1. Oh, God.
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2. How are you, Richard? Hot enough for you?
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3. Yeah.
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4. Hey, what are you doing?
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5. You dummy, why don't you watch
where you are going?
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6. Does this look like 10:00, or like 10:30?
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7. - Morning, Richard!
- Good morning.
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8. - You are a half hour late.
- Only a half hour?
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9. I am usually 45 minutes late.
I am early today.
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10. I see.
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11. - Are you going to join me today or what?
- Coming.
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12. Give me your money and your wallets.
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13. Get your ass out of here. It is too hot.
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14. Color me old-fashioned, Rich,
but I just love the park on a Sunday.
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15. I would love it more if we didn't have
to work today. Come on, let's go.
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16. Let me open that for you, all right?
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17. Hot enough for you, Larry?
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18. No, Harris, why don't you turn up the heat?
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19. Okay. I'll tell the engineer.
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20. Cheap bastards. Turn off
the air conditioning on the weekends.
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21. - Let's go to the beach.
- No.
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22. - We are going to be here our whole lives.
- Yeah, I am afraid so.
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23. - I am going to the beach!
- Give me those papers.
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24. - The papers are going to the beach.
- We aren't going.
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25. You want these?
You're coming to the beach.
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26. - I guess we are going to the beach.
- Wilson at the line.
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27. That was beautiful. Replay.
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28. Give me those papers!
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29. - You think it's safe to go in the water?
- No, better not.
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30. - You just ate. You might get cramps.
- I'll risk it.
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31. We'll get back to you with more tunes,
but first we'll hear...
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32. the latest from Weather Central.
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33. - What is happening out there, buddy?
- Sizzle, sizzle...
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34. as the Big Apple becomes the Baked Apple.
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35. You better believe that these are...
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36. Oh, Christ. Will you shut that thing off?
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37. continues before Labor Day weekend.
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38. It is going to be the four "H's":
hot, humid, hazy, and horrible.
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39. This sucks. I am so unhappy.
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40. - We should be at a real beach.
- There are no more real beaches.
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41. I mean we could go to Jones Beach
and float around in the hospital waste.
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42. Then again Coney Island is always real nice.
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43. We could go there and watch the fish
disintegrate in front of our eyes.
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44. Wait a minute. Wait a goddamn...
Hold the phone, buddy! I got it!
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45. I got the $2 million. Where are your pages?
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46. Get your pages.
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47. Oh, my God!
You are not going to believe what you see!
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48. - Okay.
- Turn to Page 28.
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49. Right after 27.
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50. - Got it.
- All right? You got it?
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51. I want you to turn to Page 41 now.
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52. - I got it.
- Check out line 18.
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53. - Okay?
- Yeah.
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54. - You see it?
- I see it.
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55. What about it?
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56. You are such a stupid piece of rat shit.
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57. Hot!
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58. - Watch your step!
- I am being barbecued here!
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59. All right. Okay. All right, buddy
I am going to explain it to you real slow.
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60. - Good.
- Okay.
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61. There's more than one check issued
on the same life insurance policy claim.
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62. One in December of '87, another in
April of '88, and two more in June.
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63. - Making any sense?
- Yeah, he died four times.
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64. Yes. According to this, he died four times.
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65. So somebody screwed up.
It wasn't us. Was it?
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66. No. It wasn't us.
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67. Don't you see?
We just uncovered a $2 million error.
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68. We're going to be heroes.
We're going up the corporate ladder.
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69. - This is good for me.
- Yes, this is good for you.
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70. - It's good for me, too.
- I'll tell Lomax first thing in the morning.
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71. - What page is it?
- No, Larry. Let me tell him.
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72. - We'll both tell him.
- Okay. Great!
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73. There is what's- her-name.
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74. Stop staring at her.
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75. You've not shut up about her
for two months.
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76. - Ask her out already, will you?
- No. I don't know what to say.
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77. She's a summer intern.
She'll be gone in a week.
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78. No, I've no idea what to say.
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79. - Say "Hi, I want to go out with you."
- I can't say that.
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80. Why not?
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81. Because there are too many people around.
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82. It's New York City.
There are always too many people.
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83. Excuse me, miss.
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84. Oh, shit.
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85. Good weekend, Bob?
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86. - You going to say something?
- Shut up.
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87. - You are blowing it.
- Shut...
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88. Please, shut up, all right?
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89. Thank you.
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90. Okay.
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91. Try witty.
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92. Say, "You know what would look
good on you?"
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93. - "Me." Huh?
- Oh, please.
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94. - Richard, that is a very good line.
- Enough, look...
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95. - if I wanted to talk to her, I'll talk to her.
- Talk to her.
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96. - Would you talk to her?
- Would you stop?
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97. - You want me to talk to her?
- Yes.
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98. Okay. Shut up.
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99. Excuse me.
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100. My aunt is very sick.
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101. What?
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102. Nothing.
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103. I don't believe this, she's...
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104. Now, don't flagellate yourself
over this, Richard.
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105. It was a very good effort.
You'll get her next time.
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106. Why did I just say that?
Larry, I don't even have an aunt.
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107. So what?
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108. Anything going on?
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109. There are these messages.
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110. And you are late for
the creative sales meeting, Mr. Lomax.
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111. - Excuse us, Mr. Lomax.
- Let me get that, sir.
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112. Sammy. Hank. How are you?
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113. Richard Parker, sir.
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114. - Larry Wilson.
- Whatever.
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115. There's nothing from a Doreena,
a Martha, Judy?
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116. - No.
- Well, that's their tough luck.
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117. - Excuse us, Mr. Lomax.
- What?
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118. There's something
we would like to show you.
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119. Wait. It's Monday morning.
After lunch, right?
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120. Quite a bit after lunch.
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121. Shoo.
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122. Yeah, I got it, François.
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123. That's $2.
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124. Rich.
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125. Look at Lomax.
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126. God.
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127. My God. Look at her.
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128. My God.
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129. Jesus. That guy.
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130. Beautiful apartment. House at the beach.
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131. Babes. A boat. A car.
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132. Do you know how much it costs
to park a car in Manhattan every month?
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133. - More than my rent.
- I mean, it's only fair.
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134. His car is a bit bigger than your apartment.
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135. So my apartment is small. It's dark.
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136. It's hot. It's in a high-crime area.
Beats living with Mom and Dad.
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137. All right. Enough.
It's just until I can afford something decent.
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138. Something without
wall-to-wall cockroaches.
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139. All I have to do is just keep
setting my goals and working hard...
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140. - I'll be fine.
- You are so naive.
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141. - I'm sorry.
- Excuse me.
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142. Go ahead. Oh, God.
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143. I hope your aunt feels better.
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144. - What?
- I said...
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145. She said, "I hope your aunt feels better."
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146. My aunt? The sick aunt. Yes, she is fine.
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147. They thought it was...
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148. Either get on the elevator or get off.
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149. I'll be back.
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150. And I lose again.
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151. I won. I have a date.
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152. - You are kidding.
- No.
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153. Gwen and I, Thursday night,
8:00 p.m., dinner.
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154. - Fabulous.
- It was the clumsy approach. It worked.
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155. You are going to want
to borrow my apartment.
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156. No, but thank you. That's sweet.
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157. But I can't do that to you. Thank you.
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158. If she finds out you live with your folks,
you will embarrass yourself.
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159. Yeah, I know, but I can't do that to you.
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160. It is the cockroaches, isn't it?
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161. - Well...
- They scatter when the lights go on.
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162. Mr. Parker, Mr. Lomax will see you now.
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163. I feel lucky.
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164. No, I only want the Maserati
if it comes in that jet black.
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165. Look, if you can't do it for me...
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166. I'll just have to take my business
to another dealer.
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167. Yeah.
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168. So paint it! I mean how hard
can this whole thing be?
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169. Right.
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170. All right. See, that's better.
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171. See how easy it is to do business with me?
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172. No trade. Strictly cash.
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173. Right.
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174. All right. Good.
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175. Gentlemen, what have you got for me?
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176. As you may or may not know, Mr. Lomax...
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177. Larry and I have been, I mean, working.
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178. - Where is he going?
- I don't know.
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179. What are we supposed to do?
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180. Bet that thing moves, huh? Jesus.
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181. - Put that back.
- It's a beautiful boat.
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182. You gentlemen were saying...
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183. Yes, well.
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184. As you might have heard...
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185. Larry and I have been reprogramming
the accounts on the new computer system.
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186. - Right.
- Thanks.
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187. Sir, it's a very big job.
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188. A big job. We have been working hard.
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189. A very big job.
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190. I've been at it for quite some time.
Weekends also.
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191. - Weekends, late, and...
- Why don't you show him?
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192. Thank you.
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193. We've got something
you should know about.
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194. - Got them both there?
- Yes. Page 28 and 41.
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195. You sure these figures are accurate?
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196. - Yes.
- Positive.
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197. Yes, sir, Mr. Lomax.
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198. Bernie.
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199. Call me Bernie.
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200. I mean my father is Mr. Lomax, right?
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201. Okay, Bernie.
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202. - Yes, it's all there in black and white.
- We both worked on this one, Bern.
