1. Life is like a parody
of your favorite song.Copy !req
2. Just when you think
you know all the words,Copy !req
3. surprise, you don't know anything.Copy !req
4. Clear the way, clear the way!Copy !req
5. - Clear!
- Shut that door, please!Copy !req
6. Clear!Copy !req
7. Dammit. Dammit!Copy !req
8. All right, nurse, let's call it.Copy !req
9. 7:30...Copy !req
10. Quick!Copy !req
11. I need some paper,
and a number two pencil.Copy !req
12. But... maybe
I'm getting a little ahead of myself.Copy !req
13. Why don't we start
back at the beginning.Copy !req
14. All gabardine suits are now 30% off.Copy !req
15. Jenkins in to the windup,Copy !req
16. and the three-two fastball is in the...Copy !req
17. President Nixon is on board Air...Copy !req
18. Whoo-whoo-whoo wind up your radio!Copy !req
19. It's time for The Dr. Demento Show,Copy !req
20. two hours of mad music
and crazy comedyCopy !req
21. - from out of the archives...
- Alfy!Copy !req
22. What have we told you
about listening to that garbage?Copy !req
23. But Mom, it's Dr. Demento.
It's my favorite show in the whole world.Copy !req
24. It's going to rot your brain.Copy !req
25. You're lucky your father
wasn't here to catch you, mister.Copy !req
26. You know how he feels
about that kind of music.Copy !req
27. Yes, I know.Copy !req
28. All right. Now go on, go get washed up.Copy !req
29. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.Copy !req
30. Alfy, aren't you going to ask
your father how his day was?Copy !req
31. Um, how was your day, Dad?Copy !req
32. What, how was my day?Copy !req
33. We had another fatality
down at the factory.Copy !req
34. Oh, God, real grisly one this time.Copy !req
35. It was that McKinley kid
that started last week.Copy !req
36. I kept telling him
to stop messing aroundCopy !req
37. by that industrial shredder,
but he just wouldn't listen.Copy !req
38. I would've reached
out and grabbed him,Copy !req
39. but I already lost one hand
to that cursed machine.Copy !req
40. Well, anyway, there's an opening
down on the factory floor.Copy !req
41. Maybe I could pull a few stringsCopy !req
42. and you could spend the summer
working with your old man.Copy !req
43. How's that sound?Copy !req
44. Um, no, thank you.Copy !req
45. "No, thank you."Copy !req
46. Well, you're gonna have to learn
sooner or later,Copy !req
47. that factory, that factory
will make a man outta you.Copy !req
48. But I don't wanna work at the factory.
I wanna make songs.Copy !req
49. What? You wanna make songs?
Did you hear that, Mary?Copy !req
50. We got a regular Bing Crosby
on our hands, don't we?Copy !req
51. Nick, you're embarrassing him.Copy !req
52. Oh, am I? Why don't you
sing us a little ditty, Bing, huh?Copy !req
53. Such a little songbird.
Sing one for us.Copy !req
54. Stop, stop! What in God's name
are you doing?Copy !req
55. Those aren't the right words.Copy !req
56. I know. I made 'em better.Copy !req
57. By changing the lyrics
to a well-known song?Copy !req
58. No, boy, what you're doing
is confusing and evil.Copy !req
59. My God, and I will not haveCopy !req
60. that kind of blasphemy
in my own home.Copy !req
61. But Dad...Copy !req
62. What has gotten
into you, Alfred?Copy !req
63. Hmm? With the songs and
the crazy magazines?Copy !req
64. That is all gonna stop now,
young man!Copy !req
65. Honey, I know it's hard to hear this,Copy !req
66. but your dad and I had a long talkCopy !req
67. and we agreed it would be best
for all of usCopy !req
68. if you would just stop being who you are
and doing the things you love.Copy !req
69. You don't understand me!Copy !req
70. It was a few weeks laterCopy !req
71. when a mysterious stranger
showed up at my doorCopy !req
72. and changed my life forever.Copy !req
73. Alfy, get the door.Copy !req
74. Why, good afternoon, sir.
The gentleman of the house, I take it?Copy !req
75. Well, congratulations.
Today is your lucky day.Copy !req
76. How would you like to be
the envy of all of your friendsCopy !req
77. and the most popular fellow in town?Copy !req
78. Well, everything you
need to make that happen...Copy !req
79. is right here in this box.Copy !req
80. Um, my dad is actually...Copy !req
81. Voila.Copy !req
82. Feast your eyes.Copy !req
83. Have you ever seen
such a gorgeous instrument?Copy !req
84. Better yet, try it on.Copy !req
85. Son, when you play the accordion,
you are a one-man band.Copy !req
86. You are the life of every party.Copy !req
87. Go ahead, son, tickle those ivories.Copy !req
88. A natural talent.Copy !req
89. Son, you cannot squander that.Copy !req
90. You have got to buy this beauty,
and I guarantee it,Copy !req
91. you are gonna have girls
lined up around the corner.Copy !req
92. You're gonna need a lifeguardCopy !req
93. because you're gonna be drowningCopy !req
94. - in so much p...
- Hey! What's going on?Copy !req
95. And hello to you, sir.Copy !req
96. What are you doing in my house?Copy !req
97. And why is my innocent young child
wearing that devil's squeeze box?Copy !req
98. That's actually our newest...Copy !req
99. I thought I told you to shut up!Copy !req
100. I don't remember you telling me
to shut up before,Copy !req
101. but if you're telling me now,
I will gladly...Copy !req
102. Dad!Copy !req
103. Ah!Copy !req
104. Dad, stop! You're killing him!Copy !req
105. Nick? Oh, Nick, oh, Nick!Copy !req
106. No, Nick! Hey!
Nicky, stop it right now!Copy !req
107. You made me do this, boy.Copy !req
108. You brought this evil into the house.
And now look at you.Copy !req
109. Look at you.Copy !req
110. Take that devilish monstrosity off
this very instant.Copy !req
111. I don't wanna see you
ever wearing it again!Copy !req
112. Nick, why don't you go
take a little walk?Copy !req
113. I think you'd better cool off.Copy !req
114. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
115. I could use some fresh air
because it stinks in here.Copy !req
116. I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.Copy !req
117. I'll be right here.Copy !req
118. Mister, I'm so sorry about this.Copy !req
119. My husband, he just has
a little bit of a temper,Copy !req
120. but he is a good man and
he means well, but anyway,Copy !req
121. if you're amenable to it,Copy !req
122. we'd like to buy that accordion.Copy !req
123. Mom! You mean it?Copy !req
124. How do you feel about
an early Christmas present?Copy !req
125. Yes! This is the best thing ever!
Thank you so much!Copy !req
126. There's just one thing.Copy !req
127. No one can see you playing it,
especially your father.Copy !req
128. This is our secret.
Do you understand me?Copy !req
129. Mom... does Dad hate me?Copy !req
130. No, of course not, sweetie.Copy !req
131. Then why is he always
so hard on me?Copy !req
132. Listen, you're too young
to understand now,Copy !req
133. but just trust me,
your father has his reasons.Copy !req
134. I think I have
a collapsed lung.Copy !req
135. We're trying to have
a conversation here, sir.Copy !req
136. For the next few years
I kept to myself,Copy !req
137. and tried my best
to please Mom and Dad,Copy !req
138. but deep down,
I felt like I was living a lie.Copy !req
139. Sure. I was well-behaved,
I got good grades,Copy !req
140. but I never let anyone know
the real me.Copy !req
141. Hey, Yankovic, you going to that party
at Hofstadter's tonight?Copy !req
142. - His parents are out of town.
- Ah, geez, guys, I don't know.Copy !req
143. I'm not really allowed to go to parties.Copy !req
144. You don't need to have
your parents' permission. Just sneak out.Copy !req
145. I-I don't think I can.Copy !req
146. My mom always tucks me in
in case I have night terrors.Copy !req
147. You have night terrors?Copy !req
148. No, I... You know, just in case.Copy !req
149. Well, just use a hay boy, then.Copy !req
150. A hay boy? What's that?Copy !req
151. You don't know what a hay boy is?Copy !req
152. Oh, dude, you've got a lot to learn.Copy !req
153. Just let us handle everything.
We'll pick you up tonight.Copy !req
154. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
155. Night-night, Alfy. Don't let the bed bugs
give you night terrors.Copy !req
156. I mean, Myron Floren is great and all,
Lawrence Welk sure likes him,Copy !req
157. but he's way too overexposed.Copy !req
158. For my money,
it's Whoopee John WilfahrtCopy !req
159. that really gets me just
hoppin' and steppin'.Copy !req
160. I'm all about that Minnesota sound, man.Copy !req
161. Look what I found!Copy !req
162. Hey, hey! Hey, you didn't tell me
that this was gonna be a polka party.Copy !req
163. - What, do you not like polka?
