1. Got up, took a shower.Copy !req
2. Poured myself a coffee.Copy !req
3. I kept telling myself, you know,
"I'll wake her up after I do thisCopy !req
4. or, uh, this little step."Copy !req
5. Now, that's not true,
really.Copy !req
6. I knew I was going to delay
waking her up for as long as possible.Copy !req
7. What was it you really wanted?Copy !req
8. I wanted her,
same as always,Copy !req
9. I wanted her
to disappear.Copy !req
10. I wanted her to be
the hell out of there.Copy !req
11. And she got
the hell out of there.Copy !req
12. She took the hint.
She woke up,Copy !req
13. you were fully dressed,
ready to go to work.Copy !req
14. More or less, yeah,
she took the hint.Copy !req
15. And yet
just the night before,Copy !req
16. you wanted her
very badly, hmm?Copy !req
17. Yeah.Copy !req
18. I know.
Really badly.Copy !req
19. Now I'm feeling very mellowCopy !req
20. Walkin' down the streetCopy !req
21. You see,
I'm gonna see my babyCopy !req
22. And it makes me
feel moodyCopy !req
23. Like this...Copy !req
24. When you go
to see your babyCopy !req
25. He can make you feel
moodyCopy !req
26. He can make you feel high,
feel lowCopy !req
27. Feelin', feelin', feelin'Copy !req
28. Like thisCopy !req
29. MoodyCopy !req
30. YeahCopy !req
31. Moody...Copy !req
32. - He can stretch himself...Copy !req
33. He can stretch himself from here
to Ethiopia if he wanted to.Copy !req
34. - We said him already.
- No, no, no. The rubber man.Copy !req
35. He's the last of the Fantastic Four
we've been searching for all these days.Copy !req
36. - The missing link. Yes?
- No, we already said him.Copy !req
37. - Oh, look, there's a taxi. Taxi!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
38. We are not in need
of coach service, my lady.Copy !req
39. This is my kingdom,
and my palaceCopy !req
40. - is but two blocks from here.
- Come on. Come on.Copy !req
41. - Be off!
- God damn you, fuckin' mime.Copy !req
42. - Cocksuckers!
- Together: Be off!Copy !req
43. Cab driver:
Cocksuckers! Fuck you!Copy !req
44. The fireball.Copy !req
45. I'm the one that's made
of big brown stones.Copy !req
46. - Brown stone man.
- No, that's not his name.Copy !req
47. - It's lighter browns.Copy !req
48. God,
the telephone company.Copy !req
49. How can I take home a girl
who works for the telephone company?Copy !req
50. Go on, go home.Copy !req
51. I'm the director of personnel.Copy !req
52. She hires those incompetents.
Oh, no.Copy !req
53. What do you do,
Mr. Wise Guy?Copy !req
54. Literature.Copy !req
55. - A bit of chess?
- Yeah, baby.Copy !req
56. - Excellent. Wait.
- Checkmate.Copy !req
57. Does that mean you win?Copy !req
58. What the fuck is that?Copy !req
59. All right, now,
just relax.Copy !req
60. Oh, right...Copy !req
61. - This shit...
- Shoo! Shoo!Copy !req
62. - Shoo?
- Shoo!Copy !req
63. This poor—
never mind.Copy !req
64. Did you get it out?Copy !req
65. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
66. If I'd known
you had a fucking roommate...Copy !req
67. - Wait.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
68. My God.Copy !req
69. Taxi!Copy !req
70. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
71. Alva.
Alva!Copy !req
72. Yes, Mr. Loew?Copy !req
73. All right, uh,
Frank HeathertonCopy !req
74. wants a copy
of the first contract he hadCopy !req
75. for the sale of his short story...Copy !req
76. uh, "Rattlesnake Hills."Copy !req
77. "Der Spiegel".Copy !req
78. Seems that the first
foreign sale he's ever hadCopy !req
79. and suddenly he wants
to frame the agreement.Copy !req
80. Now, the story was sold
in 1963,Copy !req
81. and I know that's a long time
before either I was hereCopy !req
82. or you were here.Copy !req
83. But there is no reason
why the agencyCopy !req
84. shouldn't have
a copy of it.Copy !req
85. I already looked in the files
under "Heatherton,"Copy !req
86. I looked under
"Rattlesnake Hills,"Copy !req
87. but I am asking youCopy !req
88. to go through the entire
"Der Spiegel" file,Copy !req
89. because that is a very fat file
and nothing is in orderCopy !req
90. and it will take hours,
but it will be there...Copy !req
91. somewhere.Copy !req
92. Please find it
and bring it to me.Copy !req
93. Yes, Mr. Loew.Copy !req
94. Woman on intercom: Peter?Copy !req
95. Joel Reznick on O-2.Copy !req
96. Mr. Loew?Copy !req
97. Mr. Loew?
Are— are you there?Copy !req
98. Starting with your earliest years
when you...Copy !req
99. somehow were taught to expectCopy !req
100. something that wasn't even
halfway attainable.Copy !req
101. Peter?Copy !req
102. Well, I guess my time's up.Copy !req
103. No, no, no,
we have a couple more minutes.Copy !req
104. You know, uh, lately...Copy !req
105. you have always been telling me
when our time is up.Copy !req
106. And I just wonder if maybe—Copy !req
107. does it make you feel
a little insecure when I say...Copy !req
108. - Well, what?Copy !req
109. Nothing.
Nothing, it's, uh— I was remembering.Copy !req
110. I brought this girl
up to my place the other night.Copy !req
111. Really hot, you know?Copy !req
112. And we're on the bed.Copy !req
113. Suddenly, this bat
comes swooping down out of nowhere.Copy !req
114. - A bat?
- Holy shit.Copy !req
115. But this— this really happened,
but the part—Copy !req
116. this part I don't know if this
really happened or I dreamt it laterCopy !req
117. or what. I mean,
I'm fighting this bat off all aloneCopy !req
118. and I'll be damned
if I didn't get...Copy !req
119. really turned on.Copy !req
120. - You were aroused?
- Yeah.Copy !req
121. But you said just a few seconds before,
you were in the throes of passion.Copy !req
122. - Yeah, I know.
- So then you were aroused.Copy !req
123. - With the girl?
