Tru Confessions (2002)

1. Isn't it funny how people on TV lead the most amazingly perfect lives?

2. Lucky them, huh?

3. Anyway, that's me with my twin brother, Eddie.

4. Can you tell I'm obsessively attached to my camera?

5. My dad says if I could've, I probably would've filmed my own birth.

6. And my friends? (CHUCKLES) They love being in my movies!

7. Come on, just jump up there and do it.

8. You do it.

9. Denisey?

10. No.

11. Don't you think we're getting a little too old for this?

12. Come on! You two would make the perfect tragic romantic couple.

13. Jakey!

14. I'm king of the world.

15. Cut. Great.

16. I'm not doing it again.

17. Why not?

18. 'Cause we're in high school now, and I have a reputation to protect.

19. (LAUGHS) Since when?

20. And, in case you haven't noticed,

21. Tru won't be happy until she turns her entire life into a sitcom.

22. And here's another thing.

23. On TV, no matter how gigantic your problems are,

24. by the final commercial, everything's wrapped up, everybody's happy.

25. Who wouldn't want to live like that?

26. Yeah, but talk about totally predictable and boring.

27. Hey, reality's harsh. I would much rather live inside the tube.

28. - Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie, Tru! - Eddie, stop it. Stop it now, Eddie.

29. Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie!

30. Give me the camera! You are not a paparazzi!

31. Eddie! Stop it! Eddie! Stop it!

32. Hey, hey, hey, hey, stop it, you guys! Knock it off!

33. What is going on here?

34. He came jumping out at us, shooting this thing off in our faces.

35. Um, maybe we ought to take off.

36. No, come on, you guys don't have to go.

37. No, it's okay, I'll call you tomorrow.

38. Hmm.

39. (EXHALES SHARPLY) Proud of yourself?

40. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm, Tru.

41. That's what you always say.

42. I only wanted to be funny.

43. Well, you weren't, okay? I mean, I've got, like, big white spots

44. in front of my eyes, and you chased away my friends, Eddie.

45. Can you say you're sorry, honey?

46. Sorry.

47. Forgive me, Tru?

48. All right.

49. Good.

50. Eddie, how about you go and work on your map project, huh?

51. It's in the den.

52. Why do you have to act like this?

53. Me? If I shot a flash off in his eyes, you would ground me for a month.

54. Yeah, because you know better.

55. So does he. Mom, you let him get away with everything.

56. Eddie was only trying to get your attention.

57. He feels left out when you're here with your friends.

58. So whatever he does is just perfectly fine,

59. but I can't do anything right?

60. Is that what I just said?

61. You don't have to say it. It's totally all over your face.

62. - Tru. - Forget it.

63. Leave me alone.

64. Hi, Mom.

65. Oh, honey, I don't think I've had a chance today

66. to tell you how very proud of you I am.

67. Thanks, Mom.

68. Seriously, Tru.

69. You're brilliant, you're adorable, and you have the best taste in clothes.

70. Well, then, Mom, I think you and Dad should increase my allowance

71. by... A hundred dollars a week?

72. Sure.

73. Okay, here's the deal.

74. The more I wish my life could be like a sitcom,

75. the more it turns into a soap opera.

76. I mean, I can't really even talk to my mom,

77. because not only does she totally not get me,

78. but she's always so busy dealing with Eddie.

79. Then there's my dad.

80. Do you know he actually operates on people's brains?

81. Ew. That's, how gross?

82. Anyway, he's hardly ever here,

83. and frankly, sometimes I think he likes it better that way.

84. Anyway, does it seem a little bit psycho that I'm keeping this video journal?

85. Not to me. In fact, here's 101 reasons why I'm doing it.

86. (EXHALES) Reason one,

87. when I'm incredibly famous and have my own show,

88. I'll put this journal out on video so everybody could see

89. what my life was really like.

90. Reason two,

91. in case foreign agents break in and drain my memory,

92. I'll still have this tape as a record of my life.

93. Reason three,

94. I really, really need something that's completely and privately mine.

95. Anyway, I haven't actually come up with reasons 4 through 101 yet,

96. but I promise when I do, I'll get back to you.

97. Fork, knife, spoon.

98. Is Dad home yet?

99. No.

100. One of his patients had some sort of post-op complication.

101. Jeez, I can't even imagine being a surgeon like he is.

102. That's why we have to be really mellow when he gets home.

103. What's for dinner?

104. Chicken, twice-baked potatoes, broccoli.

105. No, no, no, Tru, we need it.

106. - We need... - No.

107. - Yes, we do. - Eddie, we don't need those...

108. We do need them. Miss Tarr said that's how you set the table.

109. But tonight, we don't need them.

110. Fork, knife, spoon. We need them, Tru.

111. - Eddie, no. - We need them, Tru.

112. Hey, let him set the table the way he wants, okay?

113. Mom, it's my night to do the dishes.

114. I don't want to have to wash something that we're not even gonna use.

115. If it's such a big deal, I'll do the dishes.

116. That's not the point.

117. I think the point is you want to argue about everything today.

118. You know, you're so worried about not hurting Eddie's feelings

119. that you act like I don't have any feelings at all.

120. Note to self, when I do make a TV show out of my life,

121. remind me to cast somebody else as my mom.

122. Reasons why I think Eddie might be the most well-adjusted one

123. in our entire family.

124. First, Eddie would never go out of the house

125. without bothering to look in the mirror,

126. like some people I know.

127. And then, what about the way she always has to ask

128. the world's most embarrassing questions?

129. Excuse me. Hi.

130. Are these tomatoes really organic?

131. Or do you just, like, put the sign up there

132. to, you know, take advantage of

133. environmentally-conscious women like myself?