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203. "E."
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204. Bernie.
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205. - Papers.
- Right here, Bernie.
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206. If anything has to go,
I am glad it's my vision...
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207. and not the old joystick,
you know what I mean?
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208. That's computer ink, sir.
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209. Oh, no, you are wrong. Look.
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210. There are multiple checks issued
because there were several policies written.
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211. You didn't take into consideration
that it's normal...
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212. especially when using
a fluctuating COL index to combine...
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213. look here, a package containing
short-term and straight life policies...
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214. in an overall insurance portfolio.
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215. Now you are wasting my time.
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216. Richard worked on that part, sir.
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217. That is true, Bernie.
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218. But if you were to look at the back page,
where the policy indexes are...
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219. you'll notice that the remaining policies...
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220. are dated after
the policy holder died, Bernie.
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221. You are right.
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222. You are absolutely right.
Gentlemen, this is good work.
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223. Very, very good work.
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224. Thank you, Bernie.
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225. I hate to say this, but it appears
as if somebody is trying...
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226. to defraud the company.
Perhaps we should check back records.
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227. Somebody tried to smoke it
past the wrong guy.
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228. No smoking.
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229. Gentlemen, how long have you two
been working here?
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230. - Nineteen months and a week.
- I am not really sure.
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231. - A little longer, I think.
- Longer? I was here before you.
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232. No, Richard. I trained you.
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233. I came here in January,
you came the end of May.
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234. I trained you.
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235. Whatever!
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236. What I am saying is that
I think there is a big future here...
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237. for a couple of bright fellows
like yourselves.
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238. Thank you.
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239. But I'd like to go over these numbers
with you...
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240. just to make sure
that you've gotten everything.
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241. The only trouble is if someone is trying to...
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242. like you said
"smoke it past the wrong guy"...
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243. I'd like to just keep it confidential.
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244. I mean there is no sense sending up
a bunch of red flags.
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245. No, absolutely not.
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246. If you would like, we'll work late.
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247. - Yes, I mean we'll work weekends.
- Weekends are very good for me.
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248. Weekends. Good idea.
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249. Give us plenty of time together,
no distractions.
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250. It is Labor Day.
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251. I got an idea.
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252. How would you two like to come
to my house at the beach?
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253. - Me?
- Us?
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254. Yeah. Hampton Island.
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255. Ever been there? Well, you will love it.
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256. When we're not working,
there are distractions.
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257. There are women, swimming,
boating, famous people.
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258. Well?
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259. - Love to!
- Okay.
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260. Good! It's settled.
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261. We are going to have a good time,
I guarantee.
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262. My secretary will write down
the directions...
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263. - give you the ferry schedule.
- The ferry schedule?
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264. It's the only way to get there,
unless you have a boat. I don't know.
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265. I have never even been on a boat.
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266. I was once on the Staten Island Ferry
with my folks...
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267. Whatever. You come out Friday night,
you'll have a great time, I guarantee it.
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268. I'll even drive you back to the city myself
on Monday. Okay?
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269. We don't know what to say, Bernie.
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270. You don't have to say anything.
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271. If you two uncovered what I think
you uncovered...
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272. old Bernie here owes you both a great deal.
I mean it sincerely.
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273. Now get out of here. Go on.
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274. He loves us.
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275. The man absolutely loves us.
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276. You have to kill them, Vito.
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277. Let me explain something to you.
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278. We don't do that anymore.
We are a corporation now.
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279. We are in the market. We invest.
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280. Real estate. Car rentals. Parking lots.
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281. Parking lots. That's good.
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282. - I understand that, but...
- Didn't I order the walnut dressing?
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283. - Yes, you did.
- Taste that.
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284. Does that taste
anything like walnut dressing? Tell me.
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285. This is the raspberry vinaigrette.
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286. Should I have Paulie go
and talk to the chef?
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287. This goddamn raspberry vinaigrette...
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288. Excuse me, Vito.
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289. I know how important food is to you,
I mean...
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290. But we've got a problem here.
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291. I give problems. I don't get problems.
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292. How do you propose to handle it?
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293. Let's make it a murder-suicide job. All right?
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294. Okay, gentlemen?
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295. I'll plant some money, fake a note,
and they can take the rap and...
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296. I won't even have to change the books.
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297. What do you think?
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298. I like it. It's creative.
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299. I am a little rusty. But it'll come back to me.
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300. Okay.
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301. - Do it.
- This is good.
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302. I mean this is really good. Good.
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303. I think we are going to have some fun.
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304. - I have to get going. I really do.
- What, no dessert?
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305. They do a wonderful crème brûlée here.
It's delicious.
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306. No, gentlemen, I really must be going.
Thanks for dinner, Vito.
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307. I got to go powder my nose.
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308. Forget the accident with the two guys.
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309. Take care of Lomax.
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310. He's getting too careless...
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311. too greedy.
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312. Besides...
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313. he's screwing my girlfriend.
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314. But you said we were going to
spend the weekend at the beach!
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315. You heard the conversation.
What am I supposed to do about it?
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316. - Bernie.
- What?
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317. I told Vito I was going to spend
some time with my mother!
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318. I have to see you, Bernie.
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319. Cut it out.
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320. - What's wrong with you? Wait a minute.
- What?
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321. - I have an idea.
- What?
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322. You are on, 9:00 Friday night.
I'll be at the apartment.
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323. Just use your key. All right?
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324. I'll wear something special.
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325. I bet you never had sweet and sour
matzo balls before.
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326. No.
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327. - I am glad you finally asked me out.
- You are?
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328. I wish you had asked me out sooner.
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329. Today was my last day at work.
I am going back to college.
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330. We could still have
this weekend together, right?
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331. I am spending it with my folks.
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332. - Are your folks in town?
- No.
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333. Is this the intimate evening
I promised you, or what?
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334. You think there's anywhere we could go
to just sit and talk...
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335. and not have to scream
and get run over by garbage trucks?
Copy !req
336. - Hey, want to throw her in?
- How you doing?
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337. I'd invite you to my apartment,
but I have five roommates.
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338. And they are all at home
doing their hair right now.
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339. That's a lot of hair. But it's clean. I like that.
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340. It's either that or living with my parents,
and I don't think that's a good idea.
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341. I can't blame you. Who'd want
to live with their folks? That's no good.
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342. - Do you have any roommates?
- No. Roommates? No. None.
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343. Why don't we go to your place?
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344. Come on, baby. You're not a woman.
Are you? Tell me the truth.
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345. Okay.
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346. Why are you tiptoeing?
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347. Because...
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348. the people who live downstairs,
they're very light sleepers.
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349. They get angry when I walk.
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350. Why are you whispering?
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351. - Am I?
- Yes.
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352. I am. That's because of the walls.
They are too thin.
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353. - Make yourself at home.
- Thank you.
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354. Look at this teak.
I mean this whole apartment.
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355. Sort of '60s style.
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356. Yeah. I know.
I've been meaning to redo that for years.
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357. No, I love it. I mean, it's very hip.
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358. I think you have done the place beautifully.
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359. I like it. It's home.
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360. You know, it's a side of you
I never would have expected.
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361. I'm very impressed.
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362. - Are you?
- Yeah.
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363. About what?
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364. This apartment has got to be expensive.
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365. So obviously you could have taken me
to some flash restaurant instead of that...
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366. Is "dump" the word you are groping for?
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367. You didn't like Hymie's Hunan?
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368. - It's a four-star dive.
- It was great. I loved it.
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369. It's just that some men
would try to impress women by...
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370. pretending to be something they are not.
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371. I absolutely agree. That's a terrible way
to begin a relationship.
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372. Pretending to be something you are not.
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373. Oh, God.
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374. You don't have to answer this
if you don't want to...
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375. but how do you afford a place like this?
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376. I don't like to brag.
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377. I just feel uncomfortable
showing off my money...
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378. but I've made some wise investments.
I dabble in the stock market.
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379. And of course my parents
were rather well off.
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380. Do you want to sit?
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381. They passed away?
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382. Yes.
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383. They must have been young.
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384. Oh, yeah.
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385. I feel I can trust you.
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386. They were in a train accident.
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387. Yeah, I mean I don't know
what it was with trains...
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388. but they just always liked to travel in trains.
Copy !req
389. I am sorry.
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390. - How awful for you.
- Yeah.
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391. You know, I always thought trains
were so much safer than planes.
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392. Well, actually, a plane...
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393. fell on the train.
Copy !req
394. - Richard.
- Gwen.
Copy !req
395. There's a man in his underwear
in your kitchen.
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396. He's... He's with me.
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397. He's my butler. But...
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398. - You have a butler?
- Yeah. Don't get him started.
Copy !req
399. He'll just go away if you just be quiet.
Copy !req
400. Sorry. I didn't realize you had company.
Copy !req
401. Good evening, young lady.
Copy !req
402. That's all right, Monroe.
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403. Yes, will you, please, just go lay out
my navy blue suit for the morning?
Copy !req
404. Please.
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405. - How about if I lay you out?
- Very well.
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406. - You let your butler talk to you like that?
- Well, he is a vet.
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407. He has got a steel plate in his head.