- Yes, with the girl.Copy !req
124. Oh, sure.
Yes. Absolutely,Copy !req
125. but then she left the room and I was...Copy !req
126. I mean— I came down.
You know?Copy !req
127. I was in mortal combat
with a fucking bat.Copy !req
128. - Give me a break.
- Wait.Copy !req
129. You were fighting off the batCopy !req
130. and that's when
you had this new feeling?Copy !req
131. Then, yes.
That is the precise order of events.Copy !req
132. And on that note...Copy !req
133. Oh, oh, yes.
I'll, uh, see you on Tuesday.Copy !req
134. Buh-bye.Copy !req
135. Alva.Copy !req
136. I didn't see,
did you find that Heatherton contract?Copy !req
137. I checked the back files under
Heatherton and "Rattlesnake Hills"Copy !req
138. like you said,
but, uh, I couldn't find it.Copy !req
139. I— I guess I'm gonna have
to look under the "Der Spiegel" files.Copy !req
140. Alva, I told you
that I already checked those files.Copy !req
141. - I already checked them.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
142. I must have, uh, misunderstood.Copy !req
143. I'm gonna get right to it.Copy !req
144. I don't know, maybe.Copy !req
145. It is inconceivable to me
that you like that play.Copy !req
146. Inconceivable?
Jesus Christ!Copy !req
147. - Oh, well...
- My name's Gary, what's yours?Copy !req
148. No, no, I don't save the same amount
I put in the other account.Copy !req
149. Now say I put $2,000 in the IRA.Copy !req
150. Now that doesn't mean I'm gonna save
$2,000 at income tax time.Copy !req
151. It's more like $700.
Right, Peter?Copy !req
152. Yeah, plus, I get interest
on the $2,000 in the other account.Copy !req
153. - Who would be interested?
- Uh...Copy !req
154. - ... raise high the roof beam.Copy !req
155. - Did you get that joke?
- No.Copy !req
156. I love your earrings.Copy !req
157. Thank you.Copy !req
158. I'm Peter Loew.Copy !req
159. Rachel.Copy !req
160. Oh, Rachel.Copy !req
161. God!Copy !req
162. Shit!Copy !req
163. Shit!Copy !req
164. God!Copy !req
165. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
166. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
167. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
168. Who are you?Copy !req
169. It's all right.Copy !req
170. It's all right.Copy !req
171. You chose me.Copy !req
172. What a glorious Sunday.Copy !req
173. How nice not to
have to go in to work.Copy !req
174. No comments
on my coffee, please.Copy !req
175. If you don't like it,
I'll send out.Copy !req
176. I do it all the time.Copy !req
177. Well, do you like it?Copy !req
178. I gotta take a piss.Copy !req
179. Peter's voice:
Hello, you have reached Peter.Copy !req
180. I am not in at the moment,Copy !req
181. but if you leave your name,
your number and a brief message,Copy !req
182. I'll get back to you
just as soon as I can.Copy !req
183. - Thank you.Copy !req
184. Woman on answering machine:
Yeah? Well, you can forgetCopy !req
185. about getting back to this girl.
You son of a bitch!Copy !req
186. You don't just walk out
on somebody like that, you bastard!Copy !req
187. Don't you ever call me again.Copy !req
188. You fuck!
Fuck you!Copy !req
189. Yeah, well,
fuck you, too, sister.Copy !req
190. So how was your weekend?Copy !req
191. It was all right,
you know?Copy !req
192. It was nothing earth-shattering.Copy !req
193. Did you hurt yourself?Copy !req
194. - Just cut myself shaving.
- Oh.Copy !req
195. Well, Peter,Copy !req
196. why don't we begin
where we left off last week?Copy !req
197. You started to tell me
about this strange feeling you hadCopy !req
198. when this bat flew through
the window of your apartment.Copy !req
199. Huh?Copy !req
200. The feeling of exultation
that you experienced.Copy !req
201. You made it sound
as though it were...Copy !req
202. something more than sexual.Copy !req
203. I don't...Copy !req
204. really know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
205. I don't remember.Copy !req
206. Well, you were very sure
about it last weekend.Copy !req
207. - It made a strong impression.
- Oh, yes. Okay, I know.Copy !req
208. Uh,
I guess I was pretty horny.Copy !req
209. Pretty keyed up from being
with the girl right before.Copy !req
210. I was drunk, too.Copy !req
211. That was it.Copy !req
212. I'd had a little to drink.Copy !req
213. I was a little drunk.Copy !req
214. Plus, I was horny.Copy !req
215. And have you seen this girl again?Copy !req
216. No.Copy !req
217. - Woman on intercom: Peter,Copy !req
218. Frank Heatherton on O-3.Copy !req
219. All right, and, Judy,
send Alva in here right now.Copy !req
220. Yes, Mr. Loew?Copy !req
221. All right, Alva,
that's Frank Heatherton on the phone.Copy !req
222. For me.
Now I'm sure he's calling aboutCopy !req
223. the "Der Spiegel" contract,
which he still hasn't gotten a copy of.Copy !req
224. How do I know he
hasn't gotten a copy of it?Copy !req
225. Because I haven't sent it to him.Copy !req
226. Why haven't I sent it to him?
Because you haven't found itCopy !req
227. and brought it to me
and now it's fucking TuesdayCopy !req
228. and I still don't
see it here on my desk.Copy !req
229. I don't see it here,
do you?Copy !req
230. Huh, Alva?
No!Copy !req
231. Well, I'm going through the files,
Mr. Loew,Copy !req
232. but I have a million other things to do.Copy !req
233. Now, I want you to be hereCopy !req
234. and listen to the song and dance
that I have to do.Copy !req
235. That I have to do
because you haven't done your job.Copy !req
236. Ready?Copy !req
237. - Yeah, hi, Frank, how are ya?Copy !req
238. Hello, Peter.
I'm just fine, thanks.Copy !req
239. Listen, I won't hold ya.
I just wanted to sayCopy !req
240. about that letter I sent,
you know, requesting the copyCopy !req
241. of "Rattlesnake Hills" sale
to "Der Spiegel"?Copy !req
242. There's absolutely no rush on that.
I know it's an old contract.Copy !req
243. It's gonna take some diggin'
and I'm sureCopy !req
244. you and your girls
got better things to do, huh?Copy !req
245. Anyway, look,Copy !req
246. I'm in the middle of movin',
so take your time.Copy !req
247. I'll give you a call
when I'm all settled in. Okay?Copy !req
248. - Yeah, okay, Frank.
