1. One for each other and all for oneCopy !req
2. The three brave amigos are weCopy !req
3. Brother to brother and everyoneCopy !req
4. A brave amigoCopy !req
5. Wherever they need us,
our destinies lead usCopy !req
6. Amigos, we're always togetherCopy !req
7. Wherever we go,
we're three brave amigosCopy !req
8. And will be amigos foreverCopy !req
9. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
10. We are the Three...Copy !req
11. A...Copy !req
12. migos!Copy !req
13. And amigos forever we'll beCopy !req
14. Rodrigo.Copy !req
15. Rodrigo, we will find
the men we need in there.Copy !req
16. Señores, we are from
the village of Santa Poco.Copy !req
17. We have come here
for your help.Copy !req
18. A very great injustice
is being done.Copy !req
19. A man named El Guapo
is threatening our very lives.Copy !req
20. We are looking for men who are brave enough
to stand up to this tyrant.Copy !req
21. Señorita!Copy !req
22. Perhaps I can be
of assistance.Copy !req
23. I'll help you.Copy !req
24. But first you're gonna help me,
darling.Copy !req
25. No!Copy !req
26. - Leave him alone! Rodrigo!
- Get out of here!Copy !req
27. Come!Copy !req
28. They are no better than El Guapo.
They will not help us.Copy !req
29. - No one will help us!
- Rodrigo, you must have faith!Copy !req
30. The Holy Mother will help us!Copy !req
31. With three men such as these,
El Guapo would not dare to enter our village.Copy !req
32. Goldsmith Pictures,
Hollywood, California.Copy !req
33. The Three Amigos, Goldsmith Pictures,
Hollywood, California.Copy !req
34. Ami...Copy !req
35. gos.Copy !req
36. We have seen your deeds
and think you are very great.Copy !req
37. We can pay you
100,000 pesos.Copy !req
38. 100,000 pesos?Copy !req
39. We do not have 100,000 pesos.Copy !req
40. Don't worry, Rodrigo,
they will refuse it.Copy !req
41. But it would be an insult
not to offer it to them.Copy !req
42. 100,000...Copy !req
43. pesos.Copy !req
44. 100.000 pesos
if you come to Santa Poco...Copy !req
45. and put on a show of your strength
and stop the... the horrible...Copy !req
46. - evil, murdering...
- villainous monster, El Guapo.Copy !req
47. So that once again we
can be a peaceful village.Copy !req
48. 23 pesos.Copy !req
49. We only have 10.Copy !req
50. Okay.
I give you the 10-pesos version.Copy !req
51. "You are great."Copy !req
52. "100,000 pesos...Copy !req
53. if you come to Santa Poco...
put on show.Copy !req
54. Stop the...Copy !req
55. I'll put "infamous El Guapo."Copy !req
56. - Infamous?
- Yes.Copy !req
57. It means "murderous, evil"...
all like you said.Copy !req
58. - And it will save you money.
- Thank you.Copy !req
59. We've got to get back
to basics.Copy !req
60. "Shooting for Love".
"Wanderers of the West".Copy !req
61. "The Ride of the Three Amigos".Copy !req
62. All the great Amigo pictures
had one thing in common:Copy !req
63. Three wealthy Spanish landowners
who fight for the rights of peasants.Copy !req
64. Now, that's something everyone likes.
It's a people idea.Copy !req
65. It's a story a nation
can sink its teeth into.Copy !req
66. But then came
"Those Darn Amigos".Copy !req
67. A box office failure.
Nobody went to see it...Copy !req
68. because nobody cares
about three wealthy Spanish landowners...Copy !req
69. on a weekend in Manhattan.Copy !req
70. We strayed from the formula,
and we paid the price.Copy !req
71. I thought
we were quite good in it.Copy !req
72. Good? We were great!Copy !req
73. Why don't you tell the boys
about the Cochise picture, Morty?Copy !req
74. Sandy and Irving
are working on it right now.Copy !req
75. You meet Cochise.
At first, you think he's a terrible guy.Copy !req
76. You fight.
Then, you get to know him...Copy !req
77. you come to respect each other,
and at the end of the picture, you're friends!Copy !req
78. We send you boys to Baja
and we shoot the picture in eight clays.Copy !req
79. What do you think?Copy !req
80. That'll be the clay.Copy !req
81. - What did he say?