Copy !req
408. Gwen, it's not what you think.
Copy !req
409. Goodbye, Richard.
Copy !req
410. I'll grab the bow line.
Copy !req
411. - Hey, Skeet. How are you doing?
- Hey, Mr. Lomax.
Copy !req
412. Here you go, my friend.
Buy yourself a girlfriend.
Copy !req
413. Where have you been, Candy?
Copy !req
414. - Hey, Bernie. How about a drink?
- A little bit later.
Copy !req
415. - Yo, Bernie. The cocktail flag is up.
- A little bit later.
Copy !req
416. Booze and women.
That is my lifestyle and I love it!
Copy !req
417. And I!
Copy !req
418. - George, how are you?
- Nice to see you, Mr. Lomax.
Copy !req
419. What are you doing here?
I fired you last week.
Copy !req
420. - I just want my $90, okay?
- Bullshit!
Copy !req
421. You drank my liquor
and the toilets still don't work.
Copy !req
422. I don't want to see you.
Copy !req
423. Get out of here!
Copy !req
424. You come back again,
I am going to call the cops!
Copy !req
425. You son of a bitch.
Copy !req
426. - I am sorry. I think she needs a little B-12.
- Whatever.
Copy !req
427. This is Bernie. Leave a message,
I'll get right back to you.
Copy !req
428. - Goodbye, Mr. Lomax.
- Bye.
Copy !req
429. Hello?
Copy !req
430. Hey, Lomax. It's Paulie.
I just got to the island.
Copy !req
431. You are early.
Copy !req
432. Those schmucks are not coming
until the 6:00 ferry...
Copy !req
433. - and I still have to plant the note.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
434. So where is your house?
Copy !req
435. It's on the point, top of the dune.
Copy !req
436. Look, Paulie,
don't kill them while I am around.
Copy !req
437. Bernie, we are on a phone here.
Copy !req
438. Right. You are right. Okay, I am sorry.
Copy !req
439. The point is, I just want to be
back in New York with an alibi, okay?
Copy !req
440. Yeah. Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
441. Oh, God!
Copy !req
442. Rich. It is leaving. Come on!
Copy !req
443. I told you we should've taken
a taxi from the station.
Copy !req
444. - There's another boat in a half hour.
- We'll miss the parties.
Copy !req
445. We got it. Excuse me.
Copy !req
446. - Sorry.
- Coming through.
Copy !req
447. Don't be ridiculous! What are you doing?
We are not jumping on this boat!
Copy !req
448. - Do you hear me?
- Here we go!
Copy !req
449. Listen to me, Larry, we are not
jumping on this boat!
Copy !req
450. - Jesus Christ! My elbow!
- Piece of cake!
Copy !req
451. Thanks, pal.
Copy !req
452. This ferry isn't leaving. It's docking.
Copy !req
453. - Okay. We're early.
- You schmuck.
Copy !req
454. - What is your name?
- What is your name?
Copy !req
455. - Larry.
- Hi, Larry. I am Michelle.
Copy !req
456. Come on! Lighten up there, Rich!
We are on our way!
Copy !req
457. I am so depressed.
I made a fool out of myself last night.
Copy !req
458. Of course you did.
Copy !req
459. - I should've stayed home.
- What are you talking about?
Copy !req
460. We've been summoned to the mountain top.
This is good for your career.
Copy !req
461. You know, by the time this weekend is over,
I promise you won't even remember...
Copy !req
462. what's- her-name's name.
I'll get you a drink. Come on.
Copy !req
463. Look, I'll see you later.
Copy !req
464. Goodbye, young man. Nice talking to you.
Copy !req
465. That is good. This is very good.
Copy !req
466. - I did not hear you come in.
- I know.
Copy !req
467. I am real good at that.
Copy !req
468. - I told you the guys aren't here yet, didn't I?
- You did.
Copy !req
469. - Good.
- Quite a shack you have here.
Copy !req
470. It's home.
Copy !req
471. Can I have a cigarette?
Copy !req
472. Cigarette.
Copy !req
473. Sure.
Copy !req
474. What was...
Copy !req
475. Quite a ride, huh, Bern?
Copy !req
476. Glorious day out, or what?
Copy !req
477. Where's Bernie?
Copy !req
478. I got it right here. It says it's the last house
on the point, top of the dune.
Copy !req
479. Pardon me, Monsignor, sir, could you
tell me where the top of the dune is?
Copy !req
480. - Bless you, my son.
- Thank you, Father.
Copy !req
481. Look, we'll find it. Okay.
Copy !req
482. - You know, it's an island, right?
- How hard can it be?
Copy !req
483. Excuse me. Is this the way to...
Copy !req
484. - Yo, is this Bernie Lomax's house?
- Sure is.
Copy !req
485. Wow.
Copy !req
486. Holy shit. Look at this.
Copy !req
487. Come on, Rich.
Copy !req
488. Oh, beautiful.
Copy !req
489. Oh, my God. He has got a pool.
Copy !req
490. He has got a goddamn pool at the beach.
It's heated.
Copy !req
491. I love this man.
Copy !req
492. This is inspiring. Look at this view.
Copy !req
493. - I am getting laid.
- Sure beats Coney Island.
Copy !req
494. What? Should we just walk in?
Copy !req
495. No, we'll stand out here all weekend.
Come on, we are houseguests.
Copy !req
496. Hello! Bernie, we are here.
Copy !req
497. Amazing.
Copy !req
498. I am home.
Copy !req
499. Excellent.
Copy !req
500. - Admit it. You are glad you came.
- Okay, I admit it.
Copy !req
501. - We got three days of this ahead of us.
- Oh, yeah. This is something.
Copy !req
502. I mean a place like this must go for what,
a $1.6 million, $1.7 million. Unfurnished.
Copy !req
503. - Good God! That's a Lichtenstein!
- What? Where?
Copy !req
504. Not the piano. The painting. It's an original.
Copy !req
505. Of course it is.
Copy !req
506. All of this could be yours,
if you set your goals and work hard.
Copy !req
507. My old man worked hard.
All they did was give him more work.
Copy !req
508. Hey, is Bernie around?
Copy !req
509. Hello. No, haven't seen him.
But we just got here.
Copy !req
510. We're going to be here all weekend.
We are houseguests.
Copy !req
511. Tell him Tawny borrowed his boat
to go skiing.
Copy !req
512. Hi, Tawny. I am horny.
Copy !req
513. - Hi. Look, don't forget to tell Bernie, okay?
- Okay.
Copy !req
514. Tawny, you wouldn't happen to know
where Bernie is, would you?
Copy !req
515. He's probably making the rounds.
Copy !req
516. Everybody parties from house to house,
but they always end up here. Bye!
Copy !req
517. - And you didn't want to come.
- I admit it, I was wrong.
Copy !req
518. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
519. Nothing but champagne and caviar.
Pierre Jouët.
Copy !req
520. This guy is my idol.
Copy !req
521. - Don't open that.
- Why not?
Copy !req
522. We are houseguests, come on.
You want some?
Copy !req
523. No, thanks. This is strange.
Where's our host?
Copy !req
524. You heard Tawny. He's out partying.
Come on.
Copy !req
525. Let's check out the rest of this joint.
Copy !req
526. This is fabulous.
Copy !req
527. I found him. Mr. Lomax.
Copy !req
528. Bernie! How are you doing? Great place.
Copy !req
529. I hope you don't mind, but we just
walked in. We didn't know that you...
Copy !req
530. Bernie?
Copy !req
531. He's sleeping.
Copy !req
532. Yeah.
Copy !req
533. It's not even dark out
and he's out of his skull.
Copy !req
534. He's been working awfully hard, you know.
Copy !req
535. Don't slap him. That's your boss.
Copy !req
536. I know. He's meditating.
Copy !req
537. He's not. He's like dead, man.
Come on, let's walk him around.
Copy !req
538. We'll get the blood circulating.
Copy !req
539. There we go. Okay, this way.
Copy !req
540. Here we go.
Copy !req
541. That's it. Move those feet, Bernie.
That's a boy.
Copy !req
542. - Here you go.
- Get him up.
Copy !req
543. Carry your weight, here, Richard.
Copy !req
544. Come on, Bernie.
Copy !req
545. - Move those feet.
- He's giving me a hernia.
Copy !req
546. I am losing him. Put him on the couch.
Copy !req
547. - We can't just leave him like this, you know.
- Come on, Bernie.
Copy !req
548. Get your hand off me, Bernie.
Copy !req
549. I'll make the coffee.
Copy !req
550. Don't you worry, Mr. Lomax, we'll make
you some coffee, fix you right up.
Copy !req
551. Tell you what, let's just make you
a little more comfy.
Copy !req
552. That is better. There you go.
Copy !req
553. You are dropping things
right out of your pocket here.
Copy !req
554. You want to come in here for a minute?
Copy !req
555. - Yeah, look, Rich, is instant okay?
- That's fine.
Copy !req
556. - Good. What?
- Look what I found in his pocket.
