1. I'm going for a cup of tea.
Do you want one?
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2. - Do you want a cup of tea, Withnail?
- No.
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3. 13 million Londoners
have to wake up to this.
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4. And murder and All-Bran and rape.
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5. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack
and I can't cope with Withnail.
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6. I must be out of my mind.
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7. I must go home at once
and discuss his problems in depth.
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8. I've some extremely
distressing news.
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9. I don't wanna hear it.
I don't wanna hear anything.
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10. Oh, God! It's a nightmare.
I tell you, it's a nightmare.
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11. We've just run out of wine.
What are we gonna do about it?
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12. I don't know. I don't know.
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13. Oh, God. I don't feel good.
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14. My thumbs have gone weird!
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15. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose.
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16. Oh, God. Oh!
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17. My heart's beating like a fucked clock.
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18. I feel dreadful. I feel really dreadful.
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19. So do I. So does everybody.
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20. Look at my tongue.
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21. It's wearing a yellow sock.
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22. Sit down, for Christ's sakes.
What's the matter with you?
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23. Eat some sugar.
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24. Listen to this. "Curse of the Supermen.
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25. "I took drugs to win medals,
says top athlete Jeff Wode."
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26. - Where's the coffee?
- "In a world exclusive interview,
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27. "33-year-old shot putter, Jeff Wode,
who weighs 317 pounds,
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28. "admitted taking massive doses
of anabolic steroids,
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29. "drugs banned in sport.
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30. "'He used to get in bad tempers
and act daft,' says his wife,
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31. "'He used to pick on me,
but now he's stopped.
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32. "'He's much better in our sex life
and in our general life."'
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33. Jesus Christ!
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34. This huge thatched head
with its ear lobes and cannonball
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35. is now considered sane.
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36. "Jeff Wode is feeling better,
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37. "and is now prepared
to step back into society
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38. "and start tossing his orb about."
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39. Look at him! Look at Jeff Wode.
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40. His head must weigh 50 pounds
on its own.
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41. Imagine the size of his balls.
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42. Imagine getting into a fight
with the fucker.
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43. Please, I don't feel good.
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44. That's what you'd say.
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45. But that wouldn't wash with Jeff. No.
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46. He'd like a bit of pleading.
Add spice to it.
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47. In fact, he'd probably tell you
what he was gonna do
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48. before he did it.
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49. "I'm gonna pull your head off."
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50. "No, please, don't pull my head off."
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51. "I'm gonna pull your head off,
because I don't like your head."
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52. Have you got soup?
Why didn't I get any soup?
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53. Coffee.
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54. Why don't you use a cup
like any other human being?
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55. Why don't you wash up occasionally
like any other human being?
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56. How dare you? How dare you?
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57. How dare you call me inhumane?
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58. I didn't call you inhumane.
You merely imagined it. Calm down.
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59. Right, you fucker.
I'm gonna do the washing up.
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60. No. No, you can't. It's impossible.
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61. I swear to you, I've looked into it.
Listen to me. Listen to me!
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62. There are things in there.
There's a teabag growing.
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63. You haven't slept in 60 hours,
you're in no state to tackle it.
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64. Wait till the morning.
We'll go in together.
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65. This is the morning. Stand aside.
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66. You don't understand. I think
there may be something living in there.
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67. I think there may be something alive.
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68. - What do you mean? A rat?
- It's possible. It's possible.
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69. Then the fucker will rue the day.
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70. Oh, Christ Almighty.
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71. Sinew in nicotine base.
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72. Keep back. Keep back.
The entire sink's gone rotten.
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73. I don't know what's in here.
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74. Ah! Ah!
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75. I told you. You've been bitten!
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76. Burnt! Burnt!
The fucking kettle's on fire!
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77. - There's something floating up.
- Fork it!
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78. No, no, no. I don't wanna touch it.
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79. You must. You must!
The poop will bore through the glaze.
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80. We'll never be able to use
the dinner service again.
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81. Here, get it with the pliers.
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82. No, no. No, no, no, gloves.
Get me the gloves.
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83. That's right. Put on the gloves.
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84. Don't attempt anything without the gloves.
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85. - Ugh.
- Ugh.
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86. What is it? What have you found?
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87. Matter.
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88. Matter? Where's it coming from?
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89. Don't... don't look.
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90. I'm dealing with it.
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91. I think we've been in here too long.
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92. I feel unusual.
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93. I think we should go outside.
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94. This is ridiculous.
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95. Look at me. I'm 30 in a month
and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe.
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96. It will get better. It has to.
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97. Easy for you to say, lovey.
You've had an audition.
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98. Why can't I have an audition?
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99. It's ridiculous. I've been to drama school.
I'm good-looking.
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100. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent
than half the rubbish that gets on television.
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101. Why can't I get on television?
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102. I don't know. It'll happen.
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103. Will it? That's what you say.
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104. The only programme I'm likely to get on
is the fucking news.
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105. I tell you, I can't take much more of this.
I'm gonna crack.
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106. - I'm in the same boat.
- Yeah, yeah.
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107. I feel as sick as a pike.
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108. I'm going to have to sit down.
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109. You know what we should do?
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110. I say, you know what we should do?
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111. How can I possibly know
what we should do?
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112. What should we do?
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113. Get out of it for a while,
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114. get into the countryside, rejuvenate.
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115. Rejuvenate. I'm in a park
and I'm practically dead.
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116. What good's the countryside?
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117. What time is it?
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118. It's eight.
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119. Four hours to opening time.
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120. God help us.
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121. Have we got any embrocation?
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122. - What for?
- To rub on us, you fool!
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123. We can cover ourselves in Deep Heat
and get up against the radiator.
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124. Keep ourselves alive till 12.
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125. Jesus, look at that.
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126. Apart from a raw potato,
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127. that's the only solid to have
passed my lips in the last 60 hours.
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128. I must be ill.
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129. "Even a stopped clock
gives the right time twice a day.
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130. "And for once, I am inclined
to believe that Withnail is right.
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131. "We are indeed drifting
into the arena of the unwell,
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132. "making an enemy of our own future.
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133. "What we need is harmony.
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134. "Fresh air, stuff like that."
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135. Wasn't much in the tube.
There's nothing left for you.
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136. Why don't you ask your father
for some money?
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137. If we had some money we could go away.
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138. Why don't you ask your father?
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139. How can it be so cold in here?
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140. It's like Greenland in here.
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141. We've got to get some booze.
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142. It's the only solution to this intense cold.
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143. Something's got to be done.
We can't go on like this!
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144. I'm a trained actor,
reduced to the status of a bum!
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145. I mean, look at us.
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146. Nothing that reasonable members
of society demand as their rights.
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147. No fridges, no televisions, no phones.
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148. Much more of this,
I'm going to apply for meals on wheels.
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149. - What happened to your cigar commercial?
- That's what I want to know.
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150. What happened to my cigar commercial?
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151. What happened to my agent?
Bastard must have died.
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152. September. It's a bad patch.
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153. Rubbish! I haven't seen Gielgud
down the Labour Exchange.
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154. Why doesn't he retire?
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155. Oh, look at this little bastard.
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156. "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director."
Of course he does!
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157. Probably on a tenner a day,
and I know what for.
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158. Two pound ten a tit and a fiver for his arse.
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159. - Have you been at the controls?
- What are you talking about?
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160. The thermostats.
What have you done to them?
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161. - I haven't touched them.
- Then why has my head gone numb?
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162. I must have some booze.
I demand to have some booze!
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163. - I wouldn't drink that if I was you.
- Why not? Why not?
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164. Because I don't advise it.
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165. Even the wankers on the site
wouldn't drink that.
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166. - That's worse than meths.
- Nonsense.
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167. This is a far superior drink to meths.
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168. The wankers don't drink it
because they can't afford it.
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169. Have we got any more?
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170. Liar. What's in your tool box?
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171. Don't. We have nothing. Sit down.
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172. Liar. You've got antifreeze.
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173. You bloody fool.
You should never mix your drinks.
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174. All right. This is the plan.
We'll get in there and get wrecked.
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175. Then we'll eat a pork pie and we'll
drop a couple of Surmontil 50s each.
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176. Means we'll miss out Monday,
but come up smiling Tuesday morning.
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177. - What's that appalling smell?
- Perfume on my boots.
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178. I had to scrub them with essence of petunia.
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179. Two large gins. Two pints of cider.
Ice in the cider.
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180. If my father was loaded,
I'd ask him for some money.
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181. If your father was my father,
you wouldn't get it.
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182. - Here you are, lads.
- Chin-chin.
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183. Ugh.
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184. What about what's his name?
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185. - What about him?
- Why don't you give him a call?
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186. - What for?
- Ask him about his house.
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187. You want me to call what's his name
and ask him about his house?
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188. Why not?
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189. All right. What's his number?
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190. I've no idea, I've never met him.
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191. Well, neither have I.
Who the fuck are you talking about?
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192. Your relative, with the house in the country.
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193. - Monty? Uncle Monty?
- That's him. That's the one.
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194. Get the Jag fixed up,
spend the week in the country.
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195. All right. Give us a tenner
and I'll give him a bell.
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196. Here, get a couple more in.
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197. I'm going for a slash.
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198. Ponce.
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199. I could hardly
piss straight with fear.
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200. Here was a man with three-quarters of an inch
of brain who'd taken a dislike to me.
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201. What have I done to offend him?
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202. I don't consciously offend big men like this.
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203. And this one has a definite
imbalance of hormone in him.
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204. Get any more masculine than him,
you'd have to live up a tree.
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205. "I fuck arses"? Who fucks arses?
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206. Maybe he fucks arses.
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207. Maybe he's written this
in some moment of drunken sincerity.
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208. I'm in considerable danger in here.
I must get out of here at once.
