1. - Nice.
- Thanks.Copy !req
2. I don't know how
you work this way.Copy !req
3. It relaxes me.Copy !req
4. Here.Copy !req
5. - Let me fix your tie.
- Try not to get paint on me.Copy !req
6. Relax, okay?Copy !req
7. What are you gonna do tonight?
Just gonna hang out?Copy !req
8. - Like you really care.
- Don't start with me.Copy !req
9. I'm not. You are.Copy !req
10. And I told you about this
weeks ago. Remember?Copy !req
11. - What?
- What?Copy !req
12. You got a little something going
on the side, Steven?Copy !req
13. You can tell me.Copy !req
14. I got something on the side called
family and I can't get out of it.Copy !req
15. How many times
you wanna hear that?Copy !req
16. What? Your family
fucked-up or something?Copy !req
17. - Is that why you're being so secretive?
- Hey, I need you to trust me, okay?Copy !req
18. - Do not get paint on me.
- Okay.Copy !req
19. Sweetie?Copy !req
20. I've gotta get going. Now.Copy !req
21. What, right this second?Copy !req
22. - Yes. Right this second.
- Okay. You know what? Fine.Copy !req
23. Have yourself a real ball.Copy !req
24. Get out of here.Copy !req
25. You're a wonderfully cruel woman.Copy !req
26. I'm gonna wake you up.Copy !req
27. I can't even take a piss straight.
I'm vibrating to fucking death here.Copy !req
28. Shut up, Rolfe. You drive me crazy.Copy !req
29. You diminutive French snail.Copy !req
30. You know, Maurice, you're the one
who said we could do it in eight hours.Copy !req
31. - I could've walked faster!
- It's your problem for going so slow.Copy !req
32. We need to cool.Copy !req
33. Come on! You bastard.Copy !req
34. What are we stopping for?Copy !req
35. Go on ahead. I'll catch up with you.Copy !req
36. - Breaking ground on
a new, historical museum.Copy !req
37. Steven. Good to see you.Copy !req
38. Jerry Robin, Jr.Copy !req
39. I have known so many
little people professionally.Copy !req
40. But what I didn't know is
there are over 100,000...Copy !req
41. little people in
North America alone.Copy !req
42. - Hey, Mom.
- Well, if it isn't Mr. Late.Copy !req
43. I'm not that late.Copy !req
44. - Hello, Steven. Where's your brother?
- He's not here?Copy !req
45. I can't believe he'd be late to a
convention. Something's wrong.Copy !req
46. - There's nothing wrong.
- How you doing, girls?Copy !req
47. Your favorite, dear. Egg salad.Copy !req
48. Now, let's cut that rug.
Courtesy of The Lobsters.Copy !req
49. Hey, everybody. Hello, girls.
How you doing tonight, Steven?Copy !req
50. Doing the best I can.
How about yourself?Copy !req
51. Doing all right, thank you.Copy !req
52. Hey, Bobby. Do you see this
blond coming up here?Copy !req
53. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
54. She's been asking us to introduce
you to her since last convention.Copy !req
55. - No kidding?
- She's an ice skater...Copy !req
56. in one of those shows,
Holiday on Ice. Kitty.Copy !req
57. Bobby, say hello to the indomitable
Miss Kitty Katz.Copy !req
58. - Well, hello, Mr. President.
- The pleasure's mine.Copy !req
59. See her tits?Copy !req
60. - Hello, ladies.
- My daughters.Copy !req
61. Hi.Copy !req
62. Why don't you girls go out and
dance and have some fun.Copy !req
63. Yeah, girls. You ready?Copy !req
64. Let's go cut a rug. You too.Copy !req
65. Come on, now.Copy !req
66. I could use a good, stiff one.
Oh, I mean a cocktail.Copy !req
67. - Hey, Steven! Over here!
- Hey, Rolfe!Copy !req
68. Rolfie! My friend, you are
in the doghouse.Copy !req
69. Mom and Pop are pissed.Copy !req
70. That's great. Steven, this is Maurice.
Maurice is an asshole.Copy !req
71. Hey, the asshole is the strongest
muscle in the human body.Copy !req
72. Do you think there's any food left?Copy !req
73. Man, I really couldn't tell you.Copy !req
74. - My name's Lucy.
- Hi, Lucy.Copy !req
75. Hey, don't go ripping off food, now.Copy !req
76. You can't steal food.
Food's from God. It's plentiful.Copy !req
77. - God wants me to eat.
- Come on, Lucy. Let's go.Copy !req
78. What's going on? You wanna
go grab a drink somewhere?Copy !req
79. No, I'm kind of tired.
What about tomorrow?Copy !req
80. I can't tomorrow. Tonight's
my last night. I got a class.Copy !req
81. I gotta put through finals all week.Copy !req
82. What's the story anyway, man?Copy !req
83. The hell happened? Where you been?Copy !req
84. That's what happened.Copy !req
85. What do you mean,
"That's what happened"?Copy !req
86. You drove this thing 400 miles?Copy !req
87. Yeah, well, Maurice builds
them and...Copy !req
88. I can't afford to fit out a car
right now, so...Copy !req
89. I figured what the hell. Hey,
you laugh, man, it got me here.Copy !req
90. Call Mom and Dad.
Let them know you're all right.Copy !req
91. Don't let them know you're riding
around on this thing.Copy !req
92. Yeah, well, don't you
go telling them either.Copy !req
93. Don't I go telling them?Copy !req
94. Assholes! All of you!
Fucking assholes!Copy !req
95. Where you staying tonight?Copy !req
96. We'll go find a cheap motel and
then I'm gonna give Sally a holler.Copy !req
97. - Sack over there for a few nights.
- Might as well get used to it.Copy !req
98. You two are gonna end up together,
no matter what happens.Copy !req
99. They alleged that we
were stealing food.Copy !req
100. - It's good to see you, man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
101. You can try and make it sooner
next time. We can shake it up a little.Copy !req
102. I know. Well, next year.Copy !req
103. Have a good time with Sally, buddy.
You know where to find me.Copy !req
104. Be careful, buddy.Copy !req
105. So did you have a good time?Copy !req
106. - Was it everything you expected?
- It was okay.Copy !req
107. Whatever it was.Copy !req
108. Steven?Copy !req
109. I don't want us keeping
secrets from each other.Copy !req
110. - It's too late to start obsessing, okay?
- You're the one making it happen.Copy !req
111. - Why don't you just let it go, okay?
- I can't.Copy !req
112. You're playing me. I know it.
I just can't figure out why.Copy !req
113. You do not think that
I'm seeing someone.Copy !req
114. No, of course not.Copy !req
115. You know how we're always
talking about our future...Copy !req
116. what we're gonna do, where we're
gonna live and all that other stuff?Copy !req
117. - Can we talk about this later?
- No, we need to talk, Steven.Copy !req
118. - Right now?
- Yeah.Copy !req
119. Carol, all right.Copy !req
120. This better not be an all-night
marathon or I'll kill you.Copy !req
121. - No, it won't. I promise.
