1. Good morning, ladies.Copy !req
2. Hello.Copy !req
3. Hello!Copy !req
4. Thank you.Copy !req
5. Mmm.Copy !req
6. Babe.Copy !req
7. I need a second opinion.Copy !req
8. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
9. What is it?Copy !req
10. Um,
it's a Douglas fir parfait.Copy !req
11. Oh.Copy !req
12. - Darling, what time is it?
- Please.Copy !req
13. Please can you just try it?Copy !req
14. Hmm.Copy !req
15. Okay.Copy !req
16. So no gush or trickle or fluidCopy !req
17. or unusual amount of dampness
in your underwear?Copy !req
18. - Uh-uh.
- Mucus plug?Copy !req
19. Who even are you?Copy !req
20. Erm, okay.Copy !req
21. Fluids?Copy !req
22. Didn't you just ask me
that question?Copy !req
23. - No, to drink. Have you...
- No, nothing.Copy !req
24. Jesus.Copy !req
25. Make sure you keep drinking.Copy !req
26. Okay.Copy !req
27. So as and when you, erm...
You have any...Copy !req
28. Yeah, you'll be
the first to know.Copy !req
29. Good to go on that.Copy !req
30. Just a little more.Copy !req
31. - Table five.
- Yes, Chef.Copy !req
32. Sauce?Copy !req
33. Right,
that's ready for service.Copy !req
34. Don't look so terrified, Chef.Copy !req
35. - That's fucking majestic.
- Thank you, Chef.Copy !req
36. Chef?Copy !req
37. Do you need anything?Copy !req
38. No, I'm fine, I'm fine.Copy !req
39. Leave me alone.
Go back to your station.Copy !req
40. So what happens now?Copy !req
41. I'm going to recommendCopy !req
42. starting with a course
of chemotherapy.Copy !req
43. Why not just remove it?Copy !req
44. Sorry, I mean, why...
Why can't we just operate?Copy !req
45. - Honestly?
- Yeah.Copy !req
46. It's too big.Copy !req
47. The first thing
we have to do is shrink it.Copy !req
48. Slow it down.Copy !req
49. Once we achieve that,
then we can operate.Copy !req
50. And then... And then what?Copy !req
51. Once you recover from surgery,Copy !req
52. you'll need to completeCopy !req
53. another course
of chemotherapy.Copy !req
54. We really don't want to be
leaving anything behind here.Copy !req
55. Hmm.Copy !req
56. Given this is a reoccurrence,Copy !req
57. we need an aggressive
treatment plan.Copy !req
58. Okay.Copy !req
59. So...Copy !req
60. Just to check that I...
It would go...Copy !req
61. - A course of chemotherapy...
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
62. followed by surgery,Copy !req
63. followed by another,
hopefully final...Copy !req
64. - course of chemotherapy?
- Correct.Copy !req
65. Okay, great.Copy !req
66. And what about work?Copy !req
67. What about work?Copy !req
68. Well, how much time off,
do you think,Copy !req
69. realistically,
we should be considering?Copy !req
70. What do you think?Copy !req
71. Well, given the physical
nature of your profession,Copy !req
72. honestly, if you
and your colleaguesCopy !req
73. can find a workable solution,Copy !req
74. I would advocate
stepping back.Copy !req
75. Maybe it's time
to finally get a dog.Copy !req
76. I read somewhere
that pets, dogs,Copy !req
77. are really good for children,Copy !req
78. helping them
to cope with, like,Copy !req
79. big, life stuff.Copy !req
80. Hmm.Copy !req
81. Because once they've gone
through the death of a pet,Copy !req
82. their abilityCopy !req
83. to handle all the other
terrible shit goes up.Copy !req
84. So...Copy !req
85. So you think
we should procure a dogCopy !req
86. in order to end its life
prematurely as a way of...Copy !req
87. I'm obviously not suggesting
we kill a dog.Copy !req
88. Maybe just a really old one.Copy !req
89. What...Copy !req
90. What would you say
if I said to you...Copy !req
91. Erm, I'm not sure...Copy !req
92. I know how to go through
all of that all over again?Copy !req
93. - Erm...
- 'Cos let's...Copy !req
94. Let's just say...Copy !req
95. Let's just say it goes to planCopy !req
96. and...Copy !req
97. In whatever it is,
like, six to eight months...Copy !req
98. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
99. I receive the all-clear
and it's greatCopy !req
100. and all of a sudden,Copy !req
101. it feels, like, great.Copy !req
102. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
103. That'd be great. Agreed, yeah.Copy !req
104. But what happens
if it doesn't?Copy !req
105. All of a sudden
you're in this weird positionCopy !req
106. where instead of making
the most out of those...Copy !req
107. six, seven, eight,
maybe nine months,Copy !req
108. you're gonna realise that
all you did was go baldCopy !req
109. and puke your guts up.Copy !req
110. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
111. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
112. So you're saying that
in that scenario,Copy !req
113. for you it would be...Copy !req
114. Erm, more
about quality than quantity?Copy !req
115. I'm saying I'm not
particularly interestedCopy !req
116. in a treatment planCopy !req
117. that accidentally
wastes our time.Copy !req
118. I'm saying,
in that particular scenario,Copy !req
119. I'd much rather we...Copy !req
120. We have six fucking amazing,
fantastic, proactive months...Copy !req
121. Than 12 really,
really shitty passive ones.Copy !req
122. I'm not saying I don't want
to do the treatment.Copy !req
123. I'm just saying...Copy !req
124. I want it to be
the right choice.Copy !req
125. Knock, knock.Copy !req
126. - Breakfast. You got time?
- Yeah.Copy !req
127. Kumquats or eggs?Copy !req
128. Mmm.Copy !req
129. You tell me.Copy !req
130. Then dealer's choice it is.Copy !req
131. - Nice threads, by the way.
- Oh.Copy !req
132. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
133. Hello,
my name is Tobias Durand.Copy !req
134. And I'm part of
the Weetabix IT team,Copy !req
135. fulfilling the role
of Master Data Steward.Copy !req
136. Fabulous.Copy !req
137. If you could just go ahead
and tell meCopy !req
138. what you had for breakfast
this morning.Copy !req
139. Honeyed kumquats on toast.Copy !req
140. Followed by
a bowl of Weetabix.Copy !req
141. Okey-dokey.Copy !req
142. I think the thing
that I enjoy mostCopy !req
143. about working here at WeetabixCopy !req
144. is the feeling of family.Copy !req
145. Despite the fact
that we're all of usCopy !req
146. part of a very large,
global brand,Copy !req
147. there's...Copy !req
148. There's still
a real family feeling.Copy !req
149. Okay.Copy !req
150. Okay.Copy !req
151. Divorce.Copy !req
152. Patient number 14.Copy !req
153. They needed the bed back.Copy !req
154. What's happened
to my underwear?Copy !req
155. Oh, I literally have no idea.Copy !req
156. This, erm...
This was all you...Copy !req
157. All you had on you.Copy !req
158. The Chocolate Orange was
pronounced dead at the scene.Copy !req
159. Er... Erm...Copy !req
160. I'm Almut, by the way.Copy !req
161. Almut?Copy !req
162. Almut.Copy !req
163. Tobias.Copy !req
164. So sorry,
but do we know each other?Copy !req
165. Oh.Copy !req
166. Yeah... No. Erm...Copy !req
167. Sorry. I...Copy !req
168. I... I ran you over.Copy !req
169. Oh.Copy !req
170. Patient number 17.Copy !req
171. Sorry.Copy !req
172. It's all right.Copy !req
173. Hello and welcome
to Red Wagon Diner.Copy !req
174. Here at Red Wagon Diner,Copy !req
175. we pride ourselves
on offering our customersCopy !req
176. a taste of the classic
'50s American dinerCopy !req
177. here on
the great British roadside.Copy !req
178. All our burgers are made
to our special recipeCopy !req
179. using 100% British beefCopy !req
180. and our top dollar shakes
are madeCopy !req
181. with real dairy ice cream
to die for.Copy !req
182. What can I get you?Copy !req
183. I work for Weetabix.Copy !req
184. As in the breakfast cereal?Copy !req
185. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
186. Well, the company...Copy !req
187. Sorry. The company also own...Copy !req
188. Weetos, Alpen,
Ready Brek. But, yeah.Copy !req
189. Wow.Copy !req
190. You must be really regular.Copy !req
191. Ow, ow.Copy !req
192. Um, how... How about yourself?Copy !req
193. I'm a chef/restaurant owner.Copy !req
194. Oh.Copy !req
195. Er, what kind of cuisine
do you, er...Copy !req
196. do?Copy !req
197. Er, modern European takes
on classic Alpine dishes.Copy !req
198. So, basically, Anglo-Bavarian.Copy !req
199. Well, that's the plan, anyway.Copy !req
200. Supposed to open
in a few weeks.Copy !req
201. How's it going?Copy !req
202. Er...Copy !req
203. Oh.Copy !req
204. Oh, no.Copy !req
205. No, it's going fine.Copy !req
206. It's gonna be great.Copy !req
207. You should come.Copy !req
208. No, honestly, I feel like
that's the least I could do.Copy !req
209. - Oh.
