1. One for each other and all for oneCopy !req
2. The three brave amigos are weCopy !req
3. Brother to brother and everyoneCopy !req
4. A brave amigoCopy !req
5. Wherever they need us,
our destinies lead usCopy !req
6. Amigos, we're always togetherCopy !req
7. Wherever we go,
we're three brave amigosCopy !req
8. And will be amigos foreverCopy !req
9. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
10. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
11. We are the Three...Copy !req
12. A...Copy !req
13. migos!Copy !req
14. And amigos forever we'll beCopy !req
15. Rodrigo.Copy !req
16. Rodrigo, we will find
the men we need in there.Copy !req
17. Senores, we are from
the village of Santa Poco.Copy !req
18. We have come here
for your help.Copy !req
19. A very great injustice
is being done.Copy !req
20. A man named El Guapo
is threatening our very lives.Copy !req
21. We are looking for men who are brave enough
to stand up to this tyrant.Copy !req
22. Senorita!Copy !req
23. Perhaps I can be
of assistance.Copy !req
24. I'll help you.Copy !req
25. But first you're gonna help me,
darling.Copy !req
26. No!Copy !req
27. - Leave him alone! Rodrigo!
- Get out of here!Copy !req
28. Come!Copy !req
29. They are no better than El Guapo.
They will not help us.Copy !req
30. - No one will help us!
- Rodrigo, you must have faith!Copy !req
31. The Holy Mother will help us!Copy !req
32. With three men such as these,
El Guapo would not dare to enter our village.Copy !req
33. Goldsmith Pictures,
Hollywood, California.Copy !req
34. The Three Amigos, Goldsmith Pictures,
Hollywood, California.Copy !req
35. Ami...Copy !req
36. gos.Copy !req
37. We have seen your deeds
and think you are very great.Copy !req
38. We can pay you
100,000 pesos.Copy !req
39. 100,000 pesos?Copy !req
40. We do not have 100,000 pesos.Copy !req
41. Don't worry, Rodrigo,
they will refuse it.Copy !req
42. But it would be an insult
not to offer it to them.Copy !req
43. 100,000...Copy !req
44. pesos.Copy !req
45. 100.000 pesos
if you come to Santa Poco...Copy !req
46. and put on a show of your strength
and stop the... the horrible...Copy !req
47. - ... evil, murdering...
- ... villainous monster, El Guapo.Copy !req
48. So that once again we
can be a peaceful village.Copy !req
49. 23 pesos.Copy !req
50. We only have 10.Copy !req
51. Okay.
I give you the 10-pesos version.Copy !req
52. "You are great."Copy !req
53. "100,000 pesos...Copy !req
54. if you come to Santa Poco...
put on show.Copy !req
55. Stop the...Copy !req
56. I'll put "infamous El Guapo.”Copy !req
57. - Infamous?
- Yes.Copy !req
58. It means "murderous, evil"...
all like you said.Copy !req
59. - And it will save you money.
- Thank you.Copy !req
60. We've got to get back
to basics.Copy !req
61. "Shooting for Love".
"Wanderers of the West".Copy !req
62. "The Ride of the Three Amigos".Copy !req
63. All the great Amigo pictures
had one thing in common:Copy !req
64. Three wealthy Spanish landowners
who fight for the rights of peasants.Copy !req
65. Now, that's something everyone likes.
It's a people idea.Copy !req
66. It's a story a nation
can sink its teeth into.Copy !req
67. But then came
"Those Darn Amigos".Copy !req
68. A box office failure.
Nobody went to see it...Copy !req
69. because nobody cares
about three wealthy Spanish landowners...Copy !req
70. on a weekend in Manhattan.Copy !req
71. We strayed from the formula,
and we paid the price.Copy !req
72. I thought
we were quite good in it.Copy !req
73. Good? We were great!Copy !req
74. Why don't you tell the boys
about the Cochise picture, Morty?Copy !req
75. Sandy and Irving
are working on it right now.Copy !req
76. You meet Cochise.
At first, you think he's a terrible guy.Copy !req
77. You fight.
Then, you get to know him...Copy !req
78. you come to respect each other,
and at the end of the picture, you're friends!Copy !req
79. We send you boys to Baja
and we shoot the picture in eight days.Copy !req
80. What do you think?Copy !req
81. That'll be the day.Copy !req
82. - What did he say?
- He said, "That'll be the day," Mr. Flugleman.Copy !req
83. What?Copy !req
84. I don't think you understand
who you're talking to here.Copy !req
85. We have a few items
we want to straighten out first...Copy !req
86. Or you might be looking
at three actorsCopy !req
87. who really don't feel like
making a Geronimo picture.Copy !req
88. - What the hell are you talking about?
- Lucky, I think maybe we should...Copy !req
89. What we're talking about is money,
real money. Amigo money.Copy !req
90. No dough, no show.Copy !req
91. Boys! Boys...Copy !req
92. Let me just say one thing:Copy !req
93. It'll be a cold day in hell...Copy !req
94. when Harry Flugleman
lets an actor tell him what to do!Copy !req
95. Do you know
what the word "nada" means?Copy !req
96. In all those Mexican movies you made,
did you ever hear that word?Copy !req
97. - Isn't that a light chicken gravy that you...
