1. Put me down. Stop it.Copy !req
2. Say, Daisy Lou,
would you like to hear a little tune?Copy !req
3. Cousin.Copy !req
4. Oh, Blackie,Copy !req
5. you're wonderful.Copy !req
6. Sweetheart, I'll talk to him.Copy !req
7. Son, your mother and me would like for youCopy !req
8. to cozy up to the Finkelstein boy.
He's a bright kid,Copy !req
9. and he's going to military school and...Copy !req
10. Remember, he was an Eagle Scout and...Copy !req
11. - Arnold...
- Will you shut up?Copy !req
12. We're not going to have a family brawl.Copy !req
13. and a retard.Copy !req
14. We put up with a hell of a lot.Copy !req
15. Can this wait?Copy !req
16. Build your goddamn muscles, huh?Copy !req
17. You know, you could build your muscles
picking strawberries.Copy !req
18. You know, bend and scoop,
like the Mexicans.Copy !req
19. Shit, maybe I could get you
a job with United Fruit.Copy !req
20. I got a buddy with United Fruit.Copy !req
21. Get you started. Start with strawberries,Copy !req
22. you might work your way up
to these goddamn bananas.Copy !req
23. When, boy?Copy !req
24. When are you going to
get your act together?Copy !req
25. Gross.Copy !req
26. Oh, good God almighty me.Copy !req
27. I think he's the Antichrist.Copy !req
28. Anthony, I want to talk to you.
Now, listen.Copy !req
29. Don't walk away from me
when I'm talking to you.Copy !req
30. You get a goddamn job before sundown,Copy !req
31. or we're shipping you off
to military schoolCopy !req
32. with that goddamn Finkelstein shit kid.Copy !req
33. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
34. Up in smokeCopy !req
35. That's where my money goesCopy !req
36. In my lungsCopy !req
37. Sometimes up my noseCopy !req
38. When troubled timesCopy !req
39. Begin to bother meCopy !req
40. I take a tokeCopy !req
41. And all my cares go up in smokeCopy !req
42. You girls need a ride?Copy !req
43. - No.
- No.Copy !req
44. - You sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
45. I'm going that way.Copy !req
46. - No.
- Later for you, you little jailbaits.Copy !req
47. What's that? She's hitchhiking.Copy !req
48. Watch out. Coming over. Geronimo!Copy !req
49. Hey, double bubble.Copy !req
50. Come on, baby. I'll give you a ride.
Let's go.Copy !req
51. Yeah, bend over.
I'll drive you home, baby.Copy !req
52. - Hey, you ain't a chick.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
53. But listen, that's the only way
I can get anybody to stop, man.Copy !req
54. Hey, that's false advertising, that, man.Copy !req
55. Yeah, I know, but listen,
I slept in a ditch last night, man.Copy !req
56. I almost froze my balls off, man.Copy !req
57. I didn't even think you had any, man.
I wouldn't even have stopped.Copy !req
58. Oh, wow. Hey, I really like your car, man.Copy !req
59. - Oh, you do?
- Wow. Did you do this yourself?Copy !req
60. Yeah, I customized it myself, man.Copy !req
61. Wow. Looks fantastic, man.Copy !req
62. Yeah, I guess it does.Copy !req
63. Well, I'll give you a ride.Copy !req
64. - Come on, let's go.
- Okay, just a minute, man.Copy !req
65. I gotta get my stuff.Copy !req
66. Okay, well, hurry up,
'cause I got a lot of things to do.Copy !req
67. Shit. Shit.Copy !req
68. - Okay. Let's go.
- Hey, just a minute, man.Copy !req
69. I got a few more things
I gotta get, okay? I'll be right back.Copy !req
70. - Just a minute.
- Hurry up, man.Copy !req
71. What are you going to do, move in, man?Copy !req
72. Put her in first gear.Copy !req
73. Here we go. Hey, hey!Copy !req
74. Second gear. Hey!Copy !req
75. Third gear. Here we go!Copy !req
76. Hey, man, how far you going, man?Copy !req
77. Right here would be fine, man.Copy !req
78. You ain't scared of a little speed,
are you, man?Copy !req
79. Oh, you got some speed, man?Copy !req
80. Speed? No, I don't got no speed, man.Copy !req
81. Hey, you know what I do got, though, man?Copy !req
82. I got a joint, man.Copy !req
83. Oh, wow. All right.Copy !req
84. Come on, light it up.
Let's get Chinese eyes, man.Copy !req
85. Hey, what kind of joint is this, man?Copy !req
86. It's a heavy-duty joint, man.Copy !req
87. It looks like a toothpick, man.Copy !req
88. - No, it's not a toothpick, man.
- No, hey, it is a toothpick, man.Copy !req
89. No, man, it's just...Copy !req
90. It is a toothpick.Copy !req
91. I must've got it in the other pocket, man.Copy !req
92. Hold on, man.
I got the real shit right here, man.Copy !req
93. Oh, that's my dick. Yeah, there we go.Copy !req
94. Hey, there you go, man.
Light that sucker up, man.Copy !req
95. We'll go to the moon.Copy !req
96. Jeez, I hope your dick's
bigger than this, man.Copy !req
97. Hey, man, you want to
get out and walk, man?Copy !req
98. Hey, you want to get high, man?Copy !req
99. Does Howdy Doody got wooden balls, man?Copy !req
100. I got a joint here, man,
I've been saving for a special occasion.Copy !req
101. Go on, fire it up.Copy !req
102. Hey, I hope the drums don't mess up
your upholstery, man.Copy !req
103. No, I'm in a band, too, man.Copy !req
104. - Oh, are you?
- Yeah, I'm a lead singer, man.Copy !req
105. - Wow, that's hip, man.
- Yeah, we play everythingCopy !req
106. from, like, Santana to El Chicano, man.
You know, like, everything.Copy !req
107. Hey, I'm just a love machineCopy !req
108. And I don't work for nobody but youCopy !req
109. I'm just a love machineCopy !req
110. And I don't work for nobody but youCopy !req
111. Woman, when my temperature riseCopy !req
112. And then I go for her thighsCopy !req
113. And then I see guacamole in my shoesCopy !req
114. Guacamole in my shoeCopy !req
115. Is that a joint, man?Copy !req
116. Looks like a Quarter Pounder, man.Copy !req
117. Led Zeppelin.Copy !req
118. Hey, be careful with that shit, man.Copy !req
119. What, is it heavy stuff, man?
Will it blow me away?Copy !req
120. Better put your seatbelt on, man.
I'll tell you that much.Copy !req
121. Shit, I been smoking
since I was born, man.Copy !req
122. I can smoke anything, man.Copy !req
123. Like I smoke that Michoacán, man,
Acapulco Gold, man.Copy !req
124. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?Copy !req
125. Tied stick?Copy !req
126. Yeah, you know. That stuff,
it's tied to a stick, you know.Copy !req
127. Oh, Thai stick.Copy !req
128. Yeah, that didn't even
do nothing to me, man.Copy !req
129. I could probably smoke this whole joint,
man, and still walk away, man.Copy !req
130. It wouldn't be no problem at all, man.Copy !req
131. Toke. Toke it up, man.Copy !req
132. Dude, that's...Copy !req
133. Kind of grabs you
by the boo-boo, don't it?Copy !req
134. - Hey, man.
- What?Copy !req
135. What?Copy !req
136. Hey, what's in this shit, man?Copy !req
137. Mostly Maui Wowie, man.Copy !req
138. - Yeah?
- But it's got some Labrador in it.Copy !req
139. - What's Labrador?
- It's dog shit.Copy !req
140. - What?
- Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.Copy !req
141. Had it on the table,
and the little mother fucker ate it, man.Copy !req
142. Yeah?Copy !req
143. So I had to follow him around
with a little baggieCopy !req
144. for three days before I got it back.Copy !req
145. Really blew the dog's mind.Copy !req
146. You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?Copy !req
147. Gets you high, don't it?Copy !req
148. I think it's even better than before,
you know?Copy !req
149. Damn, I wonder
what Great Dane tastes like, man.Copy !req
150. Wow, man.Copy !req
151. That's some heavy shit, man.Copy !req
152. Yeah.Copy !req
153. Hey, man, am I driving okay?Copy !req
154. I think we're parked, man.Copy !req
155. Oh, shit.Copy !req
156. God damn, what was in that shit, man?Copy !req
157. I never had no dope like that
before in my life, man.Copy !req
158. That's the heaviest shit
I ever smoked, man.Copy !req
159. I mean, I smoked a lot
of shit before, man,Copy !req
160. but, God damn, man, that's heavy shit.Copy !req
161. You okay?Copy !req
162. I can't breathe.Copy !req
163. What's the matter?Copy !req
164. I can't breathe, man.Copy !req
165. Well, just... Well, here. Hey, man.Copy !req
166. Hey, hey, I got something
that will mellow you out, man.Copy !req
167. You're just freaking out. Here.Copy !req
168. - Here.
- I never smoked no shit like that before.Copy !req
169. - Take these, man. Take these.
- What?Copy !req
170. - This will mellow you out, man.
- What is this?Copy !req
171. - What is this, man?
