1. Two households
different as dried plums
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2. and pears in fair Manhattan,
where we lay our scene.
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3. Two homes adrift in hate
for 20 years a score,
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4. awash in sin
for long deprived of dreams.
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5. Once long ago
they planted seeds of hate,
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6. which bloomed to constant
battles for revenge.
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7. Soon, murder was
the awful commonplace...
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8. And everything once real
seemed like pretend.
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9. Deep within this storm,
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10. a love in two has sparked,
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11. spawned in a box of glass
one star-crossed night.
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12. Now if faithful should hug
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13. to live within the dark
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14. but see how many fall
beneath love's light.
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15. Oh, yes, the splice
of their unholy vice
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16. and the firmest grip
of their parent's rage.
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17. It'll only ever end
by one father
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18. and his apt demise
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19. which is now the two hours'
traffic of our stage.
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20. Star-crossed lovers
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21. both ignore
your elders' trivial ploys.
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22. They hold no trace
of passion's truer joys.
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23. Instead of justice,
do now hold your castle wall.
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24. Your deepest love will battle
reasons gone.
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25. All this if you with
patient eyes attend,
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26. we'll see what devils broke,
our toil shall mend.
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27. Act 1
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28. never mind the yearling fatted
calf, is the Ques and Capulets.
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29. My sister!
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30. Hey, there. Hey.
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31. Hey. Hey. That's my sister.
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32. Hey! Hey! Hey!
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33. You stupid shit.
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34. That was the best fuck
in this bar.
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35. Hey, hey, Georgie.
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36. I have some crystal meth
in my underwear.
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37. Let's go down
to the men's bathroom
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38. and snort it on up.
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39. Fuck you, Sammy.
You're such a moron.
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40. Come on, Georgie.
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41. Maybe you will get lucky,
you know what I mean?
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42. Oh!
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43. I'm your sister.
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44. You're not supposed to do that.
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45. Not to me.
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46. But hey, you know
the way the world is now
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47. we've got gang bangers,
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48. we've got perverts,
we've got anorexia.
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49. Everything's in style.
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50. If we just throw
a little incest into the mix,
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51. pretty soon the world will be
like one great big hug.
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52. And I, Sammy Capulet along
with my sister Georgie Herald
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53. the dawning of the age
of the aquarius,
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54. just like in a hair.
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55. Yeah, I'm sure, Sammy,
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56. me and you and our mutant,
inbred children.
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57. At least they'd be better
than those cursed Ques.
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58. Did you hear
what they did last night?
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59. They threw a dead pigeon
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60. through Uncle Cappy's window.
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61. It splattered all over
the divan, intestines of...
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62. I know! I know.
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63. I hate the Ques!
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64. Hey, hey, Georgie.
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65. Look what I'm gonna do just
in case they show up tonight.
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66. - Don't be retarded.
- Sorry.
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67. You guys,
after this I gotta cruise.
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68. What's wrong with
going to the Art Club
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69. with me and Ben?
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70. I got to go check up
on my old man, Murray.
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71. Why? You got to bring him
a teething ring?
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72. You believe this guy?
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73. I think it's sweet.
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74. It's like, um, Codependency,
right?
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75. It's like
being a pussy is like
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76. what it's being like.
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77. We done?
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78. Hey, why don't you come on over
after the Art Club?
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79. Check out the new CD-ROM I got.
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80. Sub-Humanoid Meltdown.
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81. Yeah, yeah, we'll come over
and check it out.
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82. Especially if the Capulets
are the Sub-Humanoids
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83. you're melting down.
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84. Every time I think about
that poor little squirrel.
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85. Poor little squirrel?
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86. Murray, you threw a pigeon
through the window.
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87. It was already dead.
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88. That's different.
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89. Hey, shut up.
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90. We're supposed to be normal
people leading normal lives.
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91. Working 9 to 5,
going to church on Sunday.
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92. Normal. Maiming, murdering,
crippling park animals,
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93. it's a little abnormal.
You know what I mean?
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94. Is it gonna hurt?
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95. This will be over in a snap.
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96. It's one
of the reasons I like Rosy.
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97. You know, when I'm with her
I don't feel much hatred.
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98. - Not even toward the Capulets.
- Ah! Oh!
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99. It sounds dumb but
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100. I feel like I have a future now.
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101. You know, a home in the suburbs,
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102. a barbecue in the backyard,
family picnics.
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103. Look, look,
I still get a piece of wood
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104. every time I take
one of those bastards out.
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105. And you, Tromeo,
this week it's Rosy,
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106. next week some other
double-d slice of poontang
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107. is gonna have you whipped,
clipped, and double dipped.
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108. You, you don't learn.
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109. Come on, Murray.
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110. We've all had to put up with
the Caps since we were kids.
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111. You'd think you were
sick of it by now.
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112. Instead I sometimes think that
that shit is the only reason
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113. you even hang out with us.
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114. That's not the only reason,
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115. just a mark
on the positive side.
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116. On the negative side
is the fact that
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117. both you guys are so fucking
disgusting looking
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118. and I look at you
and my stomach becomes upset
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119. and I begin to vomit.
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120. I really love it.
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121. I love it so much.
How do I look?
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122. Like a freak.
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123. Shut the fuck up.
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124. I'll see you guys
after the club.
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125. Bye, Trom. Thank you.
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126. One of these days,
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127. somebody's going to teach you
some fucking manners.
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128. Bad monkey.
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129. Mummy.
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130. Peter, your breasts are more
pear-shaped than my sister's.
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131. But they'll do.
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132. Asshole.
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133. I wanna ask you something.
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134. Why did you kill
that little squirrel?
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135. - Fuck you.
- No, fuck you.
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136. - Fuck you.
- No, fuck you.
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137. No, fuck you.
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138. No, seriously, Sammy, fuck you.
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139. I said it first.
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140. Dad?
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141. Tromeo!
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142. Tromeo!
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143. Wherefore art thou, Tromeo?
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144. Dad?
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145. Dad?
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146. The front door was left open.
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147. Anyone could have just come in
and robbed us blind.
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148. Do we have
any site left to steal?
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149. Tromeo, there you are.
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150. I was having myself a dream
about these cows.
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151. I got to get you in the bed.
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152. Come on. Turn around, Martini.
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153. I got an itch to fuck you
in the ass.
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154. Come on, Tracy. Let's do it.
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155. We got five minutes
before the manager gets here.
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156. I only need two.
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157. Oh, fingers.
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158. I love fingers. Give me fingers.
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159. Excellent.
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160. Hey, hey, hey.
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161. I want to give you
one more chance.
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162. Apologize for giving me
the finger.
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163. I... I didn't give you the finger.
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164. I still have all my fingers.
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165. Not anymore.
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166. God!
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167. Clean that off, I'll get fired.
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168. I'll get fired, man.
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169. Ooh, yeah!
Take those titties, Bluto.
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170. That's it, baby.
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171. Only you could do it, baby.
Tromeo sucks at it.
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172. Oh, God. Who's spoiling my fun?
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173. Hold on a second, baby-cakes,
I'll be right back.
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174. - Hello?
- Rosy?
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175. Tromeo! Hi! How are you doing?
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176. I just wanted to call
and say that I had a great time
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177. and everything last night.