134. And you'd never catch Eddie packing leftover Chinese food and chopsticks

135. in my lunch.

136. Check out the note in totally fake Chinese writing

137. that has the "translation" on the back.

138. Could she possibly be any cornier?

139. I'm really serious. I want to know if they're organic or not.

140. Tru and everybody came home, and I was really funny.

141. Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie! Remember, Tru, when I said it?

142. Papa-who?

143. He's saying paparazzi, Dad. You know, like celebrity photographer.

144. Paparazzi, oh. Paparazzi, that's funny.

145. That was real funny, huh?

146. That's funny! It's funny. It's funny.

147. It wasn't funny.

148. Mom, could you pass me the broccoli, please?

149. Thank you.

150. Oh!

151. - Not again! - It's okay, honey.

152. Sit down. I got it.

153. It's not as if we can eat the broccoli now.

154. It's all covered with glass.

155. I'm sorry, Dad.

156. Come here. Come here.

157. It's okay. It's okay.

158. Hey, you know what?

159. One of these days, we're gonna go through an entire meal

160. without dropping or breaking anything. I know it's gonna happen.

161. Right.

162. Come on. It's okay. Sit down.

163. Did you know it's fairly common for baby sharks to attack each other

164. in the womb?

165. It's true. We learned it in science.

166. Stop!

167. What if everything that's wrong with Eddie is all my fault?

168. Mom says it's not true, but how does she know?

169. I mean, I'm the twin who was born first.

170. Maybe everything would've been different if I'd let Eddie out ahead of me.

171. My twin brother has a developmental disability.

172. Now that we're starting high school, I think it would be really cool

173. if I could find some way to make him more comfortable

174. and accepted in the world.

175. If anybody has any ideas on how to help him out,

176. I'd really appreciate hearing from you. Tru W.

177. Can you stand it? Billy Meier and I totally connected.

178. He's, like, the hottest junior ever, and I'm just a lowly freshman,

179. but he completely stopped to talk to me.

180. What'd he say?

181. Hey, kid, is there an assembly today?

182. Wow.

183. That proves it. He has to be in love with you.

184. It means he knows I'm alive.

185. Hey, guys, I've got the dirt on something you are definitely gonna wanna hear about.

186. I hope it's not about Billy Meier.

187. What about Billy Meier?

188. Nothing. She's delirious.

189. She has no idea what she's talking about.

190. She's right. I'm a total buffoon.

191. Ah! Don't tell me you're in love with that jerk.

192. I'm not, okay? Do you have news, or don't you?

193. Well, what'll you give me for it?

194. Forget it.

195. Hey, where are you going?

196. Homeroom's this way.

197. Come along, Jakey. Forgive him, he's new to the planet.

198. Sorry! Sorry. (GASPS) Sorry.

199. My bad. Sorry.

200. Yeah, no problem.

201. Oh.

202. Could I be a bigger freak?

203. Tell you one thing. If I had Billy Meier for my boyfriend,

204. my life would be perfect.

205. Tru-cy, I'm home!

206. Hi, honey. How was your day?

207. Terrible. I got fired from my job, I wrecked the car,

208. and we're a week late on the mortgage.

209. Oh, darling, how awful.

210. But why all the presents?

211. As long as I have you for my sweetie, nothing can get me down.

212. Aww.

213. Cover him! I got him!

214. Shoot! Shoot, already!

215. - Hey. - Hey, Tru!

216. Hey.

217. Hi.

218. Liverwurst.

219. Hey, so, remember the news I said I had?

220. How about we trade? Info for drumstick.

221. Pass.

222. Fine.

223. Look, aren't you the one who's always babbling about being a big TV star?

224. Tru's gonna be a star. A big, humongous star.

225. Yeah. Well, I might know a way you can make that happen.

226. Mom! Mom! Guess what? It's a miracle. It's the chance of a lifetime!

227. WTUV is having a contest for kids,

228. and the winner gets to host their own TV show.

229. Are you fully comprehending this? I'm gonna be on TV!

230. Well, you know, they're probably gonna get a few hundred entries.

231. - So? - So I don't want you

232. to be devastated if you don't win.

233. Nice vote of confidence. Thanks a ton, Mom.

234. Baby, I'm only trying to be realistic.

235. Well, I'd rather have you be supportive.

236. Well, it sounds great.

237. Okay, titles for my award-winning TV show.

238. How about "Tru Life Adventures,"

239. so it's not just Tru like me, it's true like real.

240. Get it? No.

241. "The Tru Troupe."Tru Stories."

242. "NYPD Tru."Mad about Tru."Tru Tales."

243. "Tried and Tru."True Blue Tru." "Tru Wants to Be a Millionaire?"

244. I need to keep thinking.

245. Okay, guys, write this down. Essays on The Pearl are due on Friday.

246. And by Monday, I want to hear the titles and the authors for your next book report

247. so I can sign off on them.

248. Uh, The answer, Jake, is, no, comic books and graphic novels don't count.

249. What, you didn't know I was psychic?

250. All right, I'll see you all tomorrow.

251. Mr. Taylor, I told you about the KTUV contest.

252. (CHUCKLES) Nine or ten times in the last few days.

253. Well, I'm doomed. I mean, I really need your help,

254. 'cause I want to do something original and great,

255. but every idea I come up with stinks.

256. What do I tell you guys when you're writing?

257. Write what you know.

258. Right, so why not apply that same concept to your filmmaking?

259. Forget about being clever. Go for real.

260. Ginny, I got the photo layout for you.

261. Ginny?

262. This is strange.

263. What is it?

264. I was looking for some information on music classes for Eddie,

265. and I came across a posting that Tru put up.

