1. So long, child
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2. I'm on my way
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3. And after all is done
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4. After all is done
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5. Don't be down
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6. It's all in the past
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7. Though you may be afraid
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8. So long, child
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9. It's awful dark
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10. And I've never felt the sun
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11. I dread to think of when
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12. When the wind blows
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13. When the wind blows
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14. When the wind blows
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15. When the wind blows
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16. Life burns a savage wound
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17. Angry and wrong
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18. Trusting a twisted word
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19. You'll run, run away
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20. You'll take him home
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21. You'll spit and taunt him
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22. But they won't believe you
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23. No matter what you say
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24. So long, child
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25. It's awful dark
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26. I've never felt the sun
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27. I dread to think of
when the wind blows
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28. When the wind blows
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29. When the wind blows
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30. When the wind blows
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31. - Hello, dear.
- Hello, love.
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32. - Did you have a nice morning, dear?
- Oh, all right, thanks.
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33. Rather uneventful.
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34. My life isn't very
fast-moving or dynamic.
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35. Well, you are retired, James.
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36. You do seem a bit down, dear.
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37. Yes, well... I've been reading the papers
in the public library all the morning.
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38. Oh, those things! Full of rubbish.
I never look at them. Except the stars.
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39. We must keep abreast of the
international situation, ducksie.
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40. Decisions made by the powers
that be will get to us in the end.
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41. Politics and sport,
that's all they're full of.
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42. Could affect us all, the...
ultimate determent, an' that.
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43. They say there may be a
pre-emptive strike, dear.
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44. Oh, not another strike!
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45. It's wicked! I'd have them all
locked up. Blessed communists!
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46. Well, it all looks pretty umpty.
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47. It's not that sort of strike, duck.
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48. - Sausages or beefburgers, dear?
- Sausages, thanks.
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49. It looks as if the balloon
could go up at any moment.
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50. What balloon?
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51. - Mashed or chips?
- Chips, thanks.
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52. Oh, I don't know.
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53. The balloon.
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54. Or is it a maroon? I can't remember.
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55. What are you talking about, James?
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56. It looks as if there's
going to be a war, dear.
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57. Yes, they say it might
break out at any time now.
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58. Well, at least you won't be
called up, James. You're far too old.
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59. Well, thank you, my beloved.
I'm still two years younger than you.
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60. Well, if the worst
comes to the worst,
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61. we'll just have to roll up
our sleeves, tighten our belts,
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62. and put on our tin hats
till it's V-E Day again.
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63. It won't be like
that this time, love.
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64. I think this one is called
the "Big Bang Theory."
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65. It's all worked out by
brilliant scientists.
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66. Well, we survived the last one,
we can do it again.
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67. It'll take more than a few
bombs to get me down.
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68. Yes, yes, we... we must...
must look on the bright side, ducks.
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69. - Better go over to Radio 4.
- I like Radio 2.
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70. Radio 4 is better for the
international situation.
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71. Good evening, this is Radio 4, with the
news at six o'clock this Thursday evening.
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72. The Prime Minister, speaking a few
minutes ago in the House of Commons,
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73. has warned that the international
situation is deteriorating rapidly,
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74. and that war could break out at any
time in the next two or three days.
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75. Crumbs!
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76. What's the matter, dear?
Have you burned yourself?
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77. This is it, ducks! This is really it!
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78. Another sausage, dear?
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79. I shouldn't worry too much.
It'll probably all blow over.
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80. - Three days! Blimey! Three days!
- Language, James! Language!
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81. Crumbs! It's lucky I got more leaflets
from the public library only this morning.
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82. Here we are, see?
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83. "Protect And Survive" and...
"The Householder's Guide To Survival."
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84. Now, this one should
be really authoritative.
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85. It's printed by the County Council.
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86. We'd better commence the construction
of a fallout shelter immediately.
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87. We must do the correct thing.
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88. There's treacle tart and custard
or cold bread and butter pudding.
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89. - Treacle tart, please.
- Fallout?
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90. - I thought they did that in the army.
- No, dear, it's fall in in the army.
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91. Fall in. Thank goodness I got
all those official leaflets today.
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92. I gave the others to our Ron.
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93. Suppose I hadn't?
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94. We'd have been totally non-prepared.
I mean, just think!
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95. Will you have to dig a hole, like the
old Anderson shelters in the war?
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96. No, dear, that's all old-fashioned.
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97. With modern scientific methods, you just
use doors with cushions and books on top.
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98. Where on earth are we going
to get doors from, James?
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99. Well... you just
unscrew them, dear.
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100. You don't mean off our own house!
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101. Well... yes... dear.
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102. You're not going to ruin
the paintwork, James!
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103. Oh, don't worry. I can soon touch
it up after the bomb's gone off.
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104. Well, mind you do.
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105. Just you be careful, James!
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106. Mind that paint, James!
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107. I hope you know what you're doing.
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108. I'll put the screws in a plastic bag.
You'll only go and lose them.
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109. Remember, they're in the
right-hand jug on the dresser.
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110. It's going to be very
draughty with no doors on.
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111. I expect it's a safety precaution.
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112. It'll let the...
blast go straight through.
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113. It says here...
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114. "The inner core or refuge should be placed at
an angle of 60 degrees for maximum strength."
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115. I should place it up against
the wall, if I were you, dear.
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116. Yes, but which are the degrees?
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117. We haven't got any angles.
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118. I think we did it at school. You...
You had angles with degrees in.
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119. Only I can't remember.
I think I'll ring our Ron. He'll know.
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120. Hello, son. All right?
Beryl and the baby?
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121. Good. Look, I'm building this
governmental inner core or refuge,
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122. and it says, "Place it at
an angle of 60 degrees."
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123. Well, what's that mean, exactly?
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124. It's not cobblers, son.
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125. It's in the governmental directive.
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126. You mean you're not constructing
an inner core or refuge?
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127. I gave you the leaflets especially!
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128. But what about baby Jim?
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129. Don't start singing!
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130. What do you mean, "We'll all go
together when we go"? It's not funny.
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131. No, but it's our duty to carry out
governmental instructions in time of war, son.
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132. Stop laughing, will you?
I'm surprised at you.
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133. You're supposed to be a
responsible father now.
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134. A protractor?
The angle at the bottom?
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135. Yes, yes, I see.
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136. OK, son. Thanks.
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137. Now, listen.
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138. Just you start that inner core or refuge.
It's your bounden duty, son.
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139. Cheerio, son.
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140. Now, remember what I said.
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141. I am your father.
I do know a bit about war.
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142. Love to Beryl and baby Jim. Ta-ta.
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143. Yes... Ron says I need a protractor.
He says I can get one at Willis's.
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144. He was killing himself laughing,
and he was singing songs!
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145. I can't understand it.
I think it's nerves.
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146. He's gone a bit hysterical.
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147. - He can't be drunk at this time of day.
- Our Ron doesn't drink.
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148. Oh, no, no, no. No, no,
of course not, dear.
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149. Ron is not going to make
an inner core or refuge.
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150. I remonstrated with him,
but he was adamant.
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151. He says if London cops it, he'll cop it.
And not to worry, Dad.
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152. It's an irresponsible attitude.
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153. I'm a bit disappointed in him,
adopting that attitude.
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154. He was always a very responsible
boy when he was in the Cubs.
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155. It was going to that art
college that spoiled him.
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156. He met some dreadful people there.
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157. Huh! Blessed beatniks!
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158. I don't suppose it'll make a terrific
amount of difference, the exact angle.
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159. It'll probably all fall down anyway.
What with the bomb, an' that.
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160. If a job's worth doing,
it's worth doing well, James.
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161. Yes, dear. But it is only temporary.
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162. After all, it'll all
be over in a flash.
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163. Funny to think they were
on our side in the war.
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164. - Who, dear?
- The Russkies.
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165. - With old Joe Stalin.
- Yes, he was a nice chap.
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166. I liked him.
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167. Like an uncle, he was.
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168. I liked his moustache and his pipe.
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169. Yeah. Roosevelt was nice, too.
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170. There was three of them.
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171. Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.
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172. All good blokes.
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173. With old Hitler, Goering and Musso,
and all that lot, on the other side.
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174. You somehow knew where you were then.
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175. I don't even know who the
people are these days.
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176. I expect it's all done
by committees, dear.
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177. Yes, and meetings. I expect they
have loads and loads of meetings,
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178. and thus arrive at decisions.
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179. Commuters, too.
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180. They all use commuters these days.
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181. It's got very impersonal.
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182. Churchill with his cigar,
old Stalin with his moustache...
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183. you knew where you stood.
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184. Do you think they'll invade?
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185. Oh, no, no. Won't need to.
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186. It'll all be done by missiles.
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187. Long... range.
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188. Then they'll instil commuters
to take charge of us.
