1. Sting!Copy !req
2. Sting, open up! It's Bieber!Copy !req
3. Sting! Come on! Sting!Copy !req
4. It's Bieber, bro! Open the door!Copy !req
5. (PANTING) Oh, fudge!Copy !req
6. You can't kill us all.Copy !req
7. We will protect the Chosen One.Copy !req
8. (GRUNTING) Uh-huh.Copy !req
9. Peace out, world.Copy !req
10. Peace out.Copy !req
11. Valentina, he was pronounced
dead 13 minutes ago.Copy !req
12. I can't believe it.Copy !req
13. Justin Bieber?Copy !req
14. No.Copy !req
15. The sixth pop star to die in the last year.Copy !req
16. And all with that look.Copy !req
17. As if they were
trying to tell us something.Copy !req
18. That look.Copy !req
19. There's only one person on EarthCopy !req
20. who would know
how to interpret this look.Copy !req
21. It's a dead end, Valentina.Copy !req
22. No one has seen that man in years.Copy !req
23. Then God help us all.Copy !req
24. Shocking. Stupefying.Copy !req
25. Something out of a Hollywood
disaster movie.Copy !req
26. Just a few of the ways
New Yorkers describedCopy !req
27. what happened today
as Derek Zoolander'sCopy !req
28. Center for Kids Who Can't Read GoodCopy !req
29. and Who Wanna Learn to Do
Other Stuff Good, TooCopy !req
30. literally collapsed into the East RiverCopy !req
31. only two days after its official opening.Copy !req
32. Students and teachers were evacuated.Copy !req
33. And while Zoolander and his son,
Derek Jr., were unharmed,Copy !req
34. sadly, his wife,
Matilda Jeffries-Zoolander,Copy !req
35. has reportedly died.Copy !req
36. I just feel lucky no one
from my family was hurt!Copy !req
37. She was crushed by the book?Copy !req
38. A vigil is being held tonightCopy !req
39. for the other chisel-cheeked
lion of the modeling kingdom,Copy !req
40. Hansel, who is reported
to have sustainedCopy !req
41. permanent injury to his breathtaking faceCopy !req
42. after being trapped
beneath a burning beam.Copy !req
43. Although
authorities are still investigating,Copy !req
44. the cause of the disaster
is believed to beCopy !req
45. Zoolander's mind-boggling decisionCopy !req
46. to build the reading centerCopy !req
47. out of the actual materials
that were used to constructCopy !req
48. the original architectural model.Copy !req
49. Clothing designer
Jacob Moogberg,Copy !req
50. AKA Jacobim MugatuCopy !req
51. was sentenced today
to two consecutive life termsCopy !req
52. in a maximum security fashion prisonCopy !req
53. for his role in
the attempted assassinationCopy !req
54. of the Malaysian Prime Minister.Copy !req
55. His co-conspirator, modeling agentCopy !req
56. Maury Ballstein, turned state's witness...Copy !req
57. I'll give you anything
you want on that fakakta fink.Copy !req
58. in exchange for relocation in the
Witness Protection Program.Copy !req
59. Back in the news tonight,
former model, negligent builder,Copy !req
60. now unfit parent, Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
61. This footage was taken by a neighborCopy !req
62. across from Zoolander's SoHo loft.Copy !req
63. D.J., how did Mommy make it soft?Copy !req
64. The Child Protection AgencyCopy !req
65. removed Zoolander's son, Derek Jr.Copy !req
66. late last night in a daring midnight raidCopy !req
67. placing him in the custody of the state.Copy !req
68. Which is why it pains me to sayCopy !req
69. that effective immediately,
I will retire from modelingCopy !req
70. and live alone as a hermit crab.Copy !req
71. I will now be anonymous
and known only as...Copy !req
72. Eric...Copy !req
73. Toolander.Copy !req
74. And finally tonight,Copy !req
75. here's something to make you feel old.Copy !req
76. Incredible as it may sound,Copy !req
77. of the over 3.7 million
high school graduates this yearCopy !req
78. less than 2% could tell you
what a fax machine is,Copy !req
79. name a Caucasian President,Copy !req
80. or know who Derek Zoolander was.Copy !req
81. (ECHOING) Was... Was... Was...Copy !req
82. Go away.Copy !req
83. Derek! Open up, it's me.Copy !req
84. I'm sorry, traveler,
you must have lost your way.Copy !req
85. No one lives here by that name.Copy !req
86. Right. Sorry. I mean, Eric.Copy !req
87. I've got your mail.Copy !req
88. Billy Zane. It's been years.Copy !req
89. Where's my regular mailperson, Ingvar?Copy !req
90. He couldn't make it.Copy !req
91. I was in the neighborhood,
I thought I'd stop by.Copy !req
92. Got your Netflix.Copy !req
93. Whoa, Jack Ryan...Copy !req
94. and Jack Reacher.Copy !req
95. Tonight's gonna be a total Jack-off.Copy !req
96. You have something else here.Copy !req
97. What is it?Copy !req
98. Open it.Copy !req
99. Gryootings, Derek Zoolownder.Copy !req
100. Are you a Boxtroll?Copy !req
101. That's Alexanya Atoz,Copy !req
102. owner of the largest fashion
empire in the world.Copy !req
103. Because you are one of the
world's true fishion icons,Copy !req
104. I have personal selected you
to come to Rome...Copy !req
105. The Eturnanal Cyootee...Copy !req
106. To muddel my nyouest colleeauctionCopy !req
107. by my hoottest now designer...Copy !req
108. Doon Atari.Copy !req
109. Who?Copy !req
110. Don Atari.Copy !req
111. He's "it" in fashion right now.Copy !req
112. People would die to be in his show.Copy !req
113. (WHISPERS) I can't.Copy !req
114. I'm a hermit crab now.Copy !req
115. Gryootings, Derek Zoolownder.Copy !req
116. I already told you!Copy !req
117. It's like you're not even listening to me!Copy !req
118. Derek, uh...Copy !req
119. Eric.Copy !req
120. Maybe it's time to engage
with the world again.Copy !req
121. Think about it, man.
This could be a sign.Copy !req
122. And what if it's a stop sign, Billy?Copy !req
123. I used to be a successful
model/fashion icon.Copy !req
124. Now, I'm just a model/failure.Copy !req
125. Slash-guy who is still a model/father.Copy !req
126. Slash-guy who killed his wifeCopy !req
127. using cheap building materials
that collapsed on her.Copy !req
128. Slash-guy who has got
to stop beating himself up about that!Copy !req
129. Slash-guy who couldn't
make spaghetti softCopy !req
130. so they took away his son,Copy !req
131. so-slash-now he's alone
and hiding from the world.Copy !req
132. Slash.Copy !req
133. Slash-have you ever even tried
to get your son back?Copy !req
134. You can do that?Copy !req
135. Yeah. You'd hire a litigator,Copy !req
136. he files the appropriate paperwork...Copy !req
137. But I don't even know where he is.Copy !req
138. First things first.Copy !req
139. If you take this job
that Alexanya's offering you,Copy !req
140. you could prove to Child ServicesCopy !req
141. that you're a productive
member of society again.Copy !req
142. Go to Rome.Copy !req
143. Find yourself.Copy !req
144. Become the father you were meant to beCopy !req
145. and get your boy back.Copy !req
146. Safe journey, my friend!Copy !req
147. Thanks, Billy!Copy !req
148. What have you got?Copy !req
149. (SIGHS) Ball and chain not happy.Copy !req
150. Sorry I'm late!Copy !req
151. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
152. I was finishing up ShavasanaCopy !req
153. and this sandstorm
kicked up out of nowhere.Copy !req
154. I'm okay, though.Copy !req
155. Ah, Natalka, you look beautiful.Copy !req
156. (SCOFFS) Really?Copy !req
157. Yes, really.Copy !req
158. Dinner is ruined!Copy !req
159. Guys, I told you
not to wait for me, didn't I?Copy !req
160. Remember, we talked about this.Copy !req
161. Can't we just take it slow?Copy !req
162. When I met you guys two years ago,Copy !req
163. it was the best orgy of my life.Copy !req
164. Let's get back to that feeling.Copy !req
165. It's there.Copy !req
166. Hansel.Copy !req
167. Every relationship has to evolve.Copy !req
168. And somehow, you've managed
to stay the same.Copy !req
169. But you're gonna
have to change, my man.Copy !req
170. 'Cause change, she is a-comin'.Copy !req
171. What?Copy !req
172. Natalka.Copy !req
173. All of you?Copy !req
174. How is this even possible?Copy !req
175. We thought you'd be happy.Copy !req
176. (STUTTERING) Well, I am happy.Copy !req
177. That, uh...Copy !req
178. It's just a lot to process,
and that's what I'm doing.Copy !req
179. To be honest,Copy !req
180. I've never seen myself
in this role, you know, as a...Copy !req
181. You mean a father?Copy !req
182. Well... Uh... I...Copy !req
183. Let me... I want to check on...Copy !req
184. On the camel here!Copy !req
185. Who am I?Copy !req
186. Who am I?Copy !req
187. Hey, Hansel!Copy !req
188. Billy Zane?Copy !req
189. Got your Netflix.Copy !req
190. And this.Copy !req
191. Thanks very much.
No, it's my bag.Copy !req
192. Excuse me, I think that's...Copy !req
193. No, trust me, this is my bag.Copy !req
194. - Just look at the ticket right here.
