1. I'm going for a cup of tea.
Do you want one?Copy !req
2. Do you want
a cup of tea, Withnail?Copy !req
3. No.Copy !req
4. 13 million Londoners
have to wake up to this.Copy !req
5. And murder
and All-Bran and rape.Copy !req
6. I'm sitting
in this bloody shack
and can't cope with Withnail.Copy !req
7. I must be out
of my mind.Copy !req
8. I must go home
at once and discuss
his problems in depth.Copy !req
9. I've some extremely
distressing news.Copy !req
10. I don't wanna hear it.
I don't wanna hear anything.Copy !req
11. My God! It's a nightmare.
I tell you it's a nightmare.Copy !req
12. We've just run out of wine.
What are we gonna
do about it?Copy !req
13. I don't know.
I don't know.Copy !req
14. Oh, God.
I don't feel good.Copy !req
15. My thumbs
have gone weird!Copy !req
16. I'm in the middle
of a bloody overdose.Copy !req
17. Oh, God.Copy !req
18. My heart's beating
like a fucked clock.Copy !req
19. I feel dreadful.
I feel really dreadful.Copy !req
20. So do I.
So does everybody.Copy !req
21. Look at my tongue.Copy !req
22. It's wearing a yellow sock.Copy !req
23. Sit down, for Christ's sake.
What's the matter with you?Copy !req
24. Eat some sugar.Copy !req
25. Listen to this.
"Curse of the Supermen.Copy !req
26. I took drugs
to win medals, says
top athlete Jeff Wode."Copy !req
27. Where's the coffee?Copy !req
28. "In a world exclusive
interview, 33 year old
shot putter, Jeff Wode,Copy !req
29. "who weighs 317 pounds,
admitted taking massive
doses of anabolic steroids,Copy !req
30. "drugs banned in sport,Copy !req
31. "He used to get in bad
tempers and act daft,
says his wife,Copy !req
32. "He used to pick on me,
but now he's stopped.Copy !req
33. He's much better
in our sex life
and our general life."Copy !req
34. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
35. This huge thatched
head with its ear
lobes and cannonballCopy !req
36. is now considered sane.Copy !req
37. "Jeff Wode
is feeling better.Copy !req
38. "And is now prepared
to step back into societyCopy !req
39. and start tossing
his orb about."Copy !req
40. Look at it!
Look at Jeff Wode.Copy !req
41. His head must weigh
50 pounds on its own.Copy !req
42. I magine the size
of his balls.Copy !req
43. I magine getting
into a fight with the fucker.Copy !req
44. Please! I don't feel good.Copy !req
45. That's what you'd say.Copy !req
46. But that wouldn't
wash with Jeff. No.Copy !req
47. He'd like a bit of pleading.
Adds spice to it!Copy !req
48. I n fact, he'd probably
tell you what he was
gonna doCopy !req
49. before he did it.Copy !req
50. "I'm gonna pull
your head off."Copy !req
51. "No, please,
don't pull my head off."Copy !req
52. "I'm gonna pull
your head off because
I don't like your head."Copy !req
53. Have you got some soup?Copy !req
54. Why don't I get any soup?Copy !req
55. It's coffee.Copy !req
56. Why don't you use a cup
like any other human being?Copy !req
57. Why don't you wash up
occasionally like any
other human being?Copy !req
58. How dare you?
How dare you,Copy !req
59. how dare you
call me inhumane?Copy !req
60. I didn't call you inhumane.
You merely imagined that.
Calm down.Copy !req
61. Right you fucker. I'm
gonna do the washing up.Copy !req
62. No, you can't.
It's impossible.Copy !req
63. I swear to you
I've looked into it.
Listen to me. Listen to me!Copy !req
64. There are things in there.
There is a teabag growing.Copy !req
65. You haven't slept in 60 hours,
you're in no state
to tackle it.Copy !req
66. Wait till the morning.
We'll go in together.Copy !req
67. This is the morning.
Stand aside.Copy !req
68. You don't understand.
I think there may be
something living in there.Copy !req
69. I think there may
be something alive.Copy !req
70. What do you mean?
A rat?Copy !req
71. It's possible.
It's possible.Copy !req
72. Then the fucker
will rue the day.Copy !req
73. Oh, Christ Almighty.Copy !req
74. Sinew in nicotine base.Copy !req
75. Keep back.
Keep back.Copy !req
76. The entire sink's gone rotten.Copy !req
77. I don't know
what's in here.Copy !req
78. Ah. Ah!Copy !req
79. I told you.
You've been bitten!Copy !req
80. Burnt. Burnt. The fucking
kettle's on fire!Copy !req
81. There's something
floating up.Copy !req
82. Fork it!Copy !req
83. No, I don't wanna touch it.Copy !req
84. You must! The poop
will bore through
the glazeCopy !req
85. we'll never be able
to use the dinner
service again.Copy !req
86. Here, get it with the pliers.Copy !req
87. No, no. The gloves.
Get me the gloves.Copy !req
88. Right. Put on the gloves.Copy !req
89. Don't attempt anything
without the gloves.Copy !req
90. Ugh.Copy !req
91. What is it?
What have you found?Copy !req
92. Matter.Copy !req
93. Matter? Where's
it coming from?Copy !req
94. Don't come.
Don't look.Copy !req
95. I'm dealing with it.Copy !req
96. I think we've been
in here too long.Copy !req
97. I feel unusual.Copy !req
98. I think we should go outside.Copy !req
99. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
100. Look at me. I'm 30 in a month
and I've got a sole flapping
off my shoe.Copy !req
101. It will get better.
It has to.Copy !req
102. Easy for you
to say, lovey.Copy !req
103. You've had
an audition. Why
can't I have an audition?Copy !req
104. It's ridiculous.
I've been to drama
school, I'm good looking,Copy !req
105. I've a fuck sight more
talent than half the rubbish
that gets on television.Copy !req
106. Why can't I
get on television?Copy !req
107. I don't know.
It'll happen.Copy !req
108. Will it?
That's what you say.Copy !req
109. The only program
I'm likely to get on
is the fucking news.Copy !req
110. I tell you,
I can't take
much more of this.Copy !req
111. I'm gonna crack.Copy !req
112. I'm in the same boat.Copy !req
113. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
114. I feel as sick
as a Pike.Copy !req
115. I'm gonna have
to sit down.Copy !req
116. You know
what we should do?Copy !req
117. I say, you know
what we should do?Copy !req
118. How can I
possibly know
what we should do?Copy !req
119. What should we do?Copy !req
120. Get out of here
for a while,Copy !req
121. into the countryside,
rejuvenate.Copy !req
122. Rejuvenate? I'm in a park
and I'm practically dead.Copy !req
123. What good's
the countryside?Copy !req
124. What time is it?Copy !req
125. It's eight.Copy !req
126. Four hours
to opening time.Copy !req
127. God help us.Copy !req
128. Have we got
any embrocation?Copy !req
129. What for?Copy !req
130. To rub on us,
you fool!Copy !req
131. We can cover ourselves
in deep heat and get up
against the radiator.Copy !req
132. Keep ourselves
alive till twelve.Copy !req
133. Jesus, look at that.Copy !req
134. Apart from
a raw potato that's
the only solid thingCopy !req
135. to pass my lips
in the last 60 hours.Copy !req
136. I must be ill.Copy !req
137. And for once I am
inclined to believe
that Withnail is right.Copy !req
138. We are indeed drifting
into the arena of the unwell,Copy !req
139. making an enemy
of our own future.Copy !req
140. What we need is harmony.Copy !req
141. Fresh air
and stuff like that.Copy !req
142. Wasn't much in the tube.
There's nothing left for you.Copy !req
143. Why don't you ask
your father for some money?Copy !req
144. If we had some money
we could go away.Copy !req
145. Why don't you ask
your father? How can
it be so cold in here?Copy !req
146. It's like Greenland in here.Copy !req
147. We've got to get
some booze.Copy !req
148. It's the only solution
for this intense cold.Copy !req
149. Something's got to be done.Copy !req
150. We can't go on like this!Copy !req
151. I'm a trained actor
reduced to the state
of a bum!Copy !req
152. Look at us.
Nothing that reasonable
members of societyCopy !req
153. demand as their rights.Copy !req
154. No fridges,
no televisions, no phones.Copy !req
155. M uch more of this
and I'm going to apply
for "Meals on Wheels."Copy !req
156. What happened
to your cigar commercial?Copy !req
157. That's what I want to know.Copy !req
158. What happened to my agent?
The bastard must've died.Copy !req
159. September. It's
a bad patch.Copy !req
160. Rubbish! I haven't
seen Gielgud down
the Labour Exchange.Copy !req
161. Why doesn't he retire?Copy !req
162. Oh, look at this
little bastard.Copy !req
163. "Boy lands plum role
for top Italian director."
Of course he does!Copy !req
164. Probably on a tenner a day,Copy !req
165. and I know what for,
two pounds ten for a titCopy !req
166. and a fiver for his arse.Copy !req
167. Have you been
at the controls?Copy !req
168. What?Copy !req
169. The thermostats.
What have you done to them?Copy !req
170. I haven't touched them.Copy !req
171. Then why has
my head gone numb?Copy !req
172. I must have some booze.Copy !req
173. I demand to have some booze!Copy !req
174. I wouldn't drink that
if I were you.Copy !req
175. Why not?Copy !req
176. Because I
don't advise it.Copy !req
177. Even the wankers
on the site wouldn't
drink that.Copy !req
178. That's worse than meths.Copy !req
179. Nonsense. This is far
superior to meths.Copy !req
180. Wankers don't drink it
because they can't
afford it.Copy !req
181. Liar. What's
in your tool box?Copy !req
182. We have nothing.
Sit down.Copy !req
183. Liar. You've
got antifreeze.Copy !req
184. You bloody fool.
You should never
mix your drinks.Copy !req
185. All right.
This is the plan.Copy !req
186. We'll get in there
and get wrecked.Copy !req
187. Then we'll eat a pork
pie and drop a couple
of Surmontil 50s each.Copy !req
188. Means we'll miss out Monday,
but come up smiling
Tuesday morning.Copy !req
189. What's that appalling smell?Copy !req
190. Perfume on my boots.
I had to scrub them
with essence of petunia.Copy !req
191. Two large gins.
Two pints of cider.