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189. It's funny to think there's
no shelters this time.
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190. We had an old Anderson in the garden.
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191. I can see it now.
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192. We had nasturtiums
growing all over it.
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193. And we painted the front green.
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194. Painted, it looked quite pretty.
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195. Next door grew cabbages on theirs.
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196. Yes. We had a Morrison.
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197. Hm, I used to sleep in it.
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198. I stuck pin-up girls
all over the inside.
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199. Betty Grable,
Anne Shelton, Patricia Roc.
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200. The roof got all smoky, cos I used
to read in bed with a candle.
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201. Yes, it was nice in the war, really.
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202. The shelters, the blackouts,
cups of tea...
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203. The ARP, the evacuees.
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204. London kids seeing
cows for the first time.
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205. Old Churchill on the wireless.
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206. The nine o'clock news.
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207. - Vera Lynn singing away.
- Worker's Playtime.
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208. Spitfires and Hurricanes in the
blue sky over the cornfields.
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209. The White Cliffs of Dover.
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210. Old Jerry coming over every night.
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211. Those were the days.
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212. Don't you dare use my best
cushions from the front room!
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213. I'll get some old ones from upstairs.
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214. I'll put them in plastic bags.
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215. I don't want fingermarks
getting all over them.
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216. I shouldn't worry too much, love.
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217. They're bound to get dusty with
all the fallout coming down.
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218. It says here we've got to lay
in food supplies for 14 days.
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219. I'd better put a note out
for 28 pints of milk, then.
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220. I'll just pop out and get 14 loaves,
dear! And a protractor.
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221. Anything else you want?
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222. I'll need more plastic bags, dear!
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223. There's no bread, ducks! Sold out.
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224. There seems to be some
sort of panic purchasing.
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225. It can't be helped, dear.
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226. After all, there is a war on.
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227. Or nearly, anyway.
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228. I hope you haven't left that cape
dripping in the hall, James!
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229. Oh, no, dear.
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230. Mr Willis has sold out of protractors.
I expect everyone wants 60 degrees.
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231. He was terrifically kind, Mr Willis.
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232. He cut me out a bit of card
with 60 degrees on it. Look.
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233. Oh! Nice, dear.
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234. Here's the emergency supplies, ducks.
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235. Two packets of ginger creams,
half a jam sponge,
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236. a tin of pineapple chunks
and a tin of Christmas pud.
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237. It'll all be over by Christmas.
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238. - You're not decorating now, James!
- We've got to paint the windows white, dear.
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239. - Whatever for?
- It's for the radiation, I think.
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240. Like they do in greenhouses, to keep
out the sun. It's the correct thing.
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241. - It won't be that hot, surely!
- Well, I don't know.
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242. They say the one at Hiroshima
was equal to one thousand suns.
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243. So it is quite hot.
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244. And besides, the powers that be
are making much better ones now.
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245. Science has leaped forward
with giant strides. Oops!
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246. Mind you don't get paint
on those curtains, James.
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247. You should have taken them
down first. You never think.
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248. I know that smile of yours, James.
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249. "Keep doors closed to prevent
the spread of fire", it says.
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250. - But you've taken off half the doors, James.
- Yes, dear.
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251. Won't that make the fire worse, then?
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252. Well, I...
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253. Perhaps the blast will
blow the fire out.
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254. Well... Hm!
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255. The inner core or refuge looks
quite cosy, doesn't it, dear?
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256. I hope those doors aren't
marking the wallpaper, James.
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257. Come in and try it out, dear. Please.
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258. Whoa! Careful! Careful!
You'll have it over!
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259. Budge up, can't you, James?
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260. Couldn't you have
made it a bit... wider?
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261. It's... It's constructed in compliance
with the governmental specifications, dear.
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262. Well, they might have made it
wide enough for two people.
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263. - Suppose you were married?
- We are married, dear.
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264. Yes, well there you are, then.
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265. Oh!
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266. What about if you had children?
Where would they go?
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267. Oh, well, you'd just hold them in
your arms. They'd soon fall asleep.
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268. Suppose they were 17 or 18?
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269. Big boys with bristly chins
and big boots on. Skinheads.
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270. Well, in that case, you'd...
Copy !req
271. just add a few more doors.
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272. There's... no wall
space for more doors.
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273. Oh. No.
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274. Well, our Ron was never
a skinhead, anyway.
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275. What on earth are you putting
the food in there for?
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276. Well, that's where it's got to be.
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277. But why can't it stay in
the larder and fridge?
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278. Because we must not emerge for the
14 days of the national emergency.
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279. You're not saying we've got to stay
in that thing for two weeks, are you?
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280. Yes, dear. Ours not to reason why.
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281. Now we must do the correct thing.
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282. Well, what about the cooking, then?
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283. How do I get to the cooker?
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284. We'll just have to use the
little picnic stove, dear.
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285. - What about the toilet?
- Well...
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286. Well, we'll have to have
a potty, or something.
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287. I can tell you now, James Bloggs,
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288. that I am going to go upstairs
in the proper manner.
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289. But you mustn't emerge, dear. Not for
the 14 days of the national emergency.
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290. All right, then, how are you
going to empty the chamber pot?
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291. Well, we just have to empty
it down the toilet, I suppose.
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292. - You just said we couldn't go to the toilet.
- Oh. Yes.
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293. Well... Yeah, well,
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294. Now, we'd better not cross our
bridges till we come to them, eh?
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295. Look on the bright side, eh, ducks?
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296. Six, five, zero, zero, six, ten...
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297. It says here, "Two pints of
water per person per day."
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298. I wonder if we've got enough bottles.
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299. I'll have a look under
the stairs, dear.
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300. I've measured the water
into the bottles, James.
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301. I've labelled them so we
don't get in a muddle.
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302. Oh, good. That's nice, dear.
Copy !req
303. You're very efficient in a
national emergency, dearest.
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304. Get on with you!
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305. It says here, "D: Miscellaneous:
Copy !req
306. Salt, tomato ketchup and sauces,
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307. pepper, matches, toilet paper,
disinfectant, vitamin tablets,
Copy !req
308. tin opener, knives, forks, spoons."
Copy !req
309. Funny. No plates.
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310. - What's all that, dear?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
311. It's called "miscellaneous."
Pass it in, please.
Copy !req
312. - Funny.
- What, dear?
Copy !req
313. In the governmental leaflet, it says,
"Remove thin materials from windows."
Copy !req
314. And in the County Council leaflet, it says,
"Hang white sheets in the windows."
Copy !req
315. I wonder which is correct.
Copy !req
316. Oh! It says peanut butter.
Copy !req
317. We haven't got any. Oh, dear.
Copy !req
318. Never mind, ducks.
I don't like it, nor do you.
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319. No, but it's on the official list.
Oh, dear.
Copy !req
320. Now, don't worry, love.
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321. I expect we'll survive without it.
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322. It'll probably go runny
in the heat, anyway.
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323. You get terrific heat with
these bombs, you know.
Copy !req
324. Mind you, diet is very important.
Copy !req
325. You are what you... eat.
Copy !req
326. And the survival of
the fittest, an' that. Whoa!
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327. That's why so many people... are jogging
and eating lots of All-Bran, I expect.
Copy !req
328. Only the fittest will survive the
outcome of the nuclear holocaust.
Copy !req
329. They eat lots of beans, too.
Copy !req
330. They give you wind, beans do.
Copy !req
331. You certainly shouldn't
eat beans, James.
Copy !req
332. Let's not get personal, ducks.
Copy !req
333. I'm trying to have a
scientific discussion.
Copy !req
334. If there really is going to be a war,
who do you think will win?
Copy !req
335. Well, the Americans have
tactile nuclear superiority,
Copy !req
336. due to their IBMs and
their polar submarines.
Copy !req
337. But in the event of a
pre-emptive strike,
Copy !req
338. innumerate Russian hordes will sweep
across the plains of Central Europe.
Copy !req
339. Then the US Technical Air
Force will come roaring in
Copy !req
340. with their Superhawks, B-17 s and B-19s,
bristling with guns! Terrifically armed!
Copy !req
341. "OK, you guys! Let's go!"
Copy !req
342. They'd razor the Russky
defences to the ground.
Copy !req
343. Then the marines would parachute
in and round up the population.
Copy !req
344. After that, the big generals would
go over... like... Ike and Monty.
Copy !req
345. Then the Russians would capitulate,
and there would be a condition of surrender.
Copy !req
346. Then they'd instil free
and fair elections.
Copy !req
347. One man, one vote.
Copy !req
348. And women too, nowadays, of course.
Copy !req
349. And thus, the Communist threat to
the Free World would be neutrified,
Copy !req
350. and democratic principles would
be instilled throughout Russia,
Copy !req
351. whether they liked it or not.
