You Are the Apple of My Eye (2011)

1. Hurry up, it's a big day.

2. You don't want to make the bride wait for you, do you?

3. The usual, boss.

4. Put it on my mom's tab.

5. All right, no problem

6. 1994

7. I was 16 that year

8. Chang Yu-Sheng's voice was still heard on TV shows.

9. Jacky Cheung sold more than one million cassettes for the "KissGoodbye" album.

10. The bookies hadn't started watching CPBL

11. and the classic Dragon-Elephant games were always sold out.

12. That year

13. a girl with tanned skin won the championship on the local talent show

14. for five consecutive rounds.

15. That year...

16. Those years.

17. My name is Ko Ching-Teng.

18. My friends called me Ko-Teng

19. I went to Jingcheng in Changhua City for junior high school.

20. As for high school, I stuck to the same one, too.

21. This is Hsu Bo-Chun.

22. He has been my best friend since junior high school.

23. He's always getting a boner

24. that's why we named him "Boner".

25. Fuck!

26. Fuck what?

27. You are dead meat. Don't run.

28. This is A-Ho.

29. We have been in the same class all the way from elementary to high school.

30. There is a fat guy in every story.

31. A-Ho is the fat guy in our story.

32. Stop bugging me.

33. Why not?

34. Good morning, Sir.

35. Good morning.

36. Good morning, Sir.

37. Good morning.

38. Good morning, Sir.

39. Good morning, Sir.

40. Good morning.

41. Good morning, Sir.

42. Your hair is too long.

43. It's time to get a haircut.

44. Gosh, can you stop that?

45. What?

46. Stop doing that

47. I have told you a million times!

48. Why not?

49. You totally wasted my food

50. I only had one bite of that hotdog.

51. So...

52. Don't you know how to catch?

53. Cock Tsao.

54. Why are you such a jackass in the morning.

55. You know what?

56. I won a Grant Hill 1 to 40 limited edition card yesterday.

57. This is Tsao.

58. We have been classmates ever since junior high and he has always been an ass.

59. We called him.

60. Show off?

61. We can switch then for your 1 to 100 Penny Hardaway cards.

62. No way!

63. Piss off, then.

64. The only thing that these boys shared in common with...

65. was that they all had a crush on the honor student in the class.

66. Shen Chia-Yi.

67. From my point of view.

68. Shen Chia-Yi was only slightly prettier than the other girls.

69. Don't know what the guys were thinking.

70. Shen Chia-Yi.

71. Yes?

72. Did you watch Rose Night yesterday?

73. Are you talking about the Taichi Gorge photo?

74. Yeah, the picture was horrifying

75. I got goose bumps all over.

76. The story sounds terrifying but...

77. I can't really tell from the picture though

78. I think it was the shooting angle that does the trick.

79. You think so?

80. Now, start doing the exercises for lesson five and six.

81. Continue after the assembly if you can't finish.

82. Focus on your own exercises.

83. No discussion.

84. This is Liao Ying-Hung.

85. His surname, Liao, is a verb in Chinese.

86. And it means to scratch.

87. Since it's a verb

88. we should make good use of this verb.

89. Thus, we gave him a nickname.

90. "Groin"

91. "Groin" likes Shen Chia-Yi, too.

92. That's because he likes every girl in the class.

93. It's early morning and everyone looks half asleep.

94. Stand straight.

95. Wake up!

96. Stand straight.

97. Stop moving.

98. Stand up.

99. Attention.

100. Salute.

101. Good morning, Miss Chou.

102. Good morning, everyone. Sit down.

103. In year 1974, it was still the Qing dynasty.

104. So it means that.

105. It was the thirty second year that China was ruled under Emperor Qianlong.

106. There was really not that much difference between junior high and senior high.

107. Just a matter of how deep you are in hell.

108. Endless studies, exams... it's all very boring!

109. There is the character, the time and then it's the place.

110. Where is the place?

111. The place...

112. But, we can always find a way to entertain ourselves!

113. Hsu Bo-Chun

114. stand up and read the next section.

115. Stand up and read.

116. You don't even know where we are.

117. Hello... are you in the classroom.

118. Ko Ching-Teng

119. what are you laughing at?

120. You read it.

121. Stand up and read.

122. It's not very convenient.

123. What do you mean "not very convenient"?

124. Stand up.

125. Jerking off.

126. Jerking off right in the class

127. I have been a teacher for so many years

128. I have seen students who cheat

129. get into fights

130. black mail.

131. Or even those who beat up teachers!

132. I have seen all kinds of problematic students

133. but just no perverts like you!

134. I didn't even ejaculate.

135. And that's an excuse?

136. Yeah.

137. We were just fooling around...

138. You, too.

139. Your parents spent so much money to send you to school

140. and you guys don't even cherish how lucky you are.

141. What's jerk off?

142. Jerking off in the classroom.

143. Hey?

144. I don't know.

145. Shen Chia-Yi

146. come out here for a second.

147. Shen Chia-Yi

148. from now on, Ko Ching-Teng will sit in front of you.

149. Keep an eye on him for me.

150. Don't let him be a bad influence on others.

151. Give him a push on his schoolwork, as well.

152. Okay?

153. Hsu Bo-Chun.

154. In the future

155. you will sit in front of Hsieh Ming-Ho.

156. The same goes for you.

157. Don't goof around again.

158. If you do, I will ask your parents to come to school.

159. Get it?

160. Got it.

161. Now, go to your class.

162. Thank you, sir.

163. Even though Shen Chia-Yi and I have been in the same class ever since junior high

164. the distance between an honor student and a bad student

165. always stayed the same.

166. It's shitty luck to sit in such a shitty seat.

167. Who has bad luck now?

168. You are sitting in front of me now.

169. You better stop your childish pranks.

170. So you don't bring me unnecessary troubles.

171. It must be nice to be an honor student.

172. Just because you have good marks

173. doesn't mean you can boss people around.

