1. Mommy's going to the
beauty parlor, darling.Copy !req
2. But I'm leaving you
with your
favorite friend, Roger.Copy !req
3. He is going to take
very, very good care of you.Copy !req
4. Because if he doesn't,
he's going back
to the science lab!Copy !req
5. P-p-please, don't worry.
Whatever you say.Copy !req
6. Yes, ma'am.
Aye, aye, sir.
Okeydokey.Copy !req
7. Why, I'll take care of him
like he was my own brother.Copy !req
8. Or my own sister. Ow!Copy !req
9. Or my brother's sister.
Or my second cousinCopy !req
10. who is twice removed.
Gobble. Cookie.Copy !req
11. Or my ninth cousin,
who is nine timesCopy !req
12. removed from
his place outside.Copy !req
13. Or like my 15th cousin,
who is 16 times removed
from my mother's side.Copy !req
14. Or like my 27th cousin,
who is 37 times...Copy !req
15. Cookie.
removed from
my father's side.Copy !req
16. Like my 17th cousin,
who is 156 times
removed from any side!Copy !req
17. Aah!Copy !req
18. I'll save you, Baby!Copy !req
19. Cookie.Copy !req
20. Don't burn yourself,
Baby Herman. Whoa!Copy !req
21. Whoa! Ah!Copy !req
22. Whoa!Copy !req
23. Whoa! Wow!Copy !req
24. Whoa!Copy !req
25. Who turned out the lights?
It's dark in here.Copy !req
26. Don't they pay
their electricity?Copy !req
27. What's happened?
I'll find you, Baby.
Where are you?Copy !req
28. Where are you?
Cookie.Copy !req
29. Where'd you go?Copy !req
30. What's that smoke?Copy !req
31. Whoa!Copy !req
32. Whoa!Copy !req
33. Whoa!Copy !req
34. Cookie.Copy !req
35. Wah!Copy !req
36. Cookie.Copy !req
37. I'm here, Baby... Aah!Copy !req
38. Wah!Copy !req
39. Cookie.Copy !req
40. Wah!Copy !req
41. Cookie. Ahh.Copy !req
42. - Cut!
- All right.
That's it, guys.Copy !req
43. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!Copy !req
44. What the hell
was wrong with that take?Copy !req
45. Nothing with you, Baby Herman.
You were great.
You were perfect.Copy !req
46. You were better than perfect.
It's Roger!
He keeps blowing his lines!Copy !req
47. Roger, what's this?Copy !req
48. A tweeting bird?Copy !req
49. "A tweeting bird?"
Roger, read the script.
Look what it says!Copy !req
50. It says,
"Rabbit gets clunked,
rabbit sees stars."Copy !req
51. Not birds, stars!Copy !req
52. Can we lose the playback,
please?Copy !req
53. Roger, you're killing me!
Killing me!
Cut the playback!Copy !req
54. For cryin' out loud, Roger!Copy !req
55. How many times do we
have to do this damn scene?Copy !req
56. Raoul, I'll be
in my trailer,
takin' a nap!Copy !req
57. Whoa!
Excuse me, toots.Copy !req
58. My stomach can't take this.
This set is a mess.Copy !req
59. Clean this set up!
And get him out of there,Copy !req
60. or seal him up in it!Copy !req
61. Lose the lights!Copy !req
62. And say "lunch"!
Lunch!Copy !req
63. That's lunch. We're on a half.Copy !req
64. P-please, Raoul.
I can give you stars!Copy !req
65. Just drop
the refrigerator on my head
one more time!Copy !req
66. Roger,
I dropped it on your head
23 times already.Copy !req
67. I can take it!
Don't worry about me.Copy !req
68. I'm not worried about you.Copy !req
69. I'm worried about
the refrigerator.Copy !req
70. I can give you stars.
Look. Look!Copy !req
71. Look!Copy !req
72. Please, Raoul,
I can do it, I swear.Copy !req
73. Just give me another chance.
Oh, come on, Raoul.Copy !req
74. Toons.Copy !req
75. Look! Look, Raoul!
Look, Raoul!Copy !req
76. Come on, Raoul!Copy !req
77. Mr. Maroon,
Mr. Valiant's here to...Copy !req
78. He'll be right with you.Copy !req
79. No, no, no!
Wait until he
gets to his feet.Copy !req
80. Then hit him
with the boulder.Copy !req
81. Right, R.K.Copy !req
82. How much do you know
about show business,
Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
83. Only there's no
business like it,
no business I know.Copy !req
84. Yeah, and there's no business
more expensive.Copy !req
85. I'm 25 grand over budget
on the latest
Baby Herman cartoon.Copy !req
86. You saw the rabbit
blowin' his lines.Copy !req
87. He can't keep his
mind on the work.
You know why?Copy !req
88. One too many refrigerators
dropped on his head?Copy !req
89. Nah, he's a Toon.Copy !req
90. You can drop anything
you want on his head.
He'll shake it off.Copy !req
91. But break his heart,
he goes to pieces,
just like you or me.Copy !req
92. Read that.Copy !req
93. "Seen cooing over calamari
with not-so-new sugar daddy,Copy !req
94. "was Jessica Rabbit,
wife of Maroon
Cartoon star Roger."Copy !req
95. What's this got
to do with me?Copy !req
96. You're the private detective.
You figure it out.Copy !req
97. Look, I don't have
time for this.Copy !req
98. Look, Valiant,
his wife's poison,Copy !req
99. but he thinks
she's Betty Crocker.Copy !req
100. I want you to follow her,Copy !req
101. get me a couple of nice,
juicy pictures
I can wise the rabbit up with.Copy !req
102. Forget it.
I don't work Toontown.Copy !req
103. What's wrong with Toontown?Copy !req
104. Every Joe loves Toontown.Copy !req
105. Then get Joe to do the job,
'cause I ain't goin'.Copy !req
106. Whoa, fella.
You don't want
to go to Toontown,Copy !req
107. you don't have
to go to Toontown.Copy !req
108. Nobody said you had to
go to Toontown anyway.Copy !req
109. Have a seat, Valiant.Copy !req
110. The rabbit's wife
sings at a joint
called the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
111. "Toon Revue."
Strictly humans only, okay?Copy !req
112. So what do you
think, Valiant?Copy !req
113. Well?Copy !req
114. The job's gonna cost you
100 bucks, plus expenses.Copy !req
115. A hundred bucks?Copy !req
116. That's ridiculous!Copy !req
117. So's the job.Copy !req
118. All right, all right.
You got your 100 bucks.Copy !req
119. Have a drink, Eddie.Copy !req
120. I don't mind if I do.Copy !req
121. I got it.
Careful, Dave.Copy !req
122. I got it!
Dave, you're gonna drop it!Copy !req
123. I'm not gonna drop it!Copy !req
124. You're droppin' it!Copy !req
125. Watch it! Oh, no! Jeez!Copy !req
126. Come on!Copy !req
127. Kind of jumpy,
aren't you, Valiant?Copy !req
128. It's just Dumbo.Copy !req
129. I know who it is.Copy !req
130. I got him on loan
from Disney, him and half
the cast of Fantasia.Copy !req
131. The best part isCopy !req
132. they work for peanuts.Copy !req
133. Well,
I don't work for peanuts.
Where's the other 50?Copy !req
134. Let's call the other 50
a carrot to finish the job.Copy !req
135. You've been hanging
around rabbits too long.Copy !req
136. Hmph!Copy !req
137. W-Whoop! Whoop!Copy !req
138. W-w-whoa!Copy !req
139. Oh, excuse me!Copy !req
140. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
141. Please, help. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
142. Get out of my way!Copy !req
143. Oh, taxi? Oh, cab?Copy !req
144. Right here!
Right here!Copy !req
145. What do I look like, a bank?Copy !req
146. Wait for me!Copy !req
147. Come on!
Guys, wait up!Copy !req
148. Come on, hurry up!
Come on, Sig!Copy !req
149. Hurry up!Copy !req
150. Hey, mister,
ain't you got a car?Copy !req
151. Who needs a car in L.A.?Copy !req
152. We got the best public
transportation
system in the world.Copy !req
153. Hey, so long.
See you later!Copy !req
154. So long, mister!
Thanks for the cigarettes.Copy !req
155. You bet.
Anytime.Copy !req
156. Hi, Harry.
Hey, Eddie.
How's it going?Copy !req
157. Okay. What you got for me?Copy !req
158. The usual bills.Copy !req
159. Hey, give back my ball!Copy !req
160. Hello, fella.Copy !req
161. Hi, Harry. Are you okay?
Hey.Copy !req
162. What's with Earl?Copy !req
163. Laid off?Copy !req
164. A new outfit
bought the Red Car.Copy !req
165. Some big company
called Cloverleaf.Copy !req
166. No kiddin'.
They bought the Red Car?Copy !req
167. Yeah, and put the poor guy
on two weeks' notice.