Ice in the cider.Copy !req
192. If my father was loaded
I'd ask him for some money.Copy !req
193. If your
father was my father
you wouldn't get it.Copy !req
194. Here lads.Copy !req
195. Chin chin.Copy !req
196. Oh.Copy !req
197. You know
what's his name?Copy !req
198. What about him?Copy !req
199. Why don't you
give him a call?Copy !req
200. What for?Copy !req
201. Ask him
about his house?Copy !req
202. You want me to call
what's his name and ask
him about his house?Copy !req
203. Why not?Copy !req
204. All right.
What's his number?Copy !req
205. I've no idea,
I've never met him.Copy !req
206. Neither have
I. Who the fuck are
you talking about?Copy !req
207. Your relative,
with the house
in the country.Copy !req
208. Uncle Monty?Copy !req
209. That's the one.Copy !req
210. Get the Jag fixed up
and spend the week
in the country.Copy !req
211. All right. Give us
a tenner and I'll
give him a bell.Copy !req
212. Here, get a couple
more in.Copy !req
213. I'm going for a slash.Copy !req
214. Ponce.Copy !req
215. I could hardly piss
straight with fear.Copy !req
216. A man with three
quarters of an inch of brain
had taken a dislike to me.Copy !req
217. What have I done
to offend him?Copy !req
218. I don't consciously offend
big men like this,Copy !req
219. he has a definite
imbalance of hormone in him.Copy !req
220. Get any more masculine
than him you'd have
to live up a tree.Copy !req
221. I fuck arses?
Who fucks arses?Copy !req
222. Maybe he fucks arses.Copy !req
223. Maybe he's written
this in some moment
of drunken sincerity.Copy !req
224. I'm in considerable
danger in here. I must
get out of here at once.Copy !req
225. Perfumed ponce!Copy !req
226. Balls to Monty.
We're getting out.Copy !req
227. Balls to Monty?
I've just spent
an hour flattering the bugger.Copy !req
228. There's one over
there that doesn't like
the perfume. The big one.Copy !req
229. Don't look.
We're in danger.
We've got to get out.Copy !req
230. What are
you talking about?Copy !req
231. I've been
called a ponce.Copy !req
232. What fucker said that?Copy !req
233. I called him
a ponce.Copy !req
234. And now I'm calling
you one. Ponce!Copy !req
235. Would you like
a drink?Copy !req
236. What's your name?
Mac Fuck?Copy !req
237. I have a heart condition.Copy !req
238. I have a heart condition.
If you hit me, it's murder.Copy !req
239. I'll murder
the pair of you.Copy !req
240. My wife is having a baby.Copy !req
241. but it's nothing
to do with me.Copy !req
242. I suggest you both go outside
and discuss it sensiblyCopy !req
243. in the street.Copy !req
244. Ah!Copy !req
245. Out of my
way, Marwood!Copy !req
246. Time change.
You lose, you gain.Copy !req
247. Makes no difference
as long as you keep
taking the pills.Copy !req
248. But sooner or later
you've got to get out
because it's crashing.Copy !req
249. And all at once
those frozen hours melt
through the nervous systemCopy !req
250. and seep out the pores.Copy !req
251. Bastards.Copy !req
252. Just to suck some miserable
cheap cigar and the bastards
won't see me.Copy !req
253. Why are we having
lunch in here?Copy !req
254. It's dinner
and Danny's here.Copy !req
255. Danny? How did he get in?Copy !req
256. I let him in
this morning. He's
lost one of his clogs.Copy !req
257. He's come in because
of his perpetual cold.Copy !req
258. I hope tobacco
sales plummet.Copy !req
259. I got your
saveloy. Here.Copy !req
260. I don't want it.Copy !req
261. Then stick it
in the soap tray
and save it for later.Copy !req
262. Don't vent spleen on me.
I'm in the same boat.Copy !req
263. Stop saying that!
You're not in the same boat.Copy !req
264. The only thing you're in
that I've been in is
this fucking bath.Copy !req
265. Danny's here.Copy !req
266. Head hunter to his friends.Copy !req
267. Head hunter to everybody.
He doesn't have any friends.Copy !req
268. The only people he converses
with are his clientsCopy !req
269. and occasionally, the police.Copy !req
270. The purveyor of rare herbs
and prescribed chemicals
is back.Copy !req
271. Will we never be set free?Copy !req
272. Danny.Copy !req
273. St. Peter preached
the epistles to the apostles
looking like that.Copy !req
274. Have you got any food?Copy !req
275. Hm. As a matter a fact
I've got a saveloy.Copy !req
276. How much is it?Copy !req
277. You can have it
for nothing.Copy !req
278. You're wearing a suit.Copy !req
279. What's it gotta
do with you?Copy !req
280. I happened to be
looking for a suit for
the coal-man two weeks ago.Copy !req
281. For reasons I can't
really discuss with you.Copy !req
282. The coal-man had to go
to Jamaica, got busted
coming back through Heathrow.Copy !req
283. Had a weight
under his fez.Copy !req
284. We worked out that it
would be handy karma
for him to get hold of a suitCopy !req
285. but he's a very
low temperature
spade, the coal-man.Copy !req
286. This doesn't go
down at all well.Copy !req
287. They can handle
the kaftan. They
can't handle the bell.Copy !req
288. So there's this judge
sitting there in a cape
like fucking BatmanCopy !req
289. with this
far out looking hat—Copy !req
290. Wig.Copy !req
291. No, man. This was
more like a long white hat.Copy !req
292. So he looks
at the coal-man
and says,Copy !req
293. "What's all this?
This is a Courtroom.Copy !req
294. This ain't fancy dress?"Copy !req
295. And the coal-man
looks at him and says,Copy !req
296. "You think you look normal,
Your Honor?"Copy !req
297. The cunt gives him two years.Copy !req
298. I'm afraid I can't offer
you gentlemen anything.Copy !req
299. That's what I thought.
Except for personal use,
I concur with you.Copy !req
300. As a matter of fact,
I'm considering retiring
and going into business.Copy !req
301. Doing what?Copy !req
302. The toy industry.Copy !req
303. I thought you were
in the bottle industry.Copy !req
304. No, man. That's a sideline.Copy !req
305. You can have that.Copy !req
306. I nstructions are included.Copy !req
307. Yeah, my partner's
got a really good
idea for making dolls.Copy !req
308. His name's Presuming Ed.Copy !req
309. His sister gave him the idea.
She's got a doll on Christmas
what pisses itself.Copy !req
310. Really?Copy !req
311. Then you gotta change
its drawers for it.Copy !req
312. It's horrible,
really but they like
that, the little girls.Copy !req
313. So we're gonna make one
that shits itself as well.Copy !req
314. Shits itself?Copy !req
315. He's an expert.
He's building
the prototype now.Copy !req
316. Why is he behaving
so up-tightly?Copy !req
317. Because a gang of cheroot
vendors considered a haircutCopy !req
318. beyond the limit
of my abilities.Copy !req
319. I don't advise
a haircut, man.Copy !req
320. All hairdressers
are in the employment
of the government.Copy !req
321. Hair are your aerials,
they pick up signals
from the CosmosCopy !req
322. and transmit them
directly into the brain.Copy !req
323. This is the reason
bald-headed men are uptight.Copy !req
324. What absolute twaddle.Copy !req
325. Has he just been busted?Copy !req
326. No.Copy !req
327. Then why is he wearing
that old suit?Copy !req
328. Old suit?Copy !req
329. This suit was cut
by Hawkes of Saville Row.Copy !req
330. Just because the best
tailoring you've seenCopy !req
331. is above
your fucking appendix
doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
332. Don't get uptight
with me.Copy !req
333. 'Cause if you do,
I'll have to give you
a dose of medicine.Copy !req
334. And if I spike you,
you'll know you've
been spoken to.Copy !req
335. You wouldn't spike me.
You're too mean.Copy !req
336. Besides, there's nothing
invented I couldn't take.Copy !req
337. If I medicined you,
you'd think a brain tumor
was a birthday present.Copy !req
338. I could take double
anything you could.Copy !req
339. Very, very
foolish words, man.Copy !req
340. He's right, Withnail.Copy !req
341. Look at him.
His mechanism's gone.Copy !req
342. He's had more
drugs than you've
had hot dinners.Copy !req
343. I'm not having
this shag-sack
insulting me.Copy !req
344. Let him get
his drugs out.Copy !req
345. This doll
is extremely dangerous.Copy !req
346. It has Voo-Doo qualities.Copy !req
347. Trade Phenodihydrochloride
benzorex.Copy !req
348. Street. The Embalmer.Copy !req
349. Balls. I'll swallow it
and run a mile.Copy !req
350. Cool your boots, man.Copy !req
351. This pill's valued
at two quid.Copy !req
352. Two quid!
You're out of your mind.Copy !req
353. That's sense, Withnail.Copy !req
354. You can stuff it up
your arse for nothingCopy !req
355. and fuck off
while you're doing it.Copy !req
356. No need to insult me, man.Copy !req
357. I was leaving anyway.Copy !req
358. Have either of you
got shoes?Copy !req
359. Monty's car.Copy !req
360. Well, hello.Copy !req
361. Come in.Copy !req
362. Sit down, do.Copy !req
363. Would you
like a drink?Copy !req
364. Sherry.Copy !req
365. Sherry?Copy !req
366. Sherry.Copy !req
367. Do you
like vegetables?Copy !req
368. I've always been
fond of rootCopy !req
369. but I've only started
to grow last summer.Copy !req
370. I happen to think
the cauliflower more
beautiful than the rose.Copy !req
371. Chin chin.Copy !req
372. Do you grow—Copy !req
373. Geraniums.Copy !req
374. Oh, you
little traitors.Copy !req
375. I think
the carrot infinitely
more fascinatingCopy !req
376. than the Geranium.Copy !req
377. Hm. The carrot
has mystery.Copy !req
378. Flowers are
essentially tarts.Copy !req
379. Prostitutes for
the bees.Copy !req
380. There is,
you will agree,
a certain "je nes c'cst quoi"Copy !req
381. oh, so very
special about
a firm young carrot—Copy !req
382. Hm. Excuse me.Copy !req
383. Do help yourselves
to another drink.Copy !req
384. What's all this?
The man's mad!Copy !req
385. Eccentric.Copy !req
386. Eccentric? He's insane.Copy !req
387. Not only that,
he's a raving homosexual.Copy !req
388. Beastly little parasite!Copy !req
389. How dare you?
You little thug.
