1. So it's 6 PM in the night time...Copy !req
2. which is when I wake up.Copy !req
3. This is always really scary part for me.Copy !req
4. Yes! Night time.Copy !req
5. So, now I'm going to wake up
my flat mates.Copy !req
6. I really love living in a flatting situation.Copy !req
7. Wake up!Copy !req
8. Wake up everyone!Copy !req
9. I like to hang out with other vampires.Copy !req
10. I like the company.Copy !req
11. Awaken!Copy !req
12. A wakey, wakey!Copy !req
13. I just really like having a good time
with my friends.Copy !req
14. Deacon...Copy !req
15. Hi!Copy !req
16. Hey!Copy !req
17. Deacon...Copy !req
18. How was your night, last night?Copy !req
19. I transformed into a dog and had sex.Copy !req
20. Cool!Copy !req
21. We're gonna have a little flat-meeting
in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay?Copy !req
22. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
23. - Should I close this?
- Yes.Copy !req
24. Vladislav?Copy !req
25. Sorry! Sorry!Copy !req
26. What?Copy !req
27. - Hey!
- What time is it?Copy !req
28. Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting
in about 10 minutes.Copy !req
29. 20.Copy !req
30. Okay... is it...Copy !req
31. So we're...Copy !req
32. in Petyr's room.Copy !req
33. I'm just going to wake him up.Copy !req
34. Petyr?Copy !req
35. Petyr?Copy !req
36. Petyr, wake up.Copy !req
37. Hey, listen. We're just having a flat-meeting
upstairs in about 10 minutes.Copy !req
38. You don't have to come but I thought I'dCopy !req
39. extend an invitation to you just in case.Copy !req
40. Umm...Copy !req
41. There's a lot of stuff on
the floor down here, Petyr, and...Copy !req
42. like this seems, I don't... AH!Copy !req
43. It's a spinal column, yuck!Copy !req
44. And I was thinking, maybe...Copy !req
45. I just should bring a broom
down here for youCopy !req
46. if you wanted to sweep up
some of the skeletons.Copy !req
47. I don't know.Copy !req
48. You know...Copy !req
49. Okay.Copy !req
50. I got you this chicken.Copy !req
51. Is Petyr coming?Copy !req
52. - Should we be worried?
- Petyr's...Copy !req
53. 8000 years old.Copy !req
54. We're not going to have Petyr at the meeting.Copy !req
55. Okay, so...Copy !req
56. Wanted to have a quick chat
about flat responsibilities becauseCopy !req
57. uh... guys I think that we're
not all pulling our weight here.Copy !req
58. We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon.Copy !req
59. You're a cool guy but you're
not pulling your weight in the flat.Copy !req
60. Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool.Copy !req
61. - No, that's not the point though...
- Yeah, no, I know...Copy !req
62. It's not a flat meeting about how cool you are.Copy !req
63. - I do my flat chores.
- No, you don't!Copy !req
64. - Yes, I do
- No, that's why we're having the flat-meeting.Copy !req
65. The point is Deacon that you
have not done the dishes for 5 years.Copy !req
66. Vladislav is right.Copy !req
67. It's unacceptable to have so many
bloody dishes all over the bench like that...Copy !req
68. I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.Copy !req
69. Why does it matter?Copy !req
70. You bring them over to kill them!Copy !req
71. Vampires don't do dishes.Copy !req
72. Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire.Copy !req
73. He's always doing crazy things.
Saying crazy things.Copy !req
74. He's just like the young, bad boy of the group.Copy !req
75. Okay, so...Copy !req
76. One day I was...Copy !req
77. selling my wears...Copy !req
78. And I walked passed this old creepy castle.Copy !req
79. and I look at it and think...Copy !req
80. 'very old and creepy.'Copy !req
81. And then this creature...Copy !req
82. flies at me!Copy !req
83. It dragged me back to this dark dungeon.Copy !req
84. And bit into my neck.Copy !req
85. And just at the point of death...Copy !req
86. this creature...Copy !req
87. forced me to suck its foul blood.Copy !req
88. And then...Copy !req
89. it opened it's wings, like this.Copy !req
90. And hovered above me.Copy !req
91. Screeching.Copy !req
92. 'Now you are vampire.'Copy !req
93. And it was Petyr.Copy !req
94. And we're still friends today.Copy !req
95. Vlad, you are great.
You put out the recycling.Copy !req
96. Which was really cool.Copy !req
97. And!Copy !req
98. The other day, I dragged mans body down the hallway,Copy !req
99. and noticed that there was no dust.Copy !req
100. Like, I kind of... I kind of swept the hallway.Copy !req
101. Vladislav, is just like...Copy !req
102. this older vampire whoCopy !req
103. grew up in the medieval times.Copy !req
104. And you know, to be living this longCopy !req
105. and to have seen the things that he's seenCopy !req
106. and still like, kind of have it together,Copy !req
107. I mean, hat's off to him.Copy !req
108. Bloody hell!Copy !req
109. Sorry!Copy !req
110. He's a really great guy.Copy !req
111. A bit a of a pervert.Copy !req
112. He has some pretty old ideas about things.Copy !req
113. We should get some slaves!Copy !req
114. When I first became a vampire...Copy !req
115. I was quite tyrannical.Copy !req
116. I was known for torturing a lot of people.Copy !req
117. This is my torture chamber.Copy !req
118. I don't come in here, often anymore.Copy !req
119. I tempted to torture when
I was in a bad place.Copy !req
120. My thing was, I would poke someoneCopy !req
121. with implements.Copy !req
122. I was known as 'Vladislav the poker'.Copy !req
123. It's been like this the whole time...Copy !req
124. - Okay, so...
- Viago is a little...Copy !req
125. pedantic.Copy !req
126. The washing and the rubbish, I did that.Copy !req
127. Deacon, on dishes and
it's still hasn't moved in 5 years.Copy !req
128. He was an 18th century dandy.Copy !req
129. So, he can be very fussy.Copy !req
130. He nags and nags...Copy !req
131. The lunch the other day and
it was blood all over my nice antique couch.Copy !req
132. Which one, the red one?Copy !req
133. Well, it's red now, yah.Copy !req
134. If you're going to eat a victim
on my nice clean couchCopy !req
135. put down some newspaper on the floorCopy !req
136. and some towels.
It's not hard to do.Copy !req
137. We're vampires!
We don't put down towels.Copy !req
138. Some vampires do.Copy !req
139. Well, not serious ones!Copy !req
140. When you get 4 vampires in a flatCopy !req
141. obviously there's going to be a lot of tension.Copy !req
142. There's tension in any, any flatting situation.Copy !req
143. It's settled then. We all do our jobs,
starting with a certain Deacon...Copy !req
144. I will do my dishes!Copy !req
145. This is bullshit.Copy !req
146. Well, I became a vampire when I was 16.Copy !req
147. That is why I always look 16.Copy !req
148. In those days, of course,
life was tough for a 16 year old.Copy !req
149. Vampires have had a pretty bad rec.Copy !req
150. We're not these mopey
old creatures who live in castles.Copy !req
151. And while some, most of us are, a lot are... bats.Copy !req
152. There are also, those of us,
who like to flat together inCopy !req
153. really small countries like New Zealand.Copy !req
154. I was a Nazi vampire.Copy !req
155. After the war, which the Nazi's lost...Copy !req
156. I don't know,
if you know that the Nazi's lost...Copy !req
157. that war.Copy !req
158. If you were a Nazi, after the war...Copy !req
159. and if you were a vampire...Copy !req
160. and if you were a Nazi vampire...Copy !req
161. No way.Copy !req
162. I was out of there.Copy !req
163. Yah, I came to this country for love.Copy !req
164. Uh, there was a girl. Human girl.Copy !req
165. And...Copy !req
166. I...Copy !req
167. thought she was fantastic.
She was...Copy !req
168. absolutely amazing.Copy !req
169. I was smitten.Copy !req
170. Her family emigrated to New Zealand.Copy !req
171. And, I thought,Copy !req
172. 'you know what, to hell with it.Copy !req
173. I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her
and tell her how I feel.'Copy !req
174. I told my servant Phillip,Copy !req
175. 'Send me to New Zealand.'Copy !req
176. He...Copy !req
177. put the wrong postage on my coffin.Copy !req
178. So the whole journey took about 18 months.Copy !req
179. And when I got here, she had...Copy !req
180. found someone else.Copy !req
181. She had fallen in love.Copy !req
182. And...Copy !req
183. She was married.Copy !req
184. She gave me this before she left.Copy !req
185. There she is.Copy !req
186. That's me, I put myself in there too.Copy !req
187. She told me in was pure silver.Copy !req
188. Unfortunately...Copy !req
189. we vampires can not wear silver.Copy !req
190. Yeah...Copy !req
191. It's about as long as I can wear that.Copy !req
192. Tonight, we are going out
into Wellington center.Copy !req
193. It is important that we look good.Copy !req
194. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah.Copy !req
195. One of the unfortunate things about
not having a reflection is that you...Copy !req
196. don't know exactly what you look like.Copy !req
197. Look!Copy !req
198. A ghost cup!Copy !req
199. Floating all by itself!Copy !req
200. We can give each other feedback andCopy !req
201. help each other out until
we're looking great.Copy !req
202. Yes, some of our clothes are from victims.Copy !req
203. We might bite someone and then...Copy !req
204. you think,
'ooh, those are some nice pants!'.Copy !req
205. - Do work these?
