1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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2. and the one son
who had no choice...
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3. but to keep them all together.
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4. It's Arrested Development.
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5. Michael was meeting...
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6. Michael was meeting...
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7. with the company's accountant,
Ira Gilligan.
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8. Anyway, I have gone over this
10 different ways...
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9. and you're reporting income on an account
that... You know, it is just freezing in here.
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10. Well, the thermostat
is in my office.
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11. While it's freezing in here, it's still
hot in there. So please continue.
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12. There's basically no money where it
should be. I think I'm catching a cold.
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13. - You're not catching a cold.
- I know my body.
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14. - There's no money in the account?
- I'm sorry.
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15. - This is like the bayou in here.
- I tried to tell you that.
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16. I guess I just had
to find out for myself.
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17. Anyway, this isn't the first
discrepancy with your father's books.
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18. With this court case coming up,
I just have to warn you...
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19. if they ask me to testify,
I am not gonna lie.
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20. - No one's asking you to lie.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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21. You're asking Gilligan
not to lie?
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22. Please call me Ira.
I don't like Gilligan.
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23. Who doesn't like Gilligan?
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24. Is it cold in here?
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25. So, listen. You have been married two
weeks now. It seems to be sticking.
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26. And let's pretend
it's a good thing.
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27. I guess this makes me
your best man...
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28. and I would like to throw you
a bachelor party.
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29. Yeah, I don't think
she'd go for that.
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30. Besides, I talked to Dad. He said it was
stupid to get married in the first place.
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31. And he's right. He's right.
I've gotta get rid of her.
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32. You know, l... I said two weeks ago that
I thought it was a stupid idea.
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33. Suddenly Dad says it
and it's good advice?
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34. You know you don't have to do
everything Dad says.
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35. I don't do everything Dad says. He just
happens to be right about this.
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36. You can help me
get rid ofher though.
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37. Mom's having a cocktail party. She'll be
there. Maybe you can try to break us up.
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38. - I can't do that.
- Why not? You did it with me and Marta.
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39. You had no problem with that, guy.
You know what? Lie to her.
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40. Tell her that I'm
insensitive and unreliable.
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41. Something about how
you can never confront people.
You need someone to clean up your messes.
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42. See, that's great. And that's just
off the top of your head.
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43. Michael, Gob. I was just
in the neighborhood.
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44. Good Lord.
It is sweltering in here.
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45. As you may
or may not know...
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46. Lindsay and I have hit
a bit of a rough patch.
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47. - Really? When did that start?
- Well...
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48. I don't want
to blame it all on 9/11...
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49. but it certainly
didn't help.
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50. But anyway, I need your help.
If you could possibly...
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51. Could we go back
to your office, please?
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52. I just want to be
a family again.
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53. I guess what I'm saying is
I want to reunite the band.
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54. - Oh, no.
- "Oh, no'was right.
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55. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk
music group with Lindsay and Maeby...
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56. called Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural
Good-Time Family-Band Solution.
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57. The group was underwritten by
the Natural Life Food Company...
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58. a division of Chem Grow, an Allyn-Crane
acquisition, and part of the Squimm Group.
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59. Their motto was simple.
"We keep you alive."
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60. Zanotab may cause
dry mouth, hair loss...
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61. an overly alert feeling, and in some
cases may diminish your sex drive.
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62. Well, there's a wellness
convention in town...
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63. and I thought maybe you could talk
Lindsay into joining me up onstage.
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64. - Yeah. Why don't you ask her?
- Oh, I would, but she just
doesn't take me seriously.
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65. Michael tried to find the
money the accountant said was missing.
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66. I don't know.
I probably stole it.
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67. I mean, if he says
it's missing, it is.
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68. Unless he stole it.
Hey, maybe he stole it.
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69. - He's the one that said it's missing.
- Yeah, I probably stole it.
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70. Well, we need to find it
before Ira is asked to testify.
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71. - I thought we were talking
about Gilligan. Who's Ira?
- Ira Gilligan.
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72. Ira's his first name.
He actually hates to be called Gilligan.
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73. Well,
he never told me that.
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74. Gilligan has promised me that all
this money will be saved in I.R.A.s.
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75. - It's Ira, sir.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Gilligan.
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76. Will be saved in "Iras."
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77. - What the hell is this, Gilligan?
- It's Ira, sir.
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78. - Please call me...
- Gilligan!
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79. Michael, if he testifies,
I am screwed.
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80. Here's what you do. You take him
out for some fishing or something.