How dare you?Copy !req
390. Beastly, ungrateful
little swine.Copy !req
391. Shall I get
you a drink, Monty?Copy !req
392. Yes, please,
dear boy.Copy !req
393. You can prepare
me a small rhesus
negative Bloody Mary.Copy !req
394. You must tell me
all the news.Copy !req
395. I haven't seen
you since you've
finished the last film.Copy !req
396. Rather busy, Uncle.
TV and stuff.Copy !req
397. My agent's attempting
to edge meCopy !req
398. towards the
Royal Shakespeare
Company again.Copy !req
399. He's just had
an audition for rep.Copy !req
400. Oh, splendid.
So you're a Thespian, too?Copy !req
401. Monty used to act.Copy !req
402. Oh, I'd hardly say that.Copy !req
403. It's true, I crept
the boards in my youth,Copy !req
404. but I never really
had it in my bloodCopy !req
405. And that's what's
so essential, isn't it?
Theatrical zeal in the veins?Copy !req
406. AIas, I have a little
more than vintage wine
and memories.Copy !req
407. It is the most shattering
experience of a young
man's lifeCopy !req
408. when one morning he awakes
and quite reasonably
says to himself,Copy !req
409. I will never play the Dane.Copy !req
410. When that moment comesCopy !req
411. one's ambition ceases.Copy !req
412. Don't you agree?Copy !req
413. It's a part I intend
to play, Uncle.Copy !req
414. And it'll be marvelous.Copy !req
415. Marvelous.Copy !req
416. It's gone.Copy !req
417. We do it wrong
being so majesticalCopy !req
418. to offer it
to the show of violence.Copy !req
419. Let's get out of here.
He's a madman.Copy !req
420. He's gonna rush out
and get into his tights.Copy !req
421. Okay. Gimme a minute.Copy !req
422. The house or out.Copy !req
423. Could I have a word
with you, Monty?Copy !req
424. Oh, forgive me,
dear boy,Copy !req
425. I was allowing memory
to have the better of me.Copy !req
426. Shall I get you
a drink, Monty?Copy !req
427. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
428. indeed I remember
my first agent.Copy !req
429. Raymond Duck.Copy !req
430. He was a dreadful
little Israelite.Copy !req
431. Four floors up
on the Charing Cross RoadCopy !req
432. and never a job
on the top of them.Copy !req
433. I'm told
you're a writer, too.Copy !req
434. Do you write poems?Copy !req
435. No, I wish I could.
It's just thoughts, really.Copy !req
436. Are you published?Copy !req
437. Oh, no.Copy !req
438. Where did you school?Copy !req
439. He went to the other
place, Monty.Copy !req
440. Oh, he went to Eton.Copy !req
441. Get that damned
swine out of here.Copy !req
442. It's time to get itself
in with you. It's trying
for even more advantage.Copy !req
443. It's obsessed with its gut.
It's like a bloody rugby
ball now.Copy !req
444. It will die.
It will die!Copy !req
445. Monty, Monty.Copy !req
446. No, no, dear boy.
You must leave.
You must leave.Copy !req
447. Yet again that oaf
has destroyed my day.Copy !req
448. Listen. Can I have
just a quick word
with you?Copy !req
449. Oh, very well.Copy !req
450. Good night, my dears.Copy !req
451. Good night, Monty.Copy !req
452. What all this going off
in private business?Copy !req
453. Why did you say
I went to Eton?Copy !req
454. Because it helped.Copy !req
455. I was establishing you
in a context he'd understand.Copy !req
456. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
457. I mean, free to those
that can afford it, and very
expensive to those who can't.Copy !req
458. Scrubbers!Copy !req
459. Up yours, Granddad!Copy !req
460. Scrubbers!Copy !req
461. Scrubbers!Copy !req
462. Shut up.Copy !req
463. Little tarts.
They love it.Copy !req
464. I'm trying
to drive this thing
as quietly as possible.Copy !req
465. If you don't shut up
we'll get stopped
by the police.Copy !req
466. Give me the bottle.Copy !req
467. These aren't accidents,
they're throwing themselves
into the road! Gladly!Copy !req
468. Throwing themselves
into this road to escape
all this hideousness,Copy !req
469. throw yourself
into the road, darling.
You haven't got a chance.Copy !req
470. What do you want
a child for?Copy !req
471. To tutor it in the way
of righteousness,Copy !req
472. and procure
some uncontaminated urine.Copy !req
473. This is a device
enabling the drunken driver
to operate in absolute safety.Copy !req
474. You fill this with piss,
take this pipe down
to the trouserCopy !req
475. and sellotape this valve
to the end of the old chap.Copy !req
476. Then you get horribly
drunk and they can't
fucking touch you.Copy !req
477. According to these
instructions, you refuse
everything but a urine sample.Copy !req
478. You undo your valve,Copy !req
479. and give them a dose
of unadulterated
child's piss.Copy !req
480. And they have to give
you your keys back.Copy !req
481. Danny's a genius.Copy !req
482. I'm gonna have a dose.Copy !req
483. Are we there?Copy !req
484. No, we're not.Copy !req
485. We're here, in the middle
of a fucking gale.Copy !req
486. You'll have to keep
a lookout your side.Copy !req
487. If you see anything
tell me. And get hold
of that map.Copy !req
488. Where's the whiskey?Copy !req
489. What for?Copy !req
490. I got a bastard
behind the eyes.Copy !req
491. I can't take aspirins
without a drink.Copy !req
492. Where's the aspirins?Copy !req
493. Probably in the bathroom.Copy !req
494. And we've come out hereCopy !req
495. in the middle of fucking
nowhere without aspirins?Copy !req
496. Where are we?Copy !req
497. How should I know?
I feel like a pig
shat on my head.Copy !req
498. Well, get hold
of that mapCopy !req
499. and look for a place
called "Crow Crag."Copy !req
500. There must
and shall be aspirinCopy !req
501. Give me the key
and get out of the way.Copy !req
502. If I don't
get aspirinCopy !req
503. I shall die here,
on this fucking
mountainside.Copy !req
504. Christ Almighty!Copy !req
505. Monty?Copy !req
506. What are you doing?Copy !req
507. Sitting down
to enjoy my holiday.Copy !req
508. Right. Now we're going
to have to approach
this scientifically.Copy !req
509. First thing
we've got to do
is get this fire alight.Copy !req
510. Then we'll split
into two fact
finding groups.Copy !req
511. I'll deal
with the water
and other plumbings.Copy !req
512. You can check the fuel
and wood situation.Copy !req
513. What's that?Copy !req
514. Fuel and wood situation.Copy !req
515. There's nothing out
there except a hurricane.Copy !req
516. This place
is uninhabitable.Copy !req
517. Give it a chance.
It's gotta warm up.Copy !req
518. Warm up? We may as well
sit around a cigarette.Copy !req
519. This is ridiculous.
We'll be found dead
in here next spring.Copy !req
520. I've got a blinding
fucking headache.Copy !req
521. I must have heat.Copy !req
522. We've got to keep
this bastard burning.Copy !req
523. Well, we've got enough
furniture for tonight.Copy !req
524. Tomorrow we get down
that farm and get some logs.Copy !req
525. All this is a mistake.
I tell you. This is
a dreadful mistake.Copy !req
526. Who's there?Copy !req
527. Me.Copy !req
528. What do you want?Copy !req
529. I'm a friend
of Montague Withnail.Copy !req
530. He's lent us his cottage.Copy !req
531. I wondered if you could
sell us some food.Copy !req
532. Eggs and things?Copy !req
533. What about wood and coal?Copy !req
534. I'm not from London,
you know.Copy !req
535. I don't care where
you come from!Copy !req
536. Not the attitude
I've been given to expectCopy !req
537. from the H. E. Bates
novel I'd read.Copy !req
538. I thought they'd
all be in the back,Copy !req
539. drinking cider
and discussing butter.Copy !req
540. Clearly a myth.
Evidently, country peopleCopy !req
541. are no more receptive
to strangers than
city dwellers.Copy !req
542. Do you think you could
tell me where I could
buy some coal and wood?Copy !req
543. Where is your son?Copy !req
544. Up in top fields.
You can't miss him.Copy !req
545. His leg's
bound in polythene.Copy !req
546. Ah!Copy !req
547. Withnail, you bastard.
Wake up!Copy !req
548. Oi! Wake up you bastard!
You gotta get wood.Copy !req
549. Jesus, you're
covered in shit.Copy !req
550. I tried to get
fuel and wood.Copy !req
551. There's a miserable
little pensioner down there.Copy !req
552. She wouldn't give it to me.Copy !req
553. Where are we
gonna get it then?Copy !req
554. There's a man
on the mountain,Copy !req
555. why he's up there.
Fuck knows.Copy !req
556. But he's up there with a leg
bound in polythene. You can't
miss him. He's your man.Copy !req
557. And have another
look in that shed.