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209. Perfumed ponce!
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210. You'll be pleased to hear
Monty's invited us for drinks.
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211. Balls to Monty. We're getting out.
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212. Balls to Monty?
I've just spent an hour flattering the bugger.
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213. There's one over there that
doesn't like the perfume. A big one.
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214. Don't look, don't look.
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215. We're in danger.
We've got to get out.
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216. What are you talking about?
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217. I've been called a ponce.
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218. What fucker said that?
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219. I called him a ponce.
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220. And now I'm calling you one. Ponce!
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221. Would you like a drink?
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222. What's your name? MacFuck?
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223. I have a heart condition.
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224. I have a heart condition.
If you hit me, it's murder.
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225. I'll murder the pair of youse.
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226. My wife is having a baby.
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227. Listen, I don't know what
my f... acquaintance did to upset you,
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228. but it's nothing to do with me.
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229. I suggest you both go outside
and discuss it sensibly in the street.
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230. Aaah!
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231. Out of my way!
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232. Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights
without ever getting off the plane.
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233. Time change. You lose, you gain.
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234. Makes no difference,
so long as you keep taking the pills.
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235. But sooner or later, you've got to get out,
because it's crashing.
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236. And all at once, those frozen hours
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237. melt through the nervous system
and seep out the pores.
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238. Bastards.
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239. Just to suck some miserable cheap cigar,
and the bastards won't see me.
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240. - Why are we having lunch in here?
- It's dinner, and Danny's here.
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241. Danny? How did he get in?
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242. I let him in this morning.
He's lost one of his clogs.
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243. He's come in
because of this perpetual cold.
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244. I hope tobacco sales plummet.
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245. I got your saveloy.
Here. I don't want it.
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246. Then stick it in the soap tray
and save it for later.
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247. Don't vent spleen on me.
I'm in the same boat.
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248. Stop saying that!
You're not in the same boat.
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249. The only thing you're in
that I've been in is this fucking bath.
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250. Danny's here.
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251. Head hunter to his friends.
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252. Head hunter to everybody.
He doesn't have any friends.
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253. The only people he converses with
are his clients
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254. and, occasionally, the police.
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255. The purveyor of rare herbs
and proscribed chemicals is back.
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256. Will we never be set free?
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257. Danny.
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258. You're looking very beautiful, man.
Have you been away?
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259. St Peter preached the epistles
to the apostles looking like that.
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260. Have you got any food?
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261. Hm. As a matter of fact,
I've got a saveloy.
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262. How much is it?
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263. You can have it for nothing.
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264. I see you're wearing a suit.
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265. What's it got to do with you?
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266. No need to get uptight, man.
I was merely making an observation.
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267. I happened to be looking for a suit
for the Coalman two weeks ago.
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268. For reasons I can't really discuss with you,
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269. the Coalman had to go to Jamaica.
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270. Got busted coming back through Heathrow.
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271. Had a weight under his fez.
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272. We worked out it would be handy karma
for him to get hold of a suit,
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273. but he's a very low temperature spade,
the Coalman.
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274. Goes into court in his kaftan and a bell.
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275. This doesn't go down at all well.
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276. They can handle the kaftan.
They can't handle the bell.
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277. So there's this judge sitting there
in a cape like fucking Batman,
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278. with this really rather far out looking hat...
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279. - Wig.
- No, man.
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280. This was more like a long white hat.
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281. So he looks at the Coalman and he says,
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282. "What's all this? This is a court, man.
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283. "This ain't fancy dress."
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284. And the Coalman looks at him and says,
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285. "You think you look normal, Your Honour?"
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286. Cunt gives him two years.
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287. I'm afraid I can't offer
you gentlemen anything.
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288. That's all right, Danny.
We decided to lay off for a bit.
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289. That's what I thought.
Except for personal use, I concur with you.
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290. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of retiring
and going into business.
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291. - Doing what?
- The toy industry.
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292. - I thought you were in the bottle industry.
- No, man. That's a sideline.
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293. You can have that.
Instructions are included.
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294. Yeah, my partner's got a really good idea
for making dolls.
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295. His name's Presuming Ed.
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296. His sister gave him the idea.
She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself.
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297. - Really?
- Yeah.
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298. Then you gotta change its drawers for it.
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299. It's horrible, really,
but they like that, the little girls.
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300. So we're gonna make one
that shits itself as well.
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301. - Shits itself?
- He's an expert.
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302. He's building the prototype now.
Copy !req
303. Why is he behaving so uptightly?
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304. Because a gang of cheroot vendors
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305. considered a haircut beyond
the limit of my abilities.
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306. I don't advise a haircut, man.
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307. All hairdressers are
in the employment of the government.
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308. Hair are your aerials.
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309. They pick up signals from the cosmos
and transmit them directly into the brain.
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310. This is the reason
bald-headed men are uptight.
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311. What absolute twaddle.
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312. - Has he just been busted?
- No.
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313. Then why is he wearing that old suit?
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314. Old suit?
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315. This suit was cut
by Hawkes of Savile Row.
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316. Just because the best tailoring
you've ever seen
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317. is above your fucking appendix,
doesn't mean anything.
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318. Don't get uptight with me, man.
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319. Cos if you do, I'll have
to give you a dose of medicine.
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320. And if I spike you,
you'll know you've been spoken to.
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321. You wouldn't spike me. You're too mean.
Copy !req
322. Besides, there's nothing invented
I couldn't take.
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323. If I medicined you, you'd think
a brain tumour was a birthday present.
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324. I could take double anything you could.
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325. Very, very foolish words, man.
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326. He's right, Withnail.
Look at him. His mechanism's gone.
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327. He's had more drugs
than you've had hot dinners.
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328. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me.
Let him get his drugs out.
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329. This doll is extremely dangerous.
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330. It has voodoo qualities.
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331. Trade - Phenodihydrochloride benzorex.
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332. Street - the Embalmer.
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333. Balls. I'll swallow it and run a mile.
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334. Cool your boots, man.
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335. This pill's valued at two quid.
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336. - Two quid! You're out of your mind.
- That's sense, Withnail.
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337. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing
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338. and fuck off while you're doing it.
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339. No need to insult me, man.
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340. I was leaving anyway.
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341. Have either of you got shoes?
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342. Monty's car.
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343. Well, hello.
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344. Come in.
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345. Sit down, do.
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346. - Would you like a drink?
- Sherry.
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347. Sherry.
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348. - Sherry?
- Sherry.
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349. Sherry.
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350. Do you like vegetables?
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351. I've always been fond of root crops,
but I only started to grow last summer.
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352. I happen to think the cauliflower
more beautiful than the rose.
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353. Chin-chin.
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354. - Do you grow?
- Geraniums.
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355. Oh, you little traitors.
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356. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating
than the geranium.
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357. Mm. The carrot has mystery.
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358. Flowers are essentially tarts.
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359. - Prostitutes for the bees.
- Hm.
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360. There is, you will agree,
a certain je ne sais quoi,
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361. oh, so very special,
about a firm young carrot...
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362. Hm. Excuse me.
Copy !req
363. Do help yourselves to another drink.
Copy !req
364. What's all this? The man's mad!
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365. - Eccentric.
- Eccentric? He's insane.
Copy !req
366. Not only that, he's a raving homosexual.
Copy !req
367. You beastly little parasite!
How dare you?
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368. You little thug. How dare you?
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369. Ooh... Gah!
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370. Beastly, ungrateful little swine.
Copy !req
371. - Shall I get you a drink, Monty?
- Yes, yes! Yes, please, dear boy.
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372. You can prepare me
a small rhesus negative Bloody Mary.
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373. And you must tell me all the news.
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374. I haven't seen you since
you finished your last film.
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375. Rather busy, Uncle. TV and stuff.
Copy !req
376. My agent's attempting to edge me towards
the Royal Shakespeare Company again.
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377. - Oh, splendid.
- He's just had an audition for rep.
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378. Oh, splendid. So you're a thesbian, too?
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379. Monty used to act.
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380. Oh, I'd hardly say that.
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381. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth,
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382. but I never really had it in my blood.
Copy !req
383. And that's what's so essential, isn't it?
Theatrical zeal in the veins?
Copy !req
384. Alas, I have little more than vintage wine
and memories.
Copy !req
385. It is the most shattering experience
of a young man's life
Copy !req
386. when, one morning, he awakes
and, quite reasonably, says to himself,
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387. "I will never play the Dane."
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388. When that moment comes,
Copy !req
389. one's ambition ceases.
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390. Don't you agree?
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391. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle.
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392. And you'll be marvellous.
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393. Marvellous.
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394. "It's gone.
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395. "We do it wrong, being so majestical
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396. "To offer it to the show of violence..."
Copy !req
397. Let's go. He's a madman.
Copy !req
398. Any minute now, he's gonna rush out
and get into his tights.
Copy !req
399. - OK, OK. Give me a minute.
- The house or out.
Copy !req
400. Could I have a word with you, Monty?
Copy !req
401. Oh, forgive me, dear boy, forgive me.
Copy !req
402. I was allowing memory
to have the better of me.
Copy !req
403. - Shall I get you a top-up, Monty?
- Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
404. Indeed, I remember my first agent.
Copy !req
405. Raymond Duck.
Copy !req
406. He was a dreadful little Israelite.
Copy !req
407. Four floors up on the Charing Cross Road,
Copy !req
408. and never a job at the top of them.
Copy !req
409. I'm told you're a writer, too.
Copy !req
410. Do you write poems?
Copy !req
411. No, I wish I could. It's just thoughts, really.
Copy !req
412. - Are you published?
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
413. Where did you school?
Copy !req
414. He went to the other place, Monty.
Copy !req
415. Oh, he went to Eton.
Copy !req
416. Get that damned little swine out of here.
Copy !req
417. It's trying to get itself in with you.
It's trying for even more advantage.