- Hansel.Copy !req
195. Never heard of him, honcho.Copy !req
196. Look right here at the ticket
and you can see that...Copy !req
197. Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
198. Hi. It's been a long time.Copy !req
199. Yeah. Not long enough.Copy !req
200. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I think I should peace.Copy !req
201. Wait a minute!Copy !req
202. We haven't seen each other since...Copy !req
203. Since the building you designedCopy !req
204. fell on my face and ruined my career?Copy !req
205. Yeah, it's been a while.Copy !req
206. It was an accident. I didn't mean to...Copy !req
207. You didn't mean to build
the support beams out of Popsicle sticksCopy !req
208. and highly-flammable rubber cement?Copy !req
209. That was just a little accident?Copy !req
210. Yeah.Copy !req
211. This is it. Forever.Copy !req
212. Because I promise you,Copy !req
213. this is the last time
we will ever see each other.Copy !req
214. Right here, this moment.Copy !req
215. Good-bye forever.Copy !req
216. Works for me.Copy !req
217. Hope you're not an epiplectic,Copy !req
218. because we're about to get blinded.Copy !req
219. Yep. Here we go.Copy !req
220. Susan Boyle, right here!Copy !req
221. Take a picture of that!Copy !req
222. Vultures!Copy !req
223. I guess with my beard
and your disgusting face,Copy !req
224. they don't know who we are.Copy !req
225. Derek! Hansel!Copy !req
226. Hey, boys. I'm Vip.Copy !req
227. - Vip?
- Yeah.Copy !req
228. I'm in charge of social media
for Don Atari.Copy !req
229. I've been working for him since I was 10.Copy !req
230. How old are you now?Copy !req
231. Eleven.Copy !req
232. Should we go to the hotel?Copy !req
233. Pretty strange, you and I
both getting called backCopy !req
234. to the big stage like this.Copy !req
235. A gig's a gig.
I'm just doing this to get my son back.Copy !req
236. Explain how doing a fashion show's
gonna accomplish that.Copy !req
237. Simple. Child Services hears
I'm working again,Copy !req
238. KKK, a responsible parent,Copy !req
239. and they give me my son back.Copy !req
240. (SCOFFS) Responsible parent?Copy !req
241. What? You don't think I could be one?Copy !req
242. No, it just brings up
some junk from the past.Copy !req
243. I didn't have a father.Copy !req
244. It's kind of my big issue right now.Copy !req
245. - You didn't have a father?
- Nah.Copy !req
246. All my mom ever told me
was my dad was a beat cop.Copy !req
247. (CHUCKLES) Always on the road.Copy !req
248. The road away from little Hansel.Copy !req
249. Valentina. You're going to
want to see this.Copy !req
250. Check out Mr. Disco Barry Gibb.Copy !req
251. Zoolander is in Rome?Copy !req
252. Welcome to the Palazzo D'Caca.Copy !req
253. The entire hotel is biodegradableCopy !req
254. and made from reclaimed human waste.Copy !req
255. This is the ultra-exclusive, fully-toxic,Copy !req
256. Zero-Footprint Suite.Copy !req
257. The masseuses at the spa
are all homeless.Copy !req
258. And the hotel
has complimentary farm-to-table Wi-Fi.Copy !req
259. Wait... We're rooming together?Copy !req
260. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
261. There must be some mistake.Copy !req
262. I'll call Billy Zane.Copy !req
263. Good idea.Copy !req
264. Look, tiny phone! That is so retro.Copy !req
265. I'm gonna take a picture of it
with my phone.Copy !req
266. This is Billy Zane.
I'm not here right...Copy !req
267. Well, Don Atari
is waiting for you down in the lobby.Copy !req
268. Oh, and don't drink the water
or you'll die.Copy !req
269. I just have one question.Copy !req
270. Yeah?Copy !req
271. What in the world is farm-to-table Wi-Fi?Copy !req
272. (CHUCKLES) You're asking me?Copy !req
273. Muchacho, I have no idea.Copy !req
274. - For serious?
- No!Copy !req
275. Because when Vip said that,
you had this look on your face, like,Copy !req
276. "I totally know
what farm-to-table Wi-Fi is!"Copy !req
277. I was acting cool
'cause I thought you knew.Copy !req
278. I thought you knew!Copy !req
279. No, I just didn't want Vip
to think I was uncool! (LAUGHS)Copy !req
280. I miss not knowing things with you.Copy !req
281. Yeah. Me, too.Copy !req
282. Why didn't we do this sooner?Copy !req
283. Because we've both been in hidingCopy !req
284. since the day I killed my wifeCopy !req
285. and permanently disfigured you.Copy !req
286. Oh, yeah, that's probably it.Copy !req
287. That was the day I lost the fire.Copy !req
288. The fire?Copy !req
289. The fire in my face.Copy !req
290. It's kind of my big issue right now.Copy !req
291. You still got it, D-Zone.
You're Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
292. You stopped a Chinese throwing star
in mid-air with a look.Copy !req
293. I was there.Copy !req
294. (SOFTLY) That's not me anymore.Copy !req
295. Yes, it is.Copy !req
296. Hey, flash me that beautiful look.Copy !req
297. Give me that incredible Magnum.Copy !req
298. No!Copy !req
299. Think fast. Magnum.Copy !req
300. Wait, no!Copy !req
301. Magnum! Now!Copy !req
302. - (GRUNTS)
- Oh!Copy !req
303. Come on! You got this,
but you got to focus!Copy !req
304. - Come on!
- Hansel, stop!Copy !req
305. - You got this! Yeah!
- (GROANING)Copy !req
306. Maybe we could try a wash cloth?Copy !req
307. - Tequila!
- Hansel, no!Copy !req
308. No! It's not working!Copy !req
309. (SIGHS) Ah, you're right.Copy !req
310. What happened to us?Copy !req
311. You mean me. (BREATHING HEAVILY)Copy !req
312. You still have it.Copy !req
313. No, I don't.Copy !req
314. Look at this face. It's a horror show.Copy !req
315. Come on, Hansel. It can't be that bad.Copy !req
316. It is.Copy !req
317. - Take off your mask.
- No.Copy !req
318. No way.Copy !req
319. No one's ever seen me
without this mask.Copy !req
320. (WHISPERING) And no one ever will.Copy !req
321. I think I know the real you.Copy !req
322. And it has nothing to do
with the way you look.Copy !req
323. You mean that?Copy !req
324. Of course, I do.Copy !req
325. Okay.Copy !req
326. (SCREAMS) No!Copy !req
327. It's disgusting! Put it back!Copy !req
328. I was wrong, please,
put the mask back on! It's so gross!Copy !req
329. I can't be friends with you
if you look like that! Please!Copy !req
330. (GAGS) It is so disgusting!
