Video Game High School 3x1

1. Candidates...

2. It's been quite an election.

3. The polls are closed.

4. The votes are in.

5. And one of you will be...

6. America's Next Top President!

7. [The Star-Spangled Banner

8. plays]

9. Senator Marshall...

10. Your record on women's rights

11. is impeccable, and you have

12. Tony Hawk...

13. You're really, really good

14. at skateboarding.

15. I wish I could elect you

16. Thank you.

17. both.

18. But the final rose...

19. The President of

20. The United States of America!

21. Mr. president!

22. Frank, you're safe!

23. I am, but america's not.

24. Honey, hand over the launch

25. codes.

26. Tony, I'm gonna need your board.

27. Is this thing live?

28. America, listen to me

29. very carefully.

30. You are—

31. More on that later, zwners,

32. But we've got an epic Kill

33. streak in progress!

34. No time to explain -

35. just shut up and watch!

36. Yo, Brian.

37. Come on, I got you, bro.

38. Hey, come on, move your—

39. match, but...

40. Last-minute miracle plays

41. and lucky comebacks just

42. aren't gonna cut it...

43. In the totally extreme road

44. to the championships!

45. The competition has never

46. been tougher, nor the stakes

47. You can't help but feel that

48. this VGHS team has lost

49. a certain...

50. Je ne sais...

51. "Law!"

52. Ooh, la la.

53. Barnstormer.

54. Just sampling the local cuisine.

55. So were we.

56. Prostitutes.

57. Yeah.

58. Yeah.

59. You want another cap?

60. sure.

61. Not like there's anything else

62. going on.

63. Ha ha, yeah.

64. 17 to zero.

65. 17 to zero!

66. Napalm's unstoppable.

67. Championship's in the bag.

68. You got to get in on this thing

69. while you still can, before it

70. goes up, up, up!

71. Okay, we get it.

72. team was good for the company.

73. But why are we here?

74. What's your endgame?

75. What do you want?

76. I want...

77. Video Game High School.

78. One down, four to go.

79. Up top, all right.

80. Vote for Shane.

81. It's okay, Wendell.

82. Let's pass out more cookies.

83. Okay.

84. Vote for Ki.

85. Thanks.

86. Hey!

87. Yeah, i'll vote for Shane...

88. Like, never...

89. Go!

90. Yes!

91. Ha ha! whoo!

92. Ted wins.

93. Err!

94. Boosh!

95. Ph, sor—

96. Oh.

97. Hey, dude.

98. Sorry about that.

99. Are you...

100. Yeah, he's our Ted now.

101. Yikes.

102. Are you okay?

103. No?

104. Hey, man, you got to forget

105. We all got the day off.

106. Let's go get cool by the pool.

107. Actually, Games, Brian and I

108. have some one-on-one time

109. planned.

110. Yes, there is an olive oil

111. tasting at Romero's.

112. Jenny, we're gonna be late!

113. Is that what you're wearing?

114. For?

115. For your interview on OMG?

116. Oh, god, that's today?

117. Can't I just skip it?

118. That's hilarious.

119. Oh, my god, Brian,

120. I'm so sorry.

121. I forgot.

122. We'll hang out tonight, yeah?

123. Yeah, don't worry about it.

124. Okay.

125. Good luck.

126. Thanks.

127. I don't know, Ki.

128. Shane's gonna throw us

129. a pizza party every week.

130. Yeah, what do we get if we

131. vote for you guys?

132. Well, you get

133. a strong leader—

134. Forget it, Ki.

135. The M.M.O. guild only wants

136. Let's talk deal.

137. Ooh.

138. Can you give me Babbage's blade?

139. Oh, my gosh, Josh.

140. If you wanted that lame sword,

141. you should have bought

142. the collector's edition.

143. Whatevs, I still want it, eh?

144. Fine, get my babe Babbage's

145. Blade, and you totes got our

146. votes.

147. We're outie.

148. Ooh, I should go too.

149. I'm going to meet with

150. the social gamers.

151. Ew, what?

152. Those guys aren't even

153. real gamers.

154. Plus, the M.M.O. guild is, like,

155. half the voting block, Ki.

156. Who will only vote for us

157. if we bribe them.

158. And I'm not that sort

159. of candidate, okay?

160. Okay, yeah.

161. No, you're right.

162. I don't know what I was

163. thinking.