- So, how's things with you?Copy !req
249. - Life treatin' you well?
- Yeah, Frank.Copy !req
250. Ah, good.
Take care, old buddy.Copy !req
251. - All right, bye-bye, Frank.
- Yeah, bye.Copy !req
252. Well.Copy !req
253. Seems I didn't have to do
a song and dance after all, Alva.Copy !req
254. As you could hear,
I couldn't get a word in edgewise.Copy !req
255. Mr. Heatherton is boiling mad,Copy !req
256. and he has implied that if he
doesn't get that copy within the week,Copy !req
257. he will terminate his agreement
with our agencyCopy !req
258. and sign up with a more efficient one.Copy !req
259. Am I getting through to you,
Alva?Copy !req
260. I'll go right to it,
Mr. Loew.Copy !req
261. Judy, I'll be out
for the rest of the day.Copy !req
262. Hey,
do I get waited on today, or what?Copy !req
263. - I've been sitting here for 15 minutes.
- Right away, sir. Right away.Copy !req
264. And then he took me on
one of those horse and carriage rides.Copy !req
265. - You're kidding.
- And in the middle of itCopy !req
266. - he asked me...
- He asked you what?Copy !req
267. - ... to marry him!
- Oh!Copy !req
268. Fucking greasehole!Copy !req
269. Are you all right, sir?Copy !req
270. Sure? Are you?Copy !req
271. - Hello.
- Dr. Glaser?Copy !req
272. You have reached the office
of Dr. Dorothy Glaser.Copy !req
273. Please leave your name—Copy !req
274. - Hello?
- Jackie?Copy !req
275. Yeah?Copy !req
276. Jackie, don't hang up, please.
This is Peter.Copy !req
277. I want to explain about the other day.
There was a reason.Copy !req
278. I had a very good reason
for doing what I did.Copy !req
279. - I—Copy !req
280. look, you know
I'm very fond of you.Copy !req
281. I didn't mean to hurt you.Copy !req
282. It was—Copy !req
283. it was some illness.Copy !req
284. Listen, I feel funny
talking on the phone about this.Copy !req
285. - Better be a hell of a good reason.
- Let's meet. Can you?Copy !req
286. Tonight?
You wanna get together tonight?Copy !req
287. Meet somewhere?Copy !req
288. - Well, I can't for a couple of hours.
- Fine. Fine.Copy !req
289. Uh, let's just say 9:00,
Mondo Cane.Copy !req
290. All right, 9:00.Copy !req
291. Great, great.
Okay, I'll see you then. Bye-bye.Copy !req
292. Who's there?Copy !req
293. Who is it?Copy !req
294. He is wondering,Copy !req
295. "How did she get in here?"Copy !req
296. And he is realizingCopy !req
297. that he let her in,
as she is his lover.Copy !req
298. His most passionate mistress.Copy !req
299. And he is realizingCopy !req
300. that she is a jealous mistress.Copy !req
301. Yes.Copy !req
302. Alva.Copy !req
303. Alva?Copy !req
304. Alva.Copy !req
305. Alva!Copy !req
306. Alva!Copy !req
307. Alva!Copy !req
308. Alva!Copy !req
309. - Alva!Copy !req
310. Alva!Copy !req
311. There you are!Copy !req
312. I'm looking for it,
Mr. Loew!Copy !req
313. - I'm looking!Copy !req
314. What the hell is he doing
in here?Copy !req
315. I have a gun.Copy !req
316. If you hurt me,
I'm gonna use it.Copy !req
317. - What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
318. I don't know, I mean,
I'm doing all I can.Copy !req
319. Maybe the contract
was lost.Copy !req
320. Don't come near me!Copy !req
321. I'm telling
Mr. Langdon about this.Copy !req
322. And I swear I'm gonna use my gun
if you ever touch me.Copy !req
323. - Just once.
- No, no, Alva. I'm— I'm sorry.Copy !req
324. I didn't mean—
I'm— I'm sorry.Copy !req
325. You all right, honey?Copy !req
326. - Yeah.Copy !req
327. Nothing like a little office trauma
to keep things interesting.Copy !req
328. The chase was my favorite part.Copy !req
329. - Pete hurdling over those desks.Copy !req
330. Well, you weren't there
for the grand finale.Copy !req
331. She asked me for a raise.
Can you believe it?Copy !req
332. She actually does keep a gun
in that little bag of hers.Copy !req
333. - Man: Get outta here.
- Man #2: No, really.Copy !req
334. Well, she takes the subway into Pelham
every night. I don't blame the kid.Copy !req
335. She asked me for a raise for
getting chased into the ladies' room.Copy !req
336. I think she deserves it, Sidney, you can
take it out of Attila's paycheck.Copy !req
337. Fuck you!Copy !req
338. One question, Peter.Copy !req
339. Was my name written anywhere
on the bathroom wallCopy !req
340. and, uh,
what did it say?Copy !req
341. Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me...Copy !req
342. sounds of the rude worldCopy !req
343. - Heard in the day...Copy !req
344. - What is happening to me?Copy !req
345. by the moonlightCopy !req
346. Have all passed awayCopy !req
347. Beautiful dreamerCopy !req
348. - Queen of my heartCopy !req
349. List while I woo theeCopy !req
350. With soft melodyCopy !req
351. Gone are the cares of...Copy !req
352. I...Copy !req
353. had a...Copy !req
354. difficult day yesterday.Copy !req
355. Got a little upset...Copy !req
356. at the office.Copy !req
357. Do you want to talk about it?Copy !req
358. Well, it's just there's this...Copy !req
359. contract we're trying to locate.Copy !req
360. Shouldn't—Copy !req
361. if a company—Copy !req
362. if a literary agency...Copy !req
363. makes a copy
of every contract...Copy !req
364. of every single contract
it makes with a client...Copy !req
365. and then puts it in a file,Copy !req
366. in the appropriate file...Copy !req
367. shouldn't the copy...Copy !req
368. be in that file?Copy !req
369. - Yes, I suppose it should.