Please, put it back!Copy !req
331. Please, Hansel, put it back, I was wrong!Copy !req
332. No. This feels good.Copy !req
333. Could you please put the mask back onCopy !req
334. so I can concentrate on
what you're saying?Copy !req
335. No! I'm done hiding.Copy !req
336. Look, there's only one way
for us to find ourselves.Copy !req
337. Know what that is?Copy !req
338. Look inward and connect
with our authentic truth?Copy !req
339. No. I was gonna say
become the two biggest,Copy !req
340. hottest models in the world again.Copy !req
341. Okay.Copy !req
342. Okay. So what say
we get you cleaned up,Copy !req
343. shave that billy goat beard,Copy !req
344. go downstairs and show these punks
what real fashion looks like?Copy !req
345. Oh, my God. Yes, dude!Copy !req
346. Yes! You guys look so lame.
I love it, dude.Copy !req
347. You ninjas dressed up
all old-school just to meet me.Copy !req
348. So Jedi.Copy !req
349. You guys suck. Both of you guys suck.Copy !req
350. You look great. (GRUNTS)Copy !req
351. Thanks.Copy !req
352. I'm Don Atari. What up?Copy !req
353. What up, Hansel?Copy !req
354. (LAUGHS) Yeah. That's sick.Copy !req
355. Wait a minute. "I'll call Billy...".Copy !req
356. I just said that!Copy !req
357. I know. Like, 15 minutes ago, right?Copy !req
358. Vip told me, so I made these retro shirtsCopy !req
359. with your old catchphrase on it.Copy !req
360. Cool.Copy !req
361. Hey, let me introduce
my collective, dude.Copy !req
362. They're all losers, I hate these guys.Copy !req
363. We got TRS-80, KITT...Copy !req
364. Rubik, my man Gleek.Copy !req
365. Eh, this guy gives
the best shitty tattoos ever.Copy !req
366. He's a genius. His tattoos are so stupid.Copy !req
367. He's the one who did
my Colonel Sanders.Copy !req
368. Look at that, pretty epic, huh?Copy !req
369. It sucks, I don't like it, dude.Copy !req
370. Why would I do this to myself?
I never wanted this on me.Copy !req
371. I love it, dude. I got it
when my grandfather died.Copy !req
372. That's really cool.Copy !req
373. So, uh, what's the deal with the show?Copy !req
374. Yeah, where do you want us
to fire up this chainsaw?Copy !req
375. Colosseum? Trevi Fountain?
Spanish Steps?Copy !req
376. What? No way, dude.Copy !req
377. Those places are gnar-gnar bo-bo.Copy !req
378. We're holding it
in an abandoned medical waste facilityCopy !req
379. on top of an industrial trash heap.Copy !req
380. It's totally toxic, but super chill.Copy !req
381. Cool! Sounds dope.Copy !req
382. Yeah, fresh.Copy !req
383. Oh, what?Copy !req
384. You guys are like,
"Sounds dope!"Fresh!"Copy !req
385. They're doing the voices and everything!Copy !req
386. I didn't think you guys
would do the voices. That's sick!Copy !req
387. "Sounds dope! Sounds fresh!"Copy !req
388. I don't like you guys.
It's an honor to have you.Copy !req
389. Hey, retreads!Copy !req
390. I want to introduce you all to my museCopy !req
391. and basically, like,
the biggest supermodelCopy !req
392. in the whole world right now, dude.Copy !req
393. This is All.Copy !req
394. All what?Copy !req
395. We are All.Copy !req
396. So, are you like a male model
or a female model?Copy !req
397. All is not defined by binary constructs.Copy !req
398. That's cool. I don't like labels, either.Copy !req
399. But I think he's asking,
do you have a hot dog or a bun?Copy !req
400. Do you have a wiener or vergiener?Copy !req
401. All is all to all.Copy !req
402. By the way, All just
married hermself, dude.Copy !req
403. Monomarriage is finally legal in Italy.Copy !req
404. I support that.Copy !req
405. Derek, that's pretty good, right?Copy !req
406. Uh, I'm sorry, are you not comfortableCopy !req
407. with people like All
in the workplace or something?Copy !req
408. No. Of course, I am.Copy !req
409. I mean, like, if your son or
whatever came to you and said,Copy !req
410. "Hey, Dad, I really want to marry All,"Copy !req
411. like, wouldn't you be so stoked for that?Copy !req
412. Isn't that, like, exactly what you want?Copy !req
413. Imagine All walking in, being like,Copy !req
414. "We'll finally be together."Copy !req
415. You'd be like hella stoked for that, right?Copy !req
416. Yeah.Copy !req
417. I'd be, like, totally stoked.Copy !req
418. All is done here. Atari.Copy !req
419. See you, fools.Copy !req
420. Guys, Alexanya Atoz is here!Copy !req
421. The show must begin now!Copy !req
422. Wow. Alexanya Atoz.Copy !req
423. They say she doesn't walk.
She just floats.Copy !req
424. She looks even better in person.Copy !req
425. Ah, I got those juices flowing again.Copy !req
426. Just put us out there. Let us do our thing.Copy !req
427. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
428. Chop, chop! Lay down, lay down!Copy !req
429. Get in, get in. Take off your robes.Copy !req
430. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
431. Derek! I have a really
good feeling about this.Copy !req
432. I know. I feel so alive!Copy !req
433. - Oh!
- (GROANS)Copy !req
434. "Old"?Copy !req
435. "Lamé"?Copy !req
436. - Ha! Yah!
- (BOTH GROANING)Copy !req
437. Quit it, All!Copy !req
438. Hot dog!
It's definitely a hot dog!Copy !req
439. All is done.Copy !req
440. "Prunes"?Copy !req
441. So let me tell you what I think worked.Copy !req
442. I think we got to shake off
some of the rust.Copy !req
443. I was trying out a few new looks,Copy !req
444. although it might have been hard to seeCopy !req
445. through all the dates, or,
was it, you know, prunes?Copy !req
446. Hansel, are you insane?Copy !req
447. We were a joke out there.Copy !req
448. A total laughing stick.Copy !req
449. What do you want me to say?
I mean, I know...Copy !req
450. I know we looked like idiots,Copy !req
451. but I'm trying to make the best of it!Copy !req
452. Knuck, knuck!Copy !req
453. Not now! We...Copy !req
454. You...Copy !req
455. two...Copy !req
456. vere amowzing.Copy !req
457. Deeryuck.Copy !req
458. Your fece so hundsome.Copy !req
459. Und, Hansel, so stemmy.Copy !req
460. Ridowkulously stemmy and hyot.Copy !req
461. I'm sorry. I can't understand
a word that you're saying.Copy !req
462. I want to invite you to be my gyuestsCopy !req
463. at the most elite
fishion event in housetory.Copy !req
464. The IncrediBall.Copy !req
465. Oh, what!Copy !req
466. The IncrediBall?Copy !req
467. Is that like the Met Ball?Copy !req
468. No, sveet, stupid Deryuck.Copy !req
469. For the first time
in the housetory of fishion,Copy !req
470. all of the most important
designers will come togetherCopy !req
471. under one rureff.Copy !req
472. I trust you will be dereCopy !req
473. with your hyot and stemmy feces.Copy !req
474. Dudes. Holy Shazbot! What!Copy !req
475. You're guys are gonna be
the center-pizzle of IncrediBall!Copy !req
476. What does that mean?Copy !req
477. (INDISTINCTLY)
The center-pizzle of IncrediBall.Copy !req
478. That was bananas, Johnny.Copy !req
479. I'm done.Copy !req
480. What? Derek, what are you
talking about?Copy !req
481. Did you not hear what they just said?Copy !req
482. We're going to be the center
of the IncrediBall.Copy !req
483. I can only pray that nobody from
Child Services attended the showCopy !req
484. or I'll never get little Derek back.Copy !req
485. What about all the attention?Copy !req
486. This is exactly
what we were talking about!Copy !req
487. No, Hansel. It's exactly
what you were talking about.Copy !req
488. We don't fit in anymore.Copy !req
489. Don Atari and All
and that creepy little Vip!Copy !req
490. - I don't want any part of it!
- Derek.Copy !req
491. Derek!Copy !req
492. Derek! D-rock!Copy !req
493. Derek Zoolander?Copy !req
494. Yes.Copy !req
495. Valentina Valencia.Copy !req
496. Interpol, Global Fashion Division.Copy !req
497. Fashion Police? We're clean, lady.
Go harass somebody else.Copy !req
498. Besides, I'm out of fashion.Copy !req
499. I need to talk to you.Copy !req
500. It has to do with
the death of Justin Bieber.Copy !req
501. His death is not my problem.Copy !req
502. Look, I'm trying to find out
who's killing the pop stars of the world.Copy !req
503. And I think you're my only chance.Copy !req
504. What part of "not my problem"
did you not understand?Copy !req
505. None of it.Copy !req
506. So you did understand
the part about it not being my problem,Copy !req
507. or you didn't understand any part of it
not being a part of my problem?Copy !req
508. No, no, no, Derek.Copy !req
509. I think what she's saying is that
she understands what you're saying,Copy !req
510. but she doesn't accept it.Copy !req
511. Hansel! It's all too confusing.Copy !req
512. I thought coming here
would help me find myself,Copy !req
513. and possibly my son.Copy !req
514. But this is more than I bargained for.Copy !req
515. This hermit crab
is crawling back into his planetarium.Copy !req
516. I can use the database at Interpol
to help you find your son.Copy !req
517. If you help me.Copy !req
518. I think we got to play ball with her.Copy !req
519. She's got some kind of databaseCopy !req
520. or something that she saysCopy !req
521. will help us find little Derek.Copy !req
522. And she's hot.Copy !req
523. I trust her.Copy !req
524. So, before Bieber died,
he Twitpic'd this look.Copy !req
525. He posted it to the blogspot
for his summer concert tour.Copy !req
526. He was trying to send a message.Copy !req
527. It's Blue Steel, right?Copy !req
528. What are you, a fucking idiot?Copy !req
529. Yeah, that's Blue Steel.Copy !req
530. My question is,
is Interpol one of those socialist thingsCopy !req
531. where they hire
mentally-impaired people?Copy !req
532. - I... I know.
- (SCOFFING)Copy !req
533. That's right.Copy !req
534. I heard your mother worked here.Copy !req
535. (LAUGHS) Oh, snap!Copy !req
536. My mother doesn't work here.Copy !req
537. No more games, okay?Copy !req
538. Is this Blue Steel or not?Copy !req
539. Not even close.Copy !req
540. I knew what it was the moment I saw it.Copy !req
541. It's an old one... From the 90s.Copy !req
542. It was for a body lotion campaign I did.Copy !req
543. I called it "Aqua Vitae".Copy !req
544. Young forever.Copy !req
545. Moo!Copy !req
546. Still holds up.Copy !req
547. Notice the curvature
of my right eyebrow.Copy !req
548. It's night and day from Blue Steel.Copy !req
549. He's right.Copy !req
550. When I overlay them, there are over
14,000 different facial anomalies.Copy !req
551. Wow.Copy !req
552. I had no idea there was
so much subtlety involved.Copy !req
553. Please accept my apologies, Derek.Copy !req
554. None taken.Copy !req
555. (SOFTLY) Whoa!Copy !req
556. Filippo, we need to find
everything there is on Aqua Vitae.Copy !req
557. Hold on a second, lady. A deal's a deal.Copy !req
558. Now, you help me find my son.Copy !req
559. Sure.Copy !req
560. His name is Derek Jr.?Copy !req
561. Yes.Copy !req
562. Have you ever Facebooked him?Copy !req
563. No, thanks. Matilda facebooked...Copy !req
564. and it killed her.Copy !req
565. Found him.Copy !req
566. He's at the Orphanage
Del Piccolo Cletusi.Copy !req
567. Here.Copy !req
568. In Rome.Copy !req
569. Wait. What?Copy !req
570. He's in Rome.Copy !req
571. That's convenient. So we can
hit that party at the IncrediBall.Copy !req
572. A little too convenient.Copy !req
573. Someone wants you here, guys.Copy !req
574. But who?Copy !req
575. Listen to me.Copy !req
576. (WHISPERS) Be careful
at the orphanage.Copy !req
577. And trust no one at House of Atoz.Copy !req
578. I'll see what I can find.Copy !req
579. Thanks for coming with me.
I feel kind of nervous.Copy !req
580. Hey. You're showing up. Feel good.Copy !req
581. That must be him.Copy !req
582. Where?Copy !req
583. He's even more gorgeous
than I imagined.Copy !req
584. You're a lucky man.Copy !req
585. You there. Boy.Copy !req
586. - What's his name?
