1. On his 35th birthday...Copy !req
2. I decided to tell
Julius Benedict...Copy !req
3. The truth about himself.Copy !req
4. Julius already knew
that he was the product...Copy !req
5. Of a scientific experiment...Copy !req
6. Conducted by
the American government.Copy !req
7. A top-secret experiment designed
to produce a physically...Copy !req
8. Mentally and spiritually
advanced human being.Copy !req
9. He knew that,
unlike other little boys...Copy !req
10. He had not one, but six fathers-Copy !req
11. all very distinguished men...Copy !req
12. Especially chosen for
their genetic excellence.Copy !req
13. And of course...Copy !req
14. He knew about
Mary Ann Benedict...Copy !req
15. The remarkable young woman...Copy !req
16. Who was selected
to be his mother.Copy !req
17. Sadly, he had long lived
with the tragic knowledge...Copy !req
18. That his mother died
while giving birth to him.Copy !req
19. Now, what Julius did not know...Copy !req
20. Not until this very moment...Copy !req
21. Was that about a minute
after he was born...Copy !req
22. His mother gave birth
to another baby boy.Copy !req
23. I have a brother?Copy !req
24. Ya.Copy !req
25. He was sent to an
orphanage in Los Angeles...Copy !req
26. At the same time I brought
you here to the island.Copy !req
27. Julius had spent his entire life
here on the island...Copy !req
28. Helping me with my research.Copy !req
29. I always thought he was happy,
and had no desire to leave.Copy !req
30. How wrong I was.Copy !req
31. I must find him.Copy !req
32. Julius, Julius! Wait, wait.Copy !req
33. I couldn't believe he was going.Copy !req
34. He wasn't equipped to deal
with the outside world.Copy !req
35. All of his knowledge was from books.Copy !req
36. Julius could speak 12 languages.Copy !req
37. He excelled in history, science...Copy !req
38. Mathematics, literature.Copy !req
39. He was pure in body and in spirit.Copy !req
40. Ahhh!Copy !req
41. But for the first time...Copy !req
42. Julius would not listen to me.Copy !req
43. He's probably just like me.Copy !req
44. The nearest island with
an airport was 27 Miles away.Copy !req
45. But Julius did not care.Copy !req
46. He had become obsessed
with the idea...Copy !req
47. That his brother, Vincent,
was in some kind of trouble...Copy !req
48. And desperately needed his help.Copy !req
49. Honey, I'm home!Copy !req
50. - Oh, no!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
51. - Get going!
- I'm going.Copy !req
52. Oh, hello, hello!Copy !req
53. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
54. Goodbye.Copy !req
55. - We're gonna be late for work.
- I need my horoscope.Copy !req
56. - Yeah, horoscope.
- "Your judgment is at its peak today."Copy !req
57. Use it wisely,
and romance will follow."Copy !req
58. - Ooh, good one.
- I hope so.Copy !req
59. Ladies!Copy !req
60. - Vince!
- I thought you broke up with him.Copy !req
61. I did, I did!Copy !req
62. You don't mind if I talk
to your sister, do you?Copy !req
63. She doesn't mind.Copy !req
64. Don't give him any money.Copy !req
65. Uh, no, no, I promised marnie
I wouldn't give you any money.Copy !req
66. Don't look at me like-Copy !req
67. don't do that thing
with your eyes.Copy !req
68. I'm not even supposed
to be here with you.Copy !req
69. You are here, and so am I.Copy !req
70. Maybe millions
of people go by...Copy !req
71. But they all
disappear from view.Copy !req
72. I only have eyes for you, Linda.Copy !req
73. I only have eyes for you.Copy !req
74. Mmm.Copy !req
75. - It's the baby klane!
- What?Copy !req
76. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
77. - Can I help you?
- Uh, yeah.Copy !req
78. Where's the little shit?Copy !req
79. You'll have to be
more specific...Copy !req
80. Concerning the clientele.Copy !req
81. Benedict.Copy !req
82. Oh, he wouldn't come in here.Copy !req
83. - Isn't that right, marnie?
- Who, Vincent?Copy !req
84. That weasei? That creep?Copy !req
85. I wouldn't serve him if he crawled in
on his hands and knees.Copy !req
86. I knew you were trouble
the second I laid eyes on you.Copy !req
87. Excuse me. I just have never
heard this kind of music before.Copy !req
88. thank you.Copy !req
89. hey, Vince!Copy !req
90. Listen, Al... You
gotta help me out.Copy !req
91. I'm into the klane
brothers for $20,000.Copy !req
92. - You borrowed money from a loan shark?
- What do you got?Copy !req
93. Got anything for me?
See what you got.Copy !req
94. We're doing this
too often, Vince.Copy !req
95. I'll give you something.Copy !req
96. I got a nice BMW
up on 4, stall 20.Copy !req
97. Vince, I'll take all
of these you can get.Copy !req
98. All right, Tony.Copy !req
99. - For you.
- Thanks, Tony.Copy !req
100. Yeah.Copy !req
101. Whoa, Tony!Copy !req
102. There's only $4000 here.
For a car like this is $6000.Copy !req
103. We're in a recession.
Everything's tough.Copy !req
104. You wanna try someone else,
no hard feelings.Copy !req
105. No, I just could've
used some more.Copy !req
106. - You okay, Vince? You seem worried.
- Yeah.Copy !req
107. Your bowels troubling you?Copy !req
108. What an amazing country.Copy !req
109. Hey.Copy !req
110. Gotta light, pai?Copy !req
111. Oh, excuse me.
I don't smoke, pal.Copy !req
112. Yeah. Ha-ha.Copy !req
113. Yeah, good stuff, huh?Copy !req
114. - Pickin' up something for the girlfriend?
- I don't have a girlfriend.Copy !req
115. Do women really
wear those things?Copy !req
116. If you're lucky, they do.Copy !req
117. I can't believe it.Copy !req
118. - You're from out of town?
- Yes.Copy !req
119. As a matter of fact, I come from
an island in the South pacific.Copy !req
120. Whoa!Copy !req
121. What the hell did
you do to him, man!Copy !req
122. I did nothing.
The pavement was his enemy.Copy !req
123. Let me check him out.
A light concussion.Copy !req
124. Uh-oh.Copy !req
125. - I carry him to a hospital.
- No!Copy !req
126. I think you should
just take off, man.Copy !req
127. Find your horse you came in on.Copy !req
128. I'm so sorry about this.Copy !req
129. - I feei terrible.
- Me, too. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
130. - Sorry.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.Copy !req
131. The next time you should
really consider wearing helmets.Copy !req
132. Yeah, have a nice day.Copy !req
133. You don't have to buy them.
Just don't say they're cheap!Copy !req
134. These are quality socks.Copy !req
135. What a day it's been.
Oh, no, no, no!Copy !req
136. Oh, oh! Jesus Christ!Copy !req
137. $53! Are you out of your mind?Copy !req
138. Your vehicle is in a handicapped zone,
if you didn't notice.Copy !req
139. So, do I look normai to you?Copy !req
140. You don't have a handicapped
sticker in your windshield.Copy !req
141. Oh, come on.
You don't need a sticker.Copy !req
142. Handicapped, my ass!Copy !req
143. I'll need your
driver's license, sir.Copy !req
144. Look, I'm sorry
I lost my temper.Copy !req
145. Driver's license, please.Copy !req
146. - Look, I had a very bad day.
- Driver's license... please.Copy !req
147. You've got over 200 outstanding
parking tickets, mr Benedict.Copy !req
148. You just had your birthday.
Your driver's license expired.Copy !req
149. Happy Birthday. Watch your head.Copy !req
150. Thanks.Copy !req
151. Come along, now.Copy !req
152. So this is where
my brother grew up.Copy !req
153. I'm so happy he had so many
children to play with.Copy !req
154. And that's where
he must have slept!Copy !req
155. Yes, it was.Copy !req
156. How did you know?Copy !req
157. It's the one I'd have chosen,
close to the fire extinguisher.Copy !req
158. In case of a fire...Copy !req
159. I could have given the alarm
and saved all the other orphans.Copy !req
160. We've had only one fire
in here at St. Charlotte's.Copy !req
161. Vince Benedict started it,
we like to think by accident.Copy !req
162. Tell me a little bit
about Vincent.Copy !req
163. Was he a great athlete?
Interested in chess and poetry?Copy !req
164. I'm certain God had a purpose
when he created Vince Benedict...Copy !req
165. But it had nothing
to do with chess or poetry.Copy !req
166. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
167. Odd, the contents
of his files are missing.Copy !req
168. That is Vince?Copy !req
169. He looks so happy.Copy !req
170. He should.
That's sister Maria...Copy !req
171. - His biology teacher.
