Virgin Mountain (2015)

1. Hi.

2. - What have you got there? - A car.

3. - Is it for your son? - No.

4. - Your nephew? - No.

5. Who is it for then?

6. - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

7. I was speechless. How can she be so rude?

8. Some people just shouldn't be playing bridge.

9. Right.

10. At least not when there's alcohol involved.

11. True.

12. Bridge and booze simply don't mix.

13. You have to be able to handle it.

14. - I can handle it. - Of course you can.

15. Is Mordur in?

16. Dad, it's for you.

17. I'm coming.

18. Stop it, guys. Go finish your dinner.

19. Hi.

20. I'll be ready in a moment.

21. Why don't you go and get things ready.

22. I'm moving the M-10's out of the ambush

23. and firing at the Panthers.

24. Why don't you use the M-18's, the Hell Cats?

25. - Makes no difference. - They're faster, you know.

26. Yes, but I'm coming out of the forest.

27. What is it, Tumi?

28. Can I play too?

29. No, this isn't for kids. You know that.

30. But you promised.

31. Maybe some other time.

32. Are you serious?

33. Was he shagging your mother, just like that?

34. Yeah. On the kitchen table.

35. I had a similar experience when I was a kid.

36. Mom took us to the Canary Islands just after she split up with Dad.

37. She was a total party animal. Went to the disco

38. almost every night.

39. My brother and I were basically on our own the whole time.

40. One morning...

41. I woke up and there was this big dude hammering my mother.

42. My heart started thumping and I just wanted to die.

43. I still get this flash-back whenever I see her.

44. The memory is just tattooed on my soul

45. and I can't shake it off.

46. - You could try hypnosis. - What?

47. You could go to a hypnotist.

48. He just kind of enters your brain

49. and deletes all the bad memories.

50. - Yeah, right. - I've tried it.

51. And did it work?

52. No.

53. Exactly.

54. What are you bullshitting about?

55. What a moron.

56. You're a moron!

57. We simply need to get some space.

58. One has to trespass a battlefield just to go to the toilet.

59. It's impossible to develop a relationship this way.

60. Since when have you become interested in developing a relationship?

61. Come on, Fjóla. You're being cruel.

62. Try to put yourself in my shoes.

63. You're not supposed to touch that.

64. Don't get me wrong, Fúsi.

65. I'm all for honoring the memory of historic battles and all that

66. but I wonder if you should be dealing more with battles of daily life.

67. - Do you know what I mean? - Not sure.

68. What I meant to say is

69. that the internet is a magnificent thing.

70. You can practically just download the chicks.

71. You sure couldn't pull tricks like that in my heyday.

72. You just log onto a chat room, finding millions of lost souls

73. dying to chat and this often leads to something.

74. There are multiple cases of people finding their

75. soul mates online.

76. Sealing their vows, even.

77. But even if it doesn't lead you all the way to the altar,

78. it's a nice way to get a taste of life.

79. Have your cake and eat it too.

80. What's going on here?

81. We're just chatting... about war and peace.

82. Where were you when the war ended? Can you remember?

83. Heavens no.

84. But I clearly remember where I was when I heard the news

85. about the death of..

86. What's his name again?

87. - Kennedy? - What?

88. - Kennedy? - No, not him.

89. - John Lennon? - No, I'm talking about...

90. - Kurt. - Kurt?

91. Yes, Kurt Cowbrain.

92. I remember I was doing Svanas' hair

93. when you rushed in, Fúsi, pale as a sheet and said:

94. Kurt Cowbrain is dead. He shot himself in the head.

95. What a shock I got. I'll just never forget.

96. Hey, what's up with Fúsi's hair? Are we talking sex hair, or what?

97. - I doubt he's ever dipped his wick. - Gross!

98. He'd need to have one humongous boner

99. to penetrate through all that fat.

100. This is actually quite interesting.

101. Fúsi!

102. Give it back.

103. We were just wondering, how fatsos like yourself

104. go about fucking?

105. You're not a virgin, are you?

106. Come on, Elvar.

107. Where's the sense of humor?

108. What's up with him?

109. Welcome, Fúsi.

110. - Same as usual? - Yes, please.

