1. You've got it! Come on!
Do it, babe!Copy !req
2. Come on, babe. Push!Copy !req
3. Ooh! Ooh! Ooooh!Copy !req
4. Push, push.Copy !req
5. You can do it!Copy !req
6. Push!Copy !req
7. Ooh, it's a big 'un.
Oh, I can feel it coming.Copy !req
8. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, dear!Copy !req
9. - One more push. Oh!
- Come on!Copy !req
10. One more!Copy !req
11. Come on! Try and push!Copy !req
12. I can see its head.
Come on, Mrs Smash.Copy !req
13. It's a flyer!Copy !req
14. - Well done!Copy !req
15. It's a boy, Mr Smash.Copy !req
16. That was the first day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
17. - Grab this, Doc.Copy !req
18. For about 30 seconds,Copy !req
19. ..my mum and dad were
the happiest people in the world.Copy !req
20. - Say cheese!
- And then it happened.Copy !req
21. And it never stopped happening.Copy !req
22. Your turn, darling.Copy !req
23. Go to sleep.Copy !req
24. Dad found my problem
really hard.Copy !req
25. But for a while,
he coped really well.Copy !req
26. One time,Copy !req
27. .. he really thought he'd solved it.Copy !req
28. - I'd play in my playpen for hours...Copy !req
29. .. while he'd read the paper.Copy !req
30. Uh!Copy !req
31. - Aaah!Copy !req
32. That time,
Dad went to hospital for ages.Copy !req
33. When he got home,
he had to work nearly all the time.Copy !req
34. Don't go, please!Copy !req
35. In the end, Dad decided
to go to work forever.Copy !req
36. - I can't do it any more!Copy !req
37. - Get away from the car.Copy !req
38. After that, my sister Denise
didn't talk to me much.Copy !req
39. Even my mum
went a bit quiet.Copy !req
40. Got your Iunchbox?Copy !req
41. So I was really looking forward
to going to school...Copy !req
42. .. and making some friends.Copy !req
43. Give Mummy a kiss.Copy !req
44. - Oh.Copy !req
45. Morning, children!Copy !req
46. Morning, Miss Little.Copy !req
47. Children, this is Patrick Smash.Copy !req
48. Patrick Smash, say hello.Copy !req
49. It wasn't a good start.Copy !req
50. - Fart boy!
- Sit down, children.Copy !req
51. All the kids pointed
and shouted.Copy !req
52. Except one.Copy !req
53. That was the day I met Alan.Copy !req
54. We did everything together.Copy !req
55. I don't know what it was,
we just clicked.Copy !req
56. Alan was great.
He liked me for who I was.Copy !req
57. And he didn't care
about my problem.Copy !req
58. Alan had no sense ofsmell.Copy !req
59. Alan was my best friend.Copy !req
60. Alan was my only friend.Copy !req
61. But every day was a constant
struggle with my problem.Copy !req
62. And every day, I tried to avoid...Copy !req
63. .. Damon.Copy !req
64. Look who it isn't.
Patrick Smash.Copy !req
65. What are you doing in my corner
of the playground, Smash?Copy !req
66. You ain't nothing
but a big, fat loser.Copy !req
67. Give us your Iunchbox.Copy !req
68. - Ugh. What's this crap?
- It's special food,Copy !req
69. ..to help me with my problem.Copy !req
70. No, it's not. It's crap!Copy !req
71. I want jam tomorrow. All right?Copy !req
72. Hello, Patrick.Copy !req
73. - How progresses the day?
- All right, thanks, AIan.Copy !req
74. Oh, no! We've been invaded by
creatures from the planet Zorg!Copy !req
75. The nearest star, Proxima Centaura,
is four Iight years away.Copy !req
76. It is debatable
that this stellar body...Copy !req
77. .. holds within
its gravitational pull...Copy !req
78. ..a planetary system of any kind,Copy !req
79. .. let alone one that goes by
the appellation of Zorg.Copy !req
80. - If we widen our...
- Shut up, Zorg boy.Copy !req
81. Good one, Damon.Copy !req
82. You suck, Zorg boy!Copy !req
83. Idiot.Copy !req
84. What am I, Patrick?Copy !req
85. Um...Copy !req
86. AIan?Copy !req
87. I'm a blithering idiot.Copy !req
88. My attempt to embarrass them
with my astrophysics...Copy !req
89. .. was, quite frankly,
a foolish waste of time.Copy !req
90. AIan, why do you talk
in that funny way?Copy !req
91. I speak with clarity
and precision.Copy !req
92. The ability to utilise Ianguage
is just one of my many talents,Copy !req
93. .. talents which will enable me
to realise my dream.Copy !req
94. - What dream?
- I am an inventor, Patrick.Copy !req
95. Currently, I am engaged
in the creation of a machine...Copy !req
96. .. that will fly without depleting
the earth's precious resources.Copy !req
97. I will build that machine.Copy !req
98. I will win that competition.
I am AIan. I am me.Copy !req
99. That is what makes me strong.Copy !req
100. Sir John, are you...
are you all right?Copy !req
101. Fine, dear Iady.Copy !req
102. It is, quite simply, my craft.Copy !req
103. Sir John Osgood, children.Copy !req
104. The second-greatest tenor
in the world!Copy !req
105. Thank you very much, Sir John.Copy !req
106. - I'm so grateful.