- And your wife too.Copy !req
210. - Darling?
- Yeah?Copy !req
211. Yeah.Copy !req
212. There is somethingCopy !req
213. that your daddy and I...Copy !req
214. Something that
mommy and me want to...Copy !req
215. We want to talk to you about.Copy !req
216. Yeah.
Something a little...Copy !req
217. A little bit important, actually.Copy !req
218. - It's a bit serious, though.
- Yeah.Copy !req
219. Yeah, a bit seriousCopy !req
220. - and a bit grown-up.
- Yeah.Copy !req
221. A bit serious, a bit grown-up,
a bit important.Copy !req
222. Yeah.Copy !req
223. So mommy didn't realize itCopy !req
224. but mommy's...Copy !req
225. mommy's actually
been feeling quite ill.Copy !req
226. Got a bit of a tummy ache,Copy !req
227. kind of a pretty nasty
tummy ache.Copy !req
228. And the doctors
have basically said...Copy !req
229. Hi, there! What a delicious
looking ice cream sundae.Copy !req
230. Yummo!Copy !req
231. My name's Noel.
What's your name?Copy !req
232. Ella, and I'm three.Copy !req
233. So sorry, we're actually
in the middle...Copy !req
234. How would you like
to see me makeCopy !req
235. this entire bottle disappear?Copy !req
236. - Yes, please.
- Noel? Noel, seriously.Copy !req
237. - We can't do this right now.
- This is not a good time.Copy !req
238. Will you help me say
the magic words?Copy !req
239. Noel!Copy !req
240. Go... Go away. Go away.Copy !req
241. Sorry, it's just not the time.Copy !req
242. So...Copy !req
243. Where were we?Copy !req
244. Mmm-hmm!Copy !req
245. That's too much tea.Copy !req
246. Can I make you one?Copy !req
247. All right, you two.Copy !req
248. It's bath time and
it's bedtime for both of you.Copy !req
249. No.Copy !req
250. Am I gonna have to come
and get you?Copy !req
251. - No.
- Are you nodding?Copy !req
252. - I'm gonna come and get you!
- Grab Teddy.Copy !req
253. What are we gonna do?
Do you want me to...Copy !req
254. - Oh, I don't know if I can...
- Oh!Copy !req
255. - Sorry, mommy.
- No!Copy !req
256. You tricked me!Copy !req
257. We're going
all the way. We're going...Copy !req
258. I like her best.Copy !req
259. - Yep.
- Yeah.Copy !req
260. - And I like her best.
- I know you do.Copy !req
261. She has great hair,
doesn't she?Copy !req
262. You were really great with her
this afternoon, by the way.Copy !req
263. Yeah, well...Copy !req
264. Yeah, I'm... I'm glad
we decided just to talk to herCopy !req
265. instead of killing a dog.Copy !req
266. Yeah.Copy !req
267. So...Copy !req
268. I was thinking...Copy !req
269. Maybe, erm,Copy !req
270. we...Copy !req
271. Should have some sexCopy !req
272. before my treatment begins.Copy !req
273. Now?Copy !req
274. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
275. I meant to say,Copy !req
276. I got the weirdest message
from Simon.Copy !req
277. You know,
Simon Maxson, my old boss?Copy !req
278. Well, he, erm...Copy !req
279. He wanted to know if I...Copy !req
280. If I was interested in trying
out for the Bocuse d'Or.Copy !req
281. As soon as all this is over,Copy !req
282. we're... We're gonna make sure
that you haveCopy !req
283. the opportunity and the timeCopy !req
284. to take on whatever it is
you want.Copy !req
285. But I really...Copy !req
286. I really think that right now
we ought to just slow downCopy !req
287. - and focus on get...
- Relax.Copy !req
288. I said no.Copy !req
289. Just thought
it was interesting,Copy !req
290. that's all.Copy !req
291. Yes!Copy !req
292. Come on.Copy !req
293. That was perfect!Copy !req
294. That's a perfect throw.Copy !req
295. Thank you for joining usCopy !req
296. in the countdown to our
New Year's Eve celebrations.Copy !req
297. What are you up to tonight?
Are you going out...Copy !req
298. - Oh!
- ... to watch some fireworks?Copy !req
299. - Staying in with the kids?
- Mmm.Copy !req
300. Have you got friends
coming round?Copy !req
301. - Mmm!
- Ring in and let us knowCopy !req
302. - what you're planning to do...
- Thank you.Copy !req
303. Mmm!Copy !req
304. Oh, fuck! Mmm, motherfucker!Copy !req
305. Oh!Copy !req
306. They're definitely getting
stronger, you know.Copy !req
307. Mmm.Copy !req
308. Lasting a minimum now
of 60 secondsCopy !req
309. every five to ten minutes.Copy !req
310. Great. Thank you.Copy !req
311. See you very soon.Copy !req
312. That's fine.Copy !req
313. That's fine.
Yeah?Copy !req
314. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
315. Mmm, hang on a second.
Hang on.Copy !req
316. Ooh. Yeah, yeah,
take a moment.Copy !req
317. Take a beat, take a beat.Copy !req
318. Okay.Copy !req
319. Ready?Copy !req
320. Okay.Copy !req
321. Here we go.Copy !req
322. Sorry.Copy !req
323. Shit. I'm sorry.Copy !req
324. I'm fine to walk.
Honestly. Honestly.Copy !req
325. - Fuck. I'm so sorry.
- Honestly.Copy !req
326. Fucking fuckface!Copy !req
327. Oh, this is ridiculous!Copy !req
328. Very sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
329. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
330. I'm sorry.
Okay, okay. You okay?Copy !req
331. Yeah.Copy !req
332. That's it. Well done.
You're doing a great job.Copy !req
333. Yes, you are.Copy !req
334. Okay.Copy !req
335. Well, good news is,
mom and Dad,Copy !req
336. the baby's heart rate
is all good.Copy !req
337. mom, same goes
for your BP and pulse.Copy !req
338. Bad news, I'm afraid, mom,Copy !req
339. is that you're still
only two centimetres,Copy !req
340. if that.Copy !req
341. So, I'm sorry,
but you're going to haveCopy !req
342. to go back home again
and wait.Copy !req
343. I'm sorry.Copy !req
344. You wanted
to see me, Chef?Copy !req
345. I did, yeah. Please.Copy !req
346. Er, actually, would you...Copy !req
347. Would you mind
closing the door?Copy !req
348. - Oh, yeah, sure.
- Wait, sorry. No, no. Sorry.Copy !req
349. - My fault.
- Oh.Copy !req
350. Chef, is this about the thing
with the scallops?Copy !req
351. What? No, no.Copy !req
352. - Oh.