Copy !req
557. Wow.
Copy !req
558. Jesus.
Copy !req
559. I never knew he was into the drug scene.
Copy !req
560. God. Look how much is here.
Copy !req
561. This is not recreational. This is a career.
Copy !req
562. This man needs some help. You know that?
Copy !req
563. If he's not careful,
he's going to wake up dead.
Copy !req
564. I watch 20/20. I know the statistics.
Copy !req
565. I read.
Copy !req
566. - What?
- Larry, Lomax is dead.
Copy !req
567. He can't be.
Copy !req
568. Why do these things always happen to me?
Copy !req
569. What kind of a host invites you to his house
for the weekend and dies on you?
Copy !req
570. Why would he do this?
I mean, he had everything.
Copy !req
571. A house. Cars. Women.
Copy !req
572. This is tragic.
Copy !req
573. I don't understand why he couldn't wait
until Monday to kill himself.
Copy !req
574. Look. We have to call the police.
Copy !req
575. And how am I going to get back to the city?
He promised me a ride.
Copy !req
576. Knock it off, Larry. Who cares about a ride?
We are talking death here.
Copy !req
577. I mean this is just my luck.
Copy !req
578. I finally catch a break at the office...
Copy !req
579. finally see some light
at the end of the tunnel and wham! Gone!
Copy !req
580. Wait a minute. What am I going to tell them?
Copy !req
581. They might think
we had something to do with it.
Copy !req
582. I told everyone we were going
to Bernie's house for the weekend.
Copy !req
583. They were so jealous. I mean, I loved it.
Copy !req
584. - Now what am I going to tell them?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
585. Bernie, you should have been on the court.
Copy !req
586. - What a great day.
- Do you see him?
Copy !req
587. Where are you?
Copy !req
588. Bernie, baby, get off your ass.
It's party time!
Copy !req
589. You should have been out there
sailing with us today.
Copy !req
590. The sun was fabulous, the wind was
fabulous, we had a great time.
Copy !req
591. - Hi, guys.
- Hi.
Copy !req
592. Love you, darling, just love you.
You know, you could use a little sun.
Copy !req
593. We are going again tomorrow
if you want to go.
Copy !req
594. Lie on the deck, catch those rays.
Don't worry. I'll help myself.
Copy !req
595. He's dead.
Copy !req
596. That's the idea, isn't it? Cheers.
Copy !req
597. Hi, Bern!
Copy !req
598. Hey, Bernie.
Copy !req
599. Hi, Bernie.
Copy !req
600. Hey, dude. You need to pump some iron.
Copy !req
601. So, Bernie. What about your Porsche?
Copy !req
602. Had a chance to think about my offer?
Copy !req
603. You know, $30,000 is a more than
decent price for that car.
Copy !req
604. You just think about it, take your time,
don't rush into anything. See you later.
Copy !req
605. Excuse me.
Copy !req
606. You promised me a review...
Copy !req
607. on the front page
of the Sunday Times book section.
Copy !req
608. I know, Alice, but he won't bend on it.
Copy !req
609. He says there's no interest
in the subject matter.
Copy !req
610. Pardon me. What's the book about?
Copy !req
611. Whether Sherlock Holmes
and Dr. Watson were secretly married.
Copy !req
612. - Eyes, nose, and breasts.
- How much?
Copy !req
613. A little tuck here, little sand there,
a little lift there.
Copy !req
614. Do I need that much?
Copy !req
615. These people.
Where did all these people come from?
Copy !req
616. Floating party. Happens every weekend.
Copy !req
617. - Like a drink?
- No, thanks.
Copy !req
618. Yeah, I'd love some champagne, thanks.
Copy !req
619. Hey, Bernie. What a radical party.
Copy !req
620. Got to move your workout
to late tomorrow afternoon, B.
Copy !req
621. Liza's maid is over for the weekend,
and I had to give her your regular time.
Copy !req
622. Thanks, Klaus. I got it.
Copy !req
623. See you, Bern.
Copy !req
624. Feels good, eh, Bern? You are really loose.
Copy !req
625. Never seen you this relaxed before.
Keep it up.
Copy !req
626. I've got to go. Duty calls.
Copy !req
627. Hey, babe.
Copy !req
628. Hi, Bernie. I hear you got something for me.
Copy !req
629. A little present.
Copy !req
630. Playing games, are we?
Copy !req
631. It's got to be in here somewhere.
Copy !req
632. I think I found something.
Copy !req
633. Thanks a lot, Bernie.
Copy !req
634. Doesn't anyone realize he's dead?
Copy !req
635. Okay, Bernie, I'm going to shoot the wad.
Copy !req
636. I can't believe I'm doing this.
I am going to go $40,000.
Copy !req
637. No? You'll be begging me.
Copy !req
638. We have to call the police.
Copy !req
639. Here.
Copy !req
640. - Some of the biggest producers.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
641. Hello, is this the police? Yes...
Copy !req
642. I got an idea.
Copy !req
643. I know it's going to sound funny,
but just hear me out.
Copy !req
644. No, why is the hair on the back of
my neck starting to stand up?
Copy !req
645. Okay, now, we could call the police,
we could do that...
Copy !req
646. but you know where we'd be
spending our weekend...
Copy !req
647. in some hot police station answering
questions we don't know the answers to.
Copy !req
648. Now, obviously Bernie felt
he owed us something here...
Copy !req
649. some small little favor for discovering
those mistakes at the company.
Copy !req
650. That's why he invited us out here
for the weekend in the first place.
Copy !req
651. It'd be almost disrespectful
not to grant him his final wish.
Copy !req
652. All I am saying is,
why don't we just pretend he didn't die?
Copy !req
653. Just for a bit?
Copy !req
654. I don't believe I am hearing this.
Copy !req
655. I loved that man. He loved me.
Copy !req
656. I know he loved you.
Copy !req
657. He'd want this.
Copy !req
658. I mean he would really want this.
Copy !req
659. Yes, Operator, can you get me
the police, please? Thank you.
Copy !req
660. Incidentally,
you're a disgusting human being.
Copy !req
661. Gwen.
Copy !req
662. - Well, hello, Gwen.
- Wayne. Hi.
Copy !req
663. Hampton Bay Police Department.
Copy !req
664. Hello?
Copy !req
665. It's amazing.
Copy !req
666. - Hello. Police department.
- I'll call the police.
Copy !req
667. No, you know, you were right.
Bernie would have wanted it this way.
Copy !req
668. No, I think we should call the police.
Copy !req
669. Larry, just give me 10 minutes, okay?
Copy !req
670. Take 20.
Copy !req
671. - Hi.
- Hi, Freda.
Copy !req
672. Darling, you look wonderful.
Copy !req
673. $45,000.
Copy !req
674. Plus free tennis lessons.
That's it, take it or leave it.
Copy !req
675. Is this guy a tough negotiator or what?
Copy !req
676. Keep the piece of shit.
Copy !req
677. What a bash.
Copy !req
678. You animal. You are insatiable.
Copy !req
679. You slay me, Bernie.
Copy !req
680. - I've got to talk to you.
- Bernie is a little wasted right now.
Copy !req
681. Hi. Wait. Okay.
Copy !req
682. I can't blame you if you
never want to speak to me again.
Copy !req
683. If I were you, I wouldn't want
to speak to me, either.
Copy !req
684. But I just want to tell you I am sorry
for being such a jerk last night.
Copy !req
685. I don't know what got into me.
I hope you can forgive me.
Copy !req
686. It was kind of funny, seeing your father
in his underwear and everything.
Copy !req
687. - So you do forgive me?
- No, but it was kind of funny.
Copy !req
688. I'll never lie again. Honest.
Copy !req
689. So what are you doing here?
Copy !req
690. Mr. Lomax invited me and my friend Larry
for the weekend.
Copy !req
691. - Moving up in the company?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
692. I saw this great play. Yeah, it's called...
Copy !req
693. You are on your own for a minute here.
Copy !req
694. Great writer.
Copy !req
695. Well, hello.
Copy !req
696. I'm Larry.
Copy !req
697. Fuck off, Larry.
Copy !req
698. Okay.
Copy !req
699. By the way, how's your aunt?
Copy !req
700. - Who?
- Your aunt?
Copy !req
701. - She passed away.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
702. It's all right.
Copy !req
703. Didn't you say you'd be spending
this weekend with your parents?
Copy !req
704. - Yes, I did. I am. They have a house here.
- Great.
Copy !req
705. There's Bernie. I wanted to thank him
for my summer job.
Copy !req
706. I'll be right back.
Copy !req
707. No!
Copy !req
708. What?
Copy !req
709. Nothing.
Copy !req
710. Go see Bernie about it. Go see Bernie.
Copy !req
711. - Gwen, darling, how are you?
- Fine, thank you.
Copy !req
712. Have I ever told you
I never liked the name Gwen on you?
Copy !req
713. To me you'll always be Vanessa.
Copy !req
714. Her father and I,
we went to Harvard together.
Copy !req
715. You are probably right. Oh, Bernie.
Copy !req
716. Here we go, sugar, move it over!
Okay, baby?
Copy !req
717. Asshole!
Copy !req
718. - I don't understand why we've to move him.
- Don't ask. Just move him.
Copy !req
719. Here we go. Ready?
Copy !req
720. - I can't believe I'm touching a dead body.