- All right. What do you got, babe?Copy !req
122. I think maybe I'm pregnant.Copy !req
123. Oh, man.Copy !req
124. We've been using protection.Copy !req
125. Except for those two
or three times a week...Copy !req
126. when you wake me up
in the middle of the night.Copy !req
127. Don't tell me you don't
remember, either.Copy !req
128. I thought you wanted kids, Steven.Copy !req
129. Yeah, but not right this second, no.Copy !req
130. Just tell me what you feel.Copy !req
131. I'm not gonna tell you I'm thrilled about
an unplanned pregnancy, all right?Copy !req
132. I thought you'd be okay with this.Copy !req
133. We've talked about it, like,
a million times.Copy !req
134. Yeah, for the future.
I mean, this a huge step.Copy !req
135. Yeah, but these are our
baby years, Steven.Copy !req
136. Let's just do it.Copy !req
137. Jesús Christ, Carol. I mean...Copy !req
138. This is the sort of thing that people
talk about before they jump into it.Copy !req
139. - Well, that's what we're doing now.
- Yeah, after the fact. It's done.Copy !req
140. - I've never been to Hollywood before.
- Hollywood's a toilet.Copy !req
141. Hey, says you! I feel
glamorous just being here.Copy !req
142. - She locked me out of my bedroom.
- That's sad.Copy !req
143. That woman does it
to me all the time.Copy !req
144. Well, you gotta get
a new woman, like me.Copy !req
145. - Hey, baby, what's up?
- Jesús Christ.Copy !req
146. Hello.Copy !req
147. - Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
148. Can we have a room?Copy !req
149. You see that sign?Copy !req
150. - We don't allow prostitution in here.
- You think I'm a prostitute?Copy !req
151. - You didn't say you were a prostitute.
- She ain't a prostitute.Copy !req
152. We just want a room.Copy !req
153. I only have one room.
You'll have to share.Copy !req
154. You only got one? How much, man?Copy !req
155. - One lady and two little children.
- Hey!Copy !req
156. - Special price for you. 95 bucks.
- These are not my children.Copy !req
157. Damn it!Copy !req
158. - You got any rubbers?
- No...Copy !req
159. and if you start fucking that girl
while I'm trying to sleep, I'll kill you.Copy !req
160. Then put your headphones on,
my friend...Copy !req
161. because tonight I'm feeling good.
- I'm glad someone is.Copy !req
162. Oh, God, I feel so much better.Copy !req
163. I'm gonna take a shower.Copy !req
164. Hey, Lucy. You notice how
we stalk one another?Copy !req
165. For you. For moi.Copy !req
166. I like to drink.Copy !req
167. Smells good.Copy !req
168. Say, that's smooth. What is this?Copy !req
169. It's an original creation of mine.Copy !req
170. Imported cherry-flavored
morphine syrup from France...Copy !req
171. and cognac. I just wish
I had a fucking crêpe.Copy !req
172. You're a very interesting man.
You're very direct.Copy !req
173. I think you have a lot of
owl medicine in you.Copy !req
174. Hey, come here.
Come here.Copy !req
175. So pretty.Copy !req
176. - Fuck.
- What is it? Your back?Copy !req
177. - No.
- Did your back go out?Copy !req
178. Here, stand up. Stand up.Copy !req
179. It's gonna be okay.
Look, here, ready?Copy !req
180. Oh, God, Lucy, no!Copy !req
181. - What did you do?
- I adjusted you.Copy !req
182. Make me another drink.Copy !req
183. Here.Copy !req
184. That is better.Copy !req
185. Daddy's back.Copy !req
186. - Hey, Rolfe, you want a cocktail?
- In your dreams.Copy !req
187. It's okay. Look.
He's got a prescription.Copy !req
188. Well, that doctor he goes to,
he ought to be locked up.Copy !req
189. Now, I'm real sore
and I'm real tired.Copy !req
190. So keep it down.Copy !req
191. No smoking.Copy !req
192. Fuck!Copy !req
193. Hey, buddy, you all right?Copy !req
194. Hey, Maurice.Copy !req
195. What's the matter with him?Copy !req
196. He's got ulcers, a herniated disk...
It's just little people shit.Copy !req
197. But he's just too stubborn
to take care of himself.Copy !req
198. - Are you all right?
- Bed.Copy !req
199. You're bleeding, man.Copy !req
200. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
201. You're bleeding.
I'm gonna call a doctor.Copy !req
202. Yeah, hello? Could you give
me the number...Copy !req
203. of a Dr. Carl Morris in Encino?
- Oh, no! No!Copy !req
204. No fucking doctors!Copy !req
205. No doctors!Copy !req
206. Jesús Christ, man.
I'm just trying to fucking help you.Copy !req
207. I'm getting out of here.Copy !req
208. So hot.Copy !req
209. - Who is it?
- Hey, it's me. Rolfe.Copy !req
210. - Rolfe.
- Let me in.Copy !req
211. Be quiet, Buster.Copy !req
212. Oh, I wasn't sure I'd ever
see you again.Copy !req
213. Yep. I'm back.Copy !req
214. I saw your article in Harper's
about the Republicans.Copy !req
215. Becoming very successful.Copy !req
216. Yeah, well, we need to get syndicated.
That's the ticket.Copy !req
217. Look at the little love nest.Copy !req
218. Come on, Rolfe. I don't
have a boyfriend, okay?Copy !req
219. - Yeah? Well, I don't see two beds.
- Well, he sleeps on the couch.Copy !req
220. Lighten up, Rolfe. God.
We're not close like that.Copy !req
221. I let him fuck me twice. Okay?
I felt sorry for him.Copy !req
222. His whole family was evicted from
their apartment in the Gaza Strip.Copy !req
223. I mean, how would you feel?Copy !req
224. You need to cut loose from all this
shit that seems to follow you around.Copy !req
225. It wouldn't be like that
if we were together again.Copy !req
226. Come on, Rolfe. I'm ready
for an adult relationship.Copy !req
227. Yeah, well, it sure looks like it.Copy !req
228. - Sally?
- Oh, my God. It's Adrissi!Copy !req
229. - Sally.
- Well, let me come talk with him.Copy !req
230. You wait here. Be quiet.Copy !req
231. What are you doing here?Copy !req
232. I quit my job.Copy !req
233. How do you expect to get your own
place if you can't keep a job...Copy !req
234. Do not give to me this shit. All right?
I need just money for the bus.Copy !req
235. "Do not give to me this shit"?
Adrissi, I have to pay my phone bill.Copy !req
236. All right, I will pay you back.
In your G-spot.Copy !req
237. Fine! I won't pay my phone bill.
Wait here.Copy !req
238. Give me a couple of bucks.
Keep your mouth shut.Copy !req
239. Jesús Christ.Copy !req
240. You need some money, man?
How much you need?Copy !req
241. Who is this man in your
bedroom, huh?Copy !req
242. Let's cut the bullshit. Just tell him
what you told me and get it over with.Copy !req
243. - What's he doing in your bedroom?
- None of your business.Copy !req
244. So get your shit together and get
the hell out before I call the cops.Copy !req
245. No. I want to know, now,
why this man is in your bedroom.Copy !req
246. - Well...
- Because we are gonna fuck, okay?Copy !req
247. - That what you wanna hear?
- We're not fucking.Copy !req
248. So just get your unemployed
ass out of here, now!Copy !req
249. But all those things you said
in the darkness.Copy !req
250. You said I was the sexiest stud
you had. You opened your heart.Copy !req
251. - Keep your mouth shut, Adrissi.
- You told me I was a hunk.Copy !req
252. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
253. Mercy. In a while, man, this ain't
gonna seem like such a big deal.Copy !req
254. - Don't. Rolfe.