Find anything.Copy !req
558. If you can't find anything,
bring in the shed.Copy !req
559. How come
Monty owns such
a horrible little shack?Copy !req
560. I've no idea.Copy !req
561. Never discuss your
family, do you?Copy !req
562. I fail to see
my family is of any
interest to you.Copy !req
563. I have absolutely
no interest in yours.Copy !req
564. I dislike
relatives in general
and my own in particular.Copy !req
565. Why?Copy !req
566. Because, I've
told you why.Copy !req
567. We're incompatible.Copy !req
568. They don't like me
being on stage.Copy !req
569. Then they must be
delighted with your career.Copy !req
570. What do you mean?Copy !req
571. You rarely are.Copy !req
572. You just wait.
Just you wait.Copy !req
573. When I strike,
they won't know
what hit them.Copy !req
574. There's a tractor approaching.Copy !req
575. Get after him.
That's the man.Copy !req
576. Hey, stop!Copy !req
577. Stop!Copy !req
578. Stop, please!Copy !req
579. Stop, please!
Please, stop!Copy !req
580. Please, stop.Copy !req
581. Are you the farmer?Copy !req
582. Shut up.
I'll deal with this.Copy !req
583. We've gone
on holiday by mistake.Copy !req
584. We're in this cottage here.
Are you the farmer?Copy !req
585. Stop saying that,
Withnail. Of course
he's the fucking farmer!Copy !req
586. We're friends
of Montague Withnail.Copy !req
587. We desperately
need fuel and wood.Copy !req
588. Montague Withnail.Copy !req
589. You must know
him. Fat man,
owns the cottage.Copy !req
590. I seen a fat man.
London type. Queer sort.Copy !req
591. I think his name's
French or summit.Copy !req
592. French?Copy !req
593. Aye, Adrien de la Touche.
But he ain't been here
for a couple of years.Copy !req
594. Last time I saw him
he were with his son.Copy !req
595. Yeah, that's him.Copy !req
596. We're bona fide.
We're not from London.Copy !req
597. Could we have some
fuel and wood?Copy !req
598. I could bring
some logs later,Copy !req
599. I've got the cows
to feed first.Copy !req
600. When?Copy !req
601. Shut up!
That would be
very nice of you.Copy !req
602. Do you think
you could sell us
something to eat?Copy !req
603. I could bring you a chicken,
but you should go
to the village.Copy !req
604. That would be
very kind, M r—Copy !req
605. Parkin.Copy !req
606. What happened
to your leg?Copy !req
607. Got me
a randy bull up there.
Give me one in knee.Copy !req
608. You wanna get out
the back, don't you?Copy !req
609. Get some spuds up?Copy !req
610. Sorry, I can't.
My boots are
in the oven.Copy !req
611. You'd go out
if you had boots?Copy !req
612. Gladly.Copy !req
613. I've got one!Copy !req
614. Great! How much
do we owe you?Copy !req
615. Er, pay us when
you come down.Copy !req
616. What about
this chicken?Copy !req
617. It's on back.Copy !req
618. Oi.Copy !req
619. Parkin's been.
There's the supper.Copy !req
620. What are we supposed
to do with that?Copy !req
621. Eat it.Copy !req
622. Eat it?
The fucker's alive!Copy !req
623. I know that.
You've got to kill it.Copy !req
624. I'm the fire lighter
and fuel collector.Copy !req
625. I know that
but I got the logs in.Copy !req
626. It takes away
your appetite
looking at it.Copy !req
627. No it doesn't.
I'm starving. How
can we make it die?Copy !req
628. You have
to throttle them.Copy !req
629. I think you should
strangle it instantly,Copy !req
630. in case it tries
to make friends
with us.Copy !req
631. All right. Get hold
of it. You hold it down
and I'll strangle it.Copy !req
632. I can't. It's got
dreadful beady eyes.
