1. Mommy's going to the
beauty parlor, darling.Copy !req
2. But I'm leaving you
with your favourite friend, Roger.Copy !req
3. He is going to take
very, very good care of you.Copy !req
4. Because if he doesn't,
he's going back to the science lab!Copy !req
5. P-p-please, don't worry.
Whatever you say.Copy !req
6. Yes, ma'am. Aye, aye, sir. Okeydokey.Copy !req
7. Why, I'll take care of him
like he was my own brother.Copy !req
8. Or my own sister. Ow!Copy !req
9. Or my brother's sister.
Or my second cousinCopy !req
10. - who is twice removed.
- Gobble. Cookie.Copy !req
11. Or my ninth cousin, who is nine times
removed from his place outside.Copy !req
12. Or like my 15th cousin, who is 16 times
removed from my mother's side.Copy !req
13. Or like my 27th cousin,
who is 37 times...Copy !req
14. - Cookie.
- ... removed from my father's side.Copy !req
15. Like my 17th cousin, who is
156 times removed from any side!Copy !req
16. Aah!Copy !req
17. I'll save you, Baby!Copy !req
18. Cookie.Copy !req
19. Don't burn yourself,
Baby Herman. Whoa!Copy !req
20. Whoa! Ah!Copy !req
21. Whoa!Copy !req
22. Whoa! Wow!Copy !req
23. Whoa!Copy !req
24. Who turned out the lights?
It's dark in here.Copy !req
25. Don't they pay their electricity?Copy !req
26. What's happened?
I'll find you, Baby. Where are you?Copy !req
27. - Where are you?
- Cookie.Copy !req
28. Where'd you go?Copy !req
29. What's that smoke?Copy !req
30. Whoa!Copy !req
31. Whoa!Copy !req
32. Whoa!Copy !req
33. Cookie.Copy !req
34. Wah!Copy !req
35. Cookie.Copy !req
36. I'm here, Baby... Aah!Copy !req
37. Wah!Copy !req
38. Cookie.Copy !req
39. Wah!Copy !req
40. Cookie. Ahh.Copy !req
41. - Cut!
- All right. That's it, guys.Copy !req
42. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!Copy !req
43. What the hell
was wrong with that take?Copy !req
44. Nothing with you, Baby Herman.
You were great. You were perfect.Copy !req
45. You were better than perfect.
It's Roger! He keeps blowing his lines!Copy !req
46. - Roger, what's this?
- A tweeting bird?Copy !req
47. "A tweeting bird?" Roger, read
the script. Look what it says!Copy !req
48. It says, "Rabbit gets clunked,
rabbit sees stars."Copy !req
49. Not birds, stars!Copy !req
50. Can we lose the playback, please?Copy !req
51. - Roger, you're killing me! Killing me!
- Cut the playback!Copy !req
52. For cryin' out loud, Roger!Copy !req
53. How many times do we have to
do this damn scene?Copy !req
54. Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, takin' a nap!Copy !req
55. - Whoa!
- Excuse me, toots.Copy !req
56. My stomach can't take this.
This set is a mess.Copy !req
57. Clean this set up! And get him out
of there, or seal him up in it!Copy !req
58. - Lose the lights! And say "lunch"!
- Lunch!Copy !req
59. That's lunch. We're on a half.Copy !req
60. P-please, Raoul. I can give you stars!Copy !req
61. Just drop the refrigerator on my head
one more time!Copy !req
62. Roger, I dropped it on your head
23 times already.Copy !req
63. - I can take it! Don't worry about me.
- I'm not worried about you.Copy !req
64. I'm worried about the refrigerator.Copy !req
65. I can give you stars. Look. Look!Copy !req
66. Look!Copy !req
67. Please, Raoul,
I can do it, I swear.Copy !req
68. Just give me another chance.
Oh, come on, Raoul.Copy !req
69. Toons.Copy !req
70. Look! Look, Raoul!
Look, Raoul!Copy !req
71. Come on, Raoul!Copy !req
72. Mr. Maroon, Mr. Valiant's here to...Copy !req
73. He'll be right with you.Copy !req
74. No, no, no!
Wait until he gets to his feet.Copy !req
75. - Then hit him with the boulder.
- Right, R.K.Copy !req
76. How much do you know
about show business, Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
77. Only there's no business like it,
no business I know.Copy !req
78. Yeah, and there's no business
more expensive.Copy !req
79. I'm 25 grand over budget on
the latest Baby Herman cartoon.Copy !req
80. You saw the rabbit blowin' his lines.Copy !req
81. He can't keep his mind on the work.
You know why?Copy !req
82. One too many refrigerators
dropped on his head?Copy !req
83. Nah, he's a Toon.Copy !req
84. You can drop anything you want
on his head. He'll shake it off.Copy !req
85. But break his heart, he goes to pieces,
just like you or me.Copy !req
86. Read that.Copy !req
87. "Seen cooing over calamari
with not-so-new sugar daddy,Copy !req
88. "was Jessica Rabbit,
wife of Maroon Cartoon star Roger."Copy !req
89. What's this got to do with me?Copy !req
90. You're the private detective.
You figure it out.Copy !req
91. Look, I don't have time for this.Copy !req
92. Look, Valiant, his wife's poison,
but he thinks she's Betty Crocker.Copy !req
93. I want you to follow her,Copy !req
94. get me a couple of nice, juicy pictures
I can wise the rabbit up with.Copy !req
95. - Forget it. I don't work Toontown.
- What's wrong with Toontown?Copy !req
96. Every Joe loves Toontown.Copy !req
97. Then get Joe to do the job,
'cause I ain't goin'.Copy !req
98. Whoa, fella.
You don't want to go to Toontown,Copy !req
99. you don't have to go to Toontown.Copy !req
100. Nobody said you had to
go to Toontown anyway.Copy !req
101. Have a seat, Valiant.Copy !req
102. The rabbit's wife sings at a joint
called the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
103. "Toon Revue."
Strictly humans only, okay?Copy !req
104. So what do you think, Valiant?Copy !req
105. Well?Copy !req
106. The job's gonna cost you
100 bucks, plus expenses.Copy !req
107. A hundred bucks?Copy !req
108. - That's ridiculous!
- So's the job.Copy !req
109. All right, all right.
You got your 100 bucks.Copy !req
110. - Have a drink, Eddie.
- I don't mind if I do.Copy !req
111. - I got it.
- Careful, Dave.Copy !req
112. - I got it!
- Dave, you're gonna drop it!Copy !req
113. - I'm not gonna drop it!
- You're droppin' it!Copy !req
114. Watch it! Oh, no! Jeez!Copy !req
115. Come on!Copy !req
116. Kind of jumpy, aren't you, Valiant?Copy !req
117. - It's just Dumbo.
- I know who it is.Copy !req
118. I got him on loan from Disney,
him and half the cast of Fantasia.Copy !req
119. The best part isCopy !req
120. they work for peanuts.Copy !req
121. Well, I don't work for peanuts.
Where's the other 50?Copy !req
122. Let's call the other 50
a carrot to finish the job.Copy !req
123. You've been hanging
around rabbits too long.Copy !req
124. Hmph!Copy !req
125. W-Whoop! Whoop!Copy !req
126. W-w-whoa!Copy !req
127. Oh, excuse me!Copy !req
128. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
129. Please, help. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
130. Get out of my way!Copy !req
131. Oh, taxi? Oh, cab?Copy !req
132. Right here! Right here!Copy !req
133. What do I look like, a bank?Copy !req
134. Wait for me!Copy !req
135. - Come on!
- Guys, wait up!Copy !req
136. - Come on, hurry up! Come on, Sig!
- Hurry up!Copy !req
137. - Hey, mister, ain't you got a car?
- Who needs a car in L.A.?Copy !req
138. We got the best public
transportation system in the world.Copy !req
139. - Hey, so long.
- See you later!Copy !req
140. - So long, mister!
- Thanks for the cigarettes.Copy !req
141. - You bet.
- Anytime.Copy !req
142. - Hi, Harry.
- Hey, Eddie. How's it going?Copy !req
143. Okay. What you got for me?Copy !req
144. The usual bills.Copy !req
145. Hey, give back my ball!Copy !req
146. Hello, fella.Copy !req
147. - Hi, Harry. Are you okay?
- Hey.Copy !req
148. What's with Earl?Copy !req
149. - Laid off?
