1. Hey, Bob.
Thanks for cooking me.Copy !req
2. You're pretty good with
that spatula; how old are you?Copy !req
3. 14.Copy !req
4. Oh, wow,
you're like a prodigy.Copy !req
5. Yeah,
I'm pretty good, I guess.Copy !req
6. That tickles, I like it.Copy !req
7. Here you go, Henry.
What's this?Copy !req
8. I ordered the usual.Copy !req
9. Well, well, since Pop's
getting his prostate checked,Copy !req
10. and I'm manning the grill,Copy !req
11. I thought, why not try
the unusual?Copy !req
12. Ooh.
Henry, I present to youCopy !req
13. Baby You Can Chive
My Car Burger.Copy !req
14. Sour cream, chives, and little
fried pickle wheels on the sidesCopy !req
15. that make it look like a car.Copy !req
16. Vroom, vroom!Copy !req
17. You know he's a
grown man, right?Copy !req
18. Someone's having fun
at work today.Copy !req
19. Yep, a lot. I came up with
a bunch of ideas for specials.Copy !req
20. The Crispy Brinkley Burger,
the Richard Per-Simmons Burger,Copy !req
21. the Greed is Gouda Burger...Copy !req
22. Sorry, I got excited.Copy !req
23. I-I'm just passionate.Copy !req
24. So that's what
a prostate exam is.Copy !req
25. Did you guys
know what it was?Copy !req
26. I think it's more fun
if it's a surprise.Copy !req
27. Hey, Big Bob,
look what Little Bob made.Copy !req
28. Junior, what is this?Copy !req
29. It's a Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger.Copy !req
30. A what you can
what my what burger?Copy !req
31. Henry, did you order this?
What'd you order?Copy !req
32. The usual, but this looks okay.Copy !req
33. I-I like cars.Copy !req
34. Try it, Henry,
y-you might like it.Copy !req
35. Don't tell him
what to eat, Junior.Copy !req
36. He didn't order that, he's
a tuna melt man— look at him.Copy !req
37. I-I'll take a bite.
I'll eat the wheel.Copy !req
38. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
it's my burger-car. Get off.Copy !req
39. It's nobody's burger-car.Copy !req
40. We'll make you a tuna melt.Copy !req
41. Just everybody shush!Copy !req
42. That's the last time I
get my prostate checked.Copy !req
43. Wrap it up, Teddy.Copy !req
44. We got to close up.Copy !req
45. We're going to Big Bob's
Christmas Eve party.Copy !req
46. Ugh, Teddy, eat slower.Copy !req
47. Actually,
that's too slow.Copy !req
48. Dear Lord Santa,
this year,Copy !req
49. please bless me
with a calendar ofCopy !req
50. Australian firefighters holding
puppies in casual settings.Copy !req
51. And bless me
with a perm.Copy !req
52. You only live once; why not
have a little fun up top?Copy !req
53. And, Santa, bless me with
an internship at your company.Copy !req
54. Preferably something
in the flying animalCopy !req
55. or breaking and entering
department, thank you.Copy !req
56. Kids, I know it's
Christmas Eve,Copy !req
57. but I don't think
you pray to Santa.Copy !req
58. Lord Santa, strike him down!Copy !req
59. Ooh, that reminds me.Copy !req
60. I'm supposed to go
to midnight mass tonight.Copy !req
61. Either that
or midnight basketball.Copy !req
62. I've got my shorts in the truck.Copy !req
63. What do you think I should do?Copy !req
64. Combine them— mass-ketball!Copy !req
65. All right, let's go.Copy !req
66. Big Bob's Christmas party,
here we come.Copy !req
67. I don't want to go.Copy !req
68. Plus, is it a party if my dad
just works the whole timeCopy !req
69. and charges people?Copy !req
70. Isn't that just
being a restaurant?Copy !req
71. It's Christmas, he invites us
every year, we're going.Copy !req
72. But we just went
two years ago.Copy !req
73. That was
seven years ago.