111. - Is that Fúsi, the one and only? - Yes.

112. Fúsi, my man.

113. - What are you up to tonight? - You know, the usual.

114. You wild bastard. Are we talking some heavy duty shit

115. to stir things up a bit?

116. Yes, please.

117. Hit me, baby. Your wish is my command.

118. A special treat for you and your work mates.

119. - Happy birthday, Fúsi. - Thanks.

120. Open it.

121. There's more.

122. Read it.

123. What's this?

124. A gift certificate.

125. For a line dancing course.

126. It wouldn't hurt you to be a bit more outgoing, you know.

127. Meet other people.

128. It's scientifically proven that dance stimulates

129. endorphin production in your brain.

130. What's that?

131. Endorphin? It's the happy-enzyme, man!

132. Put it on.

133. Yeehah! Now we're talking.

134. Fúsi! Come here for a minute.

135. - Let's go to my office. - What?

136. Just a quick word. It's better to do it in private.

137. It has come to my attention that you are being bullied.

138. - Is it true? - No, I wouldn't say so.

139. - Are you sure? - Yes.

140. There must be some truth to it, since it's been brought up.

141. No.

142. Are you sure about that?

143. A little teasing, maybe.

144. But that's just normal between guys.

145. Nothing unusual.

146. - Hi. - Hi.

147. I locked myself out.

148. Where's your dad?

149. I don't know.

150. - Would you like some cake? - Yes, please.

151. - Is this Ken? - No, it's an Action-Man.

152. Do you have any Barbie dolls?

153. No.

154. - Don't you have any girls' toys? - No.

155. What's this?

156. It's a miniature model of the battlefield of El Alamein.

157. What's that?

158. It's a legendary World War II battle.

159. What's so special about it?

160. It was the first time that the Allies managed to beat the Nazis.

161. See there, up on the hill? That's Rommel, leading his men.

162. - What country is this in? - Egypt.

163. I see. I kind of recognized the houses.

164. It's great, isn't it?

165. Hera dear, you mustn't go about losing your keys like that.

166. Don't worry, we just had some cake and milk

167. - and hung out. - Milk? Did you have milk?

168. Yes.

169. But you know you're allergic.

170. Why did you have milk when you know you shouldn't?

171. - I just forgot. - Well, come along then.

172. - Bye. - Bye.

173. Let me do it. You're running late.

174. I already told you I don't want to go.

175. Don't be silly.

176. Polish your shoes while I adjust the button on your pants.

177. I don't want dancing lessons.

178. It won't kill you to give it a try.

179. At least try one lesson before you quit.

180. Then you'll at least know what you're quitting.

181. This has cost Rolf an arm and a leg.

182. The least you can do is to give it a try.

183. Why doesn't Rolf go, since he's so excited about it?

184. Why are you sending him off all spruced up like that?

185. He should wear jeans. It's line dancing, you know, cowboy stuff.

186. Do you think I'd have my boy wear cowboy pants?

187. Why not?

188. That's not a decent outfit for a boy's first dance class.

189. - Are you smoking in here? - No, no.

190. - Get out on the balcony, right now. - Will do.

191. Now let's get started, everyone.

192. Make sure you have plenty of space between you.

193. Snow blizzards are expected in the south

194. and around the west coast..

195. What's up, Fúsi boy? Driving around as usual?

196. Yeah.

197. I hear the weather is getting pretty nasty, is that right?

198. Yeah, it kind of looks like a storm, right now.

199. Well, they could drop an atom bomb and I wouldn't notice

200. all holed up in my little studio bunker.

201. But I was thinking of you earlier.

202. This morning I was browsing through the radio archives

203. and came across this gem

204. - I know this is right up your alley. - Really?

205. You bet. You'll love it.

206. - Thanks a lot. - Enjoy it, man.

207. Excuse me. Any chance of getting a lift?

208. I live close by, but this storm just freaks me out.

209. Sure.

210. Please say something, or I'll take you for some kind of a pervert

211. who lured me into his car to kill me.