- A new outfit bought the Red Car.Copy !req
150. Some big company called Cloverleaf.Copy !req
151. No kiddin'. They bought the Red Car?Copy !req
152. Yeah, and put the poor guy on
two weeks' notice. Cutbacks, they said.Copy !req
153. Oh, well.Copy !req
154. Here's to the pencil pushers.
May they all get lead poisoning, huh?Copy !req
155. Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know
what happens here on Friday?Copy !req
156. - Fish special?
- My boss checks the books on Friday.Copy !req
157. And if I don't have that money
I gave you back in the till,Copy !req
158. I'm gonna lose my job.Copy !req
159. Don't bust a button, Dolores.
You've only got one left.Copy !req
160. 50 bucks?Copy !req
161. Where's the rest?Copy !req
162. Well, it's only a snoop job away.Copy !req
163. You got that camera of yours?
Mine's in the shop.Copy !req
164. Wouldn't be the pawn shop
by any chance, would it?Copy !req
165. Oh, come on, Dolores.Copy !req
166. You need the other 50.
I need the camera.Copy !req
167. Any film in there?Copy !req
168. Should be.Copy !req
169. I haven't had that roll
developed since our trip to Catalina.Copy !req
170. - That sure was a long time ago.
- Yeah, that was a long time ago.Copy !req
171. - Let's do that again sometime.
- Yeah, sure, Eddie.Copy !req
172. - That paper even good?
- Just check the scrawl.Copy !req
173. R.K. Maroon, as in Maroon Cartoons?Copy !req
174. Maroon Cartoons?Copy !req
175. Hey. So who's your client,
Mr. Detective-To-The-Stars?Copy !req
176. Chilly Willy?
Or Screwy Squirrel?Copy !req
177. - What do you want to drink?
- I'll take a beer, doll.Copy !req
178. So what happened, huh?
Somebody kidnap Dinky Doodle?Copy !req
179. Cut it out, Angelo.Copy !req
180. Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. I know.Copy !req
181. You're working for Little Bo Peep.Copy !req
182. She's lost her sheep and
you're gonna help her find them.Copy !req
183. Hey?Copy !req
184. Ow!Copy !req
185. Get this straight, meatball.Copy !req
186. I don't work for Toons!Copy !req
187. So what's his problem?Copy !req
188. - A Toon killed his brother.
- What?Copy !req
189. Dropped a piano on his head.Copy !req
190. Got the password?Copy !req
191. Walt sent me.Copy !req
192. - Nice monkey suit.
- Wiseass.Copy !req
193. All right.Copy !req
194. Hey, look at that!Copy !req
195. Hey! Hey! Cut it out!Copy !req
196. Does anybody understand
what this duck is saying?Copy !req
197. - Most amusing.
- A little more wine.Copy !req
198. I've worked with a lot of wise quackers,
but you are despicable.Copy !req
199. Doggone stubborn nitwit!Copy !req
200. That did it!Copy !req
201. This is the last time I work with
someone with a speech impediment.Copy !req
202. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
203. - Whoa!
- This means war.Copy !req
204. - What, you think that's funny?
- Oh, it's a panic.Copy !req
205. You won't think it's funny
when I stick that pen up your nose.Copy !req
206. Now, calm down, son, will ya? Look,
the stain's gone. It's disappearing ink.Copy !req
207. No hard feelings, I hope.Copy !req
208. - Look, I'm... I'm...
- I know who you are.Copy !req
209. Marvin Acme, the guy that
owns Toontown. The gag king.Copy !req
210. If it's Acme, it's a gasser.Copy !req
211. Put it there, pal.Copy !req
212. The hand buzzer.
It's still our biggest seller.Copy !req
213. Scotch on the rocks.Copy !req
214. And I mean ice!Copy !req
215. This is hot stuff!Copy !req
216. Wow!Copy !req
217. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!Copy !req
218. Hey, those ducks are funny.
They never get to finish the act!Copy !req
219. Great. Thanks.Copy !req
220. - Toons.
- Cigars? Cigarettes?Copy !req
221. - Eddie Valiant!
- Betty?Copy !req
222. Long time no see.Copy !req
223. What are you doing here?Copy !req
224. Work's been kinda slow
since cartoons went to colour.Copy !req
225. But I still got it, Eddie.
Boop-boop-be-doop, boop!Copy !req
226. Yeah, you still got it.Copy !req
227. What's with him?Copy !req
228. Mr. Acme never misses a night
when Jessica performs.Copy !req
229. Got a thing for rabbits, huh?Copy !req
230. You had plenty moneyCopy !req
231. In 1922Copy !req
232. You let other womenCopy !req
233. Make a fool of youCopy !req
234. Why don't you do rightCopy !req
235. Like some other men do?Copy !req
236. Get out of hereCopy !req
237. Give me some money tooCopy !req
238. She's married to Roger Rabbit?Copy !req
239. Yeah. What a lucky girl.Copy !req
240. Now if you had preparedCopy !req
241. 20 years agoCopy !req
242. You wouldn't be wanderin' nowCopy !req
243. From door to doorCopy !req
244. Why don't you do rightCopy !req
245. Like some other men do?Copy !req
246. Get out of hereCopy !req
247. Give me some money tooCopy !req
248. Get out of hereCopy !req
249. Give me some money tooCopy !req
250. Why don't you do rightCopy !req
251. Like some other menCopy !req
252. Do?Copy !req
253. Who is it?Copy !req
254. Jessica, dear, have no fear.
Your Marvin is here.Copy !req
255. You sure murdered 'em
again tonight, baby.Copy !req
256. I really mean it.
My darling, you were superb.Copy !req
257. You absolutely, truly and honestly
"fashmolyed" that audience.Copy !req
258. You killed them. You slayed them.Copy !req
259. You belted them into little pieces.Copy !req
260. What do you think
you're doin', chump?Copy !req
261. Who are you callin' a chump, chimp?Copy !req
262. Aah!Copy !req
263. And don't let me catch your
peepin' face around here again!Copy !req
264. Got it?Copy !req
265. Ooga-booga!Copy !req
266. Come, my dear Jessica.
Come over here.Copy !req
267. I got everything arranged,
right here on the bed.Copy !req
268. Oh, not tonight, Marvin.
I have a headache.Copy !req
269. Oh, Jessica, you promised.Copy !req
270. Oh, all right.Copy !req
271. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.Copy !req
272. Patty-cake.Copy !req
273. Patty-cake.Copy !req
274. - Patty-cake. Patty-cake.
- Oh, Marvin.Copy !req
275. - Marvin! Oh!
Patty-cake.Copy !req
276. - Marvin.
- Patty-cake.Copy !req
277. - Patty-cake. Patty-cake.
- Oh, Marvin!Copy !req
278. Patty-cake! Patty-cake!
Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
279. - You gotta be kidding me.
- Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
280. Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
281. I don't believe it!Copy !req
282. Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
283. Is that true?Copy !req
284. Take comfort, son.Copy !req
285. You're not the first man whose wife
played patty-cake on him.Copy !req
286. I just don't believe it.Copy !req
287. I won't believe it. I can't believe it.Copy !req
288. I shan't believe it.Copy !req
289. Believe it, kid.Copy !req
290. I took the pictures myself.Copy !req
291. She played patty-cake.Copy !req
292. No, not my Jessica. Not patty-cake.Copy !req
293. This is impossible.
I don't believe it. It can't be!Copy !req
294. It just can't be! Jessica's my wife!Copy !req
295. It's absolutely impossible!Copy !req
296. Jessica's the light of my life,Copy !req
297. the apple of my eye,
the cream in my coffee!Copy !req
298. You better start drinking it black,
'cause Acme's taking the cream now.Copy !req
299. Hard to believe. Marvin Acme's been
my friend and neighbour for 30 years.Copy !req
300. Who would've thought
he was a sugar daddy?Copy !req
301. Somebody must have
made her do it!Copy !req
302. Now drink this, son.
It'll make you feel better.Copy !req
303. Aah!Copy !req
304. Aah!Copy !req
305. Thanks. I needed that.Copy !req
306. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
307. Look, Mr. Maroon.Copy !req
308. I think my work here is finished.Copy !req
309. How about that carrot
you owe me, huh?Copy !req
310. - A deal's a deal.