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81. - Why would I take him fishing?
- Fun. Guy fun.
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82. - Let's get him on our side.
- No. Look. I'm not taking him fishing.
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83. Oh, that's right.
You hated fishing.
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84. - No, I didn't.
- No, I'll get Gob. Yeah. He liked it.
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85. - Hang on a second.
- He's the one who's fun.
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86. I liked fishing.
Where are you going? I'm fun.
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87. It's just that...
Listen.
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88. The way to fix this Ira thing
is not to buy him off. All right?
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89. - It's to find out where the money went.
- You're no fun.
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90. Yeah.
I'm plenty fun.
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91. That night
the family gathered at Lucille's...
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92. to welcome Gob's wife.
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93. I have always wanted a daughter.
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94. And a blonde.
What fun.
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95. - Where did Annyong get thatjuice box?
- Annyong.
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96. Those are for his soccer team. No sugar
for you. You just get more awful.
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97. Hey, Adopted Brother.
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98. Do you think I could have a hit
of that juice box? That...
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99. Michael tried
to convince Lindsay to rejoin...
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100. Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural
Good-Time Family-Band Solution.
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101. Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural Good-Time
Family-Band Solution was a nightmare for me.
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102. Hmm. Well, he said it was
the most fun your family's ever had.
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103. Yeah, well, I was wacked
on Zanotab the entire time.
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104. I thought Zanotab was supposed
to make everything a little bit better.
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105. For 15 minutes. Then it burns when
you pee, and your marriage goes to hell.
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106. It is not a good supplement. Besides,
Maeby's not gonna want to do it.
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107. I wanna do it!
Are you kidding me?
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108. Those were
our best times ever.
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109. This party just keeps
gettin' better.
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110. So, uh... You know, if you want me
on wood block, I can keep perfect time.
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111. Some call me
the human metronome.
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112. You notice how I'm always on time?
I'm never late for things.
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113. Yeah, but I think punctuality
is slightly different from rhythm.
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114. No, it's not. It's the exact same thing.
It's knowing how long things take.
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115. Look. I'm just doing this because if my
parents split up, it's a lot more work for me.
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116. I know.
They split up once in Boston.
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117. When they get along,
I get tons more alone time.
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118. When they don't, guess who
they start spending all their time with.
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119. - Me.
- We've been talking here
for 28 seconds. Just so you know.
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120. Excuse me.
Dr. "Funky?"
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121. - Ah, Fünke.
- Of Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural
Good-Time Family-Band Solution?
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122. - Yes!
- Oh, my... I saw you in '96.
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123. - Oh!
- You sang a song about
a supplement called Teamocil?
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124. - Teamocil.
- I mean, you just nailed me!
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125. It was like you knew every side effect
I was going through at that time.
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126. - Sadly, Teamocil has been discontinued.
- Oh.
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127. The sense of wellness
it created in relationships...
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128. was merely the first sign of
complete pituitary shutdown.
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129. - Excuse me? Are you, uh... Hi. I'm Michael.
- Hi.
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130. - I'm Gob's brother.
- Yes. He told me all about you.
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131. - You have a terrific voice.
- I smell olives!
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132. And Michael, as per Gob's request...
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133. tried to convince his wife
that Gob was unreliable.
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134. So, Gob is late. But I guess
that's who you married.
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135. He's probably out trying to do
something very important.
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136. Are you hitting on me?
Gob said that would happen.
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137. Hey, Gob. It's a good thing
you're not staying married to this girl.
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138. You've got her hating me... at least your
version of me, which is actually you.
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139. Well, I talked to Dad,
and he thinks that I should stay in it.
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140. Stay in the marriage? You're not letting Dad
lead you around by the nose again, are you?
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141. Think about it. I've got the marriage
and none of the good parts.
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142. It's like, so far it's been
all chain and no ball.
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143. - Sure.
- So, we'll have a ceremony and a bachelor party.
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144. A bachelor party?
You want one now? Come on.
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145. - You're not giving your best man
a whole lot of prep time.
- Dad can handle it.
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146. - Dad?
- Yeah. You know.
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147. He's a fun guy, and...
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148. - I'm making him my best man.
- You're making Dad your best man. That's great.
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149. I guess
being your brother...
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150. and solving all your problems for you
doesn't qualify me as your best man.
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151. Hey. If he wants to support me,
I'm not gonna tell him to go to hell.
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152. - Don't worry. You're still...
- What? Invited?
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153. No, I was gonna say you're still the guy
I want solving my problems, but, yeah...