- Who?Copy !req
587. Him?Copy !req
588. That's Fabrizio.Copy !req
589. Fabrizio.Copy !req
590. What a beautiful name.Copy !req
591. He used to be called Derek Jr.Copy !req
592. Really? That's strange,
'cause that's my name.Copy !req
593. Bye, mister.Copy !req
594. - Let's go.
- What?Copy !req
595. - Let's go.
- Why?Copy !req
596. I can't do this.Copy !req
597. Why not?Copy !req
598. He's fat! The fat one is Derek Jr.Copy !req
599. No, that chubby kid's name is Fatlander.Copy !req
600. I heard them call him that.Copy !req
601. Don't you get it?
He switched the "Zoo" part with "Fat".Copy !req
602. That's how he came up with "Fatlander".
Fat equals Zoo!Copy !req
603. So wait. You're saying that
just because your son is fatCopy !req
604. that makes him some sort
of terrible person?Copy !req
605. (SIGHS) Maybe you're right.Copy !req
606. No, I'm asking.Copy !req
607. Does being fat
make someone a terrible person?Copy !req
608. And I'm agreeing with you.Copy !req
609. I seriously think my fat son
might be a terrible person.Copy !req
610. And it doesn't make him
a good person, I know that.Copy !req
611. But I don't know what to say.Copy !req
612. I think you better puddle-talk it out.Copy !req
613. So I guess I have a lot to ponder.Copy !req
614. You sure do.Copy !req
615. Derek.Copy !req
616. What? Who's that?Copy !req
617. I don't know. It wasn't me.Copy !req
618. Derek.Copy !req
619. Derek.Copy !req
620. Ghost of Matilda? Is that really you?Copy !req
621. Yes, Derek.Copy !req
622. I'm sorry I haven't
been in touch, but I've just been so dead.Copy !req
623. Listen.Copy !req
624. You must love our son.Copy !req
625. He needs you.Copy !req
626. But beware of the Headmaster.Copy !req
627. What's happening to you?Copy !req
628. Love our son.Copy !req
629. - Ew!
- And beware the Headmaster.Copy !req
630. Hello.Copy !req
631. I'm the Headmaster.Copy !req
632. Derek Zoolander...Copy !req
633. I'm assuming.Copy !req
634. Because I've never met you ever.Copy !req
635. Mr. Hansel informs me
that you'd like to see your son.Copy !req
636. Easily arranged. Come.Copy !req
637. I should tell you,
your son is incredibly gifted.Copy !req
638. - (PHONE RINGS)
- Hello.Copy !req
639. If you want
to find the Spirits in the Material World,Copy !req
640. you need to talk
to the Ghost in the Machine.Copy !req
641. What? Who is this?Copy !req
642. I have a Message in a Bottle for you,Copy !req
643. so don't go to The Police.Copy !req
644. Okay, don't go to the police
'cause there's a message in a bottle.Copy !req
645. (CHUCKLES) Okay, I got it.Copy !req
646. Now go prank call someone else, idiot.Copy !req
647. Here they are now.Copy !req
648. Hey, there, sport.Copy !req
649. I hear someone's a fat little smartypants.Copy !req
650. I'll leave you to it, then.Copy !req
651. I'm gonna let you two catch upCopy !req
652. and maybe hit the spa back at the Caca.Copy !req
653. Look, I know you have
a lot of unresolved feelings,Copy !req
654. but I'm still your father.Copy !req
655. You're not my father. You weren't there.Copy !req
656. That wasn't my choice.
I was there when you were little.Copy !req
657. Most kids play catch with their father.Copy !req
658. They don't go with them
to a thong shoot.Copy !req
659. There are lots of
starving children in AfricaCopy !req
660. who would die to go to a thong shoot.Copy !req
661. What?Copy !req
662. Look, let me make it up to you.Copy !req
663. Let's go play ball-catching now.Copy !req
664. Ball-catching?Copy !req
665. So how's the family reunion going?Copy !req
666. Great. I'd like to check him outCopy !req
667. for a few hours, if that's okay.Copy !req
668. Sure. As long as he's back by sundown.Copy !req
669. He seems like a nice guy.Copy !req
670. You seem like an idiot.Copy !req
671. Okay, I think I know
what would help right now.Copy !req
672. What?Copy !req
673. Frozen chocolata gelato!Copy !req
674. Ciao!Copy !req
675. DEREK JR.: (CRYING) Oh, my God!Copy !req
676. Hashtag, oops.Copy !req
677. You know, sometimes it takes an
extremely traumatic experienceCopy !req
678. to make you appreciate
a good makeover.Copy !req
679. Am I right?Copy !req
680. Derek?Copy !req
681. Derek Jr.!Copy !req
682. - Are you mentally insane?
- What?Copy !req
683. What are you reading? I Am Malalalala?Copy !req
684. No books! Think of your mother.Copy !req
685. What's the big deal?
Mom read tons of books.Copy !req
686. And a one-ton book killed her.Copy !req
687. The book didn't kill Mom. You did.Copy !req
688. And you nearly killed me, too.Copy !req
689. Come on. Look at us.
We look ridiculous.Copy !req
690. What, okay,
maybe your pants are a little loose.Copy !req
691. - Are you serious right now?
- What?Copy !req
692. I don't want to be anything like you!Copy !req
693. You're a has-been!Copy !req
694. And you are the most narcissistic,Copy !req
695. self-involved person I've ever met!Copy !req
696. But that's not how I think of me.Copy !req
697. I'm going back to school.Copy !req
698. Little Derek, come back here!Copy !req
699. I thought we were gonna
give each other facials!Copy !req
700. - (WHISTLES)
- (ENGINE RUNNING)Copy !req
701. Wait.Copy !req
702. How did you learn to speak Italian?Copy !req
703. Because I'm smart!Copy !req
704. Mom was smart, too.Copy !req
705. The only stupid thing she ever didCopy !req
706. was fall in love with you.Copy !req
707. I don't even have the words
to express what a burn that is.Copy !req
708. (SIGHS) I don't know what to say.Copy !req
709. No, I mean I literally
don't have the vocabulary to respond.Copy !req
710. You're like a walking Tyrannosaurus.Copy !req
711. You mean "walking thesaurus".Copy !req
712. I don't know.Copy !req
713. I guess it's nice
that you want to reconnect or whatever.Copy !req
714. But we're too different.Copy !req
715. And it's too late.Copy !req
716. Thanks for the gelato.Copy !req
717. Orgy.Copy !req
718. Hi there, Hansel.Copy !req
719. I heard youCopy !req
720. are on the rebound.Copy !req
721. No, no. I'm still... Still committed.Copy !req
722. We're just taking a little time to kind of...Copy !req
723. Doesn't mean we can't enjoy
each other's bodies.Copy !req
724. (WHISPERS) Oh, damn it.Copy !req
725. Hansel.Copy !req
726. Meaningless sex always makes me
feel better about myself.Copy !req
727. Come on.Copy !req
728. Ooh.Copy !req
729. Hansel!Copy !req
730. We know you're in there!Copy !req
731. Stay here. Stay here.Copy !req
732. Hansel, let us in! We want to apologize!Copy !req
733. Come back to the pigpile, Hansel.Copy !req
734. Touch-a, touch-a, touch me.
I want to be dirty.Copy !req
735. That's it. I've had enough.
Everybody, back up.Copy !req
736. Back! Back!Copy !req
737. Hello! Hello!Copy !req
738. Ah.Copy !req
739. My gosh.Copy !req
740. God... Ow!Copy !req
741. Oh, Hansel.Copy !req
742. Okay. You guys have a talk.
I'm going to a bar.Copy !req
743. That's a good idea. Yeah, go.Copy !req
744. Hey...Copy !req
745. You are a basic bitch.Copy !req
746. Come on, let's go. Come on. Out.Copy !req
747. I can kill you.Copy !req
748. Please. Let me just explain.Copy !req
749. Guys, you didn't
even give me a chance to explain!Copy !req
750. Hansel, how can you expect
to love 11 peopleCopy !req
751. when you don't even love yourself?Copy !req
752. I hope they were worth it.Copy !req
753. That's not fair.Copy !req
754. Kiefer!Copy !req
755. Kiefer!Copy !req
756. Hey, where did everybody go?
I wasn't done with that hippo.Copy !req
757. Who am I?Copy !req
758. Who am I?Copy !req
759. - Derek?
