1. So it's 6 pm in the night time...Copy !req
2. which is when I wake up.Copy !req
3. This is always really scary part for me.Copy !req
4. Yes! Night time.Copy !req
5. So, now I'm going to wake up
my flat mates.Copy !req
6. I really love
living in a flatting situation.Copy !req
7. Wake up!Copy !req
8. Wake up everyone!Copy !req
9. I like to hang out with other vampires.Copy !req
10. I like the company.Copy !req
11. Awaken!Copy !req
12. A wakey, wakey!Copy !req
13. I just really like having a good time
with my friends.Copy !req
14. Deacon...Copy !req
15. Hi!Copy !req
16. Hey!Copy !req
17. Deacon...Copy !req
18. How was your night, last night?Copy !req
19. I transformed into a dog and had sex.Copy !req
20. Cool!Copy !req
21. We're gonna have a little flat-meeting
in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay?Copy !req
22. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
23. - Should I close this?
- Yes.Copy !req
24. Vladislav?Copy !req
25. Sorry! Sorry!Copy !req
26. What?Copy !req
27. - Hey!
- What time is it?Copy !req
28. Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting
in about 10 minutes.Copy !req
29. Twenty.Copy !req
30. Okay... is it...Copy !req
31. So we're...Copy !req
32. in Petyr's room.Copy !req
33. I'm just going to wake him up.Copy !req
34. Petyr?Copy !req
35. Petyr!Copy !req
36. Petyr, wake up.Copy !req
37. Hey, listen.Copy !req
38. We're just having a flat-meeting
upstairs in about 10 minutes.Copy !req
39. You don't have to come but I thought I'dCopy !req
40. extend an invitation to you just in case.Copy !req
41. Umm...Copy !req
42. There's a lot of stuff on
the floor down here Petyr, and...Copy !req
43. like this seems, I don't...Copy !req
44. Ah! It's a spinal column, yuck!Copy !req
45. And I was thinking, maybe...Copy !req
46. I just should bring a broom
down here for youCopy !req
47. if you wanted to sweep up
some of the skeletons.Copy !req
48. I don't know.Copy !req
49. You know...Copy !req
50. Okay.Copy !req
51. I got you this chicken.Copy !req
52. Is Petyr coming?Copy !req
53. - Should we wait?
- Petyr's...Copy !req
54. eight thousand years old.Copy !req
55. We're not going to
have Petyr at the meeting.Copy !req
56. Okay, so...Copy !req
57. Wanted to have a quick chat
about flat responsibilities because..Copy !req
58. uh... guys I think that we're
not all pulling our weight here.Copy !req
59. We're not just pointing
the finger at you, Deacon.Copy !req
60. You're a cool guy but you're
not pulling your weight in the flat.Copy !req
61. Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool.Copy !req
62. - No, that's not the point though...
- Yeah, no, I know, I know...Copy !req
63. It's not a flat meeting
about how cool you are.Copy !req
64. - I do my flat chores.
- No, you don't!Copy !req
65. Yes, I do.Copy !req
66. No, that's why we're
having the flat-meeting.Copy !req
67. The point is Deacon that you
have not done the dishes for 5 years.Copy !req
68. Vladislav is right.Copy !req
69. It's unacceptable to haveCopy !req
70. so many bloody dishes
all over this bench like that...Copy !req
71. I'm so embarrassed
when people come over here.Copy !req
72. Why does it matter?Copy !req
73. You bring them over, you kill them!Copy !req
74. Vampires don't do dishes.Copy !req
75. Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire.Copy !req
76. He's always doing crazy things.
Saying crazy things.Copy !req
77. He's just like the young,
bad boy of the group.Copy !req
78. Okay, so...Copy !req
79. One day I was...Copy !req
80. selling my wares...Copy !req
81. And I walked passed this old creepy castle.Copy !req
82. and I look at it and think...Copy !req
83. 'very old and creepy.'Copy !req
84. And then this creature...Copy !req
85. flies at me!Copy !req
86. It dragged me back to this dark dungeon.Copy !req
87. And bit into my neck.Copy !req
88. And just at the point of death...Copy !req
89. this creature...Copy !req
90. forced me to suck its foul blood.Copy !req
91. And then...Copy !req
92. it opened it's wings, like this.Copy !req
93. And hovered above me...Copy !req
94. screeching... ah! Haha-haa!Copy !req
95. 'Now you are vampire.'Copy !req
96. And it was Petyr.Copy !req
97. And we're still friends today.Copy !req
98. Vlad, you were great.
You put out the recycling.Copy !req
99. Which was really cool.Copy !req
100. And!Copy !req
101. The other day,
I dragged mans body down the hallway,Copy !req
102. and noticed that there was no dust.Copy !req
103. Like, I kind of...
I kind of swept the hallway.Copy !req
104. Vladislav, is just like...Copy !req
105. this older vampire whoCopy !req
106. grew up in the medieval times.Copy !req
107. And you know, to be living this longCopy !req
108. and to have seen the things that he's seenCopy !req
109. and still like, kind of have it together,Copy !req
110. I mean, hat's off to him.Copy !req
111. Bloody hell!Copy !req
112. Sorry!Copy !req
113. He's a really great guy.Copy !req
114. A bit a of a pervert.Copy !req
115. He has some pretty old ideas about things.Copy !req
116. We should get some slaves!Copy !req
117. When I first became a vampire...Copy !req
118. I was quite tyrannical.Copy !req
119. I was known for torturing a lot of people.Copy !req
120. This is my torture chamber.Copy !req
121. I don't come in here, often anymore.Copy !req
122. I tended to torture when
I was in a bad place.Copy !req
123. My thing was, I would poke someoneCopy !req
124. with implements.Copy !req
125. I was known as 'Vladislav The Poker'.Copy !req
126. It's been like this the whole time...Copy !req
127. - Okay, so...
- Viago is a little...Copy !req
128. pedantic.Copy !req
129. The washing and the rubbish, I did that.Copy !req
130. Deacon, on dishes and
it still hasn't moved in 5 years.Copy !req
131. He was an 18th century dandy.Copy !req
132. So, he can be very fussy.Copy !req
133. He nags and nags...Copy !req
134. in the lounge the other day,Copy !req
135. and there was blood
all over my nice antique couch.Copy !req
136. Which one, the red one?Copy !req
137. Well, it's red now, yeah.Copy !req
138. If you're going to eat a victim
on my nice clean couchCopy !req
139. put down some newspaper on the floorCopy !req
140. and some towels.
It's not hard to do.Copy !req
141. We're vampires!
We don't put down towels.Copy !req
142. Some vampires do.Copy !req
143. Well, not serious ones!Copy !req
144. When you get 4 vampires in a flatCopy !req
145. obviously there's
going to be a lot of tension.Copy !req
146. There's tension in any,
any flatting situation.Copy !req
147. It's settled then. We all do our jobs,
starting with a certain Deacon...Copy !req
148. - I will do my dishes!
- Good then!Copy !req
149. This is bullshit.Copy !req
150. I uh, became a vampire when I was 16.Copy !req
151. That is why I always look 16.Copy !req
152. In those days, of course,
life was tough for a 16 year old.Copy !req
153. Vampires have had a pretty bad rap.Copy !req
154. We're not these mopey
old creatures who live in castles.Copy !req
155. And while some,
most of us are, a lot are... but...Copy !req
156. There are also those of us,
who like to flat together inCopy !req
157. really small countries like New Zealand.Copy !req
158. I was a... Nazi vampire.Copy !req
159. After the war, which the Nazi's lost...Copy !req
160. I don't know,
if you know that the Nazi's lost...Copy !req
161. that war.Copy !req
162. If you were a Nazi, after the war...Copy !req
163. and if you were a vampire...Copy !req
164. and if you were a Nazi vampire...Copy !req
165. No way.Copy !req
166. I was out of there.Copy !req
167. Yah, I came to this country for love.Copy !req
168. Uh, there was a girl. Human girl.Copy !req
169. And...Copy !req
170. I...Copy !req
171. thought she was fantastic.
She was...Copy !req
172. absolutely amazing.Copy !req
173. I was smitten.Copy !req
174. Her family emigrated to New Zealand.Copy !req
175. And, I thought,Copy !req
176. 'you know what, to hell with it.Copy !req
177. I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her
and tell her how I feel.'Copy !req
178. I told my servant Phillip,Copy !req
179. 'Send me to New Zealand.'Copy !req
180. He...Copy !req
181. put the wrong postage on my coffin.Copy !req
182. So the whole journey took about 18 months.Copy !req
183. And when I got here, she had...Copy !req
184. found someone else.Copy !req
185. She had fallen in love.Copy !req
186. And...Copy !req
187. She was married.Copy !req
188. She gave me this before she left.Copy !req
189. There she is.Copy !req
190. And that's me, I put myself in there too.Copy !req
191. She told me it was pure silver.Copy !req
192. Unfortunately...Copy !req
193. we vampires cannot wear silver.Copy !req
194. Yeah...Copy !req
195. It's about as long as I can wear that.Copy !req
196. Tonight, we are going out
into Wellington Central.Copy !req
197. It is important that we look good.Copy !req
198. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah.Copy !req
199. One of the unfortunate things about
not having a reflection is that you...Copy !req
200. don't know exactly what you look like.Copy !req
201. Look!Copy !req
202. Look!Copy !req
203. A ghost cup!Copy !req
204. Floating all by itself!Copy !req
205. We can give each other feedback andCopy !req
206. help each other out until
we're looking great.Copy !req
207. Yes, some of our clothes are from victims.Copy !req
208. We might bite someone and then...Copy !req
209. you think,
'Ooh, those are some nice pants!'.Copy !req
210. - Do work these?