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178. Yeah, I'm thrilled.
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179. Really, Tromeo,
I'm like really thrilled.
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180. I miss you. What are you doing?
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181. I'm just making the costume...
for... Cap Capulets.
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182. You know,
costume party, his bash.
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183. You got invited to that?
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184. Yes!
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185. Yes. I was in... in... invited.
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186. Yes. I got to go, got to go now.
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187. Sing along!
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188. Get away from my house,
you little punks.
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189. You asshole.
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190. - You, my friend, are a piece of shit!
- What is it, Cap baby?
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191. Once more Monty Que suck shits
are trying to terrorize me.
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192. See, that's Benny
and that Martini freak, see.
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193. I'll kill him.
I'll kill them all.
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194. Where is my bow?
Where did you put my bow?
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195. Not my violin bow,
stupid, my crossbow.
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196. There it is.
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197. You pieroni piece of crap.
You fuck.
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198. How would you like me
to use your guts
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199. to Jackson Pollock
the street, huh?
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200. Jackson Pollock the street.
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201. - Holy shit, run!
- Go, go, go.
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202. After so long, Monty's still
making them hate us.
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203. Oh, Cap, sometimes I think
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204. we should have never did
what we done.
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205. We?
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206. What do you mean by this
"we" shit, Ingrid?
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207. You know as well as I do that
that was your fuck-up, not mine.
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208. Oh, my arm.
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209. No!
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210. No!
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211. Juliet.
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212. If you keep
forgetting to turn this off,
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213. you're gonna burn down
the whole house.
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214. Let it burn.
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215. I can't stand the noises,
Ness, every single night.
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216. Then don't listen.
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217. At least tonight it's not you.
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218. Your mother sent me
to pick up some clean dresses.
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219. Why would I need dresses
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220. since Dad never lets me
leave the house?
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221. Oh.
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222. You smell like food.
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223. What'd you make for dinner?
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224. Well, if you keep missing dinner
your parents are gonna fire me.
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225. But for the record, roast beef.
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226. Eww.
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227. How many times I have
told you that cows scream
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228. on their way
to the slaughter house?
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229. You know, exactly
what's going on.
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230. Spare me the vegetarian lecture
and spare yourself, too.
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231. Soon you're going to be
married to the king
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232. of cold cuts.
It will all make sense.
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233. You know I don't love London.
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234. You know Dad
forced me to say yes.
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235. He just wants to get his hands
on the Arbuckle's fortune.
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236. And I don't care.
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237. At least if I marry London,
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238. I won't have to go back in
the time out room anymore.
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239. So it doesn't matter
if I don't love him.
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240. I really never loved anybody.
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241. Let me ease your pain.
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242. Ness, sometimes
when you touch me,
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243. I dream about men.
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244. It's okay to dream.
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245. Not in this house.
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246. It'll almost make you die.
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247. To make
your choice of our many
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248. lovely girls please press
one of the following keys.
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249. If you like eating shit
and drinking piss
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250. there's only one
choice there, it's "K."
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251. But if you want a wild time
with a very young girl...
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252. You chose "true love."
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253. Please hold on for one moment.
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254. Hello, you are so handsome.
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255. I really love you.
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256. Mmm, saucy girl.
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257. For such
merchandise.
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258. Would you like to get married?
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259. Married, then you
could see my bosom.
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260. They love you too.
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261. Go ahead, you could touch them.
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262. I will suckle a many
happy children.
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263. Will you be my husband?
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264. - I love you.
- I love you too.
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265. I love you.
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266. I love you too.
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267. - I love you.
- I love you too.
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268. I love you.
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269. I love you too.
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270. - I love you.
- I love you too.
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271. I love you.
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272. Listen, Oslo,
of course we hate old Cap.
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273. Ever since
we've been little cats,
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274. I have noticed that you often
know more than you show.
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275. So, how did it start and where?
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276. How's your uncle a part of it?
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277. Once, man, they were friends.
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278. My uncle had a business, films.
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279. Called Silky films.
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280. They catered to the Art Crowd.
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281. French babes, soft focus,
lots of sheer curtains,
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282. classy stuff.
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283. He and Capulet,
they'd been friends for years.
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284. Came up together
from the suburbs of Jersey.
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285. The profits were good,
Que brought Cap aboard.
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286. But right after that,
the game got rough.
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287. Cap took all Monty's
rights to Silky films.
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288. Between you and me,
there was blackmail involved.
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289. Blackmail? Yeah.
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290. Monty signed over
all records and checks
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291. without so much
as a protest or a plea.
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292. The way it looks
on paper and in books,
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293. they say he gave
his life's work away for free.
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294. Cocksucker stole
a good man's whole life.
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295. And you should see the trash
that silky puts out now.
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296. The worst motherfucking
films in the world.
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297. Wait, wait, wait.
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298. Wasn't there more to that story?
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299. Wasn't there something going on
between Cappy's wife and Monty?
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300. They had a lot more than
something going on.
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301. They were married.
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302. While Cap was
stealing the business
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303. he also made a play
for Monty's wife Ingrid.
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304. That bitch then stuck
a knife in Tromeo's dad.
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305. A divorce right
when he was found.
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306. In my book she is just as bad
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307. as that ugly sadistic clown.
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308. Shortly after that,
Cap married Ingrid
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309. and Monty married Tromeo's mom
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310. and the lines have been
drawn ever since.
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311. And who was Tromeo's mom?
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312. Shut up.
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313. I told you way
too fucking much already.
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314. This is just between you and me.
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315. Keep your mouth shut
around Tromeo.
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316. I had a bad dream.
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317. How many times
have I told you...
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318. I'm sorry.
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319. Not to wake me up
with your goddamn screaming?
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320. I'll be quite, I promise.
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321. Pubescent copulators.
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322. Leaving your sex toys
all over your room.
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323. You have one more screaming
orgasm, young lady,
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324. and it's the time-out
room again.
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325. Now, are you going to be good?
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326. Hmm?
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327. And who are you?
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328. Daddy's little crenshaw melon.
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329. Who?
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330. Daddy's little crenshaw melon.
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331. Oh, yeah, big man.
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332. Just beat up the blind.
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333. Just beat up the blind girl,
that's what she's there for.
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334. The bitch stole my damn Harley!
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335. God damn it!
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336. Law abiding citizens.
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337. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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338. You and my ass
are law abiding citizens.
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339. Real law abiding.
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340. The feud between you two
is what started this.
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341. I got a feeling when that stops,
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342. I don't have
to clean up another mess
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343. started by Que or a Capulet
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344. or a Capulet to a Que.
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345. Now, stumpy, you ready
to tell me who did this to you?
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346. I dropped my Popsicle down
the garbage disposer.
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347. I didn't think before brrr.
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348. Stupid!
That's another thing, okay.
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349. No one, no one is speaking
one word of truth.
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350. I'm gonna tell you what.
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351. The next time there's blood
spilled and anyone of you,
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352. anyone of you is there,
I don't care what I have to do,
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353. I'll bring in a fucking
grand jury if I have to.
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354. I will find who's at fault.
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355. Suppose we're free to go now?
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356. Get out.
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357. See that, you foul bastard, see.
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358. It's sick. That's your work.
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359. My work? Why is it my work?