- Just take them, man.Copy !req
172. Hey, don't take those, man.Copy !req
173. What?Copy !req
174. I almost gave you the wrong shit, man.Copy !req
175. Hey, man, I already took them, man.Copy !req
176. Hey, what do you mean?Copy !req
177. Wow, man.Copy !req
178. Hey, what was that shit, man?Copy !req
179. You just ate the most acid
I've ever seen anybody eat in my life.Copy !req
180. Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.Copy !req
181. Jeez, I hope you're not busy
for about a month.Copy !req
182. Shit, I'm going to die, man.
That stuff's going to make me die, man.Copy !req
183. - Oh, man. No, that's good acid, man.
- Hey, man, I never had it before, man.Copy !req
184. - It won't hurt you, man.
- It's going to make me freak out, man.Copy !req
185. I seen those guys
that walk around my neighborhoodCopy !req
186. - that had too many acid, man.
- Oh, dude...Copy !req
187. Their heads look like a pumpkin,
like that, man.Copy !req
188. No, you're okay. Mellow out. Relax, man.Copy !req
189. Hey, mellow out, man!Copy !req
190. Now just go, "Om."Copy !req
191. - What?
- Do it, man.Copy !req
192. - Om.
- Om.Copy !req
193. - Om.
- Om.Copy !req
194. - Om.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
195. Mellow.Copy !req
196. Mellow.Copy !req
197. Mellow.Copy !req
198. Yeah.Copy !req
199. - You better now, man?
- Yeah.Copy !req
200. - You mellow?
- Yeah.Copy !req
201. Feel all right, huh?Copy !req
202. Yeah.Copy !req
203. - What are you doing, man?
- Sometimes that helps, man.Copy !req
204. Hey, listen, can we get off
this street, man?Copy !req
205. Listen, we're parked in a bad spot.Copy !req
206. - That's heavy, man.
- The cops just went by, man.Copy !req
207. Hey, they're right...
Hey, man, we're being pulled over, man.Copy !req
208. - Hey, that's heavy, man.
- Hey, it's the cops.Copy !req
209. They're coming, man.Copy !req
210. This is cool, man.
I never had it before, man.Copy !req
211. I didn't think
it was going to be like this, man.Copy !req
212. What's the problem, son?Copy !req
213. Roll down your window.Copy !req
214. Keep on knocking. But you can't come in.Copy !req
215. Don't, man. It's the cops, man.Copy !req
216. Wait, I gotta roll down the window, man.Copy !req
217. Here you go. Weigh the anchor.
How much does it weigh?Copy !req
218. I don't know. I forgot. You forgot?Copy !req
219. I saw that on a movie once.Copy !req
220. - Can I see your license, sir?
- What?Copy !req
221. Your license. Where's your license?Copy !req
222. License. It's on the bumper, man.
Back there, man.Copy !req
223. No. I mean your driver's license.Copy !req
224. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I got my driver's license, man.Copy !req
225. I just thought of
something real funny, man.Copy !req
226. Hey, your mama.Copy !req
227. - Sir, what is your name?
- What?Copy !req
228. What's your name?Copy !req
229. Isn't it on there on the license, man?Copy !req
230. Yeah, that's it. Pedro De Pacas, man.
That's my name.Copy !req
231. - Just wait here a minute, huh?
- Okay.Copy !req
232. Hey, hurry back.
I miss you already, darling.Copy !req
233. Come on, man.
I gotta get rid of this dope, man.Copy !req
234. - Don't act a fool.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
235. - We're gonna get busted.
- I'll be cool.Copy !req
236. I'm blind. Oh, shit, I'm blind!Copy !req
237. Hey, blind, man.Copy !req
238. I can see clearly now, the rain...Copy !req
239. Hey, how long does this shit last, man?Copy !req
240. - And what is your name, sir?
- You scared me, man.Copy !req
241. What? I told you my name, man.Copy !req
242. Sir, what's your name?Copy !req
243. Hey there. Hey, what's your name, man?Copy !req
244. The dude wants to know your name, man.Copy !req
245. His name is Ralph, man.Copy !req
246. I was sitting in the coffee shop
just minding my own affairsCopy !req
247. When all of a sudden this policeman
caught me unawaresCopy !req
248. He said, "Is your name Pedro?"
I says, "Yeah, I guess so"Copy !req
249. He said, "Then come with meCopy !req
250. "'cause you're the man
we've been looking for"Copy !req
251. I said, "Hey, man, I've been framedCopy !req
252. "Hey, no, really, man, I was framed"Copy !req
253. I never do nothing wrong, man
But every time I get the blameCopy !req
254. I been framedCopy !req
255. They put me in the line-up
And let the bright lights shineCopy !req
256. There was ten poor dudes like me
Standing in that lineCopy !req
257. I knew I was a victim
of somebody's evil planCopy !req
258. When this scroungy-looking dude
came up and saidCopy !req
259. "Yeah, that's him, man"Copy !req
260. "Hey, wait a minute, man
I've been framed, manCopy !req
261. "Oh, listen to me, judge
I was framed"Copy !req
262. I never do nothing wrong
Oh, but every time, I get the blameCopy !req
263. Hey, I've been framedCopy !req
264. Parole.Copy !req
265. Then the prosecuting attorney
started prosecuting on meCopy !req
266. You boys are in a lot of trouble.Copy !req
267. That dude gave me
the first, second, and third degreeCopy !req
268. He said, "Where were you
on the night of July 29?"Copy !req
269. I said, "Man, I was home in bed"
He said, "Judge, that man's lying"Copy !req
270. Hey, excuse me, I need a drink of water.Copy !req
271. I said, "Wait a minute, man
I was framed, manCopy !req
272. "Hey, just listen to me, man, reallyCopy !req
273. "Gotta believe me
I've been framed, man"Copy !req
274. I never do nothing wrongCopy !req
275. Hey, thanks, Pedro.Copy !req
276. Oh, but every time I get the blameCopy !req
277. Oh, I was framedCopy !req
278. Fucking vodka, man.Copy !req
279. - Oh, shit.
- Oh, hey, I'm down here.Copy !req
280. Wow, I didn't see you, man.Copy !req
281. Hey, listen, you can sleep
in that bedroom right there, man.Copy !req
282. - Oh, okay.
- Yeah, it's cool there.Copy !req
283. - Check you in the morning.
- Hey, listen, where's the bathroom?Copy !req
284. Oh, it's right there. See that door there?Copy !req
285. - See you tomorrow, all right?
- Yeah, we got rehearsal.Copy !req
286. - Okay. Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
287. Hey, listen, man, if you hear some noise
in the bedroom,Copy !req
288. you know, moaning and groaning,
don't pay any attention to it,Copy !req
289. it's just me and my old lady.Copy !req
290. Next tune you hear
will be Dueling Bedsprings.Copy !req
291. - Check you in the morning.
- See you tomorrow.Copy !req
292. Amigos, presenting you all's new uniforms.Copy !req
293. - All right. All right, show time.
- Come on. Looky here. Looky here.Copy !req
294. Looky here. Check it out.Copy !req
295. - All right, you want more shit...
- Hey, man, I can't wear this stuff, man.Copy !req
296. - Hey, you...
- This is terrible, man.Copy !req
297. Look, it don't even fit.Copy !req
298. No, baby,
you cleaner than Skeeter's peter.Copy !req
299. You just don't understand the new style.Copy !req
300. - Baby, the name plate...
- Oh, man. Look, it don't even...Copy !req
301. Hey, it's too short, man.Copy !req
302. Oh, well, we'll just make
a few minor adjustments, holmes.Copy !req
303. - Look here. Ain't nothing to...
- Hey, hold it, man.Copy !req
304. No, man, I can't wear this.Copy !req
305. Oh, Curtis, man.Copy !req
306. Look at these uniforms, Jack.Copy !req
307. - Didn't I put them in the pocket?
- These uniforms is out of sight, man.Copy !req
308. - Shut your mouth, baby.
- Out of sight, man.Copy !req
309. I hope mine is as bad as this,
you know?Copy !req
310. Hey, you know it.Copy !req
311. - You see them new cuts on them?
- Yeah, yeah, man.Copy !req
312. All they need is rhinestones
on them pointed shoes, man.Copy !req
313. - Yeah.
- They out of sight, all right.Copy !req
314. Hey, these uniforms are lame, man.Copy !req
315. - What you mean lame, sucker?
- Hey, Pedro, man.Copy !req
316. Where's the white dude
you say was playing the drums?Copy !req
317. That's him, man.
Oh, that's James, the bass player, man.Copy !req
318. - Yeah, what's happening?
- Hey, seriously, man,Copy !req
319. these look like waiter uniforms.Copy !req
320. - You don't like them, man?
- No.Copy !req
321. Oh, wow. I'll be in the kitchen.Copy !req
322. He don't like it, he wants some...Copy !req
323. Hey, wait a minute. He's right, man.
These are lame.Copy !req
324. This is the new cut. You all be bad.Copy !req
325. No, hey, man.
If we're going to wear uniforms, man,Copy !req
326. you know, let's everybody
wear something different.Copy !req
327. Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, we want somethingCopy !req
328. where everybody
wears something different, man,Copy !req
329. but the same, you know?Copy !req
330. - I gotta get out of this stuff.
