1. Do you know
the expression "a man's man" ?
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2. A man's man
is the leader of the pack.
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3. The kind of man other men
look up to, admire and emulate.
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4. A man's man
is the kind of man who...
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5. just doesn't get
what women are about.
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6. Nick, my ex-husband,
is the ultimate man's man.
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7. I probably never
should have married him.
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8. I don't think he understood
a thing about me.
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9. So, this is Nick Marshall's office.
Wanna peek?
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10. Don't worry.
He never gets in before 10:00.
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11. He'll send you on more errands than
anyone in the entire company...
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12. 'cause he can't do
anything for himself.
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13. He's the least politically
correct guy in the universe.
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14. He's the king of all
the T & A ads we do.
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15. You want babes in bikinis?
He's your man.
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16. My dad? How can I
best describe him?
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17. He's always been...
like an uncle to me.
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18. Yeah, Uncle Dad.
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19. Although,
Nick was a charmer.
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20. Completely irresistible
at first,
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21. which feeds into
the whole "man's man" thing.
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22. You know about
Nick's mother, right?
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23. Because once you understand
about Nick's mother,
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24. you understand Nick.
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25. Nick was actually
born and raised in Las Vegas.
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26. Nick's mother was a real,
honest-to-God Las Vegas showgirl.
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27. When otherboys were outside
riding their bikes and playing ball,
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28. Nick was backstage
hanging with the girls.
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29. He was their mascot,
their little pet.
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30. They couldn't get enough
of those baby blues.
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31. - Bang! Bang!
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32. if you ask me, I'd say Nick's
mother just about killed it...
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33. for every woman
Nick would ever meet.
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34. She had a lot of sugardaddies
in her life,
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35. but only one true love—
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36. the boy
with the family jewels.
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37. 17, 18, 19, 20.
Let me see that, kid.
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38. And since Nick
didn't have a father,
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39. his mom made sure he was always
surrounded by strong role models.
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40. - Come here, huh?
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41. - Men her boy could look up to.
- Now you're ready, huh?
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42. Keep countin', kid.
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43. There was nothing normal about
the way Nick Marshall was raised.
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44. So, what can you expect?
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45. You don't have to be Freud
to figure out...
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46. this was one cockeyed way
to enter the world.
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47. Oh!
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48. Don't you ever knock?
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49. It's almost 10:00. You gotta go
to work, and I gotta vacuum in here.
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50. And don't forget - Another one
who wears vanilla perfume.
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51. Don't you know any women
who don't want to smell like candy?
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52. - Toss me my lighter, babe?
- Babe?
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53. What am I,
a little pig?
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54. I don't have time
to make you no onion bagel,
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55. so please do not start
to beg, okay?
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56. And for the record, I don't like
finding these things in your sofa.
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57. What kind of woman
wears underwear like this?
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58. Hey, my mother wore
underwear like that.
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59. Just put them somewhere,
will you, babe?
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60. Well, "babe" is gonna put it
in the trash where it belongs.
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61. - So, your mother should excuse me.
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62. Did you ever consider dating
a woman who wears real underwear?
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63. The kind that covers the entire
bottom the way it's supposed to?
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64. - No. But if I do, should I call?
- Oh!
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65. I'm gonna go clean
the kitchen.
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66. You couldn't toast me
a little bagel, could you?
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67. Light cream cheese, tomatoes.
Capers if we have any.
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68. Please! Come on.
I can't think on an empty stomach.
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69. Okay. Allright. But only because
you didn't call me that pig name.
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70. Okay, you got it, babe.
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71. Mr. Marshall,
how are you doing today?
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72. - I'm fit as a dancing bear.
- I'll get that cab for you.
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73. - That's some set of pipes you got.
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74. - You have an excellent day, sir.
- And you.
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75. At ease.
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76. - Oh, oh, I'm so sorry!
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77. I absolutely
did not mean to do that.
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78. - Here. Let me get that for you.
- It's okay.
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79. No, I'm mortified.
I can see your hands are full.
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80. - Thank you.
- Sorry. Let me get the door.
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81. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
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82. Halfcup, grande, nonfat,
thick foam, wet cap, no lid.
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83. "Halfcaff," grande, nonfat,
thick foam, wet cap, no lid.
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84. - So, when do you find out?
- Um, today, I think.
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85. Unless I didn't get it, and then
I will just never find out.
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86. I'm sure I didn't get it. They were
looking for an "earth mother" type.
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87. I overheard the director
say I was more space cadet.
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88. I'm an actress.
I can be whatever you want.
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89. - Is that true, can you?
- Oh, better be true.
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90. Otherwise, I'm stuck playing ditsy
coffee girl the rest of my life.
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91. Thank you.
Hon? Thanks.
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92. Oh! Hi, Nick. Hi.
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93. Oh, Lola, my love. When are you
gonna let me buy you dinner?
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94. Nick, I don't know why you don't
believe me. I'm not your type.
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95. Trust me on this one. Cappuccino,
extra foam. Tall or grande?
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96. Grande. Or at least
I like to think so.
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97. - Next.
- You know, rumor has it...
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98. I'm getting some really
big news at work today.
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99. At least come out with me.
Celebrate. I'll buy you a coffee.
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100. Memo to you:
I work in a coffee shop.
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101. Hi. What can I get you?
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102. - Hi. I'll take—
- Want me to stop asking you out?
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103. Sorry. This will
just take a sec.
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104. Because, Lola,
give me the word and I'll stop.
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105. Yes, I'm gonna give you the word
because I'm an actress.
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106. Or at least I'm trying to be one.
I'm trying to concentrate on that.
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107. So, you know, it would be
a good thing, if you wouldn't mind,
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108. to stop asking me out!
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109. Honey, you seem
so stressed.
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110. I am stressed.
I have a lot on my plate.
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111. So, let's not talk
about this now.
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112. Why don't I meet you here,
say, tomorrow? 10:00? 10:30?
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113. - Okay, that would be good.
- So, that's a date?
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114. It's a date.
Thank you.
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115. Sir,
that was inspiring.
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116. I know.
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117. Good morning, Sloane-Curtis.
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118. - Good morning, Mr. Marshall.
- Hi, honey.
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119. - What's the dirt?
- I was at breakfast this morning—
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120. - Hey, Norm! You winning?
- Of course.
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121. I heard Miller's shopping around,
looking for a new agency.
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122. Miller Lite. I know.
I'm all over it.
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123. Also, I heard Darcy McGuire left
B.B.D. & O. Good morning, Angela.
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124. - You're kidding. Left or was fired?
- I don't know.
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125. Everyone there
is thrilled to get rid of her.
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126. Well, so much for
edgy female vision.
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127. So, that girl we met
last night at the club,
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128. nothing happened after
you put her in the cab, right?
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129. It did?
Something happened?
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130. But she said she had to
be in bed early.
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131. I had her in bed by 11:00.
Or was it quarter to?
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132. You - You're like a genius,
you know that?
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133. What can I tell you, buddy? I'm
blessed. And today is my lucky day.
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134. Not only is my ex-wife remarrying—
right now, as a matter of fact—
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135. but Wanamaker called me himself,
wanted to see me first thing.
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136. - Called twice to confirm.
- Call me when he makes it official.
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137. It's not gonna be as easy to suck up
to "creative director," you know.
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138. Not to worry. I'll make us a lunch
rez at the Drake to celebrate.
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139. Don't count your chickens,
huh? 1:00?
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140. Pick you up.
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141. Can I borrow this?
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142. - Hey, Dina.
- Hi.
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143. Do you know the difference
between a wife and a job?
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144. - What is it?
- After ten years, job still sucks.
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145. - That's a good one, huh?
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146. I wouldn't do that if I were you.
That's not a good idea, no.
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147. - Oh, Mr. Marshall, hi.
- Hey.
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148. I put the storyboards on your desk.
Picked up your shoes from Barney's.
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149. Got your glasses fixed.
There was no charge.
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150. This morning's staff meeting
was cancelled.
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151. And I got your cigarettes.
They're next to your laptop.
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152. This morning's staff meeting
was cancelled.
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153. - That's what I was told.
- Hmm.
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154. Good morning, girls.
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155. Good afternoon, sire.
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156. Hey, anybody know why
the staff meeting was cancelled?
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157. Nobody called us.
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158. Oh, but Mr. Wanamaker wants
to see you as soon as you get in,
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159. which I told his office
was 15 minutes ago.
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160. - I know.
- You couldn't show up on time?
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161. You know you're being promoted.
But you look very sharp, by the way.
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162. - Thank you.
- Like a creative director.
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163. - Very distinguished.
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164. You able to handle yourselves
on the 44th floor? Be truthful.
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165. Are you kidding?
We were made for the 44th floor.
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166. Now, get up there already,
so we can break out the bubbly.
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167. - Don't wait up.
- Don't wait up.
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168. - He's so adorable.
- He says the cutest things.
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169. Boy.
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170. Sorry, buddy. I was in the board
meeting that would never end.
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171. - Have you been here long?
- A couple minutes. That's all.
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172. Jess, can I get a cup of decaf
and a couple Tylenol?
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173. And see if we got any Echinacea.
And I need some club soda.
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174. I got something on my tie.
Know what? Just get me another tie.
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175. I saw the mock-ups you did for
Johnny Walker. They're fantastic.
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176. Oh, that's my job, Dan.
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177. So, you know I'm not great
at making speeches,
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178. especially when I haven't
got you to write them for me.
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179. So, I'll do my best. I've been
in this racket over 30 years.
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180. Let me tell you something,
it doesn't get any easier.
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181. As a matter of fact,
it gets harder and harder.
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182. The '80s
were our glory days.
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183. They were all about
alcohol, tobacco and cars.
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184. I felt like
I was on top of my game.
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185. And then in the '90s, men stopped
dominating how dollars were spent,
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186. and we lost our compass.
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187. Women between 16 and 24 are
the fastest-growing consumer group.
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188. Girls who were born in the mid-'80s
control our advertising dollars.
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189. Sorry. No Echinacea.
Hi, Nick.
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190. - Hey.
- Red or lavender?
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191. Red. No, no, lavender.
That'sgood.
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192. Lavender's good. While we've been
shooting beer commercials...
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193. with the Swedish bikini team,
the industry has been transformed.
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194. We were the agency in town
ten years ago.
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195. Now we're struggling
to be third.
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196. if we don't evolve and think
beyond our naturalability,
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197. we're gonna go down.
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198. "Think beyond our natural -"
I'm not quite clear what you mean.
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199. What do you know
about Darcy McGuire?
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200. Oh, hey, I heard on the whisper
she just left B.B.D. & O.
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201. I never met the woman, but
I hear she's a real man-eater.
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202. She won that Cleo last year we
should have won for the add about—
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203. Oh, yeah, right.
That was her? I forgot about that.
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204. Yeah, I wish I had. Oh, boy, I hear
she is a bitch on wheels.
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205. - That's very funny.
- Yeah, why?
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206. 'Cause I just hired her.
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207. To do what?
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208. You know I love you, Nick,
but it's a woman's world out there.
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209. Getting into a women's psyche
is not exactly your strong suit.
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210. You can get into their pants
better than anybody on Earth,
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211. but their psyche
is a whole other ball game.
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212. You hired Darcy McGuire
to do what?
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213. She hasn't done it on her own yet,
but somebody was gonna grab her.
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214. And she's smart, Nick.
She's very smart.
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215. You made her creative director,
didn't you?
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216. Sorry. This isn't easy, but I got
the board breathing down my neck.
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217. She's coming in this afternoon.
You'll meet her.
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218. - Come on. Roll with this.
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219. Work with her because she's got what
I need to keep this place afloat.
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220. She's got what you need,
meaning she's a woman.
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221. You know how we can
compete with that?
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222. He's coming. He's coming.
He's coming.
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223. Not so fast, girls.
Put it on ice.
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224. We'll break it out soon.
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225. We're not moving
to the 44th floor?
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226. Not today.
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227. - Oh.
- Okay, Gigi, one more.
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228. Gigi, your ex is here.
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229. Honey, you look like...
$48 million.
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230. Thank you.
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231. - May I kiss the bride?
- Sure.
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232. - Nick.
- Nick! Ted.
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233. Congratulations, Ted.
You're a lucky man.
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234. Well, thanks.
I happen to agree.
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235. So, you're going on a cruise.
Two weeks, huh?
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236. Well, actually, the cruise
is just the last week.
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237. Alexandra has an itinerary,
and I faxed one...
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238. to your office yesterday,
to your apartment last week.
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239. Ted's office has one,
as does the school.
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240. - In case I've fallen off the planet?
- You never know.
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241. Hey, here she is. Pretty in pink.
So, two whole weeks together?
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242. - Yeah, how you gonna handle it?
- I'm gonna love it.
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243. You can take care of your old man.
Cook for me. Get my slippers.
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244. - Yeah, that'll be happening.
- Alexandra has a boyfriend now.
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245. - Mom!
- So he won't be surprised.
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246. You have a boyfriend?
You're only 13 years old.
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247. Am I?
I thought I was 15.
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248. We're gonna be fiine.
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249. Look, I wanna meet Cameron.