266. What does she want?

267. Help for her brother.

268. Really?

269. A way to make him feel more comfortable in the world.

270. You know, it used to be when she was worried about stuff like that,

271. I was the one that she came running to. Not anymore.

272. Sweetie, when you were her age, how often did you confide in your mother?

273. Never.

274. You know this is different.

275. I mean, she and I have always been so close.

276. Now, it's...

277. All she ever does is yell at me.

278. Everything I do is either stupid or wrong.

279. (SCOFFS) I have no idea when I turned into the most annoying mom on the planet.

280. She's 14.

281. You're lucky she hasn't moved out or gotten her own apartment.

282. - Yet. - Mmm. (CHUCKLES)

283. You know what sucks?

284. Don't use that word. It sounds awful.

285. Do you know what stinks?

286. Having a boy for a twin means I'll never get to do cool stuff.

287. You know, like in The Parent Trap?

288. We could never swap dates or take tests for each other.

289. We can't even fool you and Dad.

290. What's the point of even having a twin?

291. Shouldn't you be focused on finishing your homework?

292. Ugh! Don't you care that I'm being, like, incredibly profound here?

293. Look at me. I'm a doctor, like Daddy.

294. Hey.

295. Want to see me do an operation?

296. We'd love to.

297. - Uh-oh. Broken brain. - (GASPS)

298. Paging Dr. Eddie. Paging Dr. Eddie.

299. Broken brain.

300. - That sounds serious, Doctor. - Sh. Sh.

301. I'll make you all better.

302. Ow! No, Doctor! You're hurting me.

303. What's going on here?

304. I...

305. It's all right, Eddie. It's okay. He was performing a very delicate operation.

306. Eddie, those tools are antiques. They were a gift from my father.

307. When did we decide they were toys?

308. He's being careful.

309. I'm not a doctor. Doctors are mean.

310. I don't know what you want from me.

311. It's like everything I do with this kid is wrong.

312. - It's all about your tone. - Tone?

313. You scare him. You intimidate him.

314. Well, at least I don't baby him.

315. I give him help when he needs help.

316. Look, unless we start raising the bar, how can we expect him to jump any higher?

317. This may be it, Bob.

318. No, I will not accept that.

319. Each of these kids is different.

320. There's, there's no rule book. There's no handbook.

321. If we get lazy and quit pushing him,

322. he's liable to stop growing simply because we let him.

323. Yeah, but he's already gone way beyond people's expectations.

324. I mean, nobody thought he'd end up in a mainstream school.

325. Exactly, so why not rewrite all the rules?

326. As long as we don't lose sight of reality.

327. Do you happen to remember what I do for a living?

328. I face more reality every single day than most people have to face in a lifetime,

329. so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't lecture me

330. on coming to grips with my son's limitations.

331. Eddie!

332. Eddie!

333. (GRUNTS) Tru.

334. Okay. Sh-sh-sh.

335. Okay. Okay, everything's okay.

336. Okay, pal, here we go. You throw it, I catch it.

337. Okay. Ready?

338. Fire away.

339. Okay.

340. Strike one! (LAUGHS)

341. Good throw, son.

342. Okay. (GRUNTS)

343. Okay, here you go. Ready? Here we go.

344. - Got it. - Good catch.

345. - Okay. - Okay.

346. Try and get this one in the glove, right here.

347. Aim right for the mitt. Right for the mitt. Here we go.

348. You're terrible.

349. What do you say we forget about all this exercise baloney

350. and go get ourselves some hot fudge sundaes?

351. Yeah! Yeah!

352. Last one to the car is a rotten egg.

353. Rotten egg!

354. The question, dear, isn't what's wrong with your brother.

355. It's what's wrong with you.

356. There's no cure for the mentally handicapped.

357. You simply need to develop a strong sense of faith.

358. Hey, Tru. Choppy L.A. here.

359. My son sounds a lot like your brother.

360. Our school board was really cool about helping.

361. Maybe yours could be, too. Good luck, huh?

362. Dear Tru, all I know is this.

363. If your brother has a sister as caring as you,

364. he's already ten times better off than most kids with his handicap.

365. Listen, as long as you continue to support him and love him,

366. everything else will be fine. Any time you want to talk, I'm here.

367. Thanks, DeeDee.

368. Do you think Billy Meier would be in my film?

369. Yeah, maybe, if you promise to let him be the star.

370. Really, that guy is so into himself.

371. Fine, whatever. I'm just trying to come up with a good idea here.

372. I mean, all I'm saying is,

373. this contest could be the beginning of the rest of my life.

374. Ladies and gentlemen, please remain behind the yellow line

375. until the gangplank is down and secured.

376. Anyway, Mr. Taylor told me to make it about something I know really well,

377. but everything I know is incredibly boring.

378. Hey, make it about us. We're incredibly fascinating.

379. You're so lame, Jake. Get off me.

380. Okay, what if I did, like, some hilarious movie parody?

381. That's what everybody will do.

382. Well, I can't do animation, because that would be way too hard.

383. And I don't want to do, like, some hip music show,

384. because the judges are probably all old like my parents.

385. Hold on, I might have just hit on the most brilliant idea ever.

386. Well, tell us.

387. Why, so you can just dump on it? No. Make sure Eddie gets home.

388. I have to go do research.

389. Tru?

390. Where's Tru going?

391. I guess when inspiration hits, you gotta go with it.

392. Goodbye.

393. Oh, jeez. A little help out here, please?

394. What is this? Here you go, I got these guys.

395. Thanks. What are you doing home so early?

396. Well, two consultations canceled, surgery postponed, here I am.

397. Great, because I really need your help.

398. Well, looks like quite a project. Science?

399. No. The contest.

400. I told you, remember?

401. Host your own TV show?

402. WTUV? Ringing any bells here?

403. - I'm sorry, hon. - Okay.