Cutbacks, they said.Copy !req
168. Oh, well.Copy !req
169. Here's to the pencil pushers.
May they all get
lead poisoning, huh?Copy !req
170. Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie.
You know
what happens here on Friday?Copy !req
171. Fish special?Copy !req
172. My boss checks
the books on Friday.Copy !req
173. And if I don't have
that money I gave you
back in the till,Copy !req
174. I'm gonna lose my job.Copy !req
175. Don't bust a button, Dolores.
You've only got one left.Copy !req
176. 50 bucks?Copy !req
177. Where's the rest?Copy !req
178. Well, it's only
a snoop job away.Copy !req
179. You got that camera of yours?
Mine's in the shop.Copy !req
180. Wouldn't be the pawn shop
by any chance, would it?Copy !req
181. Oh, come on, Dolores.Copy !req
182. You need the other 50.
I need the camera.Copy !req
183. Any film in there?Copy !req
184. Should be.Copy !req
185. I haven't had that roll
developed since
our trip to Catalina.Copy !req
186. That sure was
a long time ago.Copy !req
187. Yeah, that was
a long time ago.Copy !req
188. Let's do that again sometime.Copy !req
189. Yeah, sure, Eddie.Copy !req
190. That paper even good?Copy !req
191. Just check the scrawl.Copy !req
192. R.K. Maroon,
as in Maroon Cartoons?Copy !req
193. Maroon Cartoons?Copy !req
194. Hey. So who's your client,
Mr. Detective-To-The-Stars?Copy !req
195. Chilly Willy?
Or Screwy Squirrel?Copy !req
196. What do you want to drink?Copy !req
197. I'll take a beer, doll.Copy !req
198. So what happened, huh?
Somebody kidnap Dinky Doodle?Copy !req
199. Cut it out, Angelo.Copy !req
200. Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. I know.Copy !req
201. You're working
for Little Bo Peep.Copy !req
202. She's lost her sheep
and you're gonna
help her find them.Copy !req
203. Hey?Copy !req
204. Ow!Copy !req
205. Get this straight, meatball.Copy !req
206. I don't work for Toons!Copy !req
207. So what's his problem?Copy !req
208. A Toon killed his brother.Copy !req
209. What?Copy !req
210. Dropped a piano on his head.Copy !req
211. Got the password?Copy !req
212. Walt sent me.Copy !req
213. Nice monkey suit.Copy !req
214. Wiseass.Copy !req
215. All right.Copy !req
216. Hey, look at that!Copy !req
217. Hey!
Hey! Cut it out!Copy !req
218. Does anybody understand
what this duck is saying?Copy !req
219. Most amusing.Copy !req
220. A little more wine.Copy !req
221. I've worked with
a lot of wise quackers,Copy !req
222. but
you are despicable.Copy !req
223. Doggone stubborn nitwit!Copy !req
224. That did it!Copy !req
225. This is
the last time I workCopy !req
226. with someone with
a speech impediment.Copy !req
227. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
228. Whoa!Copy !req
229. This means war.Copy !req
230. What, you think that's funny?Copy !req
231. Oh, it's a panic.Copy !req
232. You won't think it's funny
when I stick that
pen up your nose.Copy !req
233. Now, calm down,
son, will ya?Copy !req
234. Look, the stain's gone.
It's disappearing ink.Copy !req
235. No hard feelings, I hope.Copy !req
236. Look, I'm... I'm...Copy !req
237. I know who you are.Copy !req
238. Marvin Acme, the guy that
owns Toontown. The gag king.Copy !req
239. If it's Acme, it's a gasser.Copy !req
240. Put it there, pal.Copy !req
241. The hand buzzer.
It's still our biggest seller.Copy !req
242. Scotch on the rocks.Copy !req
243. And I mean ice!Copy !req
244. This is hot stuff!Copy !req
245. Wow!Copy !req
246. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!Copy !req
247. Hey, those ducks are funny.
They never get
to finish the act!Copy !req
248. Great. Thanks.Copy !req
249. Toons.Copy !req
250. Cigars? Cigarettes?Copy !req
251. Eddie Valiant!Copy !req
252. Betty?Copy !req
253. Long time no see.Copy !req
254. What are you doing here?Copy !req
255. Work's been kinda slow
since cartoons went to color.Copy !req
256. But I still got it, Eddie.
Boop-boop-be-doop, boop!Copy !req
257. Yeah, you still got it.Copy !req
258. What's with him?Copy !req
259. Mr. Acme never misses a night
when Jessica performs.Copy !req
260. Got a thing for rabbits, huh?Copy !req
261. She's married
to Roger Rabbit?Copy !req
262. Yeah. What a lucky girl.Copy !req
263. be wanderin' nowCopy !req
264. Who is it?Copy !req
265. Jessica, dear, have no fear.
Your Marvin is here.Copy !req
266. You sure murdered 'em
again tonight, baby.Copy !req
267. I really mean it.
My darling, you were superb.Copy !req
268. You absolutely,
truly and honestly
"fashmolyed" that audience.Copy !req
269. You killed them.
You slayed them.Copy !req
270. You belted them
into little pieces.Copy !req
271. What do you think
you're doin', chump?Copy !req
272. Who are you
callin' a chump, chimp?Copy !req
273. Aah!Copy !req
274. And don't let me catch
your peepin' face
around here again!Copy !req
275. Got it?Copy !req
276. Ooga-booga!Copy !req
277. Come, my dear Jessica.
Come over here.Copy !req
278. I got everything arranged,
right here on the bed.Copy !req
279. Oh, not tonight, Marvin.
I have a headache.Copy !req
280. Oh, Jessica, you promised.Copy !req
281. Oh, all right.Copy !req
282. But this time,
take off that hand buzzer.Copy !req
283. Patty-cake.Copy !req
284. Patty-cake.Copy !req
285. Patty-cake. Patty-cake.Copy !req
286. Oh, Marvin.Copy !req
287. Marvin! Oh!
Patty-cake.Copy !req
288. Marvin.
Patty-cake.Copy !req
289. Patty-cake. Patty-cake.Copy !req
290. Oh, Marvin!Copy !req
291. Patty-cake!
Patty-cake!
Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
292. You gotta be kidding me.
Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
293. Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
294. I don't believe it!Copy !req
295. Patty-cake! Patty-cake!Copy !req
296. Is that true?Copy !req
297. Take comfort, son.Copy !req
298. You're not
the first man whose wife
played patty-cake on him.Copy !req
299. I just don't believe it.Copy !req
300. I won't believe it.
I can't believe it.Copy !req
301. I shan't believe it.Copy !req
302. Believe it, kid.Copy !req
303. I took the pictures myself.Copy !req
304. She played patty-cake.Copy !req
305. No, not my Jessica.
Not patty-cake.Copy !req
306. This is impossible.
I don't believe it.
