1. In five,
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2. four, three, two...
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3. - Hey, I'm the sweet brunette.
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4. - And I'm the dirty blonde.
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5. And this be
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6. - Okay, a fan of iCarly...
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7. - ... wrote to us right here
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8. at iCarly.com...
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9. - ... and said this:
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10. "Hey, Carly and Sam.
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11. My name is Robert.
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12. And last week was my birthday."
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13. - "... So I asked my parents
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14. for a new game station,
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15. but all they got me
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16. were two wireless controllers."
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17. - "How can I play game if
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18. all I got was two controllers?"
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19. - Well, Robert, first of all,
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20. let me just say that
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21. your parents are the worst.
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22. - They're bad people.
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23. - But the good news is...
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24. - ... if you
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25. have two controllers...
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26. - ... you can still play
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27. some pretty rockin' video games.
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28. - Even without a game station.
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29. - Let's show Robert how.
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30. - Well, okay.
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31. - Now, as you can see...
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32. - ... Sam and I
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33. have two wireless controllers.
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34. - We may not have a game station
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35. to go with them...
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36. - ... but we do have...
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37. A vicious army
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38. of raw eggs!
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39. So vicious.
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40. They make me want to eat them.
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41. Yes, look at them.
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42. Look at them.
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43. - Controllers ready.
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44. - Begin!
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45. - Oh. Yeah!
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46. Game over.
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47. - Whoa.
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48. - Yeah.
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49. - That sound means
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50. it's time for...
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51. Messin' with Lewbert.
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52. - Woo!
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53. - Oh, yeah, that's right.
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54. Now, you all know
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55. the nasty doorman
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56. in my building.
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57. - Lewbert.
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58. - Well, last weekend,
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59. my brother Spencer built us
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60. a fake soda machine.
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61. - And yesterday,
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62. we put it in the hallway
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63. outside Carly's apartment.
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64. - Freddie,
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65. show them what happened.
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66. - Showin' them.
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67. - What the—soda machine?
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68. Hey! Who put this soda machine
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69. here without my permission?
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70. Huh?
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71. - And now it's time
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72. for a little surprise.
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73. - Come on.
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74. I want my diet root beer.
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75. In five,
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76. four, three, two...
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77. unless you take one
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78. - So, you ready to hear
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79. my brilliant idea for iCarly?
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80. - What?
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81. - Bikini dog food fight.
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82. - What's a bikini
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83. dog food fight?
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84. - We get Gibby
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85. and some other guy,
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86. make 'em put on bikinis
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87. and fight with dog food.
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88. - That's humiliating and gross.
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89. - I know!
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90. Hey, Gibson.
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91. Over here. Front and center.
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92. - Whassup?
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93. - Run, Gibby.
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94. - What's gonna happen?
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95. - Listen, I have a vision.
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96. - A vision of what?
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97. - You and some other loser...
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98. Wearing bikinis...
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99. Fighting... with dog food.
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100. - No. I don't want—
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101. Get back here!
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102. No.
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103. - Come... back here!
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104. - I don't wanna wear a bikini
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105. and fight some other loser
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106. with dog food.
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107. - Why not?
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108. - I have some dignity.
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109. - Since when?
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110. No.
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111. - Come on.
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112. - No.
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113. - Just try this on.
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114. - I'm not gonna try it on.
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115. Leave me alone, Sam!
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116. Give me the bikini, Sam.
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117. What's going on? Hey.
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118. - What you doin'?
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119. - Hey.
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120. Hi.
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121. You guys ever watch Totally Teri
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122. on the Dingo Channel?
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123. - No. Gross.
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124. - Why?
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125. - 'Cause last night
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126. my little brother
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127. was watching it
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128. and they ripped off
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129. one of your iCarly bits.
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130. - What did they do?
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131. - One of the stars
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132. of the show hit a button
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133. and you heard "Random jumping!"
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134. and then music played,
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135. lights flashed,
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136. and they jumped all around.
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137. - Dude, that's exactly
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138. the same as Random Dancing.
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139. - That's what I'm sayin'.
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140. They ripped off iCarly.
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141. You guys should do
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142. something about it.
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143. Yup. You should.
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144. - Can you believe this?
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145. - We don't know
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146. they stole from us.
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147. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
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148. Oh, come on.
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149. We've been doing Random Dancing
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150. on iCarly for two years,
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151. now some show on
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152. the Dingo Channel starts doing
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153. random jumping and
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154. you think that's a coincidence?
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155. - I don't know.