You sure?Copy !req
74. I remember. I was
still breast-feeding.Copy !req
75. No, you weren't.
Not with you.Copy !req
76. Fine, we'll go, but we're
sticking to the 15-minute rule.Copy !req
77. What?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
78. It-It's that
I can only beCopy !req
79. around my dad
for 15 minutes.Copy !req
80. Then I have to leave before
I completely lose it.Copy !req
81. Well, good luck.Copy !req
82. I give it three months.Copy !req
83. I'm gonna go inside.Copy !req
84. You're a lot fatter
than I was at your age.Copy !req
85. Gotta go.Copy !req
86. Aw, cute kid.Copy !req
87. So you named
him Gene, huh?Copy !req
88. Is it too late
to change that?Copy !req
89. I'm gonna leave now.Copy !req
90. But this is your house.
That's okay.Copy !req
91. Yep, so now Dad only sees
Grandpa in 15-minute intervals.Copy !req
92. It's like speed dating
but with your dad.Copy !req
93. Hey, father issues—
we all got 'em.Copy !req
94. I've got
mother issues, too.Copy !req
95. I've even got cousin issues.Copy !req
96. Beautiful blonde cousin issues.Copy !req
97. Aw...
Ew.
What?Copy !req
98. Oh, forget
your 15-minute rule.Copy !req
99. Tonight's the night you and your
dad finally patch everything up.Copy !req
100. ♪ This time of year ♪
Stop, stop, Teddy.Copy !req
101. Okay, Lin.Copy !req
102. Anyway, the rest of us
get along great with Pop Pop.Copy !req
103. I enjoy his opinions on
what's ruining America.Copy !req
104. You know what
you should do?Copy !req
105. You should
ask him for $5.Copy !req
106. He'll give it
to you— in cash.Copy !req
107. Okay, fine, fine.Copy !req
108. We're... w-we'll
go to Grandpa's.Copy !req
109. But we're only going
for 15 minutes.Copy !req
110. Teddy, have fun at church.
Or basketball.Copy !req
111. Either way, I'm wearing shorts.Copy !req
112. Guys, guys, did you
get presents for Mom and Dad?Copy !req
113. I got Mom that hip-hop
yoga video she wanted.Copy !req
114. I went in on it.Copy !req
115. Tina, how much
do I owe you?Copy !req
116. Just kidding,
it's on you.Copy !req
117. Great, that'll be
from all of us.Copy !req
118. So what did we get Dad, Tina?Copy !req
119. I didn't get him anything.Copy !req
120. Oh, way to go, T.Copy !req
121. Gene and I are
pulling our weight.Copy !req
122. Yeah, Tina.Copy !req
123. Sorry, it's just been
a crazy season.Copy !req
124. Well, we can't put "sorry"
under the tree, can we?Copy !req
125. We'll just give him
whatever's in my pocket.Copy !req
126. A chocolate-covered raisin.Copy !req
127. Scratch that. A raisin.Copy !req
128. Crap, this happens
every year.Copy !req
129. Well, we're gonna have to
make him a gift at Grandpa's.Copy !req
130. Mm.Copy !req
131. There it is.Copy !req
132. Our restaurant's dad.Copy !req
133. Hey, look who's here.Copy !req
134. Hey, Pete.Copy !req
135. Merry Christmas,
Bob and family.Copy !req
136. Merry Christmas, Pete!Copy !req
137. You haven't been here in so
long, I grew a big white beard.Copy !req
138. Just kidding, it's
a Santa beard.Copy !req
139. This is my real beard.Copy !req
140. Keep going!Copy !req
141. Russian nesting beards!Copy !req
142. How's your bar?Copy !req
143. Pete owns the bar
next door, remember?Copy !req
144. Is it still gay,
still going strong?Copy !req
145. Stronger and gayer than ever.
That's our motto.Copy !req
146. I just wrote
a jingle for you.Copy !req
147. Hmm.
Ha!Copy !req
148. She's pretty
"singy" tonight.Copy !req
149. Hey, Big Bob's
in the back,Copy !req
150. and I think it's
hug o'clock.Copy !req
151. Huh, kids?
I get it.Copy !req
152. We're coming for
you, Pop Pop.Copy !req
153. Here you go.Copy !req
154. Merry Christmas, Big Bob.Copy !req
155. Linda, kids.Copy !req
156. Boy, you get smaller