- No, I like it, it's...Copy !req
164. My parents would kill me
if they knew I was here, okay?Copy !req
165. I'm so, so sorry, guys. I-I-I gotta go.
I can't... I can't be here, man.Copy !req
166. Come on, Al. Live a little!
What's the worse that could happen?Copy !req
167. You might actually let your guard down
and enjoy your life for once?Copy !req
168. Yeah, yeah, I can...
let my guard down.Copy !req
169. Hey... and sorry.Copy !req
170. Hey, everybody, look what I found!Copy !req
171. Dude, pass it here. Pass it.Copy !req
172. Okay, dude. Okay.Copy !req
173. Al, here. You gotta try this.Copy !req
174. Oh, no. No, no, thanks. I'm good.Copy !req
175. Al's afraid his mommy and daddyCopy !req
176. are gonna find out
he tried an accordion.Copy !req
177. I just don't wanna play, okay?
Just, just lay off me, man!Copy !req
178. No, guys...Copy !req
179. I'm not gonna...Copy !req
180. I'm not... I'm not... I'm not...Copy !req
181. Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll play, yeah.Copy !req
182. It's the cops! Everyone, run!Copy !req
183. I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am,Copy !req
184. but I'm afraid we found your son
at a polka party.Copy !req
185. He was playing an accordion.Copy !req
186. That's impossible. Alfy's in...Copy !req
187. A hay boy? Really?Copy !req
188. What did I do to deserve this,
huh? Huh?Copy !req
189. It's like I don't even
know you anymore, Al.Copy !req
190. You want me to be like you.
Look at me, I'm nothing like you.Copy !req
191. You want me to work that factory.Copy !req
192. Okay, I don't even know
what you make down there.Copy !req
193. You just call it the factory.Copy !req
194. You will find out what we make
at the factoryCopy !req
195. when you work at the factory!Copy !req
196. Well, it's my life,
and I wanna make musicCopy !req
197. and I wanna play the accordion.Copy !req
198. Ah, hogwash!Copy !req
199. And I'm good. I'm really, really good!Copy !req
200. How did you get good
at playing the accordion, huh? Huh?Copy !req
201. It certainly wasn't
under my roof, was it?Copy !req
202. What'd you do, sneak out
and practice in the woodsCopy !req
203. in the middle of the night?Copy !req
204. No. I played it here, quietly.Copy !req
205. Yeah, I play in the closet.Copy !req
206. But I'm not a closet accordion player
anymore.Copy !req
207. It feels good!Copy !req
208. The closet, you say?Copy !req
209. Hmm...Copy !req
210. No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Dad.Copy !req
211. No-no-no. You're not going...
It's not in there.Copy !req
212. You're not gonna find anything in there.Copy !req
213. Dad, what are you doing?
No, no, Dad... No-no-no-no...Copy !req
214. Dad, no. Dad, please.Copy !req
215. - Uh-huh?
- Stop, stop.Copy !req
216. - Boy.
- Stop. Stop it.Copy !req
217. - Boy, this...
- Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no!Copy !req
218. This is for your own good, boy.Copy !req
219. No, I need this, I need this...Copy !req
220. Nooo!Copy !req
221. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
222. You... You think you're gonna stop me
from playing?Copy !req
223. You'll see.
One day I'm gonna be the best...Copy !req
224. Well, perhaps not technically the best,Copy !req
225. but arguably the most
famous accordion playerCopy !req
226. in an extremely specific genre of music.Copy !req
227. I'll show you.Copy !req
228. I'll show everybody!Copy !req
229. Get out!Copy !req
230. Good riddance!Copy !req
231. Things at home
never got any better after that.Copy !req
232. But within a few years, I graduatedCopy !req
233. and I was able to move out
and live on my own.Copy !req
234. Well, with three other guys
in a dirt-cheap apartment,Copy !req
235. but the point is, I didn't
have to answer to anybody.Copy !req
236. - Hey, hey.
- Howdy.Copy !req
237. Now I'd have a chance
to find othersCopy !req
238. who would truly understand me.Copy !req
239. I could find my people.Copy !req
240. - Okay, that's enough. Thanks.
- Mm.Copy !req
241. Yeah. Very... very interesting.Copy !req
242. So... we'll let you know, okay?Copy !req
243. Great. Um, when?Copy !req
244. Right now. You didn't make it.Copy !req
245. This sucks.Copy !req
246. It's the fifth audition
I've been kicked out of this week.Copy !req
247. It's almost like nobody wants
an accordion player in their band.Copy !req
248. That just doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
249. Yeah. Accordions are cool.Copy !req
250. That's the problem
with being on the bleeding edge.Copy !req
251. You gotta wait for the rest of the world
to catch up with you.Copy !req
252. I don't have time to wait.Copy !req
253. If nobody wants to have me
in their group,Copy !req
254. I'm just gonna have
to go it in on my own.Copy !req
255. Don't worry,
it's gonna happen for you.Copy !req
256. You just gotta hang in there.
We got your back.Copy !req
257. Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys.
You've just been so great.Copy !req
258. You really get me.Copy !req
259. It is such a difference after living
with my folks for so long.Copy !req
260. Yeah. And you know, the best part
of moving away from homeCopy !req
261. is you can do anything you want.
Hook up with girls...Copy !req
262. Get high all the time.Copy !req
263. Yeah, I mean, literally anything.
There are no rules.Copy !req
264. Just last night, I was drivingCopy !req
265. down the wrong side of the 101
with my eyes closed,Copy !req
266. not knowing whether I was
gonna live to see another dayCopy !req
267. or die in a horrible, fiery wreck.Copy !req
268. Suck on that, Mom and Dad.Copy !req
269. - Yeah. You get it, Steve.
- You go, Steve.Copy !req
270. Oh, wow, Steve.Copy !req
271. What about you, Al?Copy !req
272. What's something you always
wanted to do,Copy !req
273. but you were never allowed to?Copy !req
274. Make up new words
to a song that already exists.Copy !req
275. - Oh, well, you should do that, then.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
276. Yeah. Why don't you do it right now?
Go on. Make up something brilliant.Copy !req
277. No, guys, it's not that easy.
I gotta wait for inspiration to strike,Copy !req
278. and I'm pretty sure that well dried up
a long time ago.Copy !req
279. Oh, well, if you're not
gonna write us a song,Copy !req
280. why don't you make us
some sandwiches?Copy !req
281. Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving.Copy !req
282. Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich!Copy !req
283. Okay, okay, okay. Guys, I'm on it.
Jim, you wanna put on some tunes?Copy !req
284. Yeah.Copy !req
285. Oh, Steve?
This bologna has your name on it.Copy !req
286. - Can we?
- Uh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
287. Just open up a package of my bologna.Copy !req
288. Is this DJ asleep?
The record keeps skipping.Copy !req
289. Hey! Wake up.Copy !req
290. Al?Copy !req
291. You okay?Copy !req
292. Where did that come from?Copy !req
293. Dude, I've got chills.Copy !req
294. I don't know, it just came out of me.Copy !req
295. I've never heard anything like that
before in my life.Copy !req
296. You have to record that.Copy !req
297. Record it? No, come on, guys.Copy !req
298. Al, you've got something here.Copy !req
299. I don't know if it comes
from God or the devil,Copy !req
300. but the world needs to hear it.Copy !req
301. No, forget it, guys. I don't have
the money for a recording studio.Copy !req
302. I think the bathroom at the bus station
has pretty good acoustics.Copy !req
303. Yeah, sounds good in here.Copy !req
304. You can put it right there,
that works.Copy !req
305. All right. Just mailed the tape off
to Captain Buffoon.Copy !req
306. Now, I guess, all I gotta do
is sit back and wait to become famous.Copy !req
307. Yeah, I don't think
that's quite how it works, Al.Copy !req
308. Nobody becomes famous overnight.
That's a myth.Copy !req
309. Sometimes it takes years,
decades of hard work to get noticed.Copy !req
310. - What?
- Look, I believe in you.Copy !req
311. I know it's gonna
happen for you someday,Copy !req
312. but you can't just mail your
tape off to some disc jockeyCopy !req
313. and expect to instantly become
a sensation.Copy !req
314. Man, why can't I catch a break?Copy !req
315. Captain Buffoon on your radio dial.Copy !req
316. No, I'm not making this up...Copy !req
317. I just received this tape
in the mail a few minutes ago,Copy !req
318. and what can I say?
It's an instant sensation!Copy !req
319. It's already the number one
most-requested song of the week,Copy !req
320. and we're playing it all day long.Copy !req
321. So, here it is, once again,
Al Yankovic with "My Bologna!"Copy !req
322. Again!Copy !req
323. You know what this means, right?Copy !req
324. You gotta get yourself a record deal.Copy !req
325. I've heard enough.Copy !req
326. And what did you think?Copy !req
327. Do you know why they call it
the "music business"?Copy !req
328. Uh, why?Copy !req
329. Because it's a business.Copy !req
330. It's a business!Copy !req
331. Use your head, kid.Copy !req
332. Nobody wants to hear
a parody songCopy !req
333. when they can hear the real thing
for the same price.Copy !req
334. What's the point?Copy !req
335. Yeah, it makes
no financial sense, whatsoever.Copy !req
336. Uh, my-my-my song was actuallyCopy !req
337. a-a big hit on
The Captain Buffoon Show.Copy !req
338. - Oh!
- What?Copy !req
339. Captain Buffoon? Really?Copy !req
340. - Yeah.
- Wait, wait.Copy !req
341. Captain Buffoon actually
played your song on the radio?Copy !req
342. Yeah.Copy !req
343. Why didn't you tell us?
This changes everything.Copy !req
344. Ben, get this young gentleman
a record contract this very instant.Copy !req
345. We are gonna sign him
to a 14-album deal.Copy !req
346. Wait, really?Copy !req
347. No! What do you think I am,
an idiot?Copy !req
348. - He's not an idiot!
- I'm not an idiot!Copy !req
349. - If I may interject here.