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156. Maybe there was similar,
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157. you know...
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158. - Okay.
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159. No fighting, no dog food,
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160. but I will wear the bikini top.
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161. I know.
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162. I'll wear a wig, and that way,
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163. Devon will never know it's me.
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164. That's a brilliant idea.
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165. And by brilliant,
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166. I mean ridiculous.
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167. Burn.
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168. - Hey, whatchoo guys watchin'?
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169. - The Dingo Channel.
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170. - Some hideous show called
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171. Totally Teri.
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172. - I hate all those shows
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173. on the Dingo Channel.
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174. The jokes are so stupid,
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175. and they always
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176. make the grown-ups
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177. look like buffoons.
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178. - You forgot to put
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179. your pants on again.
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180. - Oh, my God!
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181. - Man,
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182. there's not one restaurant
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183. in Seattle that delivers
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184. fried chicken.
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185. - Pay attention.
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186. Let's watch the show.
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187. - So, why are you guys
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188. watching that anyway?
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189. - 'Cause some kids at school
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190. told us the show Totally Teri
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191. has been copying stuff we do
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192. on iCarly.
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193. - Wouldn't surprise me.
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194. Dingo Channel is run by freaks.
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195. - What do you mean?
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196. - Well, you know the guy who
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197. started it, like 60 years ago?
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198. - Charles Dingo?
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199. Yeah.
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200. I heard that when he died
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201. of some rare disease,
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202. they froze his head
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203. and they've kept it
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204. in a special freezer
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205. to this day.
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206. - Why would they wanna keep
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207. Charles Dingo's head
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208. in a freezer?
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209. - So that in the future,
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210. when they find a cure,
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211. they can unfreeze it and
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212. re-attach it to a robot body.
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213. - And I read online
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214. that they keep the frozen head
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215. somewhere deep in the bowels
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216. of Dingo Studios.
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217. - Okay, first,
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218. there's no way that's true,
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219. and second,
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220. I can't believe you said bowels
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221. and please never say it again.
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222. - You're such a priss.
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223. - The prissiest.
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224. Now, shhh, it's back on.
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225. What are you doing?
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226. Playing a joke
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227. on my doorman, Rupert.
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228. - His doorman, Rupert?
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229. Uh, that sounds a lot
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230. like Lewbert.
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231. Ewww, look at that
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232. wart on Rupert's face.
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233. - Hey, there's a wart
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234. on Rupert's face.
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235. - Yeah, just like Lewbert's.
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236. - Just not as plump.
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237. - Well, yeah, but still.
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238. Now,
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239. watch what happens when Rupert
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240. tries to buy something
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241. outta that snack machine.
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242. - Two hands just popped
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243. outta that snack machine.
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244. - Yeah, where have we seen
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245. that before?
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246. - They ripped off iCarly.
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247. - No chiz.
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248. - You guys watchin'?
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249. - Yeah.
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250. - They stole
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251. "Messin' With Lewbert."
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252. - And Random Dancing.
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253. - Those Gingo people are dead.
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254. - What are we gonna do?
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255. - We're gonna go find 'em
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256. and kick them in their dingos.
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257. - Dingo Studios is in Hollywood.
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258. - Which is like
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259. 900 miles from here.
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260. Okay, look,
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261. I think it's really jank
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262. that they're rippin' off iCarly,
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263. but I can't just drop everything
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264. and drive you guys
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265. 900 miles to Dingo Studios.
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266. - When we get there,
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267. maybe you could find the head
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268. of Charles Dingo.
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269. - The frozen head.
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270. - We leave at midnight.
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271. - All right, here you go.
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272. There's your beds,
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273. your bathroom.
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274. - What's that?
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275. - Uh, just some tape.
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276. - Hey, you said this room
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277. had a great view of Hollywood.
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278. - It does.
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279. Hey, Hollywood, wake up.
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280. That's Hollywood right there.
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281. Bye.
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282. - Could I borrow some underwear?
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283. - No.
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284. - Close it. Close it. Close it.
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285. Close it. Close it.
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286. - What?
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287. - This is the nice hotel
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288. your mom recommended?
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289. - This is where she stays
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290. when she comes to town.
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291. - Why?
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292. - The plastic surgeon works
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293. out of room 210.
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294. - All right, whatever.
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295. Let's just figure out
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296. how we're gonna get
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297. into Dingo Studios.
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298. - I got that covered.
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299. I went online and found a photo
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300. of a Dingo I.D. badge
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301. and I made laminated copies
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302. with our pictures for us.