- You banged Sally!Copy !req
255. - You fucking whore! You slut!
- He's fucking going nuts, Sally!Copy !req
256. - Don't...!
- No, you get out of my way, now!Copy !req
257. Stop it! Get off of him!
Stop it!Copy !req
258. Don't. Get your hands off of him!
Stop it! No! Get off of him!Copy !req
259. - No!
- God!Copy !req
260. Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?Copy !req
261. I'm out of here.Copy !req
262. But Rolfe, you gotta tell
the cops what he did to us.Copy !req
263. You know what, Sally?
Why don't you tell the cops.Copy !req
264. "Wait two minutes. Look to see if two
visible lines have formed in the tube.Copy !req
265. Two visible lines indicate a positive
test" for being knocked up.Copy !req
266. Let's go, Chuck! You got what it takes
to be a firefighter? I don't think so!Copy !req
267. Come on, fat boy! Didn't I tell you
to lose weight four months ago?Copy !req
268. Yes, I did! And you have not!Copy !req
269. How are you gonna be any good to
anybody if you can't put dirt on a fire?Copy !req
270. Stop! Get out of the horseshoe
and get the hose! Get up the hill.Copy !req
271. Your execution is piss-poor.Copy !req
272. The fires are still burning. Not only
are you slow, but you suck at it!Copy !req
273. You're going up to the 18th floor.
You've got a woman and child. What?Copy !req
274. What do you think you're doing?Copy !req
275. - What?
- You're being a total asshole.Copy !req
276. Take five, Chuck.Copy !req
277. Hi. Is Steven still around?Copy !req
278. Oh, no. He left already.
He'll be back in a week.Copy !req
279. - A week?
- Who are you?Copy !req
280. I'm Rolfe. I'm his brother.Copy !req
281. - Who are you?
- Oh, I'm Carol.Copy !req
282. Well, listen, Carol.
You think I could come in?Copy !req
283. I'm a little messed up right now.Copy !req
284. Yeah. I was gonna ask
you about that.Copy !req
285. - Thank you.
- Sure.Copy !req
286. - You were attacked? You're kidding.
- Does it look like I'm kidding?Copy !req
287. Go ahead. Come on. Let me...Copy !req
288. So, what? You got mugged
or something?Copy !req
289. You could say that.
A guy tried to kill me.Copy !req
290. Judging from those bruises on
your neck, I'd say he was serious.Copy !req
291. Oh, he's probably in jail by now.Copy !req
292. So are you and Steven
blood brothers?Copy !req
293. Yeah, you could say that.
We're twins.Copy !req
294. God, I can't believe that.Copy !req
295. We've been living together since May.
We're getting married in the summer.Copy !req
296. Well, he didn't mention anything?Copy !req
297. No. But maybe he wanted
it to be a surprise.Copy !req
298. Listen, are your parents...Copy !req
299. What, little? Yeah.Copy !req
300. Steven, he's the big guy
in the family.Copy !req
301. Listen, Carol, do you think it'd
be okay if I sat down for a while?Copy !req
302. I've got nowhere to go
at the moment.Copy !req
303. No, sure. Stay as long
as you'd like.Copy !req
304. I have to go out for a few hours.Copy !req
305. But I'd really like to talk to you.Copy !req
306. Oh, God. This feels good.Copy !req
307. Would you like something to eat?
You want some coffee?Copy !req
308. Rolfe?Copy !req
309. Good morning, Romeo.Copy !req
310. How you feeling? You feel better?Copy !req
311. No. I feel like death.Copy !req
312. That's great.
Death's a great transition.Copy !req
313. - Maid!
- I'm sorry. Please move along.Copy !req
314. - We're making a love nest in here.
- It's 3:00 and I want to go home!Copy !req
315. Go away. We are eating each other.Copy !req
316. Where's Rolfe?Copy !req
317. He left because you
were mean to him.Copy !req
318. Checkout time is 12:00!Copy !req
319. Merde, I'll kill him.Copy !req
320. - You're paying an extra day.
- Hey. Hey.Copy !req
321. What are you doing?
Put it away.Copy !req
322. Open the door or I'm calling
the cops. Prostitute!Copy !req
323. Hey! You go away! You called me
a prostitute last night.Copy !req
324. - I heard what you said...
- Open up!Copy !req
325. Bastard! I have had enough of
name-calling, you understand?Copy !req
326. I'm calling you a prostitute!Copy !req
327. You're a prostitute!Copy !req
328. Come on.Copy !req
329. Come on. Let's go! Get your shit
together. You wanna get pinched?Copy !req
330. So beautiful, there.Copy !req
331. Come on, Maurice!Copy !req
332. Everyone knows
that's called the B.A.Copy !req
333. Now, you wanna check
your regulator every day.Copy !req
334. Rule number one with the
regulator is never use oil in it.Copy !req
335. You use oil in this regulator
and you'll end up in a situation.Copy !req
336. We're gonna take five.Copy !req
337. Hey, Carol. What's going on?
Is everything okay?Copy !req
338. Your brother dropped by
this morning.Copy !req
339. You drive here to tell me that?Copy !req
340. You could have let me know that
everyone in your family is a midget.Copy !req
341. Well, they're not midgets.
They're dwarfs.Copy !req
342. Whatever.Copy !req
343. But it suddenly occurred to me
that it's a genetic thing, right?Copy !req
344. Yeah, it's a genetic thing.Copy !req
345. Just tell me. If you and I have a kid
together, is it gonna be a midget?Copy !req
346. - Carol, don't say midget. Say dwarf.
- Just answer the question, Steven!Copy !req
347. - It's possible. It's definitely possible.
- Oh, Jesús Christ.Copy !req
348. Look, Carol. Hey. If it makes
you feel any better...Copy !req
349. I was gonna tell you.
- Really?Copy !req
350. - Yeah.
- So why didn't you?Copy !req
351. I don't know. I didn't think it
was that important.Copy !req
352. - You didn't think it was important?
- Don't start passing judgment.Copy !req
353. Hey, I'm not passing judgment
on you, okay?Copy !req
354. I'm just trying to understand.Copy !req
355. I honestly don't know why I didn't
mention it. It wasn't the right time.Copy !req
356. What's going on here, Steven?Copy !req
357. Don't you want to be in
a relationship with me?Copy !req
358. Where in the hell did that
come from, Carol?Copy !req
359. You go ahead and do whatever
you want. You do what you want.Copy !req
360. - What, you just don't care?
- Now, you know I care.Copy !req
361. I won't jump through hoops
because you're threatening me.Copy !req
362. - What? I was not threatening you.
- Yeah, you were.Copy !req
363. This whole will to motherhood, Carol.
It's becoming quite an obsession.Copy !req
364. Well, I thought that's why
we were getting married.Copy !req
365. Look, there's other reasons
that people get married.Copy !req
366. We could always adopt.Copy !req
367. What, and never have
children of our own?Copy !req
368. I just don't know if that's
gonna be possible.Copy !req
369. What did you think I'd do when I found
out your family were all midgets?Copy !req
370. Did you think I'd walk away?Copy !req
371. Keep saying "midgets,"
you'll piss a lot of people off.Copy !req
372. - I really don't care about that stuff.