- No!Copy !req
211. Change it!Copy !req
212. When you are a vampire,
you become very sexy.Copy !req
213. We are trying to attract victims to us.Copy !req
214. Not sure about the waist coat.Copy !req
215. I go for a look which I call
Dead But Delicious.Copy !req
216. We are the bait.Copy !req
217. But we're also the trap.Copy !req
218. Hello ladies.Copy !req
219. And my love, we are ready to go
into town and party!Copy !req
220. Vampire... vampire style.Copy !req
221. When we go into town,
we must try to blend in.Copy !req
222. Just walking the streets.Copy !req
223. Coming into town.
Um, it's really cool becauseCopy !req
224. just for one brief momentCopy !req
225. I feel...Copy !req
226. Homos!Copy !req
227. The trouble with being a vampire is youCopy !req
228. have to be invited in, to go in.Copy !req
229. We would like to come into the bar, please.Copy !req
230. - Invite us into the bar, please.
- $5... you can walk in.Copy !req
231. Will you invite us in!Copy !req
232. If the humans find out what we were...Copy !req
233. they would destroy us.Copy !req
234. There are between 60 and 70 vampires
in the greater Wellington region.Copy !req
235. - Obvious vampire.
- Joline!Copy !req
236. Hello!Copy !req
237. How embarrassing.Copy !req
238. He's um... a guy I used to work with
when I was human.Copy !req
239. - Is he gone?
- Yeah, he's gone.Copy !req
240. I've been draining him all night.Copy !req
241. I've been a very thirsty girl.Copy !req
242. Hey guys!Copy !req
243. Being bitten as a little
boy or a little girlCopy !req
244. you're always going to look the same age.Copy !req
245. What are you doing tonight?Copy !req
246. Are you going to kill some perverts?Copy !req
247. - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile.
- Cool.Copy !req
248. Okay, let's just go to Big Kumara.Copy !req
249. - Have a good night, guys!
- Yeah, you have a good night, bye.Copy !req
250. The Big Kumara is
vampire owned and operated,Copy !req
251. and so we can always get in.Copy !req
252. It's the hottest night spot
for vampires in Wellington.Copy !req
253. - Come on in, guys, come on in.
- Thank you. Thanks.Copy !req
254. Perhaps you could bring
some people to the house.Copy !req
255. - Sure.
- Perhaps some virgins?Copy !req
256. Virgins? Yep, okay.Copy !req
257. Any kind of preference
in terms of gender or?Copy !req
258. Maybe some ladies?Copy !req
259. Yep. Ladies.Copy !req
260. Perhaps a guy?Copy !req
261. One of each?Copy !req
262. One of each will be cool.Copy !req
263. My relationship with Deacon is...Copy !req
264. well, I'm his familiar.
He's my Master.Copy !req
265. He tells me what to do, I do it.Copy !req
266. We have that kind of master/servant
relationship which works nicely; actually.Copy !req
267. - Hello!
- Hello.Copy !req
268. Oh, it's a little bit of blood.Copy !req
269. Um, my husband, he's a...
he's a haemophiliac.Copy !req
270. You know, someone that bleeds a lot.Copy !req
271. Yep.Copy !req
272. Any kind of age range?Copy !req
273. - Young.
- But not, not kids?Copy !req
274. Not kids.Copy !req
275. 18 to 30?Copy !req
276. Definitely younger than yourself.Copy !req
277. Okay, so 18 to 30.Copy !req
278. So it's a dinner party?Copy !req
279. - I'll be there? - Yes!
- You'll be there! - Dinner Party!Copy !req
280. - The guys will be there?
- Yes!Copy !req
281. - We'll all be there?
- Yes, we will dress up...Copy !req
282. - Ok, great.
- ... and then... eat them.Copy !req
283. - Okay.. - Should be fun.
- ... great.Copy !req
284. I was just wondering
if we could talk about the um...Copy !req
285. Do you know of a night... dentist?Copy !req
286. Because I have this thing here.Copy !req
287. I was just wondering if
we could talk about the... the deal.Copy !req
288. - Hm?
- The deal?Copy !req
289. - The dishes?
- No, no, the... you know, the..deal?Copy !req
290. The deal is that he is going
to give me eternal life.Copy !req
291. Um, which is...Copy !req
292. very exciting.Copy !req
293. Well, I just feel like I kind of
reached my potential andCopy !req
294. I wouldn't wanna, kind of,
get any older before, I kinda...Copy !req
295. I just feel like I'm the best version
of myself that I can be.Copy !req
296. Yes... relax.Copy !req
297. It's just that it's been
41/2 years and I just...Copy !req
298. but it's...
I'm doing your pot plants andCopy !req
299. I'm doing your dry-cleaning.
Now I'm doing your dishes...Copy !req
300. and I'm doing...
And the dentist?Copy !req
301. And the dentist, and it's just taking an
awful long time, so I was just wondering...Copy !req
302. - Be gone!
- Okay.Copy !req
303. - I see you later!
- Okay.Copy !req
304. One of the most unfortunate things
about being a vampire is that...Copy !req
305. you have to drink human blood.Copy !req
306. I like to make a
real evening of it.Copy !req
307. Lovely!Copy !req
308. Play some music.Copy !req
309. Maybe give them some nice wine.Copy !req
310. It's their last moment alive so
why not make it a nice experience?Copy !req
311. So...Copy !req
312. Tell we what you do, what do you...Copy !req
313. I'm thinking about
going back to Uni, actually.Copy !req
314. Oh, you are?
Put that...Copy !req
315. over there.Copy !req
316. University, yah?Copy !req
317. Yeah, but after that,
I'm gonna travel.Copy !req
318. Yeah...Copy !req
319. I've really wanted
to go overseas for ages, so...Copy !req
320. saving up and I'm gonna go to Spain andCopy !req
321. Italy and London and...Copy !req
322. Yeah.Copy !req
323. Okay. Excuse me.Copy !req
324. Just put that there.Copy !req
325. There we go.Copy !req
326. Shit!Copy !req
327. Well, that didn't go so great.Copy !req
328. Um, I hit the main artery.Copy !req
329. So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um...Copy !req
330. On the upside,
I think she had a really good time.Copy !req
331. So, it's quite late and uh...Copy !req
332. I've managed to find a woman up,
watching television.Copy !req
333. And, uh, she seems like
she'd be a good victim.Copy !req
334. I'm just going to use hypnosis on her...Copy !req
335. See me...Copy !req
336. See me...Copy !req
337. She can't, she can't see me
from that angle.Copy !req
338. Vladislav used to be extremely powerful.Copy !req
339. He could hypnotize crowds of people.Copy !req
340. Great orgies. Twenty, thirty women.Copy !req
341. He could turn into all sorts of animals.Copy !req
342. But now he never get the faces right.Copy !req
343. He would kill anybody.
Men, women.Copy !req
344. Children. Burning... everything.Copy !req
345. It was totally great.Copy !req
346. But he suffered a humiliating defeat...Copy !req
347. at the hands of his arch nemesis...Copy !req
348. The Beast.Copy !req
349. And, he's never been the same.Copy !req
350. See me...Copy !req
351. See me...Copy !req
352. See me...Copy !req
353. See me...Copy !req
354. Would you like to come inside?Copy !req
355. - Jackie, welcome!
- HelloCopy !req
356. Come in!Copy !req
357. This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend.Copy !req
358. - And Josefine.
- Nice house.Copy !req
359. And this is Deacon,
my overseas friend from, Europe.Copy !req
360. Deacon and his friends need...Copy !req
361. victims.Copy !req
362. Hi! Please come in, welcome.Copy !req
363. They can't be people that...Copy !req
364. I actuallyCopy !req
365. envious them or like because of course
they will become victims.Copy !req
366. Hi! Josefine?Copy !req
367. No, I sat next to you in English.
Remember?Copy !req
368. Um, you used to call me the Jaxorcist?Copy !req
369. No you did, no you did. Yeah.Copy !req
370. No, you started that.Copy !req
371. You were the one who started calling
me that and then everyone...Copy !req
372. and then it kind of caught on.Copy !req
373. Yeah.Copy !req
374. Okay, bye then. Bye.Copy !req
375. She's in.Copy !req
376. Do you like that, Nick?Copy !req
377. Yep, that's nice.Copy !req
378. I will go and prepare dinner.Copy !req
379. Nick, are you a virgin at all?Copy !req
380. Um, what?Copy !req
381. Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin?Copy !req
382. - Yes.
- Um, no.Copy !req
383. I knew it.Copy !req
384. You were a virgin when
we were seeing each other?Copy !req
385. Yeah, I was twelve.Copy !req
386. You said he was a virgin.Copy !req
387. I think we drink virgin blood because...Copy !req
388. it sounds cool.Copy !req
389. I think of it like this...Copy !req
390. If you're going to eat a sandwich..Copy !req
391. You will just enjoy it more if
you knew no one had fucked it.Copy !req
392. Let's concentrate on Josefine then.Copy !req
393. Are you a virgin?Copy !req
394. I'm not, no.Copy !req
395. Okay, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
396. Because I totally...Copy !req
397. pinned her as a Virgin.Copy !req
398. She looks like a virgin.
She talks like a virgin, I mean...Copy !req
399. Who would have sex with her?
I wouldn't.Copy !req
400. I would.Copy !req
401. Oh.Copy !req
402. Okay, good...Copy !req
403. - there's 2 dinners... yum.
- Nick?Copy !req
404. Do you like bisghetti?Copy !req
405. Uh... yep.
I usually like it.Copy !req
406. But, be better if it was warm?Copy !req
407. So, this is my favorite trick.Copy !req
408. We present our guest
with a plate of bisghetti.Copy !req
409. And then, I would say,
' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?'Copy !req
410. Please, Nick.Copy !req
411. Eat some bisghetti.Copy !req
412. I didn't realize you enjoyed eating worms.Copy !req
413. Nick.Copy !req
414. - No... no!
- They are worms. - Fuck off!Copy !req
415. There's worms moving around on my plate.Copy !req
416. - It is worm like but not actually worms.
