1. Your breakfast, sir.
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2. Pork bellies!
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3. I have a hunch something very exciting
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4. is going to happen
in the pork belly market this morning.
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5. Will Miss Penelope
be dining with you this evening, sir?
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6. Yes. Yes, she will.
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7. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Good morning, Folsey.
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8. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Good morning.
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9. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Morning.
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10. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Good morning.
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11. Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
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12. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Morning.
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13. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Morning, Mr Winthorpe.
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14. Good morning.
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15. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Good morning.
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16. - Good morning, Mr Winthorpe.
- Good morning.
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17. Pork bellies. I knew it. I knew it.
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18. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Good morning, Mr Duke.
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19. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Good morning, Mr Duke.
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20. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Good morning, Mr Duke.
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21. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Good morning, Mr Duke.
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22. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Morning, Mr Duke.
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23. Good morning, Mr Duke.
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24. When do we sell?
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25. I just cannot believe
how stupid these scientists are.
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26. The eternal question! There is
no question. The answer's obvious.
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27. I don't care about
heredity versus environment.
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28. In fact, I'm sick and tired of hearing it.
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29. I care about how much money
we get for our pork bellies.
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30. Winthorpe put in a sell order for 76¼.
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31. His charts say that's as high
as it's gonna go.
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32. It'll never get that high. Let's sell now.
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33. Patience, Mortimer.
Let's see if Winthorpe's right.
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34. Winthorpe's wrong. It's topped out.
I say we sell now.
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35. Just another few seconds.
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36. The market's closing.
We won't get the order in.
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37. We just made an extra $347,000.
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38. Get me Winthorpe.
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39. Well, of course I never had an instant
of doubt in my mind, Mortimer.
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40. Oh, yes, I'm sure a lot of people
went belly-up on that one.
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41. I'll see you at the club.
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42. Good morning, Mr Duke.
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43. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Thank you very much.
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44. Vietnam did this to me,
but I'm not bitter. Thank you.
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45. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah?
Yeah, how you doing?
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46. Spare a war veteran some change?
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47. - I'm on my knees for life.
- I have no money to give you.
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48. Please, anything.
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49. A quarter, just a couple of dollars.
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50. Anything, a quarter, a nickel, please.
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51. Hey, man, I really don't appreciate this.
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52. I don't care what it is,
spiked ham, anything, some crackers.
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53. Thanks a lot. How you like
a stump up your ass?
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54. - Stay outta here!
- You got a lot of soul. I appreciate it.
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55. Listen to this.
"Expect this stagnation to continue,
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56. until the Department
of Agriculture's January crop report."
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57. Exactly as we thought, Randolph.
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58. Wrong! Quite wrong. Untrue.
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59. They've given this genetics fellow
the Nobel Prize.
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60. A man that doesn't know
the first thing about human nature.
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61. Randolph.
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62. We're about to make millions
of dollars in frozen orange juice
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63. and you're talking to me
about human nature.
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64. - Money isn't everything, Mortimer.
- Oh, grow up.
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65. Mother always said you were greedy.
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66. She meant it as a compliment.
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67. Ezra, right on time.
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68. I bet you thought I'd forgotten
your Christmas bonus.
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69. There you are.
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70. Five dollars.
Maybe I'll go to the movies
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71. by myself.
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72. - Half of it is from me.
- Thank you, Mr Mortimer.
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73. - Gentlemen.
- Looking good, Louis.
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74. Feeling good, Todd.
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75. We need a fourth for squash today, Louis.
Are you interested?
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76. No can do. I'll be having dinner
with Penelope tonight.
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77. - Oh, lucky you.
- It's not luck. Todd.
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78. Randolph, Mortimer.
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79. Winthorpe, my boy,
what have you got for us?
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80. Well, it's that time of the month again.
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81. Payroll checks for our employees,
which require your signatures.
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82. And no forgetting to sign the big ones.
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83. We seem to be paying some of
our employees an awful lot of money.
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84. We can't get around
the old minimum wage, Mortimer.
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85. $50,000 to Clarence Beeks.
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86. Who the hell is—?
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87. I meant to ask you about that.
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88. I went through personnel records
thoroughly,
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89. and there doesn't seem to be a
Clarence Beeks employed with the firm.
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90. Clarence Beeks. Oh, yes, of course.
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91. - He's doing something top secret for us.
- Research.
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92. How is Penelope?
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93. Never forget she's our grandniece.
You better make an honest woman of her.
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94. Well, I'll certainly try, sir. Actually,
the wedding invitations go out this week.
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95. Good. Good work, Winthorpe.
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96. Don't worry about this, Winthorpe.
I'll take care of this one personally.
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97. - Goodbye, Winthorpe.
- Goodbye, Winthorpe.
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98. Winthorpe is a very steady young man.
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99. We're lucky to have him
managing our firm for us.
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100. Oh, hogwash. Exeter, Harvard -
he's the product of good environment.
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101. It's got nothing to do with environment.
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102. With his genes, you could put Winthorpe
anywhere and he'd come out on top.
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103. Breeding, Randolph,
same as in race horses.
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104. It's in the blood.
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105. Hey, baby, what's happening?
How you doing?
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106. Once you have a man with no legs,
you never go back, baby.
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107. I know what you're thinking.
You seen Porgy And Bess?
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108. We can make it, baby.
Me and you.
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109. You bitch!
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110. Who's that? Who's there?
What you want?
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111. Police.
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112. We've had some complaints about con
men pretending to be blind and crippled.
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113. Love to help you,
but I ain't seen nothing
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114. since I stepped on that landmine
in Viet Cong back in '72.
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115. It was rough, very painful.
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116. You were in 'Nam?
So were we. Where?
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117. I was in Sang Bang... Dang Gong...
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118. I was all over that place basically.
A lot of places.
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119. What unit were you in?
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120. I was with the Green Berets,
Special Unit Battalions...
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121. Commando Airborne Tactics...
Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion.
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122. Yeah, it was real hush-hush.
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123. I was Agent Orange, that was my name.
Special Agent Orange, that was me.
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124. Airborne, huh?
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125. I can see! I can see!
I have... I have legs!
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126. I have... Oh, shit, look at this.
Man! I can walk! Jesus!
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127. Praise Jesus!
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128. I appreciate this. Oh, this is beautiful.
I can't believe... Thank y'all.
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129. I don't know what to do...
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130. Glory be to God. Praise Jesus.
Look at me.
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131. This is too much. I can't believe it.
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132. You're beautiful! Listen!
I can't thank you.
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133. First Moses, now this. God, Jesus...
Oh, thank you.
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134. I'm so happy, oh, God.
Look at me, this is too much.
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135. What a happy day! What a happy day!
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136. Really, I appreciate it, y'all.
It's OK now. All right, look!
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137. I can walk. It's j— I don't know what to say.
I'll be all right. Take it easy.
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138. Y'all beautiful,
both of y'all, the two of you.
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139. How are you doing?
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140. - Oh, I'm sorry about that, man.
- Stop! Thief. Help, help!
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141. - What you talking about, man?
- Don't shoot. Take it.
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142. - Please don't kill me. I'm getting married.
- Hey, I don't want your bag, man.
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143. Help! Help!
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144. Help! Help!
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145. Help!
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146. He's in there. After him.
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147. - Excuse me.
- Watch out. He probably has a weapon.
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148. There he is.
Stop him. He has my briefcase.
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149. Stop him, stop him.
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150. He's inside. That boy's crazy!
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151. Shit!
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152. Get him. He's getting away.
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153. There he is. That's him.
Get him, get him.
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154. He's under the ta— Somebody go
under there. Somebody get down there.
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155. - Right there, right there. There he is.
- I got him.
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156. Is there a problem, officers?
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157. What in heaven's name
is going on here?
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158. He tried to rob the payroll.
He attacked me in broad daylight.
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159. I didn't do nothing, man.
This guy bumped into me.
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160. I did not. You knocked me down
and tried to grab my briefcase.
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161. - Yeah, but it was an accident, man.
- An accident? Really?
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162. - What's going to happen to this man?
- We're gonna book him, on assault,
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163. attempted robbery,
and resisting arrest.
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164. - Well done, Winthorpe.
- Hey, man, I'm innocent.
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165. This guy bumped into me. I was trying
to give him his briefcase back to him.
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166. I can't be going to jail 'cause some
asswipe ain't watching where he's going.
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167. Officer, I would like to
press full charges.
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168. People like this are a menace
to decent society.
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169. You're from a broken home, of course?
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170. Yeah, we was broke. So what?
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171. You have a history of juvenile arrests,
I presume?
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172. Drug abuse, reform school,
state prisons and all that?
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173. I ain't talking to this guy. I want a lawyer.
Is there a lawyer in the house?