164. Go meet the people.

165. Best boyfriend ever—

166. This guy.

167. Hi, Ted.

168. Hi.

169. I have to go.

170. Oh, okay.

171. Bye, Ki.

172. Bye.

173. Deathstalker, right?

174. I'm gonna need you to get us

175. Babbage's blade.

176. What?

177. Why?

178. 'Cause it's the only way the

179. M.M.O. guild will vote for us.

180. And if we don't get those votes,

181. we're gonna lose, and then Ki's

182. Gonna cry.

183. Is that what you want, Ted?

184. You want Ki to cry?

185. No, of course not.

186. Suit up.

187. Okay.

188. But the only person I know that

189. Bbought the collector's edition

190. is...

191. Oh, man.

192. The collector's edition?

193. It's your money.

194. Do whatever you want.

195. Yeah.

196. What the heck, Ted?

197. You ignore me for two weeks,

198. and now you're trying to steal

199. my stuff?

200. It's for Ki.

201. She needs Babbage's blade to

202. win the election.

203. Not that you care.

204. Why didn't you just ask?

205. 'Cause I'm not talking to

206. you.

207. Now, do you want Ki to win this

208. or what?

209. Yeah, I do.

210. But it's a two-man quest,

211. so I'm coming with you.

212. What?

213. No way.

214. Ted, does Ki need this thing

215. or not?

216. Fine.

217. But I'm still not talking

218. to you.

219. And I'm playing from Ki's room.

220. Okay, then, fine.

221. Fine, then, okay.

222. See you at Mount Jerek!

223. That's far enough, griefer.

224. State your business.

225. Hi, I'm Ki swan.

226. I'm not a griefer.

227. I'm a politician.

228. Even worse.

229. Get going.

230. Sorry, ma'am.

231. I'm running for class president.

232. I'm only here to learn how I can

233. help you and your fellow

234. social gamers.

235. Help?

236. You just want an easy vote for

237. a bucket of empty promises.

238. If you fancy hard-core gamer

239. folk really wanted to help us

240. cow-clickers, you'd come to our

241. Now, if you don't mind, i've got

242. Bongo Berries to harvest.

243. Two-minute warning,

244. everybody.

245. Two minutes to showtime.

246. They're gonna ask a bunch of

247. dumb, nosy, personal questions

248. about my life, aren't they?

249. Stop squirming.

250. Gosh, I hate these things.

251. I hate talking about myself.

252. Well, get used to it, because

253. being a pro means being

254. a personality.

255. Just look at ashley over there.

256. And then I says to the

257. salesman, "yacht?

258. Oh, man.

259. Jacques Latour, big fan.

260. That's Jacques Latour.

261. Oh, my gosh, he's, like, the

262. Best FPS coach of all time.

263. I'm right here, Jenny.

264. Mom, he coaches the Paris

265. Panthers.

266. That's, like, my favorite team

267. since forever.

268. I can't talk to him.

269. Mom, will you go talk to him?

270. Matthews, Barnstormer,

271. 30 seconds.

272. Oh, god.

273. Please tell me not to

274. embarrass myself.

275. Jenny, just relax.

276. You're fine, okay?

277. Okay.

278. Jacques Latour...

279. Cool dude.

280. Ah, this is gonna be fun.

281. You're on.

282. Go, go, go.

283. W are back from commercials

284. And talking to

285. Ashley Barnstormer and

286. Jenny Matrix.

287. Please clap for them.

288. Agree/Disagree?

289. You know, TalkBot,

290. I got to say, Jenny and VGHS

291. have really pulled off something

292. special this season.

293. But I feel good about our

294. chances.

295. Jenny...

296. Tell us about your parents'

297. divorce.

298. What?

299. Do you blame yourself?

300. Uh...

301. No.

302. Can we talk about something

303. else?

304. Who's the better smoocher,

305. Brian D. or The Law?

306. My goodness.

307. Just playing, just playing!

308. Ha ha ha ha.

309. Very charming.

310. Oh, my god.

311. So, uh...

312. How's drifting?

313. How's not talking to Brian?

314. I'd at least like to know

315. If Ki's all right.

316. Haven't really talked to her

317. since—

318. Traveler, beware!

319. Grave danger lies ahead.

320. Oh, Ted, i think this is

321. the guy.

322. Are you the Babbages guy?

323. You fools seek Babbage's

324. Blade?

325. Yep, we do.

326. Where do we go?

327. Many have died in pursuit

328. of that wretched blade.

329. Before I send you to your doom,

330. Prove you are worthy...

331. By entering the exclusive

332. pre-order bonus code found on

333. The inside cover of the art book

334. in the Deathstalker 2:

335. King's Ransom edition...

336. If you dare.

337. Got it right here.

338. It's 3-b-b-x-x-y-1.

339. You are...

340. Unworthy.

341. Wait. What?

342. No, no.

343. Oh, wait a minute.

344. It's not a one.

345. It's a lowercase "l."

346. You are worthy.

347. Enjoy your thrilling

348. DLC adventure.

349. Thank you.

350. But before you do,

351. Hear this tragic tale

352. of Sir Babbages

353. And the cursed blade...

354. Skip, skip, skip.

355. I and knights —

356. Skip, skip, skip, skip.

357. Seeing nothing but death—

358. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.

