1. Come disco.Copy !req
2. No, no, no.
I no disco, I make the fish.Copy !req
3. Danny, come on, go disco.Copy !req
4. Oh, okay. Disco!Copy !req
5. Danny, that looks good. You're gonna
be a hit at your bar mitzvah.Copy !req
6. So okay, Mr. Big Penachim,
I no see you disco.Copy !req
7. No, no, no. I making dagim.
I no disco.Copy !req
8. A real man, he can disco
and cooking dagim.Copy !req
9. So let's go.Copy !req
10. Go, go.Copy !req
11. I get the hummus for you.Copy !req
12. And for you.Copy !req
13. Little for me, eh!Copy !req
14. No.Copy !req
15. No.Copy !req
16. Kapara, what is going on!Copy !req
17. Just some bullshit-uchen.Copy !req
18. Let's go!Copy !req
19. Hey, I'm on vacation here.
Can't you see this!Copy !req
20. You promised me time off.
Get someone else to do it.Copy !req
21. Are they gonna hurt him!Copy !req
22. No one can hurt the Zohan.Copy !req
23. - Bye, Zohan.
- Take care, man.Copy !req
24. The terrorist known as Phantom...Copy !req
25. was spotted yesterday at a
Hacky Sack tournament in Beirut.Copy !req
26. He may be have been trying to
bait us by surfacing briefly.Copy !req
27. We believe he's being kept in a safe
house on the Lebanon border.Copy !req
28. How is we lose Phantom!Copy !req
29. Didn't I capture Phantom
three months ago!Copy !req
30. What, you didn't hear
about the trade!Copy !req
31. What trade!Copy !req
32. Zohan, we gave back the Phantom.Copy !req
33. No!Copy !req
34. What do you mean,
we give back the Phantom!Copy !req
35. Zohan, relax.Copy !req
36. It was a good trade.
We got back Etan and David.Copy !req
37. That's all we got
for a veteran terrorist!Copy !req
38. Come on, we got hosed here.Copy !req
39. They threw in a spy
to be named later.Copy !req
40. Come on, Zohan,
you have to like that deal.Copy !req
41. Maybe they're talking about Ze'ev.Copy !req
42. Ze'ev.
Come on, he's not even a good spy.Copy !req
43. He got caught, for God's sake.
He's a stupid.Copy !req
44. Our plan is to enter the building from
the front with a team of eight men...Copy !req
45. with an additional 12 men
at perimeter positions.Copy !req
46. Unfortunately, there is a high
probability of collateral damage...Copy !req
47. including property and loss of life,
on both sides.Copy !req
48. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
49. Excuse me!Copy !req
50. Come on, is it not safer
to send one man into building...Copy !req
51. with minimal coverage
to take out the target...Copy !req
52. instead of blowing up
half the neighborhood!Copy !req
53. Well, who would do that!Copy !req
54. Oh, "who would do that!"Copy !req
55. You know you were
going to ask the Zohan.Copy !req
56. Zohan, why you say this!Copy !req
57. I just laid out an entire plan
which didn't rely on you.Copy !req
58. Come on, Yaron,
you're setting me up.Copy !req
59. All this talk of civilian casualties,
then of course I end up doing it.Copy !req
60. - But I'm not even asking you to do it.
- All right, I'll do it.Copy !req
61. Give me Avi and Koby as watch,
I'll get it done without the mess.Copy !req
62. Well, thank you. You didn't have to.Copy !req
63. Oh, I didn't have to, bullschlassah.Copy !req
64. Have some Fizzy Bubblech.Copy !req
65. "Kiwi watermelon"! Yeah, is good.Copy !req
66. "Avalon."Copy !req
67. Chunky cuts.Copy !req
68. Zohan, what are you doing!
The girls are here.Copy !req
69. I know, I was watching television.Copy !req
70. Well, if you want to have fun with us,
we're right next door.Copy !req
71. - Good with the sticky, you should do it.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
72. I am going to dinner with my parents.
Just leave me alone.Copy !req
73. - All right, all right.
- It is all right!Copy !req
74. You don't giggle at the Zohan.Copy !req
75. You hear me!
No giggling at the Zohan.Copy !req
76. You never giggle at the Zohan.Copy !req
77. What's the matter, tatele?Copy !req
78. You haven't touched
your baba ganoush.Copy !req
79. What would you think if I tell you...Copy !req
80. I want to leaving the army,
start a new life!Copy !req
81. Why would you do that!
You are good at it. It's steady pay.Copy !req
82. You can't leave,
you're one of their best.Copy !req
83. Besides, you are too old
to take a risk.Copy !req
84. Stay in the army, play it safe.Copy !req
85. There's other things I can do
besides war.Copy !req
86. You don't war.Copy !req
87. - I was in the real war.
- I know, I know the story.Copy !req
88. 1967.Copy !req
89. We were surrounded on all sides,
outnumbered.Copy !req
90. - And in six days, we...
- And in six days, we won.Copy !req
91. You won. I'm sorry,
I don't have a big, fancy war...Copy !req
92. that lasted all of six days...Copy !req
93. Six days and five hours.
Your generation likes to forget that.Copy !req
94. Dad, I've done so much
for the country. When does it end!Copy !req
95. They've been fighting for 2000 years.
It can't be much longer.Copy !req
96. All of my friends served
the minimum three years.Copy !req
97. Why can't I move on!
Do something else.Copy !req
98. Something more creative.Copy !req
99. Creative, what!Copy !req
100. You've caught so many terrorists,
it's an art.Copy !req
101. You're like Rembrandt
with a grenade.Copy !req
102. What will you do!Copy !req
103. Maybe go to America.Copy !req
104. What, and haggle over
stereo equipment!Copy !req
105. Wait a minute, Ya'acov.Copy !req
106. Uncle Levi will set you up
at electronic store.Copy !req
107. You make money, sow your
creative oats, you come back.Copy !req
108. No, I don't want to do
electronics store.Copy !req
109. Then how will you make money!Copy !req
110. I don't want to say.Copy !req
111. Zohan, if you can't tell your parents,
who can you tell!Copy !req
112. Come, Zohanele.Copy !req
113. I want to cut...Copy !req
114. and style hair.Copy !req
115. You... You fagala?Copy !req
116. He's fag... Faga...Copy !req
117. I like hair. It's pleasant,
it's peaceful, no one gets hurt.Copy !req
118. Well, you're only digging
that fagala hole deeper and deeper.Copy !req
119. Hello, down there!
Hello, in the fagala hole.Copy !req
120. Maybe he wants Vaseline.Copy !req
121. Yes, it's so funny.Copy !req
122. I just want to make people
silky smooth.Copy !req
123. You know the Phantom will try to run,
so be ready for this.Copy !req
124. - Zohan, now!
- So let's go.Copy !req
125. The Zohan.Copy !req
126. Freeze!Copy !req
127. I get it, I get it,
you guys don't like our country.Copy !req
128. So we are the bad ones.Copy !req
129. I'd love to sit and discuss this
with you, but I'm short on time.Copy !req
130. I'm just saying.
It's not so cut-and-dry.Copy !req
131. We settled here
for hundreds of years!Copy !req
132. Good point.Copy !req
133. None of my ancestors ever stepped
foot in this land. No, you're right.Copy !req
134. Hey, don't walk away!Copy !req
135. Come out, come out,
wherever you are.Copy !req
136. Hello, jackass.Copy !req
137. You think you can oppress my people,
landgrabber!Copy !req
138. But I will never disappear.Copy !req
139. No one can catch Phantom!Copy !req
140. So let's go.Copy !req
141. Very good.Copy !req
142. Sorry. It's for the cause.Copy !req
143. Zohan.Copy !req
144. Zohan, bring it.Copy !req
145. Why you do this! I feel no pain.Copy !req
146. No, no, no. I feel no pain.Copy !req
147. - I feel no pain. This is too much...
- No, no, no. I feel no pain.Copy !req
148. I have told you in other fights.Copy !req
149. No, no, no. I kill you right now.Copy !req
150. Look, look, look.Copy !req
151. The piranha,
it looks very painful for you.Copy !req
152. Is good, is good.Copy !req
153. Is very nice. Yes, yes.Copy !req
154. Fizzy Bubblech for me.Copy !req
155. You like what you see!Copy !req
156. Time to die.Copy !req
157. So let's go.Copy !req
158. Okay, game over.Copy !req
159. Yeah!Copy !req
160. I kill!Copy !req
161. I kill the Zohan!Copy !req
162. Zohan is dead.Copy !req
163. The Phantom!Copy !req
164. Cutting the hair,
this makes something beautiful.Copy !req
165. Instead of shooting it.Copy !req
166. That's why I had to fake to die.Copy !req
167. I could have captured Phantom again,
but for what! They trade him.Copy !req
168. I love my country,
but the fighting, it never ends.Copy !req
169. It's like Mr. Scrappy, you bite Coco.Copy !req
170. Coco, you bite him back.Copy !req
171. Soon you are both having worms,
eating your own poopech...Copy !req
172. I understand. The pills.Copy !req
173. Your parents think
they know what's best for you.Copy !req
174. Sleep.Copy !req
175. It's all about not getting recognized.Copy !req
176. I know how great I looked
in the beard...Copy !req
177. but I'll make this work for me,
you'll see.Copy !req
178. Rise and shine, guys.
Good morning.Copy !req
179. Is nice, huh!Copy !req
180. It's the Avalon.Copy !req
181. It says I care about the way I look,
but I'm still approachable.Copy !req
182. Oh, you like this!Copy !req
183. Who wants to go next, guys!
Who wants to look silky smooth!Copy !req
184. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
185. Oh, where are my two little babies!
Oh, come on.Copy !req
186. Come on out, Scrappy, come on out.
Come to Mama, Mr. Coco.Copy !req
187. Mr. Scrappy. Coco.
What happened!Copy !req
188. Who gave you permission
to do this, huh!Copy !req
189. Who did! Answer me.Copy !req
190. Scrappy, was it you!
It was you, wasn't it!Copy !req
191. You're always the instigator.Copy !req
192. Bad dog. You are a very bad dog.
Never again are you gonna travel.Copy !req
193. Take me to the Paul Mitchell
hair salon.Copy !req
194. - First time in New York!
- Yes, my friend.Copy !req
195. So, what brings you here!Copy !req
196. I have a dream.Copy !req
197. I had a dream too.Copy !req
198. What dream you have!Copy !req
199. My dream was to come to America...Copy !req
200. and make enough money
to send for me brothers and sisters...Copy !req
201. so that we all could enjoy
freedom together.Copy !req
202. - This is good dream.
- Oh, yes, it is.Copy !req
203. - Is dream come true!
- No, man.Copy !req
204. Me brothers and sisters
were hacked to death.Copy !req
205. But I love the Chinese food here.
It's incredible.Copy !req
206. - Hey, you forgot these.