- Hey, Hansel.Copy !req
760. Are you trying to figure out
who you are, also?Copy !req
761. Yep.Copy !req
762. Who am I?Copy !req
763. Hey, Katy!Copy !req
764. Yeah, it's like,
when will we find out who we really are?Copy !req
765. I know, right?Copy !req
766. Who am I?Copy !req
767. Neil deGrasse Tyson.Copy !req
768. Even you don't know who you are?Copy !req
769. In an ever-expanding universe,Copy !req
770. slowly pulling itself apart
into nothingness,Copy !req
771. what use does the question
"Who am I?" even have?Copy !req
772. Neil, I got to say,
you're totally blowing my mind right now.Copy !req
773. That's what I do.Copy !req
774. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson, bitch.Copy !req
775. Whoo!Copy !req
776. Hansel! Derek!
You have to come to Interpol!Copy !req
777. I have incredible news!Copy !req
778. We did
a full diagnostic on your Aqua Vitae look,Copy !req
779. and a linguistics analysis
on its etymology.Copy !req
780. The direct translation is "Water of Life."Copy !req
781. But many have
interpreted it another way.Copy !req
782. "The Fountain of Youth".Copy !req
783. Okay, look, I only
worked there for a summer.Copy !req
784. And, no, they don't give happy endings.Copy !req
785. No, Derek. The actual Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
786. Can you imagine if the Fountain of
Youth indeed does exist...Copy !req
787. And if Alexanya Atoz
could market such a liquid...Copy !req
788. Do you ever get that feelingCopy !req
789. when you see
beautiful teenager girl with perfect skinCopy !req
790. and you want to kill her
and take her skinCopy !req
791. and put it on your skin?Copy !req
792. We bottled that feeling.Copy !req
793. House of Atoz Yowth Milk.Copy !req
794. she would make billions.Copy !req
795. (SOFTLY) Excuse me.Copy !req
796. Orgy?Copy !req
797. You are in serious danger.Copy !req
798. Don't Stand So Close To Me.Copy !req
799. Come on. It's this prank caller again.Copy !req
800. - Put it on speaker.
- What... Why?Copy !req
801. Just put it on speaker!Copy !req
802. Who is this?Copy !req
803. I am your King of Pain.Copy !req
804. Every breath this guy takes, I'm like,
"What are you talking about?"Copy !req
805. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
806. Just meet me
at Saint Peter's Basilica at midnight.Copy !req
807. Sounds like this guy's really into Sting.Copy !req
808. I model my life after Sting.Copy !req
809. And Bieber was killed
in front of Sting's villa.Copy !req
810. What?Copy !req
811. (WHISPERING) Forgive me, Father.Copy !req
812. I have many sins
that I would like to confess.Copy !req
813. One of my sins has to do with
the death of Justin Bieber.Copy !req
814. No way.Copy !req
815. Hey, Derek.Copy !req
816. Hey, Sting.Copy !req
817. And hello, sweet Hansel.Copy !req
818. Hi.Copy !req
819. You two know each other?Copy !req
820. Sadly, we've never met.Copy !req
821. And yet I feel like I've known you...Copy !req
822. my entire life.Copy !req
823. Tell me.Copy !req
824. Have you heard of
the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
825. Yes. Why does everybody
keep asking me that?Copy !req
826. No, Derek, not the hand job
joint you worked at in SoHo.Copy !req
827. The real Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
828. It dates back some 6,000 years.Copy !req
829. Its original location is thought to have
been the Garden of Eden.Copy !req
830. You mean the Turkish bathhouse
I used to work at in Tribeca?Copy !req
831. No, Derek. The Garden of Eden.Copy !req
832. The birthplace of Adam and EveCopy !req
833. and Steve.Copy !req
834. Steve? Who's Steve?Copy !req
835. Steve is the original supermodel.Copy !req
836. The first of the purebloods.Copy !req
837. He was said to be so beautiful,Copy !req
838. with a look so powerful...Copy !req
839. that even
the pools of water he gazed uponCopy !req
840. could not reflect his beauty back to him.Copy !req
841. That look...Copy !req
842. That look was called "El Niño".Copy !req
843. But, honestly, I've never heard of Steve.Copy !req
844. Countless lives throughout historyCopy !req
845. have been lost to make sure of that.Copy !req
846. Evil forces have hunted
his offspring for centuries.Copy !req
847. For the legend statesCopy !req
848. that if you wrench the still-beating heartCopy !req
849. from the gorgeous body
of a true descendent of SteveCopy !req
850. and drink its blood,Copy !req
851. you will obtain eternal beauty.Copy !req
852. So the Fountain of Youth
is not a fountain at all.Copy !req
853. The Fountain of Youth is...Copy !req
854. A person.Copy !req
855. And not just anyone.Copy !req
856. A direct descendent of Steve.Copy !req
857. The Chosen One.Copy !req
858. How do you know all this?Copy !req
859. Because I, and many rock stars
like me, are his protectors.Copy !req
860. You see, there are only a few genesCopy !req
861. that separate the greatest rock
stars in history from male models.Copy !req
862. Which genes are those?Copy !req
863. The ones for talent and intelligence.Copy !req
864. Of course.Copy !req
865. We were entrusted
to protect the Chosen Ones.Copy !req
866. But who is the Chosen One?Copy !req
867. We believe it is your son.Copy !req
868. And that he is in grave danger.Copy !req
869. But he's back at the school!Copy !req
870. We have to get to him before something
terrible happens to him!Copy !req
871. No. Wait. Hansel. Look into my eyes.Copy !req
872. Is there anything you want to ask me?Copy !req
873. Anything at all?Copy !req
874. Do you really have sex for ten hours?Copy !req
875. No comment.Copy !req
876. (WHISPERS) Fifteen.Copy !req
877. Farewell, my handsome boy.Copy !req
878. - Farewell.
- Good-bye, Sting.Copy !req
879. (SPEAKING ITALIAN) Bolt cutters!Copy !req
880. He's gone!Copy !req
881. It's like no one was ever here.Copy !req
882. It was a wig.Copy !req
883. What?Copy !req
884. It was a wig the whole time.Copy !req
885. That was a wig?Copy !req
886. That Headmaster
wasn't a good guy at all!Copy !req
887. No!Copy !req
888. No! No! No!Copy !req
889. Derek!Copy !req
890. Derek, relax!Copy !req
891. Don't do it.Copy !req
892. When you want to go to it.Copy !req
893. - Filippo.
- Si.Copy !req
894. I need you to pull up everything you haveCopy !req
895. on the man who was arrested
back in 2001Copy !req
896. for brainwashing Zoolander.Copy !req
897. Facial scans to be cross-referencedCopy !req
898. with security footage
of the headmaster of the orphanage.Copy !req
899. It's a positive I.D.Copy !req
900. The Headmaster
didn't have a name or papers.Copy !req
901. Oh, my God.Copy !req
902. It's the evil breakdancing DJ.Copy !req
903. He was arrested with Mugatu
and his accomplice back in 2001.Copy !req
904. (GASPS) It's Katinka
Ingaborgovinananananana.Copy !req
905. Where are they now?Copy !req
906. Ingaborgovinanananana
disappeared off the grid.Copy !req
907. It looks like the Evil DJ
came through the Swiss borderCopy !req
908. with forged papers
about three weeks ago.Copy !req
909. I suppose they could have...Copy !req
910. Driven to Rome
and kidnapped Derek's son.Copy !req
911. Exactly!Copy !req
912. Which means the person
behind all of this is...Copy !req
913. Who?Copy !req
914. Who?Copy !req
915. Who are we talking about?Copy !req
916. Mugatu's in there.Copy !req
917. For ten years,
there has only been one nameCopy !req
918. on the list of visitors that he will allow.Copy !req
919. Thank you.Copy !req
920. For what?Copy !req
921. For helping us.Copy !req
922. When I was a little girl
growing up in Albacete,Copy !req
923. my room was covered
in pictures of Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
924. The most amazing model alive.Copy !req
925. Except I'm not one anymore.Copy !req
926. My son called me a has-been.Copy !req
927. I'm a has-been.Copy !req
928. What kind of has-been were you?Copy !req
929. I was a swimsuit model.Copy !req
930. - I'm so sorry.
- My heart goes out to you.Copy !req
931. I was never able
to transition to print or runway.Copy !req
932. To your world of high fashion.Copy !req
933. Because of these.Copy !req
934. These intrusive, oversized naturals.Copy !req
935. These things could never fit
into a sample size.Copy !req
936. Gross.Copy !req
937. (WHISPERING)
You need to go for this now...Copy !req
938. Not later. Now.Copy !req
939. - Hansel, are you serious?
