1. Pick a color.Copy !req
2. - Blue.
- B-L-U-E. Pick a number.Copy !req
3. - Eight.
- 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8.Copy !req
4. Pick one more number.Copy !req
5. - Fifteen.
- 1,2,3,4...Copy !req
6. 5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,
13,14,15.Copy !req
7. Pick another number.Copy !req
8. - Six.
- Okay.Copy !req
9. « Dream is destiny. »Copy !req
10. Rock out.Copy !req
11. Rock'n'roll.Copy !req
12. Low strings. Begin!Copy !req
13. Sara, try that thing
you asked me about.Copy !req
14. - Will you try it more subdued?
- Okay.Copy !req
15. - Try it, see what you think.
- That one?Copy !req
16. But I want it to sound rich
and almost a little wavy...Copy !req
17. due to being a bit out of tune.Copy !req
18. - You want it...
- Slightly detached.Copy !req
19. That's what I was wondering.Copy !req
20. We're going:Copy !req
21. - Yeah. You got it.
- Okay.Copy !req
22. Snazzy, people!Copy !req
23. Okay, pickup to 20, please.Copy !req
24. - This is the pickup to 20.
- Okay.Copy !req
25. One, two, three.Copy !req
26. Hey, it's me.
I just got back into town.Copy !req
27. I thought I'd bum a ride,
but that's cool.Copy !req
28. I can just take a cab,
something like that.Copy !req
29. I guess I'll hang out with you later
or something.Copy !req
30. Ahoy there, matey!
You in for the long haul?Copy !req
31. Do you need a lift on down the line?Copy !req
32. I was waiting for a cab, but...Copy !req
33. All right. Don't miss the boat.Copy !req
34. - Hey, thanks.
- Not a problem.Copy !req
35. Anchors aweigh!Copy !req
36. What do you think of my vessel?Copy !req
37. She's « see-worthy."S-E-E.
See with your eyes.Copy !req
38. My transport should be an extension
of my personality. Voilà!Copy !req
39. And this is my window to the world.
Every minute's a different show.Copy !req
40. I may not understand it
or agree with it...Copy !req
41. but I accept it
and just sort of glide along.Copy !req
42. Keep things on an even keel, I say.Copy !req
43. Go with the flow.
The sea refuses no river.Copy !req
44. The idea is to remain in a state
of departure, while always arriving.Copy !req
45. It saves on introductions
and goodbyes.Copy !req
46. The ride requires no explanation,
just occupants.Copy !req
47. That's where you come in.Copy !req
48. It's like you come onto this planet
with a crayon box.Copy !req
49. You may get the eight-pack
or the 16-pack...Copy !req
50. but it's all in what you do with
the crayons, the colors you're given.Copy !req
51. Don't worry about coloring
within the lines.Copy !req
52. Color outside the lines
and off the page! Don't box me in!Copy !req
53. We're in motion to the ocean.
We are not landlocked!Copy !req
54. So where do you want out?Copy !req
55. Who, me? Am I first? I don't know.
Really, anywhere is fine.Copy !req
56. - Just give me an address, okay?
- Uh...Copy !req
57. Tell you what.
Go up three more streets.Copy !req
58. Take a right. Go two more blocks.
Drop him off on the next corner.Copy !req
59. Where's that?Copy !req
60. I don't know, but it's somewhere.Copy !req
61. And it'll determine the course
of the rest of your life.Copy !req
62. All ashore that's going ashore!Copy !req
63. Toot, toot.Copy !req
64. I refuse to take existentialism
as just another fashion...Copy !req
65. or historical curiosity...Copy !req
66. because it has something important
to offer for the new century.Copy !req
67. I'm afraid we're losing the real
virtues of living life passionately...Copy !req
68. taking responsibility
for who you are...Copy !req
69. making something of yourself
and feeling good about life.Copy !req
70. Existentialism is often discussed
as a philosophy of despair...Copy !req
71. but I think it's the opposite.Copy !req
72. Sartre once said he never really
felt a day of despair in his life.Copy !req
73. One thing that comes
from these guys...Copy !req
74. is not a sense of anguish
so much as...Copy !req
75. an exuberance of feeling
on top of it.Copy !req
76. It's like your life
is yours to create.Copy !req
77. I've read
the postmodernists with interest.Copy !req
78. But I always have this awful,
nagging feeling...Copy !req
79. that something essential
is left out.Copy !req
80. The more you talk about a person...Copy !req
81. as a social construction
or a confluence of forces...Copy !req
82. or as fragmented or marginalized...Copy !req
83. then you open up
a whole new world of excuses.Copy !req
84. When Sartre talks about
responsibility, it's not abstract.Copy !req
85. It's not the kind of self or soul
that theologians argue about.Copy !req
86. It's something concrete.
It's us talking...Copy !req
87. making decisions
and taking the consequences.Copy !req
88. There are six billion
people in the world.Copy !req
89. Nevertheless, what you do
makes a difference.Copy !req
90. It makes a difference
in material terms and to other people.Copy !req
91. It sets an example.Copy !req
92. The message is, we should
never write ourselves off...Copy !req
93. and see ourselves as victims
of various forces.Copy !req
94. It's always our decision who we are.Copy !req
95. Creation comes out of imperfection.Copy !req
96. It seems to come out of a striving
and a frustration.Copy !req
97. This is where, I think,
language came from.Copy !req
98. I mean, it came from our desire
to transcend our isolation...Copy !req
99. and have some connection
with one another.Copy !req
100. It had to be easy when
it was just simple survival.Copy !req
101. « Water. » We came up
with a sound for that.Copy !req
102. « Tiger behind you! »
We made a sound for that.Copy !req
103. But when it gets really
interesting, I think...Copy !req
104. is when we use
that same system of symbols...Copy !req
105. to communicate all the abstract and
intangible things we're experiencing.Copy !req
106. What is « frustration »?
Or what is « anger » or « love »?Copy !req
107. When I say « love »...Copy !req
108. the sound comes out of my mouth
and hits the other person's ear...Copy !req
109. travels through this byzantine
conduit in their brain...Copy !req
110. through their memories of love
or lack of love.Copy !req
111. They say they understand, but how
do I know? Because words are inert.Copy !req
112. They're just symbols. They're dead.
You know?Copy !req
113. And so much of our experience
is intangible.Copy !req
114. So much of what we perceive cannot
be expressed. It's unspeakable.Copy !req
115. And yet, you know, when we
communicate with one another...Copy !req
116. and we feel we have connected
and think we're understood...Copy !req
117. I think we have a feeling
of almost spiritual communion.Copy !req
118. That feeling may be transient,
but it's what we live for.Copy !req
119. To look at human development,
look at the organism's evolution...Copy !req
120. and his environmental interaction.Copy !req
121. Evolution of the organism begins
with evolution through the hominid...Copy !req
122. coming to the evolution of man.