- It should, right?Copy !req
370. - Yes.
- Right?Copy !req
371. Hmm...Copy !req
372. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
yep, yep, yep.Copy !req
373. Unless, of course,
it's somehow been misfiled.Copy !req
374. - Misfiled?
- Yes, misfiled.Copy !req
375. Sometimes somebody
puts a document in the wrong fileCopy !req
376. and then it's misfiled.
It makes it much harder to find.Copy !req
377. Who? Who?
What do you mean? Who?Copy !req
378. - I don't know who exactly.
- You don't?Copy !req
379. No, I don't.Copy !req
380. Whoever filed it
in the first place, but—Copy !req
381. for God sakes, Peter,
I am not telling you one single thingCopy !req
382. - you don't already know.
- How could somebody misfile something?Copy !req
383. What could be easier?
It's all alphabetical.Copy !req
384. - We—
- You just put it in the right file.Copy !req
385. According to alphabetical order.Copy !req
386. You know,
A, B, C, D, E, F, G...Copy !req
387. - Peter.
- ... H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...Copy !req
388. - Peter!
- ... Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z!Copy !req
389. Huh?
That's all you have to do.Copy !req
390. Very good.
You know your alphabet.Copy !req
391. I never misfiled anything!Copy !req
392. Not once!
Not one time!Copy !req
393. I'm sure that you didn't.Copy !req
394. I wanna know, really.
Who did?Copy !req
395. I cannot possibly tell you that.Copy !req
396. - You can't?
- No, I can't.Copy !req
397. Ha!Copy !req
398. And you call yourself
a psychiatrist?Copy !req
399. It's kind of bright in here,
isn't it?Copy !req
400. He is so eccentric.Copy !req
401. Yes, Mr. Loew?Copy !req
402. Uh, actually,
she's just leaving, Mr. Loew.Copy !req
403. Sure. Alva?
Mr. Loew would like to see you.Copy !req
404. Come in, Alva.Copy !req
405. I hope you're not still angry
at me about the other day, Alva.Copy !req
406. I apologized,
and I honestly meant it.Copy !req
407. - Pistachio?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
408. Yeah, that mescaline.
Wow.Copy !req
409. That's strange stuff.Copy !req
410. Whoo,
I'll never do that again, jeez.Copy !req
411. - Yeah, I know. I did it once.
- Did you? Did you?Copy !req
412. Yeah,
just once in high school.Copy !req
413. Ah.Copy !req
414. High school.
Yes, yes.Copy !req
415. Those were the days,
eh, Alva?Copy !req
416. Yeah.Copy !req
417. So... why, uh,
why do you have your coat on?Copy !req
418. Well, I'm leaving. It's 5:00.Copy !req
419. Hmm,Copy !req
420. but, you know, Alva, you still haven't
found that contract yet, have you?Copy !req
421. Mr. Loew, there's 15
"Der Spiegel" files.Copy !req
422. It's all I do all day.
I mean, I—Copy !req
423. But you haven't found it yet,
Alva.Copy !req
424. Now, don't you think it would be
a good idea to stay late?Copy !req
425. - Maybe work a little overtime?
- My eyes are killing me.Copy !req
426. Aw.Copy !req
427. Well, I was—
I was also thinking todayCopy !req
428. that, maybe, you could put
somebody else on the job for a while.Copy !req
429. Or another secretary
to help me out?Copy !req
430. I mean, you know,
to make the job easier.Copy !req
431. Alva,Copy !req
432. there is no one else
in this entire officeCopy !req
433. that I could possibly ask
to share such a horrible job.Copy !req
434. You're the lowest
on the totem pole here, Alva.Copy !req
435. The lowest.
Do you realize that?Copy !req
436. Every other secretary who's been here
has been here longer than you, Alva.Copy !req
437. Every one.Copy !req
438. And even if there was someone here
who was here just one dayCopy !req
439. longer than you,
I still wouldn't ask that personCopy !req
440. to partake in such a miserable job
as long as you were around.Copy !req
441. That's right, Alva.Copy !req
442. It's a horrible, horrible job.Copy !req
443. Sifting through old contract
after old contract.Copy !req
444. I couldn't think of a more
horrible job if I wanted to.Copy !req
445. And you have to do it.
You have to.Copy !req
446. Or I'll fire you.
Do you understand?Copy !req
447. Do you?Copy !req
448. Yes.Copy !req
449. Good.Copy !req
450. Then there's no problem, then.Copy !req
451. Is there?Copy !req
452. Don't you wanna use your gun,
Alva?Copy !req
453. Hey.Copy !req
454. Here you go.Copy !req
455. Hey, man.
You forgot your food.Copy !req
456. - I hate interrupted love affairs.Copy !req
457. Don't you?
How much nicer when the outside worldCopy !req
458. doesn't interfere with the pleasure.Copy !req
459. You were so right to put yourself
into my hands, Peter.Copy !req
460. The only one who can put you
out of your misery.Copy !req
461. Tell me how much
you love me, my angel.Copy !req
462. - Whisper it to me.Copy !req
463. Just once.Copy !req
464. Please.Copy !req
465. - Just once. Oh, just once.Copy !req
466. I know you do.
I can read your mind, my love.Copy !req
467. I can see it in your actions.Copy !req
468. You can't get through the day
without thinking about me, can you?Copy !req
469. Tell me you love me.Copy !req
470. - Tell me.
- Yes, yes.Copy !req
471. - Tell me how much you love me.
- Yes.Copy !req
472. Tell me.Copy !req
473. I love you.Copy !req
474. I love you!Copy !req
475. I love you.Copy !req
476. That was so clever of you.Copy !req
477. Mescaline.Copy !req
478. How did you ever think of that?Copy !req
479. Alva.Copy !req
480. Oh, but why should I
be so surprised?Copy !req
481. My little literary genius.Copy !req
482. I knew you could keep
our passion a secret.Copy !req
483. Sweet dreams, my angel.Copy !req
484. Huh?
What's that?Copy !req
485. Wanna join me?Copy !req
486. Well, absolutely, love.Copy !req
487. Oh,
watch your step.Copy !req
488. Come on, now. Don't do that.
I have to go to work.Copy !req
489. Stop it now, come on.Copy !req
490. Whoo-hoo.Copy !req
491. Thank God it's Friday,
that's all I've got to say.Copy !req
492. All I'm gonna do this weekend
is stay home and sleep.Copy !req
493. This place is driving me crazy.Copy !req
494. - Mornin', everyone.
