1. I love this place.Copy !req
2. Yeah, me too.
- So strange, though.Copy !req
3. - Why is it called a river?
That's, uh, what it is.Copy !req
4. Thank you.
It's dried up, you know.Copy !req
5. I actually used to come here
a lot when I was a kid.Copy !req
6. - Yeah?
Yeah.Copy !req
7. - I used to ride my bike.
- It's our new spot.Copy !req
8. What? You're gonna steal my childhood memories?Copy !req
9. No. We'll just make new ones.Copy !req
10. Promise?
- Promise.Copy !req
11. - Give me that thing.
- Up-bup-bup!Copy !req
12. My camera, my show.Copy !req
13. Besides,
you're prettier than I am.Copy !req
14. No fair.Copy !req
15. - Don't show my face.
- Shut up.Copy !req
16. Don't show my face.
Alright, give me that.Copy !req
17. No.
- I'm serious, little missy.Copy !req
18. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
- Don't cry.Copy !req
19. God!Copy !req
20. I love it when you record me.Copy !req
21. No, really, I do.Copy !req
22. It means that you love me.Copy !req
23. What colour nail polish is that?Copy !req
24. Since when do you care about...?Copy !req
25. Goddammit, Kev.
You know when to turn that thing off!Copy !req
26. Shit.Copy !req
27. Get out here now.Copy !req
28. Thought I told you not to leaveCopy !req
29. your girlfriend's damn bike
in the damn driveway!Copy !req
30. - Little slut!
- Slut?Copy !req
31. It's what it is.Copy !req
32. But it's right up
or it's out of commission.Copy !req
33. Kevin.Copy !req
34. Why are you so fascinated
with this thing, hmm?Copy !req
35. Don't keep me
at arm's length, Kev.Copy !req
36. I'm much more fun in the flesh.Copy !req
37. And that's all you get.Copy !req
38. Let go!
.. and get a job!Copy !req
39. Fuck you, Grandma!Copy !req
40. - What the fuck?
Oh, God!Copy !req
41. Breaking news at 10:30Copy !req
42. near downtown Los Angeles,
a police pursuit.Copy !req
43. - You see that van there...
Kev!Copy !req
44. Holy shit. That's...
Kev.Copy !req
45. - That's down the block.
- Aren't you gonna talk about it?Copy !req
46. Yeah, let's talk about how awesome this fucking chase is!Copy !req
47. Look at this!Copy !req
48. Look. It's just down the street.Copy !req
49. Kev, put that thing down
and face what's going on.Copy !req
50. What's going on?Copy !req
51. It's a crazy-ass chase,
headed right for us.Copy !req
52. What do you think's
gonna happen?Copy !req
53. You think that shit's
gonna go viral?Copy !req
54. You're gonna become famous?Copy !req
55. I got... I have to go shoot this.Copy !req
56. It's sick, Kev.
Put that thing down.Copy !req
57. Come on, babe, this... This is my chance.Copy !req
58. Haven't you ever wanted to be a part
of something bigger than you?Copy !req
59. Holy shit! Oh, my God.
It's here, it's here, it's here.Copy !req
60. You made me miss it. Fuck!Copy !req
61. Fuck, fuck!
Kev!Copy !req
62. Oh, my God, it's here.
Come back!Copy !req
63. Shit, shit, shit! It's right here!Copy !req
64. Jesus Christ, Grandma!Copy !req
65. - You little pervert!
Move! Move! Shit.Copy !req
66. You're gonna make me
fucking miss it. Shit, shit.Copy !req
67. Fuck! Fuck! I missed it.Copy !req
68. Get back inside!Copy !req
69. It's not safe out here.
Are you filming me?Copy !req
70. I'm on my property, man.
I'm on my own property right now.Copy !req
71. Seriously!Copy !req
72. Starting to see quite a few pedestrians now...Copy !req
73. in the age
of Twitter and YouTube,Copy !req
74. people can track this sort of thing
and try to get in on the action,Copy !req
75. get their special shots
of the driver or the action.Copy !req
76. This guy is travelling at
such a high rate of speedCopy !req
77. through these
residential neighbourhoods.Copy !req
78. Definitely don't wanna be out
there making yourself a target.Copy !req
79. Thank you, honey. You made me miss it.Copy !req
80. Iris, what the hell?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
81. Get back inside!
What the hell?Copy !req
82. I'll tase your ass if you don't
get inside right now, goddamn.Copy !req
83. Iris, get out of the street.Copy !req
84. I told you to get off the street
and turn that thing off!Copy !req
85. Holy shit! Oh, my God! Iri... Iris!Copy !req
86. Just come in and have a seat.Copy !req
87. I'm Detective Hughes.Copy !req
88. I'm gonna have to record
this conversation, OK?Copy !req
89. - OK.