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
373. Would it really be that big of a deal
if our kid was a dwarf?Copy !req
374. Look, it's not something
you just walk into.Copy !req
375. Well, you could have told me.Copy !req
376. Okay.Copy !req
377. I gotta go back to work, okay?Copy !req
378. I'll call you when I get some
time to talk, all right?Copy !req
379. Okay.Copy !req
380. See you at home.Copy !req
381. Okay.Copy !req
382. Catch me if you can.Copy !req
383. - I can't believe I didn't see it.
- What?Copy !req
384. What a treasure you are.Copy !req
385. Tell me where you come from.Copy !req
386. Well, my body's originally
from New York.Copy !req
387. But I've been communing
for the last three years in Phoenix.Copy !req
388. Phoenix.Copy !req
389. Tell me about Phoenix.Copy !req
390. Well, my ex-old man, Jerome,
he used to whittle wood jewelry.Copy !req
391. See?
He whittled all this for me.Copy !req
392. He even whittled me a wedding ring.
See the splinter?Copy !req
393. Then he turned really evil.
He was a truck driver...Copy !req
394. and those guys are all on crank.Copy !req
395. And there's those, you know,
transsexual prostitutes.Copy !req
396. Anyway, he flipped out
and thought I was an alien walk-in.Copy !req
397. - You don't wanna hear this stuff.
- No. No, I do.Copy !req
398. What?Copy !req
399. Oh, really?Copy !req
400. No, I'm sorry you're lonely.Copy !req
401. Yeah, well, maybe
your security guard pal.Copy !req
402. Now, maybe he can come over
and comfort you.Copy !req
403. No, really.
Sally, I'm not being snide.Copy !req
404. No.Copy !req
405. You know, okay, I'm a bastard.Copy !req
406. All right. Yeah.
I'm a motherfucker.Copy !req
407. I'm a dick too. Yeah?
I'm a fuckwad. I'm a fucking fart...!Copy !req
408. Sally, I'm gonna hang up.Copy !req
409. I'm...
Sally?Copy !req
410. I'm sorry, I...Copy !req
411. That was the girl that tried
to have me killed this morning.Copy !req
412. Well, I guess you have good reason
to be cross with her.Copy !req
413. Look, I'm sorry
if I acted weird this morning.Copy !req
414. It was all right.Copy !req
415. I was just in shock, is all.Copy !req
416. Meaning me?Copy !req
417. I'm pregnant, okay?Copy !req
418. It was something we were
making plans for, we just...Copy !req
419. We weren't planning
on it happening now.Copy !req
420. Right.Copy !req
421. And Steven?
He never told you about me?Copy !req
422. No. But Steven's a normal-size guy...Copy !req
423. so maybe a child
of ours wouldn't be affected.Copy !req
424. I'm not sure that's how it works.Copy !req
425. Well, I mean...Copy !req
426. what do I know, you know.
I'm not a doctor.Copy !req
427. I know some people, though,
who are...Copy !req
428. You know, they'd refer you
to a specialist or something.Copy !req
429. I could ask them.Copy !req
430. - Yeah.
- Congratulations. Either way.Copy !req
431. Thanks.Copy !req
432. We could've just gotten
this information on the phone.Copy !req
433. Yeah, we could...Copy !req
434. but what you need now
is a real support network.Copy !req
435. Hope my Uncle Bobby
don't yell at me.Copy !req
436. Don't freak out. It's not like
we're all dysfunctional or anything.Copy !req
437. Why is he gonna yell at you?Copy !req
438. Well, I didn't make
the convention Sunday night.Copy !req
439. - What convention?
- It's a thing for little people.Copy !req
440. It's an annual thing where
they get together...Copy !req
441. from all over the country
and they eat or they chat.Copy !req
442. Meet old friends, you know, catch up.Copy !req
443. - Asshole.
- We're here.Copy !req
444. Rolfe's here!
My dad's in the back yard.Copy !req
445. Yeah?Copy !req
446. Margaret, this is Carol. Carol, this
is Margaret. Margaret's my cousin.Copy !req
447. - Hi there.
- Hi.Copy !req
448. So you and Steven
are getting married.Copy !req
449. Yeah. I think maybe
he wanted it to be a surprise.Copy !req
450. Why? Now that
you're expecting a baby...Copy !req
451. nothing to grope around
in a fog of uncertainty.Copy !req
452. If I have this baby
and it turns out to be little...Copy !req
453. what does that mean
in terms of raising him?Copy !req
454. There'll be rough patches,
there's no doubt about it.Copy !req
455. But that's what life is all about.
Dealing with hardship.Copy !req
456. If a person can't deal with that,
then they can't ever be happy.Copy !req
457. Would you have had us again,
Daddy?Copy !req
458. I'd have to think long
and hard about that.Copy !req
459. Long and hard.Copy !req
460. I think what Carol's thinking about
is the medical aspects of the situation.Copy !req
461. Yeah, that's totally
what I'm thinking about.Copy !req
462. I could give you
a list of doctors to call...Copy !req
463. and give you literature
on organizations.Copy !req
464. - Good idea.
- Look at it when you get a chance.Copy !req
465. I will, thank you.
Thanks.Copy !req
466. Look, Carol, if you ever
need anybody to talk to...Copy !req
467. I want you to call me, okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
468. I mean it.Copy !req
469. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
470. Sweetheart, you don't have
anything to be sorry about.Copy !req
471. I'm just so embarrassed.Copy !req
472. Now, why on Earth
would you feel embarrassed?Copy !req
473. Because here I am, questioning
whether or not to bring a person...Copy !req
474. into the world who's just like you.Copy !req
475. Oh, my God,
what must I sound like?Copy !req
476. You're only concerned about
your baby. That's natural, honey.Copy !req
477. I just want my kid to have a happy,
productive life.Copy !req
478. Of course you do.Copy !req
479. There's nothing about being little that
precludes being happy. Or productive.Copy !req
480. Yeah.
Look at us.Copy !req
481. Hi, Steven.Copy !req
482. - Hey, sweetie, how you doing?
- Okay.Copy !req
483. Good, good.Copy !req
484. Have you been thinking about things?Copy !req
485. A little bit, you know?
I mean, it's been...Copy !req
486. pretty busy up here.Copy !req
487. Say, how'd it go with Rolfe?Copy !req
488. He's asleep on the couch.Copy !req
489. Well, good for him.
Good for him.Copy !req
490. What, is that a problem?Copy !req
491. No, no, that's not a problem.
No problem at all.Copy !req
492. We went for brunch
this afternoon...Copy !req
493. at your uncle's house.Copy !req
494. God, they were so nice.
Bobby invited me to a party...Copy !req
495. at Jerry Robin, Jr. 's
house tomorrow night.Copy !req
496. I was kind of hoping
we could all go together.Copy !req
497. - Tomorrow night?
- Yeah.Copy !req
498. Well, sure, Carol. I tell you what,
why don't I just meet you there.Copy !req
499. You know what, my battery
is just about to die on me.Copy !req
500. So I will see you tomorrow. Sleep tight
and sweet dreams, sweetie.Copy !req
501. Okay.Copy !req
502. That was smart.Copy !req
503. You wanna go to a party
tomorrow night?Copy !req
504. Oh, it looks like the mothership.Copy !req
505. - You look beautiful.
- Thanks.Copy !req
506. You said these parties got wild.
I never expected this.Copy !req
507. - Well, Jerry sure can throw a party.
- This party's loud.Copy !req
508. You know, Jerry, I think
you might be a little too old for me.Copy !req
509. Too old? Girl, you done
hurt my feelings.Copy !req
510. Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
511. - Hey, baby.