- Good morning.Copy !req
495. Hmm.
I wonder what Alva's doing today.Copy !req
496. Yes, Mr. Loew?Copy !req
497. Judy, would you
send Alva in here, please?Copy !req
498. She called in sick today,
Mr. Loew.Copy !req
499. - Did she?
- Yes, she said she had a very bad cold.Copy !req
500. - A bad cold. Thanks, Judy.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
501. A bad cold.Copy !req
502. My, my, my.Copy !req
503. I'm not going to work today, Mami.Copy !req
504. My boss is a bastard.Copy !req
505. Don't you use that kind of language
in front of me.Copy !req
506. Well, it's true.Copy !req
507. - I hate him.
- Yes, "I hate him. I hate him."Copy !req
508. What do you think?Copy !req
509. That's an excuse
not to go to work? Huh?Copy !req
510. You know how many people
hate their boss?Copy !req
511. I hate my boss,
but do I stay home and cry about it?Copy !req
512. - I know, Mami, but—
- Listen, young lady,Copy !req
513. you can't afford to lose that job!Copy !req
514. You'll get no more money
from your father and me.Copy !req
515. - I'll just get another job.
- I'm late.Copy !req
516. Now get dressed
and get your little ass into the city.Copy !req
517. - No.
- Now!Copy !req
518. What are you doing here?Copy !req
519. What, Alva? I can hardly hear you
through this window.Copy !req
520. What are you doing here?Copy !req
521. I heard you were sick.
A terrible cold.Copy !req
522. - I'm calling the police.
- The police?Copy !req
523. Alva, I'm here to call a truce, man.
Look...Copy !req
524. I just took a $20 taxi ride
all the way up here so I could tell youCopy !req
525. I think it was wrong
the way I treated you yesterday.Copy !req
526. Now, is that
an elaborate gesture or what?Copy !req
527. Plus, look.
Soup.Copy !req
528. Hi.Copy !req
529. Mr. Loew,
I stayed till one in the morning,Copy !req
530. and I still couldn't find the contract.Copy !req
531. Oh, Alva, don't worry about it.
It's understandable, really.Copy !req
532. Yeah, but I know how—
how worried you wereCopy !req
533. about losing
Mr. Heatherton as a client.Copy !req
534. Alva, right now
what's most important is your health.Copy !req
535. Well, I'm— you see,
I'm not really sick, Mr. Loew.Copy !req
536. It's just that, really,
I was just, you know,Copy !req
537. afraid to go back to the office
without the contract.Copy !req
538. Alva, I had a feeling
that was the caseCopy !req
539. and that's why I came
all the way up here.Copy !req
540. Because it's my fault
you feel that way.Copy !req
541. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
542. I know you're trying to run
an efficient office.Copy !req
543. That may be,
but some things just take time.Copy !req
544. Hey, Alva. The way I feel is,
the hell with Frank Heatherton.Copy !req
545. You know, if he wants
to go to another agency, fine.Copy !req
546. So, what do you say?
Do you wanna come to work?Copy !req
547. Door-to-door service, madam.
On me.Copy !req
548. Truce?Copy !req
549. Okay, truce.Copy !req
550. Just give me a few minutes.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
551. It's horrible when there are tensions
between employer and employee, Alva.Copy !req
552. Sometimes the pressures,
you know, they just build up.Copy !req
553. Wait till you
get into a position of authority.Copy !req
554. Yeah, well, I mean, if I ever do.Copy !req
555. You will, Alva.
You're a very bright girl.Copy !req
556. That's how I know that today,
by God,Copy !req
557. is the day you're gonna find
that damned Heatherton contract.Copy !req
558. I— I thought you said that—
that you didn't careCopy !req
559. if, uh, Mr. Heatherton
left the agency.Copy !req
560. I mean, I thought you said
that— that everything took time.Copy !req
561. Ah, but, Alva, that doesn't mean
we're gonna stop trying to doCopy !req
562. the best damn job we can.Copy !req
563. The work's not just gonna
go away, Alva.Copy !req
564. It never just goes away.Copy !req
565. That goddamn contractCopy !req
566. is somewhere
in those goddamn fucking files!Copy !req
567. - Are you all right, Mr. Loew?
- Shut up, bitch.Copy !req
568. Mr. Loew, uh,Copy !req
569. I was supposed to give
some money to my brotherCopy !req
570. - and...Copy !req
571. he works in that
gas station over there.Copy !req
572. You think it's okay
if we stop for a second?Copy !req
573. Yes, go.Copy !req
574. Emilio?Copy !req
575. - Hey.
- Come to the back.Copy !req
576. Hey. Don't take it so hard, sis.Copy !req
577. If you got the time to lean,
you got the time to clean.Copy !req
578. It's the same all around.Copy !req
579. Old Man Randolph,
he throws fits all the time.Copy !req
580. Oh, yeah? Well, listen to me, okay?
This guy is very weird.Copy !req
581. I'm telling you.Copy !req
582. - Driver: You all right, pal?Copy !req
583. That's my baby.Copy !req
584. Your...Copy !req
585. - wife?