- It means "nothing"!Copy !req
98. "Zero, zip"! It's what you're gonna have
when I'm through with you!Copy !req
99. You hit Harry Flugleman
on a bad day!Copy !req
100. I'd like to continue to work for free,
Mr. Flugleman.Copy !req
101. Are you living
in the studio mansion?Copy !req
102. - Yeah...
- Not anymore, you're not. Sam!Copy !req
103. - The Amigos are out of the mansion.
- Where did you get those clothes?Copy !req
104. From a movie?Copy !req
105. Yeah, the studio gave them to us.
"Those Darn Amigos".Copy !req
106. Well, we're taking them back.
Sam!Copy !req
107. Get wardrobe over here right away.
Take the Amigos' clothes.Copy !req
108. Wait a minute!
You can't take our clothes.Copy !req
109. You gave us these clothes.
They were presents!Copy !req
110. Come on, wait a minute!
Lucky!Copy !req
111. Wait a second!
I think you misread who you're talking to here.Copy !req
112. Misread?Copy !req
113. I want these schmucks
off of my lot.Copy !req
114. Your asses
have just been streamlined!Copy !req
115. The Three Amigos are history!Copy !req
116. Okay! Okay!Copy !req
117. Okay!Copy !req
118. And Mr. Flugleman says
you're not to come back on this lot ever!Copy !req
119. Look, boys, I know show business.
Something always turns up.Copy !req
120. Telegram for the Three Amigos.Copy !req
121. "Three Amigos, Hollywood, California.
You are very great."Copy !req
122. "100,000 pesos
to come to Santa Poco...Copy !req
123. put on show.
Stop.Copy !req
124. The infamous El Guapo."Copy !req
125. What does that mean?
"In-famous"?Copy !req
126. Dusty...Copy !req
127. in-famous is when
you're more than famous.Copy !req
128. This man El Guapo is not just famous,
he's in-famous.Copy !req
129. 100,000 pesos to do a personal appearance
with this guy El Guapo...Copy !req
130. who is probably the biggest actor
to ever come out of Mexico!Copy !req
131. Wow! The in-famous?Copy !req
132. In-famous?Copy !req
133. Wouldn't it be easier if we went to Flugleman
and asked him for our Amigo costumes?Copy !req
134. No, Flugleman hates us right now.
He's never gonna give us our costumes.Copy !req
135. Lucky's right.
This is the only way.Copy !req
136. Hey! You two!Copy !req
137. You! You! Two! Look here!Copy !req
138. Hey, you, look! Up here!Copy !req
139. Look up here, look up here,
look up here!Copy !req
140. Hey, you, look! Up here!Copy !req
141. Up here! Up here!Copy !req
142. Hey, you guys!Copy !req
143. This way!Copy !req
144. Turn on the lights.Copy !req
145. Hey, what's going on up there?Copy !req
146. Let's go, Amigos.Copy !req
147. I'm looking for a man
by the name of El Guapo.Copy !req
148. Do you know this man?Copy !req
149. - Perhaps, senor.
- Hey!Copy !req
150. Where'd you get
that pretty little gun?Copy !req
151. El Guapo will be interest to see me.
I have something he wants.Copy !req
152. Hey, I'm talking to you!Copy !req
153. Where'd you get
that pretty little gun?Copy !req
154. I'm meeting
some friends of mine here.Copy !req
155. When they get here,
tell them to wait.Copy !req
156. - How will I know them?
- You will know them.Copy !req
157. You will most certainly
know them.Copy !req
158. Hey.Copy !req
159. Why don't you come over here
and sit on my lap?Copy !req
160. I wanna show you
something, honey.Copy !req
161. Anyone else with a comment?Copy !req
162. Some friends of mine
will be coming here.Copy !req
163. I hope you will show them more courtesy
than you have shown me.Copy !req
164. They aren't as kindhearted
as I am.Copy !req
165. Looks like somebody's been down here
with the ugly stick.Copy !req
166. Let's go.Copy !req
167. Uh, excuse us.Copy !req
168. We're not Mexicans.
We're from out of town.Copy !req
169. We were wondering if you could tell us
where the best hotel in town is.Copy !req
170. - There's no hotel in this town.
- Great. No hotel.Copy !req
171. I could kill somebody!Copy !req
172. Excuse me. You are the...?Copy !req
173. Yes, we are.Copy !req
174. - We have heard of you.
- No kidding.Copy !req
175. I have a message for you.Copy !req
176. The German says to wait here.Copy !req
177. Mmm, yeah.Copy !req
178. Well, so long as we've got some time to Kkill,
I think I'll have a beer.Copy !req
179. We don't have no beer,
just tequila.Copy !req
180. - What's tequila?
- It's like beer.Copy !req
181. - Is it fattening?
- Fattening?Copy !req
182. Forget it. If it's like beer, we'll have some.
Three tequilas!Copy !req
183. Sure. Sure, amigos.Copy !req
184. Enjoy yourselves.Copy !req
185. But try not to get into
too much troubles, okay?Copy !req
186. Thank you.Copy !req
187. - It's an odd taste, isn't it?