- NO!Copy !req
206. Change it!Copy !req
207. When you are a vampire,
you become very sexy.Copy !req
208. We are trying to attract victims to us.Copy !req
209. Not sure about the waist coat.Copy !req
210. I go for a look which I call
Dead But Delicious.Copy !req
211. We are the bait.Copy !req
212. But we're also the trap.Copy !req
213. Hello, ladies.Copy !req
214. And my love, we are ready to go
into town and party!Copy !req
215. Vampire... vampire style.Copy !req
216. When we go into town,
we must try to blend in.Copy !req
217. We are walking the streets.Copy !req
218. Coming into town.
Um, it's really cool becauseCopy !req
219. just for one brief momentCopy !req
220. I feel...Copy !req
221. Homos!Copy !req
222. The trouble with being a vampire is youCopy !req
223. have to be invited in, to go in.Copy !req
224. We would like to come into the bar, please.Copy !req
225. Invite us into the bar, please.Copy !req
226. Keep walking.Copy !req
227. You invite us in!Copy !req
228. If the humans find out what we were...Copy !req
229. they would destroy us.Copy !req
230. There are between 60 and 70 vampires
in the greater Wellington region.Copy !req
231. - Obvious vampire.
- Joline!Copy !req
232. Hello!Copy !req
233. How embarrassing.Copy !req
234. He's a guy I used to work with
when I was human.Copy !req
235. - Is he gone?
- Yeah, he's gone.Copy !req
236. I've been draining him all night.Copy !req
237. Been a very thirsty girl.Copy !req
238. Being bitten as a little boy or a little girlCopy !req
239. you always going to look the same age.Copy !req
240. What are you doing tonight?Copy !req
241. Going to kill some perverts?Copy !req
242. - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile.
- Cool.Copy !req
243. Okay, let's just go please.Copy !req
244. - Have a good night, guys!
- Yeah, you have a good night!Copy !req
245. The Big Kumara is vampire owned and operated,
so we could always get in.Copy !req
246. It's the hottest night spot
for vampires in Wellington.Copy !req
247. - Come on in, guys, come on in.
- Thank you.Copy !req
248. Perhaps you could bring
some people to the house.Copy !req
249. - Sure.
- Perhaps some virgins?Copy !req
250. Virgins? Yep, okay.Copy !req
251. Any kind of preference in terms of gender or?Copy !req
252. Maybe some ladies?Copy !req
253. Yep. Ladies.Copy !req
254. Perhaps a guy?Copy !req
255. One of each?Copy !req
256. One of each should be cool.Copy !req
257. My relationship with Deacon is...Copy !req
258. well, I'm his familiar.
He's my Master.Copy !req
259. He tells me what to do, I do it.Copy !req
260. We have the kind of master-servant
relationship which works nicely.Copy !req
261. Actually.Copy !req
262. - Hello!
- Hello.Copy !req
263. Oh, it's a little bit of blood.Copy !req
264. Um, my husband, he's a,
he's a hemophiliac.Copy !req
265. You know, someone who bleeds a lot.Copy !req
266. Yeah.Copy !req
267. Any kind of age range?Copy !req
268. - Young.
- But not, not kids?Copy !req
269. Not kids.Copy !req
270. 18 to 30?Copy !req
271. Definitely younger than yourself.Copy !req
272. Okay, so 18 to 30.Copy !req
273. So it's a dinner party?Copy !req
274. - I'll be there?
- Yes!Copy !req
275. - Dinner party.
- The guys we'll be there?Copy !req
276. Yes.Copy !req
277. - We will all be there?
- Yes, we will dress up.Copy !req
278. - Okay, great.
- And then... eat them.Copy !req
279. - Should be fun.
- Okay, great.Copy !req
280. I was just wondering
if we could talk about the...Copy !req
281. You don't know of a night dentist?Copy !req
282. Because I have this thing here.Copy !req
283. I was just wondering if
we could talk about the deal.Copy !req
284. - Hm?
- The deal.Copy !req
285. - The dishes?
- No, the...Copy !req
286. The deal is that he is going
to give me eternal life.Copy !req
287. Um, which is...Copy !req
288. very exciting.Copy !req
289. Well, I just feel like I kind of
reached my potential andCopy !req
290. I wouldn't want to kind of,
get any older before, I kind of...Copy !req
291. I just feel like I'm the best version
of myself that I can be.Copy !req
292. It's just that it's been
4 and a half years and I justCopy !req
293. I just want... doing your plans and...Copy !req
294. Doing your dry-cleaning.
Now I'm doing your dishes.Copy !req
295. Yeah... the dentist?Copy !req
296. And the dentist and it's just taking
an awful long time, so I was just wondering...Copy !req
297. - Be gone!
- Okay.Copy !req
298. - I see you later!
- Okay.Copy !req
299. One of the most unfortunate things
about being a vampire is that...Copy !req
300. you have to drink human blood.Copy !req
301. I like to make a real evening of it.Copy !req
302. Play some music.Copy !req
303. Maybe give them some nice wine.Copy !req
304. It's their last moment alive so
why not make it a nice experience.Copy !req
305. So...Copy !req
306. Tell we what you do, what do you...Copy !req
307. I was thinking about
going back to Uni, actually.Copy !req
308. Oh, you are?
Lets put this overCopy !req
309. there.Copy !req
310. University, yeah?Copy !req
311. Yeah, but after that,
I'm gonna travel.Copy !req
312. Yeah...Copy !req
313. I really wanted
to go over seas for ages, so..Copy !req
314. Saving out and I'm gonna go to Spain andCopy !req
315. Italy and London and...Copy !req
316. Yeah.Copy !req
317. Okay. Excuse me.Copy !req
318. Just put that there.Copy !req
319. There we go.Copy !req
320. Shit!Copy !req
321. Well, that didn't go so great.Copy !req
322. Um, I hit the main artery.Copy !req
323. So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um...Copy !req
324. On the upside,
I think she had a really good time.Copy !req
325. So, it's quite late and uh...Copy !req
326. I've managed to find a woman up,
watching television.Copy !req
327. And, uh, she seems like
she'd be a good victim.Copy !req
328. I'm just going to use hypnosis on her...Copy !req
329. See me...Copy !req
330. See me...Copy !req
331. She can't, she can't see me
from that angle.Copy !req
332. Vladislav used to be extremely powerful.Copy !req
333. He could hypnotize crowds of people.Copy !req
334. Great orgies. 20-30 women.Copy !req
335. He could turn into all sorts of animals.Copy !req
336. But now he never get the faces right.Copy !req
337. He would kill anybody.
Men, women.Copy !req
338. Children. Burning... everything.Copy !req
339. It was totally great.Copy !req
340. But he suffered a humiliating defeat...Copy !req
341. at the hands of his arch nemesis...Copy !req
342. The Beast.Copy !req
343. And, he's never been the same.Copy !req
344. See me...Copy !req
345. See me...Copy !req
346. See me...Copy !req
347. See me...Copy !req
348. Would you like to come inside?Copy !req
349. Ah!Copy !req
350. - Jackie, welcome! Come in.
- Hello.Copy !req
351. This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend.Copy !req
352. - And Josefine.
- Nice house.Copy !req
353. And this is Deacon,
my over seas friend from Europe.Copy !req
354. Deacon and his friends need...Copy !req
355. victims.Copy !req
356. Hi! Please come in, welcome.Copy !req
357. There can't be people that...Copy !req
358. I actuallyCopy !req
359. envious them or like because of course
they will become victims.Copy !req
360. Hi! Josefine?Copy !req
361. No, I sat next to you in English.
Remember?Copy !req
362. Um, you used to call me the Jacksersist?Copy !req
363. No you did, no you did. Yeah.Copy !req
364. No, you started that.Copy !req
365. You were the one who started calling me that and
then it kind of caught on.Copy !req
366. Yeah.Copy !req
367. Okay, bye then. Bye.Copy !req
368. She's in.Copy !req
369. You like that, Nick?Copy !req
370. Yep, it's nice.Copy !req
371. I will go and prepare dinner.Copy !req
372. Nick, are you a virgin at all?Copy !req
373. Um, what?Copy !req
374. Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin?Copy !req
375. - Yes.
- Um, no.Copy !req
376. You were a virgin when
we were seeing each other?Copy !req
377. Yeah, I was 12.Copy !req
378. You said he was a virgin.Copy !req
379. I think we drink virgin blood because...Copy !req
380. it sounds cool.Copy !req
381. I think of it like this...Copy !req
382. If you're going to eat a sandwich..Copy !req
383. You will just enjoy it more if
you knew no one had fucked it.Copy !req
384. Let's concentrate on Josefine than.Copy !req
385. Are you a virgin?Copy !req
386. I'm not, no.Copy !req
387. Okay, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
388. Because I totally...Copy !req
389. Him there is a Virgin.Copy !req
390. She looks like a virgin.
She talks like a virgin, I mean...Copy !req
391. Who would have sex with her, I wouldn't.Copy !req
392. I would.Copy !req
393. Oh.Copy !req
394. Okay, good.Copy !req
395. - It's 2 dinners... yum.
- Nick.Copy !req
396. Do you like bisghetti?Copy !req
397. Uh... yep.
I usually like it.Copy !req
398. But, be better if it was warm?Copy !req
399. So, this is my favorite trick.Copy !req
400. We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti.Copy !req
401. And then, I would say,
' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?'Copy !req
402. Please, Nick.Copy !req
403. Eat some bisghetti.Copy !req
404. I didn't realize you enjoy eating worms.Copy !req
405. Nick.Copy !req
406. - No...