- 50 years. Keeps me going.Copy !req
586. There is work and there is love.
I'm right?Copy !req
587. You are married man?Copy !req
588. Emilio.Copy !req
589. Remember this?
I want you to give me bullets for it.Copy !req
590. Put that away.
Are you crazy?Copy !req
591. No, I'm not crazy!
You gave it to me, right?Copy !req
592. Well, then,
what good is it if I can't use it?Copy !req
593. Shh!
What's goodCopy !req
594. is it'll scare the shit
out of any motherfuckerCopy !req
595. comes close enough to spit on you.Copy !req
596. Look, you ain't even supposed
to be carrying this thing around.Copy !req
597. Please?
I'm asking you, Emilio.Copy !req
598. Where is that little cunt?Copy !req
599. Look...Copy !req
600. Randolph don't even
keep real bullets in his gun, man.Copy !req
601. Ah, no?
But what about the robbery?Copy !req
602. I mean, when those pigs
came here to rob—Copy !req
603. He scared them off
with blanks.Copy !req
604. That's all he has here, Alva,
is blanks, you know?Copy !req
605. Okay, then give me
the fucking blanks.Copy !req
606. Fine.Copy !req
607. $44.50 only.Copy !req
608. Fucking clean me right out!Copy !req
609. Crazy Jews.Copy !req
610. I just shelled out almost 50 bucks
to get you back here, Alva.Copy !req
611. You better hope
you make it worth it to me.Copy !req
612. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
613. Oh, Christ, where—
where am I?Copy !req
614. Where am I?Copy !req
615. Where am I?
Oh, Chr— Christ!Copy !req
616. Where am I?Copy !req
617. I've become one.
A vampire. Oh, God!Copy !req
618. Oh, God,
where am I?Copy !req
619. You're in the goddamn crapper,
Loew, and I'm taking a dump.Copy !req
620. So either leave the goddamn
acting lessons for homeCopy !req
621. or go back to the ladies' room!Copy !req
622. Arthur Hesse on L-1, Mr. Loew.Copy !req
623. Tell him I'm out.
In fact, tell anyone who callsCopy !req
624. I'm out.
I'm in a meeting.Copy !req
625. Are you all right, Mr. Loew?Copy !req
626. - Tell him I'm in a meeting.
- Oh, yes, Mr. Loew.Copy !req
627. It's impossible.Copy !req
628. It can't be.Copy !req
629. It's impossible.Copy !req
630. It can't be.Copy !req
631. Mr. Loew?
I found the contract.Copy !req
632. Mr. Loew, I found it!Copy !req
633. Mr. Loew?Copy !req
634. Mr. Loew? I found the contract.Copy !req
635. I never found the right woman,
that's all.Copy !req
636. I just—
I never found the right woman.Copy !req
637. There's work and there's love.
I'm right?Copy !req
638. Mr. Loew?Copy !req
639. I found the contract.Copy !req
640. Mr. L—
I finally found—Copy !req
641. Well...Copy !req
642. it's just...Copy !req
643. too late, Alva.Copy !req
644. But why is it too late?Copy !req
645. It's too late, Alva.Copy !req
646. It's not too late.Copy !req
647. Too late. Too late.Copy !req
648. It's not too late.Copy !req
649. - It's not too late!
- Too late! Too late!Copy !req
650. - Too late! Too late!
- Get away!Copy !req
651. It's too late, Alva!
It's all too late, Alva!Copy !req
652. - Alva: Get away!
- Come here!Copy !req
653. - Come here, Alva!
- Stay away!Copy !req
654. Stay away!Copy !req
655. - Do it.
- I will.Copy !req
656. Do it, Alva.
Do it.Copy !req
657. I swear to God I will!Copy !req
658. Alva, do it or I'll fire you.
Do you understand?Copy !req
659. Unemployment.
Can you live with that?Copy !req
660. Oh, please.Copy !req
661. - Do it, God damn it!
- Please, don't rape me.Copy !req
662. Rape you? I will.
Come on, Alva.Copy !req
663. - Shoot.Copy !req
664. Oh, God!Copy !req
665. Not the floor, Alva.
Me!Copy !req
666. - Stay away!Copy !req
667. Me! Me!Copy !req
668. - Damn it. Help me.Copy !req
669. - Help me!Copy !req
670. Shoot me!
Me! Me! Me!Copy !req
671. - You're fired!
- Oh, please!Copy !req
672. God!Copy !req
673. God!Copy !req
674. You're with me now, angel.Copy !req
675. Boo-hoo!Copy !req
676. Boo-hoo!Copy !req
677. Hey.Copy !req
678. Hey, I'm a vampire.Copy !req
679. A real vampire.Copy !req
680. I'm a vampire!
I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!Copy !req
681. I'm a vampire!
I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!Copy !req
682. - I'm hungry.Copy !req
683. Well, well.Copy !req
684. You're with me now.Copy !req
685. You're completely with me.Copy !req
686. You're like me now, my angel.Copy !req
687. You know what you have to do.Copy !req
688. - Mother: Alva?Copy !req
689. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
690. Come on, now.
Breakfast is on the table.Copy !req
691. Leave me alone.Copy !req
692. Alva?Copy !req
693. Alva!Copy !req
694. Don't know.
She don't want to get out of bed.Copy !req
695. She's tired, I guess.Copy !req
696. - She go out last night?
- I don't know.Copy !req
697. She didn't get in that late.Copy !req
698. She went right into her room.Copy !req
699. Alvy?Copy !req
700. Alvy, you awake?Copy !req
701. Alva?Copy !req
702. You all right?Copy !req
703. Go away.Copy !req
704. Yeah, well, I'll be at the station
today, you want talk.Copy !req
705. Yeah, well, I'll see ya.Copy !req
706. Fucking bastards!Copy !req
707. We just got these in.Copy !req
708. Now, these are fiberglass.Copy !req
709. Very lifelike.Copy !req
710. See the way they color them?Copy !req
711. Just a little touch of yellow
so they blend in better.Copy !req
712. - How much?
- Those are $19.95.Copy !req
713. What's the matter?Copy !req
714. Do you have anything for less?Copy !req
715. Oh, sure.Copy !req
716. I got some cheapie plastic ones.
They're only $3.50.Copy !req
717. Cheapie...Copy !req
718. - I will take the plastic.
- Okay.Copy !req
719. - Hello?
- Hello, Dr. Glaser?Copy !req
720. This is Peter Loew.
Peter Loew.Copy !req
721. Yes, Peter,
how are you?Copy !req
722. I wonder if I could make
my next appointment with you sooner.Copy !req
723. I'd really like to make it sooner.Copy !req
724. Well, uh, let's see.Copy !req
725. My next appointment with you is, uh—
is Tuesday afternoon, right?Copy !req
726. I'd like to make it sooner.Copy !req
727. Dr.
I'm open on Tuesday morning. How's that?Copy !req
728. - Sooner.
- Uh-huh. Peter, do you have a cold?Copy !req
729. - A cold. Yeah.
- Okay, look, I could squeeze you inCopy !req
730. on Monday afternoon.
Can you make that?Copy !req
731. - Oh, sooner.