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250. - Okay if I meet Dad at his place?
- Is it all right?
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251. - Yeah, well, I -
- What time?
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252. 8:00. 9:00, maybe?
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253. - 7:30.
- Okay.
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254. - Bye, Mom.
- Oh, honey. I'm gonna miss you.
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255. I'm gonna miss you too.
Ted, have a good time.
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256. - Bye, pumpkin.
- Bye.
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257. - Nick.
- Honey.
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258. Later.
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259. Yeah, 7:30's fine.
Thanks for asking.
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260. And the name's Dad.
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261. - Here you go.
- Thanks.
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262. - Hey, I heard. I can't believe this.
- My next headache.
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263. Don't worry.
We'll get through it.
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264. Yeah.
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265. Everyone, everyone,
meet Darcy McGuire.
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266. - Oh, jeez.
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267. - My goodness. Everybody showed up.
- Darcy, how are you?
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268. - Nice to see you. Hi!
- Pleasant surprise.
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269. - God, what a small world.
- Welcome aboard.
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270. I'm so glad to meet you.
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271. Hello. I'm Darcy.
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272. Hi. I'm Nick Marshall.
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273. Oh, I've heard
a lot about you, Nick.
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274. - I've heard a lot about you too.
- Don't worry, can't all be true.
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275. Let's hope not.
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276. Hey.
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277. Hey, standing room only.
It's a first.
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278. I'm very, very excited for you all
to meet Darcy McGuire.
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279. - Darcy's extraordinary reputation...
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280. as a leader in the field
precedes her.
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281. At B.B.D. & O., Darcy led
a creative team...
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282. that snagged $500 million
in new business wins.
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283. And that was
just last year alone.
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284. At Sloane-Curtis, we've prided
ourselves on our strategic thinking.
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285. Now it's time for us to step up
and prove ourselves creatively...
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286. in the marketplace.
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287. And I'm thrilled that Darcy
has consented to move across town,
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288. join our team and lead us
into the 21st century.
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289. Thank you, Dan.
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290. And thank you all
for that warm welcome.
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291. Let me start off by saying
the feeling is mutual.
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292. I am absolutely
thrilled to be here.
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293. When I first started
in this business, it was my dream...
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294. to work at Sloane-Curtis.
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295. I even believe I applied
for a job here twice.
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296. - Somebody call personnel.
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297. But it was B.B.D. & O.
that offered me a home.
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298. And what I learned there
was that any success I had...
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299. was a direct result of the team
of people that I work with.
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300. I know that two heads
are better than one.
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301. I know that five heads
are better than two.
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302. And I know that if we put our heads
and our hearts into this company,
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303. we will deliver,
I know that.
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304. Now, I love challenges.
I love hard work.
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305. I look forward to sitting at this
very table tossing ideas around...
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306. until what I fear will be
the wee hours of the morning.
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307. I want the work we do
to say something about who we are.
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308. - How we think, what we feel.
- I'm sorry.
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309. Excuse me.
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310. So, as our friends in Hollywood say,
"Let's cut to the chase."
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311. How are we gonna turn
this company around?
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312. When Sears decided to go
after women in their advertising...
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313. and said, "Come see
the softer side of Sears,"
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314. their revenues
went up 30%.
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315. Thirty percent.
That's huge.
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316. Female-driven advertising
totalled $40 billion last year.
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317. And Sloane-Curtis' share
of that was?
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318. Zero.
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319. If you want to sell
an anti-wrinkle cream...
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320. or a Ford Mustang
to a woman - forgive me-
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321. but this is the last place
you bring your business.
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322. And we can't afford to not have
a piece of a $40 billion pie.
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323. So, I have put together
a little kit for everybody.
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324. Nobody panic.
This is supposed to be fun.
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325. Every product in this box
is looking for new representation...
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326. right now, and they're
all made for women.
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327. I'm pretty sure all the women here
are familiar with these products,
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328. so for the men let's just
briefly run through them.
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329. - Here you go, Nick.
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330. Thank you.
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331. Each kit contains
anti-wrinkle cream,
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332. mascara,
moisturizing lipstick,
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333. bath beads,
quick-dry nailpolish,
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334. an at-home waxing kit,
a more wonderful Wonderbra,
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335. - a pregnancy test, hair volumizer,
- Oh, sorry.
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336. pore cleansing strips,
Advil,
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337. control-top pantyhose
and a Visa card.
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338. Now I want everybody
to come up with something—
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339. for one product, for two,
the whole box— whatever moves you.
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340. We'll get together tomorrow,
have a little show-and-tell.
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341. How's 8:30 for everybody?
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342. Great. See you at 8.:30
tomorrow morning.
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343. A nightmare.
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344. Read my lips -
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345. night-mare.
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346. - Miss, miss, miss!
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347. That's another 500 bucks.
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348. - We play our dangerous game.
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349. A game of chess...
against our old adversary.
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350. "Adversary" ?
Surely you mean adversary, old boy?
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351. Vinaigrette
for arugula salad.
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352. - ... women's political caucus.
- Tuck the pelvis under. Lifting.
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353. Buns of steel.
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354. I'd steal her buns
if I could.
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355. Here it comes.
Yes, he nailed the dismount!
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356. Now let's check in
on the women's finals.
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357. Women's finals.
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358. There's way too much estrogen
on television these days.
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359. And as we all know,
the perfect antidote for estrogen...
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360. is Frank.
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361. Oh, I need some Frank.
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362. Help me, buddy.
Help me now.
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363. - Don't panic.
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364. This is supposed to be fun.
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365. - Okay. Okay, I can do this.
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366. I'm a professional.
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367. Lipstick. All right.
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368. Lipstick on a guy's collar?
No, no, women will hate that.
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369. Lipstick on a guy's collar
that won't rub off.
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370. No, that's even worse.
Copy !req
371. Okay, okay, okay,
I gotta think like a broad.
Copy !req
372. All right, I'm a broad.
Copy !req
373. I see lipstick...
Copy !req
374. on a dark-haired
Tahitian beauty,
Copy !req
375. standing under a waterfall,
wearing nothing but a thong.
Copy !req
376. Water cascading
down her back.
Copy !req
377. I'm a lesbian.
Copy !req
378. I gotta change the music.
Copy !req
379. I wonder. I wonder.
Copy !req
380. Oh, Alex, thank you.
Copy !req
381. Ah, jackpot!
Copy !req
382. Oh, she's hot.
Copy !req
383. - You go, girl.
Copy !req
384. - Looks like big dandruff.
Copy !req
385. Smooth, yeah, smooth.
Oh, cool.
Copy !req
386. Wow, mascara.
Here we go.
Copy !req
387. Nice, thick lashes.
Copy !req
388. Ow! Ow! Shit, that stings!
What the fu—
Copy !req
389. Okay, fine. Well, I need
some anesthetic here.
Copy !req
390. Beautiful.
Copy !req
391. Okay. Now...
Copy !req
392. for the piece de resistance,
we have—
Copy !req
393. We have the right leg.
Yes, excellent.
Copy !req
394. And the hot, hot wax.
Very hot wax.
Copy !req
395. Here we go.
Copy !req
396. Jeez! Ooh, that's hot.
Copy !req
397. Okay, test of manhood.
Here we go.
Copy !req
398. Okay, we passed.
Copy !req
399. And next... we immediately apply
disposable cloth...
Copy !req
400. over the waxed... area.
Copy !req
401. Straight ahead.
Copy !req
402. Yes.
Copy !req
403. Yeah... it feels
kinda nice, yeah.
Copy !req
404. I don't know why women complain
about waxing their legs.
Copy !req
405. "In one smooth motion,
yank the strip quickly...
Copy !req
406. in the opposite direction
of the hair growth."
Copy !req
407. No, no,
that would be north.
Copy !req
408. One, two, three.
Copy !req
409. Women are insane.
Who would do that more than once?
Copy !req
410. I don't know. Why would
anybody even do the other leg?
Copy !req
411. Ah, yes,
that's right, girls.
Copy !req
412. Wax it off
and cover it up.
Copy !req
413. Yeah. Ally-oop!
Ooh, wait.
Copy !req
414. Oh, shit!
I guess this takes a little finesse.
Copy !req
415. One down, two to go.
Copy !req
416. Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
417. Okay.
Copy !req
418. Oh.
Copy !req
419. Honey, you just lost
yourself five pounds.
Copy !req
420. All right, where's my Wonderbra?
Copy !req
421. Oh.
Copy !req
422. - Let's see which end is up here.
Copy !req
423. - Hi!
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
424. Exfoliating?
Copy !req
425. - Yo.
- You must be, um—
Copy !req
426. Cameron, my boyfriend.
This is Nick.
Copy !req
427. - Her father.
- That's nice nail polish you got.
Copy !req
428. Yeah, I'm just doing a new
research thing at work, you know.
Copy !req
429. - Get into the female psyche—
- Whatever.
Copy !req
430. Yeah.
Copy !req
431. I should probably
take off.
Copy !req
432. - No, you don't have to.
- It's cool. I'll see you later.
Copy !req
433. - Bye.
- Bye.
Copy !req
434. - I'll call you.
- Okay.
Copy !req
435. Nice meeting you, eh?
Copy !req
436. Yeah.
Copy !req
437. - Excuse me. Did you kiss that guy?
- Where did you get this?
Copy !req
438. - Your zipper thing. You're kissing?
- You went through my stuff!
Copy !req
439. I needed some music.
It was just sitting there.
Copy !req
440. What are you, allergic to listening?
You never listen when I talk.
Copy !req
441. If I'm stuck staying here, then
my stuff's gonna be around, okay?
Copy !req
442. I don't want you to just
go through everything.
Copy !req
443. - I don't listen to you?
- You think you listen to me.
Copy !req
444. - Yeah.
- You do?
Copy !req
445. What's my boyfriend's name?
Copy !req
446. Uh, it's—
Copy !req
447. - Good night.
- No, no, wait, come back.
Copy !req
448. Dustin is his name.
Dustin, that's his name.
Copy !req
449. Right? No.
Don't slam the—
Copy !req
450. C-Carson.
Copy !req
451. Carmen. Carmine!
Carmine!
Copy !req
452. - Carmichael!
Copy !req
453. I can't remember a guy's name, they
figure you're not listening to them.
Copy !req
454. What do women want?
Copy !req
455. I know it has three syllables.
Copy !req
456. Cameron.
His name is Cameron!
Copy !req
457. Whoa!
Copy !req
458. Oh, Jesus.
That's so dangerous.
Copy !req
459. Ninety percent
of all accidents happen—
Copy !req
460. Oh, what the hell
has he done now?
Copy !req
461. I hope he's not dead.
Copy !req
462. No, I'm fine.
Copy !req
463. I'm fine, I think.
Copy !req
464. Are you sure?
Copy !req
465. No. Yes.
Copy !req
466. Cleaner pores.
Thicker hair.
Copy !req
467. Very weird headache.
Really weird.
Copy !req
468. Now I gotta clean up bras
and home pregnancy tests?
Copy !req
469. The man doesn't pay me enough
for the things I have to do.
Copy !req
470. Oh, Jesus,
he's wearing panty hose?
Copy !req
471. Now he's a cross-dresser?
Copy !req
472. I was just experimenting with a few
products from work, all right?
Copy !req
473. - Did I say anything?
- Oh, God, it's 8:00 already.
Copy !req
474. To sleep till 8:00. He'd fire
my ass if I wasn't here to wake him.
Copy !req
475. Whew, are we
in a mood today.
Copy !req
476. Same as every other day.
Copy !req
477. Honey, make me a little bagel
with cream cheese.
Copy !req
478. You know I can't think
on an empty stomach.
Copy !req
479. For your information,
I'm not even hungry.
Copy !req
480. Who said you were?
Copy !req
481. - Mr. Marshall.
- Good morning, Flo.
Copy !req
482. Let me get you
a cab, sir.
Copy !req
483. Sure.
Copy !req
484. - Thank you, Flo.
Copy !req
485. You're welcome, my little sweet ass.
Copy !req
486. What did you say?
Copy !req
487. Me? Nothing.
Copy !req
488. - You sure?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
489. You know what?
I think I'll walk today.
Copy !req
490. - I could use a little fresh air.
- Have a great day, sir...
Copy !req
491. with your fine ass
looking like Shaft!
Copy !req
492. Whew! I could just
ride that puppy!
Copy !req
493. - Watch where you're going.
Copy !req
494. - You okay, sir?
- Fine. I'm fine.
Copy !req
495. Did I turn the coffee maker off?l
walked over, but did I turn it off?
Copy !req
496. I can't remember. I saw the light,
but did I turn the switch off?
Copy !req
497. - What? What?
- One kiss doesn't make me a lesbian.
Copy !req
498. - Does it?
- What?
Copy !req
499. - Hmm?
- Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
500. Two slices of toast, 150 calories,
plusa tab and a half of butter,
Copy !req
501. Estrogen is good for the heart
but bad for the breasts.
Copy !req
502. - What?
- My kid doesn't need Ritalin.
Copy !req
503. - Get him to listen to what I say.
- Monsieur, I need to poop.