- I always liked biology.Copy !req
172. So did Vincent.Copy !req
173. He disgraced sister Maria...Copy !req
174. Who had to leave the order.Copy !req
175. Then he stole all the money from
the library fund, and ran away.Copy !req
176. I must find my brother.Copy !req
177. Do you know where he might be?Copy !req
178. Jail, a man of his character
can only be in jail.Copy !req
179. You're full of goodness, Julius.
I pray you never find him.Copy !req
180. Benedict, visitor.Copy !req
181. - I'm looking for Vincent Benedict.
- You got him.Copy !req
182. I have rowed halfway
across the world-Copy !req
183. wrong, I just rowed a day-Copy !req
184. I've been looking forward to
this moment my whole life.Copy !req
185. I've been on my island,
I'm telling you.Copy !req
186. This is incredible that-
I have looked for-Copy !req
187. you've gotta talk
into the phone, bozo.Copy !req
188. Vincent. Dearest, Vincent...Copy !req
189. I know you don't know who I am.Copy !req
190. - But believe me, I came-
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
191. I've got another six hours
to pay the money back.Copy !req
192. Tell the klane brothers that harassing
a man already in the slammer...Copy !req
193. Is beneath even them, all right?Copy !req
194. I don't know any klane brothers.
I'm your brother, Julius.Copy !req
195. Huh? Come again?Copy !req
196. My name is Julius,
and I'm your twin brother.Copy !req
197. Oh, obviously.Copy !req
198. The moment I sat down, I thought
I was looking into a mirror.Copy !req
199. We are not identicai twins.Copy !req
200. - Oh, no?
- No.Copy !req
201. I wouldn't be too sure, pal.Copy !req
202. I don't lie. I am your brother.Copy !req
203. You must let me help
you get out of here.Copy !req
204. You want to help me get out?Copy !req
205. Yes, right now.Copy !req
206. Well, money talks,
and bullshit walks.Copy !req
207. How can bullshit walk?
That's slang, huh?Copy !req
208. Yeah.Copy !req
209. I'm in fast company here.Copy !req
210. Take a look over there.
See that man?Copy !req
211. Pay him money, all right?
They let me out.Copy !req
212. I'll be anything you want,
your aunt, Uncle, sister...Copy !req
213. Your cousin,
brother-in-law, anything.Copy !req
214. - All right?
- Okay, I pay right now.Copy !req
215. - You pay now.
- Okay, Vince.Copy !req
216. Okay. Go pay.Copy !req
217. All right, pay him.Copy !req
218. What is this, "candid camera"?Copy !req
219. Ahhh, oof!Copy !req
220. Twinny, I hope you didn't
blow your wad on the tickets...Copy !req
221. Because I'm gonna need
a lot more money to get my car.Copy !req
222. - I have more money.
- You do?Copy !req
223. I'm glad to help you.
Vincent, I'm your brother.Copy !req
224. - I love you.
- Whoa!Copy !req
225. Look, ease up
on the love talk...Copy !req
226. Because I'm gonna be tossing
my cookies in a minute.Copy !req
227. Tossing your cookies?Copy !req
228. Oh, that's more slang!Copy !req
229. Where the hell is it?Copy !req
230. - This is your car, isn't it?
- Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
231. You pay a huge fine,
then they hide it on you.Copy !req
232. - How'd you know this was my car?
- We're twins!Copy !req
233. I'm so excited. Now we can
go to museums together...Copy !req
234. Talk philosophy together,
read books together.Copy !req
235. - Play chess together.
- Get lost together.Copy !req
236. Vincent!Copy !req
237. He's so full of energy.Copy !req
238. Blue sedan deville.Copy !req
239. This is beautiful.Copy !req
240. Where you guys going,
out to Hawaii?Copy !req
241. - Catch some of them big waves?
- Yeah, something like that.Copy !req
242. We have plenty
of room on levei 4.Copy !req
243. I'll call you next Saturday.Copy !req
244. Whoa, where you going
with my desk?Copy !req
245. Takin' back this furniture, man.Copy !req
246. - You're six months behind.
- You're behind!Copy !req
247. Six months behind.
That's the problem.Copy !req
248. There's no trust
in the world any more.Copy !req
249. I tried to stop them,
mr Benedict.Copy !req
250. That's all right, it was
time to redecorate anyway.Copy !req
251. Vincent Benedict incorporated.Copy !req
252. - Sports agent...
- Airborne!Copy !req
253. - Mr Benedict?
- Yeah?Copy !req
254. - It's Al.
- It's ai? Ooh, Al, Al, Al.Copy !req
255. Look, miss busby, uh-
Al, hang on a second.Copy !req
256. The corporation's in
a transitionai period right now.Copy !req
257. Take a couple of days off.
When we regroup, I'll call you.Copy !req
258. Whatever you think is best.Copy !req
259. - All right.
- I'll take this.Copy !req
260. Yeah, go ahead. Take that.Copy !req
261. Before I forget, Happy Birthday.Copy !req
262. Oh, how sweet.Copy !req
263. That's very, very nice of you.Copy !req
264. - Aqua velva?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
265. You shouldn't have. Stacey.Copy !req
266. I'll give you a call, okay?Copy !req
267. All right, all right.Copy !req
268. Al, save me!Copy !req
269. Brand-new caddy on levei 4.Copy !req
270. I'll be there! Don't move! Bye.Copy !req
271. Whoa!Copy !req
272. Time's up, Vincent.Copy !req
273. Did you hit me?
Because I didn't feei a thing.Copy !req
274. I felt that.Copy !req
275. You gotta understand
something, Benedict.Copy !req
276. I like my work.Copy !req
277. These are the most unfriendly acts
you're committing.Copy !req
278. I don't know
what the problem is...Copy !req
279. But I'm sure it
can be resolved...Copy !req
280. - Without resorting to violence.
- Yeah.Copy !req
281. Okay?Copy !req
282. Okay.Copy !req
283. - You moved too soon.
- He did?Copy !req
284. Ahhh!Copy !req
285. A little chest pain?Copy !req
286. The first rule
in a crisis situation:Copy !req
287. You negotiate first
and you attack last.Copy !req
288. You negotiate first,
then you attack.Copy !req
289. - You never negotiated.
- Na-hah!Copy !req
290. You don't know what
kind of an enemy I am.Copy !req
291. - Who are you?
- I'm Vincent's brother.Copy !req
292. - We're twins.
- That's right.Copy !req
293. - You're firewood!
- Axe, axe, axe!Copy !req
294. You have no respect for logic.Copy !req
295. - But he's got an axe!
- Ahhhh!Copy !req
296. And I have no respect for those
who have no respect for logic.Copy !req
297. You're a very stupid person.Copy !req
298. You tell your brother...Copy !req
299. He messes with me, he messes
with my whole family!Copy !req
300. I love it when you
hit people, Julius.Copy !req
301. Boom!Copy !req
302. That was great!Copy !req
303. Actually, I hate violence.Copy !req
304. But you're so good at it!Copy !req
305. I've got an idea. We should
go into business together.Copy !req
306. You could be a boxer.
I could be your manager.Copy !req
307. - I don't think I could fight for money.
- No problem!Copy !req
308. You do all the fighting,
I'll keep all the money.Copy !req
309. I'm really worried
about you, Vincent.Copy !req
310. How much money do you owe?Copy !req
311. Don't lie to me. We're twins.Copy !req
312. - I can feei your pain.
- Why do you keep saying that?Copy !req
313. We're not twins.
We're not brothers.Copy !req
314. We're nothin'!Copy !req
315. Twenty thousand.Copy !req
316. Due this morning.Copy !req
317. Come on.Copy !req
318. Don't worry about
anything, Vincent.Copy !req
319. As long as I'm with you,
I won't let anyone harm you, okay?Copy !req
320. Well, you're a good guy, Julius.Copy !req
321. Now, hang on to your seat!Copy !req
322. You know what?
I completely forgot.Copy !req
323. I promised this friend, Sammy...Copy !req
324. That I'd pick his car up
from the airport.Copy !req
325. Put it in the slot.Copy !req
326. Would you do me a big favour?Copy !req
327. Would you drive this car back
from the airport for me?Copy !req
328. Oh, I would love to.Copy !req
329. Good, that would
really be a big help.Copy !req
330. Do you have a manual, please?Copy !req
331. - A manuai?
- Yeah.Copy !req
332. - It's in the glove compartment.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
333. There it is.Copy !req
334. - What are you doin' with the finger?
- Learning to drive.Copy !req
335. Whoa!Copy !req
336. It's not up here.Copy !req
337. Maybe it's under the back tyre.Copy !req
338. Look... I mean, usually he
leaves the keys behind the tyre.Copy !req
339. - Geez!