- Peter, is it something very urgent?Copy !req
732. Very urgent, yes.Copy !req
733. - All right.
- Hurry up, honey.Copy !req
734. I'll tell you what.
Uh...Copy !req
735. Why don't you
come in first thing Monday morningCopy !req
736. and I'll come in to the office early?Copy !req
737. - 7:30, all right?
- 7:30.Copy !req
738. - Monday morning.
- Dr. That's right.Copy !req
739. 7:30 Monday morning.Copy !req
740. - Whoa!Copy !req
741. Why not come closerCopy !req
742. To my hungry lips?Copy !req
743. If you come closerCopy !req
744. I'll feel your fingertipsCopy !req
745. Why not come closerCopy !req
746. To my hungry lips?Copy !req
747. If you come closerCopy !req
748. I'll squeeze your velvet hips...Copy !req
749. Hello?Copy !req
750. Hi, I was just thinkingCopy !req
751. WellCopy !req
752. Who's there?Copy !req
753. Yeah...Copy !req
754. No!Copy !req
755. I'm sorry.Copy !req
756. Very antisocial, Peter.Copy !req
757. - Extremely antisocial behavior.Copy !req
758. My, my goodness.Copy !req
759. However are you
going to continue this way?Copy !req
760. Rachel.Copy !req
761. Are you actually going to
go through with this every night?Copy !req
762. I can do it.Copy !req
763. I know I can do it now.Copy !req
764. I'm like you, remember?Copy !req
765. Peter,
you are so pathetic.Copy !req
766. This?Copy !req
767. - I love you.Copy !req
768. I like you.Copy !req
769. You disgust me, Peter.Copy !req
770. - You're with me.
- Don't touch me.Copy !req
771. You are with me.Copy !req
772. Well,
it doesn't look like it.Copy !req
773. Does it, Donald?Copy !req
774. No.Copy !req
775. Doesn't appear that way,Copy !req
776. does it?Copy !req
777. Doesn't appear that way at all.Copy !req
778. I love you.
You can't just walk away.Copy !req
779. You don't know what you're doing.Copy !req
780. Damn it!Copy !req
781. I said I love you!Copy !req
782. - Hey, buddy!
- You don't remember me?Copy !req
783. You don't remember me?Copy !req
784. - Peter, right?
- Yes! Right! Peter! Right!Copy !req
785. - Well, how are you?
- How am I?Copy !req
786. - Get off!
- Buddy, calm down!Copy !req
787. Let go of me,
you fuck!Copy !req
788. You see her teeth?Copy !req
789. - Shut up!
- Peter: You see her teeth?Copy !req
790. - Shut up—
- She's a goddamn vampire!Copy !req
791. - No!
- Get out of here!Copy !req
792. You fucking cunt!Copy !req
793. You're breaking up with meCopy !req
794. after I sucked that broad bone dry.Copy !req
795. Look at her teeth, all of you.Copy !req
796. She's a goddamn vampire!Copy !req
797. She made me one, too!
Look at her teeth!Copy !req
798. Look at her teeth!Copy !req
799. She's a goddamn vampire!Copy !req
800. She made me one, too!Copy !req
801. - Stay out!Copy !req
802. You see, I know I am.
I'm a vampire.Copy !req
803. I can prove it.
You got a gun? You got a gun?Copy !req
804. Get the fuck off me!Copy !req
805. - No! Don't!Copy !req
806. Please! Don't!Copy !req
807. Better get back in your coffin, buddy.Copy !req
808. The sun's almost up.Copy !req
809. She was just a fucking
high school cuntCopy !req
810. and I don't believe
I ever really loved her,Copy !req
811. you know,
but she's a cunt, a high school—Copy !req
812. No!Copy !req
813. No sun!Copy !req
814. Christ!Copy !req
815. This is the end!Copy !req
816. I can't take it anymore!Copy !req
817. Go ahead!
Kill me!Copy !req
818. Hey, what's doing?Copy !req
819. Hey.Copy !req
820. Hey, what's wrong?Copy !req
821. Oh, God.Copy !req
822. Hey, hey.Copy !req
823. Hey, now.
Hey, hey.Copy !req
824. What's the matter, baby?Copy !req
825. - Huh?Copy !req
826. What's the matter?Copy !req
827. Tell me. Tell me.Copy !req
828. - Tell me what happened.Copy !req
829. My girlfriend broke up with me.Copy !req
830. I'm a vampire.
Kill me.Copy !req
831. Kill me!Copy !req
832. Your rosary beads.Copy !req
833. Take them out
and put the cross up to me like this.Copy !req
834. - I no speak the English.
- The cross. The crucifix.Copy !req
835. Me vampire!Copy !req
836. Vampire, you idiot.
Nosferatu.Copy !req
837. - Christ!Copy !req
838. The tortures of the damned!Copy !req
839. - Driver: Get the hell out of my way!Copy !req
840. - Are you nuts? Are you crazy?Copy !req
841. All right.
Just tell me when you see him.Copy !req
842. Sorry, I forgot.
Where did we leave off?Copy !req
843. Well, Peter,
you wanted very muchCopy !req
844. to make an earlier appointment,
so what's up?Copy !req
845. Well, I've been thinking about
my depressions very seriously,Copy !req
846. and frankly,
I just don't think you can help me.Copy !req
847. I think your profession
is entirely bogus.Copy !req
848. Entirely.
From my point of view, that is.Copy !req
849. You really think so?Copy !req
850. Yes, I do.
I've been spending a lot of money hereCopy !req
851. and I just think
it's time for a change.Copy !req
852. A change?Copy !req
853. What exactly did you
have in mind for yourself?Copy !req
854. - Don't laugh.