- Great.Copy !req
311. Thanks. Phew.Copy !req
312. Roger, I know all this
seems pretty painful now,Copy !req
313. but you'll find someone new.Copy !req
314. - Won't he, Mr. Valiant?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
315. Good-looking guy like that.Copy !req
316. The dames will be
breaking his door down.Copy !req
317. Dames? What dames?Copy !req
318. Jessica is the only one for me!Copy !req
319. You'll see! We'll rise above
this piddling peccadillo!Copy !req
320. We're going to be happy again!Copy !req
321. You got that? Happy.
Capital H-A-P-P-I...Copy !req
322. Well, at least he took it well.Copy !req
323. Oh, Jessica!Copy !req
324. Please tell me it's not true.Copy !req
325. P-p-please!Copy !req
326. Oh, Lieutenant Santino.Copy !req
327. Where'd you come from?Copy !req
328. Gee whiz, Eddie. If you needed money
so bad, why didn't you come to me?Copy !req
329. So I took a couple of
dirty pictures. So kill me.Copy !req
330. I already got a stiff
on my hands, thank you.Copy !req
331. Huh?Copy !req
332. Marvin Acme.Copy !req
333. The rabbit cacked him last night.Copy !req
334. What?Copy !req
335. Now what?Copy !req
336. It's just I haven't been this close
to Toontown for a while.Copy !req
337. Yeeow!Copy !req
338. Oof, oof, oof! Ow!Copy !req
339. My biscuits are burnin'!
Fire in the hatch! Ow! Ooh!Copy !req
340. Eee! Great horny toads, that smarts!Copy !req
341. Come on, Eddie.
Let's get this over with.Copy !req
342. I didn't see anything.Copy !req
343. Maybe you heard a noise or something.Copy !req
344. - He's with me.
- Nothin'.Copy !req
345. - Are you sure?
- Come on, kid.Copy !req
346. Are you sure you didn't see anything?Copy !req
347. - What about you, fella?
- I didn't see anything.Copy !req
348. - I came in to work.
- Come on, Lieutenant.Copy !req
349. Just like a Toon to drop
a safe on a guy's head.Copy !req
350. Sorry, Eddie.Copy !req
351. You better wait here, all right?Copy !req
352. You got a positive I.D.?Copy !req
353. Must be.Copy !req
354. Hey, Chisold, get a load of this.Copy !req
355. You've seen one of these?Copy !req
356. - Yeah.
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
357. Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant?Copy !req
358. Or did you change your name
to Jack Daniels?Copy !req
359. - What's that?
- Paint from the rabbit's glove.Copy !req
360. Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
361. I hope you're proud of yourselfCopy !req
362. and those pictures you took.Copy !req
363. For crying out loud, Mike!
Hey, we need a little help over here!Copy !req
364. Hey, somebody grab those loafers!Copy !req
365. Hey, Mike, come here!Copy !req
366. Oh, oh! Oh.Copy !req
367. I got these. Come on. Come on.
Those shoes over there.Copy !req
368. Ow.Copy !req
369. Is this man removing evidence
from the scene of a crime?Copy !req
370. Uh, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here
was just pickin' it up for you.Copy !req
371. Weren't you, Eddie?Copy !req
372. - Hand it over.
- Sure.Copy !req
373. His number-one seller.Copy !req
374. I see working for a Toon
has rubbed off on you.Copy !req
375. I wasn't working for a Toon.
I was working for R.K. Maroon.Copy !req
376. Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon.Copy !req
377. He told us the rabbit
became quite agitatedCopy !req
378. when you showed him the pictures.Copy !req
379. The rabbit said, one way or another,
he and his wife were going to be happy.Copy !req
380. Is that true?Copy !req
381. Hey, pal, do I look like a stenographer?Copy !req
382. Shut your yap, Eddie.
The man's in charge.Copy !req
383. That's all right, Lieutenant.
From the smell of him,Copy !req
384. I'd say it was the booze talking.Copy !req
385. No matter. The rabbit won't get far.
My men will find him.Copy !req
386. Look out!Copy !req
387. - Weasels?
- Yes.Copy !req
388. I find they have
a special gift for the work.Copy !req
389. All right, ya mugs. Fall out.Copy !req
390. - Did you find the rabbit?
- Don't worry, Judge.Copy !req
391. We've got "deformants"
all over the city. We'll find him.Copy !req
392. You wouldn't have any idea where
the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
393. Have you tried Walla Walla?
Cucamonga?Copy !req
394. I hear Kokomo's very nice
this time of the year.Copy !req
395. I'm surprised you're not
more cooperative, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
396. A human has been
murdered by a Toon.Copy !req
397. Don't you appreciate
the magnitude of that?Copy !req
398. Since I've had Toontown
under my jurisdiction,Copy !req
399. my goal has been
to reign in the insanity.Copy !req
400. And the only way to do that is
to make Toons respect the law.Copy !req
401. How did that gargoyle get to be a judge?Copy !req
402. He spread a bunch of simoleons
around Toontown a couple years back,Copy !req
403. bought the election.Copy !req
404. Yeah? What's that?Copy !req
405. Remember how we always thoughtCopy !req
406. there wasn't a way to kill a Toon?Copy !req
407. - Yeah.
- Well, Doom found a way.Copy !req
408. Turpentine, acetone, benzene.Copy !req
409. - He calls it "the dip."
I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
410. Then I'll try him, convict himCopy !req
411. and execute him.Copy !req
412. Gee.Copy !req
413. That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?Copy !req
414. They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
415. But this is how we handle things
down in Toontown.Copy !req
416. I'd think you, of all people,
would appreciate that.Copy !req
417. La, la, la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
418. Uh... Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey!Copy !req
419. La, la, la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
420. I've been tryin' to make him quit,
but he just won't listen to me.Copy !req
421. What do you know, you dumb broad?
You got the I.Q. of a rattle.Copy !req
422. - You Valiant?
- Yeah.Copy !req
423. I wanna talk to you about
the Acme murder. Hey, psst, doll.Copy !req
424. Why don't you run downstairs
and get me a racin' form?Copy !req
425. Ooh! Okay, okay. I'm goin'.Copy !req
426. The lady's man, huh?Copy !req
427. My problem is I got a 50-year-old lust
in a 3-year-old dinky.Copy !req
428. Yeah, must be tough.Copy !req
429. Look, Valiant,
the rabbit didn't kill Acme.Copy !req
430. He's not a murderer. I should know.
He's a dear friend of mine.Copy !req
431. I tell ya, Valiant, the whole thing
stinks like yesterday's diapers.Copy !req
432. Look at this.
The paper said Acme left no will.Copy !req
433. That's a load of succotash.
Every Toon knows Acme had a will.Copy !req
434. He promised to leave Toontown
to us Toons.Copy !req
435. That will is the reason
he got bumped off.Copy !req
436. Has anybody ever seen this will?Copy !req
437. Uh, no, but he gave us his solemn oath.Copy !req
438. If you believe that that joker could do
anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.Copy !req
439. I just figured since you were the one
who got my pal in trouble,Copy !req
440. you might want to help get him out.Copy !req
441. I can pay you.Copy !req
442. Save your money for a pair
of elevator shoes!Copy !req
443. Wait, no! Valiant, no! Oh, my stogie!Copy !req
444. Wah!Copy !req
445. Wah!Copy !req
446. Wah!Copy !req
447. It ain't my fault the rabbit
got himself in trouble.Copy !req
448. All I did was take
a couple of lousy pictures.Copy !req
449. Baby was right.Copy !req
450. The hell with it.Copy !req
451. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
452. - How the hell did you get in here?
- Through the mail slot.Copy !req
453. I thought it would be best
if I waited inside,Copy !req
454. seein' as how I'm wanted for murder!Copy !req
455. No kiddin'. Just talkin' to you could
get me a rap for aiding and abetting.Copy !req
456. Wait a minute.
Anybody know you're here?Copy !req
457. Nobody. Not a soul except, uh...Copy !req
458. - Who?
- Well, you see...Copy !req
459. I didn't know where your office was,
so I asked the newsboy.Copy !req
460. He didn't know, so I asked
the fireman, the green grocer,Copy !req
461. the butcher, the baker.
They didn't know.Copy !req
462. But the liquor store guy, he knew.Copy !req
463. In other words, the whole
damn town knows you're here!Copy !req
464. - Get out of here! Come on. Out!
- Hey, take it easy, will ya?Copy !req
465. - Out! Get out! Come on.
- Please, Eddie, don't throw me out!Copy !req
466. - You're making a big mistake!
- Get out of here!Copy !req
467. - I didn't kill anybody! I swear!