212. Did you have fun at the dance class?

213. It was alright.

214. How do you know about my dance class?

215. Were you spying on me? Are you a pervert?

216. No, I just know because I was supposed to be there too.

217. Oh? Why didn't you come?

218. I didn't feel like it.

219. Why did you register then?

220. It was a present from Mom's boyfriend.

221. You should come and give it a try. It's not that bad.

222. A bit corny, but it won't kill you.

223. Come next week.

224. I'll take care of you, since you saved me from the storm.

225. I can tell that you're no pervert.

226. Thanks for the lift. See you next week then, ok?

227. Alright.

228. Thanks for not killing me.

229. You're welcome.

230. What "AT" have you got?

231. The Semovente's got 9.

232. What about armor?

233. Those are 3 and the Sherman's got 4.

234. I'll take the Sherman then.

235. So, how was the dance class?

236. - Fine. - What did they teach you?

237. To dance, of course.

238. I'm aware of that. But what steps?

239. - I don't know. - You don't know?

240. You did go to the class, didn't you?

241. Yes.

242. Then you must know what steps you learned.

243. We just did some, you know... One step forward, two steps back.

244. One step forward, two steps back?

245. I'm shooting three times so you'll have to get a five or a six.

246. Aren't you taking a shower, Fúsi?

247. Don't you ever shower?

248. - When was the last time you bathed? - Last century?

249. - We should give him a hand, guys. - Come shower.

250. Come on. We'll help you.

251. You need to bathe, Fúsi In you go.

252. You have to shower, man.

253. - Let's get him clean. - I've got him.

254. In you go, you bastard. Come on.

255. Pull him.

256. He needs a proper wash.

257. - Take him. - Look out.

258. Hi. Do you want to come play at my place?

259. - Don't you have any friends around here? - No, I'm new.

260. Why don't you just come in and play here?

261. But you only have boy stuff.

262. I want to play with my toys too, you know.

263. How come you're a grown-up, but you don't have a wife?

264. I don't know.

265. - Don't you even have a girlfriend? - No.

266. - Have you never had a girlfriend? - No

267. Is it because you're so shy?

268. I guess so.

269. But you're not weird, are you?

270. No, I don't think so.

271. My dad thinks you are.

272. He thinks I'm weird?

273. Yeah. Total weirdo.

274. But I don't think you're weird.

275. - It really is an upper class sport. - Indeed.

276. But you can always find a way to save up a bit. -That's true.

277. Have you ever tried making crème brulée?

278. No, what's that?

279. - It's a French dessert. - Oh.

280. - I tried making it the other day, - Yeah?

281. but apparently you need a blow torch to do it right.

282. A blow torch?

283. Yes. When it's out of the oven you put sugar on top

284. and burn it with a blow torch. It's delicious.

285. Do you know anyone who has a blow torch?

286. No. Don't you need a special license to operate those things?

287. No, I don't think so.

288. - Fúsi? - Yes.

289. - Do you have a blow torch at work? - Yes.

290. Do you think Svana could borrow it?

291. She's going to make some French dessert. -Sure.

292. Where are you going?

293. - Well, you know... - What?

294. Dance class.

295. But I thought you quit?

296. Well, I might as well give it a chance.

297. One, two, three, tap. One, two, three and turn.

298. To the side, close, side, tap

299. To the side, close, side and turn.

300. One, two, three, tap. One, two, three, tap.

301. Look.

302. You've got to move to the rhythm of the music.

303. You can't just choose your own beat.

304. Let the music control the rhythm of your movement.

305. From the top.

306. Ready! To the right, and turn.

307. One, two, three, tap. One, two, three, tap.

308. - Fancy doing something? - Sure. Why not?

309. Did you have something in mind?

310. Not really. I just don't feel like going home.

311. - Welcome. - Thanks.

312. - Please have a seat. - Thank you.

313. It's cozy.

314. - Here you go. - Thank you.

315. - The same as usual? - Yes, please.

316. Do you come here often?

317. Every Friday.

318. You mean like every week?

319. Yeah. Unless I'm on duty.

320. You must be an expert on the menu.

321. I always order the Pad Thai.

322. Always the same?

323. It's really good. I recommend it.

324. - A treat on the house. - Thank you.

325. You're welcome.

326. Would you like me to call in a special request for you?

327. Sure!

328. I know the guy. He always plays me a song.

329. Ok. Cool.

330. What's your favorite song?

331. "Islands in the stream".