- He was your boss. Come on, let's go.
Copy !req
721. - What a kidder.
- Bernie, you had a little too much.
Copy !req
722. Come on, you had too much again,
you big knucklehead.
Copy !req
723. Come on, let's go.
Copy !req
724. Come on. He is crazy.
Copy !req
725. Here we go. Walk it off, big guy.
Copy !req
726. Nice outfit.
Copy !req
727. Look even nicer
crumpled up on my floor in the morning.
Copy !req
728. Polyester doesn't crumple.
Copy !req
729. - Here we go. That's it, Bernie.
- Hi, Bernie.
Copy !req
730. - Just like last week, huh?
- Come on.
Copy !req
731. All right. Okay.
Copy !req
732. Look me in the eye. $50,000.
Copy !req
733. Yes! I knew it! Thank you, Bernie!
Copy !req
734. Thank you so much. This guy is like family.
Copy !req
735. You are beautiful!
Copy !req
736. Grab him. Larry.
Copy !req
737. - Jesus.
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
738. - Hi, boys. Great view.
- Hello, there. How are you?
Copy !req
739. I give it an 8.3.
Copy !req
740. We can't just leave him there, you know.
Copy !req
741. Girl. Beach. Sand. Surf. Moonlight.
Did you ever see Here to Eternity?
Copy !req
742. You are right. We better get him.
Copy !req
743. - Thirty minutes. Then we call the cops.
- Not a second more.
Copy !req
744. Ladies, how are you?
Copy !req
745. Hi.
Copy !req
746. Hi.
Copy !req
747. Are we allowed to talk or anything?
Copy !req
748. Why did you leave the party?
Copy !req
749. I just don't feel comfortable
with most of those people.
Copy !req
750. I don't really know any of those people.
I just know, knew, know Bernie.
Copy !req
751. Besides, I figure
I can thank Bernie tomorrow.
Copy !req
752. When there's more privacy.
Copy !req
753. - Where are we going?
- There's a beautiful view from up there.
Copy !req
754. Great.
Copy !req
755. Ever been in a lighthouse before?
Copy !req
756. No, this is my first time. This is great.
Copy !req
757. Does anybody live up there?
A lighthouse keeper or someone?
Copy !req
758. No, It's all automated now. Come on.
Copy !req
759. That takes some of the romance out of it.
Copy !req
760. Does it?
Copy !req
761. - You all right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
762. You're right. This is beautiful.
Copy !req
763. My God.
You can see the whole island from up here.
Copy !req
764. I've always wondered
how these things work.
Copy !req
765. Richard, don't.
Copy !req
766. - I can't see.
- Watch out for the trap...
Copy !req
767. door.
Copy !req
768. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
769. - That one works.
- Richard.
Copy !req
770. - Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Copy !req
771. - Are you sure?
- I fell down a couple of stairs.
Copy !req
772. - Anything broken?
- Nothing's broken.
Copy !req
773. - Are you sure?
- A little pain, but I'm all right.
Copy !req
774. - I'm fine. How are you?
- I'm good.
Copy !req
775. Here. Hold on.
Copy !req
776. The good news is, I can see again.
Copy !req
777. - I'm so sorry, Richard.
- No, it's okay, really.
Copy !req
778. I've always wanted a limp.
Copy !req
779. I must thank you.
This has been a great date.
Copy !req
780. I hope my major medical covers it.
Copy !req
781. What?
Copy !req
782. I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh...
Copy !req
783. but the look on your face
when you fell through the trapdoor.
Copy !req
784. I think I've got a cracked rib.
Copy !req
785. - Do you want to sit down?
- No.
Copy !req
786. No, I better not. The way things are going,
I'm gonna break my ass.
Copy !req
787. You'll be okay.
Copy !req
788. I've had a crush on you
since the first day I saw you at work.
Copy !req
789. I'm crazy about you.
Copy !req
790. This is so right.
Copy !req
791. Oh, my God. This can't be happening to me.
Copy !req
792. It's happening to both of us.
You're right. It's so right.
Copy !req
793. No. This isn't right, it's all wrong.
Not here in the sand.
Copy !req
794. - What?
- You deserve more than this.
Copy !req
795. You need music, flowers, candles.
You need...
Copy !req
796. You need to get out of here.
Copy !req
797. - Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm serious. You could catch a cold.
Copy !req
798. - Where do you live?
- Dune Walk.
Copy !req
799. Are you dead, too?
Copy !req
800. Mister? Hello?
Copy !req
801. Oh, Jesus. What is it with this place?
Copy !req
802. How are you? Party's over.
You have to go home now.
Copy !req
803. - Where's Bernie?
- He's swimming.
Copy !req
804. I had a wonderful time.
I'm sorry I had to leave so early.
Copy !req
805. Have fun. See you at the next one. Larry!
Copy !req
806. Larry, are you in there?
Copy !req
807. - Come on out, Lar. Right now.
- Go away.
Copy !req
808. I need to talk to you.
Copy !req
809. Can you just give me 30 seconds?
Copy !req
810. Bernie is waiting for us.
Copy !req
811. - Look, Bernie isn't going anywhere, okay?
- I need you, Lar.
Copy !req
812. Bernie, he needs you, too.
Copy !req
813. Unbelievable.
Copy !req
814. How am I supposed to know
that the tide is gonna come up that high?
Copy !req
815. I don't want to talk about it.
Copy !req
816. I don't understand why this is becoming
all my fault.
Copy !req
817. - Did you invite somebody over?
- Of course not.
Copy !req
818. Somebody's here.
Copy !req
819. Let's just shove him in the bedroom,
we'll say he's sleeping.
Copy !req
820. Bernie, you cheat.
Copy !req
821. Two-timer.
Copy !req
822. Bernie, open up.
Copy !req
823. Darn you, Bernie.
Copy !req
824. Don't do this to me.
Copy !req
825. Where the hell are you, you son of a bitch?
Copy !req
826. I got you now, you two-timing bastard.
Copy !req
827. Who the hell are you? Where's Bernie?
Copy !req
828. We're Bernie's houseguests. Who are you?
Copy !req
829. I'm his woman.
Copy !req
830. And I'll kill him if he's cheating on me.
Now, where the hell is he?
Copy !req
831. And don't try to cover up for him, either.
Copy !req
832. - He's not here.
- Haven't seen him.
Copy !req
833. I don't believe you.
Copy !req
834. I'm gonna tear this place apart.
Copy !req
835. - That's his woman?
- I guess so.
Copy !req
836. Where the hell is he?
Copy !req
837. - He's in the bedroom.
- Is that so?
Copy !req
838. He better be alone.
Copy !req
839. God damn it.
Copy !req
840. Fun while it lasted, huh?
Copy !req
841. What difference does it make,
we might as well get this over with.
Copy !req
842. This is good. She discovers the body,
she calls the police.
Copy !req
843. Fix me a drink, will you?
Copy !req
844. I hate it when they scream.
Copy !req
845. Oh, no!
Copy !req
846. What gives? She has been up there, what,
Copy !req
847. I don't get it.
Copy !req
848. Got a little scotch?
Copy !req
849. Sure.
Copy !req
850. - Did everything go okay up there?
- Never been better.
Copy !req
851. Good.
Copy !req
852. How do you like that?
The guy gets laid more dead than I do alive.
Copy !req
853. No, she couldn't have.
Copy !req
854. He couldn't have.
Copy !req
855. I get yelled at when I just lay there.
Copy !req
856. Vito, I'm telling you, Lomax is alive.
She was with him for at least half an hour...
Copy !req
857. - in the bedroom.
- What were they doing in the bedroom?
Copy !req
858. I'd rather not say.
Copy !req
859. What the hell happened to Paulie?
Copy !req
860. Yeah, maybe Paulie
is rustier than we thought, huh?
Copy !req
861. - What a night.
- Great, isn't it? It isn't over yet.
Copy !req
862. It is for me. I'm dead. No offense, Bernie.
Copy !req
863. I just gotta lie down for a minute.
Copy !req
864. Suit yourself. Whatever you like.
I'm going on to find the next party.
Copy !req
865. - Just wake me up when you get back.
- Okay, sure.
Copy !req
866. - Whatever you like.
- Because I got to call the cops.
Copy !req
867. - Of course you do. In the morning.
- I need a clear head.
Copy !req
868. Good night, buddy.
Copy !req
869. Don't forget. Wake me up.
Copy !req
870. I made these a little sweeter this time.
Okay, Bernie?
Copy !req
871. God, it's glorious out, huh?
Copy !req
872. Here we go, my friend.
Copy !req
873. This should do it.
Copy !req
874. Okay.
Copy !req
875. How did you deal with?
Copy !req
876. Oriental? I think I own that one.
Copy !req
877. With hotel.
Copy !req
878. $550.
Copy !req
879. Give me $600, we'll call it square.
Copy !req
880. Hey, Bernie, Larry.
Copy !req
881. Great party last night, Bernie.
Your best ever.
Copy !req
882. Ladies. Hello. How are you today?
Copy !req
883. - Great.
- Fine.
Copy !req
884. - Are we doing it again today?
- Absolutely. You know we are.