- Please.Copy !req
350. Look, I'd just like to sayCopy !req
351. that you got some nerve
coming in hereCopy !req
352. and wasting my time and
my brother Tony's time.Copy !req
353. I'm gonna remember your name
because you, Al Yankovic,Copy !req
354. are the most untalented, pathetic loserCopy !req
355. that I've ever met in my entire life.Copy !req
356. Okay, um, maybe...Copy !req
357. You're nothing but a hack,
a stupid, useless parasite,Copy !req
358. - and you're so ugly.
- Okay...Copy !req
359. That ridiculous hair,
that horrible mustache,Copy !req
360. stupid glasses.Copy !req
361. You make me wanna throw up!Copy !req
362. All right, thank you.
Thank you, Ben.Copy !req
363. Thank you, Ben, for your,
for your thoughts.Copy !req
364. - Thank you.
- Jeez.Copy !req
365. - Ugh.
- Look, kid,Copy !req
366. if you really have your heart set
on doing this stupid music,Copy !req
367. maybe write more than one song.Copy !req
368. Yeah, all the biggest musical acts
have more than one song in their catalog.Copy !req
369. That's very true.Copy !req
370. And also, get out
in front of a live audience.Copy !req
371. Any audience, any stage,Copy !req
372. just get out there, build up your chops,
and who knows?Copy !req
373. Maybe someday... we'll talk again.Copy !req
374. But don't count on it
because you truly suck.Copy !req
375. Right.Copy !req
376. Okay.Copy !req
377. Thank you! We are Skunk Barf!Copy !req
378. You guys suck!Copy !req
379. I can't do this. I can't do this.Copy !req
380. Just relax, you'll be great.Copy !req
381. Yeah, the new song's a bona fide hit.Copy !req
382. It's about ice cream!Copy !req
383. Everybody likes ice cream.Copy !req
384. This seems like more of
a whiskey and... heroin crowd.Copy !req
385. Look, guys, I appreciate you being here
for moral support and everything,Copy !req
386. but they are literally gonna kill me.
We need to leave right now.Copy !req
387. Don't be silly, man.
They're gonna love you.Copy !req
388. All right, we got, uh, most of the bloodCopy !req
389. cleaned off the stage,
so you're on, now.Copy !req
390. - Go start the car.
- Nah, you got this, Al.Copy !req
391. This is your moment.
Go get 'em, champ.Copy !req
392. Go get 'em.Copy !req
393. All right, all right,
who's ready for some more music?Copy !req
394. Okay, uh, coming next to the stage,Copy !req
395. it's this guy's first time,
Al Yankovic.Copy !req
396. Hey.Copy !req
397. Sorry.Copy !req
398. Sorry.Copy !req
399. Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt, Trapper John!Copy !req
400. Um...Copy !req
401. Boo!Copy !req
402. This guy needs some help.Copy !req
403. Gimme a shot of tequila
and two scoops of rum raisin.Copy !req
404. We don't sell ice cream here.Copy !req
405. You better start selling it
before this song's overCopy !req
406. or you're gonna have a riot
on your hands.Copy !req
407. Why didn't you guys tell me
you could play? You're great.Copy !req
408. I guess it didn't seem relevant 'til now.Copy !req
409. Thank you!Copy !req
410. Oh, hey.Copy !req
411. Oh! You're Dr. Demento.Copy !req
412. Oh, wow. I, I am such a huge fan.
I can't believe this.Copy !req
413. I've been listening to your show
my entire life.Copy !req
414. Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio...Copy !req
415. - Don't do that.
- Sorry.Copy !req
416. Um, did you see the show?Copy !req
417. I did. And let me
tell you something, kid.Copy !req
418. Every once in a great while,
I can spot a talentCopy !req
419. that I know is headed
straight to the top.Copy !req
420. Nervous Norvus,Copy !req
421. Wild Man Fischer,Copy !req
422. and now... you.Copy !req
423. What I saw you do on that stage
tonight blew my mind!Copy !req
424. I'm telling you, you've cracked the code.
You're onto something special.Copy !req
425. Wow, I mean, you, you,
you have no ideaCopy !req
426. what it means
for me to hear you say that.Copy !req
427. - Thank you so much.
- Oh...Copy !req
428. I only wish the Scotti Brothers
felt the same way.Copy !req
429. Ah, those suits.
They couldn't recognize real talentCopy !req
430. if it slapped them in the face
with a dead fish.Copy !req
431. But I might be able to
get them to notice you.Copy !req
432. How?Copy !req
433. Well, stick with me, huh?Copy !req
434. I know a little something
about the biz.Copy !req
435. Uh, wait, are-are you saying
you want to be my mentor?Copy !req
436. No, I'm saying I want to be your...
de-mentor!Copy !req
437. But first, we gotta find you
a stage name.Copy !req
438. I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech.Copy !req
439. Doesn't exactly trip off
the tongue now, does it?Copy !req
440. I guess not.Copy !req
441. It's so clunky. It's long.
It's ungainly. It's hard to pronounce.Copy !req
442. Sorry.Copy !req
443. Now, I'm just gonna throw this out there.Copy !req
444. Would you be willing
to change your name to...Copy !req
445. Weird... Al Yankovic?Copy !req
446. I love it.Copy !req
447. Great. Great!Copy !req
448. Hey, I'm having a little pool party
at the house this weekend.Copy !req
449. I'd love to introduce
you to some folks.Copy !req
450. What do you say you come on by,Copy !req
451. we'll continue this conversation
at the grotto.Copy !req
452. Yes, of course!Copy !req
453. Mm-hmm. And don't forget to stay demented!Copy !req
454. You got it.Copy !req
455. H-H-Hey!
There he is, my newest superstar.Copy !req
456. Ah, so glad you could make it.Copy !req
457. I've been telling everyone about you,Copy !req
458. and, uh, looks like you've
brought your band.Copy !req
459. Okay, fine.Copy !req
460. Uh, there's some canapés right
over there, gentlemen.Copy !req
461. Help yourselves. So,
let me show you around, okay?Copy !req
462. Everyone's dying to meet you.
Oh, right this way.Copy !req
463. - Uh, Mr. Herman.
- Hello.Copy !req
464. I'd like you to meet
"Weird Al" Yankovic.Copy !req
465. Ah, a rising star.Copy !req
466. Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
467. And this is, of course, Tiny Tim.Copy !req
468. Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
Oh, why, you're just the cat's pajamas.Copy !req
469. Is that a good thing?Copy !req
470. Sure.Copy !req
471. Ah, excuse us, gentlemen.Copy !req
472. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
473. So that's Demento's new protégé.Copy !req
474. You know, I hear they don't even hand out
raincoats and tarps at his shows.Copy !req
475. Amateur hour.Copy !req
476. Amateur hour.Copy !req
477. - Well, hello, Dali.
- Andy.Copy !req
478. What do you think of
this "Weird Al" Yankovic?Copy !req
479. Dali predicts he will change
everything we know about art!Copy !req
480. Weird Al will change the world!Copy !req
481. Eh, I give him 15 minutes.Copy !req
482. Well, well, well, if it isn't Dr. Demento.Copy !req
483. Wolf man Jack.
Who let you in here?Copy !req
484. The Wolf man goes where
the Wolf man wants, baby.Copy !req
485. Security!Copy !req
486. Relax. I just came by
to lay eyes on this catCopy !req
487. you've been paradin' around.Copy !req
488. The one who takes
preexisting musical compositionsCopy !req
489. and completely changes the lyrics.Copy !req
490. He has a name, you know.
And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic.Copy !req
491. Well then, put 'er there, Weird Al.Copy !req
492. Oooh! Too slow.Copy !req
493. What is the meaning of this?Copy !req
494. This is me telling you
that I know hit talentCopy !req
495. when I see it, and this kid ain't it.Copy !req
496. He'll never crack the top 40,
he's too niche.Copy !req
497. This kid, as you call him,
is the future of music.Copy !req
498. Right. Well, if he's so great,
how about he comes upCopy !req
499. with a new parody song
right now on the spot?Copy !req
500. - Ooh...
- Whoa.Copy !req
501. I mean, come on, man. It's a party.
I don't know that's a good idea.Copy !req
502. Do "Another One Bites the Dust."Copy !req
503. That seems fitting,
who said that?Copy !req
504. I did. I'm John Deacon...Copy !req
505. of Queen.Copy !req
506. I play the bass in Queen.Copy !req
507. Oh...Copy !req
508. All right, future boy.Copy !req
509. Let's hear what you can do
with "Another One Bites the Dust."Copy !req
510. We're waiting.Copy !req
511. You don't have to
prove anything to him.Copy !req
512. Come on, guy from Queen.Copy !req
513. Let's go find a party
with some real talent.Copy !req
514. Get me my accordion.Copy !req
515. Hey, you like deviled eggs?Copy !req
516. I love a good deviled egg.
They don't love me, though.Copy !req
517. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
518. That was the...Copy !req
519. That was the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard in my entire life.Copy !req
520. You truly have a rare gift, Weird Al.Copy !req
521. Hey mate, we're playing
a little gig next weekCopy !req
522. called Live Aid,
Wembley Stadium.Copy !req
523. I'd be honored if you
would join the bandCopy !req
524. and play that song on stage with us.Copy !req
525. What do you say?Copy !req
526. Hard pass!Copy !req
527. - This guy?