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303. One for Carly, Spencer and Sam.
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304. - Cool.
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305. - Nice work, Fredley.
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306. And I found this online tour
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307. of the main Dingo building.
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308. The Totally Teri writers' room
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309. is on the third floor,
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310. west side.
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311. - Perfect.
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312. We'll use these to get inside...
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313. - ... and then we can find
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314. those brain-dead writers
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315. and start smackin' 'em around
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316. for rippin' off iCarly.
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317. - Hey, hey,
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318. does that online tour of Dingo
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319. show how to get to the basement?
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320. - Yeah, why?
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321. - You gonna do
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322. a little frozen head huntin'?
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323. - A little frozen head findin'.
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324. - I told you guys,
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325. I looked it up and I found
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326. three different articles
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327. where the vice president
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328. of the studio said that story
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329. about Charles Dingo's
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330. frozen head isn't true.
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331. - Of course, they say that.
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332. - They wanna keep it a secret.
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333. - 'Cause how would it look
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334. if people found out
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335. that a kids' network
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336. has their leader's head
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337. stuck in a freezer?
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338. - I hear the head
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339. is somewhere deep in the bowels
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340. of the main Dingo building.
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341. - The bowels?
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342. - See, I said
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343. it was in the bowels too.
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344. - Okay, next person
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345. who says "bowels"
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346. sleeps in the bathtub.
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347. - Bowels. I got the bathtub.
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348. - No. No, no, no,
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349. no, no, no, no.
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350. - Here it is.
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351. - Oh, cool.
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352. Okay, you guys go in there
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353. and confront the Totally Teri
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354. writers.
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355. I'm gonna go find
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356. Charles Dingo's frozen head.
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357. - Wait, maybe Freddie
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358. should go with you.
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359. - No, I wanna watch Sam
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360. beat up TV writers.
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361. - Carly and I got this.
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362. Besides, they ripped off
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363. our ideas, not yours.
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364. - I'm a big part of iCarly too.
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365. - Yeah, well, I've never heard
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366. Totally Teri
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367. "In five, four,
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368. three, two, one".
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369. - You don't say the one.
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370. - Come on. I gotta go find
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371. Charles Dingo's frozen head.
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372. - Please go with him.
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373. - Okay.
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374. - Be careful.
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375. - You too.
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376. - Okay. Let's shake 'em up.
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377. - What is that?
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378. - A sock full of butter.
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379. - For what?
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380. - For swingin'.
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381. I could brain an elephant
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382. with this thing.
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383. - We're not gonna walk in there
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384. and start hitting TV writers
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385. with a big buttery sock.
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386. We're gonna be professional
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387. and firm.
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388. - Fine.
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389. But if they deny
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390. stealing from iCarly,
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391. I'm gonna get swingy
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392. with this thing.
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393. - Not unless I say it's okay.
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394. Hello.
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395. You guys are the writers
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396. for Totally Teri?
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397. - Yeah.
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398. - What do you want?
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399. - We're from iCarly.
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400. - They know that.
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401. Who do you clowns think you are,
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402. stealin' our ideas?
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403. Whoa, we've never stolen
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404. an idea from anyone,
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405. so why don't you
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406. two little girls just—
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407. - Sam, you're not supposed
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408. to get swingy
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409. unless I say it's okay.
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410. - Hey, what's in that sock?
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411. - Payback.
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412. - For what?
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413. - For stealing our comedy bits.
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414. - Look, we've never even heard
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415. of your web show.
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416. - Oh, you haven't?
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417. - No.
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418. - Hey, here's a flash drive
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419. with the segments
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420. from the last two iCarlys
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421. you wanted.
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422. Whoa, it's the iCarly girls.
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423. Man, we all love your web show.
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424. - May I get swingy?
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425. - Yes.
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426. - Just what do you girls want?
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427. - We want you to stop
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428. stealing ideas from iCarly
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429. and using them on Totally Teri.
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430. - Yeah, why don't you nubs come
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431. up with your own comedy ideas?
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432. - Because coming up with ideas
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433. is hard.
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434. - Anyway, we do come up
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435. with our own ideas.
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436. - It was my idea to steal
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437. from iCarly.
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438. - That was my idea.
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439. - Whoa, wait.
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440. I'm the one
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441. in the first place.
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442. - Hey!
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443. Be quiet!
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444. Oh, my God.
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445. Oh, my God.
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446. - Thank you.
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447. - We don't care
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448. which one of you fudge bags
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449. thought of stealing our ideas.