- No.Copy !req
353. Tell me something, Chef.Copy !req
354. What... What do
you know about the...Copy !req
355. Do you need the room?Copy !req
356. 'Fraid so.Copy !req
357. What do you know about
the Bocuse d'Or?Copy !req
358. Erm, I mean,
it's like the...Copy !req
359. The culinary Olympics.Copy !req
360. There is no higher accolade.Copy !req
361. Sorry, Chef. We are running
low on celeriac.Copy !req
362. Strictly between us, Chef,Copy !req
363. and I mean that,
not a word to another soul,Copy !req
364. I, erm...Copy !req
365. I've been asked if I would
like to compete this yearCopy !req
366. to represent the UK, and I...Copy !req
367. I'd like you to be my commis.Copy !req
368. - What?
- But listen.Copy !req
369. Holy shit, Chef!Copy !req
370. We have two heats
to get through.Copy !req
371. And you seriously really need
to consider...Copy !req
372. - Chef, I'm in!
- Time. Time, Chef.Copy !req
373. You really need
to think about time.Copy !req
374. Chef, it's literally
the easiest...Copy !req
375. If we make it
to the European heat,Copy !req
376. that is three to four days
a week minimum, training wise.Copy !req
377. Make it to the final,
that is five days a week.Copy !req
378. - Five days, full time.
- Chef, I'm in.Copy !req
379. - And there'll be no let-up.
- I'm in. 100%.Copy !req
380. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
381. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
382. Yeah, I'm probably gonna have
to wet-shave you back here.Copy !req
383. It's looking a little furry.Copy !req
384. Really?Copy !req
385. - Oh.
- Lovely.Copy !req
386. Yeah, that's the ticket.Copy !req
387. I'm jealous. You realize that?Copy !req
388. Jay Rayner
just published a rave.Copy !req
389. Okay.Copy !req
390. - Okay.
- Go on.Copy !req
391. - You'll be fine.
- All right, thanks. Bye.Copy !req
392. Hi. How are you doing
this evening?Copy !req
393. Do you have a reservation
with us?Copy !req
394. Er, yeah. Tobi...
Tobias Durand. I don't...Copy !req
395. Oh, my God. Mr. Weetabix.Copy !req
396. This is so great.Copy !req
397. How's the arm? Poor thing.Copy !req
398. Oh.Copy !req
399. - Yeah.
- Well, listen.Copy !req
400. We're so excited to have you
with us this evening.Copy !req
401. We're gonna make sure you have
the time of your life.Copy !req
402. I have you down
as a table for two, correct?Copy !req
403. Erm, no.Copy !req
404. Sorry, that's my fault.Copy !req
405. Just me in the end.Copy !req
406. Oh, don't apologize.Copy !req
407. - Follow me.
- Okay.Copy !req
408. I'll let Chef know
you're here.Copy !req
409. A little something
to get you started.Copy !req
410. Oh.Copy !req
411. Weisswurst amuse-bouche.Copy !req
412. AKA Bavarian white sausage
with a modern twist.Copy !req
413. On top, we have for you
a lemon mustard gel. Enjoy.Copy !req
414. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
415. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
416. Marks out of 10
for my tiny sausage?Copy !req
417. It's 10.Copy !req
418. I'm sorry to hear
your wife couldn't make it.Copy !req
419. Is everything all right?Copy !req
420. Erm, we're actually
not, erm...Copy !req
421. Well, I mean...Copy !req
422. Technically speaking, we still
are but legally speaking...Copy !req
423. we're also...Copy !req
424. Divorced.Copy !req
425. Mmm.Copy !req
426. The back of your neck
is so smooth.Copy !req
427. My dad shaved it for me.Copy !req
428. Oh, is he some kind of barber?Copy !req
429. - Architect.
- Mmm.Copy !req
430. Oh, how is the neck,
by the way?Copy !req
431. Yeah, it's, erm, get...
Getting there.Copy !req
432. I don't think
I've ever had the pleasureCopy !req
433. of sleeping with an invalid
before.Copy !req
434. Erm...Copy !req
435. What?Copy !req
436. I suppose I'm a bit, erm,
out of practice.Copy !req
437. I'm also just
suddenly aware I...Copy !req
438. I don't... I don't have any
kind of prophylactic on me.Copy !req
439. Such low expectations.Copy !req
440. Also,
by the way, erm...Copy !req
441. My staff are desperate to know
if you get free Weetabix.Copy !req
442. Well...Copy !req
443. I can confirm to youCopy !req
444. that on occasion,Copy !req
445. I do have accessCopy !req
446. to complementary
Weetabix, yeah.Copy !req
447. - Morning.
- Oh, er...Copy !req
448. Adrienne Duvall.Copy !req
449. We worked together
back in the day.Copy !req
450. Oh.Copy !req
451. And it made me realise,
well...Copy !req
452. Quite so competitive?Copy !req
453. I probably ought
to get going.Copy !req
454. Why?Copy !req
455. Who says?Copy !req
456. I don't know.Copy !req
457. Er, you're right.
I don't know why I said that.Copy !req
458. I mean, unless you have
shit to do, then...Copy !req
459. I have nothing.Copy !req
460. But if you...Copy !req
461. I mean, have shit to do,
then, you know...Copy !req
462. I have nothing.Copy !req
463. Thank you.Copy !req
464. Hello.
How are you doing?Copy !req
465. - Good, thank you.
- Hi.Copy !req
466. Right, tasting time.Copy !req
467. Are you a cheese person?Copy !req
468. Mmm.Copy !req
469. Do you like tapenade?Copy !req
470. Okay, I'll... Thank you.Copy !req
471. - Can I get these, please?
- Of course.Copy !req
472. - And do you want a coffee?
- Sure, yeah.Copy !req
473. Actually, that's not true.Copy !req
474. A lot of it was
decidedly unhappy.Copy !req
475. We were starting to maybe
think about children.Copy !req
476. Then she got a positionCopy !req
477. in Sweden, which was...Copy !req
478. Great for her.Copy !req
479. So then we discussed it
and then we tried it,Copy !req
480. me here, her there,Copy !req
481. both of us going back
and forth depending.Copy !req
482. And then eventually,
she just said, oh,Copy !req
483. she didn't want to do that
any more.Copy !req
484. I'm sorry.Copy !req
485. Adrienne really wanted usCopy !req
486. to start thinking
about family.Copy !req
487. What did... What did you want?Copy !req
488. Erm, I...Copy !req
489. I guess there's a world
where...Copy !req
490. Kids aren't really my thing.Copy !req
491. Come on.Copy !req
492. I'm gonna make youCopy !req
493. the tastiest eggs
of your life.Copy !req
494. Right.Copy !req
495. Do you know the best way
to crack an egg?Copy !req
496. Always on a flat surface.Copy !req
497. What's the thinking
behind the two bowls?Copy !req
498. Practically speaking,Copy !req
499. it's much easier
to fish out a broken shellCopy !req
500. from the one eggCopy !req
501. rather than fishing it out
from eight eggs.Copy !req
502. Mmm.Copy !req
503. The versatility of the egg
knows no bounds.Copy !req
504. Oh.Copy !req
505. You said something to me,
erm...Copy !req
506. Couple weeks ago.Copy !req
507. You said... You said kids
aren't really your thing.Copy !req
508. That's fine. I mean, no.Copy !req
509. Of course, it...
Of course it is. Just, erm...Copy !req
510. Truthfully, kids kind of
might be, maybe, or...Copy !req
511. Are my thing.Copy !req
512. And, erm...Copy !req
513. At least I think
they might be, anyway.Copy !req
514. And I... I hate...Copy !req
515. Hate to even
have to, erm...Copy !req
516. It's just diff...
It's just different, isn't it?Copy !req
517. You know,
meeting someone at our age.Copy !req
518. Whether we like it or not,Copy !req
519. the clock is ticking.Copy !req
520. I'm sorry,
but what the actual fuckCopy !req
521. are you even talking about
right now?Copy !req
522. Well...Copy !req
523. It would seem to me preferableCopy !req
524. to have a moderately-awkward
conversation right nowCopy !req
525. rather than a completely
destructive oneCopy !req
526. in five to ten years' time.Copy !req
527. Firstly, I'm thirty-four,
not fifty-fucking-five,Copy !req
528. so how about
we ease the fuck up on...Copy !req
529. On the whole biological clock
bullshit thing?Copy !req
530. And secondly,Copy !req
531. I don't know, I'm, like,
"Back the fuck off."Copy !req
532. And calm the fuck down.Copy !req
533. What... What...
What's the rush?Copy !req
534. Because I'm worriedCopy !req
535. that's there's a very distinct
and real possibilityCopy !req
536. that I am about
to fall in love with you.Copy !req
537. I'm sorry,
I'm just not someoneCopy !req
538. who's interested in making
that kind of a promise.Copy !req
539. And in fact, there's this
little bit of me that thinks,Copy !req
540. "Fuck you" for even asking.Copy !req
541. Hi.Copy !req
542. How was work?Copy !req
543. Er...Copy !req
544. Yeah.Copy !req
545. - How was bedtime?