- Let go of that door, will ya?Copy !req
468. This whole thing's a setup,
a scam, a frame job. Ow!Copy !req
469. Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. Ow!Copy !req
470. My whole purpose in lifeCopy !req
471. is to make peopleCopy !req
472. laugh!Copy !req
473. Okay, okay. Sure, I admit it.Copy !req
474. I got a little steamed when you
showed me those pictures of Jessica,Copy !req
475. so I rushed over
to the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
476. But she wasn't in her dressing room,
so I wrote her a love letter.Copy !req
477. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
478. You're telling me, in a fit of jealousy,
you wrote your wife a love letter?Copy !req
479. That's right. I know that she was
just an innocent victim of circumstance.Copy !req
480. I suppose you used the old lipstick
on the mirror routine, huh?Copy !req
481. Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no.Copy !req
482. I found a nice, clean piece of paper.Copy !req
483. "Dear Jessica, how do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.Copy !req
484. "One-one thousand, two-one thousand,
three-one thousand..."Copy !req
485. Why didn't you just leave
the letter there?Copy !req
486. Obviously, a poem of this power
and sensitivity must...Copy !req
487. Aah!Copy !req
488. be read in person,
so I went home to wait for her.Copy !req
489. But the weasels were there,
waiting for me.Copy !req
490. So... So I ran.Copy !req
491. So why come to me? I'm the guy
that took the pictures of your wife.Copy !req
492. Yeah, and you're also the guy
that helped all these Toons.Copy !req
493. Everybody knows,
when a Toon's in trouble,Copy !req
494. there's only one place to go,
Valiant and Valiant.Copy !req
495. Not anymore.Copy !req
496. Get out of that chair!Copy !req
497. - That's my brother's chair.
- Yeah. Where is your brother anyway?Copy !req
498. He looks like a sensitive
and sober fellow.Copy !req
499. - That's it. I'm callin' the cops.
- Go ahead. Call the cops.Copy !req
500. I come here for help,
and what do you do?Copy !req
501. You turn me in.
No, no, don't feel guilty about me.Copy !req
502. So long, and thanks for nothin'.Copy !req
503. That's the closet! Stupe.Copy !req
504. Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest.Copy !req
505. Get out!Copy !req
506. - Idiot. I got no keys for these cuffs.
- Huh?Copy !req
507. Yah!Copy !req
508. Come on. Get the lead out.
Move it, would ya? Move it!Copy !req
509. Yah! It's the Toon Patrol!Copy !req
510. Hide me, Eddie. P-p-please!Copy !req
511. - Remember. You never saw me.
- Get out of there!Copy !req
512. Don't let 'em find me!Copy !req
513. Come on, Eddie. You're my only hope.Copy !req
514. Open up in the name of the law!Copy !req
515. - That's us.
- P-p-please, Eddie.Copy !req
516. You know there's no justice
for Toons anymore.Copy !req
517. - If the weasels get their hands on me...
- Are you in there?Copy !req
518. - I'm as good as dipped.
- Don't make us play rough, Valiant.Copy !req
519. We just want the rabbit.Copy !req
520. What are we gonna do, Eddie?
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
521. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
522. What's all this "we" stuff?
They just want the rabbit.Copy !req
523. It looks like they gave us
the slip, huh, boss?Copy !req
524. Nah. Valiant's got him
stashed somewhere.Copy !req
525. Hold it right there.Copy !req
526. Hello, boys. I didn't hear you come in.Copy !req
527. Okay, wise guy. Where's the rabbit?Copy !req
528. I haven't seen him.Copy !req
529. - What's in there?
- My lingerie.Copy !req
530. Sheesh, Valiant.Copy !req
531. Search the place, boys.Copy !req
532. And leave no stone unturned.Copy !req
533. Look, Valiant, we got a reliable
tip-off the rabbit was here,Copy !req
534. and it was "corrugated"
by several others.Copy !req
535. So cut the "bullshtick."Copy !req
536. You keep talkin' like that, and
I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out.Copy !req
537. Stop that laughin'!Copy !req
538. Stop that laughin'!Copy !req
539. You know what happens
when ya can't stop laughin'!Copy !req
540. One of these days,
you're gonna die laughin'.Copy !req
541. As for you, Valiant, step out of line,Copy !req
542. and we'll hang you and your laundryCopy !req
543. out to dry.Copy !req
544. Come on, boys. Let's "am-scray."Copy !req
545. - They're gone.
- Jeepers, Eddie, that was swell.Copy !req
546. You saved my life.
How can I ever repay ya?Copy !req
547. Blecch! For starters,
don't ever kiss me again!Copy !req
548. Stop kicking me. Stop kicking me.Copy !req
549. Dolores. Dolores!Copy !req
550. Dolores!Copy !req
551. Hey, Eddie, you made
the front page today.Copy !req
552. - Yeah, I guess I made some ink.
- And what ink.Copy !req
553. Come on, Eddie. Just let's go. Please!Copy !req
554. So tell me, Eddie.
Is that a rabbit in your pocket,Copy !req
555. or are you just happy to see me?Copy !req
556. Cut the comedy, Dolores.
I've had a very hard day.Copy !req
557. - I gotta get out of these cuffs.
- Oh, swell.Copy !req
558. Whew!Copy !req
559. Jeepers, Eddie,
that almost killed me!Copy !req
560. Ow.Copy !req
561. Boy, what is this?
Some kind of a secret room?Copy !req
562. It's a rotgut room.
A holdover from Prohibition.Copy !req
563. Oh, I get it. A speakeasy,
a gin mill, a hooch parlour.Copy !req
564. - Tools are up here, Eddie.
- Look at this!Copy !req
565. - Aah!
- It's a spy hole!Copy !req
566. Jeepers, Eddie!
This would be a great place to hide!Copy !req
567. - Crazy Toon. Oof!
- Watch your head!Copy !req
568. I thought you said
you'd never take another Toon case.Copy !req
569. - What'd you have, a change of heart?
- Nothing's changed.Copy !req
570. Somebody's made a patsy out of me,
and I'm going to find out why.Copy !req
571. Hold still, will ya?Copy !req
572. - Does this help?
- Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
573. You mean to tell me thatCopy !req
574. you could have taken your hand
out of that cuff at any time?Copy !req
575. No, not at any time.
Only when it was funny.Copy !req
576. Get out!Copy !req
577. Come on, Eddie.
Where's your sense of humour?Copy !req
578. He always this funny, or only on days
when he's wanted for murder?Copy !req
579. Listen, my philosophy is this.Copy !req
580. If you don't have a good sense
of humour, you're better off dead.Copy !req
581. You just may get your wish unless
I can figure out what happened to this.Copy !req
582. - What is it, Eddie?
- Just look at it.Copy !req
583. - Mr. Acme's will.
- Yeah.Copy !req
584. And I think Maroon
played the part of sound mindCopy !req
585. and your wife the sound body.Copy !req
586. Why, I resent that innuendo!Copy !req
587. - What's the scheme, Eddie?
- I don't think they got to the will.Copy !req
588. But how do you know?Copy !req
589. Because they were still looking
for it after they killed him.Copy !req
590. Anything I can do?Copy !req
591. Maybe you can go downtown
and check the probate.Copy !req
592. Yeah, check the probate!Copy !req
593. Why, my Uncle Thumper
had a problem with his probate,Copy !req
594. and he had to take these big pills
and drink lots of water.Copy !req
595. - Not prostate, you idiot. Probate!
- Let me get this straight.Copy !req
596. You think that my boss, R.K. MaroonCopy !req
597. dropped a safe on Marvin Acme's headCopy !req
598. so that he could get
his hands on Toontown?Copy !req
599. Yeah.Copy !req
600. That's my hunch.Copy !req
601. Uh, can he stay here
for a couple of days?Copy !req
602. He's not gonna do
anything crazy, is he?Copy !req
603. - Where are you going?
- Back to the office.Copy !req
604. Mr. Valiant. Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
605. You've got the wrong idea
about me, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
606. I'm a pawn in this, just like Roger.Copy !req
607. Can you help me find him?
Just name your price and I'll pay it.Copy !req
608. Yeah, I bet you would.Copy !req
609. You've gotta have the rabbit
to make the scam work.Copy !req
610. No, no, no. I love my husband.
You've got me all wrong.Copy !req
611. You don't know how hard it is
being a womanCopy !req
612. looking the way I do.Copy !req
613. Yeah, well.Copy !req
614. You don't know how hard
it is being a manCopy !req
615. looking at a woman,
looking the way you do.Copy !req
616. I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.Copy !req
617. Weren't you the one I caught playing
patty-cake with old man Acme?Copy !req
618. You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant.
You were set up to take those pictures.Copy !req
619. - What are you talking about?
- Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme.Copy !req
620. I didn't want to have anything
to do with it,Copy !req
621. but he said if I didn't
pose for those patty-cake pictures,Copy !req
622. Roger would never work
in this town again.Copy !req
623. I couldn't let that happen.Copy !req
624. I'd do anything
for my husband, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
625. - Anything.
- What a wife.Copy !req
626. I'm desperate, Mr. Valiant.
Can't you see how much I need you?Copy !req
627. Dabblin' in watercolours, Eddie?Copy !req
628. Well.Copy !req
629. Sorry.Copy !req
630. Good-bye, Eddie. My offer stands firm.Copy !req
631. Think about it.Copy !req
632. Well!Copy !req
633. Do you want to tell me what she was
doing with her arms around you?Copy !req
634. Probably lookin' for
a good place to stick a knife.Copy !req
635. Come on, Eddie.
I caught you with your pants down!Copy !req
636. Yeah, but I... Dolores, come...Copy !req
637. Come on, Dolores.Copy !req
638. You don't believe a painted hussy
like that could turn my head.Copy !req
639. She's just trying to get
her hands on the rabbit.Copy !req
640. That's not all she's trying
to get her hands on.Copy !req
641. Now, look, Dolores, listen.
Listen to me.Copy !req
642. Look, I want you to go out, I want you
to buy yourself a new swim suit,Copy !req
643. 'cause you and me
are going to Catalina.Copy !req
644. I'm on the verge
of wrappin' up this case.Copy !req
645. No, you're not, Eddie.Copy !req
646. That's what I came to tell you.
I stopped by Probate.Copy !req
647. Maroon's not after Toontown
like you thought.Copy !req
648. It's Cloverleaf that wants
to get their hands on Toontown.Copy !req
649. They put in the highest bid.Copy !req
650. And unless Mr. Acme's will
shows up by midnight tonight,Copy !req
651. Cloverleaf is gonna own Toontown.Copy !req
652. - What? At midnight tonight?
- That's right.Copy !req
653. First they buy the Red Car, then they
want to get their hands on Toontown.Copy !req
654. - I don't get it.
- Shh!Copy !req
655. Yes!Copy !req
656. Roger!Copy !req
657. The rabbit. Get the judge.Copy !req
658. A joke don't sit there on your brainCopy !req
659. Nice shirt.Copy !req
660. Who's your tailor, Quasimodo?Copy !req
661. My buddy's Eddie V
A sourpuss, you'll seeCopy !req
662. But when I'm done he'll need no gun
'cause a joker he will beCopy !req
663. C, D, E, F, GCopy !req
664. H, I... I would love
to raise some CainCopy !req
665. Believe me, it's no strain
It feels so great 'cause I'm so tightCopy !req
666. And look, there is no painCopy !req
667. No pain. No pain. No painCopy !req
668. Ow!Copy !req
669. No pain. No pain. No...Copy !req
670. - No!
- Hey, wait!Copy !req
671. Yah!Copy !req
672. Hey, who turned out the lights?Copy !req
673. I can't see a thing! What's goin' on?Copy !req
674. You crazy rabbit!Copy !req
675. I've been out there risking my neck
for you, and what are you doin'?Copy !req
676. Singin' and dancin'!Copy !req
677. But I'm a Toon. Toons
are supposed to make people laugh.Copy !req
678. Sit down!Copy !req
679. You don't understand.
Those people needed to laugh.Copy !req
680. Yeah, and when they're done laughin',
they'll call the cops!Copy !req
681. That guy Angelo would
rat on you for a nickel.Copy !req
682. Not Angelo! He'd never turn me in.Copy !req
683. Why? Because you made him laugh?Copy !req
684. That's right.
A laugh can be a very powerful thing.Copy !req
685. Why, sometimes in life,
it's the only weapon we have.Copy !req
686. - Laughter is the most...
- Shh.Copy !req
687. "Ix-nay."Ix-nay."Copy !req
688. I'm looking for a murderer.Copy !req
689. A rabbit.Copy !req
690. A Toon rabbit.Copy !req
691. About yea big.Copy !req
692. Look.Copy !req
693. There's no rabbit here,
so don't harass my customers.Copy !req
694. I didn't come here to harass.
I came here to reward.Copy !req
695. Hey. I seen a rabbit.Copy !req
696. Where?Copy !req
697. See?Copy !req
698. - Where?
- He's right here in the bar.Copy !req
699. Say "hello," Harvey.Copy !req
700. I told you so.Copy !req
701. The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.Copy !req
702. Quite a loony selection
for a group of drunken reprobates.Copy !req
703. He's here!Copy !req
704. Stop that laughing!Copy !req
705. Have you forgotten
what happened last time?Copy !req
706. If you don't stop this laughing,
you're gonna end up dead,Copy !req
707. just like your idiot hyena cousins!Copy !req
708. Say, boss, you want we should
"disresemble" the place?Copy !req
709. No, Sergeant. Disassembling
the place won't be necessary.Copy !req
710. The rabbit is going to come right to me.Copy !req
711. Gee.Copy !req
712. No Toon can resist
the old Shave and a Haircut trick.Copy !req
713. I don't know who's toonier,
you or Doom.Copy !req
714. Roger!Copy !req
715. Ro... Roger.Copy !req
716. Roger, no!Copy !req
717. Roger, don't...Copy !req
718. Shave and a haircutCopy !req
719. Two bitsCopy !req
720. Hey, Judge, what should we do
with the wallflower?Copy !req
721. We'll see to him later.Copy !req
722. Right now I feel like
dispensing some justice.Copy !req
723. Bring me some dip.Copy !req
724. Aah!Copy !req
725. Does the condemned have anything to
say before his sentence is carried out?Copy !req
726. Why, yeah. I...Copy !req
727. Wah!Copy !req
728. Dolores, a bourbon,
and make it a double.Copy !req
729. A fine time for a drink, Eddie.Copy !req
730. Maybe you'd like a bowl
of pretzels to go with it!Copy !req
731. Pour the drink, Dolores.Copy !req
732. Hey, Judge!Copy !req
733. Doesn't a dying rabbit
deserve a last request?Copy !req
734. Yeah! Nose plugs would be nice.Copy !req
735. I think you want a drink.Copy !req
736. - How 'bout it, Judge?
- Well, why not.Copy !req
737. I don't mind prolonging the execution.Copy !req
738. Happy trails.Copy !req
739. No, thanks, Eddie.
I'm tryin' to cut down.Copy !req
740. - Drink the drink!
- But I don't want the drink.Copy !req
741. He doesn't want the drink.Copy !req
742. - He does! You do!
- I don't!Copy !req
743. - I don't! I don't!
- You do!Copy !req
744. - You do! You don't.
- I don't!Copy !req
745. - I do!
- You don't!Copy !req
746. - I do!
- You don't!Copy !req
747. Listen, when I say "I do,"
that means I do!Copy !req
748. Aah!Copy !req
749. Come on.Copy !req
750. Gotcha, kid.Copy !req
751. Come on, Eddie, let's get out of here!Copy !req
752. Move it, pops! Yikes!Copy !req
753. That was quick thinkin', Eddie.
Nothing like using the old spine flower,Copy !req
754. - the wise noodle, the smart puddin'.
- Roger!Copy !req
755. - Yikes! Stop, will ya?
- Let's use this!Copy !req
756. Yah!Copy !req
757. Let's get out of here!
What are you waitin' for?Copy !req
758. There's no damn key!Copy !req
759. Hey, you weasels, let me out of here,
will ya? Come on!Copy !req
760. - I've got to make a livin'!
- Benny, is that you?Copy !req
761. No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt.
Come on, Roger! Get me out of here!Copy !req
762. Eddie, we got ourselves a ride!
Open the doors!Copy !req
763. - Whoo!
- Ah, that's better.Copy !req
764. I can't believe they locked me up
for driving on the sidewalk.Copy !req
765. Come on, Eddie. Get in!Copy !req
766. - It was just a couple of miles.
- I'll drive!Copy !req
767. - But I wanna drive!
- No, I'll drive!Copy !req
768. I'm the cab. Out of my way, pencil neck!Copy !req
769. How about this weather, huh?Copy !req
770. - It never rains!
- Would you beat it!Copy !req
771. They've sprung the cab! Let's go!Copy !req
772. And how about those
Brooklyn Dodgers?Copy !req
773. Are they bums, or what?Copy !req
774. Move over. I'm drivin'!Copy !req
775. Benny, Eddie, we got company!Copy !req
776. Will you look at these two?
Excuse me, ladies!Copy !req
777. Now that's what I call
a couple of road hogs.Copy !req
778. - I'm gonna blow his head off.