Copy !req
418. It's obsessed with its gut.
It's like a bloody rugby ball now.
Copy !req
419. - It will die. It will die!
- Monty, Monty.
Copy !req
420. No, no, no, dear boy.
You must leave. You must leave.
Copy !req
421. Yet again, that oaf has destroyed my day.
Copy !req
422. Listen, Monty. Could I just have
a quick word with you in private?
Copy !req
423. Oh... very well.
Copy !req
424. - Good night, my dears.
- Good night, Monty.
Copy !req
425. What all this going off in private business?
Why did you tell him I went to Eton?
Copy !req
426. Because it wouldn't have helped if I hadn't.
Copy !req
427. I was trying to establish you
in some sort of context he'd understand.
Copy !req
428. What do you mean by that?
Copy !req
429. I mean, free to those that can afford it,
and very expensive to those that can't.
Copy !req
430. - Up yours, Granddad!
- Scrubbers!
Copy !req
431. - Scrubbers!
- Shut up!
Copy !req
432. Little tarts. They love it.
Copy !req
433. Listen, I'm trying to drive this thing
as quietly as possible.
Copy !req
434. If you don't shut up,
we'll get stopped by the police.
Copy !req
435. Give me the bottle.
Copy !req
436. Look at that! Look at that!
"Accident black spot".
Copy !req
437. These aren't accidents, they're throwing
themselves into the road gladly!
Copy !req
438. Throwing themselves into this road
to escape all this hideousness.
Copy !req
439. Throw yourself into the road, darling.
You haven't got a chance.
Copy !req
440. At some point or another
I want to stop and get hold of a child.
Copy !req
441. What do you want a child for?
Copy !req
442. To tutor it
in the ways of righteousness,
Copy !req
443. and procure some uncontaminated urine.
Copy !req
444. This is a device enabling the drunken driver
to operate in absolute safety.
Copy !req
445. You fill this with piss,
take this pipe down the trouser,
Copy !req
446. and sellotape this valve
to the end of the old chap.
Copy !req
447. Then you get horribly drunk
and they can't fucking touch you.
Copy !req
448. According to these instructions,
you refuse everything but a urine sample.
Copy !req
449. You undo your valve,
Copy !req
450. and give them a dose
of unadulterated child's piss.
Copy !req
451. And they have to give you your keys back.
Copy !req
452. Danny's a genius.
Copy !req
453. I'm gonna have a doze.
Copy !req
454. - Are we there?
- No, we're not, we're here.
Copy !req
455. And we're in the middle of a fucking gale.
Copy !req
456. You'll have to keep a lookout your side.
If you see anything, tell me.
Copy !req
457. And get hold of that map.
Copy !req
458. - Where's the whisky?
- What for?
Copy !req
459. I got a bastard behind the eyes.
Copy !req
460. I can't take aspirins without a drink.
Copy !req
461. - Where's the aspirins?
- Probably in the bathroom.
Copy !req
462. You mean we've come out here in the middle
of fucking nowhere without aspirins?
Copy !req
463. - Where are we?
- How should I know where we are?
Copy !req
464. I feel like a pig shat in my head.
Copy !req
465. Well, get hold of that map
and look for a place called Crow Crag.
Copy !req
466. There must
and shall be aspirin.
Copy !req
467. Give me the key
and get out of the way.
Copy !req
468. If I don't get aspirin, I shall die,
here, on this fucking mountainside.
Copy !req
469. Christ Almighty!
Copy !req
470. Monty?
Copy !req
471. What are you doing?
Copy !req
472. Sitting down to enjoy my holiday.
Copy !req
473. Right. Now, we're going
to have to approach this scientifically.
Copy !req
474. First thing we've got to do
is get this fire alight.
Copy !req
475. Then we split into two fact-finding groups.
Copy !req
476. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings.
You can check the fuel and wood situation.
Copy !req
477. - What's that?
- The fuel and wood situation.
Copy !req
478. There's nothing out there
except a hurricane.
Copy !req
479. - This place is uninhabitable.
- Give it a chance. It's got to warm up.
Copy !req
480. Warm up? We may as well
sit around a cigarette.
Copy !req
481. This is ridiculous.
Copy !req
482. We'll be found dead in here next spring.
Copy !req
483. I've got a blinding fucking headache.
Copy !req
484. I must have heat.
Copy !req
485. Problem is,
we've got to keep this bastard burning.
Copy !req
486. Well, we've got enough furniture for tonight.
Copy !req
487. Tomorrow we get down that farm
and get some logs.
Copy !req
488. This is all a mistake. I tell you.
This is a dreadful mistake.
Copy !req
489. - Who's there?
- Me.
Copy !req
490. - What do you want?
- I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's.
Copy !req
491. He's lent us his cottage.
I wondered if you could sell us some food.
Copy !req
492. - Eggs and things?
- Hm?
Copy !req
493. What about wood and coal?
Copy !req
494. I'm not from London, you know.
Copy !req
495. I don't care where you come from!
Copy !req
496. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect
from the HE Bates novel I'd read.
Copy !req
497. I thought they'd all be out the back,
drinking cider and discussing butter.
Copy !req
498. Clearly a myth.
Copy !req
499. Evidently, country people are no more
receptive to strangers than city dwellers.
Copy !req
500. Do you think you could tell me
where I could buy some coal and wood?
Copy !req
501. You'll have to see me son.
He runs this farm.
Copy !req
502. - Where is your son?
- Up in top field.
Copy !req
503. You can't miss him.
His leg's bound in polythene.
Copy !req
504. Ah!
Copy !req
505. Withnail, you bastard. Wake up!
Copy !req
506. Oi! Wake up you bastard!
You gotta get wood.
Copy !req
507. Jesus, you're covered in shit.
Copy !req
508. I tried to get fuel and wood.
Copy !req
509. There's a miserable
little pensioner down there.
Copy !req
510. She wouldn't give it to me.
Copy !req
511. Well, where are we gonna get it, then?
Copy !req
512. There's a man on the mountain.
Copy !req
513. Why he's up there, fuck knows.
Copy !req
514. Ugh! But he's up there
with a leg bound in polythene.
Copy !req
515. You can't miss him. He's your man.
Copy !req
516. And have another look in that shed.
Find anything.
Copy !req
517. If you can't find anything,
bring in the shed.
Copy !req
518. How come Monty owns
such a horrible little shack?
Copy !req
519. - No idea.
- Never discuss your family, do you?
Copy !req
520. I fail to see my family
is of any interest to you.
Copy !req
521. I have absolutely no interest in yours.
Copy !req
522. I dislike relatives in general,
and my own in particular.
Copy !req
523. - Why?
- Because...
Copy !req
524. I've told you why.
We're incompatible.
Copy !req
525. They don't like me being on stage.
Copy !req
526. Then they must be delighted
with your career.
Copy !req
527. - What do you mean?
- You rarely are.
Copy !req
528. You just wait. Just you wait.
Copy !req
529. When I strike,
they won't know what hit them.
Copy !req
530. There's a tractor approaching.
Copy !req
531. Get after him. That's the man.
Copy !req
532. - Hey, stop!
- Stop!
Copy !req
533. - Stop, please!
- Stop!
Copy !req
534. Stop, please! Please, stop!
Copy !req
535. Please, stop.
Copy !req
536. - Are you the farmer?
- Shut up. I'll deal with this.
Copy !req
537. We've gone on holiday by mistake.
Copy !req
538. We're in this cottage here.
Are you the farmer?
Copy !req
539. Stop saying that, Withnail.
Of course he's the fucking farmer!
Copy !req
540. We're friends of Montague Withnail.
Copy !req
541. We desperately need fuel and wood.
Copy !req
542. Montague Withnail.
Copy !req
543. You must know him.
Fat man, owns the cottage.
Copy !req
544. Ah, I seen a fat man.
London type. Queer sort.
Copy !req
545. I think his name's, er, French or summat.
Copy !req
546. - French?
- Aye, Adrien de la Touche.
Copy !req
547. But he ain't been here for a couple of years.
Copy !req
548. Last time I saw him he were...
he were with his son.
Copy !req
549. Yeah, that's him.
Copy !req
550. Listen, we're bona fide.
We're not from London.
Copy !req
551. Could we have some fuel and wood?
Copy !req
552. Aye, I could bring you some logs over later,
but I've got the cows and that to feed first.
Copy !req
553. - When?
- Shut up! That would be very kind of you.
Copy !req
554. Erm, what about food? Do you think
you could sell us something to eat?
Copy !req
555. I could bring you a chicken,
but you'll have to go to the village really.
Copy !req
556. - That would be very kind of you, Mr...
- Parkin.
Copy !req
557. Mr Parkin. What happened to your leg?
Copy !req
558. Got a randy bull up there.
Give me one in t'knee.
Copy !req
559. You wanna get out the back, don't you?
Get some spuds up?
Copy !req
560. Sorry, I can't. My boots are in the oven.
Copy !req
561. - You'd go if you had boots?
- Gladly.
Copy !req
562. Great! How much do we owe you?
Copy !req
563. Er, pay us when you come down.
Copy !req
564. - What about this chicken?
- It's on t'back.
Copy !req
565. Oi. Oi.
Copy !req
566. Parkin's been. There's the supper.
Copy !req
567. - What are we supposed to do with that?
- Eat it.
Copy !req
568. - Eat it? Fucker's alive!
- Yeah, I know that. You've got to kill it.
Copy !req
569. Me? I'm the fire lighter and fuel collector.
Copy !req
570. Yeah, I know that, but I got the logs in.
Copy !req
571. You know, it takes away your appetite, looking at it.
Copy !req
572. No it doesn't. I'm starving.
Copy !req
573. - How can we make it die?