332. Dolly Parton?

333. Yes. Do you have a problem with that? -No.

334. It can take a while to get through.

335. - Radio 2, good evening. - Good evening.

336. Well, hello there. If it isn't my friend Fúsi!

337. I was starting to think that you wouldn't check in tonight.

338. I just got held up.

339. What mischief were you up to, bad boy?

340. I went out for dinner.

341. - At Thai Style, I presume? - Yes.

342. You can't top that. What can I do for you tonight, maestro?

343. Well, I wanted to request a song.

344. What else is new? Let's go REAL heavy. Bring it on, man. Shoot.

345. It's "Islands in the stream".

346. - Dolly Parton? - Yeah.

347. - Are you fucking with my brain, Fúsi? - Actually, I'm not.

348. You've got to be kidding me.

349. What's gotten into the heavy metal dude?

350. - Well, actually it's not for me. - Oh?

351. It's for a girl.

352. That's my boy! Scoring chicks left, right and center?

353. No.

354. You know I'll do anything for you, Fúsi.

355. The song is ready to play.

356. Thank you.

357. And thanks for a good show.

358. I should thank you, maestro.

359. Would you like to come in for some tea?

360. I don't drink tea.

361. - Coffee? - No thanks, I'm good.

362. Well, it was worth a try.

363. Hi.

364. - Do you have milk? - What?

365. I wouldn't say no to a glass of milk, if you have some.

366. Where do you work?

367. - Ground service. - What?

368. Loading and unloading airplanes.

369. Wow. Do you get free tickets then?

370. Are you going to take me on a trip?

371. What?

372. Maybe you can just sneak me into the Duty Free.

373. To me the transit area is even more fun than going abroad.

374. It's like you've started a journey but everything has yet to happen.

375. I've never been abroad.

376. Really? I love traveling.

377. Hey, you've got...

378. Now Mom's going to freak out.

379. - What do you do? - Me?

380. Well, actually, I work in a flower shop.

381. Is that why you've got so many flowers?

382. Yes. I love flowers.

383. I'm impressed!

384. It's a shame that you're still single, dear.

385. - Well, that could be changing. - Really?

386. Mom!

387. Well someone came home quite late last night. I wonder why.

388. Mom!

389. Hey, Fúsi...

390. Listen. There's something wrong with my car.

391. Oh.

392. Some damn hiccup in the engine.

393. Could you maybe check it out for me?

394. I wanted to apologize for what happened the other day.

395. That shower prank was way out of line.

396. It was just supposed to be a practical joke

397. but it got way out of hand. I'd like to apologize. -Alright.

398. Listen. I'm throwing a party on Saturday and I'd like you to come.

399. We're going to start early

400. play paint ball, have some nice food and a few drinks.

401. You should come. We'll give you VIP treatment.

402. How does it sound now?

403. Fuck!

404. Like a purring pussy. You're a fucking genius, man.

405. Thanks.

406. - So see you on Saturday? - I'll think about it.

407. Come on. Be there!

408. And we don't need to mention the shower prank to the boss, do we?

409. No.

410. Oh boy. Sounds like you're entering a heavy duty dating phase.

411. No.

412. She just asked me in for a cup of tea.

413. Offering tea to a person of the opposite sex

414. can only mean one thing.

415. Everybody knows that. It's an international standard.

416. I sure don't envy you.

417. The dating phase

418. is the most nerve wracking hell a man can get himself into.

419. Inventing new surprises all the time,

420. constantly outsmarting yourself.

421. I get exhausted just thinking about it.

422. But I mean, there's no use giving up.

423. You've just got to roll up your sleeves

424. A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

425. Please.

426. I was thinking about a trip abroad.

427. Right. We mostly do charter deals, but we also offer city tours

428. ski trips, biking tours...

429. Maybe some place warm and sunny.

430. Sure.

431. Hello!

432. I'm in the back.

433. - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

434. I'm looking for Sjöfn.

435. So you're looking for Sjöfn? Well, she's not here.

436. Is she off today?

437. Well, maybe that's the best way of putting it.

438. Do you know when she'll be back?

439. She won't be back.

440. What are you doing here?

441. Well, I went to the flower shop and they told me that you...

442. Mind your own business.

443. Why don't you just go, Fúsi?

444. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you'd be so upset.