- Pleasure, headmistress.Copy !req
107. - All stand.Copy !req
108. Right, you lot.
Absolute silence!Copy !req
109. Not a peep. Not a sound.
Not a whisper!Copy !req
110. Not a breath.Copy !req
111. Let us pray...Copy !req
112. .. that when you grow
from children...Copy !req
113. .. into sensible adults,Copy !req
114. ..you will have a talent
close to mine.Copy !req
115. Let us give thanks for the gift...Copy !req
116. .. of my music.Copy !req
117. Let us pray...Copy !req
118. .. for healthy ticket sales
for my upcoming world tour.Copy !req
119. And now, silence,Copy !req
120. .. for a few moments
of inner contemplation.Copy !req
121. Uh...Copy !req
122. Ah!Copy !req
123. Smash!Copy !req
124. You have ruined
Sir John's visit!Copy !req
125. You are,
without a shadow of a doubt,Copy !req
126. .. the foulest Iittle creature
to walk the earth.Copy !req
127. Now, get out!Copy !req
128. That was the worst day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
129. Fart boy!Copy !req
130. I'm sorry. Terribly sorry.Copy !req
131. Would you like to retire
to the staff room...Copy !req
132. .. for a Bourbon biscuit
and a cup of tea?Copy !req
133. There you go, sweetheart.Copy !req
134. There's your beans.Copy !req
135. I'd had enough.Copy !req
136. I was fed up.Copy !req
137. At moments like this,
I'd think about my dream.Copy !req
138. (TV) The latest rocket
in the Zeus programme...Copy !req
139. I dreamed that one day
I'd become a spaceman.Copy !req
140. (TV) .. for a series ofcomplex,
highly technical experiments...Copy !req
141. ..in zero gravity.Copy !req
142. Oh. And there she goes.Copy !req
143. There she does indeed go.Copy !req
144. "Dear Space Centre. Today
I watched the space launch on TV. 'Copy !req
145. "l want to be a spaceman. "Copy !req
146. "But I have a problem. "Copy !req
147. "l cannot control my arse. "Copy !req
148. "Would that be a worry?"Copy !req
149. "Love, Patrick Smash. "Copy !req
150. (TV) l'mjoined now
by General Ed Sheppard,Copy !req
151. .. commander-in-chiefofoperations
at the US Space Centre.Copy !req
152. General,
that was an incredible launch.Copy !req
153. You must be... over the moon.Copy !req
154. - lndeed we are, Todd.Copy !req
155. Tell us, General,
what makes an astronaut?Copy !req
156. I'll tell you what makes
an astronaut, Todd.Copy !req
157. You gotta be focused,
determined...Copy !req
158. .. and in complete control
of yourself.Copy !req
159. But most of all,
all of my astronauts,Copy !req
160. .. each and every one
has worked hard...Copy !req
161. ..to overcome their problems.Copy !req
162. And each one of them...Copy !req
163. ..is a uniquely gifted individual.Copy !req
164. The crew must be
really special people.Copy !req
165. General, thank you for taking
the time to talk to us today.Copy !req
166. - And good luck with the mission.
- Thank you, Todd.Copy !req
167. And cake news.:Copy !req
168. Today, a local lady
achieved national...Copy !req
169. Overcome my problems.Copy !req
170. Uniquely gifted individual.Copy !req
171. AIan.Copy !req
172. Fascinating!Copy !req
173. So you would like me
to eliminate...Copy !req
174. .. that which has made you
an outsider...Copy !req
175. ..in the eyes of society?Copy !req
176. No, AIan. It's my arse.Copy !req
177. I want you to make something
to stop me farting.Copy !req
178. My flying machine
is proving to be...Copy !req
179. ..a greater challenge
than anticipated.Copy !req
180. It should work, but it doesn't.Copy !req
181. The flight competition
is still a week away,Copy !req
182. ..so a day's respite
will clear my mind.Copy !req
183. Yes, Patrick.Copy !req
184. I will construct a machine
and before you know it,Copy !req
185. ..you will be in total control
of your sphincter.Copy !req
186. Does that mean
you're going to help me?Copy !req
187. Quite so, Patrick. Now, leave me.Copy !req
188. There is work to be done.Copy !req
189. So with Alan's help,
I felt sure we would succeed.Copy !req
190. But things were already
happening around us...Copy !req
191. .. that would change our lives...Copy !req
192. ..in ways we could
never have guessed.Copy !req
193. Thunderpants!Copy !req
194. All right, Patrick,
we're ready for you!Copy !req
195. - Ah!
- Good.Copy !req
196. The thunderpants
will contain the emissions...Copy !req
197. ..in the airtight rubber Iining...Copy !req
198. .. within the rigid
copper exoskeleton.Copy !req
199. Now, evacuate
into the holding unit.Copy !req
200. Evacuate into the holding unit.Copy !req
201. The Iunchbox.Copy !req
202. There's a button
on the handle.Copy !req
203. A-ha!Copy !req
204. The gases have been vented
into this Iunchbox...Copy !req
205. .. which will be able to hold
a full day's emissions...Copy !req
206. ..in perfect safety.Copy !req
207. What do I do
when it's full up?Copy !req
208. Nothing could be simpler.Copy !req
209. Gas transfer successful.Copy !req
210. Total containment.Copy !req
211. What am I?Copy !req
212. I'm a blithering idiot.Copy !req
213. A blithering idiot?Copy !req
214. I'm a genius!Copy !req
215. Alan had done it.Copy !req
216. He had managed to make me
the same as everybody else.Copy !req
217. It was the best day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
218. All stand.Copy !req
219. Not a peep. Not a sound.Copy !req
220. Not a whisper. Not a breath.Copy !req
221. All of my astronauts,
each and every one,Copy !req
222. .. has worked hard...Copy !req
223. ..to overcome their problems.Copy !req
224. And each one of them
is a uniquely gifted individual.Copy !req
225. Hello, Patrick.
How progresses the day?Copy !req
226. It's great, AIan.Copy !req
227. I feel like new!
These thunderpants are brilliant.Copy !req
228. A first-class engineering job.Copy !req
229. CIearly, continued monitoring
of the situation is required.Copy !req
230. But I have no doubt...Copy !req
231. .. these pants will withstand
the test of time.Copy !req
232. AIan,Copy !req
233. SIight adjustment.Copy !req
234. AIan, now you've solved
my problem,Copy !req
235. .. can you find my unique gift?Copy !req
236. Ah! That got it.Copy !req
237. Your what? Gift? Oh, er,
nothing could be simpler.Copy !req
238. You don't have one.Copy !req
239. Oi, you!Copy !req
240. Why are you in my corner
of the playground, Smash?Copy !req
241. But... I thought
that's your corner.Copy !req
242. Nah. I decided
I didn't like that corner.Copy !req
243. I've chosen this corner instead.Copy !req
244. All right, fart boy,
what's for Iunch?Copy !req
245. - Don't, Damon, don't!
- I... I...Copy !req
246. I think it would be most unwise
for you to disengage that...Copy !req
247. Push off, Zorg boy!
This had better be jam, Smash.Copy !req
248. 'Gas transfer successful. 'Copy !req
249. - Bet he's not farting now!Copy !req
250. I warned you, fart boy.
I gave you every chance.Copy !req
251. What d'you do?
You fart in my face.Copy !req
252. Well, now you're for it!Copy !req
253. Get him!Copy !req
254. (boy) Fart boy.Copy !req
255. Fart boy! Fart boy!Copy !req
256. That was the worst day
of my life,Copy !req
257. .. ever.Copy !req
258. (TV) In space news today,Copy !req
259. .. the electrical systems on board
the space station lcarus...Copy !req
260. .. have caused concern.Copy !req
261. lcarus Control tell us
there is no cause for alarm.Copy !req
262. Hello, Patrick.
Mind if I come in?Copy !req
263. - I missed you at school.
- I'm not going back.Copy !req
264. - I told Mum I'm ill.
- I repaired the thunderpants.Copy !req
265. I don't care.
I know now, AIan.Copy !req
266. You told me,
I haven't got a unique gift.Copy !req
267. My dream's never going
to come true.Copy !req
268. But the thunderpants work.Copy !req
269. They're stronger than ever now.Copy !req
270. You can try to avoid Damon.Copy !req
271. - That's your dream right there.