- You've got to throttle them.
Copy !req
574. Listen, I think
you should strangle it instantly,
Copy !req
575. in case it starts trying
to make friends with us.
Copy !req
576. All right. Get hold of it.
You hold it down and I'll strangle it.
Copy !req
577. I can't. Those dreadful beady eyes,
they stare you out.
Copy !req
578. It's a bloody chicken.
Just think of it with bacon across its back.
Copy !req
579. All right. I'll deal with this.
Copy !req
580. You'll have to get its guts out.
Copy !req
581. Never point guns at people.
It's extremely dangerous.
Copy !req
582. What about this roasting dish?
What are we gonna cook it in?
Copy !req
583. You're the food and plumbings man.
I've no idea.
Copy !req
584. I wish I'd found this an hour ago.
Copy !req
585. I'd have taken great pleasure
in gunning this pullet down.
Copy !req
586. - Shouldn't it be more bald than that?
- No, it shouldn't.
Copy !req
587. Right. We're gonna have
to reverse the roles.
Copy !req
588. We can bake the potatoes in the oven.
Copy !req
589. And we can boil this bastard over the fire.
Copy !req
590. Let's get its feet off.
Copy !req
591. No, it's gonna need its feet.
Copy !req
592. It can stand with its legs either side of that.
Copy !req
593. I've already put two shilling pieces in.
Copy !req
594. No, I haven't got another.
Copy !req
595. Well, it's not my fault
if the system doesn't work.
Copy !req
596. Bitch hung up on me.
Copy !req
597. Hello? How are you?
Copy !req
598. Very well.
Copy !req
599. A what?
Copy !req
600. Why wouldn't they see me?
Copy !req
601. This is ridiculous.
I haven't been up for a job in three months.
Copy !req
602. Understudy Konstantin?
I'm not going to understudy Konstantin.
Copy !req
603. Why can't I play the part?
Copy !req
604. This is ridiculous.
Copy !req
605. No, I'm not in London. Penrith.
Copy !req
606. Penrith!
Copy !req
607. Well, what about TV?
Copy !req
608. Listen, I pay you ten per cent to do that.
Copy !req
609. Well, lick ten per cent
of the arses for me, then.
Copy !req
610. Hello? Hello? Hello?
Copy !req
611. Hello? How dare you? Fuck you!
Copy !req
612. Bastard asked me to understudy
Konstantin in The Seagull.
Copy !req
613. I'm not going to understudy anybody.
Copy !req
614. Specially that little pimp.
Copy !req
615. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays.
Copy !req
616. Always full of women
staring out of windows,
Copy !req
617. whining about ducks going to Moscow.
Copy !req
618. - What do you think of Desmond Wolfe?
- In respect of what?
Copy !req
619. I'm thinking of changing my name.
Copy !req
620. It's too like Donald Wolfit.
Copy !req
621. Changeover point.
Copy !req
622. - Do you think he's happier than us?
- No.
Copy !req
623. I suppose happiness is relative.
Copy !req
624. But I never thought it would be
a polythene bag without a hole in it.
Copy !req
625. - Hey!
- What's the matter with him?
Copy !req
626. Shut that gate! Shut that gate!
Copy !req
627. You didn't shut the gate.
Copy !req
628. Stop that bull!
Copy !req
629. Stop that bull!
Copy !req
630. Grab its ring. Keep your bag up.
Copy !req
631. Out vibe it.
Copy !req
632. Hey! Show no fear.
Just run at it.
Copy !req
633. That can't be sensible, can it?
The bastard's about to run at me!
Copy !req
634. - Well, he's randy.
- Yes, yeah, I know he is!
Copy !req
635. He wants to get down there
and have sex with those cows.
Copy !req
636. Shut up, Withnail!
Copy !req
637. Run at it, shouting!
Copy !req
638. Do as he says. Start shouting.
Copy !req
639. It won't gore you.
Copy !req
640. A coward you are, Withnail.
An expert on bulls, you are not.
Copy !req
641. Aaaah!
Copy !req
642. Aaaah! Aaaah!
Copy !req
643. Aaaaaaah!
Copy !req
644. Shut that gate and keep it shut!
Copy !req
645. I think an evening at the Crow.
Copy !req
646. If the Crow and Crown ever had life,
it was dead now.
Copy !req
647. It was like walking into a lung.
Copy !req
648. A sulphur-stained, nicotine yellow
and fly-blown lung.
Copy !req
649. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic
with military pretensions
Copy !req
650. and a complexion
like the inside of a teapot.
Copy !req
651. By the time the doors opened,
he was arseholed on rum,
Copy !req
652. and got progressively more arseholed,
Copy !req
653. till he could take no more
and fell over about 12 o'clock.
Copy !req
654. We'll have another pair of large scotches.
Copy !req
655. Oof!
Copy !req
656. Thought I was going for a minute.
Copy !req
657. No man's put me down yet.
Copy !req
658. Have you had any training
in the martial arts?
Copy !req
659. Yes, as a matter of fact, I have.
Copy !req
660. Before I became a journalist,
I was in the Territorials.
Copy !req
661. Do you know?
When you first came in here,
Copy !req
662. I knew you were a services man.
Copy !req
663. You can never, never disguise it.
Copy !req
664. - What were you in?
- Tanks.
Copy !req
665. Africa Corps.
A little before your time.
Copy !req
666. Don't supposed you've engaged, have you?
Copy !req
667. Ireland.
Copy !req
668. Ooh, a crack at the Mick.
Copy !req
669. We'll have another pair of large scotches.
Copy !req
670. These shall be my pleasure.
Copy !req
671. What are you doing up here, then?
Copy !req
672. We're doing a feature for Country Life.
A survey of rural types.
Copy !req
673. You know, eh, farmers, travelling tinkers,
milkmen and that sort of thing.
Copy !req
674. Have you, er...
Copy !req
675. Have you met Jake?
Copy !req
676. Poacher. Works the lake.
Copy !req
677. But, eh, keep it under your hat, hm?
Copy !req
678. What's all this army bollocks?
Copy !req
679. We got a drink, didn't we?
Copy !req
680. Time, gentlemen.
Copy !req
681. I think he means it.
Copy !req
682. - Ask him if we can have one.
- What for?
Copy !req
683. So we can eat it. We're fed up with stew.
Copy !req
684. Excuse me. Could we have an eel?
Copy !req
685. - You've got eels down your leg.
- You leave them alone.
Copy !req
686. Nothing down there of interest to you.
Copy !req
687. Help us out, Raymond.
Copy !req
688. He's been fed
from arsehole to beak.
Copy !req
689. What about one of those pheasants?
Copy !req
690. Go on. Ask him.
Copy !req
691. Excuse me. We were wondering
if we could purchase a pheasant off of you.
Copy !req
692. No. I've got nothing to sell.
Copy !req
693. Oh, come on, old boy.
What's in your hump?
Copy !req
694. Now look you,
them pheasants are for his pot.
Copy !req
695. These eels are for my pot.
Copy !req
696. What makes you think I should
give you something for your pot?
Copy !req
697. - What pot?
- Our cooking pot.
Copy !req
698. Ah. He knows.
Copy !req
699. Hey. Give us a wheeze on that fag.
Copy !req
700. I might come
and see you lads in the week.
Copy !req
701. I might fetch you up a rabbit.
Copy !req
702. We don't want a rabbit.
We want a pheasant.
Copy !req
703. Listen, you young prat,
I ain't got no pheasants.
Copy !req
704. Ain't got no birds, no more than you have.
Copy !req
705. Of course you have. You're the poacher.
Copy !req
706. If I hear more words out of you,
Copy !req
707. I'll put one of these here black pods on you.
Copy !req
708. - Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- Half dead he may be.
Copy !req
709. But I'll come up after you
and I'll wake you up with a live one.
Copy !req
710. Sod your pheasants.
You'll have to find us first.
Copy !req
711. I know where you are.
You're at Crow Crag.
Copy !req
712. I've been watching you.
Especially you, prancing like a tit.
Copy !req
713. You want working on, boy.
Copy !req
714. If I see that silage heap
hanging about up here,
Copy !req
715. I'll take the bastard axe to him!
Copy !req
716. Bastards!
Copy !req
717. You'll all suffer!
Copy !req
718. I'll show the lot of you!
Copy !req
719. I'm gonna be a star!
Copy !req
720. Vegetables again?
We'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon.
Copy !req
721. Must be 20,000 sheep
out there on those volcanoes,
Copy !req
722. - and we've got a plateful of carrots.
- There's black puddings in it.
Copy !req
723. Black puddings are no good to us.
Copy !req
724. I want something's flesh.
Copy !req
725. Waah!
Copy !req
726. Look! Come here, look. Down here, look.
Copy !req
727. Under the rock. Look, I can see it.
Copy !req
728. Here, look.
Copy !req
729. See. Look. Here.
There's two of them here, look.
Copy !req
730. Come on, come on, come on.
Copy !req
731. I think I'll call myself Donald Twain.
Copy !req
732. Stop.
Copy !req
733. Get down.
Copy !req
734. It's him. What does he want?
Copy !req
735. We'd better
get down there and ask him.
Copy !req
736. Don't be a fool. He's got a gun.
Bastard's psychotic.
Copy !req
737. You've only got to look at him.
Copy !req
738. This place has become impossible.
Copy !req
739. Perpetual rain. Freezing cold.
Copy !req
740. And now a bloody madman
on the prowl outside with eels.
Copy !req
741. All right. You've made your point.
Copy !req
742. We'll pack up and we'll get out tomorrow.
Copy !req
743. - What are you doing?
- I'm going for a slash.
Copy !req
744. No, you're not, you can't.
I can't get my boots on when they're hot.
Copy !req
745. - I'll go alone.