174. Who cares about what you think?

175. Don't mind him, don't let him bother you.

176. That's right.

177. He just likes to masturbate in the classroom.

178. Fuck.

179. The reason you like to goof around is because you don't concentrate on your studies.

180. Yeah.

181. You're so clever, you are such a smart ass.

182. A nerd like Shen Chia-Yi

183. likes to poke her nose into other people's business whenever she gets a chance.

184. All you do is drawing these retarded figures every day.

185. Where's the future in that?

186. It's none of your business

187. I'm pretty much minding my own business. I just want to have a good laugh.

188. Moron.

189. How come every retard you drew is bald?

190. Do you discriminate against bald heads or retards?

191. Mind your own business.

192. Man, you are as slow as a turtle!

193. Bye.

194. Ko-Teng.

195. Ko-Teng.

196. What?

197. Stop giving Shen Chia-Yi a hard time.

198. Yeah right.

199. That's all.

200. That's all?

201. Every man wants to be the strongest man.

202. Including me.

203. One day

204. I will be as strong as my master.

205. You are D.E.A.D.

206. The fact that I am so reckless has got something to do with my family.

207. Ma, shampoo is out.

208. Hey, put some clothes on.

209. You're a grown-up now

210. I know, it has grown so big, right?

211. My father also likes to walk around butt naked in the house.

212. The school called today.

213. What's the big deal about coed school?

214. Concentrate at school.

215. Stop goofing around.

216. What did I do?

217. Eat first, while it's still hot.

218. Talk later.

219. Why are your grades always in the bottom percentile?

220. Is it because you are thinking about girls all the time, is that why?

221. No, I am not interested in girls!

222. I'm not interested in guys, either.

223. Speaking of girls.

224. Each one of my good friend

225. liked Shen Chia-Yi in a different way.

226. Groin, what are you doing?

227. Shen Chia-Yi

228. I have just invented a new magic trick

229. I want you to be the first one to see it.

230. Hu Chia-Wei, do you want to see it, too.

231. Is it a prank?

232. No way. It's amazing.

233. Look closely.

234. Basically, Groin was on the right track.

235. It's to cheer the girls up and make them laugh.

236. Nothing in this hand, either.

237. Look closely.

238. Groin, you are such a bore.

239. Besides Groin's retarded magic.

240. Tsao had a very different way to make girls happy.

241. Shen Chia-Yi.

242. Tsao Kuo-Sheng.

243. And no one gets it.

244. A-Ho liked to read what grown-ups read.

245. So he knew many things that we didn't.

246. Shen Chia-Yi.

247. Do you remember the Air Supply album that I lent you.

248. Um... I remember.

249. They are coming next month.

250. Do you want to go if I have tickets?

251. To Taipei?

252. We can take the train.

253. Hu Chia-Wei.

254. Do you want to go with us?

255. Yes, sure.

256. Sounds fun.

257. The adult's way is the most subtle way to chase after Shen Chia-Yi.

258. Who is Air Supply?

259. Someone said.

260. Showing one's clumsy side is also another way to pursuit girls

261. I think.

262. Boner has tried this many times.

263. Hsu Bo-Chun.

264. Can you stop playing?

265. And it proves that his way doesn't work at all.

266. Me? Yes, there's also a girl I like.

267. But it's unlikely that we can develop anything at that point in time.

268. That's fine

269. I will grow up.

270. One clay, I will turn to be the man that deserves her.

271. That day.

272. Nobody knew if the English teacher had lost money in the stock market

273. or her menstruation period went wild.

274. She had a shitty face.

275. She looked like she was about to kill someone.

276. Stand up.

277. Sit down. Let's begin

278. I thought

279. it would be great fun to see the smart ass student, Shen Chia-Yi

280. makes a blunder

281. I meant.

282. "I thought."

283. Stand up if you didn't bring your textbook.

284. Ko Ching-Teng

285. we have gone through a third of this semester.

286. And you don't even have your English textbook with you, which we use every day.

287. Are you serious about getting an education?

288. Chair.

289. Don't you know private schools are expensive?

290. If you don't even have your textbook

291. then why do you even bother coming to school?

292. Here to eat your lunchbox?

293. Lunch is essential! Of course I have to eat it.

294. You think you're very funny, huh?

295. Have you no shame?

296. Raise your arms higher.

297. Raise them higher.

298. So weak! Didn't you eat?

299. Go do 10 rounds of squat jumps outside.

300. Did I ask you to put your hands down?

301. Higher!

302. my friends

303. that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment

304. I still have a dream

305. that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment

306. I still have a dream.

307. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream

308. I have a dream

309. that one day this nation will rise up.

310. and live up the true meaning of its dream.

311. What are you thinking?

312. You've been weird all day long.

313. Nothing.

314. Do you need an exorcism?

315. You are thinking too much.

316. Head office announcement

317. Jay Chou in third year

318. please come to the head office now.

319. Sweet.

320. What?

321. Thank you for yesterday.

322. No big deal. I have no shame anyway.

323. Thank you.

324. Why not just buy me a drink?

325. It's weird to hear you keep on saying "thank you".

326. Can I ask you a question?

327. Go ahead.

328. Why don't you want to study?

329. It's not like I don't want to

330. I am afraid if I really tried

331. I would be so good that I would even scare myself.

332. You better watch out then if I do study

333. I would beat you immediately.

334. Wanna take up the challenge?

335. Sure, why not.

336. Ko Ching-Teng.

337. What?

338. This is a quiz I made up myself.

339. Take it and do it at home.

340. Bring it back tomorrow.

341. Are you for real?

342. A quiz made out of love.

343. And here is a math exercise book.

344. See the questions I've highlighted in yellow? Do them three times.

345. You will probably score at least 50% in the next quiz.

346. Only 50%

347. I didn't say it's easy to get good grades

348. I will give you some harder problems

349. after you finish the basics.

350. What do I owe you?

351. Why should I listen to you?

352. Because I don't want to look down on you.

353. Yeah right!

354. You can be so stuck up just because you have good grades.

355. Go on then, I don't really care

356. I don't look down on people with bad grades

357. I look down on you because

358. you pick on people with good grades

359. while you don't even try to work hard.