Copy !req
504. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
505. - Aah!
Copy !req
506. Oh, God,
he nearly killed me.
Copy !req
507. Too bad he missed.
Copy !req
508. - Good morning.
- Good mor—
Copy !req
509. Don't look up. He'll make me
hear another disgusting joke.
Copy !req
510. He's such a schmuck.
Copy !req
511. She thinks I'm a schmuck?
Copy !req
512. Whoa, lighten up
on that aftershave, buddy.
Copy !req
513. Oh, what? Oh, yeah,
like you've got the perfect body?
Copy !req
514. Jeez.
Copy !req
515. - Hi, Mr. Marshall.
- No, no, don't say it.
Copy !req
516. What? I was going to tell you
the Gillette budget's on your desk.
Copy !req
517. And I went out last night and
got you that Merlot that you wanted.
Copy !req
518. Here's
your credit card back.
Copy !req
519. Thank you.
Copy !req
520. - You okay?
- Me? Yeah.
Copy !req
521. Do you realize that I have
an lvy League education...
Copy !req
522. and that running your stupid
errands has put me into therapy?
Copy !req
523. Take me seriously and give me
some real work to do.
Copy !req
524. Oh, yeah, I remember why.
Because I have a vagina!
Copy !req
525. - Aah!
- Anything else I can get for you?
Copy !req
526. Oh, good, you're on time.
Copy !req
527. - Morning.
- You look a little different.
Copy !req
528. You know, I think
maybe it's his hair.
Copy !req
529. - It looks thicker, doesn't it?
- Gimme your coat.
Copy !req
530. - Oh, oh, okay.
- Mmm, you smell good today.
Copy !req
531. - New cologne?
- No.
Copy !req
532. Th-That's it?
No other thoughts?
Copy !req
533. - What do you mean?
- You feeling all right, doll?
Copy !req
534. "Linens, linings,
loans, locks."
Copy !req
535. - Hello, Nick?
Copy !req
536. Uh, Nick?
We gotta go.
Copy !req
537. What are you doing?
It's 8:30.
Copy !req
538. Can't go. Gotta find a doctor.
Need a cure. Can't go.
Copy !req
539. - Definitely can't go.
- You sound like the guy from Shine.
Copy !req
540. - What's wrong with you?
- I don't need a doctor.
Copy !req
541. Maybe I need,
like, an exorcist.
Copy !req
542. Under "E" for exorcist.
Copy !req
543. There are no exorcists
in the greater Chicago area.
Copy !req
544. Let's pull it together and sell
some sensitive feminine shit, okay?
Copy !req
545. Sorry to interrupt.
Here you go.
Copy !req
546. By the way, your hair looks
really good today, Mr. Marshall.
Copy !req
547. And it's okay
you pay me minimum wage...
Copy !req
548. because I use the company phone
to call my boyfriend in Israel...
Copy !req
549. for an hour.
Copy !req
550. Tell me you heard that.
Copy !req
551. Your hair looks really good.
So what?
Copy !req
552. The - The other thing!
What she was thinking thing.
Copy !req
553. I don't think she thinks too much.
She's not exactly a genius.
Copy !req
554. I'll have you know she went
to an Ivy League school.
Copy !req
555. - Doubt that.
- The thing about the boyfriend,
Copy !req
556. calling him in Israel,
you heard that, yes, no?
Copy !req
557. I didn't hear it
'cause she didn't say it.
Copy !req
558. Pull it together. We're gonna
be late for our sorority meeting.
Copy !req
559. Morgan, in case I, like,
maybe die today—
Copy !req
560. Can we walk? 'Cause in case
you live, I don't wanna be late.
Copy !req
561. Here's what happened,
just in case the coroner asks.
Copy !req
562. I got drunk, and I tried on
all the products from the pink box.
Copy !req
563. - You did not.
- I put on all the products—
Copy !req
564. nail polish, panty hose,
everything.
Copy !req
565. - You tried on the panty hose?
- Yes, okay.
Copy !req
566. Anyway, I was drying my hair,
and I fell over and tripped,
Copy !req
567. fell into the bathtub
and electrocuted myself.
Copy !req
568. I blacked out,
and when I woke up...
Copy !req
569. I could hear what every woman
around me was... thinking.
Copy !req
570. - Uh-huh.
- Talking personal, private stuff.
Copy !req
571. The stuff that nobody is
supposed to hear, I hear that stuff.
Copy !req
572. You know what I'm saying?
I can hear what women think.
Copy !req
573. Can you? Good, 'cause that's not
a talent guys have these days.
Copy !req
574. You don't believe me.
You want me to prove it?
Copy !req
575. - See this attorney coming toward us?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
576. Oh, she thinks
you're overpaid and gay.
Copy !req
577. - What?
- I hear what they're all thinking.
Copy !req
578. It's driving me crazy. Even
French poodles, I can hear them.
Copy !req
579. So we're on the same page,
I need you to know you sound insane.
Copy !req
580. You freaked out over losing
the job, which I understand.
Copy !req
581. But if you tell anybody you can hear
the thoughts of a French poodle—
Copy !req
582. What if I jumped out the window?
Jumped through the plate glass.
Copy !req
583. Would they notice? Probably not
if I didn't get glass on anybody.
Copy !req
584. That girl with the fruit is funny.
Suicidal, but she is funny.
Copy !req
585. Nick, what girl
with the fruit?
Copy !req
586. - The—
- Huh?
Copy !req
587. Last one to arrive.
Wants me to know I'm not his boss.
Copy !req
588. Okay, you're a star.
I get the message.
Copy !req
589. She thinks I'm late because I want
her to know she's not my boss.
Copy !req
590. - What is she talking about?
- Put a lid on it. I'm begging you.
Copy !req
591. Ooh, I can't believe
I have butterflies in my stomach.
Copy !req
592. Feels like
the first day of school.
Copy !req
593. Okay, so let's see
how we did.
Copy !req
594. Nobody wants to go first.
Copy !req
595. Everyone's avoiding me,
except Nick Marshall.
Copy !req
596. Unbelievable. The only one
with good eye contact.
Copy !req
597. At least he's looking at my eyes
and not down my blouse.
Copy !req
598. - Nick, what did you come up with?
- Me?
Copy !req
599. What did I come up with?
Copy !req
600. He's so wired.
Copy !req
601. Mostly...
Copy !req
602. I thought about
the moisturizing lipstick,
Copy !req
603. never having worn
lipstick myself.
Copy !req
604. I tried to imagine what I'd want
from a lipstick, if I were a woman.
Copy !req
605. - Oh, spare me.
- Okay, he's trying to be honest.
Copy !req
606. You know,
to be perfectly honest,
Copy !req
607. I thought of a Tahitian beauty,
bathing under a waterfall.
Copy !req
608. Oy, I'm gonna die here
with these kinds of ideas.
Copy !req
609. But, uh, you know, I'm
working on it, and it's evolving.
Copy !req
610. Anybody interested in an idea
involving the Swedish bikini team?
Copy !req
611. I do know them all
personally.
Copy !req
612. - Oh, what an idiot.
- Jerk, grow up already.
Copy !req
613. - What a pig.
- You are so foul.
Copy !req
614. I should have asked
for more money. Gina?
Copy !req
615. I spent the night trying to figure
out how to sell Advil just to women.
Copy !req
616. You know what?
You should sell it to women like me.
Copy !req
617. I take it every time
I need to fake a headache.
Copy !req
618. Works like a charm.
Copy !req
619. I-I got a great one.
It just came to me.
Copy !req
620. - Do you mind if I interrupt, Dina?
- Sure, go ahead.
Copy !req
621. I hate that
you've seen me naked.
Copy !req
622. All right.
Copy !req
623. So, we're in a bedroom,
the lights are out.
Copy !req
624. There's a woman in bed,
and she's taking an Advil.
Copy !req
625. Her husband suggestively
rubs her back, and we say, "Advil.
Copy !req
626. "So mild and gentle,
you can take it...
Copy !req
627. even when you're
faking a headache."
Copy !req
628. Woman turns to her husband and says,
"Not tonight, I need an Advil. "
Copy !req
629. - He's back.
Copy !req
630. What? Come on. That doesn't
reach women on a personal level?
Copy !req
631. - No.
- Women do that, don't they?
Copy !req
632. - I don't.
- No?
Copy !req
633. Sue Cranston, you've done that,
haven't you? Faked a headache to—
Copy !req
634. No, Nick, I haven't.
Thanks for asking.
Copy !req
635. No, wait, wait, wait.
Be honest now.
Copy !req
636. I mean, you've been married
what, ten, twelve years?
Copy !req
637. You've never faked a headache?
It doesn't work like a charm?
Copy !req
638. No, Nick, I haven't.
Copy !req
639. I mean, no, it doesn't,
okay? Jeez.
Copy !req
640. - What an asshole!
- I guess I'm off base here.
Copy !req
641. What's good is you're looking at
Advil from a woman's point of view.
Copy !req
642. Um, I don't think Advil
will go for it,
Copy !req
643. and I'm pretty sure every woman
in America will hate it.
Copy !req
644. Other than that,
I thought it was great.
Copy !req
645. You're on the right track.
Hang in there. Go ahead.
Copy !req
646. Great antenna there, babe.
The poodle give you that one?
Copy !req
647. - What are you doing home early?
- I have my first migraine.
Copy !req
648. This is hideous. My boyfriend
feeling me up in front of my father.
Copy !req
649. Don't think anything. The outlook
wasn't good for the Mudville Nine.
Copy !req
650. - The score was four to two.
- Oh, shit. Where's my bra?
Copy !req
651. - Where is it?
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
652. Oh, God!
Copy !req
653. Okay, look. Everybody
just needs to chill out here.
Copy !req
654. There'll be no chilling.
Just get your stuff... and move on.
Copy !req
655. Come on, man. Relax.
Copy !req
656. - How old are you?
- I just turned 18.
Copy !req
657. Well, she's 15.
She was 10 five years ago.
Copy !req
658. You know what I'm saying,
stud? Now get out.
Copy !req
659. Dad! We're going
to the prom. Don't ruin it.
Copy !req
660. - You're not going with this punk.
- How did you know about prom?
Copy !req
661. Look, I don't know.
Mom told me, all right?
Copy !req
662. It's not gonna happen
because he's too old for you.
Copy !req
663. I know what boys want, and he's not
getting it from my daughter. Door.
Copy !req
664. Your daughter?
Suddenly, I'm your daughter.
Copy !req
665. - How am I related to this asshole?
- Another one.
Copy !req
666. - I want Mom.
- Look, I'm just gonna take off.
Copy !req
667. - I'm real sorry about this.
- Save it.
Copy !req
668. That's mine.
Copy !req
669. Where— Where are you—
Copy !req
670. Great day.
Copy !req
671. Okay, I'm not losing
my mind.
Copy !req
672. - I'm already losing my mind.
Copy !req
673. - This will work. It's gotta work.
Copy !req
674. - This has gotta work. Shit. Perfect.
Copy !req
675. Come on!
Do your thing!
Copy !req
676. Turn me into me again!
Copy !req
677. Oh, good, I'm not dead.
Copy !req
678. Oh, please!
Copy !req
679. Please, please, please.
Tell me I got rid of it.
Copy !req
680. - Please be a woman. Please.
Copy !req
681. - For what city, please?
- You couldn't do me a favor...
Copy !req
682. and think of your favorite color
or TV program, could you?
Copy !req
683. For what city, please?
Copy !req
684. Flo? Hey, Flo!
Copy !req
685. - Flo?
Copy !req
686. I can't believe this.
Copy !req
687. I need a woman.
Copy !req
688. - Try this one.
- Oh, I love this. This is fantastic.
Copy !req
689. Oh, it's my mother's birthday
next week, so I need two gift sets.
Copy !req
690. You've been a great help.
I appreciate it.
Copy !req
691. Do you have a Kleenex back there
so I can wipe that off?
Copy !req
692. I'm sure she'll like it.
It's one ofourbestsellers.
Copy !req
693. - Do I get a free gift with this?
- Yes, you get a travelbag.
Copy !req
694. Thank you.
Copy !req
695. Stop it. You've got the dress.
Treat yourself to lipstick.
Copy !req
696. - No, I have enough at home.
- You might as well get one, right?
Copy !req
697. I have too many lipsticks. I have
piles of them. I don't need it.
Copy !req
698. - I'll buy it for you.
- if he doesn't answer in two rings,
Copy !req
699. - I swear to God!
- Hi, blue eyes.
Copy !req
700. - Dr., you may not remember me.
- Yes?
Copy !req
701. I'm Nick Marshall. I came here about
ten years ago with my ex-wife, Gigi.
Copy !req
702. - Oh, Christ, not him.
- Oh, good, you remember me.
Copy !req
703. I'm sorry to barge in like this,
but I don't know who to turn to.
Copy !req
704. I'm afraid to go to work.
I'm afraid of my door woman.
Copy !req
705. I'm— I'm afraid
to get a cup of coffee.
Copy !req
706. Mr. Marshall,
please slow down. Slow down.
Copy !req
707. Let me make sure I completely
understand what it is you're saying.