404. I'm gonna do one of those magazine shows to teach people about kids like Eddie.

405. How they get that way and what doctors are doing

406. to try to help them. Stuff like that.

407. Which is why I really need your help.

408. Can you get me one of your doctor friends to interview?

409. Somebody really smart who would look good on TV and has excellent credentials.

410. Ew, Dad, no, I'm trying to be professional, not pathetic.

411. (SCOFFS) Thanks a lot.

412. It's just...

413. Would Katie Couric use her dad?

414. I don't know. Is her dad a neurosurgeon?

415. Dad! Dad, look! I'm doing it!

416. Daddy, I'm doing it! Come outside with me, Dad.

417. You're not supposed to rollerblade in the house.

418. - Daddy, come outside! Whoa! - (PAGER BEEPING)

419. Hold on just one second, pal.

420. Look, I'm going real fast, Dad. See?

421. Dad! Whoa!

422. Look, I'm doing it, Daddy!

423. Hi.

424. I'm doing it, Daddy,

425. Grocery Guy delivery.

426. Daddy, come outside!

427. Hi, it's Dr. Walker... - Just put them right over there.

428. Tru, look I'm doing it! I've learned.

429. Eddie, be careful!

430. - Pick that stuff up, will you, please? - I didn't spill it!

431. Did I ask you who spilled it? Pick it up.

432. - Dad! - Okay.

433. Wait, my dad still needs to tip you.

434. I'm, I'm... Look, I'm sorry, Stacia. Who's in Five North?

435. Ow, Eddie, you skated right over my fingers!

436. - Hi! - Well, then have Dr. Hollanger

437. check on him. He's on call.

438. Eddie, you hurt me! What were you thinking?

439. - Trudy, just, just... - He ran over my fingers, Dad!

440. - Dad, come out! - I gotta go.

441. Uh, just, just hold on. Here, I'll...

442. Look, I'm going real fast! Come and see!

443. All right? Sorry about all the craziness.

444. Dad, come outside now?

445. - Well... - Mommy!

446. Hi, Mom! Look.

447. All yours. I have to go to the hospital.

448. Dad!

449. We'll talk later.

450. Tru! What's up, doc?

451. Get it, Tru?

452. - Hi, darling. Hi.

453. Trudy Elizabeth Walker, what in the world is the matter with you?

454. Why can't it ever just be normal around here, Mom?

455. That was Billy Meier delivering the groceries. Billy Meier!

456. I don't care who it was, that doesn't give you the right

457. to destroy perfectly good food.

458. I'm sorry, okay?

459. Uh!

460. Come on! Here I come.

461. Come on, Dad! I'm coming!

462. I'm coming to get you! Here I come!

463. I won!

464. Did you tell Tru it's dinner?

465. Yeah, she said she'd be down in a minute.

466. Did she tell you what happened after you left?

467. Yeah, I got the gist.

468. - Mmm. - Mmm.

469. Carrots! Yum!

470. Carrots. Yum.

471. Oh, Gin, oh, these are delicious. Oh, you've outdone yourself this time.

472. Aren't they good, Mom?

473. A little thin. A little dry.

474. I'm going to have to give them a five-five.

475. Nothing higher. Maybe Billy Meier might give it a higher score, but...

476. Oh, Tru!

477. Billy Meier. A new boyfriend?

478. Dear DeeDee, you said I could get back to you whenever I felt like it,

479. so here I am.

480. I got home from school today, buried in homework,

481. stressed about getting my tape done by the deadline.

482. Mom's too busy to hear about any of it.

483. And there's Eddie, totally content.

484. Which made me think,

485. I spend so much time watching out for him and worrying about him,

486. but who's to say?

487. Maybe he's luckier than any of us.

488. He knows he'll always be taken care of.

489. He goes along at his own speed.

490. I'm not saying his handicap's a good thing,

491. but let's face it, most of the time, he's happier than anybody I know.

492. Come on, just do it.

493. Do what?

494. What do you think?

495. Hey, you okay?

496. Uh...

497. Are you guys ready for this?

498. The only condition is that you have to be totally honest.

499. I want to know every single thing you think.

500. Don't worry, brutal honesty is our specialty.

501. Hey, Eddie.

502. Hi.

503. What up, man?

504. (ON TV) Welcome to a fantastic journey inside the brain of Eddie Walker.

505. The brain is the most complex and mysterious organ in the human body.

506. It controls all the bodily functions that keep us alive.

507. But more importantly, it defines who we are as humans.

508. The nervous system is composed, one, of a series of large centers

509. of nerve matter called, collectively, the cerebro-spinal centers.

510. Two, of smaller centers, termed ganglia.

511. Three, of nerves connected either at the cerebrum...

512. Of certain modifications of the peripheral terminations of the nerves

513. forming the organs of the external senses.

514. The cerebro-spinal axis...

515. and this consists of the brain...

516. which are contained within the skull and spinal canal.

517. The brain and its memories...

518. is a thick, and dense, and elastic membrane,

519. which lines the interior of the skull.

520. Its outer surface is rough and fibrillated,

521. and adheres closely

522. to the inner surface of the bones, forming their internal periosteum.

523. This adhesion being most marked opposite the sutures and at the base of the skull.

524. The processes of the dura mater, sent inward into the cavity of the skull,

525. are four in number.

526. The falx cerebri...

527. Well, folks, there you have it.

528. An in-depth journey into the very unique mind of Eddie Walker.

529. I hope it's been enlightening.

530. For WTUV, this is Trudy Walker.

531. So, what'd you think?

532. What?

533. Uh, well...

534. I said I wanted honesty.

535. I definitely learned a lot.

536. And the music was good.

537. You hated it.

538. No, it's just...

539. - What's the word? - Boring?

