1. So, we meet
in a train station.
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2. Jack.
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3. You know anything about birds, Jack?
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4. Why do you ask?
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5. It's just a simple question.
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6. Don't worry.
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7. I've heard the phrase,
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8. "Birds of a feather flock together."
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9. Yes.
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10. A perceived fundamental.
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11. There are, of course, exceptions.
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12. You've been seen with birds.
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13. Farm birds.
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14. For a while, I lived near a farm.
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15. Look at me!
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16. Are my pupils dilated?
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17. You're avoiding the question.
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18. Listen to me.
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19. If my train was on time,
I wouldn't even be here now.
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20. Now, you listen.
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21. You've been seen with chickens,
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22. associating with chickens.
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23. But you said...
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24. I know what I said.
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25. You are a strong-arm man?
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26. You could say that.
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27. I just did.
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28. Well, there is no Santa Claus.
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29. I won't be here for Christmas.
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30. But the ladies have been talking, Jack.
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31. What?
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32. Right. With the Easter Bunny, I suppose.
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33. Is that what you want me to believe?
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34. You'll not get a free lunch around here.
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35. I read the papers.
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36. Tell me about Toototabon.
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37. You can burn in hell.
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38. Don't you ever wonder about anything?
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39. The wonder was in my heart,
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40. but you wouldn't understand
something like that.
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41. There's an elephant in the room.
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42. I'd like you to start talking turkey.
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43. I ordered coffee about a half hour ago.
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44. Do you play for keeps?
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45. Is there any other way?
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46. All right, two coffees.
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47. Keep the change.
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48. Aw, thanks, hotshot.
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49. Sorry it took so long.
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50. All the outgoing trains are stopped.
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51. The place is crawling
with hungry passengers and cops.
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52. It seems there's a murderer on the loose.
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53. Cops?
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54. Are you now or have you ever been
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55. a card-carrying member
of the Communist Party?
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56. Let me tell you a story.
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57. My father was a pipefitter
for the DeWitt family.
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58. I'm not shitting you.
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59. I would've laid my life on the line
for any chicken
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60. or rooster.
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61. You ever ride the rodeo?
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62. Who told you that? Sally?
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63. I'm a plastic bag specialist.
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64. Is that so?
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65. A jack of many trades.
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66. You ever do farm work?
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67. There you go again.
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68. You'd toss an animal up on a roof
just to see the look on its face.
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69. My place was raided,
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70. set to fire.
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71. I'm lucky to have my life,
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72. let alone the hair on my body.
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73. Are you going to drink your coffee?
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74. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
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75. They found feathers.
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76. Bullshit.
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77. Are you calling me a liar?
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78. I know why the chicken crossed the road.
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79. This conversation just came
to a screeching halt.
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80. Be a man, Jack, and tell me about her.
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81. Go climb a tree.
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82. Getting nervous?
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83. What?
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84. You think you just rolled a seven?
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85. Maybe.
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86. Well, think again.
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87. I used to hang out with clowns like you.
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88. Where, in Bristol?
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89. Never mention that place to me again.
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90. Don't you have any sense of decency?
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91. You were wrong, you know.
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92. No one was with her that night.
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93. She was all alone, waiting for you.
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94. You were so sure she was with someone
that you never showed.
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95. Don't you know that she cried
all night long over you?
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96. Right or wrong, she loved you.
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97. You're brewing a poisonous batch.
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98. This thing is bigger than both of us.
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99. I'm telling you how it was for real.
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100. Think back.
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101. You have no proof Max left the club.
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102. Don't need proof.
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103. I have the police report.
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104. No matter. I saw it all in her eyes.
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105. So you admit it.
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106. You saw her that night.
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107. I saw her from the window when
she leaned out to see him get his tab.
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108. I saw Max.
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109. And that's when you shot him.
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110. Prove it.
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111. We have Sally.
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112. Who's gonna believe an orangutan?
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113. Maybe a jury, big boy.
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114. I'll see you and raise you five.
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115. I don't bluff.
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116. Yeah, and you don't smoke.
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117. Takes two to tango, Jack.
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118. Oh, so now we're dancing.
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119. The party is over, cowboy,
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120. and everyone's gone home.
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121. The musicians are packing up,
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122. and the janitor is standing by
with his whore named Sally.
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123. Did anyone ever question him?
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124. His name is Shelby Tidsworth.
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125. Shelby was banging Sally
like there was no tomorrow
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126. and yesterday was gone.
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127. And he had his eye on Toototabon.
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128. I don't own a gun.
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129. I have a Buck knife which I only use
going into the wild.
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130. I once sliced a gator
that was going after a rabbit friend.
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131. There was blood everywhere.
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132. Before that mess,
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133. I'd only seen a red rabbit in a dream.
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134. The janitor, huh?
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135. Am I all alone here?
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136. Yeah.
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137. Shelby.
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138. Suffers from advanced stages of gonorrhea.
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139. His left arm weighs 75 pounds.
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140. He could have shot Max that night.
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141. Okay, let's go back to the beginning.
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142. Life in those times was hard.
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143. Hard enough to crack a coconut.
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144. For argument's sake,
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145. let's say I was a horse.
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146. Even so, it'd be hard to imagine
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147. how hard my first wife rode my ass.
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148. I'm a small man,
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149. and not necessarily of what you could call
good health.
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150. But I took it from her for six long years.
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151. Finally some banshee killed her
out in the bush.
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152. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
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153. The freedom I felt was extraordinary.
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154. That's when I met Toototabon...
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155. and fell head over heels.
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156. Looking back,
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157. she really was my first love.
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158. Real love, it was.
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159. They say real love is a banana,
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160. sweet with a golden hue.
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161. Yes...
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162. Toototabon was a hen.
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163. A chicken.
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164. I'd never been with a chicken before.
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165. In my mind's eye, I can still see her.
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166. What happened, Jack?
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167. I don't know.
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168. It's all like a crazy nightmare to me now.
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169. But let me tell you,
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170. you get your hands
up under those feathers
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171. and feel those full breasts...
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172. There's nothing like it in this world.
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173. She was the love of my life.
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174. I'm not shitting you.
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175. She and I lit the flame of love.
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176. Toototabon!
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177. Toototabon!
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178. My love! My love!
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179. Get him, boys.
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180. Hands up against the wall, Jack.
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181. You're under arrest
for the murder of Max Clegg.
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182. Cuff him, boys, and take him in.
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183. Toototabon!
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184. Toototabon!
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