Copy !req
885. - Great. We'll see you later, guys.
- Bye-bye.
Copy !req
886. Bye-bye, ladies. We'll see you later.
Copy !req
887. Is this great or what?
Copy !req
888. Okay, coming out. My turn.
Copy !req
889. Shooter now.
Copy !req
890. Yes! Free parking. $500 for me.
Copy !req
891. Bastard!
Copy !req
892. I own it. Okay, that is $24...
Copy !req
893. I own them all. $46, my friend. Call it $50.
Copy !req
894. Thank you. My turn. Here we go.
Copy !req
895. Lucky seven coming out.
Copy !req
896. Shit.
Copy !req
897. One more you get out of jail free.
All right. Fine. Your turn. I'll roll.
Copy !req
898. Here we go. Coming out.
Copy !req
899. Community Chest.
Copy !req
900. Second prize in a beauty contest.
Copy !req
901. - What are you doing?
- Playing Monopoly. You want to play?
Copy !req
902. - No.
- Here we go.
Copy !req
903. - How did he get down here?
- He walked.
Copy !req
904. - He walked?
- Say good morning.
Copy !req
905. Oh, God. You're just a sick man, Larry.
Copy !req
906. - What time is it?
- It's 11:30.
Copy !req
907. You let me sleep till 11:30? I have...
Copy !req
908. - When did you get a Rolex?
- Oh, this.
Copy !req
909. - Good God!
- He didn't need it anymore.
Copy !req
910. That's it. We're gonna go to jail.
They're gonna arrest us.
Copy !req
911. - I'm calling the cops.
- I wanted to call them yesterday, my friend.
Copy !req
912. He's very upset. Richard, look.
Copy !req
913. Let me just say one thing here.
There's no reason to get pissy about this.
Copy !req
914. Hello.
Copy !req
915. - Richard?
- It's for you.
Copy !req
916. - Gwen.
- Hi.
Copy !req
917. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
918. I just came by to talk to Bernie.
I didn't get a chance to last night, so...
Copy !req
919. Oh, no. Bernie and I
are in a very big business meeting.
Copy !req
920. - Now?
- Yes.
Copy !req
921. Bernie has such little time,
so can you come back later?
Copy !req
922. Wait a minute.
What happened to Mr. Romantic?
Copy !req
923. - Candlelight? Flowers?
- I know. But Bernie is tied up right now.
Copy !req
924. - It's a bad time.
- What is going on, Richard?
Copy !req
925. Okay. I'll tell you.
Copy !req
926. I probably shouldn't,
I know I shouldn't, but...
Copy !req
927. at this point, why not? Mr. Lomax is...
Copy !req
928. my boss. I work for him
at the insurance company.
Copy !req
929. Bernie, you're starting to peel.
Copy !req
930. Better get you out of the sun, huh?
Copy !req
931. Here we go.
Copy !req
932. We were really looking forward
to coming out here...
Copy !req
933. when we got here, Mr. Lomax...
Copy !req
934. Bernie was...
Copy !req
935. dead.
Copy !req
936. Dead.
Copy !req
937. Like your mother and father were dead.
And your aunt is dead, too?
Copy !req
938. Different kind of dead.
Copy !req
939. You son of a bitch. I got you.
Copy !req
940. Then how come I saw Bernie
with you and your friend at the party?
Copy !req
941. Because...
Copy !req
942. You don't believe me?
Copy !req
943. Okay, I'm gonna prove it to you. Come on.
Copy !req
944. This is not going to be fun.
Copy !req
945. I know you think I'm crazy, but...
Copy !req
946. Well?
Copy !req
947. Where is Bernie?
Copy !req
948. Oh, hello.
Copy !req
949. - Where's Bernie?
- He went for more daiquiri mix.
Copy !req
950. No, he didn't.
Copy !req
951. Richard, I don't know what
this game is you're playing...
Copy !req
952. but this is ridiculous.
Copy !req
953. - I'm out of here.
- Gwen, I'm not playing any games with you.
Copy !req
954. I'm telling you the truth! Bernie is here.
Copy !req
955. Where is Bernie?
Copy !req
956. What, you bastard, did you do with Bernie?
Copy !req
957. I'm phoning the police.
Copy !req
958. There's no dial tone. With 97 buttons...
Copy !req
959. - Where is your house?
- Where is the off button?
Copy !req
960. Look, Paulie, just don't kill them
while I'm around.
Copy !req
961. - Bernie, we're on a phone here.
- You're right.
Copy !req
962. - Play that back.
- I just got it stopped.
Copy !req
963. Play it back, please.
Copy !req
964. Hey, Lomax, it's Paulie.
I just got to the island.
Copy !req
965. You're early.
Copy !req
966. Those two schmucks
won't come until the 6:00 ferry...
Copy !req
967. - and I still have to plant the note.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
968. - Where is your house?
- It's on the point, top of the dune.
Copy !req
969. Look, Paulie...
Copy !req
970. - don't kill them while I'm around.
- Bernie, we're on the phone here.
Copy !req
971. You're right. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
972. The point is, I just want to be
back in New York with an alibi.
Copy !req
973. Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
974. We were on the 6:00 ferry.
Copy !req
975. And we're two schmucks.
Copy !req
976. - Kill us?
- Lomax?
Copy !req
977. Bernie is gonna have us killed?
Copy !req
978. Kill us?
Copy !req
979. - Why?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
980. Unless he's the one
whose been stealing from the company.
Copy !req
981. Son of a bitch. He's gonna kill me!
Copy !req
982. I liked the guy.
Copy !req
983. Okay.
Copy !req
984. He said something about a note, right?
Copy !req
985. - I know, Richard.
- Let's find it.
Copy !req
986. Bernie, you lying swine.
Copy !req
987. Holy crap!
Copy !req
988. What?
Copy !req
989. - There's a $100,000 here easy.
- This is the note. Listen.
Copy !req
990. "Richard Parker and I
stole this money from the company...
Copy !req
991. - "to pay for my sex change operation."
- What?
Copy !req
992. That's what it says.
Copy !req
993. "Now he tells me he loves someone else.
I can't live with that, and neither will he."
Copy !req
994. It's got my name on it.
Copy !req
995. Oh, God.
Copy !req
996. Son of a bitch. It's not bad enough
that he's trying to kill me...
Copy !req
997. now he's turning me into a drag queen.
Copy !req
998. Why couldn't he say
you were having the operation?
Copy !req
999. - It doesn't matter.
- It does matter, Richard.
Copy !req
1000. - I've a reputation to protect here.
- For Christ's sakes, Larry!
Copy !req
1001. No one is going
to have a sex change operation.
Copy !req
1002. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1003. I got to call the cops.
Copy !req
1004. - Operator.
- Operator, the police, please.
Copy !req
1005. You mean Ed?
He's out on the beach somewhere.
Copy !req
1006. When do you expect Ed back?
It's a bit of an emergency.
Copy !req
1007. I don't know. Wanna leave a message?
Copy !req
1008. - Yeah. Help!
- Okay.
Copy !req
1009. Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
1010. We have to get off this island,
and maybe not get killed doing it.
Copy !req
1011. - Wait a minute.
- Tell me you have a brilliant idea.
Copy !req
1012. - I have an idea.
- What is it?
Copy !req
1013. Lomax told whoever he was talking to
not to kill us if he's around, right?
Copy !req
1014. But Lomax is dead.
He isn't around anybody anymore.
Copy !req
1015. I know that. You know that.
Copy !req
1016. Nobody else knows that.
Copy !req
1017. Where's Bernie?
Copy !req
1018. Right there.
Copy !req
1019. There's no Bernie.
Copy !req
1020. He's gotta to be, Rich.
I dumped him here myself.
Copy !req
1021. Where is he?
Copy !req
1022. - Larry.
- What?
Copy !req
1023. - Excuse me.
- Hey, kid.
Copy !req
1024. - What are you doing?
- What do you want?
Copy !req
1025. - You little brat!
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
1026. Get out of there.
Copy !req
1027. - What the hell are you doing?
- You can't do that.
Copy !req
1028. This is private property.
Copy !req
1029. - You're talking to me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1030. - Shut up.
- Who are you... You lousy...
Copy !req
1031. You better be gone by the time we get there.
Copy !req
1032. - Scram! Get out of here!
- You little bastard.
Copy !req
1033. How'd you like to kiss this?
Copy !req
1034. - We have bigger problems.
- Kiss my ass.
Copy !req
1035. - What kind of home training is that?
- He buried all of Bernie.
Copy !req
1036. Jesus.
Copy !req
1037. Come on.
Copy !req
1038. - Good thing for you, you're dead, pal.
- I actually felt sorry for you, you rat shit.
Copy !req
1039. He looks good enough. Let's go.
Copy !req
1040. - Larry.
- What?
Copy !req
1041. Jesus.
Copy !req
1042. I never knew he wore a toupee.
You can hardly tell.
Copy !req
1043. Who cares? What are we gonna do about it?
We can't take him out like this.
Copy !req
1044. The killer might not know it's Bernie
and shoot us.
Copy !req
1045. - So long, Lar, it has been fun but not really.
- Goodbye, Rich.