540. Yeah.

541. You're right, it stinks.

542. You wanted truth, right?

543. Yeah, right.

544. But maybe we're not the only people you should be asking.

545. I mean, it's a medical show. Maybe you need a second opinion.

546. Good job, Tru.

547. Boring?

548. Well...

549. It may not be everyone's cup of tea.

550. A cliché? Thanks, Mom. That's exactly what I needed to hear.

551. I think the problem might be that you played it safe.

552. I want to know where you are in all this.

553. I'm doing most of the filming. That's where I am.

554. I don't mean physically. I mean emotionally.

555. What are you talking about?

556. I think it'd be much more interesting from your point of view.

557. Stop, I get it. You hated it,

558. I'm a total failure, thank you. Let's just drop it.

559. Help!

560. "Then, they laid down in the fluffy hay and looked up at the twinkling stars."

561. Those.

562. - Yeah, isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yep.

563. Tru, do the lamb voice. Do the lamb voice, Tru.

564. Baa. "How nice and cozy are we.

565. "Good night, cow. Good night, lamb."

566. Bee. Moo.

567. Do it again, Tru. Do it from here.

568. No.

569. Please? Please, Tru?

570. I'm too tired, Eddie.

571. No.

572. Eddie, you didn't think my show was that awful, did you?

573. It needs more car crashes.

574. (CHUCKLES) You're right. It's the worst.

575. What if this means I don't have any talent?

576. I mean, what if I spent all this time

577. thinking that I was born to have my own show,

578. and it turns out I'm a talentless, uncreative, boring person?

579. You're funny.

580. Glad you think so.

581. Tru.

582. Are you mad at me?

583. No, of course not. Why?

584. Because...

585. You never play with me anymore.

586. Sorry, Eddie, I've been really busy working on my tape.

587. Yeah.

588. It makes me sad.

589. How come?

590. 'Cause you used to be my twin,

591. only now, you're not.

592. Why am I such a loser, DeeDee?

593. I want to win this contest so badly,

594. but I have no idea what kind of show to do.

595. I know my mom tries to help,

596. but she has this way of making everything sound like criticism.

597. I mean, if I get too personal,

598. isn't everyone gonna see the show and laugh at me?

599. I don't know, everything I come up with is weak.

600. Maybe I'll get lucky and get, like, severely body checked today.

601. - That might shake a good idea loose. - (CHUCKLES)

602. I'm sure you'll do fine.

603. Come on, Tru! Come on!

604. Have a good time, kids.

605. We'll be over there cheering our heads off.

606. Hi, coach!

607. - How's my natural wonder? - Ready to rock 'n' roll.

608. Good boy.

609. You gonna remember not to use your hands today, Eddie?

610. I'll try.

611. Can't ask for more than that. Go to it. Have fun.

612. Okay.

613. Drive it in! Drive it in! Kick it!

614. Ah!

615. It's okay.

616. I don't know how any of the kids are supposed to do anything

617. with that Garret Gorlitsky on their team. He's such a little ball hog.

618. You want to say that a little bit louder? His parents are sitting right over there.

619. All right, Garret. Come on!

620. Whoops. (LAUGHING)

621. What?

622. Well, you just looked exactly like Eddie when you did that.

623. That poor guy. Like he doesn't have enough problems?

624. Baby.

625. - Go! Go! Pick him up!

626. Okay. Okay.

627. Way to go! All right, Tru!

628. Looking good! Yeah!

629. The great part about having Eddie on my team

630. is once in a while, we get this,

631. I don't know, like, twin telepathy thing going on.

632. Sometimes, I don't even have to look up,

633. and I automatically know he's open.

634. Dear Tru, the truth is, what you feel and the things you deal with every day

635. are intense and powerful.

636. That's what makes them interesting.

637. And I agree, it is risky to share them.

638. But maybe what your mom was trying to tell you

639. is that nobody has ever made great art without taking a risk.

640. And just remember, if you show your true self, you will be rewarded.

641. Isn't it weird? I mean, she makes me feel totally normal.

642. It's like I suddenly have my own personal guardian angel.

643. Did you ever stop to think that DeeDee could be

644. some 500-pound guy with nasty BO and a tattoo on his hairy back?

645. It's a medical posting site.

646. People go there to try and help each other.

647. Plus, she's totally supportive.

648. She thinks I'll win the WTUV contest.

649. And she's always encouraging me to really put myself out there.

650. Oh, hold on.

651. Hi, Tru. Hi.

652. Ooh.

653. Look, Tru! Tru! Look, look, look, it's a ducky!

654. I don't get it.

655. Your film's about Eddie, right?

656. Yeah, but it's also kind of about me, too.

657. You sure you want to do that?

658. Hello!

659. No.

660. Hey, look! Here you go, Monkey-Man!

661. Let's get the candy too, okay? - No, Eddie, no.

662. - Eddie, no. Sorry. - No, the candy, Tru.

663. No, we are done. Thank you.

664. - Tru, I wanna get the candy. - No. No! Eddie, come on, please.

665. - Get the candy, Tru! - Eddie! No!

666. I wanna get the candy!

667. Ah!

668. Unbelievable!

669. We can't even get through a meal. You can do it! You can do it!

670. Nice catch, retard.

671. Mom, I thought the whole point of doing this

672. was so that the four of us could be together.