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360. You sent the boy to put
the squirrel in my place.
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361. I sent shit.
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362. Yes, you sent shit
to do a man's work.
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363. Hey.
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364. The only shit I see
is in the passenger seat.
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365. An alcoholic, burnt-out,
scumbag loser.
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366. Why you cocksucking...
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367. Don't hold me, let me go.
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368. Let me go.
Let me go, don't hold me.
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369. - Meet my bow.
- I'll kill the bastard.
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370. I'll kill him. I tell you
I'll kill him. Don't hold me.
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371. Sammy, get out
of the fucking way.
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372. Sammy, get out of the way,
let me just shoot this mother...
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373. Come on, out of the way.
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374. You villainous, abominable,
kidnapper of youth!
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375. Henry IV, act II, scene IV.
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376. Hey...
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377. Okay, Sissy, remember.
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378. When crossing the street,
sidewalk safe, street dangerous.
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379. Sidewalk safe,
street dangerous.
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380. Very good.
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381. Okay, okay, can I go now?
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382. Yes, you can go.
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383. Oh, my God.
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384. Oh, God.
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385. The ball
and Tromeo's agony of bliss.
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386. His balls be blue,
young men pray think on this.
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387. This is Aaron Mason.
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388. Tonight on the local scene,
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389. Manhattan society
eagerly awaits the annual.
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390. Halloween in July ball
at filmmaker Cap Capulet's.
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391. Capulet is famous
for such films...
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392. I don't know why we're going
to this stupid party, Murray.
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393. You just want to cause shit.
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394. You know why you're going, trom.
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395. Your precious rosy
is on the guest list.
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396. Moo, how do I look?
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397. If I lived on a farm,
I'd fuck you.
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398. With Juliet Capulet
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399. about to marry Arbuckle,
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400. could it be that Capulets
planned merger of meat
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401. and movies is finally
in our midst?
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402. No, no, no, no, Carl,
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403. you're cutting too much fat off.
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404. One word, more fat.
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405. Fat is good for people.
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406. That's what we like
to hear here at Meat World.
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407. Mr. Arbuckle.
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408. Mr. Arbuckle, what in
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409. what on God's earth is this?
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410. I found it on the baby goats.
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411. Oh, gross.
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412. Must have crawled through
the cellar window and died.
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413. Still looks like it could be
kind of tasty though.
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414. Bet we could make several
dozen hot dogs out of it.
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415. Why don't you throw it in with
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416. the pig snouts, tails,
and hooves?
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417. Yes sir.
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418. Juliet.
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419. What do you think
of my milkman costume, Juliet?
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420. It's very nice, London.
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421. It's so great, just great
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422. that you came to pick me up
for the party tonight.
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423. Oh, jeez.
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424. I almost forgot.
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425. I got you a gift.
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426. I finally figured out something
to do with those pigs' ears.
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427. It's new and oh so delicioso
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428. and you're gonna be
the first one to try it out.
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429. It's raisin loaf.
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430. It's like olive loaf
but it's not.
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431. It's raisin loaf.
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432. Why? Because there are
raisins in it.
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433. Oh, wow!
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434. It totally blows my mind.
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435. Nobody's ever made
a raisin loaf before, Juliet.
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436. No.
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437. Here, try a slice.
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438. Uh, London!
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439. I'm macrobiotic.
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440. You're bionic?
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441. No, I'm macrobiotic.
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442. It's a strict
vegetarian lifestyle.
Copy !req
443. You're... you're a vegetarian?
Copy !req
444. Yes.
I have been for quite some...
Copy !req
445. A vegetarian!
Copy !req
446. London?
Copy !req
447. I think we better get going now.
Copy !req
448. Name?
Copy !req
449. Go right inside, man.
Copy !req
450. Hey, Giovani. That's beautiful.
Copy !req
451. Oh, can't anybody clean up
nothing around?
Copy !req
452. I mean, we got
rich people coming.
Copy !req
453. Friends, the Arbuckles coming
tonight, put it under the gully.
Copy !req
454. They don't know I'm a pervert.
Copy !req
455. Fucking Capulets.
Copy !req
456. Look at all this food, Murray.
Copy !req
457. I wonder where Rosy is.
Copy !req
458. Rosy, it's me.
Copy !req
459. I made it.
Copy !req
460. Bet you didn't expect
to see me here.
Copy !req
461. Tromeo?
Copy !req
462. Uh, hi.
Copy !req
463. What's up?
Copy !req
464. Sorry, need this chair.
Copy !req
465. I didn't think you were coming.
Copy !req
466. Tromeo,
this is Bluto Fitzgibbon.
Copy !req
467. Bluto, that's Tromeo.
Copy !req
468. How are you doing there,
little man?
Copy !req
469. Come on, this is not a big deal.
Copy !req
470. Oh, come on.
Copy !req
471. Look, look, hey, hey.
Copy !req
472. Let's go upstairs
and steal from the rich people.
Copy !req
473. You always love it when we steal
from the rich people.
Copy !req
474. Ah? Right?
Copy !req
475. Yeah.
Copy !req
476. So life returns
to my pal's dead body.
Copy !req
477. Listen, I'm going
to jerk off in my hand
Copy !req
478. and go swish around
in the punch bowl.
Copy !req
479. I'll meet you upstairs in five.
Copy !req
480. Oh, she doth teach
the torches to burn bright.
Copy !req
481. It seems she hangs
upon the cheek of night
Copy !req
482. like a rich barbell
in a thrasher's ear.
Copy !req
483. Beauty too rich for use,
for earth too dear.
Copy !req
484. Did my heart love till now?
Copy !req
485. Forswear it, sight.
Copy !req
486. For I ne'er saw true beauty
till this night.
Copy !req
487. Hey, Juliet!
Copy !req
488. My little hen cheese.
Copy !req
489. Can I have this dance?
Copy !req
490. Okay.
Copy !req
491. Oh, a dirty.
Copy !req
492. Oh, Monty and Ingrid
and a tiny infant.
Copy !req
493. A cow.
Copy !req
494. Who are you, cow?
Copy !req
495. My name is Tromeo.
Copy !req
496. Strange name.
Copy !req
497. Yes.
Copy !req
498. Excuse me, we're trying
to dance here, my friend.
Copy !req
499. And you're doing a very
good job of it, friend.
Copy !req
500. What is your name?
Copy !req
501. It might be Juliet.
Copy !req
502. Juliet.
Copy !req
503. Excuse me, this is my fiancee.
Copy !req
504. You're harassing.
Copy !req
505. Are you a friend
of the Capulets?
Copy !req
506. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
507. The Capulet girl,
she invited me.
Copy !req
508. We've been friends
for many years.
Copy !req
509. Right.
Copy !req
510. Do you mind
if I pick this next dance?
Copy !req
511. Well, actually Juliet and I
Copy !req
512. were just right now
going to dance.
Copy !req
513. All right.
Copy !req
514. Your face?
Copy !req
515. May I see your face?
Copy !req
516. If I profane
Copy !req
517. with my unworthiest hand
the holy shrine.
Copy !req
518. The gentle sin is this.
Copy !req
519. My lips, two blushing pilgrims,
ready stand to smooth
Copy !req
520. that rough touch
with a tender kiss.