- Yes.Copy !req
940. While Matilda lies warm in her grave?Copy !req
941. Matilda's been dead for years.
You need to move on.Copy !req
942. Honestly, by now
she's just a couple of teeth.Copy !req
943. A piece of spine.Copy !req
944. Maybe a little skull fragment,
like that guy from Tales from the Crypt.Copy !req
945. The Crypt Keeper. (GRUNTING)Copy !req
946. Hansel, stop it! I'm not ready.Copy !req
947. The world's most
notorious fashion criminals are in there.Copy !req
948. Be careful, Derek.
He'll try to get inside your head.Copy !req
949. Don't worry. It's closed for business.Copy !req
950. Give 'em hell, Derek.Copy !req
951. You're goin' down, Zoolander!Copy !req
952. You're goin' down, listen to me!Copy !req
953. You better listen to the Hammer!
Can't touch this!Copy !req
954. No! No! Zoolander
can't touch Mugatu! No!Copy !req
955. Shut up, Hammer!Copy !req
956. Members Only. Members Only.Copy !req
957. Epaulettes are not a crime.Copy !req
958. Smart casual. Smart casual.Copy !req
959. You can't touch him!Copy !req
960. Mr. Hammer is wrong!Copy !req
961. Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
962. I've been expecting you.Copy !req
963. What have you done with my son?Copy !req
964. Hands.Copy !req
965. Our most overrated appendage.Copy !req
966. When not allowed the use of them,Copy !req
967. you'd be surprised how quicklyCopy !req
968. feet can be trained to do
the exact same thing.Copy !req
969. Your son is doing wonderfully.Copy !req
970. From what the school tells
my offshore accountant...Copy !req
971. He's incredibly smart.Copy !req
972. Your accountant?Copy !req
973. Who do you think paid
for that fancy orphanage?Copy !req
974. When he was taken away from you,Copy !req
975. someone had to make sure
he got his eight square meals a day.Copy !req
976. Eight? You bastard!Copy !req
977. I'm sorry. I'd love
to keep talking about this,Copy !req
978. but I seem to have developed
a nasty itch.Copy !req
979. I'd ask you to scratch it for me,Copy !req
980. but no doubt you'd think
I was just trying to trick you.Copy !req
981. Or you're trying to make me
think I shouldn't help you.Copy !req
982. In which case, I should do the
opposite of that and help you.Copy !req
983. Or don't help me.Copy !req
984. I think that's even a better option.Copy !req
985. You're trying to switch it around on
me, but I won't take the bait.Copy !req
986. Sorry, Mugatu.Copy !req
987. I'm going with my first instinct.Copy !req
988. And helping you.Copy !req
989. I really wish you wouldn't.Copy !req
990. Too late. The die is cast.Copy !req
991. I'd prefer that you didn't.Copy !req
992. I'm going to do it.Copy !req
993. Please don't.Copy !req
994. Let me go!Copy !req
995. Not until you untie my straitjacket
and put it on, okay?Copy !req
996. If I do, will you let me go?Copy !req
997. No!Copy !req
998. Which means you will let me go.Copy !req
999. So I'll do it.Copy !req
1000. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
1001. Okay!Copy !req
1002. Check and mate, Mugatu.Copy !req
1003. Your move.Copy !req
1004. You really are an idiot, aren't you?Copy !req
1005. Like, super, super white hot,
blazingly stupid.Copy !req
1006. For ten long years...Copy !req
1007. I've been plotting my escape
from this dreadful place.Copy !req
1008. For ten long years. For ten long years.Copy !req
1009. Ten years spent creating some of the
most realistic and lifelike masks...Copy !req
1010. ever made.Copy !req
1011. One for you.Copy !req
1012. And one for me.Copy !req
1013. All so that today...Copy !req
1014. you can become me!Copy !req
1015. And I can become...Copy !req
1016. you!Copy !req
1017. That's it?Copy !req
1018. You'll never get away with this.Copy !req
1019. All of the guards
here are former male models.Copy !req
1020. Somehow I don't think
it's gonna be a problem.Copy !req
1021. Guard! Guard!Copy !req
1022. Will that be all, Mr. Zoolander?Copy !req
1023. That will be all.Copy !req
1024. No!Copy !req
1025. No!Copy !req
1026. Come back here, Mugatu!Copy !req
1027. Mugatu!Copy !req
1028. Go get Derek!Copy !req
1029. What?Copy !req
1030. Go get Derek!Copy !req
1031. And tell my orgy I love them!Copy !req
1032. Todd!Copy !req
1033. Where's my goddamn latte?Copy !req
1034. Oh, and, um, here.Copy !req
1035. What's that?Copy !req
1036. I missed you, too.Copy !req
1037. Alexanya!Copy !req
1038. Moo-Moo!Copy !req
1039. Alexanya!Copy !req
1040. Oh, no. Hey, sorry to interrupt.Copy !req
1041. What? (GIGGLES)Copy !req
1042. Don Atari, what are you doing here?Copy !req
1043. Don't you knuck?Copy !req
1044. Mugatu? What? No way, dude.Copy !req
1045. I thought you were
supposed to be in jail, dude.Copy !req
1046. You're like some dangerous criminalCopy !req
1047. that tried to assassinate
a world leader, dude.Copy !req
1048. That was some crazy retro-Bond shit.Copy !req
1049. So corny. I loved it.Copy !req
1050. Who are you?Copy !req
1051. Uh, hello! I know you been
all Shawshanked out,Copy !req
1052. but, like, seriously, I'm the new stupid
king of fashion, whatever.Copy !req
1053. Don Atari, baby.Copy !req
1054. What!Copy !req
1055. So you know who I am, right?Copy !req
1056. Derelicte was the dumbest, dude.Copy !req
1057. You and SpongeBob are, honestly, like,
my biggest influences ever, dude.Copy !req
1058. And did you just escape from prisonCopy !req
1059. in the most ingenious way possible?Copy !req
1060. Uh, what?Copy !req
1061. And did you engineer the abductionCopy !req
1062. and fattening of the son of Zoolander,Copy !req
1063. and delivery
of the Chosen One for ritual sacrificeCopy !req
1064. as the key to the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
1065. Did you?Copy !req
1066. Did you? Did you do that?Copy !req
1067. - Naw.
- Naw?Copy !req
1068. Naw.Copy !req
1069. - Naw?
- Naw.Copy !req
1070. Did you say "naw"?Copy !req
1071. I... I said... "naw".Copy !req
1072. So, I just want to ask you again.Copy !req
1073. Do you knowCopy !req
1074. who I am?Copy !req
1075. Whatever, you're...Copy !req
1076. I'm Jaca-boo-who?Copy !req
1077. Jacobim Mugatu.Copy !req
1078. That's right!Copy !req
1079. I'm Jacobim Mugatu!Copy !req
1080. Fashion genius.Copy !req
1081. And you...Copy !req
1082. You are no one!Copy !req
1083. Do you understand me?Copy !req
1084. No one!Copy !req
1085. I'm the Mamba Bajamba!Copy !req
1086. I'm the Mamba Bajamba!Copy !req
1087. Todd!Copy !req
1088. You'll take my name into death!Copy !req
1089. You should know, I actually
care about everybodyCopy !req
1090. and everything very truly...Copy !req
1091. - (GRUNTS)
- (THUDS)Copy !req
1092. That's right! I just killed a little hipster!Copy !req
1093. Yeah!Copy !req
1094. Prison changed me deeply!Copy !req
1095. It affected me psychologically.Copy !req
1096. I'm a psycho!Copy !req
1097. This is just the beginning. Watch out!Copy !req
1098. Buyer beware!Copy !req
1099. Now where is that
chubby little blood fountain?Copy !req
1100. Hansel!Copy !req
1101. (WHISPERING) Guys,
Mugatz just killed Atari.Copy !req
1102. For serious?Copy !req
1103. Also, they're going
to kill your son tonight.Copy !req
1104. What?Copy !req
1105. Hang on. I'm gonna try
and get more intel.Copy !req
1106. What's going on?Copy !req
1107. Why did you kidnap me?Copy !req
1108. I didn't kidnap you. Don't be a silly-billy.Copy !req
1109. I'm just a fun,
non-threatening clown, that's what I am.Copy !req
1110. Who wants to massively
increase your caloric intake.Copy !req
1111. Look.Copy !req
1112. Come here.Copy !req
1113. There's an all-you-can-eat pasta bar.Copy !req
1114. (CHUCKLES) Abbondanza!Copy !req
1115. Spicy hot pasta puttanesca.Copy !req
1116. Which means "whore's pasta"!Copy !req
1117. As in a whore, who made this pasta.Copy !req
1118. Doesn't that look delicious?Copy !req
1119. Next, an all-you-can-eat lard bar.Copy !req
1120. - Squirt, piggy, squirt!
- (OINKING)Copy !req
1121. Squirt it! Squirt!Copy !req
1122. All the lard you want!Copy !req
1123. Fill your little tummy full of lard!Copy !req
1124. Hansel, where is he now?Copy !req
1125. He's okay.Copy !req
1126. It's actually kind of nice.Copy !req
1127. Mugatu's hooked him up
with some snacks.Copy !req
1128. He's got like a lard bar
and some cheesecake and stuff.Copy !req
1129. Oh, and pasta, too.Copy !req
1130. No!Copy !req
1131. Oh, no. You're right.
He's fattening him for the slaughter.Copy !req
1132. You can drop this stupid act.Copy !req
1133. I know who you are.
You're Jacob Moogberg.Copy !req
1134. And you're supposed to be in jail.Copy !req
1135. Hey! Jacob Moogberg died
the day I put ebony and ivoryCopy !req
1136. on skinny satin neckwear!Copy !req
1137. You hear me?Copy !req
1138. Okay. I got to make my move. Later.Copy !req
1139. You listen to me, Biggie Smalls.Copy !req
1140. I went to prison!Copy !req
1141. You better scarf down that
last bowl of whore pasta!Copy !req
1142. We roll in two!Copy !req
1143. You okay in there, little fella?Copy !req
1144. We should call the police boat!Copy !req
1145. They'll never get here in time.Copy !req
1146. Who says swimsuit models are useless?Copy !req
1147. Wait. What are you doing?Copy !req
1148. How long can you hold your breath?Copy !req
1149. - What?