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154. Let me talk to Dad
about that invite situation.
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155. The next day, Gob visited his father...
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156. to prepare
for his bachelor party.
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157. You know, I really think
that you're gonna like this woman.
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158. Well, she's costing me enough, but she's...
oh, she's a hell of a stripper.
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159. - No, I mean my wife.
- Oh.
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160. Well, l... I doubt that
very much.
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161. Well, I can tell you that Michael was
pretty upset that you wanted to be best man.
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162. - Don't worry about Michael.
- Yeah, my bachelor party's about having fun, right?
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163. No, no. Your bachelor party's about convincing
Gilligan that he's killed a stripper...
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164. getting him out of town
so he can't testify...
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165. and making sure that people think
that he took the money.
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166. - It is?
- Yeah.
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167. This accountant can do us a lot of damage.
I want him neutralized. Do you hear me?
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168. That's why I want you to use this stripper...
a narcoleptic, believe it or not.
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169. A friend of mine at the yacht club,
he used her for his bachelor party.
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170. We wanted you
to have the first piece!
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171. You put her in a darkened space,
she's out.
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172. You get him drunk.
He passes out.
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173. Then you cover the floor with corn syrup,
mixed with a little red dye.
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174. He comes to. "Eee! Blood! Aaah!"
He freaks out.
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175. Okay. But how do you know
that he's gonna leave the country?
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176. That's why I got you those honeymoon
tickets. You never thanked me for those.
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177. I'm sorry. I meant to. I was gonna...
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178. You just have to convince him
that this happened.
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179. - That he killed a stripper?
- Can you do this?
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180. Can I trust you? You're not
gonna go all Michael on me, are ya?
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181. Nobody's turning
all Michael on you.
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182. But when you get out, then we're gonna
have a real party. Right, Dad?
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183. Are you kidding?
When I get out of here...
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184. you're gonna throw me the biggest
party this town's ever seen.
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185. All right?
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186. Back at the model home...
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187. Stop!
It is not Zanotab.
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188. Well, maybe if I was allowed to have
a Zanotab, I'd remember it's Euphorazine.
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189. No. We are not going to do that again.
This family is not about to start using.
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190. We are pushers,
not takers.
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191. Okay. Once more, from the bridge.
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192. What is that noise?
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193. We don't need
the wood block.
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194. No, I just thought
I would join in on the fun.
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195. I mean, you guys are always talking about,
you know, family and loving and...
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196. having good times
in the circle...
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197. You know what?
This isn't working.
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198. Maybe I'm just gonna go off
and rehearse with Maeby alone.
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199. Oh, fine. Then I'll rehearse
with Maeby after dinner.
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200. No! This is wholesome,
family fun, okay?
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201. Let's take it from loose stool!
One, two and a...
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202. What is that in your mouth?
Is that a Euphorazine?
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203. Lindsay, spit it out!
That's not real happiness!
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204. - Well, it's better than what we've got now.
- Lindsay, spit it out!
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205. And Michael arrived home...
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206. determined to prove
that he was, in fact, fun.
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207. I just booked us
a little fishing trip.
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208. - But why? What did I do?
- Hmm? No, no. This is a fun thing!
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209. Okay? Something I've always
wanted to do with you.
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210. Everybody's always having fun
around here. Why can't we?
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211. Already down! Get
your finger out of my throat! It's down!
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212. - Anyway, I thought you hated fishing.
- No, it's fun. I like fun.
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213. I just hated doing it with my dad.
This is gonna be you and me. Okay?
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214. We get to stay at a hotel, get up at
4:00 a.m., slap on the old seasick patch.
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215. We're gonna get out there on the choppy ocean.
We're gonna catch ourselves a little lunch.
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216. Oh, we get to eat it?
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217. After we gut it.
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218. Yes.
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219. While the Bluth boys
contemplated having fun...
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220. Lucille had a request
for Gob's bachelor party.
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221. - Why do I have to bring him?
- Because Buster's your brother...
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222. and I'm not gonna leave him home alone
with all this J-U-l-C-E around.
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223. I can spell, Mom.
You spelled "juice."
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224. Oh, you're so brilliant.
Let's see you find it.
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225. Besides, I'm going to Annyong's
soccer award ceremony...
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226. Annyong.
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227. And I don't need the other soccer moms
knowing how old my first batch of kids are.
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228. And I don't need the other soccer moms
knowing how old my first batch of kids are.
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229. - Yeah, I think they're gonna know
that Annyong's...