- Those are for you, my friend.Copy !req
207. Good morning for you.
I am here to meet Mr. Paul Mitchell.Copy !req
208. And who are you!Copy !req
209. Scrappy Coco.
I am here to take a job from him.Copy !req
210. He isn't in right now.Copy !req
211. That's good. So I will wait, then.Copy !req
212. You know what! I'll take
one Fizzy Bubblech, a raspberry.Copy !req
213. You know,
he actually doesn't come in too often.Copy !req
214. Yes, just tell him I am perfect for this,
so let's go.Copy !req
215. - I am the best.
- The best at what!Copy !req
216. All of this. The cutting, the styling,
the making it silky smooth.Copy !req
217. I wanna know who cuts your hair.Copy !req
218. Oh, you like this, eh!Copy !req
219. This is the Avalon,
straight from the Paul Mitchell book.Copy !req
220. I haven't seen that style
since Luke married Laura.Copy !req
221. Sister, are you this Laura!Copy !req
222. You tell Paul Mitchell,
Scrappy Coco was here to see him.Copy !req
223. If I find out he was here...Copy !req
224. or you are keeping him
hidden from me...Copy !req
225. I will destroy you.Copy !req
226. Believe me this.Copy !req
227. What the hell was this, champ!
I'm not paying for that!Copy !req
228. This asshole cut me off,
made me swerve into you!Copy !req
229. With all due respect,
I was in the bicycle lane.Copy !req
230. You came like a madman.
Be glad nobody was hurt.Copy !req
231. I mean, somebody could've died.
I mean, you came...Copy !req
232. Okay, real mature, sir. Real mature.Copy !req
233. You do not want to be
throwing bicycles.Copy !req
234. Look, stay out of my business,
Mustafa.Copy !req
235. "Mustafa"! This is not my name.
Who tells you this is my name!Copy !req
236. Whatever.
Salami, bologna, apple sauce.Copy !req
237. Apple who!Copy !req
238. My friend, if I were you,
I would change the tone.Copy !req
239. Avoid the pain.Copy !req
240. Listen, go back to your goddamned
pretzel stand. We got it...Copy !req
241. - Look what I've got. It's right here.
- Please!Copy !req
242. - I've got it.
- Please, let me go.Copy !req
243. I never work at pretzel stand.
You like to insult people!Copy !req
244. Was that your feet!Copy !req
245. Yes, it's the feet. The feet uppercut.Copy !req
246. Here comes the double foot.Copy !req
247. This is good.Copy !req
248. Smell it, smell it, smell it.
Now take it.Copy !req
249. - That's for you.
- All right, let me go!Copy !req
250. You said you wanted pretzel!Copy !req
251. Okay, I'm good.Copy !req
252. Beautiful.Copy !req
253. You want some chickens!Copy !req
254. No, no, no. I fix for you.Copy !req
255. It's all b'seder.Copy !req
256. What are you, bionic!Copy !req
257. No, no, no. I only like the girls.Copy !req
258. Thanks, anyways.Copy !req
259. This is ridiculous traffic.Copy !req
260. Anyway, George insisted
we have the party.Copy !req
261. - I always get midnight shift.
- Could you keep it down, please!Copy !req
262. I no sleep,
I no see World Series Poker.Copy !req
263. Are you even watching the road!Copy !req
264. Be nice. He could be a terrorist.Copy !req
265. - Why Hamdi no get no midnight!
- Could you at least change the station!Copy !req
266. - Hey, that was amazing.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
267. Where are you from, anyway!Copy !req
268. Where am I from!Copy !req
269. Australia.Copy !req
270. Really!
Because you sound Middle Eastern.Copy !req
271. No, no, no. Similar accents.Copy !req
272. - Kangaroo. You see!
- Sure.Copy !req
273. This is ridiculous. We're getting out.Copy !req
274. - Come on, dear.
- I've been working longer than Hamdi.Copy !req
275. - You want me to get you home!
- No, I'll grab a cab.Copy !req
276. You've done enough.
That was crazy.Copy !req
277. Whose lockzie do I have to schluck?Copy !req
278. Oh, you know you're boning me.
I don't know that.Copy !req
279. It's you.Copy !req
280. - What is happening!
- What's happening!Copy !req
281. It's bullshaklaga.Copy !req
282. - We have to go.
- Go where!Copy !req
283. - I'll run you.
- What are you doing!Copy !req
284. This is legal!Copy !req
285. Scrappy, have another kneidlach.
Come on.Copy !req
286. You're very nice, Mrs. Klayman.Copy !req
287. It reminds me of my mother's cooking
in Australia.Copy !req
288. Really!
It's funny, you don't sound Australian.Copy !req
289. Yes, no, no, no.
This is because I am half Australian...Copy !req
290. half Mount Everest.Copy !req
291. So this is what you're hearing.Copy !req
292. Well, Australia,
it must be really nice there...Copy !req
293. since they got rid of the apartheid.Copy !req
294. Oh, yes, the weather is much cooler.Copy !req
295. So, Scrappy,
I understand you cut hair.Copy !req
296. I will be working
with Mr. Paul Mitchell...Copy !req
297. as soon as I find out
where they are hiding him.Copy !req
298. Oh, Mom, Scrappy
doesn't have a place to stay yet.Copy !req
299. - Really!
- Not yet.Copy !req
300. Well, actually,
there's a nice one-bedroom...Copy !req
301. that just opened up upstairs.Copy !req
302. Nice light, not huge.Copy !req
303. And they redid the kitchen very well.Copy !req
304. - This could be good.
- Could be good.Copy !req
305. Could be good.Copy !req
306. Hey, Mom,
do you know where the detergent is!Copy !req
307. - That's very good.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
308. What! What's the matter!Copy !req
309. What's the matter! That's my mom.Copy !req
310. - It's okay, Michael.
- I know it's your mother.Copy !req
311. She's very beautiful.Copy !req
312. Michael, I haven't made sticky
in two days.Copy !req
313. - What do you want from me!
- Couldn't you wait till I was asleep!Copy !req
314. - Or dead!
- No, Michael.Copy !req
315. You do... What's he doing now!Copy !req
316. Why'd that happen!
Why'd that happen!Copy !req
317. It's okay. Let me talk to him.Copy !req
318. Oh, I can't get up.Copy !req
319. No, no. You'll feel your legs again
in two hours.Copy !req
320. Michael.Copy !req
321. Come on, this is nothing
to feel bad about.Copy !req
322. Me sexing your mother.Copy !req
323. It's beautiful. It's natural.Copy !req
324. No, I didn't bring you home
to do it with my mother.Copy !req
325. Why not, huh!
You don't want her to be happy!Copy !req
326. Did you see her! Did you look at her!Copy !req
327. I don't think
I can ever look at her again.Copy !req
328. Michael, her face
during the big bang-boom!Copy !req
329. You did not see!Copy !req
330. She was glowing.Copy !req
331. Patches. What are you...!Copy !req
332. Michael, come on.Copy !req
333. They'll be plenty of time
for you and me.Copy !req
334. Tonight, I take you to disco, huh!
How's this!Copy !req
335. No, why would I wanna go
to a disco tonight!Copy !req
336. Michael, you should go. It'd be fun!Copy !req
337. You could use a little stank.Copy !req
338. Yes, you need your penachim
to take a swim.Copy !req
339. Yeah, a little chicken of the sea.
It wouldn't hurt.Copy !req
340. Disco, disco.
Let's do this, Michael. Yes or no!Copy !req
341. Come on, you get to disco.Copy !req
342. - All right, fine, I'll go to the disco.
- Okay.Copy !req
343. I do your mother one more time,
and then we go.Copy !req
344. - Wha...!
- Seconds already!Copy !req
345. Oh, yes.Copy !req
346. Hey. Look at this.Copy !req
347. This is what you need, man,
to let off a little steam, huh!Copy !req
348. How many times a day do you
make sticky! Two! Five! Twelve!Copy !req
349. How many times a day!
I've had sex once in my life.Copy !req
350. It was at tennis camp.
It was awful.Copy !req
351. You're too picky, Michael.
Maybe that's the problem.Copy !req
352. Every weed in the desert
is still a flower.Copy !req
353. Look at this. This a big one, eh!Copy !req
354. But look at the tits.
These will bounce nice for you.Copy !req
355. Your mother, she has huge poopeh.Copy !req
356. I mean, very wide.Copy !req
357. But what I see are two big, strong legs
wrapped around my head, squeezing.Copy !req
358. So who wants to get some
poontachen?Copy !req
359. - I wanna get some poontachen?
- Well, let's get some. Yes.Copy !req
360. It's good for you. Nice spinning.Copy !req
361. This is what I'm talking about.
You play this.Copy !req
362. - I ain't playing this corny shit.
- No, no.Copy !req
363. I need to set the
mood for my friend.Copy !req
364. Get out,
you Daisy Duke-wearing motherf...Copy !req
365. - Disco, disco.
- Good, good!Copy !req
366. - Disco, disco.
- Good, good!Copy !req
367. Yes, hello. Hello.Copy !req
368. Hey, Zohan.Copy !req
369. Who you looking for!Copy !req
370. It's okay, no one can hear me
in disco, Zohan.Copy !req
371. Can you believe the poontachat
in this place!Copy !req
372. I'm not Zohan.
My name is Scrappy Coco, my friend.Copy !req
373. What!
Of course you are Zohan Dvir.Copy !req
374. They all think you dead in Israel.
I'm not going to tell.Copy !req
375. Tell what!
I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
376. Zohan, it's okay.
Don't worry, I'm a huge fan.Copy !req
377. The way you took out
Abdullah Meda in '94.Copy !req
378. And when you made Melami Benazir
eat his own shit in '97.Copy !req
379. I can't believe I'm meeting you, man.Copy !req
380. So, what the fachma
are you doing here!Copy !req
381. Come with me.Copy !req
382. Look, I couldn't take
all the fighting anymore.Copy !req
383. - What's it all for!
- Are you crazy!Copy !req
384. If I could blow a terrorist
inside out like you...Copy !req
385. this is all I would do.
I'd never sleep.Copy !req
386. - This is exaggeration.
- No, it's not.Copy !req
387. You made Palami Habdallah's poodle
sit on a live grenade.Copy !req
388. - You gotta show me how you did that.
- I don't remember. I was young.Copy !req
389. So tell me the truth.
Why are you in America!Copy !req
390. I no want to tell you.Copy !req
391. What! What! Come on.Copy !req
392. You are the best, Zohan.
Whatever you say is good.Copy !req
393. I want to be hairdresser.Copy !req
394. You a fagala?Copy !req
395. I can't believe it.Copy !req
396. A great warrior, but also a fagala
with the penachim.Copy !req
397. No, no, no. I like hair.Copy !req
398. Come on, man, I get you real job.Copy !req
399. You come by my shop tomorrow.Copy !req
400. Israeli electronics. Are you crazy!Copy !req
401. - Everyone will recognize me.
- No, you don't look like same Zohan.Copy !req
402. You have silly haircut now.Copy !req
403. - I have what haircut!