- They are worms.Copy !req
407. There's worms moving around on my plate.Copy !req
408. Worm like but not actually...
There's worms moving around on my plate.Copy !req
409. Worm like but not actually...Copy !req
410. We stole that idea from The Lost Boys.Copy !req
411. But I put a nice twist on it.Copy !req
412. Nick.Copy !req
413. How does it feel to
have a snake for a penis?Copy !req
414. Jackie?Copy !req
415. My penis has disappeared.
It's a cobra snake.Copy !req
416. Nobody is gonna mistake
your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay?Copy !req
417. - Believe me.
- What have you put in my bisghetti?Copy !req
418. No, it is just a normal penis.Copy !req
419. I'm out. I'm out.Copy !req
420. Josefine?Copy !req
421. Do you like bisghetti?Copy !req
422. Look, these freaks...Copy !req
423. spike my bisghetti,
make my cock turn into a snake is not cool.Copy !req
424. Not cool.Copy !req
425. You don't think this is weird?Copy !req
426. For fuck sakes...Copy !req
427. Jackie?Copy !req
428. Jackie!Copy !req
429. - Sorry Nick.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
430. Jackie!Copy !req
431. Shit!Copy !req
432. Fuck off.Copy !req
433. Where am I?Copy !req
434. Fuck.Copy !req
435. Fuck!Copy !req
436. Freaks!Copy !req
437. Ah, no...Copy !req
438. Petyr got him.Copy !req
439. Poor guy...Copy !req
440. Who let Petyr out?Copy !req
441. Hey, guys!Copy !req
442. Hey, what are you guys doing?Copy !req
443. What are you doing, Nick?Copy !req
444. Come into the house.Copy !req
445. - Hi, my name is Nick.
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
446. I've been a vampire for 2 months.Copy !req
447. Probably, I reckon best thing
about being a vampire is flying.Copy !req
448. Like I've always wanted to,
I think everyone has always wanted to fly.Copy !req
449. And now I can do it.Copy !req
450. Oh...Copy !req
451. Nick, why don't you use the front door?Copy !req
452. Why would I? I'm flying.Copy !req
453. Petyr bit me.Copy !req
454. Sucked all my blood out.Copy !req
455. I woke up in his basement and...Copy !req
456. he offered me some blood.Copy !req
457. I just thought it was something...Copy !req
458. some German thing that these guys do.Copy !req
459. This transition, into becoming
a vampire was pretty hard.Copy !req
460. I look like shit to start off with, like,
I had a massive gash on my neck.Copy !req
461. Like you could see the inside of my neck.Copy !req
462. I had blood all over my top.Copy !req
463. And then I came home and
I was sweating.Copy !req
464. I was either really hot or really cold.Copy !req
465. It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon.Copy !req
466. It was really bad.Copy !req
467. It was quite similar to having the flu.Copy !req
468. Except, the only difference
would probably be...Copy !req
469. that my eyes bleed heaps.Copy !req
470. Are you guys not cold?Copy !req
471. No, I can't really explain it.
It's like, yeah, really hot and cold and like...Copy !req
472. bloody eyes and flying and stuff.Copy !req
473. The neighbors can see you
flying around the house.Copy !req
474. You want to draw attention
to his house, hm?Copy !req
475. You got a whole...
documentary crew following you around.Copy !req
476. I am doing an erotic dance for my friends.Copy !req
477. And you ruined it.
I was in the zone.Copy !req
478. My friends are loving it.Copy !req
479. I love it. I saw the end of it.
It looked great.Copy !req
480. I don't, I don't know,
if I'm, if I'm accepted yet.Copy !req
481. But... I don't know.
I think it's getting there.Copy !req
482. I don't know the oldest stuff,
but they're quite naive...Copy !req
483. when it comes to the real world.Copy !req
484. So...Copy !req
485. I don't know,
it would be cool to just...Copy !req
486. Hang out with them.
They could teach me some stuff.Copy !req
487. But I could probably
teach them a few things.Copy !req
488. At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..'Copy !req
489. '... I'm dead.'Copy !req
490. It kind of affected my friendship with normal people,
my family and stuff.Copy !req
491. But, of the way I see it,
I've got a whole new family.Copy !req
492. They accept me for who I am.
They don't even seem to know who they are.Copy !req
493. Even though...Copy !req
494. one of them killed me.Copy !req
495. Where should we go tonight?Copy !req
496. Let's go to the big Kumara.Copy !req
497. Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland?
We never get in to Boogie Wonderland.Copy !req
498. My friend Richard's the bouncer.
He can get us in.Copy !req
499. - What? Really?
- I'll invite us in.Copy !req
500. - Stu is game.
- He will come with us too?Copy !req
501. Ah, this is my friend Stu.Copy !req
502. - Hey.
- He works in computers and stuff.Copy !req
503. Originally he went out with my sister.Copy !req
504. And then they broke up.Copy !req
505. I didn't want her to do it, but...Copy !req
506. It's got nothing to do with me.Copy !req
507. And um... he can't hear me.Copy !req
508. Yeah, so basically...Copy !req
509. Stu doesn't know that I'm a vampire.Copy !req
510. And he doesn't know that
my friends are vampires.Copy !req
511. He just thinks that I'm just...Copy !req
512. with some powerful friends.Copy !req
513. I bought a room in the house and
he thought I bought a meal.Copy !req
514. Just like...Copy !req
515. it really, really sucks...Copy !req
516. that I can't eat him.Copy !req
517. I just want to like...Copy !req
518. Look at it.
He's the reddest guy I know.Copy !req
519. Right, you can hear me.Copy !req
520. - Like computer based and stuff, heh, mainly?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
521. - Databases.
- Yeah, like computers mainly.Copy !req
522. Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland
or The Big Kumara.Copy !req
523. Big Kumara!Copy !req
524. Wait.Copy !req
525. Come on Stu, hurry up.Copy !req
526. I don't think Nick should have been
turned into a vampire.Copy !req
527. He's such a dick.Copy !req
528. Looking great man!Copy !req
529. You are most welcome!Copy !req
530. We're in Boogie Wonderland!Copy !req
531. Here we are at Boogie Wonderland
and it is so much fun.Copy !req
532. This is amazing!Copy !req
533. I'm so happy to be here.Copy !req
534. This is pretty cheesy.Copy !req
535. Also, did you see the jacket he wore?Copy !req
536. He's wearing the same jacket as me.Copy !req
537. - It's not exactly the same.
- It's pretty close.Copy !req
538. I'm just loving being a vampire.Copy !req
539. Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms.Copy !req
540. Ah, on Wednesday's there be,
like fear factor competition.Copy !req
541. You can win like t-shirts and
hats and small prizes.Copy !req
542. I can smell werewolves.Copy !req
543. Okay, we're just about to walk passed some werewolves
so some shit might go down!Copy !req
544. Look out guys. Don't catch flees.Copy !req
545. - What's that, mate?
- Deacon.Copy !req
546. - Sorry what?
- Keep going, keep walking.Copy !req
547. - Keep walking!
- We heard that, mate. We've got sensitive hearing.Copy !req
548. - Have you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
549. What are you filming?
It's a music video, is it?Copy !req
550. We don't want any trouble.Copy !req
551. - Why did you start it?
- Well, I do. Have I got your heckles up?Copy !req
552. Huh?Copy !req
553. Why don't you girls smell
your own crutches, huh?Copy !req
554. - Come on. It's not worth it.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
555. We don't smell our own crutches.
We smell each others crutches.Copy !req
556. And it's a... form of... greeting.Copy !req
557. Your own camera, mate, don't, don't...Copy !req
558. What?Copy !req
559. It's okay, cause I know this guy.Copy !req
560. It's count Fagula.Copy !req
561. Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear.Copy !req
562. - Sorry... they... they...
- We're werewolves.Copy !req
563. - Not swearwolves.
- What are we?Copy !req
564. We're werewolves, not swearwolves.Copy !req
565. - No, listen, that's offensive...
- That's a really offensive word to call people.Copy !req
566. Well, at least you're talking
about a bundle of sticks.Copy !req
567. Please, this bundle of sticks...Copy !req
568. Werewolves?Copy !req
569. - No, no, no!
- Don't get it! Nathan it's not real.Copy !req
570. He's just gonna take of his gloves.Copy !req
571. Ah, shit, man!
Why the fuck did you do that for?Copy !req
572. Hey! Don't swear.
We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it.Copy !req
573. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey.Copy !req
574. Calm down. Calm down!Copy !req
575. - Get the fuck my glasses!
- Dion! Dion!Copy !req
576. Hey, hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
577. Do the breathing! Do the breathing.Copy !req
578. Do the breathing.
Count to 10, mate. Count to 10.Copy !req
579. - Come on.
- Hold it.Copy !req
580. Count to 10, human again.Copy !req
581. - 10, human again.
- It's alright. It's not full moon.Copy !req
582. Thanks a lot guys.Copy !req
583. - Enjoy your night, yah?
- You should be ashamed of yourselves, man.Copy !req
584. Great, we didn't want this to happen.Copy !req
585. - Come on guys.
- Hey!Copy !req
586. Say it! Don't spray it, bitch!Copy !req
587. Declan!Copy !req
588. - Why are you swearing all the time?
- Well, he ride with me...Copy !req
589. - Were they actually werewolves?