Neanderthal, Cro-Magnon.Copy !req
123. Now, what you're looking at here
are three strings:Copy !req
124. Biological, anthropological,
development of cultures...Copy !req
125. and cultural,
which is human expression.Copy !req
126. What you've seen is the evolution
of populations, not individuals.Copy !req
127. Then look at the time scale involved.Copy !req
128. Two billion years for life,
six million for the hominid...Copy !req
129. 100,000 years for mankind
as we know it.Copy !req
130. You see how the evolutionary
paradigm telescopes.Copy !req
131. Then when you get to agriculture,
scientific and industrial revolution...Copy !req
132. you're looking at 10,000 years,
400 years, 150 years.Copy !req
133. You see a further telescoping
of evolutionary time.Copy !req
134. As we go through the new evolution...Copy !req
135. it will telescope to the point
where we see it within our lifetime.Copy !req
136. The new evolution stems
from two types of information:Copy !req
137. Digital and analog.
Digital is artificial intelligence.Copy !req
138. Analog results from molecular biology
and cloning.Copy !req
139. You knit the two with neurobiology.Copy !req
140. Under the old paradigm, one would
die, the other would dominate.Copy !req
141. Under the new paradigm, they exist
as a supportive...Copy !req
142. non-competitive grouping,
independent from the external.Copy !req
143. So evolution now becomes an
individually centered process...Copy !req
144. emanating from the individual...Copy !req
145. not a passive process with the
individual at the collective's whim.Copy !req
146. So you produce a neo-human...Copy !req
147. with a new individuality,
a new consciousness.Copy !req
148. That's only the beginning
of the cycle.Copy !req
149. As it proceeds,
the input is this new intelligence.Copy !req
150. As intelligence piles on intelligence,
ability on ability...Copy !req
151. the speed changes until you reach
a crescendo.Copy !req
152. Imagine it as an instant fulfillment
of human and neo-human potential.Copy !req
153. It could be the amplification
of the individual...Copy !req
154. the multiplication of individual,
parallel existences...Copy !req
155. with the individual no longer
restricted by time and space.Copy !req
156. And the manifestations of this
neo-human evolution...Copy !req
157. could be dramatically
counterintuitive.Copy !req
158. The old evolution is cold,
it's sterile. It's efficient.Copy !req
159. Its manifestations are
those of social adaption.Copy !req
160. You're talking about parasitism,
dominance, morality...Copy !req
161. war, predation.Copy !req
162. These will be subject to de-emphasis
and de-evolution.Copy !req
163. The new paradigm would give us
the traits...Copy !req
164. of truth, loyalty,
justice and freedom.Copy !req
165. These would be manifestations of
this evolution. That's what we hope.Copy !req
166. Self-destructive man feels completely
alienated. Utterly alone.Copy !req
167. He's an outsider to the community.Copy !req
168. He thinks to himself,
« I must be insane. »Copy !req
169. What he fails to realize
is that society has, as he does...Copy !req
170. an interest in considerable
losses, in catastrophes.Copy !req
171. Wars, famines, floods and quakes
meet well-defined needs.Copy !req
172. Man wants chaos.
In fact, he's gotta have it.Copy !req
173. Depression, strife, riots, murder.
All this dread.Copy !req
174. We're drawn to that almost orgiastic
state created out of destruction.Copy !req
175. It's in all of us. We revel in it.Copy !req
176. The media puts a sad face on things,
painting them as human tragedies.Copy !req
177. But the media's function is not
to eliminate the evils of the world.Copy !req
178. They persuade us to accept those evils
and get used to living with them.Copy !req
179. The powers that be
want us to be passive observers.Copy !req
180. Have you got a match?Copy !req
181. They haven't given us any other
options, outside the occasional...Copy !req
182. purely symbolic,
participatory act of « voting. »Copy !req
183. Do you want the puppet on the right
or the puppet on the left?Copy !req
184. The time has come to project my
inadequacies and dissatisfactions...Copy !req
185. into the sociopolitical
and scientific schemes.Copy !req
186. Let my own lack of a voice be heard.Copy !req
187. I keep thinking about
something you said.Copy !req
188. - Something I said?
- Yeah.Copy !req
189. About feeling like you
observe your life...Copy !req
190. from the perspective of
an old woman about to die. Remember?Copy !req
191. Yeah. I still feel that way sometimes.Copy !req
192. Like I'm looking back on my life.Copy !req
193. Like my waking life is her memories.Copy !req
194. Exactly.Copy !req
195. I heard that Tim Leary said
as he was dying...Copy !req
196. he looked forward to when his
body was dead but his brain was alive.Copy !req
197. Those six to 12 minutes of brain
activity after everything shuts down.Copy !req
198. And a second of dream consciousness
is infinitely longer than a waking one.Copy !req
199. - Know what I mean?
- Yeah.Copy !req
200. Like, I wake up at 10:12.
Then I go back to sleep...Copy !req
201. and have long, intricate dreams that
seem hours long. Then I wake up and...Copy !req
202. it's 10:13.Copy !req
203. Exactly. So in that six to 12 minutes
of brain activity...Copy !req
204. that could be your life.Copy !req
205. You are that woman,
looking back over everything.Copy !req
206. If I am? What would you be in that?Copy !req
207. Whatever I am now.Copy !req
208. I mean, maybe I only exist
in your mind.Copy !req
209. I'm still just as real
as anything else.Copy !req
210. Yeah.Copy !req
211. I've been thinking about
something you said.Copy !req
212. What's that?Copy !req
213. About reincarnation, and where
all the new souls come from over time.Copy !req
214. Everybody always...Copy !req
215. says they're the reincarnation
of Cleopatra or Alexander the Great.Copy !req
216. You know they were a dumb fuck
like everyone else.Copy !req
217. I mean, it's impossible.Copy !req
218. The world population has doubled
in the past 40 years.Copy !req
219. - So if you believe in one eternal soul...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
220. you have a 50% chance of your soul
being over 40.Copy !req
221. For it to be over 150 years old,
it's only one out of six.Copy !req
222. Are you saying reincarnation doesn't
exist? Or we're all young souls?Copy !req
223. - Half of us are first-round humans?
- No, no.Copy !req
224. - What I'm saying...
- What's your point?Copy !req
225. I believe reincarnation
is a poetic expression...Copy !req
226. of what collective memory is.Copy !req
227. - I read an article by a biochemist.
- Right.Copy !req
228. He said when a member
of a species is born...Copy !req
229. it has a billion years
of memory to draw on.Copy !req
230. This is where we inherit
our instincts.Copy !req
231. I like that. Like there's...Copy !req
232. this telepathic thing going on
that we're a part of...Copy !req
233. whether we're conscious of it
or not. That would explain these...Copy !req
234. seemingly spontaneous, worldwide,
innovative leaps in science and art.Copy !req
235. Like the same results popping up
everywhere, independent of each other.Copy !req
236. A guy on a computer figures something
out and simultaneously...Copy !req
237. a bunch of people
figure out the same thing.Copy !req
238. They did this study.
They isolated a group over time...Copy !req
239. and they monitored their abilities
at crossword puzzles...Copy !req
240. - Uh-huh.