- It's probably watered down.Copy !req
188. There's something about this place.
Everybody seems so grim.Copy !req
189. Well, they're just intimidated.
They've only seen us on the big screen.Copy !req
190. Hey, we're just folks like you.
Just relax.Copy !req
191. Dusty, go on over to that piano.Copy !req
192. - Oh, no. I haven't played in so long.
- Come on!Copy !req
193. I couldn't, really.Copy !req
194. - Been a long time.
- All right, we'll do a little number for you.Copy !req
195. But remember, we're a bit rusty,
so bear with us.Copy !req
196. - Just like the old days.
- All right!Copy !req
197. Maestro?Copy !req
198. Everybody!Copy !req
199. Hey, great!Copy !req
200. - What did I tell you?
- Yeah, they loved us.Copy !req
201. - What is that?
- It's a plane.Copy !req
202. Not just any plane.
It's a Tubman 601.Copy !req
203. I flew one in
"Little Neddy Goes to War".Copy !req
204. - What's it doing here?
- I think it's a mail plane.Copy !req
205. - How can you tell?
- Well, didn't you notice its little balls?Copy !req
206. The little balls hanging down.Copy !req
207. The little... The balls.Copy !req
208. The mail plane.
It's a "male" plane.Copy !req
209. And the balls...!Copy !req
210. That's... That's...Copy !req
211. Let's go find out
where we're supposed to be.Copy !req
212. Okay.Copy !req
213. Hey!
Look at the little sissies!Copy !req
214. This town
is getting too rough for me.Copy !req
215. Carmen, the Three Amigos!
I saw them coming out of the cantina.Copy !req
216. - You are the Three Amigos?
- Yes, we are.Copy !req
217. Told you
we were big down here.Copy !req
218. Come.
We will take you to Santa Poco.Copy !req
219. - Oh, great!
- Fine.Copy !req
220. This is our village.Copy !req
221. Isn't that the Three Amigos?Copy !req
222. Do you think they can protect us
from El Guapo?Copy !req
223. - Welcome to Santa Poco.
- Here you go.Copy !req
224. Dusty Bottoms.Copy !req
225. Can I have your watch
when you are dead?Copy !req
226. What did he say?Copy !req
227. That's good. Very good.Copy !req
228. We are honored
to have you in our home.Copy !req
229. Do you have anything
besides Mexican food?Copy !req
230. Lucky, how's this show
supposed to work anyway?Copy !req
231. Well, I talked to Rodrigo tonight.
He's the kid.Copy !req
232. He was kind of hazy
on the details.Copy !req
233. But as far as I can figure,
El Guapo's coming in a day or two.Copy !req
234. He rides in,
acts like he owns the place.Copy !req
235. We come out, put on a big show,
and pretend like we run him off.Copy !req
236. It's pretty much what we did in
"Shooting for Love".Copy !req
237. Hey, Lucky. What are you gonna do
with your share of the money?Copy !req
238. A car.Copy !req
239. A big, shiny, silver car.Copy !req
240. I'll drive all over Hollywood,
show Flugleman a thing or two.Copy !req
241. What about you?Copy !req
242. New York. Maybe Paris.Copy !req
243. A lot of champagne.Copy !req
244. Parties.Copy !req
245. - Be a big shot for a while.
- Yeah...Copy !req
246. How about you, Ned?Copy !req
247. I'm gonna start a foundation
to help homeless children.Copy !req
248. That occurred to me to do that
at one point, too.Copy !req
249. I meant that I would do that first,
and then I would get a big, shiny car.Copy !req
250. Or after I come back...Copy !req
251. Hey, let's go
get some more tequila.Copy !req
252. El Guapo,
he said to wait here.Copy !req
253. By the time he's here,
we'll be back.Copy !req
254. Let's go to Santa Poco.
They'll be glad to see us!Copy !req
255. Which one do you like best,
Carmen?Copy !req
256. I like the one
who's not so smart.Copy !req
257. Which one is that?Copy !req
258. Sooner than expected.
I must warn the Three Amigos.Copy !req
259. They are coming!
They are coming!Copy !req
260. - Who?
- El Guapo and his men.Copy !req
261. Already?Copy !req
262. Well, we'll start
to get ready then.Copy !req
263. They want us
to do the show now.Copy !req
264. - Great! I thought we were going to rehearse.
- Obviously not.Copy !req
265. So what? They've probably done it a
million times, and we know what we're doing.Copy !req
266. Looks like there's about
three of them.Copy !req
267. Perfect.
Rodrigo said there'd be 50, now there's three.Copy !req
268. - They better not try to cut our money.
- Where's our tequila? We're waiting!Copy !req
269. Say, those guys
look pretty good.Copy !req
270. Are you kidding?
They're doing every cliché in the book.Copy !req
271. We'll give them about 30 more seconds.
I hope those horses they got for us are okay.Copy !req
272. If I have to come into that cantina,
somebody's gonna die!Copy !req
273. Okay, Amigos, this is it.
Ned, big smile.Copy !req
274. - Dusty, just relax and have fun with it.
- I'm just gonna have fun with it.Copy !req
275. - I'm Lucky Day.