- What's the matter?Copy !req
340. That dopey Sam,
he forgot to leave the keys.Copy !req
341. No. Oh, well.Copy !req
342. A lot of handicapped children
are gonna be very disappointed.Copy !req
343. Handicapped children?Copy !req
344. This car was supposed to be auctioned
off at their charity drive tomorrow.Copy !req
345. Oh, well. Let's go get
something to eat.Copy !req
346. Maybe we should try
to open it ourselves.Copy !req
347. Do you really think
we should do that?Copy !req
348. It's for children.Copy !req
349. You got a point.Copy !req
350. I saw a guy from
the auto club do this once.Copy !req
351. What do you know,
beginners luck!Copy !req
352. These cars have terrific alarms!Copy !req
353. I'll get it in a minute.Copy !req
354. Just a second, Jules.Copy !req
355. Whoa!Copy !req
356. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
357. If you lift the rear end
at an angle greater than 45%...Copy !req
358. The Mercury switch activates
the automatic cut-off system...Copy !req
359. So that the alarm's
computer thinks...Copy !req
360. That the car is being
towed and shuts off.Copy !req
361. Can I have the keys to your car?Copy !req
362. You know, the keys to your car?Copy !req
363. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No yodelling.Copy !req
364. Lovely day.Copy !req
365. Come on, Julius.Copy !req
366. Step on it!Copy !req
367. Yeeeoow!Copy !req
368. Oh, my God!Copy !req
369. - I am amazed at how well it's going.
- You're doing good.Copy !req
370. Don't use both feet
at the same time.Copy !req
371. - Just use the gas.
- Okay, one foot.Copy !req
372. - One pedai at a time.
- Okay! I will do it!Copy !req
373. Pick up the phone, the phone.Copy !req
374. The little thing down on
the right that's making noise.Copy !req
375. This is Vincent's car.
Can I help you, please?Copy !req
376. - Julius!
- Vincent, where are you?Copy !req
377. Look in your rear-view mirror.
You see that little dot?Copy !req
378. That's me.Copy !req
379. Hello, yeah. Hello!Copy !req
380. What are you doing back there?Copy !req
381. There's going to be a lot of
lights coming up, a supermarket.Copy !req
382. - Supermarket.
- Take your foot off the gas.Copy !req
383. Apply it to the brake.
It's the thing next to the gas.Copy !req
384. The brake pedal.Copy !req
385. - Very gently.
- You got it.Copy !req
386. Bye, Vincent.Copy !req
387. All right.Copy !req
388. Okay, it's a supermarket.Copy !req
389. Ohhh!Copy !req
390. Ohhh!Copy !req
391. That's what I call fun.Copy !req
392. Did you see me
with the two wheels?Copy !req
393. I can teach you that, Vincent.Copy !req
394. Julius, let me tell you
something about America.Copy !req
395. Nobody likes
a smart ass, all right?Copy !req
396. So, what do you think?Copy !req
397. Angel's food or devil's food?Copy !req
398. Devil's.Copy !req
399. - You know what I really love about Vince?
- What?Copy !req
400. He's a force of nature.Copy !req
401. - You're outta control.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
402. That poetry he pretends to write,
they're old song lyrics.Copy !req
403. I know. Geez,
you think I don't know that!Copy !req
404. - I don't think you know that.
- Well, I do.Copy !req
405. It's this style thing.
That's how he expresses himself.Copy !req
406. And he means it, even if
he doesn't know he means it.Copy !req
407. - Vince has a truly romantic soul.
- I can't hear this any more.Copy !req
408. Well, don't, 'cause if you
had a boyfriend like I have...Copy !req
409. You'd make him a cake
and he'd love it...Copy !req
410. And you'd get laid.Copy !req
411. - Ah!
- Excuse me.Copy !req
412. Excuse me.Copy !req
413. She's not bad.Copy !req
414. I had no idea
that these magazines...Copy !req
415. Had things like
this inside, inside them.Copy !req
416. You didn't? Where've you been?
A desert island?Copy !req
417. I come from a tropicai island
in the South pacific.Copy !req
418. It's around 300 nauticai Miles,
South, southwest of Fiji.Copy !req
419. I just got here yesterday
and I already found my brother.Copy !req
420. Your brother?Copy !req
421. That's right.Copy !req
422. My twin brother, Vincent.Copy !req
423. - Twins?
- Vince!Copy !req
424. - Linda.
- Hi.Copy !req
425. Oh, you look gorgeous
in this light.Copy !req
426. - You do.
- Really?Copy !req
427. Hi. Who's this guy?Copy !req
428. This is Vincent's brother.Copy !req
429. - I didn't know you had a brother.
- Me, either.Copy !req
430. You know each other?Copy !req
431. Allow me to introduce
these lovely ladies.Copy !req
432. - This is Linda.
- Hi.Copy !req
433. - Hello.
- Her charming sister, marnie.Copy !req
434. Sisters?Copy !req
435. Twins?Copy !req
436. Are you sure
this guy's all right?Copy !req
437. He's okay. He's helping me out.Copy !req
438. He's from outta town,
kinda latched on to me.Copy !req
439. Okay, well, great seeing ya.Copy !req
440. Catch ya later.Copy !req
441. Great seeing ya. Catch ya later.Copy !req
442. Oops!Copy !req
443. I've only been driving an hour.Copy !req
444. - Linda's your girlfriend, isn't she?
- Yeah, kinda.Copy !req
445. - Is marnie your girlfriend, too?
- Marnie?Copy !req
446. Marnie hates my guts.
She kinda likes you, though.Copy !req
447. - Me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
448. - She hardly knows me.
- That's the best way.Copy !req
449. You see, women love men...Copy !req
450. Who are mysterious and devious.Copy !req
451. Keeps them on their toes.Copy !req
452. - It excites them. You know what I mean?
- No.Copy !req
453. - You do like women?
- Very much so.Copy !req
454. They're strange and sensitive.Copy !req
455. They have compassion.Copy !req
456. I have the highest
respect for women.Copy !req
457. You're a virgin!Copy !req
458. That's private.Copy !req
459. A 230-pound virgin.Copy !req
460. It's all right. It's something-Copy !req
461. it's just one of those things.Copy !req
462. Oh, Julius.
My little baby poodle.Copy !req
463. Such a baby cat.
Look, did I neglect you?Copy !req
464. Not any more. Come on.Copy !req
465. That's a good little pussy cat.
This is sweet Julius.Copy !req
466. Okay, here you go.Copy !req
467. You named your cat Julius?Copy !req
468. The secret to take-out eggplant
parmesan is extra cheese.Copy !req
469. - There we go.
- That much cheese?Copy !req
470. Oh, yeah.
The more cheese, the merrier.Copy !req
471. There you go.Copy !req
472. I know you're probably used to
growing your own vegetables...Copy !req
473. And spearing fish on the lagoon,
but here on the mainland...Copy !req
474. We just nuke it.Copy !req
475. That's it. Here we go.Copy !req
476. Feast your eyes.
Dinner is served.Copy !req
477. - Yummy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
478. - Ahhh!
- Ahhh!Copy !req
479. Through the lips, over the gums,
look out-Copy !req
480. look out stomach, here it comes.
Ta-dum!Copy !req
481. - Julius!
- Oh, I like nuked food.Copy !req
482. - Mm-mmm!
- Mmm!Copy !req
483. Now let me get this straight.Copy !req
484. One of our fathers was
a famous football player?Copy !req
485. - Yes!
- And another one was...Copy !req
486. - A physicist at m.L.T.?
- Yes, he won the nobei prize.Copy !req
487. Naturally! All of our dads
were these big shots.Copy !req
488. And mom... Was like...
superwoman.Copy !req
489. But she didn't survive
the delivery.Copy !req
490. And I was sent
to an orphanage...Copy !req
491. While you were raised
on a tropicai paradise...Copy !req
492. By a scientist who
you do research for...Copy !req
493. But who doesn't pay you,
because you don't need money.Copy !req
494. Did I leave anything out?Copy !req
495. I think it's important we try
to find our fathers.Copy !req
496. Oh, you mean the geniuses
who contributed...Copy !req
497. To the sperm milk shake.Copy !req
498. Why are you being so immature
about all this?Copy !req
499. Do you know how many times
I've heard stories like this?Copy !req
500. It's every orphan's fantasy.Copy !req
501. My reai mom and dad were rich...Copy !req
502. And beautiful.Copy !req
503. But there was a mix-up
in the hospital...Copy !req
504. And I got switched
with another baby.Copy !req
505. But one day, there's gonna
be a knock at the door...Copy !req
506. And there they'll be...Copy !req
507. With open arms, crying,
"my darling.Copy !req
508. "My treasure. We didn't know.Copy !req
509. How can we make it up to you?"Copy !req
510. Let me tell you something
for your own good, Julius.Copy !req
511. It's a crock.Copy !req
512. I liberated this from
my file at the orphanage.Copy !req
513. Here it is. Read it and weep.Copy !req
514. "Dear sister Anderson, your request
for orphan's benefits...Copy !req
515. - "For Vincent Benedict has been denied."
- Denied, yeah.Copy !req
516. "According to our files,
his mother did not die...Copy !req
517. - "During birth."