- Yeah. It was fine.Copy !req
546. We read Julian Is A Mermaid.Copy !req
547. A lot.Copy !req
548. So...Copy !req
549. You know,
the day of your diagnosis,Copy !req
550. you said something to me.Copy !req
551. You said that
you would rather haveCopy !req
552. six fucking fantastic months
than 12...Copy !req
553. Than 12 really shitty,
passive ones.Copy !req
554. Yeah, passive ones.Copy !req
555. At that time,
I was guilty of havingCopy !req
556. no coherent
or cohesive responseCopy !req
557. but what you said has really,
really stayed with me.Copy !req
558. And I now do have a responseCopy !req
559. that I would like
to share with you.Copy !req
560. Okay.Copy !req
561. Okay.Copy !req
562. Erm...Copy !req
563. I'm sorry.Copy !req
564. "Although...Copy !req
565. "Although in the past,Copy !req
566. - "you have..."
- Mmm.Copy !req
567. Erm...Copy !req
568. - What the...
- It's all right.Copy !req
569. Take your time.Copy !req
570. - I'm nervous.
- It's okay.Copy !req
571. Erm...Copy !req
572. "Although...Copy !req
573. "Although in the past,
you have, erm..."Copy !req
574. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- It's all right. Shall I...Copy !req
575. I'm sorry.Copy !req
576. Here.Copy !req
577. Fuck it. Let's do it.Copy !req
578. Yeah, let's do it.Copy !req
579. - That too much?
- Yes.Copy !req
580. In for a heteronormative
penny, in for a pound.Copy !req
581. Pizza.Copy !req
582. Er, did anyone order a man
as well as a pizza?Copy !req
583. I'll take him.Copy !req
584. I, er...Copy !req
585. - Weetabix?
- Hi.Copy !req
586. - Oh.
- Hi.Copy !req
587. - Hi.
- Well.Copy !req
588. Welcome to my baby shower.Copy !req
589. Apologies for the, erm...Copy !req
590. Interruption?Copy !req
591. I saw you the o...
The o... Last week,Copy !req
592. I was passing
by the restaurant.Copy !req
593. Erm...Copy !req
594. And it made me realize,
well...Copy !req
595. two things.Copy !req
596. First of which, I was still
quite angry with youCopy !req
597. because although I might have
been somewhat insensitive,Copy !req
598. you were rude to me,
which, yeah, a lot, hurt.Copy !req
599. And the second thing,Copy !req
600. I was guilty of
focusing on the wrong,Copy !req
601. erm...Copy !req
602. thing, aspect.Copy !req
603. Looking ahead
instead of right...Copy !req
604. In front of me, at you.Copy !req
605. I knew he was gonna do that.Copy !req
606. So are you gonna catch
mommy's hair?Copy !req
607. Perfect, yeah.
Open your little box.Copy !req
608. Yeah.Copy !req
609. Aw, that felt like a good one.Copy !req
610. - Oh, yeah. Nice and clean.
- That sounded like...Copy !req
611. - That's perfect!
- It's nice and...Copy !req
612. That's it.Copy !req
613. How much hair
do you wanna keep, mommy?Copy !req
614. Yeah. Yeah, I got you.Copy !req
615. - We're getting chunky now.
- Yeah, just do it.Copy !req
616. - We're getting chunky.
- Oh, amazing.Copy !req
617. Pat it down, Ells.Copy !req
618. Good girl.Copy !req
619. Hold that up there for me,
darling. Thank you.Copy !req
620. - Well done, girly.
- Oh.Copy !req
621. - Oh, lovely.
- Really nice.Copy !req
622. - Really nice?
- Really nice.Copy !req
623. Whoa, okay.Copy !req
624. Wow. Wow. Mmm.Copy !req
625. Ooh, ooh.Copy !req
626. - Aw.
- Aw.Copy !req
627. You look beautiful.Copy !req
628. Doesn't she look
so beautiful?Copy !req
629. Sorry.Copy !req
630. Yes?
Happy?Copy !req
631. Yes.Copy !req
632. Anywhere from
200 to 600 seated guests,Copy !req
633. access to over four acres
of private gardens.Copy !req
634. Wow.Copy !req
635. Along with its own
secure car-parking area.Copy !req
636. - Marble flooring.
- Wow.Copy !req
637. Roman nobles.Copy !req
638. Around about 120 guests,Copy !req
639. expanding to around about 140
for your evening reception.Copy !req
640. And the great hall is licensed
for music and entertainment.Copy !req
641. Hear that, Ells?Copy !req
642. - Ooh.
- Dancing.Copy !req
643. Our conservatory
is licensed forCopy !req
644. up to and including
160 guests...Copy !req
645. for a seated dinner.Copy !req
646. Or 200...Copy !req
647. Touch his bum.Copy !req
648. for a standing buffet.Copy !req
649. Fairy lights, optional extra.Copy !req
650. Have you seen the ceiling?Copy !req
651. Though I should add
that the use of dronesCopy !req
652. is strictly prohibited.Copy !req
653. This one's going
to take 20 minutes,Copy !req
654. give or take, then we'll flush
out the systemCopy !req
655. and get you started
on number two.Copy !req
656. Okay, thank you.Copy !req
657. Right. Give us a shout
if you need anything.Copy !req
658. Will do.Copy !req
659. Chefs,
how are we all doing?Copy !req
660. Sorry to keep you waiting.Copy !req
661. Technical bullshit.Copy !req
662. Apologies, everyone,
for the delay.Copy !req
663. Good news is, audience is in,
ready and raring.Copy !req
664. So, er, just a little heads-up
from me.Copy !req
665. Erm, I'll kick things off,
a little intro,Copy !req
666. little bit about me,Copy !req
667. little bit about my role as
Bocuse d'Or UK head coach.Copy !req
668. Overview of the rules,
what's up for grabs today,Copy !req
669. place at the European
semi-finals,Copy !req
670. so on and so forth.Copy !req
671. General frenzy-whipping.Copy !req
672. Excitement. Good.Copy !req
673. Any questions? Excellent.Copy !req
674. All right, Chefs. Onwards.Copy !req
675. - Hello, you.
- Hi! Hello.Copy !req
676. - Good to see ya.
- Yeah.Copy !req
677. - Congrats on the star.
- Same to you.Copy !req
678. Yeah, well, I thinkCopy !req
679. I'm a little
old hat at this point.Copy !req
680. No.Copy !req
681. This is Jade Khadime,
my commis.Copy !req
682. - And the real deal.
- Hello, Jade.Copy !req
683. Well, best of luck out there.Copy !req
684. Excellent hair, by the way.Copy !req
685. - Oh, thank you.
- Yes.Copy !req
686. Er, just gonna pop to the loo.Copy !req
687. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
688. Chef!Copy !req
689. Chef, they're ready for us.Copy !req
690. It's fine, honestly.
Honestly, I'm fine.Copy !req
691. I'm... I'm... I'm coming.Copy !req
692. Chef, are you using?Copy !req
693. What?Copy !req
694. Chefs' circle of trust, Chef.Copy !req
695. No.Copy !req
696. No, I have stage three
ovarian cancer.Copy !req
697. Do you want to call time
on the whole competing thing?Copy !req
698. No, I do not.Copy !req
699. Thank you.Copy !req
700. Let's do it.Copy !req
701. That's okay.
Is that right?Copy !req
702. - Yeah, it's fine.