- Yeah, okay. Hurry up, man.Copy !req
331. - Hey, hey.
- Yeah, those are lame, man.Copy !req
332. - Get us something else, man.
- Pedro.Copy !req
333. - Pedro, this is Curtis, baby.
- Yeah, I know Curtis, man.Copy !req
334. I mean, I'm on top of it. Rest easy.
Curtis is on the case.Copy !req
335. Come on, man.
Hurry up and get dressed.Copy !req
336. We gotta go score a lid.Copy !req
337. and we'd like to rock 'n' roll
and play some great music.Copy !req
338. I have a song here by a group
called the Search Boys.Copy !req
339. And the Search Boys are
going to go searching.Copy !req
340. Don't ask me what
they're going to go searching for,Copy !req
341. but they're gonna go searching.
So let's do it.Copy !req
342. I can't believe we can't find
no grass nowhere, man.Copy !req
343. That's 'cause too many people
are smoking it now.Copy !req
344. And it really makes it
tough on the rest of us.Copy !req
345. - Yeah.
- You know what I mean?Copy !req
346. - The prices have gone crazy, man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
347. I mean, some people are paying, like,
100 bucks a lid, man.Copy !req
348. Wow.Copy !req
349. - Who lives here, man?
- That's my cousin Strawberry, man.Copy !req
350. He's probably got some dope, man.
He's always got the best smoke.Copy !req
351. Oh, I hope so, man.Copy !req
352. Yeah, well, he's cool.
His only thing is, he's a little weird.Copy !req
353. You know, like,
he went over to Vietnam, man,Copy !req
354. and he came back all weirded out,
you know.Copy !req
355. Yeah, well, that Nam grass
will do it to you, man.Copy !req
356. - Yeah.
- That stuff will lay you out, man.Copy !req
357. He's really weird, man.Copy !req
358. - That's what lost the war.
- So, like, be careful.Copy !req
359. Whatever you do, don't say nothingCopy !req
360. about his birthmark there, man,
because he flips out.Copy !req
361. Hey, I ain't going to talk about
nobody's birthmark.Copy !req
362. Yeah, don't look at it, either.Copy !req
363. Come on.Copy !req
364. You sure it's a birthmark, man?Copy !req
365. 'Cause sometimes that Nam grass
will do weird thingsCopy !req
366. to your face, too, you know.Copy !req
367. Who is it?Copy !req
368. It's me, Pedro, man.Copy !req
369. Pedro's not here.Copy !req
370. No, I'm Pedro, man. Open up.Copy !req
371. - What's the matter, man?
- I don't know.Copy !req
372. Somebody's messing around
in there, man.Copy !req
373. Come on. It's open, man.Copy !req
374. - Hey, Strawberry.
- Strawberry's not here.Copy !req
375. Hey, it's a bird, man.
A bird is answering the door.Copy !req
376. What a trip.Copy !req
377. Hey, fella.Copy !req
378. Hey, Strawberry?Copy !req
379. Wanna get high? Wanna get high?Copy !req
380. Must've had a party here, man.Copy !req
381. Wanna get high?Copy !req
382. Wanna get high? Wanna get high?Copy !req
383. Hey, want something to eat, man?
They got some pizza.Copy !req
384. Strawberry?Copy !req
385. Strawberry?Copy !req
386. Hey, Strawberry?Copy !req
387. Oh, Strawberry.
Hey, what's happening, man?Copy !req
388. How you doing?Copy !req
389. Starbuck. Starbuck.Copy !req
390. - Pedro?
- Yeah, yeah, right. Pedro, man.Copy !req
391. This is my friend.Copy !req
392. Strawberry.Copy !req
393. Hey, how you doing, man?Copy !req
394. I'm doing, friend.Copy !req
395. Oh, yeah. Well, we were stopping byCopy !req
396. to see if we could score
some smoke, man.Copy !req
397. You know, we've been all over
the neighborhood, you know,Copy !req
398. and nobody's got none, you know?Copy !req
399. So, like, we was wonderingCopy !req
400. maybe if we could score
some smoke from you.Copy !req
401. - Smoke?
- Yeah.Copy !req
402. Smoke. You want some smoke?Copy !req
403. Yeah, I'll get you some smoke, man.Copy !req
404. All right. Yeah, we could score
some smoke from him.Copy !req
405. Yeah, I told you, man, we could.Copy !req
406. What you looking at, man?Copy !req
407. Oh, nothing. I wasn't looking.
I was just...Copy !req
408. - I wasn't looking at his neck, man.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
409. Your friend better stay here,Copy !req
410. 'cause we're going to go over
and see some people of mine,Copy !req
411. and they don't like strange dudes.Copy !req
412. They don't fuck around.Copy !req
413. - Well, I'll stay here.
- Yeah.Copy !req
414. Look at that, man.
The great outdoors, huh?Copy !req
415. - Yeah, great outdoors.
- Yeah.Copy !req
416. El roacho.Copy !req
417. God, it sure looks real.Copy !req
418. Who are you?Copy !req
419. Hey, how you doing?Copy !req
420. I spilled it. I made a mess.
I was just trying...Copy !req
421. Where have you been all my life?Copy !req
422. - We just come in...
- If you don't mind.Copy !req
423. It's not really...Copy !req
424. Jeez, I don't believe it.Copy !req
425. Oh, is that great?Copy !req
426. Wow, what a rush, huh?
What's that stuff like?Copy !req
427. Good shit.Copy !req
428. The freak with the top hat
and the tire is leavingCopy !req
429. - with a basketball.
- Cover the freak.Copy !req
430. He's covered.Copy !req
431. - Have the rest of the men stand by.
- Stand by.Copy !req
432. I think we're onto
something really big, Harry.Copy !req
433. This could be the bust
we've been waiting for.Copy !req
434. Right, Sarge.Copy !req
435. Zipping up.Copy !req
436. Claymores.Copy !req
437. - What?
- Claymores.Copy !req
438. Get me up past that last hutch there
and jettison me into the paddies.Copy !req
439. What are you talking
about paddies, man?Copy !req
440. Ain't no paddies.
They're just Chicanos, man.Copy !req
441. What are you talking about?Copy !req
442. Strike that line chatter, grunt.Copy !req
443. If you'd deploy a little recon,Copy !req
444. you'd see that
Charlie has us surrounded.Copy !req
445. Charlie? Oh, man. It's a cop.Copy !req
446. Strawberry, they're around
your pad, man.Copy !req
447. They're gonna bust your pad.Copy !req
448. Hey, Strawberry.Copy !req
449. Oh, man, are you flipped out
on one of your Vietnam trips, man?Copy !req
450. Hey, hold on to your thing, man.
God damn.Copy !req
451. Look, you take the point.
I'll take the rear.Copy !req
452. If you need air, call it in.Copy !req
453. Where you going? Hey, Strawberry.Copy !req
454. Oh, shit.Copy !req
455. Strawberry.Copy !req
456. Fuck.Copy !req
457. Shit.Copy !req
458. I better get that.Copy !req
459. - Hurry up.
- Yeah.Copy !req
460. - Hello?
- Hello?Copy !req
461. Hello.Copy !req
462. Hey, man, don't answer the phone
even if it's me calling.Copy !req
463. Man, I think it's bugged.Copy !req
464. Pedro?Copy !req
465. Yeah, this is Pedro. I mean, no.Copy !req
466. Hey, man, look, the house is being
raided, man. Get out of the house.Copy !req
467. Hey, Sarge. Listen to this.Copy !req
468. Did you get the weed?Copy !req
469. Hey, man, opscays. You hear, man?
Get outsky, man.Copy !req
470. Igpays. Igpays. Vamoose.Copy !req
471. Sounds very Latin.Copy !req
472. Could be the Mexican connection.
Better get this down.Copy !req
473. Hey, did you get the dope, man?Copy !req
474. Hurry back, man.
There's some joints around here.Copy !req
475. Hey, there's coke and everything, man.Copy !req
476. Pedro, the place is full of joints.
Come on back, man.Copy !req
477. This could be it, Harry.Copy !req
478. Pass the word along.Copy !req
479. Tell the men it's time
to shoot the moon.Copy !req
480. Shoot the moon!Copy !req
481. No, you idiot. Not out there.
On the microphone. On the microphone.Copy !req
482. Shoot the moon. Shoot the moon.Copy !req
483. Hello? Can't hear you, man.
Just a minute.Copy !req
484. Hello. Hey, Pedro? We get cut off?Copy !req
485. We really did get cut off.Copy !req
486. Hey. Hey. Hello?Copy !req
487. Shit, man.
How am I going to get him out of there?Copy !req
488. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
489. All right, freeze! This is a bust.
Party's over, folks. You, out.Copy !req
490. You, freak there with the red coat...
Not you.Copy !req
491. Don't swallow the dope.
We know you're holding.Copy !req
492. I knew this party was gonna be a drag.Copy !req
493. Just how well do you know
that freak with the basketball?Copy !req
494. - Which basketball?