- He said, "That'll be the clay," Mr. Flugleman.Copy !req
82. What?Copy !req
83. I don't think you understand
who you're talking to here.Copy !req
84. We have a few items
we want to straighten out first...Copy !req
85. or you might be looking
at three actorsCopy !req
86. who really don't feel like
making a Geronimo picture.Copy !req
87. - What the hell are you talking about?
- Lucky, I think maybe we should...Copy !req
88. What we're talking about is money,
real money. Amigo money.Copy !req
89. No dough, no show.Copy !req
90. Bays! Boys...Copy !req
91. Let me just say one thing:Copy !req
92. It'll be a cold clay in hell...Copy !req
93. when Harry Flugleman
lets an actor tell him what to do!Copy !req
94. Do you know
what the word "nada" means?Copy !req
95. In all those Mexican movies you made,
did you ever hear that word?Copy !req
96. - Isn't that a light chicken gravy that you...
- It means "nothing"!Copy !req
97. "Zero, zip"! It's what you're gonna have
when I'm through with you!Copy !req
98. You hit Harry Flugleman
on a bad clay!Copy !req
99. I'd like to continue to work for free,
Mr. Flugleman.Copy !req
100. Are you living
in the studio mansion?Copy !req
101. - Yeah...
- Not anymore, you're not. Sam!Copy !req
102. - The Amigos are out of the mansion.
- Where did you get those clothes?Copy !req
103. From a movie?Copy !req
104. Yeah, the studio gave them to us.
"Those Darn Amigos".Copy !req
105. Well, we're taking them back.
Sam!Copy !req
106. Get wardrobe over here right away.
Take the Amigos' clothes.Copy !req
107. Wait a minute!
You can't take our clothes.Copy !req
108. You gave us these clothes.
They were presents!Copy !req
109. Come on, wait a minute!
Lucky!Copy !req
110. Wait a second!
I think you misread who you're talking to here.Copy !req
111. Misread?Copy !req
112. I want these schmucks
off of my lot.Copy !req
113. Your asses
have just been streamlined!Copy !req
114. The Three Amigos are history!Copy !req
115. Okay! Okay!Copy !req
116. Okay!Copy !req
117. And Mr. Flugleman says
you're not to come back on this lot ever!Copy !req
118. Look, boys, I know show business.
Something always turns up.Copy !req
119. Telegram for the Three Amigos.Copy !req
120. "Three Amigos, Hollywood, California.
You are very great."Copy !req
121. "100,000 pesos
to come to Santa Poco...Copy !req
122. put on show.
Stop.Copy !req
123. The infamous El Guapo."Copy !req
124. What does that mean?
"In-famous"?Copy !req
125. Dusty»-Copy !req
126. in-famous is when
you're more than famous.Copy !req
127. This man El Guapo is not just famous,
he's in-famous.Copy !req
128. 100,000 pesos to do a personal appearance
with this guy El Guapo...Copy !req
129. who is probably the biggest actor
to ever come out of Mexico!Copy !req
130. Wow! The in-famous?Copy !req
131. In-famous?Copy !req
132. Wouldn't it be easier if we went to Flugleman
and asked him for our Amigo costumes?Copy !req
133. No, Flugleman hates us right now.
He's never gonna give us our costumes.Copy !req
134. Lucky's right.
This is the only way.Copy !req
135. Hey! You two!Copy !req
136. You! You! Two! Look here!Copy !req
137. Hey, you, look! Up here!Copy !req
138. Look up here, look up here,
look up here!Copy !req
139. Hey, you, look! Up here!Copy !req
140. UP here! Up here!Copy !req
141. Hey, you guys!Copy !req
142. This way!Copy !req
143. Turn on the lights.Copy !req
144. Hey, what's going on up there?Copy !req
145. Let's go, Amigos.Copy !req
146. I'm looking for a man
by the name of El Guapo.Copy !req
147. Do you know this man?Copy !req
148. - Perhaps, señor.
- Hey!Copy !req
149. Where'd you get
that pretty little gun?Copy !req
150. El Guapo will be interest to see me.
I have something he wants.Copy !req
151. Hey, I'm talking to you!Copy !req
152. Where'd you get
that pretty little gun?Copy !req
153. I'm meeting
some friends of mine here.Copy !req
154. When they get here,
tell them to wait.Copy !req
155. - How will I know them?