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174. That man is a product
of a poor environment.
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175. There's absolutely nothing wrong
with him. I can prove it.
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176. Of course
there's something wrong with him.
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177. He's a Negro.
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178. He's probably been stealing
since he could crawl.
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179. Given the right surroundings
and encouragement,
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180. I'll bet that that man could run our company
as well as your young Winthorpe.
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181. Are we talking about a wager,
Randolph?
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182. I suppose you think Winthorpe,
say if he were to lose his job,
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183. would resort to holding up
people on the streets?
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184. No, I don't think just losing his job
would be enough for Winthorpe.
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185. I think we'd have to heap
a little more misfortune
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186. on those narrow shoulders.
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187. If he lost his job and his home
and his fiancée and his friends.
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188. If he were somehow disgraced
and arrested by the police
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189. and thrown in jail even...
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190. Yes, I'm sure he'd take to crime
like a fish to water.
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191. You'd have to put him in the wrong
surroundings, of course,
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192. with the worst sort of people.
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193. I mean real scum, Randolph.
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194. We've done it before.
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195. This time it's in a good cause.
How much do you want to bet?
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196. - The usual amount.
- Why not?
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197. You're so brave, Louis.
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198. Someone has to take a stand
against criminals like that.
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199. But he could have killed you.
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200. In such a situation, you have
no time to think - instinct takes over.
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201. It's either kill or be killed.
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202. Did Louis tell you what he did today?
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203. Mr Louis was kind enough
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204. to share this afternoon's excitement
with me, Miss Penelope.
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205. You're so hot tempered, darling.
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206. I would have groveled on the ground
and begged for mercy.
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207. I want you Louis, now.
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208. - Coleman.
- Sir?
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209. I think we'll take our drinks
in the living room, by the fire.
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210. - No dessert, sir?
- You have it.
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211. Thank you, sir.
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212. Hello.
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213. Oh, hello, Mr Duke, sir.
A what?
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214. A scientific experiment.
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215. Well, not at all, sir, no I...
It all sounds very...
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216. original.
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217. Well, it's your house, sir,
and I work for you.
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218. I shall make
the necessary arrangements.
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219. And a very good night to you, sir.
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220. What a scumbag.
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221. Mumsie wants to have a party for us
right after New Year's.
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222. January 2nd, is that good for you?
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223. OK with me, hon.
Darn nice of her too.
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224. Oh, heck. 2nd of January. Can't do it.
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225. - Oh, Louis.
- It's the day the crop reports come out.
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226. What do those stupid old crop reports
have to do with Mumsie's party?
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227. It's the busiest time of the year
in the office, sugarpuff.
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228. It's just not fair. Why can't you
make them do it another day?
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229. Oh, no.
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230. The Department of Agriculture gets those
estimates from all over the country.
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231. Pork bellies, soybeans,
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232. frozen orange juice.
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233. I suppose I'll just have to
ask Todd to take me.
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234. Now, wait just a minute. If you think
I'm going to let that playboy...
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235. Just teasing, Winthorpe.
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236. - You know something, Witherspoon?
- What?
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237. We are going to make a great couple.
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238. We're going to have a great life.
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239. - Excuse me, sir.
- What is it now, Coleman?
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240. Will you be needing me any more,
this evening, sir?
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241. No, I think I have everything I want.
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242. Good night, sir.
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243. I had to keep him under surveillance, that's
why I'm wearing these bummy clothes.
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244. See, I had to make sure he had
his payroll before I made my move.
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245. - Tell us how you cut him.
- I ain't cut him with no knife, man.
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246. - You told me last night you cut the dude.
- With these I cut him.
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247. I am a chain belt in Kung Fu.
Bruce Lee was my teacher.
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248. Watch this.
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249. That's the "quart of blood" technique.
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250. You do that, a quart of blood
will drop out a person's body.
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251. - Tell how you beat on the cop.
- It wasn't no cop, man.
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252. It was cops, plural. Nine, ten cops.
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253. Beat the shit out of ten cops
and had to change my whole strategy.
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254. Yo. When they brought you in here
and booked you,
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255. you was crying like a pussy.
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256. - Yeah.
- That's 'cause as one of the cops fell,
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257. he threw tear gas in my face.
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258. That's the kind of shit
they use on crowds.
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259. And I still walked in here like a man,
so get outta my face.
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260. I mean, you beating up on a man,
you putting a man in the hospital.
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261. - How come I don't see no marks on you?
- Yeah.
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262. 'Cause I'm a karate man, all right?
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263. Karate men bruise on the inside.
They don't show their weaknesses.
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264. You don't know that 'cause you
a Barry White-looking motherfucker.
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265. Now get off my back, all right?
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266. I wish my bitches hurry up and get here.
I ain't got time to be sitting inside this cell.
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267. Where is your bitches, Mr Big Time Pimp?
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268. Yeah.
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269. Didn't I tell you that the phone
in my limousine is busted
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270. and I can't get in contact
with my bitches?
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271. Yeah, the phone in the limo is busted.
What are you, ignorant?
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272. - Hey, look, sit down, all right?
- It ain't cool being no jive turkey,
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273. so close to Thanksgiving.
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274. Hey, now...
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275. You don't know what you're doing,
I can see that.
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276. Do you know who you're fucking with?
Do you know who you're fucking with?
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277. Back the fuck up, back up.
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278. Do you know who you're fucking with
in cell number four on the ninth floor?
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279. - Billy Ray Valentine?
- Yes.
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280. Move it.
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281. You made bail.
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282. I did?
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283. Come on.
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284. - Come on.
- Why are you pulling?
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285. What do you think, you're crazy?
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286. You don't know who you're
messing with, boy. Just stay still.
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287. - May I suggest using a night stick, officer?
- Get outta here.
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288. Mr Valentine.
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289. Could you spare us a moment?
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290. - Hey, man, don't I know you two guys?
- Step inside, nice and warm in here.
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291. Whiskey, all you want.
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292. Hey, look, man,
I ain't falling for the same trick twice.
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293. What, you get me in the car and
have me arrested for stealing it?
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294. Why should we do that, Mr Valentine?
We're the ones who bailed you out.
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295. - Who are y'all? What y'all want with me?
- We want to help you, Mr Valentine.
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296. My brother and I run
a privately funded program,
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297. to rehabilitate
culturally disadvantaged people.
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298. We'd like to supply you
with a home of your own, a car,
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299. a generous bank account,
and employment with our company.
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300. We're going to start you
at $80,000 a year.
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301. $80,000?
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302. Excuse me.
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303. This is a practical joke,
right, brother?
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304. Then these dudes
a couple of faggots then, huh?
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305. Well, what's my next move, man?
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306. Thank you, you've been helpful.
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307. - What about the police and the payroll?
- We've had the charges dropped.
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308. You're a free man, Valentine.
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309. We can stop right now
and you can walk out on us forever.
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310. No. No, I believe I can hang out
with you fellas for a little while.
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311. Excellent. I'm Randolph Duke.
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312. How you doing, Randy?
What's happening?
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313. - My younger brother, Mortimer.
- Hey, Morty! What it is.
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314. Billy Ray Valentine, Capricorn.
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315. Randy. That's like Randy Jackson
from the Jackson Five, right?
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316. - Yes. Yes, I suppose so.
- Yeah.
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317. Here we are, William.
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318. How you doing?
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319. Hey, Randy, Morty.
This is nice, I like this.
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320. - William...
- Billy Ray.
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321. William, this is Coleman.
He'll look after your day-to-day needs.
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322. Can I relieve you of those, sir?
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323. You get a glass, I'll give you a sip, man.
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324. - Perhaps your coat, sir?
- Yes, this is my coat.
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325. Coleman is here to take care of you.
He is your servant.
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326. - May I take it?
- Get out of here, man.
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327. Valentine very badly wants to take a hot
bath and get into something comfortable.
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328. Don't you, Valentine?
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329. Jacuzzi, sir?
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330. See, man, I knew y'all was faggots.
You ain't Jacuzzying nobody.
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331. It's a whirlpool bath, sir.
I think you'll enjoy it.
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332. Hey. Bubbles, man!
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333. Say, man, when I was growing up, we
want a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub!
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334. This is bad.
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335. When you think of love
Do your heart beat fast?
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336. Come on.
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337. When you think of love
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338. - What's he doing in there?
- He's singing, sir.
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339. They're very musical people,
aren't they?
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340. - What shall I do with his clothes, sir?
- Send them to the laundry.
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341. He'll have to have something to wear
back to the ghetto, after I've won our bet.
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342. - Well, William, what do you think?
- I like it, Randy. It's very nice.
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343. I like the way you got
the mirrors and stuff.
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344. That's very pretty. I like that.
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345. - I don't think he understands, Randolph.