- She's not dead.Copy !req
518. "We have a current
address for her at...Copy !req
519. "172 canyon Glen drive,
Los Angeles.Copy !req
520. "Vincent's case seems to be
one of simple abandonment...Copy !req
521. And as such,
he's ineligible for aid."Copy !req
522. That's right, Julius.
She abandoned me.Copy !req
523. This letter was written
30 years ago.Copy !req
524. We were five years old.Copy !req
525. Our mother didn't die
when we were born!Copy !req
526. You knew all this time
where she was...Copy !req
527. And you never contacted her?Copy !req
528. I don't know about your mother,
"miss perfect, 1952"...Copy !req
529. But my mother was a slut
and if she's still alive...Copy !req
530. I hope she's in a lot of pain.Copy !req
531. She dumped me once.Copy !req
532. There is no way I'm gonna give
her a chance to do it again.Copy !req
533. If they have lied to us about mama
for all these years...Copy !req
534. Maybe they lied to her, too.
We got to find her.Copy !req
535. - We have to check this address.
- You do what you want.Copy !req
536. I got a cash-flow problem.Copy !req
537. Hello.Copy !req
538. Hey, Vince, we haven't
forgotten about you.Copy !req
539. You better have our money
tomorrow morning, or else.Copy !req
540. Or else what, you blimp?Copy !req
541. Oh, we're rollin'.Copy !req
542. Tests on the new low-temperature
gaskets look great.Copy !req
543. - Mr Garfield, there's a man-
- Not now.Copy !req
544. - Who are you?
- I'm Webster.Copy !req
545. It's okay!Copy !req
546. Christ! You were never
supposed to come here.Copy !req
547. We were never supposed to meet.Copy !req
548. - You're supposed to be-
- Driving that car down to Texas.Copy !req
549. I got my driving gloves.
I got my driving glasses.Copy !req
550. I got my driving hat.Copy !req
551. But I got no car.Copy !req
552. The car was there.
The merchandise was in the trunk.Copy !req
553. Your instructions
were on the cassette.Copy !req
554. He wants more money.
That's what this is about.Copy !req
555. - He wants more money.
- Whoa, whoa. Let me explain.Copy !req
556. Sit down.Copy !req
557. I got a reputation to uphold.Copy !req
558. People put their trust in me.Copy !req
559. They know I always
deliver the goods...Copy !req
560. And I always come
back with the money.Copy !req
561. This is making me look
very bad professionally.Copy !req
562. - This is bullshit. The car was there.
- That's right.Copy !req
563. The parking attendant
thought we were going to Hawaii.Copy !req
564. - The parking attendant?
- He liked the car.Copy !req
565. We put on those loud shirts
so we'd look like tourists.Copy !req
566. You know,
I just realized that...Copy !req
567. In over 20 years of service,
not one of my clients...Copy !req
568. Has ever seen my face.Copy !req
569. I don't think that's
a problem. Hey!Copy !req
570. No, please, please!Copy !req
571. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
572. Oh, excuse me, could you
tell me who lives here?Copy !req
573. Grandpa...Copy !req
574. This man wants to talk to you.Copy !req
575. Thank you.Copy !req
576. Hello?Copy !req
577. Yes, can I help you?Copy !req
578. I'm terribly sorry
to disturb your party.Copy !req
579. I know this may sound strange...Copy !req
580. But I'm looking for someone
that lived here a long time ago.Copy !req
581. Mary Ann Benedict.Copy !req
582. She was my mother.Copy !req
583. You're Mary Ann's son?Copy !req
584. That looks just
like you, grandpa.Copy !req
585. Honey, why don't
you go inside...Copy !req
586. And help grandma
with lunch, okay?Copy !req
587. Dad?Copy !req
588. Uh... no!Copy !req
589. - But maybe technically speaking.
- Dad!Copy !req
590. Dad!Copy !req
591. - Wait a minute!
- Dad! It is you!Copy !req
592. This is a big surprise.Copy !req
593. Dad, this is incredible.
I don't know what to-Copy !req
594. we could use a drink.
Where'd you come from?Copy !req
595. One of my fathers! You don't know
what this means to me.Copy !req
596. Uh, mr Webster,
I hope you are happy with the vehicle...Copy !req
597. We chose for
your little journey.Copy !req
598. When you get near Houston,
phone 713-555-0342...Copy !req
599. And ask for uh, uh,
beetroot McKinley.Copy !req
600. He will arrange to trade you a briefcase
for the merchandise in the trunk.Copy !req
601. Thank you.Copy !req
602. Mary Ann Benedict.Copy !req
603. I haven't said that name
out loud for over 30 years.Copy !req
604. Your mother was...
An amazing woman.Copy !req
605. Oh, the times I've wondered what would
have happened if I'd have married her.Copy !req
606. Why didn't you?Copy !req
607. Oh, I asked her to.
She turned me down.Copy !req
608. She said she was afraid...Copy !req
609. To have any more children.Copy !req
610. See, they told her
you had died at birth.Copy !req
611. Who told her we died?Copy !req
612. Mitchell traven,
the guy with the clipboard.Copy !req
613. He supervised the experiment
for the government.Copy !req
614. He still runs a genetics lab
at Los Alamos, new Mexico.Copy !req
615. I'll have to pay him a visit.Copy !req
616. Watch out for him.Copy !req
617. He's kind of a dickhead,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
618. Dickhead?Copy !req
619. No, I don't.Copy !req
620. But... I'm learning.Copy !req
621. I'm concerned about the time frame.Copy !req
622. That's my private line, honey.
I'll take care of that.Copy !req
623. You boys, excuse me.Copy !req
624. Beetroot McKinley talkin'.
Who is this?Copy !req
625. Uh, Webster.Copy !req
626. I'm callin' from California.
I happen to have something-Copy !req
627. some merchandise
that you might want.Copy !req
628. Well, bring it to me, son.Copy !req
629. Let me enrich you.Copy !req
630. Well, uh, mr beetroot...Copy !req
631. It's the amount of enrichment...Copy !req
632. That I wanted to talk about.Copy !req
633. Don't try and renegotiate
with old beetroot, son.Copy !req
634. Now look, beetroot...Copy !req
635. If we can't renegotiate,
we wither and die.Copy !req
636. Look, there's no way,
mr beetroot...Copy !req
637. That I am going to deliver
any damn Cadillac...Copy !req
638. Unless I know for sure
that I have...Copy !req
639. Twenty for my cut.Copy !req
640. Twenty! You little
shit-for-brains peckerwood!Copy !req
641. You're out of your
goddam, greedy mind!Copy !req
642. - I guess that seems a little high for you.
- Yeah!Copy !req
643. I'm a reasonable man.
How about fifteen?Copy !req
644. - The deai is five!
- Five?Copy !req
645. I could do better
than five here.Copy !req
646. If you can do better
than five million dollars...Copy !req
647. Well, then, son, you take it.Copy !req
648. Beetroot,
I'll see you in Houston.Copy !req
649. After all, fair is fair.Copy !req
650. I'll just have to find it in
my heart to live with your offer.Copy !req
651. Well, good.Copy !req
652. Five million!Copy !req
653. Five million dollars!Copy !req
654. Five mil-l-lion dollars!Copy !req
655. Five million dollars!Copy !req
656. Five, five million dollars!Copy !req
657. Five million dollars!Copy !req
658. Five m-m-million!Copy !req
659. Cash, lots of cash.Copy !req
660. Whoa!Copy !req
661. Listen, the most amazing thing
has happened, Vincent.Copy !req
662. - You scared the living shit outta me.
- I met one of our fathers.Copy !req
663. He told me about
a man in new Mexico...Copy !req
664. - Who probably knows where mom is.
- Oh, great! Yes!Copy !req
665. - Listen, she didn't abandon you.
- No?Copy !req
666. You know what I mean?
She didn't abandon you.Copy !req
667. - She didn't even know you were born.
- Oh!Copy !req
668. - They told her that I died.
- No kidding?Copy !req
669. Look, Julius, I'm in a hurry.Copy !req
670. - You know Sammy, who gave me this car?
- Yeah.Copy !req
671. You remember Sammy? He wants me
to take this car to Houston.Copy !req
672. - So I'm gonna be gone a couple of days.
- Houston?Copy !req
673. Hous... hou-no! - You
know something?Copy !req
674. New Mexico's on
the way to Houston.Copy !req
675. A lot of places are
on the way to Houston.Copy !req
676. Use the house,
make some phone calls.Copy !req
677. Throw wild parties.
Take advantage of your brother.Copy !req
678. We have to see this man, traven,
in new Mexico.Copy !req
679. No, we don't have to see
this man in new Mexico.Copy !req
680. Yes, we do!Copy !req
681. And I'm coming with you.Copy !req
682. We'll go see the man.Copy !req
683. - I take a shower. I get my bags.
- Get your bags.Copy !req
684. Be right out. Oh, boy!Copy !req
685. I'll be here, bro. Okay.Copy !req
686. This place is a zoo!Copy !req
687. Wait, wait.Copy !req
688. - Happy Birthday, Vince.
- Oh.Copy !req
689. - Happy Birthday, Vince.