- Annyong.
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230. Would somebody please tell
this insufferable child to...
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231. God!
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232. And so, as Michael and his son...
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233. checked into the hotel,
his brothers arrived.
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234. - What are you guys doing here?
- Oh, we're having Gob's bachelor party.
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235. You're not going? Even Dad's coming...
Via satellite.
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236. Uh, no. I'm gonna go fishing with my son
here. We're gonna go have some fun.
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237. Real fun. Okay? Not everything is
strippers and booze and buckets of blood.
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238. Why do you guys
have buckets ofblood?
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239. It's not real blood.
It's corn syrup and red dye.
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240. - Juice.
- We have unlimited juice?
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241. This party is gonna be off the hook.
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242. Meanwhile, at the wellness
convention in the very same hotel...
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243. Dr. Fünke's 100% Natural Good-Time
Family-Band Solution...
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244. was preparing for their show.
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245. Here are the new
Euphorazine side effects.
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246. Ah, the solo. That is for my lovely
and talented daughter.
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247. "Delayed irritability?"
What do they mean by delayed?
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248. It means it comes later! This is ridiculous!
Why do we even have to do this?
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249. We are doing this
to keep our family together.
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250. No, I'm serious.
We're dressed like we're in the '60s.
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251. - It's the 21 st century.
We should be dressing like it's the '80s.
- Lindsay...
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252. I'm tired of trying to find happiness
through lies and self-medicating.
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253. If you need me,
I'll be at the bar.
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254. Well, fine, Lindsay.
That's fine.
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255. - Maeby and I'll just do...
- Yeah. I'm out too.
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256. You think you can handle it alone? 'Cause
if you don't perform, we don't validate.
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257. Back in Michael's hotel room...
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258. the guys were settling down
for the night...
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259. so as to be ready
for their 4:00 a.m. wake-up call.
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260. It sure sounds like they're
having fun out there by the pool.
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261. Oh, they think they're having fun,
Son, but it's not lasting fun.
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262. It is fleeting fun,
like a bachelor party.
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263. What we got here is lasting fun.
Okay? You think about that.
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264. - Good night, Son.
- Good night, Dad.
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265. - Marco!
- Polo!
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266. Marco!
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267. - Polo!
- Marco!
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268. - Hey, Dad?
- Polo!
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269. - Dad, are you still awake?
- Still awake.
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270. It's just, um...
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271. I mean, this is really fun
and everything...
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272. This isn't even the fun part.
Tomorrow...
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273. Yeah.
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274. The problem I'm having
is, uh...
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275. - I have a pretty finely tuned internal clock...
- Mm-hmm.
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276. which is why I'm actually
such a good natural percussionist.
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277. And, um...
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278. I'm just worried that I'm not
gonna be able to fall asleep...
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279. for another two hours
and 45 minutes.
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280. So, I was thinking maybe I would
go down and check out Maeby's band...
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281. and you could go see if Gob's
bachelor party has started.
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282. Shh, shh, shh.
I'm right where I want to be.
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283. Gob had his chance
to have me there...
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284. but if you're sure
that you can't sleep.
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285. It's just... I don't know when I'm gonna
get another chance like this...
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286. - you know, to be there for family.
- Right.
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287. - I'd hate to miss it, because I was too proud.
- Right.
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288. Wait a minute. "Too proud?" What does
this have to do with "too proud?"
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289. Actually, that part
was kinda just for you.
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290. I was just worried the whole thing wasn't gonna
land unless I included the pride part.
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291. Upstairs, Gob was
preparing to set up the accountant...
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292. under his father's
helpful gaze.
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293. - Who called the cops?
- And with the aid of some helpful gays.
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294. You told me to hire people
to look like my friends.
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295. They're Hot Cops.
They're entertainers.
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296. Although I specifically asked them
not to come dressed as cops.
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297. You better change now. He's gonna be
here soon. Butch, guys. I want it butch.
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298. Hey, uh,
you got the blood. Right?
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299. Yeah, I got two buckets full right... Hey!
What the hell happened to the blood?
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300. - Hey, Brother.
- Whoa!
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301. - Somebody put on his lipstick in the car.
- I love juice!
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302. This next number is the only ballad
that the Solution ever attempted.
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303. And I must say
I feel a bit like a Mary...
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304. without a Peter and a Paul,
but I suppose it's worth a shot.
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305. "Teamocil is
no longer available.
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306. Please try either Grouphug, Bondat
or consult your own Wellness Guide."