- That's brilliant.Copy !req
703. All right.Copy !req
704. Best of luck
out there, everyone.Copy !req
705. Hi.Copy !req
706. Penny for your thoughts.Copy !req
707. Hi. Hi.
- So.Copy !req
708. I think I like this oneCopy !req
709. but I suspect I'm pretty easy
either way.Copy !req
710. Could I sleep on it?Copy !req
711. Yeah.Copy !req
712. Yeah, absolutely.Copy !req
713. What?Copy !req
714. What's going on?Copy !req
715. Tired.Copy !req
716. Okay.Copy !req
717. Okay. Huh, mmm-hmm.Copy !req
718. Oh, don't forget your, erm...Copy !req
719. Waterproof.Copy !req
720. - Hello.
- It's us!Copy !req
721. Hi!Copy !req
722. Okay, I'm gonna buzz you up.Copy !req
723. They're here.Copy !req
724. All right.Copy !req
725. - Mama!
- Hello!Copy !req
726. I love that dress.
Thank you.Copy !req
727. Kind of matches, actually.Copy !req
728. Sorry I haven't
brought you anything.Copy !req
729. It's okay.
You brought me a baby.Copy !req
730. I brought you a baby.
Ben, how are you?Copy !req
731. Oh, sorry, babies.Copy !req
732. Babies want attention. Hi, hi.Copy !req
733. - Unbelievable.
- Hi, loves. Come on in.Copy !req
734. - Wow!
- Thank you. Wow!Copy !req
735. - It goes back so far.
- I know, and I have a bath.Copy !req
736. - And a double bed.
- Ah, hi.Copy !req
737. Go on.Copy !req
738. You've never been here.
Really, so grown-up.Copy !req
739. Have you? I've just realized.Copy !req
740. - It's so cool.
- No, I haven't. No.Copy !req
741. My goodness.
Look at the little...Copy !req
742. Hi!
Sorry, didn't mean to, er...Copy !req
743. - Hi, I'm so sorry.
- Hi.Copy !req
744. - Hello.
- Good to see you.Copy !req
745. - I'm Almut's sister, Leah.
- I'm Reginald.Copy !req
746. - That's my dad, yeah.
- Lovely to meet you.Copy !req
747. Reginald,
it's a pleasure to meet you.Copy !req
748. It smells amazing.
Thank you.Copy !req
749. - Likewise.
- Hi, I'm Almut's brother,Copy !req
750. - Lucas.
- Welcome, welcome.Copy !req
751. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
752. Well, it's not my home, but
I'm welcoming everyone anyway.Copy !req
753. Hey, I'm the other brother,
Ben.Copy !req
754. - Hi. Hi.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
755. You too.Copy !req
756. - Thanks for this.
- Oh, pleasure.Copy !req
757. Bea said we had to go
to Salt Lake.Copy !req
758. She said, "You'll love it,"
she says.Copy !req
759. And so... And so we're there
and it's winter.Copy !req
760. It's... It's snowing.Copy !req
761. It's beautiful and, erm,Copy !req
762. we decide to visit
the Tabernacle.Copy !req
763. - I don't know if you know it.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
764. It's, erm...Copy !req
765. Well, I don't even
know how lateCopy !req
766. and, er,
we've watched the sun go down.Copy !req
767. And it's been the most...Copy !req
768. You know,Copy !req
769. the most wonderful day
of our entire fucking lives.Copy !req
770. And I turned to her
and I said... I say...Copy !req
771. "Bea, don't know about you,Copy !req
772. "but I think this is howCopy !req
773. "I'd like to spend
the rest of my life."Copy !req
774. No ring, nothing, just...Copy !req
775. - Said it.
- And what did she say?Copy !req
776. "Don't be
so fucking sentimental."Copy !req
777. "I don't need a roomful of
people and a piece of paperCopy !req
778. "to know I want to spend
the rest of my life with you,"Copy !req
779. - she said.
- Yeah.Copy !req
780. - Amen.
- Yeah.Copy !req
781. So when were you... When were
you all in Salt Lake?Copy !req
782. Erm, 15 years ago.Copy !req
783. - Give or take.
- Business or pleasure?Copy !req
784. What? What's going on?Copy !req
785. I... I just happened to be in
a competition that year, so...Copy !req
786. Happened, just...Copy !req
787. - Don't.
- Competition?Copy !req
788. What sort of a competition?Copy !req
789. It was, erm...Copy !req
790. I used to...
I used to figure-skate.Copy !req
791. Erm... ISU World
Championships.Copy !req
792. She was unbe-fucking-lievable.Copy !req
793. I can't believe you haven't
told these guys this.Copy !req
794. - Stop.
- It was, it was.Copy !req
795. - Check it out.
- No.Copy !req
796. - Check it out.
- You have to see this,Copy !req
797. - Reginald, it's...
- I'm speechless.Copy !req
798. - ... absolutely remarkable.
- Here she goes.Copy !req
799. Here she goes. Here she goes.Copy !req
800. Oh!Copy !req
801. - This is you?
- Yeah, watch this.Copy !req
802. Oh!Copy !req
803. Oh, my goodness me.Copy !req
804. Stop. Stop, stop.
Please. I said no.Copy !req
805. I said no.Copy !req
806. - You should be proud.
- Yeah, bloody marvelous.Copy !req
807. Thanks, mom.Copy !req
808. Yeah.Copy !req
809. Wine. Anyone for any wine?Copy !req
810. You know
it isn't even just you?Copy !req
811. Like, honest to God,
no one knows about it.Copy !req
812. Thank you.Copy !req
813. It was Dad
who got me into skating.Copy !req
814. I think he actually really
wanted a sporty child and...Copy !req
815. And I suppose
I was his last chance.Copy !req
816. And I guess...Copy !req
817. He was right to push meCopy !req
818. because it turned out
I fucking loved itCopy !req
819. and I was really good at it.Copy !req
820. And in the beginning,
he would drive me to SwindonCopy !req
821. virtually every weekend.Copy !req
822. Hmm.Copy !req
823. And then when he was ill,
when he was sick, I...Copy !req
824. I wanted to help out and...Copy !req
825. I took some time off from it.Copy !req
826. And then...Copy !req
827. After that,Copy !req
828. skating without him around
was just joyless.Copy !req
829. So you just stopped?Copy !req
830. I think it just really
reminded me of him.Copy !req
831. You okay?Copy !req
832. - What?
- I think I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
833. Okay.Copy !req
834. Whoa, whoa. Okay.Copy !req
835. I'm cautiously optimisticCopy !req
836. we're dealing with
an infection.Copy !req
837. But, listen,
once the fluid is out,Copy !req
838. we're gonna run some tests,Copy !req
839. and if we find anything,
you'll be the first to know.Copy !req
840. - Okay.
- In the meantime,Copy !req
841. I'd like to get you started
with some antibiotics,Copy !req
842. just to help with the pain.Copy !req
843. - All right?
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
844. - Okay?
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
845. - Thank you.
- Pleasure.Copy !req
846. Tobias, I had a call
from the hospital.Copy !req
847. They called to see if I could
come in, and so I did.Copy !req
848. Speaking.Copy !req
849. They said
it wasn't an infection.Copy !req
850. What is it?Copy !req
851. What is it?Copy !req
852. I've made notes.Copy !req
853. Erm,Copy !req
854. they are recommendingCopy !req
855. either a partial
or a full-blown hysterectomy.Copy !req
856. Your note-taking is incredibly
thorough, by the way.Copy !req
857. Every cloud...Copy !req
858. All right,
so let me just check, I...Copy !req
859. - Mmm-hmm.
- Option One would be...Copy !req
860. If we ever want
to conceive naturally...Copy !req
861. Freeze embryos.Copy !req
862. Mmm.Copy !req
863. - Followed by...
- Surgery.Copy !req
864. So removing one ovary,
not both.Copy !req
865. - Followed by...
- Chemo. Shit.Copy !req
866. Shit ton of chemo.Copy !req
867. - Followed by...