- That's not my dream.Copy !req
272. - I thought you wanted a cure.
- I did.Copy !req
273. But that wasn't my dream.Copy !req
274. I want to be a spaceman.Copy !req
275. I've always wanted
to be a spaceman,Copy !req
276. .. ever since I was small.Copy !req
277. I love rockets
and I love space.Copy !req
278. If I was a spaceman,
I could fly into space...Copy !req
279. .. and everybody will know
it was me, Patrick Smash.Copy !req
280. I could look down at the earth
and it would be tiny.Copy !req
281. People like Damon
would be so small,Copy !req
282. ..you couldn't even see them.Copy !req
283. You could hardly even see
the country they were in.Copy !req
284. And they'd look up to space...Copy !req
285. .. and know that I was up there
and I was free.Copy !req
286. Patrick Smash,Copy !req
287. .. spaceman.Copy !req
288. That's what they'll say.Copy !req
289. Oh, good heavens, Patrick!
Have you lost your mind?Copy !req
290. Why,Copy !req
291. ..to be an astronaut,
you need training.Copy !req
292. You need to be
at a physical peak.Copy !req
293. You need to have passed exams
at the highest Ievels.Copy !req
294. Yeah.Copy !req
295. Of course.Copy !req
296. Patrick? I... I didn't mean...Copy !req
297. I... I... Oh.Copy !req
298. Good Lord!Copy !req
299. What is it? Tell me.Copy !req
300. Look at this. The boy's got
two stomachs. Incredible.Copy !req
301. Like a cow.Copy !req
302. Unbelievable.
I've never seen the like.Copy !req
303. Young Patsy
is a unique individual.Copy !req
304. - He's a medical phenomenon.
- But why?Copy !req
305. Why? Haven't a clue.Copy !req
306. But for some unknown reason,Copy !req
307. .. Mother Nature has bestowed
upon Iittle Patsy...Copy !req
308. ..a completely useless gift.Copy !req
309. What was that bit
about the... gift, Mr Doctor?Copy !req
310. Gift. I said you've got a gift,
young man.Copy !req
311. Do I have to syringe out
your ears as well?Copy !req
312. Let's get this young slacker
back to school forthwith,Copy !req
313. - Mrs Crash.
- Smash.Copy !req
314. The doctor himselfcalled me
a unique individual.Copy !req
315. A medical phenomenon.Copy !req
316. He said I had a... gift.Copy !req
317. That was the best day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
318. But what happened next
was destined to change my life...Copy !req
319. ..in ways I could never
have guessed.Copy !req
320. You!Copy !req
321. Boy! Yes, you.Copy !req
322. What's your name?Copy !req
323. No!Copy !req
324. Don't run away!Copy !req
325. Sir John!Copy !req
326. That note! It was beautiful.Copy !req
327. Simply remarkable.Copy !req
328. Amazing.Copy !req
329. Only PIacido P PIaceedo
has ever reached it before.Copy !req
330. Until now, sir.Copy !req
331. Gosh! You could be
the world's number one.Copy !req
332. What? Oh, no, no.Copy !req
333. That was the child who...Copy !req
334. The child, sir? I...Copy !req
335. The child!Copy !req
336. You were right, Patrick.
You do have a gift. Why,Copy !req
337. .. the configuration of stomachs...Copy !req
338. .. puts me in mind
of a fission chamber...Copy !req
339. .. coupled with some kind
of propulsion module.Copy !req
340. This is exactly what
I've been Iooking for!Copy !req
341. Yes!Copy !req
342. I might even use
the thunderpants.Copy !req
343. This could be revolutionary!
Patrick, my friend,Copy !req
344. ..my flying machine
will succeed after all.Copy !req
345. What am I, Patrick?Copy !req
346. - Er,
- I'm a genius.Copy !req
347. - A genius?
- No! No, no, no. Well, yes.Copy !req
348. Actually, I am a genius,
but I am also an imbecile.Copy !req
349. The very thing
I've been trying to contain...Copy !req
350. ..is the very thing...Copy !req
351. .. that will make us
sail through the heavens!Copy !req
352. It's the annual madness...Copy !req
353. .. of the non-assisted flight
competition.Copy !req
354. A handsome cash purse awaits
the first man or woman...Copy !req
355. .. who can travel 100 feet...Copy !req
356. .. without the use of motors, engines,
power cells or fossil fuels.Copy !req
357. World-famous tenor
Sir John Osgood,Copy !req
358. .. England's answer
to PIacido P PIaceedo,Copy !req
359. .. has joined us
to present the winning prize.Copy !req
360. Sir John has found time
in his busy schedule,Copy !req
361. .. rehearsing for his world tour,Copy !req
362. .. where he hopes to reach
the high note...Copy !req
363. ..in Bartorelli's
Unperformable Seventh.Copy !req
364. Just pop you there.Copy !req
365. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
366. .. please put your hands together...Copy !req
367. .. for the second-best tenor
in the world,Copy !req
368. Sir John...Copy !req
369. - .. Osgood!Copy !req
370. - Radishes? Curried eggs?
- Check!Copy !req
371. - Runner beans? Courgettes?
- Check!Copy !req
372. - Aubergine? Cabbage?
- Check!Copy !req
373. - Spinach?
- Check!Copy !req
374. Sprouts?Copy !req
375. No. You said
you'd bring sprouts.Copy !req
376. I most assuredly did not.Copy !req
377. You did, AIan. I remember.Copy !req
378. You said!Copy !req
379. I can't do it without the sprouts,
AIan! I need 'em!Copy !req
380. I need 'em! I need 'em!Copy !req
381. I need...Copy !req
382. Calm down, Patrick.
Calm down.Copy !req
383. It's me. AIan.Copy !req
384. We are Patrick and AIan,
the team.Copy !req
385. With your gift, my genius
and our friendship,Copy !req
386. .. we can never go wrong!Copy !req
387. - Thanks, AIan.Copy !req
388. Thanks for being a friend.Copy !req
389. First up,Copy !req
390. .. the flying Dutchman himself,
Vincent Vincente,Copy !req
391. .. with his magnificent creation,Copy !req
392. .. AIbatross IV.Copy !req
393. OK. When you're ready,Copy !req
394. .. take it away, Vincent!Copy !req
395. Now, isn't that beautiful?Copy !req
396. Doesn't that remind you
of an albatross?Copy !req
397. Oh, dear. Perhaps more of a dodo.
It's going nowhere.Copy !req
398. Next up, Don Coaty
with his vortex technology...Copy !req
399. .. Hurricane of Power!Copy !req
400. And off they go,
the FIight of Fancy!Copy !req
401. Oh.Copy !req
402. He's going...
He's going... Oh!Copy !req
403. A big round of applause
for Mrs Bishop!Copy !req
404. Goodbye, Charles!Copy !req
405. Ooh!Copy !req
406. Lesley Parsons,
if that takes off,Copy !req
407. ..I'll eat my hat!Copy !req
408. Oh, dear!Copy !req
409. Bye-bye, Stephen.
Have a nice time in hospital.Copy !req
410. Oh, it's the Birdman himself,Copy !req
411. .. Jackie Jackson.