359. ash under a sky of blood.

360. Skip, skip, skip.

361. Dude, we're on a clock here.

362. I should have...

363. I should have stayed a farmer.

364. Just skip it.

365. Okay, looks like it's, uh,

366. yeah, this way.

367. I didn't tell Ki not to talk

368. to you or anything.

369. Okay.

370. She's just busy.

371. You should hang out with her

372. sometime.

373. I will.

374. Thanks.

375. Anyway, let's get this

376. over with.

377. Traveler, beware!

378. Hello?

379. Is anybody down here?

380. I didn't think you'd show up.

381. Say hello to the Fruit Tune

382. Farmers.

383. Hi.

384. A.cC's broken,

385. Runny noses wherever you look,

386. Spotty wi-fi.

387. We lost our Fiddle Fig crop

388. when the router timed out.

389. We'd suffer it all if we could

390. get some decent computers.

391. Well, I can see why you would

392. need wi-fi and actual chairs,

393. But the computers seem to be

394. running the game just fine.

395. All we want is equal

396. treatment.

397. These computers are lame.

398. The ones they got upstairs—

399. they're, like, from the future.

400. Well, that's because they're

401. for playing real games.

402. "Real games"?

403. Fruit Tune Farms may not have

404. fancy graphics or take

405. lightning-fast reflexes,

406. But it takes dedication and care

407. to tend these crops.

408. We love it, and it brings us

409. together.

410. So i ask you, Ki swan, isn't

411. that what gaming's all about?

412. She has to get—

413. Ah, Ki!

414. Where have you been?

415. The debate's in, like,

416. five seconds!

417. I was talking with the

418. Social gamers—

419. Dah — Blagh!

420. Look, bad news—

421. Shane— Shane promised pizza

422. Parties to every team in the school.

423. So we have to shift to a

424. pro-pizza party platform.

425. You got that?

426. When they ask about the

427. student funds—

428. Wendell, there's good things

429. we can do with that money.

430. Aw, Ki, look at that crowd.

431. They are literally eating up

432. Candidates, tick tock.

433. Let's get this show on the road.

434. Guh.

435. And every night i would open

436. ip that freezer door and say,

437. My strawberry swirl."

438. Thank you.

439. Jenny...

440. Same question.

441. a strawberry milkshake,

442. would you still love him?

443. No, because he'd be a milkshake.

444. So physical attraction

445. is important to you.

446. What?

447. No, i'm just being realistic.

448. Come on.

449. Looks like the only thing

450. colder than that milkshake

451. is jenny's heart.

452. For Ashley!

453. Next segment—

454. "Did Jenny just say that?"

455. Jenny, rank your favorite

456. races in order.

457. Um, wha—

458. It's just a thought

459. experiment, jenny.

460. No one will get mad at you.

461. Okay.

462. Um...

463. Well, i guess that i'm white,

464. So... white.

465. And then i love indian food,

466. so maybe that would be two?

467. We were talking about

468. World of Warcraft.

469. Oh, my God.

470. And that is how my drinking

471. fountain redistribution act will

472. ensure equal access to all

473. students without increasing

474. hallway foot traffic.

475. Okay, final question—

476. How do you plan to use the

477. student fund to benefit vghs?

478. Shane, two minutes.

479. I only need two words—

480. Pizza parties!

481. Pizza, pizza, pizza...

482. All right, all right,

483. Ki Swan, any rebuttal?

484. Pizza parties are good...

485. But...

486. free garlic knots!

487. Garlic knots?

488. Why didn't we think of that?

489. You're fired, Sebastian.

490. Okay, man.

491. I get it.

492. 30 seconds, Ki.

493. Anything else?

494. Is that all?

495. Also, i would like to use

496. a portion of the fund to buy new

497. computers for the social gamers.

498. As class president, i want to

499. make this school better for

500. every gamer.

501. They don't even have chairs,

502. And pizza's unhealthy!

503. Yes.

504. Ted!

505. At last, the curse is broken.

506. Thank you,

507. true friend! Finally—

508. And skippity-skip.

509. I'll take that blade now, buddy.

510. Here you are, good sir—

511. One Babbage's blade,

512. As promised.

513. Wait. What?

514. You picked up the sword.

515. It's bind on pickup.

516. Wait, no.

517. Ugh, the whole quest

518. is ruined now!