- Oh, but Morty, I do understand.
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346. - William, this is your home.
- Yes.
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347. - Right.
- It belongs to you.
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348. All this is mine.
I like my home. It's very nice.
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349. - I have very nice taste in houses.
- Everything you see in this room is yours.
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350. - This is my stuff.
- Your own personal property.
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351. - My own personal shit.
- You understand?
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352. This is mine. Yeah, I like that.
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353. You know what I like most
about my place? The curtains.
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354. Look at them. It's beautiful
the way I got this place set up.
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355. This is something else. I like it.
The cabinets and whatnot.
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356. Beautiful. I suppose you're gonna
just give me this TV set for free?
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357. - That's right.
- Everything in here's mine?
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358. - I guess the stereo is mine free too?
- Absolutely.
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359. This is too much for me. I could
really dig this, Randy. You know why?
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360. This kind of thing
happens to me every week.
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361. This is your house.
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362. These are your personal possessions.
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363. You will only be stealing from yourself.
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364. Look, first you throw my ass in jail, right?
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365. Then you gonna drive me here, run
some garbage about this is my house,
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366. this is my personal rug and then you
gonna tell me this is my personal slave too.
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367. I understand how you feel, William,
but the fact remains, all this is yours.
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368. You may do with it whatever you wish.
Copy !req
369. This is my stuff and my place, huh?
I can do what I want with this stuff, right?
Copy !req
370. This is my vase here, right?
This is Billy Ray's vase, right?
Copy !req
371. I own this vase and I can play
Harlem Globetrotters shit with it.
Copy !req
372. Okay, you want Meadow Lemon shit,
right?
Copy !req
373. - Hey, man, I'm sorry about that.
- Perfectly all right, it was your vase.
Copy !req
374. That was a cheap vase.
Man, that was a fake, right?
Copy !req
375. I think we paid $35,000 for it.
Copy !req
376. But I seem to remember we estimated
its value at $50,000 for the insurance.
Copy !req
377. You see, Mortimer? William has
already made us a profit of $15,000.
Copy !req
378. Want me to break something else?
Copy !req
379. No.
Copy !req
380. Excuse me.
Copy !req
381. I just hope we're not pushing our luck,
using Mr Beeks for this and the crop report.
Copy !req
382. We are involved in a very important
scientific experiment, Mortimer,
Copy !req
383. and Mr Beeks
has always proven reliable.
Copy !req
384. Excuse me. Sorry.
Copy !req
385. Hello, Todd. Gents.
Copy !req
386. Gentlemen. There is something
rotten in the Heritage Club.
Copy !req
387. Something that has
never raised its vile head
Copy !req
388. in the 208 years of the club's history.
Copy !req
389. There is a thief,
and he's sitting here among us.
Copy !req
390. Not an ordinary thief like the man
Winthorpe had the guts to stand up to.
Copy !req
391. No, this man is a hundred times lower.
Copy !req
392. I'd like to introduce Mr Beeks
of Lyndhurst Security.
Copy !req
393. Thank you. I'd like to ask
you gentlemen to all stand up.
Copy !req
394. I'd like to ask you to place
your left hand on the shoulder
Copy !req
395. of the man to your left.
Copy !req
396. I would now ask you
to place your right hand
Copy !req
397. in the coat pocket
of the member to your right.
Copy !req
398. And empty the contents
of those pockets onto the table.
Copy !req
399. Thank you.
Copy !req
400. You may sit.
Copy !req
401. We marked three $50 bills
with red Xs.
Copy !req
402. Less than ten minutes ago
Copy !req
403. those bills were stolen
from a coat in the cloakroom.
Copy !req
404. One of our operatives
witnessed the theft.
Copy !req
405. Now, wait a minute. I've never seen
this money before in my life.
Copy !req
406. Randolph, Mortimer, this is outrageous.
Copy !req
407. What are you doing?
I haven't done anything wrong.
Copy !req
408. Oh, Winthorpe. I'm glad
your parents are not alive to see this.
Copy !req
409. What? What? Now, wait, this is
totally preposterous. This is insane.
Copy !req
410. I have no reason to steal.
Now, wait, I'm not a thief.
Copy !req
411. I demand a fair hearing.
You can at least grant me that.
Copy !req
412. Someone planted that stuff on me.
Copy !req
413. You realize you're making
a grave mistake.
Copy !req
414. Boy, are you two going to be sorry.
Do you know who I am?
Copy !req
415. Yeah, Winthorpe Louis III.
Copy !req
416. I know, I know. I'm permitted
two phone calls. Point me to the phone.
Copy !req
417. - Take off your clothes.
- Now, wait a minute. I know my rights.
Copy !req
418. Take off your clothes.
Copy !req
419. You are making a career decision here.
Now, you'd better think about it
Copy !req
420. because it's something you're going to
have to live with for the rest of your life.
Copy !req
421. Strip, you little shit,
before I tear you a new asshole.
Copy !req
422. Did you hear what this man said to me?
Copy !req
423. Now, I have witnesses.
This man is physically threatening me.
Copy !req
424. Winthorpe. Louis III.
Copy !req
425. All right.
Copy !req
426. One gold watch.
Copy !req
427. One alligator skin wallet.
Copy !req
428. Master Charge,
American Express... Gold Card.
Copy !req
429. Visa, Diner's Club, Carte Blanche.
Copy !req
430. Two tickets...
Copy !req
431. - La Bo-heem.
- La Bohème. It's an opera.
Copy !req
432. It's an opera.
Copy !req
433. - One cellophane bag.
- That's not mine.
Copy !req
434. I've never seen that before in my life.
Copy !req
435. That's PCP - phencyclidine.
Angel dust.
Copy !req
436. You ever seen
what this stuff does to kids?
Copy !req
437. You're looking at three to five,
mandatory... Louis.
Copy !req
438. What's happening, Terry? Gimme
a bottle of your best champagne.
Copy !req
439. You got a lot of nerve showing your face
around here after all this time.
Copy !req
440. Look, man, I got your money.
Copy !req
441. I got your poor... measly... $27...
Copy !req
442. with interest.
Copy !req
443. Billy Ray, honey. Is that you?
Copy !req
444. Who you think it is?
Terence, give the lady some champagne.
Copy !req
445. In fact, champagne for everybody,
courtesy of Billy Ray Valentine.
Copy !req
446. All right!
Copy !req
447. Billy!
Copy !req
448. - A toast to Billy Ray, huh?
- A toast to Billy Ray.
Copy !req
449. Well, I'm a sexy man. I'm very sexy.
Copy !req
450. People will come and say,
"Billy Ray, you're so sexy,"
Copy !req
451. - and not understand my sexuality.
- I know.
Copy !req
452. And I'm a very sexy m—
Copy !req
453. You was in the tank last night,
braggin' on your limousine.
Copy !req
454. You're the motherfucker
I was gonna carve.
Copy !req
455. Yeah.
Copy !req
456. Motherfucker?
Copy !req
457. That just happens to be my limousine
outside. Why don't you go take a look at it?
Copy !req
458. Right outside?
Copy !req
459. Yeah.
Copy !req
460. - You took care of him, baby.
- I was gonna kick his ass.
Copy !req
461. I should've kicked it,
but I'm a peaceful man.
Copy !req
462. Look, ladies, it's about time for me
to get home,
Copy !req
463. but if any of you ladies want to
drop by my house for cocktails,
Copy !req
464. - there's plenty of room in my limousine.
- Limousine.
Copy !req
465. Come on, everybody.
Copy !req
466. - You're looking so fine, Billy Ray.
- Thank you very much.
Copy !req
467. Hey, yo, coz. You gonna vomit,
the bathroom's downstairs.
Copy !req
468. No, it's downstairs, man!
Copy !req
469. Shit!
Copy !req
470. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
471. That's a Persian rug from Persia.
It's from Persia.
Copy !req
472. Hey. Hey. Hey, what is this?
What is this shit here?
Copy !req
473. Hold up! Hey, who's been
putting out their Kools on my floor?
Copy !req
474. Who has been putting out
their Kools on my floor?
Copy !req
475. Hey! Hey! Hey! Have you people
ever heard of coasters?
Copy !req
476. Would you like me to prepare some
more hors d'oeuvres for the guests, sir?
Copy !req
477. Fuck them.
Copy !req
478. Hey, Coleman. There was more people
here before, where'd they go?
Copy !req
479. I believe some of them
have adjourned upstairs, sir.
Copy !req
480. To my bedroom?
Copy !req
481. I've been waiting for you, Billy Ray.
Copy !req
482. Put your clothes on and get out of here.
Copy !req
483. Yeah, that's my girl, right over there.
Copy !req
484. Can I have everybody's
attention please?
Copy !req
485. Hey. Can I have everybody's
attention please?