- Tell me your full name.Copy !req
90. My name is Scarlett Kay.Copy !req
91. And what is your occupation, Miss Kay?Copy !req
92. I'm a magician's assistant
for Dante the Great.Copy !req
93. The tape that you brought in to us,Copy !req
94. where did you find that tape?Copy !req
95. In his dressing-room,
there's a secret compartmentCopy !req
96. behind the breaker box.Copy !req
97. Dante recorded everything.Copy !req
98. He always needed an audience.Copy !req
99. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
100. Thank you so much for coming out
to the show tonight.Copy !req
101. The magician known as Dante the GreatCopy !req
102. was arrested today.Copy !req
103. So just two years ago,
Dante the Great was John McMullen,Copy !req
104. and he was living
in a trailer park in AtlantaCopy !req
105. barely making ends meet,
couldn't pay the rent.Copy !req
106. He would do tricks for his friends
in the neighbourhood,Copy !req
107. and he was real good at it.Copy !req
108. Cut the cards.
Alright. Alright.Copy !req
109. Yeah, that's the blue...
- Pretend like you didn't see.Copy !req
110. Figured out the trick!Copy !req
111. Why don't you make some beer appear? Be useful.Copy !req
112. You suck, bro.Copy !req
113. You guys are real funny for a bunch of
unemployed motherfuckers.Copy !req
114. Dante came in possession
of a cloak.Copy !req
115. Nobody's really sure
where he got the cloak.Copy !req
116. So the rumours are that Harry Houdini himselfCopy !req
117. once owned this cloak.Copy !req
118. And it frightened Houdini,
so he got rid of it.Copy !req
119. Whoo!
Whoo!Copy !req
120. Well, there's no doubt that the cloak
changed Dante's life forever.Copy !req
121. His shows were completely exclusive.Copy !req
122. Passwords, knocking on doors.Copy !req
123. You gotta know somebody
to even get a ticket.Copy !req
124. That was the most amazing show
I've ever seen.Copy !req
125. He picked my pocket.Copy !req
126. From mid-balcony,
he picked my pocket, from the stage.Copy !req
127. I don't know how he did it.Copy !req
128. We went into the show
at 7 o'clock in New York.Copy !req
129. - We walk out of the doors...
- We're in L.A.Copy !req
130. We're in L.A. I...Copy !req
131. I'm kind of fucking pissed,
but I'm kind of like,Copy !req
132. this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.Copy !req
133. His illusions were...
on a different level than anyone else.Copy !req
134. Today's magic is dead.Copy !req
135. You wanna learn a trick,
go Google it, go find it.Copy !req
136. It's on Wikipedia.
You will NEVER discover how I do it.Copy !req
137. Hewwo, wabbit.Copy !req
138. Whoa!Copy !req
139. Sa!Copy !req
140. Argh!Copy !req
141. Firefighters arrived on the sceneCopy !req
142. to see heavy flames
on the east side.Copy !req
143. Not a lot of wind this afternoon,Copy !req
144. so they're hoping to keep this
contained to one structure.Copy !req
145. No word of any injuries or anyone inside.Copy !req
146. We have an audience tonight,
so why aren't you working?Copy !req
147. - What?Copy !req
148. What do you want from me?Copy !req
149. Please.Copy !req
150. The cloak's power comes from what's inside it.Copy !req
151. But he had to feed it,
and it was only hungry for one thing.Copy !req
152. Dante. Oh, my God.
Turn that off. It's not funny.Copy !req
153. Can you hand me a towel?Copy !req
154. Seriously?Copy !req
155. There were some people that went missingCopy !req
156. that were close to Dante.Copy !req
157. Some of his assistants.
No bodies, no evidence.Copy !req
158. Just gone.Copy !req
159. Tell me what was your first impressionCopy !req
160. of Dante when you met him.Copy !req
161. The first time I met him,
I was auditioning for one of his shows,Copy !req
162. and I was...
really nervous he was my idol.Copy !req
163. Oh, my God!Copy !req
164. Scarlett.
She's different.Copy !req
165. I just knew it was her,
and we were meant to work together,Copy !req
166. meant to be great together.Copy !req
167. So you always wanted to be a magician's assistant?Copy !req
168. No, I want to be a magician.Copy !req
169. I wanted to work with himCopy !req
170. because I thought I would get to learn
how to do the tricks and the illusions,Copy !req
171. but no-one on the crew
knew how he did anything.Copy !req
172. It was frustrating,
to say the least.Copy !req
173. Let's take five, guys.Copy !req
174. I know that this can all be
very confusing to begin with.Copy !req
175. It can take
a lifetime of practice.Copy !req
176. And you're...
you're brand-new.Copy !req
177. Let's say you and I
just put all this work asideCopy !req
178. and tonight,
you have dinner with me.Copy !req
179. What do you say?
Hmm?Copy !req
180. - No, I have... I have a thing.