- What!Copy !req
404. - You say I look silly!
- No, no. Who said this!Copy !req
405. - You said this.
- No, no. Nobody say nothing.Copy !req
406. I don't need your job.Copy !req
407. I get my own job on my own
at a big salon. You will see.Copy !req
408. You ever cut a sister's hair before!Copy !req
409. Yes. Sister, brother, grandma,
grandpa, the whole family.Copy !req
410. I'm good at this.Copy !req
411. Have you ever worked
with dreads before!Copy !req
412. This is what you do.Copy !req
413. No more. This creature slayed.Copy !req
414. It's not a problem. Okay, he's got me.
He's got me. He's got me. Okay.Copy !req
415. Okay. So we blind him in the eyes.
We got you.Copy !req
416. And we finish him.Copy !req
417. You back away, I take hold of him.
Go! Go! Go out! Go now!Copy !req
418. Go!Copy !req
419. This is hair. This is hair.Copy !req
420. Oh, okay. The joke's on me, eh!Copy !req
421. A big part of our job here
is making this a fun experience.Copy !req
422. Of course, of course.Copy !req
423. For a lot of kids, this is their first cut,
and it can be very frightening.Copy !req
424. - I can imagine.
- I don't want a haircut.Copy !req
425. Get away from me.Copy !req
426. Let me go.Copy !req
427. Young man, look what I found here.Copy !req
428. A nice balloon.Copy !req
429. Do you want it! It's right here.Copy !req
430. You shouldn't jump around...Copy !req
431. when this nice woman's
holding a sharp pair of scissors.Copy !req
432. If you move, she could slip and
slice your jugular vein on accident.Copy !req
433. There's no way to stitch the jugular.Copy !req
434. All of your blood will be on the floor
in four minutes.Copy !req
435. I've seen this. I've done this.
You don't want this.Copy !req
436. Well, then, at least it's a good time to
shave his neck. I would get him quick.Copy !req
437. When I was your age
I already killed seven men.Copy !req
438. Maybe you should grow up.Copy !req
439. I promise you you won't regret.Copy !req
440. And come back.Copy !req
441. "Fujigawa"! I don't know that brand.
It really isn't...Copy !req
442. It's not really Fujigawa.
It's Sony guts.Copy !req
443. - Wouldn't it be better with the Sony...
- Oh, no, no, no. This is what you want.Copy !req
444. - Four-hundred fifty.
- But the ad says "Sony," and "300."Copy !req
445. No, no, no. What you going to believe,
me or the ad! Four-fifty.Copy !req
446. Hello, Going Out of Business.
Can I help you!Copy !req
447. Sony, yes. Three hundred.Copy !req
448. Come in, yes. Very good, very good.Copy !req
449. Hi. I represent the new owner
of this building.Copy !req
450. Good for you. Want a birthday cake!
What do you want!Copy !req
451. Yamaha is very good.Copy !req
452. Did you receive our letter
regarding your rent!Copy !req
453. - This I don't know.
- It's being raised to 20,000 a month.Copy !req
454. No, no, no. This is too much.Copy !req
455. Eighty-five hundred
is all we'll give you.Copy !req
456. - This isn't negotiable. We can get...
- Ten thousand, that's all.Copy !req
457. We both go home happy.Copy !req
458. - I'm sorry. We can't settle for less.
- Okay, no deal.Copy !req
459. You come back when you
want to deal.Copy !req
460. - Sir, you don't understand.
- Go.Copy !req
461. What you still here for! You like me!
I have girlfriend. Go.Copy !req
462. Thank you very much.Copy !req
463. Hey, look who's here.Copy !req
464. Come on, not so loud.Copy !req
465. Don't worry, Zohan.
I tell you, they don't recognize you.Copy !req
466. Yosi. This is good man.
This Chocolaté Coco.Copy !req
467. - Scrappy Coco.
- Scrappy Coco.Copy !req
468. Cooking Who-co!Copy !req
469. Yes, yes.Copy !req
470. So you're going out of business!Copy !req
471. No, no, no, no. Is just a sign.
Is good for business.Copy !req
472. Yeah, so you look me up, man.
That's cool.Copy !req
473. I come for job.Copy !req
474. Job. So you not big hairstyle!Copy !req
475. It's not really happening for me
so far.Copy !req
476. So I am here. So let's go.Copy !req
477. No. No job.Copy !req
478. What do you mean!
You tell me to come here.Copy !req
479. I can no let you do this.
You want to be hair homo.Copy !req
480. No, so I do this for now.
It's all yofi tofi.Copy !req
481. Is no now.Copy !req
482. Once you start in electronics store,
you never get out.Copy !req
483. Look at Ephraim. You see!Copy !req
484. I don't see nothing wrong with that.
It's perfect.Copy !req
485. Ephraim came to America...Copy !req
486. to be racing car driver.Copy !req
487. But he let slip away.Copy !req
488. I can hear it. Look. Check your ear.Copy !req
489. Pinchas wanted to be
the next Bill Cosby.Copy !req
490. No. Is resistant, no proof.
You don't understand!Copy !req
491. But the store kept pulling him back.Copy !req
492. Maybe you swimming with the watch.Copy !req
493. - I'm not swimming...
- Is resistant.Copy !req
494. Yosi wanted to be a hand model.Copy !req
495. What, you don't like this! Look at this.
This is most beautiful.Copy !req
496. But he got too comfortable here.Copy !req
497. Press this button, it's free HBO.Copy !req
498. The electronics store
is a dream killer.Copy !req
499. And I won't let the Zohan
kill his dream.Copy !req
500. You are a real mensch, Oori.Copy !req
501. You the mensch.Copy !req
502. Come.Copy !req
503. What! What's this!Copy !req
504. You may not go for this,
but this place cross the street...Copy !req
505. - Yes!
- They maybe take you.Copy !req
506. - Is good place!
- No, is dump, but they take you.Copy !req
507. Is on Palestinian side of street.Copy !req
508. Palestinian!Copy !req
509. No, no, no.
Look, nobody kill you there.Copy !req
510. Here nobody care.Copy !req
511. First off, no one kill me anywhere.Copy !req
512. But Palestinian, no.Copy !req
513. I've done enough
to my parents already.Copy !req
514. I just want job for the Zohan.Copy !req
515. And it kills me
the way Phantom bastard...Copy !req
516. getting his buttochim kissed
in Palestine now.Copy !req
517. Buttochim kissed! What's this!Copy !req
518. He have business.Copy !req
519. He buy wives.Copy !req
520. Him!Copy !req
521. They say his ugly face everywhere.Copy !req
522. Everyone is running
To Phantom's Chewy MuchentuchenCopy !req
523. For the food the heroes eatCopy !req
524. Kubeh, sambouesk,
Delicious muchentuchenCopy !req
525. You never know who you'll meetCopy !req
526. You are going to get spoiled.Copy !req
527. Phantom Muchentuchen!Copy !req
528. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
529. This month,
order Muchentuchen Happy Lunch...Copy !req
530. and get action figures from
Phantom Presents: Death to Zohan.Copy !req
531. Unbelievable.Copy !req
532. This animal gets to live his dream.
But, me, l...Copy !req
533. I can no work Palestinian, no.
It's like... I can't do this.Copy !req
534. Yes, you can.Copy !req
535. Is your dream to cut hair.
You want fight, or you want hair!Copy !req
536. I want hair. But I'm scared.Copy !req
537. Is America.
You can do anything here.Copy !req
538. You never done something
people thought was impossible!Copy !req
539. So you don't want to talk, huh!
I'll make you talk.Copy !req
540. I can do this.Copy !req
541. Disco, disco, good, good.Copy !req
542. Disco, disco, good, good.Copy !req
543. Disco, disco, good, good.Copy !req
544. Disco, disco, good, good.Copy !req
545. Disco, disco, good, good.Copy !req
546. So you have never cut hair before.Copy !req
547. I have cut my own hair
and several dogs.Copy !req
548. I have the Paul Mitchell book,
I have the stamina, the desire...Copy !req
549. But you have no training
or experience.Copy !req
550. Would you hire someone
with experience in something else!Copy !req
551. In what!Copy !req
552. Can anyone here do this!Copy !req
553. Okay. I have never seen that.Copy !req
554. That is very nice,
but that is not going to help me.Copy !req
555. No hands.Copy !req
556. Besides, I have no openings.Copy !req
557. If anything, I need to scale back...Copy !req
558. since they just raised my rent
through the roof.Copy !req
559. Out of nowhere, some guy with a tie
comes in and tells me I need to pay.Copy !req
560. Stop it!Copy !req
561. I only wish to learn.Copy !req
562. I will do whatever it takes.Copy !req
563. Fine. You can sweep up hair
a few shifts a week.Copy !req
564. - You won't be...
- No pay.Copy !req
565. No, no, no.
But then, I will become stylist, yes!Copy !req
566. That could be a while.Copy !req
567. I will wait turn. You will see.Copy !req
568. I will get nighttime job for money.Copy !req
569. Soon the whole world
will be silky smooth.Copy !req
570. Zohan.Copy !req
571. - Carmen Electra has the best tits now.
- Oh, please.Copy !req
572. Oh, my God.
I wonder how much she paid for them.Copy !req
573. They're so perky.Copy !req
574. You know, leave it to her
to buy the best tits.Copy !req
575. It's always first class with that one.Copy !req
576. You know you don't have to catch
every piece of hair as it falls.Copy !req
577. Yes, I do. You deserve a perfect floor.
One single hair is unacceptable.Copy !req
578. As you were.Copy !req
579. Yes. I got this.Copy !req
580. "Did you see
the new Kate Hudson movie!Copy !req
581. I think she is even more vivacious
than her mother."Copy !req
582. Scrappeleh, that's wonderful.
Now, let's practice on Michael.Copy !req
583. Michael!
Could you come in here, please!Copy !req
584. What! What is...!Copy !req
585. Oh, Scrappy needs to practice
small-talking.Copy !req
586. Can we do this another time! I have
a shot at keeping my food down.Copy !req
587. Michael, I want to practice now.Copy !req
588. I'm afraid I'm terrible at this.
Why won't you help me!Copy !req
589. Oh, honey.
You are good at everything you do.Copy !req
590. - Got it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
591. So you're making her silky smooth,
huh, Claude!Copy !req
592. - Framing her face!
- Yeah, Scrappy. I'm framing her face.Copy !req
593. This is smart.Copy !req
594. A nice layered style
with the soft bangs...Copy !req
595. is good for a bigger woman
like this.Copy !req
596. - Coco.
- Takes the eyes off the moon face...Copy !req
597. and brings it toward the titzim.Copy !req
598. Coco.Copy !req
599. I need to speak to you.Copy !req
600. In private.Copy !req
601. Private. A secret!Copy !req
602. They will never get it out of me,
I promise you.Copy !req
603. Coco, Claude is trying to work.Copy !req
604. Yes. He's very good.Copy !req
605. So I am ready to cut hair today.
So let's go, let's get it on.Copy !req
606. No. Let's not go.Copy !req
607. But I am the best.Copy !req
608. Don't tell me you're the best.Copy !req
609. - I have the desire, the stamina.