Copy !req
486. - Hey.
- Hey, man.
Copy !req
487. Get the fuck out!
Copy !req
488. Good night, madam.
Copy !req
489. Good night, sir.
Copy !req
490. Good night, madam.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Copy !req
491. Thank you.
Copy !req
492. It was a stone groove, my man.
You are the most righteous...
Copy !req
493. Yeah, right. Just get the fuck out, man.
Let's go. Shit. Come on.
Copy !req
494. Hurry up.
Copy !req
495. And be quiet out there. My neighbors
are asleep, they work too.
Copy !req
496. Your friends seemed to enjoy themselves,
sir. I thought it was a great success.
Copy !req
497. They wasn't no friends of mine, Coleman.
Copy !req
498. It was a bunch of freeloaders, treating
my house like it was a goddamn zoo.
Copy !req
499. Why don't you retire, sir?
And I'll straighten up.
Copy !req
500. You've got a big day
ahead of you tomorrow.
Copy !req
501. Yeah, yeah, I think I will...
Copy !req
502. retire.
Copy !req
503. Good night, Coleman. Thanks, man.
Copy !req
504. Good night, sir.
Copy !req
505. Let's go, Winthorpe.
Copy !req
506. - Excuse me.
- I'll see you later, we'll have lunch.
Copy !req
507. How would you like
to make a fast hundred?
Copy !req
508. I just got out.
Copy !req
509. Come on, what are you trying to do,
entrap me here in the police department?
Copy !req
510. - You guys must be getting desperate.
- No, no, no, this is for...
Copy !req
511. - Is that your purse?
- Yes.
Copy !req
512. That's a nice purse.
Copy !req
513. Thank you.
Copy !req
514. Darling, I'm so glad to see you.
Copy !req
515. Louis, you're making a scene.
Copy !req
516. The good news is I'm innocent.
I've never even done
Copy !req
517. anything vaguely resembling this.
Really, it's the truth.
Copy !req
518. Louis, you look awful. I'm so ashamed.
Copy !req
519. Those clothes and those shoes and...
Copy !req
520. And you've been fighting
and you smell.
Copy !req
521. I smell?
Copy !req
522. Penelope, do you realize
where I've been since yesterday?
Copy !req
523. They beat me up and stole my clothes.
Copy !req
524. Those men wanted to have sex with me!
Copy !req
525. - Can we discuss this somewhere else?
- One of them tried to bend me over this...
Copy !req
526. If this place is indicative of the state of
correctional institutions in this country,
Copy !req
527. they might as well let all the convicts out.
It's far worse on the inside.
Copy !req
528. Stealing from your friends
at the club, Louis?
Copy !req
529. Heroin, Louis?
Have you lost your mind?
Copy !req
530. Mother wants me to call off the wedding
and so does Todd.
Copy !req
531. Todd? What does Todd
have to do with it?
Copy !req
532. You've been fired from Duke & Duke.
They're charging you with embezzlement.
Copy !req
533. Embezzlement?
I've never stolen anything in my life.
Copy !req
534. How could the man I loved, whose children
I wanted to have and breast-feed,
Copy !req
535. be a heroin dealer?
Copy !req
536. It wasn't heroin,
it was angel dust, PCP and—
Copy !req
537. Listen, Penelope,
I swear to you, on my honor,
Copy !req
538. with almighty God as my witness,
I am not an angel dust dealer.
Copy !req
539. Oh, Louis.
Copy !req
540. I've been looking everywhere
for you, baby. Listen, Louis.
Copy !req
541. - Would you please...?
- I'm hurting, baby. I just need a shot.
Copy !req
542. Louis.
Copy !req
543. - Who is this person?
- I've never seen this woman before.
Copy !req
544. Don't say that, Louis.
Copy !req
545. Come on baby, just a dime bag.
I'll do all those things you like.
Copy !req
546. Shame!
Copy !req
547. You lying... filthy... disgusting... creep.
Copy !req
548. Todd was right about you.
Copy !req
549. I never want to see you again
as long as I live!
Copy !req
550. Grand! Great! Thanks a lot.
Copy !req
551. It was a joke.
Copy !req
552. Your friend said it would get you off.
Copy !req
553. - Someone told you to do this to me?
- Yeah, and he paid me $100 too.
Copy !req
554. He's right over there.
Copy !req
555. So let me get this straight.
I'm gonna give you 20 for the cab,
Copy !req
556. and you're gonna give me 50
when we get to your house?
Copy !req
557. That is correct,
my butler Coleman will give you $50,
Copy !req
558. and drive you anywhere in the city
you wish to go.
Copy !req
559. You don't exactly look like
the type that has a butler.
Copy !req
560. You know, if you're hustling me...
Copy !req
561. Hustling you? Hustling you?
Copy !req
562. You don't think they give these
to just anyone, do you?
Copy !req
563. I can charge goods and services
in over 86 countries around the world.
Copy !req
564. Yeah? Well I don't take credit cards.
Copy !req
565. You'll see what a mistake
all this was.
Copy !req
566. Yes?
Copy !req
567. Coleman. Could you please let me in?
I'm having trouble with my key.
Copy !req
568. Who are you? What do you want?
Copy !req
569. Coleman, just unchain the door
and let me in. I'm in no mood for jokes.
Copy !req
570. Coleman? There's no Coleman here.
You've made a mistake.
Copy !req
571. Excuse me, for a moment.
Copy !req
572. Coleman! Let me in!
Copy !req
573. If you don't go away,
I shall be forced to call the police.
Copy !req
574. Hello. I'll be making a cash withdrawal
in the amount of $500.
Copy !req
575. Well, in fact, we'll make it $1,000.
Copy !req
576. Excuse me.
Copy !req
577. I'm sorry, Mr Winthorpe,
but the IRS has frozen your accounts.
Copy !req
578. What are you talking about?
You know me.
Copy !req
579. You're a heroin dealer, Mr Winthorpe.
Copy !req
580. It wasn't heroin, it was angel dust, PCP,
and I never even had my hands on it.
Copy !req
581. Regardless, it's not the kind of business
we want here at First National.
Copy !req
582. May I see your credit cards please?
Copy !req
583. - I've been ordered to repossess them.
- What?
Copy !req
584. Now wait a minute,
what am I supposed to live on?
Copy !req
585. I mean, what's going to happen to me?
Copy !req
586. Roger.
Copy !req
587. Why is someone deliberately
trying to ruin my life?
Copy !req
588. Tell you what.
Forget about the $50, OK?
Copy !req
589. I'm just real tired. I'm going home.
Copy !req
590. You've got to believe me.
You must believe me.
Copy !req
591. I have been framed.
You can't just leave me here.
Copy !req
592. I got enough problems, Louis.
Copy !req
593. Come on, come on.
Copy !req
594. Listen! Wait! Wait!
Copy !req
595. I have over $150,000 in that bank.
Copy !req
596. But you don't care because
you helped them do this to me.
Copy !req
597. Get off your knees, Louis.
Copy !req
598. Give me your hand.
Copy !req
599. Soft hands.
Copy !req
600. And a manicure. You never done
a hard day's work in your life, have you?
Copy !req
601. I'm gonna regret this,
but... come on.
Copy !req
602. Get in.
Copy !req
603. I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
There's been a grave, grave mistake.
Copy !req
604. Hey, that look just like
the dude that had me busted.
Copy !req
605. Sir?
Copy !req
606. Right there,
he look just like the motherf—
Copy !req
607. I mean, he looks just like
the gentleman that had me busted.
Copy !req
608. - To whom are you referring, sir?
- Right there! The dude right over there.
Copy !req
609. A big mistake. I'm gonna find...
Copy !req
610. - Right over there.
- That's my car. Coleman!
Copy !req
611. Coleman, that's my car!
Copy !req
612. That's my car! That's my driver!
Copy !req
613. There's some strange shit
going on here, Coleman.
Copy !req
614. You don't want to be late
for your first day at work, sir.
Copy !req
615. Man, what am I supposed to do in here?
What they want from me?
Copy !req
616. I'm sure they'll tell you, sir.
Copy !req
617. - Yeah, what if I can't do it?
- Just be yourself, sir.
Copy !req
618. Whatever happens,
they can't take that away from you.
Copy !req
619. - Excuse me, my name is—
- Yes, Mr Valentine.
Copy !req
620. They're waiting for you in the last office
down the hall.
Copy !req
621. William, my boy. Right on time.
Copy !req
622. Come in, come in.
Copy !req
623. Sit down.
Copy !req
624. No thanks, guys.
I already had breakfast this morning.
Copy !req
625. This is not a meal, Valentine.
Copy !req
626. We are here to try to explain to you
what it is we do here.
Copy !req
627. We are commodities brokers,
William.