Copy !req
521. Good pilgrim,
you do wrong your hand too much,
Copy !req
522. well mannerly
devotion shows in this,
Copy !req
523. for saints have hands that
pilgrims' hands do touch,
Copy !req
524. and palm to palm
is holy Palmers' kiss.
Copy !req
525. Have not saints lips,
and holy Palmers too?
Copy !req
526. Ay, pilgrim, lips that
they must use in prayer.
Copy !req
527. O, then, dear Saint,
let lips do what hands do,
Copy !req
528. they pray.
Copy !req
529. Thus from my lips,
by thine, my sin is purged.
Copy !req
530. What the fuck?
Copy !req
531. Que, take your goddamn tongue
Copy !req
532. out of my goddamn
cousin's mouth.
Copy !req
533. - Cousin?
- Que?
Copy !req
534. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
Copy !req
535. Juliet,
Tromeo is Monty Que's son.
Copy !req
536. My only love
sprung from my only hate.
Copy !req
537. Act III, love
in the glass box revealed.
Copy !req
538. You played
a very funny joke
Copy !req
539. on that Juliet chick.
Copy !req
540. She bought every word you said.
Copy !req
541. You ought to be a thespian.
Copy !req
542. It totally reminds me
of that time
Copy !req
543. in the sixth grade when you
talked Mara Murphy
Copy !req
544. into taking her panties off
Copy !req
545. and then you pushed her out
in the hall in front of
Copy !req
546. all the larger children
Copy !req
547. and they were laughing
amongst themselves.
Copy !req
548. Oh, no. Oh, no,
you cannot be serious.
Copy !req
549. I had never seen her, Murray,
or even heard her name.
Copy !req
550. I can't.
Copy !req
551. My Juliet.
Copy !req
552. Let me bathe in your
breath and your skin.
Copy !req
553. Tromeo.
Copy !req
554. My lover. My first man.
Copy !req
555. Yes.
Copy !req
556. Together you and I will
replenish the world.
Copy !req
557. Kill hunger and thirst and hate.
Copy !req
558. And we're the new era of grace!
Copy !req
559. Oh, God.
Copy !req
560. You horny little cow.
Copy !req
561. Probably dreaming of getting
fucked in the ass, hmm?
Copy !req
562. Butt plug.
Copy !req
563. You and your teenage
punk rock friends
Copy !req
564. and all those juices coming out
of every orifice in your body.
Copy !req
565. You fuck pods make me sick.
Copy !req
566. I've told you
a thousand times... You slut.
Copy !req
567. Sorry.
Copy !req
568. You fucking bitch.
Copy !req
569. Move it!
Copy !req
570. Turn around!
Copy !req
571. Let there be light.
Copy !req
572. Daddy's little crenshaw melon.
Copy !req
573. How much sharper
than a serpent's tooth
Copy !req
574. it is to have a thankless child?
Copy !req
575. Get in. Get in.
Copy !req
576. Put on the suit.
Copy !req
577. The suit, the band
only little girls wear.
Copy !req
578. Open the door.
Don't dirty the glass.
Copy !req
579. Juliet.
Copy !req
580. Juliet, children should behave
themselves, my sweet.
Copy !req
581. All women should.
Copy !req
582. That's what they're here to do.
Copy !req
583. Remember the next time
that you are going to scream
Copy !req
584. in your sleep
Copy !req
585. that this is where
all dreams will lead.
Copy !req
586. It's the middle door upstairs.
Copy !req
587. I know how you feel about her.
Copy !req
588. I feel it too.
Copy !req
589. She feels that way about you.
Copy !req
590. Watch the second step,
it's loose.
Copy !req
591. What light from yonder
plexiglass breaks?
Copy !req
592. It is a right angled cosmos.
Copy !req
593. And Juliet is its sun.
Copy !req
594. See how she leans
her cheek upon her hand.
Copy !req
595. Oh, that I were
a glove upon that hand,
Copy !req
596. that I might touch that cheek.
Copy !req
597. Wake up, fair sun.
Copy !req
598. Wake.
Copy !req
599. - Tromeo.
- Oh, I did not mean to frighten you.
Copy !req
600. I'm waking from
a nightmare into a dream.
Copy !req
601. But I'm real.
Copy !req
602. See, the breath.
Copy !req
603. Are you angry?
Copy !req
604. Are you angry that I'm a Que?
Copy !req
605. Do you hate me for my name?
Copy !req
606. What's in a name?
Copy !req
607. That which we call a rose by any
other name would smell as sweet.
Copy !req
608. So Tromeo would,
were he not Tromeo call'd,
Copy !req
609. retain the dear perfection
which he owns without the title.
Copy !req
610. Let's go tonight.
Copy !req
611. Come with me.
Copy !req
612. You could come in.
Copy !req
613. But your father.
Copy !req
614. He never comes back until after
the Regis & Kathie Lee show.
Copy !req
615. And this room was soundproofed
when I was eight.
Copy !req
616. He didn't want the neighbors
to hear me scream.
Copy !req
617. And so he puts me in here
when things go wrong.
Copy !req
618. I think it's sick.
Copy !req
619. You're 18, aren't you?
Copy !req
620. So why haven't you left?
Copy !req
621. This is the only life I know.
Copy !req
622. What seems cruel to others
is normal to me.
Copy !req
623. I guess my life
is sort of unnatural, too.
Copy !req
624. Violent, you know?
Copy !req
625. Maybe both of us are warped.
Copy !req
626. It's like if you have been
told a curved line is straight
Copy !req
627. your whole life,
you start to believe it.
Copy !req
628. Maybe we're more afraid
of the risk of something
Copy !req
629. new than at staying
Copy !req
630. with something
you hate that's familiar.
Copy !req
631. Day...
Copy !req
632. Music...
Copy !req
633. The Regis & Kathy Lee theme.
Copy !req
634. Tromeo, wake up.
Copy !req
635. You must go. You must go now.
Copy !req
636. No.
No, if my father finds you...
Copy !req
637. Wait. Where can we meet?
Copy !req
638. We'll meet tonight?
Copy !req
639. Oh, why?
Copy !req
640. You look like you've seen
a Sub-Humanoid.
Copy !req
641. His name is London Arbuckle.
Copy !req
642. Tromeo, I'm supposed
to be married.
Copy !req
643. From my heart it is
so far, but my father would
Copy !req
644. rather see me dead than lose
a billionaire son-in-law
Copy !req
645. grown rich on steak tartar.
Copy !req
646. When is it supposed to happen?
Copy !req
647. - Thursday.
- Thursday?
Copy !req
648. Then marry me before then.
Copy !req
649. What?
Copy !req
650. Yes, marry me,
you can't be forced
Copy !req
651. into a marriage
if you're already in one.
Copy !req
652. You don't need to save me,
Tromeo.
Copy !req
653. If I said I was doing it
to save you,
Copy !req
654. it would only be making excuses
for my real desire.
Copy !req
655. - Really?
- Yes.
Copy !req
656. Then yes.
Copy !req
657. You are wonderful!
Copy !req
658. Okay.
Copy !req
659. Oh, wait.
Copy !req
660. Before you go.
Copy !req
661. Juliet, prince meatball is here.
Copy !req
662. Oh, boy!
Copy !req
663. Yeah.
Copy !req
664. Hi, dear.
Copy !req
665. I brought you some flowers
and something else.