- Shagging.Copy !req
868. Or, well, yeah, whatever. IVF.Copy !req
869. Oh, I...
I vote shagging, but okay.Copy !req
870. Alternatively, Option Two.Copy !req
871. Way more invasive
but way lower risk of relapse.Copy !req
872. Ovaries and uterus,
they take it.Copy !req
873. They take it all.Copy !req
874. Okay.Copy !req
875. Okay.Copy !req
876. - I think...
- Listen... Oh, sorry.Copy !req
877. - No. Do you want...
- No. No, you.Copy !req
878. Okay.Copy !req
879. I guess...Copy !req
880. I think,
unless you think I'm...Copy !req
881. Insane, I think I am inclinedCopy !req
882. to say that I would...Copy !req
883. I would like to hang on
to at least one of my...Copy !req
884. Fucking addled
cancer-ridden ovaries.Copy !req
885. Because, well...Copy !req
886. Just because I never,
in a general sense,Copy !req
887. saw myself having kids,Copy !req
888. doesn't mean
that there isn't a worldCopy !req
889. where I couldn't see myself,
in time,Copy !req
890. deciding to have them
with you.Copy !req
891. I'm in remission.Copy !req
892. We should do something
to celebrate.Copy !req
893. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
894. - ... the throne or something.
- What?Copy !req
895. No.Copy !req
896. That serves you right.Copy !req
897. - Everything's great!
- Everything's fine.Copy !req
898. Wait, wait,
wait, wait!Copy !req
899. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.Copy !req
900. Breathe in.Copy !req
901. Breathe out.Copy !req
902. Ooh.Copy !req
903. Breathe in.Copy !req
904. One second.Copy !req
905. Oh, fuck me.Copy !req
906. Feeling relaxed and calm.Copy !req
907. Almut?Copy !req
908. Al? Almut?Copy !req
909. Come on,
come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
910. Oh.Copy !req
911. I'm gonna get a drink.Copy !req
912. That is...
Yes, £20 with the fuel.Copy !req
913. Thank you. Cheers.Copy !req
914. Thank you.Copy !req
915. Hiya.Copy !req
916. Oh, shit.Copy !req
917. - Sorry. Thank you.
- Hiya.Copy !req
918. - Hi, how are you?
- Yeah, good, thank you.Copy !req
919. - There you go. Any fuel?
- Er, no.Copy !req
920. Sorry.Copy !req
921. Al?Copy !req
922. Al? Al?Copy !req
923. Sorry. One second, sorry.Copy !req
924. Al?Copy !req
925. - Mmm-hmm?
- Hi. Everything okay?Copy !req
926. Hmm. Kind of.Copy !req
927. - What?
- Erm...Copy !req
928. Well, you see, I thought...
I thought I needed a poo.Copy !req
929. - Yeah.
- And, er,Copy !req
930. - now that I'm in here...
- Yeah?Copy !req
931. I think
I might need to push.Copy !req
932. No. No, no. No, no.Copy !req
933. No! Okay?Copy !req
934. Sorry, but you can't push.Copy !req
935. If you let me in, I can...
I can help.Copy !req
936. We have biscuits now, Al.
We have biscuits, okay?Copy !req
937. - Okay.
- Okay, come on. Let me in.Copy !req
938. Oh, no, I can't.Copy !req
939. What? Just un...
Unlock it and open it.Copy !req
940. I can't. It's not happening.
It's not... It's not working.Copy !req
941. Wait.Copy !req
942. Sorry. I'm sorry. My, erm...Copy !req
943. My partner is stuck
in the, erm...Copy !req
944. Do you have the... For the...
The key for the...Copy !req
945. - Yeah.
- So sorry, er...Copy !req
946. - Thank you.
- Hey, Jane, I'll just...Copy !req
947. Okay, Al, we have the key.
We have the key, don't worry.Copy !req
948. It's okay. Sorry about this.Copy !req
949. - No, no, it's fine.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
950. Okay.Copy !req
951. Okay, just...
Just don't push, Al.Copy !req
952. Whatever you do,
just don't pu...Copy !req
953. Erm, it's just...
Got broken off.Copy !req
954. Erm...Copy !req
955. - So, Al?
- Yeah?Copy !req
956. I'm gonna need you
to stand back, okay?Copy !req
957. - What?
- Standing... Standing backCopy !req
958. - away from the door.
- Wait, wait, wait. Why?Copy !req
959. All the way back.
Right the way back. All right?Copy !req
960. - Why?
- I'm so, so sorry.Copy !req
961. I think she might be
about to give birth.Copy !req
962. - Yeah, erm...
- Maybe...Copy !req
963. I'll... I'll... I'm gonna get
Jane, 'cause she'll know...Copy !req
964. Okay, get Jane.
Jane? Jane?Copy !req
965. Jane, pregnant lady
stuck in the khazi.Copy !req
966. - Just bear with me.
- Fine.Copy !req
967. The key snapped in the...Copy !req
968. - How many weeks?
- Forty.Copy !req
969. Huh. Mazel tov.Copy !req
970. Okay.Copy !req
971. Keep standing back, Al.Copy !req
972. - Shall I have a go?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
973. No, it's not. Nah.Copy !req
974. Okay. Okay, Al,
still standing back?Copy !req
975. Okay?Copy !req
976. - Hi.
- I can't. I'm sorry.Copy !req
977. What...
What do you mean, you can't?Copy !req
978. Move. I can't. I'm sorry.Copy !req
979. I can feel it.Copy !req
980. - No.
- Mmm.Copy !req
981. - No, I know, but we can't.
- Mmm.Copy !req
982. We have to... We don't...
Not... Not here.Copy !req
983. - We... We don't... It's not...
- Mmm, listen to me.Copy !req
984. - It's not safe.
- It's just coming. It is.Copy !req
985. It is. It's coming.
I can feel it. I can feel it.Copy !req
986. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
987. I'm sorry but I... It's...
This is...Copy !req
988. It's it. It's it. It's it.Copy !req
989. Yeah, it seems like we haveCopy !req
990. almost everything we need.Copy !req
991. Except for a midwife.Copy !req
992. - Except for a midwife.
- Yeah.Copy !req
993. Ooh. Ah. Ah.Copy !req
994. Is that a push I hear there?Copy !req
995. Yeah, I think this might...
This might be a push.Copy !req
996. - Do you wanna push?
- Yeah.Copy !req
997. - Yes, she wants to push.
- Yeah.Copy !req
998. Watch your head. Watch
your head. Watch your head.Copy !req
999. Understood, yeah.
She... She... She can push.Copy !req
1000. Al, Al, I'm gonna have
to check againCopy !req
1001. to see if I can see any
body parts. Is that okay?Copy !req
1002. I'm not exactly in a position
to say no, am I?Copy !req
1003. Okay.Copy !req
1004. - Yes, I can see the head.
- Wait, what?Copy !req
1005. - What? Tobias?
- Shh. Erm... Sorry.Copy !req
1006. - Wait, no, I'm sorry, no.
- Tobias? Tobias?Copy !req
1007. Sorry, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1008. Okay, listen to me.
You've got this.Copy !req
1009. - A head?
- Sorry, sorry.Copy !req
1010. I'm gonna put you on
speakerphone.Copy !req
1011. Hold on one second.
Can you, can you, can you...Copy !req
1012. Dig deep, babe.
I got it.Copy !req
1013. - Thank you. Sorry, still here.
- Hello?Copy !req
1014. Can you say
that last bit again, please?Copy !req
1015. With each contraction,
place the palm of your hand...Copy !req
1016. Listen,
you're doing brilliantly.Copy !req
1017. against the vaginaCopy !req
1018. and apply firm
but gentle pressureCopy !req
1019. - to keep baby's head...
- To keep baby inside?Copy !req
1020. - No.
- No, Christ!Copy !req
1021. - No, please do not do that.
- No.Copy !req
1022. You do not want to keepCopy !req
1023. - the baby inside.
- Right.Copy !req
1024. You want to apply firm
but gentle pressureCopy !req
1025. to keep baby's head
from delivering too fastCopy !req
1026. and tearing.Copy !req
1027. Sorry. Sorry. Understood, yes.
Understood.Copy !req
1028. - Oh, my God.