- You will know them.Copy !req
156. You will most certainly
know them.Copy !req
157. Hey.Copy !req
158. Why don't you come over here
and sit on my lap?Copy !req
159. I wanna show you
something, honey.Copy !req
160. Anyone else with a comment?Copy !req
161. Some friends of mine
will be coming here.Copy !req
162. I hope you will show them more courtesy
than you have shown me.Copy !req
163. They aren't as kindhearted
as I am.Copy !req
164. Looks like somebody's been down here
with the ugly stick.Copy !req
165. Let's go.Copy !req
166. Uh, excuse us.Copy !req
167. We're not Mexicans.
We're from out of town.Copy !req
168. We were wondering if you could tell us
where the best hotel in town is.Copy !req
169. - There's no hotel in this town.
- Great. No hotel.Copy !req
170. I could kill somebody!Copy !req
171. Excuse me. You are the...?Copy !req
172. Yes, we are.Copy !req
173. - We have heard of you.
- No kidding.Copy !req
174. I have a message for you.Copy !req
175. The German says to wait here.Copy !req
176. Mmm, yeah.Copy !req
177. Well, so long as we've got some time to kill,
I think I'll have a beer.Copy !req
178. We don't have no beer,
just tequila.Copy !req
179. - What's tequila?
- It's like beer.Copy !req
180. - Is it fattening?
- Fattening?Copy !req
181. Forget it. If it's like beer, we'll have some.
Three tequilas!Copy !req
182. Sure. Sure, amigos.Copy !req
183. Enjoy yourselves.Copy !req
184. But try not to get into
too much troubles, okay?Copy !req
185. Thank you.Copy !req
186. - It's an odd taste, isn't it?
- It's probably watered down.Copy !req
187. There's something about this place.
Everybody seems so grim.Copy !req
188. Well, they're just intimidated.
They've only seen us on the big screen.Copy !req
189. Hey, we're just folks like you.
Just relax.Copy !req
190. Dusty, go on over to that piano.Copy !req
191. - Oh, no. I haven't played in so long.
- Come on!Copy !req
192. I couldn't, really.Copy !req
193. - Been a long time.
- All right, we'll do a little number for you.Copy !req
194. But remember, we're a bit rusty,
so bear with us.Copy !req
195. - Just like the old clays.
- All right!Copy !req
196. Maestro?Copy !req
197. Everybody!Copy !req
198. Hey, great!Copy !req
199. - What did I tell you?
- Yeah, they loved us.Copy !req
200. - What is that?
- It's a plane.Copy !req
201. Not just any plane.
It's a Tubman 601.Copy !req
202. I flew one in
"Little Neddy Goes to War".Copy !req
203. - What's it doing here?
- I think it's a mail plane.Copy !req
204. - How can you tell?
- Well, didn't you notice its little balls?Copy !req
205. The little balls hanging down.Copy !req
206. The little... The balls.Copy !req
207. The mail plane.
It's a "male" plane.Copy !req
208. And the balls...!Copy !req
209. That's... That's...Copy !req
210. Let's go find out
where we're supposed to be.Copy !req
211. Okay.Copy !req
212. Hey!
Look at the little sissies!Copy !req
213. This town
is getting too rough for me.Copy !req
214. Carmen, the Three Amigos!
I saw them coming out of the cantina.Copy !req
215. - You are the Three Amigos?
- Yes, we are.Copy !req
216. Told you
we were big down here.Copy !req
217. Come.
We will take you to Santa Poco.Copy !req
218. - Oh, great!
- Fine.Copy !req
219. This is our village.Copy !req
220. Isn't that the Three Amigos?Copy !req
221. Do you think they can protect us
from El Guapo?Copy !req
222. - Welcome to Santa Poco.
- Here you go.Copy !req
223. Dusty Bottoms.Copy !req
224. Can I have your watch
when you are dead?Copy !req
225. What did he say?Copy !req
226. That's good. Very good.Copy !req
227. We are honored
to have you in our home.Copy !req
228. Do you have anything
besides Mexican food?Copy !req
229. Lucky, how's this show
supposed to work anyway?Copy !req
230. Well, I talked to Rodrigo tonight.
He's the kid.Copy !req
231. He was kind of hazy
on the details.Copy !req
232. But as far as I can figure,
El Guapo's coming in a clay or two.Copy !req
233. He rides in,
acts like he owns the place.Copy !req
234. We come out, put on a big show,
and pretend like we run him off.Copy !req
235. It's pretty much what we did in
"Shooting for Love".Copy !req
236. Hey, Lucky. What are you gonna do
with your share of the money?Copy !req
237. A car.Copy !req
238. A big, shiny, silver car.Copy !req
239. I'll drive all over Hollywood,
show Flugleman a thing or two.Copy !req
240. What about you?Copy !req
241. New York. Maybe Paris.Copy !req
242. A lot of champagne.Copy !req
243. Parties.Copy !req
244. - Be a big shot for a while.