673. Look, sweetie, there was an emergency.

674. There's always an emergency.

675. Sorry.

676. There's only so much of this life I can control.

677. I'm ready to go, okay, Mom?

678. Looking good, Edward.

679. Stay up!

680. Come on!

681. Stupid kite. Stay up!

682. Come on! Kite, stay up.

683. Come on! Kite, stay up!

684. Eddie, maybe there just isn't enough wind.

685. No, Tru, it's not the wind's fault, the kite's stupid.

686. Stupid kite.

687. It must be retarded.

688. Tru.

689. Stay up, stupid kite, stay up.

690. Wow.

691. Stupid kite. Stay up!

692. Stupid kite. Stay up!

693. No, Tru, it's not the wind's fault.

694. The kite's stupid. It must be retarded.

695. I can't show this to people. They won't understand.

696. And what if they laugh at Eddie?

697. Why would they?

698. Aren't you showing them how much he means to you?

699. Yeah, so?

700. I think it's gonna be very moving.

701. You're our mother, you have to think that.

702. My friend DeeDee says I shouldn't be afraid,

703. even though people can be really cruel sometimes.

704. While we're on the subject of DeeDee, can I tell you something?

705. What? That DeeDee can be some 800-pound guy?

706. I know, that's what everybody's saying.

707. But, you know, she gets me, Mom. She understands.

708. If you want my opinion, you have to send in your tape.

709. Remember, dear, if you show your true self, you will be rewarded.

710. Oh, powerful, loyal rulers of contest entries,

711. protectors of the deserving, servants of the talented...

712. Hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo. Let's just get this puppy in the mail.

713. Hey, I need all the luck I can get.

714. I can't believe you're sending this off without showing us first.

715. I know, but it's too late to make any more changes.

716. Time to let it fly and be free.

717. Well, it's done.

718. Is Eddie out front?

719. Yes, he's playing catch with Jake.

720. What's done?

721. I mailed my tape.

722. Good for you.

723. You know, if you show your true self...

724. You will be rewarded.

725. What?

726. Where did you come up with that?

727. With what?

728. The saying. The phrase.

729. Oh.

730. Oh, dear.

731. It's...

732. You're DeeDee.

733. Tru, let me explain, okay?

734. You can't!

735. Why would you trick me like that? To make me feel stupid?

736. To trap me into saying something so that you could use it against me?

737. Whoa, slow down a second. Wait, let me talk to you about this.

738. No! I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you ever!

739. I hate you! I, I can't believe that you would do this to me!

740. So how long do you think she'll go before she speaks to me again?

741. Well, I don't mean to make you paranoid,

742. but the Guinness Records guys called this morning.

743. They want to sign her up for their "Parental Freeze-out" category.

744. It's true. (GRUNTS) Good shot.

745. Right in the heart.

746. Eddie?

747. Eddie?

748. Where are you?

749. Eddie, where are you?

750. Eddie, where did you go?

751. Another ride.

752. Where'd you get that hat?

753. Oh, well... (LAUGHS)

754. What, did Mom buy it for you?

755. - No. - Did Dad?

756. Nope.

757. Oh, no, you didn't steal it, did you?

758. No, no, no. See, they gave it to me.

759. See them?

760. Eddie, how many times have I told you

761. not to take stuff from strangers. Come on. Let's go.

762. - Tru, they gave it to me. - Uh-huh.

763. - They did. - No.

764. Ask them.

765. What is it?

766. You like Billy Meier.

767. So? Yes, you do!

768. So what?

769. Excuse me?

770. Excuse you, why?

771. Um...

772. Does this belong to you?

773. Uh, no.

774. I told him he could keep it.

775. I mean, isn't this "Be Kind to Retard" week?

776. Oh, totally!

777. Besides, why would we want that back

778. after all three of us took turns spitting in it?

779. And then you gave it to him to put on his head?

780. What is wrong with you?

781. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you, freak?

782. I'm beginning to think you're a bigger mental case than he is.

783. Hey! Hey!

784. Let's go.

785. Hey! Come back here!

786. We're leaving.

787. - What's wrong? - You wouldn't understand.

788. Are you all right?

789. I don't wanna talk to you.

790. Okay.

791. I need to tell you something.

792. Well, I don't want to hear it.

793. Well, then you can just listen.

794. I'm sorry. What I did was wrong, and I'm really sorry.

795. I saw your posting and I just dove in.

796. I just wanted to reach you.

797. Fine.

798. So we're okay? Everything's all right?

799. They spit in his hat, Mom, and then they gave it to him to wear!

800. What?

801. Yeah, no, but everything's fine, everything's okay.

802. Hi, WTUV?

803. Um, I was just wondering when you'd be

804. announcing the winner of the "Host Your Own TV Show" contest?

805. (CHUCKLES) No, must be somebody else.

806. Okay. Sorry. Thanks.

807. (LAUGHING) I cannot believe they recognized my voice.

808. Big surprise, you practically call every two seconds.

809. I have no idea what you're talking about.

810. Tru, I'm done. Can I get another one?

811. Sure. You know where the kids' section is, right there.

812. Okay.

813. Tru?

814. Tru?

815. Tru!

816. Tru!

817. Tru!

818. Tru!

819. Tru!

820. Tru!

821. Sh. This is a library.

822. Where's my sister?

823. Calm down.

824. No, I have to find my sister!

825. Wait!

826. - (EDDIE SCREAMS) - Ah!

827. Eddie.

828. Eddie, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here.

829. Excuse me, this is a library.

830. Perhaps it would be better if you took him outside.

831. Sure, just give us a minute. We'll be really quiet.

832. This is unbelievable.

833. She said they need a minute, okay?

834. Just chill.

835. Fine. If you need any help, let me know.

836. I'll go call your mom and let her know we're ready to go.

837. Thanks.

838. Not fair.

839. What isn't fair?

840. I want to be done being different.

841. I want to be the same as everybody else.

842. Everybody's different, Eddie, not just you.

843. No, no, Tru. I'm real different.

844. You know what, you're right.

845. You are different.

846. But if you were just the same as everybody else,

847. you wouldn't get all that special help in school,

848. you wouldn't be allowed to rollerblade in the house.