every year.Copy !req
157. When do I stop
calling you Big BobCopy !req
158. and start calling you
Old Wrinkly Shriveled-Up Bob?Copy !req
159. Ha!
All right,
all right.Copy !req
160. Sorry.Copy !req
161. And how are my
grandkids doing?Copy !req
162. I got problems,Copy !req
163. but nothing
five dollars wouldn't fix.Copy !req
164. Grandpa, you don't look
a day over grandpa age.Copy !req
165. You're a doll, Tina.
Thank you.Copy !req
166. Hey, look what
I got here.Copy !req
167. Who's your
favorite president?Copy !req
168. Bill Pullman!Copy !req
169. "Today we fight
for our independence!"Copy !req
170. Here you go.
Oh.Copy !req
171. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
172. Thanks, Gramps.
Hey, listen.Copy !req
173. We have an arts
and crafts emergency.Copy !req
174. We need glue, we need paper,
we need pasta.Copy !req
175. We need it,
like, yesterday.Copy !req
176. How many sizes
of googly-eyes do you have?Copy !req
177. I don't really
have any of that.Copy !req
178. But I've got a bunch of
crap down in the basementCopy !req
179. if you kids want
to take a look.Copy !req
180. One man's trash is another man's
present for their father.Copy !req
181. Hey, Junior.
How are things?Copy !req
182. Eh, my prep guy's
gone tonight.Copy !req
183. Went to the hospital 'cause
his daughter's having a baby.Copy !req
184. People can be pretty
selfish, I guess.Copy !req
185. Jerk baby.Copy !req
186. Linda.Copy !req
187. Uh, h-hold on here.Copy !req
188. Bobby, this is
going well.Copy !req
189. Yeah, check back with me
in 14-and-a-half minutes.Copy !req
190. Christmas magic.Copy !req
191. Stop saying that.
No, I don't want to.Copy !req
192. You sure look slammed
tonight, Big Bob.Copy !req
193. Seems like you
could use a hand.Copy !req
194. If only there was
someone here...
Lin, no.Copy !req
195. who knew their way
around the kitchen...
Stop.Copy !req
196. they knew the menu...Copy !req
197. Lin, no.
where to get the cheese...Copy !req
198. No.
knew where that goes.Copy !req
199. Stop.
They knew their
way around.Copy !req
200. Stop it.
Like the back
of their hand.Copy !req
201. Like they were
raised here.
No, no. I-I don't.Copy !req
202. Yeah, I doubt he'd...
Bob could help cook.Copy !req
203. No, I-I don't...
Ah?Copy !req
204. I'll get trapped in there—
15-minute rule.Copy !req
205. It's your father...
Stop it.Copy !req
206. It's your father.
Shut up.Copy !req
207. All right!Copy !req
208. You two bond, have fun!Copy !req
209. Okay, this is it.Copy !req
210. I'm gonna give Little Bob
his Christmas gift.Copy !req
211. Everybody ready?Copy !req
212. Bob Junior!
Wh-What's going on?Copy !req
213. Bobby, you've been working here
your whole life.Copy !req
214. And I'm sure you've been
waiting for this day.Copy !req
215. W-What are you doing?Copy !req
216. From this point forward,Copy !req
217. Big Bob's Diner will
officially be called...Copy !req
218. Oh, Dad, don't.Copy !req
219. Bob and Son's.Copy !req
220. All right!Copy !req
221. Yeah!Copy !req
222. The new menus.Copy !req
223. And... Okay, that's gonna
say "Son's."Copy !req
224. It's not done yet,
but it's great, huh?Copy !req
225. My cousin's painting
it. He's slow,Copy !req
226. he can only do about
a letter a day,Copy !req
227. but he can spell like
a son of a bitch.Copy !req
228. Like a son of a bitch.Copy !req
229. Come here, partner.Copy !req
230. Uh...Copy !req
231. Uh, uh...Copy !req
232. Come on, want to be
partners, or what?Copy !req
233. No?Copy !req
234. You're welcome.Copy !req
235. I think...
Wait, what'd you just say?Copy !req
236. I said no.Copy !req
237. I could never be
partners with you.Copy !req
238. You're impossible to work with.Copy !req
239. What?
Oh, boy.