- Yeah.Copy !req
590. Are you okay, Stu?Copy !req
591. I just don't really know how to...Copy !req
592. approach this,
cause I never done it before.Copy !req
593. Um, and he is a good friend.Copy !req
594. And I don't wanna...Copy !req
595. I don't want to break that friendship but..Copy !req
596. then again, what do you do when
someone tells you, that they're a vampire?Copy !req
597. I'm expecting him to be angry.Copy !req
598. He might be scared and expecting
lot of things to, to bubble to the surface.Copy !req
599. You probably noticed, it has been...Copy !req
600. I've been going through a few changes lately.Copy !req
601. - Yeah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
602. Yeah.Copy !req
603. Like...Copy !req
604. I don't show up for lunch anymore.Copy !req
605. - Yeah.
- Have...Copy !req
606. changed the story of all of Tina's games.Copy !req
607. The night time, Tina's games.Copy !req
608. Right...Copy !req
609. And how you went from beating meCopy !req
610. every time and how ICopy !req
611. I've won the last 3?Copy !req
612. Yeah.Copy !req
613. So...Copy !req
614. The reason I brought you here...Copy !req
615. is to tell you that...Copy !req
616. I'm a vampire.Copy !req
617. Stu took it pretty well.Copy !req
618. He's definitely my best mate.Copy !req
619. And I'm not gonna eat him.Copy !req
620. But if they ever offer you bisghetti...Copy !req
621. Um... you shouldn't eat it.Copy !req
622. They offered me biscotti.Copy !req
623. Vampire mates don't eat human mates.Copy !req
624. And no matter how much I want to eat him...Copy !req
625. I will never eat him cause he's my mate.Copy !req
626. - Right, Stu?
- Yah.Copy !req
627. Yeah.Copy !req
628. Stu is great.Copy !req
629. We really like him.Copy !req
630. At first I wanted to kill him.Copy !req
631. But now I'm glad I've spent
the time to get to know him.Copy !req
632. Yeah, of course he looks delicious
with his big red cheeks.Copy !req
633. But we've all got an agreement
that we're not going to eat Stu.Copy !req
634. - Right?
- Right.Copy !req
635. The guys upstairs, they...
They're loving him.Copy !req
636. That's ... it started off with,
'Who's this human you're bringing into the house?'Copy !req
637. But it took them literally 2 minutes andCopy !req
638. they like him more than
they like me, I reckon.Copy !req
639. I'm knitting a scarf for Stu.Copy !req
640. Try it again. Use your legs.Copy !req
641. Wow.Copy !req
642. - Step back...
- Punching high.Copy !req
643. - Yep.
- Hi.Copy !req
644. Yep.Copy !req
645. I'm just, what I'm trying to say is...Copy !req
646. cause I know that you...Copy !req
647. you turned me into a vampire.Copy !req
648. Maybe don't do that to him.Copy !req
649. He's a... vegetarian.Copy !req
650. Last thing he'd want to is eat...Copy !req
651. a life-being or eat blood or eat meat...Copy !req
652. - I am controlling this.
- Get it, get it!Copy !req
653. Quite amazing to see how far
technology can go forwardCopy !req
654. if you're not paying attention.Copy !req
655. One message received.Copy !req
656. There is a crucifix behind you.Copy !req
657. So, done on it, or like,
half way down and focus it.Copy !req
658. Maybe smile.Copy !req
659. - Anything you want to find, you...
- Yeah.Copy !req
660. - You can type your name here.
- I've lost...Copy !req
661. a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.Copy !req
662. Yes, now Google it.Copy !req
663. Stu is the first human friend
that I've had for long time.Copy !req
664. With humans there's a tendency to die.Copy !req
665. Yeah.Copy !req
666. We can look at her photos.Copy !req
667. - Ah, oh yes.
- Or you can poke her.Copy !req
668. Yes.Copy !req
669. Can we see a movie with sunrise?Copy !req
670. - What? Shit!
- Whoo...Copy !req
671. Nice...Copy !req
672. If you push images,
than we can see pictures of virgins.Copy !req
673. - Ah, yes. Yes.
- Yah, yah...Copy !req
674. I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.Copy !req
675. There he is, yeah.Copy !req
676. This is my old servant, Phillip.Copy !req
677. - So, we're gonna call him.
- Yeah.Copy !req
678. And...Copy !req
679. screen...Copy !req
680. My God, that's him, that's him,
that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip.Copy !req
681. - He looks old.Copy !req
682. Yeah, kind of like youth romance,
but like more, more layers.Copy !req
683. Maybe Twilight, have you seen it?Copy !req
684. Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight.
You now the main guy?Copy !req
685. Twilight?Copy !req
686. That's me.Copy !req
687. Cameras following me around.Copy !req
688. They could have chosen anyone.Copy !req
689. How many people have you told
you are a vampire?Copy !req
690. - Not many.
- I heard that girl...Copy !req
691. talking about that
you said you were a vampire.Copy !req
692. Yeah, I told her.Copy !req
693. - Who else?
- Who did you tell?Copy !req
694. Uh, I told her hot friend.Copy !req
695. You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire.Copy !req
696. Who's that guy?Copy !req
697. I don't know but I told him.Copy !req
698. You can't tell everyone.Copy !req
699. Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition.Copy !req
700. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
701. Um, vampire eyes.
Can't go into the sun.Copy !req
702. Oh, my God, is that your fangs?Copy !req
703. For real?Copy !req
704. For real, real.Copy !req
705. For real, real.Copy !req
706. I'm a vampire.Copy !req
707. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
708. - I'm a vampire hunter.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
709. - No?
- You fucking piece of shit.Copy !req
710. I'll Skype you!Copy !req
711. I float.Copy !req
712. - I transform into stuff.
- Same.Copy !req
713. - No you can't.
- Yeah.Copy !req
714. I'll show you.Copy !req
715. Show me.
Show me some of your vampire stuff.Copy !req
716. What have I got?
Um...Copy !req
717. Don't lie about transforming into shit.Copy !req
718. - Twilight!
- Shut up, Nick!Copy !req
719. You're not Twilight.Copy !req
720. - What's your problem?
- You are my problem.Copy !req
721. Telling the world that we are vampires.Copy !req
722. And I'll tell the whole world
that you're an asshole now.Copy !req
723. Shut up!Copy !req
724. - Shut up!
- Guys?Copy !req
725. - You shut up!
- No, you shut up!Copy !req
726. - No, you shut up.
- You shut up.Copy !req
727. I'm Dracula, man!Copy !req
728. You're not Dracula!
- I'm Dracula!Copy !req
729. You don't even know who Dracula is!Copy !req
730. You idiot!Copy !req
731. - Oh, bat fight!
- Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah!Copy !req
732. Ah, Deacon!Copy !req
733. That wasn't fair, man!Copy !req
734. My fucking jacket, man!Copy !req
735. I don't care about your stupid jacket.Copy !req
736. - Deacon!
- You okay, man?Copy !req
737. - Hey, Stu?
- Mm-hm?Copy !req
738. How's your worms?Copy !req
739. Alright.Copy !req
740. You're eating worms.Copy !req
741. Can you do that shit when
you turn them into worms?Copy !req
742. No.Copy !req
743. Doesn't work on chips.Copy !req
744. Only works on things that
already look like worms.Copy !req
745. - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles?
- He knows now.Copy !req
746. Oh no. I wouldn't eat that.Copy !req
747. Why?Copy !req
748. Are you okay Nick?Copy !req
749. Alright?Copy !req
750. He ate fried chip.Copy !req
751. I can't eat salads now, great.Copy !req
752. I can't sunbath.Copy !req
753. I can't watch daytime TV.Copy !req
754. I can if I could, or I guess I could.Copy !req
755. More, more then ever just the chips.Copy !req
756. My favorite food.
I can't eat chips.Copy !req
757. I don't... it's just...Copy !req
758. I hate...Copy !req
759. I said it. I'm over being a vampire.
It's shit.Copy !req
760. So, don't, don't believe the hype.Copy !req
761. Jackie?Copy !req
762. Jackie, can I come in please?Copy !req
763. - Okay, off to bed, guys!
- Hello, children!Copy !req
764. - Don't look at the men.
- You want me to kill this?Copy !req
765. Don't look at the men!Copy !req
766. I was going to bite you tonight.Copy !req
767. Really?Copy !req
768. But now I can't because
there's this Nick being a vampire.Copy !req
769. Sorry, sorry, I thought you
killed him 2 months ago.Copy !req
770. No, I didn't... no... he's a vampire.Copy !req
771. What do you mean?Copy !req
772. He jumped in front of your place.Copy !req
773. All I'm saying is that, um...Copy !req
774. You know if I had a penis,
I would have been...Copy !req
775. I would have been bitten years ago.Copy !req
776. I might have to penalize you.Copy !req
777. Perhaps another couple of years.
Maybe 10 years.Copy !req
778. Hm?Copy !req
779. Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks.Copy !req
780. You know, they don't even wear shirts,
they wear blouses. It's, it's just...Copy !req
781. a big homo-erotic dick biting club.Copy !req
782. And I'm stuck here,
ironing their fucking frills.Copy !req
783. Also clean the bathroom, please.Copy !req
784. It's blood everywhere.
It is gruesome.Copy !req
785. Okay, see you tomorrow.Copy !req
786. Off to bed, please.Copy !req
787. Katherine.Copy !req
788. She was so charming and nice.Copy !req
789. She was everything I wanted.Copy !req
790. Unfortunately...Copy !req
791. yeah, she was married.Copy !req
792. Sure, I wanted to kill the guy.Copy !req
793. I thought about, chopping his head off.Copy !req
794. Draining him of every
drop of blood that he had.Copy !req
795. Who wouldn't?Copy !req
796. But then, I also saw
how happy she was.Copy !req
797. And that made me kind of happy.Copy !req
798. And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so...Copy !req
799. I did the honorable thing and I just...Copy !req
800. stepped back.Copy !req
801. And let her live her life.Copy !req
802. Petyr!Copy !req
803. Petyr!Copy !req
804. Where is it?Copy !req
805. Petyr!Copy !req
806. Petyr!Copy !req
807. Petyr!Copy !req
808. Get water!Copy !req
809. - Get out of the sunlight!