Copy !req
666. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
667. I bet you were gonna say
Copy !req
668. you wish
we had honeymoon tickets
Copy !req
669. to Swanzey, Wales, to see
Copy !req
670. one of the largest cattle
herds in the world.
Copy !req
671. 'Cause look what I have here.
Copy !req
672. We're going to Swanzey!
Copy !req
673. No.
Copy !req
674. London,
I don't know how to say this.
Copy !req
675. Oh, look, aisle seats,
Copy !req
676. so we can go to the bathroom
anytime we want.
Copy !req
677. I think you are
a very nice person.
Copy !req
678. Look at all the cows.
Moo, moo, moo, moo.
Copy !req
679. But I can't marry you.
Copy !req
680. What?
Copy !req
681. I'm sorry but there's
somebody else.
Copy !req
682. Oh, God!
Copy !req
683. Of course, this would happen.
Copy !req
684. You think I'm ugly, don't you?
Copy !req
685. No, I don't!
Copy !req
686. London! London, don't do that!
Copy !req
687. I'm so ugly and stupid!
Copy !req
688. I'm sorry, Mom and Dad,
I know you hate me!
Copy !req
689. - I won't take no for an answer.
- London!
Copy !req
690. And so Jesus said
if you have faith
Copy !req
691. there will be bread
and bread there is.
Copy !req
692. Bread, my children.
Copy !req
693. Yes, bread indeed.
Copy !req
694. Bread indeed.
Copy !req
695. Faith to you, faith to you all.
Copy !req
696. Yes, faith to you.
Copy !req
697. Father!
Copy !req
698. Young Que!
Copy !req
699. My good man, will you be so kind
Copy !req
700. as to hand
the rest of these out?
Copy !req
701. Of course, Father.
Copy !req
702. Tromeo, I thought...
Copy !req
703. Tromeo, I thought you never
woke before noon.
Copy !req
704. It's morning to you, Father,
but a late, late night to me.
Copy !req
705. Scantily clad table dancers
again, eh, my boy?
Copy !req
706. Tromeo,
I miss you in the confessional.
Copy !req
707. You were the most entertaining
Copy !req
708. if not quite the most
repentant of my parishioners.
Copy !req
709. Tell me, son, why do you have
that stupid look on your face?
Copy !req
710. A woman, Father.
Copy !req
711. A woman?
Copy !req
712. She is... unreal!
Copy !req
713. And you know her I think.
Juliet.
Copy !req
714. Juliet?
Copy !req
715. Capulet.
Copy !req
716. Juliet Capulet.
Copy !req
717. Capulet?
Copy !req
718. I know. I know I've had
problems with them before,
Copy !req
719. but no longer, Father.
Copy !req
720. I pledge.
I've got a new lease on life.
Copy !req
721. Or life has a new lease on you.
Copy !req
722. Tromeo, as you realize
I've known your father
Copy !req
723. and Juliet's father for years.
Copy !req
724. Son, Cap just talked to me
about her marrying another man.
Copy !req
725. Father, her dad doesn't know
but she doesn't love Arbuckle.
Copy !req
726. Juliet and I,
we want to be married.
Copy !req
727. Father,
it can't be a coincidence
Copy !req
728. that I saw you here
this morning.
Copy !req
729. Father, tonight.
Copy !req
730. Tonight?
Copy !req
731. He said he would call.
Copy !req
732. Looks like Tromeo...
Copy !req
733. Yes, oh, yes, say my name again.
Copy !req
734. Okay, I'm fucking finished one.
Copy !req
735. I'm fucking finished one
real good.
Copy !req
736. Yes!
Copy !req
737. Shit.
Copy !req
738. That's right.
Copy !req
739. We're having major sex.
Copy !req
740. Tromeo.
Copy !req
741. Hmm, Tromeo.
Copy !req
742. Jiminy Christmas!
Copy !req
743. Yes, yes, I'm coming!
Copy !req
744. Yippie yahoo!
Copy !req
745. Sing it to the world!
Copy !req
746. Tromeo's coming, yippie yahoo!
Copy !req
747. Oh, Tromeo.
Copy !req
748. You done?
Copy !req
749. Hello.
Copy !req
750. Juliet.
Copy !req
751. Tromeo.
Copy !req
752. Hi, I have been trying to call
but your phone's been busy.
Copy !req
753. Oh?
Copy !req
754. Have you changed your mind?
Copy !req
755. Oh, no, oh, no.
Copy !req
756. Juliet, please
let rich music's tongue
Copy !req
757. unfold the imagined happiness
Copy !req
758. that both receive in either
by this dear encounter.
Copy !req
759. Oh, my true love
has grown to such excess.
Copy !req
760. When should we do it?
Copy !req
761. Tonight.
Copy !req
762. Tonight?
Copy !req
763. - Yes.
- Yes.
Copy !req
764. What's that noise?
Copy !req
765. Now kiss the bride.
Copy !req
766. I just have to figure out
Copy !req
767. how to tell them without
getting one of us killed.
Copy !req
768. I don't want to go.
Copy !req
769. Bye.
Copy !req
770. Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Copy !req
771. Totally sucks.
Copy !req
772. Act IV. Kill, Tromeo.
Kill and be resolved.
Copy !req
773. Arbuckle,
what the hell are you doing?
Copy !req
774. You're fucking yourself up.
Copy !req
775. Vic, fat boy.
Copy !req
776. Get out! Leave me alone!
Copy !req
777. Why?
Copy !req
778. Oh, God, it's Juliet!
Copy !req
779. Juliet!
Copy !req
780. What'd you do to my cousin?
Copy !req
781. Yes, hit me, hit me.
Copy !req
782. You see, no matter what it is,
Copy !req
783. it'll never match
the pain inside.
Copy !req
784. She loves somebody else.
Copy !req
785. Someone else?
Copy !req
786. Someone else?
Copy !req
787. Tromeo!
Copy !req
788. I got to stand here
and watch that king Friday guy
Copy !req
789. and that guy scares the shit
out of me, very frankly.
Copy !req
790. I don't know.
Sesame Street's good.
Copy !req
791. They got them
cute little two guys
Copy !req
792. living in the same room.
Copy !req
793. But Mr. Rogers, that's more
on the community level.
Copy !req
794. So I disagree, I think
they're both good programs.
Copy !req
795. I don't know
what you're talking about.
Copy !req
796. We'd like to have
a word with you.
Copy !req
797. - A word with me?
- Yes.
Copy !req
798. Or better yet,
how about a word for you?
Copy !req
799. Let's see, a word
for Tyrone Capulet.
Copy !req
800. Are you gonna take this, Tyrone?
Copy !req
801. Boofball.
Copy !req
802. Dickbrain.
Copy !req
803. Peon.
Copy !req
804. Freak.
Copy !req
805. Cocksucker.
Copy !req
806. Low-so, ratcatcher, geek.
Copy !req
807. Dufus, anus, fruitcake, lunk,
Copy !req
808. fiddlefucker, dweeb, feeb.
Copy !req
809. Cunt.
Copy !req
810. Assfuck, that one's
close to the mark.
Copy !req
811. How about Guinea,
schmuck, or pussyfart?