Off you go, Jackie!Copy !req
412. - Nice to see you back, Jackie.Copy !req
413. Oh, and, er, finally,Copy !req
414. .. we have... Patrick Smash...Copy !req
415. .. and AIan A AIIen,Copy !req
416. .. with Thunderpants II. Hm.Copy !req
417. Well, seems to be
two young boys.Copy !req
418. My apologies.
I know you all want your tea.Copy !req
419. Let's get a couple of shots
of these clowns.Copy !req
420. Quick as you can, boys.Copy !req
421. Off you go.Copy !req
422. - Ready, Patrick?
- I think so, AIan.Copy !req
423. Shall I fart now?Copy !req
424. Engage.Copy !req
425. Look at this, everyone!
Gary, wave them off!Copy !req
426. They're moving!Copy !req
427. They're moving forward.Copy !req
428. This is absolutely amazing!Copy !req
429. They're actually flying!Copy !req
430. Go on!Copy !req
431. Keep it up, Patrick.
I'll get it!Copy !req
432. Phwoar!Copy !req
433. - The note!Copy !req
434. I haven't got much left
in me, AIan.Copy !req
435. - Keep going! You can do it.
- It's no good, I can't!Copy !req
436. Do it for me.Copy !req
437. Come on!Copy !req
438. Cheer them on,
Iadies and gentlemen!Copy !req
439. They can do it!Copy !req
440. Come on! This is the big one.Copy !req
441. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
442. .. this is an historic day!Copy !req
443. - Patrick, we did it!Copy !req
444. Patrick, let's make
our next project Thunderpants III.Copy !req
445. A giant rocket with enough power
to soar into space!Copy !req
446. Well done, boys!Copy !req
447. With your gift, my genius
and our friendship,Copy !req
448. .. we'll never go wrong.Copy !req
449. ..as they crossed
the finish line.Copy !req
450. Patrick Smash and AIan A AIIen...Copy !req
451. (TV) ..in the most remarkable
flying machine...Copy !req
452. .. this reporter has ever seen.Copy !req
453. Patrick Smash
andAlan Allen!Copy !req
454. Well done!Copy !req
455. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
456. ..l give you the outright winners
of 100 English pounds!Copy !req
457. - Johnson.
- Sir.Copy !req
458. - Well?
- Yes, sir, they did it. They won.Copy !req
459. - Excellent.
- Remarkable, sir.Copy !req
460. So that was it.
I'd conquered my problem...Copy !req
461. .. and found my gift.Copy !req
462. Alan was going to help me
be a spaceman.Copy !req
463. But first,Copy !req
464. ..l had some unfinished business
to take care of.Copy !req
465. - Oh, here's Zorg boy.Copy !req
466. I can't believe my eyes, Smash.
You've got some nerve.Copy !req
467. I finished you at school...Copy !req
468. .. and now you show your stupid
farty face in my place?Copy !req
469. It's not your place. It's mine.Copy !req
470. Oh! The worm has turned...Copy !req
471. .. into a fart boy.Copy !req
472. Well, fart boy,
prepare to get slapped.Copy !req
473. FIaming 'eck. What's that?Copy !req
474. Go away!Copy !req
475. Uh! Get off! Uh...Copy !req
476. You... You... You...
You're a freak!Copy !req
477. No!Copy !req
478. No!Copy !req
479. That was the best day of my life,Copy !req
480. .. ever.Copy !req
481. Yes?Copy !req
482. Hello, Mr AIIen.
I just saw AIan going away.Copy !req
483. Is he going to be long?Copy !req
484. Because we need
to do my dream.Copy !req
485. I see. Well, AIan has moved
to pastures new.Copy !req
486. Oh. He left a missive.Copy !req
487. "Patrick, my friend,Copy !req
488. .. regretfully,Copy !req
489. ..my genius is very much
needed elsewhere at present. "Copy !req
490. "Good luck with your dream.
Sincerely, Alan A Allen. "Copy !req
491. Is he going to be long, then?Copy !req
492. Let me make this perfectly clear,
Patrick Smash.Copy !req
493. AIan has gone to another country.
He won't be back.Copy !req
494. Another country?Copy !req
495. I couldn't believe it.Copy !req
496. Alan had gone.Copy !req
497. I was all alone.Copy !req
498. I didn't know what to do.Copy !req
499. It was the worst day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
500. As the situation aboard lcarus
reaches critical,Copy !req
501. ..US Space Control...Copy !req
502. .. has admitted they are unable
to launch a rescue mission.Copy !req
503. General Ed Sheppard
had this to say.Copy !req
504. The prayers of the world...Copy !req
505. .. are going out
to those brave souls...Copy !req
506. .. who are stranded up there...Copy !req
507. .. between heaven and earth.Copy !req
508. The boys and girls
at the Space Centre...Copy !req
509. .. are doing all they can
to launch a rescue mission.Copy !req
510. But I gotta tell ya,Copy !req
511. .. we're plumb out ofideas.Copy !req
512. We're in trouble.Copy !req
513. We need a miracle.Copy !req
514. (TV) Ed Sheppard there, speaking from
lcarus Control earlier today.Copy !req
515. Young man,
I will not take no for an answer.Copy !req
516. I wish to take you on a world tour
with me, Sir John Osgood.Copy !req
517. You'll see things on the way
you've only ever dreamt of,Copy !req
518. .. we'll visit countries...Copy !req
519. Other countries?Copy !req
520. Naturally, yes. Other countries.Copy !req
521. All right.Copy !req
522. You'll hear me sing every night
and you'll... What?Copy !req
523. All right, then.
I'll go to other countries.Copy !req
524. Ah...Copy !req
525. I'll just get my things.Copy !req
526. Right.Copy !req
527. It's quite a day for you, boy.Copy !req
528. So, from out of the blue,
I'd been offered a chance,Copy !req
529. ..a chance to go to other countries.Copy !req
530. lfl went with Sir John,
maybe I could findAlan...Copy !req
531. .. and we could be Patrick andAlan,
the team, again.Copy !req
532. I would take that chance.
I would go with Sir John.Copy !req
533. I would sing with my arse.Copy !req
534. So, night after night,
I did the high bit with my arse.Copy !req
535. And day after day, I searched
the world for my best friend.Copy !req
536. Encore!Copy !req
537. Again, boy. Again.Copy !req
538. But Mr John,Copy !req
539. - ..I'm so hungry.