- "Which basketball?"Copy !req
495. Hey, Sergeant, get a load of these two.Copy !req
496. What's her problem?Copy !req
497. Can't you see she's sick?Copy !req
498. - She's sick, all right.
- It's turning blue.Copy !req
499. Yeah? That's high-grade stuff.Copy !req
500. Could be Peruvian flake.Copy !req
501. That's right. Keep laughing, miss.
Just keep on laughing,Copy !req
502. but this is not a laughing matter.
This is serious. This is very serious.Copy !req
503. - This stuff destroys your mind.
- Can't you see she's sick?Copy !req
504. She's been through a lot
in a short period of time.Copy !req
505. She's all fucked up.Copy !req
506. You watch your language, miss.Copy !req
507. Harry, remember to get a lab sample
of this stuff.Copy !req
508. You have the right to remain silent.Copy !req
509. - If you refuse that right...
- Anything you say.Copy !req
510. anything you say
may be used against you...Copy !req
511. - Have you got the book?
- No, sir.Copy !req
512. used against you in a court of law.Copy !req
513. - Read the book.
- Thank you.Copy !req
514. - Jesus.
- All right.Copy !req
515. "You have the right to remain silent.
If you give that right up,Copy !req
516. "anything you say can be used
and will be used..."Copy !req
517. What's going on here?
Hey, who are you?Copy !req
518. Listen to me, you pervert. Sit down.Copy !req
519. Who are you?Copy !req
520. We're from the finance company, man.Copy !req
521. We came to reprocess
the furniture, man.Copy !req
522. That?Copy !req
523. Yeah. Well, you know, we gave them
a lot of chances to pay up, man,Copy !req
524. but they didn't pay up
and the boss says it's got to go, man.Copy !req
525. I'm just doing my job, man.Copy !req
526. No. Come on, it's my bowl.Copy !req
527. All right. Everybody out.
Move everybody out.Copy !req
528. - Murphy.
- That means you, buddy.Copy !req
529. - What the hell are you doing, Murphy?
- All right, move it out.Copy !req
530. All of you, come on. Get out. Let's go.
Get out of there.Copy !req
531. Everybody.Copy !req
532. - It's locked, man.
- What? Oh, yeah.Copy !req
533. Let go. Let go, man.Copy !req
534. Come on. Come on in.Copy !req
535. - Hey, what's going on, man?
- It's a bust, man.Copy !req
536. We got to figure out some way
to get you out of here, man. Shit.Copy !req
537. All right, freeze.
This is a bust. Strawberry.Copy !req
538. Single file. I wasn't looking at his neck.Copy !req
539. I wasn't looking at...Copy !req
540. No, man. The town's dry.
There ain't no dope nowhere, man.Copy !req
541. I got to pee.Copy !req
542. Hey, Pedro.Copy !req
543. - Hey, Pedro, my man.
- Hey, what's happening, Curtis?Copy !req
544. - What's going on?
- How you doing, man?Copy !req
545. Oh, I don't know.
Hey, holmes, this your ride?Copy !req
546. - Yeah.
- Wow.Copy !req
547. Yeah, I got it off
my cousin Johnny, man.Copy !req
548. This is your...
I mean, this bad low machine is yours?Copy !req
549. Yeah.Copy !req
550. Oh, Pedro, you got
a taste of soul to you, bro.Copy !req
551. - And style, too.
- Yeah, I hear you.Copy !req
552. Hey, now, you know what you need
to go with this bad ride?Copy !req
553. - A chick?
- No, baby. Check these out.Copy !req
554. - Knuckles?
- Genuine diamonds, baby.Copy !req
555. Those ain't for-real diamonds, man.Copy !req
556. What you... Hey, man.
Check this out. Step back.Copy !req
557. Ain't for real? Check this.Copy !req
558. Hey, man, what are you doing, man?
You scratched my window.Copy !req
559. You know, it's cool. It's cool.Copy !req
560. Hey, well, you know
what I do need, man?Copy !req
561. We been looking all over
for some smoke, man.Copy !req
562. Nobody has no grass, man.
You got some?Copy !req
563. Hey, man, I got some weed
straight from Turkey, boy.Copy !req
564. It's what set them Arabs off.Copy !req
565. - Arabs from Turkey?
- Yeah, man. Yeah, it was from Turkey.Copy !req
566. Hey, man, this stuff is so bad,
it'll put a hump in a camel's back.Copy !req
567. - No shit?
- I wouldn't shit you, baby.Copy !req
568. - I mean, this is some bad weed.
- You got it on you?Copy !req
569. I got it on me, man.
You got to check it out.Copy !req
570. - It'll boogie-woogie on your brain.
- All right.Copy !req
571. Just 'cause we tight,Copy !req
572. I'm going to let you have it
for a double dime.Copy !req
573. Man, that shit ain't shit, man.Copy !req
574. What?Copy !req
575. We smoked this whole lid, man,
and I haven't even got a buzz yet, man.Copy !req
576. You ain't high?Copy !req
577. I ain't high. I'll tell you that, man.
I don't feel nothing, man.Copy !req
578. Boys, my man Curtis sure came through
for us this time, didn't he, man?Copy !req
579. I'm annihilated, you know?Copy !req
580. - What?
- Get me a cookie.Copy !req
581. Juan, don't beg me, man.
Go in the kitchen, you know.Copy !req
582. You must get high on lawn clippings,
Jack, 'cause this ain't grass, man.Copy !req
583. - I'm telling you that.
- Oh, you guys is tripping, man.Copy !req
584. I told you, Curtis is our partner, man.
He came through for us, you know.Copy !req
585. Hey, if he sold you that, man,
I wouldn't want...Copy !req
586. - Hey. Hey, man, hide.
- What?Copy !req
587. Hide, man. It's a bust.Copy !req
588. Freeze, you chili-choking pepper belly.Copy !req
589. - One guy in the front room.
- I'll check the rooms on the left.Copy !req
590. All right, what do you got in here, lady?Copy !req
591. - Hey, man. Get the seeds.
- Who is it, man?Copy !req
592. - It's a bust, man. Get the seeds.
- Seeds?Copy !req
593. Why, man?
They can't bust you for seeds.Copy !req
594. Well, then just hide your face.Copy !req
595. - We ain't done nothing. There's no...
- It's a bust, man.Copy !req
596. We're clean.
There's no weed in the house.Copy !req
597. Hey, what's going on?Copy !req
598. - Oh, man. It's just the migra.
- Who?Copy !req
599. - Oh, I forgot. Shit.
- The migra?Copy !req
600. Yeah, they're looking for illegal aliens,
man. I forgot it's the wedding.Copy !req
601. - The wedding?
- Yeah.Copy !req
602. - So who are these guys?
- They're the immigration.Copy !req
603. You know, the migra, man.
They're going to deport these dudes.Copy !req
604. - Deport them?
- Yeah.Copy !req
605. See, what's happening is my cousin
is getting married down in TJ, man,Copy !req
606. so he calls the Immigration on himself.Copy !req
607. - But why?
- So he can get a free ride, man.Copy !req
608. See, they come down with a big old bus,
they take the whole wedding party down,Copy !req
609. - plus they even get fed lunch, man.
- Wow.Copy !req
610. So we're cool?Copy !req
611. Yeah. We got nothing to worry about,
man, unless you don't got a green card.Copy !req
612. Hello, Uncle Chuey? This is Pedro.Copy !req
613. Hey, man, we got deported.
We're down here in Tijuana right now.Copy !req
614. We need a way to get back.Copy !req
615. You got anything needs
to be picked up here?Copy !req
616. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
617. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on.Copy !req
618. Yeah?Copy !req
619. Okay. What's the address? 1811...Copy !req
620. Pedro.Copy !req
621. Hey. Hey, man. We got a ride.Copy !req
622. Wow, far out, man.Copy !req
623. Hey, my Uncle Chuey's got a vanCopy !req
624. we gotta smuggle back
across the border, man.Copy !req
625. - Hey, what are we smuggling?
- Upholstery, man.Copy !req
626. He's got an upholstery shop
in Beverly Hills,Copy !req
627. but he gets all the work done here, man,
'cause it's cheaper.Copy !req
628. The smuggling of marijuana
from Mexico into the United StatesCopy !req
629. has reached a dangerous high.Copy !req
630. The methods have become
unbelievably devious,Copy !req
631. and these are the seeds which may sow
the destruction of the human race.Copy !req
632. Gentlemen, I don't think
we need to commentCopy !req
633. on the seriousness of the situation.Copy !req
634. Harry, will you cool that?
Just stop that, Harry.Copy !req
635. Gentlemen, we are on the thresholdCopy !req
636. of copping one of the largest shipments
of marijuanaCopy !req
637. that has ever crossed
the Mexican borderCopy !req
638. into the United States.Copy !req
639. The question is, how are they going
to transport it across the border?Copy !req
640. - By boat.
- Carrier pigeon.Copy !req
641. - Plane.
- Freight.Copy !req
642. Piggyback.Copy !req
643. - Plaster casts.