Copy !req
812. You finish yet?
Copy !req
813. No, not quite.
Copy !req
814. Dildo, birdbrained,
bugger me biddy.
Copy !req
815. Bozo, fruitcake,
mother fucking sissy.
Copy !req
816. Wanker, yellowbelly,
hoedaddy, weeny.
Copy !req
817. Penis, troll,
chucklehead, meany.
Copy !req
818. Fruit, galoot,
fake hermaphrodite.
Copy !req
819. But what I think fits
you most, is bitch.
Copy !req
820. - Isn't about to be my...
- Fucking get him.
Copy !req
821. We just wanted to track
down Tromeo, okay?
Copy !req
822. Hey, like if we knew
we'd tell you anyway, huh?
Copy !req
823. If I had to guess
it wouldn't be so tough.
Copy !req
824. I'd say he was
in your cousin's mouth.
Copy !req
825. Hey, hey, hey, Ty.
Copy !req
826. Hello, Vic.
Copy !req
827. Hello, Tyrone.
Copy !req
828. Well, well, well.
Copy !req
829. Hello, nothing.
Copy !req
830. What prank are you pulling
on my cousin, jerk?
Copy !req
831. Just 'cause you got
a problem with me,
Copy !req
832. don't take it out on her.
Copy !req
833. It won't work.
Copy !req
834. I ain't got no problems
with you.
Copy !req
835. The Ques have spilled blood,
your side has too.
Copy !req
836. Let's call it even now, Tyrone,
let's stop.
Copy !req
837. Hey, hey. Tyr.
Copy !req
838. Aah!
Copy !req
839. Watering the weeds, huh?
Copy !req
840. I love it!
Copy !req
841. Afraid his precious cousin
has been pinned to the bed
Copy !req
842. by Tromeo's spike, Tyrone?
Copy !req
843. Another butterfly
in his cockboard collection.
Copy !req
844. - Get your fucking hand...
- Forget it, Tyrone!
Copy !req
845. Get the fuck... Harry! Move it!
Copy !req
846. Major pain, Murray, major!
Copy !req
847. Oh, dear, Harry, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
848. I'm very... I'm, uh, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
849. You're the one I want!
Copy !req
850. Fuck me. Get him!
Copy !req
851. Oh!
Copy !req
852. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
853. Oh, man.
Copy !req
854. Come on, Ty, we got to go.
Copy !req
855. Get out of here!
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
856. Ty, come on, we got to go.
Copy !req
857. Let's get
the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
858. Come on, let's go, let's go.
Copy !req
859. Hey, Ben, I think...
Copy !req
860. Ow!
Copy !req
861. When I was a kid, right,
Copy !req
862. I stepped on a nail one time.
Copy !req
863. It went right through
the top of my foot.
Copy !req
864. I thought nothing
would ever hurt worse.
Copy !req
865. I was wrong.
Copy !req
866. Man, I got to go soon.
Copy !req
867. Do me a favor?
Copy !req
868. Would you kiss me goodbye?
Copy !req
869. What?
Copy !req
870. It's my final
fucking request, man.
Copy !req
871. Fuck. Murray was a fag.
Copy !req
872. Tyrone!
Copy !req
873. Fuck, Peter, get him!
Copy !req
874. Get ready to die, motherfucker!
Copy !req
875. Get ready to die!
Copy !req
876. It happens to everyone
sooner or ladder!
Copy !req
877. It's another New York thing.
Copy !req
878. Look at that!
Copy !req
879. My God, stop!
Copy !req
880. Tromeo, you fucking bastard!
Copy !req
881. Brian, you got to work hard
to get ahead in life.
Copy !req
882. My hammock!
Copy !req
883. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Copy !req
884. Tromeo,
come on, little cousin.
Copy !req
885. Let's get the hell out of here.
Copy !req
886. I'm coming, Ben!
Copy !req
887. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
888. Put it down! Put it down!
It's dirty.
Copy !req
889. Let's go.
Copy !req
890. Oh, my knee.
Oh, it really hurts!
Copy !req
891. My knee really hurts.
Copy !req
892. Fucking assholes!
Copy !req
893. Now you fucks have gone too far!
Copy !req
894. Goddamn heads
bouncing off of cars
Copy !req
895. while long island families
are singing "found a peanut!"
Copy !req
896. Well, he's "found a peanut,"
all right, honey.
Copy !req
897. He's found a peanut of death!
Copy !req
898. Now tell me who did this,
tell me now
Copy !req
899. or God help me, I'll break
his fucking nose off.
Copy !req
900. Tromeo, Tromeo Que did it.
Copy !req
901. Tromeo?
Copy !req
902. But why did he kill Tyrone?
Copy !req
903. Why?
Copy !req
904. Because
your precious cunt Juliet
Copy !req
905. is spreading her legs
for Tromeo.
Copy !req
906. Stop it, just stop it!
Copy !req
907. Don't you know?
She's in love with a Que.
Copy !req
908. She broke off
her engagement to London.
Copy !req
909. Daddy, I'm not dressed.
Copy !req
910. Are there any boundaries
at all anymore?
Copy !req
911. Are there any lines
that can't be crossed
Copy !req
912. by your generation of freaks?
Copy !req
913. I don't know what...
Copy !req
914. Shut up! Shut up!
Copy !req
915. I will not be undermined
in my own home.
Copy !req
916. You listen to me.
Copy !req
917. You'll never ever
see Tromeo Que again.
Copy !req
918. You may escape the cops
with him, kid,
Copy !req
919. but you can't escape me.
Copy !req
920. I'll hire as many men as it
takes,
Copy !req
921. spend every dollar I have
Copy !req
922. to get you back here
and on that altar with Arbuckle!
Copy !req
923. Who I'm calling right now.
Copy !req
924. Who you're going to tell
you have reconsidered.
Copy !req
925. Which is not up for debate.
Copy !req
926. Hello, Dad.
Dad, is it you?
Copy !req
927. Dad.
Copy !req
928. Police! Open the fucking door!
Copy !req
929. Where is he? Where is your son?
Copy !req
930. I don't know. I don't know.
You take me.
Copy !req
931. Come on now, honey, tell London
what you just told me.
Copy !req
932. I made a mistake.
Copy !req
933. I would like you
to take me back.
Copy !req
934. If?
Copy !req
935. If you'll have me.
Copy !req
936. Of course,
I will have you, Juliet.
Copy !req
937. I love you.
Copy !req
938. Where is your cousin?
Copy !req
939. You know where he is.
Copy !req
940. - Eat me...
- Stop it!
Copy !req
941. Oh, Father, where can he be?
Copy !req
942. Come, child, I have
something to show you.
Copy !req
943. Have faith that strong
miracles can happen.
Copy !req
944. Juliet, you must have faith.
Copy !req
945. His cousin Benny called
and told me what happened.
Copy !req
946. I was waiting for him.
Copy !req
947. When you're done,
come into my office,
Copy !req
948. I have one last idea on how
to get you out of your fix
Copy !req
949. with Arbuckle.
Copy !req
950. - Juliet.
- Tromeo.
Copy !req
951. Tell me you don't hate me
because I killed Ty.
Copy !req
952. No.
Copy !req
953. It's my fault,
if it wasn't for me
Copy !req
954. he never would have
gone after you like that.