- Cancel it.Copy !req
181. He's picking me up in an hour.Copy !req
182. Oh.Copy !req
183. Clay is my ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
184. When's the last time you heard from Clay, Miss Kay?Copy !req
185. A month.Copy !req
186. How was your relationship with Clay?Copy !req
187. Clay... Clay had a temper,
but... it was OK.Copy !req
188. We were OK.Copy !req
189. You weren't just an employee of Dante, right'?Copy !req
190. I mean, you guys had
some kind of relationship?Copy !req
191. We became really close, working together.Copy !req
192. How'd you do that?Copy !req
193. I'll show you.Copy !req
194. We're going to film this one, alright?
That was close.Copy !req
195. - We're gonna try it again.
- OK. Alright.Copy !req
196. Now, on the count.Copy !req
197. One...Copy !req
198. Hey!
Look at that!Copy !req
199. Perfect sleight of hand.Copy !req
200. He was my friend.Copy !req
201. Just friends?Copy !req
202. He was more than just my friend.Copy !req
203. The tapes that Scarlett brought in indicatedCopy !req
204. several violent murdersCopy !req
205. that incriminated Dante
in the disappearanceCopy !req
206. of at least...
two of the magician assistantsCopy !req
207. and her ex-boyfriend,
Clay Bowland.Copy !req
208. Were you aware that Dante
was going to confront Clay?Copy !req
209. No.Copy !req
210. Sit!Copy !req
211. What a dick.Copy !req
212. I'm sorry.Copy !req
213. My shows are something
that will reveal,Copy !req
214. from the darkness, great light.Copy !req
215. You will come through doorways
that you didn't even know were there,Copy !req
216. see something unbelievable.Copy !req
217. But you have to believe it because
it's right there in front of your eyes.Copy !req
218. - They're recording here.
- Get down!Copy !req
219. - Alright, alright.
- These guys with you?Copy !req
220. No! No! No!Copy !req
221. I guess that, uh, concludes our interview.Copy !req
222. I'm gonna need
your badge number.Copy !req
223. You have the right to remain silent.Copy !req
224. The cloak, when he has it on, he's different.Copy !req
225. I can assure you, it's nothing magical,Copy !req
226. nothing supernatural, it's just...
a sociopath.Copy !req
227. Hold onto your tickets.
It's gonna be a big finale.Copy !req
228. What I need right now from you is the truth.Copy !req
229. I can't have any more stories about magic.Copy !req
230. I'm telling you the truth.Copy !req
231. I know now that what he does, they're not illusions.Copy !req
232. There. Over there.Copy !req
233. It's...
Magic.Copy !req
234. There's no such thing as magic.Copy !req
235. What is the first rule?Copy !req
236. You never tell the rubes
how the trick is done.Copy !req
237. - I saw what you did.
- What do I do with you now?Copy !req
238. I know you murdered those women!Copy !req
239. It wasn't me.Copy !req
240. Not you?Copy !req
241. What is it?
What is that thing?Copy !req
242. Real magic.Copy !req
243. Get down on the ground! Get down!Copy !req
244. Gentlemen.Copy !req
245. Welcome...
To the show.Copy !req
246. No!Copy !req
247. Nothing up my sleeve!Copy !req
248. Suspect down.Copy !req
249. What the hell?Copy !req
250. Ta-da!Copy !req
251. What are you doing?Copy !req
252. Scarlett, stop.
Give that to me.Copy !req
253. No!Copy !req
254. Give me the cloak!Copy !req
255. Argh!Copy !req
256. Scarlett!Copy !req
257. Give it to me!Copy !req
258. You made me do this!Copy !req
259. Dante, please.Copy !req
260. Dante?Copy !req
261. I'm so sorry, my dear.Copy !req
262. I'm sorry, my dear.Copy !req
263. Scarlett, no!
Wait! No!Copy !req
264. So where's Dante now?Copy !req
265. That's a great question.Copy !req
266. I know our entire department
is looking for him.Copy !req
267. We have gotten assistance
from the FBI.Copy !req
268. It's only a matter of time.Copy !req
269. I like to think that he's...
Somewhere...Copy !req
270. planning his comeback.Copy !req
271. We talked. We talked...
A few months back.Copy !req
272. He missed me.Copy !req
273. He said he's coming for a visit.Copy !req
274. He'll... he'll come.
He's coming.Copy !req
275. He always does.Copy !req
276. He comes home.Copy !req
277. Where did the cloak end up?Copy !req
278. Nobody knows for sure.Copy !req
279. .. down through this interchange againCopy !req
280. with the LAPD right behind it,
we'll see which way he...Copy !req
281. Iris, pick up
your fucking phone.Copy !req
282. - Kevin. Come here, please.