- No, you won't.
Copy !req
746. You're not leaving me in here alone.
Copy !req
747. Those are the kind of windows
faces look in at.
Copy !req
748. All right, then, I won't have a slash.
Copy !req
749. And in both our interests,
I think we should sleep together tonight.
Copy !req
750. Don't be ridiculous.
He's not going to come up here in the dark.
Copy !req
751. Of course he is. If he decides to come
up here and catches one of us unawares,
Copy !req
752. he's got a much better chance
of dealing with the other.
Copy !req
753. No.
Copy !req
754. What's the matter with you?
What are you laughing at?
Copy !req
755. - I was dreaming. What do you want?
- You frightened the piss out of me.
Copy !req
756. Move over, I'm getting in.
Copy !req
757. Ah, this is ridiculous.
Copy !req
758. - Ah, I'll have to sleep in your bed.
- I'll have to come with you, then.
Copy !req
759. - Oh, will you get out?
- No.
Copy !req
760. Right, then I will.
Copy !req
761. All right. You can stay,
but the gun doesn't.
Copy !req
762. No. I have to keep the gun.
I intend to remain awake till morning.
Copy !req
763. No, this is my bed
and I demand precedence.
Copy !req
764. - No!
- Give me the gun! Give me...
Copy !req
765. Mad fucking bastard!
Copy !req
766. Get out. Fuck you. Fuck off!
Copy !req
767. Sh! Listen! Listen.
Copy !req
768. There is nothing! Get to bed.
Copy !req
769. I heard a noise.
Copy !req
770. I must get in.
Copy !req
771. Oh, for fuck's sake.
Copy !req
772. What was that?
Copy !req
773. - That's it! That's it!
- What is it?
Copy !req
774. It's the maniac.
Copy !req
775. - It's probably foxes looking for grub.
- Listen! Listen!
Copy !req
776. Maybe it's the farmer.
Copy !req
777. At two o'clock in the morning?
Copy !req
778. It's the killer. He's come to kill us.
Copy !req
779. What are we gonna do?
Copy !req
780. He wants to come in,
he's trying to get in.
Copy !req
781. He can't. He'll go away.
Copy !req
782. He's going away.
Copy !req
783. This is all your fault.
You've even given him the fucking gun.
Copy !req
784. He's coming through the window.
He's getting in.
Copy !req
785. - Gimme the matches.
- Downstairs.
Copy !req
786. He's in.
Copy !req
787. He's sharpening a fucking knife.
Copy !req
788. We'll have to tackle him.
Copy !req
789. You stay in bed and pretend to be asleep.
Copy !req
790. He'll go for you.
When he does, I'll jump on his back.
Copy !req
791. No, no, no, no, it'll be too late.
I'll be knifed by then.
Copy !req
792. We'll have to try
and make friends with him.
Copy !req
793. He's going into your room.
It's you he wants.
Copy !req
794. Offer him yourself.
Copy !req
795. We mean no harm!
Copy !req
796. Oh, my boys,
my boys, forgive me.
Copy !req
797. Monty. Monty. Monty!
Copy !req
798. Monty, you terrible cunt!
Copy !req
799. Forgive me. It was inconsiderate
of me not to have telegrammed.
Copy !req
800. What are you doing, prowling around
in the middle of the fucking night?
Copy !req
801. Well, I had a punctured tyre.
I had to wait an aeon for assistance.
Copy !req
802. I... I'm sorry if I frightened you.
I should have knocked, but...
Copy !req
803. Oh, I'll... I'll sleep in the other room,
if I may.
Copy !req
804. Anywhere you like.
Copy !req
805. Eh, yes, well, erm... Er... good night.
Copy !req
806. - Ah, good morning. Sleep well?
- Hm.
Copy !req
807. Uh, oh, I... I do apologise for last night.
It was perfectly inconsiderate of me.
Copy !req
808. It's perfectly all right, Monty.
You've been busy in here.
Copy !req
809. Yeah, as a bee.
Copy !req
810. How did you repair the window?
Copy !req
811. Oh, I didn't break it. Merely forced it a little.
Copy !req
812. I'm sorry if I frightened you.
Copy !req
813. There was an empty wine bottle
on the ledge.
Copy !req
814. Uh, tomatoes. Yes.
Copy !req
815. Why don't you go and wake him?
Copy !req
816. Breakfast in 15 minutes.
Copy !req
817. The old order changeth,
Copy !req
818. yielding place to new.
Copy !req
819. And God fulfils himself in many ways.
Copy !req
820. And soon...
Copy !req
821. I suppose...
Copy !req
822. I shall be swept away
by some vulgar little tumour.
Copy !req
823. Oh, my boys, my boys,
Copy !req
824. we're at the end of an age.
Copy !req
825. We live in a land of weather forecasts
and breakfasts that "set in".
Copy !req
826. Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour.
Copy !req
827. And here we are. We three.
Copy !req
828. Perhaps the last island of beauty
in the world.
Copy !req
829. Now, which of you
is going to be a splendid fellow
Copy !req
830. and go down to the Rolls
for the rest of the wine?
Copy !req
831. - I will!
- No, I'd better go.
Copy !req
832. I want to see about
digging the car out, anyway.
Copy !req
833. But we have my car, dear boy.
Copy !req
834. Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered.
Copy !req
835. - I mean...
- Stranded!
Copy !req
836. We'll leave the car till later.
Leave this to me.
Copy !req
837. Well, I'll come with you, then.
I fancy a walk.
Copy !req
838. No, no, no. I hear you're
a little wizard in the kitchen.
Copy !req
839. - I shall need you to work on the joint.
- Yeah, you're the cook.
Copy !req
840. Erm, what on earth are those?
Copy !req
841. - We forgot to bring our wellingtons.
- Oh, but how dreadful.
Copy !req
842. Do you mean you've been up here
Copy !req
843. in all this beastly mud and oomska
without wellingtons?
Copy !req
844. Well, this afternoon,
I shall take you both into Penrith
Copy !req
845. and get you fitted
with some good quality rubber boots.
Copy !req
846. Garlic, rosemary and salt.
Copy !req
847. I brought two of these in case either
of you was any good in the kitchen.
Copy !req
848. - I'm not.
- Oh, of course you are.
Copy !req
849. - Cooking's one of the natural instincts.
- Listen, Monty.
Copy !req
850. This is all very kind of you, but really,
Copy !req
851. I think I ought to be out there getting
some work done on the car.
Copy !req
852. Nonsense. You haven't time.
We're taking late luncheon at three.
Copy !req
853. - I'm afraid we have to leave by three, Monty.
- Leave?
Copy !req
854. Oh, didn't he tell you?
We have to get back to sign on.
Copy !req
855. Sign on? At a Labour Exchange?
Copy !req
856. Yeah. It's sort of fashionable, actually.
Copy !req
857. All the actors do it. Even Redgrave.
Copy !req
858. But surely you could forego
for just this one occasion?
Copy !req
859. I've come a very long way to see you both.
Copy !req
860. Can't actually, I mean, I'd love to stay.
Copy !req
861. But he's more adamant
to get back than I am.
Copy !req
862. Then we must choose our moment...
Copy !req
863. and have a word with him.
Copy !req
864. I'm sure together we could persuade him.
Copy !req
865. There, now.
Copy !req
866. Garlic, rosemary and salt.
Copy !req
867. I can never touch meat until it's cooked.
Copy !req
868. As a youth, I used to weep
in butchers' shops.
Copy !req
869. - I can't find the rosemary.
- Huh?
Copy !req
870. You can't find the rosemary?
Copy !req
871. I'm sure we could find it together.
Copy !req
872. - Perhaps it's in the other bag?
- Perhaps it is. Shall we look?
Copy !req
873. Oh, sorry. Sherry's in there.
Copy !req
874. What do you mean, sorry?
What's going on? What's he doing?
Copy !req
875. Listen, we can't stay.
He won't leave me alone.
Copy !req
876. All right. We'll get
the lunch done and then we'll leave.
Copy !req
877. I'm afraid we must drink from these.
Copy !req
878. I trust their shapes
will not offend your palates.
Copy !req
879. - Chin-chin.
- To a delightful weekend in the country.
Copy !req
880. I do think you could have shaved.
Copy !req
881. What on earth will people think
of me turning up with you two?
Copy !req
882. You look like a pair of farm-hands.
Copy !req
883. This is most embarrassing.
Copy !req
884. Get away from the car.
Copy !req
885. Buy the wellingtons.
Copy !req
886. I'm going to go and buy
some razors and shaving soap.
Copy !req
887. I'll see you over there in half an hour.
Copy !req
888. - Pair of blues.
- One each.
Copy !req
889. - I think a drink, don't you?
- What about the wellingtons?
Copy !req
890. Oh, bollocks to the wellingtons.
Copy !req
891. We'll tell him they had a farmer's conference
and had a run on them.
Copy !req
892. OK. Yeah. Promise. Bye.
Copy !req
893. Huh. Hasn't heard a thing.
Apparently, they're still seeing people.
Copy !req
894. You don't want to go to Manchester, anyway.
Copy !req
895. - Play a bloody soldier?
- Don't I? I damn well do.
Copy !req
896. It's a bloody good little theatre.
Copy !req
897. - That's not much of a part, though, is it?
- Well, it's better than nothing.
Copy !req
898. - They'd make you cut your hair off.
- So what? You'd lose a leg.
Copy !req
899. Time, gents, please.
Copy !req
900. All right. We're going
to have to work quickly.
Copy !req
901. A pair of quadruple whiskys
and another pair of pints, please.
Copy !req
902. Where is he? I'm utterly arseholed.
Copy !req
903. We're early.
Copy !req
904. We wanna get in there, don't we?
Copy !req
905. Eat some cake, soak up the booze.
Copy !req
906. Ahh.
Copy !req
907. - All right here?