- God.Copy !req
690. It's not my birthday.
Better late than never.Copy !req
691. Oh.Copy !req
692. Look what marnie
made for Julius.Copy !req
693. - You baked?
- Yeah. Is Julius around?Copy !req
694. - He's taking a shower.
- I'll go give these to him.Copy !req
695. So-o-o!Copy !req
696. - Where'd you get this car?
- Sammy. You know Sammy.Copy !req
697. - Where you going?
- Inside. Have some coffee?Copy !req
698. You're going somewhere and you
weren't even gonna say goodbye.Copy !req
699. marnie!Copy !req
700. Excuse me, but I was
just taking a shower.Copy !req
701. Good singing.Copy !req
702. I baked you some cookies.Copy !req
703. - Cookies?
- I guess it was a dumb idea.Copy !req
704. No, not at all. I'm really
looking forward to tossing them.Copy !req
705. - I should put on some clothes.
- I'm sorry, I'll turn around.Copy !req
706. Linda and I just came by
'cause she baked him a cake...Copy !req
707. - For his birthday.
- I had birthday, too.Copy !req
708. Oh, that's right.Copy !req
709. You're twins.Copy !req
710. Huh?Copy !req
711. Whoa.Copy !req
712. What is it?Copy !req
713. I don't know what it is,
but it's worth a fortune.Copy !req
714. - A fortune? That's great!
- Yeah!Copy !req
715. Excuse me!Copy !req
716. Excuse me.Copy !req
717. Never sleep with that man,
never loan him money...Copy !req
718. Never believe a word he
tells you. That's free advice.Copy !req
719. - Good morning, Agnes.
- Vince?Copy !req
720. I cleaned her pipes once.
Let's go have a cup of coffee.Copy !req
721. Vincent, I'm comin' with you.Copy !req
722. Linda, no,
you're not coming with me.Copy !req
723. - Yes, I am.
- No, you're not coming.Copy !req
724. You could get killed and die and
I wouldn't know what happened.Copy !req
725. - No!
- You say "no" one more time...Copy !req
726. - I'm gonna tell everybody that there's-
- Shut up! Shut up!Copy !req
727. All right. Oh, God.Copy !req
728. All right, you're coming.Copy !req
729. But you do not tell Julius
what's in that trunk.Copy !req
730. He thinks we're going
to look up our ancestors...Copy !req
731. Like in "roots" or something.
All right?Copy !req
732. - Does this one look okay?
- Lt looks fine.Copy !req
733. It's good you didn't have
to borrow his pants.Copy !req
734. - Marnie, guess what?
- Linda, what?Copy !req
735. Vince just asked us to go to new Mexico
and Texas with him.Copy !req
736. This is a great idea.Copy !req
737. Vincent, is this true?
We all go together?Copy !req
738. Yeah.Copy !req
739. I thought it was a great idea
if we all hopped in the car...Copy !req
740. And spent a few days
on the road together.Copy !req
741. Nice shirt.Copy !req
742. - Feels great. It's all cotton.
- Well, it breathes.Copy !req
743. It's okay. Come out.Copy !req
744. All right. Here, Linda.Copy !req
745. Oh, can I ride
in front with Vincent?Copy !req
746. - Sure.
- Thanks.Copy !req
747. Now, let me see.Copy !req
748. I'm supposed to be
giving you one of these.Copy !req
749. Sorry, it's my first day
on the job.Copy !req
750. Have a nice day.Copy !req
751. Now, where do I find
this very speciai person...Copy !req
752. Mr Vince Benedict?Copy !req
753. Well, what have we here?Copy !req
754. What a cute little kitty.Copy !req
755. Where's daddy?Copy !req
756. Well, well, well.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
757. Open up, Vince.
We know you're in there.Copy !req
758. Come on, we just
wanna talk to you.Copy !req
759. Howdy!Copy !req
760. Who are you?Copy !req
761. It's not really
important, is it?Copy !req
762. I was just feeding the cat,
then I was gonna leave.Copy !req
763. I asked you a question.Copy !req
764. - Well, who are you?
- We're the klane brothers.Copy !req
765. That's Burt, this is
Morris, and I'm Bob.Copy !req
766. - Interesting gene pool.
- Don't cast dispersions.Copy !req
767. I beg your pardon. But you're
looking for Vince Benedict.Copy !req
768. - Right.
- Am I Vince Benedict?Copy !req
769. So what difference
does it make who I am?Copy !req
770. - Hit him, Bobby.
- Yeah.Copy !req
771. Hey! All right.Copy !req
772. Your brothers seem to have
a problem with their feet.Copy !req
773. - Could be contagious. Bye, bye.
- Ow! Ow!Copy !req
774. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
775. - You want a doctor?
- Ow!Copy !req
776. I'll call a doctor.Copy !req
777. Sorry I tore your shirt.
I don't know what happened.Copy !req
778. It's all right.Copy !req
779. - Julius!
- What?Copy !req
780. - Are you allergic to something?
- No.Copy !req
781. Then why are these bumps
all over your body?Copy !req
782. You're all swelled up.
You look like you're ready to explode.Copy !req
783. Put this shirt on. There are
women and children present.Copy !req
784. And your back,
it's worse than the front.Copy !req
785. - It's like north Dakota.
- You're so funny, Vincent.Copy !req
786. This is for the t-shirt
and the sandwiches.Copy !req
787. - Born to be bad.
- Yes, we are.Copy !req
788. Ooh, you're so scary.Copy !req
789. Linda.Copy !req
790. Linda!Copy !req
791. Well, what do you think?Copy !req
792. - Let's rock and roll.
- It's his first t-shirt.Copy !req
793. - Honey, honey.
- Yeah?Copy !req
794. See if you can get us
a room with a king-size bed?Copy !req
795. Right.Copy !req
796. We'll get us settled.
We'll meet you here.Copy !req
797. - Okay.
- Goodbye.Copy !req
798. I don't need a king-size bed.
I always sleep on the floor.Copy !req
799. Uh, I don't know, Jules.
I hope this is a good idea.Copy !req
800. Come on.Copy !req
801. Now, look, promise me something.Copy !req
802. If this Professor traven
has never heard of...Copy !req
803. You know, mom or us twins...Copy !req
804. Or all our dads
or the experiment...Copy !req
805. You won't be upset.Copy !req
806. All I want him to do
is tell us the truth.Copy !req
807. I don't know who you are
and what you're talking about.Copy !req
808. Get the hell out of here
before I call security.Copy !req
809. Well, that's that.
On to Houston.Copy !req
810. He's lying!Copy !req
811. Take it easy. He said he
was gonna call security.Copy !req
812. For the first time in my life,
I'm pissed off!Copy !req
813. Julius, don't do this to me.
I got a car to deliver.Copy !req
814. The last thing I need is
a detour in the slammer.Copy !req
815. - I'm gonna make him tell us the truth.
- No!Copy !req
816. That's our mother.
Those are our six fathers.Copy !req
817. That's Werner. And that is you.Copy !req
818. - So start talking.
- Everything okay, dr traven?Copy !req
819. Um, yes. It's okay.Copy !req
820. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
821. Well, Vincent...Copy !req
822. You turned out just like
I thought you would.Copy !req
823. What did you do,
escape from prison?Copy !req
824. How'd you know my name?Copy !req
825. I named you.Copy !req
826. We sealed this door
the day after you were born.Copy !req
827. Well, come on in.
This is what you wanted to see.Copy !req
828. You came out first, of course.Copy !req
829. We weren't expecting... Him.Copy !req
830. This, uh...Copy !req
831. Must be where you
made the milk shake.Copy !req
832. We weren't making milk shakes.Copy !req
833. We were making the most fully-developed
human the world has ever seen.Copy !req
834. But instead of just
one perfect kid...Copy !req
835. - Mom had the two of us. Way to go, mom!
- Wrong!Copy !req
836. The embryo did split
in two, but...Copy !req
837. It didn't split equally.Copy !req
838. All the purity and
strength went into Julius.Copy !req
839. All the crap
that was left over...Copy !req
840. Went into what you see
in the mirror every morning.Copy !req
841. Whoa. You telling me
I'm the crap?Copy !req
842. - This is not true.
- Wait, Julius.Copy !req
843. You're telling me that I am
the leftover crap? I'm no good?Copy !req
844. - He's wrong.