360. Put on some clothes.

361. Otherwise you'll catch a cold.

362. That's impossible.

363. My master is Bruce Lee.

364. Swallow your food before you speak.

365. Why is our tissue paper running out so fast?

366. What?

367. Your quiz.

368. You made so many mistakes.

369. You did the problems without reading the exercise book, didn't you?

370. You can find the answers for these two problems in the exercise book.

371. This one is harder.

372. It's not the kind of problem you can solve with a formula.

373. You need to use these theories.

374. You go home and read the parts I circled.

375. It's such a pain to study.

376. That's why people who are good at studying rule.

377. Why are you helping Ko Ching-Teng to study?

378. Did you see his grades?

379. It's none of your business.

380. They are really bad.

381. Still, it has nothing to do with you.

382. Miss, this is yours and this is yours.

383. Thank you!

384. It's so not you

385. I hate people who are lazy and have no sense of self-awareness at all.

386. Ok

387. I'm not talking about you.

388. You sure?

389. It's so boring to study

390. I don't understand why Shen Chia-Yi can do this every day.

391. Do you have any idea?

392. Let me tell you.

393. Being able to solve these tricky math questions.

394. Does nothing good in life!

395. Here.

396. Why do you work so hard?

397. No, I just study when I feel like it.

398. If you want to study, study hard then.

399. What do you mean "when you feel like it"?

400. Fine, I will think about it.

401. Eat porridge.

402. Don't finish it too quickly.

403. By the way

404. there was a new shipment in the store a few days ago. The whole package was unopened

405. so the store owner wants to sell the whole thing together.

406. Do you think I should buy the whole package of SKYBOX or two boxes of CC?

407. SKYBOX is too expensive.

408. So, two boxes of CC?

409. How many times did you jerk off yesterday?

410. Why are you so tired?

411. Jerk off your ass.

412. Mind your own business.

413. Fuck!

414. Get up and eat your meatballs.

415. If you don't eat it, I'm going to finish yours, too.

416. Shen Chia-Yi, check out my new magic.

417. You idiot.

418. Not bad!

419. Gross!

420. It's the best this year.

421. Isn't it?

422. What are you guys doing?

423. It's a new magic.

424. For real? Show me! Show me!

425. I will show you.

426. It's gross.

427. Just pretend that you are drinking, but don't swallow it.

428. You suck.

429. You are so gross.

430. Make correction

431. 10 minutes.

432. Because I am so damn smart

433. 5 minutes is more than enough.

434. Don't study in the toilet

435. I am going to pee in my pants.

436. Ma, stop scaring me.

437. Why would I?

438. Dump it out and come out.

439. Hurry up.

440. Why are you up so late?

441. What the hell are you doing in there?

442. I am studying English

443. English is useless for you

444. Go to sleep

445. I sleep late because I study English very hard.

446. Hsieh Ming-Ho

447. 87%

448. Not bad, not bad.

449. Keep it up

450. Chang Chia-Chi

451. 44%

452. Work harder.

453. Ko Ching-Teng

454. 75%

455. You have been studying hard lately?

456. Not really, I am a genius.

457. Then, be a genius from now on.

458. Okay, Class dismiss.

459. Remember the test next week.

460. Genius?

461. Are you serious?

462. It's not a big deal that you know how to solve these problems

463. I bet you

464. in 10 years time, I wouldn't even know what log is

465. and it makes no difference to my life.

466. Emmmm...

467. You don't believe me?

468. I do.

469. Then, why do you still work so hard?

470. You don't expect returns from everything you do.

471. You really like to pitch high notes like adults, don't you?

472. It will be no help to your life whatsoever if you continue to be so childish like this.

473. How would you know

474. if you've never been childish ever?

475. You know something is meaningless without trying it.

476. This is shit.

477. Next group

478. I heard you will become a zombie if you are bitten by one

479. I don't buy that.

480. This must be some rumors.

481. But he had to learn this from somewhere, right?

482. What are we going to do?

483. Hey.

484. What?

485. Have you heard that rumor lately?

486. You mean the one that every girl wants to date me?

487. Moron.

488. Okay, what is it?

489. I heard some stowaways from China were drowned.

490. And they had became zombies

491. after their bodies were washed up on shore.

492. Oh! Those zombies

493. I've heard about them.

494. They jumped, jumped and jumped all the way here.

495. Shit.

496. Are you for real?

497. Of course.

498. With whole bunch of people jumping around up in the hills at night

499. what do you think they are?

500. Yes, I remember seeing that on the newspaper a few days ago.

501. If they jumped harder

502. they should have reached Baguashan Mountain by now.

503. So, do you want to see them?

504. No way

505. I don't think you can see them even if they are real.

506. Maybe they got lost in Baguashan Mountain

507. and jumped directly into Changhua city.

508. Don't think it's impossible.

509. Zombies don't have a sense of direction.

510. What?

511. You and Shen Chia-Yi seem to have a lot to talk about lately.

512. Do me a favor.

513. No way.

514. Don't tell me you want to write a love letter?

515. You write it

516. and I copy it

517. I don't think one drink is enough

518. if she says yes

519. I will buy you one year worth.

520. Plus a Grant Hill 100:1 All-Star Card.

521. Alright, deal.

522. Ko Ching-Teng.

523. Are you going to cram school tonight?

524. What for?

525. You are so dumb, how can you not go!

526. Mind your own business.

527. Starting tonight

528. you stay here and study after school.

529. Stay at school?

530. What's your problem?

531. I will stay, too.

532. What the hell?

533. It turned out that Shen Chia-Yi stayed behind to study

534. when she didn't have to go to cram school.

535. So, you asked me to stay behind at school with you

536. only because you are afraid of those zombies, right?

537. I am just worried you're getting stupid.

538. Right.

539. Tsao asked me to give you this letter.

540. My dear Shen Chia-Yi

541. I like you very much.

542. As the song goes, "Nothing's gonna change my love for you.

543. Making love out of nothing at all"

544. barely expresses my feelings for you.

545. This is your handwriting.

546. Ko Ching-Teng

547. I must say

548. you suck at writing love letters.