Copy !req
352. That's the world scenario as I
see it, at this moment in time.
Copy !req
353. - Monty. Wasn't he in the war?
- Well, of course he was.
Copy !req
354. He practically won it.
Copy !req
355. You remember, dear.
Copy !req
356. Big beret with badges on it.
Copy !req
357. Tanks. The Desert Rats. El Alamo.
Copy !req
358. But that was ages ago, dear.
Copy !req
359. Yes, well, I expect
he's getting on a bit.
Copy !req
360. Probably been promoted.
Copy !req
361. More likely dead.
Copy !req
362. Monty dead? Never!
Copy !req
363. I'll bet he is. It's about
40 years since the war.
Copy !req
364. And he had a moustache then!
Copy !req
365. Who's in charge now, then?
Copy !req
366. Oh, one of those commuters, I expect.
Copy !req
367. It says here, "Place your
National Savings Certificates,
Copy !req
368. medical cards and birth
certificates in a box."
Copy !req
369. Here's a nice box, dear.
I'll give it a good clean-out.
Copy !req
370. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
371. We'd... better keep
it in a safe place.
Copy !req
372. I wonder what would be a safe place.
Copy !req
373. Who's in charge of
the Russians, dear?
Copy !req
374. Oh... it's...
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375. Shavinsky, isn't it?
Copy !req
376. Or... Molotov.
Copy !req
377. No. Molotov's just
a cocktail, I think.
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378. Krushef. Yes, that's right.
Copy !req
379. B and K.
Copy !req
380. Bulgania and Krushef, that's them.
Copy !req
381. And that bloke Marx has got
something to do with it.
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382. What are you doing, dear?
Copy !req
383. Blocking out the windows, in compliance
with the governmental directive.
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384. It's the correct thing.
Copy !req
385. Yes. Then there's the...
usual committee, of course,
Copy !req
386. the Common Term, they call it...
the Soviet Supreme.
Copy !req
387. They're in charge of the BJ Kee.
Copy !req
388. That's the Secret Service.
SS for short.
Copy !req
389. Our lot is called EMI-5.
Copy !req
390. Oh, it's all very complicated, ducks.
Copy !req
391. Well, mind you don't
scratch the polish!
Copy !req
392. Is it any good writing him
a letter, do you think?
Copy !req
393. - Who, dear?
- This leader. BJ Whatshisname.
Copy !req
394. - What are you going to say, dear?
- Oh, I don't know.
Copy !req
395. Dear Sir,
Copy !req
396. Mr B J thing...
Copy !req
397. We, the people of Britain,
are fed up with being bombed.
Copy !req
398. We had enough of it last time, with old
Hitler, so will you just leave us in peace?
Copy !req
399. You live your life
and we'll live ours.
Copy !req
400. Hope you are well.
Copy !req
401. Please don't drop any bombs.
Yours sincerely, Mr and Mrs J Bloggs.
Copy !req
402. Very good, dear. Very nice. Yes.
Copy !req
403. You might be a bit late for the post.
Copy !req
404. You know what the
post is like these days.
Copy !req
405. First class might just get there.
Copy !req
406. But I must do this list.
Copy !req
407. "Dustbin, calendar, books, games, paper,
pencils, shovel, spade, crowbar, axe, hatchet,
Copy !req
408. saw, whistle and/or gong for alarms,
Copy !req
409. suitcases for furniture
or evacuation,
Copy !req
410. string, pliers...
Copy !req
411. first-aid kits, safety pins, scissors,
flints, aspirins, diarrhoea remedy,
Copy !req
412. tweezers, calamine lotion,
war crisis editions, lice-flea powder,
Copy !req
413. rodent poison, insulin,
blood-pressure tablets,
Copy !req
414. rubber gloves, sanitary towels,
mirror, toilet paper, eyewash."
Copy !req
415. I wonder if it's true
about the paper bags.
Copy !req
416. Or is it a joke?
Copy !req
417. I never know if it's
just a joke or not.
Copy !req
418. What's that, dear?
Copy !req
419. Well, they say you should get into a
paper bag just before the bomb goes off.
Copy !req
420. Whatever for?
Copy !req
421. I suppose it's like the white paint.
It... deflects the heat a bit.
Copy !req
422. - Sounds silly to me.
- There are some paper bags.
Copy !req
423. We had spuds from the farm in them.
There should be four.
Copy !req
424. They'll be filthy, James.
Copy !req
425. Are you sure your
bag is clean, James?
Copy !req
426. Yes, dear, I...
cleaned it thoroughly.
Copy !req
427. You do look silly!
Copy !req
428. I wonder if it's all
right to have eyeholes.
Copy !req
429. They say it's the correct
thing to wear white.
Copy !req
430. People in Hiroshima with patterned clothes
got burned where the pattern was,
Copy !req
431. and not so much on the white bits.
Copy !req
432. Even the buttons showed up.
Copy !req
433. Yes, but they were Japanese.
Copy !req
434. Is there a clean white shirt,
dear, ready for the bomb?
Copy !req
435. You're not going to wear that nice
new one I gave you for Christmas!
Copy !req
436. I don't want that spoiled.
Copy !req
437. You can wear your old clothes for the
bomb and save the best for afterwards.
Copy !req
438. All right, dear. Well, is there an
old white one, without stripes?
Copy !req
439. I don't want stripes all over me.
Copy !req
440. I've never heard such nonsense.
Copy !req
441. We didn't think what colour
clothes we had on in the war.
Copy !req
442. Lucky to have any clothes at all,
with everything on coupons.
Copy !req
443. We interrupt this programme for an
official government announcement.
Copy !req
444. An enemy missile attack has been
launched against this country.
Copy !req
445. It is estimated that the missiles
Copy !req
446. will arrive in approximately
three minutes. Three minutes.
Copy !req
447. God almighty, ducks!
There's only three minutes to go!
Copy !req
448. Oh, dear. I'll just
put the washing on.
Copy !req
449. Come back, you stupid bitch,
and get in the shelter!
Copy !req
450. - How dare you talk to me like that, James!
- Shut up and get in!
Copy !req
451. There's no need to forget our manners
just because there's a war on.
Copy !req
452. Shut up! I'm trying to listen!
Copy !req
453. Take shelter immediately.
Copy !req
454. I've never heard such
language in all my life.
Copy !req
455. - For God's sake, shut up!
- Oh, dear! I've left the oven on!
Copy !req
456. Get in! Get in! Get in!
Copy !req
457. The cake will be burned!
Copy !req
458. Lie down. Keep away from windows.
Copy !req
459. Cover your head and eyes.
Copy !req
460. Do not look at the sky
or through windows.
Copy !req
461. Take shelter immediately.
Copy !req
462. Repeat. % stay indoors.
Copy !req
463. Do not leave your home.
Copy !req
464. The cake will be be burned!
Copy !req
465. The cake will be burned!
Copy !req
466. Blimey!
Copy !req
467. - Blimey!
- Well I never!
Copy !req
468. Well, I... I suppose... that was it.
Copy !req
469. I should think so.
Copy !req
470. Blimey!
Copy !req
471. You all right, dear?
Copy !req
472. Yes, thanks, love.
Copy !req
473. Oh, dear.
Copy !req
474. I do feel all shaky.
Copy !req
475. Never mind, ducks.
Copy !req
476. We're... We're still
in one piece, eh?
Copy !req
477. Yes, I think so.
Copy !req
478. - Wasn't it light?
- Yes.
Copy !req
479. Terrific.
Copy !req
480. You get terrific light
with these bombs.
Copy !req
481. - The heat!
- I know.
Copy !req
482. Phew!
Copy !req
483. It's still hot now.
Copy !req
484. I wonder how far we are
away from the epicentre.
Copy !req
485. Or was it the hypocentre?
Copy !req
486. I can't remember.
Copy !req
487. What's that, dear?
Copy !req
488. Well, it's the centre of it all. You know,
the... the bull's-eye, sort of.
Copy !req
489. Bang in the middle. Or...
Or middle of the bang, rather.
Copy !req
490. I should think we were
bang in the middle, dear.
Copy !req
491. A direct hit.
Copy !req
492. Oh, just look at all that glass.
Copy !req
493. No, no, it couldn't have
been a direct hit, dear.
Copy !req
494. We would have sustained greater damage
and suffered greater casualties.
Copy !req
495. Don't talk to me about damage.
Just look at those curtains!
Copy !req
496. Yes, but it would have been much
worse at the epi-hypo thing, dear.
Copy !req
497. I don't see how it could
have been much worse.
Copy !req
498. I'll never get them clean.
Copy !req
499. I'll give them a good soak tonight.
Blessed Germans!
Copy !req
500. Russkies, dear.
Copy !req
501. Mm! The shelter stood
up well, didn't it?