- Hey, sweetie.Copy !req
512. - You been drinking?
- No, silly. I can't drink. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
513. Yes, you are.Copy !req
514. I wanna introduce you
to a couple of my students.Copy !req
515. Darlene, Bernadette,
this is my fiancée, Carol.Copy !req
516. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
517. That's my favorite dress.Copy !req
518. There's sure a lot
of midgets around here.Copy !req
519. Actually, it's "little people. "Copy !req
520. There we go. Look who's brushing
up on the terminology.Copy !req
521. Is that Jerry Robin, Jr.
Sitting over there?Copy !req
522. - It sure is.
- I'm gonna get an autograph.Copy !req
523. - Hey.
- Yeah.Copy !req
524. - Wanna get a drink or something?
- I'd love to get a drink.Copy !req
525. - Hey, Sally. Hey, Rolfe.
- Hey.Copy !req
526. - Have you seen Maurice and Lucy?
- Oh, no, not again.Copy !req
527. - What happened to your eye?
- He was defending my honor.Copy !req
528. Yeah.Copy !req
529. - You wanna get a drink?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
530. That bourgeois shit
makes me want to vomit.Copy !req
531. Do you hear me?Copy !req
532. You don't approve of my methods?
Well, I don't approve of your methods.Copy !req
533. Would you mind
not doing that, please?Copy !req
534. - Doing what?
- Waving your finger in people's faces.Copy !req
535. - It's rude.
- Hey.Copy !req
536. You better back off, Goldie Hawn.
My man can do what he wants to do.Copy !req
537. Listen to me.Copy !req
538. Because I want you to know what
I think about your organization.Copy !req
539. You go, "We are the little people.
Please, we are so cute and cuddly.Copy !req
540. Don't discriminate against us. "Copy !req
541. Our organization has battled
long and hard...Copy !req
542. to sweep away those stereotypes.Copy !req
543. Another thing: I think the term
"little people" is demeaning.Copy !req
544. - Carol, Sally.
- Hi.Copy !req
545. What sort of political activity
do you suggest we create...Copy !req
546. once we disband,
because we're so bourgeois?Copy !req
547. What you people don't understand
is that political power...Copy !req
548. it grows out of the barrel of a gun.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
549. Now you want us to commit violence.Copy !req
550. We don't do that here.
Americans don't do that.Copy !req
551. Oh, Americans.Copy !req
552. Yeah, the people that saved
your ass during World War II.Copy !req
553. Oh, now you want to talk about
the fucking war.Copy !req
554. Why are we talking to this guy?Copy !req
555. - He is very passionate.
- Don't you patronize me.Copy !req
556. - Yeah.
- Who do you think you are?Copy !req
557. I am French!
And I'm proud to be French.Copy !req
558. I am proud not to eat this disgusting
swill you people call cuisine.Copy !req
559. - I am proud.
- Excuse my friend... Fuck.Copy !req
560. - Fuck.
- Fucking asshole.Copy !req
561. Bobby is my uncle. Besides being my
uncle, he happens to be a great guy.Copy !req
562. - He is nothing.
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
563. - Who the fuck are you, anyway?
- Hey, I know who I am.Copy !req
564. And I know what I am.
I am a Marxist.Copy !req
565. - Who are you?
- I don't wanna hear about it.Copy !req
566. Just lay off. I don't even wanna see
you the fuck near him. You got it?Copy !req
567. Fine.Copy !req
568. So have you known Rolfe
a long time?Copy !req
569. - Yeah, we used to date in high school.
- No, really?Copy !req
570. - He went to high school?
- Yeah, that was ages ago.Copy !req
571. I'm just waiting...Copy !req
572. What's the matter, you got some
kind of identity crisis going on?Copy !req
573. What are you talking about?Copy !req
574. Why didn't you tell
your girlfriend about us?Copy !req
575. What's it to you, man?Copy !req
576. Okay. Forget about us, forget about
family, you just focus on this:Copy !req
577. You knocked up this gal and didn't
tell her that her baby might be little.Copy !req
578. - And how's that any of your business?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I'm your brother.Copy !req
579. It hurts to think that
you're so ashamed of it.Copy !req
580. Oh, goddamn you, Rolfe.Copy !req
581. Man, sometimes
you are so full of shit.Copy !req
582. - I'm full of shit?
- Yeah, full of shit.Copy !req
583. Just because I'm not
one of these guys...Copy !req
584. who has to bare his soul
to everybody.Copy !req
585. - I'm not like you.
- Sorry, I should've been more careful.Copy !req
586. I should've kept in mind
that anyone who meets you...Copy !req
587. will automatically know that you've
got a twin brother who's a midget.Copy !req
588. - God.
- You know, when she saw me...Copy !req
589. she got it, straight up.Copy !req
590. And I just... I just...Copy !req
591. introduced her to people who could
answer some questions and that's it.Copy !req
592. Look, it's my life too, okay?Copy !req
593. If you wanna blame someone
for being nosy, then blame me.Copy !req
594. I needed information, I got it.
Rolfe didn't do anything.Copy !req
595. - Hey, you don't have to defend me.
- I can if I want.Copy !req
596. I'm gonna find Sally.
I'm gonna take Sally home.Copy !req
597. - Look, you want me to drive you?
- No, I'll take a cab.Copy !req
598. - Are you mad at me now?
- No, I'm not mad.Copy !req
599. I'm just bewildered.Copy !req
600. Look, Carol, I wish I had some
answers, all right? But I don't.Copy !req
601. - All right? Not right now. Come here.
- Yeah, well, it's been a crazy week.Copy !req
602. Yeah.Copy !req
603. - Jesús, Steven.
- It's gonna be all right, baby. All right?Copy !req
604. I'll make it up to you.
Just give me some time.Copy !req
605. I can't find her anywhere.Copy !req
606. - She's gotta be around here.
- I saw Sally there a little while ago.Copy !req
607. Thanks, Augie.Copy !req
608. You go get the car,
I'll help Rolfe find his girlfriend.Copy !req
609. Sally!Copy !req
610. Rolfe?
Hey, Rolfe, wait up.Copy !req
611. Oh, shit.Copy !req
612. - Rolfe.
- What's up, man?Copy !req
613. - Rolfe.
- That's it.Copy !req
614. - I'm done with you, Sally.
- Rolfe? Rolfe.Copy !req
615. Hey, Rolfe, wait up.Copy !req
616. - What's going on?
- Rolfe caught Sally...Copy !req
617. screwing Jerry Robin, Jr.Copy !req
618. - He's really broken up.
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
619. - Let's just go, okay?
- All right.Copy !req
620. - You got the ticket, sweetie?
- Yeah.Copy !req
621. - Here you go.
- Right away, sir.Copy !req
622. Listen, can you wait for me
just a second?Copy !req
623. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
624. What do you say, man?Copy !req
625. Carol told me what happened
and that's pretty fucked-up.Copy !req
626. What a bitch, huh?Copy !req
627. I was stupid to think anything
could be different or change.Copy !req
628. You think I'm stupid?Copy !req
629. - You're asking if I think you're stupid?
- You're taking too long to answer.Copy !req
630. Come on, get in the car.
Come home with us.Copy !req
631. - I'm waiting for a cab.
- Fuck the cab.Copy !req
632. - Come home with us, man.