- Iris. Baby.Copy !req
283. Please come, Kev!
I don't know what they're gonna do.Copy !req
284. - Please.
- Baby. Don't hang up.Copy !req
285. Fuck!Copy !req
286. What the fuck?Copy !req
287. Hey, what you doing? You're gonna miss it.Copy !req
288. Miss what?Copy !req
289. Can you see it?Copy !req
290. They're coming this way.Copy !req
291. Oh, man.Copy !req
292. See it on YouTube, bitches.Copy !req
293. Oh!Copy !req
294. Dude!Copy !req
295. Holy shit!Copy !req
296. Look, there's
another one.Copy !req
297. Look, there's another guy.Copy !req
298. Stop!Copy !req
299. Stop!Copy !req
300. Gotta help me!Copy !req
301. They're coming back on the 110 freeway.Copy !req
302. He's really...
picking up some speed.Copy !req
303. Stop!Copy !req
304. You little prick! You're slowing us down!Copy !req
305. I don't give a fuck
about your guys' video.Copy !req
306. - That thing took my girlfriend.
- Will you fuck off already?Copy !req
307. Dude, you don't understand.
It's coming back around.Copy !req
308. - Yeah, no shit.
- No, you're not listening to me.Copy !req
309. It's going in circles
on purpose.Copy !req
310. - Why?Copy !req
311. Oh, shit!Copy !req
312. No! Oh, my God!Copy !req
313. Fuck! It's got me!Copy !req
314. Take my arm!Copy !req
315. Grab him!
I can't get to him!Copy !req
316. Grab him!Copy !req
317. (SCREAMS) Oh, my God! Oh, God!Copy !req
318. Look at me, dude! Grab my hand!Copy !req
319. Shhh!Copy !req
320. (MOANING) Oh, yeah!Copy !req
321. No, no.Copy !req
322. Marta.Copy !req
323. Marta, Marta.Copy !req
324. Argh!Copy !req
325. Reports now that there might actually beCopy !req
326. a hostage situation,
so LAPD is going in a surveillance mode.Copy !req
327. Stupid girls bike.Copy !req
328. Fuck. Oh, shit,
it's turning around again.Copy !req
329. Fuck, this can't be happening.Copy !req
330. How much fucking hot dog does he want? Go over there.Copy !req
331. Fuck the hot dogs.Copy !req
332. No, papi.
Don't make fun of your brother.Copy !req
333. What's he gonna do about it, huh?Copy !req
334. One more strike,
he's back in for five to ten.Copy !req
335. Give me a burger before I give you
some matching eye shadow.Copy !req
336. This thing has my girlfriend. Please help me.Copy !req
337. Fuck!Copy !req
338. You have the cojones
to turn me in?Copy !req
339. I got your cojones right here!Copy !req
340. Who the fuck is that motherfucker, eh?Copy !req
341. Lucy, where did you get the camera?Copy !req
342. Daddy. He has a trunk full of 'em.Copy !req
343. Get rid of it!Copy !req
344. You'd bring that
to my uncle's house?Copy !req
345. Do something, Uncle Alberto!Copy !req
346. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Iris. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
347. You touch her, I'll kill you!Copy !req
348. Erase that.Copy !req
349. Help!Copy !req
350. .. chased by... Oh!Copy !req
351. Oh, my God. A huge... explosion...
right below...Copy !req
352. Pussy!Copy !req
353. Don't make it. Don't make it.
Trip, trip, trip, fall, fall.Copy !req
354. Don't make it. Don't make it.
Fuck it.Copy !req
355. - Whoo!
Son of a fucktard!Copy !req
356. - Why are we shooting?
- Did you get that?Copy !req
357. Uh... no. Oh, that was the one?Copy !req
358. Oh, no. Dude, I wasn't rolling.
Yeah, we gotta go again.Copy !req
359. Did you get it?
- What the fuck, man?Copy !req
360. Your Craigslist ad said you could
operate that shitty-ass camera.Copy !req
361. You said your skating didn't suck dick.Copy !req
362. You guys are not allowed to be up here.Copy !req
363. - Go back to your house.
- Hey, you got that shit!Copy !req
364. Hey, you've got that shit.Copy !req
365. Fuck. Argh!Copy !req
366. Oh-ho!
Oh, that was so trill!Copy !req
367. Oh... just the focus, it was bad.
So, one more.Copy !req
368. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
369. Three, two, one, action.Copy !req
370. We all good?Copy !req
371. All clear, big dog.Copy !req
372. Jesus!Copy !req
373. - Did you get that?
- Sorry, dude.Copy !req
374. The battery just, like, fell out.Copy !req
375. - We gotta go again.