- Get him, get him out of here!Copy !req
528. I felt like
I was on top of the world,Copy !req
529. but this was just the beginning.Copy !req
530. "Weird Al" Yankovic is
one of the most excitingCopy !req
531. new artists in pop music today.Copy !req
532. His self-titled debut albumCopy !req
533. was just certified quintuple platinum.Copy !req
534. Simply by taking well-known pop songsCopy !req
535. and changing the lyrics,Copy !req
536. Yankovic has taken the world by storm.Copy !req
537. I have never seen a collection
of Hawaiian shirts like this.Copy !req
538. Oh, well, thank you, Oprah!Copy !req
539. He has the number one album
in 20 countriesCopy !req
540. and counts among his fans
such luminaries as...Copy !req
541. Hey, turn this up.Copy !req
542. President Ronald Reagan
and Pope John Paul II.Copy !req
543. Even international drug lord
Pablo EscobarCopy !req
544. calls Weird Al his favorite musician.Copy !req
545. And what about this,
this necklace you're wearing?Copy !req
546. Oh, these, yeah.Copy !req
547. I, uh, I wear one
solid platinum record medallionCopy !req
548. for each time my album went platinum.Copy !req
549. So that's one, two, three, four, five.Copy !req
550. Wow. Those look heavy.Copy !req
551. They are super uncomfortable.Copy !req
552. And it's not
just the record companyCopy !req
553. that's cashing in on Weird Al fever.Copy !req
554. The artists he's parodying
are experiencing a phenomenonCopy !req
555. that's being called the Yankovic Bump.Copy !req
556. The Knack, Joan Jett
and even QueenCopy !req
557. have seen their
album sales doubleCopy !req
558. after Weird Al put
his unique spin on their songs.Copy !req
559. Which begs the question,
who will be next?Copy !req
560. Who indeed?Copy !req
561. Al, you really do seem to have
the Midas touch.Copy !req
562. I've never seen anything like it
in all my years.Copy !req
563. Your parents must be proud.Copy !req
564. Yeah. Yeah, my parents...Copy !req
565. Is everything okay?Copy !req
566. Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course.Copy !req
567. Yeah, whose, whose parents
wouldn't be proud?Copy !req
568. Exactly.Copy !req
569. Al? Al?Copy !req
570. Hello?Copy !req
571. - Hey, Mom. It's me.
- Alfy?Copy !req
572. It's been a long time, hasn't it?Copy !req
573. We saw you on the TV.Copy !req
574. It's crazy, right?Copy !req
575. Yeah, who would've thought?Copy !req
576. I'm actually gearing up
for a residency right nowCopy !req
577. at Madison Square Garden.Copy !req
578. Sold out 25 nights in a row.Copy !req
579. They're, uh, they're moving the KnicksCopy !req
580. to a hockey rink in Jersey
for a month.Copy !req
581. - Huh.
- Yep.Copy !req
582. Yep. I'm living the dream.Copy !req
583. I mean, to have 20,000 people
every nightCopy !req
584. singing along to my wordsCopy !req
585. to other people's music.Copy !req
586. I feel truly alive
when I'm on that stage.Copy !req
587. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
588. Are you eating enough bran?Copy !req
589. - What?
- Well, it's important.Copy !req
590. It keeps you regular
and you know how you getCopy !req
591. when you're not having
your regular BMs, Alfy.Copy !req
592. I... Yeah, sure.Copy !req
593. Good. That's good.Copy !req
594. So, um, so how's Dad?Copy !req
595. Gosh, your father's a complicated man.Copy !req
596. Does he ever talk about me?Copy !req
597. Oh, sure, all the time. Yes.Copy !req
598. There's so many things
that he wants to tell you,Copy !req
599. but it's just difficult for him.Copy !req
600. Well, like what?Copy !req
601. You know, what does
he want to tell me?Copy !req
602. Well, mostly he just
wants to let you know thatCopy !req
603. he's definitely not proud of you.Copy !req
604. What?Copy !req
605. Yes. He told me to be crystal clear
about that.Copy !req
606. Also, he still thinks that parody songs
are stupidCopy !req
607. and I don't have to tell youCopy !req
608. how he feels about the accordion, do I?Copy !req
609. Okay. Well, Mom,
I actually have to go now.Copy !req
610. You know, he just never
really wanted to have kids.Copy !req
611. Okay. Well, great talking to you.Copy !req
612. Listen, if you do wanna get
that job down at the factory,Copy !req
613. I'm sure your father can
pull a few strings for you.Copy !req
614. All right. Take care now, bye-bye.Copy !req
615. - Love you, Alfy!
- Yep!Copy !req
616. Oh, tough call with the folks, huh?Copy !req
617. You know, I can fire up the downstairs
hot tub for you if you'd like.Copy !req
618. Oh, no, no, this is fine. I don't want to
put you through any trouble.Copy !req
619. I... It's really no trouble.Copy !req
620. I mean, there are actually
three other JacuzzisCopy !req
621. in the house that are
not here in my bedroom.Copy !req
622. Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but really, I'm good.Copy !req
623. You, on the other hand,
you don't seem so good.Copy !req
624. Do you wanna talk about it?Copy !req
625. It's just, my whole life,Copy !req
626. all I've wanted is for my
father to accept me for who I am.Copy !req
627. And I thought if I became
this huge success,Copy !req
628. that that would change things, but...Copy !req
629. Mm.Copy !req
630. But he still hates everything about me.Copy !req
631. You know, maybe he's right.
Maybe parody songs are stupid.Copy !req
632. Look, you don't have to
write parody songsCopy !req
633. if you don't want to.Copy !req
634. What?Copy !req
635. You look a little hungry.
Here, have a snack.Copy !req
636. You can write your own songs.Copy !req
637. You think I took
you under my wingCopy !req
638. because you write parody songs?Copy !req
639. No, I saw in you a visionary,Copy !req
640. an artist who has
something to give to the world.Copy !req
641. I saw in you something special,Copy !req
642. something your father doesn't seeCopy !req
643. and that even you don't see...Copy !req
644. yet.Copy !req
645. This guacamole tastes funny.Copy !req
646. Of course it does.
It's loaded with LSD.Copy !req
647. What?Copy !req
648. No!Copy !req
649. You need to open your heart
and your mind,Copy !req
650. face your fears,
break your chains,Copy !req
651. come with me on a spiritual journey.Copy !req
652. Find your source of inspiration!Copy !req
653. No, that-that is totally not cool, man.
You can't just...Copy !req
654. Whoa, no, what is happening
to your head?Copy !req
655. That's probably the drugs kicking in.Copy !req
656. Just relax and enjoy the ride.Copy !req
657. It'll be over in like, 10 to 12 hours.Copy !req
658. 12 hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
659. I'm just gonna close my eyes
and when I open them up again,Copy !req
660. everything is gonna
be completely back to...Copy !req
661. What in God's name
are you doing, boy?Copy !req
662. Those aren't the right words!Copy !req
663. Please, just stop being who you are
and doing the things you love.Copy !req
664. You, Al Yankovic,
are the most untalented,Copy !req
665. pathetic loser I've ever
met in my entire life!Copy !req
666. No, no, no, stop it.
Leave me alone!Copy !req
667. Alfred Yankovic, this is your time.Copy !req
668. Believe in yourself,
and the song will come to you.Copy !req
669. Don't listen to him, boy!Copy !req
670. You belong with me, at the factory!Copy !req
671. It's your destiny!Copy !req
672. Aah! No!Copy !req
673. Aah! No!Copy !req
674. He's losing his power
over you, keep going!Copy !req
675. I can't!Copy !req
676. Maybe you should try
a little Cap'n Crunch.Copy !req
677. What?Copy !req
678. Raisin Bran, perhaps?Copy !req
679. No, no! I don't want no Cap'n Crunch!Copy !req
680. Don't want no Raisin Bran!Copy !req
681. Eat it, just eat it.Copy !req
682. I don't understand!Copy !req
683. Don't you make me repeat it.Copy !req
684. What's happening to me?Copy !req
685. Now you must die in order to be reborn.Copy !req
686. No, no! No!Copy !req
687. Put it in.Copy !req
688. I've heard enough.Copy !req
689. It's brilliant.Copy !req
690. Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't recognize the tune.Copy !req