- Get water! Get water!Copy !req
810. Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight!Copy !req
811. Get in the shadows, Petyr!Copy !req
812. Get out of the sunlight!Copy !req
813. Get out of my way!Copy !req
814. I'm going in!Copy !req
815. I'm coming Petyr!Copy !req
816. - Deacon, no, it's sunlight!
- I'm coming for you!Copy !req
817. It's sunlight out there!Copy !req
818. It's sunlight!Copy !req
819. I was too late.Copy !req
820. Turn that thing off.Copy !req
821. Our friend had just been killed
in a fatal sunlight accident.Copy !req
822. So this is what I think happened.Copy !req
823. The vampire hunter...Copy !req
824. broke into the window here.Copy !req
825. Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg.Copy !req
826. Then he has come this way.Copy !req
827. Towards the tomb.Copy !req
828. Crucifix!Copy !req
829. Cover the crucifix!Copy !req
830. And then...Copy !req
831. Petyr has burst from the tomb.Copy !req
832. Pushed the tomb lid
on to the vampire hunter.Copy !req
833. And then the sunlight has come through here.Copy !req
834. And burned Petyr alive.Copy !req
835. Think this is just a table leg, which is...Copy !req
836. sanded down.Copy !req
837. - Do you think he hand sanded that, or?
- Yes.Copy !req
838. Image that, stuck in your...Copy !req
839. It's quite shocking down here, Nick.Copy !req
840. Look, here's our sweet Petyr.Copy !req
841. - Fucking hell.
- Burnt to a sizzle.Copy !req
842. - I can't figure out this.
- This is the vampire hunter.Copy !req
843. Is this Franco?Copy !req
844. - Uh, who's this guy?
- Look at this...Copy !req
845. bloody head, back to front.Copy !req
846. Twist it the other way,
the other way!Copy !req
847. Let's see who this guy is.Copy !req
848. - Hm, typical macho type.
- Yuck!Copy !req
849. It is.Copy !req
850. Oh, shit!Copy !req
851. I know that guy.Copy !req
852. - Actually.
- You know him?Copy !req
853. - Yeah.
- What?Copy !req
854. I saw him the other night in town.Copy !req
855. Told him I was a vampire.Copy !req
856. What?Copy !req
857. I thought he was joking.
He said he was a vampire hunter.Copy !req
858. You let a vampire hunter into our house?Copy !req
859. - I just gave him my e-mail.
- Nick!Copy !req
860. Take out your tongue.Copy !req
861. And shove it down your ass.Copy !req
862. Fucking hell!Copy !req
863. You and your big mouth!Copy !req
864. It was a mistake!Copy !req
865. Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man.Copy !req
866. We can talk it out, yeah, man?Copy !req
867. We can talk it out, mate!Copy !req
868. - I'll kill you!
- I'm already dead!Copy !req
869. Stu, stay back!Copy !req
870. Someone's at the door.Copy !req
871. Go, go.Copy !req
872. Oh, shit.Copy !req
873. - Good evening, sir.
- Hello, police.Copy !req
874. Hi, I'm constable O'Leary.
This is constable Minogue.Copy !req
875. We're just responding to a report
of a possible forced entry and also...Copy !req
876. a rather large amount of shrieking.Copy !req
877. Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in
and just have a wee look around?Copy !req
878. Okay.Copy !req
879. What's with the fellow?
What's with the camera?Copy !req
880. Yeah, we're obviously just here
cause there was a phone callCopy !req
881. from the, a member of the public, um,
about a bit of disturbance.Copy !req
882. Um, some loud noises.Copy !req
883. - Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there?
- Um...Copy !req
884. And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so...Copy !req
885. We're just checking over the scene.
Making sure every thing's uh...Copy !req
886. You know, above board sort of speaking, uh...Copy !req
887. Making sure no ones in danger,
that kind of thing.Copy !req
888. We might go up and have a wee look up there,
if that's alright with you?Copy !req
889. - Come on mate, you lead the way.
- Just a little tour. Yeah.Copy !req
890. Okay.Copy !req
891. - Smells a bit weird here too, mate.
- Yeah.Copy !req
892. What do you call that?Copy !req
893. Barbecue.Copy !req
894. You will not notice anything
out of the ordinary.Copy !req
895. No, we certainly hope not.
Let's just...Copy !req
896. Lets just keep going.Copy !req
897. - Hi there guys. How are yah?
- Hello.Copy !req
898. Hi fellas.Copy !req
899. We've just wondering where
all the shouting was coming from?Copy !req
900. That was me.Copy !req
901. Yeah, okay, we've had a couple reports, okay?Copy !req
902. A couple of people not happy
with the level of noise here.Copy !req
903. Okay.Copy !req
904. The neighbors?Copy !req
905. You got neighbors on either side.Copy !req
906. Feeling nervous.Copy !req
907. I've hypnotized those cops.Copy !req
908. I'm not a great hypothesizer
so it could wear off any second.Copy !req
909. I really hope that those guys
don't kill those policeCopy !req
910. because then this means
more police will come.Copy !req
911. Possibly even Christians which is totally
the last things we need in this house.Copy !req
912. I can see you're having a good time.
End of the day...Copy !req
913. we got to keep the, uh,
the peace, okay?Copy !req
914. Whoa, whoa, whoa...Copy !req
915. See what I'm seeing?Copy !req
916. Is that even ok?Copy !req
917. You're joking?Copy !req
918. Not a smoke alarm in sight.Copy !req
919. No smoke detectors, mate?Copy !req
920. Rule number 1:Copy !req
921. Smoke detectors.Copy !req
922. Okay.Copy !req
923. Rule number 2: maybe not
so many barbeque's inside.Copy !req
924. - Sorry fellas.
- Okay.Copy !req
925. - Barbeque's?
- That was really strong there, ain't it?Copy !req
926. What kind of marinade?Copy !req
927. Who's this guy?Copy !req
928. Um...Copy !req
929. It's a friend who came to our party.Copy !req
930. Mate, you're alright?Copy !req
931. - He's drunk.
- That's what I thought.Copy !req
932. Drunk guy.Copy !req
933. You can't just leave him down
here like that, okay?Copy !req
934. This guy's not having a good time.Copy !req
935. He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning.Copy !req
936. Well, he's soul is in hell, so...Copy !req
937. Well, I don't know where's his soul's at,
but all I am saying, where is his blanket?Copy !req
938. Who left the concrete on?Copy !req
939. - Yeah, you can move him there?
- It's definitely not going to be comfortable.Copy !req
940. - Seen anything else in there?
- No, I think I've seen enough.Copy !req
941. - Okay.
- Hang on a minute.Copy !req
942. What have we got here?Copy !req
943. - What is that?
- This?Copy !req
944. - Oh, this?
- Are you seeing this clearly as I can?Copy !req
945. Adhesive, mate.Copy !req
946. That's a flammable.Copy !req
947. And then you got a lamp on top of that.Copy !req
948. Directly underneath the power source.Copy !req
949. - That is quite bad.
- It's very bad.Copy !req
950. And no smoke detectors again are there?Copy !req
951. - No.
- Yes, there are.Copy !req
952. - Yes, there are.
- Okay, that's good.Copy !req
953. Lots to think about guys.Copy !req
954. - Yeah, lots to think about there guys.
- Next flat-meeting, yeah.Copy !req
955. Yeah, good thinking, that's the thing, just...Copy !req
956. - ... have a bit of dialogue about it.
- Okay.Copy !req
957. - They've got a really good point.
- Wait!Copy !req
958. Let's kill them.Copy !req
959. Well, let's just see what other safety...Copy !req
960. - Stay here and then maybe we'll...
- Yeah.Copy !req
961. I call into session,Copy !req
962. this trial of Nick,Copy !req
963. of Wellington.Copy !req
964. Read the charges.Copy !req
965. Problems we have with Nick.Copy !req
966. Number 1:Copy !req
967. You brought a human into our house.Copy !req
968. - Which is a big no-no in the vampire world.
- Stu is, Stu is okay though?Copy !req
969. Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just...Copy !req
970. cross that one out.Copy !req
971. Uh...Copy !req
972. - Thank you Stu.
- Thank you Stu.Copy !req
973. So...Copy !req
974. The new number 1:Copy !req
975. Nick's been telling people he's a vampire.Copy !req
976. That in turn resulted in...Copy !req
977. an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter.Copy !req
978. Crime number 2:Copy !req
979. This is quite a bigy, Nick.Copy !req
980. The vampire hunter who killed Petyr.Copy !req
981. That's... I actually should've...
that should have been crime number oneCopy !req
982. but we wanted to build up to that.Copy !req
983. Number 3:Copy !req
984. Deacon doesn't like that
your wear the same jacket as him.Copy !req
985. And he would like you to find
your own original style.Copy !req
986. For these crimes of whichCopy !req
987. we the vampire council find you guilty...Copy !req
988. you should be banished from our flat.Copy !req
989. Indefinitely.Copy !req
990. - Indefinitely?