- You sure?Copy !req
633. Yeah, I'm sure.Copy !req
634. You already been on the sofa,
haven't you?Copy !req
635. Hey.
You're awake.Copy !req
636. What's going on?Copy !req
637. Can't sleep.Copy !req
638. Why, what's the matter?Copy !req
639. It's not too late
to think about adopting.Copy !req
640. Look.Copy !req
641. I'm not one of those crazy
anti-abortion people, Steven...Copy !req
642. you know that.Copy !req
643. But I want this baby.Copy !req
644. Having a fucked-up kid
is no bed of roses, Carol.Copy !req
645. Hey. Do not apply the term
"fucked-up" to our child, okay?Copy !req
646. You know what I mean.Copy !req
647. Well, what was Rolfe's
childhood like?Copy !req
648. Did the other kids
give him a hard time?Copy !req
649. No, not really.Copy !req
650. There's other problems
with being little...Copy !req
651. besides the social stuff,
you know?Copy !req
652. - Like what, medical stuff?
- Yeah.Copy !req
653. I mean, when Rolfe was a kid...Copy !req
654. he was in a lot of pain.
He used to cry all the time.Copy !req
655. - Why? Being a little person hurts?
- Yeah.Copy !req
656. See, they've got...Copy !req
657. They've got organs, musculature,
that's too big for their skeleton.Copy !req
658. Yeah, right, but they have drugs
for that, don't they?Copy !req
659. Yeah, it's called morphine.Copy !req
660. Then sometimes they need surgery.Copy !req
661. What do you mean?
Did Rolfe need surgery?Copy !req
662. No. Thank God, oh, no.Copy !req
663. And what was
his teenage years like?Copy !req
664. Rolfe as a teenager?Copy !req
665. That guy got laid two years
before I did.Copy !req
666. - With Sally?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
667. You should've seen those two.
They were hysterical.Copy !req
668. They were like this dysfunctional
old couple, you know.Copy !req
669. This one time in school...Copy !req
670. and they couldn't have been
more than 15 years old...Copy !req
671. it was between classes...Copy !req
672. Sally corners Rolfe and she screams
at the top of her lungs...Copy !req
673. she says, "Rolfe Bedalia,
you haven't fucked me in five months. "Copy !req
674. The principal was there.
All the kids were there.Copy !req
675. You should've seen Rolfe's face.
It was beautiful.Copy !req
676. I was so goddamn
jealous of that guy.Copy !req
677. Have you ever been involved
with a little person sexually?Copy !req
678. No, just kid stuff, you know?Copy !req
679. All the kids would come over,
sit in a circle, play doctor.Copy !req
680. Couldn't have been more than 10
or 12, so that doesn't count.Copy !req
681. So you had a circle jerk
with a bunch of little people?Copy !req
682. I would've loved to see that.Copy !req
683. - You would like to see that.
- Yes, I would.Copy !req
684. - Are you sure you wanna do this?
- Yeah, I really am.Copy !req
685. You sure you're not just trying to make
some weird political statement?Copy !req
686. Oh, God.
What a peculiar thing to say.Copy !req
687. Well, I'm a peculiar guy.Copy !req
688. I'm serious.Copy !req
689. I think you have a lot of ambivalence
about your family being little.Copy !req
690. It's not healthy and I think you should
consider getting some help.Copy !req
691. Are you saying you think
I need to see a shrink?Copy !req
692. God, there's nothing wrong
with seeing a shrink, okay?Copy !req
693. Don't you see?Copy !req
694. It's not a good thing
for a child, if he's little...Copy !req
695. to have a father who's ambivalent
about little people.Copy !req
696. I hope you'll at least consider it.Copy !req
697. So tell me, Carol, what is it exactly
you do for a living?Copy !req
698. - I'm a painter.
- A painter?Copy !req
699. What, you mean, like, fine art?Copy !req
700. - Did you go to school?
- Yeah...Copy !req
701. to the New York School
of Art and Design.Copy !req
702. I'm impressed.Copy !req
703. - You mean you make money at that?
- Yeah, it pays the bills.Copy !req
704. Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Lefarge.
Welcome, I'm Steven.Copy !req
705. - How do you do?
- Very well.Copy !req
706. Carol said you were handsome.
Isn't he handsome?Copy !req
707. - Oh, my God.
- Y'all come on in.Copy !req
708. - How was the drive?
- Not bad, not bad.Copy !req
709. - Good.
- Mom, Dad.Copy !req
710. - Hi, sweetie.
- There you are.Copy !req
711. Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
Just beautiful.Copy !req
712. This is Steven's father, Bruno,
and his mom, Kathleen.Copy !req
713. And over behind the bar
is Steven's brother, Rolfe.Copy !req
714. - Hi.
- How are you?Copy !req
715. Everyone, this is my mom and dad,
Kirk and Sylvia.Copy !req
716. - Nice to meet you.
- So, what are y'all drinking?Copy !req
717. Let me have a 7 and 7.Copy !req
718. Sylvia?Copy !req
719. - She'll have a vodka tonic.
- Vodka tonic, coming up.Copy !req
720. - I'll help you.
- So you wanna come out back?Copy !req
721. - We're all set up out there.
- All right.Copy !req
722. Thought she might want a double.Copy !req
723. You all right?Copy !req
724. So there's pretty good money in this
firefighting business, is there?Copy !req
725. Well, actually, I train cadets
to be firefighters.Copy !req
726. And, you know, fires
are pretty much recession-proof.Copy !req
727. I'd say it's pretty steady, yeah.Copy !req
728. - Where did you learn all this stuff?
- In the Navy.Copy !req
729. - You're a Navy man?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
730. Well, what do you know?
Navy man myself.Copy !req
731. - All right.
- Where were you stationed?Copy !req
732. Get me that barbecue sauce
from the kitchen.Copy !req
733. Pop's pretty much a fanatic
when it comes to the barbecue.Copy !req
734. - You could've prepared us for this.
- I didn't think it was important.Copy !req
735. Embarrass me,
I won't speak to you.Copy !req
736. - So just get it together, Mom, okay?
- Always the nonconformist.Copy !req
737. - How's everybody's drink?
- Still working on mine, thanks.Copy !req
738. Sylvia?Copy !req
739. - Where's that sauce, Steven?
- Yeah, yeah, on it, Pop.Copy !req
740. Okay, everybody.
Hors d'oeuvre time.Copy !req
741. Everybody, please gather round.
I would like to propose a toast.Copy !req
742. Hey, Rolfie!Copy !req
743. To a very beautiful young woman
and a very fine young man...Copy !req
744. who are very much in love and who,
hopefully, as the years go by...Copy !req
745. will find the same joy
and happiness...Copy !req
746. that Steven's mother
and I have found these past 30 years.Copy !req
747. - Hear, hear.
- Amen.Copy !req
748. There once was a young fellow
from SpartaCopy !req
749. - No, Kirk.
- Who was a real whiz as a farterCopy !req
750. He'd fart anything,
from "God Save the King"Copy !req
751. To Beethoven's Moonlight SonataCopy !req
752. He'd fart a gavotte for a starter
And then a Handelian cantataCopy !req
753. Boost up his ass
Blast Bach's B minor MassCopy !req
754. And then counterpoint La TraviataCopy !req
755. That has to be the last one.Copy !req
756. - Obviously, he can't drink any more.
- Yes, he can.Copy !req
757. - No, no, this is getting better, yes.
- No, give him some water. My God.Copy !req
758. - You have no idea...