- I'm Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
276. I'm Dusty Bottoms,
and together we're...Copy !req
277. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
278. Let's go!Copy !req
279. Well, you slime-eating dogs!
You scum-sucking pigs!Copy !req
280. You sons
of a motherless goat!Copy !req
281. "Son of a motherless goat"?
And who are you?Copy !req
282. Wherever there is injustice,
you will find us.Copy !req
283. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
284. - Line.
- Wherever liberty is threatened, you will...Copy !req
285. Wherever liberty is threatened,
you will find...Copy !req
286. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
287. - Who are these monkeys?
- I don't know!Copy !req
288. Should we kill them?Copy !req
289. No, let's go tell El Guapo
what we've seen here.Copy !req
290. And stay out!Copy !req
291. - Nice show.
- Not bad for a matinee.Copy !req
292. - Damn it, I forgot a line though.
- They'll never pick it up. They'll never notice it.Copy !req
293. They're really starved
for entertainment around here.Copy !req
294. I'm telling you,
I've been in this situation before.Copy !req
295. Ask for the money now,
while they're excited.Copy !req
296. You were magnificent!Copy !req
297. We were okay.Copy !req
298. - Then what happened?
- Then, they got on their horses.Copy !req
299. They rode all over the town,
shooting their pistols up in the air.Copy !req
300. And they called us scum-sucking pigs!
Us!Copy !req
301. What should we do, El Guapo?Copy !req
302. Tomorrow,
I will take 50 men with me...Copy !req
303. find these three gringos,
open their stomachs...Copy !req
304. grab their intestines,
and squeeze the shit out of them!Copy !req
305. Perfect!Copy !req
306. Do you have a girlfriend
back home, Dusty?Copy !req
307. No.Copy !req
308. We never really had time
for that sort of thing, being so busy.Copy !req
309. Have you ever kissed a girl?Copy !req
310. Oh, yeah. Sure, lots of times.Copy !req
311. Would you like to kiss me?Copy !req
312. Yeah.Copy !req
313. Well?Copy !req
314. What, now? Here?Copy !req
315. We could take a walk,
and you could kiss me on the veranda.Copy !req
316. Lips would be fine.Copy !req
317. One time Dorothy Gish
was visiting me on the set...Copy !req
318. of "Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun"...Copy !req
319. and she came up to me...Copy !req
320. and she looked me in the face —
and I had never met her...Copy !req
321. I'd just known her from the films.
You know, Dorothy Gish...Copy !req
322. Lillian's sister...Copy !req
323. And she looked me in the eyes,
and she said:Copy !req
324. "Young man, you have got it."Copy !req
325. And...Copy !req
326. Dorothy Gish!
It's a true story.Copy !req
327. Next time we come here,
I'm gonna ask for a different room.Copy !req
328. Amigos, El Guapo himself is here,
with all his men, just outside the village.Copy !req
329. I have your horses waiting.
You must ride against them now.Copy !req
330. What is she talking about?Copy !req
331. I don't know.Copy !req
332. Looks like we got
another show to do.Copy !req
333. - Great. Yeah.
- Let's get it over with.Copy !req
334. Let's go!Copy !req
335. They are so brave.Copy !req
336. It's a pleasure working with you.Copy !req
337. Well, you dirt-eating
piece of slime!Copy !req
338. You scum-sucking pig!Copy !req
339. You son of a motherless goat!Copy !req
340. - Who are you?
- Wherever there is injustice...Copy !req
341. you will find us.Copy !req
342. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
343. - Tell us we will die like dogs.
- What?Copy !req
344. Tell us
we will die like dogs.Copy !req
345. - You will die like dogs.
- No, we will not die like dogs!Copy !req
346. We will fight like lions.
Because we are...Copy !req
347. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
348. Ride, caballeros!Copy !req
349. Ride, Amigos!Copy !req
350. I like these guys.Copy !req
351. They are funny guys!Copy !req
352. Just kill one of them.Copy !req
353. Hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
354. Lucky, jeez, are you all right?Copy !req
355. - What happened?
- I don't know.Copy !req
356. - Here.
- Jeez...Copy !req
357. Jeez...Copy !req
358. What? What?Copy !req
359. Wait a second.Copy !req
360. Let me see that.Copy !req
361. Come on, come on.Copy !req
362. Oh, great! Real bullets!Copy !req
363. I'll keep this.Copy !req
364. You're in a lot of trouble,
mister!Copy !req
365. Excuse me.Copy !req
366. It's real.Copy !req
367. What?Copy !req
368. Uh, this is real.Copy !req
369. - You mean...?
- Yes.Copy !req
370. They're going to kill us.Copy !req
371. What am I doing in Mexico?Copy !req
372. - I've been shot already.
- I know.Copy !req
373. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
374. We're not gonna get paid,
that's for sure.Copy !req
375. Let me talk to them,
man to man.Copy !req
376. Yes.Copy !req
377. Mr. Guapo...Copy !req
378. I'd just like to say,
on behalf of the Three Amigos...Copy !req
379. we're very, very sorry...Copy !req
380. and we'd like
to go home now.Copy !req
381. You see, sir...Copy !req
382. we're not gunfighters.Copy !req
383. We're movie stars.Copy !req
384. - Movie stars?