849. And you wouldn't be the amazing brother that I love.

850. You mean it?

851. What's wrong, Tru, I make you sad now?

852. What's wrong, Tru?

853. Nothing.

854. Blow.

855. I love you, Tru.

856. I love you, too, Eddie.

857. Right when Eddie was melting down,

858. I was mad that I didn't have my video camera.

859. Is that awful?

860. You know, sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself.

861. You're only a mere mortal, after all.

862. Get some sleep, okay?

863. Yeah.

864. Hi, Mom, we're home!

865. Hi! Hi.

866. Hang on, I'm almost finished here.

867. Tru, there's a letter for you by the phone.

868. Oh, no.

869. This is it. It's from the TV station.

870. Mom, did she win the contest?

871. I don't know.

872. I did it. I won.

873. She won?

874. I knew you could do it.

875. You know, if kids start making fun of me

876. for all the personal stuff I showed, it's totally gonna be your fault.

877. (ON PA) Good afternoon, students, this is Principal Longman

878. with a brief announcement.

879. As many of you know, one of our students, ninth-grader Trudy Walker,

880. has won a contest sponsored by local cable channel WTUV.

881. Wow! All right.

882. The program she created, A Day in the Life,

883. will be airing tomorrow evening at 8:00 p.m.

884. I encourage all of you to tune in.

885. And congratulations, Trudy, you made our school proud.

886. Oh, man, this is so exciting.

887. I might throw up.

888. I mean, I'm serious. I might actually throw up.

889. Oh, jeez...

890. Where is Dad? Did he not swear that he would be here?

891. He still has a few minutes. He'll be here.

892. Hey, where's Eddie?

893. Here comes the movie star.

894. Oh, look at you. All dressed up.

895. Over here, buddy, in the VIP seats.

896. Hey, guys.

897. Hello? Hey, where are you?

898. Yeah, she's right here.

899. Daddy.

900. (ON PHONE) Hi, Dad.

901. Hey, sweetheart. Listen, I'm running late.

902. My patient just got into recovery,

903. and I have to check on him, I have to talk to his family.

904. How long?

905. Well, you're gonna tape it for me, right?

906. We'll watch it together later, I promise.

907. I love you.

908. Love you, too.

909. Knock 'em dead. Okay, bye.

910. We'll tape it for him.

911. Already ready to go.

912. Guys, guys, it's starting.

913. Oh, my God.

914. Okay.

915. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

916. and welcome to a very special WTUV presentation.

917. Yes!

918. And so, without further ado, WTUV proudly presents

919. A Day in the Life, a film by Trudy Walker.

920. (ON TV) Meet my twin brother, Eddie Walker.

921. Good morning, Tru.

922. Look at me, I'm on TV!

923. That's me on TV, huh, Mom, like Gilligan?

924. Only a hundred times more handsome.

925. Hey, look! Here you go, Monkey-Man!

926. Eddie is the most beautiful and profound person I know.

927. Wow.

928. Wow! Look at that!

929. Ew, it's a gross, disgusting spiderweb.

930. No. It's perfect and beautiful and strong.

931. To the side. All right.

932. You guys are doing great.

933. We certainly are. Okay, now change.

934. There I am, in all my glory. (CHUCKLES)

935. That's okay.

936. Oops, sorry, Mom, sorry. Oh, no, that's...

937. Everybody makes mistakes.

938. Yeah, except God, though, right, Mom?

939. Right.

940. 'Cause if God makes mistakes,

941. then the whole world would look like a kid drew it, right?

942. - (GINNY CHUCKLES) - Right?

943. If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get?

944. I give up. What?

945. Missile toe.

946. But living with a twin who has a mental disability

947. isn't always the easiest thing.

948. Eddie, put my camera down.

949. - Come here. That's mine. - (EDDIE LAUGHING) Hi, Tru!

950. Give it to me, now.

951. Eddie, put it back, Eddie. Come on.

952. - Let's get the candy too, okay? - No, Eddie, no.

953. - Come on, will you hurry up here? Come on. - Here, let's get the candy!

954. - Hey, is this gonna be everything or... - Sorry.

955. - No, the candy, too. - No, we are done. Thank you.

956. Tru, I wanna get the candy! Stop! No, Eddie, come on, please.

957. Get the candy, Tru! Hey, hey, hey, calm down, calm down.

958. Eddie! Eddie, stop it now! I wanna get the candy, too!

959. Eddie, drop it. Tru, get the candy!

960. Jake, turn off the camera!

961. - I'll buy him the candy! - Let's get the candy, Tru!

962. Do you want the candy or no, lady?

963. - I got a line-up, huh? Let's get the candy!

964. When Eddie acts like this,

965. I know what everybody's thinking.

966. How could you live with him?

967. Stay up!

968. Stupid kite, stay up!

969. Stay up! Please.

970. Stupid kite, stay up!

971. Stupid.

972. Stupid.

973. Stupid!

974. Kite's stupid. Stupid kite.

975. It must be retarded.

976. I was gonna go see Toy Story 2 with some friends,

977. and Eddie went, I mean, combustible.

978. Kicking, screaming, flinging himself on the floor...

979. And it makes me really embarrassed that he's my brother.

980. I just wish other people would take the time

981. to get to know him the way that I do.

982. Hey, Tru, hey, want an apple?

983. Wait, wait, hey, are, are you sure?

984. If you want one, Tru, it's right here, okay?

985. Right there.

986. If you ever think you ought to feel sorry for Eddie...

987. Don't.

988. Because he's got more joy than almost any other kid I know.

989. And don't feel sorry for me, either,

990. because I've got a brother who, every single day,

991. teaches me what's important in life.