- You've been here two days.Copy !req
610. I run this place for five years.Copy !req
611. I think I know when you are ready
to cut hair.Copy !req
612. Okay, Jeez! Get a room, you two.Copy !req
613. No, no, no.Copy !req
614. I do not touch this
with your penachim.Copy !req
615. Out of respect for the working.Copy !req
616. No, you don't eat where you shit.Copy !req
617. Or shit where you eat.
Whatever the...Copy !req
618. The smell is bad.Copy !req
619. This is called a comb.Copy !req
620. - With the fingers!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.Copy !req
621. - Scrappy.
- I'm sorry. Here, I take your leg up.Copy !req
622. I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry.Copy !req
623. - Okay. All right.
- I apologize.Copy !req
624. - Take him where he wants to go.
- Thank you. Okay.Copy !req
625. - Good luck.
- It will be fine.Copy !req
626. - Your limousine has arrived, sir.
- You're observant, Tyler.Copy !req
627. Thank you, Big Mac.Copy !req
628. I am really late for a hotel opening
downtown. The Walbridge Hotel.Copy !req
629. I understand, sir. I know the
neighborhoods inside and backwards.Copy !req
630. - We will not let them stop us.
- What!Copy !req
631. I'm not in much of a hurry.Copy !req
632. Oh, no.Copy !req
633. You want some coffee back there!Copy !req
634. No!Copy !req
635. I will lose them.Copy !req
636. Nobody is following us.Copy !req
637. Oh, shit!Copy !req
638. Have a good time, sir.Copy !req
639. Debbie, you did a good job.Copy !req
640. You look very bangable,
Mrs. Rosen.Copy !req
641. Mrs. Paulson, I must tell you...Copy !req
642. when you first came in,
you looked hideous.Copy !req
643. There was nothing attractive.Copy !req
644. But now, I must say,
my schtitzel, it's about to burst.Copy !req
645. - It could break these any...
- What are you doing!Copy !req
646. We are talking shop.Copy !req
647. No. No.Copy !req
648. - Look, Coco...
- What!Copy !req
649. You need to calm down now, okay!Copy !req
650. I don't think these customers
like the way you talk shop.Copy !req
651. Nobody say this.Copy !req
652. Coco, remember,
respect for the workplace.Copy !req
653. I have betrayed my salon.Copy !req
654. He's trying to kill himself.Copy !req
655. - Scrappy.
- I deserve this.Copy !req
656. No, no. Just... Just...Copy !req
657. Easy on the ladies.Copy !req
658. I didn't mind.Copy !req
659. Take care, Mrs. Paulson.Copy !req
660. She did not mind.Copy !req
661. Let me disinfect the scissors...Copy !req
662. so someone else
can make someone else silky smooth.Copy !req
663. I'll just clean up.Copy !req
664. Rafaela's Salon.Copy !req
665. What! No.Copy !req
666. Debbie, she quit.Copy !req
667. - What!
- Sorry.Copy !req
668. Claude, did you know about this!Copy !req
669. I should have told you.Copy !req
670. She's been looking for a new job
since those rent guys came around.Copy !req
671. Then why you no say nothing,
little bitch!Copy !req
672. Don't worry,
I'm not giving up on this place.Copy !req
673. You're a good guy, habibi.
I just... I don't know what to do.Copy !req
674. So let's go.Copy !req
675. Scrappy, I have enough problems
right now.Copy !req
676. I not the problem. I the solution. I fix.Copy !req
677. But if you screw up...Copy !req
678. I can't afford a screwup right now.Copy !req
679. No, no, no. I no screw up.
I am the best for the job.Copy !req
680. Yeah, but you push and push.
"When is my turn"!Copy !req
681. I have to care about salon.Copy !req
682. - No, no, no.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
683. You care about you. And don't fight
in front of the customer.Copy !req
684. Mrs. Skitzer,
I am afraid our stylist is out today.Copy !req
685. Would you care to wait for Claude!Copy !req
686. Does he do hair!Copy !req
687. He's not a regular.Copy !req
688. Well, that's fine.Copy !req
689. She say...
I mean, only if it's okay with Dalia.Copy !req
690. Okay.Copy !req
691. You will not regret this decision.Copy !req
692. Mrs. Skitzer, let's cut your hair.Copy !req
693. Just lay back, Mrs. Skitzer.
I'll take care of everything.Copy !req
694. - Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
695. Sexy woman like you
deserves to be pampered.Copy !req
696. Me, sexy! Sure.Copy !req
697. Don't be humble.Copy !req
698. You've got the ass and tits
of a schoolgirl and you know it.Copy !req
699. And everyone else knows this too,
believe me.Copy !req
700. Yes.Copy !req
701. Let me get your earring off.Copy !req
702. I love it.Copy !req
703. Of course you do.
I make you silky smooth. I tell you this.Copy !req
704. All right, Scrappy.
You can cut Debbie's clients today.Copy !req
705. If they want you.Copy !req
706. Thank you.Copy !req
707. I'll get to you all soon as I'm
all the way done with Mrs. Skitzer.Copy !req
708. That all you got, Mrs. Skitzer!Copy !req
709. Come on, baby. Go, baby. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
710. So who's next!Copy !req
711. Come on, Scrappy!Copy !req
712. Thank you, dear.Copy !req
713. - It's a lot of speakers.
- Yes. Yes.Copy !req
714. It's orgasmic.Copy !req
715. Oh, my God.Copy !req
716. Oh, yes!Copy !req
717. Grab it, Scrappy!Copy !req
718. For you. Yes.Copy !req
719. I give this to you.Copy !req
720. - No. I am sorry, Mr. Paul Mitchell.
- Hear me out, Scrappy, please.Copy !req
721. I'll give you stock options.
I'll name a shampoo after you.Copy !req
722. No, my loyalty is to here.
I will destroy you.Copy !req
723. I heard about this place
from Joanne.Copy !req
724. You have to ask for Scrappy.Copy !req
725. Yes, is the primary
cardholder present!Copy !req
726. Excuse me!Copy !req
727. Hello, I am calling
from Spiegel catalogue.Copy !req
728. Are you between the ages
of 18 and 39!Copy !req
729. We're trying to talk here.Copy !req
730. Have you ordered from catalogue
in past six months!Copy !req
731. Could you get off the phone
while you drive!Copy !req
732. Hey, what's the matter!
I trying to make a living, do my job.Copy !req
733. This is your job.Copy !req
734. This is job also.Copy !req
735. This is not Iraq.Copy !req
736. I am Palestine, I'm not Iraq.Copy !req
737. And you're not getting a tip.Copy !req
738. And you are a stupid cow.Copy !req
739. Jeez.Copy !req
740. - And we're done. Okay, you, skedaddle.
- Thanks so much.Copy !req
741. - I'll see you later.
- All right.Copy !req
742. I like this, the red hair.Copy !req
743. I bet she has a pumpkin patch
down below, yes!Copy !req
744. I don't know.Copy !req
745. - Did you tap her tuchus?
- No.Copy !req
746. Why don't you go after
the snatchacheem in this place!Copy !req
747. They all want you, believe me.Copy !req
748. Scrappy, I wouldn't be so sure.Copy !req
749. I'm telling you,
you're not picking up the signs.Copy !req
750. Come with me.
I'll show you a technique. It's beautiful.Copy !req
751. Hello, Mrs. Haynes. How are you!
You want the cut and color today!Copy !req
752. Yes, please. Thanks.Copy !req
753. Watch.Copy !req
754. You see! She's going with it.
It's good.Copy !req
755. Yep.Copy !req
756. - She has a free shoulder. Come join.
- I'm good.Copy !req
757. Mrs. Haynes,
you're getting cold here.Copy !req
758. Claude, come. Keep her warm.Copy !req
759. Go ahead. Yes.Copy !req
760. And gently move.
Gently move the shoulder.Copy !req
761. All you want to do is let her know
you're here for her.Copy !req
762. Now look away
like you're not even doing it.Copy !req
763. We're not doing this.Copy !req
764. - Same rhythm.
- Okay.Copy !req
765. Push. Push. Push.Copy !req
766. Oh, you're pushing harder.
It's starting to feel good on my end.Copy !req
767. I am trying to make money
to start my own business, huh.Copy !req
768. Would you say you read Spiegel
once a month, twice...Copy !req
769. Would you just get us
to the hair salon!Copy !req
770. We're gonna miss our appointment.Copy !req
771. I curse you, and I curse your hair.Copy !req
772. What is big deal
about this hair place anyway!Copy !req
773. They get worse every year.Copy !req
774. Okay, we'll take them to the truck.
We'll just talk to them. But we'll find a...Copy !req
775. Did you throw this shoe at me,
my friend!Copy !req
776. No!Copy !req
777. Sure looks like it was you.Copy !req
778. Then who threw it!Copy !req
779. Okay. You're lucky I'm in good mood.
I'll let you off the hook.Copy !req
780. Nobody spits on me.Copy !req
781. Thank you for the goat, my friend.Copy !req
782. Yes.Copy !req
783. Goat!Copy !req
784. Goat.Copy !req
785. Goat!Copy !req
786. Goat!Copy !req
787. Goat.Copy !req
788. I said, "Can we have the receipt!"Copy !req
789. Yes. Die in hell.Copy !req
790. Welcome.Copy !req
791. We'll color your hair Bling-Bling
Blond. This is what you need.Copy !req
792. You know what else they go for!Copy !req
793. The... I don't know what you have,
but mine is the biggest.Copy !req
794. This...
It does not get bigger than this.Copy !req
795. It's enormous. Scary. I mean:Copy !req
796. What!Copy !req
797. I have the biggest. It's the biggest.Copy !req
798. Take a look at this.Copy !req
799. Look.Copy !req
800. - It's not that big.
- It's not that...!Copy !req
801. No, no, no. The bush.Copy !req
802. The bush is the biggest.Copy !req
803. And the girls like this
because it's cushion.Copy !req
804. It is no bullshaklaga. He is the one.
I never forget a face.Copy !req
805. So, what do you want I do!Copy !req
806. Wait. I conference you.Copy !req
807. Hello!Copy !req
808. Nasi, emergency meeting.
You're on with Hamdi as well.Copy !req
809. - Hello, Nasi.
- Hello, Hamdi.Copy !req
810. Can you believe
how much they pay Delgado!Copy !req
811. Yes. Why Mets do this!Copy !req
812. This is serious. We meet!Copy !req
813. I explain why is emergency.Copy !req
814. This is not just man
who take my goat.Copy !req
815. - Zohan Dvir.
- Yes.Copy !req
816. Everyone think Phantom kill him.Copy !req
817. Phantom not kill him.Copy !req
818. We will capture,
then make trade with Israel.Copy !req
819. We will be heroes.Copy !req
820. But, Salim, we are not Jihadim. We
don't know for sure that this is him.Copy !req
821. Let's call Hamas, Hezbollah.
Let them handle this.Copy !req
822. - Leave it to the pros.