Copy !req
955. No, it's not your fault,
don't say that.
Copy !req
956. Juliet, I must leave here.
Copy !req
957. No.
Copy !req
958. The cops, the Caps,
they're all after me.
Copy !req
959. They're gonna find me soon.
Copy !req
960. Please come with me.
Copy !req
961. Oh, yes!
Copy !req
962. But I have to get London
Copy !req
963. to change his mind
about me first.
Copy !req
964. Or else he and my father
will be after us forever.
Copy !req
965. I was hardly able to live
being without you.
Copy !req
966. Your grace, I had no idea
the dancers were topless.
Copy !req
967. They did raise a lot of money
for the church, however.
Copy !req
968. Your grace, someone just
came into my office,
Copy !req
969. I'll call you right back.
Copy !req
970. Dreadful man.
Copy !req
971. - You had an idea?
- Yes.
Copy !req
972. I'm writing down
the address of a man.
Copy !req
973. His name is Fu Chang...
An herbalist.
Copy !req
974. He's run an
opium den for 30 years
Copy !req
975. in the pit of Chinatown.
Copy !req
976. Here you go.
Copy !req
977. If anyone can conjure
a way out of your fix,
Copy !req
978. it's that old sorcerer Fu Chang.
Copy !req
979. I don't know how to thank you
for all your help.
Copy !req
980. It's its own reward, dear.
Copy !req
981. I too know what it's like
to care for somebody.
Copy !req
982. Hurry along, girl. Hurry along.
Copy !req
983. Hey, Wendy,
she wants to see Fu Chang.
Copy !req
984. You're Fu Chang?
Copy !req
985. I'm Fu Chang, get over it, girl.
Copy !req
986. What's that you need help with?
Copy !req
987. All right, well,
it all started when my
Copy !req
988. father and Monty Que went to.
Copy !req
989. Tromaville High School together.
Copy !req
990. They started
the Tromaville Film Society.
Copy !req
991. It wasn't long
after that actually
Copy !req
992. that I came along
and the first thing I remember
Copy !req
993. was probably my birthday.
Copy !req
994. And I got to the street
and that's where I met
Copy !req
995. a woman outside and we came
walking up the stairs
Copy !req
996. and she told
the nice ladies with tattoos
Copy !req
997. to take me over to Fu Chang
and then you said...
Copy !req
998. Enough, enough.
Copy !req
999. Whatever the case, old Fu Chang
has got your answer.
Copy !req
1000. You do?
Copy !req
1001. This here is a mixture of herbs.
Copy !req
1002. And that's sure to scare the
shit right out of any meat freak
Copy !req
1003. who admires too much
your surface.
Copy !req
1004. You are not enough
the person beneath.
Copy !req
1005. Act V. Juliet made over.
Copy !req
1006. I'm supposed to meet
London here at noon.
Copy !req
1007. He wants to see me
before we marry.
Copy !req
1008. Just relax, keep an eye out
for my car outside your window.
Copy !req
1009. We'll be there by 12:05.
Copy !req
1010. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1011. Fu Chang ripped me off,
$100 for colored water.
Copy !req
1012. Juliet?
Copy !req
1013. Are you okay in there?
Copy !req
1014. Yes!
Copy !req
1015. Yes, I'm fine!
Copy !req
1016. She must be ringing up those
1-900 lines again.
Copy !req
1017. Fu Chang didn't just rip me off,
Copy !req
1018. he wanted to kill me.
Copy !req
1019. Oh, true about the carry,
thy drugs are quick.
Copy !req
1020. Oh.
Copy !req
1021. You didn't think a potion
could do what he claimed.
Copy !req
1022. Now did you, Juliet?
Copy !req
1023. After all
it wasn't F.D.A. approved.
Copy !req
1024. You are correct, Prozac boy.
Copy !req
1025. And in just a few minutes
you'll be joining us.
Copy !req
1026. Of course, you won't be
as pretty as me.
Copy !req
1027. It's only fair,
don't you think, Juliet?
Copy !req
1028. Because of you we are dead.
Copy !req
1029. You find the greatest love
the world has ever known.
Copy !req
1030. And on the way we have to
pay for it with our lives!
Copy !req
1031. No.
Copy !req
1032. As if miss Juliet Capulet
is so all important,
Copy !req
1033. and we're just little tiny ants
to be squashed.
Copy !req
1034. Oh, Sammy baby,
you got that right.
Copy !req
1035. - Squashed.
- Squashed!
Copy !req
1036. - Squashed.
- Squashed.
Copy !req
1037. - Squashed.
- Decimated!
Copy !req
1038. - Squashed.
- Squashed!
Copy !req
1039. No. No!
Copy !req
1040. Take it fellows.
Copy !req
1041. The potion is working.
Copy !req
1042. Welcome back. Welcome back.
Copy !req
1043. Turkey?
Copy !req
1044. Later.
Copy !req
1045. Ready for the big day, son?
Copy !req
1046. Right this way, my boy.
Copy !req
1047. You know, since we all
had dinner together,
Copy !req
1048. she's becoming
a totally changed woman.
Copy !req
1049. As a matter of fact...
Copy !req
1050. You'll find that
after you're married
Copy !req
1051. she'll become a docile
little bovine.
Copy !req
1052. Now get on.
Copy !req
1053. Padre, hurry!
Copy !req
1054. Holy Mary, full of grace,
give this bitch
Copy !req
1055. the speed of the holy spirit!
Copy !req
1056. Hello, Juliet.
Copy !req
1057. I wanted to stop by before
we got married to tell you that,
Copy !req
1058. that I know
that you don't love me now.
Copy !req
1059. But I feel that in the future...
Copy !req
1060. London.
Copy !req
1061. But I do. I do love you.
Copy !req
1062. No, no, no!
Copy !req
1063. Oh, you're looking at my face,
aren't you?
Copy !req
1064. What... what happened?
Copy !req
1065. It's just acne.
Copy !req
1066. Acne, Juliet. That is not acne.
Copy !req
1067. Did you see,
this is why I was so hesitant?
Copy !req
1068. My father only let me
see you on good days.
Copy !req
1069. Ugh!
Copy !req
1070. Tell me you don't care, London.
Copy !req
1071. Tell me your love for me goes
beneath the hide... I mean, skin.
Copy !req
1072. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1073. I have to think about this.
Copy !req
1074. Wait.
Copy !req
1075. I have a special little present
just for you.
Copy !req
1076. Surprise.
Copy !req
1077. After all, you always said
you loved the crying game.
Copy !req
1078. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
1079. You!
Copy !req
1080. Makeup.
Copy !req
1081. You might as well have slipped
your hand into my pocket
Copy !req
1082. and taken out
a billion dollars, girl.
Copy !req
1083. God damn you...
Copy !req
1084. You go ahead, Tromeo,
I'll take care of these goons.
Copy !req
1085. Fuck you!
Copy !req
1086. Oh, God.
Copy !req
1087. I'm going to kill you.
Copy !req
1088. I'm going to kill you
and fuck you at the same time.
Copy !req
1089. No!
Copy !req
1090. Juliet!
Copy !req
1091. You leave your daughter alone.
Copy !req
1092. My love.
Copy !req
1093. I need my bow, my bow, my bow!
Copy !req
1094. - Where is my bow?