- It is really bisghetti!Copy !req
417. We stole that idea from The Lost Boys.Copy !req
418. But I put a nice twist on it.Copy !req
419. Nick?Copy !req
420. How does it feel to
have a snake for a penis?Copy !req
421. Jackie?Copy !req
422. My penis has disappeared.
It's a cobra snake.Copy !req
423. Nobody's gonna mistake your penis
for a cobra, Nick, okay?Copy !req
424. - Believe you me.
- What have you put in my bisghetti?Copy !req
425. Now it is just a.. normal penis.Copy !req
426. I'm out. I'm out.Copy !req
427. Josefine?Copy !req
428. Do you like bisghetti?Copy !req
429. Look, these freaks...Copy !req
430. spike my bisghetti,Copy !req
431. make my cock
turn into a snake is not cool.Copy !req
432. Not cool.Copy !req
433. You don't think this is weird?Copy !req
434. For fuck's sake...Copy !req
435. Jackie?Copy !req
436. Jackie!Copy !req
437. - Sorry Nick.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
438. Jackie!Copy !req
439. Shit!Copy !req
440. Fuck off.Copy !req
441. Where am I?Copy !req
442. Fuck.Copy !req
443. Fuck!Copy !req
444. Freaks!Copy !req
445. Ah, no...Copy !req
446. Petyr got him.Copy !req
447. Poor guy...Copy !req
448. Who let Petyr out?Copy !req
449. Hey, guys!Copy !req
450. Hey, what are you guys doing?Copy !req
451. What are you doing, Nick?Copy !req
452. Come into the house.Copy !req
453. - Hi, my name is Nick.
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
454. I've been a vampire for 2 months.Copy !req
455. Probably, I reckon the best thing
about being a vampire is flying.Copy !req
456. Like I've always wanted to,
I think everyone has always wanted to fly.Copy !req
457. And now I can do it.Copy !req
458. No...Copy !req
459. Nick, why don't you use the front door?Copy !req
460. Why would I?
I'm flying.Copy !req
461. Petyr bit me.Copy !req
462. Sucked all my blood out.Copy !req
463. I woke up in his basement and...Copy !req
464. he offered me some blood.Copy !req
465. I just thought it was something...Copy !req
466. some German thing that these guys do.Copy !req
467. The transition, into becoming
a vampire was pretty hard.Copy !req
468. I looked like shit to start off with, like,
I had a massive gash on my neck.Copy !req
469. Like you could see the inside of my neck.Copy !req
470. I had blood all over my top.Copy !req
471. And then I came home and
I was sweating.Copy !req
472. I was either really hot or really cold.Copy !req
473. It was like a hang-over
times ten, I reckon.Copy !req
474. It was really bad.Copy !req
475. It was quite similar to having the flu.Copy !req
476. Except, the only difference
would probably be...Copy !req
477. that my eyes bleed heaps.Copy !req
478. Are you guys not cold?Copy !req
479. I don't know,
I can't really explain it.Copy !req
480. It's like, just yeah,
real hot and cold and like...Copy !req
481. bloody eyes and flying and stuff.Copy !req
482. The neighbors can see you
flying around the house.Copy !req
483. You want to draw attention
to this house, hm?Copy !req
484. You got a whole...
documentary crew following you around.Copy !req
485. I am doing an erotic dance for my friends.Copy !req
486. And you ruined it.
I was in the zone.Copy !req
487. My friends are loving it.Copy !req
488. I love it. I saw the end of it.
It looked great.Copy !req
489. I don't, I don't know if I'm...
being, if I'm accepted yet.Copy !req
490. But... I don't know.
I think it's getting there.Copy !req
491. I don't know the oldest stuff,
but they're quite naive...Copy !req
492. when it comes to the real world.Copy !req
493. So...Copy !req
494. I don't know,
it would be cool to just...Copy !req
495. Hang out with them.
They could teach me some stuff.Copy !req
496. But I could probably
teach them a few things.Copy !req
497. At the start it was like,
'Oh no, like I'm..'Copy !req
498. '... I'm dead.'Copy !req
499. It kind of affected my friendship with
normal people, my family and stuff.Copy !req
500. But, of the way I see it,
I've got a whole new family.Copy !req
501. They accept me for who I am.
And I accept them for who they are.Copy !req
502. Even though...Copy !req
503. one of them killed me.Copy !req
504. Where should we go tonight?Copy !req
505. Let's go to the Big Kumara.Copy !req
506. Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland?
We never get in to Boogie Wonderland.Copy !req
507. My friend Richard's the bouncer.
He can get us in.Copy !req
508. - What? Really?
- He'll invite us in.Copy !req
509. - Stu's keen, Stu loves it.
- Cool, that's two.Copy !req
510. Ah, this is my friend Stu.Copy !req
511. - Hey.
- He works in computers and stuff.Copy !req
512. Originally he went out with my sister.Copy !req
513. And then they broke up.Copy !req
514. I don't really give a...Copy !req
515. It's got nothing to do with me.Copy !req
516. And um... you can't hear me.Copy !req
517. Yeah, so basically...Copy !req
518. Stu, he doesn't know that I'm a vampire.Copy !req
519. And he doesn't know that
my friends are vampires.Copy !req
520. He just thinks that I've just...Copy !req
521. met some colourful friends.Copy !req
522. I brought him around to the house
and they all thought I brought...Copy !req
523. like a meal for everyone.Copy !req
524. It's just like...Copy !req
525. it really, really sucks...Copy !req
526. that I can't eat him.Copy !req
527. I just want to like...Copy !req
528. Look at it.
He's the reddest guy I know.Copy !req
529. Right, you can hear me.Copy !req
530. Yeah, you like
computer based stuff, hey, mainly?Copy !req
531. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
532. - Geo databases.
- Yeah, like computers mainly.Copy !req
533. Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland
or The Big Kumara?Copy !req
534. Big Kumara!Copy !req
535. Great.Copy !req
536. Careful Stu, hurry up.Copy !req
537. I don't think Nick should have been
turned into a vampire.Copy !req
538. He's such a dick.Copy !req
539. - How are you brother!
- Looking great man!Copy !req
540. Gentlemen! you are most welcome!Copy !req
541. We're in Boogie Wonderland!Copy !req
542. So here we are at Boogie Wonderland
and it is so much fun.Copy !req
543. - They have an electric floor -
This is amazing!Copy !req
544. I'm just so happy to be here.Copy !req
545. This place is pretty cheesy.Copy !req
546. Also, did you see the jacket he wore?Copy !req
547. He's wearing the same jacket as me.Copy !req
548. - It's not exactly the same.
- It's pretty close.Copy !req
549. Awesome night.Copy !req
550. I'm just loving
being a vampire at the moment.Copy !req
551. Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms.Copy !req
552. Ah, on Wednesday's there'll be,
like a fear factor competition.Copy !req
553. You can win like t-shirts and
hats and spot prizes.Copy !req
554. I can smell werewolves.Copy !req
555. Okay, we're just about to walk past some
werewolves so some shit might go down!Copy !req
556. Look out guys. Don't catch fleas.Copy !req
557. - What's that, mate?
- Deacon.Copy !req
558. - Sorry what?
- Keep going, keep walking.Copy !req
559. Keep walking!Copy !req
560. We heard that mate. We've
got sensitive hearing.Copy !req
561. - Have you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
562. What are you filming?
Some music video, is it?Copy !req
563. - We don't want any trouble.
- I do!Copy !req
564. - Why did you start it?
- Have I got your heckles up?Copy !req
565. Huh?Copy !req
566. Why don't you go smell
your own crotches, huh?Copy !req
567. - Come on Deacon, stop it.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
568. We don't smell our own crotches.
We smell each others crotches.Copy !req
569. And it's a, form of... greeting.Copy !req
570. Your on camera, mate, don't, don't do it...Copy !req
571. What?Copy !req
572. It's okay, cause I know this guy.Copy !req
573. It's count Fagula.Copy !req
574. Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear.Copy !req
575. - Sorry... they... they...
- We're werewolves.Copy !req
576. - Not swearwolves.
- What are we?Copy !req
577. We're werewolves, not swearwolves.Copy !req
578. No, listen to Anton,
that's offensive...Copy !req
579. That's a really
offensive word to call people.Copy !req
580. Well, at least you're talking
about a bundle of sticks.Copy !req
581. Chase this bundle of sticks...Copy !req
582. Werewolves!Copy !req
583. Don't get it!Copy !req
584. No, no, it's not real...
Nathan, it's not real.Copy !req
585. He's just gonna take of his gloves.Copy !req
586. Ah, shit, man!
What the fuck you do that for?Copy !req
587. Hey! Don't swear.
We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it.Copy !req
588. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey.Copy !req
589. Calm down. Calm down!Copy !req
590. - Oh shit, I've still got my glasses on!
- Dion! Dion!Copy !req
591. Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
592. Do the breathing! Do the breathing.Copy !req
593. Do the breathing.
Count to ten mate. Count to ten.Copy !req
594. - Come on.
- Hold it.Copy !req
595. Count to ten, human again.Copy !req
596. - Ten, human again.
- It's alright. It's not full moon.Copy !req
597. Thanks a lot guys.Copy !req
598. - Enjoy your night, yeah?
- You should be ashamed of yourselves, man.Copy !req
599. Great, we didn't want this to happen.Copy !req
600. - Come on guys.
- Hey!Copy !req
601. Say it! Don't spray it, bitch!Copy !req
602. Declan!Copy !req
603. - Why are you swearing all the time?
- Well, he riled me out...Copy !req
604. - Were they actually werewolves?
- Yeah.Copy !req
605. Are you okay, Stu?Copy !req
606. I just don't really know how to...Copy !req
607. approach this,
cause I never done it before.Copy !req
608. Um, and he is a good friend.Copy !req
609. And I don't wanna...Copy !req
610. I don't wanna break that friendship but...Copy !req
611. then again, what do you do when
someone tells you, that they're a vampire?Copy !req
612. I'm expecting him to be angry.Copy !req
613. He might be scared
and expecting a lot of things to,Copy !req
614. to bubble to the surface.Copy !req
615. You probably noticed it's been...Copy !req
616. I've been going
through a few changes lately.Copy !req
617. - Yeah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
618. Yeah.Copy !req
619. Like...Copy !req
620. I don't show up for lunch anymore.Copy !req
621. - Yeah.