- Long trucks.Copy !req
644. Long trucks.Copy !req
645. Let me show you.Copy !req
646. Inside TV sets.Copy !req
647. No, Harry. No, no, no.
Not inside TV sets.Copy !req
648. The TV set itself is the marijuana.Copy !req
649. The tube, the picture,
the aerial, the whole works.Copy !req
650. How can you make a TV set
out of marijuana?Copy !req
651. That's a good question, Harry.
I'll show you.Copy !req
652. Now, the weed is separated from seed.Copy !req
653. The weed is then
transformed into liquid.Copy !req
654. The liquid is then
acted upon by a chemicalCopy !req
655. which makes it hard like a plastic.Copy !req
656. The plastic is then
transformed into a spray.Copy !req
657. This spray, gentlemen,
is called fiberweed,Copy !req
658. and it's pure marijuana.Copy !req
659. Thanks to the efforts
of our undercover manCopy !req
660. inside the dope factory,
we have some very interesting facts.Copy !req
661. Now, that is quite a quantity
of marijuana, gentlemen.Copy !req
662. It is not a lid, it is not a kilo,
it is not a gram.Copy !req
663. Just how much do you think
is in this dope factory?Copy !req
664. A million pounds.Copy !req
665. - Harry?
- A shitload.Copy !req
666. Harry.Copy !req
667. What we do know
is that the dope factory is disguisedCopy !req
668. as an upholstery warehouse.Copy !req
669. Hey, this is the street, man. Come on.Copy !req
670. - How can you eat this stuff, man?
- I love them. Don't you like these?Copy !req
671. I told you not to buy it, man. God.Copy !req
672. What did you do that for, man?
I would have ate it.Copy !req
673. You never know what's in that stuff,
man. Could be a dog or something.Copy !req
674. - You got the address?
- Good dog, man.Copy !req
675. Hey!Copy !req
676. - Son of a...
- 181...Copy !req
677. Is that seven or a one? It looks seven.
Come on. Let's go check this place out.Copy !req
678. Hey, we're here to pick up the van, man.Copy !req
679. We're here to pick up the van.Copy !req
680. Have a seat.
The boss will be right back.Copy !req
681. Okay. The boss will be right back, man.
He's somewhere else.Copy !req
682. Those burritos, man.Copy !req
683. Hey, man, where's the bathroom?Copy !req
684. - Straight in the back.
- Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
685. Come on, cheeks, tighten up.Copy !req
686. Oh, God.Copy !req
687. Come on, cheeks, stay together.
Let's stay together.Copy !req
688. Come on, cheeks, stay together.Copy !req
689. Oh, God. I hope that was a fart.Copy !req
690. Oh, shit.Copy !req
691. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
692. What?Copy !req
693. Where's the toilet?Copy !req
694. Over there.Copy !req
695. Hey, excuse me. Where's the toilet?Copy !req
696. Thank you very much. Oh, shit.Copy !req
697. Oh, I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
698. Man, did you eat
one of them burritos, too, man?Copy !req
699. Supposed to eat
a little bit of ice cream with it.Copy !req
700. Come on, ice cream.Copy !req
701. Even though we do not know
what we are looking for,Copy !req
702. we do know the approximate value
of the weed itself.Copy !req
703. Gentlemen, I would like
to hear your opinions.Copy !req
704. A million?Copy !req
705. The television set alone
is worth close to a million.Copy !req
706. - A billion dollars.
- Now we're getting somewhere.Copy !req
707. I'm freezing at 200 million.Copy !req
708. - Sarge, I think it's four billion.
- You're all wrong.Copy !req
709. Nine billion big ones, boys.Copy !req
710. And you know what that means.Copy !req
711. The better the bust,Copy !req
712. - the bigger the boost.
- The bigger the boost.Copy !req
713. Excellent.Copy !req
714. Well, I guess that about wraps it up.Copy !req
715. Any questions?Copy !req
716. Where'd you learn how to
roll them big joints, man?Copy !req
717. Hey, you like that, man?Copy !req
718. They're heavy.Copy !req
719. Yeah, I used to be a roadie
for the Doobie Brothers, you know.Copy !req
720. What a groovy gig.Copy !req
721. Yeah. That's how
I learned to play drums.Copy !req
722. - Oh, yeah?
- Beating on the drums.Copy !req
723. Hey, I dig Mexico, man.Copy !req
724. I'd like to come back here
when we got more time.Copy !req
725. Oh, man, are we at the border already?Copy !req
726. Looks that way, man.Copy !req
727. Oh, shit.
Hey, man, well, get rid of the stuff, man.Copy !req
728. - Oh, yeah. Better get rid of this shit.
- Yeah, hurry up.Copy !req
729. Man, just put it down, man.
Get rid of it, man. Oh, shit.Copy !req
730. We're at the border, man.Copy !req
731. Shit.Copy !req
732. Lookit.Copy !req
733. Hey, get rid of it. Not that way, man.
Throw it out.Copy !req
734. Throw it out.Copy !req
735. This is Toyota Kawasaki,Copy !req
736. here at
the Mexican-United States border,Copy !req
737. where a huge task force
of narcotic and customs agentsCopy !req
738. is preparing a surprise welcomeCopy !req
739. for a vehicle
which they say is constructedCopy !req
740. entirely of high-grade marijuana.Copy !req
741. Don't make that face, man.
You make me laugh.Copy !req
742. Just let me do all the talking, man.
I got it.Copy !req
743. - Good afternoon, sisters.
- Good afternoon, Officer.Copy !req
744. How long have you been in Mexico?Copy !req
745. Okay. Just be cool.Copy !req
746. How long have you guys
been in Mexico?Copy !req
747. A week. I mean, a day.Copy !req
748. Which one is it, a week or a day?Copy !req
749. A weekday.Copy !req
750. You got any narcotics
or marijuana in here?Copy !req
751. Not anymore.Copy !req
752. You guys better step out of that van.Copy !req
753. - A fire.
- Oh, Sister, a fire.Copy !req
754. - I'm on fire.
- What is it?Copy !req
755. Hey, this looks like a bust. Hey.Copy !req
756. Get Stedenko on the phone right away.
This might be it.Copy !req
757. Hey, come on.
What have we got here, Sister?Copy !req
758. Hey, they're busting nuns, man.Copy !req
759. - Wow. That's cold-blooded.
- Hey, let's watch, okay?Copy !req
760. Okay. Up against the wall. All of you.Copy !req
761. Let's get up against the wall.Copy !req
762. Sergeant Stedenko,
exactly what are you looking for?Copy !req
763. Dope, drugs, weed, grass,
toot, smack, quackers,Copy !req
764. uppers, downers, all-arounders.
You name it, we want it.Copy !req
765. And how important is it to you
to apprehend the suspects?Copy !req
766. Critical.Copy !req
767. The buying and selling of dope
in this countryCopy !req
768. may be the last vestige
of free enterprise left.Copy !req
769. There's rumor, Sergeant,Copy !req
770. that the suspects might be
armed and dangerous.Copy !req
771. Do you expect to see any violence
here today?Copy !req
772. I certainly hope so.Copy !req
773. Sergeant, have you yourself
smoked marijuana?Copy !req
774. Only once.Copy !req
775. Hey, look, we're on TV, man.Copy !req
776. - Sergeant, telephone.
- Hi, Mom.Copy !req
777. - Sounds heavy.
- This could be it.Copy !req
778. - Why are the cops around here?
- Hey, well, let's find out, man.Copy !req
779. Yeah. Hey, listen, I got to go pee first.Copy !req
780. Okay. Don't go scuba diving.Copy !req
781. So it was a station wagon, huh, Harry?Copy !req
782. Very devious.Copy !req
783. They almost look like real nuns,
don't they, Harry?Copy !req
784. Right down to the stockings.Copy !req
785. Very clever. Very clever.Copy !req
786. Not bad.Copy !req
787. You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, you know that?Copy !req
788. Reminds me of a funny story
my dad used to tell me, Harry.Copy !req
789. The only kind of meat
a priest could eat on Friday was nun.Copy !req
790. Inside!Copy !req
791. Harry, get a sample of that car.Copy !req
792. Yes, Sergeant.Copy !req
793. Start the interrogation, Murphy.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
794. Hey, what's going on out there, man?Copy !req
795. Excuse me. What's going on out there?Copy !req
796. Don't worry about it, buddy. It's nothing.Copy !req
797. Just some people doing what they're
not supposed to be doing. That's all.Copy !req
798. Son of a bitch. Look at the...Copy !req
799. Some asshole pissed on my leg.Copy !req
800. Listen, our agent
just phoned from Mexico.Copy !req
801. It's not a bunch of nuns
in a station wagon.Copy !req
802. It's two hippies in a green van.Copy !req
803. Must be some heavy shit.Copy !req
804. Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
805. Get that siren up!Copy !req
806. Where would
these two creeps hang out?Copy !req
807. Where do hippies hang out today?Copy !req
808. Sunset Strip.
That's where they hang out.Copy !req
809. Yeah, we could try there.Copy !req
810. If they're not there,
we can go up to San Francisco.Copy !req
811. Imagine the field day
those two creeps are gonna haveCopy !req
812. when they find out
that van is made of grass, huh?Copy !req
813. I don't believe it.
I really don't believe it.Copy !req
814. You guys are supreme idiots.Copy !req
815. I mean, how could you
let a big, green vanCopy !req
816. slip right through your fingers?Copy !req
817. Spend one week at the border,
and what do we end up with?Copy !req
818. Busting a bevy of nuns,
a guy pisses on my leg,Copy !req
819. and I lose my special canine sentry dog.Copy !req
820. Best cop I ever knew.Copy !req
821. - See anything?