They stare you out.Copy !req
633. It's a bloody chicken.
Just think of it with bacon
across its back.Copy !req
634. All right.
I'll deal with this.Copy !req
635. You'll have to get
its guts out.Copy !req
636. Never point guns at people.
It's extremely dangerous.Copy !req
637. What about this roasting
dish? What are we
gonna cook it in?Copy !req
638. You're the food man.
I've no idea.Copy !req
639. I wish I'd found this
an hour ago.Copy !req
640. I'd have taken great
pleasure in gunning
his gullet down.Copy !req
641. Shouldn't it be more
bald than that?Copy !req
642. No, it shouldn't.Copy !req
643. All right.
We're gonna have
to reverse the roles.Copy !req
644. We'll bake
the potatoes
in the oven.Copy !req
645. And we can boil
this bastard
over the fire.Copy !req
646. Let's get
its feet off.Copy !req
647. No, it's gonna
need its feet.Copy !req
648. It can
stand with its legs
either side of that.Copy !req
649. I've already put
a two shilling
piece in.Copy !req
650. No, I haven't
got another.Copy !req
651. Well, it's not my
fault if the system
doesn't work.Copy !req
652. The bitch hung up on me.Copy !req
653. Hello.Copy !req
654. How are you?
Very well.Copy !req
655. A what?Copy !req
656. Why wouldn't
they see me?Copy !req
657. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
658. I haven't been for
a job in three months.Copy !req
659. Understudy Constantine?
I'm not gonna understudy
Constantine,Copy !req
660. why can't
I play the part?Copy !req
661. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
662. No, I'm not in London.
Penrith. Penrith!Copy !req
663. What about TV?Copy !req
664. Listen, I pay you
10 percent to do that.Copy !req
665. Well, then lick 10 percent
of the asses for me then.Copy !req
666. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
667. How dare you?
Fuck you!Copy !req
668. Bastard asked me
to understudy Constantine
in the "Sea Gull."Copy !req
669. I'm not gonna
understudy anybody.Copy !req
670. Specially that
little pimp.Copy !req
671. Anyway, I loathe
those Russian plays.Copy !req
672. Always full of women
staring out of windows,Copy !req
673. whining about ducks
going to Moscow.Copy !req
674. What do you think
of Desmond Wolfe?Copy !req
675. I n respect of what?Copy !req
676. I'm thinking
of changing my name.Copy !req
677. It's too like
Donald Wolfitt.Copy !req
678. Change over point.Copy !req
679. Do you think he's
happier than us?Copy !req
680. No.Copy !req
681. I suppose happiness
is relative.Copy !req
682. But I never thought
it would be a polythene
bag without a hole in it.Copy !req
683. Hey!Copy !req
684. What's the matter
with him?Copy !req
685. Shut the gate!
Shut the gate!Copy !req
686. You didn't shut the gate.Copy !req
687. Stop that bull!Copy !req
688. Grab its ring.
Keep your bag up.Copy !req
689. Out vibe it.Copy !req
690. Hey! Show no fear.
Just run at it.Copy !req
691. That can't be sensible,
the bastard's about
to run at me!Copy !req
692. He's randy.Copy !req
693. I know!Copy !req
694. He wants to have sex
with those cows.Copy !req
695. Shut up, Withnail!Copy !req
696. Run at it shouting!Copy !req
697. Do as he says.
Start shouting.Copy !req
698. It won't gore you.Copy !req
699. A coward you are,
and expert on bulls,
you are not.Copy !req
700. Ah!Copy !req
701. Shut that gate
and keep it shut!Copy !req
702. I think you need
an evening at the Crow.Copy !req
703. It was like walking
into a lung.Copy !req
704. A sulfur stained
and nicotine yellowCopy !req
705. and fly blown lung.Copy !req
706. It's landlord
was a retired alcoholic
with military pretensionsCopy !req
707. and a complexion
like the inside of a teapot.Copy !req
708. By the time the doors opened,
he was arseholed on rum,Copy !req
709. and then got progressively
more arseholed 'till he could
take no moreCopy !req
710. and fell over
about twelve o'clock.Copy !req
711. We'll have
another pair
of large scotches.Copy !req
712. Oh!Copy !req
713. Thought I was going
for a minute.Copy !req
714. No man's
put me down yet.Copy !req
715. Have you had any training
in the martial arts?Copy !req
716. Yes, as a matter
of fact, I have.Copy !req
717. Before I
became a journalist
I was in the Territorials.Copy !req
718. Do you know,
when you first
came in here,Copy !req
719. I knew you were
a services man.Copy !req
720. You can never,
never disguise it.Copy !req
721. What were you in?Copy !req
722. Tanks.Copy !req
723. Africa Corps.Copy !req
724. A little
before your time.Copy !req
725. Don't supposed you've
engaged, have you?Copy !req
726. I reland.Copy !req
727. Oh, a crack
at the M ick.Copy !req
728. We'll have
another pair
of large scotches.Copy !req
729. These shall be
my pleasure.Copy !req
730. What eh, are you
doing up here then?Copy !req
731. We're doing a feature
for Country Life.Copy !req
732. A survey
of rural types.Copy !req
733. You know,
cheers, eh, farmers,
travelling tinkers,Copy !req
734. milkmen and that
sort of thing.Copy !req
735. Have you, eh,Copy !req
736. met Jake?Copy !req
737. Poacher. Works the lake.Copy !req
738. But, eh, keep it
under your hat.Copy !req
739. What's all this
army bullocks?Copy !req
740. We got a drink,
didn't we?Copy !req
741. Time, gentlemen.Copy !req
742. I think he means it.Copy !req
743. Ask him if we
can have one.Copy !req
744. What for?Copy !req
745. So we can eat it.
We're fed up
with stew.Copy !req
746. Excuse me. Could
we have an eel?Copy !req
747. You've got eels
down your leg.Copy !req
748. You leave them alone.Copy !req
749. Nothing down there
of interest to you.Copy !req
750. Help us out, Raymond.Copy !req
751. These have been fed
from asshole to beak.Copy !req
752. What about
one of those pheasants?Copy !req
753. Go on. Ask him.Copy !req
754. Excuse me.Copy !req
755. We were wondering
if we could purchase
a pheasant off of you.Copy !req
756. No. I've got nothing to sell.Copy !req
757. Come on, old boy.
What's in your hump?Copy !req
758. Now look you, them
pheasants are for his pot.Copy !req
759. These eels are for my pot.
Why should I give you
something for your pot?Copy !req
760. What pot?Copy !req
761. Our cooking pot.Copy !req
762. Ah. He knows.Copy !req
763. Hey. Give us
a wheeze on that fag.Copy !req
764. I might come and see
you lads in the week.Copy !req
765. I might fetch
you up a rabbit.Copy !req
766. We don't want a rabbit.
We want a pheasant.Copy !req
767. Listen, you young prat,
I ain't got no pheasants.Copy !req
768. Ain't got no birds,
no more than you have.Copy !req
769. Of course you have.
You're the poacher.Copy !req
770. If I hear more words
out of you,Copy !req
771. I'll put one of these
here black pods on you.Copy !req
772. Don't threaten me
with a dead fish.Copy !req
773. Half dead he may be.Copy !req
774. But I'll come up after you
and I'll wake you up
with a live one.Copy !req
775. Sod your pheasants.
You'll have to find
us first.Copy !req
776. I know where you are.
You're at Crow Craig.Copy !req
777. I've been watching you.Copy !req
778. Especially you,
prancing like a tit.Copy !req
779. You want working on, boy.Copy !req
780. Fancy that silage heap
hanging around up here.Copy !req
781. I'll take
the bastard axe to him!Copy !req
782. Bastards!Copy !req
783. You'll all suffer!Copy !req
784. I'll show the lot of you!Copy !req
785. I'm gonna be a star!Copy !req
786. VVegetables again?
We'll sprout fucking
feelers soon,Copy !req
787. must be 20,000
sheep out there
on those volcanoesCopy !req
788. and we've got
a plateful of carrots.Copy !req
789. There's black
puddings in it.Copy !req
790. Black puddings
are no good to us.Copy !req
791. I want something's flesh.Copy !req
792. Ah!Copy !req
793. Look! Come here.
Down here, look.Copy !req
794. Under the rock.
Look, I can see it.Copy !req
795. Here, look.Copy !req
796. Look. Here. There's
two of them. Look.Copy !req
797. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
798. I think I'll call
myself Donald Twain.Copy !req
799. Stop.Copy !req
800. Down.Copy !req
801. It's him.
What does he want?Copy !req
802. We'd better ask him.Copy !req
803. Don't be a fool.
He's got a gun.
Bastard's psychotic.Copy !req
804. You've only
got to look at him.Copy !req
805. This place
has become impossible.Copy !req
806. Perpetual rain.
Freezing cold.Copy !req
807. And now a bloody madman
on the prowl outside
with eels.Copy !req
808. All right. You've
made your point.Copy !req
809. We'll pack up
and get out tomorrow.Copy !req
810. What are you doing?Copy !req
811. I'm going for a slash.Copy !req
812. You can't.
I can't get my boots
on when they're hot.Copy !req
813. I'll go alone.Copy !req
814. You're not leaving
me in here alone.Copy !req
815. Those are the kind
of windows faces
look in at.Copy !req
816. Then I won't
have a slash.Copy !req
817. I think we should
sleep together tonight.Copy !req
818. Don't be ridiculous.
He won't come here
in the dark.Copy !req
819. If he comes here
and catches one
of us unawaresCopy !req
820. he's got
a much better chance
of dealing with the other.Copy !req
821. No.Copy !req
822. What's the matter
with you?Copy !req
823. What are you
laughing at?Copy !req
824. I was dreaming.
What do you want?Copy !req
825. You've frightened the piss
out of me. Move over,
I'm getting in.Copy !req
826. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
827. I'll have to sleep
in your bed.Copy !req
828. I'll come
with you then.Copy !req
829. Will you get out?Copy !req
830. No.Copy !req
831. Then I will.Copy !req
832. All right.
You can stay but
the gun doesn't.Copy !req
833. No. I intend
to keep awake
till morning.Copy !req
834. This is my bed.
I demand precedence.Copy !req
835. No!Copy !req
836. You fucking bastard!Copy !req
837. Get out. Fuck you.
Fuck off.Copy !req
838. Sh! Listen.Copy !req
839. There's nothing!
Get to bed.Copy !req
840. I heard a noise.Copy !req
841. I must get in.Copy !req
842. Oh, for fuck's sake.Copy !req
843. What was that?Copy !req
844. That's it!Copy !req
845. What is it?Copy !req
846. It's the maniac.Copy !req
847. It's probably foxes
looking for grub.Copy !req
848. Listen.Copy !req
849. Maybe it's the farmer.Copy !req
850. At two o'clock
in the morning?Copy !req
851. It's the killer.
He's come to kill us.Copy !req
852. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
853. He want to get in,
he's trying to get in.Copy !req
854. He can't.
He'll go away.Copy !req
855. He's going away.Copy !req
856. This is all your fault.
You've even given him
the fucking gun.Copy !req
857. He's coming
through the window.
He's getting in.Copy !req
858. Gimme the matches.Copy !req
859. Downstairs.Copy !req
860. He's in.Copy !req
861. He's sharpening
a fucking knife.Copy !req
862. I think we'll
have to tackle him.Copy !req
863. Stay in bed and pretend
to be asleep.Copy !req
864. When he goes for you
I'll jump on his back.Copy !req
865. No, it'll be too late.
I'll be knifed
by then.Copy !req
866. We'll have to try
and make friends
with him.Copy !req
867. He's going
into your room.Copy !req
868. It's you he wants.Copy !req
869. Offer him yourself.Copy !req
870. We mean no harm.Copy !req
871. Oh, my boys,
my boys, forgive me.Copy !req
872. Monty. Monty.Copy !req
873. Monty, you terrible cunt!Copy !req
874. Forgive me. it was
inconsiderate of me
not to have telegrammed.Copy !req
875. What are you
doing, prowling around
in the fucking night?Copy !req
876. Well, I had a punctured tire.
I had to wait an aeon
for assistance.Copy !req
877. I'm sorry
if I frightened you.Copy !req
878. I should have knocked, but,
I'll, I'll sleep in the other
room, if I may.Copy !req
879. Anywhere you like.Copy !req
880. Eh, yes, well eh,
good night.Copy !req
881. Ah, good morning.
Sleep well?Copy !req
882. Hm.Copy !req
883. Uh, eh, I do apologize
for last night.Copy !req
884. It was perfectly
inconsiderate of me.Copy !req
885. It's all right.
You've been busy
in here.Copy !req
886. As a bee.Copy !req
887. How did you
repair the window?Copy !req
888. Oh, I didn't break it.
Merely forced it a little.Copy !req
889. Sorry if I frightened you,Copy !req
890. there was an empty
wine bottle on the ledge.Copy !req
891. Uh, tomatoes.Copy !req
892. Yes?Copy !req
893. Why don't you go
and wake him?Copy !req
894. Breakfast in 15 minutes.Copy !req
895. The old order changeth,Copy !req
896. yielding place to new.Copy !req
897. And God fulfills himself
in many ways.Copy !req
898. And soon,Copy !req
899. I suppose,Copy !req
900. I shall be swept away
by some vulgar little tumor.Copy !req
901. Oh, my boys, my boys,Copy !req
902. we're at the end of an age.Copy !req
903. We live in a land
of weather forecastsCopy !req
904. breakfasts that "set in."Copy !req
905. Shat on by Tories,
shovelled up
by Labour.Copy !req
906. And here we are.
We three.Copy !req
907. Perhaps the last
island of beautyCopy !req
908. in the world. Now,Copy !req
909. which of you is going
to be a splendid fellowCopy !req
910. and go down to the Rolls
for the rest of the things?Copy !req
911. I will!Copy !req
912. I'd better go.
I want to see about
digging the car out.Copy !req
913. But we have my car.Copy !req
914. Yes, but if it rains,
we're buggered.
I mean—Copy !req
915. Stranded!Copy !req
916. We'll leave
the car till later.