- Benny, look out for the Red Car!Copy !req
779. Whoa!Copy !req
780. Benny,
there's cops right behind us!Copy !req
781. Not for long, Roger.Copy !req
782. - No!
- Now they're right in front of us.Copy !req
783. Eddie, we're goin' backwards.
Turn us around.Copy !req
784. Give me the wheel. Give me the wheel!Copy !req
785. - The cops are still on our tail!
- I know the cops are on our tail!Copy !req
786. What do you think I am? Benny!Copy !req
787. No. No!Copy !req
788. Pull the lever!Copy !req
789. - Which one?
- Which one?Copy !req
790. Which one?Copy !req
791. I'm gonna ram 'em.Copy !req
792. What the heck?Copy !req
793. Whoa!Copy !req
794. I'm gettin' too old for this!Copy !req
795. Aah!Copy !req
796. Jumpin' jeepers!Copy !req
797. Hey, Roger, what do you call
the middle of a song?Copy !req
798. - Gee, I don't know. A bridge!
- Aah!Copy !req
799. - Well, fellas, where can I drop ya?
- Yeah. Somewhere we can hide.Copy !req
800. I got just the place. And incidentally,Copy !req
801. if you should ever need a ride,
just stick out your thumb.Copy !req
802. Hey, share the road, will ya, lady?Copy !req
803. Ah, well, that wasn't so bad, was it?Copy !req
804. Boy, did you see that?
Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy.Copy !req
805. What timing, what finesse!
What a genius!Copy !req
806. Ouch!Copy !req
807. We're supposed to be hiding.
What's wrong with you?Copy !req
808. Ow. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
809. You're the only person
in this theatre that isn't laughing.Copy !req
810. Is there nothing that can permeate
your impervious puss?Copy !req
811. Hey, Eddie! Boy, nothin'.Copy !req
812. What could've possibly happened to
you to turn you into such a sourpuss?Copy !req
813. You want to know? I'll tell you.Copy !req
814. - A Toon killed my brother.
- A Toon? No.Copy !req
815. That's right. A Toon.Copy !req
816. We were investigating a robbery at
the First National Bank of Toontown.Copy !req
817. Back in those days, me and Teddy
liked working Toontown.Copy !req
818. We thought it was a lot of laughs.Copy !req
819. Anyway, this guyCopy !req
820. got away with a zillion simoleons.Copy !req
821. We trailed him to a little dive
down on Yockster Street.Copy !req
822. We went in.Copy !req
823. Only he got the drop on us, literally.Copy !req
824. Dropped a piano on us from 15 stories.Copy !req
825. Broke my arm.Copy !req
826. Teddy never made it.Copy !req
827. I never did find out who that guy was.Copy !req
828. All I remember was,Copy !req
829. he was standin' over me, laughin',Copy !req
830. with those burnin' red eyesCopy !req
831. and that high, squeaky voice.Copy !req
832. He disappeared
into Toontown after that.Copy !req
833. No wonder you hate me.Copy !req
834. If a Toon killed my brother,
I'd hate me too!Copy !req
835. Come on, don't cry. I don't hate you.Copy !req
836. - Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.Copy !req
837. You do hate me.Copy !req
838. Otherwise you wouldn't have
yanked my ears all those times.Copy !req
839. Well, I'm sorry I yanked your ears.Copy !req
840. All the times you yanked my ears?Copy !req
841. - All the times I yanked your ears.
- Apology accepted.Copy !req
842. Put 'er there, pal. I feel better. Oh, boy!Copy !req
843. I hope it's another cartoon!Copy !req
844. Jeepers, another stupid newsreel.Copy !req
845. I hate the news.Copy !req
846. - Did you get all my stuff?
- Yes.Copy !req
847. It's all packed up in the car outside.Copy !req
848. Would have been here right after you
called, but I had to shake the weasels.Copy !req
849. Yeah. I'm sorry about
the trouble in the bar.Copy !req
850. Oh, hell. Stuffing olives
for a living wasn't for me anyway.Copy !req
851. Dolores?Copy !req
852. You oughta find yourself a good man.Copy !req
853. But I already have a good man.Copy !req
854. P-p-please, don't mind me.Copy !req
855. You better get going, Eddie.Copy !req
856. A near miss, but this
miss says that's as good as a smile.Copy !req
857. California Cloverleaf...Copy !req
858. Glad Teddy's not here
to see me running awayCopy !req
859. with my tail between my legs.Copy !req
860. It's not so bad
once you get used to it.Copy !req
861. The Pacific Red Car trolley lineCopy !req
862. and the venerated
Maroon Cartoon Studios.Copy !req
863. Here, R.K. Maroon is seen
clinching the dealCopy !req
864. with Cloverleaf's bankers and execsCopy !req
865. in one of the biggest real estate deals
ever in California history.Copy !req
866. - That's it!
- Three-and-a-half million dollars...Copy !req
867. That's the connection!Copy !req
868. Let's forget it.
There's nobody here.Copy !req
869. - Is that it, or are you scared?
- P-p-please! Me, scared?Copy !req
870. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
871. When you called Maroon, you told him
you had the will, but you don't.Copy !req
872. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad.Copy !req
873. He might try to kill ya.Copy !req
874. I can handle a Hollywood cream puff.
I just don't want the odds to change.Copy !req
875. Now, you cover my back.Copy !req
876. And if you hear or see anything,
beep the horn twice.Copy !req
877. Yeah, that's it. Beep the horn twice.
Cover your back.Copy !req
878. Boy, I'm ready. Dukes up,
eyes peeled, ears to the ground.Copy !req
879. Why, nobody gets the drop
on Roger Rabbit.Copy !req
880. - Aah!
- What's up, Doc?Copy !req
881. Valiant, what are you trying to do,
give me a heart attack?Copy !req
882. You need a heart
before you can have an attack.Copy !req
883. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the will?Copy !req
884. Sure. I got the will.Copy !req
885. The question is, do you have the way?Copy !req
886. 'Cause I can tell you now,
it ain't gonna come cheap.Copy !req
887. You got a lot of brass
coming up here by yourself.Copy !req
888. Who said I'm here by myself?Copy !req
889. Let me see that will.Copy !req
890. - I told you, I got it.
- I want to see it now!Copy !req
891. "How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways"?Copy !req
892. - This supposed to be a joke?
- No, this is.Copy !req
893. Get up! Come on.Copy !req
894. What are you gonna
do to me, Valiant?Copy !req
895. I'm gonna listen to you
spin the Cloverleaf scenario.Copy !req
896. A story of greed, sex and murder.Copy !req
897. And the parts that I don't like,
I'm gonna edit out.Copy !req
898. You got it all wrong!
I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer!Copy !req
899. Everybody's got to have a hobby.Copy !req
900. Oh, stop it. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
901. The truth is, I had a chance
to sell my studio,Copy !req
902. but Cloverleaf wouldn't buy my property
unless Acme sold them his.Copy !req
903. The stubborn bastard wouldn't sell,Copy !req
904. so I was gonna blackmail Acme with
pictures of him and the rabbit's wife.Copy !req
905. Blackmail, that's all!
I've been around Toons all my life!Copy !req
906. - I didn't want to see 'em destroyed!
- Toons destroyed? Why?Copy !req
907. - If I tell ya, I'm a dead man.
- You're a dead man if you don't tell me.Copy !req
908. Unless Acme's will shows
by midnight tonight,Copy !req
909. Toontown's going to be
live for the free... Aah!Copy !req
910. Roger!Copy !req
911. - What the...
- Yeah, what in Sam Hill...Copy !req
912. Eddie Valiant!
Well, you're a sight for sore eyes!Copy !req
913. I ain't seen you in nigh on to five years.Copy !req
914. - Where've you been?
- Drunk.Copy !req
915. - You feeling frisky tonight, fellas?