- Negative.Copy !req
822. Well, use mine. They're on the floor.Copy !req
823. Oh, yeah. These are great, Sergeant.
You can see everything.Copy !req
824. What do you see?Copy !req
825. You know,
there's a great donut shop up there.Copy !req
826. - Do you think we have time...
- No, no. I mean on the road.Copy !req
827. Wait a minute. There's the van.
There's the van.Copy !req
828. Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
829. Hey, listen, man,
when we get back to town,Copy !req
830. let's really get serious
about this group, okay?Copy !req
831. Yeah, really, man.Copy !req
832. Like, if we practice all the time,
rehearse, man,Copy !req
833. we could have a heavy band.Copy !req
834. Let's not let anything interfere
with our music this time.Copy !req
835. Yeah, that's right.
Hey, you see what I see, man?Copy !req
836. Yeah. Hey, they're hitchhiking, man.Copy !req
837. All right.Copy !req
838. There they go, Harry.
Keep your eye on them.Copy !req
839. Wonder what
they're doing way out here?Copy !req
840. I don't know, but here comes
the Mounties to the rescue.Copy !req
841. Holy...Copy !req
842. Turn around, Harry. They're over there.Copy !req
843. Keep your eye on them, Harry.
Keep your eye on them.Copy !req
844. Hey, man, you know how to drive, man?Copy !req
845. - Sort of. Why?
- Take over, man.Copy !req
846. Hey, what are you doing, man?Copy !req
847. - Hi, ladies.
- Hey.Copy !req
848. - Hey, après-vous, all of you.
- Thanks.Copy !req
849. There you go. Watch your step.Copy !req
850. I'll watch everything else.Copy !req
851. Hey, what's happening?Copy !req
852. - How far are you going, man?
- All the way.Copy !req
853. All right. We're going there ourselves.
Come on over.Copy !req
854. - There they go, Harry. There they go.
- I see them. I see them.Copy !req
855. - Shoot their tires out.
- Got it.Copy !req
856. - No, not yours. Use my gun.
- Thanks, Sarge.Copy !req
857. Oh, my God.Copy !req
858. Damn it. You stupid idiot.
Look, you idiot.Copy !req
859. You are a stupid, stupid man.
Get over here, Harry.Copy !req
860. Get over here. Give me that gun.Copy !req
861. When I think of the time and the money
I've wasted on your training,Copy !req
862. and you still turn out to be
a blithering idiot.Copy !req
863. You're an utter failure.
You make me sick!Copy !req
864. Have you anything to say for yourself?
In the car!Copy !req
865. God, I will never, ever, neverCopy !req
866. take a bald-headed man
in the department again.Copy !req
867. Wow. This is a neat van.Copy !req
868. Yeah. Want to see the rest of it?Copy !req
869. - Okay. Sure.
- Yeah?Copy !req
870. Oh, hey. We'll go right back there.
The rest of it is right back there.Copy !req
871. Go ahead. Hey, watch your step.
Yeah. There you go.Copy !req
872. Yeah, right back there.Copy !req
873. Hey, have fun at Magic Mountains.Copy !req
874. Oh, yeah. I see London, I see France.Copy !req
875. If I ain't out in three weeks, man,
send a search party.Copy !req
876. Hey, hold on. Don't start without me.Copy !req
877. Do you want to do a lude?Copy !req
878. - You got ludes?
- No, I don't have any ludes.Copy !req
879. I wish I had ludes.Copy !req
880. I thought you said you had some.Copy !req
881. No, I don't have some.
I do, but I don't have enough.Copy !req
882. Oh, right. All right.Copy !req
883. I wish I had some, you know.Copy !req
884. I love a manly chest.Copy !req
885. Yeah. So do I. I mean, on a girl.Copy !req
886. Attention, all units. Attention,
all units. This is Sergeant Stedenko.Copy !req
887. Attention, all units.
This is Sergeant Stedenko.Copy !req
888. We are changing from a code 3,
direct pursuit, to a code 347.Copy !req
889. Completely lost due to incompetence.Copy !req
890. Hey, man, you know
where these chicks are going?Copy !req
891. They're going to the Roxy, man.Copy !req
892. They're having a battle
of the bands there, man.Copy !req
893. Debbie was telling me all about it.Copy !req
894. You know, they're gonna have
all these bands, man,Copy !req
895. and the winner gets a record contract.Copy !req
896. - A battle of the bands?
- Yeah.Copy !req
897. Oh, it's like the best thing in the world.
We're going thereCopy !req
898. and everyone's going to be there
and everything.Copy !req
899. Yeah. The winner gets a record
contract with real records, man.Copy !req
900. You know, that's not going to mean dick
unless they promote you, you know.Copy !req
901. But we could get our band in it, man.
We could enter.Copy !req
902. We could win it, man, and it's $100, too.Copy !req
903. We couldn't enter it.
We don't even know any tunes yet, man.Copy !req
904. What do you mean, man?
We had two rehearsals, man.Copy !req
905. Besides, it's just punk rock, man.Copy !req
906. You know, you don't have to
know how to play.Copy !req
907. All you just got to do is be a punk, man.
We could do that.Copy !req
908. - Well, we got to get loaded first, though.
- Yeah, we should get loaded.Copy !req
909. We need some smoke, man.
Jeez, we need to score a lid.Copy !req
910. Why don't you just stop,
and I'll call Gloria.Copy !req
911. - Who's Gloria?
- Who's Gloria?Copy !req
912. Hi. You're looking good.Copy !req
913. You want to go,
like, powder our noses, you know?Copy !req
914. Anyway, like, I want to
talk some business, okay?Copy !req
915. Yeah. I got the powder, all right.Copy !req
916. She's got the best stuff, I'm telling you.
She cuts it herself.Copy !req
917. Boy, she can bust me anytime.Copy !req
918. You should see her summer whites.Copy !req
919. In here.Copy !req
920. Wow. That's heavy.Copy !req
921. Yeah, man, but I bet a lot of cops
smoke dope now, you know.Copy !req
922. No, I mean, look at that, man.
Looks like a radio station.Copy !req
923. The request lines are now open,
KGFJ soul radio.Copy !req
924. Do it now, man.Copy !req
925. Request lines are now...Copy !req
926. It's open, man.Copy !req
927. Go ahead. Go ahead. Say something.Copy !req
928. All right, Officer Clyde,
contact headquartersCopy !req
929. and give them our present location.Copy !req
930. And then I'm going
to take off your dress.Copy !req
931. And then I'm going to take off your bra.Copy !req
932. And then I'm going to
take off your shoes.Copy !req
933. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
Can you hear me?Copy !req
934. Hello, headquarters?
Hello, headquarters?Copy !req
935. Come in, headquarters.Copy !req
936. This is Officer Clyde.Copy !req
937. Use the code name. The code name.Copy !req
938. Headquarters.
Headquarters, come in, please.Copy !req
939. This is code name Hard Head.Copy !req
940. Hat. Hard Hat. Give me that.Copy !req
941. Hello, radio dispatch?
This is code name Hard Hat.Copy !req
942. Code name Hard Hat.
Do you read me? Over.Copy !req
943. What's that, lard ass?Copy !req
944. Hard Hat. Code name Hard Hat.
Do you read, radio dispatch?Copy !req
945. Hey, got something for you, lard ass.Copy !req
946. Hard Hat. Hard Hat.
Do you understand?Copy !req
947. Lard ass. Lard ass.Copy !req
948. Hard Hat.Copy !req
949. Radio dispatch, do you know
who this is?Copy !req
950. No. Who is "this is"?Copy !req
951. This is Sergeant Stedenko.Copy !req
952. Oh, yeah? You know who this is?Copy !req
953. No.Copy !req
954. Bye-bye, lard ass.Copy !req
955. Attention, headquarters.
Attention, headquarters.Copy !req
956. This is code name Lard...Copy !req
957. This is code name Hard Hat.
Code name Hard Hat.Copy !req
958. Any sighting within the last half hour?Copy !req
959. - They burned the stash they had.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
960. Yeah. Can you believe it?
They burned the whole thing yesterday.Copy !req
961. Oh, no.Copy !req
962. Yeah, but they're expecting
a new one from Tijuana.Copy !req
963. - I was in Tijuana once.
- It's supposed to be worthCopy !req
964. millions and millions of dollars.Copy !req
965. The cops are out looking for it now.Copy !req
966. - Jesus, I hope they find it.
- Me, too. Look, if they find it,Copy !req
967. you want to set aside some lids for me?Copy !req
968. Well, you can believe that.
We'll have a party.Copy !req
969. Why don't we just, like, split, okay?Copy !req
970. Glo, see you.Copy !req
971. You want me to give
your number to that guy, let me know.Copy !req
972. Sure do, hey. Take care.Copy !req
973. - Bye-bye.