Copy !req
708. All right. All right.
Copy !req
709. I hear what women think.
Copy !req
710. Yeah. You know,
Mr. Marshall,
Copy !req
711. this kind of imaginary
displacement scenario...
Copy !req
712. - I'm not imag—
- really isn't my thing.
Copy !req
713. I do, however, have a very good
friend over at University Hospital,
Copy !req
714. who specializes in male menopause
and testosterone depletion.
Copy !req
715. She's fabulous. I think what I'll do
is just give her a ring...
Copy !req
716. and send you over there.
Copy !req
717. Why did I answer my door? I was so
into buying that lamp on eBay.
Copy !req
718. - How much was it going for?
- How much was what going for?
Copy !req
719. The lamp on eBay.
Copy !req
720. Oh, I see. That's good.
Very clever.
Copy !req
721. - Dr. Skolnick, please.
- You don't believe me. Try another.
Copy !req
722. Go on. Pick a number.
Give it a whirl. Any number.
Copy !req
723. Okay. A number
between one and—
Copy !req
724. - A million. Why not?
- One and a million.
Copy !req
725. All right.
Copy !req
726. Mm.
Copy !req
727. 644,998— 99— 90.
Copy !req
728. Wanna make a decision here?
Copy !req
729. - Oy vay!
- Oh, you can say that again.
Copy !req
730. - I didn't say anything.
- Doesn't mean I didn't hear it.
Copy !req
731. Okay. Okay. Let's say—
Let's say I do believe you.
Copy !req
732. - Yeah.
- You can hear what women think.
Copy !req
733. Even though I'm a grown
woman of... 51.
Copy !req
734. - 47.
- Oh, my lips are sealed.
Copy !req
735. Holy crap!
Oh, forgive me.
Copy !req
736. - That's all right.
- But this is phenomenal.
Copy !req
737. - You can hear inside my head.
- Yes.
Copy !req
738. Why would you want to get rid
of such a brilliant gift?
Copy !req
739. Well, for starters,
Copy !req
740. almost every woman I know
thinks I'm an asshole.
Copy !req
741. - What I thought when I met you.
- Doc, give me a break here.
Copy !req
742. Mr. Marshall, you might
find this a little unorthodox,
Copy !req
743. but would you mind
awfully if I smoked?
Copy !req
744. - No, no, I understand.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
745. Let's try to look at
the up side of this, shall we?
Copy !req
746. You know, Freud died at age 83
still asking one question,
Copy !req
747. "What do women want?"
Copy !req
748. Wouldn't it be strange and wonderful
if you were the one man on Earth...
Copy !req
749. finally able to answer
that question?
Copy !req
750. Listen to me, Nick.
Something extraordinary...
Copy !req
751. and I think miraculous
has happened to you.
Copy !req
752. My advice is
you must learn from this.
Copy !req
753. You know, there isn't
a single woman that I treat...
Copy !req
754. that doesn't wish her man
understood her better.
Copy !req
755. If men are from Mars and women are
from Venus and you speak Venusian,
Copy !req
756. the world can be yours.
Copy !req
757. I don't know how this
happened to you or why,
Copy !req
758. but you may just be
the luckiest man on Earth.
Copy !req
759. lmagine the possibilities.
Copy !req
760. if you know
what women want,
Copy !req
761. you can rule.
Copy !req
762. Hubba-hubba, here he
comes, looking awfully good today.
Copy !req
763. And I haven't had sex
in four months. Okay, six.
Copy !req
764. Why did I tell him to stop
asking me out? I'm an idiot!
Copy !req
765. - Idiot! Idiot!
Copy !req
766. Hey, Nick, how's it going?
Copy !req
767. Lola, my love.
I can't take no for an answer.
Copy !req
768. - About what?
- About what?
Copy !req
769. About us.
Copy !req
770. Just don't hurt me, Nick.
I've been hurt too many times.
Copy !req
771. I know how hard it is
to go out with someone new.
Copy !req
772. I mean, there's always
that fear of,
Copy !req
773. well, getting hurt.
Copy !req
774. - At least that's how I feel inside.
- You do, really?
Copy !req
775. - All the time.
- Me, too, all the time.
Copy !req
776. Let's just take it slow
and see how it goes.
Copy !req
777. Slow is good.
Copy !req
778. Slow is really good.
Copy !req
779. - Yeah.
- Are you free tonight?
Copy !req
780. So, you don't think I'm gay?
You're saying you never said that?
Copy !req
781. - I never said that.
- Doesn't mean you didn't think it.
Copy !req
782. Is it the hair? The highlights
happen to be natural.
Copy !req
783. - Morgan, I have a meeting.
- You don't think I'm overpaid?
Copy !req
784. - You never said that.
- I don't think I ever said that.
Copy !req
785. Okay.
Copy !req
786. Who has he been talking to?
Copy !req
787. - Morning.
- Morning.
Copy !req
788. Well, then check your E-mail.
I sent it over—
Copy !req
789. Hi, Annie.
How's the boyfriend in Israel?
Copy !req
790. I want to thank you
for picking up that wine.
Copy !req
791. That's above and beyond.
I appreciate it so much. Thank you.
Copy !req
792. Uh, can I get you
a cup of coffee or, um,
Copy !req
793. some water
or any kind of beverage?
Copy !req
794. No, but thank you. If I'm thirsty,
I know where the coffee room is.
Copy !req
795. That's right, guys, don't help.
Just walk right past me.
Copy !req
796. Why don't you step on
my hands, you big—
Copy !req
797. - Here you go. How you doing?
- Oh.
Copy !req
798. Oh, fine.
Thank you, Mr. Marshall.
Copy !req
799. - You're welcome, um—
- Erin.
Copy !req
800. Erin. You be careful,
all right, Erin?
Copy !req
801. Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
802. Heavy.
Copy !req
803. What do you know?
There is life on this planet.
Copy !req
804. Breakfast Tuesday sounds great.
Absolutely.
Copy !req
805. Thanks for the info.
And thanks for the champagne.
Copy !req
806. You too.
Okay, bye-bye.
Copy !req
807. Set meeting, Nike,
women's division.
Copy !req
808. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
809. Well, you've been here five minutes.
Looks like you've been here a year.
Copy !req
810. Oh, yeah. I'm compulsive.
It's a problem.
Copy !req
811. Why do I always
feel like he's checking me out?
Copy !req
812. I wonder what he's got
up his sleeve.
Copy !req
813. - Great photographs.
- No clue they're all Bourke-White.
Copy !req
814. They're not all Margaret
Bourke-White, are they?
Copy !req
815. Yeah, they are.
Copy !req
816. Wow. It's
a beautiful collection.
Copy !req
817. - Thanks. So how's it going?
- Mmm.
Copy !req
818. You know, I was gonna
ask you the same thing.
Copy !req
819. It's starting slow.
Copy !req
820. - I'm evaluating staff, that's hard.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
821. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
822. Well, you know, I don't
wanna beat around the bush.
Copy !req
823. - What I'd like to propose—
- He's proposing so soon?
Copy !req
824. - Oh, sorry. Sorry.
- Oh!
Copy !req
825. - Uh, yes—
- Excuse me.
Copy !req
826. - You got another one. Wow!
- Thanks.
Copy !req
827. As I was saying,
Copy !req
828. I know nothing about the products
you're going for personally,
Copy !req
829. but I do believe
I can sell anything...
Copy !req
830. once I know
what the buyer's needs are.
Copy !req
831. And what I'd really like,
with your kind indulgence of course,
Copy !req
832. is to go after
that really big fish.
Copy !req
833. I mean, the one
you really wanna land.
Copy !req
834. I'll learn what I need to know,
and I'll reel them in for us.
Copy !req
835. No, actually, I think
I'll reel them in for us.
Copy !req
836. That is, unless you're going after
something in particular yourself.
Copy !req
837. No. It's just that there're several
big fish out there at the moment.
Copy !req
838. Oh, yeah?
Well, what's your biggest fish?
Copy !req
839. To your mind,
who's your whale?
Copy !req
840. Um, Nike—
women's division?
Copy !req
841. You heard
they were shopping?
Copy !req
842. I got wind of it.
Copy !req
843. - Amazing. I heard no one knew.
- You knew.
Copy !req
844. - I heard no one else knew.
- It's okay if I know what you know.
Copy !req
845. - We're on the same team. Besides,
- Yeah.
Copy !req
846. I heard someone say once
two heads are better than one—
Copy !req
847. - Oh, you were listening.
- More than you know.
Copy !req
848. Okay,
here's what I heard.
Copy !req
849. Nike is shopping,
quietly.
Copy !req
850. But if they make a change,
it's gonna happen fast.
Copy !req
851. Now, you know this is
a tough one for us to get.
Copy !req
852. It would be a tough one for anybody
to get, but if we got it—
Copy !req
853. - That's all we'd need.
- I hear you.
Copy !req
854. So, what do they want
exactly?
Copy !req
855. They wanna empower women.
Copy !req
856. - What?
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
857. - That won't work.
- No, okay. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
858. - I understand. Go on.
- They wanna get in women's heads...
Copy !req
859. and reach them
on a very real level.
Copy !req
860. Don't take this wrong, but you got
jumpy talking about lipstick.
Copy !req
861. - I know.
- Nike is hard-core woman power.
Copy !req
862. You sure you wanna
go after this one?
Copy !req
863. You get 'em here in two weeks,
I'll be ready.
Copy !req
864. This guy is kind of exciting.
Copy !req
865. Hey!
Glad I caught you both.
Copy !req
866. - You got a minute?
- Sure.
Copy !req
867. I want you to look at these boards
for U.S. Air before they come by.
Copy !req
868. - Right.
- It feels like something's missing.
Copy !req
869. Hmm. I don't like
the graphics.
Copy !req
870. Feels a bit parochial.
Copy !req
871. Maybe it should be
in black and white.
Copy !req
872. - What do you think, Nick?
- I don't know who you've had,
Copy !req
873. but, I don't know,
it seems kind of—
Copy !req
874. What's the word?
Parochial to me.
Copy !req
875. Um, what do you think,
Darcy?
Copy !req
876. I totally agree,
especially about the graphics.
Copy !req
877. They're parochial.
It's so funny you just said that.
Copy !req
878. Yeah?
Copy !req
879. Why don't you get them to
try it in black and white?
Copy !req
880. Might punch it up
a little.
Copy !req
881. What?
Did you say something?
Copy !req
882. No. I just swear I was
thinking the exact same thing.
Copy !req
883. Were you?
Copy !req
884. Black and white could really help.
Good idea, Nick.
Copy !req
885. Good idea, Nick?
Speak up. Quick.
Copy !req
886. - Say something before he leaves.
- Uh, Dan?
Copy !req
887. Want me to look at the boards? Once
they have a stab, give me a buzz.
Copy !req
888. - I will. Thanks, buddy.
- Dan?
Copy !req
889. In case they find Nick's idea
too retro, which they might—
Copy !req
890. - Oh, yeah.
- they may think it's old-fashioned—
Copy !req
891. I'd be ready with some—
maybe a dot com kind of thing?
Copy !req
892. Maybe there's something about
getting on-line at the airport.
Copy !req
893. No, I think we're fine, really.
Really, we're good.
Copy !req
894. - I like Nick's fix on this.
- Great.
Copy !req
895. Hey, you wanna come by later? I got
a box of new Cubans, just came in.
Copy !req
896. - Great.
- Cool.
Copy !req
897. You smoke cigars?
Copy !req
898. No.
Copy !req
899. You know, your office
is looking really snazzy.
Copy !req
900. - I love the red.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
901. Mr. Marshall,
your daughter's on line one.
Copy !req
902. - Oh. I'm sorry. Would you mind—
- Oh. Here you go.
Copy !req
903. He has a daughter?
Didn't picture that. How old?
Copy !req
904. She's 15. She's staying with me
while her mom's away.
Copy !req
905. - He's married?
- Away on her honeymoon.
Copy !req
906. - Oh.
- Alex, hi.
Copy !req
907. Uh-huh. Oh, sure, honey.
No, that's great.
Copy !req
908. "Honey" ?
Who are you trying to impress?
Copy !req
909. Okay, look, I'm gonna go out
with my friends after school.
Copy !req
910. Then can I bring them back to your
place, or will you freak out again?
Copy !req
911. No, no, no, no.
No problem. Whatever you want.
Copy !req
912. - What time are you gonna be home?
- Wait for me!
Copy !req
913. - I don't know. I gotta go.
- 8:00's fine.
Copy !req
914. I love you too.
Bye, sweetie.
Copy !req
915. Total shocker.
He's like a nice guy.
Copy !req
916. - Sorry, duty calls.
- Oh, of course.
Copy !req
917. - She's 15?
- Yeah. Got a boyfriend that's 18.
Copy !req
918. - And you hate that, right?
- Hate it.
Copy !req
919. Yeah. But she digs him,
and he's invited her to the prom.
Copy !req
920. - That's a big deal, I guess.
- The prom is about the dress.
Copy !req
921. - You know that, right? Oh, yeah.
- Is it?
Copy !req
922. Once you got the dress handled,
it's all downhill from there.