- Indefinitely.Copy !req
991. So I can come back?Copy !req
992. No, no, indefinitely means that there is no end.Copy !req
993. I thought that there was no...Copy !req
994. No, indefinite means
that it's not a definite thing.Copy !req
995. Yeah, but it's long.Copy !req
996. Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months.Copy !req
997. NO! No, it is not tomorrow!Copy !req
998. - You get about at least 6 moths.
- Banished!Copy !req
999. You are banished.Copy !req
1000. But Stu, you can visit if you like.Copy !req
1001. Thank you.Copy !req
1002. For your crimes...Copy !req
1003. you will be made to suffer...Copy !req
1004. the procession...Copy !req
1005. of shame.Copy !req
1006. I asked them Nick,
I asked them not to pass that sentence.Copy !req
1007. We should do this immediately.Copy !req
1008. - In my opinion.
- You didn't ask.Copy !req
1009. You didn't ask. You were saying yes.Copy !req
1010. - I did...
- Well, this is what's going to happen.Copy !req
1011. I still think it's quite extreme.Copy !req
1012. Let us do the procession of shame.Copy !req
1013. Now.Copy !req
1014. - Shame.
- Shame!Copy !req
1015. Shame. Shame. Shame!Copy !req
1016. Shame!Copy !req
1017. - Shame.
- Bad vampire!Copy !req
1018. Shame.Copy !req
1019. Should we go Stu?Copy !req
1020. Bye Stu.Copy !req
1021. That was a shame.Copy !req
1022. So today we have an invitation.Copy !req
1023. To the big event of the year.Copy !req
1024. Breaking it open.Copy !req
1025. They have burned the edges.Copy !req
1026. - Like a treasure map or something.
- It looks very authentic, doesn't it?Copy !req
1027. 'Dearly departed...'Copy !req
1028. That's us.Copy !req
1029. 'The Wellington vampire association
in conjunction with theCopy !req
1030. lower-hat-vampire-witch clubCopy !req
1031. and the Kurory-zombie societyCopy !req
1032. invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade
on the night of the 6th of June...Copy !req
1033. starting at 6 PM.'Copy !req
1034. - 666...
- Oh, yeah...Copy !req
1035. The Unholy Masquerade of course is great time
for the undead community of Wellington.Copy !req
1036. There's zombies there.
Vampires, banshees, all having a dance together.Copy !req
1037. It's all a big deal for me.Copy !req
1038. Love it.Copy !req
1039. One year I went to
The Unholy Masquerade dressed asCopy !req
1040. Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act...Copy !req
1041. 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit.Copy !req
1042. Didn't go down so well because
she was a nun.Copy !req
1043. Vampires don't like nuns.Copy !req
1044. Of course the big deal of
The Unholy MasqueradeCopy !req
1045. is that every year they
announce the guest of honor.Copy !req
1046. And... um...Copy !req
1047. I don't know if I should be saying this but...Copy !req
1048. I heard a little rumorCopy !req
1049. that the guest of honor this year...Copy !req
1050. might be me.Copy !req
1051. The location...Copy !req
1052. - Oh, yeah, where is it?
- Where's the location?Copy !req
1053. Detrol of Despair.Copy !req
1054. And the guest of honor will be...Copy !req
1055. Who is it? Show me.Copy !req
1056. Hm.Copy !req
1057. Okay.Copy !req
1058. Okay.Copy !req
1059. - Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine.
- Okay?Copy !req
1060. Vladislav...Copy !req
1061. has...Copy !req
1062. just had a reaction to the information
that the guest of honor will be...Copy !req
1063. um... The Beast.Copy !req
1064. The darkest part of my mindCopy !req
1065. is reserved to The Beast.Copy !req
1066. We can tell you a thing
or two about The Beast.Copy !req
1067. You should pray that you
never have to see The Beast.Copy !req
1068. This one is called The Beast.Copy !req
1069. And I said,
'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!'Copy !req
1070. He may have told you
some stories about hisCopy !req
1071. great battle with The Beast.Copy !req
1072. Yeah, oh,
'I fought The Beast on a cliff.'Copy !req
1073. Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.'Copy !req
1074. 'One time I fought The Beast
in the toilettes of a night club.'Copy !req
1075. Difficult battle.Copy !req
1076. I hope you never see The Beast.Copy !req
1077. The Beast.Copy !req
1078. You can't go the the ball as Blade.Copy !req
1079. He's a vampire hunter.Copy !req
1080. Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes.Copy !req
1081. It's inappropriate.Copy !req
1082. Okay, Vlad? The Green Jortes,Copy !req
1083. or the Black Leather with the Dragon Belt?Copy !req
1084. - We're have a mild crises here.
- Doesn't matter which pants you were, just...Copy !req
1085. - What do you want with me?
- Just look at the pants Vlad!Copy !req
1086. Look at the pants!Copy !req
1087. Enough with the pants!Copy !req
1088. - Shit, man!
- Holy shit!Copy !req
1089. Oh, you look terrible.Copy !req
1090. The black pants.Copy !req
1091. Thank you. Get dressed!Copy !req
1092. I don't know if I feel up to it, really.Copy !req
1093. You don't look that great but
if you eat someone on the way...Copy !req
1094. If you ate a little bit?
- You could probably wear a mask or something.Copy !req
1095. Just leave me to do my dark biding on the Internet!Copy !req
1096. What are you biding on?Copy !req
1097. I'm biding on a table.Copy !req
1098. - Are you coming or not?
- Not.Copy !req
1099. I'm gonna go change.
We're leaving in 10 minutes.Copy !req
1100. Have a good time!Copy !req
1101. We waited often,
without giving into that kind of...Copy !req
1102. stuff which I'm really sick
of that but you know...Copy !req
1103. It just that, it's a hard frustration...Copy !req
1104. takes people down.Copy !req
1105. Come on. Can I introduce, um...Copy !req
1106. - Aaron and Alisha.
- Hi, how are you?Copy !req
1107. Hi.Copy !req
1108. - Hi.
- Less moaning guys.Copy !req
1109. So we are at The Unholy Masquerade.Copy !req
1110. It's great.Copy !req
1111. This is my mask.Copy !req
1112. Which I made for the occasion.Copy !req
1113. Hey!Copy !req
1114. - Jackie.
- Yeah!Copy !req
1115. - This is undead party.
- Yeah, I'm a vampire.Copy !req
1116. You...?Copy !req
1117. I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire!Copy !req
1118. - Great.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1119. - So, um, who bit you?
- Oh, Nick.Copy !req
1120. - Oh great.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1121. Okay.Copy !req
1122. Deacon!Copy !req
1123. Pretty rude, because she was my...Copy !req
1124. servant.Copy !req
1125. She was a pretty useless servant.Copy !req
1126. - I wouldn't...
- Yeah, yeah, but still, it would have been...Copy !req
1127. appreciated if you'd asked...Copy !req
1128. How's Stu?Copy !req
1129. - He's good. He's here.Copy !req
1130. - Oh, his here?
- Stu! STU!Copy !req
1131. Hey, hey!Copy !req
1132. Hey!Copy !req
1133. Has anyone looked at you
like they want to eat you, at all?Copy !req
1134. Ah, no...Copy !req
1135. Can you hear me at the back?Copy !req
1136. On behalf of the Wellington vampire society...Copy !req
1137. uh, with lower-hat vampire and witch club.Copy !req
1138. And the Kurory Zombie society,
we welcome you here tonight.Copy !req
1139. We're raffling a live big pet this year,
you could seeCopy !req
1140. the prize over here on my left.Copy !req
1141. It's a wonderful prize.Copy !req
1142. I thinks it's a 10 dollars each or
45 dollars for a book of five.Copy !req
1143. Now without further adieu, it's my very great pleasureCopy !req
1144. to introduce to you this years guest of honor.Copy !req
1145. Pauline Ivanovich!Copy !req
1146. Thank you.Copy !req
1147. That's The Beast.Copy !req
1148. Thank you.Copy !req
1149. The Beast is, uh, the name
I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline.Copy !req
1150. She prefers Pauline.Copy !req
1151. We had a very intense relationship.Copy !req
1152. We were very...Copy !req
1153. sexually explosive.Copy !req
1154. Last time I saw her, she impelled me and
called me an asshole.Copy !req
1155. She said...Copy !req
1156. all kinds of things that really hurt me.Copy !req
1157. And all this while I was impelled on a lamp post.Copy !req
1158. Well, everyone, I will be mingling around
and I really hope that...Copy !req
1159. I will meet...Copy !req
1160. all of you.Copy !req
1161. Hello.Copy !req
1162. That's the new guy.Copy !req
1163. What, what kind of vampire... if he is a vampire.
Did you see his face?Copy !req
1164. Oh... oh.Copy !req
1165. - Hello!
- Hi, how are you?Copy !req
1166. - This is Deacon.
- Hello Deacon.Copy !req
1167. - This is Stu.
- Good day Stu.Copy !req
1168. - How are you my friend?
- Good.Copy !req
1169. Hi. Stu.Copy !req
1170. You got really warm hands too.Copy !req
1171. You a demon?Copy !req
1172. - No, he's not a demon!
- I'm a software analyst.Copy !req
1173. - Stu, Stu, Stu...
- Am I a witch?Copy !req
1174. Go dance, uh, with anyone.Copy !req
1175. - Sure.
- Okay, take your time.Copy !req
1176. I like Stu. He's not vampire, or a zombie...Copy !req
1177. - Am I a witch?
- He's not...Copy !req
1178. He not uh... he's neither,
he's uh... more of a human.Copy !req
1179. Excuse me, excuse me.
Hi, Nick, hey.Copy !req
1180. Um, Nick...Copy !req
1181. Do you mind if Stu is killed?Copy !req
1182. Uh, I don't feel real good about it.Copy !req
1183. Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a...Copy !req
1184. - ... a personal question?