- Do you understand?Copy !req
1029. Yes, yes, got it now. Sorry.Copy !req
1030. How is mom doing now?Copy !req
1031. How's mom doing now?Copy !req
1032. Oh. Tell her it feels likeCopy !req
1033. a huge fucking lump
between my legs.Copy !req
1034. She says it feels like she's
got a lump between her legs.Copy !req
1035. - A huge fucking lump.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
1036. A huge fucking lump
between her legs.Copy !req
1037. Yeah.Copy !req
1038. Is there anyone else
there with you?Copy !req
1039. Yeah, we're actually...
I'm sorry.Copy !req
1040. I'm sorry,
I don't know their names.Copy !req
1041. - Er, Sanjaya.
- Sanjaya.Copy !req
1042. - Jane, hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
1043. Could one of you
do me a favourCopy !req
1044. - and go and make sure...Copy !req
1045. the front door is unlocked
and open?Copy !req
1046. Yeah. It's a...
It's a petrol station.Copy !req
1047. Yeah, it's a petrol station.
You just walk straight in.Copy !req
1048. Ooh, I can feel it,
I can feel it.Copy !req
1049. The head, it's coming.
It's coming.Copy !req
1050. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
1051. Here we go.Copy !req
1052. Whoa-ho!Copy !req
1053. Lean into me. That's it.Copy !req
1054. There's a face!
There's a face!Copy !req
1055. There's a face!
I mean, a head.Copy !req
1056. There's a head! It's great.Copy !req
1057. Head's out.Copy !req
1058. - Oh, my God!
- You're amazing.Copy !req
1059. Yeah, she's doing great.
She is. She's doing great.Copy !req
1060. You're doing great.
You're doing so fucking great!Copy !req
1061. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1062. All right, yes!Copy !req
1063. Got the shoulders.
Shoulders are out.Copy !req
1064. That's it.Copy !req
1065. Yes. That's it. That's it.Copy !req
1066. Ah. Oh. She's out.Copy !req
1067. - Yes, yes! You did it!
- Oh! Oh, my God. She is?Copy !req
1068. That's great.
That's fantastic.Copy !req
1069. Is baby crying, Dad?
Is baby breathing?Copy !req
1070. Both.Copy !req
1071. - Both.
- We did it!Copy !req
1072. - We did it!
- Wow!Copy !req
1073. You are incredible.Copy !req
1074. What I need you to do now,
is get a clean towelCopy !req
1075. and gently wipe
and dry baby off, okay, Dad?Copy !req
1076. - Yeah. Yeah.
- Nose and mouth first.Copy !req
1077. - All right?
- She's gorgeous.Copy !req
1078. Yeah, okay.
She's gorgeous.Copy !req
1079. - Can I see her?
- Yeah, she's coming.Copy !req
1080. Can you put that towel
underneath for me?Copy !req
1081. Can I see her?
I have to see her.Copy !req
1082. - She's coming. She's coming.
- Oh, my God. There she is.Copy !req
1083. Thank you, Sanjaya.Copy !req
1084. - Hi.
- That's your mommy.Copy !req
1085. That's your mommy.Copy !req
1086. I can hear her. You did say
"her", didn't you, "she"?Copy !req
1087. Her. She.Copy !req
1088. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1089. Congratulations, Mom and Dad.Copy !req
1090. Now, I need you to make sureCopy !req
1091. baby is wrapped in a towel,
okay?Copy !req
1092. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Can you do that for me, Dad?Copy !req
1093. Ah.Copy !req
1094. Without pulling the cord
too tight,Copy !req
1095. I want you to put baby
in mom's arms, all right?Copy !req
1096. Al, Al, Al.Copy !req
1097. And I'm gonna need you
to make sureCopy !req
1098. that mom and baby
are kept warm, okay?Copy !req
1099. - Yeah.
- Hi.Copy !req
1100. - I've got you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1101. Oh, my God. Hi!Copy !req
1102. Oh, she's beautiful!Copy !req
1103. Thanks, Jane.Copy !req
1104. Shh.Copy !req
1105. Dad, I've got some good news.Copy !req
1106. Ambulance should be with you
any minute now, all right?Copy !req
1107. Okay.Copy !req
1108. In the meantime, contractions
might start up again, okay...Copy !req
1109. Do you want the... Yeah.Copy !req
1110. because mom's got
to deliver the placenta,Copy !req
1111. so I'm going to need you to
try and keep her nice and calmCopy !req
1112. - and warm. Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1113. Okay, I can do that.Copy !req
1114. Yeah.Copy !req
1115. Happy New Year.Copy !req
1116. Happy New Year...Copy !req
1117. Happy New Year.Copy !req
1118. Happy New Year.Copy !req
1119. Not only have we been
unable to shrink the tumor,Copy !req
1120. but in fact the disease
seems to have metastasised.Copy !req
1121. Which means, I'm afraid,Copy !req
1122. we're still not in a position
to operate.Copy !req
1123. But there are plenty of
reasons to remain positive.Copy !req
1124. Other treatment options
are still available.Copy !req
1125. Failure first time around has
almost no bearing whatsoeverCopy !req
1126. on the likelihood
of second-line success.Copy !req
1127. It's fine. I'm fine.Copy !req
1128. I'm okay. It's okay, honestly.Copy !req
1129. Yeah.Copy !req
1130. It's okay not to be okay.Copy !req
1131. It's a lot.Copy !req
1132. You've been through a lot,
both of you.Copy !req
1133. Gosh. Christ.Copy !req
1134. Sorry.Copy !req
1135. Oh, my God. Are you sure?Copy !req
1136. Not exactly haute cuisine.Copy !req
1137. Thank you.Copy !req
1138. Oh. Thanks.Copy !req
1139. What did you go for?Copy !req
1140. Twix.Copy !req
1141. - Nice.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1142. - What about you?
- Bounty.Copy !req
1143. When in Rome.Copy !req
1144. Meant to ask, erm...Copy !req
1145. I have a feeling my 4:00
is gonna overrun.Copy !req
1146. I don't supposeCopy !req
1147. there's any chance you might
be able to do pick-up?Copy !req
1148. Erm, only if
you have the time.Copy !req
1149. - Definitely.
- Thank you. That'd be great.Copy !req
1150. Pleasure.Copy !req
1151. Okay, so that is
15 minutes over.Copy !req
1152. Fuck.Copy !req
1153. Sixteen.Copy !req
1154. Fuck, fuck. It's fucked. Stop.Copy !req
1155. It's fucked. It's... We're...Copy !req
1156. We're still far
too fucking slow on the prep.Copy !req
1157. And this whole
sous vide situationCopy !req
1158. - is fucking killing us!
- All right. All right. Easy.Copy !req
1159. Let's take five.Copy !req
1160. No, I don't wanna
take a break.Copy !req
1161. I don't wanna take five.
I wanna go back to the start.Copy !req
1162. I need to look at the plans.
I need to look at the timings.Copy !req
1163. I need to figure this shit
the fuck out.Copy !req
1164. Sick of this shit!Copy !req
1165. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1166. Yeah, you're right.
Let's take a break.Copy !req
1167. Let's take five.Copy !req
1168. Right, what's next?Copy !req
1169. - Octopus?
- Yep.Copy !req
1170. Where the hell were you?Copy !req
1171. You said you were gonnaCopy !req
1172. - do pick-up.
- I was in the restaurant.Copy !req
1173. - Oh, my God.
- No.Copy !req
1174. You weren't in the restaurant,
cos I spoke to Skye.Copy !req
1175. She didn't know where the hell
you were either.Copy !req
1176. Was everything okay
with the... With the pick-up?Copy !req
1177. No, not particularly.Copy !req
1178. Jesus.Copy !req
1179. I was this close to calling
round A&E departments.Copy !req
1180. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.Copy !req
1181. Erm...Copy !req
1182. I'm in training
for the Bocuse d'Or.Copy !req
1183. Hmm.Copy !req
1184. - Beg your pardon?
- Not... Not the final.Copy !req
1185. Just the Euros.Copy !req
1186. We, erm... We won the UK heat.Copy !req
1187. How long?Copy !req
1188. - Huh?