Copy !req
502. I constructed it in compliance
with governmental specifications.
Copy !req
503. - I hope the cushions aren't spoiled.
- I think some of them blew off in the blast.
Copy !req
504. I do like nice cushions.
Copy !req
505. Yes, but there's more important
things at the moment, ducks.
Copy !req
506. And curtains. Cushions and curtains.
Copy !req
507. I'd better get out and
put them in soak now.
Copy !req
508. - Stay in! Dear.
- Don't you shout at me, James.
Copy !req
509. But it's the whole point, dearest.
Copy !req
510. This is what the shelter's for.
Copy !req
511. But the blessed bomb
has gone off already.
Copy !req
512. Yes, but the fallout is
falling out now. See?
Copy !req
513. No, I don't see.
Copy !req
514. I can't see any soppy fallout.
Copy !req
515. I'm getting out.
Copy !req
516. - Just look at all that mess!
- No. No!
Copy !req
517. We must stay in.
We must do the correct thing.
Copy !req
518. Come on, now.
Copy !req
519. It's late. Let's get to bed.
Copy !req
520. Whatever is this box
of sand for, James?
Copy !req
521. It had better not be for
what I think it's for.
Copy !req
522. I've told you what I think
about that subject already.
Copy !req
523. Bomb or no bomb, Hitler or no Hitler,
Copy !req
524. I'm going to go to the
toilet in the proper manner!
Copy !req
525. No, dear, it's not an earth tray.
Copy !req
526. The governmental directive says
it's for cleaning plates, an'that.
Copy !req
527. Cleaning plates?
Copy !req
528. Why shouldn't we wash them properly,
and dry them on a nice clean tea towel?
Copy !req
529. We washed up properly
all through the war.
Copy !req
530. Well, it's to conserve emergency
water supplies, dear.
Copy !req
531. What is the world coming to?
Copy !req
532. - You see, dear...
- Tuck my feet in.
Copy !req
533. My old mother would
have a fit if she knew.
Copy !req
534. - Yes, but...
- Drying plates in an earth tray!
Copy !req
535. Catch me eating off a
plate covered in sand!
Copy !req
536. You'd be the first to complain.
Copy !req
537. Dear...
Copy !req
538. A bit of grit in your winkles and you're
spitting and splattering all over the place.
Copy !req
539. Tomorrow, you can put that thing outside
for someone's cat, where it belongs.
Copy !req
540. Ooh-er!
Copy !req
541. I'm getting fed up stuck in this thing!
I want to get out and tidy up!
Copy !req
542. Just look at all that mess out there!
Copy !req
543. We must do the correct thing, dear.
Copy !req
544. We must remain in the
inner core or refuge.
Copy !req
545. Ours not to reason why.
Copy !req
546. Our but to... something or other.
Copy !req
547. It tells you about this problem in the
County Council directive. I'll show you.
Copy !req
548. Let's see. Where is it?
Copy !req
549. Ah, yes. Here we are.
Copy !req
550. "During this period, reduced external stimuli
may produce problems of group behaviour."
Copy !req
551. Oh, yes, I see, dear.
Copy !req
552. "Steps to combat this may
include the following:
Copy !req
553. At intervals,
stimulate group activities."
Copy !req
554. Don't you dare start stimulating, James!
I'm not in the mood.
Copy !req
555. No, dear!
Copy !req
556. It means discussions, an' that.
Copy !req
557. It says, "Discussions, card games,
story-telling, quizzes, etcetera."
Copy !req
558. Perhaps we'd better
try story-telling.
Copy !req
559. You tell me one.
Copy !req
560. No, I can't. I'd feel funny.
Copy !req
561. You're not a baby.
Copy !req
562. - Well, pretend I am.
- Don't be silly.
Copy !req
563. - Go on.
- No.
Copy !req
564. You tell me one.
Copy !req
565. - I don't know any.
- There you are, then.
Copy !req
566. What about a quiz?
Copy !req
567. - I spy with my little eye...
- Oh, not that. It's childish, James.
Copy !req
568. Or it says here, "Discuss the
changed conditions after an attack,
Copy !req
569. and consider how to
overcome or adapt to them."
Copy !req
570. Well... et's start on that one, dear.
Copy !req
571. Who's going to start
the ball rolling, eh?
Copy !req
572. Shall I kick off, eh? Eh?
Copy !req
573. Right. Here goes.
Copy !req
574. I think... we could overcome the
changed conditions after an attack
Copy !req
575. by... all pulling our weight,
Copy !req
576. putting our shoulders to the wheel,
Copy !req
577. so that we all pull together,
now that our backs are against the wall.
Copy !req
578. And we can show these Jerries...
Copy !req
579. I mean Russkies,
just what we think of them.
Copy !req
580. And... Well, that's all, I think.
Copy !req
581. Hooray, James!
You ought to be a politician.
Copy !req
582. It says, "Reading aloud to
pass the time is a good idea."
Copy !req
583. It's a good job I got this
book from the public library.
Copy !req
584. It's called "Armageddon And You."
Copy !req
585. There's a terrific bit in it
about Western defences.
Copy !req
586. Now, just listen to this.
Copy !req
587. "There are three B.M.E. Ws...
Copy !req
588. Ballistic Missile Early
Warning systems.
Copy !req
589. One P.R.C. S... Perimeter Acquisition
Radar Attack Characterisation System.
Copy !req
590. Then there's N.O.R.A. D...
North American Air Defense.
Copy !req
591. And J.S. S...
Joint Surveillance System.
Copy !req
592. And then seven R.O.C. Cs...
Regional Operation Control Centres.
Copy !req
593. Then there's N.A.D.G. E...
Nato Air Defence Ground Environment,
Copy !req
594. and several A. W.C. S...
Airborne Warning and Control Systems.
Copy !req
595. All this is controlled by the N.C. A...
National Command Authority,
Copy !req
596. by means of the N.M.C. S...
National Military Command System.
Copy !req
597. And A.M.C. C...
Alternative Military Command Centre.
Copy !req
598. And N.E.A.C. C... National Emergency
Airborne Command Centre.
Copy !req
599. And it all comes under W. W.M.C.C. S...
Worldwide Military Command & Control System.
Copy !req
600. We should be all right with that
lot looking after us, eh, ducks?
Copy !req
601. Well, it didn't stop them
from bombing us, did it?
Copy !req
602. Oh... well, no...
I suppose not, really.
Copy !req
603. Still, just think,
it might have been worse.
Copy !req
604. Got to look on the
bright side, ducks.
Copy !req
605. Besides, another thing the powers
that be have created is called M.A.D.
Copy !req
606. - Mad?
- Yes, M.A.D.
Copy !req
607. M.A.D. Mutal Assured Destruction.
Copy !req
608. I read about it in
the public library.
Copy !req
609. I think my old dad was in the
Mutual Assured Insurance.
Copy !req
610. - A penny a week it was, in those days.
- This isn't insurance, ducks.
Copy !req
611. I think it covered the
cost of the funeral.
Copy !req
612. Yes, well, I suppose this is similar.
Copy !req
613. It all comes out of our taxes.
Copy !req
614. He had a lovely funeral, our dad.
Copy !req
615. You don't pay any taxes now.
You're retired, James.
Copy !req
616. No, I'm fully paid up.
Copy !req
617. My funeral is fully assured.
Copy !req
618. Time we went to bed.
Copy !req
619. It's getting dark.
Copy !req
620. I'll sleep in my clothes.
It's an all-out war situation.
Copy !req
621. I might be called out in the
night for an emergency.
Copy !req
622. They may need all able-bodied
men at short notice.
Copy !req
623. They'll soon change their minds when
they see your pot-bellied little body.
Copy !req
624. Morning, dear.
Copy !req
625. - How do you feel?
- Oh, dear.
Copy !req
626. - I ache all over.
- So do I.
Copy !req
627. I've got a terrific headache.
Copy !req
628. Oh... I still feel so tired.
Copy !req
629. Never mind, ducks. It's probably shock.
The bomb, an' that.
Copy !req
630. Oh, it's bound to upset us a bit.
Copy !req
631. After all, you don't get a nuclear
bomb every day of the week, do you?
Copy !req
632. Just as well. Never knew a
bomb could give you headaches.
Copy !req
633. Oh, yes, ducks. I told you these bombs
have a terrific effect on all sorts of things.
Copy !req
634. Right. A nice cup of
tea will perk you up.
Copy !req
635. Funny. They've cut the water off.
Copy !req
636. Still, that's logical.
It might be contaminated.
Copy !req
637. It's a wise precaution for the
protection of the population.
Copy !req
638. Use the bottles, dear.
Copy !req
639. Oh, yes, of course.
The emergency reserve supplies.
Copy !req
640. Most of them seem to have
been broken in the blast, dear.