- Look at him.Copy !req
845. Are you saying that
I'm a side effect?Copy !req
846. You haven't got the brain power
to understand this...Copy !req
847. And I haven't got the time.
Show's over.Copy !req
848. Hey, dickhead.Copy !req
849. Tell us where our mother is.Copy !req
850. Um... whispering pines.Copy !req
851. It's an artists' colony
200 Miles north of Santa Fe.Copy !req
852. If you're lying to me,
I'll be back.Copy !req
853. Come on.Copy !req
854. My life just got
flushed down the toilet.Copy !req
855. No, Vincent. Your life
is just about to begin.Copy !req
856. I'm genetic garbage.Copy !req
857. We're twins.
We're basically the same.Copy !req
858. Julius, I know this is
a touchy subject for you...Copy !req
859. But we don't look the same,
we don't act the same...Copy !req
860. We don't talk the same,
we don't dress the same.Copy !req
861. I know.Copy !req
862. So if we're so much the same,
how come we're so different?Copy !req
863. We had six fathers.Copy !req
864. We're different parts of
a lot of different people.Copy !req
865. Yeah?Copy !req
866. Don't forget. I was taken
to a beautifui island.Copy !req
867. I was loved. I was
protected, educated.Copy !req
868. You had nobody, Vincent.Copy !req
869. Nobody to love you,
to trust you, to encourage you.Copy !req
870. All life taught you was
that the only person you...Copy !req
871. Could count on was yourself.Copy !req
872. You see, Vincent...Copy !req
873. You're the missing part
of my life.Copy !req
874. And I'm the missing part
of your life.Copy !req
875. When we find mama...Copy !req
876. We can fill the
missing part of hers.Copy !req
877. We won't be alone any more.Copy !req
878. We can be a family.Copy !req
879. A family?Copy !req
880. Yes.Copy !req
881. You mean, like,
with a Christmas tree...Copy !req
882. And Thanksgiving dinner?Copy !req
883. And a reai home...Copy !req
884. Where you'll always be welcome.Copy !req
885. Always?Copy !req
886. Even when you've been bad.Copy !req
887. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
888. Yeah, yeah, ooh.Copy !req
889. Yes, um-mm. Oh, look.Copy !req
890. - Is this really necessary?
- Yes, of course it's necessary.Copy !req
891. I'm not going to introduce you to my mother
looking like a goat herder from Albania.Copy !req
892. You need clothes.Copy !req
893. - But I feei fine the way I am.
- But you look like a-Copy !req
894. - hello, can I help you?
- Do I look like I need help?Copy !req
895. Here's the problem.
We gotta do a whole ensemble.Copy !req
896. - Do I look okay?
- You look better. Let's put it that way.Copy !req
897. You know what
we have to do, Jules?Copy !req
898. We gotta work on the way
you're walking.Copy !req
899. You look a little stiff.
You ever see "Frankenstein"?Copy !req
900. - I read the book.
- That's not gonna help.Copy !req
901. When you walk, you gotta walk
like you're moving to music...Copy !req
902. And I don't mean
a military march.Copy !req
903. Like, you know, aretha Franklin
and Otis Redding...Copy !req
904. And Wilson pickett,
a couple of white people.Copy !req
905. - Like this?
- Yeah. Bop! That's it.Copy !req
906. - Yeah, loose!
- Oh, I like that.Copy !req
907. I got something for you.
Try these on.Copy !req
908. - Sunglasses?
- Yeah, here you go.Copy !req
909. Now, that's it. There. Yeah!Copy !req
910. That's it. Yeah!Copy !req
911. - Whoops!
- Whoa!Copy !req
912. - Do I look cooi now?
- Mr lce.Copy !req
913. Yeah, just breeze
on through. Yeah!Copy !req
914. yeah, it's your night, bro!Copy !req
915. you're making me nervous!Copy !req
916. - Well, you're nervous.
- You've got to help me.Copy !req
917. - What?
- I've never been out on a date before.Copy !req
918. - That's okay.
- I don't know what to do.Copy !req
919. Well, you talk to her.
You buy her a couple of drinks.Copy !req
920. you dance?Copy !req
921. Oh, you probably never
did that before, either.Copy !req
922. No.Copy !req
923. Oh, well, look.Copy !req
924. All right.Copy !req
925. The first thing is, Jules...Copy !req
926. Forget about disco.Copy !req
927. - Right? No disco.
- No disco.Copy !req
928. When I really wanna
romance a girl...Copy !req
929. I waltz with her.Copy !req
930. - you mean, like Strauss?
- Yeah.Copy !req
931. It turns 'em into
putty in your hands.Copy !req
932. come on, let's assume
the dance position.Copy !req
933. I'll give you
a couple of pointers.Copy !req
934. - I really appreciate that.
- Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
935. I hope nobody's
looking in the window.Copy !req
936. Come on, like this. Here you go.Copy !req
937. Put your feet by my feet.
Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
938. By my feet...Copy !req
939. Not on my feet.
Thanks very much.Copy !req
940. - Sorry, Vincent.
- Minor oversight.Copy !req
941. Grab my hand. Come on.Copy !req
942. Yeow! Ah! Ease up!Copy !req
943. Tiny bit. Let the blood
flow through the fingers.Copy !req
944. Oh, like loose?Copy !req
945. - See, come on. That's it, relax.
- I'm just nervous.Copy !req
946. Okay, one, two, three.
One, two, three.Copy !req
947. - One, two, three.
- One, two, three.Copy !req
948. - One, two, three.
- Don't, no.Copy !req
949. - One, two, three.
- See what you're doing with your teeth?Copy !req
950. You're grinding them.
Don't grind your teeth.Copy !req
951. Don't grind your teeth.Copy !req
952. Relax your jaws, yeah.Copy !req
953. Now try to count without
moving your lips, all right?Copy !req
954. - One, two, three.
- One, two, three.Copy !req
955. See? That's it.
You're not wrestling a boar...Copy !req
956. 300 Miles South,
southwest of Fiji.Copy !req
957. yeah!Copy !req
958. way to go, Jules!Copy !req
959. Ahhh!Copy !req
960. Did you know they had beer
in ancient Egypt?Copy !req
961. - Oh, yeah?
- No.Copy !req
962. It was actually the assyrians
that developed the beer.Copy !req
963. The Egyptians were the first
to perfect the malt process.Copy !req
964. - You know a lot about beer.
- He knows about everything.Copy !req
965. It's all from books.
Untii tonight, I've never had a beer.Copy !req
966. All theory, no practise.
The story of my life.Copy !req
967. - Awww!
- We're gonna change all that.Copy !req
968. Aren't we, marnie?Copy !req
969. - Marnie.
- What?Copy !req
970. Am I shit-faced yet?Copy !req
971. Excuse me, but...
My back teeth are floating.Copy !req
972. Excuse me, I have to check if
my back teeth are floating.Copy !req
973. Good shot.Copy !req
974. Woo-hoo! Ooo!Copy !req
975. Oh, God. We both flushed at
the same time before we did it.Copy !req
976. Yeah, right. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
977. Hey, Jules. Marnie's
got the hots for you, babe.Copy !req
978. Tonight is your lucky night.
I know it.Copy !req
979. - I don't think marnie likes me.
- You kidding? Piece of cake.Copy !req
980. This woman is ripe.
You're nervous...Copy !req
981. Because it's your first time.
Perfectly natural.Copy !req
982. Really.Copy !req
983. Were you nervous the first time?Copy !req
984. I was 12 years old and she was
a nun. Talk about pressure.Copy !req
985. Whoa!Copy !req
986. Come on, hit 'em.Copy !req
987. - What?
- Hit 'em, hit 'em.Copy !req
988. Oh, hit 'em, hit 'em.Copy !req
989. Julius... You know...Copy !req
990. Julius, I have to admit this.Copy !req
991. Since you and I first met, uh...Copy !req
992. My life has been just
getting better and better.Copy !req
993. Mine, too.Copy !req
994. I'm so happy, Vincent.Copy !req
995. I feei like sometimes, like...Copy !req
996. - Picking you up and hug you...
- Whoa!Copy !req
997. And hug you, hug you, hug you.Copy !req
998. Hey, he's my brother.Copy !req
999. Oh, lay off the beer, Julius.Copy !req
1000. Did you tell anyone
we were coming to Santa Fe?Copy !req
1001. I called work and told them
we wouldn't be in for a few days.Copy !req
1002. Oh, I forgot to tell you
we were fired.Copy !req
1003. - Oh, no.
- You hated that job.Copy !req
1004. Nice of your boss to tell
us where we could find you.Copy !req
1005. Oh, no.Copy !req
1006. Hi, girls, you don't mind if
we join you and listen to some music.Copy !req
1007. The klane boys.
What an unpleasant surprise.Copy !req
1008. Vince, this has
gone way beyond...Copy !req
1009. - A case of simple loan delinquency.
- We don't like being shot.Copy !req
1010. Shot? Who shot you?Copy !req
1011. - What do you want?
- We want to take Vince...Copy !req
1012. - Out to the parking lot and kill him.
- Ohhh, owww!Copy !req
1013. Don't you think
that's a little drastic?Copy !req
1014. Let's go.Copy !req
1015. Don't touch him.Copy !req
1016. Ohhh!Copy !req
1017. Hey, big fella.Copy !req
1018. You wouldn't want me to hurt
the lovely lady, would you?Copy !req
1019. You moved too soon.Copy !req
1020. - What?