- I'm a professional, I don't laugh.Copy !req
855. Um...Copy !req
856. love.Copy !req
857. Love?Copy !req
858. Yes, baby, real love.Copy !req
859. The sweep-me-off-my-feet,Copy !req
860. - the big I.Copy !req
861. What?Copy !req
862. No, I'm not talking about
fairytale love.Copy !req
863. I'm talking about
a mature relationship.Copy !req
864. What do you think,
I'm a kid?Copy !req
865. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
866. You're thinking,Copy !req
867. "Sure, let's see him go out
in the jungle and try to find love.Copy !req
868. He'll come crawling
back here in no time."Copy !req
869. I know it isn't easy,
but I know it's possible.Copy !req
870. Hell,
I see it around me every day.Copy !req
871. Do you know how horrible
it is to see it around you every day?Copy !req
872. Do you know
what kind of torture that is?Copy !req
873. I'll find it, God damn it.Copy !req
874. I'll find it for myself,
and then I'll be happy.Copy !req
875. Holy shit,
then I'll be happy.Copy !req
876. I mean—Copy !req
877. You said you wouldn't laugh.Copy !req
878. I am—Copy !req
879. It just— um—Copy !req
880. I'm sorry. I'm only—Copy !req
881. I'm only laughing
because, well, uh...Copy !req
882. if you had told me,
if you had just told the good doctor...Copy !req
883. the time you could have saved.Copy !req
884. The money the both of you
could have saved.Copy !req
885. Both of us?
Both of us?Copy !req
886. What do you mean the both of us?Copy !req
887. You and Sharon.Copy !req
888. - Sharon?
- Yes!Copy !req
889. The patient who comes in after you.Copy !req
890. She complains of exactly
the same thing you do and...Copy !req
891. personality-wise,Copy !req
892. I think you two
are made for each other.Copy !req
893. - Really?
- Oh!Copy !req
894. I should have matched
you two guys up a long time ago!Copy !req
895. - Hey, I think she's here now.Copy !req
896. I'll just go and check.Copy !req
897. Sharon.Copy !req
898. What a beautiful name.Copy !req
899. It's incredible.Copy !req
900. It's really incredible.Copy !req
901. Ah!Copy !req
902. Sharon,
this is Peter Loew.Copy !req
903. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
904. I like poetry,
horseback riding,Copy !req
905. Vivaldi,
and long weekends in the country.Copy !req
906. Those are exactly
the same things that I like.Copy !req
907. Wait a minute.Copy !req
908. "We walked along,
while bright and redCopy !req
909. uprose the rising sun."Copy !req
910. - Wordsworth.
- Incredible.Copy !req
911. Wow.Copy !req
912. I guess you two
won't be needing me anymore.Copy !req
913. I guess not.
Thank you so much, Dr. Glaser.Copy !req
914. This one's going to last,
I can tell.Copy !req
915. - It was written in the stars.
- Written in the stars, yes.Copy !req
916. - Do you like Japanese food, Sharon?
- It's the best. So...Copy !req
917. - Both:... refreshing.
- Did you see that?Copy !req
918. We're on exactly
the same wavelength.Copy !req
919. Fantastic.Copy !req
920. So long, Dr. Glaser.Copy !req
921. Oh, I almost forgot.Copy !req
922. Yes, Peter?Copy !req
923. Well, I did rape someone
a couple nights ago.Copy !req
924. A girl at the office.
I just lost control.Copy !req
925. It's just a little id release,
no use to worry.Copy !req
926. I just thought I should tell you,
okay?Copy !req
927. It's a load off my mind.Copy !req
928. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
929. also, I, uh—Copy !req
930. Just spit it out, Peter.Copy !req
931. Well, the fact is,
I did murder someone last night.Copy !req
932. I turned into a vampire,
it's a long story.Copy !req
933. - Goodness.
- Dr. Peter, Peter, Peter,Copy !req
934. people get murdered every day
in this city.Copy !req
935. Do you think the world
is going to stop?Copy !req
936. Yeah, I guess, but the police
and everything. What if they find me?Copy !req
937. Would you stop worrying
and just get on with your big romance.Copy !req
938. He hasn't even been arrested
and the big lug is carrying on.Copy !req
939. Now, just get out of here,
the both of you.Copy !req
940. Have a wonderful life togetherCopy !req
941. and I will take care of the cops.Copy !req
942. Go on, get out, both of you.
Out, out, out.Copy !req
943. Tsh, tsh, tsh.Copy !req
944. Thank you very much,
Dr. Glaser.Copy !req
945. You are a gem.Copy !req
946. Come on, Sharon.Copy !req
947. You like that tune?Copy !req
948. Yeah.Copy !req
949. Well, actually,
I live up right around here.Copy !req
950. Do you wanna come up?
You can join me.Copy !req
951. Okay.Copy !req
952. Well,
I was born in Philadelphia,Copy !req
953. but I've been a New Yorker now
for going on 10 years.Copy !req
954. What about you?Copy !req
955. - Ah, nice.
- Here you go.Copy !req
956. It's very beautiful country
up there.Copy !req
957. Yeah.Copy !req
958. What?Copy !req
959. This?Copy !req
960. It's like I started saying before,
I turned into a vampire last week.Copy !req
961. It's all in the past, though.
You okay? You know...Copy !req
962. There he is.Copy !req
963. Nah, I don't wanna
talk about it anymore.Copy !req
964. I mean, it's all from
a very unhappy period in my lifeCopy !req
965. and I don't wanna talk about it.
End of subject, okay?Copy !req
966. Sharon...Copy !req
967. God damn it,
what'd I just say?Copy !req
968. You don't let up,
do you, cunt?Copy !req
969. I mean, you just keep harpin'Copy !req
970. and harpin' over the same
goddamn thing.Copy !req
971. "Why did you become a vampire?Copy !req
972. Why couldn't you be normal?Copy !req
973. Well, Peter, does this mean
we can never have children?"Copy !req
974. 'Cause there's no way in hellCopy !req
975. that I would ever, ever marryCopy !req
976. a loudmouth pig like you.Copy !req
977. 'Cause in the 10 minutes I'm with youCopy !req
978. and the shit just starts right up.Copy !req
979. What? What?Copy !req
980. You hate my guts?Copy !req
981. You wanna go home?Copy !req
982. You wanna leave?
Good. Fine.Copy !req
983. Get the hell out of here,
you fucking pig!Copy !req
984. Leave me the fuck alone!Copy !req
985. I really can't handle
these relationships.Copy !req
986. Maybe I should see a shrink.Copy !req
987. Get up.Copy !req
988. - Emilio: Get up, motherfucker!Copy !req
989. Dream of me, my angel.Copy !req
990. Dream of me.Copy !req
991. Dream of me, my angel.Copy !req
992. Dream of me.Copy !req