Copy !req
641. The contents have been dissipated.
Copy !req
642. Funny. The electric's off, too.
Copy !req
643. Still, bound to be.
Copy !req
644. Conservation of energy resources.
Copy !req
645. A wise governmental precaution during
the period of national emergency.
Copy !req
646. Good job we've got that
little picnic stove, eh, dear?
Copy !req
647. Are there any aspirins?
Copy !req
648. Mind it doesn't pop,
James. I can't...
Copy !req
649. bear it when it pops.
Copy !req
650. Mm!
Copy !req
651. Nothing like a cup of tea, hm?
Copy !req
652. Crumbs! I must be dreaming.
Copy !req
653. The news! We're just in time.
Copy !req
654. No. Nothing. There's nothing.
Copy !req
655. All dead.
Copy !req
656. - What about the telly?
- Yes, of course.
Copy !req
657. They may have filmed it all.
Copy !req
658. We may see our bomb on the news.
Copy !req
659. No. All dead.
Copy !req
660. - No picture?
- No.
Copy !req
661. - Not even just the voices?
- No! Nothing.
Copy !req
662. - All dead.
- All dead?
Copy !req
663. - We'll have to wait for the paper.
- There should be some good pictures.
Copy !req
664. These bombs are quite spectacular.
Copy !req
665. - He's late already.
- Yes, well, that's logical.
Copy !req
666. There's bound to be delays and shortages
during the period of national emergency.
Copy !req
667. I'll miss the serial on Woman's Hour.
It was just getting interesting.
Copy !req
668. Crumbs! I haven't
tried the transistor.
Copy !req
669. No. Seems to have packed up.
Copy !req
670. Or probably needs new batteries.
Copy !req
671. Yes, I must pop down to Willis's.
Copy !req
672. They are a price these days.
Copy !req
673. 97p last time. Just fancy!
Copy !req
674. We ought to get one of these new hi-fis
when your endowment policy comes up.
Copy !req
675. Oh, yes. Or a stereo.
I've only got two years to go.
Copy !req
676. - I hope Ron and Beryl got back all right.
- Oh, yes, they'll be all right.
Copy !req
677. - Our Ron's a very careful driver.
- I didn't mean the driving so much, dear.
Copy !req
678. More the bomb.
Copy !req
679. I'll give them a ring.
Copy !req
680. Hello? Hello? Hello?
Copy !req
681. No, it's not even ringing.
Copy !req
682. Oh, I expect the lines are down.
Copy !req
683. They say there are red-hot
winds of 500 miles an hour.
Copy !req
684. I expect that would render
the lines inoperable.
Copy !req
685. I'll drop him them a line...
tell them to give us a ring.
Copy !req
686. - Do you think the post will be going?
- Oh, yes, bound to be.
Copy !req
687. The powers that be will endeavour
to maintain communications.
Copy !req
688. Remember the Blitz?
The post went on just the same.
Copy !req
689. It's government policy. It keeps
up the morale of the population.
Copy !req
690. I hope Ron is insured.
Copy !req
691. You did pay ours, didn't you, James?
Copy !req
692. Oh, yes, dear. The bomb won't cost
us a penny. We'll be well covered.
Copy !req
693. Mm. Lovely.
Copy !req
694. We can have some nice new
curtains for the summer.
Copy !req
695. Crumbs! I wonder if
it's all over already.
Copy !req
696. If it is all over,
I wish I knew who'd won.
Copy !req
697. We can't have lost the war, can we,
James? We won the other two.
Copy !req
698. No, of course not.
Copy !req
699. Remember old Churchill?
Copy !req
700. "We will never surrender."
Copy !req
701. Yes, but Churchill's not
prime minister now, dear.
Copy !req
702. No. Well... of course not.
Copy !req
703. I suppose it won't be the same without...
with old whatshisname, will it?
Copy !req
704. Who is it, anyway?
Copy !req
705. I must check the emergency supplies list.
We never had time to finish it.
Copy !req
706. It says here,
"... a notebook for messages."
Copy !req
707. Who are you going to
write messages to, dear?
Copy !req
708. Well, you never know. There's always
a need for vital messages in wartime.
Copy !req
709. Our lives might depend on a vital message
getting through to headquarters.
Copy !req
710. Oh, I see, dear.
Copy !req
711. And it says, "... a whistle
and gong for alarm."
Copy !req
712. Oh, what will you
do with that, dear?
Copy !req
713. Well, if I saw a Russky coming down the
lane, I'd bang the gong. If we had one.
Copy !req
714. - Wouldn't he shoot you, dear?
- What, just for banging a gong?
Copy !req
715. He'd be well within his rights to
shoot you if there's a war on.
Copy !req
716. Oh, crumbs! You really think so?
Copy !req
717. Just for banging a gong?
Copy !req
718. - I'm glad we haven't got a gong.
- We've got a whistle.
Copy !req
719. - Have we? Where is it?
- I'm not sure.
Copy !req
720. Hm. Never mind.
Copy !req
721. Let's leave it. Let's leave it.
Copy !req
722. Oh, I do feel tired.
Copy !req
723. Really exhausted and... all dizzy.
Copy !req
724. Nervous exhaustion due to
unaccustomed lifestyle.
Copy !req
725. That's what that is.
Copy !req
726. How's your headache, dear?
Copy !req
727. Just the same, thanks.
Aspirins didn't seem to do any good at all.
Copy !req
728. I think I've got a temperature.
I feel all hot and shivery.
Copy !req
729. You do look pale, dear.
Copy !req
730. - I should have an early night.
- I must clear up.
Copy !req
731. Suppose someone comes and sees the place
in this state? We might have visitors.
Copy !req
732. Yes. The Emergency Service
should arrive today.
Copy !req
733. I'm surprised they've
not come before.
Copy !req
734. I expect they've got a lot
of people to attend to.
Copy !req
735. Oh, yes. We're only
an outlying district.
Copy !req
736. They'll be heavily engaged
within the stricken area itself.
Copy !req
737. - Will it be like meals on wheels, dear?
- Yes, I should think so.
Copy !req
738. There'll be mobile canteens
and soup kitchens,
Copy !req
739. teams of doctors and nurses,
Copy !req
740. helicopters flying in blankets
and medical supplies.
Copy !req
741. It'll all move slowly
into action, you bet.
Copy !req
742. They'll all be here
in next to no time.
Copy !req
743. The governmental authorities have been
aware of this eventuality for years.
Copy !req
744. So continency plans will have
been formulated long ago.
Copy !req
745. We won't have to worry about a thing.
Copy !req
746. The powers that be will
get to us in the end.
Copy !req
747. I hope they come soon, dear.
Copy !req
748. I'm not feeling very well.
Copy !req
749. I wonder if we'd have been
better off in the cellar.
Copy !req
750. Oh, no, dear. Too damp.
Copy !req
751. Think of my rheumatism.
Copy !req
752. - Would you like a bite to eat, dearest?
- No, thanks.
Copy !req
753. I'm right off food.
Copy !req
754. So am I.
Copy !req
755. I must go to the toilet.
And I don't want any arguments.
Copy !req
756. Blessed dust everywhere.
Copy !req
757. Oh, crumbs! I forgot!
Copy !req
758. We're supposed to stay in
the inner core or refuge!
Copy !req
759. Well, it's too late now.
We've been out for ages.
Copy !req
760. Oh, blimey! It was the whole point!
Copy !req
761. I wonder if there's
any radiation about.
Copy !req
762. Well, I can't see anything.
Copy !req
763. Hurry up, dear, and get back
in the inner core or refuge!
Copy !req
764. We'd better have an early night.
Copy !req
765. Well, if you can't see
it and can't feel it,
Copy !req
766. it can't be doing you
any harm, can it?
Copy !req
767. Better try and...
eat something today, dear.
Copy !req
768. I was sick three times in the night.
Copy !req
769. My headache's even worse.
Copy !req
770. Let's have a walk round
the garden, dear.
Copy !req
771. I've just read it's only 48 hours in
the inner core or refuge, not 14 days.
Copy !req
772. A bit of fresh air is all we need.
I'll get a nice lettuce.
Copy !req
773. Crumbs! Look at the door!
Copy !req
774. The paint's all gone.
Scorched down to the wood.
Copy !req
775. Never mind, dear.
You said you'd burn it off one day.
Copy !req
776. The leaves have all gone
off the apple tree, ducks.
Copy !req
777. Oh, yes! What a shame!
Copy !req
778. Still, it'll be lovely in the spring.
Copy !req
779. It is spring, dear.
Copy !req
780. Oh! Listen!
Copy !req
781. A dog!
Copy !req
782. Oh, poor thing!
Copy !req
783. I expect he's hungry.
Copy !req
784. The heat has affected
the hedge, love.