- The second rule in a crisis:Copy !req
1021. Uh-oh. He's startin'
that funny talk, again.Copy !req
1022. If you choose to bluff...Copy !req
1023. You must be prepared
to have your bluff called.Copy !req
1024. This is no bluff.Copy !req
1025. These are my cousins,
Sam and Dave.Copy !req
1026. Get these jerks outta here.Copy !req
1027. I'm so proud of you.
I love when you hit people.Copy !req
1028. You got a lot of rules, Jules.Copy !req
1029. What a day.Copy !req
1030. First we visited
our birthplace...Copy !req
1031. Then we bought new clothes.Copy !req
1032. I got a bucket of ice and
a very good bottle of wine.Copy !req
1033. - Then we danced the waltz.
- Yes, we did.Copy !req
1034. - It's too bright.
- Then we got into a fight.Copy !req
1035. - We have this beautifui room.
- Perfect. Yes, it is beautiful.Copy !req
1036. Life just doesn't
get better than this.Copy !req
1037. - Oh, yes, it does. Good night.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
1038. I'm gonna go tuck Linda in
and maybe read her a bedtime story.Copy !req
1039. Don't wait up for me.Copy !req
1040. oh, Vincent, you locked
yourself out.Copy !req
1041. L— marnie.
- Hi.Copy !req
1042. - Hi.
- Vince and Linda wanna be alone...Copy !req
1043. So I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to stay here tonight.Copy !req
1044. You mean you're gonna sleep here tonight?
Uhhuh.Copy !req
1045. Which bed should I take?Copy !req
1046. Either bed will be fine.Copy !req
1047. I always sleep on the floo-Copy !req
1048. - good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
1049. Julius.Copy !req
1050. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
1051. - Oh, no.
- What?Copy !req
1052. - What's the matter?
- This bed is lumpy.Copy !req
1053. You mind if I share
the floor with you?Copy !req
1054. You're teasing me, aren't you?Copy !req
1055. A little.Copy !req
1056. What do I do now?Copy !req
1057. We'll figure it out.Copy !req
1058. why are you doing that now?Copy !req
1059. Mom hasn't seen me
in all these years.Copy !req
1060. I wanna look my best.Copy !req
1061. And you look really good.Copy !req
1062. I know, I know, I know, I know.Copy !req
1063. So like this. One, two, three.Copy !req
1064. Are you a little nervous?Copy !req
1065. 27, 28, no, 29.Copy !req
1066. - Just a little.
- Nine, ten.Copy !req
1067. - Linda.
- What?Copy !req
1068. Like, what if she's
disappointed in me?Copy !req
1069. If she's disappointed,
then she's a fake.Copy !req
1070. I don't know what else
a mom could want in a son.Copy !req
1071. - Huh?
- You're right.Copy !req
1072. You're right, you're right.
Why am I worried?Copy !req
1073. - What am I worried about?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1074. You got it all.Copy !req
1075. - I couldn't do this without you, Linda.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1076. You know, I've been thinking...Copy !req
1077. - That when we get back...
- Yeah?Copy !req
1078. I think we should
move in together.Copy !req
1079. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
1080. - Oh, no, no.
- It's not "oh, no."Copy !req
1081. - It's not no, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
1082. I don't want to get married
and it's not that I wanna...Copy !req
1083. Keep track of you,
because I don't need to.Copy !req
1084. I just wanna live with you.Copy !req
1085. It'd be fun.Copy !req
1086. Linda, look at me.Copy !req
1087. Do I look like somebody
who could play house?Copy !req
1088. I'm cranky in the morning,
I'm grouchy in the afternoon...Copy !req
1089. I'm moody at night,
I'm like miserable.Copy !req
1090. I know what you're like.Copy !req
1091. Let's sleep on it, okay?
Sleep on it.Copy !req
1092. - Okay, one night.
- This is going to be great.Copy !req
1093. Tomorrow I'm taking my best girl
to meet my mom. I'm so excited.Copy !req
1094. - Your best giri?
- Yeah, you, you.Copy !req
1095. Linda, there's no other girls.
Not any more.Copy !req
1096. Yeah?Copy !req
1097. - Just you.
- There better not be. Know why?Copy !req
1098. - that sounds familiar.
- It's a good song.Copy !req
1099. You like that song, huh?Copy !req
1100. oh, it's huge.Copy !req
1101. Oh, it's beautiful.Copy !req
1102. Not to mention valuable.Copy !req
1103. Reai estate like this
is worth a fortune.Copy !req
1104. You mustn't always
think about money.Copy !req
1105. You got me all wrong, Julius.Copy !req
1106. I'm just saying
it's nice mom's loaded.Copy !req
1107. That's a worry she won't
have to have in her old age.Copy !req
1108. Hello, can I help you?Copy !req
1109. - Yes, yes, yes.
- Oh, um, excuse me.Copy !req
1110. We are looking for
Mary Ann Benedict, please.Copy !req
1111. I'm sorry, but
that's not possible.Copy !req
1112. Look, we've come a long way.Copy !req
1113. And believe me, she's gonna
be very happy to see us.Copy !req
1114. You're gonna have to write to the
Benedict foundation stating your business.Copy !req
1115. I'm sorry. Good day.Copy !req
1116. - Foundation?
- Millions, Julius.Copy !req
1117. Mama's rich.
We gotta go see her.Copy !req
1118. Buckaroos.Copy !req
1119. - Let's get in there. We gotta talk to her.
- We sneak in.Copy !req
1120. - How is it?
- Yeah, it's clear. Throw me over.Copy !req
1121. Okay.Copy !req
1122. Vince? Vince, are you okay?Copy !req
1123. Yeah, shut up. Come on, come on.Copy !req
1124. What a lovely day.Copy !req
1125. Hey, Vincent, don't you
think this is mama?Copy !req
1126. It could be. Yeah.Copy !req
1127. Don't just stand there.
Go introduce yourselves.Copy !req
1128. Hey!Copy !req
1129. - Should you people be here?
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
1130. That depends on how you feel
personally about trespassing.Copy !req
1131. Does he always try
to be funny like that?Copy !req
1132. - We're looking for miss Mary Ann Benedict.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1133. - Is she here?
- Yeah, she's here.Copy !req
1134. She's here!Copy !req
1135. Sneaking in like that,
I should call the police.Copy !req
1136. No, no, no. You don't want
to do anything like that.Copy !req
1137. This is not your everyday,
average situation.Copy !req
1138. She's our mother, is the thing.Copy !req
1139. - We're her sons.
- Twin sons.Copy !req
1140. You're comedians.Copy !req
1141. No. - No. We-we're
kind of a surprise.Copy !req
1142. I'll bet you are. Follow me.Copy !req
1143. - We were right.
- Lt is her.Copy !req
1144. Excuse me.Copy !req
1145. - We thought that this is-
- Mary Ann Benedict?Copy !req
1146. This is an artists' colony.
There are a lot of painters.Copy !req
1147. Come on.Copy !req
1148. I can't wait to meet her.Copy !req
1149. - Yeah.
- It's gotta be amazing.Copy !req
1150. Look. Mary Ann Benedict
never understood...Copy !req
1151. Why people wanted
to buy her paintings.Copy !req
1152. But for a brief period,
they were considered valuable.Copy !req
1153. She used the money
to buy whispering pines.Copy !req
1154. May I ask you a question?Copy !req
1155. Why do you keep referring
to her in the past tense?Copy !req
1156. Because... She passed
away some time ago.Copy !req
1157. She passed-Copy !req
1158. you jus-you just said
she was here.Copy !req
1159. I meant, her spirit.
Her spirit is always here.Copy !req
1160. Come on.Copy !req
1161. Can we get the hell
out of here, please?Copy !req
1162. Those damn reai estate developers!Copy !req
1163. They won't be happy until
they turn this into a golf course.Copy !req
1164. Oh, is that who they were?Copy !req
1165. They're shameless.
They'll try anything.Copy !req
1166. Do you know those men claim
to be my twin sons?Copy !req
1167. - If you can believe that!
- What?Copy !req
1168. It was really quite upsetting.Copy !req
1169. Mary Ann, I am sorry.Copy !req
1170. It's all right.
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
1171. You get over things.Copy !req
1172. I did have a child once.Copy !req
1173. But he died at birth.Copy !req
1174. You should be proud of her.Copy !req
1175. She donates her house, land...Copy !req
1176. And all her paintings
to young artists.Copy !req
1177. Linda, do I look like
a young artist?Copy !req
1178. All she meant... I know what
she meant, and why she's here.Copy !req
1179. It's got nothing to do
with finding my mother...Copy !req
1180. And everything to do with money.Copy !req
1181. - That's not true and you know it.
- Bullshit!Copy !req
1182. Take it easy, Vincent.
This is not her fault.Copy !req
1183. Look who decided to chime in!Copy !req
1184. The creature from
the black lagoon.Copy !req
1185. I should've had my head
examined listening to you.Copy !req
1186. A deal-of-a-lifetime
opportunity...Copy !req
1187. And I'm out looking
for a dead mother.Copy !req
1188. All I wanted was to
make us into a family.Copy !req
1189. Family, my butt!Copy !req
1190. There's no family here.Copy !req
1191. There's nothin' here
except me and three losers.Copy !req
1192. I don't know
why I listen to people.Copy !req
1193. - I don't know why I do it.