In relation to the population.Copy !req
241. Then they secretly gave them a day-old
crossword. One already done by people.Copy !req
242. Their scores went up dramatically.
Like 20%.Copy !req
243. It's like once the answers are out
there, people can pick up on them.Copy !req
244. It's like we're all telepathically
sharing our experiences.Copy !req
245. I'll get you fuckers
if it's the last thing I do.Copy !req
246. You're gonna pay
for what you did to me.Copy !req
247. For every second I spend
in this hellhole...Copy !req
248. I'll see you spend a year
in living hell!Copy !req
249. You fucks will beg me to let you die.
But no, not yet.Copy !req
250. I want you cocksuckers to suffer.Copy !req
251. I'll fix your asses.
Maybe a long needle in your eardrum.Copy !req
252. Or a hot cigar in your eye.Copy !req
253. Nothing fancy.Copy !req
254. Some molten lead up the ass?Copy !req
255. Or, better still,
some of that old Apache shit.Copy !req
256. Cut your eyelids off.Copy !req
257. I'll just listen to you fucks
screaming.Copy !req
258. What sweet music that'll be.Copy !req
259. We'll do it in the hospital...Copy !req
260. with doctors and nurses,
so you pricks don't die too quick.Copy !req
261. You know the best part?Copy !req
262. The best part is you faggots
will have your eyelids cut off...Copy !req
263. so you'll have to watch me
do it to you.Copy !req
264. You'll see me bring that cigar closer
and closer to your wide-open eye...Copy !req
265. till you're almost
out of your mind. But not quite.Copy !req
266. I want it to last a long, long time.Copy !req
267. I want you to know it's me.
I'm the one doing it to you. Me!Copy !req
268. That sissy psychiatrist,
what unmitigated ignorance!Copy !req
269. And that old drunken fart of a judge.
What a pompous ass!Copy !req
270. Judge not, lest ye be judged!Copy !req
271. All of you pukes are gonna die
the day I get out of this shithole!Copy !req
272. I guarantee you'll regret
the day you met me!Copy !req
273. In today's world-view,
science has taken the place of God...Copy !req
274. but some philosophical
problems are still troubling.Copy !req
275. Take free will.Copy !req
276. This problem has been around
since Aristotle, in 350 B.C.Copy !req
277. St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas
worried how we can be free...Copy !req
278. if God already knows
what we're gonna do.Copy !req
279. Nowadays, we know the world works
by fundamental physical laws.Copy !req
280. These laws govern the behavior
of every object in the world.Copy !req
281. Since these laws are trustworthy, they
enable technological achievements.Copy !req
282. We're physical systems too. Complex
arrangements of carbon, mostly water.Copy !req
283. Our behavior isn't an
exception to these laws.Copy !req
284. So whether it's God setting things up
in advance and knowing everything...Copy !req
285. or physical laws governing us,
there's not much room for freedom.Copy !req
286. You might want to ignore
the mystery of free will.Copy !req
287. To say, « It's a historical
anecdote, it's sophomoric.Copy !req
288. It's a question with no answer.
Forget about it. »Copy !req
289. But the question remains. If you think
about individuality, who you are...Copy !req
290. is based on the free choices
you make. Or take responsibility.Copy !req
291. You're only held responsible
or admired or respected...Copy !req
292. for things you do
of your own free will.Copy !req
293. The question keeps coming
and we have no solution.Copy !req
294. Decisions can seem like charades.Copy !req
295. Imagine it. There's electrical
activity in the brain. Neurons fire...Copy !req
296. sending a signal through the nerves
into the muscle fibers. They twitch.Copy !req
297. You reach out your arm.
It looks like a free action...Copy !req
298. but every part of that process...Copy !req
299. is governed by physical laws.
Chemical, electrical, and so on.Copy !req
300. It looks like the big bang
set the initial conditions...Copy !req
301. and the whole
rest of human history...Copy !req
302. is the reaction of subatomic
particles to basic physical laws.Copy !req
303. We think we're special,
we have dignity.Copy !req
304. That now is threatened.
It's challenged by this picture.Copy !req
305. You might say, « What about quantum
mechanics? I know enough...Copy !req
306. to know it's a
probabilistic theory.Copy !req
307. It's loose, not deterministic.
It lets us understand free will. »Copy !req
308. But if you look at details
it won't really help...Copy !req
309. because you have quantum particles,
and their behavior is random.Copy !req
310. They sort of swerve.
Their behavior is absurd...Copy !req
311. and unpredictable. We can't
study it based on what came before.Copy !req
312. It has a probabilistic framework.Copy !req
313. Is freedom just
a matter of probabilities?Copy !req
314. Randomness in a chaotic system?Copy !req
315. I'd rather be a gear in
a deterministic, physical machine...Copy !req
316. than some random swerving.Copy !req
317. We can't ignore the problem. We must
find room in our world-view for persons.Copy !req
318. Not just bodies, but persons.
There's the freedom problem...Copy !req
319. find room for choice and responsibility
and understanding individuality.Copy !req
320. « You can't fight city hall. »Copy !req
321. « Death and taxes." Don't talk about
politics or religion. »Copy !req
322. This is all the equivalent
of enemy propaganda.Copy !req
323. Lay down, G.I.! Lay down, G.I.!Copy !req
324. We saw it in the 20th century. Now, in
the 21st century, we must realize...Copy !req
325. that we cannot be crammed
into this rat maze.Copy !req
326. We should not submit
to dehumanization!Copy !req
327. I'm concerned with what's
happening in this world.Copy !req
328. I'm concerned with structure,
the systems of control.Copy !req
329. Those who control my life and those
who seek to control it more!Copy !req
330. I want freedom!
And that's what you should want!Copy !req
331. It's up to each of us to turn loose
the greed, hatred, envy...Copy !req
332. and insecurities, their mode of
control. We feel pathetic, small...Copy !req
333. so we'll willingly give up our
sovereignty, liberty and destiny.Copy !req
334. We must realize we're being
conditioned on a mass scale.Copy !req
335. Challenge the corporate slave state!Copy !req
336. The 21st century is a new century.
Not the century of slavery...Copy !req
337. lies and issues
of no significance...Copy !req
338. and classism, statism
and other modes of control.Copy !req
339. It'll be an age of humankind standing
up for something pure and right.Copy !req
340. What a bunch of garbage. Liberal
Democrat, conservative Republican.Copy !req
341. Two sides of the same coin!Copy !req
342. Two management teams...Copy !req
343. bidding for the CEO job
of Slavery, Inc!Copy !req
344. The truth is out there,
but they lay out a buffet of lies!Copy !req
345. I'm sick of it! And I'm not
gonna take a bite out of it!Copy !req
346. Resistance is not futile!
We will win this!Copy !req
347. Humankind is too good!
We're not underachievers!Copy !req
348. We'll stand up and be human beings!
We'll get fired up about real things!Copy !req
349. Creativity and the dynamic human
spirit that refuses to submit!Copy !req
350. Well, that's all I got to say.
It's in your court.Copy !req
351. The quest is to be
liberated from the negative...Copy !req
352. which is really our
own will to nothingness.Copy !req
353. Once having said yes to the instant,
the affirmation is contagious.Copy !req
354. It bursts into a chain of affirmations
that knows no limit.Copy !req
355. To say yes to one instant...Copy !req
356. is to say yes to all of existence.Copy !req
357. The main character is
what I call « the mind. »Copy !req
358. Its mastery, its capacity
to represent.Copy !req
359. In history, attempts have been made...Copy !req
360. to contain experiences which
happen at the edge of the limit...Copy !req
361. where the mind is vulnerable.Copy !req
362. But I think we are in a very
significant moment in history.Copy !req
363. Those moments, those what we
might call liminal, limit, frontier...Copy !req
364. X - zone experiences are
now becoming the norm.Copy !req
365. These multiplicities and distinctions
send differences, giving...Copy !req
366. great difficulty to the old mind.Copy !req
367. And through entering into their
very essence...Copy !req
368. tasting and feeling their
uniqueness...Copy !req
369. one makes a breakthrough
to that common...Copy !req
370. something that holds
them together.Copy !req
371. And so the main character
is to this new mind...Copy !req
372. greater, greater mind.Copy !req
373. A mind that yet is to be.Copy !req
374. And when we enter into that mode...Copy !req
375. you can see a radical subjectivity.Copy !req
376. Radical attunement to individuality,
uniqueness, to the mind.Copy !req
377. It opens itself to a vast objectivity.Copy !req
378. So the story is of the cosmos now.Copy !req
379. The moment is not just
a passing empty, nothing, yet...Copy !req
380. this is the way in which
these secret passages happen.Copy !req
381. Yes, it's empty with such fullness...Copy !req
382. that the great moment,
the great life...Copy !req
383. of the universe is pulsating in it.Copy !req
384. And each one, each object,
each place...Copy !req
385. each act, leaves mark.Copy !req
386. And that story is singular.
But, in fact, it's story after story.Copy !req
387. It dissolves into
quick-moving particles that swirl.Copy !req
388. Either I'm moving fast, or time is.
Never both simultaneously.Copy !req
389. It's such a strange paradox.Copy !req
390. I'm closer to the end of my life
than I've ever been...Copy !req
391. but I feel more than ever that
I have all the time in the world.Copy !req
392. When I was younger,
there was a need for...Copy !req
393. certainty. I had to get
to the end of the path.Copy !req
394. I know what you mean.
I remember thinking:Copy !req
395. Someday, in my mid-30s maybe...Copy !req
396. everything's going to somehow
gel and settle.Copy !req
397. - Mm-hm.
- Just end.Copy !req
398. It was like there was a plateau...Copy !req
399. waiting for me. I was climbing up.