549. What do you mean?

550. I am that close to William Shakespeare, okay?

551. Since you have the time to write love letters for someone else.

552. Why don't you use the time to memorize some English vocabulary?

553. Ok.

554. Even though I am cute, smart and incredibly humorous

555. don't fall in love with me easily.

556. Because I am a lone wolf traveling in the wild wind.

557. Oh, thanks

558. I'm not interested in guys who are dumber than me.

559. Shen Chia-Yi doesn't like guys that are dumber than her.

560. Dumb?

561. Come on, I let you win on purpose

562. I don't study hard cause I don't want to beat you

563. and I don't want to hurt your feelings!

564. Pardon me.

565. Save your kindness, mister. You are welcome to try to beat me anytime!

566. I dare you to bet with me.

567. Let's bet on...

568. Your hair.

569. How?

570. If you beat me in the next midterm

571. you can do whatever you want to me.

572. But, if I won

573. you will have to wear a ponytail for a month.

574. Sure, whatever.

575. It's not like you would win anyway!

576. I was struck by her cocky confidence right away.

577. Hey, you.

578. Why on earth you need to study freaking English

579. in the middle of the night?

580. I fuck you

581. I fuck you too

582. I fuck your mother.

583. What's wrong with you?

584. Fuck you fuck you

585. I love you

586. Hey, Ma'am.

587. A super hot and charming jar head, please.

588. Idiot, how can a jar head be handsome?

589. Of course there is.

590. Give it a try if you don't believe me.

591. Here, I don't owe you any more.

592. Stop that.

593. Rumor has it that Inoue Takehiko has died a couple weeks ago!

594. I heard that he died in a car accident.

595. Really.

596. No wonder I felt something was different in his drawing style.

597. More powerful that is, how can such a genius die just like that.

598. Don't you think...

599. Think What?

600. Don't you think Shen Chia-Yi likes me?

601. If not, why would she wear a ponytail today?

602. Maybe!

603. How did Shen Chia-Yi know I like girls who wear ponytails?

604. You too?

605. I always like girls who wear ponytails.

606. So do!

607. I don't know why Shen Chia-Yi wore a ponytail that day even though she won the bet.

608. However, ever since then

609. studying hard had become an enthusiastic thing for me.

610. The class funds went missing.

611. It was still here when the class leader checked about an hour ago.

612. Now school is almost finished.

613. Who else could have stolen that money?

614. It must be someone sitting in this classroom!

615. Whoever stole that money, you better turn yourself in right now.

616. Otherwise, don't blame me for being too harsh afterwards.

617. Fine.

618. It's okay if no one wants to admit it

619. I guarantee that the thief is sitting right here in this room.

620. The person must thinks that he can get away with this.

621. Good

622. very good.

623. Now, take out your pen, everyone.

624. And write down the name of the person that you think it's most likely to be the thief.

625. The top three named

626. will have to bring your bags forward, and I will check them personally.

627. Now!

628. Take out your paper right now.

629. Tsao Kuo-Sheng.

630. What are you doing?

631. Sir.

632. Who do you think you are to have us suspect our own classmates?

633. Now who is the supervisor? Are you or am I?

634. You are, sir.

635. But you are an ass hole!

636. What did you say?

637. I said you are an asshole.

638. Ko Ching-Teng, Tsao Kuo-Sheng

639. I think you guys are bluffing

640. bring your bags now and I will check yours first.

641. Excuse me, Sir.

642. You have no right to do that

643. I have no right to do what?

644. You can't ask us to write down names and vote on such a thing.

645. You can't ask us to suspect our own classmates.

646. We can just all pay the fees again.

647. It's no big deal.

648. Exactly.

649. We can just pay again.

650. Being an honor student doesn't mean that you can say whatever you want.

651. Bring your bag over here.

652. No way.

653. We are not thieves.

654. Douche.

655. What did you say?

656. I said you are a douchebag.

657. Bring your bags over now, all of you.

658. No.

659. Sir

660. I now suspect that you have no balls.

661. Take your pants off now.

662. What did you say?

663. Take your pants off.

664. Bring your bags over.

665. Fine, here you go!

666. Stop staring at me.

667. It's very embarrassing. I feel so ashamed.

668. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

669. You kicked ass!

670. Don't need to be too serious about this.

671. Shen Chia-Yi.

672. Relax a bit.

673. Just pretend, it's no big deal.

674. Those teachers are not watching anyway.

675. It's kind of nice to be a bad student once in a while, isn't it?

676. I am so ashamed.

677. Ever since I knew you from junior high

678. that was the only time I was amazed by how tough you really are.

679. Shen Chia-Yi, you rock!

680. You look so pretty even when you cry.

681. Yeah.

682. Super duper cool.

683. Unbelievably cool.

684. Unlike quizzes

685. you never find a correct answer in life.

686. No one really knew who stole our money, but no one really cared.

687. All I remembered from that day was Shen Chia-Yi's face

688. beautifully and delicately engraved in my heart.

689. Six years ago, when we first stepped in to Jing-Cheng high school

690. we were all young and immature.

691. Although we had great dreams about our future

692. we weren't really sure what we were going to learn and encounter during these years.

693. Thanks to the teachers who led us and furnished us with abundant knowledge.

694. Thanks to all the peers who accompanied us throughout the years

695. with bitter and sweet memories.

696. Ching-Chen high school represents our young and crazy days

697. it gave us the most wonderful times of our life.

698. From now on

699. it's time for us to spread our wings and chase our dreams.

700. So long, my friends.

701. So long, my friends.

702. How I envy you.

703. You have so many guys chasing after you throughout the years!

704. Yes, it's quite nice to be liked by someone.

705. But...

706. Don't tell me that you feel annoyed because you are too popular.

707. No

708. I just think that I am a very lucky girl.

709. So, have you decided?

710. Decided what?

711. Decided whom you want to be with.

712. Come on, you can't even tell me?

713. Ok, if...

714. I will be really happy.

715. Happy graduation.

716. Finally, the colleague entrance exam came.

717. To me, the exam was more like a test for Shen Chia-Yi's special training programs

718. rather than an exam for college.