- What are we paying you for man?Copy !req
376. If you fucked up my car,
I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
377. Dude, fuck you.Copy !req
378. Get back in your car.Copy !req
379. Merry Christmas, dicks.
Put 'em on.Copy !req
380. - Oh, fuck that.
- Those are stupid.Copy !req
381. Jump into it,
and then do a Shamu dive.Copy !req
382. And I'm gonna
get a shot with this.Copy !req
383. Whoa!Copy !req
384. When you gonna help me out
with a ride?Copy !req
385. I got a nice vagina
just waiting for you.Copy !req
386. - Yeah, right.
- I got the vag on deck all day.Copy !req
387. Do it, little homie.Copy !req
388. Dude!Copy !req
389. Oh, man. Are you OK, dude? My bad.Copy !req
390. Semper Fi, cockbag click hole!Copy !req
391. Oooh-rah!Copy !req
392. I'm just ah, directing a Web series
right now about abused... dolphins,Copy !req
393. and then I freelance
as a bartender.Copy !req
394. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
I'm coming.Copy !req
395. Keep fighting, keep fighting.
Keep punching.Copy !req
396. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!Copy !req
397. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!Copy !req
398. Can't believe we got kicked out
for that shit, dude.Copy !req
399. - I woulda shot those dudes.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
400. If it was life or death,
you would have left me chillin'.Copy !req
401. - You would have bailed.
- Not even.Copy !req
402. Excuse me.
Do you have a dollar?Copy !req
403. Nah. Take this, though, dude.
I bit the end, but...Copy !req
404. I spent all my money on this
fucking filmer guy over here.Copy !req
405. I got a stogy left
if you want it.Copy !req
406. You need a light?
Oh, yeah. No problem.Copy !req
407. - Fight the hobo! Bum fight!
- Dude, dude, are you serious?Copy !req
408. I go to sleep fucked up, not knowing
I peed in a bottle right next to me.Copy !req
409. I wake up in the morning, like,
fuck, I need water, you know.Copy !req
410. Bro, I grabbed the bottle
and just gulp, gulp, and then...Copy !req
411. But it still tasted
like beer, though.Copy !req
412. There's this one time I went
and saw this old '80s hardcore band.Copy !req
413. People were front-flipping and shit.Copy !req
414. - All of a sudden, I look over...
- Front-flipping?Copy !req
415. - People were front-flipping?
- Front-flipping into the crowd.Copy !req
416. See, I told you,
people can front-flip.Copy !req
417. Dude, shut the fuck...Copy !req
418. I look over and my homeboy's,
like, throwing kids,Copy !req
419. like, just throwing 'em
into the wall and shit.Copy !req
420. Little kids?
Throwing little kids into the wall?Copy !req
421. No. No, dude.
They're, like, 20. Boom!Copy !req
422. The fat guy's homie,
or should I say...Copy !req
423. Was he bleeding?Copy !req
424. I'm gonna fucking pistol-whip
the shit out of you if you...Copy !req
425. Yo, don't touch my shit.Copy !req
426. Dude, we need a new fucking
spot to finish this video.Copy !req
427. My cousin told me about
this ditch in Tijuana.Copy !req
428. He said it's always empty,
totally secret.Copy !req
429. - You got gas money?
- I'm not paying.Copy !req
430. Hey, hey! Sam!
Hey, Sam!Copy !req
431. - Dude, it's Shaun.
- Whatever the fuck. Come here.Copy !req
432. When are we gonna finish
my skate video?Copy !req
433. It's done.
Hey, do you still have your dad's credit card?Copy !req
434. Dude, we cannot go to TJ.Copy !req
435. You know that fool
Carlos in third period?Copy !req
436. The cartel stuffed his
uncle in a barrel of acid.Copy !req
437. Dude, let's go.Copy !req
438. You can go and fuck up
the filming some more.Copy !req
439. Tijuana is fine now.
The drug dealers all left.Copy !req
440. They got...
they got firecrackers,Copy !req
441. they got weed,
they don't card for alcohol.Copy !req
442. Yeah, get a bunch. Get the big ones, the big ones.Copy !req
443. - Test 'em.
They only have three.Copy !req
444. Make sure they're not a dud.
Test 'em.Copy !req
445. Nah, we'll...
- There you go. There you go.Copy !req
446. Thanks for the ride.
This is a very serious piece of equipment.Copy !req
447. - You have sex, keep it on.