Copy !req
628. Now, what are commodities?
Copy !req
629. Commodities are
agricultural products.
Copy !req
630. Like coffee,
that you had for breakfast.
Copy !req
631. Wheat,
which is used to make bread.
Copy !req
632. Pork bellies,
which is used to make bacon,
Copy !req
633. which you might find in a bacon,
and lettuce and tomato sandwich.
Copy !req
634. Then there are other commodities
like frozen orange juice and gold.
Copy !req
635. Though, of course, gold
doesn't grow on trees like oranges.
Copy !req
636. - Clear so far?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
637. Good, William. Now,
some of our clients are speculating
Copy !req
638. that the price of gold
will rise in the future.
Copy !req
639. And we have other clients
who are speculating
Copy !req
640. that the price of gold is going to fall.
Copy !req
641. They've placed
their orders with us,
Copy !req
642. and we buy or sell
their gold for them.
Copy !req
643. Tell him the good part.
Copy !req
644. The good part, William, is,
Copy !req
645. that no matter whether our clients
make money or lose money,
Copy !req
646. Duke & Duke get the commissions.
Copy !req
647. Well, what do you think, Valentine?
Copy !req
648. Well, it sounds to me like you guys
are a couple of bookies.
Copy !req
649. I told you he'd understand.
Copy !req
650. It doesn't take a genius
to figure out what happened.
Copy !req
651. It's the same guy who tried
to rob the payroll.
Copy !req
652. No doubt about it, that's him.
Copy !req
653. He planted the drugs on me.
Copy !req
654. Rachim, Mohammed, Larry.
How you guys doing?
Copy !req
655. - Hey, how you doing?
- Hey.
Copy !req
656. You know those people?
Copy !req
657. He was wearing my Harvard tie.
Copy !req
658. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie.
Like, oh sure, he went to Harvard.
Copy !req
659. I mean, if he's being driven around
in my car,
Copy !req
660. he could actually be living in my house.
Copy !req
661. Maybe he's even taken my job.
You know,
Copy !req
662. for all I know, right at this moment,
he could be fondling my fiancée.
Copy !req
663. And Coleman.
After years of service, this betrayal.
Copy !req
664. I don't understand it.
Copy !req
665. But there's going to be retribution.
Oh, he's going to pay.
Copy !req
666. - The things that I am going—
- Shut up, Louis.
Copy !req
667. Listen, taxis cost money, food costs
money and rent costs money.
Copy !req
668. Now, you want me to help you out,
I expect a lot in return.
Copy !req
669. These were here when I moved in.
Put 'em on if you want.
Copy !req
670. Look, I cannot begin to tell you
how much I appreciate this...
Copy !req
671. - Ophelia.
- Ophelia, you realize that's the name—
Copy !req
672. I know, I know, I know. Hamlet's girlfriend.
He went crazy, she killed herself.
Copy !req
673. This is not Shakespeare, Louis.
Copy !req
674. Look, I'm 24. I'm from a small, miserable
mining town you probably never heard of.
Copy !req
675. The only thing I got going for me
in this whole big wide world is this body,
Copy !req
676. this face, and what I got up here.
Copy !req
677. I don't do drugs.
I don't have a pimp.
Copy !req
678. This place is a dump, but
it's cheap, it's clean and it's all mine.
Copy !req
679. I've saved 42 grand
and it's in T-Bills earning interest.
Copy !req
680. I figure I got three more years on my back,
I'll have enough to retire on.
Copy !req
681. You're a prostitute?
Copy !req
682. I'm talking about
a business proposition, Louis.
Copy !req
683. I help you get yourself back on your feet
and you pay me, in cash, five figures.
Copy !req
684. That's the deal
and it's not subject to negotiation.
Copy !req
685. Understood?
Copy !req
686. By the way, food and rent are not the
only things around here that cost money.
Copy !req
687. You sleep on the couch.
Copy !req
688. It's hit rock bottom.
Come on, let's buy.
Copy !req
689. Mortimer Duke here. Buy 200
May belly contracts at 66.8.
Copy !req
690. - Put it on my personal account.
- That's a big mistake, man.
Copy !req
691. Valentine, something very important
is going on here. Just watch.
Copy !req
692. All right, but y'all gonna
get reamed on this one.
Copy !req
693. - Well, why shouldn't we buy now?
- Price is going to keep going down.
Copy !req
694. Randolph, this isn't
Monopoly money we're playing with.
Copy !req
695. This is Randolph Duke.
Hold that belly order a moment.
Copy !req
696. Tell me just why you think the price
of pork bellies is going down, William.
Copy !req
697. - It's Christmas time. Everybody's uptight.
- Could we please buy now, Randolph?
Copy !req
698. - If you want to lose money, go ahead.
- What are you trying to say, William?
Copy !req
699. OK, pork belly prices have
been dropping all morning.
Copy !req
700. Which means everybody's sitting,
waiting for them to hit rock bottom
Copy !req
701. so they can buy cheap and go long.
Copy !req
702. The people that own pork belly contracts
are going bat-shit, they're thinking,
Copy !req
703. "Hey, we're losing all our damn money.
And Christmas is around the corner.
Copy !req
704. And I ain't gonna have no money to buy
my son the GI Joe with the kung fu grip.
Copy !req
705. And my wife ain't gonna wanna f—
Copy !req
706. My wife won't make love to me
'cause I ain't got no money."
Copy !req
707. So they sitting there and they panicking,
screaming, "Sell, sell."
Copy !req
708. They don't want to lose all their money.
Copy !req
709. They out there panicking right now,
I can feel it. They out there.
Copy !req
710. They're panicking. Look at them.
Copy !req
711. He's right, Mortimer.
My God, look at it.
Copy !req
712. I'd wait till you get to about 64,
then I'd buy.
Copy !req
713. You'll have cleared out
all the suckers by then.
Copy !req
714. Do you realize how much money
he just saved us?
Copy !req
715. Money isn't everything, Randolph.
Copy !req
716. Advise our clients
interested in bellies to buy at 64.
Copy !req
717. Mr Valentine has set the price.
Copy !req
718. Well done, William.
Very well done.
Copy !req
719. Come on, Randolph,
we're gonna be late.
Copy !req
720. Yo! Mortimer dropped
his money clip.
Copy !req
721. - You can count it, it's all there. All of it.
- Thank you, William.
Copy !req
722. - It's all there, man. Count it.
- I'm sure it is, William. Thank you.
Copy !req
723. And keep up the good work.
Copy !req
724. All right, Randy. All right.
Copy !req
725. Nice try, Mortimer.
Copy !req
726. Zeta Kai
Copy !req
727. Zeta Kai, my friend
Copy !req
728. Neath the elms we sing our tomes
Copy !req
729. We're brothers to the end
Copy !req
730. Muffy in the bathroom stall
Margaret by the lake
Copy !req
731. Susan down in Whixley Hall
Constance on the make
Copy !req
732. Constance Fry, Constance Fry
Copy !req
733. Anytime you'd call
Copy !req
734. Constance would fulfill your needs
Copy !req
735. Winter, spring or fall
Copy !req
736. What do you think, huh?
Copy !req
737. That was great,
that was really great.
Copy !req
738. —and she stepped on the ball.
Copy !req
739. Oh, my God, I don't believe it.
Copy !req
740. - There you are.
- I think I'm going to be sick.
Copy !req
741. Don't worry,
I'll handle this, pookums.
Copy !req
742. Todd, Harry, Andrew, Philip.
Copy !req
743. I realize this looks completely awful,
but I just wanted to assure you,
Copy !req
744. my friends,
that I am completely innocent.
Copy !req
745. I'm going to fight this thing till the end.
Someone is out to get me and I know who.
Copy !req
746. The important thing is
that I can rely on you, my friends,
Copy !req
747. as character witnesses.
Copy !req
748. I'm going to be defending myself,
Copy !req
749. and well, I wondered
if you could see your way clear
Copy !req
750. to perhaps advance me
a small loan until the hearing.
Copy !req
751. Frankly, Winthorpe,
and I think I speak for all of us,
Copy !req
752. I think it shows incredibly bad taste
for you to embarrass us all like this.
Copy !req
753. I believe I'm still a member of this club.
Copy !req
754. Nobody wants to buy your drugs here,
Louis. Why don't you just go away?
Copy !req
755. Burnt my fingers, man.
Copy !req
756. I beg your pardon.
Copy !req
757. Man, that watch is so hot,
it's smokin'.
Copy !req
758. Hot?
Do you mean to imply, stolen?
Copy !req
759. - I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
- 50 bucks!
Copy !req
760. No, no, no, this is a Rochefoucauld, the
world's thinnest water-resistant watch.
Copy !req
761. Singularly unique,
sculptured in design,
Copy !req
762. hand crafted in Switzerland and
water-resistant to three atmospheres.