- Yeah...Copy !req
245. How about you, Ned?Copy !req
246. I'm gonna start a foundation
to help homeless children.Copy !req
247. That occurred to me to do that
at one point, too.Copy !req
248. I meant that I would do that first,
and then I would get a big, shiny car.Copy !req
249. Or after I come back...Copy !req
250. Hey, let's go
get some more tequila.Copy !req
251. El Guapo,
he said to wait here.Copy !req
252. By the time he's here,
we'll be back.Copy !req
253. Let's go to Santa Poco.
They'll be glad to see us!Copy !req
254. Which one do you like best,
Carmen?Copy !req
255. I like the one
who's not so smart.Copy !req
256. Which one is that?Copy !req
257. Sooner than expected.
I must warn the Three Amigos.Copy !req
258. They are coming!
They are coming!Copy !req
259. - Who?
- El Guapo and his men.Copy !req
260. Already?Copy !req
261. Well, we'll start
to get ready then.Copy !req
262. They want us
to do the show now.Copy !req
263. - Great! I thought we were going to rehearse.
- Obviously not.Copy !req
264. So what? They've probably done it a
million times, and we know what we're doing.Copy !req
265. Looks like there's about
three of them.Copy !req
266. Perfect.
Rodrigo said there'd be 50, now there's three.Copy !req
267. - They better not try to cut our money.
- Where's our tequila? We're waiting!Copy !req
268. Say, those guys
look pretty good.Copy !req
269. Are you kidding?
They're doing every cliché in the book.Copy !req
270. We'll give them about 30 more seconds.
I hope those horses they got for us are okay.Copy !req
271. If I have to come into that cantina,
somebody's gonna die!Copy !req
272. Okay, Amigos, this is it.
Ned, big smile.Copy !req
273. - Dusty, just relax and have fun with it.
- I'm just gonna have fun with it.Copy !req
274. - I'm Lucky Day.
- I'm Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
275. I'm Dusty Bottoms,
and together we're...Copy !req
276. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
277. LEESCopy !req
278. Well, you slime-eating clogs!
You scum-sucking pigs!Copy !req
279. You sons
of a motherless goat!Copy !req
280. "Son of a motherless goat"?
And who are you?Copy !req
281. Wherever there is injustice,
you will find us.Copy !req
282. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
283. - Line.
- Wherever liberty is threatened, you will...Copy !req
284. Wherever liberty is threatened,
you will find...Copy !req
285. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
286. - Who are these monkeys?
- I don't know!Copy !req
287. Should we kill them?Copy !req
288. No, let's go tell El Guapo
what we've seen here.Copy !req
289. And stay out!Copy !req
290. - Nice show.
- Not bad for a matinee.Copy !req
291. - Damn it, I forgot a line though.
- They'll never pick it up. They'll never notice it.Copy !req
292. They're really starved
for entertainment around here.Copy !req
293. I'm telling you,
I've been in this situation before.Copy !req
294. Ask for the money now,
while they're excited.Copy !req
295. You were magnificent!Copy !req
296. We were okay.Copy !req
297. - Then what happened?