- Yeah, actors, uh, entertainers.Copy !req
385. - You know, we sing and dance.
- Yeah, you know...Copy !req
386. Don't you want
to die like dogs?Copy !req
387. Well, if there's any way
of avoiding that part of it...Copy !req
388. El Guapo only kills men.Copy !req
389. He does not kill crying women.Copy !req
390. So go...Copy !req
391. you big movie stars.Copy !req
392. - Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
393. Faster!Copy !req
394. People of Santa Poco...Copy !req
395. you were very foolish
to bring men to try to stop El Guapo.Copy !req
396. You have hurt me.Copy !req
397. You see, Jefe?Copy !req
398. A rose can bloom in the desert.Copy !req
399. Jefe!Copy !req
400. Santa Poco is no longer
under my protection!Copy !req
401. The town is yours, muchachos!Copy !req
402. El Guapo!Copy !req
403. Afternoon.Copy !req
404. - We'll just get our things and go.
- There is nothing of yours here.Copy !req
405. El Guapo has taken everything.Copy !req
406. Sorry.Copy !req
407. Did you see a pair of cuff links?Copy !req
408. - They were mother-of-pearl...
- Dusty...Copy !req
409. - Where's Carmen?
- El Guapo has taken her, too.Copy !req
410. - Let's go back to Hollywood.
- The sooner, the better.Copy !req
411. - It's too hot down here.
- Bad for my hay fever.Copy !req
412. - We don't belong down here anyway.
- Where's Ned?Copy !req
413. - Ned, what are you doing?
- What do we have to go back to?Copy !req
414. We've no jobs. No money.Copy !req
415. No place to live.Copy !req
416. No friends.Copy !req
417. No women.Copy !req
418. - No self-respect.
- Oh, hold on. Wait.Copy !req
419. Ned, we could get killed.Copy !req
420. Back there, the Three Amigos
are already dead.Copy !req
421. Here we could be
the Three Amigos for real.Copy !req
422. I'm drawing a line.Copy !req
423. Men or mice? What'll it be?Copy !req
424. Let's ride!Copy !req
425. - Great job catching the food, Ned.
- Oh, thanks, Lucky.Copy !req
426. How do you like your bat,
Dusty?Copy !req
427. - Medium rare.
- This should do it.Copy !req
428. Thanks.Copy !req
429. How far do you think we rode
before we had to go back and get directions?Copy !req
430. Just three or four miles.Copy !req
431. - Ned, read those instructions again.
- All righty.Copy !req
432. All right...Copy !req
433. We go east...Copy !req
434. through the desert
until we come to the singing bush.Copy !req
435. The singing bush?Copy !req
436. When we find the singing bush,
we say the magic chant...Copy !req
437. each fire one shot in the air, and that
will summon the invisible swordsman...Copy !req
438. and he will then show us the way
to El Guapo's.Copy !req
439. - Want your wings?
- No, I'm fine.Copy !req
440. - Here you go.
- Oh, great. Thanks.Copy !req
441. Good night.Copy !req
442. Look at the little fella.
He's tuckered out already.Copy !req
443. - What was that?
- It's just a coyote.Copy !req
444. - I've never slept outside before.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.Copy !req
445. Dusty...Copy !req
446. Night, Lucky.Copy !req
447. - Night, Dusty.
- Good night, Ned.Copy !req
448. Good night, Ned.Copy !req
449. Good night, Ned.Copy !req
450. - Good night, Lucky.
- Good night, Dusty.Copy !req
451. Lip balm?Copy !req
452. Excuse me...
Are you the singing bush?Copy !req
453. Let me talk to him.Copy !req
454. Excuse us!
Are you the singing bush?Copy !req
455. - Hello?
- HitCopy !req
456. Hi!Copy !req
457. Excuse us!Copy !req
458. Hey!Copy !req
459. Forget it.
My guess is this is the singing bush.Copy !req
460. - Let's go summon the invisible swordsman.
- Summon the invisible swordsman?Copy !req
461. I can't believe I'm doing this.Copy !req
462. Now let me see here.Copy !req
463. We each have to fire
one shot in the air...Copy !req
464. say the magic chant,
and the invisible swordsman will appear.Copy !req
465. Neddy!Copy !req
466. Dusty.Copy !req
467. Great!
You've killed the invisible swordsman.Copy !req
468. - He's dead, all right.
- How was I supposed to know where he was?Copy !req
469. You were supposed to fire up.
We both fired up!Copy !req
470. It's like living
with a six-year-old.Copy !req
471. Now we'll never find El Guapo's.Copy !req
472. He was the only one
who could show the way! We're lost.Copy !req
473. It's the Tubman 601
we saw in Diablo.Copy !req
474. I'll bet it's going to El Guapo's.Copy !req
475. Mount up!Copy !req
476. It means, "Get on your horses."Copy !req
477. Carmen,
today is El Guapo's birthday...Copy !req
478. and tonight,
you are to be El Guapo's woman.Copy !req
479. I would sooner die.Copy !req
480. Let me prepare you for the way
El Guapo makes love.Copy !req
481. Tell me, Carmen,
do you know what foreplay is?Copy !req
482. - No.