- How I've...Copy !req
622. changed all our, all our tennis games...Copy !req
623. to night time tennis games.Copy !req
624. Right...Copy !req
625. And how you went from beating meCopy !req
626. every time and now how ICopy !req
627. I've won the last three?Copy !req
628. Yeah.Copy !req
629. So...Copy !req
630. The reason I brought you here...Copy !req
631. is to tell you that...Copy !req
632. I'm a vampire.Copy !req
633. Stu took it pretty well.Copy !req
634. He's definitely my best mate.Copy !req
635. And I'm not gonna eat him.Copy !req
636. But if they ever offer you bisghetti...Copy !req
637. Um... you shouldn't eat it.Copy !req
638. I think they offered me biscotti.Copy !req
639. Vampire mates don't eat human mates.Copy !req
640. And no matter how much I want to eat him...Copy !req
641. I will never eat him cause he's my mate.Copy !req
642. - Hey Stu?
- Yeah.Copy !req
643. Yeah.Copy !req
644. Stu is great.Copy !req
645. We really like him.Copy !req
646. At first I wanted to kill him.Copy !req
647. But now I'm glad I've spent
the time to get to know him.Copy !req
648. Yeah, of course he looks delicious
with his big red cheeks.Copy !req
649. But we've all got an agreement
that we're not going to eat Stu.Copy !req
650. - Right?
- Right.Copy !req
651. The guys upstairs, they're...
they're loving him.Copy !req
652. That's...
at the start, they were a bit,Copy !req
653. 'Who's this human
you're bringing into the house?'Copy !req
654. But it took them literally
two minutes and...Copy !req
655. they like him more
than they like me, I reckon.Copy !req
656. I'm knitting a scarf for Stu.Copy !req
657. Try and attack. Use your legs.Copy !req
658. Wow.Copy !req
659. - Step back and block...
- Punching high.Copy !req
660. - Yep.
- High.Copy !req
661. Yep.Copy !req
662. I'm just, what I'm trying to say is...Copy !req
663. cause I know that you...Copy !req
664. you turned me into a vampire.Copy !req
665. Maybe don't do that to him.Copy !req
666. He's a... vegetarian.Copy !req
667. Last thing he'd want to do is eat...Copy !req
668. a live being or eat blood or eat meat...Copy !req
669. - I am controlling this.
- Get it, get it!Copy !req
670. It's quite amazing to see how far
technology can go forwardCopy !req
671. if you're not paying attention.Copy !req
672. One message received.Copy !req
673. There is a crucifix behind you.Copy !req
674. So, down on that one, like,
half way down and we'll focus it.Copy !req
675. Maybe smile.Copy !req
676. - Anything you want to find, you...
- Yeah.Copy !req
677. - You can type your name here.
- I've lost...Copy !req
678. a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.Copy !req
679. Yes, now Google it.Copy !req
680. Stu is the first human friend
that I've had for long time.Copy !req
681. With humans there's a tendency to die.Copy !req
682. Yeah.Copy !req
683. We can look at her photos.Copy !req
684. - Ah, oh yes.
- Or we can poke her.Copy !req
685. Yes.Copy !req
686. Can we see a movie with sunrise?Copy !req
687. - What? Shit!
- Whoo...Copy !req
688. Nice...Copy !req
689. If you push images,
then we can see pictures of virgins.Copy !req
690. - Ah, yes. Yes.
- Yah, yah...Copy !req
691. I don't think she's
a virgin if she's doing that.Copy !req
692. There he is, yeah.Copy !req
693. This is my old servant, Phillip.Copy !req
694. - So, we're gonna call him.
- Yeah.Copy !req
695. And...Copy !req
696. screen...Copy !req
697. My God, that's him, that's him,
that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip.Copy !req
698. - He looks so old.Copy !req
699. Yeah, kind of like Google Maps,Copy !req
700. but like, more...
more layers of information.Copy !req
701. The movie Twilight, have you seen it?Copy !req
702. Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight.
You now the main guy?Copy !req
703. Twilight?Copy !req
704. That's me.Copy !req
705. There's cameras following me around.Copy !req
706. They could have chosen anyone.Copy !req
707. How many people have you told
you're are a vampire?Copy !req
708. - Not many.
- I heard that girl...Copy !req
709. talking about it
you said you're a vampire!Copy !req
710. Yeah, I told her.Copy !req
711. - Who else?
- Who did you tell?Copy !req
712. Uh, I told her hot friend.Copy !req
713. You can't tell everyone
that you're a vampire.Copy !req
714. Who's that guy?Copy !req
715. I don't know but I trust him.Copy !req
716. - You can't tell everyone.
- I won't.Copy !req
717. Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition.Copy !req
718. What's wrong with them?Copy !req
719. Um, vampire eyes.
Can't go into the sun.Copy !req
720. Oh my God, are they your fangs?Copy !req
721. For real?Copy !req
722. For real, real.Copy !req
723. Too real, real.Copy !req
724. I'm a vampire.Copy !req
725. - You're a vampire?
- Yeah.Copy !req
726. - I'm a vampire hunter mate.
- No you're not.Copy !req
727. - I am!
- You fucking piece of shit.Copy !req
728. I'll Skype you!Copy !req
729. I float.Copy !req
730. - I can transform into stuff.
- Same.Copy !req
731. - No you can't.
- Yeah.Copy !req
732. I'll show you.Copy !req
733. You show me.
You show me some of your vampire stuff.Copy !req
734. What have I got?
Um...Copy !req
735. Don't lie about transforming into shit.Copy !req
736. - Twilight!
- Shut up Nick!Copy !req
737. You're not Twilight.Copy !req
738. - What's your problem?
- You are my problem.Copy !req
739. Telling the world that we are vampires.Copy !req
740. And I'll tell the whole world
that you're an asshole now as well.Copy !req
741. Shut up!Copy !req
742. - Shut up!
- Guys?Copy !req
743. - You shut up!
- No, you shut up!Copy !req
744. - No, you shut up.
- You shut up.Copy !req
745. I'm Dracula, man!Copy !req
746. - You're not Dracula!
- I'm Dracula!Copy !req
747. You don't even know who Dracula is!Copy !req
748. You idiot!Copy !req
749. - Ooh, bat fight!
- Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah!Copy !req
750. Ah, Deacon!Copy !req
751. That wasn't fair, man!Copy !req
752. My fucking jacket, man!Copy !req
753. I don't care about your stupid jacket.Copy !req
754. - Deacon!
- You okay man?Copy !req
755. - Hey Stu?
- Mmm-hmm?Copy !req
756. How's your worms?Copy !req
757. Alright.Copy !req
758. You're eating worms.Copy !req
759. Can you do that shit when
you turn them into worms?Copy !req
760. No.Copy !req
761. Doesn't work on chips.Copy !req
762. Only works on things that
already look like worms.Copy !req
763. - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles?
- He knows now.Copy !req
764. Oh no. I wouldn't eat that.Copy !req
765. Why?Copy !req
766. Are you okay Nick?Copy !req
767. Alright?Copy !req
768. He ate a chip.Copy !req
769. I can't eat solids now, great.Copy !req
770. I can't sunbathe.Copy !req
771. I can't watch daytime TV.Copy !req
772. I can if I... yeah I guess I could.Copy !req
773. More, more than anything, just the chips.Copy !req
774. My favorite food.
I can't eat chips.Copy !req
775. I don't... it's just...Copy !req
776. I hate...Copy !req
777. I'll say it. I'm over being a vampire.
It's shit.Copy !req
778. So, don't, don't believe the hype.Copy !req
779. Jackie?Copy !req
780. Jackie, can I come in please?Copy !req
781. - Okay, off to bed guys!
- Hello children!Copy !req
782. Don't look at the man.Copy !req
783. I hate it when you
look at the man.Copy !req
784. Natasha, don't look at the man!Copy !req
785. I was going to bite you tonight.Copy !req
786. Really?Copy !req
787. But now I can't because
there's this Nick being a vampire.Copy !req
788. Sorry, sorry, I thought you
killed him 2 months ago.Copy !req
789. No, I didn't... no... he's a vampire.Copy !req
790. What do you mean?Copy !req
791. He jumped in front of your place.Copy !req
792. All I'm saying is that, um...Copy !req
793. You know if I had a penis,
I would have been...Copy !req
794. I would have been bitten years ago.Copy !req
795. I may have to penalize you.Copy !req
796. Perhaps another couple of years.
Perhaps 10 years.Copy !req
797. Hmm?Copy !req
798. Like one big circle,
just biting each others dicks.Copy !req
799. You know, they don't even wear shirts,
they wear blouses. It's, it's just...Copy !req
800. a big homo-erotic dick biting club.Copy !req
801. And I'm stuck here,
ironing their fucking frills.Copy !req
802. Also clean the bathroom, please.Copy !req
803. There's blood everywhere.
It is gruesome.Copy !req
804. Okay. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
805. Off to bed please.Copy !req
806. Katherine.Copy !req
807. She was so charming and nice.Copy !req
808. She was everything I wanted.Copy !req
809. Unfortunately...Copy !req
810. yeah, she was married.Copy !req
811. Sure, I wanted to kill the guy.Copy !req
812. I thought about, chopping his head off.Copy !req
813. Draining him of every
drop of blood that he had.Copy !req
814. Who wouldn't?Copy !req
815. But then, I also saw
how happy she was.Copy !req
816. And that made me kind of happy.Copy !req
817. And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so...Copy !req
818. I did the honorable thing and I just...Copy !req
819. stepped back.Copy !req
820. And let her live her life.Copy !req
821. Petyr!Copy !req
822. Petyr!Copy !req
823. Where is it?Copy !req
824. Petyr!Copy !req
825. Petyr!Copy !req
826. Petyr!Copy !req
827. Get water!Copy !req
828. - Get out of the sunlight!