- Take me from behind, Derek.Copy !req
1150. And grab me like your life depends on it.Copy !req
1151. Not like this.Copy !req
1152. Like this!Copy !req
1153. For safety. And buoyancy.Copy !req
1154. Wait. What?Copy !req
1155. We are swimming back to Rome.Copy !req
1156. Oh, okay.Copy !req
1157. I just talked to your dad.Copy !req
1158. And we've got to get you
out of here pronto.Copy !req
1159. I never want to see him again.Copy !req
1160. What're you talking about?
Your dad's a great guy.Copy !req
1161. He loves you like you're his own.Copy !req
1162. I am his own!Copy !req
1163. He's literally the worst father ever!Copy !req
1164. Do you know
it would break your mom's heartCopy !req
1165. to hear you bugging out
on your dad like this?Copy !req
1166. You knew my mom?Copy !req
1167. Oh, yeah. One of the most
amazing women I ever met.Copy !req
1168. Really?Copy !req
1169. You didn't want to cross her in the sack.Copy !req
1170. Those hips of hers would put a love
lock on you to beat the band.Copy !req
1171. Wait, what?Copy !req
1172. I remember there was one night,Copy !req
1173. she had me and your dad
absolutely twisted in knots.Copy !req
1174. I was driving the freight train,Copy !req
1175. your dad's tearing tickets in the caboose.Copy !req
1176. Oh...Copy !req
1177. She had a mouth
like Chinese fingercuffs.Copy !req
1178. You know where you, like, try to pull it
out but it just keeps getting tighter...Copy !req
1179. Stop it! God.Copy !req
1180. Look... I'm not going.Copy !req
1181. Well, Mugatu's planning
to crack your chest open,Copy !req
1182. cut your heart out with a knife,
and drink your blood!Copy !req
1183. What?Copy !req
1184. Here he comes.
Everything's gonna be okay.Copy !req
1185. It's okay, it's okay.Copy !req
1186. (STUTTERS) I was exaggerating.Copy !req
1187. It's D-Day, little dumpling.Copy !req
1188. - (GASPS AND SWALLOWS)
- (COUGHS)Copy !req
1189. - You're an amazing swimmer.
- (PANTING)Copy !req
1190. (MUFFLED) Why are you doing this?Copy !req
1191. Don't talk with your mouth full.Copy !req
1192. It's soaking wet! It's ruined!Copy !req
1193. How are we gonna reach Hansel?Copy !req
1194. We need a phone.Copy !req
1195. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1196. Like this one?Copy !req
1197. (WHISPERS) Derek.Copy !req
1198. Hansel, where are you?Copy !req
1199. I don't know. Some kind of tunnel.Copy !req
1200. I think we're underneath the IncrediBall.Copy !req
1201. It smells like the ruins
of an ancient bathhouse.Copy !req
1202. It's at the Caracalla Baths.Copy !req
1203. I'll drop a pin or a needle or whateverCopy !req
1204. and you can track my coordinates.Copy !req
1205. Cool.Copy !req
1206. They'll never let us in looking like this.Copy !req
1207. Interpol Fashion Division!Copy !req
1208. We need your vehicle
and your clothes. Now!Copy !req
1209. Why is Anna Wintour walking
away from the red carpet?Copy !req
1210. (WHISPERING) We have to get in there.Copy !req
1211. Every bathhouse I've ever worked
at always had a rear entrance.Copy !req
1212. I'm sure this one's no different.
Come on.Copy !req
1213. This is definitely it.Copy !req
1214. If I feel around here long enough,Copy !req
1215. I should be able to find the hole...Copy !req
1216. - (PANTING)
- (CLATTERS)Copy !req
1217. Derek!Copy !req
1218. Hansel!Copy !req
1219. Boy, am I glad to see you guys.Copy !req
1220. Hansel, my son is going
to die hating me.Copy !req
1221. Hating you? The last time I saw him,Copy !req
1222. he couldn't stop talking about
how much he loves you.Copy !req
1223. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
1224. He said that?Copy !req
1225. Yes. I mean, I'm kind of paraphrasing,Copy !req
1226. and you had to read between the lines,Copy !req
1227. but, basically.Copy !req
1228. Shut up! Can we talk about this later?Copy !req
1229. Yeah, come on. Let's go!Copy !req
1230. This way.Copy !req
1231. (WHISPERING) That's Alexander Wang.Copy !req
1232. And Vera Wang.Copy !req
1233. Both Wangs.Copy !req
1234. Marc Jacobs.Copy !req
1235. Tommy Hilfiger.Copy !req
1236. They are all here for the sacrifice.Copy !req
1237. In the beginning of time,Copy !req
1238. God created Adam and Eve...Copy !req
1239. and Steve!Copy !req
1240. (CHANTING) Mugatu!Copy !req
1241. Mugatu!Copy !req
1242. Mugatu!Copy !req
1243. Mugatu!Copy !req
1244. Mugatu!Copy !req
1245. - (WHIMPERS)
- (ALL CHEERING)Copy !req
1246. - D.J.
- Wait.Copy !req
1247. We don't have backup yet.Copy !req
1248. - Jacobeem Mugowto has deliver us...
- (DEREK JR WHIMPERS)Copy !req
1249. the Choosen Why-yun.Copy !req
1250. And behold,Copy !req
1251. God expunged Steve from the Garden,Copy !req
1252. only to redeem us with eternal youth...Copy !req
1253. No.Copy !req
1254. bathed in the blood
of the fat little Chosen One!Copy !req
1255. - Derek!
- Derek, don't.Copy !req
1256. No!Copy !req
1257. - (GASPS)
- (DEREK GRUNTS)Copy !req
1258. I don't care
if you're fat anymore, Derek Jr.Copy !req
1259. I love you.Copy !req
1260. Look, I have made
a lot of mistakes in my life,Copy !req
1261. but you are by far the best one.Copy !req
1262. I was a mistake?Copy !req
1263. I think so.Copy !req
1264. To tell you the truth, we were having
so much sex, I can't remember.Copy !req
1265. Tell me about it, muchacho.Copy !req
1266. Ugh!Copy !req
1267. You're beautiful. You have the fire.
You just need to believe it.Copy !req
1268. The fire?Copy !req
1269. The fire in your face.Copy !req
1270. I lost it the day I killed your mom.Copy !req
1271. Oh, look. It's a sad, scared little boyCopy !req
1272. talking to his fat son about their feelings.Copy !req
1273. You are responsible for all this!Copy !req
1274. You lured me to Italy
so you could escape from prison.Copy !req
1275. You made Don Atari
and Alexanya hire me to set this trap.Copy !req
1276. But enough is enough!Copy !req
1277. Enough is enough!Copy !req
1278. Eat my blade, Junior!Copy !req
1279. Time to die, Chubby Checker!Copy !req
1280. Magnum, buddy. Now.Copy !req
1281. I can do this.Copy !req
1282. Oh.Copy !req
1283. That did not work at all.Copy !req
1284. It just doesn't hold up, does it?Copy !req
1285. You sleuthed the whole thing out, Derek,Copy !req
1286. but failed to de-sleuth
the most important piece of the puzzle.Copy !req
1287. I owned the construction companyCopy !req
1288. that built the Center for
Kids Who Can't Read Good.Copy !req
1289. I personally made sure they cut corners.Copy !req
1290. Literally!Copy !req
1291. But that means that...Copy !req
1292. That's right, JuJu Bean.
That's How I Killed Your Mother!Copy !req
1293. On CBS, right after Two Broke Girls.Copy !req
1294. Dad, it wasn't you!Copy !req
1295. It wasn't...Copy !req
1296. Wait. You called me "Dad".Copy !req
1297. Oh, I guess I did.Copy !req
1298. Now you don't have the ceremonial knife!Copy !req
1299. Which means, no Fountain of Youth!Copy !req
1300. Come on, Derek! We need the blood!Copy !req
1301. Stop being so emotional, Derek.Copy !req
1302. Just give him the goddamn knife.Copy !req
1303. Derek, we need the blood!Copy !req
1304. (CHANTING) Blood of Steve!