- No.Copy !req
823. Hezbollah shmezbollah.Copy !req
824. Hezbollah will take all the credit.
This is our shot.Copy !req
825. Why not let Phantom capture him!Copy !req
826. Screw Phantom. He hero already.Copy !req
827. Where's my chain
of muchentuchen restaurants!Copy !req
828. Salim, don't make this
about yourself.Copy !req
829. This is about me.Copy !req
830. And about him.Copy !req
831. And about my goat!Copy !req
832. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
833. This is nice,
the walking inside the outside.Copy !req
834. The park, the people,
the horses, the kid.Copy !req
835. Well, you're always downtown.Copy !req
836. You should see
a little more of New York.Copy !req
837. Yes, yes, this is good.Copy !req
838. The talking is good...Copy !req
839. to get to know each other
before the bang-boom. I like.Copy !req
840. Oh, no, no, no.
There will be no bang-booming.Copy !req
841. I just wanted to thank you
for saving my business.Copy !req
842. - This isn't a date.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
843. I feel you have helped me so much...Copy !req
844. The right thing to do
is to tap you so hard...Copy !req
845. my schtitzel will come out
your poopech. That's what I think.Copy !req
846. Look, why don't we
just enjoy the park!Copy !req
847. No, no, no. This is what we do.Copy !req
848. Hey, look, softball.Copy !req
849. - You like softball!
- Of course, I love softball.Copy !req
850. What is softball! Teach me how to.Copy !req
851. I learned softball
when I came to the States.Copy !req
852. When you're Arab, it helps to fit in.Copy !req
853. Yeah, how long you move here ago!Copy !req
854. Just a few years ago.Copy !req
855. I couldn't take it there anymore.
All the hate, on both sides.Copy !req
856. Yes, especially yours.Copy !req
857. Why you say this! You don't know.Copy !req
858. No, no, I don't. I read this.Copy !req
859. The Australian-Tibet media
is very biased.Copy !req
860. Look, both sides crazy.Copy !req
861. My own family...Copy !req
862. My brother...Copy !req
863. if he knew I work cross street
from Israelis, he would lose it.Copy !req
864. - Really!
- You have the hardcores on both sides.Copy !req
865. They just want to fight and fight.Copy !req
866. Nobody will win this way.
It has to stop.Copy !req
867. When will it end, eh! Yes.Copy !req
868. Okay, so you must be thirsty, no!Copy !req
869. Here.Copy !req
870. Where you get this!Copy !req
871. This! From specialty shop
on West Side.Copy !req
872. This Middle Eastern drink.
You know this! Fizzy Bubblech!Copy !req
873. No, no, no. It looks pretty good.Copy !req
874. Oh, try, try. It's very good.
Try, have a sip.Copy !req
875. It's not for me.Copy !req
876. No! Really!Copy !req
877. This is his shop.Copy !req
878. Here is photo for compare.Copy !req
879. For how long this take!
I close the newsstand.Copy !req
880. Make sure you ask him
if he ever hit by shoe.Copy !req
881. And about the prize goat
that can fetch a bowl of onion soup.Copy !req
882. Look in his eyes when you
ask him this, for they will be suffering.Copy !req
883. - You know, I just got haircut.
- Go.Copy !req
884. Look at this. I feel like Hugh Hefner
with all you little bunnies around here.Copy !req
885. Okay, okay,
let's see who is going next.Copy !req
886. "Jorge Posada," where are you!Copy !req
887. That's me.Copy !req
888. Okay, good-looking guy,
you take a seat there. You're next.Copy !req
889. You know, you look like
you already just got haircut.Copy !req
890. No, no.Copy !req
891. So I guessing you're looking for
something in the silky smooth area!Copy !req
892. - Well...
- Because I see you have nice curls.Copy !req
893. You don't want to
cut into those curls.Copy !req
894. We will talk about this over there.Copy !req
895. Okay, Scrappy, I wait.Copy !req
896. Is not like I have a shoe to throw.Copy !req
897. Sure. Yes. Beautiful. Whatever.Copy !req
898. I don't have time to go watch
a goat fetch soap.Copy !req
899. - What!
- What! I don't know.Copy !req
900. Listen, my friend...Copy !req
901. you want to talk, it's good,
but you have to wait your turn.Copy !req
902. First I have to cut and bang
Mrs. Greenhouse.Copy !req
903. - That's right.
- Okay.Copy !req
904. Well, I'm ready for it.Copy !req
905. Oh, dear.Copy !req
906. I am sorry, Mrs. Greenhouse.
I am not man enough for you today.Copy !req
907. Oh, Scrappy, it's fine.Copy !req
908. I don't know what the problem is.
I am going to lose business.Copy !req
909. Oh, no, dear. You're still adorable.Copy !req
910. The screwing
was really just a bonus.Copy !req
911. You are an angel, Mrs. Greenhouse.Copy !req
912. An angel with a magic throat.Copy !req
913. Oh, Scrappy!Copy !req
914. No, that could work.
One more, please.Copy !req
915. Let's see what we got.Copy !req
916. And we're still nothing.Copy !req
917. Well!Copy !req
918. He was very cool.Copy !req
919. Idiot. What did he say!Copy !req
920. He think I have nice curls
that go well with a full face.Copy !req
921. - But was it him!
- Well, it looked like him.Copy !req
922. But hard to know.Copy !req
923. I tell you this: he didn't seem to care
when I talk about goat fetching soap.Copy !req
924. Soup. The goat fetched soup.
You ruin everything.Copy !req
925. Soup! This makes no sense.Copy !req
926. Screw you. It's him. I know it's him.Copy !req
927. The goat fetched soup!
This is unbelievable.Copy !req
928. Go to hell.Copy !req
929. You said it was urgent!Copy !req
930. It's an emergency.
Please, take a look.Copy !req
931. Yes, yes.Copy !req
932. Well, that's not a real problem.
You can always shave it.Copy !req
933. No, not the bush.Copy !req
934. No, inside the bush.
Look deeper. Him.Copy !req
935. - I see.
- He lays in there all day long.Copy !req
936. Maybe it needs some more oxygen.
It looks like it's being strangled.Copy !req
937. So the Palestinian says to the priest:Copy !req
938. "Okay, but let's skip the bath."Copy !req
939. Why, are they not clean!Copy !req
940. No, is good joke.Copy !req
941. Honey, are you all right!
You've been in there for over an hour.Copy !req
942. What is this stuff! I mean, I took one
sip and I repainted the whole toilet.Copy !req
943. Is Fizzy Bubblech.
You'll get used to it, relax.Copy !req
944. I don't wanna get used to it.
My car couldn't.Copy !req
945. - All right, that's it for me. I'm done.
- What! What!Copy !req
946. Is everything all right!Copy !req
947. - Is it about the pee-pee!
- Stop it.Copy !req
948. - The pee-pee!
- He can't do with his peepeechosetz.Copy !req
949. Really!
He's usually as hard as trigonometry.Copy !req
950. - Mom. What...!
- When did this happen!Copy !req
951. The last few days.Copy !req
952. Of course. It's ever since
you went out with that Dalia.Copy !req
953. Your hog is telling you something.
She must be the one.Copy !req
954. The one!Copy !req
955. Is this possible!Copy !req
956. Of course it's possible, man.Copy !req
957. All the beaverim in the world
and he falls for Palestinian muffich.Copy !req
958. Why should Scrappy care
if she's Palestinian!Copy !req
959. He's from Australia and Tibet.
He's not Israeli.Copy !req
960. - No, no, no.
- Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
961. Exactly.Copy !req
962. What was that, a motor boat!Copy !req
963. You know, Scrappy...Copy !req
964. a special woman is special
no matter where she's from.Copy !req
965. Listen to your hog.Copy !req
966. Someone special.Copy !req
967. Maybe is good.Copy !req
968. It's good! It's terrific!Copy !req
969. I mean, you know,
you guys won't be together anymore...Copy !req
970. but Scrappy is in love.
That's great, awesome.Copy !req
971. Thank you for your support.Copy !req
972. - Is a good boy.
- Good boy.Copy !req
973. This is fun. Let's celebrate.
Where's the cat!Copy !req
974. Let's cat-sack, huh! Throw it to me.Copy !req
975. - Got you.
- Let's play, man.Copy !req
976. Take it, Michael.Copy !req
977. Look at you.Copy !req
978. I wanna try it.Copy !req
979. Is good.Copy !req
980. Welcome to Hezbollah phone line.Copy !req
981. For membership information,
press one.Copy !req
982. For negotiation update, press two.Copy !req
983. For bonus mile information,
press three.Copy !req
984. For terrorist supplies, press four.Copy !req
985. We have currently suspended
our terrorist supply service...Copy !req
986. as we are engaged
in negotiations with Israel.Copy !req
987. We will resume service as soon as
negotiations break down. Thank you.Copy !req
988. Great.Copy !req
989. Come on. Just think of a bomb.Copy !req
990. They say you can make bomb from
everyday's material. You combine.Copy !req
991. Yes, okay.
But what we combination!Copy !req
992. Just think of chemicals.Copy !req
993. Chemicals, like in science class.Copy !req
994. Yes.Copy !req
995. Who remembers this stuff!Copy !req
996. Hello.Copy !req
997. Well, can I help you fellas
find anything!Copy !req
998. Yes, do you have...Copy !req
999. "liquid nitrogen."Copy !req
1000. You need what!Copy !req
1001. Liquid nitrogen.Copy !req
1002. Yeah. Well, I suppose
we have some of that.Copy !req
1003. Now, just a moment.Copy !req
1004. - This is it!
- Yes, and that's the large container.Copy !req
1005. This works!Copy !req
1006. Oh, it works quite well. Yes.Copy !req
1007. You use!Copy !req
1008. From time to time. Sure.Copy !req
1009. We'll take 12.Copy !req
1010. Look, you can turn off the water...Copy !req
1011. but we will find a way
to keep on going.Copy !req
1012. Oh, you like when I spray you,
Mrs. Skitzer!Copy !req
1013. Where's the $ 14,000!Copy !req
1014. I have your rent right here.
There is no getting rid of me.Copy !req
1015. We don't wanna get rid of you.Copy !req
1016. Mr. Walbridge would actually like to
relocate your salon in our new mall.Copy !req
1017. You mean the one you want to destroy
this community to build!Copy !req
1018. It is not our intent
to destroy this community.Copy !req
1019. I'll take the community, Pancake.Copy !req
1020. My name is Gray, and I'll be back.Copy !req
1021. Nice to meet you, Pancake.Copy !req
1022. Why Pancake!Copy !req
1023. Just for fun.Copy !req
1024. You were amazing right there.Copy !req
1025. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1026. What!Copy !req
1027. I have one.Copy !req
1028. What!Copy !req
1029. I have zikpah.Copy !req
1030. Look at it.Copy !req
1031. It is you.Copy !req
1032. Dalia, I don't know how to tell you this.
I cannot make sticky with anyone else.Copy !req
1033. You are the special one.Copy !req
1034. I will only be stiff for you.Copy !req
1035. Who is Steve!Copy !req
1036. Stiff, with an F.Copy !req
1037. - Stiff. Stiff.