- Sure.Copy !req
1185. Are you, um...Copy !req
1186. are you, are you,
are you predeceased?Copy !req
1187. Uh...Copy !req
1188. If anyone's gonna eat him is gonna be us but
we're not, we're passed it.Copy !req
1189. They can just go fuck themselves.Copy !req
1190. Nick! It is your fault.Copy !req
1191. Okay? You brought a human
into this den of vampis nest.Copy !req
1192. - You're not helping.
- Yes, you did.Copy !req
1193. - Plus one.
- Lovely talking to you, I've got to shout off now.Copy !req
1194. See you later on.Copy !req
1195. As soon as one vampire takes a bite,
it's a frenzy!Copy !req
1196. - A frenzy!
- Okay, we've got to get him out.Copy !req
1197. Okay, follow me, follow me.Copy !req
1198. Excuse me, sorry guys.Copy !req
1199. Okay, Stu.Copy !req
1200. Put that over your red face.Copy !req
1201. - Just going out for a cigarette.
- Oh, hey!Copy !req
1202. - Okay, not that way.
- This way.Copy !req
1203. - This way.
- Is there another way?Copy !req
1204. - Get away from the vampires.
- Guys...Copy !req
1205. Excuse me everyone!Copy !req
1206. Can I have your attention please.Copy !req
1207. Some of the vampires forget
Unholy Masquerade rules.Copy !req
1208. They brought a human.Copy !req
1209. And they don't let us to feast on him.Copy !req
1210. This was a total misunderstanding.Copy !req
1211. There was on the invitation,
and this actually pertains to you...Copy !req
1212. the invitation, it said,Copy !req
1213. - plus one, but it did not specify...
- Okay.Copy !req
1214. - Wait, look...
- If it could be a human orCopy !req
1215. if it could be werewolf or...Copy !req
1216. Yeah, but he could be
a vampire hunter for all we know.Copy !req
1217. He could texting his mates, saying,
'I've got them all under one placeCopy !req
1218. come on over.
We'll have a vampire barbecue!'Copy !req
1219. Well, he's not, he's not doing that.Copy !req
1220. How do we know that?Copy !req
1221. He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him!Copy !req
1222. Stu, tell them what you do.Copy !req
1223. Come on Stu!
Tell us what you do. Come on.Copy !req
1224. Tell them what you do, Stu.Copy !req
1225. - Hi, my name is Stu uh...
- Don't fuck it up, man.Copy !req
1226. - I can't hear Stu.
- Louder, louder!Copy !req
1227. Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in...Copy !req
1228. - I can't hear...
- Louder.Copy !req
1229. Stu can't hear, they cannot hear you.Copy !req
1230. Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst.
I work for a geographic information system company.Copy !req
1231. - Uh...
- Sorry, what is it?Copy !req
1232. I work for a company that doesCopy !req
1233. basically we take like
business requirements from organizations.Copy !req
1234. Then we analyze those requirements and
then we build softwareCopy !req
1235. to fit those requirements.Copy !req
1236. He is a virgin. He is a virgin!Copy !req
1237. - I can smell a virgin of a thousand paces.
- Go on then.Copy !req
1238. Take your thousand paces and smell yourselves!Copy !req
1239. I can't wait till you moan them.Copy !req
1240. There should be no eating of the human.Copy !req
1241. Who are you all of a sudden?Copy !req
1242. You have forgotten your former lover.Copy !req
1243. So quickly.Copy !req
1244. Georgie?Copy !req
1245. No, not...Copy !req
1246. Georgie, like, 5-years Saturday.Copy !req
1247. No.Copy !req
1248. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1249. Just one moment.Copy !req
1250. No...Copy !req
1251. No, I've got it, it's coming, take it away...Copy !req
1252. Hello Beast.Copy !req
1253. Hello asshole.Copy !req
1254. - Hey, don't call me asshole!
- Don't call me...Copy !req
1255. Beast. This is Vladislav. This is me ex-boyfriend.
- This is absolutely the same.Copy !req
1256. - You know, the one who fucked the police...
- Alright, that's old business, that's...Copy !req
1257. - ... personal business.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1258. - Nice to meet you asshole.
- This is my lover.Copy !req
1259. You will not feast on the blood
of the human known as Stu.Copy !req
1260. Listen asshole, this is a human andCopy !req
1261. this is the rules and
what is cameras doing here?Copy !req
1262. One, and then another one,
what is this?Copy !req
1263. They're making a documentary on...Copy !req
1264. This is a private secret society mate,Copy !req
1265. you don't go bringing your
bloody cameras into everything.Copy !req
1266. You will not eat Stu and
you will not eat the camera guy.Copy !req
1267. - Maybe one camera guy...
- I'm up to bloody here, with you at the moment.Copy !req
1268. And all your mates behind there,
whoever the hell they are.Copy !req
1269. We're gonna eat the human being.Copy !req
1270. And there's nothing you can do about it, alright?Copy !req
1271. Now back off!Copy !req
1272. And let my misses get her way.Copy !req
1273. Oh, there's nothing I can do about it?Copy !req
1274. - That's right.
- Well, what about this?Copy !req
1275. Diego, rip his head off.Copy !req
1276. What do you want?Copy !req
1277. Vampire fight!Copy !req
1278. Get him Vladislav!Copy !req
1279. Rip his head off!Copy !req
1280. He's killing him!Copy !req
1281. It is forbidden for vampires...Copy !req
1282. to kill a vampire.Copy !req
1283. - What the f...
- Medic!Copy !req
1284. What?Copy !req
1285. Are you okay, love?
Get out!Copy !req
1286. We should probably go Stu.Copy !req
1287. It was great to see you,Copy !req
1288. - Pauline.
- Asshole!Copy !req
1289. Perfect.Copy !req
1290. - That was very... how we both...
- He's a murderer!Copy !req
1291. We both, together,
equally destroyed that guy!Copy !req
1292. Yeah, but it was more Stu
with the giant stick!Copy !req
1293. I hope this doesn't make this awkward
for you and The Beast.Copy !req
1294. No, I think it's opened up new possibilities.Copy !req
1295. Oh, no.Copy !req
1296. Here we go again.Copy !req
1297. Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu!Copy !req
1298. Stu, Stu, STU!Copy !req
1299. Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu...Copy !req
1300. - Stuuu... Stuuu...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop!Copy !req
1301. Listen, listen!Copy !req
1302. You smell that?Copy !req
1303. This way.Copy !req
1304. Werewolves.Copy !req
1305. - Oh, no.
- Look what the cat dragged in, huh?Copy !req
1306. - Piss off.
- Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight.Copy !req
1307. There has been no hassle here.Copy !req
1308. Well, let it stay that way.Copy !req
1309. Keep chaining yourselves up!Copy !req
1310. Guys, where's your track suite pants?Copy !req
1311. It was washing night.Copy !req
1312. My misses couldn't wash them cause
there was too much blood on them.Copy !req
1313. When your legs expand they go into the track suit.Copy !req
1314. - Oh!
- Those jeans are gonna rip completely!Copy !req
1315. You've lost all those trousers, guys?Copy !req
1316. Declan, that tree's far too thin!Copy !req
1317. Look at it! It's like a branch!Copy !req
1318. You don't know how big you get
when you transform!Copy !req
1319. That's the wrong tree for you.Copy !req
1320. Anton, I've...Copy !req
1321. Oh, no, you've forgot the combination.Copy !req
1322. Why did you get a combination lock?Copy !req
1323. I lost my key last time.Copy !req
1324. Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros,
that's the factory setting, is it?Copy !req
1325. - Fuck off to a tree.
- Hey!Copy !req
1326. Werewolves, not swearwolves.Copy !req
1327. Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights,Copy !req
1328. it's alright, alright?
I'm getting stressed out.Copy !req
1329. I was just reminding you.Copy !req
1330. Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead!Copy !req
1331. Honestly, we're transforming.Copy !req
1332. Alright, we'll keep walking.Copy !req
1333. - Yeah, keep walking. By the way I find that offensive!
- We'll keep walking.Copy !req
1334. Is it fur?Copy !req
1335. Oh, for crying out loud.Copy !req
1336. Don't look at the fur everyone.
Get back to your trees, okay?Copy !req
1337. - That's disgusting, man.
- You're wearing fur.Copy !req
1338. Declan!Copy !req
1339. - That's not real fur.
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
1340. Honestly, get out of here.
Take your humans!Copy !req
1341. The guy in the bow-tie, he's gonna go first!Copy !req
1342. Get out of here!Copy !req
1343. Take all your coats off if you want to keep everyone!Copy !req
1344. Take that army service jacket off...Copy !req
1345. Get that camera out of my face!Copy !req
1346. Go, go! Let's go, let's go. Come on!Copy !req
1347. Run, Stu, RUN!Copy !req
1348. Let's go, let's go!Copy !req
1349. - They're coming, guys!
- Shit!Copy !req
1350. I got one!Copy !req
1351. My leg! My leg!Copy !req
1352. Oh, God!Copy !req
1353. Stu! Stu!Copy !req
1354. STU!Copy !req
1355. Stu!Copy !req
1356. Get off me!Copy !req
1357. Stu, are you alright?Copy !req
1358. Stu!Copy !req
1359. Stu!Copy !req
1360. Ah, fuck!Copy !req
1361. Fuck off!Copy !req
1362. Get off me!Copy !req
1363. You stinky piece of assholes!Copy !req
1364. Stupid werewolves!Copy !req
1365. Look away Nick!Copy !req
1366. Don't look at their blood!Copy !req
1367. Stu!Copy !req
1368. He's a really good dude!
Leave him alone!Copy !req
1369. It's too late for him!Copy !req
1370. - Don't look at the blood Nick!