445. I don't care where you work.

446. It's not important to me.

447. - Egypt? - Yes.

448. You said you liked traveling so I..

449. You're unbelievable.

450. Why are you inviting me to Egypt?

451. Because...

452. I thought it would make you happy.

453. Of course it would make me happy.

454. But I'm just worried that there's a misunderstanding.

455. I think you're a wonderfully nice guy but that's all.

456. You know that, don't you?

457. Yes.

458. But still you want to invite me to Egypt?

459. That was the idea.

460. Did you book one or two rooms?

461. I'm not sure.

462. I'm pretty sure that I booked two rooms.

463. If not, I'll just change it.

464. I'm sorry, Fúsi. I didn't mean to...

465. Sorry.

466. - Fúsi. Drink up, man! - Cheers.

467. - Cheers. - Yes!

468. Hey guys! We have a guest.

469. Give her a warm welcome.

470. Hello.

471. Take a look at that, Fúsi

472. Some piece of meat!

473. Check her out.

474. No, thanks.

475. Hey, I've paid this beauty queen to break your seal.

476. No, thanks.

477. - Go fuck her. - No, thanks.

478. You're my guest, and I've spent a fortune for you to fuck that pussy.

479. Where's the gratitude?

480. I'll get going.

481. You're not going fucking anywhere..

482. Take him to the room.

483. Hey! Hold him down.

484. Shit. Fúsi!

485. Cool it, man.

486. Fúsi.

487. Fúsi, dear. You'll be late for work.

488. I'm not going.

489. - Are you ill? - Yeah.

490. - Do you want me to call you in sick? - Yeah.

491. - Hi. - Hi.

492. Would you like to play?

493. No, not now.

494. - Why not? - Because.

495. - Where are you going? - For a ride.

496. Can I come too?

497. Sure.

498. Look at that.

499. Look, it's nice, isn't it?

500. I want to go back home?

501. Where did you take her, you fucking pervert?

502. We just went for a short drive.

503. A drive? Are you completely out of your mind?

504. - Are you a fucking idiot? - Now calm down.

505. Don't you come anywhere near my daughter again.

506. I'm sorry.

507. - You'd better come with us. - What for?

508. We just need to get a clearer picture of what happened.

509. - But I didn't do anything. - We'll see.

510. Mind your head.

511. Sometimes she drops by and wants me to play with her.

512. So, I've let her in and...

513. - And played with her? - Yes.

514. And... what kind of games do you play?

515. What kind?

516. What I'm trying to figure out is whether these games

517. might include indecent behavior

518. or something that could be regarded as improper interaction

519. between an adult and a child.

520. Usually, she wants to play moms and dads,

521. but that's not really my thing.

522. So I've been suggesting games

523. that are closer to my personal interests.

524. What interests are you referring to?

525. Mostly World War II.

526. I see. So you've been playing war games?

527. Yes.

528. And some moms and dads as well.

529. Alright everyone, let's get started.

530. Find yourselves a good spot on the floor.

531. Try to make sure you have enough space between you.

532. You too, Fúsi. Find a good spot.

533. We'll start with a simple routine.

534. Follow my lead. Ready and...

535. Fúsi! Follow the ladies in front of you.

536. Hey, look!

537. - Can I try it? - Sure.

538. - Aron, come on in, dear. - Why?

539. - Because I want you to come in now. - But why? I'm playing.

540. - Just do as you're told. - Damn!

541. Don't open the door.

542. - Are you alright? - Leave me alone.

543. How did you get in?

544. I smashed a window.

545. Just go, Fúsi. Leave me alone.

546. Go.

547. What's up? Have you been down with a flu?

548. No. Or yes. I mean no.

549. I wanted to check if I could get some time off.

550. I see.

551. - For how long? - I'm not really sure.

552. You know you can tell me if something is bothering you.

553. - I know. - And it's nothing like that?