It can't be!Copy !req
307. It just can't be!
Jessica's my wife!Copy !req
308. It's absolutely impossible!Copy !req
309. Jessica's
the light of my life,Copy !req
310. the apple of my eye,
the cream in my coffee!Copy !req
311. You better start
drinking it black,Copy !req
312. 'cause Acme's
taking the cream now.Copy !req
313. Hard to believe.
Marvin Acme's beenCopy !req
314. my friend and
neighbor for 30 years.Copy !req
315. Who would've thought
he was a sugar daddy?Copy !req
316. Somebody must have
made her do it!Copy !req
317. Now drink this, son.
It'll make you feel better.Copy !req
318. Aah!Copy !req
319. Aah!Copy !req
320. Thanks. I needed that.Copy !req
321. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
322. Look, Mr. Maroon.Copy !req
323. I think my work
here is finished.Copy !req
324. How about that carrot
you owe me, huh?Copy !req
325. A deal's a deal.Copy !req
326. Great.Copy !req
327. Thanks. Phew.Copy !req
328. Roger, I know all this
seems pretty painful now,Copy !req
329. but you'll find someone new.Copy !req
330. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
331. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
332. Good-looking guy like that.Copy !req
333. The dames will be
breaking his door down.Copy !req
334. Dames? What dames?Copy !req
335. Jessica is
the only one for me!Copy !req
336. You'll see! We'll rise above
this piddling peccadillo!Copy !req
337. We're going to be
happy again!Copy !req
338. You got that? Happy.
Capital H-A-P-P-I...Copy !req
339. Well, at least
he took it well.Copy !req
340. Oh, Jessica!Copy !req
341. Please tell me it's not true.Copy !req
342. P-p-please!Copy !req
343. Oh, Lieutenant Santino.Copy !req
344. Where'd you come from?Copy !req
345. Gee whiz, Eddie.
If you needed money so bad,
why didn't you come to me?Copy !req
346. So I took a couple of
dirty pictures. So kill me.Copy !req
347. I already got a stiff
on my hands, thank you.Copy !req
348. Huh?Copy !req
349. Marvin Acme.Copy !req
350. The rabbit
cacked him last night.Copy !req
351. What?Copy !req
352. Now what?Copy !req
353. It's just I
haven't been this close
to Toontown for a while.Copy !req
354. Yeeow!Copy !req
355. Oof, oof, oof! Ow!Copy !req
356. My biscuits are burnin'!
Fire in the hatch! Ow! Ooh!Copy !req
357. Eee! Great horny toads,
that smarts!Copy !req
358. Come on, Eddie.
Let's get this over with.Copy !req
359. I didn't see anything.Copy !req
360. Maybe you heard
a noise or something.Copy !req
361. He's with me.
Nothin'.Copy !req
362. Are you sure?Copy !req
363. Come on, kid.Copy !req
364. Are you sure you
didn't see anything?Copy !req
365. What about you, fella?Copy !req
366. I didn't see anything.Copy !req
367. I came in to work.Copy !req
368. Come on, Lieutenant.Copy !req
369. Just like a Toon to drop
a safe on a guy's head.Copy !req
370. Sorry, Eddie.Copy !req
371. You better wait here,
all right?Copy !req
372. You got a positive I.D.?Copy !req
373. Must be.Copy !req
374. Hey, Chisold,
get a load of this.Copy !req
375. You've seen one of these?Copy !req
376. Yeah.Copy !req
377. Hey, guys.Copy !req
378. Didn't you used to
be Eddie Valiant?Copy !req
379. Or did you change your name
to Jack Daniels?Copy !req
380. What's that?Copy !req
381. Paint from
the rabbit's glove.Copy !req
382. Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
383. I hope you're
proud of yourselfCopy !req
384. and those pictures you took.Copy !req
385. For crying out loud, Mike!
Hey, we need
a little help over here!Copy !req
386. Hey, somebody
grab those loafers!Copy !req
387. Hey, Mike, come here!Copy !req
388. Oh, oh! Oh.Copy !req
389. I got these. Come on. Come on.
Those shoes over there.Copy !req
390. Ow.Copy !req
391. Is this man removing evidence
from the scene of a crime?Copy !req
392. Uh, no, Judge Doom.
Valiant hereCopy !req
393. was just
pickin' it up for you.Copy !req
394. Weren't you, Eddie?Copy !req
395. Hand it over.
Sure.Copy !req
396. His number-one seller.Copy !req
397. I see working for a Toon
has rubbed off on you.Copy !req
398. I wasn't working for a Toon.
I was working for R.K. Maroon.Copy !req
399. Yes, we talked
to Mr. Maroon.Copy !req
400. He told us the rabbit
became quite agitatedCopy !req
401. when you showed
him the pictures.Copy !req
402. The rabbit said,
one way or another,Copy !req
403. he and his wife
were going to be happy.Copy !req
404. Is that true?Copy !req
405. Hey, pal, do I look
like a stenographer?Copy !req
406. Shut your yap, Eddie.
The man's in charge.Copy !req
407. That's all right, Lieutenant.
From the smell of him,Copy !req
408. I'd say it was
the booze talking.Copy !req
409. No matter.
The rabbit won't get far.
My men will find him.Copy !req
410. Look out!Copy !req
411. Weasels?
Yes.Copy !req
412. I find they have
a special gift for the work.Copy !req
413. All right, ya mugs. Fall out.Copy !req
414. Did you
find the rabbit?Copy !req
415. Don't worry, Judge.Copy !req
416. We've got "deformants"
all over the city.
We'll find him.Copy !req
417. You wouldn't
have any idea
where the rabbitCopy !req
418. might be, Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
419. Have you tried Walla Walla?
Cucamonga?Copy !req
420. I hear Kokomo's very nice
this time of the year.Copy !req
421. I'm surprised you're not
more cooperative, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
422. A human has been
murdered by a Toon.Copy !req
423. Don't you appreciate
the magnitude of that?Copy !req
424. Since I've had Toontown
under my jurisdiction,Copy !req
425. my goal has been
to reign in the insanity.Copy !req
426. And the only way
to do that is to
make Toons respect the law.Copy !req
427. How did that gargoyle
get to be a judge?Copy !req
428. He spread a bunch of simoleons
around Toontown
a couple years back,Copy !req
429. bought the election.Copy !req
430. Yeah? What's that?Copy !req
431. Remember
how we always thoughtCopy !req
432. there wasn't a way
to kill a Toon?Copy !req
433. - Yeah.
Well, Doom found a way.Copy !req
434. Turpentine,
acetone, benzene.Copy !req
435. He calls it "the dip."Copy !req
436. I'll catch the rabbit,
Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
437. Then I'll try him,
convict himCopy !req
438. and execute him.Copy !req
439. Gee.Copy !req
440. That's one dead shoe,
eh, boss?Copy !req
441. They're not kid gloves,
Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
442. But this is how
we handle things
down in Toontown.Copy !req
443. I'd think you, of all people,
would appreciate that.Copy !req
444. OFF-Copy !req
445. Uh... Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey!Copy !req
446. I've been tryin'
to make him quit,Copy !req
447. but he just
won't listen to me.Copy !req
448. What do you know,
you dumb broad?
You got the I.Q. of a rattle.Copy !req
449. You Valiant?
Yeah.Copy !req
450. I wanna talk to you about
the Acme murder.
Hey, psst, doll.Copy !req
451. Why don't you run downstairs
and get me a racin' form?Copy !req
452. Ooh! Okay, okay. I'm goin'.Copy !req
453. The lady's man, huh?Copy !req
454. My problem is I got
a 50-year-old lust
in a 3-year-old dinky.Copy !req
455. Yeah, must be tough.Copy !req
456. Look, Valiant,
the rabbit didn't kill Acme.Copy !req
457. He's not a murderer.
I should know.
He's a dear friend of mine.Copy !req
458. I tell ya, Valiant,
the whole thingCopy !req
459. stinks like
yesterday's diapers.Copy !req
460. Look at this.
The paper said
Acme left no will.Copy !req
461. That's a load of succotash.
Every Toon knows
Acme had a will.Copy !req
462. He promised
to leave Toontown
to us Toons.Copy !req
463. That will is the reason
he got bumped off.Copy !req
464. Has anybody ever
seen this will?Copy !req
465. Uh, no, but he gave
us his solemn oath.Copy !req
466. If you believe that
that joker could doCopy !req
467. anything solemn,
the gag's on you, pal.Copy !req
468. I just figured
since you were the one
who got my pal in trouble,Copy !req
469. you might want to
help get him out.Copy !req
470. I can pay you.Copy !req
471. Save your money for a pair
of elevator shoes!Copy !req
472. Wait, no!
Valiant, no!
Oh, my stogie!Copy !req
473. Wah!Copy !req
474. Wah!Copy !req
475. Wah!Copy !req
476. It ain't my fault the rabbit
got himself in trouble.Copy !req
477. All I did was take
a couple of lousy pictures.Copy !req
478. Baby was right.Copy !req
479. The hell with it.Copy !req
480. Aah!Copy !req
481. Aah!Copy !req
482. How the hell did
you get in here?Copy !req
483. Through the mail slot.Copy !req
484. I thought it would be best
if I waited inside,Copy !req
485. seein' as how I'm
wanted for murder!Copy !req
486. No kiddin'.
Just talkin' to youCopy !req
487. could get me a rap for
aiding and abetting.Copy !req
488. Wait a minute.
Anybody know you're here?Copy !req
489. Nobody.
Not a soul except, uh...Copy !req
490. Who?Copy !req
491. Well, you see...Copy !req
492. I didn't know
where your office was,
so I asked the newsboy.Copy !req
493. He didn't know,
so I asked the fireman,
the green grocer,Copy !req
494. the butcher, the baker.
They didn't know.Copy !req
495. But the liquor
store guy, he knew.Copy !req
496. In other words,
the whole damn town
knows you're here!Copy !req
497. Get out of here!
Come on. Out!