- Get water! Get water!Copy !req
829. Get water!
Petyr, get away from the sunlight!Copy !req
830. Get in the shadows, Petyr!Copy !req
831. Get out of the sunlight!Copy !req
832. Get out of my way!Copy !req
833. I'm going in!Copy !req
834. I'm coming Petyr!Copy !req
835. - Deacon, no, it's sunlight!
- I'm coming for you!Copy !req
836. It's sunlight out there!Copy !req
837. It's sunlight!
It's sunlight.Copy !req
838. I was too late.Copy !req
839. Turn that thing off.Copy !req
840. Our friend has just been killed
in a fatal sunlight accident.Copy !req
841. So this is what I think happened.Copy !req
842. The vampire hunter...Copy !req
843. has broken through the window, here.Copy !req
844. Has impacted the table.
Breaking the table leg.Copy !req
845. Then he has come this way.Copy !req
846. Towards the tomb.Copy !req
847. Crucifix!Copy !req
848. Cover the crucifix!Copy !req
849. And then...Copy !req
850. Petyr has burst from the tomb.Copy !req
851. Pushed the tomb lid
on to the vampire hunter.Copy !req
852. And then the sunlight
has come through here.Copy !req
853. And burned Petyr alive.Copy !req
854. I think this is just a table leg,
which is...Copy !req
855. sanded down.Copy !req
856. - Do you think he hand sanded that, or?
- Yes.Copy !req
857. Imagine that, stuck in you...Copy !req
858. It's quite shocking down here, Nick.Copy !req
859. Look, here's our sweet Petyr.Copy !req
860. - Fuck!
- Burnt to a sizzle.Copy !req
861. - I can't figure out this.
- This is the vampire hunter.Copy !req
862. Is this his front?Copy !req
863. - Uh, who's this guy?
- Look at his...Copy !req
864. bloody head, all back to front.Copy !req
865. Twist it the other way,
the other way!Copy !req
866. Let's see who this guy is.Copy !req
867. - Uh! typical macho type.
- Yuck!Copy !req
868. It is.Copy !req
869. Oh, shit!Copy !req
870. I know that guy...Copy !req
871. - ... actually.
- You know him?Copy !req
872. - Yeah.
- What?Copy !req
873. I saw him the other night in town.Copy !req
874. Told him I was a vampire.Copy !req
875. What?Copy !req
876. I thought he was joking.
He said he was a vampire hunter.Copy !req
877. You let a vampire hunter into our house?Copy !req
878. I didn't let him in,
I just gave him my e-mail.Copy !req
879. Nick!Copy !req
880. I'll tear out your tongue...Copy !req
881. and shove it down your ass.Copy !req
882. Fucking hell!Copy !req
883. You killed Petyr with your big mouth!Copy !req
884. It was a mistake!Copy !req
885. Get up and stand
on this ceiling like a man.Copy !req
886. We can talk about this, okay?Copy !req
887. We can talk about this!Copy !req
888. - I'll kill you!
- I'm already dead!Copy !req
889. Stu, stay back!Copy !req
890. Shh! Shh! Someone's at the door, shh!Copy !req
891. I'll go, I'll go..Copy !req
892. Oh shit.Copy !req
893. - Good evening, sir.
- Hello police.Copy !req
894. Hi, I'm constable O'Leary.
This is constable Minogue.Copy !req
895. We're just responding to a report
of a possible forced entry and also...Copy !req
896. a rather large amount of shrieking.Copy !req
897. Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in
and just have a wee look around?Copy !req
898. Okay.Copy !req
899. What's with the fellow?
What's with the um, camera?Copy !req
900. Yeah, we're obviously just here
cause there was a phone callCopy !req
901. from the, a member of the public, um,
about a bit of disturbance.Copy !req
902. Um, some loud noises.Copy !req
903. - Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there?
- Mmm...Copy !req
904. And, also,
maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so...Copy !req
905. We're just checking over the scene.
Making sure every thing's, uh...Copy !req
906. You know, above board,
so to speak, and, uh...Copy !req
907. Making sure no-one's in danger,
that kind of thing.Copy !req
908. We might go up
and have a wee look up there,Copy !req
909. if that's alright with you?Copy !req
910. - Come on mate, you lead the way.
- Just uh... part of the job. Yep!Copy !req
911. Okay.Copy !req
912. - Smells a bit weird in here too, mate.
- Yeah.Copy !req
913. What do you call that?Copy !req
914. Barbecue.Copy !req
915. You will not notice anything
out of the ordinary.Copy !req
916. No, we certainly hope not.
Let's just...Copy !req
917. lets just keep going.Copy !req
918. - Hi there guys. How are yah?
- Hello.Copy !req
919. Hey fellas.Copy !req
920. Um, is this the room where we've
heard all the shouting coming from?Copy !req
921. That was me.Copy !req
922. Yeah, okay,
we've had a couple reports, okay?Copy !req
923. There's a couple of people
not all that happy aboutCopy !req
924. - the level of the noise here.
- Okay.Copy !req
925. You can't be screaming when
there's this many people around mate.Copy !req
926. You've got neighbors
on either side.Copy !req
927. Feeling nervous.Copy !req
928. I've hypnotized those cops.Copy !req
929. I'm not a great hypnotizer
so it could wear off any second.Copy !req
930. I really hope that those guys
don't kill those policeCopy !req
931. because then this means
more police will come.Copy !req
932. Possibly even Christians which is totally
the last things we need in this house.Copy !req
933. I can see you're having a good time.
End of the day...Copy !req
934. we got to keep the, uh,
the peace, okay?Copy !req
935. Whoa, whoa, whoa...Copy !req
936. See what I'm seeing?Copy !req
937. What's that Minogue?Copy !req
938. You're joking?Copy !req
939. Not a smoke alarm in sight.Copy !req
940. No smoke detectors, mate?Copy !req
941. Rule number 1:Copy !req
942. Smoke detectors.Copy !req
943. Okay.Copy !req
944. Rule number 2:
maybe not so many barbeque's inside.Copy !req
945. - Sort it out fellas.
- Okay.Copy !req
946. Barbeque smells really
strong down here, isn't it?Copy !req
947. What kind of marinade?Copy !req
948. - What kind of marinade you use?
- Who is this guy?Copy !req
949. Um...Copy !req
950. It's a friend who came to our party.Copy !req
951. Mate, you alright?Copy !req
952. - He's drunk.
- That's what I thought.Copy !req
953. Drunk guy.Copy !req
954. Look, you can't just leave him down
here like that, okay?Copy !req
955. This guy's not having a good time.Copy !req
956. He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning.Copy !req
957. Well, his soul is in hell, so don't worry.Copy !req
958. Well, I don't know where his soul is,Copy !req
959. but all I am saying is,
where's his blanket?Copy !req
960. There's a big slab of concrete on him.Copy !req
961. - Yeah.
- You can move that.Copy !req
962. It's definitely not
going to be comfortable.Copy !req
963. - Anything else, in here Minogue?
- No, I've seen enough.Copy !req
964. - Okay.
- Hang on a minute.Copy !req
965. What have we got here?Copy !req
966. - Yeah, what is that?
- This?Copy !req
967. - Oh, this?
- You can see this clearly as I can.Copy !req
968. Adhesive, mate.Copy !req
969. That's a flammable.Copy !req
970. - And then you got a lamp on top of that.
- Gee...!Copy !req
971. Directly underneath the power source.Copy !req
972. - That is quite bad.
- It's very bad.Copy !req
973. - It's a very bad combination
- And no smoke detectors again are there?Copy !req
974. - No.
- Yes, there are.Copy !req
975. - Yes, there are.
- Okay, there are.Copy !req
976. Lots to think about guys.Copy !req
977. - Yeah, lots to think about there guys.
- Next flat-meeting, yeah.Copy !req
978. Yeah, good thinking,
that's the thing, just...Copy !req
979. - ... have a bit of dialogue about it.
- Okay.Copy !req
980. - They've got a really good point.
- Wait!Copy !req
981. Let's kill them.Copy !req
982. - No...
- Well, let's just see what other safety...Copy !req
983. points they have and then maybe we can.Copy !req
984. I call into session,Copy !req
985. this trial of Nick,Copy !req
986. of Wellington.Copy !req
987. Read the charges.Copy !req
988. Problems we have with Nick.Copy !req
989. Number 1:Copy !req
990. You brought a human into our house.Copy !req
991. Which is a big no-no
in the vampire world.Copy !req
992. Stu is, Stu is okay though?Copy !req
993. Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just...Copy !req
994. cross that one out.Copy !req
995. Uh...Copy !req
996. - Thank you Stu.
- Thank you Stu.Copy !req
997. So...Copy !req
998. The new number 1:Copy !req
999. Nick's been telling people he's a vampire.Copy !req
1000. That in turn resulted in...Copy !req
1001. an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter.Copy !req
1002. Crime number 2:Copy !req
1003. This is quite a biggie, Nick.Copy !req
1004. The vampire hunter who killed Petyr.Copy !req
1005. That's... that actually should've...
that should have been crime number oneCopy !req
1006. but we wanted to build up to that.Copy !req
1007. Number 3:Copy !req
1008. Deacon doesn't like that you
wear the same jackets as him.Copy !req
1009. And he would like you to find
your own original style.Copy !req
1010. For these crimes of whichCopy !req
1011. we the vampire council find you guilty...Copy !req
1012. you should be banished from our flat...Copy !req
1013. indefinitely.Copy !req
1014. - Indefinitely.
- Indefinitely.Copy !req
1015. So I can come back?Copy !req
1016. One day?Copy !req
1017. No, no,
indefinitely means, there is no end.Copy !req
1018. I thought there was like...Copy !req
1019. No, indefinite means
that it's not a definite thing.Copy !req
1020. - It can be changed
- Yeah, but it's long.Copy !req
1021. Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months.Copy !req
1022. - No! No, it is not tomorrow!