Copy !req
923. This feels like a date. Why did I
go into all that? He needs to go.
Copy !req
924. Well, I'm out of here.
Copy !req
925. Do some research downtown,
get inside women's heads.
Copy !req
926. - Well, if you need any help—
- I'll be picking your brain.
Copy !req
927. - You got it.
- I'll take it.
Copy !req
928. Oh, God.
Candy.
Copy !req
929. She won't last a month.
Copy !req
930. Oh, I like that one, but it says
you can't wear it if you have hips.
Copy !req
931. - That one's cute.
- It's low-cut. I can't wear low-cut.
Copy !req
932. - Alex?
- It's open.
Copy !req
933. What? Say something.
Copy !req
934. Uh, hi.
I'm Alex's dad, Nick.
Copy !req
935. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
936. - Deadbeat.
- Mr. No-Food-in-the-House.
Copy !req
937. [Girl#2 Thinking]
Forgot her birthday.
Copy !req
938. Why is he just standing there?
Copy !req
939. Oh, I-I just wanted
to let you know that I was home...
Copy !req
940. and that I got sort of a date
later on tonight, so I'm going out.
Copy !req
941. But I'll be home early. Hey,
why don't you guys order a pizza?
Copy !req
942. There's not a scrap of food
in the joint.
Copy !req
943. I also wanted to know if maybe you
and I could go out on a date soon?
Copy !req
944. I'd like to take you shopping
for a prom dress.
Copy !req
945. Oh, that is so sweet.
Copy !req
946. I wish my dad would do
something like that.
Copy !req
947. - [Girl#1 Thinking] I love him.
- I don't get it.
Copy !req
948. First, you throw Cameron out.
Copy !req
949. Now you wanna take me shopping
so I can go to the prom with him?
Copy !req
950. I overreacted, and I just wanna make
up for it by taking you shopping.
Copy !req
951. I mean, it's a pretty
important thing, you know?
Copy !req
952. They say it's all downhill
after the dress.
Copy !req
953. He must be stoned.
Fine.
Copy !req
954. I'll get the most expensive dress,
shoes, makeup. He can afford it.
Copy !req
955. And what the hell.
Let's go crazy.
Copy !req
956. While we're at it, we'll get you
new makeup, shoes, the works.
Copy !req
957. - What do you say?
- Fine, whatever.
Copy !req
958. Whatever meaning "yes."
Yes?
Copy !req
959. Yes.
Copy !req
960. Great. Nice to have met you two.
I hope to see you again soon.
Copy !req
961. - Definitely.
- Bye, Mr. Marshall.
Copy !req
962. - Love the apartment.
- Great view.
Copy !req
963. Thank you.
Oh, okay.
Copy !req
964. I gotta tell ya, I'm not
usually like this on a first date.
Copy !req
965. It's just... you've been
so amazing all night.
Copy !req
966. - You've been so sensitive...
- Oh, well—
Copy !req
967. and so understanding and—
Copy !req
968. Hey.
Copy !req
969. - You wanna come up?
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
970. I can't believe I asked him up.
Am I ready for him to come up?
Copy !req
971. If I sleep with him, he'll think
I'm a slut and never call me again.
Copy !req
972. Or he'll call me all the time 'cause
he'll think he can get it whenever.
Copy !req
973. Oh, what's the difference?
He's so incredible!
Copy !req
974. He reminds me of my sister.
Copy !req
975. - So, what do you think?
- Well, I—
Copy !req
976. I'll only come up
if you really want me to.
Copy !req
977. I don't want you to do anything
you're not ready for.
Copy !req
978. - I can wait.
Copy !req
979. - Oh, he's got a great body.
Copy !req
980. But— Whoa!
Copy !req
981. What's with the tongue? I'm
gonna need the Heimlich maneuver.
Copy !req
982. Thank you.
Copy !req
983. Ooh.
Copy !req
984. - Ouch! Right, they're attached.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
985. Oh!
Now we're talkin'.
Copy !req
986. Uh-huh.
Oh.
Copy !req
987. Okay.
Lied about the grande.
Copy !req
988. Would you mind if we had
the lights on, maybe?
Copy !req
989. - No, you want the light on?
- Yeah, it might help.
Copy !req
990. Okay, if it'll help.
Copy !req
991. God, I hope he's better
with the light on.
Copy !req
992. He's so all over the place.
Just do it so I can start faking it.
Copy !req
993. Is Britney Spears
on Leno tonight?
Copy !req
994. - You okay?
- Well—
Copy !req
995. Yeah, I'm just fine.
Copy !req
996. What—
What happened?
Copy !req
997. Shaking—
Copy !req
998. Okay. All right.
Copy !req
999. Now, let's pull this
together, buddy.
Copy !req
1000. I mean,
this is what we do.
Copy !req
1001. - You okay?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1002. Just regrouping.
Copy !req
1003. - Lola?
Copy !req
1004. - I can do this better.
- Wanna bet?
Copy !req
1005. Yeah.
Copy !req
1006. Amazing!
Amazing.
Copy !req
1007. Oh! It was like...
Copy !req
1008. you were more inside of me
than anybody ever!
Copy !req
1009. - Well, thanks, doll.
Copy !req
1010. - I tried.
- No, no.
Copy !req
1011. - I mean, more inside my head.
- Oh.
Copy !req
1012. Like, you knew what I wanted
and how I wanted it.
Copy !req
1013. We connected in a way
that was beyond—
Copy !req
1014. beyond—
Copy !req
1015. Oh, my heart!
Copy !req
1016. My heart is beating
so hard.
Copy !req
1017. Who would've thought? Slow starter,
Copy !req
1018. then turns out to be
a genius in bed.
Copy !req
1019. Ladies and gentlemen,
Nick Marshall is a sex god!
Copy !req
1020. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1021. - Living life.
Copy !req
1022. - Life. Livin' it.
Copy !req
1023. - Ooh. That's good.
Copy !req
1024. - [ Thinking, Indistinct ]
Copy !req
1025. Ha!
I love it.
Copy !req
1026. - I know. I know.
Copy !req
1027. - Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1028. - No, it's great.
Copy !req
1029. Okay, that was a—
One more. Time for one more.
Copy !req
1030. Okay, you know why guys like
doing it in front of the mirror?
Copy !req
1031. - Why?
- Objects may appear larger.
Copy !req
1032. - That's a good one. Anyway.
- Oh, that's a good one.
Copy !req
1033. I heard that in
the beauty shop this morning.
Copy !req
1034. - But seriously. Dee?
- Huh?
Copy !req
1035. That other thing we were
talking about before.
Copy !req
1036. Come on. I mean, he can't
just ignore you all night,
Copy !req
1037. stay glued to the TV
like some zombie...
Copy !req
1038. and then expect you
to turn it on like a lightbulb.
Copy !req
1039. I mean, I wouldn't
put up with that.
Copy !req
1040. I mean, you're either
interesting or you're not.
Copy !req
1041. Ask him to decide.
Copy !req
1042. - Can I write that down?
- All right.
Copy !req
1043. I'm either interesting
or I'm not. He'll shit a brick.
Copy !req
1044. Hmm.
What if he says I'm not?
Copy !req
1045. He won't say
that you're not.
Copy !req
1046. Trust me.
Copy !req
1047. Okay, I did it.
Copy !req
1048. I told Chaim
I wasn't moving to Israel.
Copy !req
1049. Yeah, good.
And?
Copy !req
1050. I said what you said.
He can be a writer anywhere.
Copy !req
1051. If I'm going to be in advertising,
I need to be here and not there.
Copy !req
1052. And then he said?
Copy !req
1053. - I don't know. It was in Hebrew.
- Ooh.
Copy !req
1054. But I don't think it was,
"You got it. See you next Tuesday."
Copy !req
1055. I don't know. I'd wait it out.
He'll call you.
Copy !req
1056. I can't.
I better call him back.
Copy !req
1057. Be strong.
He will call you.
Copy !req
1058. Well, girls, been nice chattin'.
I gotta get back to work.
Copy !req
1059. - Can I make you a sandwich?
- No, I'm cool.
Copy !req
1060. Really.
Copy !req
1061. But thank you, anyway.
This was fun.
Copy !req
1062. Aww!
Copy !req
1063. Huh. This is good.
Copy !req
1064. More insightful
than I would've thought.
Copy !req
1065. This line doesn't feel
exactly right.
Copy !req
1066. If you're thinking that line isn't
perfect, I agree. It needs work.
Copy !req
1067. There's something not exactly
right about it, isn't there?
Copy !req
1068. I mean, it's not bad. It's
insightful, actually. It's just—
Copy !req
1069. Well, what do you think
this woman's thinking?
Copy !req
1070. Uh, well, I—
Copy !req
1071. Let's see.
Copy !req
1072. Uh, she's thinking about
what she wants out of life.
Copy !req
1073. What's she gonna accomplish?
How's she gonna do all that?
Copy !req
1074. Women, you know,
they think about that a lot.
Copy !req
1075. I mean,
surprisingly a lot.
Copy !req
1076. They worry all the time
about everything.
Copy !req
1077. You're so right.
How do you know that?
Copy !req
1078. Well, you know,
even I had a mother.
Copy !req
1079. Well—
Copy !req
1080. So maybe running gives her
time off from all of that.
Copy !req
1081. It gives her something she can't
get anyplace else. Look at her.
Copy !req
1082. God.
I want to be her.
Copy !req
1083. She looks so free,
doesn't she?
Copy !req
1084. No one's judging her,
no boss to worry about,
Copy !req
1085. no guys to worry about,
no games to figure her way through.
Copy !req
1086. I like that.
No games. That's good.
Copy !req
1087. That'd be nice in life,
wouldn't it?
Copy !req
1088. Okay, can I just think
for one second?
Copy !req
1089. - Take your time.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1090. Okay.
Copy !req
1091. No games.
How do I get that in?
Copy !req
1092. She's running.
It's early, it's quiet.
Copy !req
1093. Just the sound of her feet
on the asphalt.
Copy !req
1094. She likes to run alone.
No pressure, no stress.
Copy !req
1095. This is the one place
she can be herself.
Copy !req
1096. Look any way she wants,
dress, think any way she wants.
Copy !req
1097. No gameplaying, no rules.
Games, sports, rules.
Copy !req
1098. Games, sports, rules.
Playing by the rules.
Copy !req
1099. Playing games versus playing—
Copy !req
1100. Playing by the rules.
Playing games versus playing—
Copy !req
1101. - Why are you nodding?
- Because you're onto something.
Copy !req
1102. - Am I?
- Aren't you?
Copy !req
1103. Well, I was thinking about
a play on words.
Copy !req
1104. Something about games versus—
Copy !req
1105. I feel like
I was onto something good.
Copy !req
1106. - Playing games versus playing—
- Sports?
Copy !req
1107. Yes! Thank you.
Do you like any of this?
Copy !req
1108. A lot. I like the idea that you can
be yourself on the road.
Copy !req
1109. I do too.
Did I say that out loud?
Copy !req
1110. No, I was just—
Copy !req
1111. 'Cause I was circling around
the exact same thing,
Copy !req
1112. - which is great, we're on the same—
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1113. Sorry, I'm not thinking straight.
My glands may be swollen.
Copy !req
1114. Maybe they should be more swollen.
You're doing great. Nike. No games.
Copy !req
1115. Just sports.
Copy !req
1116. - Oh.
- You should write that down.
Copy !req
1117. All right.
Copy !req
1118. Did he come up with that,
or did I?
Copy !req
1119. Boy, can I be—
Copy !req
1120. What?
Copy !req
1121. Uh, well,
can I be honest with you?
Copy !req
1122. Please do.
Copy !req
1123. Before I came here, I heard you
were a tough, chauvinistic prick.
Copy !req
1124. I didn't know you were
gonna be that honest.
Copy !req
1125. - Sorry. I'm— Sorry.
- No, that's all right.
Copy !req
1126. No, that's okay. You must have
looked so forward to meeting me.
Copy !req
1127. I was dreading it. I had this whole
other person built up in my mind.
Copy !req
1128. Well, since we're sharing,
I heard a few things about you too.
Copy !req
1129. Yes, I'm sure. I'm the "man-eating
bitch Darth Vader" of the ad world.
Copy !req
1130. Verbatim.
Copy !req
1131. Really? All right.
Well, nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1132. That's not who I am at all.
Copy !req
1133. Just for the record,
I don't think that's who you are.
Copy !req
1134. I don't.
Copy !req
1135. Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Copy !req
1136. See, no games equals
embarrassing moment.
Copy !req
1137. Don't fall for a guy at work.
Don't fall for a guy at work.
Copy !req
1138. - Don't fall for a guy at work.
- Why?
Copy !req
1139. Why what?
Copy !req
1140. Why won't— Why don't I just
work on these storyboards...
Copy !req
1141. and then bring them back around
to you tomorrow if you're free.
Copy !req
1142. I'm free.
Just call me anytime.
Copy !req
1143. I'm flirting.
What's wrong with me?
Copy !req
1144. God! I just looked at his penis.
I hope he didn't see me.