Hey, take it easy, will ya?Copy !req
498. Out! Get out! Come on.
Please, Eddie,
don't throw me out!Copy !req
499. You're making a big mistake!
Get out of here!Copy !req
500. I didn't kill anybody!
I swear!Copy !req
501. Let go of that door,
will ya?Copy !req
502. This whole thing's a setup,
a scam, a frame job. Ow!Copy !req
503. Eddie, I could
never hurt anybody. Ow!Copy !req
504. My whole purpose in lifeCopy !req
505. is to make people...Copy !req
506. laugh!Copy !req
507. Okay, okay. Sure, I admit it.Copy !req
508. I got a little
steamed when youCopy !req
509. showed me those
pictures of Jessica...Copy !req
510. so I rushed over
to the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
511. But she wasn't in
her dressing room,
so I wrote her a love letter.Copy !req
512. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.Copy !req
513. You're telling me,
in a fit of jealousy,Copy !req
514. you wrote your
wife a love letter?Copy !req
515. That's right.
I know that she wasCopy !req
516. just an innocent
victim of circumstance.Copy !req
517. I suppose you
used the old lipstick
on the mirror routine, huh?Copy !req
518. Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no.Copy !req
519. I found a nice,
clean piece of paper.Copy !req
520. "Dear Jessica,
how do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.Copy !req
521. "One-one thousand,
two-one thousand,
three-one thousand..."Copy !req
522. Why didn't you just
leave the letter there?Copy !req
523. Obviously,
a poem of this power
and sensitivity must...Copy !req
524. Aah!Copy !req
525. be read in person,
so I went home
to wait for her.Copy !req
526. But the weasels were there,
waiting for me.Copy !req
527. So... So I ran.Copy !req
528. So why come to me?
I'm the guy that took
the pictures of your wife.Copy !req
529. Yeah, and you're also the guy
that helped all these Toons.Copy !req
530. Everybody knows,
when a Toon's in trouble,Copy !req
531. there's only one place to go,
Valiant and Valiant.Copy !req
532. Not anymore.Copy !req
533. Get out of that chair!Copy !req
534. That's my brother's chair.Copy !req
535. Yeah. Where is
your brother anyway?Copy !req
536. He looks like a sensitive
and sober fellow.Copy !req
537. That's it.
I'm callin' the cops.Copy !req
538. Go ahead. Call the cops.Copy !req
539. I come here for help,
and what do you do?Copy !req
540. You turn me in.
No, no, don't feel
guilty about me.Copy !req
541. So long,
and thanks for nothin'.Copy !req
542. That's the closet! Stupe.Copy !req
543. Eddie Valiant,
you're under arrest.Copy !req
544. Get out!Copy !req
545. Idiot. I got no
keys for these cuffs.Copy !req
546. Huh?Copy !req
547. Yah!Copy !req
548. Come on. Get the lead out.
Move it, would ya? Move it!Copy !req
549. Yah! It's the Toon Patrol!Copy !req
550. Hide me, Eddie. P-p-please!Copy !req
551. Remember. You never saw me.Copy !req
552. Get out of there!Copy !req
553. Don't let 'em find me!Copy !req
554. Come on, Eddie.
You're my only hope.Copy !req
555. Open up in
the name of the law!Copy !req
556. That's us.
P-p-please, Eddie.Copy !req
557. You know there's no justice
for Toons anymore.Copy !req
558. If the weasels get
their hands on me...Copy !req
559. Are you in there?Copy !req
560. I'm as good as dipped.Copy !req
561. Don't make us
play rough, Valiant.Copy !req
562. We just want the rabbit.Copy !req
563. What are we gonna do, Eddie?
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
564. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
565. What's all this "we" stuff?
They just want the rabbit.Copy !req
566. It looks like they gave us
the slip, huh, boss?Copy !req
567. Nah. Valiant's got him
stashed somewhere.Copy !req
568. Hold it right there.Copy !req
569. Hello, boys.
I didn't hear you come in.Copy !req
570. Okay, wise guy.
Where's the rabbit?Copy !req
571. I haven't seen him.Copy !req
572. What's in there?Copy !req
573. My lingerie.Copy !req
574. Sheesh, Valiant.Copy !req
575. Search the place, boys.Copy !req
576. And leave
no stone unturned.Copy !req
577. Look, Valiant,
we got a reliable tip-off
the rabbit was here,Copy !req
578. and it was "corrugated"