When I got to the top...Copy !req
400. all growth and change would stop.Copy !req
401. - Even exhilaration.
- Oh.Copy !req
402. But it hasn't happened,
thank goodness.Copy !req
403. In our youth, we don't take into
account our curiosity.Copy !req
404. That's what's great about being human.Copy !req
405. Yeah. You know what Benedict Anderson
says about identity?Copy !req
406. - No.
- He talks about, say, a baby picture.Copy !req
407. You pick up this two-dimensional image
and say, « That's me. »Copy !req
408. To connect this baby in this weird
image with yourself in the present...Copy !req
409. you have to make up a story.Copy !req
410. « This is me when I was a year old.
Later, I had long hair...Copy !req
411. and then we moved to Riverdale,
and here I am. »Copy !req
412. So it takes a story
that's actually a fiction...Copy !req
413. to make you and the baby identical.Copy !req
414. - To create your identity.
- The funny thing is...Copy !req
415. our cells completely
regenerate every seven years.Copy !req
416. We've been several different people.Copy !req
417. And yet, we always remain
quintessentially ourselves.Copy !req
418. Our critique began as all critiques
begin, with doubt.Copy !req
419. Doubt became our narrative.Copy !req
420. Ours was a quest for
a new story, our own.Copy !req
421. We grasped for this new history,
driven by suspicion...Copy !req
422. that ordinary language
couldn't tell it.Copy !req
423. Our past appeared frozen in the
distance, and our every gesture...Copy !req
424. signified negation of the old
world and the reach for a new one.Copy !req
425. How we lived created a new situation
of exuberance and friendship.Copy !req
426. A subversive micro-society
in the heart of an ignoring society.Copy !req
427. Art was not the goal, but the occasion
and method for locating our rhythm...Copy !req
428. and buried possibilities
of our time.Copy !req
429. It was about the true discovery of
communication. Or the quest for such.Copy !req
430. Finding and losing it.Copy !req
431. We, the unappeased,
continued looking...Copy !req
432. filling silences with
wishes, fears, fantasies.Copy !req
433. Driven on by the fact that no matter
how empty the world seemed...Copy !req
434. no matter how
degraded and used-up...Copy !req
435. anything was possible.
Given the right circumstances...Copy !req
436. a new world was just
as likely as an old one.Copy !req
437. There are two kinds of sufferers:Copy !req
438. Those who suffer
from a lack of life...Copy !req
439. and those who suffer from
an overabundance of life.Copy !req
440. I've always found myself
in the second category.Copy !req
441. When you think of it, almost all
human behavior and activity...Copy !req
442. is essentially no different
from animal behavior.Copy !req
443. The most advanced technologies
and craftsmanship bring us at best...Copy !req
444. up to the super-chimpanzee level.Copy !req
445. Actually, the gap between, say, Plato
or Nietzsche and the average human...Copy !req
446. is greater than between that
chimpanzee and the average human.Copy !req
447. The realm of the real spirit...Copy !req
448. the true artist, the saint, the
philosopher, is rarely achieved.Copy !req
449. Why so few?Copy !req
450. Why is world history and evolution
not stories of progress...Copy !req
451. but an endless and futile
addition of zeros?Copy !req
452. No greater values have developed.Copy !req
453. Hell, the Greeks 3000 years
ago were just as advanced as we are.Copy !req
454. What are the barriers
that keep people...Copy !req
455. from reaching anywhere near
their real potential?Copy !req
456. The answer to that can be found in
another question, and that's this:Copy !req
457. Which is the most universal
human characteristic?Copy !req
458. Fear...Copy !req
459. or laziness?Copy !req
460. What are you writing?Copy !req
461. A novel.Copy !req
462. What's the story?Copy !req
463. There's no story. It's just...Copy !req
464. people, gestures, moments.Copy !req
465. Bits of rapture. Fleeting emotions.Copy !req
466. In short...Copy !req
467. the greatest stories ever told.Copy !req
468. Are you in the story?Copy !req
469. I don't think so.Copy !req
470. But then I'm kind of reading it
and then writing it.Copy !req
471. It was in the desert, the middle of
nowhere, on the way to Vegas.Copy !req
472. So you know, every once
in a while a car would stop for gas.Copy !req
473. It was the last gas stop before Vegas.Copy !req
474. There was a chair and a cash register.
That was all the room there was.Copy !req
475. I was asleep and I heard a noise.Copy !req
476. You know, just like in my mind.
So I got up...Copy !req
477. and I walked out
and stood on the curb...Copy !req
478. where the gas station ends.
You know, the driveway.Copy !req
479. I'm rubbing my eyes,
trying to see what's going on.Copy !req
480. And way down, at the very end of the
gas station, they had tire racks...Copy !req
481. with chains around them.Copy !req
482. And I see there's
an Éconoline van down there.Copy !req
483. And a guy with his T-shirt off.Copy !req
484. And he's packing this Éconoline van...Copy !req
485. with all these tires.Copy !req
486. He's got the last two tires
in his hands.Copy !req
487. Pushes them into the thing.
And I, of course, I go, « Hey, you! »Copy !req
488. This guy turns around.
He's got no shirt on. He's sweating.Copy !req
489. Built like a brick shithouse.
Pulls out a knife, 12 inches long...Copy !req
490. and starts running at me
as fast as he can, going:Copy !req
491. Haaaa!Copy !req
492. I'm still:Copy !req
493. « This is wrong. »Copy !req
494. I walked in...Copy !req
495. stuck my hand behind the register
where the owner kept a. 41 revolver.Copy !req
496. I pull it out...Copy !req
497. cock the trigger...Copy !req
498. and as I turn around, he's coming
through the door. I saw his eyes.Copy !req
499. I'll never forget this guy's eyes.Copy !req
500. He just had bad thoughts
about me in his eyes.Copy !req
501. I fired a round and it hit him,
boom, right in the chest.Copy !req
502. Bang! As fast as he came in the door,
he went out the door.Copy !req
503. He went right up between
the two pumps, ethyl and regular.Copy !req
504. He must have been on drugs, on speed
or something, because he stood up.Copy !req
505. He still had the knife, and blood
was just all over his chest.Copy !req
506. He stood up and went like that,
just moved a little. I'm in shock.Copy !req
507. So I held the trigger back and fanned the
hammer, it was one of those old-Copy !req
508. I blew him out of the gas station.Copy !req
509. Ever since then, I always carry this.Copy !req
510. A well-armed populace
is the best defense against tyranny.Copy !req
511. I'll drink to that.Copy !req
512. You know, I haven't fired this in
a long time, I don't know if it works.Copy !req
513. Pull the trigger and find out.Copy !req
514. Hey, man, I guess you already
took off or something.Copy !req
515. Remind me to tell you about this dream
I had. There was some funny stuff.Copy !req
516. All right, man.
I guess I'll catch you later. Okay.Copy !req
517. In the bareback riding.
Copenhagen William from Mike Sankey...Copy !req
518. Then, for a hatband,
sew it into the inside...Copy !req
519. I do not await the future...Copy !req
520. anticipating salvation, absolution
or even enlightenment.Copy !req
521. I believe that this flawed perfection
is sufficient and complete...Copy !req
522. in every single, ineffable moment.Copy !req
523. - the Blond Bee, Firefly, Snake...Copy !req
524. - lunatic macaroni munchkin
with my goo-gat...Copy !req
525. - venerable tradition of sorcerers,
shamans and visionaries...Copy !req
526. who have perfected
the art of dream travel...Copy !req
527. the so-called lucid dream state,
where, by controlling your dreams...Copy !req
528. you can discover things beyond your
apprehension in your awake state.Copy !req
529. - winning back-to...Copy !req
530. She tells him what Felix is doing.Copy !req
531. A single ego
is an absurdly narrow vantage...Copy !req
532. from which to view this experience.Copy !req
533. Where most consider their
relationship to the universe...Copy !req
534. I contemplate relationships
of my various selves to one another.Copy !req
535. While most with mobility
problems can barely get around...Copy !req
536. at age 92, Joy Cullison's
out seeing the world.Copy !req
537. Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
538. They say dreams are real
only as long as they last.Copy !req
539. Can't we say that about life?Copy !req
540. A lot of us are mapping the
mind-body relationship of dreams.Copy !req
541. We're called oneironauts,
explorers of the dream world.Copy !req
542. There are two opposing states
of consciousness...Copy !req
543. that don't oppose at all.Copy !req
544. In the waking world, the neuro system
inhibits the vividness of memories.Copy !req
545. It makes evolutionary sense.Copy !req
546. It'd be maladapted if a predator...Copy !req
547. could be mistaken
for the memory of one...Copy !req
548. and vice versa.