- Yeah!Copy !req
916. Let's go.Copy !req
917. Yahoo!Copy !req
918. Smile, darn ya, smileCopy !req
919. You know, this old world
is a great world after allCopy !req
920. Smile, darn ya, smileCopy !req
921. And right away watch lady luck
pay you a callCopy !req
922. Things are never black
as they are paintedCopy !req
923. Time for you and joy to get acquaintedCopy !req
924. Hi, Eddie!Copy !req
925. Hi, Eddie! Hi, Eddie! Bye, Eddie!Copy !req
926. Tallyho! Tallyho!Copy !req
927. Get out of here!Copy !req
928. Going up, sir.Copy !req
929. Yah!Copy !req
930. Mind the step, sir.Copy !req
931. Hold on, sir.Copy !req
932. Yah!Copy !req
933. Your floor, sir.Copy !req
934. Have a good day, sir.Copy !req
935. Ah. Gotcha.Copy !req
936. A man!Copy !req
937. Yoo-hoo, lover boy! It's Lena Hyena!Copy !req
938. Aah!Copy !req
939. Oh, no!Copy !req
940. Aah!Copy !req
941. - Oh, "wook," piggies.
- Hi, Tweety.Copy !req
942. This "wittle" piggy went to market.
This "wittle" piggy stayed home.Copy !req
943. - No.
- This "wittle" piggy had roast beef.Copy !req
944. - And this "wittle" piggy had...
- Aah!Copy !req
945. Uh-oh. Ran out of piggies.Copy !req
946. Yah!Copy !req
947. Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumpin' without
a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?Copy !req
948. Yeah.Copy !req
949. Yeah. You could get killed.Copy !req
950. - You guys got a spare?
- Uh, Bugs does.Copy !req
951. - Yeah?
- Yeah, but I don't think you want it.Copy !req
952. - I do! I do! Give it to me!
- Gee, better let him have it, Bugs.Copy !req
953. Okay, Doc. Whatever you say.
Here's the spare.Copy !req
954. Thank you.Copy !req
955. Ah, no! Ahh!Copy !req
956. - Ah, poor fella. Ha, ha.
- Yeah. Ain't I a stinker?Copy !req
957. Aah!Copy !req
958. My man!Copy !req
959. Come to Lena!Copy !req
960. Ooh!Copy !req
961. Toons. Gets 'em every time.Copy !req
962. - Gesundheit.
- Thank you.Copy !req
963. Valiant?Copy !req
964. I always knew I'd get it in Toontown.Copy !req
965. Behind you!Copy !req
966. Drop it, lady!Copy !req
967. I just saved your life,
and you still don't trust me?Copy !req
968. - I don't trust anybody or anything!
- Not even your own eyes?Copy !req
969. That's the gun that killed R.K. Maroon,
and Doom pulled the trigger.Copy !req
970. - Doom?
- I followed him to the studio,Copy !req
971. but I was too late to stop him.Copy !req
972. That's right!
You'll never stop me!Copy !req
973. - You're dead! You're both dead!
- Doom!Copy !req
974. - Which way'd he go?
- Well, I don't know.Copy !req
975. - Well, he went that-a-way.
- Let's go!Copy !req
976. Dum-dums.Copy !req
977. - Come on.
- Yeah.Copy !req
978. - Oh, no. Where's Roger?
- Roger?Copy !req
979. He chickened out on me
back at the studio.Copy !req
980. No, he didn't.Copy !req
981. I hit him on the head with a frying pan
and put him in the trunkCopy !req
982. so he wouldn't get hurt.Copy !req
983. Makes perfect sense.Copy !req
984. We're obviously not
going anywhere in my car.Copy !req
985. Let's take yours.Copy !req
986. I got a feeling somebody already did.Copy !req
987. From the looks of it,
I'd say it was Roger.Copy !req
988. My honey bunny was never
very good behind the wheel.Copy !req
989. - A better lover than a driver, huh?
- You'd better believe it, buster.Copy !req
990. Uh-oh. It's the weasels. This way!Copy !req
991. - We'll take Gingerbread Lane.
- No, wait! No, no!Copy !req
992. Gingerbread Lane's this way.Copy !req
993. So, Valiant, you call a cab, or what?Copy !req
994. Hubba-hubba-hubba.
Allow me, mademoiselle.Copy !req
995. So how long have you
known it was Doom?Copy !req
996. Before poor Marvin Acme was killed,
he confided in meCopy !req
997. that Doom wanted
to get his hands on Toontown,Copy !req
998. and he wouldn't stop at anything.Copy !req
999. So he gave you the will
for safekeeping.Copy !req
1000. That's what he told me.Copy !req
1001. Except when I opened the envelope,Copy !req
1002. there was only
a blank piece of paper inside.Copy !req
1003. - Huh. A joker to the end.
- So where to, already?Copy !req
1004. - My meter's runnin'!
- I have to find my darling husband.Copy !req
1005. I'm so worried about him.Copy !req
1006. Seriously, what do you see in that guy?Copy !req
1007. He makes me laugh.Copy !req
1008. Aah!Copy !req
1009. Whoa, I've been dipped!Copy !req
1010. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
1011. What an unfortunate accident. Nothing
more treacherous than a slippery roadCopy !req
1012. especially when driving
in a maniacal Toon vehicle.Copy !req
1013. Good work, boss.Copy !req
1014. Don't just stand there. Help them.Copy !req
1015. - Put them in my car.
- Follow me.Copy !req
1016. And I think they'll enjoy attending
the ribbon cutting at the Acme Factory.Copy !req
1017. Come on, you mugs.Copy !req
1018. We searched Valiant, boss.
The will ain't on him.Copy !req
1019. - Then frisk the woman!
- I'll handle this one.Copy !req
1020. Nice booby trap.Copy !req
1021. Do they have the will, or not?Copy !req
1022. - Nah, just a stupid love letter.
- No matter.Copy !req
1023. I doubt if that will is gonna show up
in the next 15 minutes anyway.Copy !req
1024. - What happens in the next 15 minutes?
- Toontown will be legally mine.Copy !req
1025. Lock, stock and barrel.Copy !req
1026. Benny, is that you?Copy !req
1027. No, it's Shirley Temple! Ahh! Oh! Eee!Copy !req
1028. Jumpin' jeepers! What happened?Copy !req
1029. Doom grabbed your wife and Valiant
and took 'em to the Acme Factory.Copy !req
1030. The Acme Factory?
I know where that is. Get in!Copy !req
1031. Move over, Rog. You've done
enough driving for one night.Copy !req
1032. Duh, Toontown right on
the other side of the wall, boss.Copy !req
1033. You see, Mr. Valiant,
the successful conclusion of this caseCopy !req
1034. draws the curtains on my career
as a jurist in Toontown.Copy !req
1035. I'm retiring to take a new role
in the private sector.Copy !req
1036. That wouldn't be Cloverleaf
Industries by any chance, huh?Copy !req
1037. Uh-uh.Copy !req
1038. You're looking at the sole stockholder.Copy !req
1039. Benny, you go for the cops.
I'm gonna save my wife.Copy !req
1040. Be careful with that gun.
This ain't no cartoon, you know.Copy !req
1041. This is no way to make a livin'.Copy !req
1042. Wouldn't you know. Locked.Copy !req
1043. Whoa!Copy !req
1044. Can you guess what this is?Copy !req
1045. Oh, my God! It's dip!Copy !req
1046. That's right, my dear. Enough to dip
Toontown off the face of the Earth!Copy !req
1047. A vehicle of my own design.Copy !req
1048. 5,000 gallons of heated dipCopy !req
1049. pumped at enormous velocity
through a pressurized water cannon.Copy !req
1050. Toontown will be erased
in a matter of minutes.Copy !req
1051. I suppose you thinkCopy !req
1052. no one's going to notice
Toontown's disappeared?Copy !req
1053. Who's got time to wonder
what happenedCopy !req
1054. to some ridiculous talking miceCopy !req
1055. when you're driving by
at 75 miles an hour?Copy !req
1056. What are you talking about?
There's no road past Toontown.Copy !req
1057. Not yet! Several months ago,Copy !req
1058. I had the good providence to stumble
upon this plan of the city council's.Copy !req
1059. A construction plan of epic proportions.Copy !req
1060. They're calling it a freeway.Copy !req
1061. Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?Copy !req
1062. Eight lanes of shimmering cement
running from here to Pasadena.Copy !req
1063. Smooth, safe, fast.Copy !req
1064. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.Copy !req
1065. So that's why you killed
Acme and Maroon? For this freeway?Copy !req
1066. - I don't get it.
- Of course not. You lack vision.Copy !req
1067. I see a place where people
get on and off the freeway.Copy !req
1068. On and off, off and on,
all day and all night!Copy !req
1069. Soon, where Toontown once stood
will be a string of gas stations,Copy !req
1070. inexpensive motels, restaurants
that serve rapidly prepared food,Copy !req
1071. tire salons, automobile dealerships,Copy !req
1072. and wonderful, wonderful billboardsCopy !req
1073. reaching as far as the eye can see!Copy !req
1074. - My God, it'll be beautiful.