Easy, Little Bob.Copy !req
240. I want to
change the menu,Copy !req
241. a-and you never want
to change the menu.Copy !req
242. And you're so critical.Copy !req
243. I can't even lift a
spatula without you sayingCopy !req
244. I'm doing it wrong.Copy !req
245. 'Cause you're
doing it wrong!Copy !req
246. L-Let's let the spatula decide.Copy !req
247. You both call it,
a-and we'll see who it goes to.Copy !req
248. I want to express myself
in the kitchen!Copy !req
249. And when I say that,
he makes this weird sound!Copy !req
250. That sound!Copy !req
251. What is that?Copy !req
252. You're gonna do this?Copy !req
253. Right now?
In front of everybody?Copy !req
254. You know what? Get out!Copy !req
255. Take your jokey
burger specials and go!Copy !req
256. Fine! You just gave meCopy !req
257. a new burger idea.Copy !req
258. The I'm Sproutta Here Burger.Copy !req
259. Comes with sprouts.Copy !req
260. Ah, not that but
something else.Copy !req
261. I thought of a better one!Copy !req
262. The I'd Be Cheddar OffCopy !req
263. Literally Anywhere
But Here Burger!Copy !req
264. Comes with aged cheddar...
forget it!Copy !req
265. Forget it!
Merry freaking Christmas!Copy !req
266. Merry Christmas,
Little Bob!Copy !req
267. Lin, this was
not the plan.Copy !req
268. Me cooking with my father at
the party was not the plan.Copy !req
269. We are radically
off plan.Copy !req
270. Bob, calm down.
Listen to me.Copy !req
271. This is a great opportunity
for you twoCopy !req
272. to turn your bad blood
to glad blood.Copy !req
273. Here, Bob, have some
Christmas magic, huh?Copy !req
274. Wait, Christmas
magic is wine?Copy !req
275. It's whatever you want it to be.Copy !req
276. It can be snow or Santa or beer
or gin or rum or schnapps.Copy !req
277. I-I get it. Listen, I've been
with him for five minutes,Copy !req
278. so I'm setting this timer
for ten minutes,Copy !req
279. and then I'm leaving.Copy !req
280. Well, I'm setting
this timer to forever.Copy !req
281. 'Cause that's how longCopy !req
282. you and your father are
gonna love each other.Copy !req
283. Talking about your heart,
Bob, not your nipple.Copy !req
284. All right, pastrami
with mustard, table three.Copy !req
285. Uh, w-where's the club sandwich
for table two?Copy !req
286. Right here, Dad.Copy !req
287. I got a great idea, Big Bob.Copy !req
288. How about I run the food,
that wayCopy !req
289. you can stay in the kitchen
and cook with Little Bob.Copy !req
290. No, no, I-I think Big Bob is
fine running the food. That's...Copy !req
291. Look out, table two, here
comes Linda with your club!Copy !req
292. Wait, where's table two?Copy !req
293. You order a club?Copy !req
294. Club? Club?Copy !req
295. Present for Dad,Copy !req
296. present for Dad,
present for Dad.Copy !req
297. Ooh, cans of beans!Copy !req
298. Dad loves to drum
on beans, right?Copy !req
299. What about this chair?
Dad sits sometimes.Copy !req
300. Ugh, boring.
He'll sit when he's dead, Tina.Copy !req
301. What if we glue all these
mousetraps together,Copy !req
302. and call it a super trap?Copy !req
303. What if I make
my chair a super chair? Like,Copy !req
304. if I tape this pad of paper
to it, then he could journal.Copy !req
305. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
306. Is this a little friendly
competition we have here?Copy !req
307. A little Christmas competition?Copy !req
308. Whoever gives Dad
the best present, wins a...Copy !req
309. A Mistle-Tony!Copy !req
310. Yes! The most coveted
award in gift-giving!Copy !req
311. Dibs on bringing Mom
to the ceremony!Copy !req
312. Dibs on bringing Dad.
Dibs on bringing Dad.Copy !req
313. Nope, too late.Copy !req
314. So, who you bringing, Tina?Copy !req
315. I don't know now.Copy !req
316. Yeah.Copy !req
317. So, uh, th-the grill
seems good.Copy !req
318. It's getting
to be an antique.Copy !req
319. Yeah, we all
are, you know?Copy !req
320. Yeah.Copy !req
321. It-It's a new hood?Copy !req
322. Five years ago.
Good hood?Copy !req
323. Yeah, pretty good.
Pretty good hood.Copy !req
324. Yeah, I-I got a
good hood, too.