by several others.Copy !req
579. So cut the "bullshtick."Copy !req
580. You keep
talkin' like that,Copy !req
581. and I'm gonna have to
wash your mouth out.Copy !req
582. Stop that laughin'!Copy !req
583. Stop that laughin'!Copy !req
584. You know what happens
when ya can't stop laughin'!Copy !req
585. One of these days,
you're gonna die laughin'.Copy !req
586. As for you, Valiant,
step out of line,Copy !req
587. and we'll hang
you and your laundryCopy !req
588. out to dry.Copy !req
589. Come on, boys.
Let's "am-scray."Copy !req
590. They're gone.Copy !req
591. Jeepers, Eddie,
that was swell.Copy !req
592. You saved my life.
How can I ever repay ya?Copy !req
593. Blecch! For starters,
don't ever kiss me again!Copy !req
594. Stop kicking me.
Stop kicking me.Copy !req
595. Dolores. Dolores!Copy !req
596. Dolores!Copy !req
597. Hey, Eddie, you made
the front page today.Copy !req
598. Yeah, I guess
I made some ink.Copy !req
599. And what ink.Copy !req
600. Come on, Eddie.
Just let's go. Please!Copy !req
601. So tell me, Eddie.
Is that a rabbit
in your pocket,Copy !req
602. or are you just
happy to see me?Copy !req
603. Cut the comedy, Dolores.
I've had a very hard day.Copy !req
604. I gotta get out
of these cuffs.Copy !req
605. Oh, swell.Copy !req
606. Whew!Copy !req
607. Jeepers, Eddie,
that almost killed me!Copy !req
608. Ow.Copy !req
609. Boy, what is this?
Some kind of a secret room?Copy !req
610. It's a rotgut room.
A holdover from Prohibition.Copy !req
611. Oh, I get it. A speakeasy,
a gin mill, a hooch parlor.Copy !req
612. Tools are up here, Eddie.
Look at this!Copy !req
613. Aah!Copy !req
614. It's a spy hole!Copy !req
615. Jeepers, Eddie!
This would be
a great place to hide!Copy !req
616. Crazy Toon. Oof!Copy !req
617. Watch your head!Copy !req
618. I thought you said
you'd never take
another Toon case.Copy !req
619. What'd you have,
a change of heart?Copy !req
620. Nothing's changed.Copy !req
621. Somebody's made
a patsy out of me,
and I'm going to find out why.Copy !req
622. Hold still, will ya?Copy !req
623. Does this help?Copy !req
624. Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
625. You mean to tell me thatCopy !req
626. you could have taken your hand
out of that cuff at any time?Copy !req
627. No, not at any time.
Only when it was funny.Copy !req
628. Get out!Copy !req
629. Come on, Eddie.
Where's your sense of humor?Copy !req
630. He always this funny,
or only on days when
he's wanted for murder?Copy !req
631. Listen,
my philosophy is this.Copy !req
632. If you don't have
a good sense of humor,
you're better off dead.Copy !req
633. You just may get
your wish unlessCopy !req
634. I can figure out
what happened to this.Copy !req
635. What is it, Eddie?Copy !req
636. Just look at it.Copy !req
637. Mr. Acme's will.Copy !req
638. Yeah.Copy !req
639. And I think Maroon
played the part
of sound mindCopy !req
640. and your wife the sound body.Copy !req
641. Why, I resent
that innuendo!Copy !req
642. What's the scheme, Eddie?Copy !req
643. I don't think
they got to the will.Copy !req
644. But how do you know?Copy !req
645. Because they were
still looking for it
after they killed him.Copy !req
646. Anything I can do?Copy !req
647. Maybe you can go downtown
and check the probate.Copy !req
648. Yeah, check the probate!Copy !req
649. Why, my Uncle Thumper
had a problem
with his probate,Copy !req
650. and he had to
take these big pills
and drink lots of water.Copy !req
651. Not prostate, you idiot.
Probate!Copy !req
652. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
653. You think that my boss,
R.K. MaroonCopy !req
654. dropped a safe on
Marvin Acme's headCopy !req
655. so that he could get
his hands on Toontown?Copy !req
656. Yeah.Copy !req
657. That's my hunch.Copy !req
658. Uh, can he stay here
for a couple of days?Copy !req
659. He's not gonna do
anything crazy, is he?Copy !req
660. Where are you going?
Back to the office.Copy !req
661. Mr. Valiant.
Mr. Valiant?Copy !req
662. You've got the wrong idea
about me, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
663. I'm a pawn in this,
just like Roger.Copy !req
664. Can you help me find him?
Just name your price
and I'll pay it.Copy !req
665. Yeah, I bet you would.Copy !req
666. You've gotta have the rabbit
to make the scam work.Copy !req
667. No, no, no. I love my husband.
You've got me all wrong.Copy !req
668. You don't know
how hard it is
being a womanCopy !req
669. looking the way I do.Copy !req
670. Yeah, well.Copy !req
671. You don't know how hard
it is being a manCopy !req
672. looking at a woman,
looking the way you do.Copy !req
673. I'm not bad.
I'm just drawn that way.Copy !req
674. Weren't you the one
I caught playing patty-cake
with old man Acme?Copy !req
675. You didn't catch me,
Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
676. You were set up to
take those pictures.Copy !req
677. What are you talking about?Copy !req
678. Maroon wanted to
blackmail Acme.Copy !req
679. I didn't want to have
anything to do with it,Copy !req
680. but he said if I didn't
pose for those
patty-cake pictures,Copy !req
681. Roger would never work
in this town again.Copy !req
682. I couldn't let that happen.Copy !req
683. I'd do anything
for my husband,
Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
684. Anything.Copy !req
685. What a wife.Copy !req
686. I'm desperate, Mr. Valiant.
Can't you see
how much I need you?Copy !req
687. Dabblin' in watercolors,
Eddie?Copy !req
688. Well.Copy !req
689. Sorry.Copy !req
690. Good-bye, Eddie.
My offer stands firm.Copy !req
691. Think about it.Copy !req
692. Well!Copy !req
693. Do you want to tell me
what she was doing
with her arms around you?Copy !req
694. Probably lookin'
for a good place
to stick a knife.Copy !req
695. Come on, Eddie.
I caught you with
your pants down!Copy !req
696. Yeah, but I...
Dolores, come...Copy !req
697. Come on, Dolores.Copy !req
698. You don't believe
a painted hussy like that
could turn my head.Copy !req
699. She's just trying to get
her hands on the rabbit.Copy !req
700. That's not all she's trying
to get her hands on.Copy !req
701. Now, look, Dolores, listen.
Listen to me.Copy !req
702. Look, I want you to go out,Copy !req
703. I want you to buy yourself
a new swim suit,Copy !req
704. 'cause you and me
are going to Catalina.Copy !req
705. I'm on the verge
of wrappin' up this case.Copy !req
706. No, you're not, Eddie.Copy !req
707. That's what I
came to tell you.
I stopped by Probate.Copy !req
708. Maroon's not after Toontown
like you thought.Copy !req
709. It's Cloverleaf
that wants to get
their hands on Toontown.Copy !req
710. They put in the highest bid.Copy !req
711. And unless Mr. Acme's will
shows up by midnight tonight,Copy !req
712. Cloverleaf is
gonna own Toontown.Copy !req
713. What? At midnight tonight?Copy !req
714. That's right.Copy !req
715. First they buy
the Red Car,Copy !req
716. then they want to get
their hands on Toontown.Copy !req
717. I don't get it.
Shh!Copy !req
718. Yes!Copy !req
719. Roger!Copy !req
720. The rabbit. Get the judge.Copy !req
721. Nice shirt.Copy !req
722. Who's your tailor, Quasimodo?Copy !req
723. A sourpuss, you'll seeCopy !req
724. he'll need no gun
'cause a joker he will beCopy !req
725. to raise some CainCopy !req
726. It feels so great
'cause I'm so tightCopy !req
727. Ow!Copy !req
728. No!Copy !req
729. Hey, wait!Copy !req
730. Yah!Copy !req
731. Hey, who turned out
the lights?Copy !req
732. I can't see a thing!
What's goin' on?Copy !req
733. You crazy rabbit!Copy !req
734. I've been out there
risking my neck for you,Copy !req
735. and what are you doin'?Copy !req
736. Singin' and dancin'!Copy !req
737. But I'm a Toon.
Toons are supposed to
make people laugh.Copy !req
738. Sit down!Copy !req
739. You don't understand.
Those people needed to laugh.Copy !req
740. Yeah, and when
they're done laughin',
they'll call the cops!Copy !req
741. That guy Angelo would
rat on you for a nickel.Copy !req
742. Not Angelo!
He'd never turn me in.Copy !req
743. Why? Because
you made him laugh?Copy !req
744. That's right.
A laugh can be
a very powerful thing.Copy !req
745. Why, sometimes in life,
it's the only weapon we have.Copy !req
746. Laughter is the most...
Shh.Copy !req
747. "Ix-nay."Ix-nay."Copy !req
748. I'm looking for a murderer.Copy !req
749. A rabbit.Copy !req
750. A Toon rabbit.Copy !req
751. About yea big.Copy !req
752. Look.Copy !req
753. There's no rabbit here,
so don't harass my customers.Copy !req
754. I didn't come here to harass.
I came here to reward.Copy !req
755. Hey. I seen a rabbit.Copy !req
756. Where?Copy !req
757. See?Copy !req
758. Where?Copy !req
759. He's right here
in the bar.Copy !req
760. Say "hello," Harvey.Copy !req
761. I told you so.Copy !req
762. The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down.Copy !req
763. Quite a loony selection
for a group of
drunken reprobates.Copy !req
764. He's here!Copy !req
765. Stop that laughing!Copy !req
766. Have you forgotten
what happened last time?Copy !req
767. If you don't
stop this laughing,
you're gonna end up dead,Copy !req
768. just like your
idiot hyena cousins!Copy !req
769. Say, boss, you want we should
"disresemble" the place?Copy !req
770. No, Sergeant. Disassembling
the place won't be necessary.Copy !req
771. The rabbit is going
to come right to me.Copy !req
772. Gee.Copy !req
773. No Toon can resist
the old Shave and
a Haircut trick.Copy !req
774. I don't know who's toonier,
you or Doom.Copy !req
775. Roger!Copy !req
776. Ro... Roger.Copy !req
777. Roger, no!Copy !req
778. Roger, don't...Copy !req
779. Hey, Judge, what should
we do with the wallflower?Copy !req
780. We'll see to him later.Copy !req
781. Right now I feel like
dispensing some justice.Copy !req
782. Bring me some dip.Copy !req
783. Aah!Copy !req
784. Does the condemned
have anything to sayCopy !req
785. before his sentence
is carried out?Copy !req
786. Why, yeah. I...Copy !req
787. Wah!Copy !req
788. Dolores, a bourbon,
and make it a double.Copy !req
789. A fine time
for a drink, Eddie.Copy !req
790. Maybe you'd like a bowl
of pretzels to go with it!Copy !req
791. Pour the drink, Dolores.Copy !req
792. Hey, Judge!Copy !req
793. Doesn't a dying rabbit
deserve a last request?Copy !req
794. Yeah!
Nose plugs would be nice.Copy !req
795. I think you want a drink.Copy !req
796. How 'bout it, Judge?Copy !req
797. Well, why not.Copy !req
798. I don't mind
prolonging the execution.Copy !req
799. Happy trails.Copy !req
800. No, thanks, Eddie.
I'm tryin' to cut down.Copy !req
801. Drink the drink!
But I don't want the drink.Copy !req
802. He doesn't want the drink.Copy !req
803. He does! You do!
I don't!Copy !req
804. I don't! I don't!
You do!Copy !req
805. You do! You don't.
I don't!Copy !req
806. I do!
You don't!Copy !req
807. I do!
You don't!Copy !req
808. Listen, when I say "I do,"
that means I do!Copy !req
809. Aah!Copy !req
810. Come on.Copy !req
811. Gotcha, kid.Copy !req
812. Come on, Eddie,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
813. Move it, pops! Yikes!Copy !req
814. That was quick thinkin',
Eddie.Copy !req
815. Nothing like using
the old spine flower,Copy !req
816. the wise noodle,
the smart puddin'.Copy !req
817. Roger!Copy !req
818. Yikes! Stop, will ya?
Let's use this!Copy !req
819. Yah!Copy !req
820. Let's get out of here!
What are you waitin' for?Copy !req
821. There's no damn key!Copy !req
822. Hey, you weasels,
let me out of here,
will ya? Come on!Copy !req
823. I've got to make a livin'!Copy !req
824. Benny, is that you?Copy !req
825. No,
it's Eleanor Roosevelt.Copy !req
826. Come on, Roger!
Get me out of here!Copy !req
827. Eddie,
we got ourselves a ride!
Open the doors!Copy !req
828. Whoo!Copy !req
829. Ah, that's better.Copy !req
830. I can't believe
they locked me up
for driving on the sidewalk.Copy !req
831. Come on, Eddie. Get in!Copy !req
832. It was just
a couple of miles.Copy !req
833. I'll drive!Copy !req
834. But I wanna drive!Copy !req
835. No, I'll drive!Copy !req
836. I'm the cab.
Out of my way, pencil neck!Copy !req
837. How about this weather, huh?Copy !req
838. It never rains!Copy !req
839. Would you beat it!Copy !req
840. They've sprung the cab!
Let's go!Copy !req
841. And how about those
Brooklyn Dodgers?Copy !req
842. Are they bums, or what?Copy !req
843. Move over. I'm drivin'!Copy !req
844. Benny, Eddie, we got company!Copy !req
845. Will you look at these two?
Excuse me, ladies!Copy !req
846. Now that's what I call
a couple of road hogs.Copy !req
847. I'm gonna blow his head off.Copy !req
848. Benny, look out
for the Red Car!Copy !req
849. Whoa!Copy !req
850. Benny, there's cops
right behind us!Copy !req
851. Not for long, Roger.Copy !req
852. No!Copy !req
853. Now they're
right in front of us.Copy !req
854. Eddie, we're goin' backwards.
Turn us around.Copy !req
855. Give me the wheel.
Give me the wheel!Copy !req
856. The cops are
still on our tail!Copy !req
857. I know the cops
are on our tail!Copy !req
858. What do you think I am? Benny!Copy !req
859. No. No!Copy !req
860. Pull the lever!Copy !req
861. Which one?
Which one?Copy !req
862. Which one?Copy !req
863. I'm gonna ram 'em.Copy !req
864. What the heck?Copy !req
865. Whoa!Copy !req
866. I'm gettin'
too old for this!Copy !req
867. Aah!Copy !req
868. Jumpin' jeepers!Copy !req
869. Hey, Roger, what do you call
the middle of a song?Copy !req
870. Gee, I don't know.
A bridge!