- Alright, cool. I will.Copy !req
448. This kid throws $20 for gas
and he gets the fucking titty cam?Copy !req
449. No, that goes for both of you.Copy !req
450. If you have sex,
keep your cameras on.Copy !req
451. Oh, damn!Copy !req
452. You want a swig of this?Copy !req
453. Tell your sister to go home.Copy !req
454. She's got syphil-herp.Copy !req
455. But the fact is, 'Faces of Death' and 'Jackass',Copy !req
456. they sell more than every
skateboard video combined.Copy !req
457. Yo, dude, you know...Copy !req
458. You know where the fuck we are?Copy !req
459. I do not!
I have been lost for hours.Copy !req
460. Seriously?Copy !req
461. These cum-bags are boring.Copy !req
462. Is that a fucking earthquake?Copy !req
463. I just survived a Mexican earthquake.Copy !req
464. Hey, how often do you guys clean your skateboard wheels?Copy !req
465. This wasn't what I was thinking of,
but you can skate this, yeah?Copy !req
466. Yeah, but it smells like your mom.Copy !req
467. Do you all know how to climb fences?Copy !req
468. Jason, did you turn on your camera?Copy !req
469. Turn on these whack-ass titty cams.Copy !req
470. - Hey guys, turn on your cameras!
- Shut up.Copy !req
471. Turn on your camera.Copy !req
472. It's been...
Fuck off.Copy !req
473. Pour some for the homies, Gas Money.Copy !req
474. Whoa!Copy !req
475. Hey, guys...
Ooh.Copy !req
476. Hey, dickhead, you think a skinned kittenCopy !req
477. would still get views?Copy !req
478. Oh, got a missed call.Copy !req
479. You gonna start filming or what?Copy !req
480. Remember that one time
you did a shitty kick-flipCopy !req
481. and got more views than porn?Copy !req
482. There's a bunch of dog shit
in the middle of it. Uh-huh.Copy !req
483. Dude, this place is weird.Copy !req
484. I ain't going back, though.
We just walked three hours.Copy !req
485. Something funky worth showing people.Copy !req
486. No-one wants
to see you guysCopy !req
487. go backward and forward
for four fucking hours.Copy !req
488. - Wait. Go on the barrel.
- The barrel?Copy !req
489. - Go on top and do a front flip.
- A front flip?Copy !req
490. Don't come off that barrel
until you do a front flip.Copy !req
491. This goes out to your momma.Copy !req
492. You be in the front right there.Copy !req
493. That was the shittiest front flip...Copy !req
494. That fucking camera guy is weird, dude.Copy !req
495. I know, and he's got this
weird-ass look on his faceCopy !req
496. like he wants to touch me.Copy !req
497. And Gas Money Kid
just sits there and stares.Copy !req
498. Huh-huh...Copy !req
499. Want to be immortal, or do you want
to be a giant vagina monster?Copy !req
500. I will front-kick
your asshole.Copy !req
501. Some chick, she was
all fucked up at the park.Copy !req
502. You know the bleachers,
how there's, like, gaps between?Copy !req
503. She fell between 'em, like,
the top one. Like, "Boom, boom!"Copy !req
504. - Terrible.
- Yeah, real fucking sad.Copy !req
505. Don't blow off your dick hand.Copy !req
506. At least your mom
got two dick hands!Copy !req
507. Oh, fuck!
Fuck!Copy !req
508. - Dude, dude, is that bleeding?
- Arggh!Copy !req
509. What the fuck?Copy !req
510. Hot as my balls.Copy !req
511. What the fuck?Copy !req
512. Dude.Copy !req
513. Where did she come from?Copy !req
514. Is she a ninja?
Are you a ninja?Copy !req
515. Dude, your sister
followed us here.Copy !req
516. - What's wrong with her?
- Hey, I'm just kidding.Copy !req
517. Hey. My name's Taylor. But...Copy !req
518. No, seriously, though,
I'm a director.Copy !req
519. Want me to throw you in some movies?
We could do that.Copy !req
520. Hey, video guy,
your dad's a good singer.Copy !req
521. Dude, let's bounce.Copy !req
522. Oh, shit! What the fuck?Copy !req
523. - Oh, what the fuck, dude'?
- Shit! Shit! Shit!Copy !req
524. Hey, I'm gonna shoot one
of these motherfuckers, dog.Copy !req
525. Oh, shit.Copy !req
526. Get that fool, Gas Money, dog!Copy !req
527. Get the fuck off him!Copy !req
528. Come on, Gas Money. Crack him!Copy !req
529. Get off that kid!Copy !req
530. - Do what you gotta do, man!
- What am I doing, man?Copy !req
531. - Where are you going?
- I don't know, man.Copy !req
532. Dude, back up.Copy !req
533. Dude, don't... Get...
Huh!Copy !req
534. Oh, my fucking God.Copy !req
535. - Do crackheads have fire blood?
Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
536. I'll go to the Mexican hospital.
I don't give a fuck.Copy !req
537. Shit. There's more.
But they go down easy!Copy !req
538. - They're falling apart!
- They got a disease.Copy !req
539. - Dude, use your gun.