Ah, that's good.Copy !req
325. You always said you
need a good hood.
I never said that.Copy !req
326. I thought you said
that. I... that's...Copy !req
327. No one in the history of
time has ever said that.Copy !req
328. "All you need
is a good hood."
I swear I rememberCopy !req
329. you saying that all
you need is a good...Copy !req
330. That wasn't me.
It was someone else.Copy !req
331. I don't know why anyone
else would say that.Copy !req
332. Dad's chair is almost done.Copy !req
333. He'll never have
to stand up again.Copy !req
334. Dad's thirsty;
he's got a water bottle.Copy !req
335. He's cold; box of matches.Copy !req
336. Now he's bored. Not anymore.Copy !req
337. Here's a basketball.Copy !req
338. And then I can
use this dish towelCopy !req
339. to wipe the floor with you.Copy !req
340. Because I just won
the Mistle-Tony.Copy !req
341. Um, when you see this trap,
you're gonna want to shut yours.Copy !req
342. Period. End of burn.Copy !req
343. How's your present going,
Little Drummer Gene?Copy !req
344. Beans, beans,
the tragical fruit?Copy !req
345. The more you drum it,
the more you lose?Copy !req
346. The contest?
That we're in right now?Copy !req
347. Mm-hmm.
Like the saying,
about the beans,Copy !req
348. but with, uh,
different words.Copy !req
349. Well, I was gonna
empty out these cansCopy !req
350. to make a better
drum sound,Copy !req
351. but now I think I might
soak these old bonesCopy !req
352. in a little bean bath!Copy !req
353. Gene, you're pulling
out of the competition?Copy !req
354. No.Copy !req
355. I'm just taking a little
siesta to clear my mind.Copy !req
356. Tina, be a dear
and get meCopy !req
357. two slices of ham
to put over my eyes.Copy !req
358. Hey, Dad, we're probably
gonna head out in about, um,Copy !req
359. 30 seconds. So, just
have to finish upCopy !req
360. this last order.
What do you
think this says?Copy !req
361. "Grilled cheese."Copy !req
362. Grilled cheese.
Huh. That's weird.
Wh... what?Copy !req
363. Nah. Nothing. Never mind.Copy !req
364. It just... it says "grilled
cheese" on the ticket,Copy !req
365. but maybe you thought it said
"burnt toast," I don't know.Copy !req
366. (high-
Oh, my God.Copy !req
367. Okay, Dad.
We're gonna hit the road.
How we doing?Copy !req
368. Good. We're just learning
how to make grilled cheeseCopy !req
369. for the first time,
for some reason.Copy !req
370. Oh, hey, look at me!Copy !req
371. I got a new order over here!Copy !req
372. Uh, Henry here at the counter
says he wants "the usual."Copy !req
373. "The usual."Copy !req
374. Uh... yeah?Copy !req
375. I'll take care of
Henry's usual, Bob.Copy !req
376. You keep burning
the grilled cheese.Copy !req
377. Oh, no, Dad, I'm gonna
take care of this.Copy !req
378. I'm gonna take
care of Henry.Copy !req
379. What are you
talking about?
I'm talkingCopy !req
380. about the burger I tried
to make him when I was 14Copy !req
381. and you put me
in charge of the restaurant.Copy !req
382. That's what I'm talking about!
Wait, what burger?Copy !req
383. The Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger, Pop!Copy !req
384. Okay.Copy !req
385. Everyone's fine.
Talking it out.Copy !req
386. Here we go! Let's see
if he's got any chives.Copy !req
387. Probably not!Copy !req
388. Why would he have
chives in a restaurant?Copy !req
389. That would be
too much flavor!Copy !req
390. Oh, I've got chives, buddy.Copy !req
391. Good. You ready,
Henry?
What?Copy !req
392. Stay out of this, Henry!
Sorry.Copy !req
393. You are not making
one of yourCopy !req
394. gimmick burgers
in my kitchen!Copy !req
395. Vroom. Vroom.Copy !req
396. What is that?Copy !req
397. It's a car sound!Copy !req
398. That's not a car sound.Copy !req
399. This is a car sound.Copy !req
400. That's how you do it.Copy !req
401. Oh, my God!Copy !req
402. All right, stop making that
burger right now, Junior!Copy !req
403. Henry wants the tuna melt!Copy !req
404. Isn't that right,
Henry?