Copy !req
785. - The beans look a bit shrivelled.
- And I think the lettuce have evaporated.
Copy !req
786. Well, they do have a
high water content.
Copy !req
787. - Can you see any fallout falling out, James?
- No, the sun is trying to get through.
Copy !req
788. They didn't blow up the sun,
thank goodness.
Copy !req
789. Oh, no, dear.
Science is still in its infancy.
Copy !req
790. What does the fallout
look like, dear?
Copy !req
791. I don't know. The...
government directive
Copy !req
792. neglects to mention how the
populous could recognise it.
Copy !req
793. I expect it's a bit like snow, ducks.
Only greyer.
Copy !req
794. The grass looks a funny colour.
Copy !req
795. Yes, I'll pop down to Mr Sponge's tomorrow
and get some bone meal and dried blood.
Copy !req
796. He might be closed due
to the bomb, dear.
Copy !req
797. What, old Sponge? Miss a day's trade?
Not him! He'd rather die!
Copy !req
798. It's very cloudy. Almost foggy.
Copy !req
799. We need some sun to
bring the garden on.
Copy !req
800. - The milkman's not been yet. He's late.
- Oh, well, that's logical.
Copy !req
801. He's bound to be a bit
late after the bomb.
Copy !req
802. Perhaps he's been called
up to fight, or something.
Copy !req
803. Oh, yes. Well... maybe.
Copy !req
804. But they'd have got a
woman or something.
Copy !req
805. - Quiet, isn't it?
- Yes.
Copy !req
806. I haven't seen no trains. No traffic.
Copy !req
807. I expect they're all having
a good lie-in after the bomb.
Copy !req
808. Terrible smell of burning.
Copy !req
809. Oh, yes. Well... bound to be.
That's logical.
Copy !req
810. It's like... roast meat.
Copy !req
811. Yes! Roast dinners.
Copy !req
812. I expect people are having their
Sunday dinners early this week,
Copy !req
813. due to the unexpected circumstances.
Copy !req
814. The road's gone all funny.
Seems to have melted a bit.
Copy !req
815. I expect that's why the milkman's late.
He's got stuck somewhere.
Copy !req
816. I wonder if there's a proper war on.
Copy !req
817. I wonder who's winning.
Copy !req
818. Never mind. It'll all
be in the papers, dear.
Copy !req
819. Come to think of it, he's late, too.
Copy !req
820. He missed us altogether yesterday.
Copy !req
821. Well, you can't expect things
to be normal after the bomb.
Copy !req
822. Difficulties will be experienced throughout
the duration of the emergency period.
Copy !req
823. Normality will only be assumed after
the sensation of hostilities.
Copy !req
824. Oh, dear. I think I'm
going to be sick again.
Copy !req
825. There, there, there, ducks.
Copy !req
826. All better now?
Copy !req
827. I had the most terrible
diarrhoea this morning.
Copy !req
828. Nerves, dear. It's just nerves.
Copy !req
829. I'm the same, and I'm a man.
Copy !req
830. Let's sit in the garden for a bit.
Copy !req
831. Don't you think we ought
to clear up, dear?
Copy !req
832. Yes, yes, later on.
Copy !req
833. I feel a bit... weak and dizzy.
Copy !req
834. We'll make a start soon.
Copy !req
835. Well, suppose Jerry
comes this afternoon.
Copy !req
836. No, they'd wait for the fallout to clear.
Too dangerous for a few days.
Copy !req
837. We've got plenty of time.
Copy !req
838. The situation is well
in hand, you bet.
Copy !req
839. Our boys will be lying
in wait for 'em.
Copy !req
840. I expect they've laid a trap.
Copy !req
841. Jerry will walk straight into it.
Copy !req
842. Hello! There's cloud coming up.
Copy !req
843. Looks like rain.
Copy !req
844. It's raining! I'm going in.
Copy !req
845. Rain! Yes!
Copy !req
846. We can save it!
Copy !req
847. Don't you get wet, James. You'll catch
a chill. We don't want you laid up again.
Copy !req
848. We'll be all right for water
now for a while, dear.
Copy !req
849. Do you think rainwater
is all right to drink?
Copy !req
850. Oh, yes, of course it is.
Copy !req
851. There's nothing purer than rainwater,
is there? Everybody knows that.
Copy !req
852. Perhaps I'd better boil it.
Best to be on the safe side.
Copy !req
853. Oh, yes, I suppose so. We don't
want to take unnecessary risks.
Copy !req
854. It may prejudice our
chance of survival.
Copy !req
855. What do you mean, James?
We have survived, haven't we?
Copy !req
856. Yes, I know. But after the bombs
on Japan, people died ages later.
Copy !req
857. I... forget exactly why.
Copy !req
858. Perhaps they didn't take precautions.
Copy !req
859. Yes. I expect they neglected
to do the correct thing and...
Copy !req
860. Oh, and anyway, that was years ago.
Copy !req
861. Science was in its infancy.
Copy !req
862. We're better equipped
to deal with the situation
Copy !req
863. in the light of modern
scientific knowledge.
Copy !req
864. Oh, yes. Nowadays, there's bound to be
all sorts of anditotes and protectives.
Copy !req
865. When the medics get through, they'll probably
just spray us with some anditote,
Copy !req
866. give us a couple of pills, and in
no time, we'll be as right as rain.
Copy !req
867. I'm glad we moved to the country
when you retired, dear.
Copy !req
868. Yes. Much more peaceful.
Copy !req
869. If we'd still been in London,
we'd probably have been bombed out by now.
Copy !req
870. Yes. Unless we'd been evacuated.
Copy !req
871. Oh, that was only children.
And women too, of course.
Copy !req
872. I'd have been requisitioned
for essential war work.
Copy !req
873. But you're far too old.
Copy !req
874. You're retired.
Copy !req
875. Yes, but all age groups are
pressed into emergency service
Copy !req
876. during times of national
emergency, dear.
Copy !req
877. I'd have been an air-raid warden.
Copy !req
878. Or a stretcher bearer
for the Red Cross...
Copy !req
879. and St John's Ambulance Brigade,
or a fireman in the docks.
Copy !req
880. Jerry up above,
fire bombs raining down.
Copy !req
881. Up the turntable ladder.
Copy !req
882. Carrying women to safety.
Copy !req
883. Trust you to think of that, James.
Copy !req
884. I wish we had neighbours.
Copy !req
885. I'd like to ask someone
what's going on.
Copy !req
886. Well, I warned you, dear.
Copy !req
887. "This cottage is a
bit isolated," I said.
Copy !req
888. "You're not going
to like it," I said.
Copy !req
889. I wish we didn't have to stay put.
Copy !req
890. I quite fancy a pint.
Copy !req
891. I said I'd see old George down the
Half Moon today for a game of darts.
Copy !req
892. I expect he'll be busy with
his cows after the bomb.
Copy !req
893. It might have put them off laying...
milking, I mean.
Copy !req
894. Yes, it may have curdled
the milk, or something.
Copy !req
895. These bombs have a
terrific effect on things.
Copy !req
896. He may have switched over to yoghurt.
Copy !req
897. Yes. Lots of people's lives are going to
be considerably affected by the bomb.
Copy !req
898. London Airport will have
been knocked out, I expect.
Copy !req
899. Yes. Bang goes a lot of
people's holidays this year.
Copy !req
900. The Yanks won't come dropping in.
Copy !req
901. Oh, no. Not unless to help
us against the Russkies.
Copy !req
902. Remember in the war?
"Got any gum, chum?"
Copy !req
903. We used to stand on
the railway embankment,
Copy !req
904. and the Yanks used to shower us with
gum and chocolate and K Rations.
Copy !req
905. Terrific, it was.
Copy !req
906. I wonder if the Russkies chew gum.
Copy !req
907. "Got any gumski, comrade?"
Copy !req
908. You won't be able to say that, James.
They're the enemy.
Copy !req
909. Oh, yes. I keep forgetting.
Copy !req
910. Crumbs!
Copy !req
911. We won't have to try
and kill them, will we?
Copy !req
912. Oh, I... I suppose so.
Copy !req
913. That's what you're supposed
to do to the enemy, isn't it?
Copy !req
914. Crumbs! I hadn't really
thought of that.
Copy !req
915. You mean to say if one of them comes
through that door this afternoon,
Copy !req
916. I'm supposed to try and kill him?
Copy !req
917. Well, not you, James.
After all, you're retired.
Copy !req
918. Well, what would I kill him with?
Copy !req
919. A bit of old iron, I suppose.
Copy !req
920. I must mend those
socks for you, James.
Copy !req
921. They'd have Tommy guns.
They always do.
Copy !req
922. He'd mow us down, Hilda!
Copy !req
923. If a German sees you in these socks,
he'll think you're just a peasant.