If the memory of a predator...Copy !req
549. conjured up a perceptual image...Copy !req
550. we'd run whenever we
had a scary thought.Copy !req
551. Your serotonic neurons
inhibit hallucinations.Copy !req
552. They themselves are inhibited
during REM sleep.Copy !req
553. This allows dreams to appear real
but prevents competition...Copy !req
554. from other perceptions.Copy !req
555. This is why dreams
are mistaken for reality.Copy !req
556. To the functional system of neural
activity that creates our world...Copy !req
557. there is no difference between
dreaming a perception and an action...Copy !req
558. and actually the waking
perception and action.Copy !req
559. A friend once told me the worst
mistake you can make...Copy !req
560. is to think that you are alive...Copy !req
561. when really you're asleep
in life's waiting room.Copy !req
562. The trick is to combine your waking
rational abilities...Copy !req
563. with the infinite possibilities
of your dreams.Copy !req
564. Because if you can do that,
you can do anything.Copy !req
565. Ever have a job you hated
and worked real hard at?Copy !req
566. A long, hard day of work, finally you
go home, get in bed, close your eyes.Copy !req
567. Then you wake up and realize the whole
day at work had been a dream.Copy !req
568. It's bad enough you sell
your waking life for...Copy !req
569. minimum wage, but now
they get your dreams for free.Copy !req
570. Hey, man, what are you doing here?Copy !req
571. I fancy myself a social lubricator
of the dream world...Copy !req
572. helping people get lucid easier.Copy !req
573. Cut out the fear and anxiety
and just rock'n'roll.Copy !req
574. Becoming lucid, you mean knowing
you're dreaming?Copy !req
575. Then you can control it. They're more
realistic than non-lucid dreams.Copy !req
576. I just woke from a dream.Copy !req
577. It wasn't typical, more like
I was in an alternate universe.Copy !req
578. Yep, it's real. Technically,
it's a phenomenon of sleep...Copy !req
579. but you can have so much
fun in dreams.Copy !req
580. - And everyone knows, fun rules.
- Yeah.Copy !req
581. - What was going on in your dream?
- A lot of people talking.Copy !req
582. Some was absurdist,
like from a strange movie.Copy !req
583. Mostly people went off about
whatever, really intensely.Copy !req
584. I woke up wondering...Copy !req
585. where did this stuff come from?
- You can control that.Copy !req
586. - You have these dreams a lot?
- I always make the best of it.Copy !req
587. You have to realize you're
dreaming in the first place.Copy !req
588. To recognize it.Copy !req
589. You have to be able to ask yourself,
« Is this a dream? »Copy !req
590. Most people never ask themselves that,
awake or asleep.Copy !req
591. People sleepwalk in the waking
state and wakewalk through dreams.Copy !req
592. They don't get much out of it.Copy !req
593. What snapped me into realizing
I was dreaming was my clock.Copy !req
594. I couldn't read it,
like the circuitry was screwed up.Copy !req
595. That's common. Small printed material
is pretty tough too. Very unstable.Copy !req
596. Another tip-off is trying
to adjust light levels. You can't.Copy !req
597. If you see a light switch nearby,
see if it works.Copy !req
598. You can't do that in a lucid dream.Copy !req
599. What the hell? I can fly around, have
a conversation with Albert Schweitzer.Copy !req
600. I can explore new
dimensions of reality.Copy !req
601. Not to mention, I can have any kind
of sex I want. Which is way cool.Copy !req
602. So I can't adjust lights!Copy !req
603. So that's what you do to test
if you're dreaming?Copy !req
604. You can train yourself to recognize it.Copy !req
605. Hit a switch now and then.Copy !req
606. If the lights are on and you can't
turn them off, you're dreaming.Copy !req
607. Then you can get down to business.
And it's unlimited.Copy !req
608. - Know what I've been working on?
- What?Copy !req
609. It's way ambitious.
But I'm getting better at it.Copy !req
610. You'll dig this.Copy !req
611. Three-sixty vision, man. I can see
in all directions. Cool, huh?Copy !req
612. Yeah! Man...
Well, I gotta go, man.Copy !req
613. Later. Super perfundo
on the early eve of your day.Copy !req
614. What's that mean?Copy !req
615. I've never figured it out.
Maybe you can.Copy !req
616. This guy always whispers it in my ear.Copy !req
617. Louis.
He's a recurring dream character.Copy !req
618. Cinema, in its essence...Copy !req
619. is about reproduction of reality,
which is, reality is reproduced.Copy !req
620. For him,
it's not a storytelling medium.Copy !req
621. He feels like...Copy !req
622. like film... Like literature
is better for telling a story.Copy !req
623. Mm-hm. Yeah.Copy !req
624. Like if you tell a joke.
« A guy walks into a bar...Copy !req
625. and sees a dwarf. »Copy !req
626. That works. You imagine a guy and a
dwarf in a bar, and it's imaginative.Copy !req
627. But in film,
you film a specific guy...Copy !req
628. in a specific bar with a specific
dwarf who looks a certain way.Copy !req
629. Like, for Bazin, what
the ontology of film has to do with...Copy !req
630. is what photography has...
- Right.Copy !req
631. except it adds time
and greater realism.Copy !req
632. So it's about that guy,
at that moment, in that space.Copy !req
633. And Bazin is, like, a Christian,
so he believes...Copy !req
634. in God, obviously,
and that everything...Copy !req
635. For him, reality and God are the same.Copy !req
636. So what film is actually capturing is,
like, God incarnate, creating...Copy !req
637. and, like this very moment,
God is manifesting as this.Copy !req
638. What film would capture
here right now...Copy !req
639. would be God as this table, as you,
as me. God looking how we look...Copy !req
640. saying and thinking what we think,
because we're all God manifest.Copy !req
641. Mm-hm.Copy !req
642. So film is a record of God,
or the ever-changing face of God.Copy !req
643. You have a mosquito. Want me to...?Copy !req
644. - You got it.
- I got it?Copy !req
645. - Yeah, you got it.
- Okay.Copy !req
646. Hollywood has taken film and made it
a storytelling medium. You take...Copy !req
647. books or stories, get a script
and find someone who fits it.Copy !req
648. It's ridiculous.
It shouldn't be based on the script.Copy !req
649. It should be based on the person
or the thing.Copy !req
650. They're right to have the star system.
Then it's about that person...Copy !req
651. - Right, yeah.
Instead of the story.Copy !req
652. Truffaut said the best films
aren't made...Copy !req
653. The best scripts
don't make the best films.Copy !req
654. They have a narrative
you're a slave to.Copy !req
655. The best films are the ones
that aren't tied to that, slavishly.Copy !req
656. So the narrative thing seems to me...Copy !req
657. There's narrativity to film
because it's in time, like music.Copy !req
658. But you don't think of the story of
the song. It comes out of the moment.Copy !req
659. That's what film has.
It's that moment, which is holy.Copy !req
660. This moment is holy.
We walk around like it's not.Copy !req
661. Like there are some holy moments
and others are not.Copy !req
662. Right.Copy !req
663. Like, this moment is holy. Film lets us
see that, can frame it so we see it.Copy !req
664. « Holy, holy, holy » moment by moment.