No, Pop.Copy !req
405. Henry wants the Baby You
Can Chive My Car BurgerCopy !req
406. he never had a chance to
taste because of you!Copy !req
407. Look, uh, I don't want
to cause any trouble here.Copy !req
408. I'll just eat whatever
you put in front of me.Copy !req
409. No problem, easy breezy.Copy !req
410. You're getting
the tuna melt!Copy !req
411. You're getting
the burger, Henry!Copy !req
412. Not if I make
the tuna melt first!Copy !req
413. Good luck!Copy !req
414. Hey, don't
box me out.Copy !req
415. Hey, if you're
having a hard timeCopy !req
416. getting to the grill,
it's not my problem.Copy !req
417. And... hug.Copy !req
418. No? Okay.Copy !req
419. Dad will never walk again.
By choice.Copy !req
420. Nor will he love
either of you again.Copy !req
421. By choice.Copy !req
422. Guys?
Did you hear my trash talking?Copy !req
423. You can't
hurt me, Tina.Copy !req
424. At this point,
I'm more bean than Gene.Copy !req
425. Nobody talk!Copy !req
426. Nobody talk.Copy !req
427. I just need to get
one more on here and...Copy !req
428. I win. I win. I win!Copy !req
429. Oh, you might have won
if I was done, but I'm not.Copy !req
430. What could be better-y
than a batteryCopy !req
431. taped to the back of the chair?Copy !req
432. Game. Set. Match.Copy !req
433. No! No! No!Copy !req
434. Uh-oh.
Hope you're happy, Tina.Copy !req
435. Now Dad doesn't get
a Christmas present.Copy !req
436. Looks like Dad just won a bean
bath with a little pee in it!Copy !req
437. Oh, that's something.Copy !req
438. This'll make Dad's skinCopy !req
439. look 40 again...Copy !req
440. No! I spilled my beans!Copy !req
441. I guess the Mistle-Tonys
were a bust.Copy !req
442. Tina, new game.Copy !req
443. You have ten seconds
to find a gift for Dad. Go!Copy !req
444. Um... we could give him
this snow globe?Copy !req
445. It says,
"Oh, snow, you didn't."Copy !req
446. Attagirl. Wrap it up,
make it look pretty.Copy !req
447. I'd give you this big,
beautiful bow,Copy !req
448. but then what would I wear?Copy !req
449. I threw
away your garnish!Copy !req
450. Damn it!Copy !req
451. Order up!
Order up!Copy !req
452. Lin, take this
to Henry!Copy !req
453. No, Linda.
Take this to Henry!Copy !req
454. I'm not taking anything anywhereCopy !req
455. until you two make peace!Copy !req
456. You know what you need?Copy !req
457. Come on, people! Sing!Copy !req
458. We can bring
these guys back together!Copy !req
459. Yeah! ♪ Peace ♪ Yeah, yeah...Copy !req
460. Fine, I'll take it
to Henry myself!Copy !req
461. Then I will, too!Copy !req
462. Get your foot
out of my...
Ow!Copy !req
463. Come on, it's Christmas!
Here you go, Henry. The usual.Copy !req
464. Here you go, Henry. The Baby
You Can Chive My Car Burger.Copy !req
465. Uh, they both look... good?Copy !req
466. You son of a bitch.
Take a bite.Copy !req
467. Eat the tuna melt,
Henry.Copy !req
468. Could I just give the burger,
um, a sniff?Copy !req
469. Henry...
It's okay to smell.Copy !req
470. Oy gevalt.Copy !req
471. Henry...
Smells good, right?Copy !req
472. Uh, maybe-maybe just
a... a quick lick?Copy !req
473. No, not a lick.
Don't do it.Copy !req
474. Don't lick.Copy !req
475. Come on.
Get it allCopy !req
476. up in there, Henry.