- Yes, drink away.Copy !req
759. You know, these steaks
are really delicious.Copy !req
760. Genuine prime rib.
I have it brought in from Omaha.Copy !req
761. - I'm stuffed like a pig.
- Save some room for dessert, Rolfe.Copy !req
762. Oh, no, I can't.
I can barely breathe, I'm so full.Copy !req
763. Is everything all right, Sylvia?Copy !req
764. Oh, yes.
I was just thinking, is all.Copy !req
765. Sylvia.
Don't think.Copy !req
766. I think that there's something
that we need to bring up...Copy !req
767. that you won't want to hear.
- Mom.Copy !req
768. I'm sorry. But this has
to be brought out into the open.Copy !req
769. I certainly wouldn't want anyone
to think that we're prejudiced people.Copy !req
770. Daddy.Copy !req
771. All right, Kirk, you tell them.Copy !req
772. You're a lot more diplomatic
than I am.Copy !req
773. Well, the fact of the matter is...Copy !req
774. Carol's grandfather
is getting on in years.Copy !req
775. - Please.
- And...Copy !req
776. he's an Orthodox Jew. And he's
never forgiven us for going Reform.Copy !req
777. So unless you can bring yourself
to have a Jewish wedding...Copy !req
778. would you at least consider
a civil ceremony?Copy !req
779. Otherwise, we won't
be able to invite him.Copy !req
780. I got no problem with
a Jewish wedding.Copy !req
781. Are you sure?Copy !req
782. Yeah. Mom?Copy !req
783. Pop? Carol?Copy !req
784. - Rolfe?
- Lf he dies before they get married...Copy !req
785. can we switch back to Catholic?Copy !req
786. When a man and a woman
come together before God...Copy !req
787. and announce their intentions...Copy !req
788. May God be blessed with
the men and women...Copy !req
789. of Israel and every generation...Copy !req
790. Look at that wedding dress.
That's a waste of a dress.Copy !req
791. Look at that belly.Copy !req
792. - I would not kick her out of bed.
- You're starting to piss me off now.Copy !req
793. Enough with her.Copy !req
794. But you love me.Copy !req
795. All right. But you know what?
That should be us down there, right?Copy !req
796. Don't you ever think of marrying me?Copy !req
797. Marriage is for morons.
It turns a lover into a relative.Copy !req
798. Like a brother...Copy !req
799. or a sister.Copy !req
800. I can't think of anything that takes
the passion out of a relationship...Copy !req
801. more than marriage.Copy !req
802. You may kiss the bride.Copy !req
803. Mazel tov!Copy !req
804. Oh, my God.Copy !req
805. Hello, Mrs. Bedalia.Copy !req
806. Nice name, huh?Copy !req
807. You know what?
Hold on one second.Copy !req
808. - I'll be right back.
- Okay.Copy !req
809. Rolfe.Copy !req
810. - Hey, what are you doing?
- I just wanted to say thank you.Copy !req
811. I haven't done anything.Copy !req
812. God, you did so much.
And I really appreciate it.Copy !req
813. Well, Steven's a...Copy !req
814. He's a very lucky guy.Copy !req
815. I just hope he's smart enough
not to screw it up.Copy !req
816. - So, what are you gonna do now?
- I'm gonna go to my parents' place.Copy !req
817. Cabin, Big Bear. For the winter.
Get some writing done.Copy !req
818. I think you're wonderful, Rolfe.Copy !req
819. Dr. Morgan, please report
to the administration desk.Copy !req
820. Dr. Morgan, please report
to the administration desk.Copy !req
821. - How you doing, Carol?
- Okay.Copy !req
822. Steven?Copy !req
823. We're gonna run some tests.Copy !req
824. Vincent's gonna have
to stay here at the clinic.Copy !req
825. Then we'll start him
on a long-term regimen...Copy !req
826. that we'll keep him
on through puberty.Copy !req
827. Just hang in there, honey, okay?
We can handle this.Copy !req
828. We're talking biweekly
hormone injections...Copy !req
829. monthly blood samples
to monitor his liver function.Copy !req
830. After a while you'll be able
to administer the injections yourself.Copy !req
831. - It's gonna be a big commitment.
- Yeah, but we're up for that.Copy !req
832. - Aren't we, Steven?
- Goddamn it!Copy !req
833. Damn it, how can you two
be so calm?Copy !req
834. Because I'm prepared.
And because we don't have a choice.Copy !req
835. I read all the books
that you recommended.Copy !req
836. Good.
I think you'll be fine.Copy !req
837. - As for you...
- Yeah, what about me?Copy !req
838. Please, Steven,
you're gonna frighten the baby.Copy !req
839. - What about me?
- I think you should seek...Copy !req
840. some counseling.
- That's what I told him.Copy !req
841. Look, what I need...Copy !req
842. are new chromosomes.Copy !req
843. You're making this so much harder
than it needs to be...Copy !req
844. do you know that?Copy !req
845. I can't talk to him.
He won't listen to me.Copy !req
846. Nurse Simon, please pick up line six.
Nurse Simon, please pick up line six.Copy !req
847. - How you doing, sweetie?
- I'm okay. Are you okay?Copy !req
848. How's he doing?Copy !req
849. Let me take him for a while.Copy !req
850. Are you sure?Copy !req
851. Yeah.Copy !req
852. - Got him?
- Yeah.Copy !req
853. Yeah.Copy !req
854. Listen to this guy, huh?Copy !req
855. Oh, my God, he's been going
like this for two hours straight.Copy !req
856. He hurts.Copy !req
857. Yeah, well, I gave him
the drops, but...Copy !req
858. They seemed to help
a little bit, but...Copy !req
859. - Give him something stronger.
- I can't. I called them.Copy !req
860. They said it was normal
for babies with his condition.Copy !req
861. What?Copy !req
862. Just say the word one time.Copy !req
863. - What?
- Just say the word one time, Carol.Copy !req
864. - Please, Steven...
- What's his condition?Copy !req
865. Ten months, you haven't said
it one time. What's his condition?Copy !req
866. Why is he crying? Why is he hurting?
Because he's a dwarf.Copy !req
867. - Carol, he's a dwarf!
- Stop it!Copy !req
868. - He's a baby and you're scaring him!
- A baby and a dwarf...Copy !req
869. and he's crying because he hurts.Copy !req
870. - Fuck you!
- His insides can't get outside.Copy !req
871. - Fuck you!
- One time!Copy !req
872. One time, say the goddamn word!Copy !req
873. He's a dwarf!Copy !req
874. I'm a dwarf!Copy !req
875. Look, this can't go on anymore.Copy !req
876. Carol, this is just not working out.Copy !req
877. Look, no one said
this was gonna be easy.Copy !req
878. I know.Copy !req
879. But it's not getting any better.
Not between us, it's not.Copy !req
880. Oh, Steven.Copy !req
881. I can't take it.Copy !req
882. I mean, it's obvious
that I'm just making things worse.Copy !req
883. I just think I can
do better by Vincent...Copy !req
884. we can do better by Vincent...Copy !req
885. if I'm somewhere else.Copy !req
886. And you really think that?Copy !req
887. Yeah.Copy !req
888. I do.Copy !req
889. Expecting someone?Copy !req
890. Not me.Copy !req
891. Did you fart?Copy !req
892. No, I did not fart.Copy !req
893. Enough.Copy !req
894. Hey.Copy !req
895. What are you doing here?Copy !req
896. Steven and I separated.Copy !req
897. I hope this isn't too much
of an inconvenience.Copy !req
898. No, not at all.Copy !req
899. Is it okay if we stay for a few days?Copy !req
900. Sure. Stay as long as you like.Copy !req
901. Thanks.Copy !req
902. Is this my nephew?Copy !req
903. Holy cow.Copy !req
904. He's a good-looking kid.Copy !req
905. Hey.Copy !req
906. Come in.Copy !req
907. So how do you guys get by
so far from civilization?Copy !req
908. It's a perfect situation for a writer.Copy !req
909. - Oh, how's it going, your writing?