But who can live that way?Copy !req
665. Because if I were to look at you and
let you be holy, I would stop talking.Copy !req
666. You'd be in the moment.
The moment is holy, right?Copy !req
667. Yeah, I'd be open.
I'd look in your eyes...Copy !req
668. I'd cry and I'd feel this stuff,
and that's not polite.Copy !req
669. It'd make you uncomfortable.Copy !req
670. You could laugh too.
Why would you cry?Copy !req
671. Well, I don't know.
For me, I just tend to cry.Copy !req
672. Uh-huh. Well, is the...?Copy !req
673. Let's do it right now.
Let's have a holy moment.Copy !req
674. Okay.Copy !req
675. - Everything is layers.
- Yeah.Copy !req
676. There's the holy moment, then...Copy !req
677. the awareness of it. Like in film,
the actual moment happens...Copy !req
678. then the character pretends to be
in a different reality. It's layers.Copy !req
679. I was in and out of the holy moment,
looking at you.Copy !req
680. You can't...
You're unique that way, Caveh.Copy !req
681. That's one of the reasons I enjoy you.
You can bring me into that.Copy !req
682. If the world is false and nothing
is true, then everything is possible.Copy !req
683. On the way to finding what we love, we
find what blocks us from our desire.Copy !req
684. Comfort will never be comfortable.Copy !req
685. A systematic questioning of happiness.Copy !req
686. Cut the vocal cords of every empowered
speaker and devalue currency.Copy !req
687. To confront the familiar.
Society is a fraud so complete...Copy !req
688. and venal, it demands
to be destroyed beyond memory.Copy !req
689. If there's fire, we'll carry gas.Copy !req
690. Interrupt everyday experience
and the expectations that go with it.Copy !req
691. Live as if things depend
on your actions.Copy !req
692. Rupture the spell
of the consumer society...Copy !req
693. so our repressed desires
can come forward.Copy !req
694. Demonstrate what life is
and what it could be.Copy !req
695. To immerse ourselves
in the oblivion of actions.Copy !req
696. There'll be an intensity never known.
To exchange love and hate...Copy !req
697. terror and redemption.Copy !req
698. Affirmation of freedom so reckless
it amounts to a denial of limitation.Copy !req
699. - Hey, what are you doing?
- I'm not sure.Copy !req
700. You need any help getting down, sir?Copy !req
701. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
702. Stupid bastard.Copy !req
703. No worse than us.
He's all action, no theory.Copy !req
704. We're all theory and no action.Copy !req
705. Why so glum, Mr. Deborg?Copy !req
706. What was missing
was felt irretrievable.Copy !req
707. The extreme uncertainties
of subsisting without working...Copy !req
708. made excesses necessary...Copy !req
709. and breaks definitive.Copy !req
710. To quote Stevenson:Copy !req
711. « Suicide carried off many.Copy !req
712. Drink and the devil...Copy !req
713. took care of the rest. »Copy !req
714. - Hey!
- Hey.Copy !req
715. Are you a dreamer?Copy !req
716. Yeah.Copy !req
717. I haven't seen too many around lately.Copy !req
718. Things have been tough for dreamers.Copy !req
719. They say dreaming's dead.
No one does it anymore.Copy !req
720. It's not dead.
It's just been forgotten.Copy !req
721. Removed from our language.Copy !req
722. Nobody teaches it,
so no one knows it exists.Copy !req
723. The dreamer's banished to obscurity.Copy !req
724. I'm trying to change that.
I hope you are too...Copy !req
725. by dreaming every day.Copy !req
726. Dreaming with our hands and minds.Copy !req
727. Our planet is facing the greatest
problems it's ever faced. Ever.Copy !req
728. So don't be bored.Copy !req
729. This is the most exciting time
we could have hoped to be alive.Copy !req
730. And things are just starting.Copy !req
731. A thousand years is
an instant. There's nothing new.Copy !req
732. The same pattern over and over.
The same insights felt long ago.Copy !req
733. There's nothing here for me now.Copy !req
734. Now I remember. This happened
to me before. This is why I left.Copy !req
735. You have begun to find answers.Copy !req
736. Though difficult,
the rewards will be great.Copy !req
737. Exercise your mind fully,
knowing it is only an exercise.Copy !req
738. Build artifacts, solve problems,
explore the secrets of the universe.Copy !req
739. Savor input from all the senses.Copy !req
740. Feel joy, sorrow, laughter, empathy.
Tuck the memory in your travel bag.Copy !req
741. I remember where I'm from
and how I became human.Copy !req
742. Why I hung around.
Now my departure is scheduled.Copy !req
743. This way out. Escaping velocity.
Not just eternity, but infinity.Copy !req
744. - Excuse me.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
745. Hey.Copy !req
746. Could we do that again?
I know we haven't met...Copy !req
747. but I don't want to be an ant.Copy !req
748. We go through life
bouncing off one another...Copy !req
749. continuously on ant autopilot...Copy !req
750. with nothing really human
required of us.Copy !req
751. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there.Copy !req
752. All action basically for survival.Copy !req
753. All communication to keep
the ant colony buzzing along...Copy !req
754. in an efficient, polite manner.Copy !req
755. « Here's your change. »
« Paper or plastic?" Credit or debit? »Copy !req
756. « Want ketchup with that? »Copy !req
757. I don't want a straw,
I want real human moments.Copy !req
758. I want to see you.
I want you to see me.Copy !req
759. I don't want to give that up.
I don't want to be an ant, you know?Copy !req
760. Yeah, no...Copy !req
761. I don't want to be an ant, either.Copy !req
762. Thanks for kind of jostling me there.
I've been...Copy !req
763. on zombie autopilot. I don't feel
like an ant, but I look like one.Copy !req
764. D.H. Lawrence had this idea
of two people meeting...Copy !req
765. and instead of just passing...Copy !req
766. they accept « the confrontation
between their souls. »Copy !req
767. It's like freeing the brave,
reckless gods within us all.Copy !req
768. Then it's like we have met.Copy !req
769. I'm doing a
soap opera, you might be interested.Copy !req
770. The characters are the fantasy
lives of the performers in it.Copy !req
771. So figure out something you've always
wanted to do, or a life you want...Copy !req
772. something like that.
We write that in...Copy !req
773. then you intersect with others
in some typical soap-opera fashion.Copy !req
774. Then I also want to show it live,
with the actors present.Copy !req
775. So once the episode's screened...Copy !req
776. the audience can direct the actors
for subsequent episodes with menus.Copy !req
777. It has to do with choices...Copy !req
778. and honoring people's ability
to say what it is they want to see...Copy !req
779. and consumerism and art
and commodity...Copy !req
780. and if you don't like it, send it
back, and you get what you pay for...Copy !req
781. or just participating, you know,
making choices.Copy !req
782. So do you want to do it?Copy !req
783. Yeah, that sounds really cool.
I'd love to be in it, but...Copy !req
784. I gotta ask you a question first.
I don't know how to say it, but...Copy !req
785. What's it like to be a character
in a dream? Because...Copy !req
786. I'm not awake right now. I haven't
worn a watch since 4th grade.Copy !req
787. I think this is the same watch too.Copy !req
788. I don't know if you're able
to answer that question.Copy !req
789. I'm just trying to get a sense
of where I am and what's going on.Copy !req
790. What about you? What's your name?Copy !req
791. What's your address?
What are you doing?Copy !req
792. I can't really remember right now.
I can't really recall.Copy !req
793. But that's beside the point, whether
I can dredge up information about...Copy !req
794. my address, or my mom's
maiden name or whatnot.Copy !req
795. I've got the benefit in this reality,
if you call it that...Copy !req
796. of a consistent perspective.Copy !req
797. What is your consistent perspective?Copy !req
798. It's mostly just me
dealing with a lot of people...Copy !req
799. who are exposing me
to information and ideas...Copy !req
800. that seem vaguely familiar.Copy !req
801. But at the same time,
it's all very alien to me.Copy !req
802. I'm not in an objective,
rational world.Copy !req
803. Like, I've been flying around...Copy !req
804. It's weird,
because it's not a fixed state.Copy !req
805. It's more like a whole spectrum
of awareness.Copy !req
806. The lucidity wavers.
Right now I know I'm dreaming.Copy !req
807. We're even talking about it. This is...Copy !req
808. the most in myself
and in my thoughts I've been so far.Copy !req
809. I'm talking about being in a dream.Copy !req
810. But I'm beginning to think...Copy !req
811. it's something I don't have
any precedent for.Copy !req
812. It's totally unique.Copy !req
813. The quality of the environment...Copy !req
814. and the information I'm receiving.