Don't do it, Henry.Copy !req
477. You know what? Maybe I won't.Copy !req
478. I knew you
wouldn't do it, Henry.Copy !req
479. Oh, my God, I have to!Copy !req
480. Henry!
Oh...Copy !req
481. What? I'm not chewing.Copy !req
482. I'm just holding it
in my mouth for a second.Copy !req
483. Ha! You see
that, Pop?Copy !req
484. I'm sorry. Oh... Oh, no.Copy !req
485. I'm swallowing.Copy !req
486. Oh, it's so good.Copy !req
487. I'm having another bite.Copy !req
488. No!Copy !req
489. I win!Copy !req
490. I win! Ha!Copy !req
491. How do you like my
joke burgers now, Pop?Copy !req
492. Okay, Junior.Copy !req
493. You win.Copy !req
494. Thanks for coming
to my party.Copy !req
495. Hey, everybody!
I'm covered in bean juice!Copy !req
496. How about I run around
and you all try to catch meCopy !req
497. like a pig at the state fair?Copy !req
498. Here I go.Copy !req
499. Try to catch me.Copy !req
500. No one's trying very hard!Copy !req
501. Good night, everyone.Copy !req
502. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
503. Well, he's out.Copy !req
504. More bean boy
for the rest of you.Copy !req
505. What?Copy !req
506. Why is everybody
looking at me?Copy !req
507. Bobby, easy, easy.Copy !req
508. Dad. Dad.
Yes, Louise?Copy !req
509. Everyone looks like
they're mad at you.Copy !req
510. Thank you.Copy !req
511. Maybe this will
cheer you up, Dad.Copy !req
512. Thanks, Tina.Copy !req
513. Open it. There's
something inside.Copy !req
514. A snow globe.Copy !req
515. Yes.
Great. Th...Copy !req
516. Wait, where'd
you get this?
Europe.Copy !req
517. No, the newspaper.
Where-where did you find this?Copy !req
518. From Pop Pop's basement.Copy !req
519. It was in his desk.
Look at him.Copy !req
520. He's like a baby,Copy !req
521. playing with the
wrapping paper. Aw.Copy !req
522. Bobby, what is it?Copy !req
523. It's the first review
of Bob's Burgers.Copy !req
524. My dad saved it.Copy !req
525. Oh, my God.
That's beautiful.Copy !req
526. Read it.
I don't think so.Copy !req
527. Read it.Copy !req
528. I don't want to read it.
Read it!Copy !req
529. "Unique burgers.