- Yes.Copy !req
1038. Okay...Copy !req
1039. I know you meant that
in a good way...Copy !req
1040. The best of ways.Copy !req
1041. - so thank you.Copy !req
1042. Thank you.Copy !req
1043. Is crazy.Copy !req
1044. This has never happened.Copy !req
1045. One woman...Copy !req
1046. one zikpah...Copy !req
1047. one life.Copy !req
1048. You see his face!
Scared Israeli son of bitch.Copy !req
1049. Salim, this is not bomb.Copy !req
1050. What you mean "not bomb"!Copy !req
1051. It's grade A liquid nitrogen.Copy !req
1052. Guys, I really need to go home.Copy !req
1053. Inaz have a soccer match
in the morning.Copy !req
1054. - I am hero.
- Salim, this not bomb. It just go:Copy !req
1055. Well, just go with it.Copy !req
1056. I scraped some off the window.Copy !req
1057. Maybe you know what is!Copy !req
1058. It's Neosporin, it's nothing.
I use it for cuts and genital sores.Copy !req
1059. We're beginning to think
maybe someone out to get the Zo...Copy !req
1060. The Scrappy.Copy !req
1061. You mean like a competing salon!
That's heavy.Copy !req
1062. Don't be afraid, honey.
Don't be afraid.Copy !req
1063. Well, I...Copy !req
1064. Yeah, lick this.
No, she likes the tongue in the ear.Copy !req
1065. Oh, I like that bet... Oh, I like that.Copy !req
1066. Close with the brenski.Copy !req
1067. Come on, get some saliva
on those bad boys.Copy !req
1068. - She likes it, huh!
- Of course she likes it.Copy !req
1069. Okay.Copy !req
1070. I could look for clues. It's my shift
for community night watch.Copy !req
1071. The what!
The communism tight crotch!Copy !req
1072. Oh, it's the community
night watch program.Copy !req
1073. You know, people in the neighborhood
patrolling it, keeping it safe.Copy !req
1074. We kick some ass.Copy !req
1075. Hey, why don't you let Scrappy Coco
take your shift tonight!Copy !req
1076. - I bet he'd be good at this.
- Oori.Copy !req
1077. What! For clues.Copy !req
1078. I know it sounds scary, Scrappy,
but you are gonna be just fine.Copy !req
1079. Maybe I can manage one night.Copy !req
1080. Maybe you can pretzel some people.Copy !req
1081. - Thank you for getting the hummus.
- The hummus.Copy !req
1082. Where's Patches!Copy !req
1083. Patches.Copy !req
1084. I'm terrified right now.
I'm totally terrified.Copy !req
1085. "Shitting my pants"
doesn't come close.Copy !req
1086. I wish I was shitting my pants.Copy !req
1087. It's just a patrol.Copy !req
1088. What if something goes down!Copy !req
1089. I don't know if I'd have the courage.Copy !req
1090. What if something goes down
and someone got killed!Copy !req
1091. I would have to live with that.
I'd be happier shitting my pants.Copy !req
1092. Much happier.Copy !req
1093. - Let's go.
- We're supposed to call the police.Copy !req
1094. No. No time.Copy !req
1095. No, no. No. It's good.Copy !req
1096. Drop the paint.Copy !req
1097. Get out of here, Ahab,
or I'll cut your eyes out.Copy !req
1098. - Maybe we should let him finish.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1099. What you cut my eyes out with!
The Neosporin!Copy !req
1100. My blade, camel jockey.Copy !req
1101. My friend, the beating I give you
if you stop the spraying...Copy !req
1102. is much less than the beating
I give you if you try to cut me.Copy !req
1103. What are you laughing at!Copy !req
1104. That was just with everyone.Copy !req
1105. They had it coming to them, right!Copy !req
1106. Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah.Copy !req
1107. - Okay, you take it from here.
- I got it.Copy !req
1108. Everything's gonna be okay.Copy !req
1109. What you gotta say about that, huh!Copy !req
1110. You're telling me
our guys can't handle...Copy !req
1111. some neighborhood
night-watching losers!Copy !req
1112. We can't even put a scare
into these people!Copy !req
1113. The main guy who got in the way...Copy !req
1114. is the same one who's bringing
old biddies into Rafaela Salon.Copy !req
1115. My aunt goes there.Copy !req
1116. She says besides the sex,
the guy gives a pretty good haircut.Copy !req
1117. Don't talk to me about that dump.Copy !req
1118. I've got a huge,
classy hotel standing there...Copy !req
1119. and it's staring
at that cheap garbage.Copy !req
1120. I want it staring at the Supercuts.Copy !req
1121. Now, has anyone made any headway
with any of these foreign people!Copy !req
1122. I spoke to the manager of Going
Out Of Business again yesterday.Copy !req
1123. I stated our price
and the urgency of the matter...Copy !req
1124. and he offered me two-thirds less
and a Toshiba DVD player.Copy !req
1125. The people at Everything Must Go
were just as difficult.Copy !req
1126. They offered me a Blu-ray disc
and a jar of hummus.Copy !req
1127. What's hummus!Copy !req
1128. It's a very tasty...Copy !req
1129. diarrhea-like substance.Copy !req
1130. Grant Walbridge has a vision.Copy !req
1131. A vision for Lower Manhattan
to have the first indoor mall...Copy !req
1132. with its own 300-foot
roller coaster.Copy !req
1133. You know, you're lucky I have
a world-class superhot girlfriend...Copy !req
1134. with a perfectly proportioned
ass-to-breast ratio...Copy !req
1135. or I'd be furious.Copy !req
1136. She is smoking, sir.Copy !req
1137. I'd pay
to spend an hour with her, sir.Copy !req
1138. Let me in on that.Copy !req
1139. Well, thank you.Copy !req
1140. But if you bitches
can't get those people out...Copy !req
1141. I will find other people
who will get the job done.Copy !req
1142. However, whenever.Copy !req
1143. Walbridge!Copy !req
1144. This is where I find them.Copy !req
1145. But I don't know if it's same people
who try to Neosporin salon.Copy !req
1146. But you caught them writing this crap,
so, what do you do!Copy !req
1147. - You don't mess with the Zohan.
- Check it.Copy !req
1148. - Disco.
- Disco.Copy !req
1149. - Good.
- Good.Copy !req
1150. Why did you do this
to Naseef's store, huh!Copy !req
1151. Why you blame the Israelis!Copy !req
1152. We come to work,
go out of business.Copy !req
1153. No, no, no.
Is not Israeli who do this.Copy !req
1154. I do community watch.
Don't worry, it's all taken care of.Copy !req
1155. Not Israeli! Who else would write
"Arab go home"!Copy !req
1156. Oh, I don't know,
just maybe 99 percent of the world.Copy !req
1157. - You see what he says!
- That was joke.Copy !req
1158. Come on, come on.
You guys get along here, stop this.Copy !req
1159. Yeah, here it's okay. It's just there,
the war is never going to end.Copy !req
1160. You know, we were so close to peace
before the asshole shot Rabin.Copy !req
1161. Bush, he see the big picture.Copy !req
1162. Bush no want peace,
he set it all back.Copy !req
1163. What about Bush's wife!
This is a wife I would get sticky with.Copy !req
1164. I would do this. I would do this.Copy !req
1165. - Yes, yes.
- What about Clinton! I would do Hillary.Copy !req
1166. The big legs.Copy !req
1167. Yeah, she look strict,
like she's going to teach me a lesson.Copy !req
1168. - Yes, discipline.
- You know what's funny!Copy !req
1169. I like Chelsea.Copy !req
1170. You're crazy.Copy !req
1171. She has beautiful legs.Copy !req
1172. If I want legs, I'll take Obama's wife.
She has legs.Copy !req
1173. This is what happens
when they talk politics.Copy !req
1174. No, no, no, wife of McCain!Copy !req
1175. She has the ass,
and you know she's not getting any.Copy !req
1176. I understand my assistant
explained the job to you.Copy !req
1177. He told us. You wanna get
some people out your building...Copy !req
1178. so you can build
some kind of roller coaster mall.Copy !req
1179. Sir, I just wanna thank you
for this opportunity.Copy !req
1180. I mean, it's a gift to mess with the Jews
and the terrorists on the same night.Copy !req
1181. I mean, it's like...Copy !req
1182. - It's like...
- Christmas in July.Copy !req
1183. It's like Christmas in July.Copy !req
1184. Right now
we are scheduled to sabotage...Copy !req
1185. a black peoples' parade
in Chicago...Copy !req
1186. but we can move that.Copy !req
1187. Well, I'm not really quite sure
how you move a parade.Copy !req
1188. That's easy, it's just a phone call.Copy !req
1189. Well, we'll be calling back
to make the arrangements.Copy !req
1190. Can I just say that I don't like
most rich people, but you get it.Copy !req
1191. We built this country
on the right to bear arms.Copy !req
1192. Now they're trying to tell me how many
bullets my gun can shoot per second.Copy !req
1193. They're trying to tell me
whether I can stockpile weapons...Copy !req
1194. in the shed behind my house.Copy !req
1195. - Right, by God.
- Anyway, you're a rich guy that gets it.Copy !req
1196. You and Mel Gibson.Copy !req
1197. Mel Gibson. Not too shabby.Copy !req
1198. Welcome to Hezbollah
customer service.Copy !req
1199. All lines are busy now.Copy !req
1200. Your call will be received
in... minutes.Copy !req
1201. Come on with this.
How we find Phantom!Copy !req
1202. Well, he probably hang
at the muchentuchen restaurant.Copy !req
1203. Okay, but which!
He have, like, 200.Copy !req
1204. Probably in Amman.Copy !req
1205. In downtown
he get the hottest poochibaba.Copy !req
1206. What's the area code of Amman!Copy !req
1207. Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen.Copy !req
1208. Yes. I want speak Phantom.Copy !req
1209. What say! No English.Copy !req
1210. Idiot.Copy !req
1211. Want speak to Phantom.Copy !req
1212. No, no, no. Phantom not here.
Phantom Muchentuchen.Copy !req
1213. Yeah, yeah, I know.
But Phantom no come!Copy !req
1214. But what about for poonibaba!Copy !req
1215. No, no, poonibaba at store
on 3rd and Lachalta.Copy !req
1216. Oh, okay. So you have number
for store!Copy !req
1217. You call information.Copy !req
1218. You don't have number
for other store!Copy !req
1219. It's somewhere. I don't know.Copy !req
1220. Come on, get number! I calling from
America, fry bitch! I very important.Copy !req
1221. Salim, the kids.Copy !req
1222. When she is grown up
she will understand!Copy !req
1223. Hello.Copy !req
1224. I find the Zohan.
You not kill the Zohan.Copy !req
1225. I kill the Zohan.Copy !req
1226. No, you did not.
I find him in America.Copy !req
1227. I prove. I send you picture on cell.Copy !req
1228. Okay. Bring this.Copy !req
1229. I am bringing.Copy !req
1230. You see?Copy !req
1231. But the hairstyle, it is hideous.Copy !req
1232. This is same Zohan.Copy !req
1233. What he thinking! He look like guy
from Who's the Boss?Copy !req
1234. Look, this is same Zohan.Copy !req
1235. Everybody think you big hero.
But I tell everyone you not big hero.Copy !req
1236. Okay, okay, okay!
What you want, huh!Copy !req
1237. I want muchentuchen
restaurant chain.Copy !req
1238. No.Copy !req
1239. But if I tell,
you no have chain anyway.Copy !req
1240. So you not give any incentive.Copy !req
1241. Okay. I want 50 percent
of muchentuchen chain.Copy !req
1242. - Phantom & Salim Muchentuchen.