- Good. Neither does El Guapo.Copy !req
483. Jefe, the German arrived yet?Copy !req
484. Not yet, El Guapo. Many presents
have been coming for your birthday.Copy !req
485. The German
has the only presents I want.Copy !req
486. Guns! Guns, so that the name of El Guapo
will be hanging on everyone's lips.Copy !req
487. He will be here, Guapo.Copy !req
488. But I think you will like
your other presents, too.Copy !req
489. I have put many beautiful pinatas
in the storeroom...Copy !req
490. each of them filled
with little surprises.Copy !req
491. - Many pinatas?
- Oh, yes, many!Copy !req
492. Would you say
I have a plethora of pinatas?Copy !req
493. - A what?
- A plethora.Copy !req
494. Oh, yes, you have a plethora.Copy !req
495. Jefe, what is a plethora?Copy !req
496. - Why, Guapo?
- Well, you told me I have a plethora...Copy !req
497. and I just would like to know
if you know what a plethora is.Copy !req
498. I would not like to think that a person
would tell someone he has a plethora...Copy !req
499. and find out that,
that person has no idea...Copy !req
500. what it means
to have a plethora.Copy !req
501. Forgive me, El Guapo.
I know that I, Jefe...Copy !req
502. do not have your superior intellect
and education.Copy !req
503. But could it be that, once again,
ou are angry at something else...Copy !req
504. - ... and are looking to take it out on me?
- Like what, Jefe?Copy !req
505. Could it be because
you are turning 40 today?Copy !req
506. No...!Copy !req
507. Could it be because Carmen chooses
to sleep in her cell instead of with you?Copy !req
508. Why don't you just take her?Copy !req
509. When you want cattle,
you take the cattle.Copy !req
510. When you want food,
you take the food.Copy !req
511. When you want a woman,
you just take the woman.Copy !req
512. - Why don't you just take her?
- Jefe...Copy !req
513. you do not understand women.Copy !req
514. You cannot force open
the petals of a flower.Copy !req
515. When the flower is ready,
it opens itself up to you.Copy !req
516. When do you think
Carmen will open up her flower to you?Copy !req
517. Tonight, or I will kill her.Copy !req
518. El Guapo!Copy !req
519. There is the German now,
right on time.Copy !req
520. We must make him welcome.Copy !req
521. Hold!Copy !req
522. This way, boys.Copy !req
523. Stay.Copy !req
524. Down.Copy !req
525. My God!Copy !req
526. We're gonna have to figure out a way
to get inside.Copy !req
527. It looks impossible.Copy !req
528. Lucky, those walls are 25 feet high.
There's a guard at every post.Copy !req
529. - There's no way we'll ever get in there.
- I think Dusty's right.Copy !req
530. Well, we're just gonna have
to use our brains.Copy !req
531. - Damn it!
- Damn it!Copy !req
532. El Guapo!Copy !req
533. Here come the guns!Copy !req
534. Jefe, what's his name?Copy !req
535. - That's Paco.
- Paco!Copy !req
536. Take off your hat!Copy !req
537. Hold it up!Copy !req
538. Higher!Copy !req
539. You lived up to your promise!
You will be my guest at the celebration today.Copy !req
540. A little party
my men are throwing for me.Copy !req
541. Let's go!Copy !req
542. - This is where we'll climb up.
- What about that guard?Copy !req
543. - I'll throw a rock and distract him.
- Okay.Copy !req
544. But I would throw it out there somewhere,
maybe toward that tree.Copy !req
545. Try and hit that...
No, in the dry riverbed.Copy !req
546. There's...Copy !req
547. Let's go!Copy !req
548. You like it, El Guapo?Copy !req
549. Seize him!Copy !req
550. So far, so good.Copy !req
551. What was that noise?Copy !req
552. I do not know.Copy !req
553. I have three demands.Copy !req
554. One, that you stop harassing
the people of Santa Poco.Copy !req
555. Two, that all the land of Mexico
be redistributed equally among the people...Copy !req
556. and a proportional system of government
be established...Copy !req
557. consisting of three separate,
but equal, branches:Copy !req
558. The legislative, the executive,
and the judicial.Copy !req
559. And three, that the girl Carmen
be returned to me unharmed.Copy !req
560. Amigo, why you come here?
You don't belong.Copy !req
561. Now we have to kill you.Copy !req
562. - Take him away.
- Excuse me, did you say kill me?Copy !req
563. You see, under my system, you would
no longer be under the thumb of El Guapo...Copy !req
564. but you would be free
to determine your own destiny.Copy !req
565. You see, under a strong federal system,
you would have certain rights.Copy !req
566. For example, owning property.Copy !req
567. You two could have
a beautiful little castle on the mesa.Copy !req
568. You know, I can see it now, with your
little bandidos running everywhere...Copy !req
569. playing in the yard.Copy !req
570. - We have a plan.
- What is it?Copy !req
571. - First, we break into El Guapo's fortress.