- What the fuck?Copy !req
540. I only got one more bullet, dog!Copy !req
541. Arggh!Copy !req
542. - Hah!
- Ohh!Copy !req
543. Where the fuck is Gas Money Kid going?Copy !req
544. Hey...Copy !req
545. Oh, shit! Hey, dog.
I think they killed Gas Money Kid.Copy !req
546. Don't talk.
Just fight!Copy !req
547. Find a weapon, find a weapon,
find a weapon.Copy !req
548. Deck-check that fool!Copy !req
549. Bitch!Copy !req
550. Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!Copy !req
551. Little fucking bitch!
Bitch!Copy !req
552. He's dead, motherfucker! Help me!Copy !req
553. There's more of them!Copy !req
554. Dude, they're everywhere!Copy !req
555. What are you doing?Copy !req
556. Oh, what the fuck?Copy !req
557. Help, dog!
Help!Copy !req
558. What the...Copy !req
559. What's up, motherfucker'?
Arggh!Copy !req
560. Fuck.Copy !req
561. Oh, fuck that!
Va'monos!Copy !req
562. Ohh!Copy !req
563. 13, motherfucker!Copy !req
564. - Fuck, man, you all good?
- You were kind of crazy.Copy !req
565. Hey, we killed a lot of fools.
Killed a lot of fools.Copy !req
566. Let's get the fuck
out of here, psycho.Copy !req
567. Motherfucker, they killed
Gas Money Kid and Camera Guy, man!Copy !req
568. What the fuck you supposed to...Copy !req
569. - Oh, shit.Copy !req
570. Run!Copy !req
571. Go under, dog.
Go under!Copy !req
572. - Hold 'em off for me, dog!
- Help me, you fucking psycho!Copy !req
573. What are you doing?Copy !req
574. Huh!Copy !req
575. Just give me a second, fool.Copy !req
576. Oh!Copy !req
577. Arggh!
Arggh!Copy !req
578. Run! Get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
579. Run!
Arggh!Copy !req
580. HAAAAAAAAAAAH!Copy !req
581. Come on, motherfucker! Let's go!Copy !req
582. We're not dead, motherfucker!
Don't stop till the border!Copy !req
583. Hey, dog, I'm still rolling!Copy !req
584. Me too!
Let's go!Copy !req
585. Do you feel as bad as I do about
Gas Money Kid and Camera Guy?Copy !req
586. Yeah. Come on, dude!Copy !req
587. Hey, hold up, hold up!
Something's slowing me down.Copy !req
588. Dude, are you fucking serious?
Dude go!Copy !req
589. Police are warning it's a very dangerous situationCopy !req
590. they are struggling
to stay ahead of.Copy !req
591. There are now reports of 11 fires
burning out of control across the city.Copy !req
592. People should absolutely
be staying inside.Copy !req
593. Do not...Copy !req
594. Stop the fucking car!
Please stop!Copy !req
595. Trust me, baby, I have...Copy !req
596. - What the fuck?Copy !req
597. I need your help!
I need your help!Copy !req
598. You fuck!
Get out of the car!Copy !req
599. You keep going. Don't worry about that.Copy !req
600. What are you doing?Copy !req
601. Keep going. We could edit that out.Copy !req
602. Alright.
And just ignore the guy driving.Copy !req
603. Just forget...
Don't even think about him.Copy !req
604. Trust me, baby,
I'm a pro at this.Copy !req
605. Yeah, right there.
Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.Copy !req
606. That's it. Take it slow, slow.
Slow gets 'em.Copy !req
607. Slow is what sucks 'em in.Copy !req
608. Aren't you gonna join me?Copy !req
609. I only like to watch, baby.Copy !req
610. Make sure you're in focus.Copy !req
611. Yeah. They know they can't touch you,
and it gets 'em even more.Copy !req
612. - That's it, slow.
- You don't recognise me, do you?Copy !req
613. I do this eight days a week, baby.Copy !req
614. I might have seen...
I don't know.Copy !req
615. I don't know why,
but I don't know how to...Copy !req
616. Now do you recognise me?Copy !req
617. - What?
- What the f...Copy !req
618. - Turn around, you...
- Sorry!Copy !req
619. - Fuck with my rhythm!
- Sorry.Copy !req
620. One more.
OK. Now keep going. Keep going.Copy !req
621. We could edit that out.Copy !req
622. That's it.
Don't worry about anything.Copy !req
623. We're in our own little sanctuary.Copy !req
624. Yes, yes. Drowned in slow.Copy !req
625. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're good.Copy !req
626. You're very...
I knew you were hot.Copy !req
627. - Yeah? You like...
- Don't... don't talk.Copy !req
628. It's better if you don't talk.Copy !req
629. - Just show me.