- Here you go, sir.
Copy !req
1095. Where is my...
Copy !req
1096. Not my coat bow, stupid,
my crossbow.
Copy !req
1097. Here, Mr. Capulet.
Copy !req
1098. Crossbow, good, thank you.
Copy !req
1099. Here comes William tell!
Copy !req
1100. Shit.
Copy !req
1101. I'm going to wipe you off
the face of the earth
Copy !req
1102. like a piece of shit
from God's ass.
Copy !req
1103. I hate you!
Copy !req
1104. You sick bastard.
Vicious mole of nature.
Copy !req
1105. I can't see anything.
Copy !req
1106. Come on, he's done.
Copy !req
1107. You miserable fucking
monkeys in heat.
Copy !req
1108. Open that door.
Open that door now!
Copy !req
1109. Swing it wide.
Copy !req
1110. Swing it open!
Copy !req
1111. Move in, out.
Copy !req
1112. Get up there in one piece.
Copy !req
1113. I'm gonna be the one
that's gonna break your bones.
Copy !req
1114. Old Capulet brings
civilization to animals.
Copy !req
1115. Look upon your
glass coffin, kids.
Copy !req
1116. Look upon my work,
Copy !req
1117. ye mighty, and despair.
Copy !req
1118. Ozymandias,
Percy Bysshe Shelley.
Copy !req
1119. Now!
Copy !req
1120. My little pumpkins.
Copy !req
1121. My little joy.
Copy !req
1122. I'm going to open this door
Copy !req
1123. and you're going
to follow me ever so quietly.
Copy !req
1124. And go in ever so quietly
and do just as I say.
Copy !req
1125. Key.
Copy !req
1126. Open, open, open.
Copy !req
1127. No, honey, don't!
Copy !req
1128. I'm not Daddy's little
crenshaw melon any longer.
Copy !req
1129. Don't! Don't, sweetie!
Copy !req
1130. Well, looks like you are
off the hook, kid,
Copy !req
1131. thanks to your friend,
the priest here.
Copy !req
1132. He got a couple of very
legitimate signed confessions
Copy !req
1133. out of these two lumps.
Copy !req
1134. It's not my fault.
My father's an alcoholic.
Copy !req
1135. And I'm a victim too.
Copy !req
1136. Anyway, according to them
you acted in self-defense
Copy !req
1137. against this boofball Tyrone.
Copy !req
1138. Thank you, Father.
Copy !req
1139. What about what we did to Cap?
Copy !req
1140. Open and shut, obviously just
like you said, self-defense.
Copy !req
1141. Matter of fact, I got a feeling
with Cap out of the way
Copy !req
1142. things are gonna be a lot
more peaceful in Manhattan.
Copy !req
1143. You guys are free to go.
Copy !req
1144. You know, priest,
Copy !req
1145. I like your style.
Copy !req
1146. You ever consider coming
to work for a guy like me?
Copy !req
1147. Do you ever get the chance
to work with kids?
Copy !req
1148. Juliet.
Copy !req
1149. Tromeo.
Copy !req
1150. Come on, let's go,
she just wants me to stay.
Copy !req
1151. Tromeo!
Copy !req
1152. Oh, thank the lord
you haven't left yet, son.
Copy !req
1153. I've been as bad
a father as I could be.
Copy !req
1154. Dad, what are you talking about?
Copy !req
1155. Your father and I, we need
to tell you some things.
Copy !req
1156. What's this?
Copy !req
1157. It all started
when I was married to your dad.
Copy !req
1158. Now Monty as everybody knew
was the triedest
Copy !req
1159. and truest
of the sentimental fools.
Copy !req
1160. So Cap concocted
a scheme to exploit
Copy !req
1161. this trait to betray
Mont's nature
Copy !req
1162. by simply twisting fate.
Copy !req
1163. First, I fooled him
into thinking that the child
Copy !req
1164. was his own and like
an old mother hen
Copy !req
1165. he got attached to the bone.
Copy !req
1166. He thought never again
would he ever be alone.
Copy !req
1167. Second.
Copy !req
1168. I broke him the news
without remorse.
Copy !req
1169. Hey, Monty jerk,
I want a divorce
Copy !req
1170. and if you want
to know the truth,
Copy !req
1171. this baby don't belong to you.
Copy !req
1172. These days they can
prove it in a lab.
Copy !req
1173. Cap is, you are not
the real dad.
Copy !req
1174. So, hey, Monty,
I'm taking him away
Copy !req
1175. and you got no legal right
to make him stay.
Copy !req
1176. No, no! Don't! No!
Copy !req
1177. Third. Cap told him
how he could keep the kid.
Copy !req
1178. Sign right here.
Copy !req
1179. He said.
Copy !req
1180. On the dotted line,
this contract which makes.
Copy !req
1181. Silky Films all mine.
Copy !req
1182. And so now Monty
signed like Cappy asked.
Copy !req
1183. Cap agreed we'd never take
Tromeo back and we would never
Copy !req
1184. breathe a word of the fact
that I was your mom and Cap,
Copy !req
1185. he was your dad.
Copy !req
1186. And I never have,
that is to say until today.
Copy !req
1187. So we got what we wanted.
Copy !req
1188. Silky was won,
but I never forgave myself
Copy !req
1189. for losing a son.
Copy !req
1190. So we're...
Copy !req
1191. Son, perhaps you haven't
noticed but I'm black.
Copy !req
1192. I wondered about that.
Copy !req
1193. But, Dad, why didn't you
tell me about my mother?
Copy !req
1194. Because I don't want
that bitch whore
Copy !req
1195. to have nothing,
nothing to do with your life.
Copy !req
1196. So you are my brother?
Copy !req
1197. See, kids, that's why
you can't be together.
Copy !req
1198. Well?
Copy !req
1199. Well?
Copy !req
1200. Sweet are the uses of adversity
Copy !req
1201. which like the toad,
ugly and venomous,
Copy !req
1202. wears yet a precious
jewel in his head.
Copy !req
1203. Let every eye negotiate
for itself and trust no agent.
Copy !req
1204. What are you guys talking about?
Copy !req
1205. Fuck it.
Copy !req
1206. We've come this far.
Copy !req
1207. Oh, no!
Copy !req
1208. Epilogue,
six years later,
Copy !req
1209. "Tromaville, New Jersey,
in the new world."
Copy !req
1210. Hey, hey.
Copy !req
1211. Monty.
Copy !req
1212. How is my favorite
daughter-in-law?
Copy !req
1213. Kids! Grandpa's here!
Copy !req
1214. Grandpa! Grandpa! Grandpa!
Copy !req
1215. Little Murray's
causing trouble again.
Copy !req
1216. Hey, what's the matter, kid?
Copy !req
1217. Need someone to play with?
Daddy will play.
Copy !req
1218. Hold on.
Copy !req
1219. So this is the dawn
of the 21st age
Copy !req
1220. where love ever rules
and all is insane.
Copy !req
1221. And all of our hearts free
to let all base things go.
Copy !req
1222. As taught by Juliet
and her Tromeo.
Copy !req
1223. - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Troma!
Copy !req
1224. - That is good.
- Hey, now I don't have to read the play.
Copy !req
1225. Yea!
Copy !req