- Poppycock, boy.Copy !req
540. Must practise!Copy !req
541. If you don't finish,
you won't get any pudding.Copy !req
542. Don't you see, boy?Copy !req
543. We can sing the high note now.Copy !req
544. We're at the top now.Copy !req
545. Staying at the top,
that's the challenge.Copy !req
546. Practice. It's the only way.Copy !req
547. I think I'll slip out for a Iittle
fettucine a Ia flamadora,Copy !req
548. .. with a nice chianti.Copy !req
549. Practice!Copy !req
550. Signor PIaceedo, you must wait.Copy !req
551. Signor Osgood,
he say no visitors!Copy !req
552. No visitors(!) He will see me.Copy !req
553. Ma, I'ho detto che non po entrare,
e prohibito.Copy !req
554. - Sono il direttore di questo albergo.Copy !req
555. O, Santa Madonna, ma che mi volete
farmi uscire tutti pazzi oggi!Copy !req
556. Lo sai che ti dico, ma vafanculo
puro ti, mi fai antipatia, mi fai!Copy !req
557. - A child?Copy !req
558. Here?Copy !req
559. You, boy!Copy !req
560. You know who I am?Copy !req
561. You're the world's number two.Copy !req
562. Never.Copy !req
563. I am PIacido PIaceedo,Copy !req
564. .. the greatest singer in the world!Copy !req
565. So, tell me,Copy !req
566. .. Iittle boy,Copy !req
567. .. what do you do?Copy !req
568. I carry Mr John's bags,
make him drinks and sandwiches...Copy !req
569. .. and I'm searching the world
for my friend AIan...Copy !req
570. ..so we can do my dream.Copy !req
571. Oh, and I sing the high bit
with my arse, Mr Ceedo.Copy !req
572. But that's a secret
between me and Mr John.Copy !req
573. You are singing the high bit...Copy !req
574. .. with your arse?Copy !req
575. Hm.Copy !req
576. It might just work.Copy !req
577. - Fake!Copy !req
578. - He is a fake!Copy !req
579. It's the boy...Copy !req
580. .. who is singing the note...Copy !req
581. .. through his short trousers!Copy !req
582. - No! Madonna!Copy !req
583. It is I and only I,Copy !req
584. .. PIacido P PIaceedo,Copy !req
585. .. who is the number one singer...Copy !req
586. ..in the world!Copy !req
587. And you, sir, are number two!Copy !req
588. Bravissimo! PIaceedo!Copy !req
589. Ah!Copy !req
590. - Read all about it!
- Latest edition!Copy !req
591. Flatulent boy held!Copy !req
592. ll mondo dell'
opera, un crudele assassino...Copy !req
593. Kyo,
sekai namba wan no opera...Copy !req
594. Todo esta revuelto...Copy !req
595. The opera world
was in turmoil today...Copy !req
596. .. when the world's number one
opera star was slain,Copy !req
597. ..in a complex conspiracy...Copy !req
598. .. led by criminal mastermind
Patrick Smash.Copy !req
599. Placido P Placeedo
was killed instantly...Copy !req
600. .. when a spotlight in Rome's
Roma opera house...Copy !req
601. .. fell from the lighting rig,
shaken loose by Patrick Smash.Copy !req
602. Are you a murderer, Patrick?Copy !req
603. I didn't mean to kill Mr Ceedo.Copy !req
604. And I didn't know it was wrong
to sing the high bit with my arse.Copy !req
605. I just want to find
my friendAlan.Copy !req
606. I just want to be Patrick
andAlan, the team, again.Copy !req
607. I want to put my gift
and your genius together,Copy !req
608. ..so we can reach for the stars.Copy !req
609. I miss you, Alan.Copy !req
610. And I'm scared.Copy !req
611. Is that him?Copy !req
612. Yes, that's him.Copy !req
613. That's Patrick.Copy !req
614. Read all about it!Copy !req
615. Latest news!
Fart boy on trial!Copy !req
616. - Six Heralds, please.
- Get your papers 'ere!Copy !req
617. - Echo, please.
- Latest news on fart boy trial!Copy !req
618. World holds its breath
for fart trial!Copy !req
619. Silence in court!Copy !req
620. Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,Copy !req
621. .. PIacido P PIaceedo...Copy !req
622. .. was without doubt the world's
greatest opera singer.Copy !req
623. A charming, talented man,Copy !req
624. .. who, as I shall show
during this trial,Copy !req
625. .. was humiliated
and then cut down...Copy !req
626. ..by this, this...Copy !req
627. .. evil child.Copy !req
628. I feel such a fool.Copy !req
629. I gave him every chance
and he threw it all in my face.Copy !req
630. Then...Copy !req
631. .. he murdered the best friend...Copy !req
632. ..I ever had.Copy !req
633. Everybody at school
was scared of him.Copy !req
634. He attacked me
for no reason with that...Copy !req
635. .. weapon of his.Copy !req
636. - Order! Order!Copy !req
637. I have taught Patrick Smash...Copy !req
638. .. for five years,Copy !req
639. ..at the end of which time,Copy !req
640. ..I Iooked behind his eyes
and I saw...Copy !req
641. .. pure evil.Copy !req
642. You can clearly see...Copy !req
643. .. the deep crack in the metal,Copy !req
644. ..a production flaw.Copy !req
645. The bolt was substandard.
It could've snapped...Copy !req
646. ..at any time.Copy !req
647. Tell me, would you call yourself
an opera Iover, Mr Henderson?Copy !req
648. Well, no.Copy !req
649. - I'm a metallurgist.
- I see.Copy !req
650. Do you listen to opera at all?Copy !req
651. I'm sorry. I don't quite see
the relevance...Copy !req
652. The witness will answer
the question.Copy !req
653. No.Copy !req
654. I... I don't listen to opera.Copy !req
655. Thank you, Mr Henderson.Copy !req
656. - But this is not about...
- That will be all, thank you.Copy !req
657. It's cracked.Copy !req
658. I see.Copy !req
659. And this would be
around the time your best friend,Copy !req
660. .. your only friend,Copy !req
661. .. AIan, disappeared.Copy !req
662. Yes, sir.Copy !req
663. Just as you received a cheque...Copy !req
664. .. for 100 English pounds.Copy !req
665. Yes, sir.Copy !req
666. How...Copy !req
667. .. convenient.Copy !req
668. And so a picture has emerged,Copy !req
669. .. Iadies and gentlemen
of the jury,Copy !req
670. ..a picture of a Ioner,Copy !req
671. ..a strange, haunted child,Copy !req
672. .. who'd harass children younger,
weaker than himself,Copy !req
673. .. who'd bully those
of whom he was jealous.Copy !req
674. A Iiar!Copy !req
675. A cheat. A thief.Copy !req
676. A boy,Copy !req
677. .. guilty of fraud,
grievous bodily harm,Copy !req
678. .. damage to property,Copy !req
679. .. reckless endangerment,Copy !req
680. .. and now,Copy !req
681. .. murder.Copy !req
682. Guilty!Copy !req
683. - Guilty!