691. What song are you parodying here?Copy !req
692. I'm not parodying anything.Copy !req
693. This song is completely original.Copy !req
694. Wait, you wrote the words
and the music?Copy !req
695. That's right.Copy !req
696. Okay, just to be perfectly clear,Copy !req
697. so you're saying this is not a parody
of an existing song,Copy !req
698. but an entirely original composition
that you wrote all by yourself?Copy !req
699. Yes.Copy !req
700. Not based on anybody else's song
in any way?Copy !req
701. Did I stutter?Copy !req
702. I'm tired of people thinking
I'm some kind of joke, okay?Copy !req
703. I am done writing parody songs. Done.Copy !req
704. From now on, I am only gonna do
completely original music.Copy !req
705. Oh, Al, you can't smoke in here.Copy !req
706. I totally deserved that.Copy !req
707. Well, I am blown away.
This is a bold new direction.Copy !req
708. I mean, the parody songs were fine,Copy !req
709. but you've completely
changed the game here.Copy !req
710. This is gonna be your biggest hit yet.Copy !req
711. Okay, okay! Hold your horses!Copy !req
712. "Weird Al" Yankovic.Copy !req
713. Um, do I know you?Copy !req
714. Madonna. Ring any bells?Copy !req
715. Oh, right. Madonna.Copy !req
716. Yeah, "Lucky Star,"
"Holiday,"Borderline."Copy !req
717. Born in Michigan, Catholic schoolgirl,Copy !req
718. dropped outta college
and moved to New York CityCopy !req
719. with nothing but the clothes
on your backCopy !req
720. and $35 in your pocket.Copy !req
721. Maybe it was to become
the Queen of Pop.Copy !req
722. Maybe it was to get back at Dad
for marrying the housekeeper.Copy !req
723. Wow.Copy !req
724. You know a lot more about me
than you let on.Copy !req
725. What can I say?
I'm full of surprises.Copy !req
726. So, what brings you here, Madonna?Copy !req
727. Oh, I was in the neighborhood.Copy !req
728. Wanted to see if my map to
the stars' homes was accurate.Copy !req
729. Guess you won't need a refund then.Copy !req
730. Is that, uh, all you wanted?Copy !req
731. No, I want a lot of things,Copy !req
732. but the truth is,
I'm a big fan of yours.Copy !req
733. Join the club.Copy !req
734. Have you heard my new
single, "Like a Virgin?"Copy !req
735. Oh, I've heard it.Copy !req
736. And I'm curious,
is that song autobiographical?Copy !req
737. Yes. I technically am a virgin,Copy !req
738. except for the fact
that I've had a lot of sex.Copy !req
739. I mean, a lot.Copy !req
740. I see.Copy !req
741. Anyway, I was wonderingCopy !req
742. if you were going to
do a parody of my song.Copy !req
743. Maybe.Copy !req
744. I like that.Copy !req
745. So, would you like to see
the rest of the house?Copy !req
746. There's only one room
I'm interested in seeing.Copy !req
747. Oh, I'm doing some
work on the bathroom,Copy !req
748. but there's another one downstairs.Copy !req
749. Oh, I'm not talking about the bathroom.Copy !req
750. Then let me show you
to the laundry room.Copy !req
751. Al Yankovic,
are you playing with me?Copy !req
752. Yes?Copy !req
753. Oh, you're so weird.Copy !req
754. So, are we like, boyfriend
and girlfriend now?Copy !req
755. Maybe.Copy !req
756. Well, now that things are official,Copy !req
757. I should really be honest with you.Copy !req
758. When I said I might parody
one of your songs, I lied.Copy !req
759. So, it's true, what they're saying.
You're not doing parodies anymore.Copy !req
760. My song "Eat It," which, as you know,
is a hundred percent original,Copy !req
761. is the biggest hit by anybody ever.Copy !req
762. So, I've decided that's all
I wanna do from now on.Copy !req
763. Completely original songs.Copy !req
764. See, that's what I love about you.Copy !req
765. You know what you want and
you know how to get it.Copy !req
766. Just like me.Copy !req
767. How about that?
And I've got some amazing news.Copy !req
768. I've officially gotten the word
that we have brokenCopy !req
769. the Beatles' record for most singles
in the Billboard Top 10.Copy !req
770. Oh.Copy !req
771. Yeah, cool.Copy !req
772. Uh, okay.Copy !req
773. Well, um, we have some very
exciting offers pouring inCopy !req
774. that I would love to...Copy !req
775. - That...
- Oh, that feels good.Copy !req
776. love to discuss with...Copy !req
777. Love to discuss with you.Copy !req
778. We got some, some great calls.Copy !req
779. Uh, very interesting.Copy !req
780. Led Zeppelin, uh, is thinking about
getting back together,Copy !req
781. but they say the only
way they'll do itCopy !req
782. is if they can open
up for you on tour.Copy !req
783. I mean, that's sweet, but yeah.Copy !req
784. I already offered the gig
to Howie Mandel, so.Copy !req
785. Okay, yeah. But this is perhaps...Copy !req
786. Look, I am not bumping
Mandel for Zeppelin, okay? Pass.Copy !req
787. Okay. Got it.Copy !req
788. Uh, well, we have another offer,
a very serious offer.Copy !req
789. This is to replace Roger Moore
in the James Bond franchise.Copy !req
790. - Now this one...
- No!Copy !req
791. No, no, no, I'm not gonna
be the new James Bond.Copy !req
792. I'm not gonna be
the new Indiana Jones.Copy !req
793. From now on, everything I do
has to be completely original.Copy !req
794. How many times have
I gotta say that?Copy !req
795. Look, Mr. Pimento,
we have places to be.Copy !req
796. How long is this gonna take?Copy !req
797. Not much longer.Copy !req
798. We got another offer
for you to playCopy !req
799. Pablo Escobar's 40th birthday party.Copy !req
800. I saw him on the news.
He's a really big deal.Copy !req
801. The drug lord?
Why is he so obsessed with me?Copy !req
802. And he has upped his offer
to three billion pesos.Copy !req
803. I mean, okay, how much is
that in American money?Copy !req
804. You know what, never mind,
I don't feel like doing the math.Copy !req
805. Well, I've done the math
and I can assure you...Copy !req
806. Bup-bup-bup! I can do my own math,
and I said, I don't want to. Pass.Copy !req
807. Alfy, are you chewing my gum?Copy !req
808. I don't know. Maybe.Copy !req
809. You wanna come get it?Copy !req
810. You, you don't think
things are movingCopy !req
811. too fast with us, do you?Copy !req
812. Baby, don't be silly.
We're soulmates.Copy !req
813. This is true love.
When you know, you know.Copy !req
814. You're so right.Copy !req
815. This has been the happiest
six hours of my life.Copy !req
816. Mr. Yankovic, you have a phone call
at the host stand.Copy !req
817. Excuse me, my love.Copy !req
818. This better be good.Copy !req
819. Well...Copy !req
820. What's going on, Tony?Copy !req
821. Okay, um, I-I thought you should
hear it from me first.Copy !req
822. Michael Jackson just released
a new single called "Beat It."Copy !req
823. It's, um...Copy !req
824. Well, it's-it's a parody of "Eat It."Copy !req
825. You mean the kid from the Jackson Five?Copy !req
826. Why is that has-been trying
to ride my coattails?Copy !req
827. He actually has
a pretty successful solo career now.Copy !req
828. Whatever! You're telling meCopy !req
829. Michael Jackson recorded
a parody of my song?Copy !req
830. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Same music, different words.Copy !req
831. What kinda sick freak
changes the wordsCopy !req
832. to someone else's song?Copy !req
833. "Beat It," huh?Copy !req
834. Wait, so it's about eggs?Copy !req
835. No, no, it's, uh, I don't
think it's even about food.Copy !req
836. It's about fighting or...Copy !req
837. trying to avoid a fight?
I'm not exactly sure...Copy !req
838. What gives him the right?
Can he even do this?Copy !req
839. I think you're overreacting
just a little, okay?Copy !req
840. I mean, this could be great publicity.
Sell a few more albums.Copy !req
841. No, I don't need to
sell more albums, Tony!Copy !req
842. I need people to start taking me seriously
as an artist that creates original music.Copy !req
843. Now some idiots
will probably get confusedCopy !req
844. and think "Beat It" came first!Copy !req
845. Nobody's gonna think that.Copy !req
846. This is a disaster,
for the rest of my life now,Copy !req
847. I'm gonna be linked to
this Michael Jackson guy.Copy !req
848. And why would that be so bad?Copy !req
849. You know, maybe it's a good thing.
I-I think it's an honor.Copy !req
850. Michael's one of the biggest stars
in the world.Copy !req
851. Everything okay?Copy !req
852. Everything's pretty freaking not okay.Copy !req
853. I finally created something of my ownCopy !req
854. and now people are just gonna think
I'm ripping off Michael Jackson.Copy !req
855. Your fillet?Copy !req
856. I think I lost my appetite.Copy !req
857. Babe, you seem stressed.
You should have a drink.Copy !req
858. I don't really drink.Copy !req
859. If there's one thing I've learned in life,
the only thing that can clear your headCopy !req
860. and make you feel better is
hard alcohol, and lots of it.Copy !req
861. Well, you know me better than anyone.Copy !req
862. I trust you.Copy !req
863. He'll have a whiskey, neat.Copy !req
864. You know what? Maybe you should bring
the whole bottle.Copy !req
865. I know, right?Copy !req
866. Hey, hey. The king is here!
Let's get this party started.Copy !req
867. Dude, soundcheck was supposed to start
like three hours ago.Copy !req
868. Well, I wasn't here three hours ago,
so we're starting now.Copy !req
869. Al, are you drunk?Copy !req
870. - I'm not drunk, you're all drunk.
- No, this is pointless.Copy !req
871. Hey, man, why don't you
just get out of here?Copy !req
872. I need to get out of here?
You need to get out of here!Copy !req
873. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Guys, guys!Copy !req
874. Al, look, it's the first show
of the tour tonight.Copy !req
875. It's kind of a big deal.Copy !req
876. Do you think you could maybe
not screw this up for everybody?Copy !req
877. Oh, what-what-what are you gonna do,
fire me?Copy !req
878. You guys are nothing without me.Copy !req
879. Yeah, I could replace
you with a drum machineCopy !req
880. and you with a guitar machineCopy !req
881. and you with a, I don't know,
with some other machine.Copy !req
882. You're all just a bunch of normals, okay,Copy !req
883. I'm the weird one!
I am the weird one!Copy !req
884. Okay. That's it.Copy !req
885. You've changed, man.Copy !req
886. Fame's really gotten to you.Copy !req
887. Wow.Copy !req
888. Look, just get yourself cleaned up
for the show tonight, all right?Copy !req
889. - You're a mess.