Copy !req
763. This is the sports watch
of the '80s. $6,955 retail.
Copy !req
764. You got a receipt?
Copy !req
765. It tells time simultaneously
in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills,
Copy !req
766. London, Paris,
Rome and Gstaad.
Copy !req
767. In Philadelphia
it's worth 50 bucks.
Copy !req
768. Just give me the money.
Copy !req
769. How much for the gun?
Copy !req
770. So, this snail is standing in front
of the Cadillac salesman, see,
Copy !req
771. and he looks up at the salesman and
he says, "How much is that Cadillac?"
Copy !req
772. The snail said, "I want a big S
put on each door, a big S.
Copy !req
773. And on top of the car, I want another
big S, so everybody can see it."
Copy !req
774. The salesman says,
"What do you want that for?"
Copy !req
775. He says, "Well, you see, when I drive
down the avenue, I want everybody to say,
Copy !req
776. 'Look at that S-car go.'"
Copy !req
777. "Look at that S-car go."
Copy !req
778. I'm considering going long on April
wheat. What do you think, Valentine?
Copy !req
779. I can think of three real good reasons
why you shouldn't do something like that.
Copy !req
780. One, the Russian wheat harvest won't
be as bad as everybody thinks. And two...
Copy !req
781. And three, judging by all these jewels
around your girlfriend's neck here,
Copy !req
782. I think you're going to need every penny
you got just to keep her happy.
Copy !req
783. 103.
That's it, you're staying in bed.
Copy !req
784. The man has moved into my house,
he's stolen my job, I have to do something.
Copy !req
785. Stay here.
Copy !req
786. It's ten o'clock - here's Johnny.
Copy !req
787. Listen, baby, I'm sorry. My momma
just came in from outta town.
Copy !req
788. Can we do it next week?
Copy !req
789. Flowers for me?
Copy !req
790. Thanks.
Copy !req
791. - What are you doing?
- You've got company.
Copy !req
792. Business is business. I'll go for a walk.
Copy !req
793. - The fresh air will do me good.
- Lay down.
Copy !req
794. I'm sorry you had to cancel
your appointment.
Copy !req
795. What are you doing?
Copy !req
796. Ophelia, I can't tell you
how good that feels.
Copy !req
797. You've been so kind to me.
Copy !req
798. I'm just protecting my investment.
That's all.
Copy !req
799. Shut up and go to sleep.
Copy !req
800. 99 and a half. You're not getting
out of bed, though, until it's normal.
Copy !req
801. I feel fine
and I've inconvenienced you enough.
Copy !req
802. You have work to do and so do I.
Copy !req
803. Nobody works on Christmas Eve.
Copy !req
804. I'm gonna go shopping. And then I'll
come back and make you a nice dinner.
Copy !req
805. Now, read your paper.
Copy !req
806. Christmas, huh?
Copy !req
807. I'll give him a Christmas
present he'll never forget!
Copy !req
808. William, where have you been?
The party's already begun.
Copy !req
809. I have some work to finish, Mr Duke.
Copy !req
810. It's Christmas Eve and William
wants to keep working, Mortimer.
Copy !req
811. I'll think of you in Stockholm
when I accept the Nobel Prize.
Copy !req
812. The wager has two parts as I recall.
Copy !req
813. Something about a second party
turning to crime.
Copy !req
814. Didn't you say you had
some work to do, Valentine?
Copy !req
815. Yes, sir. I was wondering about this
$10,000 check to Mr Clarence Beeks.
Copy !req
816. I'll take care of it, Valentine.
Copy !req
817. I don't seem to recall any Clarence Beeks
working for the firm, Mr Duke.
Copy !req
818. It was before you joined us, Valentine.
Copy !req
819. We did manage to stay in business
for 47 years before your arrival.
Copy !req
820. Have a drink, William.
Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
821. - Merry Christmas, Mr Duke.
- What?
Copy !req
822. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
823. Ho, ho, ho!
Copy !req
824. Just what do you think you're doing?
Copy !req
825. Randolph, Mortimer, come in here
quickly, I've finally caught him.
Copy !req
826. - Who are you?
- I've caught him red-handed.
Copy !req
827. Winthorpe, is that you?
Copy !req
828. I'm making a citizen's arrest.
This man is a drug dealer.
Copy !req
829. Look, look, here in his office drawer,
he's got all the bad drugs here.
Copy !req
830. Marijuana joints, pills, Quaaludes,
Copy !req
831. Valium, yellow ones, red ones,
cocaine grinder, drug needles.
Copy !req
832. He's the pusher, not me.
Copy !req
833. I just came in and caught this man
planting this stuff in my desk.
Copy !req
834. It's obviously some primitive
attempt to try to frame me.
Copy !req
835. Frame you? Boy, if that isn't
the pot calling the kettle black.
Copy !req
836. This man's obviously a lunatic.
I'm calling security.
Copy !req
837. Put that phone down.
Copy !req
838. Hello, security...
Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
839. You tried to rob me, plant drugs on me.
Copy !req
840. You steal my house, my car, my job.
You know, I ought to kill him right now.
Copy !req
841. Hey, look, man,
this is a big misunderstanding.
Copy !req
842. I don't know nothing about your house,
car and job.
Copy !req
843. Could you put the gun away?
Ask the Dukes.
Copy !req
844. Put that gun away at once, Winthorpe.
Have you lost your mind?
Copy !req
845. Freeze, slimeball.
Copy !req
846. I realize this whole experience must
have been rather unsettling for you.
Copy !req
847. Winthorpe, don't leave.
We can explain.
Copy !req
848. Yeah, you'll be sorry.
Copy !req
849. You'll all be very, very sorry.
Copy !req
850. Poor, deluded creature.
We caught him pilfering at our club,
Copy !req
851. embezzling funds, selling drugs.
Copy !req
852. Now he's dressing up like Santa Claus.
Copy !req
853. A very sordid business.
Copy !req
854. I can't believe Winthorpe
would fall to pieces like that.
Copy !req
855. That guy belongs behind bars.
Copy !req
856. - He's unemployed, Valentine.
- It's no excuse, Mortimer.
Copy !req
857. He's flat broke, obviously hungry.
Copy !req
858. Oh, but he has money to buy drugs, right?
Copy !req
859. Listen, you can't be soft on people
like that. Take it from me, I know.
Copy !req
860. Pay up, Mortimer, I've won the bet.
Copy !req
861. Here, one dollar.
Copy !req
862. We took a perfectly useless
psychopath like Valentine,
Copy !req
863. and turned him
into a successful executive.
Copy !req
864. And during the same time,
Copy !req
865. we turned an honest,
hard-working man
Copy !req
866. into a violently deranged,
would-be killer.
Copy !req
867. Now, what are we going to do
about taking Winthorpe back
Copy !req
868. and returning Valentine to the ghetto?
Copy !req
869. I don't want Winthorpe back
after what he's done.
Copy !req
870. You mean keep Valentine on
as Managing Director?
Copy !req
871. Do you really believe I would have
a nigger run our family business?
Copy !req
872. Of course not. Neither would I.
Copy !req
873. I do think we should hold off
on switching them back, though,
Copy !req
874. until we get that crop report,
New Year's Eve. Don't you?
Copy !req
875. Absolutely, no sense
rocking the boat until then.
Copy !req
876. If Mr Beeks does
what we paid him to do,
Copy !req
877. we should have
a very happy New Year.
Copy !req
878. Indeed.
Copy !req
879. Hey, Winthorpe! Winthorpe!
Copy !req
880. Hey!
Copy !req
881. Hey, Winthorpe.
Hey, yo, Winthorpe!
Copy !req
882. Winthorpe. Yo!
Copy !req
883. Sorry about that.
Copy !req
884. Yo! Yo!
Copy !req
885. Hey, taxi!
Copy !req
886. Hi, Louis. Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
887. Louis. Louis, when you get out
I have a big surprise for you.
Copy !req
888. Excuse me. The door was open.
Copy !req
889. I'm sorry to bother you, but
I'm looking for a Louis Winthorpe.
Copy !req
890. - Does he live here?
- Wait here a minute, I'll be right back.
Copy !req
891. Louis, Louis. It's him. It's Valentine.
Copy !req
892. Louis... Louis?
Copy !req
893. Louis.
Copy !req
894. It was close, but he's going to be all right.
Copy !req
895. Now, make sure he gets plenty of rest.
And for God's sake, no excitement.
Copy !req
896. - Thanks, doc. Merry Christmas.
- Not at all.
Copy !req
897. Merry Christmas to you.
I'll let myself out, Coleman.
Copy !req
898. - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
899. It was a dream.
I dreamt the whole thing.