Copy !req
924. "Die, you Englishe
pig dogs!" he'd say.
Copy !req
925. "Enemies of der Fatherland!
Heil Hitler!"
Copy !req
926. Oh. Oh, no, sorry. No, no,
that's the last time.
Copy !req
927. I keep forgetting,
it's the Russkies now.
Copy !req
928. Just suppose that one did come.
Copy !req
929. A great big Russian.
Copy !req
930. Big overcoat, great big
boots with snow on them.
Copy !req
931. Great furry hat, all covered
in belts of ammo and grenades.
Copy !req
932. Bloomin' great Tommy gun
pointing straight at us!
Copy !req
933. What am I supposed to do?
Copy !req
934. You could offer him a
cup of tea, I suppose.
Copy !req
935. Argh!
Copy !req
936. We mustn't be collaborators, Hilda.
Copy !req
937. They'd shave our heads.
Copy !req
938. Russians like tea. A cup of
tea wouldn't hurt, surely?
Copy !req
939. I suppose it's better than being
mown down in a hail of bullets.
Copy !req
940. Crumbs! They might round us up and
take us off to the concentration camps.
Copy !req
941. Why? We've not done anything.
Copy !req
942. We're not Jews, or anything.
Copy !req
943. - Your grandfather was a Jew.
- He was not!
Copy !req
944. Well, only partly.
Copy !req
945. They'd send us to Liberia.
Down the salt mines.
Copy !req
946. - Whatever for?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
947. They always do.
Copy !req
948. Perhaps Russians eat a lot of salt.
Copy !req
949. I expect they're quite nice, really.
Copy !req
950. I saw the Russians
dancing on telly once.
Copy !req
951. All in boots.
Copy !req
952. They seemed nice.
Copy !req
953. Oh, yes. I bet some of them are nice.
Copy !req
954. There were supposed to be
some nice Germans last time.
Copy !req
955. I think we're running out of water again,
dear. The rainwater's all gone.
Copy !req
956. Oh, we've still got a pint of milk.
Copy !req
957. Better save that for teatime.
Copy !req
958. I can't bear tea without milk.
Copy !req
959. - Posh people have lemon in it.
- I know! Horrible!
Copy !req
960. Crumbs!
Copy !req
961. I wonder if it was an American
missile falling a bit short.
Copy !req
962. That happened in the war...
blokes getting shelled by their own guns.
Copy !req
963. Be funny if it was an American
missile that had landed on us.
Copy !req
964. Wouldn't it, dear?
Copy !req
965. I can't see it's very funny, James.
Copy !req
966. No, well...
Funny peculiar, I mean.
Copy !req
967. Are they worse than the Russian ones?
Copy !req
968. Oh, I shouldn't think so, love.
I expect they're all much of a muchness.
Copy !req
969. They all work on the same principle.
Copy !req
970. It's called... megadeath, I think.
Copy !req
971. So many millions of
people dead per bang.
Copy !req
972. Any ketchup, dear?
Copy !req
973. I expect the quantity
is similar either way.
Copy !req
974. Are all the bangs about
the same size, then?
Copy !req
975. Oh, no! There's one megaton,
Copy !req
976. and 10 megaton, an' that.
Copy !req
977. It's... just a question of
how big a bang you want to make
Copy !req
978. and how many...
people you want to kill.
Copy !req
979. More baked beans, dear?
Copy !req
980. No, thanks. I'm a bit off food.
Copy !req
981. Then there's the... overkill, see?
Copy !req
982. That's where they kill more
people than they really need to.
Copy !req
983. Say you want a bang big enough
to kill one million people,
Copy !req
984. and you go and use a
three-million-people bang.
Copy !req
985. It's terrifically wasteful of energy,
in the present economic climate.
Copy !req
986. I see, dear.
Copy !req
987. Yes, there's one thing about
the present economic situation.
Copy !req
988. - I mean...
- Such a shame we can't wash up.
Copy !req
989. in order to conserve
world energy resources,
Copy !req
990. the powers that be will only use
the smallest possible bang.
Copy !req
991. Oh, I can't bear it!
Copy !req
992. I expect that's why we're still here.
Copy !req
993. We're running out of crockery.
Copy !req
994. We could say we owe our lives to
the world economic procession.
Copy !req
995. Put the kettle on, will you, ducks?
Copy !req
996. There's no water, dear.
Copy !req
997. Oh, no, no. Of course.
Copy !req
998. Just... Just have to have milk, then.
Copy !req
999. That pint's gone bad, dear.
Copy !req
1000. The fridge has been off.
Copy !req
1001. Oh, heck! Well...
Copy !req
1002. a black coffee, then.
Copy !req
1003. There's still no water, dear.
Copy !req
1004. Well, what... What are we
going to drink, eh? Eh?
Copy !req
1005. What... What... What are we
going to drink, for God's sake?
Copy !req
1006. Don't shout, dearest.
Copy !req
1007. I'm sorry, love.
Copy !req
1008. I'm just... terribly thirsty.
Copy !req
1009. How about a nice sweet, dear?
Copy !req
1010. It's a blackcurrant fruit pastille.
Copy !req
1011. There's only one left.
Copy !req
1012. - You have it.
- No, you have it.
Copy !req
1013. We'll... We'll cut it in half.
Copy !req
1014. That's... That's fair.
Copy !req
1015. - Help!
- I'm coming! I-I-I'm coming! I'm coming!
Copy !req
1016. A rat! A rat!
Copy !req
1017. A rat in the lavatory!
Copy !req
1018. Eeww! I saw it!
Its tail waving in the pan!
Copy !req
1019. Never mind, dear. Never mind.
Copy !req
1020. No, no, no. It won't
hurt you, dearest.
Copy !req
1021. The parts all dry and its...
head was round the bend...
Copy !req
1022. just its bottom end
sticking out. A tail!
Copy !req
1023. Oh! A tail!
Copy !req
1024. Horrible! Horrible!
Copy !req
1025. There, there, dear.
Copy !req
1026. Don't worry, I... I'll pop down to Willis's
in the morning and I'll get some warfarin.
Copy !req
1027. At least it shows that the
drains aren't blocked.
Copy !req
1028. Oh, dear!
Copy !req
1029. I do feel queer!
Copy !req
1030. All shaky.
Copy !req
1031. Well, it's bound to upset you a bit.
Copy !req
1032. The... The bomb, I mean.
Copy !req
1033. Have you got... lipstick on, dear?
Copy !req
1034. Lipstick?
Copy !req
1035. What do you mean, James?
Copy !req
1036. You know I haven't
worn lipstick for years.
Copy !req
1037. - Well... your lips are all red.
- Oh!
Copy !req
1038. Oh, my!
Copy !req
1039. My gums are bleeding!
Copy !req
1040. I thought there was a...
a funny taste.
Copy !req
1041. Well Shrinking of gums, causing ill-fitting
dentures. That's... That's what that is.
Copy !req
1042. Yeah... Better get to the dentist
when the emergency has rescinded.
Copy !req
1043. There was blood when I went
to the toilet this morning.
Copy !req
1044. Yes, yes. Me, too.
Copy !req
1045. P-piles, that is. H-hovaloids.
Copy !req
1046. A common complaint in...
in middle-aged people like ourselves.
Copy !req
1047. I'll... I'll pop down to... to the chemist
when the crisis pales into insignificance,
Copy !req
1048. and I'll... I'll get some
of those suppositories.
Copy !req
1049. Oh!
Copy !req
1050. Oh, dear.
Copy !req
1051. I think I'm going to be sick.
Copy !req
1052. Now, there, there, ducks.
There, there. There, there.
Copy !req
1053. Now, now. All better now. Now, please.
Don't upset yourself, love.
Copy !req
1054. Please, please. Now, don't dry.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
Copy !req
1055. I expect it's due to the vibration,
you know. Like that day in the car.
Copy !req
1056. You remember that time we
went to Bournemouth, hm?
Copy !req
1057. And you were sick in the coach.
Copy !req
1058. Don't worry, ducks. Don't worry.
Copy !req
1059. There can't be anything
wrong with you.
Copy !req
1060. I expect it's... it's just the...
the after-effects of the bomb.
Copy !req
1061. Oh, I... I... I do...
fancy a nice cup of tea.
Copy !req
1062. Do you think the cows have been
affected by the bomb, dear?
Copy !req
1063. No, I... I shouldn't think so.
Copy !req
1064. They're... They're all
out in the country.
Copy !req
1065. Supplies of milk will be maintained.
Copy !req
1066. It is... essential for the maintenance of...
healthy bones and teeth.
Copy !req
1067. Yes, but we live in
the country, dear.
Copy !req
1068. Yes, yes, yes, I... I know, dear.
Copy !req
1069. Well, the grass is
all dead and funny.