- Then, they got on their horses.Copy !req
298. They rode all over the town,
shooting their pistols up in the air.Copy !req
299. And they called us scum-sucking pigs!
Us!Copy !req
300. What should we do, El Guapo?Copy !req
301. Tomorrow,
I will take 50 men with me...Copy !req
302. find these three gringos,
open their stomachs...Copy !req
303. grab their intestines,
and squeeze the shit out of them!Copy !req
304. Perfect!Copy !req
305. Do you have a girlfriend
back home, Dusty?Copy !req
306. No.Copy !req
307. We never really had time
for that sort of thing, being so busy.Copy !req
308. Have you ever kissed a girl?Copy !req
309. Oh, yeah. Sure, lots of times.Copy !req
310. Would you like to kiss me?Copy !req
311. Yeah.Copy !req
312. Well?Copy !req
313. What, now? Here?Copy !req
314. We could take a walk,
and you could kiss me on the veranda.Copy !req
315. Lips would be fine.Copy !req
316. One time Dorothy Gish
was visiting me on the set...Copy !req
317. of "Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun"...Copy !req
318. and she came up to me...Copy !req
319. and she looked me in the face -
and I had never met her...Copy !req
320. I'd just known her from the films.
You know, Dorothy Gish...Copy !req
321. Lillian's sister...Copy !req
322. And she looked me in the eyes,
and she said:Copy !req
323. "Young man, you have got it."Copy !req
324. And...Copy !req
325. Dorothy Gish!
It's a true story.Copy !req
326. Next time we come here,
I'm gonna ask for a different room.Copy !req
327. Amigos, El Guapo himself is here,
with all his men, just outside the village.Copy !req
328. I have your horses waiting.
You must ride against them now.Copy !req
329. What is she talking about?Copy !req
330. I don't know.Copy !req
331. Looks like we got
another show to do.Copy !req
332. - Great. Yeah.
- Let's get it over with.Copy !req
333. LEESCopy !req
334. They are so brave.Copy !req
335. It's a pleasure working with you.Copy !req
336. Well, you dirt-eating
piece of slime!Copy !req
337. You scum-sucking pig!Copy !req
338. You son of a motherless goat!Copy !req
339. - Who are you?
- Wherever there is injustice...Copy !req
340. you will find us.Copy !req
341. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
342. - Tell us we will die like clogs.
- What?Copy !req
343. Tell us
we will die like clogs.Copy !req
344. - You will die like clogs.
- No, we will not die like clogs!Copy !req
345. We will fight like lions.
Because we are...Copy !req
346. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
347. Ride, caballeros!Copy !req
348. Ride, Amigos!Copy !req
349. I like these guys.Copy !req
350. They are funny guys!Copy !req
351. Just kill one of them.Copy !req
352. Hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
353. Lucky, jeez, are you all right?Copy !req
354. - What happened?
- I don't know.Copy !req
355. - Here.
- Jeez...Copy !req
356. Jeez...Copy !req
357. What? What?Copy !req
358. Wait a second.Copy !req
359. Let me see that.Copy !req
360. Come on, come on.Copy !req
361. Oh, great! Real bullets!Copy !req
362. I'll keep this.Copy !req
363. You're in a lot of trouble,
mister!Copy !req
364. Excuse me.Copy !req
365. It's real.Copy !req
366. What?Copy !req
367. Uh, this is real.Copy !req
368. - You mean...?
- Yes.Copy !req
369. They're going to kill us.Copy !req
370. What am I doing in Mexico?Copy !req
371. - I've been shot already.
- I know.Copy !req
372. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
373. We're not gonna get paid,
that's for sure.Copy !req
374. Let me talk to them,
man to man.Copy !req
375. Yes.Copy !req
376. Mr. Guapo...Copy !req
377. I'd just like to say,
on behalf of the Three Amigos...Copy !req
378. we're very, very sorry..Copy !req
379. And we'd like
to go home now.Copy !req
380. You see, sir...Copy !req
381. we're not gunfighters.Copy !req
382. We're movie stars.Copy !req
383. - Movie stars?
- Yeah, actors, uh, entertainers.Copy !req
384. - You know, we sing and dance.
- Yeah, you know...Copy !req
385. Don't you want
to die like clogs?Copy !req
386. Well, if there's any way
of avoiding that part of it...Copy !req
387. El Guapo only kills men.Copy !req
388. He does not kill crying women.Copy !req
389. So go...Copy !req
390. you big movie stars.Copy !req
391. - Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
392. Faster!Copy !req
393. People of Santa Poco...Copy !req
394. you were very foolish
to bring men to try to stop El Guapo.Copy !req
395. You have hurt me.Copy !req
396. You see, Jefe?Copy !req
397. A rose can bloom in the desert.Copy !req
398. Jefe!Copy !req
399. Santa Poco is no longer
under my protection!Copy !req
400. The town is yours, muchachos!Copy !req
401. El Guapo!Copy !req
402. Afternoon.Copy !req
403. - We'll just get our things and go.
- There is nothing of yours here.Copy !req
404. El Guapo has taken everything.Copy !req
405. Sorry.Copy !req
406. Did you see a pair of cuff links?Copy !req
407. - They were mother-of-pearl...