- Yeah.Copy !req
890. They seem nice.Copy !req
891. Yeah, they're great.Copy !req
892. - Al?
- Oh, what do you want?Copy !req
893. Can I talk to you for a minute?Copy !req
894. Privately?Copy !req
895. Look, anything you wanna say to me,
you can say in front of my girlfriend.Copy !req
896. Okay, fine.Copy !req
897. I think Madonna's a bad influence on you.Copy !req
898. I think she's an evil, conniving succubusCopy !req
899. and she's only using you
for her pathetic and selfish needs.Copy !req
900. - What?
- No offense.Copy !req
901. She only wants you for that
sweet, sweet Yankovic Bump.Copy !req
902. She knows her record salesCopy !req
903. will go through the roof
if you parody her.Copy !req
904. How dare you.Copy !req
905. This woman is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.Copy !req
906. And besides, I already told her
I'm not doing any more, um...Copy !req
907. Any more...
The thing you said.Copy !req
908. - Song parodies.
- Song parodies!Copy !req
909. You're so drunk right now,Copy !req
910. I bet you couldn't even
give her that Yankovic Bump.Copy !req
911. That's not true!Copy !req
912. That's not true, I'll come up with
that song parody right now.Copy !req
913. Instead of "Like a Virgin,"
it'll be "Like a..."Copy !req
914. Like a...Copy !req
915. Like a...Copy !req
916. Shut up, it's impossible!
Nothing rhymes with virgin.Copy !req
917. Al, listen.Copy !req
918. You gotta take care of yourself.Copy !req
919. When she's done with you,
she's gonna drop youCopy !req
920. like a sack of spoiled cabbage.Copy !req
921. No, no, shut up, shut up!
You're not my dad.Copy !req
922. You think you're my dad,
but you are not my dad.Copy !req
923. Baby? Baby, where are you going?Copy !req
924. I'm goin' for a drive to clear my mind,
on my own.Copy !req
925. No, no, no, no, no. You cannot go.Copy !req
926. Without your car keys.Copy !req
927. Thank you so much.Copy !req
928. Well, we can't wait.Copy !req
929. Weird Al hits the stage
at Joe Robbie StadiumCopy !req
930. tonight at eight o'clock,
and it's gonna be off the chain.Copy !req
931. One for the history...Copy !req
932. Well, that was
multi-platinum recording artistCopy !req
933. "Weird Al" Yankovic with
"I Love Rocky Road," and my god,Copy !req
934. have you ever seen
a more durable pop artist?Copy !req
935. Anything you throw at this guy,Copy !req
936. he just seems capable of surviving it.Copy !req
937. I'll bet he could land a plane
into a volcanoCopy !req
938. and still come out...Copy !req
939. Dammit.Copy !req
940. All right, nurse, let's call it.Copy !req
941. 7:30...Copy !req
942. Quick!Copy !req
943. I need some paper and
a number two pencil.Copy !req
944. Here you go, baby.Copy !req
945. Excuse me, miss, he's
in no condition to be doing...Copy !req
946. Look, there's no time, okay?
He's got a show in 30 minutes.Copy !req
947. All right.Copy !req
948. Better give me all your gauze, nurse.Copy !req
949. Yes!Copy !req
950. This is all for you, babe.
I love you so much.Copy !req
951. I think I should have stuck around
for that blood transfusion though,Copy !req
952. - I think I'm gonna pass out.
- No, babe, you're killing it.Copy !req
953. - Now get back out there.
- Okay.Copy !req
954. Okay, babe, you have a costume change,
one more songCopy !req
955. and then we can go home
and sleep it off.Copy !req
956. Okay.Copy !req
957. No, no, no, no. What-what is that?
I'm not wearing that.Copy !req
958. - It's your "Eat It" jacket, babe.
- No, not anymore, it's not.Copy !req
959. That is a Michael Jackson jacket now.
I don't wanna see it.Copy !req
960. Get that outta my face.Copy !req
961. You don't have to wear it
if you don't want to.Copy !req
962. Now just drink up.
Yeah, that's good, yeah.Copy !req
963. Little more, little more.
That's the medicine.Copy !req
964. Boo, boo, boo, boo!Copy !req
965. Yeah, that's what you sound like.
Boo!Copy !req
966. Oh, what? You want,
do you wanna hear "Eat It?"Copy !req
967. Do you?Copy !req
968. Okay, here goes.Copy !req
969. You're all a bunch of slaves!Copy !req
970. You're morons.Copy !req
971. Idiots!Copy !req
972. Oh, what, what, you paid good money
to see a show?Copy !req
973. You worked your little butts off
at some dangerous factory?Copy !req
974. God only knows what they make there!Copy !req
975. No one will tell you that.Copy !req
976. What do they make in the factory?Copy !req
977. What do they make?Copy !req
978. Do you like getting pushed around?Copy !req
979. You like letting everybody
push you around?Copy !req
980. Yeah, I think you do.
I think you like it.Copy !req
981. You like letting your dad
push you around?Copy !req
982. No!Copy !req
983. You like letting Michael Jackson
push you around?Copy !req
984. No!Copy !req
985. Well, what are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
986. What are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
987. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
988. So... you wanna see it?Copy !req
989. Do you want me to show it to you?Copy !req
990. I'm gonna whip it out!Copy !req
991. You don't think I'll do it, do you?Copy !req
992. I haven't whipped it out yet
but I'm gonna do it for you,Copy !req
993. but only if you really want me to.Copy !req
994. Okay, here goes!Copy !req
995. Yeah!Copy !req
996. Get off me! Get off me!Copy !req
997. We're sorry to interruptCopy !req
998. the President's address,
but we have breaking news.Copy !req
999. Parody songsmith "Weird Al" Yankovic
was arrested earlier tonightCopy !req
1000. in Miami-Dade County
for lewd behavior.Copy !req
1001. Okay. Here's my thought.Copy !req
1002. I think this is a really great idea,
I hope you like it.Copy !req
1003. We team up, right?Copy !req
1004. I'll write all the, you know,
good songs, the real ones,Copy !req
1005. and then you parody them every time.
Bam, bam. It's perfect.Copy !req
1006. Sounds great.Copy !req
1007. It's foolproof, we'll be unstoppable.Copy !req
1008. We'll be the hottest power couple
in the entire music industry.Copy !req
1009. What would our power couple name be?Copy !req
1010. I'm thinking Madankovic
or MadonnavicCopy !req
1011. or maybe just Madonna.Copy !req
1012. There'll be plenty of time
to figure all of that out.Copy !req
1013. But can you imagine the world tour?Copy !req
1014. Madonna... with Weird Al.Copy !req
1015. All that money?
I just got the tingles.Copy !req
1016. But I mean, you're okay
with all of this, right?Copy !req
1017. Look, babe, I'm...Copy !req
1018. I'm seriously okay
with anything you wanna do.Copy !req
1019. I mean, look at me. I'm a train wreck.Copy !req
1020. I'm barely holding it together.Copy !req
1021. My parents wrote me off.Copy !req
1022. I pushed away my band, Dr. Demento,Copy !req
1023. everyone who was important to me.Copy !req
1024. You're all I got.Copy !req
1025. You are literally the only thing
I have left in the world,Copy !req
1026. and if anything happened to you,
I don't know what I would do.Copy !req
1027. No, no! No!Copy !req
1028. Relax, Mr. Yankovic.Copy !req
1029. We only wanna borrow your girlfriend.Copy !req
1030. Just stay calm and
nothing will happen to you.Copy !req
1031. Please, sir, please.
Whatever you do...Copy !req
1032. Don't hurt me.Copy !req
1033. - Help me!
- Madonna!Copy !req
1034. Hiya!Copy !req
1035. Die, die!Copy !req
1036. Order up.Copy !req
1037. Pablo Escobar sends his regards!Copy !req
1038. Pablo Escobar, you just made
the biggest mistake of your life.Copy !req
1039. This'll do.Copy !req
1040. So, then I'm stomping on him and
stomping him with my boots,Copy !req
1041. and he's calling for
his mom and I'm like,Copy !req
1042. "Stop being so extra."
You know, it's like...Copy !req
1043. Oh, my goodness! Ha ha!
That better not be vanilla.Copy !req
1044. Who was it?Copy !req
1045. - No, who was it?
- Escobar!Copy !req
1046. Oh, Mr. Yankovic.Copy !req
1047. We've been expecting you.
Welcome, welcome.Copy !req
1048. As you know, I am a huge,
huge fan of your music.Copy !req
1049. I got all of your albums
through the Columbia House Record Club.Copy !req
1050. Twelve for one penny, you guys.
Really great deal.Copy !req
1051. Really great deal.Copy !req
1052. Anyway, I... Oops.
I hope you will forgive meCopy !req
1053. for kidnapping your lovely girlfriend.Copy !req
1054. It just seemed like
that was the only wayCopy !req
1055. to guarantee that you would
come to my birthday party.Copy !req
1056. Your agent, oy, a real nightmare
to deal with, if I'm gonna be honest.Copy !req
1057. Real vicious guy.Copy !req
1058. You know, I'm sorry.
Let me turn down the music please.Copy !req
1059. Just a little annoying, yeah.Copy !req
1060. I can hear myself think now.Copy !req
1061. It's so noisy up in there.
Aah, the voices.Copy !req
1062. Oh. Oh, where are my manners?Copy !req
1063. We were just about to cut the cake.
May I offer you a slice?Copy !req
1064. Let's get him a slice, please.Copy !req
1065. No. No cake.Copy !req
1066. Okay, Mr. Diet.Copy !req
1067. More for us, am I right?Copy !req
1068. I just want my woman, then I'll go.Copy !req
1069. Ah, you want your woman. Okay.Copy !req
1070. I'm afraid that's
not how it works, Mr. Yankovic.Copy !req
1071. You see, you can't leave until you
perform for me.Copy !req
1072. - Do you understand me?