- I can't believeCopy !req
974. - that they burned all the smoke.
- See you.Copy !req
975. Hey, I got to go to the bathroom.
I'll meet you guys outside, okay?Copy !req
976. Oh, okay.Copy !req
977. Hey, holmes.Copy !req
978. Come on, man.Copy !req
979. Sometimes when you got to go
really bad,Copy !req
980. you can't, you know?Copy !req
981. Come on, man.
You wanted to go out there.Copy !req
982. I'll put you back in the closet.Copy !req
983. I think he's got stage fright, man.
Come on, man.Copy !req
984. Yeah. That's the one.Copy !req
985. Oh, hey, man.
Thanks an awful lot, man.Copy !req
986. Hey. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
987. - Come on. Look at... Hey.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
988. Hey, come back... Jesus.Copy !req
989. Hey, everybody be quiet.
I'm calling home.Copy !req
990. Hello. Who's this?Copy !req
991. James. Man, hey, listen.
We got a gig at the Roxy, man.Copy !req
992. So, get the guys, okay?Copy !req
993. All right, man.
Be sure to be there and don't be late.Copy !req
994. All right. See you later.
All right. It's together, man.Copy !req
995. We're going to be there, man.Copy !req
996. We're going to take this battle
of the bands. We're gonna do it, man.Copy !req
997. Does this show?Copy !req
998. Yeah, they sure do.Copy !req
999. No. I mean this, this spot.Copy !req
1000. Let's see. Yeah, a little bit.
Here, I'll take it out for you.Copy !req
1001. - Will you?
- Yeah. Sure. Just take it off.Copy !req
1002. Oh, great.Copy !req
1003. Just stay here.
I'll just do it to here, okay?Copy !req
1004. Oh, hey, hey, no, man.
Now get in the back.Copy !req
1005. Get in the back. Get in the back.
Get in the back.Copy !req
1006. - Okay.
- Get in the back.Copy !req
1007. Jeez. Jesus.Copy !req
1008. Hey, Pedro? Pedro?Copy !req
1009. What's the matter?Copy !req
1010. - Pedro.
- You still like me, don't you?Copy !req
1011. - Pedro, come here, man.
- He is so sweet, you know?Copy !req
1012. Pedro, get out here, man.Copy !req
1013. Man, where'd you learn
how to drive, man?Copy !req
1014. Hey, man, we got stopped by the cops,
man. I don't have a driver's license.Copy !req
1015. Oh shit. Man, why didn't you tell me that
when you started driving?Copy !req
1016. Well, never mind that, man.
What are we going to do?Copy !req
1017. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1018. Well, here, change places with me,
man. Come on.Copy !req
1019. - I don't think he's seen us.
- No, no. Sit down.Copy !req
1020. Got my leg caught. Just...
I've got my legs caught.Copy !req
1021. Man, like, get over, man.Copy !req
1022. What do you guys want?Copy !req
1023. Nothing.Copy !req
1024. You mind if I have a bite of
your hot dog?Copy !req
1025. Oh, yeah. Yeah, man.
You can have the whole thing.Copy !req
1026. - Yeah.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1027. Want some Fritos?Copy !req
1028. No. This is fine.Copy !req
1029. Thank you.Copy !req
1030. Hey, you guys have a nice day.Copy !req
1031. Thank you.Copy !req
1032. - Hey, man.
- What?Copy !req
1033. You're squashing my nuts.Copy !req
1034. Hey, did that really happen?Copy !req
1035. What was that dude's trip, man?Copy !req
1036. I thought we were going to get busted
for sure, man.Copy !req
1037. - Just a minute. It might be a trick, man.
- Okay. Well, sit there and be cool.Copy !req
1038. I've got to... Shit.Copy !req
1039. Look at him, man.Copy !req
1040. I wonder what he's been smoking.Copy !req
1041. Well, whatever it is,
I wish we had some, man.Copy !req
1042. - No kidding.
- Wow, man, look, man,Copy !req
1043. we got to score some before we go on.Copy !req
1044. - Yeah, but where, man?
- I don't know, man.Copy !req
1045. There's got to be somebody in this town
that's got a lot of smoke.Copy !req
1046. Yeah.Copy !req
1047. She was, like, nuts.Copy !req
1048. You could always tell
if she was in the hotelCopy !req
1049. balling her old man, you know.Copy !req
1050. Like, everyone would be dozing off,
and all of a sudden she'd start up.Copy !req
1051. First you'd hear it,
it would start like, you know...Copy !req
1052. But then she'd, like, really get going,
and she'd be more like, you know...Copy !req
1053. You know, and she'd start going
like a motorboat, you know?Copy !req
1054. "Fuck me, Alex."Copy !req
1055. Her boyfriend's name was Alex.Copy !req
1056. You know, "Fuck me.Copy !req
1057. "Fuck me.Copy !req
1058. "Fuck me, Alex.Copy !req
1059. "Fuck me, Alex.Copy !req
1060. "Fuck me, Alex. Fuck me, Alex."Copy !req
1061. Oh, I got a cramp. No, no.
I got a cramp.Copy !req
1062. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1063. - Oh, God. I got a cramp.
- Yeah. That's just like it, man.Copy !req
1064. - You're doing good.
- Oh, shit, oh.Copy !req
1065. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- No. No. No.Copy !req
1066. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- No. No.Copy !req
1067. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1068. - There.
- Oh, yeah. That's just like it.Copy !req
1069. - Oh, shit.
- Then she'd have, like, two tears...Copy !req
1070. Oh, it's better. It's out. It's out.
It's better.Copy !req
1071. That feels better. Oh, God.Copy !req
1072. Shit. I need some air.Copy !req
1073. Right on, man.Copy !req
1074. - I didn't know your name was Alex, man.
- Oh, I got a cramp.Copy !req
1075. Shit, I'd have a cramp there, too, man.Copy !req
1076. What's going on out here?Copy !req
1077. Hey, hey. You don't even know
where you're going. Wait for me.Copy !req
1078. Come on. Make way for the new king.
God damn, you're a star, man.Copy !req
1079. Go ahead. After you, King Salami.Copy !req
1080. They're going to be sorry.Copy !req
1081. Like, I know where
the best dressing room is.Copy !req
1082. Hey, you know what I'm talking about?Copy !req
1083. So, the next day, he comes up to me
and he says, "You know,Copy !req
1084. "thanks for being there.
Like, you saved my life."Copy !req
1085. - You know?
- Just like Cher.Copy !req
1086. I don't care what people think about meCopy !req
1087. Hey, man, what are you doing?
Come on, man. Get it together.Copy !req
1088. We got to be on
in two more bands, man.Copy !req
1089. Hey, come on, man. Come on.Copy !req
1090. You ought to hear
what these other groups are into, man.Copy !req
1091. These cats are
into something heavy, man.Copy !req
1092. Look, I've been writing this new song.
Listen to this, man.Copy !req
1093. Mama talking to me
Trying to tell me how to liveCopy !req
1094. And then it goes...Copy !req
1095. 'Cause I don't listen to her
'Cause my head is like a sieveCopy !req
1096. Then it goes...Copy !req
1097. Hey, man, are you awake?Copy !req
1098. I don't feel so good, man.Copy !req
1099. Come on, man. We're on in...
Did you give him some pills?Copy !req
1100. Yeah, I gave him some pills,
but I gave him ups.Copy !req
1101. Shit, man. Come on.Copy !req
1102. Hey, how many fingers you see?Copy !req
1103. I think I fucked up.Copy !req
1104. Oh, shit.
Anybody got any coffee or anything?Copy !req
1105. I got a popper.Copy !req
1106. We could either, like, you know,
party later or try to start his heart.Copy !req
1107. I had known. Get up.Copy !req
1108. Come on. Now, get up.Copy !req
1109. - Watch where you're going!
- The record person is waiting.Copy !req
1110. Look, do what you want,
but don't die, you know?Copy !req
1111. That's what's really important,
like, not dying, you know?Copy !req
1112. You know what I'm saying?Copy !req
1113. While I got you here, you know,
I was thinking,Copy !req
1114. maybe we should have
some paper between us,Copy !req
1115. because, like, in this business
a handshake doesn't mean dick.Copy !req
1116. Everybody into the van. Hurry. Hurry.Copy !req
1117. Come on.Copy !req
1118. - Murphy, hide. Harry, Luke, come on.