- How long have you beenCopy !req
1189. prioritising fucking cooking
instead of getting better?Copy !req
1190. Er, the UK heat
was back in OctoberCopy !req
1191. and the, er, Euro qualifiers
are coming up soon.Copy !req
1192. Do... Do the hospital know?
Did they, erm...Copy !req
1193. Did you... Please.Copy !req
1194. Please. Please tell me that...Copy !req
1195. That they, erm,
and that you...Copy !req
1196. What difference does it make
if they know?Copy !req
1197. Oh, grow up, will you, Almut?Copy !req
1198. You have cancer.Copy !req
1199. You have cancer, Al.Copy !req
1200. No, you grow up,
you fucking dick.Copy !req
1201. The difference
this could make is...Copy !req
1202. It's vast.Copy !req
1203. Why?
Why are you taking the risk?Copy !req
1204. - Isn't it obvious?
- No, actually, it's not.Copy !req
1205. - Not to me.
- I'm... I'm not exactlyCopy !req
1206. gonna get the chance again,
am I?Copy !req
1207. What is that supposed to mean?
In what reality...Copy !req
1208. It means I'm not
particularly interestedCopy !req
1209. in dying with fuck all
to show for it.Copy !req
1210. Oh, okay.Copy !req
1211. So we're not...
We're not enough for you?Copy !req
1212. Is that...
Is that what it is?Copy !req
1213. Award-winning chefCopy !req
1214. cum-former
figure-skating nutcase...Copy !req
1215. No, now
you're just being mean.Copy !req
1216. No, no, no. No, I'm not.Copy !req
1217. I'm... I'm honestly...
I'm trying to understandCopy !req
1218. what it is that motivates
an otherwise perfectly sane...Copy !req
1219. Of course you factor
into my thinking, you fuck!Copy !req
1220. Okay, so, then,
I don't understand.Copy !req
1221. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1222. But, I really...
Honest to God, I don't.Copy !req
1223. Maybe... I mean, Jesus!Copy !req
1224. I mean,
did it ever occur to youCopy !req
1225. that maybe I don't wanna just
be someone's dead fucking mom?Copy !req
1226. I mean, at this point
nothing terrifies me moreCopy !req
1227. than the thought of having herCopy !req
1228. having nothing whatsoever
to remember me by.Copy !req
1229. And it's like there's this...
This bit of meCopy !req
1230. that is fucking desperate
for her to knowCopy !req
1231. that I didn't just give up.Copy !req
1232. And wouldn't it be
quite the thingCopy !req
1233. if maybe one day she decided
to look back on this time,Copy !req
1234. she actually chose
to look backCopy !req
1235. on this entire godforsaken
episode and thought,Copy !req
1236. "Wow, that's my mom"?Copy !req
1237. I don't...Copy !req
1238. I don't want my relationship
with EllaCopy !req
1239. to be solely defined
by my decline.Copy !req
1240. Or maybe
I actually just can't bearCopy !req
1241. the thought
of being forgotten.Copy !req
1242. I'm not sure which is worse.Copy !req
1243. Wanting us to remember
your achievementsCopy !req
1244. is one thing.Copy !req
1245. Wanting us to somehow remember
your achievementsCopy !req
1246. that we have absolutely
no fucking knowledge of...Copy !req
1247. Okay, I get it, I fucked up.
I fucked up. Please stop.Copy !req
1248. Please.
Please stop going on about it.Copy !req
1249. When is it?Copy !req
1250. The thing?Copy !req
1251. The European qualifying,
what... Whatever?Copy !req
1252. June.Copy !req
1253. June?Copy !req
1254. June the, erm...Copy !req
1255. It's the 5th and 6th of June.Copy !req
1256. Oh, right.Copy !req
1257. I'm so sorry, Tobias.Copy !req
1258. I am.Copy !req
1259. Aerodynamic, innit?Copy !req
1260. Chef, I think
I might be about to throw up.Copy !req
1261. Oh, shit. Erm, do you...
Do you have a buck...Copy !req
1262. Can I have a bucket?Copy !req
1263. Like a cup, or...Copy !req
1264. Okay, there you go.Copy !req
1265. Okay.Copy !req
1266. - Better?
- Oui, Chef.Copy !req
1267. Sometimes, Chef,
inside just wants out.Copy !req
1268. - Okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1269. Yeah.
Let's do it.Copy !req
1270. Please welcome
the United Kingdom,Copy !req
1271. Almut Bruhl and Jade Khadim.Copy !req
1272. Come on, England!
I can't hear you!Copy !req
1273. Impressive startCopy !req
1274. with a plate presentation.Copy !req
1275. Please welcome Norway.Copy !req
1276. Vigo Hansen and Soren Hansen.Copy !req
1277. Come on, you Brits!Copy !req
1278. Ready, go.Copy !req
1279. Here we go.Copy !req
1280. United Kingdom.Copy !req
1281. Start!Copy !req
1282. That's your mom.Copy !req
1283. Team UK! Team UK!
Go on, Team UK!Copy !req
1284. Come on, GB!Copy !req
1285. Okay, let's get them out.Copy !req
1286. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, coming.Copy !req
1287. Here we go.Copy !req
1288. - Thank you.
- Well done.Copy !req
1289. Good.Copy !req
1290. Let's go, mom!
Let's go, Almut!Copy !req
1291. Whoa.Copy !req
1292. Go, go, go...Copy !req
1293. Team United Kingdom,Copy !req
1294. thirty seconds to finish.Copy !req
1295. Let's go, Almut!Copy !req
1296. Keep going!
Down to the wire, guys!Copy !req
1297. Couple more seconds. Come on!Copy !req
1298. Ten, nine, eight...Copy !req
1299. Seven, six, five, four,Copy !req
1300. three, two, one.Copy !req
1301. Yes! All right!Copy !req
1302. - All right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1303. - Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1304. One, two, three.Copy !req
1305. - United Kingdom!
- Well done, well done.Copy !req
1306. She did it. She did it.Copy !req
1307. I did it.Copy !req
1308. Amazing.Copy !req
1309. I love you.Copy !req
1310. Chef?Copy !req
1311. I'll see you soon, Chef.Copy !req
1312. Oh. Hi.Copy !req
1313. Come on.Copy !req
1314. Let's go.Copy !req
1315. Ready? And we're off.Copy !req
1316. Turning.Copy !req
1317. It's good.Copy !req
1318. It's good.Copy !req
1319. Ooh.Copy !req
1320. Ooh!Copy !req
1321. - Okay. Watch mommy.
- Okay.Copy !req
1322. There she goes.Copy !req
1323. Bye, mommy!Copy !req
1324. Bye!Copy !req
1325. Mwah!Copy !req
1326. Okay.Copy !req
1327. Okay.Copy !req
1328. Let's put them on the table, yeah?Copy !req
1329. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1330. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1331. Cos it's egg time.Copy !req
1332. Hi, Belinda. Hi, Barry.Copy !req
1333. How's that look?Copy !req
1334. - Good?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1335. - In the basket.
- Yep.Copy !req
1336. In the basket, please.Copy !req
1337. Check that one for me, please,
egg-checker.Copy !req
1338. How many eggs do you want, darling?Copy !req
1339. Five.Copy !req
1340. You can have as many
as you want. Five is good.Copy !req
1341. - Yep.
- Yep.Copy !req
1342. - Oh, yeah, check that.
- Yep. Yep.Copy !req
1343. One, two, jump. What a jump!Copy !req
1344. Okay, do you rememberCopy !req
1345. the best way to crack an egg?Copy !req
1346. Always on a flat surface, yeah?Copy !req
1347. - Yeah.
- And then in there.Copy !req
1348. That goes in there.Copy !req
1349. You want to try?Copy !req
1350. You got it. You got it.Copy !req
1351. Open that a bit there.Copy !req
1352. Ah, yeah, you did it.Copy !req
1353. Stop.Copy !req
1354. Perfect.Copy !req
1355. No shells.Copy !req
1356. There's no shells?Copy !req
1357. - Okay, so next...
- Yeah?Copy !req
1358. Bye-bye.Copy !req
1359. Bye.Copy !req
1360. Bye-bye.Copy !req