Leave this to me.Copy !req
917. I'm coming,
I fancy a walk.Copy !req
918. No, I hear you're
a wizard in the kitchenCopy !req
919. I shall need you
to work on the joint.Copy !req
920. Yeah, you're the cook.Copy !req
921. Uh, what on earth
are those?Copy !req
922. We forgot to bring
our Wellingtons.Copy !req
923. Oh, how dreadful. You've been
up here in this beastly mud
and oomska without them?Copy !req
924. This afternoon
I'm going to take
you both into PenrithCopy !req
925. and get you fittedCopy !req
926. with good quality
rubber boots.Copy !req
927. Garlic, rosemary
and salt.Copy !req
928. I brought two of these
in case you were good
in the kitchen.Copy !req
929. I'm not.Copy !req
930. Of course you
are. Cooking's one
of the natural instincts.Copy !req
931. Listen, Monty.
This is all very
kind of you, but—Copy !req
932. I think I ought to be
getting some work
done on the car.Copy !req
933. You haven't time.
Luncheon's at three.Copy !req
934. We have to leave by three.Copy !req
935. Leave?Copy !req
936. Oh, didn't he tell you?
We have to get back
to sign on.Copy !req
937. Sign on?
At a Labour Exchange?Copy !req
938. Yeah. It's sort
of fashionable, actually.Copy !req
939. All the actors do.
Even Redgrave.Copy !req
940. But surely you could forego
for just this one occasion?Copy !req
941. I've come a very long way
to see you both.Copy !req
942. Can't actually, I mean—Copy !req
943. I'd love to stay.
But he's more adamant
to get back than I am.Copy !req
944. Then we must choose
our momentCopy !req
945. and have a word
with him.Copy !req
946. I'm sure together
we could persuade him.Copy !req
947. There, now. Garlic,Copy !req
948. rosemary and salt.Copy !req
949. I can never touch meat
until it's cooked.Copy !req
950. As a youth, I used to weep
in butcher's shops.Copy !req
951. I can't find the rosemary.Copy !req
952. I can't find
the rosemary.Copy !req
953. I'm sure we can
find it together.Copy !req
954. Perhaps it's
in the other bag?Copy !req
955. Perhaps it is.
Shall we look?Copy !req
956. Sorry, sherry's
in there.Copy !req
957. What do you
mean, "sorry?"Copy !req
958. What's going on?
What's he doing?Copy !req
959. We can't stay.
he won't leave
me alone.Copy !req
960. I'm afraid we must
drink from these.Copy !req
961. I trust their shapes
will not offend
your palates.Copy !req
962. Chin chin.Copy !req
963. To a delightful
weekend in the country.Copy !req
964. I do think
you could have shaved.Copy !req
965. What on earth will people
think of me turning up
with you two?Copy !req
966. You look like
a pair of farm-hands.Copy !req
967. This is most embarrassing.Copy !req
968. Get away
from the car.Copy !req
969. Buy the Wellingtons.Copy !req
970. I'm going to go
and buy some razors
and shaving soap.Copy !req
971. I'll see you over there
in half an hour.Copy !req
972. Pair of blues.Copy !req
973. One each.Copy !req
974. I think a drink,
don't you?Copy !req
975. What about
the Wellingtons?Copy !req
976. Oh, bullocks
to the Wellingtons.Copy !req
977. We'll tell him they had
a farmer's conference
and had a run on them.Copy !req
978. Okay. Yeah.
Phone me, Bye.Copy !req
979. Hasn't heard a thing.
Apparently, they're
still seeing people.Copy !req
980. You don't wanna go
to Manchester anyway.Copy !req
981. Play a bloody soldier?Copy !req
982. I dammed well do.
It's a bloody good
little theater.Copy !req
983. That's not much
of a part, though.Copy !req
984. It's better
than nothing.Copy !req
985. They'd make you
cut your hair off.Copy !req
986. So what?
You'd lose a leg.Copy !req
987. Time, gents, please.Copy !req
988. We're gonna have
to work quickly.Copy !req
989. A pair of quadruple
whiskeys and another
pair of pints, please.Copy !req
990. Where is he?
I'm utterly arseholed.Copy !req
991. We're early.Copy !req
992. We wanna get
in there, don't we?Copy !req
993. Eat some cake,
soak up the booze.Copy !req
994. All right here?Copy !req
995. What do you want?Copy !req
996. Cake. All
right here?Copy !req
997. No, we're closing
in a minute.Copy !req
998. We're leaving
in a minute.Copy !req
999. We want
cake and tea.Copy !req
1000. (man)
Didn't you hear?
She said she's closed.Copy !req
1001. What do you
want in here?Copy !req
1002. Cake. What's it got
to do with you?Copy !req
1003. I happen to be
the proprietor.
Now, would you leave?Copy !req
1004. Ah, I'm glad
you're the proprietor.Copy !req
1005. I was gonna have to have
a word with you anyway.Copy !req
1006. We're working
on a film up here.Copy !req
1007. Locations, see.Copy !req
1008. We might wanna
do a film in here.Copy !req
1009. You're drunk.Copy !req
1010. Just bring out
the cakes.Copy !req
1011. Cake and fine wine.Copy !req
1012. If you don't leave,
we'll call the police.Copy !req
1013. Balls! We want
the finest wines
available to humanity.Copy !req
1014. We want them here,
and we want them now!Copy !req
1015. (man)
Miss Blenehassitt,
telephone the police.Copy !req
1016. All right.
M iss BIenehassitt,Copy !req
1017. I'm warning you.
If you do, you're fired.Copy !req
1018. We're multimillionaires.Copy !req
1019. We shall buy
this place and fire
you immediately.Copy !req
1020. Yes, we'll
buy this place.Copy !req
1021. And we'll install
a fucking juke box
in hereCopy !req
1022. to liven all you
stiffs up a bit.Copy !req
1023. The police,
M iss BIenehassitt.Copy !req
1024. Just say there are
a couple of drunks
in the Penrith Tea RoomsCopy !req
1025. and we want
them removed.Copy !req
1026. We are not drunks.
We are multimillionaires.Copy !req
1027. Hurry up, Mabs.
We'll keep them
here until they arrive.Copy !req
1028. You won't keep
us anywhere.Copy !req
1029. We'll buy this place
and have it knocked down.Copy !req
1030. All right.
It's all right.Copy !req
1031. Police, please.Copy !req
1032. Our car's arrived.Copy !req
1033. We'll be back.Copy !req
1034. We're coming
back in here.Copy !req
1035. Where is he?Copy !req
1036. He's sulking
up the hill.Copy !req
1037. He says he
won't come for lunch
without and apology.Copy !req
1038. Suits me.
He can eat
his fucking radishes.Copy !req
1039. It's all your fault.Copy !req
1040. You lead him astray.Copy !req
1041. I beg your pardon, Monty?Copy !req
1042. Don't tell me you're not
aware of it. I know what
you're up to and so do you.Copy !req
1043. Sherry?Copy !req
1044. Sherry? Oh, dear,
no, no.Copy !req
1045. I'd be sucked
into his trap.Copy !req
1046. One of us
has got to stay on guard.Copy !req
1047. He's so mauve.
We don't know
what he's planning.Copy !req
1048. I'm preparing
myself to forgive you.Copy !req
1049. I think you've been
punished enough.Copy !req
1050. I think we'd
better release
you from the legumesCopy !req
1051. and transfer your
talents to the meat.Copy !req
1052. You shouldn't treat
each other so badly.Copy !req
1053. This boy's been out there
frozen to the marrow,Copy !req
1054. and you just sit
in here, drinking.Copy !req
1055. Now come
along, he's going
to revitalize himselfCopy !req
1056. and you're going
to finish the vegetables.Copy !req
1057. I don't know
how to do them.Copy !req
1058. Of course you don't.
You're incapableCopy !req
1059. of indulging
in anything but
pleasure, am I not right?Copy !req
1060. You don't deserve
such loyalty.Copy !req
1061. Now come along.
I'm going to teach you
how to peel a potato.Copy !req
1062. Isn't it stimulating,
getting back to a basic
sort of life for a while?Copy !req
1063. Yes.Copy !req
1064. Surrounded by trees
and nature,Copy !req
1065. one feels a glorious
stirring of the senses.Copy !req
1066. A rejection
of poisonous inhibitionCopy !req
1067. and a fecund
motion of the soul.Copy !req
1068. Except of course
the problems tend to take
the edge off the pleasure.Copy !req
1069. I mean, with no
proper facilities.Copy !req
1070. All the glorious
trials of youth,
dear boy.Copy !req
1071. When I was a lad,
I'd rocket off on my
tandem with WrigglesworthCopy !req
1072. and we'd just
ride and ride.Copy !req
1073. And at night
we'd find some
barn and fall asleepCopy !req
1074. with the perfumes
of nature sighing
on our skin.Copy !req
1075. Would it be in bad
form to plagiarize
a toast?Copy !req
1076. It depends entirely
on the quality
of the wine.Copy !req
1077. I n this instance,
it most certainly
would not.Copy !req
1078. I n that case,
to a delightful
weekend in the country.Copy !req
1079. Oh, splendid.Copy !req
1080. We expected
a volley of argument
concerning M r. Redgrave.Copy !req
1081. You're forgetting
about Jake.Copy !req
1082. Not another word.
Not another word.
Jake can wait too.Copy !req
1083. Jake isn't a friend.Copy !req
1084. I hoped to avoid
telling you thisCopy !req
1085. but there's a psychotic
on the prowl outside
this house.Copy !req
1086. Ask him if I exaggerate.Copy !req
1087. He's threatened us
and he's dangerous.Copy !req
1088. Is this true?Copy !req
1089. Well, there's this local
type hanging about.Copy !req
1090. A poacher. Got into a tiff
and he threatened me
with a dead fish.Copy !req
1091. Yes, it was rather
amusing, actually,Copy !req
1092. when you came in
we thought it was him.Copy !req
1093. And we thought you,
cleaning your boots,Copy !req
1094. was him,
sharpening his knife.Copy !req
1095. Oh, how delicious.Copy !req
1096. More meat?Copy !req
1097. No, thank you.
I'm going for a walk.Copy !req
1098. Oh, wait for us
to finish, dear boy,
and we'll all go.Copy !req
1099. Listen, I know
what you're thinking,
but I had no alternative.Copy !req
1100. The old bugger's
come a long wayCopy !req
1101. I didn't want
to put the wind up him.Copy !req
1102. Your sensitivity
overwhelms me.Copy !req
1103. If you think you're gonna
have a weekend's indulgence
up here at his expenseCopy !req
1104. which means
at my expense,Copy !req
1105. You've got another
thing coming.Copy !req
1106. We'll leave first thing
tomorrow morning.Copy !req
1107. What about tonight?Copy !req
1108. He won't try anything.Copy !req
1109. Of course he is!
He means business.Copy !req
1110. He sent
me out to tell you
that the coffee's ready.Copy !req
1111. I couldn't drink
it. I have a cramp
in the mouth from grinning.Copy !req
1112. Well, stop smiling at him.Copy !req
1113. I can't help it.
I'm so uptight with him
I can't stop myself.Copy !req
1114. Laisse-moi respirer.Copy !req
1115. Longtemps, longtemps
I'odeur de tes cheveux.Copy !req
1116. Ah, Baudelaire.Copy !req
1117. Brings back such
memories of Oxford.Copy !req
1118. Oh, Oxford.Copy !req
1119. in a punt with a chap
called NormanCopy !req
1120. who had red hair
and a book of poetryCopy !req
1121. stained with the butter
drips from crumpets.Copy !req
1122. I often wonder
where Norman is now.Copy !req
1123. Probably wintering
with his mother in Guildford.Copy !req
1124. A cat in the rain.Copy !req
1125. Vim under the sink.
And both bars on.Copy !req
1126. But old, now. Old.Copy !req
1127. There can be no true
beauty without decay.Copy !req
1128. A requiem for England.Copy !req
1129. How right you are.
How right you are.Copy !req
1130. We live in a kingdom
of rains,Copy !req
1131. where royalty
comes in gangs.Copy !req
1132. Come on, lads, let's
get home. The sky's
beginning to bruise.Copy !req
1133. Night must fall,
and we shall be
forced to camp.Copy !req
1134. He's having my room.
That's the condition.Copy !req
1135. I want the room
with the lock.