- What do you want?
Copy !req
908. Cake. All right here?
Copy !req
909. No, we're closing in a minute.
Copy !req
910. We're leaving in a minute.
Copy !req
911. We want cake and tea.
Copy !req
912. Didn't you hear?
She said she'd closed.
Copy !req
913. What do you want in here?
Copy !req
914. Cake. What's it got to do with you?
Copy !req
915. I happen to be the proprietor.
Now, would you leave?
Copy !req
916. Ah, I'm glad you're the proprietor.
Copy !req
917. I was going to have to have a word
with you anyway.
Copy !req
918. We're working on a film up here.
Copy !req
919. Locations, see.
Copy !req
920. We might want to do a film in here.
Copy !req
921. - You're drunk.
- Just bring out the cakes.
Copy !req
922. Cake and fine wine.
Copy !req
923. If you don't leave, we'll call the police.
Copy !req
924. Balls! We want the finest wines
available to humanity.
Copy !req
925. We want them here,
and we want them now!
Copy !req
926. Miss Blenehassitt,
telephone the police.
Copy !req
927. Yes, all right, Miss Blenehassitt.
Copy !req
928. I'm warning you. If you do, you're fired.
Copy !req
929. We're multimillionaires.
Copy !req
930. We shall buy this place
and fire you immediately.
Copy !req
931. Yes, we'll buy this place.
Copy !req
932. And we'll install a fucking jukebox in here...
Copy !req
933. ..to liven all you stiffs up a bit.
Copy !req
934. The police, Miss Blenehassitt.
Copy !req
935. Just say there are a couple of drunks
in the Penrith Tea Rooms
Copy !req
936. - and we want them removed.
- We are not drunks.
Copy !req
937. We are multimillionaires.
Copy !req
938. Hurry up, Mabs.
We'll keep them here till they arrive.
Copy !req
939. You won't keep us anywhere.
Copy !req
940. We'll buy this place
and have it knocked down.
Copy !req
941. - All right. It's all right.
- Police, please.
Copy !req
942. It's all right. We're going.
Copy !req
943. Our car's arrived.
Copy !req
944. We'll be back.
Copy !req
945. We're coming back in here.
Copy !req
946. - Where is he?
- He's sulking up the hill.
Copy !req
947. He says he won't come in for lunch
without an apology.
Copy !req
948. Suits me. He can eat his fucking radish.
Copy !req
949. It's all your fault.
Copy !req
950. You lead him astray.
Copy !req
951. - I beg your pardon, Monty?
- Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it.
Copy !req
952. I know what you're up to and so do you.
Copy !req
953. - Sherry?
- Sherry? Oh, dear, no. No, no.
Copy !req
954. I'd be sucked into his trap.
Copy !req
955. One of us has got to stay on guard.
Copy !req
956. He's so mauve.
We don't know what he's planning.
Copy !req
957. I'm preparing myself to forgive you.
Copy !req
958. I think you've been punished enough.
Copy !req
959. I think we'd better release you
from the legumes
Copy !req
960. and transfer your talents to the meat.
Copy !req
961. You shouldn't treat each other so badly.
Copy !req
962. This boy's been out there,
frozen to the marrow,
Copy !req
963. and you just sit in here, drinking.
Copy !req
964. Now come along,
he's going to revitalise himself
Copy !req
965. and you're going to finish the vegetables.
Copy !req
966. - I don't know how to do them.
- Well, of course you don't.
Copy !req
967. You are incapable of indulging in anything
but pleasure, am I not right?
Copy !req
968. You don't deserve such loyalty.
Copy !req
969. Now come along. I'm going
to teach you how to peel a potato.
Copy !req
970. Isn't it stimulating, getting back
to a basic sort of life for a while?
Copy !req
971. - Yes.
- Surrounded by trees and nature,
Copy !req
972. one feels a glorious stirring of the senses.
Copy !req
973. A rejection of poisonous inhibition
and a fecund motion of the soul.
Copy !req
974. Except, of course, the problems tend
to take the edge off the pleasure.
Copy !req
975. I mean, with no proper facilities.
Copy !req
976. All the glorious trials of youth, dear boy.
Copy !req
977. When I was a lad, I'd rocket off
on my tandem with Wrigglesworth,
Copy !req
978. and we'd just ride and ride.
Copy !req
979. And at night, we'd find some barn
and fall asleep
Copy !req
980. with the perfumes of nature
sighing on our skin.
Copy !req
981. Would it be in bad form
to plagiarise a toast?
Copy !req
982. It depends entirely
on the quality of the wine.
Copy !req
983. In this instance,
it most certainly would not.
Copy !req
984. In that case,
to a delightful weekend in the country.
Copy !req
985. Oh, splendid.
Copy !req
986. We expected a volley of argument
concerning Mr Redgrave.
Copy !req
987. - You're forgetting about Jake.
- Not another word.
Copy !req
988. - Not another word. Jake can wait too.
- Jake isn't a friend, Monty.
Copy !req
989. I'd hoped to avoid telling you this,
Copy !req
990. but there's a psychotic on the prowl
outside this house.
Copy !req
991. Ask him if I exaggerate.
He's threatened us and he's dangerous.
Copy !req
992. Is this true?
Copy !req
993. Well, there's this local type hanging about.
Copy !req
994. A poacher. Got into a tiff
and he threatened me with a dead fish.
Copy !req
995. Yes, it was rather amusing, actually.
Copy !req
996. When you came in,
we thought it was him.
Copy !req
997. And we thought that you,
cleaning your boots,
Copy !req
998. was him, sharpening his knife.
Copy !req
999. Oh!
Copy !req
1000. Oh, how delicious.
Copy !req
1001. More meat?
Copy !req
1002. No, thank you. I'm going for a walk.
Copy !req
1003. Oh, wait for us to finish, dear boy,
and we'll all go.
Copy !req
1004. Listen, I know what you're thinking,
but I had no alternative.
Copy !req
1005. The old bugger's come a long way,
and I didn't want to put the wind up him.
Copy !req
1006. Your sensitivity overwhelms me.
Copy !req
1007. If you think you're gonna have a weekend's
indulgence up here at his expense,
Copy !req
1008. which means him having a weekend's
indulgence up here at my expense,
Copy !req
1009. - you've got another think coming.
- I give you my word.
Copy !req
1010. - We'll leave first thing tomorrow morning.
- Tomorrow? What about tonight?
Copy !req
1011. - He's not going to try anything.
- Of course he is!
Copy !req
1012. Why do you think he's here?
He means business.
Copy !req
1013. Anyway, he sent me out
to tell you that the coffee's ready.
Copy !req
1014. I couldn't drink it. I've got a cramp
in the mouth from grinning.
Copy !req
1015. - Well, stop smiling at him.
- I can't help it.
Copy !req
1016. I'm so uptight with him, I can't stop myself.
Copy !req
1017. Laissez-moi respirer
Copy !req
1018. Longtemps, longtemps
l'odeur de tes cheveux
Copy !req
1019. Ah, Baudelaire.
Copy !req
1020. Brings back such memories of Oxford.
Copy !req
1021. Oh, Oxford.
Copy !req
1022. Followed by yet another anecdote
about his sensitive crimes
Copy !req
1023. in a punt with a chap called Norman,
Copy !req
1024. who had red hair and a book of poetry
stained with the butter drips from crumpets.
Copy !req
1025. I often wonder
where Norman is now.
Copy !req
1026. Probably wintering
with his mother in Guildford.
Copy !req
1027. A cat and the rain.
Copy !req
1028. Vim under the sink and both bars on.
Copy !req
1029. But old, now. Old.
Copy !req
1030. There can be no true beauty without decay.
Copy !req
1031. Elegium pro Britannia.
Copy !req
1032. How right you are. How right you are.
Copy !req
1033. We live in a kingdom of rains,
Copy !req
1034. where royalty comes in gangs.
Copy !req
1035. Come on, lads, let's get home.
The sky's beginning to bruise.
Copy !req
1036. Night must fall,
and we shall be forced to camp.
Copy !req
1037. He's having my room, all right?
That's the condition, all right?
Copy !req
1038. - All right.
- I want the room with the lock.
Copy !req
1039. - Agree to that or I'm off.
- All right. All right.
Copy !req
1040. Oh, good ol' Jake, eh?
I told you.
Copy !req
1041. He's back, and that is precisely
the reason I'm off to London.
Copy !req
1042. Let's all have a good laugh, eh, Withnail?
Copy !req
1043. Good old Jake, eh? He's back!
Copy !req
1044. - He's going away. He's leaving.
- Come on, let's pack up.
Copy !req
1045. We'll get out of here before it gets dark.
Copy !req
1046. "Here hare here."
Copy !req
1047. Here hare here.
Copy !req
1048. Good old Jake.
Copy !req
1049. Ace bets. Ace bets two.
And it's over to you.
Copy !req
1050. - Your two and up two.
- Mm.
Copy !req
1051. - So that's four.
- That's four.
Copy !req
1052. Four.
Copy !req
1053. Aces will pay for the raise
and see the two.
Copy !req
1054. Now, last card.
Copy !req
1055. Nonne solus videtur.
Copy !req
1056. Reginae suendae defit.
Copy !req
1057. And, oh!
Copy !req
1058. And there she is!
Copy !req
1059. Oh! A possible flush.
Copy !req
1060. Oh, well...
Copy !req
1061. Well, it's the two queens to bet.
Copy !req
1062. Another hand?
Copy !req
1063. I think we'd better get him to bed.
Copy !req
1064. No, no. He's down here.
Copy !req
1065. You're in my room, I'm in his room
and he's down here.
Copy !req
1066. No, no, I wouldn't dream of depriving
the dear fellow of his bed,
Copy !req
1067. - especially in that condition.