- It cannot be tomorrow!Copy !req
1023. - Forget about it, at least 6 moths.
- Banished!Copy !req
1024. You are banished.Copy !req
1025. But Stu, you can visit if you like.Copy !req
1026. Thank you.Copy !req
1027. For your crimes...Copy !req
1028. you will be made to suffer...Copy !req
1029. the procession...Copy !req
1030. of shame.Copy !req
1031. I asked them Nick,
I asked them not to pass that sentence.Copy !req
1032. We should do this immediately.Copy !req
1033. - In my opinion.
- You didn't ask.Copy !req
1034. You didn't ask. You were saying yes.Copy !req
1035. - I did...
- Well, this is what's going to happen.Copy !req
1036. I still think it's quite extreme.Copy !req
1037. Let us do the procession of shame.Copy !req
1038. Now.Copy !req
1039. - Shame.
- Shame!Copy !req
1040. Shame. Shame. Shame!Copy !req
1041. Shame!Copy !req
1042. - Shame.
- Bad vampire!Copy !req
1043. Shame.Copy !req
1044. Should we go Stu?Copy !req
1045. Bye Stu.Copy !req
1046. That was a shame.Copy !req
1047. So today we have, an invitation.Copy !req
1048. To the big event of the year.Copy !req
1049. Breaking it open.Copy !req
1050. They have burnt the edges...Copy !req
1051. - ... like a treasure map or something.
- It looks very authentic, doesn't it?Copy !req
1052. 'Dearly departed...'Copy !req
1053. That's us.Copy !req
1054. 'The Wellington Vampire Association
in conjunction with theCopy !req
1055. Lower Hut Vampire Witch ClubCopy !req
1056. and the Kuori Zombie Society...Copy !req
1057. invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade
on the night of the 6th of June...Copy !req
1058. starting at 6 PM.'Copy !req
1059. - 666...
- Oh, yeah...Copy !req
1060. The Unholy Masquerade
of course is great timeCopy !req
1061. for the undead community
of Wellington.Copy !req
1062. There's zombies there. Vampires,
banshees, all having a dance together.Copy !req
1063. It's always a big deal for me.Copy !req
1064. Love it.Copy !req
1065. One year I went to
The Unholy Masquerade dressed asCopy !req
1066. Whoopi Goldberg from uh, Sister Act...Copy !req
1067. 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit.Copy !req
1068. Didn't go down so well because
she was a nun.Copy !req
1069. Vampires don't like nuns.Copy !req
1070. Of course the big deal of
The Unholy MasqueradeCopy !req
1071. is that every year they
announce the guest of honor.Copy !req
1072. And... um...Copy !req
1073. I don't know if I
should be saying this but...Copy !req
1074. I heard a little rumorCopy !req
1075. that the guest of honor this year...Copy !req
1076. might be me.Copy !req
1077. The location...Copy !req
1078. - Oh, yeah, where is it?
- Where's the location?Copy !req
1079. Cathedral of Despair.Copy !req
1080. And the guest of honor will be...Copy !req
1081. Who is it? Show me.Copy !req
1082. Hmm.Copy !req
1083. Okay.Copy !req
1084. Okay.Copy !req
1085. - Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine.
- Okay?Copy !req
1086. Vladislav...Copy !req
1087. has...Copy !req
1088. just had a reaction to the information
that the guest of honor will be...Copy !req
1089. um... The Beast.Copy !req
1090. The darkest part of my mindCopy !req
1091. is reserved to The Beast.Copy !req
1092. We could tell you a thing
or two about The Beast.Copy !req
1093. You should pray that you
never have to see The Beast.Copy !req
1094. This one is called The Beast.Copy !req
1095. And I said,
'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!'Copy !req
1096. He may have told you
some stories about hisCopy !req
1097. great battle with The Beast.Copy !req
1098. Yeah, oh,
'I fought The Beast on a cliff.'Copy !req
1099. Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.'Copy !req
1100. 'One time I fought The Beast
in the toilets of a night club.'Copy !req
1101. Difficult battle.Copy !req
1102. I hope you never see The Beast.Copy !req
1103. The Beast.Copy !req
1104. You can't go to the the ball as Blade.Copy !req
1105. He's a vampire hunter.Copy !req
1106. Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes.Copy !req
1107. No, it's inappropriate.Copy !req
1108. Okay, Vlad? The Green Jaunters,Copy !req
1109. or the black leather with the dragon belt?Copy !req
1110. Just wear the pants you want to wear...Copy !req
1111. - We're having a mild crisis here.
- which pants do you want to wear?Copy !req
1112. Just look at the pants Vlad!
Turn around & look at the pants!Copy !req
1113. They're just pants!Copy !req
1114. - Shit, man!
- Holy shit!Copy !req
1115. Oh, you look terrible.Copy !req
1116. The black pants.Copy !req
1117. Thank you. Get dressed!Copy !req
1118. I don't know if I feel up to it, really.Copy !req
1119. You don't look that great but
if you eat someone on the way...Copy !req
1120. and rejuvenate a little bit?Copy !req
1121. You could probably
wear a mask or something.Copy !req
1122. Just leave me
to do my dark bidding on the Internet!Copy !req
1123. What are you biding on?Copy !req
1124. I'm bidding on a table.Copy !req
1125. - Are you coming or not?
- Not.Copy !req
1126. I'm gonna go change.
We're leaving in 10 minutes.Copy !req
1127. Have a good time!Copy !req
1128. We, we tend often, you know...
without giving into that kind of...Copy !req
1129. stuff which I'm really sick
of that but you know...Copy !req
1130. It just that,
it's harder for us to chase...Copy !req
1131. chase people down.Copy !req
1132. Can I, Can I introduce um...Copy !req
1133. - Gary... Gary and Alisha.
- Hi, how are you?Copy !req
1134. Hi.Copy !req
1135. - Hi.
- Less groaning, less groaning guys.Copy !req
1136. So we are at The Unholy Masquerade.Copy !req
1137. It's great.Copy !req
1138. This is my mask.Copy !req
1139. Which I made for the occasion.Copy !req
1140. Hey!Copy !req
1141. - Jackie.
- Yeah!Copy !req
1142. - This is undead party.
- Yeah, I'm a vampire.Copy !req
1143. You have your?Copy !req
1144. I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire!Copy !req
1145. - Great.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1146. - So, um, who bit you?
- Oh, Nick.Copy !req
1147. - Oh great.
- Yeah. - RightCopy !req
1148. Okay.Copy !req
1149. Deacon!Copy !req
1150. Pretty rude, because she was my...Copy !req
1151. servant.Copy !req
1152. She was a pretty useless servant.Copy !req
1153. - I wouldn't— worry about that.
- Yeah, yeah, but still, I would've been...Copy !req
1154. appreciated if you'd asked...Copy !req
1155. How's Stu?Copy !req
1156. - He's good, he's there.Copy !req
1157. - Oh, he's here?
- Stu! STU!Copy !req
1158. Hey, hey! how are you?Copy !req
1159. Hey!Copy !req
1160. Has anyone looked at you
like they want to eat you, at all?Copy !req
1161. Ah, no...Copy !req
1162. Can you hear me at the back?Copy !req
1163. On behalf of the
Wellington Vampire Society...Copy !req
1164. uh,
the Lower Hut Vampire and Witch Club.Copy !req
1165. And the Kurory Zombie society,
we welcome you here tonight.Copy !req
1166. And we're raffling a
live meat pack this year, and, um,Copy !req
1167. you can inspect the prize
over here to my left.Copy !req
1168. It's a wonderful prize.Copy !req
1169. Tickets are only 10 dollars each or
45 dollars for a book of five.Copy !req
1170. Now without further adieu,
it's my very great pleasureCopy !req
1171. to introduce to you
this years guest of honor.Copy !req
1172. Pauline Ivanovich!Copy !req
1173. Thank you.Copy !req
1174. That's The Beast.Copy !req
1175. Thank you.Copy !req
1176. The Beast is, uh, the name
I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline.Copy !req
1177. She prefers Pauline.Copy !req
1178. We had a very intense relationship.Copy !req
1179. We were very...Copy !req
1180. sexually explosive.Copy !req
1181. Last time I saw her, she impaled me and
called me an asshole.Copy !req
1182. She said...Copy !req
1183. all kinds of things that really hurt me.Copy !req
1184. And all this
while I was impaled on a lamp post.Copy !req
1185. Well, everyone,
I will be mingling aroundCopy !req
1186. and I really hope that...Copy !req
1187. I will meet...Copy !req
1188. all of you.Copy !req
1189. Hello.Copy !req
1190. That's the new guy.Copy !req
1191. I don't know what, what kind
of vampire he is... if he is a vampire.Copy !req
1192. Did you see his face?Copy !req
1193. Oh... oh.Copy !req
1194. - Hello!
- Hi, how are you?Copy !req
1195. - This is Deacon.
- Hello Deacon.Copy !req
1196. - This is Stu.
- Good day Stu.Copy !req
1197. - How are you my friend?
- Good.Copy !req
1198. Hi. Stu.Copy !req
1199. You got really warm hands Stu.Copy !req
1200. You a demon?Copy !req
1201. - No, he's not a demon!
- I'm a software analyst, I work...Copy !req
1202. - Stu, Stu, Stu...
- A male witch, you're a male witch?Copy !req
1203. Stu, you should go dance, uh, with anyone.Copy !req
1204. - Sure.
- Okay, take your time.Copy !req
1205. I like Stu. He's not vampire,
so he's what, zombie or...?Copy !req
1206. - A male witch?
- He's not...Copy !req
1207. He not uh... he's neither,
he's uh... more of a human.Copy !req
1208. Excuse me, excuse me.
Hi, Nick, hey.Copy !req
1209. Um, Nick...Copy !req
1210. Do you mind if Stu is killed?Copy !req
1211. Uh, I don't feel that good about it.Copy !req
1212. Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a...Copy !req
1213. - ... a personal question?