Copy !req
1145. Oh, shit! I just looked
at it again! Stop it!
Copy !req
1146. - Are you all right?
- Fine. I got something in my eye.
Copy !req
1147. Allright, um—
So, great.
Copy !req
1148. So tomorrow will be—
That'll be great. I'll see you then.
Copy !req
1149. - Uh, good work by the way.
- You too.
Copy !req
1150. - You sure you're all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
1151. - Are you laughing at me?
Copy !req
1152. - Yeah.
- Good.
Copy !req
1153. I didn't think anyone else
was still here.
Copy !req
1154. - I didn't know anyone was here.
- What time is it?
Copy !req
1155. It's after 10:00.
Copy !req
1156. - I didn't realize it was so late.
- I feel so alone.
Copy !req
1157. Um— I didn't catch that.
Sorry?
Copy !req
1158. - I didn't realize how late it was.
- And I'm glad you're here.
Copy !req
1159. I'm stuck.
I feel so alone.
Copy !req
1160. - You want a hand with this?
- No, thanks. I'm okay.
Copy !req
1161. Yeah, I'm not buying it.
What's going on?
Copy !req
1162. Well, I have an early meeting
tomorrow with Dan,
Copy !req
1163. and I wanted to make it
later so I could be more prepared.
Copy !req
1164. But then you slipped in there
and took the only time he had left,
Copy !req
1165. which left me with
8:15 tomorrow morning.
Copy !req
1166. It's fine. I'm just not
as ready as I wish I was.
Copy !req
1167. - Sorry.
- You didn't do it on purpose.
Copy !req
1168. I just don't want him
to be disappointed.
Copy !req
1169. Hey, why don't we go through
some of these together?
Copy !req
1170. - Really?
- I insist.
Copy !req
1171. - Unless you're too tired.
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
1172. - I'm not tired.
- Yeah, I can see that.
Copy !req
1173. It's just so far beyond
tired at this point.
Copy !req
1174. I've basically stopped sleeping
ever since I took this job.
Copy !req
1175. - You have?
- Yeah, it's weird.
Copy !req
1176. I, um—
How do I say this?
Copy !req
1177. You don't feel quite
like yourself here, do you?
Copy !req
1178. No, I don't.
Not yet, anyway.
Copy !req
1179. Boy.
Copy !req
1180. Plus, I'm mad
that I'm getting sick.
Copy !req
1181. I never, ever get sick.
In fact,
Copy !req
1182. you don't have to sit
so close to me if you don't want to.
Copy !req
1183. No, come here.
I'll brave it.
Copy !req
1184. So, where do we kick off?
Copy !req
1185. - Control-top panty hose?
- Okay.
Copy !req
1186. Personally, I think
they do the trick.
Copy !req
1187. You've worn
control-top panty hose?
Copy !req
1188. - Did you put a pair in the box?
- Seriously?
Copy !req
1189. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1190. - You are full of surprises.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1191. No, no, no. I mean that
as a compliment. I love that.
Copy !req
1192. - And how did you look in them?
- Ooh. Hot.
Copy !req
1193. My daughter and her boyfriend
walked in, and I got 'em on with—
Copy !req
1194. And they said what when
they saw you in your panty hose?
Copy !req
1195. It was the turquoise Wonderbra
they noticed. Then, the nail polish.
Copy !req
1196. The dress
you picked out is totally hideous.
Copy !req
1197. - I'm not coming out.
- It can't be that bad. Come on out.
Copy !req
1198. I look like a nun—
an ugly nun.
Copy !req
1199. Why? Because it's gray?
Gray is the new black.
Copy !req
1200. If he says he likes it,
I'll die.
Copy !req
1201. Okay, next.
Copy !req
1202. This, I love.
Copy !req
1203. Thank you.
Next.
Copy !req
1204. I think this is the one.
Copy !req
1205. I like that—
No, I love that.
Copy !req
1206. Okay, this is it.
Copy !req
1207. Let me take a look.
Copy !req
1208. Yes!
I look older.
Copy !req
1209. This is great.
Oh, God, I need boobs.
Copy !req
1210. Oh, I'll buy a padded bra
when he's not around.
Copy !req
1211. I can't believe this is what I'll be
wearing the last night I'm a virgin.
Copy !req
1212. - Or what I'll be taking off.
Copy !req
1213. - Alex?
- Hmm?
Copy !req
1214. I wanna talk to you about something
that's pretty important.
Copy !req
1215. - I've never talked to you about—
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
1216. He's actually gonna try
to be a dad.
Copy !req
1217. This should be hilarious.
Copy !req
1218. I realize I haven't been
the perfect dad.
Copy !req
1219. Understatement of the
century. Can you pass the bread?
Copy !req
1220. Yeah, sure, sure. But that does
not mean I don't have the right...
Copy !req
1221. to talk to you about—
about—
Copy !req
1222. - About?
Copy !req
1223. All right.
You're a young woman now,
Copy !req
1224. and you may be flirting
with the idea of-of—
Copy !req
1225. Having sex?
Copy !req
1226. Um, can I get a lemonade,
please?
Copy !req
1227. Well, you know, boys and girls
think very differently about sex.
Copy !req
1228. My hunch is girls just want guys
to like 'em and hang out with 'em.
Copy !req
1229. Whereas guys—
And not all guys, allright?
Copy !req
1230. But most guys, they pretty much
just wanna have sex.
Copy !req
1231. Okay, I'm—
What I'm trying to say here is,
Copy !req
1232. I don't want you
to feel pressured...
Copy !req
1233. - because your boyfriend's older.
- Please. Save it.
Copy !req
1234. Mom had this talk with me
when I was, like, 11.
Copy !req
1235. You're supposed to have sex when
you're in love and it's special.
Copy !req
1236. And Mom knows me for real
and knows my friends and Cameron,
Copy !req
1237. so let's leave the parental
talks up to her, okay?
Copy !req
1238. - I promised Cameron I'd do it.
- Oh, jeez.
Copy !req
1239. And also, let's not make me
part of this Nick makeover...
Copy !req
1240. or whatever this new thing
you're into is, okay?
Copy !req
1241. - What new thing?
- What new thing?
Copy !req
1242. This ridiculous new guy
you're trying to be.
Copy !req
1243. Clowning around with me?
Asking if we can make a salad?
Copy !req
1244. Watch Friends together?
Copy !req
1245. I mean, it's nuts
after 15 years of no relating.
Copy !req
1246. I mean, come on.
Copy !req
1247. Who are you to talk about
relationships anyway?
Copy !req
1248. You never had a real relationship
with anyone in your entire life.
Copy !req
1249. Look, I'm supposed
to meet my friends.
Copy !req
1250. - So I'm gonna go, okay?
- Sure.
Copy !req
1251. Thanks for the dress.
Copy !req
1252. She didn't even finish her lunch.
Copy !req
1253. Johnny-come-lately,
giving her advice?
Copy !req
1254. - Oh, teenagers.
- I think the talk worked.
Copy !req
1255. - She's totally right.
- Move on, dude. It's over.
Copy !req
1256. Please.
Copy !req
1257. Now you've seen how
the cake is assembled.
Copy !req
1258. The next time you admire a wedding
cake, you'll be able to appreciate—
Copy !req
1259. Wow.
It looks so gorgeous.
Copy !req
1260. - Fit, vibrant hair.
- Oh.
Copy !req
1261. I hated being overweight. I always
wanted to be thin and pretty...
Copy !req
1262. and wear cute little clothes.
Copy !req
1263. It built and it built,
and my health deteriorated.
Copy !req
1264. And I couldn't walk
and I couldn't stand...
Copy !req
1265. to even stand up at the park for
ten minutes while my kids played.
Copy !req
1266. I tried sitting on the swings, and
the chains cut my hips and it hurt.
Copy !req
1267. And I couldn't -
I couldn't run and I couldn't move.
Copy !req
1268. And I was tired
and I wanted to be a good mom.
Copy !req
1269. - What the hell's wrong with me?
Copy !req
1270. - Hello?
- What am I doing?
Copy !req
1271. - Darcy?
Copy !req
1272. How did you know it was me?
I didn't say anything.
Copy !req
1273. I, uh, just sensed it.
Copy !req
1274. Shit. I'm such an idiot.
I didn't think he'd be there.
Copy !req
1275. - Excuse me?
- I didn't mean to really call you.
Copy !req
1276. I had your number here,
and I was thinking of you.
Copy !req
1277. Thinking of calling you.
Copy !req
1278. Obviously,
I did call you.
Copy !req
1279. Oh, no, that's all right.
I, uh—
Copy !req
1280. I was thinking about you too.
Copy !req
1281. Well, here's to another
great idea.
Copy !req
1282. - What, "Let's meet for a drink" ?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1283. - Yeah?
- Exactly what I wanted to say.
Copy !req
1284. Sometimes I think
you're a bit of a mind reader.
Copy !req
1285. But I don't have to be
a mind reader with you.
Copy !req
1286. - Hmm.
- You always say what you think.
Copy !req
1287. - I know. It's a curse.
- What—
Copy !req
1288. - Are you kidding?
It's a relief— an enormous relief.
Copy !req
1289. Do you know how rare that is
to actually say what you think?
Copy !req
1290. Do you have any idea how rare it is
for someone to actually like that?
Copy !req
1291. Trust me, this has not been
a great thing in my life.
Copy !req
1292. My ex-husband didn't love me.
Let's just put it that way.
Copy !req
1293. He didn't love you?
Copy !req
1294. Did I just say that?
Copy !req
1295. Oh, God!
Copy !req
1296. Um, I meant to say "it."
He didn't love it—
Copy !req
1297. that I spoke my mind.
Copy !req
1298. If you wanna know the truth,
I'm not sure he did really love me.
Copy !req
1299. - Ooh.
- There's a conversation starter.
Copy !req
1300. God. A smart person would
just get so very drunk now.
Copy !req
1301. How long
were you married?
Copy !req
1302. A little less than a year.
Copy !req
1303. I've been divorced about nine
months now. We worked together.
Copy !req
1304. - You know that, right?
- Oh, yeah. I knew that.
Copy !req
1305. - I heard it.
- Hmm.
Copy !req
1306. - What was that like?
- It was great in the beginning.
Copy !req
1307. But it changed.
It became competitive.
Copy !req
1308. Suddenly, the better I did,
the worse we did.
Copy !req
1309. The price I pay
for being me.
Copy !req
1310. - I know that now. No, truly.
Copy !req
1311. - Oh.
- No, no, it's true.
Copy !req
1312. Do you wanna know
all this about me?
Copy !req
1313. Keep going.
Copy !req
1314. Well, that's why I needed
to get out there on my own,
Copy !req
1315. as scary as it was.
Copy !req
1316. I mean, not scary,
but, um—
Copy !req
1317. Well, yeah,
I was kind of scared.
Copy !req
1318. - Why?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
1319. I guess I wasn't sure
I could do the job.
Copy !req
1320. I mean,
I thought I could do it,
Copy !req
1321. but I'm finding Sloane-Curtis
a tougher place than I thought.
Copy !req
1322. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1323. - I know you were up for my job.
- No.
Copy !req
1324. - I'm sorry I'm the one that got it.
- I'm-I'm not. I'm not.
Copy !req
1325. - I've learned a lot from you.
- Like what?
Copy !req
1326. Like what? For starters,
you really love what you do.
Copy !req
1327. - You really love what you do.
- Not as much as you do.
Copy !req
1328. How can you say that?
You're so great at it.
Copy !req
1329. You're so great at it.
Copy !req
1330. I think Dan's even wondering
why he hired me. Really.
Copy !req
1331. I think the bloom
is definitely off the rose.
Copy !req
1332. You wanna hear something
really great?
Copy !req
1333. Yeah.
Copy !req
1334. I just closed escrow on
my first apartment ever.
Copy !req
1335. Finally, I own my own place.
Copy !req
1336. - What? I wish I was a mind reader.
- No.
Copy !req
1337. I was just thinking...
Copy !req
1338. how men like me
can get so screwed up.
Copy !req
1339. I don't think
there are men like you.
Copy !req
1340. If we kissed,
would it ruin everything?
Copy !req
1341. Listen to me.
Copy !req
1342. I think...
Copy !req
1343. you are one of
the great women.
Copy !req
1344. I really do.
Copy !req
1345. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1346. But I just meant to say
thank you.
Copy !req
1347. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
1348. Well, I, uh,
guess I'll see you...
Copy !req
1349. in, let's see,
three and a half hours.
Copy !req
1350. Nick, may I just say...
Copy !req
1351. you are an exceptionally
great kisser.
Copy !req
1352. No, I mean
really, really great.
Copy !req
1353. Well, I haven't had
this much fun making out since—
Copy !req
1354. I've never had
this much fun making out.
Copy !req
1355. Me either.
Copy !req
1356. - Don't let this get weird at work?
- No.
Copy !req
1357. We have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Copy !req
1358. We made out.
You and I made out.
Copy !req
1359. - And if I may, it was—
- Sexy as hell.
Copy !req
1360. God. That's just what
I was about to say.
Copy !req
1361. But I think I said it first,
I think.