Blood of Steve!Copy !req
1305. Blood of Steve! Blood of Steve!Copy !req
1306. Blood of Steve!
Give him back the knife, Derek.Copy !req
1307. Blood of Steve! Blood of Steve!Copy !req
1308. Shut up, Valentino!Copy !req
1309. Just shut up! Everyone shut up!Copy !req
1310. There is no Fountain of Youth!Copy !req
1311. What?Copy !req
1312. I mean, Adam and Eve and Steve?Copy !req
1313. Are you serious?
You actually believed that crap?Copy !req
1314. What?Copy !req
1315. It's literally the stupidest thing
I've ever heard!Copy !req
1316. I get it if Alexander Wang believes it,
but the rest of you, come on!Copy !req
1317. Oh, please.Copy !req
1318. Without me, you'd still
be cutting patterns at Men's Wearhouse.Copy !req
1319. Oh, look,
it's the White Witch from Narnia!Copy !req
1320. Oh, no, I'm sorry it's just Anna Wintour.Copy !req
1321. I'll knock your teeth out!Copy !req
1322. I'll rip your goddamn tongue out!Copy !req
1323. Check out the new
spring collection from Hilfiger.Copy !req
1324. Brought to you by white privilege!Copy !req
1325. You couldn't make a down jacket
to save your life!Copy !req
1326. Asshole.Copy !req
1327. I don't understand.
You're saying the legend isn't true?Copy !req
1328. Why are you doing all of this, then?Copy !req
1329. Because Marc, by Marc Jacobs...Copy !req
1330. I knew there'd only be
one thing that would gatherCopy !req
1331. the entire idiotic fashion
world into one place with no exit!Copy !req
1332. Todd! Doors!Copy !req
1333. Todd! Silks!Copy !req
1334. Huh?Copy !req
1335. For years you all left me
to die in a stinking cell!Copy !req
1336. Well, now it's my turn!Copy !req
1337. I was living a peaceful life of reclusion.Copy !req
1338. Why drag me into this?Copy !req
1339. Because my big issue is...Copy !req
1340. I hate you, Derek Zoolander!Copy !req
1341. Then why kill all those pop stars?Copy !req
1342. Why kill Justin Bieber?Copy !req
1343. Really? You're asking me
why I killed Justin Bieber?Copy !req
1344. Todd! Pooch!Copy !req
1345. It's a bomb!Copy !req
1346. Not just any bomb.Copy !req
1347. A device, designed by Philippe StarckCopy !req
1348. in collaboration with AI-QaedaCopy !req
1349. for their new spring explosive collection.Copy !req
1350. Todd! Floor!Copy !req
1351. When I throw this
into this ancient pool of lava,Copy !req
1352. it will overflow,
killing everyone in fashion.Copy !req
1353. Leaving only me.Copy !req
1354. You can't kill fashion!Copy !req
1355. I'm afraid fashion already killed itself.Copy !req
1356. Mugatu! I'm coming across!Copy !req
1357. Derek!Copy !req
1358. Heat is a temporal construct of the mind.Copy !req
1359. Yes.Copy !req
1360. It doesn't exist.Copy !req
1361. - (SCREAMING)
- Whoa!Copy !req
1362. It's so hot! It's hot!Copy !req
1363. Jesus!Copy !req
1364. Stop it, Hansel! Stop it!Copy !req
1365. Derek, toss me the knife.Copy !req
1366. You got it!Copy !req
1367. Sorry.Copy !req
1368. So stupid.Copy !req
1369. - What the hell is your problem?
- (SCREAMS)Copy !req
1370. You guys are the absolute worst.Copy !req
1371. Put the bomb down, Mugatu!Copy !req
1372. Oh, you're the bubble-butted Playboy
model trying to take me down.Copy !req
1373. Swimsuit model!Copy !req
1374. Sports Illustrated cover,
three years in a row!Copy !req
1375. Ah!Copy !req
1376. Katinka...Copy !req
1377. Ingaborgovinanananana!Copy !req
1378. - (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)Copy !req
1379. Game on, my sexy sister.Copy !req
1380. Look! They're sexy fighting!Copy !req
1381. Awesome.Copy !req
1382. Tommy likee.Copy !req
1383. Hey, idiots!
Maybe this will get your attention!Copy !req
1384. I've got a bomb in my hand
and it's armed!Copy !req
1385. - (BEEPING)
- (BOTH GASPING)Copy !req
1386. Derek, now! Magnum! Do it!Copy !req
1387. Fly, baby, fly!Copy !req
1388. Bust it out!Copy !req
1389. Yes! I knew it.Copy !req
1390. Hansel, I need your help.Copy !req
1391. Here, let me try!Copy !req
1392. It's not working! Derek, it's not working!Copy !req
1393. I can't hold it, Hansel! I don't have it!Copy !req
1394. You've got your son! I've got nothing.Copy !req
1395. Not anymore, Hansel.Copy !req
1396. Who's your daddy now?Copy !req
1397. I don't know who my daddy is!Copy !req
1398. That's the whole point!Copy !req
1399. - Hansel.
- What?Copy !req
1400. I am your father.Copy !req
1401. Holy shit. Sting?Copy !req
1402. Let's do this now.Copy !req
1403. Synchronicity.Copy !req
1404. Nice try, but that looks about
as powerful as your fat son's...Copy !req
1405. I'm not fat!Copy !req
1406. He's plus size.Copy !req
1407. And I've got the fire.Copy !req
1408. El Niño! It's real.Copy !req
1409. It's so beautiful.Copy !req
1410. Bellissima.Copy !req
1411. The prophecy was true.Copy !req
1412. He is the Chosen One.Copy !req
1413. Hansel. He's still so hot right now.Copy !req
1414. No way! It's a glitter bomb!Copy !req
1415. Looks like you still have it.Copy !req
1416. I guess I do.Copy !req
1417. - Well, we do.
- Mmm.Copy !req
1418. Ah!Copy !req
1419. Your face!Copy !req
1420. How bad is it?Copy !req
1421. Welcome to my world, bro.Copy !req
1422. Hansel!
Hansel!Copy !req
1423. - Orgy!
- Hansel!Copy !req
1424. What are they doing here?Copy !req
1425. I knew how much they meant to you,Copy !req
1426. so I called them on the way over.Copy !req
1427. You did that for me?Copy !req
1428. You're the best friend anyone could
ever ask for, Derek Zoolander.Copy !req
1429. You look so beautiful. Oh.Copy !req
1430. We missed you so much.Copy !req
1431. And I've missed you, too.Copy !req
1432. And I'm ready to be a father.
To all our children.Copy !req
1433. Minus one.Copy !req
1434. What?Copy !req
1435. I lost my baby.Copy !req
1436. No.Copy !req
1437. I guess kicking the door
down wasn't such a good idea.Copy !req
1438. We're going to be a family,
that's all that matters.Copy !req
1439. Wait. Are you sure?Copy !req
1440. You're right. We shouldn't.Copy !req
1441. Hey. It's okay, Dad.
I don't think Mom would mind.Copy !req
1442. Matilda.Copy !req
1443. Go to her, Derek.Copy !req
1444. You're cool with it?Copy !req
1445. I'm totally cool with it.Copy !req
1446. I'm dead.Copy !req
1447. Literally nothing bothers me anymore.Copy !req
1448. Oh, and guess what?Copy !req
1449. Mugatu live-streamed all of thisCopy !req
1450. to every fashion blog on the planet.Copy !req
1451. Everybody loves you guys again.Copy !req
1452. Did you hear that?Copy !req
1453. We did it. We're back.Copy !req
1454. And famous. And totally self-realized.Copy !req
1455. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?Copy !req
1456. If you're thinking...Copy !req
1457. Lava pool party!Copy !req
1458. No!Copy !req
1459. They're back!Copy !req
1460. After six weeks in the burn ward,Copy !req
1461. their disgusting facial scars healedCopy !req
1462. by a miraculous hot lava treatmentCopy !req
1463. Derek Zoolander and Hansel
owning the runway once againCopy !req
1464. after exposing fashion's top designersCopy !req
1465. in yet another human sacrifice scandal.Copy !req
1466. This time with the aid
of Interpol agent Valentina Valencia,Copy !req
1467. now Zoolander's wife.Copy !req
1468. The two recently broke groundCopy !req
1469. for the Valentina Valencia
Center For Swimsuit ModelsCopy !req
1470. Who Want To Be Taken SeriouslyCopy !req
1471. And Maybe Transition
Into Law Enforcement Too.Copy !req
1472. Hansel, definitely back
and fully self-realized.Copy !req
1473. Now a model parent. And father often.Copy !req
1474. As crowds at Paris Fashion WeekCopy !req
1475. go cray-cray for Derek Zoolander, Jr.,Copy !req
1476. the world's hottest
plus size model-slash-Copy !req
1477. National Book Award winner-Copy !req
1478. slash-one-half of celebrity
couple Zoolala.Copy !req
1479. Yes, these three are totally on fleek...Copy !req
1480. Redefining what it means
to be really, really,Copy !req
1481. ridiculously good-looking.Copy !req
1482. Pumped up with the sex appealCopy !req
1483. 'Bout to cop another feel
Then I foot the billCopy !req
1484. I got bang bang with the looks that killCopy !req
1485. Sashay, Shante, then hit the blue steelCopy !req
1486. Trying to take a ride in the cool mobileCopy !req
1487. You wanna keep me on the line
'Cause my culo realCopy !req
1488. Rockstar shit with the Goose on the chillCopy !req
1489. My pockets so fat, got a sumo dealCopy !req
1490. I'm a star, so the camera flickerCopy !req
1491. Look at her go, blame it on the liquorCopy !req
1492. Doing it big, my selfie two figuresCopy !req
1493. Could give it up, but I ain't a quitterCopy !req
1494. Ooh, I be flyer than you
World domination, I'm so MugatuCopy !req
1495. Yes, I be smashin', plenty of fashionCopy !req
1496. Doing my anthem,
Now give 'em the MagnumCopy !req
1497. Relax, don't do it
When you wanna go to itCopy !req
1498. Relax, don't do itCopy !req
1499. Relax, don't do it
When we got the club movingCopy !req
1500. Relax, don't do itCopy !req
1501. When you wanna comeCopy !req
1502. Pack it up, old lames
You just irrelevant to usCopy !req
1503. Old as the presidents
Your style is like the republican twosCopy !req
1504. That's a definite
Give grief to all your relativesCopy !req
1505. And next of kin and
Gave 'em D-attention, no decificitCopy !req
1506. When I say ancient relics,
Hansel and Derek,Copy !req
1507. I'm handsome, you jealousCopy !req
1508. I can tell it from your facial expressions
Or I take it, you smell itCopy !req
1509. I'm sorry, Don Atari, but Donatella
suggested Valentino for the partyCopy !req
1510. Shoot it in the right directionCopy !req
1511. Make it your intentionCopy !req
1512. Live those dreamsCopy !req
1513. Scheme those schemesCopy !req
1514. You gotta hit meCopy !req
1515. Hit me with those laser beamsCopy !req
1516. Relax, don't do it
When you wanna go to itCopy !req
1517. Relax, don't do it
When you wanna comeCopy !req
1518. Relax, don't do itCopy !req
1519. When we got the club movingCopy !req
1520. Relax, don't do itCopy !req
1521. When you wanna comeCopy !req
1522. When you wanna comeCopy !req
1523. RelaxCopy !req