Agree to that, I'm off.Copy !req
1136. All right.
All right.Copy !req
1137. Oh, good ol' Jake, eh?
I told you.Copy !req
1138. He's backCopy !req
1139. and that's
precisely the reason
I'm off to London.Copy !req
1140. Let's all have a good
laugh, eh, Withnail?Copy !req
1141. Good old Jake, eh,
he's back!Copy !req
1142. He's going away.
He's leaving.Copy !req
1143. Come on, let's pack up.
We'll get out of here
before it gets dark.Copy !req
1144. "Here hare here."Copy !req
1145. Here hare here.Copy !req
1146. Good old Jake.Copy !req
1147. Ace best.
Ace best.Copy !req
1148. Two. And it's over to you.Copy !req
1149. Your two and up two.Copy !req
1150. So that's four.Copy !req
1151. That's four.Copy !req
1152. Four.Copy !req
1153. Ace will pay
for the raiseCopy !req
1154. and see you two.Copy !req
1155. Now the last card.Copy !req
1156. Nonne sdus cedetur.Copy !req
1157. Reginae servandae defit.Copy !req
1158. And, oh!Copy !req
1159. And there she is!Copy !req
1160. Well, it's the two
queens to bet.Copy !req
1161. Another hand?Copy !req
1162. I think we'd better
get him to bed.Copy !req
1163. No, no.
He's down here.Copy !req
1164. You're in my
room, I'm in his room
and he's down here.Copy !req
1165. No, I wouldn't dream
of depriving the dear
fellow of his bedCopy !req
1166. especially in that condition.Copy !req
1167. But it's agreed.
It's what he wants.Copy !req
1168. No, I don't.
I want to get to bed.Copy !req
1169. All right, then, lovey.
Let's get you to bed.Copy !req
1170. Early night'II
do us both good.Copy !req
1171. Night night
then, Monty.Copy !req
1172. I wanna be alone.Copy !req
1173. I wanna be alone.Copy !req
1174. I think he'd better
sleep alone tonight.Copy !req
1175. He doesn't want
to sleep with you.Copy !req
1176. Well, you're in there.Copy !req
1177. And I'll take these
and I'll have the couch.Copy !req
1178. I'll say goodnight,
then, Monty.Copy !req
1179. You already have.Copy !req
1180. Twice.Copy !req
1181. What is it, Monty?
I'm terribly tired.
I need to go to sleep.Copy !req
1182. But not
that tired, eh?Copy !req
1183. Are you a sponge
or a stone?Copy !req
1184. What do you mean?Copy !req
1185. Do you like to experience
all facets of lifeCopy !req
1186. or do you shut yourself
off from new experience?Copy !req
1187. I voted Conservative.Copy !req
1188. Are you faithful?Copy !req
1189. To whom?Copy !req
1190. Faithfulness isn't selective.Copy !req
1191. I agree. It's a question
of selecting to whom
one will be faithful.Copy !req
1192. Have you selected it?Copy !req
1193. I'm terribly tired.Copy !req
1194. I've been watching
you all evening.Copy !req
1195. You've been
avoiding my eyes,
haven't you?Copy !req
1196. Your eyes?Copy !req
1197. At luncheon
you couldn't tear
your gaze from mine,Copy !req
1198. this evening you
barely looked at me.Copy !req
1199. What did he say to you?Copy !req
1200. Nothing.Copy !req
1201. You can tell me.Copy !req
1202. I assure you, nothing.
I'm terribly tired.Copy !req
1203. I need to go to bed.Copy !req
1204. Yes, yes. You must.
Mustn't you?Copy !req
1205. Off you go then.
I'll sleep here.Copy !req
1206. It won't be the first time
I've been left with the couch.Copy !req
1207. Boy.Copy !req
1208. Boy,Copy !req
1209. I know you're
not asleep, boy.Copy !req
1210. But he is.Copy !req
1211. I've been to his room.Copy !req
1212. He won't hear a thing.Copy !req
1213. I know you're
not asleep, boy.Copy !req
1214. No, I'm not.Copy !req
1215. Why is it, Monty?
What do you want?Copy !req
1216. I had to come.
I tried not to.Copy !req
1217. Oh, how I tried not to.Copy !req
1218. Listen, there's something
I have to explain to you.Copy !req
1219. Don't explain.
He's told me everything.Copy !req
1220. He told me
when you came to Chelsea.Copy !req
1221. What did he tell you?Copy !req
1222. He told me about your arrest
in the Tottenham Court Road.Copy !req
1223. He told me
about your problems.Copy !req
1224. How you feel.
Your desires.Copy !req
1225. What problems?Copy !req
1226. You are a "toilet trader."Copy !req
1227. He told you that?Copy !req
1228. You mustn't blame him.
You mustn't blame yourself.Copy !req
1229. I know how you feel
and how difficult it is.Copy !req
1230. You mustn't hold back
and let it ruin your youthCopy !req
1231. as I nearly did over Eric.Copy !req
1232. It's like a tide,
give in to it, boy.Copy !req
1233. Go with it.
It's society's
crime, not ours.Copy !req
1234. I'm not homosexual.Copy !req
1235. Yes, you are.
Of course you are.Copy !req
1236. You're simply
blackmailing your emotionsCopy !req
1237. to avoid the realities
of your relationship.Copy !req
1238. What?Copy !req
1239. You love him.Copy !req
1240. And it's not his fault
he can't love you any
more than it's mineCopy !req
1241. that I adore you.Copy !req
1242. Couldn't we allow
ourselves this moment
of indiscretion?Copy !req
1243. No!Copy !req
1244. He need never know.Copy !req
1245. I don't care
what he knows.
You've gotta go.Copy !req
1246. If you want to humiliate
me, humiliate me.
I adore you.Copy !req
1247. Tell him if you must.
I no longer care.Copy !req
1248. I mean to have you
even if it must
mean burglary.Copy !req
1249. It's not me, it's him.Copy !req
1250. He lied to you.
We're an affair.Copy !req
1251. We have been for years.Copy !req
1252. But he doesn't want
you or anybody to know.Copy !req
1253. We're both in it.
We're obsessed
with each other.Copy !req
1254. But he's ashamed,
he refuses to come out
and accept what he is.Copy !req
1255. That's why
he's rejecting
me while you're here.Copy !req
1256. On my life, Monty,
this is the first nightCopy !req
1257. we haven't slept
together for six years.Copy !req
1258. I can't cheat on him.
It would kill him.Copy !req
1259. He told me you
were in purgatory
because he couldn't love you.Copy !req
1260. He's lying, lying!Copy !req
1261. Oh, my dear boy.Copy !req
1262. Had I known that I'd
have never attempted
to come between you.Copy !req
1263. I know that.
I respect you
for your sensitivity.Copy !req
1264. I thank you for it.
But you must leave.Copy !req
1265. Yes.Copy !req
1266. You'd better go to him.Copy !req
1267. I intend to.
This instant.Copy !req
1268. Withnail, you bastard,
wake up.Copy !req
1269. Wake up, you bastard.
Or I'll burn this bastard
bed down.Copy !req
1270. I deny all accusations.
What do you want?Copy !req
1271. I've just narrowly avoided
having a buggering.Copy !req
1272. I've come
with the intentionCopy !req
1273. of wishing one on you.
Having said that,Copy !req
1274. I now intend
to leave for London.Copy !req
1275. Hold on. Don't let your
imagination run away
with you.Copy !req
1276. I magination! I just finished
fighting a naked man.Copy !req
1277. How dare you tell him
I'm a "toilet trader?"Copy !req
1278. It was a tactical necessity.
If I hadn't told him
you were activeCopy !req
1279. we would have never
got the cottage.Copy !req
1280. I'd never have wanted it.
Not with him in it.Copy !req
1281. I never thought
he'd come all this way.Copy !req
1282. Monty? He'd go
to New York.Copy !req
1283. A calculated risk.Copy !req
1284. What "tactical necessity"
and "calculated risk"?Copy !req
1285. This is me,
naked, in a corner.Copy !req
1286. And how dare you
tell him I love you?Copy !req
1287. And how dare you tell
him you rejected me?Copy !req
1288. How dare you tell him that?Copy !req
1289. Sorry about that.
I got a bit carried awayCopy !req
1290. I sort of said it
without thinking.Copy !req
1291. Well, let me tell
you something.Copy !req
1292. If he comes into my
room again, it's murder.Copy !req
1293. And you will be held
responsible in law.Copy !req
1294. "Perhaps it is appropriate
justice for the eavesdropperCopy !req
1295. "that he should leave
as his trade determines,Copy !req
1296. "in secrecy,Copy !req
1297. "and in the dead
of the night.Copy !req
1298. "I do sincerely
hope that you will
find the happinessCopy !req
1299. "which alas has always
been denied to me.Copy !req
1300. "I am, Yours
ever faithfully,Copy !req
1301. Montague H. Withnail."Copy !req
1302. Poor old bastard.Copy !req
1303. I would say,Copy !req
1304. that that represents
a degree of hypocrisyCopy !req
1305. I have hitherto suspected
in you, but not noticed due
to highly evasive skills.Copy !req
1306. Christ, Withnail.Copy !req
1307. You'll suffer for this.
What you've done will
have to be paid for.Copy !req
1308. I'll say one thing
for Monty,Copy !req
1309. he keeps
a sensational cellar.Copy !req
1310. Who's there?Copy !req
1311. (man)
Telegram.Copy !req
1312. Well done.Copy !req
1313. Well, it doesn't mean
to say I've got it.Copy !req
1314. Probably just want
to see me again.Copy !req
1315. Well, that settles it then.
We'll leave immediately.Copy !req
1316. What?Copy !req
1317. Get your kit together.
We're leaving in half
an hour.Copy !req
1318. Half an hour?
Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
1319. I need at least
an hour for lunch.Copy !req
1320. You've got a truck
coming up.Copy !req
1321. About 200 yards.Copy !req
1322. Followed by a left
slow-hander.Copy !req
1323. Oh, this is insanity,
I' can't keep this up.Copy !req
1324. Change lane.
Bear right.