Aah!Copy !req
871. Well, fellas,
where can I drop ya?Copy !req
872. Yeah. Somewhere we can hide.Copy !req
873. I got just the place.
And incidentally,Copy !req
874. if you should
ever need a ride,
just stick out your thumb.Copy !req
875. Hey, share the road,
will ya, lady?Copy !req
876. Ah, well,
that wasn't so bad, was it?Copy !req
877. Boy, did you see that?
Nobody takes
a wallop like Goofy.Copy !req
878. What timing, what finesse!
What a genius!Copy !req
879. Ouch!Copy !req
880. We're supposed to be hiding.
What's wrong with you?Copy !req
881. Ow. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
882. You're the only person
in this theater
that isn't laughing.Copy !req
883. Is there nothing
that can permeate
your impervious puss?Copy !req
884. Hey, Eddie!
Boy, nothin'.Copy !req
885. What could've
possibly happened to youCopy !req
886. to turn you
into such a sourpuss?Copy !req
887. You want to know?
I'll tell you.Copy !req
888. A Toon killed my brother.Copy !req
889. A Toon? No.Copy !req
890. That's right.
A Toon.Copy !req
891. We were
investigating a robberyCopy !req
892. at the First National
Bank of Toontown.Copy !req
893. Back in those days,
me and Teddy
liked working Toontown.Copy !req
894. We thought it was
a lot of laughs.Copy !req
895. Anyway, this guyCopy !req
896. got away with
a zillion simoleons.Copy !req
897. We trailed him
to a little dive
down on Yockster Street.Copy !req
898. We went in.Copy !req
899. Only he got
the drop on us, literally.Copy !req
900. Dropped a piano
on us from 15 stories.Copy !req
901. Broke my arm.Copy !req
902. Teddy never made it.Copy !req
903. I never did find out
who that guy was.Copy !req
904. All I remember was,Copy !req
905. he was standin'
over me, laughin',Copy !req
906. with those burnin' red eyesCopy !req
907. and that high, squeaky voice.Copy !req
908. He disappeared
into Toontown after that.Copy !req
909. No
wonder you hate me.Copy !req
910. If a Toon killed my brother,
I'd hate me too!Copy !req
911. Come on, don't cry.
I don't hate you.Copy !req
912. Yes, you do.Copy !req
913. No, I don't.Copy !req
914. You do hate me.Copy !req
915. Otherwise you wouldn't have
yanked my ears
all those times.Copy !req
916. Well, I'm sorry
I yanked your ears.Copy !req
917. All the times
you yanked my ears?Copy !req
918. All the times I
yanked your ears.Copy !req
919. Apology accepted.Copy !req
920. Put 'er there, pal.
I feel better. Oh, boy!Copy !req
921. I hope it's another cartoon!Copy !req
922. Jeepers,
another stupid newsreel.Copy !req
923. I hate the news.Copy !req
924. Did you get all my stuff?Copy !req
925. Yes.Copy !req
926. It's all packed up
in the car outside.Copy !req
927. Would have been here
right after you called,Copy !req
928. but I had to
shake the weasels.Copy !req
929. Yeah. I'm sorry about
the trouble in the bar.Copy !req
930. Oh, hell. Stuffing olives
for a living
wasn't for me anyway.Copy !req
931. Dolores?Copy !req
932. You oughta find
yourself a good man.Copy !req
933. But I already
have a good man.Copy !req
934. P-p-please, don't mind me.Copy !req
935. You better get going, Eddie.Copy !req
936. A near miss, but this missCopy !req
937. says that's
as good as a smile.Copy !req
938. California Cloverleaf...Copy !req
939. Glad Teddy's not here
to see me running awayCopy !req
940. with my tail
between my legs.Copy !req
941. It's not so bad
once you get used to it.Copy !req
942. The Pacific Red Car
trolley lineCopy !req
943. and the venerated
Maroon Cartoon Studios.Copy !req
944. Here, R.K. Maroon is seen
clinching the dealCopy !req
945. with Cloverleaf's
bankers and execsCopy !req
946. in one of
the biggest real estate deals
ever in California history.Copy !req
947. That's it!
Three-and-a-half
million dollars...Copy !req
948. That's the connection!Copy !req
949. Let's forget it.
There's nobody here.Copy !req
950. Is that it,
or are you scared?Copy !req
951. P-p-please! Me, scared?Copy !req
952. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
953. When you called Maroon,
you told himCopy !req
954. you had the will,
but you don't.Copy !req
955. When he finds out,
he's gonna be mad.Copy !req
956. He might try to kill ya.Copy !req
957. I can handle
a Hollywood cream puff.Copy !req
958. I just don't want
the odds to change.Copy !req
959. Now, you cover my back.Copy !req
960. And if you hear
or see anything,
beep the horn twice.Copy !req
961. Yeah, that's it.
Beep the horn twice.