719. We spent most of our time at the beach during the summer before college.

720. They are so childish

721. I know, so childish.

722. You don't really like childish guys, do you?

723. No.

724. Who do you think is the most childish one among them all.

725. Ko-Teng, maybe?

726. How about me?

727. You are so childish.

728. Now that we have graduated

729. have you thought about what you want to do in the future?

730. I want to work in the Hsinchu Science and Industrial Park

731. so I can get stocks for bonuses and tons of money.

732. And then I can marry Shen Chia-Yi...

733. or Hu Chia-Wei.

734. Who wants to marry you?

735. I want to study abroad.

736. It'll be such a waste of money, okay?

737. Oh, fuck off.

738. Study abroad?

739. I want to study abroad, too.

740. Maybe I will apply for government scholarships and get an MBA degree

741. I want to keep on playing basketball.

742. And maybe one day make my way to NBA.

743. What about you, Chia-Wei?

744. Me?

745. I think I will find myself a rich man to marry.

746. Go away.

747. What about you, Shen Chia-Yi?

748. I don't expect much about my future, really.

749. Ko-Teng, it's your turn

750. I want to be a kickass person.

751. What are you talking about?

752. What is a kickass person?

753. I want the world to be a little bit better because of me.

754. And you are the only person that is going to make my world better.

755. Hello. Yes?

756. I am a nerd

757. I am a bookworm.

758. Ever since junior high and high school.

759. All I did was studying

760. I still screwed it up.

761. No matter which university you go to

762. there is something that I want to say to you.

763. Please.

764. Don't tell me you like me now

765. I do like you

766. and you knew that already.

767. What do you want to tell me, then?

768. The results were out.

769. A-Ho got into Economics Major in National Tsing Hua University

770. which means he made one step forward to his overseas dream.

771. Groin got into Information Engineering at Feng Chia University

772. to become one of those Science Park smart engineers.

773. Tsao got into Chemical Engineering at Cheng Kung University.

774. So I guess it's most unlikely that he would make it into NBA.

775. Although Shen Chia-Yi didn't do as well as she expected

776. she still got into University of Education

777. I could totally imagine Shen Chia-Yi being a teacher, it really suits her.

778. Here, for you.

779. What is this?

780. I drew it myself.

781. Not my best work

782. but I think it's okay.

783. Thanks.

784. Shen Chia-Yi, promise me something.

785. Don't let boys get you too soon after you go to college.

786. Ok?

787. What are you talking about?

788. You Are the Apple of My Eye.

789. Oh, yes, as for the masturbating Boner.

790. He decided to stay and take the college entrance exam again.

791. Take the entrance exam next year with me please!

792. I have also come to the next stage in my life

793. a school without Shen Chia-Yi

794. I never thought that Shen Chia-Yi would not be the first girl that I hold hands with.

795. Instead of her, it was a girl named...

796. Named...

797. Hello, my name was Hsu Ke-Shin.

798. Hi, my name is Ko Ching-Teng.

799. There were many weird stories in the dormitory.

800. Most of them were ghost stories.

801. But

802. there's one story about a four-legged beast.

803. It was definitely real...

804. My roommates came from all walks of life.

805. Hsiao-Lun was a muscle maniac, who did nothing but lifted weights all day long.

806. The ultimate weirdo is Yi-Chi.

807. He was never in the classroom because he's always reading Manga.

808. Chien-Han, who started to prepare for graduate school from the day he arrived

809. was studying twenty four seven.

810. Luckily, we had some common interests to talk about.

811. See, Iijima Ai is way too old.

812. Her tits have turned dark.

813. Emmm... Madoza Ozawa looks hotter and yummier

814. Anna Ohura is not too bad, either

815. I have some nice stuff called the Human Sex Program.

816. Let's watch it together later.

817. Don't you think it's too weird to watch cartoon characters having sex?

818. There're ones with dogs and eels, too.

819. That was the time before mobile phones were common.

820. At night, all the guys acted like they casted a spell.

821. Everyone one of us was lining up in front the telephone booth

822. I miss you so much my sweetie little pumpkin pie

823. I miss you 10 times every hour on a regular basis.

824. It's true.

825. So do you miss me this much, too?

826. How many times per hour?

827. 10 times at least?