Bear right.Copy !req
1325. What lane? I've not
seen a fucking lane.Copy !req
1326. Right, that's it.Copy !req
1327. Next garage I've
got to do something
about that wiper.Copy !req
1328. And I've got
to get some sleep.Copy !req
1329. What's going on?Copy !req
1330. I'm making time.Copy !req
1331. Are you out of your mind?Copy !req
1332. Pull over.
You haven't got a license.Copy !req
1333. No. I'm making time.Copy !req
1334. Ugh.Copy !req
1335. Where are we?Copy !req
1336. We're approaching London.Copy !req
1337. Here comes another fucker.Copy !req
1338. Oh, no.Copy !req
1339. It's perfectly all right.
Leave them to me.Copy !req
1340. You're full of scotch,
you silly tool.Copy !req
1341. A bit early in the morning
for festivities, isn't it?Copy !req
1342. These aren't mine.
They belong to him.Copy !req
1343. You're drunk.Copy !req
1344. I assure you
I'm not, officer.Copy !req
1345. Honestly. I've only
had a few ales.Copy !req
1346. Out of the car.Copy !req
1347. Please?Copy !req
1348. Sir?Copy !req
1349. I want you
to take one deep
breath and fill this bag.Copy !req
1350. Are you refusing
to fill this bag?Copy !req
1351. I most certainly am.Copy !req
1352. I'm placing you
under arrest.Copy !req
1353. Don't be ridiculous.
I haven't done anything.Copy !req
1354. Look here,
my cousin's a Q.C.Copy !req
1355. Get in the back
of the van!Copy !req
1356. Where's our checks?Copy !req
1357. We didn't sign on.Copy !req
1358. That wouldn't
make any difference
to last week's payment.Copy !req
1359. What are you doing
in my bed?Copy !req
1360. I've been asleep.Copy !req
1361. Who is the huge spade
in the bath?Copy !req
1362. Presuming Ed.Copy !req
1363. Now you got
10 minutes.Copy !req
1364. I want you out,
'cause I wanna get—Copy !req
1365. 10 minutes and you'd
better be on your feet.Copy !req
1366. How did you get in?Copy !req
1367. I ngenuity, man.
Come up the drainpipe.Copy !req
1368. Would you like a smoke?Copy !req
1369. Yes.Copy !req
1370. No, thanks,
I've got a call to make.Copy !req
1371. What are you gonna
do with those?Copy !req
1372. The joint I'm
about to roll
requires a craftsman.Copy !req
1373. It can utilise
up to 12 skins.Copy !req
1374. It's called
"Camberwell Carrot."Copy !req
1375. It's impossible
to use 12 papers
in one joint.Copy !req
1376. It's impossible to make
a "Camberwell Carrot"
with anything less.Copy !req
1377. Who says it's
a "Camberwell Carrot?"Copy !req
1378. I do. I invented it
in CamberwellCopy !req
1379. and it looks
like a carrot.Copy !req
1380. Do you
realise this gaff's
over run with rodents?Copy !req
1381. When I came in
I saw one the size
of a fucking dog.Copy !req
1382. It is a dog, belongs
to the fellow downstairs.Copy !req
1383. Does his dog
get in the oven?Copy !req
1384. No, his dog doesn't
come up here.Copy !req
1385. Then it was a rodent.
Opened the oven doorCopy !req
1386. and it was in there
looking at me.Copy !req
1387. Quite freaked me
at the time.Copy !req
1388. I was gonna cook onions.Copy !req
1389. Are you going to bed now?Copy !req
1390. No. Phone.Copy !req
1391. Who's he got
to telephone?Copy !req
1392. "Squat Betty."Copy !req
1393. His agent. But he's wasting
his time because
he won't be in.Copy !req
1394. This'll tend
to make you very high.Copy !req
1395. This grass
is the most powerful
in the Western Hemisphere.Copy !req
1396. I have it specially
flown in from my
man in Mexico.Copy !req
1397. He's an expert.Copy !req
1398. His name is Juan.Copy !req
1399. This grass grows
at exactly 2,000
feet above sea level.Copy !req
1400. Did you get
the part, man?Copy !req
1401. I got a different one.Copy !req
1402. They want me
to play the lead.Copy !req
1403. Congratulations.Copy !req
1404. Where exactly
have you two been?Copy !req
1405. Holiday in the countryside.Copy !req
1406. That's a very good idea.Copy !req
1407. London is a country
coming down from its trip.Copy !req
1408. We are 91 days
from the end of this decadeCopy !req
1409. and there's gonna be
a lot of refugees.Copy !req
1410. They'll be going
round this town shouting
"Bring out your dead."Copy !req
1411. There was a geezer
round here the other
day looking for you.Copy !req
1412. What geezer?Copy !req
1413. Some bald geezer.Copy !req
1414. Reckons you owe
him 266 quid back rent.Copy !req
1415. I told him there's no
question of paying rent on
a property cut with rodents.Copy !req
1416. He takes exception to thisCopy !req
1417. and starts coming on
really bald with me.Copy !req
1418. What do you
mean, "ratty?"Copy !req
1419. I told him
to piss off.Copy !req
1420. Bloody fool. He'll have
us up in court again.Copy !req
1421. No he won't.
It ain't legal.Copy !req
1422. I assume we can
quote you, can we?Copy !req
1423. Law rather appeals
to me, actually.Copy !req
1424. Just high.Copy !req
1425. Stop laughing,
this is serious.Copy !req
1426. No it ain't.
I looked into it.
Studied the papers.Copy !req
1427. What papers?Copy !req
1428. Legal papers.Copy !req
1429. What papers?Copy !req
1430. He's got our checks.Copy !req
1431. What are you
doing with these?Copy !req
1432. I was gonna cash
them in for you.Copy !req
1433. Harry Rama.
Harry Rama.Copy !req
1434. For Christ's sake, Withnail.
Stop laughing.Copy !req
1435. This is a notice of eviction.Copy !req
1436. Will you stop laughing?
They want to turn us out.Copy !req
1437. Harry Rama.Copy !req
1438. For God's— Will you shut up?
You're giving me the fear.Copy !req
1439. It will pass. Be seated.Copy !req
1440. Aren't you getting
absurdly high?Copy !req
1441. Precisely the reason
I'm smoking it.Copy !req
1442. Couldn't. I'm spaced.Copy !req
1443. Not as spaced
as your rodents.Copy !req
1444. Don't talk about them.Copy !req
1445. Well, I imagine they're
talking to each other.Copy !req
1446. What do you mean?Copy !req
1447. I've dealt with them.Copy !req
1448. Dealt with them?
What the fuck you mean?Copy !req
1449. Dosed them. I expect
they're dead down the drain.Copy !req
1450. Dead down the drain?Copy !req
1451. What have you done to them?Copy !req
1452. Given them all
drugged onions.Copy !req
1453. Christ! Why have you
drugged their onions?Copy !req
1454. Sit down, man. Take control.Copy !req
1455. Gimme a Valium.
I'm getting the fear.Copy !req
1456. You have done
something to your brain.Copy !req
1457. You have made it hot.Copy !req
1458. If I lay 10 mills
of DiazepamCopy !req
1459. you will do something
else to your brain.Copy !req
1460. You will make it low.
Why trust one drug
and not the other?Copy !req
1461. That's politics, isn't it?Copy !req
1462. I'm gonna eat some sugar.Copy !req
1463. I recommend you smoke
some more grass.Copy !req
1464. No way. No fucking way.Copy !req
1465. That is an unfortunate
political decision,Copy !req
1466. reflecting these times.Copy !req
1467. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1468. Politics, man.
If you're hanging
on to a rising balloonCopy !req
1469. you're presented
with a difficult decision.Copy !req
1470. Let go
before it's too late?Copy !req
1471. Or hang on
and keep getting higher?Copy !req
1472. Posing the question,
how long can you keep
a grip on the rope?Copy !req
1473. They're selling hippie
wigs in Woolworth's, man.Copy !req
1474. The greatest decade
in the history of mankind
is over.Copy !req
1475. And as Presuming Ed
here has so consistently
pointed out,Copy !req
1476. we have failed
to paint it black.Copy !req
1477. My Dad will pick up
the boxes in the week,Copy !req
1478. and he gonna do
something about the car.Copy !req
1479. Well, I'm off now then.Copy !req
1480. Already? I've got us
a bottle open.Copy !req
1481. Confiscated it
from Monty's supplies.Copy !req
1482. '53 Margaux,
best of the century.Copy !req
1483. I'm sure
he wouldn't resent
us a parting drink.Copy !req
1484. I can't. I gotta
walk to the station.
I'll be late.Copy !req
1485. There's always
time for a drink.Copy !req
1486. I don't have the time.Copy !req
1487. All right. I'll walk
with you through the park.Copy !req
1488. We can drink it
on the way.Copy !req
1489. No, no more.Copy !req
1490. Listen, Withnail.
It's a stinker, why
don't you go back?Copy !req
1491. Because I wanna
walk with you
to the station.Copy !req
1492. Well, don't.
Please don't.Copy !req
1493. I really don't
want you to.Copy !req
1494. I shall miss you, Withnail.Copy !req
1495. I shall miss you, too.Copy !req
1496. Chin chin.Copy !req
1497. "I have of late
but wherefore I know notCopy !req
1498. "lost all my mirthCopy !req
1499. "and indeed
it goes so heavily
with my dispositionCopy !req
1500. "that this goodly
frame the earthCopy !req
1501. "seems to me
a sterile promontory.Copy !req
1502. "This most excellent
canopy the airCopy !req
1503. "look you, this brave
o'er hanging firmamentCopy !req
1504. "this majestical roof
fretted with golden fireCopy !req
1505. "why it appeareth
nothing to meCopy !req
1506. "but a foul and persistent
congregation of vapours.Copy !req
1507. "What a piece
of work is a man
how noble in reasonCopy !req
1508. "how infinite in faculties,Copy !req
1509. "how like an angel
in apprehension,Copy !req
1510. "how like a God,Copy !req
1511. "the beauty of the world,Copy !req
1512. "the paragon of animalsCopy !req
1513. "and yet to me,Copy !req
1514. "what is this
quintessence of dust?Copy !req
1515. "Man delights not meCopy !req
1516. "no, nor women neither.Copy !req
1517. Nor women neither."Copy !req
1518. Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV PlayerCopy !req