- No.Copy !req
1243. - Twenty-five percent.
- No.Copy !req
1244. I want yogurt shop attached to store,
like food court.Copy !req
1245. Okay.Copy !req
1246. - I get profits from store.
- No.Copy !req
1247. - Some profits.
- No.Copy !req
1248. I get free yogurt
when I come to store.Copy !req
1249. Okay. Within reason.Copy !req
1250. And I want some of your wives.Copy !req
1251. How many wives you want?Copy !req
1252. - Twenty.
- No.Copy !req
1253. - I sleep with one wife.
- No.Copy !req
1254. She give one pee-pee touch.Copy !req
1255. Okay.Copy !req
1256. My friends, look what I do.
I hook you all up with tickets.Copy !req
1257. This Walbridge guy's
trying to kiss salon's ass...Copy !req
1258. so he give me 20 tickets
hackyside.Copy !req
1259. Very nice. Hassan, you see this!Copy !req
1260. This is where you're going to be
when Israel kick your ass.Copy !req
1261. Yes! No, you're gonna give it up
like you give up Gaza Strip, huh!Copy !req
1262. Excuse us.Copy !req
1263. I have to show you this.Copy !req
1264. Listen to Fatima Zaad's
gossip column on Page Nine.Copy !req
1265. "A hall of fame terrorist
is visiting New York...Copy !req
1266. and not for the muchentuchen."Copy !req
1267. - Phantom's coming to the City!
- There's more.Copy !req
1268. "He's coming to hacky sack
a certain scrappy Israeli...Copy !req
1269. who says he cuts hair,
but really cuts terrorist."Copy !req
1270. He's ruined everything.Copy !req
1271. Why you say! You the Zohan.Copy !req
1272. He come to hacky sack,
you take him out.Copy !req
1273. No, I don't care.
I come here to start new life.Copy !req
1274. Get new woman to love
and make the bang-boom.Copy !req
1275. Now my life's followed me here.Copy !req
1276. Maybe Phantom no care anymore.Copy !req
1277. You're an Israeli counterterrorist!Copy !req
1278. - I knew it.
- What!Copy !req
1279. Well, the Israeli part.
Because he's circumcised.Copy !req
1280. How is Dalia going to forgive me!Copy !req
1281. I'm liar.Copy !req
1282. She Palestinian, I'm no Australian.Copy !req
1283. You know, Scrappy...
I mean, "Zohard."Copy !req
1284. - if there's one thing I've learned
from all my relationships...Copy !req
1285. with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men,
aborigines...Copy !req
1286. you can't have secrets
in a relationship.Copy !req
1287. You tell her the truth
and if she really is this special one...Copy !req
1288. everything will work out just fine.Copy !req
1289. I like this.Copy !req
1290. I am sorry I not tell you the truth before
I make you fall head over tits for me.Copy !req
1291. But believe me,
I am wanting you even more.Copy !req
1292. I know you're not from
where you say.Copy !req
1293. I see how you look
at the Fizzy Bubblech.Copy !req
1294. Then why you like this! Is it because
I Israel and you Palestine!Copy !req
1295. Come on, tell me in my face.Copy !req
1296. Zohan, you're not just Israel.Copy !req
1297. You Israel.Copy !req
1298. But you say hate is stupid.Copy !req
1299. That's why you run to America, to get
away from the hate and the fighting.Copy !req
1300. I was even thinking
we let all this cool down...Copy !req
1301. I go out and get us
a house over there.Copy !req
1302. We move in together,
we cut the hair...Copy !req
1303. make the children,
cut the children's hair.Copy !req
1304. Zohan, I can't.Copy !req
1305. I have open mind,
but you Israeli counterterrorist.Copy !req
1306. No, no, no. I no do this anymore.Copy !req
1307. You put the fork in the fat lady,
it's over.Copy !req
1308. She's had enough to eat.
This is a promise.Copy !req
1309. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
1310. You don't know my family.Copy !req
1311. Or maybe you do.Copy !req
1312. What does this mean!Copy !req
1313. Just leave.Copy !req
1314. Please, it can't be.Copy !req
1315. Maybe is for best.Copy !req
1316. You deserve a safe life.Copy !req
1317. But know...Copy !req
1318. you will always be my special one.Copy !req
1319. - Zohan.
- Dalia.Copy !req
1320. I got you a gift.Copy !req
1321. A gift.Copy !req
1322. They come out with new book!Copy !req
1323. Yes. They do it
every 21 years, I think.Copy !req
1324. Just a slight update from yours.Copy !req
1325. No feathering!Copy !req
1326. Or scrunching!Copy !req
1327. Where's the style!Copy !req
1328. But I know this is nice gesture.
Thank you.Copy !req
1329. Goodbye, Zohan.Copy !req
1330. Goodbye.Copy !req
1331. Goodbye.Copy !req
1332. I'm sorry it didn't work out.Copy !req
1333. Me too.Copy !req
1334. You still go to Hacky Sack!Copy !req
1335. Yes, it's better I find him
than he finds me, huh!Copy !req
1336. I got your back.
I get you best army guys in city.Copy !req
1337. No, no, no. I handle this alone.Copy !req
1338. Hello! Let's go.Copy !req
1339. Go. Go, go, go.Copy !req
1340. Ladies and gentlemen,
here are your Israeli Blue Stars...Copy !req
1341. and your Lebanese Trees!Copy !req
1342. Fizzy Bubblech.Copy !req
1343. What's with the cheers!
Wasn't that guy a terrorist!Copy !req
1344. Yeah, people used to boo
you too, John, you remember!Copy !req
1345. I wasn't a terrorist.Copy !req
1346. You were pretty bad.Copy !req
1347. I brought this great event
to New York to tell the world...Copy !req
1348. that New York City...Copy !req
1349. loves its foreign immigrant-types
from the Middle East.Copy !req
1350. My hot girlfriend and I
know that we can all get along...Copy !req
1351. whether you're white, or brown,
or khaki, whatever that color is.Copy !req
1352. And here to sing
the American national anthem...Copy !req
1353. a superstar we all love:Copy !req
1354. Mariah Carey!Copy !req
1355. Goal!Copy !req
1356. And disco break!Copy !req
1357. Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!Copy !req
1358. Disco, disco, good, good!
Disco, disco, good, good!Copy !req
1359. Okay, Mariah. Couple more.Copy !req
1360. This one's from Sheik Fayalah
of Lebanon.Copy !req
1361. He wants you to write
"All I want for Ramadan is you."Copy !req
1362. Okay, this again!Copy !req
1363. - I know.
- All right.Copy !req
1364. MC, there's a Mr. Phantom
here to see you.Copy !req
1365. Who's Phantom,
a dude trying to be a rapper!Copy !req
1366. - Because I don't know who that is.
- He says he's a killing machine.Copy !req
1367. Whatever. Okay.Copy !req
1368. Miss Mariah Carey.Copy !req
1369. It is a pleasure to meet you.Copy !req
1370. Thank you. Nice to meet you.
Hi, how are you!Copy !req
1371. Miss Carey, your high notes
are so beautiful...Copy !req
1372. like a Scud missile
soaring towards its target.Copy !req
1373. - Thank you. That's really nice.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1374. So you know I'm not dead.Copy !req
1375. Oh, I sorry I startle.Copy !req
1376. I was not startle. I saw a bee.Copy !req
1377. There's a bee! I'm allergic.
It's not even funny.Copy !req
1378. No, no, no. Look.
The bee is gone. He's gone.Copy !req
1379. Mariah, believe me, there's no bee.Copy !req
1380. I'm allergic. You know I'm allergic.Copy !req
1381. No, no, no. The bee... Forget the bee.
The bee is made up, it's fiction.Copy !req
1382. It was a black wasp.Copy !req
1383. - promising me
that there was no bee here.Copy !req
1384. There was no bee. He says the bee...Copy !req
1385. so he can look more like a person
who would not scream like this.Copy !req
1386. - Are you sure!
- I promise you.Copy !req
1387. I beg your cleavage's pardon.Copy !req
1388. We will be out of your bouncy hair
in a jiffy. Is between us.Copy !req
1389. I was going to kill you tomorrow...Copy !req
1390. but I guess jackass
can't wait to die for real.Copy !req
1391. Do y'all want us to leave!
Because we can go.Copy !req
1392. - No, no, no.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1393. - We are not even here.
- Almost done. Give it a few seconds.Copy !req
1394. I came here to the States to
stop the fighting...Copy !req
1395. but I guess
this will never end, eh!Copy !req
1396. Oh, Zohan does not want
to fight anymore.Copy !req
1397. Scared of bees, huh!Copy !req
1398. Now I'm afraid of the bees!
I'm afraid of the bees!Copy !req
1399. What! You're the one that
brings up the bees.Copy !req
1400. Your hair. Your hair does not
do you justice.Copy !req
1401. You don't like this hair!
I think you're alone on this one.Copy !req
1402. Everyone else
going crazy for it.Copy !req
1403. I like the 'fro better.Copy !req
1404. Hang on, I'm getting a call.Copy !req
1405. Michael, what is!Copy !req
1406. Zohan? We have a problem here.Copy !req
1407. - Where you get that!
- This is a Sony Ericsson.Copy !req
1408. - It has Bluetooth!
- Of course it has Bluetooth.Copy !req
1409. I can never figure that
Bluetooth shit out, though.Copy !req
1410. Oh, no, it's very simple.
You sync it to your PowerBook.Copy !req
1411. - Tell her. Phantom will tell you.
- Mac or PC!Copy !req
1412. - Mac.
- You have MySpace!Copy !req
1413. The record company does.
It's not really mine.Copy !req
1414. Please, add me as a friend.Copy !req
1415. Sure, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1416. Sure, as Huge Boner.
We'll add you tomorrow.Copy !req
1417. Michael, what is!Copy !req
1418. There's a bunch of guys and they are
lighting fires and it's getting pretty bad.Copy !req
1419. No. Stay where you are.Copy !req
1420. Yeah, we'll stay up here.Copy !req
1421. - What! Where you go!