Copy !req
900. It was just a bad dream.
Copy !req
901. Good morning, sir. Merry Christmas.
Copy !req
902. Coleman, I've had
the most absurd nightmare.
Copy !req
903. I was poor and no one liked me.
I lost my job, I lost my house.
Copy !req
904. Penelope hated me.
Copy !req
905. It was all because
of this terrible, awful Negro.
Copy !req
906. - Oh, dear!
- It was the Dukes. It was the Dukes.
Copy !req
907. - You're a dead man, Valentine!
- Don't do it.
Copy !req
908. It was an experiment.
They used us as guinea pigs, man.
Copy !req
909. The Dukes used us as guinea pigs.
Copy !req
910. To see how our lives would turn out.
They made a bet.
Copy !req
911. - I'm afraid it's true, sir.
- I believe him, Louis.
Copy !req
912. The Dukes ruined my life over a bet?
Copy !req
913. For how much?
Copy !req
914. A dollar.
Copy !req
915. One dollar.
Copy !req
916. Fine, that's the way they want it.
Copy !req
917. No problem.
Copy !req
918. You can't just go around and shoot people
with a double-barreled shotgun
Copy !req
919. 'cause you're pissed at them.
Copy !req
920. Why not?
Copy !req
921. It's called assault with a deadly weapon.
You get 20 years for that shit.
Copy !req
922. Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Copy !req
923. Yeah, you know, it occurs to me that
the best way you hurt rich people
Copy !req
924. is by turning 'em into poor people.
Copy !req
925. You have to admit, sir,
you didn't like it yourself a bit.
Copy !req
926. And now for the news.
Copy !req
927. Under heavy security, the crop estimates
for next year's orange crop
Copy !req
928. are being delivered from Miami
Copy !req
929. to the Department of Agriculture
in Washington DC.
Copy !req
930. Louis. Louis, that's him, the guy
who paid me to talk dirty to you.
Copy !req
931. In charge of security is Mr Clarence
Beeks, head of Lyndhurst Security.
Copy !req
932. - Clarence Beeks?
- Clarence Beeks?
Copy !req
933. The Dukes just gave that guy 10 grand.
Copy !req
934. Ten grand? I saw an outlay in the payroll
to him for 50,000.
Copy !req
935. Mortimer said it was for research.
Copy !req
936. Research, so he can get his hands
Copy !req
937. on that top secret crop report
two days before it goes public.
Copy !req
938. My God, the Dukes are going to corner
the entire frozen orange juice market.
Copy !req
939. - Unless somebody stops them.
- Or beats them to it.
Copy !req
940. Eggnog?
Copy !req
941. Duke & Duke,
may I ask who's calling?
Copy !req
942. Duke & Duke, I'm afraid he's busy.
Can you hold, please?
Copy !req
943. May I help you? Just a moment,
Mr Beeks, I'll put you right through.
Copy !req
944. Operation Strange Fruit
proceeding according to plan.
Copy !req
945. I anticipate penetration and acquisition
at 21:00 tomorrow. Hold on.
Copy !req
946. Fuck off.
Copy !req
947. - When can we expect delivery?
- I will be leaving DC by train.
Copy !req
948. Will rendezvous at 24:00.
Copy !req
949. The Hilton Hotel,
parking level D, section 4.
Copy !req
950. - That's the orange section.
- Orange, I like that. Very good.
Copy !req
951. The final payment
is due on delivery, in cash.
Copy !req
952. - Hey, man.
- Jesus, hey!
Copy !req
953. Happy New Year!
Copy !req
954. - Ever make it with an ape?
- Haven't you had enough drink?
Copy !req
955. Are you kidding?
It's not even New Year's Eve.
Copy !req
956. Come on, kiss this beautiful ape.
Copy !req
957. Come on, give me a little.
Come on, just a little.
Copy !req
958. Harrisburg Express.
Copy !req
959. Stairway C...
Copy !req
960. - What?
- It's my turn to drive.
Copy !req
961. - No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
962. - Well, I'm sure you think it is, but it isn't.
- No, don't you remember?
Copy !req
963. This morning you drove the shipment
of anchovy paste.
Copy !req
964. Yeah, I drove the anchovy paste,
Copy !req
965. but you had the video tape
recorders this afternoon.
Copy !req
966. Well, I just backed them up
about five feet.
Copy !req
967. We have to take turns.
Copy !req
968. Sometimes it's longer, sometimes
it's shorter. It's my turn now.
Copy !req
969. - No, it isn't. No.
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
970. - Merry New Year.
- Happy New Year.
Copy !req
971. In this country,
we say, "Happy New Year."
Copy !req
972. Thank you for correcting my English,
which stinks.
Copy !req
973. I am Naga Eboko,
exchange student from Cameroon.
Copy !req
974. Beef jerky time.
Copy !req
975. - You want some beef jerky?
- No, please.
Copy !req
976. There's plenty, you know.
Copy !req
977. This animal's being routed
through to New York.
Copy !req
978. Its care and feeding instructions
are on this bill of lading.
Copy !req
979. OK, gotcha.
Copy !req
980. I doubt you'll have any problems,
Copy !req
981. but if you do, there's a tranquillizer gun
in the first aid kit.
Copy !req
982. Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
983. Say, have you guys been drinking?
Copy !req
984. - No, sir. Not us.
- Enough drunks on this train already.
Copy !req
985. Happy New Year.
Copy !req
986. That's kind of you, son.
And a Happy New Year to you, too.
Copy !req
987. Could I offer either of you two gentlemen
a wee jolt of Irish whiskey,
Copy !req
988. to usher in the New Year?
Copy !req
989. Not for me, pal.
Copy !req
990. I do not drink.
It is against my religion.
Copy !req
991. I always say, "Religion's a fine
thing, taken in moderation."
Copy !req
992. - Beef jerky?
- No, son. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
993. No, it gives me the winds
something terrible.
Copy !req
994. We are moving! We are moving!
Copy !req
995. New York, here we come!
Copy !req
996. Come in, my child, join the party.
Copy !req
997. Let me see, now you would be
from Austria. Am I right?
Copy !req
998. - No, I am Inga from Sweden.
- Sweden?
Copy !req
999. But you're wearing lederhosen.
Copy !req
1000. Ja, for sure, from Sweden.
Copy !req
1001. Please, to help me with my rucksack.
Copy !req
1002. Oh, yeah, sure, why not?
Copy !req
1003. Hey, I'm hungry, man.
I have got to get something more to eat.
Copy !req
1004. Well, maybe there's
some pretzels in the bar car.
Copy !req
1005. Welcome.
Copy !req
1006. - Who is that?
- Open the door, man.
Copy !req
1007. I'm dressed as a baggage handler.
Copy !req
1008. You can imagine how embarrassed
I was when I saw
Copy !req
1009. there was someone at the party
with the same costume I had.
Copy !req
1010. Monkey, monkey?
I'm a fucking gorilla, you clown!
Copy !req
1011. Irie, irie, irie. I certainly hope there's
enough space on the train for me.
Copy !req
1012. Naga, Naga Eboko, from Cameroon.
Copy !req
1013. Do you remember me?
It's Lionel Joseph.
Copy !req
1014. Lionel, from the African Education
Conference, right?
Copy !req
1015. Yes. I was Director of Cultural Events
at the Haile Selassie Pavilion.
Copy !req
1016. I remember the pavilion.
We had big fun there.
Copy !req
1017. Now that we are all here,
we will have a picnic, ja?
Copy !req
1018. You will help me get my rucksack down
for the Swedish meatballs?
Copy !req
1019. - Remember the one we did?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1020. - The memories.
- All day long I could tell those stories.
Copy !req
1021. - Those were good ones.
- The good old days.
Copy !req
1022. There you are, sweet pea.
Copy !req
1023. So, the train will be pulling
into Philadelphia soon.
Copy !req
1024. Will you be getting off
at the city of brotherly love, Mr Beeks?
Copy !req
1025. Yeah, I will, but you won't...
Copy !req
1026. Winthorpe.
Copy !req
1027. - See if this one's empty.
- Hey, back off.
Copy !req
1028. I'll rip out your eyes
and piss on your brain.
Copy !req
1029. - Excuse me.
- You got it.
Copy !req
1030. All right. On your feet. Up, let's go.
Copy !req
1031. Bunch of fucking weirdos!
We're going to take a little walk.
Copy !req
1032. And don't try anything funny
or the whore loses a kidney. Let's go.
Copy !req
1033. - No, I'm from Sweden.
- Hey, beat it.
Copy !req
1034. Hey, I'm King Kong.
I'm the biggest, baddest boy in the jungle.
Copy !req
1035. Get lost, you maggot.
Copy !req
1036. Hey, who is that guy,
your father or something?
Copy !req
1037. All right, hold it right here.
Copy !req
1038. - Oh, honestly, Beeks.