Copy !req
1362. - Oh, no, you did.
- Oh.
Copy !req
1363. Um, well,
all right, then.
Copy !req
1364. Oh, I'm a grown woman.
Just say it.
Copy !req
1365. Do you want to come back
to my place?
Copy !req
1366. Say it!
Do you want to come—
Copy !req
1367. Good night, Darcy.
Copy !req
1368. Good night.
Copy !req
1369. Good night.
Copy !req
1370. What am I doing?
Copy !req
1371. Lola.
Copy !req
1372. It's okay. Okay.
Here he comes.
Copy !req
1373. - [Lola Muttering, Indistinct]
- Lola?
Copy !req
1374. I know I haven't
heard from you.
Copy !req
1375. Lola, how long
have you been out here?
Copy !req
1376. Just a few... hours.
Copy !req
1377. Nick, you said that
you wouldn't hurt me.
Copy !req
1378. And then you slept with me, and then
you didn't call me for six days.
Copy !req
1379. So that, in the world of me,
that's torture.
Copy !req
1380. I mean, we have this totally
unbelievable, life-altering sex,
Copy !req
1381. and then
you just disappear.
Copy !req
1382. I mean, you-you-you
stopped drinking coffee!
Copy !req
1383. Lola, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
1384. It's okay.
Copy !req
1385. It's okay, because
I figured out your little secret.
Copy !req
1386. - You did?
- It's so obvious.
Copy !req
1387. How else would you know
the things that you know?
Copy !req
1388. - It wasn't obvious to anybody else.
- Nick, come on.
Copy !req
1389. You're so sensitive.
You're so aware of my feelings.
Copy !req
1390. You're so tuned in.
Copy !req
1391. You talk to me like a woman,
you think like a woman.
Copy !req
1392. Nick! Come on! Admit it.
You're totally and completely gay.
Copy !req
1393. - I am?
- You're not?
Copy !req
1394. Oh! I mean, if you're not,
you gotta tell me.
Copy !req
1395. Based on the other night—
Just put me out of my misery.
Copy !req
1396. Are you or aren't you?
Copy !req
1397. Say you're gay. Then I'm not nuts.
I'm not undesirable.
Copy !req
1398. Not rejected by another guy!
Say it! Say you're gay! Admit it!
Copy !req
1399. Okay.
Copy !req
1400. I'm gay.
Copy !req
1401. How gay?
Copy !req
1402. Oh!
I'm as gay as it gets.
Copy !req
1403. You're gonna make some guy
very happy someday.
Copy !req
1404. Oh, from your lips.
Copy !req
1405. God, I hate that
I'm crying.
Copy !req
1406. Well, look it.
Copy !req
1407. If things should ever change
in that department—
Copy !req
1408. - You'll be the first to know.
- You promise?
Copy !req
1409. Oh, yeah, I promise.
Come here.
Copy !req
1410. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1411. - It was very nice meeting you, Nick.
- And you.
Copy !req
1412. Thanks for pep talk, yes?
Copy !req
1413. You two just
take care of each other.
Copy !req
1414. - And thanks for the yarmulke.
- Oh, no problem.
Copy !req
1415. - You wear it well, yes?
- Happy trails, kids.
Copy !req
1416. - Isn't he great?
- Darcy!
Copy !req
1417. I need to talk to you.
Copy !req
1418. Uh-oh, look at him.
I knew it. He is weird about it.
Copy !req
1419. This is not about last night.
It's about the Nike meeting.
Copy !req
1420. And I honestly believe
in my gut...
Copy !req
1421. - that you should make the pitch.
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
1422. - I guilted you into this last night.
- No, no.
Copy !req
1423. - It would be better if you did it.
- No, no, no.
Copy !req
1424. This is your baby.
You've gotta do it.
Copy !req
1425. I gotta go meet and greet
these folks. I'll see you in there.
Copy !req
1426. - It's not my baby.
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
1427. I predict no one will even know I'm
gone until the files start to build.
Copy !req
1428. It could be days.
Copy !req
1429. And then someone
will finally ask,
Copy !req
1430. "Where's the geek in the glasses
who carries all the files?"
Copy !req
1431. Do either of you two know what
the story is on this Erin girl?
Copy !req
1432. - Miss Lonely Hearts? Who knows?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1433. Ooh, I know.
She's been here two years.
Copy !req
1434. She tried to be a copywriter
but got turned down.
Copy !req
1435. - So she got stuck as a messenger.
- What fool turned her down?
Copy !req
1436. You did, sire.
Copy !req
1437. Well, did I ever
meet with her at least?
Copy !req
1438. I don't think so. As I recall,
you told me to "blow her off."
Copy !req
1439. Well, I wanna meet
with her now.
Copy !req
1440. The kid's got something.
She's kind of funny.
Copy !req
1441. This is your lucky day. I just saw
the Nike group get off the elevator.
Copy !req
1442. All women. Your specialty.
Come on. I'll walk you up.
Copy !req
1443. I hate what I'm doing to Darcy.
I hate it!
Copy !req
1444. I'm gonna write her
a long letter, confess everything.
Copy !req
1445. - You're doing Darcy? Since when?
- No!
Copy !req
1446. I said I hate what
I'm doing to Darcy.
Copy !req
1447. - Men are stupider. It's true.
- Will you stop it?
Copy !req
1448. - They are.
- "They" ? Are you a woman now?
Copy !req
1449. Oh, I wish. A woman wouldn't have
screwed over the woman she loved.
Copy !req
1450. No, they don't think that way.
And another thing.
Copy !req
1451. - This thing about penis envy.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1452. Not true. No.
They don't envy it.
Copy !req
1453. Half of'em
don't even like it.
Copy !req
1454. You know who has
penis envy? We do.
Copy !req
1455. That's why we cheat
and screw up and lie,
Copy !req
1456. because we're all obsessed
with our own equipment.
Copy !req
1457. - You ready? Okay.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1458. Thanks.
Copy !req
1459. You don't stand in front
of a mirror before a run...
Copy !req
1460. and wonder what the road
will think of your outfit.
Copy !req
1461. You don't have to listen to its
jokes and pretend they're funny.
Copy !req
1462. It would not be easier to run
if you dressed sexier.
Copy !req
1463. The road doesn't notice
if you're not wearing lipstick.
Copy !req
1464. It does not care
how old you are.
Copy !req
1465. You do not feel
uncomfortable...
Copy !req
1466. because you make more money
than the road.
Copy !req
1467. And you can call on the road
whenever you feel like it,
Copy !req
1468. whether it's been a day...
Copy !req
1469. or even a couple of hours
since your last date.
Copy !req
1470. The only thing
the road cares about...
Copy !req
1471. is that you pay it a visit
once in a while.
Copy !req
1472. Nike.
No games.
Copy !req
1473. Just sports.
Copy !req
1474. - He nailed it.
- They hit a home run.
Copy !req
1475. [Woman #3 Thinking]
Where do we sign?
Copy !req
1476. Why are you not the happiest guy
in Chicago right now?
Copy !req
1477. You just did so great.
Copy !req
1478. No, no, I didn't do so great.
We did so—
Copy !req
1479. No, actually,
you did so great.
Copy !req
1480. - You.
- You, me.
Copy !req
1481. We did great!
Copy !req
1482. Will you come with me someplace?
I wanna show you something.
Copy !req
1483. - I have something I need to finish.
- Please?
Copy !req
1484. Please.
Copy !req
1485. Okay.
Here you go.
Copy !req
1486. - Come with me.
- All right.
Copy !req
1487. - Should I close my eyes or anything?
- No.
Copy !req
1488. So, you see those top
two floors right there?
Copy !req
1489. I do.
Copy !req
1490. - All mine.
- Wow.
Copy !req
1491. Come here.
Copy !req
1492. So this is my—
Copy !req
1493. living room.
Copy !req
1494. It's beautiful.
Copy !req
1495. What are you thinking?
Copy !req
1496. You've got that look
you have sometimes.
Copy !req
1497. Yeah? No. I was just wondering
when you get to move in.
Copy !req
1498. Well, they said
two weeks, so—
Copy !req
1499. Okay.
This is the dining room.
Copy !req
1500. - The fireplace works. Come here.
- Wow.
Copy !req
1501. I can see elegant parties in here.
Waiters with caviar,
Copy !req
1502. - you in a beautiful gown.
- You can see all that?
Copy !req
1503. Maybe you're naked and I'm the only
guest, but it'd still be elegant.
Copy !req
1504. Okay.
So this is upstairs.
Copy !req
1505. There's a second bedroom
or a future office or whatever.
Copy !req
1506. - And this is my boudoir.
Copy !req
1507. Your boudoir comes with
pretty decent music.
Copy !req
1508. It does.
Copy !req
1509. Where is that coming from?
Copy !req
1510. Let's turn up the volume.
Copy !req
1511. So, where's your bed going?
Copy !req
1512. Uh, right... here.
Copy !req
1513. So, if you had a bed,
Copy !req
1514. we'd be dancing on it.
Copy !req
1515. I like it here.
Copy !req
1516. I like it here too.
Copy !req
1517. No. I mean,
I like it here.
Copy !req
1518. Oh.
Copy !req
1519. Believe me, we're
as excited as you are.
Copy !req
1520. - Dan? I gotta talk to you.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1521. He'll be there. Bye. I gotta
talk to you too. That was Nike.
Copy !req
1522. They're gonna announce to the trades
that we won the account.
Copy !req
1523. I gotta hand it to you. You saved
my ass. You saved the company's ass.
Copy !req
1524. Actually, Dan, I had very little
to do with saving anybody's ass.
Copy !req
1525. It's Darcy you should be thanking,
that's what I want to talk about.
Copy !req
1526. Darcy? Please. I was there.
The girl didn't open her mouth.
Copy !req
1527. Look, I'm a big enough man
to admit when I screw up.
Copy !req
1528. I looked at the marketplace
and I panicked.
Copy !req
1529. Nick, forgive me.
I want you to step in here.
Copy !req
1530. No, no, no, no. Dan, you did
the right thing when you hired her.
Copy !req
1531. I mean, she is the best creative
director I have ever seen, bar none.
Copy !req
1532. - This isn't about— She's adorable.
- Oh, yeah, she is.
Copy !req
1533. - But this isn't about that?
- No, no. Not like that. No, no.
Copy !req
1534. Please. Look.
Copy !req
1535. I've been doing
a lot of listening lately.
Copy !req
1536. And I've decided...
I need to take a leave of absence.
Copy !req
1537. I need to get away from here
and get some perspective on things.
Copy !req
1538. What are you, nuts? What is this?
What do you mean?
Copy !req
1539. This is the biggest account
this company has ever landed.
Copy !req
1540. Do you want me to have
nobody running the shop?
Copy !req
1541. What are you talking about?
Darcy's here.
Copy !req
1542. For somebody who listens a lot,
you don't hear so well.
Copy !req
1543. I had a meeting with her today.
I sat her down.
Copy !req
1544. - We had a talk.
- Oh, Dan! You didn't.
Copy !req
1545. - Tell me you didn't fire her.
- She didn't even put up a fight.
Copy !req
1546. - Oh, Dan, no!
- Hey, she's gone, pal.
Copy !req
1547. No, no. It's not too late.
Look, call her.
Copy !req
1548. Tell her you need her back,
you made a mistake. Hire her back.
Copy !req
1549. - Hey, calm down. I can't do that.
- Why?
Copy !req
1550. Because I talked to the board and I
told them I don't need her anymore.
Copy !req
1551. - Oh!
- They offered her a settlement.
Copy !req
1552. Besides, Nike says they want you.
You're what they bought.
Copy !req
1553. - I got a delivery— Can I—
Copy !req
1554. Would you come out for one second?
Let me tell you something.
Copy !req
1555. My job is to deliver you.
Copy !req
1556. Dan, Nike bought an idea.
It wasn't even mine.
Copy !req
1557. Every good idea that they loved
yesterday came from her.
Copy !req
1558. And if you don't get Darcy McGuire
back in here, and I mean pronto,
Copy !req
1559. the board is gonna be
paying you your settlement.
Copy !req
1560. This is all about
saving your ass, right?
Copy !req
1561. Save it.
Copy !req
1562. Annie, get a hold of Darcy's address
and number as quick as possible.
Copy !req
1563. - Yeah, sure.
- Where's the girl in glasses?
Copy !req
1564. Erin? I don't think
she's in today.
Copy !req
1565. - Did she call in sick?
- I don't think so. Didn't show up.
Copy !req
1566. Oh, where does she live?
Copy !req
1567. - Does anyone know where Erin lives?
Who's Erin?
Copy !req
1568. And then someone
will finally ask,
Copy !req
1569. "Where's the geek in the glasses
who carries all the files?"
Copy !req
1570. Hey. Yeah.
Did you get a hold of Darcy?
Copy !req
1571. No? Keep trying. And when you get
a hold of her, tell her to stay put.
Copy !req
1572. I'm coming right over. I just have
to make a little stop on the way.