- Guilty!Copy !req
684. Guilty!Copy !req
685. That was it. I'd been
at rock bottom before,Copy !req
686. .. but this time
I was even lower.Copy !req
687. Now I'd never get
to do my dream.Copy !req
688. Fart boy walking!Copy !req
689. I would never know
what happened to Alan.Copy !req
690. It was the worst day
of my life,Copy !req
691. .. ever.Copy !req
692. Squad,Copy !req
693. .. get ready.Copy !req
694. Take aim.Copy !req
695. And then it happened.Copy !req
696. Johnson J Johnson.Copy !req
697. United States of America
Special Forces.Copy !req
698. Your British Home Secretary
has authorised the transfer...Copy !req
699. .. of prisoner Patrick Smash...Copy !req
700. .. into the custody of
the United States Government.Copy !req
701. Our sincerest apologies...Copy !req
702. .. for the formalities, Mr Smash.Copy !req
703. We experienced several
administerial delays...Copy !req
704. ..in securing the appropriate papers
from your British Home Office.Copy !req
705. Somebody untie this boy,
goddammit!Copy !req
706. Mr Smash, I would like
to formally request...Copy !req
707. .. that you accompany us to
a place where your unique gifts...Copy !req
708. .. are very much needed
at this present moment in time.Copy !req
709. All right, then!Copy !req
710. Let's move out!Copy !req
711. This way, sir.Copy !req
712. Thank you for your co-operation.Copy !req
713. You have yourselves
a nice day, now.Copy !req
714. Make yourself comfortable,
Mr Smash.Copy !req
715. We have a short drive
ahead of us.Copy !req
716. Is there anything
we can do for you, sir?Copy !req
717. No, thank you, Mr Johnson.Copy !req
718. I don't mean to be any trouble.Copy !req
719. No trouble, Mr Smash.
No trouble at all.Copy !req
720. - Mr Johnson?
- Yes, sir?Copy !req
721. Do you mind if I...Copy !req
722. - You go right ahead, sir.
- Thank you, Mr Johnson.Copy !req
723. Air Force Nine, this is Tower.Copy !req
724. You are clear for takeoff.Copy !req
725. This way, sir.Copy !req
726. Operation Hot Dog, you have
clearance for the Smash kid.Copy !req
727. We've arranged a private room
for your use.Copy !req
728. A change of clothes,
personal hygiene kit...Copy !req
729. .. and some refreshments.Copy !req
730. We've selected
a range of snacks...Copy !req
731. .. that we hope will meet
with your approval.Copy !req
732. Now, with your permission,Copy !req
733. .. there will be a briefing
at 0200 hours,Copy !req
734. .. Greenwich Mean Time.Copy !req
735. I suggest that you rest
up till then, sir.Copy !req
736. All right, then.Copy !req
737. Air Force Nine, this is Tower.Copy !req
738. You are clear runway ten-niner...Copy !req
739. Chuck, take her on a heading
of one-zero-niner.Copy !req
740. - Roger that, sir.
- Let's take her home.Copy !req
741. How is the Iittle fella?Copy !req
742. He's crying.Copy !req
743. A-ha! Come in Mr Smash, sir.Copy !req
744. The briefing team
is waiting for you.Copy !req
745. AIan!Copy !req
746. You left me all alone!Copy !req
747. I thought we'd put my gift
and your genius together...Copy !req
748. .. and do my dream.Copy !req
749. I've been Iooking
for you everywhere.Copy !req
750. Patrick, sit down.
I'll explain everything.Copy !req
751. Now, Patrick, Mr Johnson...Copy !req
752. Alan told me that they'd
found out how clever he was.Copy !req
753. They came to the flight competition
to ask him to help them.Copy !req
754. He was working really hard
to save the spacemen...Copy !req
755. .. on space station lcarus.Copy !req
756. He couldn't tell me
because it was a secret,Copy !req
757. .. but he really wanted to.Copy !req
758. There is a breach in the hull,Copy !req
759. .. where the meteorite shower
hit last week...Copy !req
760. What happened next was destined
to change my life for ever.Copy !req
761. We decided that we should
stage a rescue mission.Copy !req
762. But the sub-engines
on the rescue rocket...Copy !req
763. .. have suffered
a severe malfunction.Copy !req
764. Some of our boys are up there,
Mr Smash.Copy !req
765. And they're dying.Copy !req
766. Patrick, you know
you have two stomachs.Copy !req
767. Yeah.Copy !req
768. Well, the clever people here...Copy !req
769. .. think that you can help
the astronauts.Copy !req
770. Can you help us, slugger?Copy !req
771. Am I going to be a spaceman?Copy !req
772. Yes, Patrick.
You're going to be a spaceman.Copy !req
773. - Yeah?
- Mr Smash is here, General.Copy !req
774. Thank you, Annie.Copy !req
775. Johnson.Copy !req
776. So this is he?Copy !req
777. Thank the sweet Iovin' Jesus
that you're here, son!Copy !req
778. The boys and girls...Copy !req
779. ..at Space Control
have calculatedCopy !req
780. .. that we have
a 24-hour window...Copy !req
781. ..in which to Iaunch
a rescue rocket.Copy !req
782. You're a fruit, son.Copy !req
783. Fruit, sir?Copy !req
784. The good Lord has Iooked down
from on high...Copy !req
785. ..at those astronauts,
and has shed a single tear.Copy !req
786. The single tear
has fallen to the earth...Copy !req
787. .. and nursed a tiny seed.Copy !req
788. The seed became a sprout,
that sprout has borne a bud,Copy !req
789. .. that bud has
brought forth a fruit!Copy !req
790. You're that fruit, son.
Praise God!Copy !req
791. - Now, we have got work to do.
- Come on.Copy !req
792. Flight crew
to Test Bay Four.Copy !req
793. Repeat. Flight crew
to Test Bay Four.Copy !req
794. Mr Smash, it is my duty
to inform you...Copy !req
795. .. that what you are
about to see is classified.Copy !req
796. Category triple A clearance.Copy !req
797. Son, I gotta tell ya,Copy !req
798. .. behind these doors
is the secret...Copy !req
799. .. of the USSC family.Copy !req
800. A family I sincerely hope
that you will soon join.Copy !req
801. - AIan.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
802. This is your show.Copy !req
803. - You take it from here.Copy !req
804. Scanning. Scanning.Copy !req
805. Agent Johnson J Johnson.
You are clear to enter.Copy !req
806. Control room crew,
prepare for guidance verification.Copy !req
807. Come on, Patrick.Copy !req
808. Let me introduce you
to my team.Copy !req
809. The best of the best.Copy !req
810. Hello, everybody.Copy !req
811. Patrick, the guys.Copy !req
812. Welcome aboard, Patrick!Copy !req
813. This is a proud moment
for us all.Copy !req
814. Patrick, this is Jose.Copy !req
815. Everything OK, Jose?Copy !req
816. I'm sorry, Patrick, but
I'm trying to explain something...Copy !req
817. ..to those idiots
in Launch Control.Copy !req
818. They screwed up the inertial
platform failure procedure...Copy !req
819. .. and they have misinterpreted
the Iaunch telemetry.Copy !req
820. They're driving me crazy!Copy !req
821. Calm down, Jose.
We'll sort it out.Copy !req
822. Why don't we ask
the grown-ups to help?Copy !req
823. - Don't you see, Patrick?Copy !req
824. There are no grown-ups
in research and planning.Copy !req
825. We make the decisions here.Copy !req
826. The grown-ups of the USSC
are on a constant search...Copy !req
827. .. throughout the world
to seek out children with gifts.Copy !req
828. That's why they came
and found me.Copy !req
829. And that's why
they found you, too.Copy !req
830. - But all I can do is fart.