519. Dude, I'm sorry.

520. You're supposed to pick up

521. No Binding.

522. Well, maybe you should have

523. told me that, Ted.

524. Oh, so this is my fault now.

525. Yes, a little bit.

526. I didn't know about the

527. glove, okay?

528. Maybe you would have if

529. you hadn't skipped all of the

530. The dialogue is so boring.

531. You're boring!

532. Oh, real mature, Ted.

533. Ted!

534. Well, I hope you're happy.

535. You just cost Ki the election.

536. I'm just trying to help, ted.

537. What are you doing?

538. I'm doing the quest again,

539. alone.

540. It doesn't work like that,

541. idiot.

542. Don't call me an idiot,

543. you jerk!

544. God, Ted, you're such

545. an asshole!

546. Ugh.

547. Dude, are you okay?

548. Screw you.

549. No, no, no, no, no, no.

550. Dude, i'm sorry.

551. I didn't mean to.

552. I'm sorry.

553. no, you're not.

554. You're not my friend.

555. No, Ted, i am.

556. I'm sorry.

557. I—

558. I didn't mean to.

559. I'm really sorry, man.

560. Shut up, Brian!

561. Just shut up!

562. I'm done.

563. Go to hell.

564. He's on fire!

565. And he's good at basketball.

566. What a scholar!

567. Now, Jenny, an anonymous

568. informant tells us you have

569. a hidden talent of your own.

570. Uh, are you talking about

571. DXM?

572. No.

573. Even more embarrassingly,

574. you used to play

575. Paropera the Opera, like a nerd.

576. Who told you that?

577. Loading Paropera the Opera.

578. Jenny will now sing for us.

579. Oh, no, no, no, thank you.

580. I don't do that.

581. Right, everyone?

582. Sing...

583. Sing, sing, sing, sing,

584. Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing,

585. Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing...

586. I can't believe you told them

587. Well, it's a good thing

588. I did...

589. You were dying out there.

590. Well, thanks.

591. Coach Latour.

592. I'm sorry.

593. I'm just—i'm a really big fan.

594. You are Jenny Matrix, oui?

595. Yeah.

596. This has been quite

597. the season.

598. Wow.

599. Thanks.

600. You're... quite the coach!

601. Um... ah...

602. What i meant was, you've been

603. watching me?

604. But of course.

605. This is the scouting season.

606. You are the best sniper

607. in the entire league.

608. The Panthers would be very

609. lucky to have you.

610. Shut up.

611. That's stupid.

612. Just keep it up.

613. Mm-hmm.

614. But now excuse me.

615. I'll be very late for my flight.

616. Au revoir.

617. That means "Till we meet

618. again!"

619. Hey, Ki.

620. Wendell?

621. You got to come see this.

622. Uh, wendell...

623. What's going on?

624. You stood up for us, Ki Swan.

625. You looked out for

626. the little guy.

627. Now we're looking out for you.

628. Say hello to your new campaign

629. Let's get to work.

630. Theodore?

631. Are you living here?

632. Yeah.

633. You got a problem with that?

634. What troubles you?

635. I had one stupid thing to do

636. today — get that sword for Ki.

637. I couldn't even get that right.

638. Come with me.

639. No!

640. Vote for Ki.

641. Hi.

642. Hey.

643. How'd it go?

644. It was amazing.

645. I met Jacques Latour.

646. I sang opera.

647. You didn't watch it?

648. No, I was going to,

649. But Ted came over, so...

650. How did that go?

651. Not great, but, you know,

652. friends come and go, right?

653. Tell me about Jacques.

654. Brian, are you okay?

655. Yes.

656. Really?

657. Yes, yes, no, i just—

658. I'd like to talk about your

659. day, please.

660. Well, um...

661. First off...

662. Backstage food is awesome...

663. I have so much candy

664. Here—oh, my gosh.

665. It's, like, gonna gain

666. ten pounds tonight.

667. don't care.

668. I'm gonna get a cavity.

669. Love it.

670. Ted!

671. I got you the M.M.O. guild.

672. You're amazing, ted.

673. Come on.

674. This is my boyfriend, ted.

675. He's on the campaign too.

676. Yes!

677. Hello, welcome to

678. Brother Hotline.

679. Please say the name of the

680. biological brother you wish

681. to speak to.

682. You said Ashley Barnstormer.

683. Is this your name— Shane Pizza?

684. Yes.

685. Your real name is

686. Shane Barnstormer,

687. Brother of Ashley Barnstormer.

688. Connecting you to your brother

689. now.

690. Expected wait time for your

691. brother is... right now.

692. What's up, brother?