Copy !req
1573. Do you know where this is?
Copy !req
1574. Down the alley.
Copy !req
1575. Just down the alley.
Copy !req
1576. Thanks.
Copy !req
1577. - Come on, Erin. Be there. Please—
Copy !req
1578. Erin?
Copy !req
1579. Hello?
Copy !req
1580. No, no.
Copy !req
1581. Dear Mom—
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
Copy !req
1582. Mr. Marshall!
Mr. Marshall?
Copy !req
1583. Yes, Erin.
Yes, it's me.
Copy !req
1584. - I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1585. I really did not mean
to scare you. Okay?
Copy !req
1586. I just wanted to come
and see how you are.
Copy !req
1587. How are you?
Copy !req
1588. Mr. Marshall, if you're here because
I didn't show up today, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1589. I was just about to call.
I swear.
Copy !req
1590. No, I'm not here because
you didn't show up for work.
Copy !req
1591. But I'm here—
Well, I—
Copy !req
1592. I bet you're wondering
why I am here, huh?
Copy !req
1593. As a matter of fact,
I was just thinking that.
Copy !req
1594. I was thinking, "Why is Mr. Marshall
here in my bedroom?"
Copy !req
1595. You were...
thinking that just now?
Copy !req
1596. Yeah, in my head.
Copy !req
1597. I must have water
in my ears or something.
Copy !req
1598. But you're, you know,
not thinking anything now, are you?
Copy !req
1599. I'm thinking a million things.
Copy !req
1600. Really?
Copy !req
1601. Because, you know,
usually I can, uh—
Copy !req
1602. I can, uh—
Copy !req
1603. You are thinking something
right this minute?
Copy !req
1604. Mr. Marshall, I am thinking
that you are crazier than I am.
Copy !req
1605. I think—
Copy !req
1606. I think I lost—
Copy !req
1607. It's gone.
Copy !req
1608. I'm back.
Copy !req
1609. - I'm back.
- Mr. Marshall?
Copy !req
1610. Yeah?
Copy !req
1611. I'm sorry. Is there something
I can maybe do for you?
Copy !req
1612. No.
Copy !req
1613. No, Erin, uh—
Copy !req
1614. Actually, I came here to see if
I could do something for you.
Copy !req
1615. - For me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1616. See, the truth is—
Copy !req
1617. The truth—
Copy !req
1618. Erin, the truth is,
Copy !req
1619. I'm glad I got here before you
did anything to hurt yourself.
Copy !req
1620. What makes you think that
I would, uh,
Copy !req
1621. do something
to hurt myself?
Copy !req
1622. I just sensed it.
Copy !req
1623. Really?
Copy !req
1624. You could sense that?
Copy !req
1625. Well, that's not—
That's not good.
Copy !req
1626. Yeah. But the real reason
I'm here is because—
Copy !req
1627. Well, here's the thing. The real
reason I'm here is because—
Copy !req
1628. As you know
we have the Nike account,
Copy !req
1629. and we have a job opening
in our team.
Copy !req
1630. And Darcy McGuire and I,
we were just discussing—
Copy !req
1631. really spitballing on who could be
great enough to fill that void.
Copy !req
1632. Suddenly, your name popped
into my head, and I remembered...
Copy !req
1633. that you once applied
for a job as a copywriter.
Copy !req
1634. I thought I'd come down here and
see if you were still interested.
Copy !req
1635. Didn't you try and meet with me
a while back?
Copy !req
1636. Yeah, I tried, but you were
unavailable, and then out of town—
Copy !req
1637. Well, now I'm available.
Copy !req
1638. And as you can plainly see
I'm in town,
Copy !req
1639. so I'm here
to take that meeting...
Copy !req
1640. if you're available.
Copy !req
1641. I'm available.
Copy !req
1642. I'm unbelievably available.
Copy !req
1643. Hi, this is Darcy McGuire.
Copy !req
1644. I'm not home right now,
so please leave a message.
Copy !req
1645. - I'll get back as soon as I can.
Copy !req
1646. Darcy?
Hi, Darcy, it's Nick.
Copy !req
1647. Uh, I'm standing right outside
your place here.
Copy !req
1648. I sure wish I could find you,
get a hold of you.
Copy !req
1649. Are you all right?
I hope so.
Copy !req
1650. Anyway, call me
when you get this.
Copy !req
1651. I'm on my cell.
Triple five, 1-2-2-6.
Copy !req
1652. I really need to talk to you.
Copy !req
1653. Uh—
Copy !req
1654. Just making sure
you're not there.
Copy !req
1655. You're not, right?
No, I didn't think so.
Copy !req
1656. All right, so call me, please.
Please.
Copy !req
1657. Bye.
Copy !req
1658. - Darcy?
- No, it's me.
Copy !req
1659. Gigi? Uh—
Is everything all right?
Copy !req
1660. - Are you back in town already?
- No, not until tomorrow.
Copy !req
1661. Alex called me three times
from a pay phone really upset.
Copy !req
1662. Then we got disconnected. What's
the matter? Isn't she at the prom?
Copy !req
1663. The prom.
Copy !req
1664. Excuse me. Do you know
where Alex Marshall is?
Copy !req
1665. Little tenth grader?
Brown hair? About this high?
Copy !req
1666. I saw her in the ladies' room.
She's been there for, like, an hour.
Copy !req
1667. Alex, are you in here?
Copy !req
1668. Alex, it's me.
Copy !req
1669. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1670. Oh, honey, I just—
Copy !req
1671. You know, I can't believe
that I screwed up.
Copy !req
1672. I wasn't there when
you left for the prom.
Copy !req
1673. Yeah, well, that's not why I'm
in here, so you can just go, okay?
Copy !req
1674. Oh, boy, I feel awful.
Are you okay? I mean, I—
Copy !req
1675. Come on out. Let me see
how you look, at least.
Copy !req
1676. - Come on.
- I look like crap!
Copy !req
1677. I already took my hair out
and everything.
Copy !req
1678. So, you know,
what happened?
Copy !req
1679. Well, if I told you,
you'd just freak out, so—
Copy !req
1680. What have you got to lose?
Try me.
Copy !req
1681. Okay.
Copy !req
1682. Cameron and his friends,
they had this big plan.
Copy !req
1683. They rented this hotelroom
and-and—
Copy !req
1684. It was like a suite.
Copy !req
1685. Basically, I promised him
that I was gonna—
Copy !req
1686. I can't believe I'm gonna
say this to you.
Copy !req
1687. I promised him that
I was gonna...
Copy !req
1688. sleep with him
after the prom.
Copy !req
1689. And like an hour ago,
Copy !req
1690. we were on the dance floor
and I said,
Copy !req
1691. "I'm sorry, Cameron.
You know, I'm just not ready."
Copy !req
1692. Good.
Good girl.
Copy !req
1693. - Dad, come on!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Go on.
Copy !req
1694. Then he goes, "Well, the limo,
the room and the tux,
Copy !req
1695. it all cost me 400 bucks. "
Copy !req
1696. And I said,
"I'm sorry. I'm just not—"
Copy !req
1697. And he cuts me off
and he says,
Copy !req
1698. "I never should've asked a sophomore
to the prom. What a waste."
Copy !req
1699. Then two seconds later,
Copy !req
1700. he goes and meets up
with his old girlfriend...
Copy !req
1701. and starts making out
with her.
Copy !req
1702. I mean, this disgusting slut
with a tongue ring.
Copy !req
1703. And then they were
laughing and—
Copy !req
1704. I just can't
go out there ever.
Copy !req
1705. - Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
- Dad!
Copy !req
1706. - What are you doing?
- I'm sorry. I'm-I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1707. But I am.
And believe it or not,
Copy !req
1708. I know what it's like
to be a woman.
Copy !req
1709. I mean, it's not
as easy as it looks.
Copy !req
1710. You stood up for yourself. You know
how ahead of the game you are?
Copy !req
1711. Anyway, a guy that treats you like
that and talks to you like that,
Copy !req
1712. - he's not—
- Worth my time. Yes, I know.
Copy !req
1713. - It's true. He's not.
- He's a gameplayer, I hate that.
Copy !req
1714. You are so much smarter
than me.
Copy !req
1715. And look at you.
Copy !req
1716. That clown made out with a girl
with a tongue ring over you?
Copy !req
1717. Honey...
Copy !req
1718. you look beautiful.
Copy !req
1719. Thanks.
Copy !req
1720. Take me home, Dad.
Copy !req
1721. What am I doing?
She's not in the refrigerator.
Copy !req
1722. I wonder if it's too late
to go over there.
Copy !req
1723. No, it's not too late. It's never
too late to do the right thing.
Copy !req
1724. That's what I'll do. I'll go over
there and I'll do the right thing.
Copy !req
1725. Hello?
Copy !req
1726. Uh, hi, it's me.
Oh, I'm glad I found you.
Copy !req
1727. Uh—
Copy !req
1728. Can I come up?
Copy !req
1729. Darcy?
I need to—
Copy !req
1730. Hey.
Copy !req
1731. You need to what?
It's 1:00 in the morning.
Copy !req
1732. I need to talk to you.
Copy !req
1733. Okay.
Copy !req
1734. Thanks.
Copy !req
1735. So, you sleep here now?
Copy !req
1736. I thought I might as well give it a
try before I have to sell the place.
Copy !req
1737. Sell it? You're not
selling the place.
Copy !req
1738. Can't afford to keep it.
I don't have a job.
Copy !req
1739. You know, you ought to try
returning some of your phone calls.
Copy !req
1740. - You got your job back.
- Oh, do I?
Copy !req
1741. - You're a riot. You know that?
- It's true.
Copy !req
1742. Dan told me so himself.
Copy !req
1743. Why would he tell you that? I
didn't do the job he hired me to do.
Copy !req
1744. Even I don't blame him
for firing me.
Copy !req
1745. Look, I'm, uh—
You can come on in.
Copy !req
1746. I don't have any chairs,
but if you wanna—
Copy !req
1747. What if I told you that...
Copy !req
1748. you did everything
that you were hired to do—
Copy !req
1749. everything— but that
someone was sabotaging you?
Copy !req
1750. Picking your brain,
swiping your ideas and—
Copy !req
1751. Well, you— you never
even knew what hit you.
Copy !req
1752. - How is that possible?
- Oh, trust me, it's possible.
Copy !req
1753. Well, who would do
such an awful thing?
Copy !req
1754. I would.
Copy !req
1755. I was a dope
with a corner office.
Copy !req
1756. And when you came with the job
I was supposed to have,
Copy !req
1757. I mean, it didn't matter
to me that...
Copy !req
1758. you were better at it than me
or you earned it more than I did.
Copy !req
1759. As far as I was concerned, it was
mine, and I was gonna get it back.
Copy !req
1760. So I took advantage of you
in the worst possible way.
Copy !req
1761. Have you ever done that?
Copy !req
1762. Taken the wrong road and—
No, of course you haven't.
Copy !req
1763. You wouldn't do that.
That's just—
Copy !req
1764. Somebody like me does that.
Copy !req
1765. And, uh—
Copy !req
1766. The problem with that was that while
I was digging the hole under you...
Copy !req
1767. I found out
all about you.
Copy !req
1768. And the more I found out...
Copy !req
1769. the more you dazzled me.
Copy !req
1770. I mean, shook my world,
changed my life, dazzled me.
Copy !req
1771. And guys like that ex-husband
of yours, he made you feel that...
Copy !req
1772. the price you pay
just for being you...
Copy !req
1773. is that you don't get
to have love.
Copy !req
1774. Isn't that what you were
trying to say the other night?
Copy !req
1775. That you weren't complete?
That you weren't really a winner?
Copy !req
1776. Everything about you—
Copy !req
1777. how smart you are,
how good you are—
Copy !req
1778. everything just makes me
want you even more.
Copy !req
1779. Oh, wow.
Boy.
Copy !req
1780. So it looks like I'm here
at 1:00 in the morning...
Copy !req
1781. being all heroic
trying to rescue you,
Copy !req
1782. but the truth is...
Copy !req
1783. I'm the one that needs
to be rescued here.
Copy !req
1784. I sure wish
I could read your mind.
Copy !req
1785. Well, I was thinking that, um,
Copy !req
1786. if everything you're saying
is true,
Copy !req
1787. if I really have
my job back...
Copy !req
1788. then I think you're fired.
Copy !req
1789. Well, I never— I never really
thought about it from that angle.
Copy !req
1790. Well, not that
I don't deserve it. I-do-do—
Copy !req
1791. I'm stuttering.
Copy !req
1792. Now I feel kind of, uh,
Copy !req
1793. embarrassed that I told you
I needed to be rescued.
Copy !req
1794. But that's-that's fine.
Copy !req
1795. That's it?
Copy !req
1796. I don't want that to be it.
Copy !req
1797. I don't want that
to be it at all.
Copy !req
1798. Then don't let a little thing like
me firing you stand in your way.
Copy !req
1799. I didn't know
what to react to first.
Copy !req
1800. Hey, news flash.
Copy !req
1801. I took the wrong road.
Copy !req
1802. What kind of knight
in shining armor would I be...
Copy !req
1803. if the man I love
needs rescuing...
Copy !req
1804. and I just let him
walk out my door?
Copy !req
1805. My hero.
Copy !req