- OK.Copy !req
630. That's it. Very good.
Nice and slow.Copy !req
631. That's it, touch yourself.
Rub it. Attagirl. Yeah.Copy !req
632. - Camera. Now!
- What the fuck?Copy !req
633. (WHIMPERS) Don't shoot my face! Don't shoot my face!Copy !req
634. Who cares about
your face, asshole?Copy !req
635. Let's see that pretty body of yours.Copy !req
636. - Go ahead, strip.
- Fuck you, bitch!Copy !req
637. Do it.
Do it now.Copy !req
638. How does it feel, huh?Copy !req
639. Wow.
You're the whole package.Copy !req
640. I can't wait to introduce you to my mom.Copy !req
641. Fuck this shit.
Hundred bucks or no hundred bucks!Copy !req
642. Keep driving.Copy !req
643. Maybe I'll make your retarded friend
strip next, huh?Copy !req
644. A little threesome?
What a turn-on you are, yeah.Copy !req
645. - So good, baby.
- Wait a second. I know you.Copy !req
646. Yeah. Millions of guys do,
thanks to your website.Copy !req
647. It was your ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
648. You shouldn't have
dumped him, lady.Copy !req
649. I didn't film you.
All I did was buy the footage for my blog!Copy !req
650. I got a blog.
It's called nutlesswonders.com.Copy !req
651. Oh, don't!
Please, don't!Copy !req
652. Lesson learned!
Loud and fucking clear, man!Copy !req
653. - I'll take it down. I promise!
- My tits made you money.Copy !req
654. So now I'm here for my cut.
Here's the good part.Copy !req
655. I bet people will pay to watch
me shoot your dick off.Copy !req
656. Want to see whose video gets more hits?Copy !req
657. Let's make a hole in you
and show the world.Copy !req
658. Oh, yeah, bitch?Copy !req
659. Come on, let's see that star now,
get this thing to turn out like I told you.Copy !req
660. You want to do it now, bitch?
Stick it out or I'll fucking turn it purple.Copy !req
661. Yeah, who's got you now, you smart-ass?Copy !req
662. - Hey, you want a cut?Copy !req
663. Something's going on.Copy !req
664. This is absolutely insane.
Are you sending out...Copy !req
665. Help me! Kevin!Copy !req
666. Kevin.Copy !req
667. Why are you so fascinated with this thing?Copy !req
668. Don't keep me at arm's length, Kev.Copy !req
669. I'm serious, little missy.
Mm-hm.Copy !req
670. You mess with the bull...
Don't cry.Copy !req
671. Yeah? It's our new spot.Copy !req
672. What? You're gonna steal my childhood memories?Copy !req
673. No. We'll just make new ones.Copy !req
674. Promise?
Promise.Copy !req
675. Iris?Copy !req
676. - Kev?
- Iris?Copy !req
677. You're filming it, aren't you?Copy !req
678. That's so good, baby.
That means we'll be a part of it.Copy !req
679. A part of what?Copy !req
680. We're gonna finish it.Copy !req
681. What are you talking about?Copy !req
682. I think you know.Copy !req
683. Oh, my God.Copy !req
684. It's been filming us the whole time.Copy !req
685. What the fuck?Copy !req
686. You're sick, Kev.Copy !req
687. - We're all sick.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
688. What did I do?
Oh, my God.Copy !req
689. What the fuck?Copy !req
690. Iris, where are you?
Iris, tell me you're OK.Copy !req
691. Just start the upload.Copy !req
692. I ca...
I can't.Copy !req
693. Haven't you ever wanted to be
a part of something bigger than you?Copy !req
694. You don't know what's happening out there.Copy !req
695. These videos, they...
they fuck people up.Copy !req
696. Do it.Copy !req
697. Do it.Copy !req
698. I... I can't.
I can't do it.Copy !req
699. - Do it.Copy !req
700. I can't.
I can't do it.Copy !req
701. Haven't you ever wanted to be
a part of something bigger than you?Copy !req
702. You don't understand
what's happening.Copy !req
703. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
704. - Do it!Copy !req
705. Fuck, fuck! Stop!
Wait, wait, OK.Copy !req
706. Stop, stop.
I'll do it.Copy !req
707. Fuck.Copy !req
708. Gonna go viral. This shit's gonna go viral.Copy !req
709. This shit's gonna go viral.
This shit's gonna go viral.Copy !req
710. - This shit's gonna go viral.
- Oh, fuck. What did I do?Copy !req
711. What the fuck?
What have I done? No.Copy !req
712. - This shit's gonna go viral.
- What is going...Copy !req
713. This shit's gonna go viral.Copy !req
714. - Jesus Christ! Stop, stop!Copy !req
715. - Stop it!
- Gonna go viral!Copy !req
716. This shit's gonna go viral!
This shit's gonna go viral!Copy !req
717. Gonna go viral!Copy !req