- Exactly, Patrick. Exactly.Copy !req
831. Mm-hm.Copy !req
832. This is the design of the
revolutionary new jet engine,Copy !req
833. .. the prototype for which...Copy !req
834. .. was built into the rescue rocket.Copy !req
835. But the engine coupling...Copy !req
836. .. was fused
with the booster housing!Copy !req
837. That is
my father's department.Copy !req
838. And this is a computer model
of your stomachs.Copy !req
839. You see, you have that
revolutionary new engine...Copy !req
840. .. there in your shorts, Patrick!Copy !req
841. Jose worked
on the module coupling.Copy !req
842. Yes. You will sit in this harness,
above the boosters.Copy !req
843. We call it the Thermo Diaper.Copy !req
844. Thunderpants III.Copy !req
845. I have harnessed
the full potential...Copy !req
846. .. of your flatulence...Copy !req
847. .. and enhanced it exponentially.Copy !req
848. You're going to Iaunch
the rescue rocket.Copy !req
849. You're going to Iaunch
Thunderpants III!Copy !req
850. So that was it.Copy !req
851. I was going to launch
that rocket.Copy !req
852. I was going to save
the astronauts.Copy !req
853. I was going to be
a spaceman.Copy !req
854. My dream had come true.Copy !req
855. It was the best day
of my life, ever.Copy !req
856. I...Copy !req
857. That boy in there
has no stamina, no dexterity,Copy !req
858. ..no strength and no experience.Copy !req
859. He's failed all the mental and
physical tests in our Iexicon.Copy !req
860. How are we gonna make
this thing work, Ed?Copy !req
861. That child is a tool, Johnson.Copy !req
862. A tool, sir?Copy !req
863. A fragile tool which the good Lord
has chosen to deliver to us.Copy !req
864. It's up to us to use it wisely...Copy !req
865. .. and use it well.Copy !req
866. That boy in there...Copy !req
867. .. has got the hopes and the fears
of the American people...Copy !req
868. ..in his goddamn shorts.Copy !req
869. Amen, Ed.Copy !req
870. Amen.Copy !req
871. It's showtime, boys.
Show me what you got.Copy !req
872. Please stand by
for primary ignition test.Copy !req
873. Patrick, give it a quick burn.
Check out the hardware.Copy !req
874. Roger.Copy !req
875. Wilco, AIan.Copy !req
876. - Wow.
- Holy Mary, mother of God!Copy !req
877. - Hot dog!
- Some power you got down there!Copy !req
878. Launch in T minus 30 minutes.Copy !req
879. Flight crew to Gantry Five.Copy !req
880. Son, may I shake your hand?Copy !req
881. You've eaten...Copy !req
882. .. every Ieaf vegetable
and every bean product...Copy !req
883. .. within a ten-mile radius
of this place.Copy !req
884. You've done a 12-year training
course in two and a half hours.Copy !req
885. And you possess the most
powerful tooter I ever saw!Copy !req
886. Whoa!Copy !req
887. You got a heart of gold, son,Copy !req
888. ..you've got
the constitution of an ox.Copy !req
889. And you've got pants of thunder.Copy !req
890. Godspeed, Patrick Smash.Copy !req
891. Thank you, Mr Ed.Copy !req
892. Knock 'em dead, skipper.Copy !req
893. Thank you, Mr Johnson.Copy !req
894. What am I, Patrick?Copy !req
895. You're the cleverest one of all.Copy !req
896. And I'm proud. Good Iuck!Copy !req
897. (TV) As the rescue rocket
points to the skies,Copy !req
898. .. the world can only wait
and hope...Copy !req
899. .. and pray that they've found
a way to lift that craft,Copy !req
900. .. those tons ofequipment,
that metal, plastic...Copy !req
901. Hold on.Copy !req
902. Hold on. They...Copy !req
903. There is movement there.Copy !req
904. There is definitely
something going on...Copy !req
905. .. near the command centre.Copy !req
906. Uh, it seems...Copy !req
907. - That's Patrick again, look!
- Patrick! Look!Copy !req
908. ..a very small man is...Copy !req
909. It's... It's a boy!Copy !req
910. A... A boy astronaut...Copy !req
911. .. ofmaybe nine or ten.Copy !req
912. A buggy is making its way
across the tarmac.Copy !req
913. But now,Copy !req
914. ..now we can see
a group approaching,Copy !req
915. .. walking towards the boy.Copy !req
916. One of the men is, um,Copy !req
917. .. um, is,
shaking the boy's hand.Copy !req
918. The eyes of the world are on you,
Patrick Smash.Copy !req
919. We all admire you.Copy !req
920. God bless you
and God bless America.Copy !req
921. Thank you, Mr President.Copy !req
922. Good Iuck, son.Copy !req
923. The boy's a miracle.Copy !req
924. Gentlemen,
what have you got?Copy !req
925. EIectrical systems
are go, sir!Copy !req
926. Life-support system
on line, sir.Copy !req
927. Ignition systems
on line, sir.Copy !req
928. Methane filters engaged.Copy !req
929. Cooling systems
are green for go, sir.Copy !req
930. Sulphur boosters
are on line, sir.Copy !req
931. Expansion chambers
are primed for influx.Copy !req
932. There you go, sir.Copy !req
933. Flight pressurisation
is under way.Copy !req
934. We have a green light...Copy !req
935. ..as the main engines, uh,
as we prepare for ignition.Copy !req
936. Sir, I was running through
the Iaunch sequence again...Copy !req
937. .. and I've, uh,
I've come across a problem.Copy !req
938. It seems that 20 seconds
into the Iaunch,Copy !req
939. ..it's possible we might lose
communication with the rocket,Copy !req
940. .. followed by a shutdown
of life-support systems...Copy !req
941. Cut to the chase, Foster.
We're runnin' on fumes.Copy !req
942. Sorry, sir.Copy !req
943. A chain reaction.Copy !req
944. An explosion, sir.
Total destruction of the rocket.Copy !req
945. Goddamn! What's the chances
of this happening?Copy !req
946. Uh,Copy !req
947. ..79%.Copy !req
948. Sweet Jesus.Copy !req
949. That gives us 21%
to play with.Copy !req
950. AIan!Copy !req
951. A word in your ear,
son, please.Copy !req
952. We've got a problem here,
um,Copy !req
953. Final checks concluded.
Stand by for launch.Copy !req
954. Patrick,
we have a problem.Copy !req
955. Hello, AIan. What's wrong?Copy !req
956. There is a chance, Patrick,
a big chance,Copy !req
957. .. that Thunderpants III will...Copy !req
958. .. will blow up
shortly after Iiftoff.Copy !req
959. General Sheppard says
that the decision is yours...Copy !req
960. .. and...