Like your soap opera, for example.Copy !req
815. That's a really cool idea!Copy !req
816. I didn't come up with that.
It's outside myself...Copy !req
817. like something transmitted
to me externally.Copy !req
818. I don't know what this is.Copy !req
819. We think we're so limited
by the world and the confines...Copy !req
820. but we're really
just creating them.Copy !req
821. You keep trying to figure it out,
but now you know you're dreaming...Copy !req
822. you can do anything.
You're dreaming, but you're awake.Copy !req
823. You have...Copy !req
824. so many options,
and that's what life is about.Copy !req
825. I understand what you're saying.
It's up to me, I'm the dreamer.Copy !req
826. It's weird.Copy !req
827. So much of the information...Copy !req
828. these people have been imparting...Copy !req
829. has got this
really heavy connotation to it.Copy !req
830. Well, how do you feel?Copy !req
831. Sometimes I feel kind of isolated.Copy !req
832. Most of the time, I feel connected,
engaged in this active process.Copy !req
833. Which is weird. Most of the time
I've been passive, not responding...Copy !req
834. except for now.Copy !req
835. I've let information wash over me.Copy !req
836. It's not necessarily passive
to not respond verbally.Copy !req
837. We're communicating
on so many levels simultaneously.Copy !req
838. Perhaps you're perceiving directly.Copy !req
839. Most of the people I've encountered
and the things I want to say...Copy !req
840. it's like they say it for me,
almost at my cue.Copy !req
841. It's complete unto itself.Copy !req
842. It's not a bad dream.
It's a great dream.Copy !req
843. But...Copy !req
844. it's so unlike any other dream
I've ever had before.Copy !req
845. It's like « the » dream.Copy !req
846. It's like I'm being prepared
for something.Copy !req
847. « On this bridge, » Lorca warns...Copy !req
848. « life is not a dream.Copy !req
849. Beware and...Copy !req
850. beware and beware. »Copy !req
851. So many think because « then »
happened, « now » isn't.Copy !req
852. But didn't I mention? The ongoing
« wow » is happening right now.Copy !req
853. We are all coauthors
of this dancing exuberance...Copy !req
854. where even our inabilities
are having a roast.Copy !req
855. We are the authors of ourselves,
coauthoring a Dostoyevsky novel...Copy !req
856. starring clowns.Copy !req
857. This thing we're involved with,
the world...Copy !req
858. is an opportunity to exhibit
how exciting alienation can be.Copy !req
859. Life is a matter of a miracle...Copy !req
860. collected by moments flabbergasted
to be in each other's presence.Copy !req
861. The world is an exam...Copy !req
862. to see if we can rise
into the direct experiences.Copy !req
863. Eyesight is a test
to see if we can see beyond it.Copy !req
864. Matter is a test for our curiosity.Copy !req
865. Doubt is an exam for our vitality.Copy !req
866. Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather
participate in life than write.Copy !req
867. Giacometti was once run down by a car.Copy !req
868. He recalled falling
into a lucid faint...Copy !req
869. a sudden exhilaration...Copy !req
870. as he realized
something was happening to him.Copy !req
871. One assumes you can't understand
life and live simultaneously.Copy !req
872. I don't agree entirely. Which is
to say, I don't exactly disagree.Copy !req
873. I would say that life understood
is life lived.Copy !req
874. But the paradoxes bug me.Copy !req
875. I can learn to love, and make love,
to the paradoxes that bug me.Copy !req
876. And on romantic evenings of self...Copy !req
877. I go salsa dancing
with my confusion.Copy !req
878. Before you drift off, don't forget...Copy !req
879. which is to say, remember.Copy !req
880. Because remembering is so much more
a psychotic activity than forgetting.Copy !req
881. Lorca, in that same poem, said...Copy !req
882. that the iguana will bite
those who do not dream.Copy !req
883. And, as one realizes...Copy !req
884. that one is a dream figure
in another person's dream...Copy !req
885. that is self-awareness.Copy !req
886. You haven't met yourself yet.Copy !req
887. But the advantage to meeting others
in the meantime...Copy !req
888. is that one of them
may present you to yourself.Copy !req
889. Examine the nature of everything
you observe.Copy !req
890. For instance,
you might find yourself...Copy !req
891. walking through
a dream parking lot.Copy !req
892. And, yes, those are dream feet
inside your dream shoes.Copy !req
893. Part of your dream self.Copy !req
894. And so, the person you appear to be
in the dream...Copy !req
895. cannot be who you really are.Copy !req
896. This is an image...Copy !req
897. a mental model.Copy !req
898. - Do you remember me?
- No, I don't think so.Copy !req
899. At the station? You were on the
pay phone and you looked at me...Copy !req
900. a few times.Copy !req
901. I remember that,
but I don't remember that being you.Copy !req
902. Are you sure?Copy !req
903. Maybe not.Copy !req
904. I was sitting down...Copy !req
905. and you were looking at me.Copy !req
906. My little friend,
dream no more. It's really here.Copy !req
907. It's called Efferdent Plus.Copy !req
908. In hell, you sink. In heaven, you rise
to your fullness of love.Copy !req
909. Hurry up! Come on,
get in the car. Let's go.Copy !req
910. The story goes like this:
Billy Wilder runs into Louis Malle.Copy !req
911. This was the late'50s, early'60s.Copy !req
912. Malle had just made his most expensive
film, which cost $ 21/2 million.Copy !req
913. Wilder asks him what the film's about.Copy !req
914. Malle says, « It's a dream
within a dream. »Copy !req
915. Wilder says,
« You just lost $ 21/2 million. »Copy !req
916. I feel a little apprehensive.Copy !req
917. For years, the notion
that life is a dream...Copy !req
918. has been a pervasive theme
of philosophers and poets.Copy !req
919. Doesn't it make sense that death
would be wrapped in a dream?Copy !req
920. That, after death, your conscious life
would continue in a dream body?Copy !req
921. It would be the same dream body
as in your everyday dream life...Copy !req
922. except that in the post-mortal
state, you could never again wake up.Copy !req
923. Never again return
to your physical body.Copy !req
924. As the pattern gets more intricate,
being swept along isn't enough.Copy !req
925. What's the word, turd?Copy !req
926. - Hey, do you also drive a boat-car?
- A what?Copy !req
927. You gave me a ride in a car
that was also a boat.Copy !req
928. No, I don't have a « boat-car. »
I don't know what you mean.Copy !req
929. This must be parallel universe night.
That cat who just ran out the door?Copy !req
930. He comes up and I say,
« What's the word? »Copy !req
931. He lays down a burrito,
looks at me and says:Copy !req
932. « I've returned
from the valley of death.Copy !req
933. I rapturously breathe in
the odors of life.Copy !req
934. I've been to oblivion. I ferment
the desire to remember everything. »Copy !req
935. So, what did you say to that?Copy !req
936. Well, I mean, what could I say?Copy !req
937. I said, « If you microwave that,
poke holes in the plastic...Copy !req
938. because they explode,
and I'm tired of cleaning up burrito. »Copy !req
939. The jalapeños dry up.Copy !req
940. They're like little wheels.Copy !req
941. When it was over,
all I could think about was how...Copy !req
942. this entire notion of oneself...Copy !req
943. what we are...Copy !req
944. is just this logical structure.Copy !req
945. A place to momentarily house
all the abstractions.Copy !req
946. It was a time to become conscious...Copy !req
947. to give form and coherence
to the mystery.Copy !req
948. And I had been a part of that.
It was a gift.Copy !req
949. Life was raging all around me,
and every moment was magical.Copy !req
950. I loved all the people, dealing with
all the contradictory impulses.Copy !req
951. That's what I loved the most,
connecting with the people.Copy !req
952. Looking back, that's all
that really mattered.Copy !req
953. Kierkegaard's last words were,
« Sweep me up. »Copy !req
954. - Hey, man.