- Sure.Copy !req
1214. Are you, um...Copy !req
1215. are you, are you,
are you pre-deceased?Copy !req
1216. Uh...Copy !req
1217. If anyone's gonna eat him
it's gonna be usCopy !req
1218. but we're not, we're past that.Copy !req
1219. They can just go fuck themselves.Copy !req
1220. Nick! It is your fault.Copy !req
1221. Okay? You brought a human
into this den of vampress nest.Copy !req
1222. - You're not helping.
- Yes, you did.Copy !req
1223. Plus one.Copy !req
1224. Lovely talking to you,
I've got to shoot off now.Copy !req
1225. See you later on.Copy !req
1226. As soon as one vampire takes a bite,
it's a frenzy!Copy !req
1227. - A frenzy!
- Okay, we've got to get him out.Copy !req
1228. Okay, follow me, follow me.Copy !req
1229. Excuse me, sorry guys.Copy !req
1230. Okay, Stu.Copy !req
1231. Put that over your red face.Copy !req
1232. - Just going out for a cigarette.
- Oh, hey!Copy !req
1233. - Okay, not that way.
- This way.Copy !req
1234. - This way.
- Is there another way?Copy !req
1235. - Back away from the vampires.
- Guys...Copy !req
1236. Excuse me everyone!Copy !req
1237. Can I have your attention please.Copy !req
1238. Some of the vampires forget
Unholy Masquerade rules.Copy !req
1239. They brought a human.Copy !req
1240. And they don't let us to feast on him.Copy !req
1241. This was a total misunderstanding.Copy !req
1242. There was on the invitation,
and this actually pertains to you...Copy !req
1243. the invitation, it said,Copy !req
1244. - plus one, but it did not specify...
- Okay.Copy !req
1245. - Hey mate, look...
- If it could be a human orCopy !req
1246. if it could be werewolf or...Copy !req
1247. Yeah, but he could be
a vampire hunter for all we know.Copy !req
1248. He could texting his mates, saying,
'I've got them all in the one place,Copy !req
1249. come on over,
we'll have a vampire barbecue!'Copy !req
1250. Well, he's not, he's not doing that.Copy !req
1251. How do we know that?Copy !req
1252. He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him!Copy !req
1253. Stu, tell them what you do.Copy !req
1254. Come on Stu!
Tell us what you do. Come on.Copy !req
1255. Tell them what you do, Stu.Copy !req
1256. - Hi, my name is Stu uh...
- Don't fuck it up, man.Copy !req
1257. - I can't hear Stu.
- Louder, louder!Copy !req
1258. Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in...Copy !req
1259. - I can't hear...
- Louder.Copy !req
1260. Stu they can't hear, they cannot hear you.Copy !req
1261. Hi, my name is Stu.
I'm a software analyst.Copy !req
1262. I work for a
geographic information systems company.Copy !req
1263. - Uh...
- Sorry, what is it?Copy !req
1264. I work for a company that does um...Copy !req
1265. basically we take like business
requirements from organizations...Copy !req
1266. and we analyze those requirements and
then we build software...Copy !req
1267. to fit those requirements.Copy !req
1268. He is a virgin. He is a virgin!Copy !req
1269. - I can smell a virgin at a thousand paces.
- Go on then.Copy !req
1270. Go a thousand paces away
and smell yourselves!Copy !req
1271. I can't wait anymore.Copy !req
1272. There shall be no eating of the human.Copy !req
1273. Who are you all of a sudden?Copy !req
1274. You have forgotten your former lover.Copy !req
1275. So quickly.Copy !req
1276. Georgie?Copy !req
1277. No, not...Copy !req
1278. Georgie, like, 5-years after him.Copy !req
1279. No.Copy !req
1280. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1281. Just one moment.Copy !req
1282. No...Copy !req
1283. No, I've got it,
that's got it, take it away...Copy !req
1284. Hello Beast.Copy !req
1285. Hello asshole.Copy !req
1286. - Hey, don't call me asshole!
- Don't call me...Copy !req
1287. - ... Beast. This is Vladislav.
- This is absolutely the same.Copy !req
1288. This is my ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
1289. - You know, the one who fucked the police—
- Alright, that's old business, that's...Copy !req
1290. - old business, that's personal business.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1291. - Nice to meet you asshole.
- This is my lover.Copy !req
1292. You will not feast on the blood
of the human known as Stu.Copy !req
1293. Listen asshole, this is a human andCopy !req
1294. this is the rules and
what is cameras doing here?Copy !req
1295. One, and then another one,
what is this?Copy !req
1296. They're making a documentary on...Copy !req
1297. This is a private secret society mate,Copy !req
1298. you don't go bringing your
bloody cameras into everything.Copy !req
1299. You will not eat Stu and
you will not eat the camera guy.Copy !req
1300. Maybe one camera guy...Copy !req
1301. I'm up to bloody here,
with you at the moment.Copy !req
1302. And all your mates behind there,
whoever the hell they are.Copy !req
1303. We're gonna eat the human being.Copy !req
1304. And there's nothing
you can do about it, alright?Copy !req
1305. Now back off!Copy !req
1306. And let my missus get her way.Copy !req
1307. Oh, there's nothing I can do about it?Copy !req
1308. - That's right.
- Well, what about this?Copy !req
1309. Diego, rip his head off.Copy !req
1310. What do you want?Copy !req
1311. Vampire fight!Copy !req
1312. Get him Vladislav!Copy !req
1313. Rip his head off!Copy !req
1314. He's killing him!Copy !req
1315. It is forbidden for vampires...Copy !req
1316. to kill a vampire.Copy !req
1317. - What the f...
- Bloody Hell!Copy !req
1318. What?Copy !req
1319. Are you okay, love?
Get out!Copy !req
1320. We should probably go Stu.Copy !req
1321. It was great to see you,Copy !req
1322. - Pauline.
- Asshole!Copy !req
1323. Bastard!Copy !req
1324. - That was very... how we both...
- He's a murderer!Copy !req
1325. We both, together,
equally destroyed that guy!Copy !req
1326. Yeah, but it was more Stu
with the giant stick!Copy !req
1327. I hope this doesn't make this awkward
for you and The Beast.Copy !req
1328. No,
I think it's opened up new possibilities.Copy !req
1329. Oh, no.Copy !req
1330. - Here we go again.
- Here we go againCopy !req
1331. Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu!Copy !req
1332. Stu, Stu, Stu!Copy !req
1333. Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu...Copy !req
1334. - Stu! Stu!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop!Copy !req
1335. Listen, listen!Copy !req
1336. You smell that?Copy !req
1337. This way.Copy !req
1338. Werewolves.Copy !req
1339. - Oh, no.
- Look what the cat dragged in, huh?Copy !req
1340. - Piss off!
- Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight.Copy !req
1341. There has been no hassle here.Copy !req
1342. Well, let it stay that way.Copy !req
1343. Keep chaining yourselves up!Copy !req
1344. Guys, where's your tracksuit pants?Copy !req
1345. It was washing night.Copy !req
1346. My missus couldn't wash them cause
there was too much blood on them, so...Copy !req
1347. When your legs expand
they grow into the track suit.Copy !req
1348. - Oh!
- Those jeans are gonna rip completely!Copy !req
1349. You've lost all those trousers, guys?Copy !req
1350. Declan, that tree's far too thin!Copy !req
1351. Look at it! It's like a branch!Copy !req
1352. You know how big you get
when you transform!Copy !req
1353. That's the wrong tree for you.Copy !req
1354. Anton, I've...Copy !req
1355. Oh, no, you've forgotten the combination.Copy !req
1356. Why did you get a combination lock?Copy !req
1357. I lost my key last time.Copy !req
1358. Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros,
that's the factory setting, is it?Copy !req
1359. - Fuck off to a tree.
- Hey!Copy !req
1360. Hey! werewolves, not swearwolves.Copy !req
1361. Yeah, I know,
well on transformation nights,Copy !req
1362. it's alright, alright?
I'm getting stressed out.Copy !req
1363. I was just reminding you.Copy !req
1364. Stop talking
and chain yourself up you dickhead!Copy !req
1365. Honestly, we're transforming.Copy !req
1366. Alright, we'll keep walking.Copy !req
1367. Yeah, keep walking.
By the way I find that offensive!Copy !req
1368. We'll keep walking.Copy !req
1369. Is that fur?Copy !req
1370. Oh, for crying out loud.Copy !req
1371. Don't look at the fur everyone.
Get back to your trees, okay?Copy !req
1372. - That's disgusting, man...
- You're wearing fur.Copy !req
1373. Declan!Copy !req
1374. - That's not real fur.
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
1375. Honestly, get out of here.
Take your humans!Copy !req
1376. That guy in the bow-tie,
he's gonna go first!Copy !req
1377. - C'mon, we've gotta take Stu home.
- Get out of here, quick!Copy !req
1378. Take all your clothes off that
you want to keep everyone!Copy !req
1379. Get that army service jacket off,
you've only just bought that Nathan,Copy !req
1380. Get that camera out of my face!Copy !req
1381. Go, go, go!
Let's go, let's go. Come on!Copy !req
1382. Run Stu, run!Copy !req
1383. Let's go, let's go!Copy !req
1384. - Run Stu, they're coming!
- Shit!Copy !req
1385. I got one!Copy !req
1386. My leg! My leg!Copy !req
1387. Oh God!Copy !req
1388. Stu! Stu!Copy !req
1389. Stu!Copy !req
1390. Stu!Copy !req
1391. Get off me!Copy !req
1392. Stu, are you alright?Copy !req
1393. Stu?Copy !req
1394. Stu?Copy !req
1395. Fuck off asshole!Copy !req
1396. Fuck off!Copy !req
1397. Get off me!Copy !req
1398. Stinking group of assholes!Copy !req
1399. Stupid werewolves!Copy !req
1400. Look away Nick!Copy !req
1401. - Don't look at their blood!