- No dice.Copy !req
1073. Not gonna happen.
I'm not your monkey.Copy !req
1074. - I can do "Borderline."
- No, I don't want that. I want him.Copy !req
1075. Mr. Yankovic, why-why all the drama?Copy !req
1076. I mean, you're already here.Copy !req
1077. Just perform one measly song for us
and then you guys can leave.Copy !req
1078. Come on, just one song, no?Copy !req
1079. How about that wonderfulCopy !req
1080. Michael Jackson parody
that you did, huh?Copy !req
1081. That's not a parody!Copy !req
1082. Stop! Stop! It's my birthday.
Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
1083. Well, first off, rude. Okay?
And second of all,Copy !req
1084. if you really, really don't wanna
entertain us, then fine.Copy !req
1085. You can just leave.Copy !req
1086. Wait, so, so we can just go?Copy !req
1087. Yeah, you can go whenever you want.Copy !req
1088. Psych!Copy !req
1089. No!Copy !req
1090. Very unfortunate.Copy !req
1091. He was like a god among men,
and now just worm food.Copy !req
1092. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Anyway, back to the party.
Should we cut the cake or...?Copy !req
1093. Hey, Pablo, you forgot one thing.Copy !req
1094. I'm certified platinum.Copy !req
1095. Hey, Escobar.Copy !req
1096. Eat it.Copy !req
1097. Okay, let's get outta here.Copy !req
1098. I just gotta get this medallion.Copy !req
1099. Okay.
Oh, it's in there. Ah.Copy !req
1100. Oh, gross, gross, gross,
gross, gross!Copy !req
1101. You just killed Pablo Escobar!Copy !req
1102. I know! I've killed so many people
this week.Copy !req
1103. Before last Thursday,
I never really killed anyone.Copy !req
1104. The things we do for love, huh?
Okay, come on. We gotta go.Copy !req
1105. Well, now, wait, wait, wait,
hear me out here.Copy !req
1106. With Escobar out of the picture, maybe...Copy !req
1107. maybe we can run the drug cartel.Copy !req
1108. Wait, what?Copy !req
1109. Supply and demand, baby.Copy !req
1110. Look, someone's gotta run the cartel.
May as well be me. Us.Copy !req
1111. You can't be serious.
What about all our plans?Copy !req
1112. Writing songs together, touring together.Copy !req
1113. Why rule the music industry
when you can rule the world?Copy !req
1114. All the money and power is right here.Copy !req
1115. Madonna, that's...Copy !req
1116. No. No way.Copy !req
1117. My life is in America, and my
family would never forgive meCopy !req
1118. if I became involved in a drug cartel.Copy !req
1119. Well, your family's
already disowned you, Al.Copy !req
1120. I'm all you've got, remember?Copy !req
1121. And we'll still be together.
I'll be the head of the cartel...Copy !req
1122. and you can be my number two.Copy !req
1123. Your number two.Copy !req
1124. I can't believe this.
Dr. Demento was right.Copy !req
1125. You were just using me to further
your own career, weren't you?Copy !req
1126. Well... yeah.Copy !req
1127. My relationship with you
was a business decision...Copy !req
1128. and so is this.
It's all just business.Copy !req
1129. Wow.Copy !req
1130. Well, okay then.Copy !req
1131. I guess... I guess that's it.Copy !req
1132. Have a nice life.Copy !req
1133. Whoa!Copy !req
1134. I can't let you leave, Al.
You know too much.Copy !req
1135. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1136. Stop that!Copy !req