- Stu!Copy !req
1371. There he is.Copy !req
1372. He's probably still a little upset
having seen hisCopy !req
1373. best friend disemboweled by werewolves.Copy !req
1374. Nick!Copy !req
1375. I found you.Copy !req
1376. Whoa!Copy !req
1377. That was pretty full on, heh?Copy !req
1378. But this is what happens
when you are a vampire.Copy !req
1379. You have to watch everyone die.Copy !req
1380. You're mother and father.Copy !req
1381. All your friends.Copy !req
1382. Sometimes brutal.Copy !req
1383. Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike.Copy !req
1384. Or falling asleep.Copy !req
1385. In an autumn pile of leaves,Copy !req
1386. and having some of them,
block your wind pipe.Copy !req
1387. Or making the simple mistake,Copy !req
1388. of fashioning a mask out of crackers,Copy !req
1389. and being attacked by ducks.Copy !req
1390. Geese.Copy !req
1391. Swans.Copy !req
1392. Or simply dieing of old age.Copy !req
1393. But even old age is brutal.Copy !req
1394. Watching your friends...Copy !req
1395. grow old.Copy !req
1396. They can't piss.Copy !req
1397. And they say stupid things and
their brains go and theyCopy !req
1398. can't remember anything.Copy !req
1399. And then, one day, they can't even
remember who you are.Copy !req
1400. And you wish they were dead.Copy !req
1401. And then they do die.Copy !req
1402. No.Copy !req
1403. If I know Stu...Copy !req
1404. this was probably the way he wanted to go.Copy !req
1405. Disemboweled by werewolves.Copy !req
1406. Blood and guts,Copy !req
1407. splat onto the trees.Copy !req
1408. His face torned to shreds.Copy !req
1409. I hope I made you feel better.Copy !req
1410. Ah, well, from what we
could see in the beginningCopy !req
1411. it looks like there's been
a bit of a dog attack.Copy !req
1412. That's really what happens,
when you get, you know...Copy !req
1413. dangerous dogs.Copy !req
1414. Um, straits, not being looked after.Copy !req
1415. This is not good.Copy !req
1416. No, not good at all.Copy !req
1417. There's nicer ways to go, then being...Copy !req
1418. torn apart, by what looks like a pack of dogs,
more than just one.Copy !req
1419. - I say so.
- These attacks have been happening more, more frequent.Copy !req
1420. They're happening on a monthly bases and
and it's just no good for anybody, okay?Copy !req
1421. Specially not the dogs.
Certainly not the community.Copy !req
1422. I've got the bastard.Copy !req
1423. One of them here, hey?Copy !req
1424. That's what I'm talking about.
Look at it.Copy !req
1425. End of the day,
this dog is gonna have to be put down.Copy !req
1426. What a shame.Copy !req
1427. Look what you did.Copy !req
1428. Hey?Copy !req
1429. He's got the scent again, hasn't he?
He wants to go again. He's not finished.Copy !req
1430. Yeah.Copy !req
1431. They say that vampires hearts are cold and dead.Copy !req
1432. Definitely dead.Copy !req
1433. - Bye Stu.
- He would have loved his scarf.Copy !req
1434. It was lovely, loose, knit.Copy !req
1435. But I don't know.
I think I still feel things inside it.Copy !req
1436. Deacon!Copy !req
1437. Deacon!Copy !req
1438. Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey!Copy !req
1439. You don't sleep in here.
The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning.Copy !req
1440. You want to get sizzled to a crisp.Copy !req
1441. You know, you could think
a little about these things.Copy !req
1442. Okay.Copy !req
1443. - Sorry Viago.
- It's okay.Copy !req
1444. - Night, night! Okay.Copy !req
1445. Received at 4:20 AM:Copy !req
1446. - Stu?
- Hey, Deacon.Copy !req
1447. - Stu!
- How is it?Copy !req
1448. Good to see you.Copy !req
1449. Look at his face!Copy !req
1450. I saw them tear you to shreds!Copy !req
1451. Look! He looks like Seal!Copy !req
1452. They didn't kill me.Copy !req
1453. - It looks cool.
- Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
1454. Meet some of our friends.Copy !req
1455. Anton, Deacon.Copy !req
1456. Hi, Anton.Copy !req
1457. I must have blacked out.Copy !req
1458. And then, I remember,Copy !req
1459. - an ambulance.
- He's going into shock.Copy !req
1460. O'Leary. O'Leary!Copy !req
1461. Yeah, coming!Copy !req
1462. - Okay, calm down, mate.
- Calm down.Copy !req
1463. Looks like rabies, doesn't it?Copy !req
1464. And I don't know how long after that was,
but like, woke up.Copy !req
1465. And it was daytime.Copy !req
1466. And I couldn't find my clothes.Copy !req
1467. Those werewolves guys...Copy !req
1468. eventually found me.Copy !req
1469. And they had some,Copy !req
1470. they like, lent me some pants.Copy !req
1471. So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me.Copy !req
1472. Cause I was quite confused.Copy !req
1473. Yeah, these are the guys who, um,Copy !req
1474. turned me into a werewolf.Copy !req
1475. You knit your own jersey?Copy !req
1476. - Yes.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1477. - I knit.
- Is that the moon, or?Copy !req
1478. - Yes.
- Hopefully, we won't, you know...Copy !req
1479. Ah, this is a nice place.Copy !req
1480. Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or...Copy !req
1481. pee on anything.Copy !req
1482. We were worried at first, you know, we thoughtCopy !req
1483. 'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.'Copy !req
1484. But they actually are really polite and pretty clean.Copy !req
1485. There was obviously that werewolves smell,Copy !req
1486. which permeated the entire house
for the first half an hour.Copy !req
1487. But we opened some windows and
got rid of that.Copy !req
1488. 'What a stupid suggestion, their idea,' I thought.Copy !req
1489. No way.Copy !req
1490. You know, walking into the vampire's den.
That's ludicrous.Copy !req
1491. That's my hand.Copy !req
1492. But I thought, we'll give it a shot.Copy !req
1493. You know, I'm the alpha male,
so I made the call.Copy !req
1494. I'm the alpha male.Copy !req
1495. - Yes.
- So, generally...Copy !req
1496. all of the other guys follow me.Copy !req
1497. - For Stu!
- For STU!Copy !req
1498. Thanks guys.Copy !req
1499. What have you done to your face?Copy !req
1500. I got attacked by some werewolves.Copy !req
1501. Army is a werewolf.
Seemed like a very nice person.Copy !req
1502. So, Katherine is a vampire now.Copy !req
1503. - Yes.
- We decide to get together.Copy !req
1504. We just thought, the hell with it, you know.Copy !req
1505. What have we got to lose?Copy !req
1506. I was just sitting, doing nothing,Copy !req
1507. and he came floating in and over to me,Copy !req
1508. and I recognized him.
It was wonderful.Copy !req
1509. And then I bit you on the neck.Copy !req
1510. That's right.Copy !req
1511. And I don't mind being a vampire.Copy !req
1512. I'm enjoying it.Copy !req
1513. Some people freak out a bit
about the age difference.Copy !req
1514. Uh, they think,
'what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy,Copy !req
1515. for times her age.'Copy !req
1516. - And, you know, I don't care...
- It doesn't make any difference.Copy !req
1517. No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares.Copy !req
1518. I decided to bite her and
we're gonna be together forever.Copy !req
1519. - Wonderful.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1520. Pauline and I are tentatively back together.Copy !req
1521. But it's not long before
you remember why it was weCopy !req
1522. broke up in the first place.Copy !req
1523. We start in our bedroom,Copy !req
1524. and I need that totally boarded up or
blacked out somehow.Copy !req
1525. My husband is my familiar.Copy !req
1526. So, there has been a dynamic shift there.Copy !req
1527. You could buy a Bedazzler.
So you write that down. That's B-E-D...Copy !req
1528. I feel like I'm where I need to be now.Copy !req
1529. - I love you.
- I love you too.Copy !req
1530. Great.Copy !req
1531. But I am your Master.Copy !req
1532. - Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1533. Yeah, these guys have to laugh
at my jokes, right guys?Copy !req
1534. Yeah!Copy !req
1535. That is a good one.Copy !req
1536. I always look round to
make sure they're all laughing.Copy !req
1537. Like, if I see one of them is not
quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!'Copy !req
1538. 'You laughing?',
and often I'll test you.Copy !req
1539. - What are you laughing at, Justin?Copy !req
1540. - Hey?
- What are you laughing at now?Copy !req
1541. - Just then?
- Yeah, yeah, but what?Copy !req
1542. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
1543. Ah, test failed! Test failed!Copy !req
1544. You're laughing now.
What are you laughing at now though?Copy !req
1545. I don't know cause...Copy !req
1546. Ah, another failure!Copy !req
1547. Well, what are you laughing at Stu?Copy !req
1548. Oh, I was laughing with the group.Copy !req
1549. Yep, that's good. That's good, yeah.Copy !req
1550. Just pay attention. Pay attention.Copy !req
1551. Laugh with the group.Copy !req
1552. You will not remember the last hour and a half,Copy !req
1553. of what you have just seen.Copy !req
1554. You will forget...Copy !req
1555. the contents of this movie.Copy !req