- But it's agreed. It's what he wants.
Copy !req
1068. No, I don't. I want to get to bed.
Copy !req
1069. All right, then, lovey. Let's get you to bed.
Copy !req
1070. In bed by midnight, it'll do us both good.
Copy !req
1071. Night, night, then, Monty.
Copy !req
1072. I want to be alone.
I want to be alone.
Copy !req
1073. I want to be alone.
Copy !req
1074. I think he'd better sleep alone tonight.
Copy !req
1075. He doesn't want to sleep with you.
Copy !req
1076. Right.
Copy !req
1077. Well, you're in there.
Copy !req
1078. And I'll take these
and I'll... I'll have the couch.
Copy !req
1079. I'll say goodnight, then, Monty.
Copy !req
1080. You already have.
Copy !req
1081. Twice.
Copy !req
1082. What is it, Monty? I'm terribly tired.
I need to go to sleep.
Copy !req
1083. But not that tired, eh?
Copy !req
1084. Are you a sponge or a stone?
Copy !req
1085. What do you mean?
Copy !req
1086. Do you like to experience all facets of life,
Copy !req
1087. or do you shut yourself off
from new experience?
Copy !req
1088. - I voted Conservative.
- Are you faithful?
Copy !req
1089. - To whom?
- Faithfulness isn't selective.
Copy !req
1090. No, I quite agree. It's more a question
of selecting to whom one will be faithful.
Copy !req
1091. Have you selected?
Copy !req
1092. I'm terribly tired.
Copy !req
1093. I've been watching you all evening.
Copy !req
1094. You've been avoiding my eyes, haven't you?
Copy !req
1095. - Your eyes?
- Mm.
Copy !req
1096. At luncheon, you couldn't
tear your gaze from mine.
Copy !req
1097. This evening, you barely looked at me.
Copy !req
1098. What did he say to you?
Copy !req
1099. - Nothing.
- You can tell me.
Copy !req
1100. I assure you, nothing, Monty.
Copy !req
1101. I'm terribly tired. I need to go to bed.
Copy !req
1102. Yes. You must, mustn't you?
Copy !req
1103. Off you go then. I'll sleep here.
Copy !req
1104. It won't be the first time
I've been left with the couch.
Copy !req
1105. Boy.
Copy !req
1106. Boy.
Copy !req
1107. I know you're not asleep, boy.
Copy !req
1108. But he is.
Copy !req
1109. I've been into his room.
Copy !req
1110. He won't hear a thing.
Copy !req
1111. I know you're not asleep, boy.
Copy !req
1112. No, I'm not.
Copy !req
1113. What is it, Monty? What do you want?
Copy !req
1114. I had to come. I tried not to.
Copy !req
1115. Oh, how I tried not to.
Copy !req
1116. Listen, Monty, there's something
I have to explain to you.
Copy !req
1117. You needn't explain.
He's told me everything.
Copy !req
1118. He told me that first day
you came to Chelsea.
Copy !req
1119. What... what's he told you?
Copy !req
1120. He told me about your arrest
in the Tottenham Court Road.
Copy !req
1121. He told me about your problems.
Copy !req
1122. How you feel. Your desires.
Copy !req
1123. Problems? What problems?
Copy !req
1124. - You are a toilet trader.
- He told you that?
Copy !req
1125. You mustn't blame him.
You mustn't blame yourself.
Copy !req
1126. I know how you feel and how difficult it is.
Copy !req
1127. And that's why you mustn't hold back
and let it ruin your youth
Copy !req
1128. as I nearly did over Eric.
Copy !req
1129. It's like a tide. Give in to it, boy.
Copy !req
1130. Go with it. It's society's crime, not ours.
Copy !req
1131. - I'm not homosexual, Monty.
- Yes, you are. Of course you are.
Copy !req
1132. You're simply blackmailing your emotions
Copy !req
1133. to avoid the realities
of your relationship with him.
Copy !req
1134. - What are you talking about?
- You love him.
Copy !req
1135. And it isn't his fault he cannot love you
Copy !req
1136. any more than it's mine that I adore you.
Copy !req
1137. Couldn't we allow ourselves just
this one moment of indiscretion?
Copy !req
1138. - No!
- He need never know.
Copy !req
1139. I don't care what he knows.
Monty, you've got to go. You've got to leave.
Copy !req
1140. If you want to humiliate me,
humiliate me. I adore you.
Copy !req
1141. Tell him if you must. I no longer care.
Copy !req
1142. I mean to have you,
even if it must be burglary.
Copy !req
1143. It's not me, it's him.
Copy !req
1144. He lied to you. We're an affair.
We have been for years.
Copy !req
1145. But he doesn't want you to know,
he doesn't want anybody to know.
Copy !req
1146. We're both in it. We're...
We're obsessed with each other.
Copy !req
1147. But he's ashamed, he refuses
to come out and accept what he is.
Copy !req
1148. That's why he's rejecting me
while you're here.
Copy !req
1149. On my life, Monty, this is the first night
Copy !req
1150. we haven't slept together for six years.
Copy !req
1151. I can't cheat on him. It would kill him.
Copy !req
1152. But he told me you were in purgatory
because he couldn't love you.
Copy !req
1153. He's lying, lying!
Copy !req
1154. Oh, my dear boy.
Copy !req
1155. If I had known that, I would never have
attempted to come between you.
Copy !req
1156. I know that, Monty.
I respect you for your sensitivity.
Copy !req
1157. I thank you for it. But you must leave.
Copy !req
1158. Yes.
Copy !req
1159. Yes. You'd better go to him.
Copy !req
1160. Oh, I intend to. This instant.
Copy !req
1161. Withnail, you bastard, wake up.
Copy !req
1162. Wake up, you bastard.
Or I'll burn this bastard bed down.
Copy !req
1163. I deny all accusations.
Copy !req
1164. What do you want?
Copy !req
1165. I've just narrowly avoided
having a buggering,
Copy !req
1166. and I've come in here with
the express intention of wishing one on you.
Copy !req
1167. Having said that,
I now intend to leave for London.
Copy !req
1168. Hold on. Don't let your imagination
run away with you.
Copy !req
1169. Imagination!
I just finished fighting a naked man.
Copy !req
1170. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?
Copy !req
1171. It was a tactical necessity.
If I hadn't told him you were active,
Copy !req
1172. we'd never have got the cottage.
Copy !req
1173. I'd never have wanted it. Not with him in it.
Copy !req
1174. I never thought he'd come all this way.
Copy !req
1175. - Monty? He'd go to New York.
- It was a calculated risk.
Copy !req
1176. What is all this "tactical necessity"
and "calculated risk"?
Copy !req
1177. This is me, naked, in a corner.
Copy !req
1178. And how dare you tell him I love you?
Copy !req
1179. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?
Copy !req
1180. - How dare you tell him that?
- Sorry about that.
Copy !req
1181. I got a bit carried away.
I sort of said it without thinking.
Copy !req
1182. Well, let me tell you something, Withnail.
If he comes into my room again, it's murder.
Copy !req
1183. And you will be held responsible in law.
Copy !req
1184. "Perhaps it is appropriate justice
for the eavesdropper
Copy !req
1185. "that he should leave as his
trade determines,
Copy !req
1186. "in secrecy,
Copy !req
1187. "and in the dead of night.
Copy !req
1188. "I do sincerely hope
that you will find the happiness
Copy !req
1189. "which, alas,
has always been denied to me.
Copy !req
1190. "I am yours ever faithfully,
Copy !req
1191. "Montague H Withnail."
Copy !req
1192. Poor old bastard.
Copy !req
1193. I would say...
Copy !req
1194. that that represents a degree of hypocrisy
I have hitherto suspected in you,
Copy !req
1195. but not noticed,
due to your highly evasive skills.
Copy !req
1196. Christ, Withnail.
Copy !req
1197. You'll suffer for this.
What you have done will have to be paid for.
Copy !req
1198. I'll say one thing for Monty,
Copy !req
1199. he keeps a sensational cellar.
Copy !req
1200. - Who's there?
- Telegram.
Copy !req
1201. Well done.
Copy !req
1202. Well, it doesn't mean to say I've got it.
Copy !req
1203. They... they probably
just want to see me again.
Copy !req
1204. Well, that settles it then.
We leave immediately.
Copy !req
1205. What?
Copy !req
1206. Get your kit together.
We're leaving in half an hour.
Copy !req
1207. Half an hour? Don't be ridiculous.
I need at least an hour for lunch.
Copy !req
1208. You've got a truck coming up.
About 200 yards.
Copy !req
1209. Followed by a left slow-hander.
Copy !req
1210. Oh, this is insanity, I can't keep this up.
Copy !req
1211. Stay in this lane. Bear right. Bear right.
Copy !req
1212. Lane? What lane?
I've not seen a fucking lane.
Copy !req
1213. Bear right! Bear right! Bear right!
Copy !req
1214. Right, that's it.
Copy !req
1215. Next garage, I've got to do
something about that wiper.
Copy !req
1216. And I've got to get some sleep.
Copy !req
1217. - What's going on?
- I'm making time.
Copy !req
1218. Are you out of your mind?
Copy !req
1219. Pull over. You haven't got a licence.
Copy !req
1220. No. I'm making time.
Copy !req
1221. - Where are we?
- We're approaching London.
Copy !req
1222. - Here comes another fucker.
- ♪ And I chop it down
Copy !req
1223. It's perfectly all right. Leave them to me.
Copy !req
1224. You're full of scotch, you silly tool.
Copy !req
1225. A bit early in the morning
for festivities, isn't it?
Copy !req
1226. These aren't mine. They belong to him.
Copy !req
1227. - You're drunk.
- I assure you I'm not, officer.