and if you choose to stay,Copy !req
961. ..you're still a goddamn hero.Copy !req
962. Alan,Copy !req
963. .. can I say something
to everybody?Copy !req
964. Go ahead, Patrick.Copy !req
965. Hello, everyone.Copy !req
966. My name is Smash,
Patrick Smash.Copy !req
967. And this is my dream.Copy !req
968. I'm going to try my best
to be a good spaceman.Copy !req
969. I've never had the whole world
rely on me before.Copy !req
970. I mean, I do try
to do my best at home,Copy !req
971. .. but I wasn't what
my mum expected me to be.Copy !req
972. I did try to do my best
at school too,Copy !req
973. .. but I upset
some of the other kids.Copy !req
974. And I was a disappointment
to the teachers.Copy !req
975. One time, I thought I'd found
someone who would help me.Copy !req
976. We went round the world
together. We sang together.Copy !req
977. But everything
kept going wrong.Copy !req
978. But then my friendAlan came
and showed me...Copy !req
979. .. that what the spacemen
need now is a friend.Copy !req
980. I'm going to try
and be that friend.Copy !req
981. We are Patrick andAlan,
the team.Copy !req
982. And with my gift, your genius
and our friendship,Copy !req
983. .. we can never go wrong!Copy !req
984. AndAlan,Copy !req
985. .. thanks for remembering
the sprouts this time.Copy !req
986. Who gave you Iadies
permission to blubber?Copy !req
987. - Uh...
- Patrick Smash,Copy !req
988. .. we salute you.Copy !req
989. (all) Yes, sir.Copy !req
990. Let's blow ass!Copy !req
991. OK, Patrick.Copy !req
992. We're ready for you, buddy.Copy !req
993. Guidance systems are on line.Copy !req
994. Engage primary ignition system.Copy !req
995. We're lookin' good.Copy !req
996. T minus ten,Copy !req
997. .. nine,Copy !req
998. .. eight, seven,Copy !req
999. .. six,Copy !req
1000. .. five,Copy !req
1001. .. four, three, two,Copy !req
1002. ..one,Copy !req
1003. Patrick...Copy !req
1004. Yes, Alan?Copy !req
1005. You've got to let one go now.Copy !req
1006. All right, then.Copy !req
1007. Gas transfer successful.Copy !req
1008. Ladies and gentlemen,
we have Iiftoff!Copy !req
1009. - Congratulations, son.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1010. Good work, Johnson.Copy !req
1011. What's going on,
Mr Johnson?Copy !req
1012. Um, we appear to have...Copy !req
1013. .. lost communication
with the rocket...Copy !req
1014. .. and life-support systems are...Copy !req
1015. Please, come on.Copy !req
1016. That's the Bart Seven.Copy !req
1017. He's OK?Copy !req
1018. He's OK. He... He's OK!Copy !req
1019. He's alive!Copy !req
1020. And that's my story.Copy !req
1021. I'm just a nobody, really.Copy !req
1022. I've always been a nobody.Copy !req
1023. I'm not that clever.
I'm not that brave.Copy !req
1024. But I did one thing right.Copy !req
1025. I found out what it was...Copy !req
1026. .. that made me who I am,Copy !req
1027. .. that made me... me.Copy !req
1028. And that's my message to you.Copy !req
1029. You may think
you have problems now,Copy !req
1030. .. but are they really problems?Copy !req
1031. Take them, look at them,Copy !req
1032. .. use them.Copy !req
1033. Use them wisely
and use them well.Copy !req
1034. And maybe,Copy !req
1035. .. just maybe,Copy !req
1036. ..one day,Copy !req
1037. .. your dream will come true.Copy !req
1038. (TV) Today, the world breathed
a sigh ofrelief...Copy !req
1039. ..as the astronauts splashed down
in the Pacific Ocean.Copy !req
1040. SS Neptune was on hand
to pluck them out of the water.Copy !req
1041. The astronauts spent
26 harrowing days in space,Copy !req
1042. ..as hopes for their rescue
slowly faded.Copy !req
1043. The day was saved
by an unlikely hero,Copy !req
1044. .. Patrick Smash.Copy !req
1045. General Ed Sheppard
had this to say.Copy !req
1046. Praise God!
This is our finest hour.Copy !req
1047. Thank you, Alan.
Thank you, Patrick.Copy !req
1048. Thank you, Thunderpants!Copy !req
1049. (TV) New Yorkers turned up
in their thousands today,Copy !req
1050. .. for that most traditional
ofAmerican celebrations.Copy !req
1051. A ticker-tape parade
through Manhattan,Copy !req
1052. ..in honour of the biggest hero
of them all...Copy !req
1053. .. Patrick Smash!Copy !req
1054. Mr Smash said...Copy !req
1055. "It was the best day of my life,Copy !req
1056. .. ever. "Copy !req
1057. He was a breath of fresh air
to this school.Copy !req
1058. Patso Smash?
He taught me to respect others.Copy !req
1059. And to love myself.Copy !req
1060. We did it, Patrick.Copy !req
1061. We really did it,
didn't we?Copy !req
1062. I don't see
what all the fuss is about.Copy !req
1063. All he did was fart.Copy !req
1064. Uh, a teacher?Copy !req
1065. Yes, um...Copy !req
1066. I prefer to think of him as...Copy !req
1067. .. the son I never had.Copy !req
1068. Here's some more books, Father.Copy !req
1069. What A Note, my new book.Copy !req
1070. I'm signing copies here
in this bookshop.Copy !req
1071. A really talented
young man,Copy !req
1072. .. whose gift we recognised
early on.Copy !req
1073. We love you,
Patrick Smash! Hooray!Copy !req
1074. He always spoilt everything
and he ends up a hero.Copy !req
1075. Well, big deal!Copy !req
1076. I hated him then
and I hate him now.Copy !req
1077. That enough?Copy !req
1078. All right. That's enough.Copy !req
1079. Stop it!Copy !req