- Look at all these freaks.Copy !req
1119. There's one of them.Copy !req
1120. You know, I'm just telling you,
because I feel responsible.Copy !req
1121. You know what I mean?
Like, you gotta get it together.Copy !req
1122. Get your whole gig together.
Everything, you know?Copy !req
1123. I want to be like me.Copy !req
1124. Like, I have my own special way
of looking and dressing.Copy !req
1125. That's me.
No one can take it away from me.Copy !req
1126. Ladies and gentlemen, Taurus.Copy !req
1127. Piss off!Copy !req
1128. That's right, boys. Everybody in, boys.
All the way down.Copy !req
1129. All the way down. That's right, boys.
We want to talk to you boysCopy !req
1130. about joining your order.Copy !req
1131. What size sheet do you wear?Copy !req
1132. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Can we see some tickets, guys?Copy !req
1133. We don't need tickets. We are
brothers of the faith, Kemo Sabe.Copy !req
1134. We don't need tickets to walk with love
in the world.Copy !req
1135. We have a message
for the people inside.Copy !req
1136. We gotta see some tickets.
We gotta see tickets.Copy !req
1137. All right.
We are not brothers of the faith.Copy !req
1138. - We are police officers.
- Sorry, man. You got to have tickets.Copy !req
1139. - Let's have some tickets, let's go.
- "Let's have some tickets"?Copy !req
1140. No. That is a gun. That is not a ticket.Copy !req
1141. Did you bring the ID? Where's the ID?
All right, get the ID.Copy !req
1142. We have got to get in here right now.
This is very important.Copy !req
1143. Hey, Sarge. The van. The van.Copy !req
1144. The van!Copy !req
1145. Hey, no wonder
Anita Bryant's pissed off.Copy !req
1146. Hey. Hey. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Hey, you.Copy !req
1147. - Hey, listen, wait a minute.
- Where are you taking this tow truck?Copy !req
1148. - Yeah.
- Where are you going with our van?Copy !req
1149. Take a walk.Copy !req
1150. What do you mean, take a walk?
Who are you?Copy !req
1151. Hey, wait a minute. Who owns this van?Copy !req
1152. - Who are you, anyway?
- Sergeant Stedenko.Copy !req
1153. Sergeant Stedenko. What van?Copy !req
1154. - What do you mean, what van?
- Let's see some ID here.Copy !req
1155. - Show him your ID.
- Hold it right there.Copy !req
1156. Hold it right there. Come back here.Copy !req
1157. Tell him we didn't do nothing.
We didn't do nothing.Copy !req
1158. - You didn't do a damn thing, did you?
- No.Copy !req
1159. - Back up.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.Copy !req
1160. Hey, you know who he is?
Tell him who you are, boss.Copy !req
1161. Benny, will you shut up.
I'm gonna tell my...Copy !req
1162. All right.
We got to call the paddy wagon.Copy !req
1163. - Affirmative. I'll notify headquarters.
- I can't believe this.Copy !req
1164. Moving right along,
we don't know who they are,Copy !req
1165. but here's Alice Bowie.Copy !req
1166. So, you better be good.Copy !req
1167. Look, but I'm not just in it
for the money. I really like it.Copy !req
1168. Hi. Hi. Jade East.Copy !req
1169. You're the worst.Copy !req
1170. You guys really had
a scheme going, didn't you?Copy !req
1171. Thought you'd get away
with it, huh? Yeah.Copy !req
1172. Almost $9 billion.Copy !req
1173. Nine billion big ones
to help diseased young mindsCopy !req
1174. with marijuana, smack,
toot, quackers, you name it.Copy !req
1175. Sarge, the wagons are on their way.Copy !req
1176. Do you realize that this is the bust?Copy !req
1177. This is the one
that's gonna send me right to the top.Copy !req
1178. Nail it down, man. Nail it down.Copy !req
1179. - Harry?
- What?Copy !req
1180. Are you sure
you talked to headquarters?Copy !req
1181. They said they were on their way. Relax.Copy !req
1182. How about a cheeseburger?Copy !req
1183. No. A sundae.Copy !req
1184. - Hot fudge?
- Hot fudge sundae.Copy !req
1185. With some whipped cream on top, nuts.Copy !req
1186. - They're anchovies.
- Good. Thanks.Copy !req
1187. - How many pieces have you had?
- I'll buy you something to eat.Copy !req
1188. - You are stoned.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1189. Yes, you are very, very stoned.
Look at this.Copy !req
1190. Sick. You've got food
all over your uniform.Copy !req
1191. You've got no self-control whatsoever.Copy !req
1192. Come on, man. Let's do it.Copy !req
1193. Do something.Copy !req
1194. All right. You guys ready to jam?Copy !req
1195. All right, here we go.
One, two, three. Yeah.Copy !req
1196. My mama talking to me
Trying to tell me how to liveCopy !req
1197. But I won't listen to her
because my head is like a sieveCopy !req
1198. My daddy, he disowned me
'cause I wear my sister's clothesCopy !req
1199. He caught me in the bathroom
with a pair of pantyhoseCopy !req
1200. My basketball coach
He done kicked me off the teamCopy !req
1201. For wearing high-heeled sneakers
and acting like a queenCopy !req
1202. Why don't you guys admit it?
You got the munchies.Copy !req
1203. The munchies, right?Copy !req
1204. I've never been so disgusted
in all my life.Copy !req
1205. You're a disgrace to the force.
You've let me down, boys.Copy !req
1206. Harry, are you understanding me?
I am stoned. I am stoned.Copy !req
1207. So go with it.Copy !req
1208. - Put it in your sundae.
- Go with it? Get away from...Copy !req
1209. You tell me to go with it?Copy !req
1210. You almost botch up
the entire operation,Copy !req
1211. you lose my best dog,
two guys piss on my leg,Copy !req
1212. I'm on the verge of a total pig-out
and you tell me to go with it?Copy !req
1213. I'll go with it!Copy !req
1214. Go with it. Go with it.Copy !req
1215. I'm so bloody rich.Copy !req
1216. I own apartment buildings
and shopping centers.Copy !req
1217. I only know three chords.Copy !req
1218. You fools.Copy !req
1219. More. More. More. More. More. More.Copy !req
1220. More, more, more.Copy !req
1221. My mama talking to me
Trying to tell me how to liveCopy !req
1222. Wow. Did you hear that crowd, man?Copy !req
1223. They gave us a standing ovation, man.Copy !req
1224. We're going to have a bad band.Copy !req
1225. Wow, we had them eating
right out of their hands.Copy !req
1226. We're going to be big, man,
really big, man.Copy !req
1227. We're gonna, like, be bigger than
Ruben and the Jets, man, I bet you.Copy !req
1228. Shoot. All we got to do is
keep practicing, man,Copy !req
1229. you know, like, just keep it together.Copy !req
1230. I feel good, man. I wish we could have
had something to celebrate, man.Copy !req
1231. You got a joint or anything?Copy !req
1232. - Hey.
- What?Copy !req
1233. We getting pulled over?Copy !req
1234. I just remembered, man.
I got some hash.Copy !req
1235. Oh, yeah? Well, fire it up, holmes.
All right.Copy !req
1236. Hey, I need a pin or something.Copy !req
1237. Oh, there's a pin right here
on my tutu, man.Copy !req
1238. Hey, be brave
and be sure to remind me,Copy !req
1239. we gotta take those back
or we'll get charged for an extra day.Copy !req
1240. Forgot all about this, man.Copy !req
1241. We're gonna be a big band, man.
We're going to have a limo, man,Copy !req
1242. and food backstage, man, everything.Copy !req
1243. Yeah, we need a manager, though.
That's the only thing.Copy !req
1244. My cousin.Copy !req
1245. He doesn't have a job, man.
We'll make him the manager.Copy !req
1246. Besides that, he's got a van, too, man.
It'll be heavy. Yeah.Copy !req
1247. We gonna be the heaviest dudes, man.Copy !req
1248. Get all new instruments,
man, everything, man.Copy !req
1249. All right. What's this?Copy !req
1250. - I think it's hash.
- It doesn't look like much, man.Copy !req
1251. - Where'd it go?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1252. Hey, watch the road, man.Copy !req
1253. - Oh, shit.
- Hey, hey! Watch the road!Copy !req
1254. Oh, shit. Hey, man,
you dropped it in my lap, man.Copy !req
1255. So I roll un bomberCopy !req
1256. - Well, stop the car.
- Reach your hand down there.Copy !req
1257. - Stop the car. Here.
- Get it, get it.Copy !req
1258. un buen toqueCopy !req
1259. Y después I chokeCopy !req
1260. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1261. Y todos mis cares go up in smokeCopy !req
1262. Come on, let's go get highCopy !req
1263. Up in smokeCopy !req
1264. That's where I want to beCopy !req
1265. 'Cause when I'm highCopy !req
1266. The world below don't bother meCopy !req
1267. When life begins to beCopy !req
1268. one long and dangerous roadCopy !req
1269. I take a tokeCopy !req
1270. And all my cares go up in smokeCopy !req
1271. All the timeCopy !req
1272. But I say arrebataCopy !req
1273. All the gustos you can findCopy !req
1274. Porque all of the timeCopy !req
1275. Get high timeCopy !req
1276. Come on, let's go get highCopy !req
1277. Up in smokeCopy !req
1278. That's where I want to beCopy !req
1279. 'Cause when I'm highCopy !req
1280. The world below don't bother meCopy !req
1281. When life begins to beCopy !req
1282. One long and dangerous roadCopy !req
1283. I take a tokeCopy !req
1284. And all my cares go up in smokeCopy !req
1285. I take a tokeCopy !req
1286. And all my cares go up in smokeCopy !req