- Hey.Copy !req
955. Weren't you in the boat-car?
The guy with the hat gave me a ride...Copy !req
956. in his car-boat thing.
You were in the back seat.Copy !req
957. I'm not saying you don't know
what you're talking about...Copy !req
958. but I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
959. You guys let me off at this specific
spot you gave him directions to.Copy !req
960. I get out,
ended up getting hit by a car.Copy !req
961. Then I woke up. I was dreaming.Copy !req
962. Later I found out I was still
dreaming, dreaming that I'd woken up.Copy !req
963. False awakenings,
I used to have those a lot.Copy !req
964. But I'm still in it now.
I can't get out of it.Copy !req
965. It's been going on forever.
I keep waking up into another dream.Copy !req
966. I'm getting creeped out, like
I'm talking to dead people.Copy !req
967. This woman on TV tells me how death...Copy !req
968. is this dream-time
that exists out of life.Copy !req
969. I'm starting to think I'm dead.Copy !req
970. Let me tell you about a dream I had.Copy !req
971. When someone says that, usually
you're in for a very boring few minutes.Copy !req
972. But what else are you gonna do?Copy !req
973. - I read this essay by Philip K. Dick.
- In your dream?Copy !req
974. No, I read it before the dream.
It was the preamble.Copy !req
975. It was about that book,
Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said.Copy !req
976. - He won an award for that one.
- That's the one he wrote really fast.Copy !req
977. It just flowed out of him.
He felt he was channeling it.Copy !req
978. So four years later,
he was at this party.Copy !req
979. He met a woman with the same name
as the woman in the book.Copy !req
980. Her boyfriend had the same name
as the boyfriend in the book.Copy !req
981. She had an affair
with the chief of police.Copy !req
982. He had the same name
as the chief in his book.Copy !req
983. Everything she's saying
is right out of his book.Copy !req
984. That really freaks him out,
but what can he do?Copy !req
985. Shortly after that,
he was mailing a letter...Copy !req
986. and he saw this kind of
shady-looking guy standing by his car.Copy !req
987. But instead of avoiding him,
he said, « Can I help you? »Copy !req
988. The guy said, « I ran out of gas. »Copy !req
989. He hands him some money,
which he never would've done.Copy !req
990. He gets home and thinks:Copy !req
991. « This guy can't get to a gas station.
He's out of gas. »Copy !req
992. So he goes back, finds the guy
and takes him to a gas station.Copy !req
993. As he pulls up he thinks,
« This is in my book too.Copy !req
994. This exact station. This exact guy.
Everything. »Copy !req
995. So this whole episode
is kind of creepy, right?Copy !req
996. He's telling his priest
how he wrote this book...Copy !req
997. and four years later
all these things happened.Copy !req
998. And the priest says,
« That's the Book of Acts. »Copy !req
999. He's like, « I've never read it. »Copy !req
1000. So he reads the Book of Acts,
and it's uncanny.Copy !req
1001. Even the characters' names
are the same as in the Bible.Copy !req
1002. The Book of Acts
takes place in 50 A.D.Copy !req
1003. So Dick had this theory
that time was an illusion...Copy !req
1004. and that we were all in 50 A.D.Copy !req
1005. The reason he wrote this book
was that he somehow...Copy !req
1006. punctured through
this veil of time.Copy !req
1007. He'd seen what was going on
in the Book of Acts.Copy !req
1008. He was really into Gnosticism
and the idea that this demon...Copy !req
1009. created this illusion of time
to make us forget...Copy !req
1010. that Christ was to return
and the kingdom of God would arrive.Copy !req
1011. Someone's trying to make us forget
that God is imminent.Copy !req
1012. That's what time and history is.Copy !req
1013. This kind of continuous
daydream or distraction.Copy !req
1014. I read it and thought, « That's weird. »
And that night I had a dream.Copy !req
1015. There was this guy who
was supposed to be psychic.Copy !req
1016. But I was, like,
« He's not really a psychic. »Copy !req
1017. Then suddenly I start floating,
levitating up to the ceiling.Copy !req
1018. As I almost go through the roof,
I'm like, « Okay, I believe you. »Copy !req
1019. And I float down,
and as my feet touch the ground...Copy !req
1020. the psychic turns into a woman
in a green dress, Lady Gregory.Copy !req
1021. Lady Gregory was Yeats' patron,
this Irish person.Copy !req
1022. Though I'd never seen her image...Copy !req
1023. I was sure that this was
the face of Lady Gregory.Copy !req
1024. So Lady Gregory turns to me and says:Copy !req
1025. « Let me explain
the nature of the universe.Copy !req
1026. Philip K. Dick is right about time,
but wrong that it's 50 A.D.Copy !req
1027. Actually, there's only one instant,
right now. And it's eternity.Copy !req
1028. It's an instant in which God
is posing a question, which is:Copy !req
1029. 'Do you wanna be one with eternity,
do you wanna be in heaven?'Copy !req
1030. And we're all saying,
'No, thank you. Not just yet. "'Copy !req
1031. So time is just this constant
saying no to God's invitation.Copy !req
1032. That's what time is.
It's no more 50 A.D. than it's 2001.Copy !req
1033. There's just one instant,
and that's what we're always in.Copy !req
1034. Then she tells me that this is
the narrative of everyone's life.Copy !req
1035. Behind the huge difference,
there is but one story...Copy !req
1036. of moving from the no
to the yes.Copy !req
1037. All of life is,
« No, thank you. No, thank you. »Copy !req
1038. Then ultimately it's, « Yes, I give in.Copy !req
1039. Yes, I accept. Yes, I embrace. »
That's the journey.Copy !req
1040. Everyone gets to the yes
in the end, right?Copy !req
1041. Right.Copy !req
1042. So we continue walking,
and my dog runs over to me.Copy !req
1043. I'm so happy.
He's been dead for years.Copy !req
1044. So I'm petting him,
and there's this gross stuff...Copy !req
1045. coming out of his stomach.Copy !req
1046. I look over at Lady Gregory,
and she coughs.Copy !req
1047. She's like, « Excuse me. »Copy !req
1048. And vomit dribbles down her chin.
It smells really bad.Copy !req
1049. And I think,
« That's not just the smell of vomit.Copy !req
1050. That's the smell of dead-person vomit. »
So it's, like, doubly foul.Copy !req
1051. I realize I'm in the land of the dead.
Everyone around me was dead.Copy !req
1052. My dog had been dead 10 years,
Lady Gregory a lot longer.Copy !req
1053. When I woke up, I was like,
« That wasn't a dream.Copy !req
1054. That was a visitation
to this place, the land of the dead. »Copy !req
1055. So how did you finally get out of it?Copy !req
1056. It was, like, one of those
life-altering experiences.Copy !req
1057. I never looked at the world
the same way again.Copy !req
1058. But how did you finally
get out of the dream?Copy !req
1059. That's my problem. I'm trapped.Copy !req
1060. I keep thinking I'm waking up,
but I'm still in a dream.Copy !req
1061. I wanna wake up for real.
How do you really wake up?Copy !req
1062. I don't know.
I'm not very good at that anymore.Copy !req
1063. But if that's what you're thinking,
you should, if you can.Copy !req
1064. Because someday, you won't be able to.Copy !req
1065. But it's easy. You know, just wake up.Copy !req