992. Wait, wait. Hi!

993. Wow.

994. That was great.

995. You're gonna be a star.

996. Big, humongous star, Tru.

997. Pretty impressive.

998. Yeah.

999. Where are you?

1000. - You noticed, huh? - Oh, yeah.

1001. - Hazards of the medical life. - Hmm.

1002. We all become invisible fathers.

1003. Yeah, some of us more than others.

1004. Wow, I don't believe it.

1005. I mean, you were so out there. Wasn't it scary to do?

1006. Yeah. I wonder what all the other kids are gonna think.

1007. Who knows?

1008. Her opinions were dumb, all the images were clichés,

1009. and her wardrobe was, like, completely the worst.

1010. If I were Tru, I'd drop out of school and move to Siberia.

1011. It would have been much more effective

1012. if she'd done the entire program in Spanish.

1013. Of course, she could never stay awake long enough in my class to learn.

1014. A whole half hour of the retard twins? Pass-adena.

1015. I saw your show, Tru. It was fantastic.

1016. Thanks.

1017. Hey, Tru, nice job. Really impressive.

1018. Wow, thanks.

1019. My mom cried through the whole thing.

1020. Hey, Tru.

1021. Hi, Dad.

1022. Hey, Tru. Hey, Tru, come in here a second, will ya?

1023. I wanna talk to you.

1024. Okay, I watched your show again.

1025. But if people were only paying casual attention,

1026. I'm not sure they'd even know you have a dad.

1027. Sorry. I tried to put you in more.

1028. But?

1029. Come on, what happened? Tell me, I can handle it.

1030. It's...

1031. If I'd used all the stuff I'd shot, I know you would have been really mad.

1032. (CHUCKLES) Oh, come on.

1033. Well, I think you have to show me, then.

1034. You know, we really don't have to do this.

1035. Why? What are you afraid of?

1036. Hurting your feelings.

1037. What'd you do, draw devil horns on me or something?

1038. Come on, let's let the footage speak for itself.

1039. Hmm.

1040. That was something I really liked.

1041. Ah!

1042. Unbelievable!

1043. We can't even get through a meal! You can do it!

1044. Okay, I lost my temper. That happens.

1045. What am I, perfect?

1046. Come on. What else?

1047. Dad! Dad, Monkey Man! He's gonna get me, Dad!

1048. Come on, come on! Does it look like I'm working?

1049. - Dad! - I'm working here!

1050. What do I have to do to make it clear to you?

1051. Come on, out!

1052. Let's go, out, out.

1053. - Sorry. - What are you doing?

1054. Are you filming this? Turn the camera off.

1055. Hi. It's Dr. Walker. You paged me?

1056. Eddie! Stop it! Can't you see I'm on the phone?

1057. I'm working now! Can I just get five minutes to myself?

1058. Oh, for...

1059. Eddie, what is this mess?

1060. Eddie, pick up your clothes.

1061. How many times have I told you not to throw your clothes on the floor?

1062. It's all like this?

1063. Pretty much.

1064. Or else you weren't there.

1065. Dad, your job is really hard, you're under a lot of stress.

1066. Eddie and I know that, we totally get it.

1067. That's no excuse.

1068. You deserve better than this.

1069. Ugh! What do I do now?

1070. I mean, I had no idea.

1071. I mean, who is that guy?

1072. Dad...

1073. Eddie loves us no matter what, even when we make mistakes.

1074. You and me and Mom, we're his entire world.

1075. He just loves us.

1076. Maybe all we have to do is love him back.

1077. All right.

1078. One click, it's all in the Recycle Bin.

1079. Nah, save it.

1080. You might need it to keep me in line.

1081. Note to self, when I do make a TV show out of my life,

1082. remind me to cast somebody else as my mom.

1083. You know, you never had to be DeeDee.

1084. All you had to do was talk to me.

1085. You make it sound so easy.

1086. You know, it wasn't that long ago you used to tell me everything.

1087. Sometimes more than I wanted to hear.

1088. Just because I don't tell you every intimate detail of my life,

1089. it doesn't mean that I don't love you.

1090. I never thought you didn't love me.

1091. I just missed you.

1092. (CRYING) When I was making my movie...

1093. Watching it over and over again, it really hit me.

1094. You know how, for so long, Eddie and I weren't ever really the same,

1095. but, you know, we played Monkey Man,

1096. and we went out for soccer together

1097. and we goofed around.

1098. You grew up together.

1099. (CRYING) Only now, I'll go to college

1100. and probably get married and have kids.

1101. And Eddie will always...

1102. Stay Eddie.

1103. Oh, my girl.

1104. So our life isn't a TV show.

1105. I'll survive.

1106. I mean, just because in real life, things don't get wrapped up nice and tidy,

1107. it doesn't mean they can't improve.

1108. Dad is making an effort to be around more.

1109. And he's trying really hard to relax.

1110. Don't let it go. No. Don't, don't, don't!

1111. I said "trying."

1112. I mean, to quote a Mom cliché, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

1113. And Mom has promised to be more available, so we can talk and stuff.

1114. And, yes, I promise to actually listen and be open with her.

1115. And Eddie...

1116. Well, I think it's safe to say that Eddie will always be Eddie.

1117. - Come on, Mom. - I can't.

1118. - Play with me, Mom. - No, I...

1119. - I gotta do this. - I'll play with you, Eddie.

1120. Okay, Tru. We're gonna play tag.

1121. Go, Eddie!

1122. Eddie, come on, we've watched the scene, like, ten times.

1123. Let's move on. It's not like it's gonna change.

1124. I like it.

1125. I don't want it to change.

1126. It's you and me,

1127. being twins.