Copy !req
1070. Yes... well...
Copy !req
1071. I don't know.
Copy !req
1072. I expect there may be...
a temporary containment of supplies.
Copy !req
1073. I suppose we'd better just sit
here and wait for help to arrive.
Copy !req
1074. Yes. The... The emergency services
will have sprung into action
Copy !req
1075. at the first alarm signal.
Copy !req
1076. I hope they get here
before the enemy.
Copy !req
1077. Oh, I... I hope Beryl and
Ron got back all right.
Copy !req
1078. Oh, they'll... they'll be all right.
Copy !req
1079. They'll... They'll have been safely
home long... long before the bomb.
Copy !req
1080. Our Ron's... a sensible boy.
Copy !req
1081. At the first siren, he'd get the whole
family down to the shelters right away.
Copy !req
1082. There aren't any shelters, dear.
Copy !req
1083. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1084. No, no, I... I forgot.
Copy !req
1085. But he'll... he'll be all right.
Copy !req
1086. I gave him the governmental leaflet.
Copy !req
1087. He'll... He'll be
all right with that.
Copy !req
1088. That will afford him the maximum
protection available to the populous.
Copy !req
1089. He'll... He'll take cover immediately
Copy !req
1090. and... adopt all the prescribed
precautionary measures.
Copy !req
1091. He... He's no fool, our Ron.
Copy !req
1092. He's not likely to get
hot under the collar.
Copy !req
1093. He... He won't go to pieces.
Copy !req
1094. The whole family will...
will stick together.
Copy !req
1095. Oh! Look!
Copy !req
1096. There's funny spots on my legs.
Copy !req
1097. They're various veins.
That's... That's what that is.
Copy !req
1098. That's... That's a common
complaint amongst...
Copy !req
1099. amongst the middle-aged
segment of the populous.
Copy !req
1100. Oh, that's... that's...
that's nothing to worry about.
Copy !req
1101. They don't look like veins to me.
Copy !req
1102. I don't like the look of it.
Copy !req
1103. Oh... Oh, you are... you are a baby!
Copy !req
1104. You're a worn... worn...
born worrier, you are, you know.
Copy !req
1105. Now, you just try and look on
the bright side, eh, ducks? Hm?
Copy !req
1106. Look! Look!
Copy !req
1107. I've even got funny
blotches on my skin, see?
Copy !req
1108. And I... I'm a man.
Copy !req
1109. Yes... Yes, too much tinned food.
That's all that is.
Copy !req
1110. Yes.
Copy !req
1111. Pilchards never did agree with me.
Copy !req
1112. I must put some skin
lotion on those spots.
Copy !req
1113. Yes. Oh, they'll...
they'll soon clear up.
Copy !req
1114. I'll pop down to the chemist...
chemist in the morning.
Copy !req
1115. I'll get some... get some ointment.
Copy !req
1116. Yes.
Copy !req
1117. We could do with some
lozenges or pastilles, too.
Copy !req
1118. - I've still got a terrible throat.
- Yes, so have I.
Copy !req
1119. I wonder...
Copy !req
1120. if they'll be able to
sell us some water.
Copy !req
1121. I'm going to have an
early night, James.
Copy !req
1122. We could do with a good long
rest after that blessed bomb.
Copy !req
1123. Oh, yes, yes. It's bound to take
it out of you, a thing like that.
Copy !req
1124. Yeah, it's a... it's a
shock to the system.
Copy !req
1125. Oh, yes. I expect so.
Copy !req
1126. Oh!
Copy !req
1127. Look!
Copy !req
1128. My hair's coming out!
Copy !req
1129. Don't... Don't worry, dearest.
Copy !req
1130. Don't worry, don't worry.
Copy !req
1131. Women don't go bald. No!
Copy !req
1132. That's... That's a scientific fact.
Copy !req
1133. Shall we get into those
paper bags again?
Copy !req
1134. Well, whatever for, dear?
Copy !req
1135. Well, you never know.
Copy !req
1136. There might be another
one while we're asleep.
Copy !req
1137. Well, I... I suppose it...
wouldn't hurt.
Copy !req
1138. It... It would be a...
a sensible precautionary m-measure
Copy !req
1139. in the... in the...
in the circumstances.
Copy !req
1140. After all, really, this is
an all-out war situation,
Copy !req
1141. and... Well, I mean,
Copy !req
1142. another I... IBM... might...
might come over.
Copy !req
1143. Oh, it's stuffy in these bags.
Copy !req
1144. Yes.
Copy !req
1145. Now you know what it
feels like to be a potato.
Copy !req
1146. I should hate that,
being buried in the ground.
Copy !req
1147. Oh, yes. Yes, so would I.
Copy !req
1148. - Give me... cremation every time.
- Oh, me too.
Copy !req
1149. We'd better just stay here and wait
for the... emergency services to arrive.
Copy !req
1150. Y-y-yes. Yes, they'll... they'll take...
they'll take good care of us.
Copy !req
1151. We won't have to worry about...
about a thing.
Copy !req
1152. Just... Just leave
everything to them.
Copy !req
1153. The governmental authorities...
will know what to do with us.
Copy !req
1154. The powers that be...
Copy !req
1155. will get to us in the end.
Copy !req
1156. You have got the box with our medical
cards and birth certificates, haven't you?
Copy !req
1157. Yes, dear, yes.
Copy !req
1158. They're quite safe.
Copy !req
1159. Shall we pray, dear?
Copy !req
1160. - Pray?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1161. Oh, crumbs. Who... Who to?
Copy !req
1162. Well, God, of course.
Copy !req
1163. Oh... Oh, I see.
Copy !req
1164. Y-yes. If you think it... it... would be...
would be the correct thing. Hm?
Copy !req
1165. - It can't do any harm, dear.
- OK.
Copy !req
1166. Here goes.
Copy !req
1167. Dear... sir...
Copy !req
1168. No, that's wrong.
Copy !req
1169. Well... How... How...
How do you start?
Copy !req
1170. Oh, God...
Copy !req
1171. Our help... in ages past?
Copy !req
1172. That's it. Keep it up.
Copy !req
1173. Almighty and most
merciful Father...
Copy !req
1174. Oh, that's good.
Copy !req
1175. Dearly beloved,
Copy !req
1176. we are gathered...
u-u-unto thee...
Copy !req
1177. I shall fear no evil.
Copy !req
1178. Thy rod... and thy staff...
comfort me
Copy !req
1179. all... the days...
the days of my life.
Copy !req
1180. L-Lay me down... in...
in green pastures...
Copy !req
1181. I... I can't remember any more.
Copy !req
1182. That was nice.
Copy !req
1183. I liked the bit about
the green pasture.
Copy !req
1184. Oh, oh, yes, yes.
Copy !req
1185. Into the valley of the
shadow of death...
Copy !req
1186. No more, love.
Copy !req
1187. No more.
Copy !req
1188. Rockabye baby
Copy !req
1189. On the tree top
Copy !req
1190. When the wind blows
Copy !req
1191. The cradle will rock
Copy !req
1192. Oh, babe
Copy !req
1193. Hate to see you fall that way
Copy !req
1194. Better speak to the
powers that be today
Copy !req
1195. Hey Joe, where you goin'
with that gun in your hand?
Copy !req
1196. You can take your revenge
Copy !req
1197. But you'll still feel bad
Copy !req
1198. There must be more to
life than lucky strikes
Copy !req
1199. And some unlucky ones
Copy !req
1200. And folded flags and pipes
Copy !req
1201. And drums
Copy !req
1202. I stood in the wings with you
Copy !req
1203. Our lives in the hands
of a second-rate actor
Copy !req
1204. Holding the high ground
Copy !req
1205. Of some old stage
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1206. Oh, babe
Copy !req
1207. How do these jaded
stars get so far away?
Copy !req
1208. Will they catch what
the moral had to say?
Copy !req
1209. Hey Joe, where you goin' with
that dogma in your head?
Copy !req
1210. You can prove your point
Copy !req
1211. But your kids will still be dead
Copy !req
1212. Bring down the curtain
Copy !req
1213. This soap opera must surely close
Copy !req
1214. Before the cold wind blows
Copy !req
1215. Hey Joe, where you goin'
with that gun in your hand?
Copy !req
1216. You can take your revenge
Copy !req
1217. But you'll still feel bad
Copy !req
1218. Bring down the curtain
Copy !req
1219. This show must close
Copy !req
1220. Before the cold wind blows
Copy !req
1221. So rockabye baby
Copy !req
1222. On the tree top
Copy !req
1223. When the wind blows
Copy !req
1224. The cradle will rock
Copy !req
1225. There must be more to
life than lucky strikes
Copy !req
1226. And some unlucky ones
Copy !req
1227. And folded flags and pipes
Copy !req
1228. And drums
Copy !req