Good prices.Copy !req
530. "Service leaves something
to be desired.Copy !req
531. But worth the trip."Copy !req
532. Hmm. Not great.Copy !req
533. I mean, it's okay.Copy !req
534. Oh, Bobby.Copy !req
535. He does love you,Copy !req
536. and you drove him out
of his own restaurant.Copy !req
537. On Christmas.Copy !req
538. Oh, my God.Copy !req
539. What did I do?
I just told you.Copy !req
540. Oh. Right.
Drive your father
out on Christmas...Copy !req
541. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I heard.Copy !req
542. Oh, my God,
that's so sad.Copy !req
543. So much for
Christmas magic.Copy !req
544. Put this onCopy !req
545. and come with me.Copy !req
546. Wait, what?Copy !req
547. Your dad's in my bar.Copy !req
548. We're gonna go see him.Copy !req
549. Go, Bobby. Go.
I-I...Copy !req
550. The kids and I will take
care of the diner. Go.Copy !req
551. Yeah, Dad.
When a mysteriousCopy !req
552. cowboy/Santa says,
"Come with me,"Copy !req
553. you climb on that horse
and ride.Copy !req
554. Also, free hat!Copy !req
555. I thought this was a disco.Copy !req
556. That's Wednesdays.Copy !req
557. Thursdays, we
watch Scandal.Copy !req
558. Tonight's Country Western
line dancing.Copy !req
559. And tomorrow's Christmas—
or did you forget?Copy !req
560. I know. I know.Copy !req
561. Things got
a little heated.Copy !req
562. There he is.
Go talk to him.Copy !req
563. With the hat.Copy !req
564. Okay.Copy !req
565. Just leave me alone.Copy !req
566. Pop, come back
to the diner.Copy !req
567. I'm busy.Copy !req
568. You're just
sitting here.Copy !req
569. No, I'm not.
I'm... I'm dancing.Copy !req
570. Da... dancing?Copy !req
571. You don't dance!Copy !req
572. Whoa.Copy !req
573. Get out there,
Bob Junior.Copy !req
574. Pop, will you please
just come and talk to me?Copy !req
575. If you want to
talk to your dad,Copy !req
576. you're gonna have
to boot scoot to him.Copy !req
577. What does that mean?
What's "boot scoot"?Copy !req
578. It looks like
this. Hey-a!Copy !req
579. Bend... bend
your knees.Copy !req
580. I'm-I'm... ow, okay.Copy !req
581. Now shake
that pudding.Copy !req
582. What do you want?Copy !req
583. I just want to
talk to you.Copy !req
584. You're doing it wrong.
Those aren't the steps.Copy !req
585. Oh, my God. Really?Copy !req
586. This is why I didn't
want to work with you.Copy !req
587. You have to control
everything I do.Copy !req
588. My cooking,
my dancing...Copy !req
589. Not everyone wants to dance
exactly the same way.Copy !req
590. Okay, bad example.Copy !req
591. You guys are
really good at this.Copy !req
592. I'm here every
Friday night.Copy !req
593. And Thursdays.Copy !req
594. I love Scandal.Copy !req
595. Pop, are you...?
I'm not gay, Bob.Copy !req
596. These guys are
my friends.Copy !req
597. They eat at my diner;
I come here and dance.Copy !req
598. Oh!Copy !req
599. Ah, damn,
missed it again.Copy !req
600. Why'd you come
over here, Bob?Copy !req
601. To miss steps?Copy !req
602. Look, Pops,
you are who you are,Copy !req
603. and I realize now
that I should just accept that.Copy !req
604. That's right.
Be yourself, sister.Copy !req
605. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.Copy !req
606. Not for leaving.Copy !req
607. And not for starting
my own restaurant.Copy !req
608. But just for how
I handled things onCopy !req
609. the day we broke up.Copy !req
610. I know it was your way
of showing love, it's just...Copy !req
611. I never felt like
you were supportive of me.Copy !req
612. At least, that's what I thoughtCopy !req
613. until I found
the review you saved.Copy !req
614. You found that, huh?
The kids did.Copy !req
615. Not a good idea to let my kids
into your basement, by the way.Copy !req
616. Gene took a bean bath.Copy !req
617. Well, at least somebody's
having a good time tonight.Copy !req
618. Dad, I'm sorry.
You didn't deserveCopy !req
619. to be embarrassed
in front of your customers.Copy !req
620. I did it back then
and I did it again tonight.Copy !req
621. Nope. Wrong time.Copy !req
622. Listen, I know
why you had to go.Copy !req
623. I can be...
not great to work with.Copy !req
624. It was tough without
your mom around.Copy !req
625. You did great
on your own.Copy !req
626. She'd be very proud.
You really think...Copy !req
627. Okay, I'm the only guy
facing this way now.Copy !req
628. So I'll turn around.Copy !req
629. Here we go.Copy !req
630. Gene, take this chicken
noodle soup to table five.Copy !req
631. On it!Copy !req
632. Tina, clean up the spill
by the bathroom.Copy !req
633. Bathroom spill
is my middle name.Copy !req
634. Attagirl.
Louise, grab some napkinsCopy !req
635. for the kid at the counter.Copy !req
636. That kid's a mess!
I know.Copy !req
637. Look at your family in there.Copy !req
638. They really can sling hash
when they want to.Copy !req
639. They don't usually
work this hard.Copy !req
640. You got happy kids.Copy !req
641. Weird, happy kids.
That's nice.Copy !req
642. You're a good
dad, Junior.
Thanks, Pops.Copy !req
643. Let's go back
inside, huh?Copy !req
644. Yeah, let's...Copy !req
645. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
646. Kids, let us in.Copy !req
647. Ha ha, no!
Open it!Copy !req
648. This is our
restaurant now!Copy !req
649. It's called
Chez Restauranto,Copy !req
650. and we're
Brazilian barbecue!Copy !req
651. Here.Copy !req
652. Aw, come on, Tina!
Sorry.Copy !req
653. All right! Christmas magic!Copy !req
654. My Bobbies are back!Copy !req
655. Yay!Copy !req
656. Merry Christmas, everyone.Copy !req
657. Merry Christmas, Pop Pop!Copy !req
658. That can't
be good.Copy !req