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450. - We just want it to stop.
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451. - All right, well, which bits
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452. do you think we stole?
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453. - Random Dancing.
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454. - No. We did Random Jumping.
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455. - Which is
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456. completely different.
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457. Look, for two years
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458. on iCarly,
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459. we've been doing Random Dancing.
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460. - Random Debates.
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461. - Random Pants.
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462. Oh, and what about
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463. "Messin' With Lewbert"?
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464. Which you punk-nuts
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465. ripped off and called
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466. "Messin' With Rupert".
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467. - You can't just steal
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468. our ideas,
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469. change 'em a little bit,
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470. then pretend they're yours.
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471. - You said we could.
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472. - Shut up.
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473. - Anyway, just because
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474. we do some things
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475. on Totally Teri
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476. that are similar to the stuff
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477. you do on iCarly...
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478. - Doesn't mean we're stealing.
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479. - Then how do you explain
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480. these cards on the wall
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481. under a sign that says
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482. "ideas we can steal
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483. from iCarly"?
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484. - I'm gonna have to ask you
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485. to leave.
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486. - We're not goin' anywhere
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487. till you men swear
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488. to quit rippin' us off.
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489. - We don't have
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490. to swear anything.
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491. - Then we'll sue you guys.
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492. - Uh, this
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493. is the Dingo Channel.
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494. - So, we have the lawyers,
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495. the money, and therefore,
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496. the power to steal any ideas
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497. we want.
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498. - And there's nothing
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499. you can do about it.
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500. Now, do you ladies
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501. wanna walk out of here
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502. or do you wanna be carried out?
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503. - Let's go.
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504. - Wait.
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505. - What?
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506. - I'd kinda like
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507. to be carried out.
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508. - Sam?
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509. - I don't like
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510. walking long distances.
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511. Let's go, come on.
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512. I don't.
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513. There is too much effort,
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514. really.
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515. - Are you guys writing down
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516. what we're saying?
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517. - Yeah, you guys are hilarious.
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518. - Now keep talkin'.
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519. - This is gold.
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520. - They're stealing our banter
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521. right in front of us.
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522. - Let's get out of here.
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523. - No, you just come with me,
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524. young man.
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525. You're in serious trouble.
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526. - Hey, hey.
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527. You're not supposed
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528. to be down here.
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529. - Excuse me,
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530. but I work in this building,
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531. and I just caught this boy
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532. lurking here
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533. in the bowels of Dingo.
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534. - Look, nobody's supposed
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535. to be down on this floor.
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536. - Exactly.
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537. So why didn't you stop
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538. this teenager from being here?
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539. - Well, I—
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540. I didn't know he was—
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541. - You didn't know!
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542. Isn't it your job to know what's
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543. happening in these hallways?
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544. - Yeah, sure, but I—
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545. - I guess I'll have to speak
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546. to Mr. Fufferman about this.
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547. - Who's Mr. Fufferman?
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548. - Man, what else don't you know?
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549. - I—
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550. - Dismissed. Go.
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551. - Okay, okay.
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552. - Wait. I'll need your keys.
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553. - Why?
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554. - For Mr. Fufferman.
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555. - All right, here. Here.
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556. - Nice.
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557. - Thanks.
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558. Whoa, check it out.
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559. Charles Dingo's head
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560. is in there.
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561. - You don't know that.
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562. - What else would you keep in
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563. a cryogenic freezer like that?
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564. - Cryogenic frozen pizzas?
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565. - You're afraid
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566. to see the head.
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567. - I am not.
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568. - Good.
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569. - I'm goin' in.
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570. - What do you see?
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571. Nothing. Hold on.
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572. There's a shelf here.
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573. Wait, what's this?
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574. The head!
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575. - What?
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576. - The head!
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577. - You did not.
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578. I did too.
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579. It was in a weird,
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580. futuristic head container.
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581. - Come on.
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582. - Okay, you go in there
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583. and tell me that's not the head
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584. of Charles Dingo—
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585. unless you're scared.
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586. - Just wait here.
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587. Okay, the only thing I see
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588. in here is—
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589. - It's the head.
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590. - It's the head, right?
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591. - It has a container.
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592. I can't believe
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593. we found the head.
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594. - I swear it blinked at me.
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595. - Would you guys quit talkin'
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596. about the stupid frozen head?
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597. - Don't you guys care
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598. that those dingo writers
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599. are gonna keep
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600. ripping off iCarly
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601. and there's nothing we can do
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602. about it.