- Stu!Copy !req
1402. Stu!Copy !req
1403. Leave him alone, he's a really good dude!
Leave him alone!Copy !req
1404. It's too late for him!Copy !req
1405. - Don't look at the blood Nick!
- Stu!Copy !req
1406. There he is.Copy !req
1407. He's probably still a little upset
having seen hisCopy !req
1408. best friend disemboweled by werewolves.Copy !req
1409. Nick!Copy !req
1410. I found you.Copy !req
1411. Whoa!Copy !req
1412. That was pretty full on, hey?Copy !req
1413. But this is what happens
when you are a vampire.Copy !req
1414. You have to watch everyone die.Copy !req
1415. Your mother and father.Copy !req
1416. All your friends.Copy !req
1417. Sometimes brutal.Copy !req
1418. Like slipping and falling
onto a giant spike.Copy !req
1419. Or falling asleep...Copy !req
1420. in an autumn pile of leaves...Copy !req
1421. and having some of them,
block your wind pipe.Copy !req
1422. Or making the simple mistake,Copy !req
1423. of fashioning a mask out of crackers,Copy !req
1424. and being attacked by ducks.Copy !req
1425. Geese.Copy !req
1426. Swans.Copy !req
1427. Or simply dying of old age.Copy !req
1428. But even old age is brutal.Copy !req
1429. Watching your friends...Copy !req
1430. grow old.Copy !req
1431. They can't piss.Copy !req
1432. And they say stupid things and
their brains go and theyCopy !req
1433. can't remember anything.Copy !req
1434. And then, one day, they can't even
remember who you are.Copy !req
1435. And you wish they were dead.Copy !req
1436. And then they do die.Copy !req
1437. No.Copy !req
1438. If I know Stu...Copy !req
1439. this was probably the way he wanted to go.Copy !req
1440. Disemboweled by werewolves.Copy !req
1441. Blood and guts,Copy !req
1442. sprayed on to the trees.Copy !req
1443. His face torn to shreds.Copy !req
1444. I hope I made you feel better.Copy !req
1445. Ah, well, from what we
could see in the beginning,Copy !req
1446. it looks like there's been
a bit of a dog attack.Copy !req
1447. That's really what happens,
when you get, you know...Copy !req
1448. dangerous dogs...Copy !req
1449. out on the streets, not being looked after.Copy !req
1450. This is not good.Copy !req
1451. No, not good at all.Copy !req
1452. - No, definitely not.
- There's nicer ways to go, than being...Copy !req
1453. torn apart,
by what looks like a pack of dogs,Copy !req
1454. more than, more than just one.Copy !req
1455. Yeah I'd say so.Copy !req
1456. These attacks have been happening
more and more frequent.Copy !req
1457. They're happening on a monthly basis
and and it's just...Copy !req
1458. no good for anybody, okay?Copy !req
1459. Especially not the dogs.
Certainly not the community.Copy !req
1460. I've got the bastard.Copy !req
1461. - One of them here hey!
- Geez.Copy !req
1462. And that's what I'm talking about.
Look at it.Copy !req
1463. End of the day,
this dog is gonna have to be put down.Copy !req
1464. What a shame.Copy !req
1465. Look what you did.Copy !req
1466. Hey?Copy !req
1467. Yeah he's got the scent again, hasn't he?
He wants to go again. He's not finished.Copy !req
1468. Yeah.Copy !req
1469. They say that vampires hearts
are cold and dead.Copy !req
1470. Definitely dead.Copy !req
1471. - Bye Stu.
- He would have loved his scarf.Copy !req
1472. It was a lovely, loose, knit.Copy !req
1473. But I don't know.
I think I still feel things inside it.Copy !req
1474. Deacon!Copy !req
1475. Deacon!Copy !req
1476. - Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey!
- Viago.Copy !req
1477. Don't sleep in here.
The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning.Copy !req
1478. - Oh!
- You want to get sizzled to a crisp?Copy !req
1479. What?Copy !req
1480. No, you gotta think
a little bit about these things.Copy !req
1481. Ok.Copy !req
1482. - Sorry Viago.
- It's okay.Copy !req
1483. - Night.
- Nigh.. night! Okay.Copy !req
1484. Received at 4:20 AM:Copy !req
1485. - Stu?
- Hey Deacon.Copy !req
1486. - Stu!
- How is it?Copy !req
1487. Good to see you.Copy !req
1488. Look at his face!Copy !req
1489. I saw them tear you to shreds!Copy !req
1490. Look! He looks like Seal!Copy !req
1491. They didn't kill me.Copy !req
1492. - It looks cool.
- Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
1493. Meet some of our friends.Copy !req
1494. Anton, Deacon.Copy !req
1495. - Hi, Anton.
- Anton.Copy !req
1496. I must have blacked out, um...Copy !req
1497. and then, I remember...Copy !req
1498. - an ambulance.
- He's going into shock.Copy !req
1499. O'Leary. O'Leary!Copy !req
1500. Yeah, coming!Copy !req
1501. - Okay, calm down, mate.
- Calm down.Copy !req
1502. Looks like rabies, doesn't it?Copy !req
1503. And I don't know how long after that was,
but I like, woke up.Copy !req
1504. And it was daytime.Copy !req
1505. And I couldn't find my clothes.Copy !req
1506. Those werewolf guys, um...Copy !req
1507. eventually found me.Copy !req
1508. And they had some,Copy !req
1509. they like, lent me some pants.Copy !req
1510. So, yeah,
those guys have been supporting me.Copy !req
1511. Cause I was quite confused.Copy !req
1512. Yeah, these are the guys who, um,Copy !req
1513. turned me into a werewolf.Copy !req
1514. Did you knit your own jersey?Copy !req
1515. - Yes.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1516. - I knit.
- Is that the moon, or?Copy !req
1517. - Yes.
- Hopefully, we won't, you know...Copy !req
1518. Ah, this is a nice place.Copy !req
1519. Please, don't, ah,
don't lick anything or...Copy !req
1520. pee on anything.Copy !req
1521. We were worried at first,
you know, we thoughtCopy !req
1522. 'Ooh, they are just going to
urinate on everything.'Copy !req
1523. But they actually are
really polite and pretty clean.Copy !req
1524. There was obviously that werewolf smell,Copy !req
1525. which permeated the entire house
for the first half an hour.Copy !req
1526. But we opened some windows and
got rid of that.Copy !req
1527. 'What a stupid suggestion, their idea, '
I thought.Copy !req
1528. No way.Copy !req
1529. You know, walking into the vampire's den.
That's ludicrous.Copy !req
1530. That's my hand.Copy !req
1531. But I thought, well...
we'll give it a shot.Copy !req
1532. You know, I'm the alpha male,
so I made the call.Copy !req
1533. I'm the alpha male.Copy !req
1534. - Yes.
- So, generally...Copy !req
1535. all of the other guys follow me.Copy !req
1536. - For Stu!
- For Stu!Copy !req
1537. Thanks guys.Copy !req
1538. What have you done to your face?Copy !req
1539. I got attacked by some werewolves.Copy !req
1540. Ooh! I met a werewolf.
Seemed a very nice person.Copy !req
1541. So, Katherine is a vampire now.Copy !req
1542. - Yes.
- We decide to get together.Copy !req
1543. We just thought,
the hell with it, you know.Copy !req
1544. What have we got to lose?Copy !req
1545. I was just sitting, doing nothing,Copy !req
1546. and he came floating in and over to me,Copy !req
1547. and I recognized him.
It was wonderful.Copy !req
1548. And then I bit you on the neck.Copy !req
1549. That's right.Copy !req
1550. And I don't mind being a vampire.Copy !req
1551. I'm enjoying it.Copy !req
1552. Some people freak out a bit
about the age difference.Copy !req
1553. Uh, they think,
'what's this 96-year old ladyCopy !req
1554. doing with a guy,
for times her age!'Copy !req
1555. - And, you know, I don't care...
- It doesn't make any difference.Copy !req
1556. No, they can call me cradle-snatcher,
who cares.Copy !req
1557. I decided to bite her and
we're gonna be together forever.Copy !req
1558. - Wonderful.
- Yah.Copy !req
1559. Pauline and I are
tentatively back together.Copy !req
1560. But it's not long before
you remember why it was weCopy !req
1561. broke up in the first place.Copy !req
1562. We'll start in our bedroom,Copy !req
1563. I need that totally boarded up or
blacked out somehow.Copy !req
1564. My husband is my familiar.Copy !req
1565. So there's been a dynamic shift there.Copy !req
1566. You could buy a Bedazzler.Copy !req
1567. So write that down.
Bedazzler, that's B-E-D...Copy !req
1568. I feel like I'm
who I'm really meant to be now.Copy !req
1569. - I love you.
- I love you too.Copy !req
1570. Great.Copy !req
1571. But I am your Master.Copy !req
1572. - Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1573. Yeah, these guys have to laugh
at my jokes, right guys?Copy !req
1574. Yeah!Copy !req
1575. That is a good one.Copy !req
1576. I always look round to
make sure they're all laughing.Copy !req
1577. Like, if I see one of them is not
quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!'Copy !req
1578. 'You laughing?',
and often I'll test you.Copy !req
1579. - What are you laughing at, Justin?Copy !req
1580. - Hey?
- What are you laughing at now?Copy !req
1581. - Just then?
- Yeah, yeah, but what?Copy !req
1582. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
1583. Ah, test failed! Test failed!Copy !req
1584. You're laughing now.
What are you laughing at now though?Copy !req
1585. I don't know cause...Copy !req
1586. Ah, another failure!Copy !req
1587. Well, what are you laughing at Stu?Copy !req
1588. I was laughing with the group.Copy !req
1589. - Yep, that's good. - Good answer!
- That's good, yeah.Copy !req
1590. Just pay attention. Pay attention.Copy !req
1591. Laugh with the group.Copy !req
1592. You will not remember
the last hour and a half,Copy !req
1593. of what you have just seen.Copy !req
1594. You will forget...Copy !req
1595. the contents of this movie.Copy !req