- And that you've done. Now what?Copy !req
572. Well, we really didn't expect the first part of
the plan to work, so we have no further plan.Copy !req
573. Sometimes you can over-plan
these things.Copy !req
574. So give me a second to talk to Lucky,
and I'll get back to you.Copy !req
575. Wait!
There's a guard outside the door.Copy !req
576. Quick!
You must dress in his clothes.Copy !req
577. Then, you will be able
to move freely in the courtyard.Copy !req
578. Good idea.Copy !req
579. Easy!Copy !req
580. Come and get them, guerito!Copy !req
581. So, I just wait here then?Copy !req
582. Okay, you go get the horses.
Meet us out front.Copy !req
583. That's a good plan.Copy !req
584. Thank you.Copy !req
585. Rodriguez!Copy !req
586. A toast... to El Guapo!Copy !req
587. Today... he is...Copy !req
588. 33 years old!Copy !req
589. On behalf of myself...Copy !req
590. Jefe...
and the rest of the boys...Copy !req
591. we chipped in
and got you this gift.Copy !req
592. Conchita!Copy !req
593. What can you say
about such men?Copy !req
594. It's a sweater!Copy !req
595. It's a sweater!Copy !req
596. Jefe!Copy !req
597. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
598. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
599. Gonna make it! Gonna make it!
Gonna make it! Gonna make it!Copy !req
600. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
601. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
602. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
603. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
604. Gonna make it!Copy !req
605. Gonna make it!Copy !req
606. I made it!Copy !req
607. My men...Copy !req
608. my compadres...Copy !req
609. what we have done,
we have done together.Copy !req
610. I know each one of you
like I know my own smell!Copy !req
611. - Carlos!
- Carlos!Copy !req
612. We fought together
the priests of this mission.Copy !req
613. - Pedro!
- Pedro!Copy !req
614. We crushed the federates
on the plains of Oaxaca.Copy !req
615. - And you...!
- José!Copy !req
616. José!Copy !req
617. - Together, we...
- ... burned the village!Copy !req
618. Burned the village!Copy !req
619. - And, uh...
- Raped the horses!Copy !req
620. Raped the horses!Copy !req
621. And we...Copy !req
622. - ... rode off on the women!
- Rode off on the women!Copy !req
623. - And, uh...
- We plundered!Copy !req
624. Plundered!Copy !req
625. - And, uh...
- Pruned!Copy !req
626. Pruned the, uh...Copy !req
627. - ... the hedges...
- Hedges...Copy !req
628. - Of many small villages!
- Of many small villages.Copy !req
629. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
630. Another one
of the goddamn gringos.Copy !req
631. Take this monkey away!
Put him with the other Yankee maricon.Copy !req
632. What is happening around here today?
Are gringos falling from the sky?Copy !req
633. Yes, El Guapo.Copy !req
634. Now we have all the Amigos.
Take them away.Copy !req
635. One moment, please.Copy !req
636. - I know who this man is.
- You do?Copy !req
637. Yes, it is Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
638. Who?Copy !req
639. You... You...Copy !req
640. You...Copy !req
641. You are my favorite star
of the silver screen!Copy !req
642. Really?Copy !req
643. In Germany, the cinema is very popular!
I have seen all of your films.Copy !req
644. Including when you were known as
Little Neddy Knickers.Copy !req
645. Well, that was a long time ago.Copy !req
646. It was this man who inspired me
to learn the art of the quick draw.Copy !req
647. I looked up to this man.
I studied his every move.Copy !req
648. It was my dream
to be as fast as Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
649. I practiced every day
for hours and hours.Copy !req
650. He was a god to me!Copy !req
651. A god?
Well, T don't know about that.Copy !req
652. But it is nice to meet a fan.
You know, often I think...Copy !req
653. Then, I found out about movie tricks.
Trick photography. I was crushed!Copy !req
654. - I never used trick photography.
- That is impossible.Copy !req
655. No one can be as fast
as you appear to be.Copy !req
656. I am that fast.Copy !req
657. - We shall see.
- Happy to.Copy !req
658. Does anybody have a watch,
preferably one with a second hand?Copy !req
659. - I got a stopwatch.
- No stopwatch.Copy !req
660. As you Americans say,
"We will play for keeps."Copy !req
661. Give me back his gun.Copy !req
662. Leave him here.Copy !req
663. He might like
to see his friend die.Copy !req
664. I've seen it.Copy !req
665. You don't understand...
I don't shoot at people.Copy !req
666. You see,
it's against my upbringing.Copy !req
667. Call it etiquette, whatever.
You know, I was thinking...Copy !req
668. I've waited for years
for this moment.Copy !req
669. You wanna die
with a man's gun...Copy !req
670. not a little sissy gun like this.Copy !req
671. Enough!
Take the gun! Let's go!Copy !req
672. - I have had enough of these Yankees!
- Not so fast, El Guapo!Copy !req
673. Or I'll fill you so full of lead,
you'll be using your dick for a pencil!Copy !req
674. - What do you mean?
- I don't know!Copy !req
675. - I think he means that if you...
- Shut up!Copy !req
676. So, you thought
you could outsmart the Amigos.Copy !req
677. Well, not this time.
Dusty, cover El Guapo!Copy !req
678. Now, everybody,
throw down your guns.Copy !req
679. Do as he says!Copy !req
680. - Not you, Dusty!