828. Hey.

829. You are not asleep yet, are you?

830. No, not yet.

831. Go to sleep

832. I talked to Shen Chia-Yi every night.

833. Sometimes, she fell asleep in the middle of our conversations.

834. Sometimes I spent all my money on phone calls and left no money for food.

835. Welcome party? Next week.

836. Next week.

837. Listen.

838. Can you please not dance with anyone?

839. Why not?

840. Because...

841. Ok, I know we are not seeing each other yet.

842. But those guys who you don't even know.

843. Can you not let them hold your hands?

844. I haven't even held them myself.

845. What about you?

846. You didn't dance with anyone?

847. I don't believe you didn't hold any girl's hands.

848. Oh, well... yeah, but only a little bit.

849. That's because...

850. I imagined that she was you.

851. Oh please, I don't believe you.

852. Really.

853. Then I can also imagine the guy I dance with was you.

854. No man, I'm for real.

855. All right, I am serious.

856. Don't let anyone hold your hands.

857. Bye.

858. Finally, it was the first Christmas after we entered college.

859. Hey.

860. Is this considered a date?

861. Why ask me?

862. Why is it so cold in Taipei?

863. Hurry up, my turn for a picture!

864. Hurry up! It's leaving.

865. Oops, I didn't get it.

866. You.

867. Come back.

868. Ko Ching-Teng.

869. Do you really like me a lot?

870. Yes, I do.

871. Very much

872. I always feel that you give me too much credit

873. I'm not as good as you think

874. I feel weird about the fact that you like me.

875. What's so weird about it?

876. There is another side of me that you don't know about

877. I am very sloppy at home.

878. Emm...

879. I get very grumpy when I wake up early.

880. And I get pissed off with my little sister at times just for minor stuff

881. I am... you know.

882. Very ordinary.

883. Maybe, the person that you like

884. is in your imagination

885. I am not that imaginative.

886. Look.

887. Think carefully.

888. Do you like me that much?

889. Hell yeah.

890. You are so childish.

891. You didn't even think through it.

892. Think about it carefully before you tell me.

893. What did Shen Chia-Yi mean?

894. Was she trying to turn me down in a nice way?

895. I was afraid.

896. For a long time, I always thought that I am a confident guy.

897. At that moment, I realized that

898. I was really a coward in front of the girl I liked.

899. What do you wish for?

900. Write your own, no peeking.

901. Come on, I just want to have a look.

902. Shen Chia-Yi

903. I like you very much

904. I like you a lot.

905. One day you will be mine.

906. One day, I will make you mine.

907. Do you want to know the answer?

908. I can tell you right now.

909. No

910. I didn't ask you.

911. So you can't turn me down.

912. You really don't want to know?

913. Please don't tell me now.

914. Just let me keep on liking you.

915. Every guy wants to show his strongest side.

916. Especially in front of the girl he likes.

917. So what should I show to Shen Chia-Yi?

918. It took me a long time before the answer suddenly hit me one day.

919. Why can't you just go pee in the toilet?

920. Man, it's far.

921. Hey, are you going out?

922. Empty this for me on your way out, will you?

923. You fucking serious?

924. Come on, just do me a favor...

925. Don't you guys think.

926. It's time to battle?

927. Come on.

928. Let's fight

929. I am organizing a competition.

930. Anyone wants to join me?

931. Anyone wants to join the competition?

932. Anyone wants to fight?

933. Fighting competition, anyone?

934. Do you want to fight in a competition?

935. Do you want to fight in a combat tournament?

936. Anyone wants to fight?

937. Anyone wants to join?

938. Can I stay until you guys finish?

939. What's the big deal with the regular sports?

940. Combat is definitely cooler.

941. Seriously, you have to be here

942. I just put out posters.

943. It's going to be a full house.

944. Why do you want to organize such a dangerous competition?

945. Don't you guys need to study and look after your marks?

946. Exactly! People study way too hard.

947. That's why they need to exercise

948. I want to give them some trainings.

949. It's just a fight.

950. Fine, if you really want to put it that way

951. I really don't get you sometimes.

952. You can nail this easily

953. I thought everyone in college was a pussy

954. I was wrong.

955. There was a tough guy named Chien-Wei.

956. He was the second chair of the taekwondo club, a black belt.

957. He looked cocky.

958. And he looked tough.

959. Just the kind of guy that I was looking for.

960. We follow the rules of the highest martial arts order in the world.

961. No killing.

962. You cannot go outside of the boundaries.

963. No kicking on penises.

964. You lose if you are knocked down and unable to get up after the referee counts to 10.

965. Ready!

966. Put it on.

967. What the hell?

968. Wear it so I know I won't kill you.

969. Go fuck yourself.

970. Go

971. I am going to kill you.

972. Punch him with Gazelle punch.

973. Stand up.

974. Ko-Teng.

975. Hurry up.

976. Fight back.

977. Ko-Teng, fight back.

978. Beat him up.

979. Stand up and beat him, stand up.

980. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven.

981. Ko-Teng stand up.

982. Stand up now.

983. Time is running out.

984. Ko-Teng.

985. Fight back.

986. Who is that? She's so hot.

987. Hey! I didn't see you when the game was over

988. I thought I was knocked out...

989. Did you see that guy?

990. He kicked my ass so bad

991. I couldn't get away from him.

992. Was it fun?

993. Not bad!

994. I was so excited when I saw you!

995. Answer my question, was it fun?

996. Now what?

997. Why did you insist on organizing such a weird competition?

998. What's the meaning of it?

999. Don't you think it's super cool?

1000. That kind of... win or lose between two men.

1001. It's just violence.

1002. Ko Ching-Teng.

1003. You organized a game to get yourself hurt.

1004. Why are you so childish?

1005. Childish?

1006. Right, childish.

1007. Very childish.

1008. Let me ask you something.

1009. What exactly did you learn from this game?

1010. "Learn"?

1011. Why do I have to learn something from everything that I do?

1012. At least you learned that having a competition like this will get yourself hurt.

1013. And it is totally unnecessary.

1014. You are so childish.

1015. See those bruises on your face? You deserve it

1016. I am childish?

1017. Do you know this competition is a fantastic experience for me?

1018. Can't you just be happy for me?

1019. So you are going to do it again?

1020. Of course I will do it again.

1021. Why not?

1022. Grow up will you?

1023. Why do you always look down on things that matter to me?

1024. Things that matter to you are things that hurt you?

1025. Fine

1026. I am childish.

1027. And that's why I would go after such a good school girl like you

1028. I am this naive so I could chase you for so long.

1029. Stop trying then.

1030. Idiot.

1031. Right! I am an idiot.

1032. Moron.

1033. Only a moron can keep on trying to chase after you for such a long time.

1034. You don't understand anything.

1035. No, I don't understand anything.

1036. The cruelest part in “growing up”

1037. is that girls are always more mature than guys of the same age.

1038. No guys can handle girls at their age.

1039. What? A big fight?

1040. Does that mean you are not going to be a couple after this?

1041. What's your problem?

1042. For real? Not plans of making up?

1043. Oh yes, so I have a chance now?

1044. Tsao took off right away on his motorcycle

1045. and rode from Tainan to Taipei.

1046. He was ready to confess his love to Shen Chia-Yi.

1047. A-Ho, on the other hand, bought a ticket for the next train.

1048. It turned out that

1049. the train is faster

1050. I know we have always been good friends.

1051. But somehow I always knew that Ko-Teng is the one.

1052. Being childish is something that

1053. I can never learn.

1054. Even though you said you hate childish guys.

1055. Every time when you called Ko-Teng childish

1056. I can tell how much you like that childishness in him.

1057. Why are you telling me this now?

1058. If I don't do anything now

1059. you guys will get back together eventually.