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307. Teamocil!
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308. You're out of the band.
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309. And, back at the bachelor party...
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310. Gilligan had arrived,
and the con was in full swing.
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311. It's Ira,
and I'm fine.
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312. Come on! Have a drink!
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313. There's some stuff coming up you
might not be able to handle sober.
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314. Speaking of which,
where's Buster?
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315. In fact, Buster had finished thejuice...
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316. and was desperately looking
for his next sugar fix...
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317. when he discovered the cake
in the next room.
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318. Unfortunately, he was unaware of the
narcoleptic stripper confined within it.
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319. Yeah, I better go in the
back room and have a look for him.
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320. - Ira, have a drink!
- I'm not thirsty. I want some food.
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321. Ooh.
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322. Okay. Keep it together.
Don't go all Michael here.
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323. Knock, knock!
Where's the married bachelor?
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324. Michael, I thought you weren't coming.
I thought he wasn't coming!
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325. Well, I wasn't going to, but he's my
brother, and I'm here to support him...
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326. like all these, uh,
hot men and Ira.
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327. Well, you're not gonna stay.
I mean, this isn't your kind of scene.
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328. Dad, please, stay out of it, all right? I'm
here for Gob. Now, where are the strippers?
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329. - Well, l...
- Mmm! You got a little back room going, huh?
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330. - Well, l...
- Mmm! You got a little back room going, huh?
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331. - Huh? Huh?
- Well...
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332. just relax. I'm as fun as anybody.
I can handle a back room.
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333. - I'm calling the cops.
- No!
- We're changing again, guys!
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334. - No. No cops.
- Well, what is this?
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335. She died.
She's dead.
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336. - It was Gilligan!
- What?
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337. Gilligan killed
the skipper... stripper.
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338. I didn't kill
any stripper.
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339. - You're drunk. You don't remember.
- You're pulling the rip cord!
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340. Ira, take my honeymoon tickets.
Get out of the country. Save yourself.
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341. - I'm not drunk. Bix made me the designated driver.
- Bix!
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342. Just then, the stripper woke up...
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343. saw Buster with what appeared
to be blood around his mouth...
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344. - and thought she had killed him for groping her.
- Not again.
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345. You were setting me up.
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346. You're trying to get me
to leave the country.
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347. Well, the hell with you, sir.
Bix, we're leaving.
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348. I'm testifying.
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349. Yeah, the party's over. That's it.
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350. You were trying
to set Ira up?
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351. Oh, Gob, Gob.
Come on. Is this true?
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352. Oh, wait a minute.
It wasn't your idea, Gob.
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353. - It was your idea. Wasn't it, Dad?
- It wa...
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354. - Huh?
- Even if it was my idea, which it wasn't...
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355. Gob screwed it up,
which he did and always does.
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356. - You don't have to take that.
- What the hell am I supposed to do?
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357. Here.
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358. - Oh, no. No, no. Don't you dare, mister.
- Do it. Do it.
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359. Hey, Gob! I am your best man.
I am your fath...
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360. What does it matter?
I screwed it up anyway. A complete failure.
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361. Can't even fake the death
of a stripper.
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362. Oh, come on.
That's not a bad thing.
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363. - It doesn't make you a failure. Dad's the failure.
- Really?
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364. When he was my age, he ran
an entire company, had kids.
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365. The company was corrupt.
Look what he's trying to do to us.
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366. I'll tell you something else.
You might not be a father...
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367. but you are my brother.
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368. I might be a father.
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369. Why don't you start trusting
yourself. Okay? Not Dad.
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370. You're a much better man
than he is.
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371. - You're a better man than both of us.
- Well.
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372. You're the best man.
You're my best man.
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373. Not if I have an actual ceremony,
'cause Dad would kill me, but...
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374. What do you say, hermano?
Help me clean up this mess?
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375. What the hell.
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376. Gob, I want out.
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377. - I'm in love with your brother.
- What?
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378. - You did it again, you son of a bitch!
- No, no! She's...
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379. In-law. Tobias.
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380. Sorry. I should have
finished that thought.
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381. On the next Arrested Development.
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382. Oh, my god.
I killed Michael.
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383. Yeah, but on the plus side,
you got punched in the face.
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384. Hey, Brother.
Hey, Brother.
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385. Michael solves
the mystery of the missing money.
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386. Ira was signatory to all these accounts?
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387. - Get me Ira Gilligan.
- And Gilligan...
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388. fulfills his destiny.
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389. Let it ring.
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