Copy !req
1046. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is...
Copy !req
1047. Jesus.
Copy !req
1048. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is...
Copy !req
1049. You little bastard.
Copy !req
1050. - Get back here, you little monster.
- Never mind him.
Copy !req
1051. I'm gonna rip your gums out!
Copy !req
1052. - I'm gonna get that little kid.
- What are we gonna do with Bernie?
Copy !req
1053. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1054. Come on, Bernie. Up.
Copy !req
1055. Put it on him.
Copy !req
1056. Brilliant.
Copy !req
1057. - Sambuca on the rocks.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1058. Here we go. Ready. Up.
Copy !req
1059. You take him down. I'll get the cart.
Copy !req
1060. Hey, Bernie!
Copy !req
1061. Bernie, wait a minute.
Copy !req
1062. - That guy talking to us?
- Who cares? Get out of here.
Copy !req
1063. Bernie, I've got to talk to you.
Copy !req
1064. Bernie, come on.
Copy !req
1065. - Hey, Bernie. Looking good.
- Hi.
Copy !req
1066. - Hi, Bernie.
- Hello.
Copy !req
1067. - Great party last night, Bern.
- How are you?
Copy !req
1068. Bernie, I've got to talk to you.
Copy !req
1069. Jesus. He's behind us.
Copy !req
1070. Shit! Is that the killer?
Copy !req
1071. How do I know, Richard?
Should I stop and ask him?
Copy !req
1072. No. Just drive. Just go.
Copy !req
1073. Bernie, I gotta talk to you.
Copy !req
1074. - Doesn't this thing go any faster?
- This is it.
Copy !req
1075. We gotta talk.
Copy !req
1076. What about our arrangement?
Copy !req
1077. Come on, Larry. Move it.
Copy !req
1078. Hey, Bernie. The Maserati.
I painted it black for you.
Copy !req
1079. The Maserati!
Copy !req
1080. Ferry's gonna leave.
Copy !req
1081. Hold it. Wait. Stop this for a second.
Copy !req
1082. Let's go.
Copy !req
1083. Rich, grab him. Grab a leg.
Copy !req
1084. Wait.
Copy !req
1085. We can't just drag him in.
He's got to look like he's alive.
Copy !req
1086. Idea.
Copy !req
1087. Your right leg on three, ready?
Here we go. One, two, three, go.
Copy !req
1088. Hold the boat!
Copy !req
1089. Got it? Hold the boat.
Copy !req
1090. Hold that boat.
Copy !req
1091. Hold it.
Copy !req
1092. - Hi, Bern.
- How are you doing?
Copy !req
1093. Hold the boat!
Copy !req
1094. Hold the boat, please.
Copy !req
1095. Hold on. We'll be right there.
Copy !req
1096. We're coming.
Copy !req
1097. Come on, Bern.
Copy !req
1098. Hold it. Hold the boat.
Copy !req
1099. Shit! What do we do?
Copy !req
1100. Stop the boat.
Copy !req
1101. Look at this fool.
He wants to get off, we want to get on.
Copy !req
1102. - I'm gonna kill you.
- What?
Copy !req
1103. You don't have to worry about
anybody else murdering you...
Copy !req
1104. because I'll do it. This was all your fault.
Copy !req
1105. - We'll die on this crummy island.
- Let me remind you...
Copy !req
1106. you're the one who did the extra work
on the computer.
Copy !req
1107. If it wasn't for me
you'd be fired six months ago.
Copy !req
1108. You can't even work the coffee machine.
Copy !req
1109. A little brownnosing, ass kissing,
to work our way up that corporate ladder.
Copy !req
1110. Why can't you be a lazy shit like I am?
Copy !req
1111. Somebody talk to the captain.
Copy !req
1112. I've got to get off the boat.
Copy !req
1113. - Let's go.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1114. Please.
Copy !req
1115. Somebody talk to the captain.
Copy !req
1116. - I'm sorry, but we're still gonna die.
- Not if Bernie's with us.
Copy !req
1117. Great, I hope the killer keeps that in mind.
Copy !req
1118. Larry, please tell me
how we're going to get off this island.
Copy !req
1119. - We got a boat.
- What boat?
Copy !req
1120. Lomax's boat.
Copy !req
1121. - Tawny brought the keys back, remember?
- Right. Okay.
Copy !req
1122. You go and get them,
I'll stay here with Bernie.
Copy !req
1123. I'm not going anywhere without Bernie.
Copy !req
1124. You go back, get the keys.
I'll stay with Bernie.
Copy !req
1125. We'll all go back to the house.
We'll all get the goddamn keys.
Copy !req
1126. - We'll all stay with Bernie.
- Fine.
Copy !req
1127. Hurry up.
Copy !req
1128. Move it.
Copy !req
1129. Hold up.
Copy !req
1130. Okay. The keys.
Copy !req
1131. - Here they are.
- Got it. Let's go.
Copy !req
1132. Oh, my God, Richard!
Copy !req
1133. It's the killer.
Copy !req
1134. Get the door.
Copy !req
1135. Quiet.
Copy !req
1136. - Lock it.
- I can't lock it.
Copy !req
1137. I only have a key to the boat.
Copy !req
1138. Kitchen.
Copy !req
1139. - There's no door. Back door.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1140. Don't panic.
Copy !req
1141. Do something, Rich.
Copy !req
1142. I got Bernie, you get the guy.
Copy !req
1143. Do something, Rich.
Copy !req
1144. Get him, Rich.
Copy !req
1145. You in here, Lomax? You little bastard.
Copy !req
1146. You jerk.
Copy !req
1147. Kick me in the ass.
Copy !req
1148. It's my turn now.
Copy !req
1149. Got him, Lar.
Copy !req
1150. There's another one.
Copy !req
1151. He's got a knife.
Copy !req
1152. Mr. Lomax.
Copy !req
1153. What the hell?
Copy !req
1154. - You can come out now, Rambo.
- You sure, Rich?
Copy !req
1155. Good job.
Copy !req
1156. - Two killers.
- Anybody could be the killer.
Copy !req
1157. - Jesus, we gotta get rid of them.
- Let's shove them in the kitchen pantry.
Copy !req
1158. I don't know why
I have to carry the heavy guy.
Copy !req
1159. Get his legs.
Copy !req
1160. Larry, let me out.
Copy !req
1161. Here comes Bernie.
Copy !req
1162. Coming through!
Copy !req
1163. There it is. Stop.
Copy !req
1164. Hi, guys.
Copy !req
1165. Ready? On three, here we go.
One, two, three.
Copy !req
1166. Let's go.
Copy !req
1167. Okay. Untie us.
Copy !req
1168. Okay?
Copy !req
1169. - Give me the keys.
- Have you ever driven a boat before?
Copy !req
1170. I was born on a boat.
Copy !req
1171. This is a fancy boat.
Copy !req
1172. - Push something.
- I am, Richard.
Copy !req
1173. - Nothing's happening.
- I know.
Copy !req
1174. - Push something else.
- Something's happening.
Copy !req
1175. Something's definitely
happening here, huh?
Copy !req
1176. Wait a minute, hold on.
Copy !req
1177. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Copy !req
1178. - I know it's here.
- Just keep pressing those buttons.
Copy !req
1179. I'm pressing. I pressed that button.
Copy !req
1180. - Nothing is happening, Larry.
- I know that.
Copy !req
1181. - Did you try the key?
- Don't insult my intelligence.
Copy !req
1182. - Try the key again.
- Fine.
Copy !req
1183. See that?
Copy !req
1184. - Here we go!
- We're going home. Give it some gas now.
Copy !req
1185. Giving it gas.
Copy !req
1186. Gas.
Copy !req
1187. - Nothing's happening.
- More gas.
Copy !req
1188. A little more gas.
Copy !req
1189. We're not moving. Why aren't we moving?
Copy !req
1190. I don't know.
Copy !req
1191. - Larry, you said you've done this before.
- It's different than my boat, okay?
Copy !req
1192. Don't panic.
Copy !req
1193. Stop the boat, Larry.
Copy !req
1194. Stop!
Copy !req
1195. Back it up.
Copy !req
1196. We got it.
Copy !req
1197. - What's going on?
- That's illegal.
Copy !req
1198. - What you're doing is illegal.
- You have a nice day now.
Copy !req
1199. Are you nuts?
Copy !req
1200. - Got it now. Moving forward. Hold on.
- Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1201. Sorry, Rich. Coming back.
Copy !req
1202. Coming around.
Copy !req
1203. Why is this happening to me?
Copy !req
1204. Coming back.
Copy !req
1205. - Here we are.
- Stop the boat. Idiot.
Copy !req
1206. Stop the boat!
Copy !req
1207. - Where are the brakes?
- Boats don't have brakes, Captain.
Copy !req
1208. You're kidding. How do they stop?
Copy !req
1209. Throw the anchor.
Copy !req
1210. The anchor, throw it.
Copy !req
1211. - They're headed for us.
- Here we go.
Copy !req
1212. Whatever you're doing, don't.
Copy !req
1213. Sorry.
Copy !req
1214. You broke my watch.
Copy !req
1215. Mine still works.
Copy !req
1216. You better put that thing
back on the dead body.