- Sorry.Copy !req
681. Okay, now, everybody lay down
and put your hands behind your head.Copy !req
682. Ned, open the gates!Copy !req
683. And don't try to touch
those guns!Copy !req
684. Kill them!Copy !req
685. Hurry up! Hurry up!Copy !req
686. Ride, Amigos, ride!Copy !req
687. Ned, what luck!
It's a Tubman 601! You can fly one.Copy !req
688. Yeah. Didn't you fly one in
"Little Neddy Goes to War"?Copy !req
689. Well, not exactly.
Actually, my stuntman did.Copy !req
690. But I'm pretty sure
I can remember.Copy !req
691. Ned! Ned! Ned! Ned!Copy !req
692. Oh, God, Ned!
Oh, God!Copy !req
693. Oh, my God!Copy !req
694. - So long, El Guapo!
- I will see you in Santa Poco!Copy !req
695. Santo Poco!Copy !req
696. Ned, land!Copy !req
697. Hold it!Copy !req
698. El Guapo is on his way.Copy !req
699. Someday the people of this village
will have to face El Guapo.Copy !req
700. We might as well do it now.Copy !req
701. In a way, all of us
have an El Guapo to face someday.Copy !req
702. For some,
shyness might be their El Guapo.Copy !req
703. For others, a lack of education
might be their El Guapo.Copy !req
704. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy
who wants to kill us.Copy !req
705. But as sure as my name
is Lucky Day,Copy !req
706. the people of Santa Poco
can conquer their own personal El Guapo...Copy !req
707. who also happens to be
the actual El Guapo!Copy !req
708. We want to defend ourselves.
But how?Copy !req
709. By using the skills and the talents
of the people of Santa Poco!Copy !req
710. This is not a town of weaklings.Copy !req
711. You can turn your skills
against El Guapo.Copy !req
712. Now, what is it
that this town really does well?Copy !req
713. - We can sew.
- There you go! You can sew!Copy !req
714. - If only we had known this earlier!
- Ned, Dusty.Copy !req
715. Sewing...Copy !req
716. Remember our film,
"Amigos, Amigos, Amigos"?Copy !req
717. - Yes...
- Remember what we did in that movie?Copy !req
718. - Do you think it could work?
- It's got to work.Copy !req
719. It's our only hope.Copy !req
720. Sew, very old one.
Sew like the wind.Copy !req
721. Okay, dig here.Copy !req
722. Where are you?Copy !req
723. There they are, El Guapo!Copy !req
724. Now they're over there,
El Guapo.Copy !req
725. Now they're over there!Copy !req
726. Shoot them!Copy !req
727. They're over there!Copy !req
728. - Now they're over there!
- Now they're over here!Copy !req
729. What the hell
is happening around here?Copy !req
730. Shoot, shoot!Copy !req
731. Now they're over there,
on top of the church!Copy !req
732. El Guapo,
they are everywhere!Copy !req
733. They're over there, too!Copy !req
734. Come back, you cowards!Copy !req
735. You traitors!Copy !req
736. I'm still here, El Guapo!Copy !req
737. You stupid horse!Copy !req
738. That was some good trick.Copy !req
739. Come closer.
I have something to tell you.Copy !req
740. That was a good trick, too!Copy !req
741. I'm gonna miss you,
senor Dusty.Copy !req
742. I'm gonna miss you, too, Pablo.Copy !req
743. Here.Copy !req
744. I want you to have my watch.Copy !req
745. I wanna go with you.Copy !req
746. No, no, no, Pablo,
there's still much to be done here.Copy !req
747. Your village needs you.
And your family needs you.Copy !req
748. We are men without homes.Copy !req
749. We were meant to wander.Copy !req
750. You will always have a home
here with us in Santa Poco.Copy !req
751. Goodbye, Dusty.Copy !req
752. You have done
what you said you would do.Copy !req
753. Long will the memory of the Three Amigos
live in the hearts of the people of Santa Poco.Copy !req
754. I'll come back one day.Copy !req
755. Why?Copy !req
756. Well, I thought
that maybe you and I could...Copy !req
757. Let's ride!Copy !req
758. We are proud
to give you all that we have.Copy !req
759. Here, I'll take that.Copy !req
760. Our reward is
that justice has been done.Copy !req
761. And remember, wherever there is injustice,
you will find us.Copy !req
762. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
763. Wherever liberty is threatened,
you will find...Copy !req
764. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
765. Let's ride!Copy !req
766. Let's ride!Copy !req
767. Whoa, horsie!Copy !req
768. One for each other and all for oneCopy !req
769. The three brave amigos are weCopy !req
770. Brother to brother and everyoneCopy !req
771. A brave amigoCopy !req
772. Wherever they need us,
our destinies lead usCopy !req
773. Amigos, we're always togetherCopy !req
774. Wherever we go,
we're three brave amigosCopy !req
775. And will be amigos foreverCopy !req
776. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
777. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
778. We are the Three...Copy !req
779. A...Copy !req
780. migos!Copy !req
781. And amigos forever we'll beCopy !req