1060. Right?

1061. I am sorry.

1062. Since you guys are not in good terms now, I would like to take my chances.

1063. When Tsao saw A-Ho and Shen Chia-Yi walked across the street, he took off again.

1064. This time, he rode his way around the whole island.

1065. When Tsao made it to Tainan

1066. he took the wrong exit so he went straight to Chiayi.

1067. Then he thought why not just take another round around Taiwan.

1068. This time, he stopped to picked me up.

1069. What?

1070. Fuck.

1071. What do you want?

1072. Hit me back.

1073. What's your freaking problem?

1074. Idiot?

1075. I was heart broken

1076. I had lost Shen Chia-Yi.

1077. There was nothing left in me

1078. I met quite a lot of girls after I lost Shen Chia-Yi.

1079. It's just that they all happened to be Japanese.

1080. For that, I felt there was something missing in my heart.

1081. Sakuragi Hanamichi was right.

1082. You can only use one hand, your left hand.

1083. Because you need your right hand on the mouse.

1084. What's the point of us masturbating all day long?

1085. Who cares?

1086. As long as I get to ejaculate, who cares!

1087. I am coming, I am coming, I AM COMING!

1088. Even though getting a diploma might not be crucial

1089. but a bachelor degree seems to be not enough

1090. I admit that I might be childish, just like how Shen Chia-Yi described me.

1091. A-Ho has been a really good friend of mine.

1092. But I just couldn't bring myself to congratulate him.

1093. It'd be nice to plan things ahead.

1094. We should start thinking about graduate schools.

1095. If you really want to be a teacher.

1096. Then getting a Master of education would be nice.

1097. At least people will pay you more in the future.

1098. A-Ho was with Shen Chia-Yi for only five months.

1099. But that was more than enough to make me jealous like hell.

1100. Fuck, what's happening?

1101. Shit.

1102. Fuck, what's going on!

1103. Ghost! Ghost! Let's get the hell out of here!

1104. Shit... ghost? Where? Where?

1105. This is crazy, man!

1106. My mom just called and said that the hotel next to my house just collapsed.

1107. You are from Taipei, aren't you?

1108. So the epicenter is in Taipei?

1109. It's too crowded here, the system is probably overloaded.

1110. Try to give it a shot at somewhere less crowded.

1111. Are you sure?

1112. I don't know.

1113. Hello.

1114. Ko-Teng?

1115. I am safe, don't worry.

1116. Everyone is out on the street, though.

1117. Thank god

1118. I heard that the epicenter is in Taipei.

1119. And the whole building collapsed

1120. anyway.

1121. Good to hear that you are safe.

1122. Thank you.

1123. Alright then

1124. better go.

1125. Wait a minute

1126. I am touched, really.

1127. Yeah right.

1128. You are the girl that I chased for years!

1129. Who else is going to share this memory with me

1130. if you are gone.

1131. Hey, come on.

1132. You didn't even try to contact me in the past two years.

1133. You didn't call either.

1134. How dare you mention it.

1135. So, what have you been doing lately?

1136. Nothing much, really.

1137. Same old thing, studying.

1138. What about you?

1139. Still skipping classes?

1140. Of course

1141. I never liked studying anyway

1142. I only studied because of you.

1143. Wow! So sweet.

1144. We had a long chat that night, talking about the old days.

1145. The old days when I tried everything to get closer to her.

1146. So, do you have a boyfriend now?

1147. It's none of your business.

1148. I... um...

1149. I... was with A-Ho for a while

1150. I know

1151. I heard.

1152. Why did you guys split up?

1153. I didn't want to ask him cause that just made me want to kick his ass.

1154. Was he mean to you?

1155. Not really

1156. I just felt that he didn't like me that much.

1157. No, A-Ho was crazy about you, head over heels!

1158. Having being loved by you makes it harder for me to feel other's love.

1159. You are kidding me right?

1160. Don't ruin it now.

1161. Hey, Shen Chia-Yi.

1162. Can I ask you a question?

1163. Why didn't you want to be with me at that time?

1164. You know...

1165. People always say that the most wonderful time of a relationship

1166. happens before it really happens.

1167. When two people are together.

1168. The magic vanishes easily.

1169. So I thought it'd be better if I let you chase me longer.

1170. Otherwise, if we got together right away, it'd be less fun.

1171. Man, that's slack!

1172. Shen Chia-Yi.

1173. Do you believe in parallel universe?

1174. Maybe in that universe, we are together.

1175. How I envy them.

1176. Thank you for liking me.

1177. Yes.

1178. Thank you for letting me like you in those years.

1179. You are always the apple of my eye.

1180. Then it came to Senior year.

1181. Everyone around me was preparing for grad schools

1182. I had no idea what I wanted to do at that time.

1183. Everyone was studying so hard and it made me nervous.

1184. So I decided to join them in the library.

1185. And out of the blue, I started to write stories on my blog.

1186. Tsao didn't make his way to NBA.

1187. He ended up selling second hand cars.

1188. And it turned out he's pretty good at it.

1189. On average, he sells one car every other day.

1190. Unbelievable.

1191. The engine never lies.

1192. Here.

1193. Put your foot on the gas gently.

1194. Hear that sound?

1195. It's this powerful before we upgrade it, can you imagine if we do?

1196. I bet it is going to run over 2000 rpm when it hits the road.

1197. The horsepower is beyond your imagination.

1198. What do you think? You like it?

1199. I like it.

1200. Well then, how about we take this beast out for a ride?

1201. Okay.

1202. GO

1203. Groin passed the government worker's exam.

1204. He is now working as a librarian.

1205. Which he gets to play perform magic to young innocent girls every day.

1206. See this book? Blow on it.

1207. Now, pay attention.

1208. Are you nuts?

1209. Stop there.

1210. A-Ho became an insurance sales man.

1211. He loves driving his car.

1212. Every day he spends about 12 hours in it, even though it's tough

1213. I do believe he will succeed one day.

1214. After all he is the only person who has officially dated Shen Chia-Yi.

1215. Hello, is this Mr. Lee?

1216. Yes, speaking.

1217. Hi, remember the insurance plan that I talked to you about last time?

1218. I have already gathered all the information for you.

1219. Just wondering when is a good time to pay you a visit in your office.

1220. Boner flew to America for graduate school immediately after his military service.

1221. Boner's English sucked

1222. I don't know how the hell he had the guts to go to the States.

1223. Perhaps he wanted to masturbate in a different country.

1224. If you can't stand it, just come back, understand?

1225. Ma, stop talking nonsense

1226. I am serious.

1227. If it's too hard, then just come back

1228. I will not blame you, I promise.

1229. Fine, I got it.

1230. Okay, it's dad's turn to say good-bye now.

1231. Two years gone by while Boner was overseas.

1232. Oh, yes, and there is Hu Chia-Wei.

1233. That girl who always drew retarded stuff in her books.

1234. She now has another name.

1235. Wan Wan.

1236. So it proves that those who realize their dreams

1237. are often not the most clever ones in school.