- Come on!Copy !req
1075. Nobody's gonna
drive this lousy freewayCopy !req
1076. when they can take
the Red Car for a nickel.Copy !req
1077. Oh, they'll drive. They'll have to.Copy !req
1078. You see, I bought the Red Car
so I could dismantle it.Copy !req
1079. What the...Copy !req
1080. - Ay, caramba!
- Aah!Copy !req
1081. Okay, nobody move!Copy !req
1082. All right, weasels, grab some sky
or I'll let the judge have it!Copy !req
1083. - You heard me. I said, drop it.
- Roger, darling!Copy !req
1084. Yes, it's me, my dearest.
I'd love to embrace you,Copy !req
1085. but first I have to satisfy
my sense of moral outrage!Copy !req
1086. Put the gun down,
you bucktoothed fool!Copy !req
1087. That's it, Doom! Give me another
excuse to pump you full of lead!Copy !req
1088. You thought you could
get away with it, didn't ya? Ha!Copy !req
1089. We Toons may act idiotic,
but we're not stupid!Copy !req
1090. We demand justice,
but the real meaning of the wordCopy !req
1091. probably hits you like a ton of bricks!Copy !req
1092. Roger!Copy !req
1093. - Roger, say something!
- Look, stars!Copy !req
1094. Ready when you are, Raoul.Copy !req
1095. Tie the lovebirds together.Copy !req
1096. Come on, lovebirds. What you want?Copy !req
1097. Put them up on that hook.
Use that escape-proof Toon rope.Copy !req
1098. Time to kill the rabbit.Copy !req
1099. Oh, Roger, you were magnificent.Copy !req
1100. - Was I really?
- Better than Goofy.Copy !req
1101. Roger, darling,
I want you to know I love you.Copy !req
1102. I've loved you more than
any woman's ever loved a rabbit.Copy !req
1103. It's over, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
1104. - Look out, you fools!
- Not so fast.Copy !req
1105. One of these days, you idiots
are gonna laugh yourselves to death!Copy !req
1106. Shall I "repose" of him right now, boss?Copy !req
1107. Let him watch his Toon friends
get dipped, then shoot him.Copy !req
1108. With pleasure.Copy !req
1109. Everything's funny to you,
ain't it, needle nose?Copy !req
1110. You got a problem with that, Valiant?Copy !req
1111. Nah.Copy !req
1112. I just, uh, want you to know something
about the guy you're gonna dip!Copy !req
1113. Now Roger is his name
Laughter is his gameCopy !req
1114. Come on, you dope, untie his rope
and watch him go insaneCopy !req
1115. - He's lost his mind.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
1116. This singing ain't my line
It's tough to make a rhymeCopy !req
1117. If I get stuck
I'm... I'm out of luck...Copy !req
1118. - I'm running out of time!
- Thanks!Copy !req
1119. Aah!Copy !req
1120. Hey, Eddie, keep it up!
You're killin' 'em!Copy !req
1121. You're slayin' 'em!
You're knockin' 'em dead!Copy !req
1122. I'm through with taking falls
I'm bouncing off the wallsCopy !req
1123. Without that gun I'd have some fun
I'd kick you in the...Copy !req
1124. - Nose!
- Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls"!Copy !req
1125. No, but this does!Copy !req
1126. Yikes! Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
1127. Jeepers, that was close!Copy !req
1128. Bye-bye!Copy !req
1129. Eddie, hurry! It's coming back!Copy !req
1130. Oh!Copy !req
1131. - Oh, no!
- This is it!Copy !req
1132. This isn't it!Copy !req
1133. Whoa!Copy !req
1134. Wicked witchcraftCopy !req
1135. And although I knowCopy !req
1136. It's strictly tabooCopy !req
1137. When...Copy !req
1138. Don't move.Copy !req
1139. No. No!Copy !req
1140. Yah!Copy !req
1141. Oh, no!Copy !req
1142. Come on, Eddie! Quit playing around!Copy !req
1143. - P-p-please!
- Oh! Help!Copy !req
1144. I wasn't worried. Were you?Copy !req
1145. - Hey, look!
- Hey, look!Copy !req
1146. Holy smoke! He's a Toon!Copy !req
1147. - Surprised?
- Not really.Copy !req
1148. That lamebrain freeway idea
could only be cooked up by a Toon.Copy !req
1149. Not just any Toon!Copy !req
1150. Remember me, Eddie?Copy !req
1151. When I killed your brother, I talkedCopy !req
1152. just like this!Copy !req
1153. Jumpin' jeepers. Oh!Copy !req
1154. Oh, my goodness! Oh, no!Copy !req
1155. Huh?Copy !req
1156. Good-bye, my darling. Good-bye!Copy !req
1157. Oh! I think I'm gonna faint.Copy !req
1158. Oh, no!Copy !req
1159. I'm melting!Copy !req
1160. I'm melting! Melting!Copy !req
1161. Eddie! Do something!Copy !req
1162. Hurry up, Eddie!Copy !req
1163. Do something!Copy !req
1164. Eddie, there's dip everywhere!
How are we gonna get down?Copy !req
1165. Jeepers, Eddie, that was a close shave.Copy !req
1166. I thought for sure
our goose was cooked!Copy !req
1167. Oh!Copy !req
1168. My hero.Copy !req
1169. - Oh, honey bunny.
- Oh, love cup.Copy !req
1170. Oh, Roger, you were
a pillar of strength.Copy !req
1171. Sister Mary Francis!
What the hell happened in here?Copy !req
1172. I've been a cab for 37 yearsCopy !req
1173. and I've never seen a mess like this!Copy !req
1174. What was that,
a rubber mask?Copy !req
1175. Yeah.Copy !req
1176. And this is the rope from the safe
that was dropped on Acme.Copy !req
1177. I think your lab boys will find
that paint's a perfect match.Copy !req
1178. - Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
- And R.K. Maroon.Copy !req
1179. And my brother.Copy !req
1180. That's what I call one
seriously disturbed Toon.Copy !req
1181. Gosh, uh, I wonder who he really was.Copy !req
1182. I'll tell you one thing, Doc.
He weren't no rabbit.Copy !req
1183. - Or a duck.
- Or a dog.Copy !req
1184. - Or a little wooden boy.
- Or a sheep.Copy !req
1185. - Or a woodpecker.
- Or a pussy.Copy !req
1186. - What's that? What is that?
- It's ink.Copy !req
1187. That goof Acme squirted me
with some the other night.Copy !req
1188. - Why it's coming out now, I don't know.
- Here's your answer, Eddie.Copy !req
1189. Acme Disappearing Reappearing Ink.Copy !req
1190. - Boy, that Acme. What a genius!
- Applesauce!Copy !req
1191. If he was such a genius, why didn't he
leave his will where we could find it?Copy !req
1192. Without it, we're just waitin'
for another developer's wrecking ball!Copy !req
1193. - Roger.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1194. That love letter you wrote to your wife
in the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
1195. Why don't you read it to her now?Copy !req
1196. Sure, Eddie.
"Dear Jessica, how do I love thee?Copy !req
1197. "Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme,
of sound mind and body..."Copy !req
1198. - It's the will!
- Give me!Copy !req
1199. "Do hereby bequeath in perpetuityCopy !req
1200. "the property known as ToontownCopy !req
1201. "to those lovable characters,
the Toons!"Copy !req
1202. Hey, Eddie, that was a pretty
funny dance you did for the weasels.Copy !req
1203. Do you think your days
of being a sourpuss are over?Copy !req
1204. - Only time will tell.
- Yeah. Well, put it there, pal.Copy !req
1205. Yeah.Copy !req
1206. Don't tell me you lost
your sense of humour already.Copy !req
1207. Does this answer your question?Copy !req
1208. Blech! Bleah!Copy !req
1209. Come on, Roger, let's go home.Copy !req
1210. I'll bake you a carrot cake.Copy !req
1211. Smile, darn ya, smileCopy !req
1212. You know, this old world
is a great world after allCopy !req
1213. Smile, darn ya, smileCopy !req
1214. And right away watch lady luck
pay you a callCopy !req
1215. Things are never black
as they are paintedCopy !req
1216. Time for you and joy
to get acquaintedCopy !req
1217. Okay, m-m-move along.
T-T-There's nothing else to see.Copy !req
1218. That's all, folks.Copy !req
1219. Hmm. I like the sound of that.Copy !req
1220. T-T-T-T-That's all, folks!Copy !req