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603. They probably even—
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604. - What?
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605. - A mouse just ran
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606. across my foot.
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607. See, he's right over there.
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608. That's not a mouse.
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609. That's a rat.
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610. - This motel is disgusting.
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611. - Ah, you're such
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612. a bunch of prancies.
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613. - Come on, these pillows aren't
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614. even pillows.
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615. They're just pillow cases
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616. filled with crumpled up
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617. old newspapers.
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618. - And this lamp
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619. doesn't even have a light bulb.
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620. Just a potato.
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621. - I'm gonna go wash my hands.
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622. - Hobo: Hey, you.
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623. A hobo in our bathtub.
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624. - Ow.
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625. - Scram. Scram. Scram. Scram.
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626. Scram. Scram.
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627. Let's just go home.
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628. - And let those Dingo writers
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629. keep stealin' our bits
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630. and using 'em on Totally Teri?
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631. - Well, what are we gonna do?
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632. They're the Dingo Channel.
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633. They've got money and lawyers
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634. and all we've got
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635. is Sam's butter sock.
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636. - We've got the key
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637. to the head.
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638. - Oh, no.
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639. - The head.
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640. - The head.
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641. - Move. Move.
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642. Hey.
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643. - I was in the middle
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644. of my solo.
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645. - How'd they get back in here?
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646. - Glenn, call security.
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647. - Sit down, Glenn!
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648. Now, I'm gonna ask you
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649. one more time.
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650. Are you gonna stop stealing
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651. ideas from iCarly
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652. and using them
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653. on your dumb Dingo show?
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654. - Hey, I got it.
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655. What if we do an episode
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656. where someone steals
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657. Teri's ideas,
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658. and then she and her friends—
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659. - Stop that!
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660. - You guys are the worst!
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661. - We told you.
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662. You can't stop us
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663. from doing whatever we want.
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664. - Can't we?
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665. Spencer!
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666. - What's he got there?
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667. - Oh, you know, just the...
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668. - Frozen head of Charles Dingo.
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669. - Hey, no one's supposed to know
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670. about the head.
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671. - How did you get it?
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672. - You don't need to know.
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673. - All you need to do
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674. is swear on video
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675. that you'll never steal an idea
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676. from iCarly, ever again.
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677. - And what if we don't swear?
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678. - Then we'll show
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679. Charles Dingo's head on iCarly.
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680. - And tell the whole world
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681. that the Totally Teri writers
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682. gave it to us.
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683. - And what if we call security
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684. and have 'em
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685. take the head away from you?
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686. - Then we'll just show
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687. the high-rez pics of the head
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688. we already took.
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689. - How high-rez?
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690. - 19 megapixels.
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691. - Oh, my God.
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692. That's very high-rez.
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693. - And we'll be sure to thank
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694. the Totally Teri writers
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695. for e-mailing the pics to us.
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696. - We don't care.
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697. - We'll get fired.
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698. - Don't tell them that.
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699. - Just promise
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700. you'll never steal ideas
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701. from iCarly again
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702. and you can have
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703. your leader's head back.
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704. - And we'll never say a word
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705. about this.
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706. - Better hurry,
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707. I think Mr. Dingo's melting.
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708. - We swear we'll never steal
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709. ideas
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710. from iCarly ever again.
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711. - Good. Give 'em the head.
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712. - Wait.
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713. - Wait.
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714. - What?
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715. - You clowns aren't gettin' off
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716. the hook so easy.
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717. - Sam.
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718. - What else do you want?
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719. - And next on iCarly...
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720. - It's time for...
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721. Bikini dog food fights.
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722. - Ready, Dingo boys?
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723. - Set...
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724. - Go.
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725. Go.
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726. - Sam?
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727. - Carly?
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728. - Tell everyone
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729. to go to iCarly.com.
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730. - What? You—
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731. you're breaking up.
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732. - I said, tell everyone
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733. to go to iCarly.com.
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734. - You're in love with
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735. iCarly.com?
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736. - No— well, yes,
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737. but that's not what I said.
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738. - Hello!
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739. Just tell everyone
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740. that there's lots of new videos.
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741. - New videos?
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742. - Yeah, and new blogs and photos
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743. and all kinds of awesome stuff
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744. at iCarly.com.
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745. - There's awful pus
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746. at iCarly.com?
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747. - No, there's no pus!
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748. - Just make sure
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749. everyone goes to iCarly.com.
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750. - Dude, you're breaking up.
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751. Mmm!
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