1137. We could have made
such a beautiful team,Copy !req
1138. and you know what?Copy !req
1139. I decided I do like Weirdonna
better than Madonnavic.Copy !req
1140. But that's all over now.Copy !req
1141. Our partnership is officially dissolved.Copy !req
1142. Goodbye, Madonna.Copy !req
1143. Yeah. I had
a lot of soul searching to do.Copy !req
1144. Was I a parody singer?
An original artist?Copy !req
1145. The most dangerous
assassin in the world?Copy !req
1146. Maybe I had lost my way.Copy !req
1147. Don't get me wrong,
there were thingsCopy !req
1148. I loved about being Weird Al.Copy !req
1149. The fame, the money,Copy !req
1150. the fancy dinners,
joining the Illuminati,Copy !req
1151. going to the Illuminati
holiday party,Copy !req
1152. learning the truth about
the moon landing and JFK.Copy !req
1153. But without my family,
none of that mattered.Copy !req
1154. I knew what I had to do.Copy !req
1155. There it is, pretty simple.Copy !req
1156. When the light turns green,
you turn this crank to the left.Copy !req
1157. When it turns red, you stop
and pull this lever down.Copy !req
1158. When it turns green again,
you push this lever upCopy !req
1159. and turn this crank back to the right.Copy !req
1160. Yep, that's about it. Lunch is at 12:30.Copy !req
1161. Hey, can I ask you a question?Copy !req
1162. Sure.Copy !req
1163. What do we make here?Copy !req
1164. Your old man
said you was funny.Copy !req
1165. That's a good one.
"What do we make here?"Copy !req
1166. Somebody help! My leg!Copy !req
1167. Oh, uh...Copy !req
1168. It's burning me! Oh, my leg!Copy !req
1169. Ahh! Ahh! It burns!Copy !req
1170. Hey.Copy !req
1171. Cleanup crew to the control room.Copy !req
1172. You got a minute?Copy !req
1173. Well, what?Copy !req
1174. You want to take a swing, old man?Copy !req
1175. No.Copy !req
1176. Just... what are you doing here?Copy !req
1177. What am I doing here? Really?Copy !req
1178. All my life, all I wanted to do
is please you,Copy !req
1179. but I was never enough.Copy !req
1180. You were always disappointed
in your weird son.Copy !req
1181. So yeah, I gave up
the most successful careerCopy !req
1182. in music history to come work
at this miserable factoryCopy !req
1183. because it's what
you've always wantedCopy !req
1184. and what, it is still
not enough for you?Copy !req
1185. I appreciate what you're doing.Copy !req
1186. This isn't the life for you.Copy !req
1187. Oh, what? So I'm not even
good at turning cranks now.Copy !req
1188. No, Alfred, that's
not what I'm saying.Copy !req
1189. What are you saying, then?Copy !req
1190. I was wrong to stand in your way.Copy !req
1191. This isn't what you were meant for.Copy !req
1192. You're special.Copy !req
1193. You're Weird Al, and you're my son.Copy !req
1194. And I'm, uh...Copy !req
1195. I'm proud of you.Copy !req
1196. What are you doing?Copy !req
1197. Dad!Copy !req
1198. Yeah, that's an absolute classic.Copy !req
1199. Whew.Copy !req
1200. Well, so Mom tells me you're
dating that singer Madonna.Copy !req
1201. Oh, um, no, we-we broke up.Copy !req
1202. Oh, I'm sorry, honey. What happened?Copy !req
1203. Yeah. It's-it's complicated.Copy !req
1204. Well, don't worry.
There's plenty of other fish in the sea.Copy !req
1205. So, so, what is it like?
What's it like being you?Copy !req
1206. You know, world famous superstar and all?Copy !req
1207. Well, um, it's-it's fun,
but it's also a lot of pressure.Copy !req
1208. The hardest part for me
is just coming up with new songs.Copy !req
1209. I-I never know where my
next idea's gonna come from.Copy !req
1210. And yeah, I-I honestly, I don't know
if I have it in me anymore.Copy !req
1211. Oh, nonsense.
I'm sure that next big ideaCopy !req
1212. is just right there in front of you.Copy !req
1213. Well, you may have noticed
I've put on a little weight.Copy !req
1214. Don't be silly, Ma. You look great.Copy !req
1215. You do, dear. I think you look wonderful
with a few extra pounds.Copy !req
1216. I think you're pleasingly plump.Copy !req
1217. Oh, Nick. You know I'm fat.Copy !req
1218. I'm fat, you know it.Copy !req
1219. What?Copy !req
1220. Wow.Copy !req
1221. Dad, can I ask you something?Copy !req
1222. Mom told me growing up,
you always had your reasonsCopy !req
1223. for being so hard on me.Copy !req
1224. I think it's time, dear.Copy !req
1225. All right.Copy !req
1226. Oh, whoa.Copy !req
1227. I wrote it all down.
This should explain everything.Copy !req
1228. Okay, do you have maybe
a-a photo albumCopy !req
1229. or we can just go through
the bullet points together?Copy !req
1230. I don't have a photo album,
but I have a sketchbook.Copy !req
1231. A sketchbook?Copy !req
1232. You see, we didn't have any camerasCopy !req
1233. when I was growing up because...Copy !req
1234. I was raised Amish.Copy !req
1235. What, really?Copy !req
1236. Yep. I grew up Amish.Copy !req
1237. Lived in the community for
the first 16 years of my life.Copy !req
1238. And frankly, I don't think I
ever really fit inCopy !req
1239. because, well, if I'm being honest,Copy !req
1240. I was just as weird as you
when I was a kid.Copy !req
1241. Yeah, I even made up new words
to the hymnsCopy !req
1242. that we sang during church service.Copy !req
1243. That didn't go over too well.Copy !req
1244. That boy will never learn.Copy !req
1245. And then when I was
a few years older,Copy !req
1246. I was able to go on rumspringa.Copy !req
1247. I finally had a chance to go out
into the great big worldCopy !req
1248. and see what it had to offer.Copy !req
1249. And that's when I saw
the love of my life,Copy !req
1250. a 1933 Excelsior,Copy !req
1251. the finest accordion there ever was.Copy !req
1252. Cost me every penny I had
in the world, but it was worth it.Copy !req
1253. So wait-wait-wait,
you had an accordion?Copy !req
1254. I did, I did, I did,
I was pretty good at it too.Copy !req
1255. I was not bad. I was not bad at all.Copy !req
1256. I thought I was the love of your life.Copy !req
1257. Oh, honey, you come later, please.
Anyway...Copy !req
1258. So, I tried for months to make itCopy !req
1259. as a professional musician,Copy !req
1260. but it just wasn't in God's plan.Copy !req
1261. Get outta here!Copy !req
1262. Failure mocked me
at every waking moment.Copy !req
1263. Hey, there, squeeze box.Copy !req
1264. I knew that I had to
give up my dreamCopy !req
1265. and go back to the only life
that I'd ever known.Copy !req
1266. But when I tried to come back
to the Amish community,Copy !req
1267. well, the second they
saw that squeeze box,Copy !req
1268. I was immediately ex-communicated,
banished forever.Copy !req
1269. My whole world
was torn away from me.Copy !req
1270. All I knew was
I never wanted to seeCopy !req
1271. another accordion again,
for as long as I lived.Copy !req
1272. So I got a job at the factory,Copy !req
1273. a place where I knew you could
get an honest day's wagesCopy !req
1274. for an honest day's work.Copy !req
1275. And that's when I met...Copy !req
1276. the true love of my life.Copy !req
1277. Your mother.Copy !req
1278. Wow.Copy !req
1279. Dad, I... I never knew.Copy !req
1280. Of course you didn't.
How could you, I just told you.Copy !req
1281. I just, the whole story was about...Copy !req
1282. Anyway, look,Copy !req
1283. son, I hope that you can forgive me
and I hope you understand.Copy !req
1284. I lost everything
and I didn't want youCopy !req
1285. to suffer the same sad fate.Copy !req
1286. I didn't want you
to get your dreams crushed,Copy !req
1287. so I thought I should
crush your ideasCopy !req
1288. before they could turn into dreams.Copy !req
1289. Yeah, that makes sense.Copy !req
1290. Oh.Copy !req
1291. Oh, that's nothing. You can just
throw that thing out, that's...Copy !req
1292. - "Amish Paradise?"
- Nope, just tear that up in little piecesCopy !req
1293. - and get rid of that.
- Dad.Copy !req
1294. Are these song lyrics?Copy !req
1295. That's just something stupid
I wrote a while ago.Copy !req
1296. It doesn't matter. You can just...Copy !req
1297. No, no, no, Dad, these lyrics...Copy !req
1298. they're like a window into your soul.Copy !req
1299. I don't think I've ever felt
more connected to you than thisCopy !req
1300. in my entire life.Copy !req
1301. Well, I never had the chance
to perform it myselfCopy !req
1302. because the dream had already died.Copy !req
1303. I thought maybe someday,
but no, never mind.Copy !req
1304. Never mind. I guess no one
will ever hear this song.Copy !req
1305. That's it! That's it!Copy !req
1306. Mom!Copy !req
1307. What did you say like
a minute ago, about being fat?Copy !req
1308. We're onto something else now.Copy !req
1309. We were kind of having
a moment here, son.Copy !req
1310. Read the room.Copy !req
1311. Yeah, I mean, I wrote the book
and did the whole thing.Copy !req
1312. - Alfy!
- The drawing.Copy !req
1313. Listen to your father when he's talking!Copy !req
1314. Does anything register with you?Copy !req
1315. Can you see my lips moving?
Nothing gets through to you.Copy !req
1316. Man, I should a kept
the publishing rights.Copy !req
1317. Yecch!Copy !req
1318. It is so good to
have you back, man.Copy !req
1319. Yeah, I was starting
to miss the weird one.Copy !req
1320. Oh god, I cannot believe
I ever said that to you guys.Copy !req
1321. I am so, so sorry.Copy !req
1322. Hey, you're an artist.Copy !req
1323. Being an abusive jerk
is all part of the process.Copy !req
1324. Yeah, name me one creative geniusCopy !req
1325. that doesn't have a checkered pastCopy !req
1326. involving drugs, alcohol
and a murderous rampageCopy !req
1327. through the heart of the jungle.Copy !req
1328. Yeah, I guess you're right.Copy !req
1329. I love you guys so much!Copy !req
1330. Yeah, yeah. See you out there.Copy !req
1331. Dr. D, you came!Copy !req
1332. Of course I came. I wouldn't
have missed it for the world.Copy !req
1333. And well, needless to say,
you were amazing.Copy !req
1334. Thank you. And I-I also,
I really wanna say the way I treated you...Copy !req
1335. Stop. I'm gonna stop you
right there, okay?Copy !req
1336. No apologies necessary.Copy !req
1337. I have been thinking
a lot about what you said,Copy !req
1338. and I realized, Al, that...Copy !req
1339. you are like a son to me and, uh...Copy !req
1340. Well, I never really had any children
of my own, so, uh...Copy !req
1341. I want to adopt you.Copy !req
1342. Will you be my son?Copy !req
1343. Wow.Copy !req
1344. Um, you... I... I just made up with my dad.Copy !req
1345. You d... You did?Copy !req
1346. - Yeah.
- That's, wow. Okay.Copy !req
1347. Yeah. So yeah, we-we talked.Copy !req
1348. - Wow.
- We're-we're all good now.Copy !req
1349. Cool, the coolest. That's great.Copy !req
1350. - That's great.
- It is great.Copy !req
1351. Oh, good!Copy !req
1352. - Yeah.
- Cool.Copy !req
1353. Wow, that's so cool.Copy !req
1354. That's really cool. That's so cool.Copy !req
1355. My, my category
is coming up really soon,Copy !req
1356. I think, so I should probably go change?Copy !req
1357. You should...
oh, you should go. Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
1358. It's so good to see you.Copy !req
1359. - Thank you so much for coming.
- Okay.Copy !req
1360. - So good. Take care.
- All right.Copy !req
1361. Please welcome to the stage
Grammy Award winner Diana Ross,Copy !req
1362. and Intercontinental
WWF Champion Hulk Hogan.Copy !req
1363. As artists, we learn to express ourselves
through our instruments.Copy !req
1364. Louis Armstrong had his trumpet
and Jimi Hendrix had his guitar.Copy !req
1365. And well, my instrument is my voice.Copy !req
1366. That's right, Diana.Copy !req
1367. And my instruments
are these 24-inch pythons.Copy !req
1368. Whoo!Copy !req
1369. No, no, Mary.
That's an oily man.Copy !req
1370. And now, the award
you've all been waiting for.Copy !req
1371. In the category of "Perhaps
Not Technically the BestCopy !req
1372. But Arguably the Most
Famous Accordion PlayerCopy !req
1373. in an Extremely
Specific Genre of Music."Copy !req
1374. And the award goes to...Copy !req
1375. "Weird Al" Yankovic!Copy !req
1376. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1377. Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, this is incredible.Copy !req
1378. This award means so much to me,Copy !req
1379. and in front of all
the billions of people watchingCopy !req
1380. around the world right now,
all I want to say is...Copy !req
1381. see, Dad? I told you!Copy !req
1382. Yeah! In your face, old man!Copy !req
1383. Huh?Copy !req
1384. There are so many people here tonight
that I need to thank.Copy !req
1385. People who mean the world to me
and who made meCopy !req
1386. everything that I am today.Copy !req
1387. But they know who they are, and I'm gonna
thank them all later privately.Copy !req
1388. Okay, I'm just gonna wrap things up.
I don't have much time left.Copy !req
1389. I... Y'know, I'm gonna be around
for a good long time.Copy !req
1390. You don't have to worry about that.Copy !req
1391. You're not gonna get rid of me
that easy.Copy !req
1392. - Waiting on your signal.
- Stand by.Copy !req
1393. But in my remaining few seconds,
I just wanna say...Copy !req
1394. live the life you wanna live.Copy !req
1395. You know, be as weird as you wanna be.Copy !req
1396. Believe me, you will never
find true happinessCopy !req
1397. until you can truly accept who you are.Copy !req
1398. And standing before all of you,
right here, right now,Copy !req
1399. I can honestly say I have
never been more happyCopy !req
1400. or more proud in my entire life.Copy !req
1401. Thank you.Copy !req
1402. Thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
1403. Take the shot.Copy !req
1404. Nooo!Copy !req
1405. Wow, fake-out ending!Copy !req
1406. Awwwwww, double fake-out!Copy !req