1238. But they are definitely those who persist till the end

1239. I am very glad that I was wrong.

1240. When Boner came home with a foreign degree

1241. I received a phone call.

1242. Hello.

1243. Hello, old friend, are you busy?

1244. Of course I am busy

1245. I don't care, there is something that I want you to be the first to know.

1246. What is it?

1247. You got time for me to go after you again?

1248. Not this time, I am afraid.

1249. Why?

1250. Hurry up!

1251. It's a big day today.

1252. You want to make the bride wait for you?

1253. Cheers.

1254. Regret it now?

1255. I was so available back then, but you guys all went for Shen Chia-Yi.

1256. So does that mean I still have a chance?

1257. You suck!

1258. I got to tell you something

1259. I wasn't really serious about chasing after Shen Chia-Yi before.

1260. Why?

1261. I just didn't want to miss out.

1262. Everyone went after her, so I did, too.

1263. In comparison to me

1264. I must say, you guys are shameless.

1265. She is the bride today, but none of you is the groom.

1266. How dare you guys show your faces at this wedding.

1267. Shameless!

1268. Hsu Bo-Chun.

1269. Kiss my ass.

1270. Just drink!

1271. Oh, please, I have dated her, haven't I?

1272. That was a scam.

1273. Exactly, cheater!

1274. Hey, let's make a bet.

1275. Let's do paper, scissors stone.

1276. The loser

1277. will have to trip the groom when they walk in later.

1278. What the hell was that? It's embarrassing!

1279. You guys are mean. Can't you just show some love to the couple?

1280. You won't understand.

1281. If you really like a girl.

1282. It is impossible to see her marry to another guy and still bless them.

1283. That's right.

1284. True love means someone should sneak up and stabs the groom in the back.

1285. Correct.

1286. Trip him!

1287. But I am wrong.

1288. In fact, when you really like a girl, you'd be happy for her.

1289. When you see her finding her Mr. Right.

1290. You will want them to be together.

1291. And to live happily ever after.

1292. Come closer.

1293. One more, ready

1294. 1,2, 3, go.

1295. OK

1296. Congratulations, happy marriage.

1297. Come, quickly

1298. I want to stand next to Shen Chia-Yi.

1299. We should take more photos.

1300. How do I look? Get a pretty one for me.

1301. All right. Here it comes.

1302. Ready.

1303. Ok, one, two, three, go.

1304. One more, one, two, three... done.

1305. OK

1306. Thank you.

1307. Hey, man, we have a suggestion.

1308. About what?

1309. See, the thing is that we have loaded you with cash.

1310. Don't you think we have the right to kiss the bride?

1311. Well, I am fine if she says fine.

1312. Well, fine.

1313. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1314. You can kiss the bride.

1315. But you have to kiss me first.

1316. Kiss me the way you want to kiss her, so that's fair.

1317. Bullshit!

1318. What kind of rule is that?

1319. Yeah, no way.

1320. Don't be stingy.

1321. That is not right.

1322. Well then... sorry.

1323. Ha, ha... Look at yourself, guys.

1324. What?

1325. Thank you for yesterday.

1326. Are you for real?

1327. A quiz made out of love...

1328. You made so many mistakes.

1329. You did the problems without reading the exercise book, didn't you?

1330. Shen Chia-Yi.

1331. You were so cool when you shouted at him.

1332. You look so pretty when you cry, too.

1333. Even though we are not seeing each other yet.

1334. But those guys who you don't even know.

1335. Can you not let them hold your hands?

1336. I haven't even held them myself.

1337. You held this game and got yourself hurt.

1338. How can you be so childish?

1339. Childish?

1340. Yes, childish.

1341. Very childish and totally immature.

1342. Idiot.

1343. Yes, I am an idiot.

1344. Moron.

1345. Only a moron can keep on trying to chase you for such a long time.

1346. You don't understand anything.

1347. You're right, I don't!

1348. Sorry

1349. I was the immature one.

1350. Being able to solve these tricky math questions does not help anything in life!

1351. You want to bet?

1352. I won't even know what “log” means ten years later.

1353. And it doesn't make my life any harder.

1354. Emmmm.

1355. You don't believe me

1356. I do believe you.

1357. Then, why do you still work so hard?

1358. You don't expect returns from everything you do.

1359. Do you want to know the answer?

1360. If Ko Ching-Teng comes and confesses to me I will be very happy.

1361. Shen Chia-Yi

1362. I like you very much.

1363. How I envy them.

1364. Thank you for liking me.

1365. Well then, I am just going to keep on acting childish.

1366. Sure, why not!

1367. Hey, Yankees.

1368. Yeah!

1369. A- Chian.

1370. Hey, Ko-Teng.

1371. Have you thought about writing our story?

1372. Of course I did!

1373. I just haven't come up a good name to start with.

1374. Hey, can you leave out the part which I was masturbating?

1375. Sorry man... that has to be in the story.

1376. If you really are going to write it.

1377. Don't forget to let your readers know how handsome I am.

1378. By the way, can you put in some dating advertisements for me, too!

1379. Come on, I thought you are going after Wan Wan?

1380. Haha, doesn't really matter.

1381. This is the last image we shot before wrapping up shooting.

1382. The director conspired with the make-up artist to prank the cast.

1383. And painted Michelle Chen's face into...