- This is as far as we go.
Copy !req
1039. No more cockamamie cigar smoke.
Copy !req
1040. No more Swedish meatballs there,
tootsie.
Copy !req
1041. And no more phony Irish whiskey.
Copy !req
1042. No more goddamn jerky beef.
Copy !req
1043. - The party's over.
- The party's over?
Copy !req
1044. Hey, come on. What do you mean,
the party's over?
Copy !req
1045. It's not even ten o'clock, you dummy.
Copy !req
1046. Hey, come on. Loosen up, man.
It's almost New Year's Eve.
Copy !req
1047. All right.
Copy !req
1048. Hey. Hey, hey, hey,
look what happened to me!
Copy !req
1049. Sometimes, they look so human,
it gives you the creeps.
Copy !req
1050. Boy, that other one's getting
kinda horny, ain't he?
Copy !req
1051. Think we ought to hit him up
with the tranquillizer gun?
Copy !req
1052. It's New Year's. Let 'em have their fun.
Copy !req
1053. That black one must be the female.
Copy !req
1054. Where is he?
Copy !req
1055. Beeks. Are you there, Beeks?
Copy !req
1056. I'm over here.
Copy !req
1057. That's far enough.
Copy !req
1058. - Did you get the report?
- Let's see the money.
Copy !req
1059. OK, toss it over.
Copy !req
1060. Thank you, Beeks.
Copy !req
1061. Wonderful news. Wonderful.
Copy !req
1062. Beeks, Happy New Year.
Copy !req
1063. My life savings. Try not to lose it.
Copy !req
1064. Lose it? Coleman, in a couple hours,
you're gonna be the richest butler ever.
Copy !req
1065. Well...
Copy !req
1066. I worked real hard for this, Louis.
I hope you know what you're doing.
Copy !req
1067. - Thank you, Ophelia.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
1068. - 10:31...
- That's us, Louis.
Copy !req
1069. Coleman, would you, please?
Thank you.
Copy !req
1070. I could use a stiff drink.
Would you care to join me?
Copy !req
1071. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Wilson.
Copy !req
1072. - Good morning, Mr Duke.
- Wilson.
Copy !req
1073. Keep the change.
Copy !req
1074. Think big, think positive.
Never show any sign of weakness.
Copy !req
1075. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell
high. Fear, that's the other guy's problem.
Copy !req
1076. Nothing you have ever experienced
can prepare you
Copy !req
1077. for the unbridled carnage
you are about to witness.
Copy !req
1078. The Super Bowl, the World Series.
They don't know what pressure is.
Copy !req
1079. In this building, it's either kill or be killed.
Make no friends and take no prisoners.
Copy !req
1080. One minute you're up half a million
and the next,
Copy !req
1081. boom, your kids don't go to college
and they've repossessed your Bentley.
Copy !req
1082. Yeah, we gotta kill the motherf—
We gotta kill them!
Copy !req
1083. We want you to buy as much OJ
as you can, the instant trading starts.
Copy !req
1084. Don't worry if the price starts going up,
just keep buying.
Copy !req
1085. But they're gonna broadcast
the crop report in an hour. What if...?
Copy !req
1086. Let us worry about that, Wilson.
Copy !req
1087. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1088. How's the ulcer, Harry?
Copy !req
1089. Pretty good. How's the hypertension?
Copy !req
1090. Hasn't bothered me in months.
Copy !req
1091. Let's kick some ass.
Copy !req
1092. Well, this is it. The last bastion
of pure capitalism left on earth.
Copy !req
1093. Here in New York they trade everything,
gold, silver, platinum,
Copy !req
1094. heating oil, propane,
cocoa and sugar
Copy !req
1095. and, of course,
frozen, concentrated orange juice.
Copy !req
1096. Now, the people on the phones are taking
orders from brokers all over the world.
Copy !req
1097. The runners then hand those orders
to the traders in the pits.
Copy !req
1098. They're trading cotton over there.
And that's the silver pit.
Copy !req
1099. The Dukes' trader is going to be
buying like crazy right from the opening.
Copy !req
1100. - We wait until he drives the price up.
- Right. I can't wait to see his face
Copy !req
1101. when they broadcast
that genuine crop report.
Copy !req
1102. OJ trading opens at 9:00.
Copy !req
1103. - Let's go kick some butt.
- Let's go.
Copy !req
1104. - 102 bid for...
- Sold!
Copy !req
1105. Six, six.
Copy !req
1106. At seven, at seven. Two hundred.
Copy !req
1107. One-oh-eight.
Copy !req
1108. One-sixteen.
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1109. Hey, hey. The Dukes are trying
to corner the market.
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1110. - They know something. I can feel it.
- Let's get in on it.
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1111. - Add it on!
- 200, taken.
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1112. - 130.
- 200, 200.
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1113. Louis.
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1114. Not yet, almost.
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1115. - 220 taken.
- 209.
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1116. - Yeah, yeah, got 'em.
- 139.
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1117. Now! Sell, 200 April at 142.
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1118. That's not right.
How can the price be going down?
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1119. Something's wrong.
Where's Wilson?
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1120. - Sell! Sell! Sell!
- What are they doing here?
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1121. - They're selling, Mortimer.
- Why, that's ridiculous.
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1122. Unless that crop report...
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1123. God help us!
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1124. I told you we shouldn't have
committed everything, you asshole.
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1125. We've got to get Wilson
and tell him to sell.
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1126. Go, sold!
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1127. Ladies and gentlemen,
the Secretary of Agriculture.
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1128. Ladies and gentlemen, the orange
crop estimates for the next year.
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1129. After calculating the estimates from
various orange producing states,
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1130. we have concluded the following:
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1131. The cold winter has apparently
not affected the orange harvest.
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1132. Consumers can expect
orange juice prices to fall...
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1133. Wilson, for Christ's sake, sell!
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1134. - Sold! Sold! Sold!
- Buy 'em.
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1135. Sold!
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1136. Sell it!
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1137. Selling. Sell!
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1138. Sold!
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1139. No. Selling.
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1140. All right, I'll buy.
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1141. - Wilson, where are you going?
- You idiot!
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1142. Get back in there at once
and sell, sell.
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1143. Sir, but I— I— I—
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1144. - Five.
- Yeah, 200.
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1145. - 100. 100.
- Yeah, that was 100.
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1146. - Did you get that?
- I got five with you, man. Five, five.
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1147. Hundred.
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1148. Happy New Year.
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1149. - Winthorpe.
- Valentine.
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1150. Hey, how'd y'all make out today?
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1151. How could you do this to us after
everything we've done for you?
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1152. Oh, see I made Louis a bet here.
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1153. Louis bet me that we couldn't both
get rich and put y'all in the poorhouse.
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1154. He didn't think we could do it. I won.
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1155. I lost.
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1156. - One dollar.
- Thank you, Louis.
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1157. - After you.
- Certainly.
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1158. Margin call, gentlemen.
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1159. - You can't expect us to—
- You know the rules of the exchange.
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1160. All accounts to be settled at the end
of the day's trading without exception.
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1161. You know perfectly well
we don't have $394 million in cash.
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1162. I'm sorry, boys. Put the Duke brother seats
on the exchange up for sale at once.
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1163. Seize all assets of Duke & Duke
Commodities Brokers,
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1164. as well as all personal holdings
of Randolph and Mortimer Duke.
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1165. My God. We're ruined!
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1166. This is an outrage!
I demand an investigation.
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1167. You can't sell our seats. A Duke has been
on this exchange since it was founded.
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1168. We founded this exchange.
It's ours! It belongs to us!
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1169. My God.
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1170. Your brother's not well.
We better call an ambulance.
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1171. Fuck him! Now you listen to me.
I want trading reopened, right now.
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1172. Get those brokers back in here!
Turn those machines back on!
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1173. Turn those machines back on!
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1174. You and your Nobel Prize, you idiot.
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1175. Where's Beeks?
Where in the hell is Beeks?
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1176. - Beeks!
- Yeah, I forgot all about that guy.
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1177. OK, one male gorilla.
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1178. Hey, wait a minute.
There's two of them in that cage.
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1179. One gorilla, two gorillas. Big deal.
Whole bunch is getting sent back to Africa.
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1180. It's a big scientific experiment.
What do I know?
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1181. Anyway, take a look. They're in love.
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1182. - Hey, Coleman?
- Yes?
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1183. What should we do about lunch?
The lobster or the cracked crab?
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1184. - What do you think?
- Can't we have both?
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1185. Why not?
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1186. - Demitri?
- Sir.
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1187. - Lobster and cracked crab for everyone.
- Extra prima good, Mr Coleman, sir.
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1188. Looking good, Billy Ray.
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1189. Feeling good, Louis.
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