- Cut it out.Copy !req
1194. Vince!Copy !req
1195. - I'm leaving.
- No, stop!Copy !req
1196. Stop! What are you doing?Copy !req
1197. You're acting
like a fourth-grader.Copy !req
1198. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
1199. He dumped us in
the middle of new Mexico.Copy !req
1200. I can't-Julius!Copy !req
1201. You don't know this...Copy !req
1202. And I promised Vince
that I wouldn't tell you...Copy !req
1203. But he's got something in
the trunk that's worth millions.Copy !req
1204. I'm worried he's gonna get
himself killed delivering it.Copy !req
1205. Okay, yeah. Yes, mr beetroot.Copy !req
1206. Yeah, I'll find it. Yeah.Copy !req
1207. Yes, I have a map.Copy !req
1208. All right. I'll see you there.Copy !req
1209. See you in Houston
in the morning.Copy !req
1210. I'll be looking forward to it.Copy !req
1211. What a coincidence.Copy !req
1212. That was our friend.Copy !req
1213. Looks like I'm gonna be
doing business with... him.Copy !req
1214. Sorry.Copy !req
1215. I would have done
the same thing.Copy !req
1216. You want the merchandise.
It's not your problem who delivers.Copy !req
1217. Precisely.Copy !req
1218. But how will you find him?Copy !req
1219. I have him in my head.Copy !req
1220. I found him once,
I'll find him again.Copy !req
1221. I hope so. Bye.Copy !req
1222. Be careful.Copy !req
1223. sorry I'm late.Copy !req
1224. - The directions you gave me weren't-
- Step back.Copy !req
1225. Get over here.Copy !req
1226. I'm unarmed.Copy !req
1227. He's clean.Copy !req
1228. Oh, oh. Isn't that pretty!Copy !req
1229. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
1230. - Did you come here alone, unarmed?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1231. You're just some fool
who stole a car?Copy !req
1232. Yeah, I guess I am.Copy !req
1233. You don't know what
the hell this is, do you?Copy !req
1234. No.Copy !req
1235. Revolutionary fuel-injection
system for jets.Copy !req
1236. Worth a fortune to the company that
brings it to the market first.Copy !req
1237. Somebody else developed it,
but I just had to have it.Copy !req
1238. Crafty devil, huh?Copy !req
1239. What are you waiting for?Copy !req
1240. Wait a minute, beetroot!Copy !req
1241. - I thought we had a deal.
- We do.Copy !req
1242. Five million bucks!Copy !req
1243. - You wanna count it?
- No, no.Copy !req
1244. - But I could use a lift to town.
- Don't press your luck.Copy !req
1245. Okay. That's all right.Copy !req
1246. I gassed it up for you,
beetroot. Thank you!Copy !req
1247. Five million dollars!
Five million bucks!Copy !req
1248. Ha-ha-ha! Five million bucks!Copy !req
1249. I've gotta look at it!Copy !req
1250. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1251. Hey, Benedict!Copy !req
1252. All I want is the money.Copy !req
1253. Just give me what's mine
and I'll leave you alone.Copy !req
1254. Steps! Steps!Copy !req
1255. Leave my brother alone.Copy !req
1256. No.Copy !req
1257. Julius.Copy !req
1258. No, no, no.Copy !req
1259. No, no.Copy !req
1260. Julius, you're-you're here?Copy !req
1261. No. No, you idiot.Copy !req
1262. Don't be nervous.Copy !req
1263. I hate violence.
Plus I never carry a gun.Copy !req
1264. Who are you?Copy !req
1265. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
1266. Put the gun down.
I got the money.Copy !req
1267. Here's your money.
Here's your money.Copy !req
1268. Here's the money.Copy !req
1269. You're a goddamned millionaire.Copy !req
1270. You, I am never
gonna forgive... never.Copy !req
1271. - Open it.
- Open it?Copy !req
1272. You were going to get killed.Copy !req
1273. I was trying to distract
him so you could escape.Copy !req
1274. I already had escaped!Copy !req
1275. I was halfway to Brazil
when I felt you!Copy !req
1276. - Close it.
- Close it?Copy !req
1277. Open it, close it.
Open it, close it.Copy !req
1278. - Why didn't you go?
- Why didn't I go?Copy !req
1279. Because thanks to you,
I'm not only a goddamned psychic-Copy !req
1280. Benedict!Copy !req
1281. - I think the case belongs to me.
- Oh, sorry.Copy !req
1282. I got this disease
called a conscience.Copy !req
1283. - No one ever said being good was easy.
- "No one ever said-"Copy !req
1284. will you two shut up!Copy !req
1285. Butt out, pai!
You got your money.Copy !req
1286. Now take it and go live in
the lap of luxury somewhere.Copy !req
1287. Try Brazil.Copy !req
1288. It doesn't work that way.
You've seen my face.Copy !req
1289. Which one's first?Copy !req
1290. You gonna kill us, even though
we gave you the money?Copy !req
1291. You got it.Copy !req
1292. Wait, you forgot the third rule
in a crisis situation.Copy !req
1293. - The third rule?
- Third rule?Copy !req
1294. Yeah, third rule.Copy !req
1295. Oooh!Copy !req
1296. - The third rule.
- What's the third rule?Copy !req
1297. Duck!Copy !req
1298. Yo!Copy !req
1299. Holy-shmoly!Copy !req
1300. Now there's a man
with a lot on his mind.Copy !req
1301. Thanks for coming back, Vincent.Copy !req
1302. We're brothers, right?Copy !req
1303. - We're family.
- That's right.Copy !req
1304. A rich family.Copy !req
1305. - A good family.
- What? What?Copy !req
1306. - We're gonna return this money.
- No.Copy !req
1307. - We don't have to give it back.
- Yes, we do.Copy !req
1308. - Why? Why?
- We have to, believe me.Copy !req
1309. - Mary Ann?
- Hmm?Copy !req
1310. I think you'd better come
take a look at this.Copy !req
1311. What is it?Copy !req
1312. Mary Ann?Copy !req
1313. What a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
1314. You stole my family.Copy !req
1315. You lying son of a bitch.Copy !req
1316. Linda, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1317. I made a terrible mistake
and I apologize.Copy !req
1318. L- all I'm asking for
is another chance.Copy !req
1319. I know I don't deserve this-Copy !req
1320. that's right,
you don't deserve it.Copy !req
1321. Vince?Copy !req
1322. Yes, this is the
Benedict corporation.Copy !req
1323. We are a consulting firm...
A think tank.Copy !req
1324. Something like
the rand corporation.Copy !req
1325. - Only smarter.
- Only smarter.Copy !req
1326. Tomorrow at 3:00.Copy !req
1327. Yes, I'll put you down.Copy !req
1328. Good night, mr benedicts.Copy !req
1329. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
1330. That's it.
The last cheque is written.Copy !req
1331. What do we have left out of
the $50,000 reward?Copy !req
1332. After we've paid off
all our debts...Copy !req
1333. We have exactly $12,278.Copy !req
1334. - $12,278. That's terrible.
- What?Copy !req
1335. You're just upset because
I made you return that suitcase.Copy !req
1336. Oh, the money.Copy !req
1337. You mean the
four million dollars.Copy !req
1338. Four million dollars.
Just say it.Copy !req
1339. Say it... Four million dollars.Copy !req
1340. It's a lot of money, Jules.Copy !req
1341. Vincent...
I'm very proud of you.Copy !req
1342. Well... Yeah, I'm kinda
proud of myself.Copy !req
1343. Isn't it great to be one
of the good guys for a change?Copy !req
1344. It feels great to be a good guy!Copy !req
1345. You're a great guy, too.
You came back for me, huh?Copy !req
1346. - You did steai a car though.
- I borrowed one.Copy !req
1347. I brought it back the next day.
I explained it to the man.Copy !req
1348. He was a cowboy.Copy !req
1349. Excuse me? I'm-Copy !req
1350. oh, my God. I don't even know
which one is which.Copy !req
1351. I'm sorry. I didn't know.Copy !req
1352. You see, I didn't
believe your story.Copy !req
1353. Who would believe
a crazy story like that?Copy !req
1354. They lied to me all these years.Copy !req
1355. They lied to you, too.Copy !req
1356. You found each other.Copy !req
1357. Now you found me.Copy !req
1358. Mama?Copy !req
1359. Mama!Copy !req
1360. Mama!Copy !req
1361. Oh, mama!Copy !req
1362. Good.Copy !req
1363. Tickets?Copy !req
1364. Thanks. This is gonna be great.Copy !req
1365. I just can't get over
how alike they are.Copy !req
1366. Yes, it's a beautifui day.Copy !req