Copy !req
1217. Drive the boat, Richard.
Copy !req
1218. The cops are gonna take
our fat heads to jail.
Copy !req
1219. My God. Look at them.
Copy !req
1220. Ladies, how are you?
Copy !req
1221. Hello, Betty.
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1222. God! Just once, I'd like a woman like that.
Copy !req
1223. Let's party.
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1224. Turn the boat.
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1225. Watch the fishermen.
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1226. - Watch the wake!
- Duck!
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1227. Watch the wake, Richard!
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1228. This is tougher than it looks.
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1229. You're doing very well, Richard.
Copy !req
1230. - Sorry I snapped at you.
- It's okay.
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1231. I've never been chased by a killer before.
Copy !req
1232. It's all right. You're doing very well.
Copy !req
1233. - Why is everybody waving at us?
- I'm popular.
Copy !req
1234. I see.
Copy !req
1235. Hey, Bernie, showing off again?
Copy !req
1236. Oh, God. What the hell are those things?
Copy !req
1237. Those are obviously channel markers.
Copy !req
1238. Obviously.
Copy !req
1239. Okay, wise ass, do you know
what side I'm supposed to pass on?
Copy !req
1240. That I don't know. Just stay close.
What else can happen here?
Copy !req
1241. I've got no idea.
Copy !req
1242. - Serpentine.
- Is that close enough?
Copy !req
1243. Do you hear something?
Copy !req
1244. - There it's again.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1245. - I wonder what that is.
- What is that?
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1246. - Man overboard.
- What?
Copy !req
1247. Stop the boat.
Copy !req
1248. He's got nice form.
Copy !req
1249. - I don't know.
- I'm trying to drive a boat.
Copy !req
1250. - You're doing well.
- Trying to get us off this island of hell.
Copy !req
1251. You had maybe one job to do.
Watch a dead body.
Copy !req
1252. - Well, let's not argue about it.
- Jesus.
Copy !req
1253. - You were the one who tied him up.
- Don't blame this all on me.
Copy !req
1254. - Oh, my God.
- What?
Copy !req
1255. You've lost my sunglasses.
Copy !req
1256. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1257. I haven't got a clue.
Copy !req
1258. I don't believe this.
Copy !req
1259. What?
Copy !req
1260. We're out of gas.
Copy !req
1261. Paddling in the Atlantic Ocean...
Copy !req
1262. - on a dead body.
- I'm getting swimmer's ear.
Copy !req
1263. This is now the perfect weekend.
Copy !req
1264. It started when I almost broke my leg
jumping on a moving ferry.
Copy !req
1265. I get to this beautiful beach and my host...
Sorry, he's dead.
Copy !req
1266. Hampton Island.
Copy !req
1267. Checkers. Excuse me, sir.
Is this your launch?
Copy !req
1268. - Come on, let's go.
- Don't rush.
Copy !req
1269. Come on.
Copy !req
1270. - Can you put a little snap in it, fellows?
- Okay, Cappy.
Copy !req
1271. Hold on, you damn fool.
Copy !req
1272. I fell down a lighthouse.
I had a corpse wash up...
Copy !req
1273. next to me on the shore.
Copy !req
1274. And then I find out that my dead boss
is not only a thief, he wants to kill me.
Copy !req
1275. I almost drown.
Copy !req
1276. The girl of my dreams
now thinks I'm a raving lunatic.
Copy !req
1277. You mean what's- her-name?
Copy !req
1278. And, now, we're going back
to the house of death.
Copy !req
1279. - Great weekend, huh?
- Great weekend!
Copy !req
1280. Just get here as fast as you can.
Thanks, Ed.
Copy !req
1281. Police is on the way.
Copy !req
1282. Can just lock ourselves in
until they get here?
Copy !req
1283. I hate it when he stares at me like that.
Copy !req
1284. Let's go.
Copy !req
1285. Put him in his bathroom.
Copy !req
1286. - Bernie's picked up a little weight.
- What do you expect?
Copy !req
1287. He's been soaking in the ocean
for two hours.
Copy !req
1288. Made a damn good float though.
Copy !req
1289. Are you in here?
Copy !req
1290. It's Gwen.
Copy !req
1291. Hi, Gwen.
Copy !req
1292. You've got to be the weirdest guy
I've ever met.
Copy !req
1293. You told me Bernie was dead, right?
Copy !req
1294. I just saw you with him.
Copy !req
1295. What's your explanation this time?
Copy !req
1296. I don't mean to be rude,
but get the hell out of here.
Copy !req
1297. No, I'm not going anywhere
until you tell me what is going on.
Copy !req
1298. Listen to me!
Copy !req
1299. You're in danger here,
leave unless you want to get shot.
Copy !req
1300. Lomax is dead,
somebody is trying to kill us.
Copy !req
1301. Can we stay at your house
until the cops come or what?
Copy !req
1302. It's just Bernie.
Copy !req
1303. Gwen, listen to me.
Copy !req
1304. We didn't do this to him.
Do we look like we could kill someone?
Copy !req
1305. Honey, have a drink, relax. You'll be fine.
Copy !req
1306. Let me rephrase that.
Do I look like I could kill someone?
Copy !req
1307. What is going on in there?
Copy !req
1308. - Which one of you bastards hit me?
- Son of a bitch.
Copy !req
1309. You want to get your butt kicked?
Copy !req
1310. I can explain.
Copy !req
1311. Company.
Copy !req
1312. I didn't see anything.
I was looking at my watch.
Copy !req
1313. I'm blind.
Copy !req
1314. It's empty.
Copy !req
1315. That's right. But this ain't.
Copy !req
1316. Run!
Copy !req
1317. Move it! This way!
Copy !req
1318. It's locked.
Copy !req
1319. What are you doing?
We're friends of Bernie's.
Copy !req
1320. I hate Bernie's friends.
Copy !req
1321. This way.
Copy !req
1322. To the bedroom.
Copy !req
1323. Come on, let's go. Up.
Copy !req
1324. You're dead meat, you little bastards.
Copy !req
1325. Now I'm really mad!
Copy !req
1326. Wait.
Copy !req
1327. - What?
- You take Gwen, you go hide...
Copy !req
1328. I'll let him chase me,
you try and call the cops, okay?
Copy !req
1329. Okay? That's it? No arguments?
Copy !req
1330. I'll get you all, one by one.
Copy !req
1331. There's no place to hide.
Copy !req
1332. I'm gonna die.
Copy !req
1333. You kicked me, you bastard.
Copy !req
1334. Shit! Out of bullets.
Copy !req
1335. Sit the hell down.
Copy !req
1336. Hang on, Lar.
Copy !req
1337. - Coming.
- I got him.
Copy !req
1338. Get off.
Copy !req
1339. - Hang on, Lar.
- I got him.
Copy !req
1340. Stand up. Fight like a man.
Come on. Put them up, you chicken.
Copy !req
1341. Watch this, Richard.
Copy !req
1342. All right, Lar.
Copy !req
1343. Fists of steel.
Copy !req
1344. Bernie, let go of me.
Copy !req
1345. I always liked you, Bernie.
Copy !req
1346. I got it, thanks.
Copy !req
1347. Just a little closer. Just get the two of us.
Copy !req
1348. Get the handshake in, okay?
Copy !req
1349. Wait a minute. I think I blinked. Did I blink?
I think I blinked a second there.
Copy !req
1350. - He blinked.
- He blinked. I saw him.
Copy !req
1351. Make sure he's wrapped up good.
Copy !req
1352. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1353. I didn't kill him. He's not dead.
Copy !req
1354. I tried to kill him.
Copy !req
1355. Look at him. He's alive.
Copy !req
1356. - He's not dead. He's alive.
- Move it.
Copy !req
1357. That man is alive!
Copy !req
1358. Now what?
Copy !req
1359. Now I'm gonna take a week off.
Copy !req
1360. You're taking a vacation?
The man who won't take a coffee break?
Copy !req
1361. Gwen just invited me to stay with her.
What should I say?
Copy !req
1362. You're kidding me. You invited him?
You fool. That's fabulous.
Copy !req
1363. You deserve it, Richard.
The company owes you.
Copy !req
1364. Just a couple of days
until Gwen leaves for school.
Copy !req
1365. There's plenty of room
if you want to stay, Lar.
Copy !req
1366. Me? Oh, no, thanks.
I'll just tough it out here at Bernie's.
Copy !req
1367. I hear the party Saturday night is
better than Friday, actually.
Copy !req
1368. What is going on?
Copy !req
1369. - What's happened?
- Didn't you hear? Bernie Lomax got killed.
Copy !req
1370. - No.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1371. - Did you go to that party last night?
- No.
Copy !req
1372. Lawrence, you done real good.
I'm proud of you.
Copy !req
1373. Yeah, I did okay, huh? Surprised myself.
Copy !req
1374. You did great, Rich.
Copy !req
1375. Hi, Bernie. See you at the party tonight.
Copy !req
1376. What?
Copy !req
1377. What did she say?
Copy !req
1378. Mister, can I bury you?
Copy !req
1379. Great!
Copy !req