Cover your back.Copy !req
962. Boy, I'm ready.
Dukes up, eyes peeled,
ears to the ground.Copy !req
963. Why, nobody gets the drop
on Roger Rabbit.Copy !req
964. Aah!Copy !req
965. What's up, Doc?Copy !req
966. Valiant,
what are you trying to do,
give me a heart attack?Copy !req
967. You need a heart
before you can
have an attack.Copy !req
968. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got the will?Copy !req
969. Sure. I got the will.Copy !req
970. The question is,
do you have the way?Copy !req
971. 'Cause I can tell you now,
it ain't gonna come cheap.Copy !req
972. You got a lot of brass
coming up here by yourself.Copy !req
973. Who said I'm here by myself?Copy !req
974. Let me see that will.Copy !req
975. I told you, I got it.Copy !req
976. I want to see it now!Copy !req
977. "How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways"?Copy !req
978. This supposed to be a joke?Copy !req
979. No, this is.Copy !req
980. Get up! Come on.Copy !req
981. What are you
gonna do to me, Valiant?Copy !req
982. I'm gonna listen to you
spin the Cloverleaf scenario.Copy !req
983. A story of greed,
sex and murder.Copy !req
984. And the parts
that I don't like,
I'm gonna edit out.Copy !req
985. You got it all wrong!
I'm a cartoon maker,
not a murderer!Copy !req
986. Everybody's got
to have a hobby.Copy !req
987. Oh, stop it.
Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
988. The truth is,
I had a chance
to sell my studio,Copy !req
989. but Cloverleaf
wouldn't buy my property
unless Acme sold them his.Copy !req
990. The stubborn
bastard wouldn't sell,Copy !req
991. so I was gonna
blackmail AcmeCopy !req
992. with pictures of him
and the rabbit's wife.Copy !req
993. Blackmail, that's all!
I've been around
Toons all my life!Copy !req
994. I didn't want to
see 'em destroyed!Copy !req
995. Toons destroyed? Why?Copy !req
996. If I tell ya,
I'm a dead man.Copy !req
997. You're a dead man
if you don't tell me.Copy !req
998. Unless Acme's will shows
by midnight tonight,Copy !req
999. Toontown's going to be
live for the free... Aah!Copy !req
1000. Roger!Copy !req
1001. What the...
Yeah, what in Sam Hill...Copy !req
1002. Eddie Valiant!
Well, you're a sight
for sore eyes!Copy !req
1003. I ain't seen you in
nigh on to five years.Copy !req
1004. Where've you been?Copy !req
1005. Drunk.Copy !req
1006. You feeling
frisky tonight, fellas?Copy !req
1007. Yeah!Copy !req
1008. Let's go.Copy !req
1009. Yahoo!Copy !req
1010. is a great world after allCopy !req
1011. away watch lady luck
pay you a callCopy !req
1012. as they are paintedCopy !req
1013. joy to get acquaintedCopy !req
1014. Hi, Eddie!
Hi, Eddie! Bye, Eddie!Copy !req
1015. Tallyho! Tallyho!Copy !req
1016. Get out of here!Copy !req
1017. Going up, sir.Copy !req
1018. Yah!Copy !req
1019. Mind the step, sir.Copy !req
1020. Hold on, sir.Copy !req
1021. Yah!Copy !req
1022. Your floor, sir.Copy !req
1023. Have a good day, sir.Copy !req
1024. Ah. Gotcha.Copy !req
1025. A man!Copy !req
1026. Yoo-hoo, lover boy!
It's Lena Hyena!Copy !req
1027. Aah!Copy !req
1028. Oh, no!Copy !req
1029. Aah!Copy !req
1030. Oh, "wook," piggies.Copy !req
1031. Hi, Tweety.Copy !req
1032. This "wittle" piggy
went to market.Copy !req
1033. This "wittle"
piggy stayed home.Copy !req
1034. No.Copy !req
1035. This "wittle" piggy
had roast beef.Copy !req
1036. And this "wittle" piggy had...Copy !req
1037. Aah!Copy !req
1038. Uh-oh. Ran out of piggies.Copy !req
1039. Yah!Copy !req
1040. Eh, what's up, Doc?Copy !req
1041. Jumpin' without a parachute?
Kinda dangerous, ain't it?Copy !req
1042. Yeah.Copy !req
1043. Yeah. You could get killed.Copy !req
1044. You guys got a spare?Copy !req
1045. Uh, Bugs does.Copy !req
1046. Yeah?
Yeah, but I don't
think you want it.Copy !req
1047. I do! I do! Give it to me!Copy !req
1048. Gee, better
let him have it, Bugs.Copy !req
1049. Okay, Doc.
Whatever you say.
Here's the spare.Copy !req
1050. Thank you.Copy !req
1051. Ah, no! Ahh!Copy !req
1052. Ah, poor fella. Ha, ha.Copy !req
1053. Yeah. Ain't I a stinker?Copy !req
1054. Aah!Copy !req
1055. My man!Copy !req
1056. Come to Lena!Copy !req
1057. Ooh!Copy !req
1058. Toons. Gets 'em every time.Copy !req
1059. Gesundheit.
Thank you.Copy !req
1060. Valiant?Copy !req
1061. I always knew I'd
get it in Toontown.Copy !req
1062. Behind you!Copy !req
1063. Drop it, lady!Copy !req
1064. I just saved your life,
and you still don't trust me?Copy !req
1065. I don't trust
anybody or anything!Copy !req
1066. Not even your own eyes?Copy !req
1067. That's the gun that
killed R.K. Maroon,
and Doom pulled the trigger.Copy !req
1068. Doom?
I followed him
to the studio,Copy !req
1069. but I was too
late to stop him.Copy !req
1070. That's right!
You'll never stop me!Copy !req
1071. You're dead! You're both dead!Copy !req
1072. Doom!Copy !req
1073. Which way'd he go?Copy !req
1074. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
1075. Well, he went that-a-way.Copy !req
1076. Let's go!Copy !req
1077. Dum-dums.Copy !req
1078. Come on.
Yeah.Copy !req
1079. Oh, no. Where's Roger?Copy !req
1080. Roger?Copy !req
1081. He chickened out on me
back at the studio.Copy !req
1082. No, he didn't.Copy !req
1083. I hit him on the head
with a frying pan
and put him in the trunkCopy !req
1084. so he wouldn't get hurt.Copy !req
1085. Makes perfect sense.Copy !req
1086. We're obviously not
going anywhere in my car.Copy !req
1087. Let's take yours.Copy !req
1088. I got a feeling
somebody already did.Copy !req
1089. From the looks of it,
I'd say it was Roger.Copy !req
1090. My honey bunny was never
very good behind the wheel.Copy !req
1091. A better lover
than a driver, huh?Copy !req
1092. You'd better
believe it, buster.Copy !req
1093. Uh-oh.
It's the weasels. This way!Copy !req
1094. We'll take Gingerbread Lane.
No, wait! No, no!Copy !req
1095. Gingerbread Lane's this way.Copy !req
1096. So, Valiant,
you call a cab, or what?Copy !req
1097. Hubba-hubba-hubba.
Allow me, mademoiselle.Copy !req
1098. So how long have you
known it was Doom?Copy !req
1099. Before poor
Marvin Acme was killed,
he confided in meCopy !req
1100. that Doom wanted
to get his hands on Toontown,Copy !req
1101. and he wouldn't
stop at anything.Copy !req
1102. So he gave you the will
for safekeeping.Copy !req
1103. That's what he told me.Copy !req
1104. Except when I
opened the envelope,Copy !req
1105. there was only
a blank piece
of paper inside.Copy !req
1106. Huh. A joker to the end.Copy !req
1107. So where to, already?Copy !req
1108. My meter's runnin'!Copy !req
1109. I have to find my
darling husband.Copy !req
1110. I'm so worried about him.Copy !req
1111. Seriously,
what do you
see in that guy?Copy !req
1112. He makes me laugh.Copy !req
1113. Aah!Copy !req
1114. Whoa, I've been dipped!Copy !req
1115. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.Copy !req
1116. What an unfortunate accident.Copy !req
1117. Nothing more treacherous
than a slippery roadCopy !req
1118. especially when driving
in a maniacal Toon vehicle.Copy !req
1119. Good work, boss.Copy !req
1120. Don't just stand there.
Help them.Copy !req
1121. Put them in my car.
Follow me.Copy !req
1122. And I think
they'll enjoy attendingCopy !req
1123. the ribbon cutting
at the Acme Factory.Copy !req
1124. Come on, you mugs.Copy !req
1125. We searched Valiant, boss.
The will ain't on him.Copy !req
1126. Then frisk the woman!Copy !req
1127. I'll handle this one.Copy !req
1128. Nice booby trap.Copy !req
1129. Do they have
the will, or not?Copy !req
1130. Nah, just
a stupid love letter.Copy !req
1131. No matter.Copy !req
1132. I doubt if that will
is gonna show up
in the next 15 minutes anyway.Copy !req
1133. What happens in
the next 15 minutes?Copy !req
1134. Toontown will be legally mine.Copy !req
1135. Lock, stock and barrel.Copy !req
1136. Benny, is that you?Copy !req
1137. No, it's Shirley Temple!
Ahh! Oh! Eee!Copy !req
1138. Jumpin' jeepers!
What happened?Copy !req
1139. Doom grabbed your
wife and ValiantCopy !req
1140. and took 'em to
the Acme Factory.Copy !req
1141. The Acme Factory?
I know where that is. Get in!Copy !req
1142. Move over, Rog.
You've done enough driving
for one night.Copy !req
1143. Duh, Toontown right on
the other side
of the wall, boss.Copy !req
1144. You see, Mr. Valiant,
the successful
conclusion of this caseCopy !req
1145. draws the curtains
on my career
as a jurist in Toontown.Copy !req
1146. I'm retiring to
take a new role
in the private sector.Copy !req
1147. That wouldn't be
Cloverleaf Industries
by any chance, huh?Copy !req
1148. Uh-uh.Copy !req
1149. You're looking at
the sole stockholder.Copy !req
1150. Benny, you go for the cops.
I'm gonna save my wife.Copy !req
1151. Be careful with that gun.
This ain't no cartoon,
you know.Copy !req
1152. This is no way
to make a livin'.Copy !req
1153. Wouldn't you know. Locked.Copy !req
1154. Whoa!Copy !req
1155. Can you guess what this is?Copy !req
1156. Oh, my God! It's dip!Copy !req
1157. That's right, my dear.
Enough to dipCopy !req
1158. Toontown off
the face of the Earth!Copy !req
1159. A vehicle of my own design.Copy !req
1160. 5,000 gallons of heated dipCopy !req
1161. pumped at enormous velocity
through
a pressurized water cannon.Copy !req
1162. Toontown will be erased
in a matter of minutes.Copy !req
1163. I suppose you thinkCopy !req
1164. no one's going to notice
Toontown's disappeared?Copy !req
1165. Who's got time to wonder
what happenedCopy !req
1166. to some
ridiculous talking miceCopy !req
1167. when you're driving by
at 75 miles an hour?Copy !req
1168. What are you talking about?
There's no road past Toontown.Copy !req
1169. Not yet! Several months ago,Copy !req
1170. I had the good providence
to stumble uponCopy !req
1171. this plan of
the city council's.Copy !req
1172. A construction plan
of epic proportions.Copy !req
1173. They're calling it a freeway.Copy !req
1174. Freeway?
What the hell's
a freeway?Copy !req
1175. Eight lanes of
shimmering cement running
from here to Pasadena.Copy !req
1176. Smooth, safe, fast.Copy !req
1177. Traffic jams will be
a thing of the past.Copy !req
1178. So that's why you killed
Acme and Maroon?