554. No. It's just for personal reasons.

555. It's hard for me to say no.

556. You've already earned a lot of unused vacation.

557. You've hardly taken a day off since you started.

558. Sjöfn.

559. You have to eat something.

560. Sjöfn.

561. Can't you come out for a minute?

562. I made you some fried fish.

563. Won't you at least have some?

564. I've totally fucked up.

565. I haven't shown up for work. Not even called in.

566. They've probably fired me already.

567. The basic rule here is that people hold on to their jobs

568. as long as they show up.

569. If I had to verify every alibi, I'd never get out of the office.

570. But she's been suffering from an illness. Depression.

571. Depression is just self-pity mixed with laziness.

572. A really trendy cocktail at the moment.

573. Maybe I could take on her shifts?

574. Until she's back on her feet.

575. Well, it's not quite that simple. People can't just wander

576. in from the street and start collecting garbage.

577. If an employee gets ill, we deal with it internally.

578. But if this is really what you want, then it's fine by me.

579. Can I sign up for her shifts then?

580. I've no idea. I'm just the supervisor.

581. You'd need to talk to the guys at the office.

582. Sjöfn.

583. Sjöfn.

584. I'd like to show you something.

585. Everything will be just fine.

586. Hey, new guy! What's your name again?

587. Fúsi.

588. What?

589. Fúsi.

590. Foozy!

591. We're going to watch a game after work.

592. Fulham-Aston Villa. Will you join us?

593. There you go, Fúsi.

594. Great game.

595. Mom!

596. Mom!

597. Hi Mom. Are you ill?

598. Rolf has left.

599. He broke up with me.

600. Oh.

601. Opportunistic son of a bitch.

602. He was never serious about us.

603. Look at you.

604. You smell like a garbage can.

605. I'm taking shifts for Sjöfn at the moment.

606. Don't you deserve better than to chase after a depressed garbage lady?

607. - Mom! - What was that tone?

608. What?

609. - Don't you talk to me in that tone. - What tone?

610. The tone you used just now.

611. I wasn't using a tone.

612. Yes you were. And it was a nasty tone.

613. You're becoming a real chef.

614. I guess she doesn't cook much.

615. Is she good at anything?

616. You're not getting serious with her, are you?

617. You're not leaving me?

618. We're just friends, Mom.

619. You startled me. Hi.

620. What do you think?

621. Isn't it great?

622. Yes.

623. A bit further. We're almost there.

624. Stop!

625. It's here.

626. That shed over there?

627. That's not a shed.

628. Don't you remember the candy store that used to be here?

629. Wouldn't this be the perfect spot for a flower shop?

630. At least the location is great.

631. Of course it has to be fixed up a little.

632. Aren't you a handyman dude?

633. Well, at least one can daydream. That's free of charge.

634. Fúsi, this is for you.

635. A small farewell present.

636. When will you be going to Egypt?

637. At Easter.

638. But I've actually given up on the idea.

639. Oh? Did you get a refund?

640. I haven't really checked yet.

641. Shouldn't we just go?

642. Together?

643. I thought you didn't like the idea.

644. But I do.

645. I was thinking...

646. would you like to move in with me?

647. Do you think it's a bad idea?

648. No, not at all.

649. I think it's a very good idea...

650. when the right time comes.

651. What do you mean by "when the right time comes"?

652. Well, there's also Mom to think about.

653. I was fifteen when I left home.

654. I don't know what freak relationship you have with your mother.

655. But if you can't leave home in your mid-forties

656. then there's something seriously wrong.

657. Sjöfn, I'm sorry.

658. I'm sorry but this came quite unexpected.

659. I am ready now.

660. - Hi. - Hi.

661. Is Hera in?

662. No, she's at her mother's.

663. I'm moving out and I just wanted to give her this stuff.

664. I see.

665. - Do you want me to take it for her? - Sure.

666. - Say hi to her. - I will.

667. - Bye. - Goodbye.

668. Listen...

669. I'd like to apologize for my behavior the other day.

670. This has been a rough period and...

671. No worries.

672. But thanks for the stuff.

673. Fúsi!

674. What?

675. Come here a sec.

676. I'm not ready.

677. What do you mean?

678. I can't go through with this.

679. What?

680. I made a mistake.

681. - What do you want me to do? - I don't know.

682. Do you want me to take my stuff back?

683. I'm sorry.

684. I'm sorry.