- I have bigger fish to swim.Copy !req
1422. - Mariah, I love the newest album.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1423. The Zohan.Copy !req
1424. My pita shop.Copy !req
1425. They burned it down.Copy !req
1426. Why you do this!Copy !req
1427. We no do this. We at Hacky Sack
as much as the next guy.Copy !req
1428. And I wish that we should do this,
after you write that shit on my wall.Copy !req
1429. Across street!Copy !req
1430. - Waleed, Waleed. Look, Waleed!
- No. My store.Copy !req
1431. You people ruined my store.
You people ruined my store!Copy !req
1432. What I miss!
I was stuck on West Broadway.Copy !req
1433. The Israeli burned down my store!Copy !req
1434. No, no, no.Copy !req
1435. I save store.Copy !req
1436. Then I kill the Zohan.Copy !req
1437. Phantom, kick its ass.Copy !req
1438. Jab it to the right.Copy !req
1439. Stick and move, Phantom.
Stick and move.Copy !req
1440. He can't do this alone.Copy !req
1441. Don't back down. Kick its ass.Copy !req
1442. Phantom.Copy !req
1443. Why you help me!Copy !req
1444. Because I'm through with this.Copy !req
1445. I no more fight.Copy !req
1446. You do whatever you want,
but I no fight back.Copy !req
1447. It's trick, huh!Copy !req
1448. No.Copy !req
1449. - Fight back.
- No.Copy !req
1450. - Fight back!
- No.Copy !req
1451. Fight back, Zohan.Copy !req
1452. Fight him back. What are you doing!
Fight back.Copy !req
1453. No.Copy !req
1454. This is not fun for anybody.Copy !req
1455. Why you not fight back!Copy !req
1456. Because he know better.
He show you he change.Copy !req
1457. Sister!Copy !req
1458. When you gonna grow up, Fatoush!Copy !req
1459. Fatoush!Copy !req
1460. No, no, no Fatoush.Copy !req
1461. Is Phantom now.
And is my business.Copy !req
1462. Is my man, Fatoush.Copy !req
1463. You're my woman!Copy !req
1464. You Phantom's sister!Copy !req
1465. You tapping the Zohan!Copy !req
1466. You settle for a pee-pee touch!Copy !req
1467. I wouldn't say "settle."
It was negotiation.Copy !req
1468. Fatoush is talking.Copy !req
1469. Yes. I am Phantom's sister.Copy !req
1470. And, no, Fatoush,
I am not tapping the Zohan.Copy !req
1471. But I think I love him.Copy !req
1472. This is good.Copy !req
1473. Of course you love me.
I'm very good man.Copy !req
1474. Brother, here in America
we're the same.Copy !req
1475. We just people trying to get jobs
cutting hair, driving cabs...Copy !req
1476. selling crappy stereo equipment.Copy !req
1477. - Hey. Is Sony guts.
- Whatever.Copy !req
1478. The point is, we are thousands
of miles away from all this hate...Copy !req
1479. and we live together just fine.Copy !req
1480. We do.Copy !req
1481. We do.Copy !req
1482. Come on, people.
Where is the hate! Anyone!Copy !req
1483. - I resent.
- Resent is good.Copy !req
1484. What! What do you resent!Copy !req
1485. People don't like us.Copy !req
1486. Come on, is not easy for us.
People don't like us too.Copy !req
1487. - Why!
- Because they think we are you.Copy !req
1488. We do look alike.
You got to admit this. Come on.Copy !req
1489. Waleed looks Mexican, to be honest.Copy !req
1490. Yeah, he do.Copy !req
1491. You know, ever since
the stupid terrorists...Copy !req
1492. everyone think we are terrorists.Copy !req
1493. Look, Bashir, no offense...Copy !req
1494. but if you sat next to me on a plane,
I might want to get off too.Copy !req
1495. He's right.Copy !req
1496. But how could I not hate
when you stole my goat!Copy !req
1497. I am sorry about your goat.Copy !req
1498. He was a good goat.
I treat him like member of the family.Copy !req
1499. - Really!
- Yes.Copy !req
1500. Did you rub his chin!Copy !req
1501. Like this!Copy !req
1502. Yes, sometimes for hours.
He would make face if I stop.Copy !req
1503. He make the face!Copy !req
1504. Oh, the face. The face.Copy !req
1505. That's it, that's it.
That looks just like him.Copy !req
1506. As long as he was happy.Copy !req
1507. Is good. Very happy.Copy !req
1508. Holy shichumetz.Copy !req
1509. I see what is.Copy !req
1510. Those are cool. Who make this!Copy !req
1511. You see this! Bastard landlord.Copy !req
1512. He tell us go to Hacky Sack...Copy !req
1513. so he can make it look like
we burn each other's store.Copy !req
1514. To make us look like we enemies.Copy !req
1515. This the real enemy.Copy !req
1516. I thought the whole place
was going down.Copy !req
1517. Oh, we're waiting on them, sir.Copy !req
1518. We're drawing them closer,
like a fat queer to a dick sandwich.Copy !req
1519. Aharon, get weapons from truck.Copy !req
1520. No, no, no.
I wanna minimize collateral damage.Copy !req
1521. - I do this alone.
- I do this alone.Copy !req
1522. - We do this together.
- I go myself.Copy !req
1523. No, no, no. Listen.
Come on, already, big guy.Copy !req
1524. Let it go.
We're on the same side, here.Copy !req
1525. Don't "big guy" me, big guy.Copy !req
1526. Look, you think I didn't want
to run like you did!Copy !req
1527. - Is no pressure here.
- What!Copy !req
1528. Listen, all I ever wanted since high
school was to go to States and...Copy !req
1529. - What!
- This hard to say.Copy !req
1530. Tell me, what is!Copy !req
1531. And sell shoes.Copy !req
1532. I love shoes.Copy !req
1533. No. That's great. I love to cut hair.Copy !req
1534. There is nothing wrong with that.Copy !req
1535. - Tell my parents.
- I hear you.Copy !req
1536. - They don't understand.
- Parents, they never do, huh!Copy !req
1537. - Never do. They think they're clever...
- You guys going, or what!Copy !req
1538. - Yes. Okay, we go.
- Yes. We go.Copy !req
1539. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1540. Soup's on, boys.Copy !req
1541. Hell, yeah!Copy !req
1542. What kind of shoes you like!Copy !req
1543. You know, Rockport, Ferragamo,
the classics.Copy !req
1544. You should maybe try
Hugo Boss, huh!Copy !req
1545. No, no, no.
They always cover the toes.Copy !req
1546. You stylist,
you buy some style shoes.Copy !req
1547. Oh, yes, but I'm looking
for function too.Copy !req
1548. Try mine. It's Kenneth Cole.Copy !req
1549. Square toe.Copy !req
1550. It is nice.Copy !req
1551. This is a fashion
but you can wear to work also.Copy !req
1552. Yes. Hey, to be honest,
it's a little tight.Copy !req
1553. - Let me measure.
- If you could.Copy !req
1554. I'm ready for you.Copy !req
1555. Okay, checking the width.Copy !req
1556. Triple E.Copy !req
1557. This is a big foot, huh!Copy !req
1558. You win again.Copy !req
1559. Is not a competition.Copy !req
1560. I do need to cut my nails.Copy !req
1561. We don't know
what set off this fight.Copy !req
1562. It's apparently between
Middle-Eastern merchants.Copy !req
1563. - Let's get some insight.
- They is no Middle East. Is all fake.Copy !req
1564. Is the landlord, the Walbridge guy.
He pay...Copy !req
1565. Excuse me.
Grant Walbridge, the developer?Copy !req
1566. Damn it!Copy !req
1567. Mariah Carey, I love you. I love you.Copy !req
1568. I find you, Mariah.
I come to where you are.Copy !req
1569. I love you too, horny little man.
Buy my new album.Copy !req
1570. Zohan. He has a bomb.Copy !req
1571. - And puppies.
- No.Copy !req
1572. I'm gonna blow up this block.Copy !req
1573. I'm gonna blow you up,
I'm gonna blow up these puppies...Copy !req
1574. and we all going to hell together,
because I hate these puppies.Copy !req
1575. We have no time. We have to make
the sonic power, quick.Copy !req
1576. - You mean the sound!
- Yes.Copy !req
1577. But Arab and Jews have not made
sound for thousands of years.Copy !req
1578. - Now is time, my friend.
- Thirty seconds.Copy !req
1579. You can't do nothing about it,
Rabbi Towelhead.Copy !req
1580. No, no, no. Let me take the melody,
you go harmony.Copy !req
1581. - Yes. Okay, okay.
- Here we go.Copy !req
1582. Well, hello, stranger.Copy !req
1583. Care for some chips!Copy !req
1584. Puppies!Copy !req
1585. That dog is incredibly cute.
Did you bring that dog!Copy !req
1586. Barry Manilow
used to have a beagle...Copy !req
1587. Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge.
This is all a mistake and...Copy !req
1588. Keep it together. Keep it together.Copy !req
1589. No!Copy !req
1590. My life is ruined.Copy !req
1591. They were perfect.Copy !req
1592. The ratio.Copy !req
1593. Why!Copy !req
1594. No, no, no. Stop.Copy !req
1595. What the heck are you doing!
Why you do this!Copy !req
1596. Sorry. Sorry. I got excited.Copy !req
1597. Okay, we fix.
We make mall, but this...Copy !req
1598. It's fine. Yes, it's fine.
We'll be fine.Copy !req
1599. It's all b'seder.Copy !req
1600. Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride.Copy !req
1601. The most wonderful goat
in the world.Copy !req
1602. You come. Come, come. Come on.
Come on, now. Give ride.Copy !req
1603. I'm almost done.Copy !req
1604. - I love it.
- Yes, of course you do.Copy !req
1605. I had fun shampooing your hair...Copy !req
1606. but I'd rather be licking it off
those melons.Copy !req
1607. I knew he had it in him.Copy !req
1608. Yeah, he sounds like his mother.Copy !req
1609. Maybe I'll bleach your nipples
and slap you in your face.Copy !req
1610. - Oh, now he's gone too far.
- That was disturbing. Too much.Copy !req
1611. Zohan!
Can you help this woman, please.Copy !req
1612. Of course, motek.
You know, if I was not married to you...Copy !req
1613. this is the kind of bootachem
I would go all night long w...Copy !req
1614. Hello, Zohan.Copy !req
1615. So this is where you work!Copy !req
1616. Yes, Abba.Copy !req
1617. And this is your Palestinian wife!Copy !req
1618. Yes, Abba.Copy !req
1619. Does she know you're a fagala?Copy !req
1620. I see. This is because...Copy !req
1621. Congratulations.Copy !req
1622. Now, cut my hair.Copy !req
1623. Yes. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
1624. I love it.
Please.Copy !req