For this freeway?Copy !req
1179. I don't get it.
Of course not.Copy !req
1180. You lack vision.Copy !req
1181. I see a place where people
get on and off the freeway.Copy !req
1182. On and off, off and on,
all day and all night!Copy !req
1183. Soon, where Toontown
once stoodCopy !req
1184. will be a string
of gas stations,Copy !req
1185. inexpensive motels,
restaurantsCopy !req
1186. that serve
rapidly prepared food,Copy !req
1187. tire salons,
automobile dealerships,Copy !req
1188. and wonderful,
wonderful billboardsCopy !req
1189. reaching as far
as the eye can see!Copy !req
1190. My God, it'll be beautiful.Copy !req
1191. Come on!Copy !req
1192. Nobody's gonna
drive this lousy freewayCopy !req
1193. when they can take
the Red Car for a nickel.Copy !req
1194. Oh, they'll drive.
They'll have to.Copy !req
1195. You see, I bought the Red Car
so I could dismantle it.Copy !req
1196. What the...Copy !req
1197. Ay, caramba!Copy !req
1198. Aah!Copy !req
1199. Okay, nobody move!Copy !req
1200. All right, weasels,
grab some sky
or I'll let the judge have it!Copy !req
1201. You heard me.
I said, drop it.Copy !req
1202. Roger, darling!Copy !req
1203. Yes, it's me, my dearest.
I'd love to embrace you,Copy !req
1204. but first I have to satisfy
my sense of moral outrage!Copy !req
1205. Put the gun down,
you bucktoothed fool!Copy !req
1206. That's it, Doom!
Give me another excuseCopy !req
1207. to pump you full of lead!Copy !req
1208. You thought you could
get away with it, didn't ya?
Ha!Copy !req
1209. We Toons may act idiotic,
but we're not stupid!Copy !req
1210. We demand justice,
but the real
meaning of the wordCopy !req
1211. probably hits you
like a ton of bricks!Copy !req
1212. Roger!Copy !req
1213. Roger, say something!Copy !req
1214. Look, stars!Copy !req
1215. Ready when you are, Raoul.Copy !req
1216. Tie the lovebirds together.Copy !req
1217. Come on, lovebirds.
What you want?Copy !req
1218. Put them up on that hook.
Use that
escape-proof Toon rope.Copy !req
1219. Time to kill the rabbit.Copy !req
1220. Oh, Roger,
you were magnificent.Copy !req
1221. Was I really?Copy !req
1222. Better than Goofy.Copy !req
1223. Roger, darling,
I want you to know
I love you.Copy !req
1224. I've loved you more
than any woman's ever
loved a rabbit.Copy !req
1225. It's over, Mr. Valiant.Copy !req
1226. Look out, you fools!Copy !req
1227. Not so fast.Copy !req
1228. One of these days,
you idiots are gonna
laugh yourselves to death!Copy !req
1229. Shall I "repose" of
him right now, boss?Copy !req
1230. Let him watch his Toon friends
get dipped, then shoot him.Copy !req
1231. With pleasure.Copy !req
1232. Everything's funny to you,
ain't it, needle nose?Copy !req
1233. You got a problem
with that, Valiant?Copy !req
1234. Nah.Copy !req
1235. I just, uh, want you
to know somethingCopy !req
1236. about the guy
you're gonna dip!Copy !req
1237. Laughter is his gameCopy !req
1238. He's lost his mind.Copy !req
1239. I don't think so.Copy !req
1240. It's tough to make a rhymeCopy !req
1241. I'm running out of time!Copy !req
1242. Thanks!Copy !req
1243. Aah!Copy !req
1244. Hey, Eddie, keep it up!
You're killin' 'em!Copy !req
1245. You're slayin' 'em!
You're knockin' 'em dead!Copy !req
1246. with taking falls
I'm bouncing off the wallsCopy !req
1247. Nose!Copy !req
1248. Nose? That don't
rhyme with "walls"!Copy !req
1249. No, but this does!Copy !req
1250. Yikes! Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
1251. Jeepers, that was close!Copy !req
1252. Bye-bye!Copy !req
1253. Eddie, hurry!
It's coming back!Copy !req
1254. Oh!Copy !req
1255. Oh, no!Copy !req
1256. This is it!Copy !req
1257. This isn't it!Copy !req
1258. Whoa!Copy !req
1259. Don't move.Copy !req
1260. No. No!Copy !req
1261. Yah!Copy !req
1262. Oh, no!Copy !req
1263. Come on, Eddie!
Quit playing around!Copy !req
1264. P-p-please!Copy !req
1265. Oh! Help!Copy !req
1266. I wasn't worried.
Were you?Copy !req
1267. Hey, look!
Hey, look!Copy !req
1268. Holy smoke! He's a Toon!Copy !req
1269. Surprised?
Not really.Copy !req
1270. That lamebrain freeway idea
could only be
cooked up by a Toon.Copy !req
1271. Not just any Toon!Copy !req
1272. Remember me, Eddie?Copy !req
1273. When I killed your brother,Copy !req
1274. I talked
just like this!Copy !req
1275. Jumpin' jeepers. Oh!Copy !req
1276. Oh, my goodness! Oh, no!Copy !req
1277. Huh?Copy !req
1278. Good-bye, my darling.
Good-bye!Copy !req
1279. Oh! I think I'm gonna faint.Copy !req
1280. Oh, no!Copy !req
1281. I'm melting!Copy !req
1282. I'm melting! Melting!Copy !req
1283. Eddie! Do something!Copy !req
1284. Hurry up, Eddie!Copy !req
1285. Do something!Copy !req
1286. Eddie, there's dip everywhere!
How are we gonna get down?Copy !req
1287. Jeepers, Eddie,
that was a close shave.Copy !req
1288. I thought for sure
our goose was cooked!Copy !req
1289. Oh!Copy !req
1290. My hero.Copy !req
1291. Oh, honey bunny.Copy !req
1292. Oh, love cup.Copy !req
1293. Oh, Roger, you were
a pillar of strength.Copy !req
1294. Sister Mary Francis!
What the hell
happened in here?Copy !req
1295. I've been a cab
for 37 yearsCopy !req
1296. and I've never
seen a mess like this!Copy !req
1297. What was that,
a rubber mask?Copy !req
1298. Yeah.Copy !req
1299. And this is the rope
from the safe
that was dropped on Acme.Copy !req
1300. I think your lab boys
will find that paint's
a perfect match.Copy !req
1301. Judge Doom
killed Marvin Acme.Copy !req
1302. And R.K. Maroon.Copy !req
1303. And my brother.Copy !req
1304. That's what I call one
seriously disturbed Toon.Copy !req
1305. Gosh, uh, I wonder
who he really was.Copy !req
1306. I'll tell you one thing, Doc.
He weren't no rabbit.Copy !req
1307. Or a duck.
Or a dog.Copy !req
1308. Or a little wooden boy.
Or a sheep.Copy !req
1309. Or a woodpecker.
Or a pussy.Copy !req
1310. What's that? What is that?Copy !req
1311. It's ink.Copy !req
1312. That goof Acme squirted me
with some the other night.Copy !req
1313. Why it's coming out now,
I don't know.Copy !req
1314. Here's your answer, Eddie.Copy !req
1315. Acme Disappearing
Reappearing Ink.Copy !req
1316. Boy, that Acme.
What a genius!Copy !req
1317. Applesauce!Copy !req
1318. If he was such a genius,
why didn't heCopy !req
1319. leave his will
where we could find it?Copy !req
1320. Without it, we're just
waitin' for another
developer's wrecking ball!Copy !req
1321. Roger.
Yeah?Copy !req
1322. That love letter
you wrote to your wife
in the Ink and Paint Club.Copy !req
1323. Why don't you
read it to her now?Copy !req
1324. Sure, Eddie.
"Dear Jessica,
how do I love thee?Copy !req
1325. "Let me count the ways.
I, Marvin Acme,
of sound mind and body..."Copy !req
1326. It's the will!
Give me!Copy !req
1327. "Do hereby
bequeath in perpetuityCopy !req
1328. "the property
known as ToontownCopy !req
1329. "to those lovable characters,
the Toons!"Copy !req
1330. Hey, Eddie, that was
a pretty funny dance
you did for the weasels.Copy !req
1331. Do you think your days
of being a sourpuss are over?Copy !req
1332. Only time will tell.Copy !req
1333. Yeah. Well, put it there, pal.Copy !req
1334. Yeah.Copy !req
1335. Don't tell me you lost
your sense of humor already.Copy !req
1336. Does this
answer your question?Copy !req
1337. Blech! Bleah!Copy !req
1338. Come on, Roger,
let's go home.Copy !req
1339. I'll bake you a carrot cake.Copy !req
1340. watch lady luck
pay you a callCopy !req
1341. as they are paintedCopy !req
1342. Okay, m-m-move along.
T-T-There's
nothing else to see.Copy !req
1343. That's all, folks.Copy !req
1344. Hmm. I like
the sound of that.Copy !req
1345. T-T-T-T-That's all, folks!Copy !req