Copy !req
1228. Honestly. I've only had a few ales.
Copy !req
1229. Out of the car.
Copy !req
1230. Please?
Copy !req
1231. Sir?
Copy !req
1232. I want you to take one deep breath
and fill this bag.
Copy !req
1233. - Are you refusing to fill this bag?
- I most certainly am.
Copy !req
1234. - I'm placing you under arrest.
- Don't be ridiculous.
Copy !req
1235. - I haven't done anything.
- Come on.
Copy !req
1236. Look here, my cousin's a QC.
Copy !req
1237. GET-IN-THE-BACK-OF-THE-VAN!
Copy !req
1238. Look, sarge. What's that clown doing?
Copy !req
1239. - Where's our cheques?
- We didn't sign on.
Copy !req
1240. That wouldn't make any difference
to last week's payment.
Copy !req
1241. What are you doing in my bed?
Copy !req
1242. - I've been asleep.
- Who is the huge spade in the bath?
Copy !req
1243. Presuming Ed.
Copy !req
1244. Now you've got ten minutes, right?
I want you out, cos I wanna get in.
Copy !req
1245. Ten minutes, right,
you'd better be on your feet.
Copy !req
1246. How did you get in?
Copy !req
1247. Ingenuity, man. Come up the drainpipe.
Copy !req
1248. - Would you like a smoke?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1249. No, thanks, I've got a call to make.
Copy !req
1250. What are you going to do with those?
Copy !req
1251. The joint I'm about to roll
requires a craftsman.
Copy !req
1252. It can utilise up to 12 skins.
Copy !req
1253. It is called the Camberwell Carrot.
Copy !req
1254. It's impossible
to use 12 papers on one joint.
Copy !req
1255. It's impossible to make
a Camberwell Carrot with anything less.
Copy !req
1256. Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot?
Copy !req
1257. I do. I invented it in Camberwell
and it looks like a carrot.
Copy !req
1258. Do you realise this gaff's
overrun with rodents?
Copy !req
1259. When I come in, I seen one
the size of a fucking dog.
Copy !req
1260. No, that is a dog,
belongs to the fellow downstairs.
Copy !req
1261. Does his dog get in the oven?
Copy !req
1262. - No, his dog doesn't come up here.
- Then it was a rodent.
Copy !req
1263. Opened the oven door
and it was in there looking at me.
Copy !req
1264. Quite freaked me at the time.
Copy !req
1265. I was gonna cook onions.
Copy !req
1266. - Are you going to bed now?
- No. Phone.
Copy !req
1267. - Who's he gone to telephone?
- Squat Betty.
Copy !req
1268. His agent. But he's wasting his time
because he won't be in.
Copy !req
1269. This'll tend to make you very high.
Copy !req
1270. This grass is the most powerful
in the western hemisphere.
Copy !req
1271. I have it specially flown in
from my man in Mexico.
Copy !req
1272. He's an expert.
Copy !req
1273. His name is Juan.
Copy !req
1274. This grass grows
at exactly 2,000 feet above sea level.
Copy !req
1275. Did you get the part, man?
Copy !req
1276. I got a different one.
Copy !req
1277. They want me to play the lead.
Copy !req
1278. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1279. Where exactly have you two been?
Copy !req
1280. - Holiday in the countryside.
- That's a very good idea.
Copy !req
1281. London is a country
coming down from its trip.
Copy !req
1282. We are 91 days
from the end of this decade,
Copy !req
1283. and there's gonna be a lot of refugees.
Copy !req
1284. They'll be going round this town
shouting "Bring out your dead!"
Copy !req
1285. There was a geezer round here
the other day looking for you.
Copy !req
1286. - What geezer?
- Some bald geezer.
Copy !req
1287. Reckons you owe him 266 quid back rent.
Copy !req
1288. I told him there's no question
of paying rent on a property cut with rodents.
Copy !req
1289. He takes exception to this,
Copy !req
1290. and starts coming on really bald with me.
Copy !req
1291. You mean ratty?
Copy !req
1292. I told him to piss off.
Copy !req
1293. Bloody fool. He'll have us up in court again.
Copy !req
1294. - No, he won't. It ain't legal.
- I assume we can quote you, can we?
Copy !req
1295. Law rather appeals to me, actually.
Copy !req
1296. Just high.
Copy !req
1297. Stop laughing, Withnail, this is serious.
Copy !req
1298. No it ain't. I looked into it.
Studied the papers.
Copy !req
1299. - What papers?
- Legal papers.
Copy !req
1300. What papers, Danny?
Copy !req
1301. Oh, oh!
Copy !req
1302. He's got our cheques.
Copy !req
1303. - What are you doing with these?
- I was gonna cash them in for you.
Copy !req
1304. Hare Rama. Hare Rama.
Copy !req
1305. Hare Rama, Hare Rama.
Copy !req
1306. For Christ's sake, Withnail. Stop laughing.
Copy !req
1307. - This is a notice of eviction.
- Hare Rama, Hare Rama.
Copy !req
1308. Rama Rama. Rama Rama.
Copy !req
1309. Will you stop laughing?
They want to turn us out.
Copy !req
1310. - Hare Rama.
- For God's...
Copy !req
1311. Will you shut up, for God's sake?
You're giving me the fear.
Copy !req
1312. Gimme a downer, Danny. My brain's capsizing.
I've gone and fucked my brain.
Copy !req
1313. Change down, man.
Find your neutral space.
Copy !req
1314. You got a rush.
Copy !req
1315. It will pass. Be seated.
Copy !req
1316. Aren't you getting absurdly high?
Copy !req
1317. Precisely the reason I'm smoking it.
Copy !req
1318. I couldn't. I'm spaced.
Copy !req
1319. Not as spaced as your rodents.
Copy !req
1320. Don't talk about them.
Copy !req
1321. Well, I imagine they're talking to each other.
Copy !req
1322. - What do you mean?
- I dealt with them.
Copy !req
1323. Dealt with them?
What the fuck do you mean?
Copy !req
1324. Dosed them.
I expect they're dead down the drain.
Copy !req
1325. Dead down the drain?
What have you done to them?
Copy !req
1326. Given them all drugged onions.
Copy !req
1327. Jesus Christ!
Why have you drugged their onions?
Copy !req
1328. Sit down, man. Take control.
Copy !req
1329. Oh, give me a Valium.
I'm getting the fear.
Copy !req
1330. You have done something
to your brain.
Copy !req
1331. You have made it high.
Copy !req
1332. If I lay ten mils of diazepam on you,
you will do something else to your brain.
Copy !req
1333. You will make it low.
Why trust one drug and not the other?
Copy !req
1334. That's politics, innit?
Copy !req
1335. I'm gonna eat some sugar.
Copy !req
1336. I recommend you smoke some more grass.
Copy !req
1337. No way. No fucking way.
Copy !req
1338. That is an unfortunate political decision,
Copy !req
1339. reflecting these times.
Copy !req
1340. What are you talking about, Danny?
Copy !req
1341. Politics, man. If you're hanging
onto a rising balloon,
Copy !req
1342. you're presented with a difficult decision.
Copy !req
1343. Let go before it's too late?
Copy !req
1344. Or hang on and keep getting higher?
Copy !req
1345. Posing the question,
how long can you keep a grip on the rope?
Copy !req
1346. They're selling hippie wigs
in Woolworths, man.
Copy !req
1347. The greatest decade
in the history of mankind is over.
Copy !req
1348. And as Presuming Ed here
has so consistently pointed out,
Copy !req
1349. we have failed to paint it black.
Copy !req
1350. My dad will pick up the boxes in the week.
Copy !req
1351. And he's gonna
do something about the car.
Copy !req
1352. - Well, I'm off now, then.
- Already? But I've got us a bottle open.
Copy !req
1353. I confiscated it from Monty's supplies.
Copy !req
1354. '53 Margaux, best of the century.
Copy !req
1355. I'm sure he wouldn't resent us
a parting drink.
Copy !req
1356. I can't, Withnail.
I've got to walk to the station. I'll be late.
Copy !req
1357. - There's always time for a drink.
- No. I don't have the time.
Copy !req
1358. All right. I'll walk with you through the park.
Copy !req
1359. We can drink it on the way.
Copy !req
1360. No, no more, thank you.
Copy !req
1361. Listen, Withnail. It's a stinker,
why don't you go back?
Copy !req
1362. - Because I wanna walk you to the station.
- Well, don't. Please don't.
Copy !req
1363. I really don't want you to.
Copy !req
1364. I shall miss you, Withnail.
Copy !req
1365. I shall miss you, too.
Copy !req
1366. Chin-chin.
Copy !req
1367. "I have of late - but wherefore I know not -
Copy !req
1368. "lost all my mirth.
Copy !req
1369. "And indeed, it goes so heavily
with my disposition
Copy !req
1370. "that this goodly frame, the earth,
Copy !req
1371. "seems to me a sterile promontory.
Copy !req
1372. "It's the most excellent canopy, the air.
Copy !req
1373. "Look you, this brave
o'erhanging firmament,
Copy !req
1374. "this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,
Copy !req
1375. "why, it appeareth nothing to me
Copy !req
1376. "but a foul and pestilent
congregation of vapours.
Copy !req
1377. "What a piece of work is a man!
Copy !req
1378. "How noble in reason!
Copy !req
1379. "How infinite in faculties!
Copy !req
1380. "How like an angel in apprehension!
Copy !req
1381. "How like a God!
Copy !req
1382. "The beauty of the world!
Copy !req
1383. "The paragon of animals!
Copy !req
1384. "And yet, to me,
Copy !req
1385. "what is this quintessence of dust?
Copy !req
1386. "Man delights not me,
Copy !req
1387. "no, nor women neither.
Copy !req
1388. "Nor women neither."
Copy !req