- It's pretty good.Copy !req
910. I'm syndicated in three papers.Copy !req
911. The San Diegan, The Fresno Bee
and the Chicago Tribune.Copy !req
912. That's so great.Copy !req
913. Rolfe's a middle-of-the-road kind
of guy. That's what they want.Copy !req
914. Yeah, Maurice thinks that my views
aren't radical enough.Copy !req
915. - They aren't.
- From what I remember...Copy !req
916. of your politics, I don't think they'd
go over in a mainstream paper.Copy !req
917. You better be careful,
they could lock you in a loony bin...Copy !req
918. and that's not fun.Copy !req
919. If Maurice had his way,
he'd take the heads...Copy !req
920. of the members of Congress, put
them on a spear and display them...Copy !req
921. out on the White House lawn.Copy !req
922. Yeah, that sounds like the Maurice
I remember.Copy !req
923. One day, I wanna buy a place like this.Copy !req
924. Well, until you do, you can stay here
as long as you want.Copy !req
925. Superb.Copy !req
926. We need a woman around here.Copy !req
927. Someone to do the dishes,
someone to wash the clothes.Copy !req
928. In your dreams, pal.Copy !req
929. Maurice probably liked it in the
Dark Ages when we scrubbed...Copy !req
930. the skidmarks
out of your loincloth.Copy !req
931. I think the women's liberation
movement is an excuse...Copy !req
932. for every poor female pig
who needed a reason...Copy !req
933. not to clean up after themselves.
- You know what?Copy !req
934. Until you stop blasting a hole in the
ozone with your toxic gas attacks...Copy !req
935. this little maid's on an extended
coffee break.Copy !req
936. Feeding time again.Copy !req
937. If you drink, does he get drunk too?Copy !req
938. I'm not drunk.Copy !req
939. Well, maybe a little bit.Copy !req
940. Hey, you ever hear from Sally?Copy !req
941. Sally? No. We're...Copy !req
942. not in contact right now.Copy !req
943. I liked her.Copy !req
944. She had her good points.Copy !req
945. Yeah, well, fuckability, Maurice,
is not the be-all and end-all...Copy !req
946. Your relationship with Lucy
is nothing to crow about!Copy !req
947. Now they fight like this all the time!Copy !req
948. That's a shame.
You seem like a really good couple.Copy !req
949. Turn it down!Copy !req
950. Lucy, I've had it with you!Copy !req
951. I am not your old lady anymore,
Maurice.Copy !req
952. I am moving out of your teepee.Copy !req
953. That is just super with me!
I can't take it anymore!Copy !req
954. Bye, Rolfe. Thanks for everything.Copy !req
955. Lucy, I really hate to see you
leave like this.Copy !req
956. - I am leaving you first.
- Oh, no, you're not. You know what?Copy !req
957. Last one who leaves is a rotten egg.Copy !req
958. Hey.Copy !req
959. How are you, buddy?Copy !req
960. Hey.Copy !req
961. Caught in the act.Copy !req
962. Well, he was awake.Copy !req
963. I figured you could use a break.Copy !req
964. You go on. Go back to bed.Copy !req
965. Really. Get some rest.Copy !req
966. - Are you sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
967. I'm no expert on babies...Copy !req
968. but I think
I got things covered here.Copy !req
969. He's okay.Copy !req
970. Thanks.Copy !req
971. Good night.Copy !req
972. Hey, Carol.Copy !req
973. How was your drive?Copy !req
974. It was good.Copy !req
975. It was uneventful, you know.Copy !req
976. Look at you.Copy !req
977. He's getting big and strong.Copy !req
978. Yeah, he is.Copy !req
979. Hello, Vincent.Copy !req
980. My little man.Copy !req
981. How you doing?Copy !req
982. I'm doing all right.Copy !req
983. I'm working on it.Copy !req
984. Trying to be the man
that you want me to be.Copy !req
985. You've gotta want it too, Steven.Copy !req
986. You know what, I do want it.Copy !req
987. I love you.Copy !req
988. I know that.Copy !req
989. I've never doubted that for a moment.Copy !req
990. But it's not about
you and me anymore.Copy !req
991. You've gotta love our child.Copy !req
992. You don't think that I love Vincent?Copy !req
993. No, I know that you do.Copy !req
994. It's just, you can't show it.Copy !req
995. If you can't show it,
then as far as he's concerned...Copy !req
996. it might as well not exist.Copy !req
997. Don't you see? Right now,
you don't have a lot to offer him.Copy !req
998. No. You're... You're wrong.Copy !req
999. That's what I want. I...Copy !req
1000. I wanna show it.Copy !req
1001. All right? If you'll just give me
another chance.Copy !req
1002. Look, what goes on
between a parent and a child...Copy !req
1003. that's what's really important.Copy !req
1004. Vincent's gotta come first.Copy !req
1005. I'm not angry with you, okay?Copy !req
1006. I'm not angry.Copy !req
1007. And I don't hate you.Copy !req
1008. So, what are you gonna do, Carol?Copy !req
1009. You gonna live up here in the woods
like a couple of hippies?Copy !req
1010. Listen to me, okay?Copy !req
1011. This way, we can all still be family.Copy !req
1012. You can see your kid
whenever you want.Copy !req
1013. But he can't wait around for you.
He has too many needs right now.Copy !req
1014. - I'm his father.
- But right now you're too self-involved.Copy !req
1015. You're too confused.Copy !req
1016. I've got too much to do already without
spending my time bringing you along.Copy !req
1017. And this is what you want?Copy !req
1018. This is what I think is right.Copy !req
1019. Hey, Rolfe.Copy !req
1020. Boy, what you two
must think of me, huh?Copy !req
1021. What does that mean?Copy !req
1022. You're still my brother.Copy !req
1023. Coming in?Copy !req
1024. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
1025. I'm gonna say goodbye to Vincent
and head on back to the city.Copy !req
1026. Are you mad at me?Copy !req
1027. No, I'm not mad.Copy !req
1028. I'll see you around, big boy.Copy !req
1029. Love my son.Copy !req
1030. You're gonna be okay, Steven.Copy !req
1031. I'm gonna do my best.Copy !req
1032. You okay?Copy !req
1033. Yeah.Copy !req
1034. A little shook-up.Copy !req
1035. I don't think I'll be getting to sleep
anytime soon.Copy !req
1036. Here.Copy !req
1037. Come with me.Copy !req
1038. Come on.Copy !req
1039. You okay?Copy !req
1040. It's heavenly.Copy !req
1041. Absolutely heavenly.Copy !req
1042. Look at the stars.
They're so bright up there.Copy !req
1043. Rolfe.Copy !req
1044. What?Copy !req
1045. You can kiss me if you want.Copy !req