- Dusty...Copy !req
408. - Where's Carmen?
- El Guapo has taken her, too.Copy !req
409. - Let's go back to Hollywood.
- The sooner, the better.Copy !req
410. - It's too hot down here.
- Bad for my hay fever.Copy !req
411. - We don't belong down here anyway.
- Where's Ned?Copy !req
412. - Ned, what are you doing?
- What do we have to go back to?Copy !req
413. We've no jobs. No money.Copy !req
414. No place to live.Copy !req
415. No friends.Copy !req
416. No women.Copy !req
417. - No self-respect.
- Oh, hold on. Wait.Copy !req
418. Ned, we could get killed.Copy !req
419. Back there, the Three Amigos
are already dead.Copy !req
420. Here we could be
the Three Amigos for real.Copy !req
421. I'm drawing a line.Copy !req
422. Men or mice? What'll it be?Copy !req
423. Let's ride!Copy !req
424. - Great job catching the food, Ned.
- Oh, thanks, Lucky.Copy !req
425. How do you like your bat,
Dusty?Copy !req
426. - Medium rare.
- This should do it.Copy !req
427. Thanks.Copy !req
428. How far do you think we rode
before we had to go back and get directions?Copy !req
429. Just three or four miles.Copy !req
430. - Ned, read those instructions again.
- All righty.Copy !req
431. All right...Copy !req
432. We go east...Copy !req
433. through the desert
until we come to the singing bush.Copy !req
434. The singing bush?Copy !req
435. When we find the singing bush,
we say the magic chant...Copy !req
436. each fire one shot in the air, and that
will summon the invisible swordsman...Copy !req
437. and he will then show us the way
to El Guapo's.Copy !req
438. - Want your wings?
- No, I'm fine.Copy !req
439. - Here you go.
- Oh, great. Thanks.Copy !req
440. Good night.Copy !req
441. Look at the little fella.
He's tuckered out already.Copy !req
442. - What was that?
- It's just a coyote.Copy !req
443. - I've never slept outside before.
- Take it easy. Take it easy.Copy !req
444. Dusty»-Copy !req
445. Night, Lucky.Copy !req
446. - Night, Dusty.
- Good night, Ned.Copy !req
447. Good night, Ned.Copy !req
448. Good night, Ned.Copy !req
449. - Good night, Lucky.
- Good night, Dusty.Copy !req
450. Lip balm?Copy !req
451. Excuse me...
Are you the singing bush?Copy !req
452. Let me talk to him.Copy !req
453. Excuse us!
Are you the singing bush?Copy !req
454. - Hello?
- Hi!Copy !req
455. Hi!Copy !req
456. Excuse us!Copy !req
457. Hey!Copy !req
458. Forget it.
My guess is this is the singing bush.Copy !req
459. - Let's go summon the invisible swordsman.
- Summon the invisible swordsman?Copy !req
460. I can't believe I'm doing this.Copy !req
461. Now let me see here.Copy !req
462. We each have to fire
one shot in the air...Copy !req
463. say the magic chant,
and the invisible swordsman will appear.Copy !req
464. Neddy!Copy !req
465. Dusty.Copy !req
466. Great!
You've killed the invisible swordsman.Copy !req
467. - He's dead, all right.
- How was I supposed to know where he was?Copy !req
468. You were supposed to fire up.
We both fired up!Copy !req
469. It's like living
with a six-year-old.Copy !req
470. Now we'll never find El Guapo's.Copy !req
471. He was the only one
who could show the way! We're lost.Copy !req
472. It's the Tubman 601
we saw in Diablo.Copy !req
473. I'll bet it's going to El Guapo's.Copy !req
474. Mount UP!Copy !req
475. It means, "Get on your horses."Copy !req
476. Carmen,
today is El Guapo's birthday...Copy !req
477. and tonight,
you are to be El Guapo's woman.Copy !req
478. I would sooner die.Copy !req
479. Let me prepare you for the way
El Guapo makes love.Copy !req
480. Tell me, Carmen,
do you know what foreplay is?Copy !req
481. - No.
- Good. Neither does El Guapo.Copy !req
482. Jefe, the German arrived yet?Copy !req
483. Not yet, El Guapo. Many presents
have been coming for your birthday.Copy !req
484. The German
has the only presents I want.Copy !req
485. Guns! Guns, so that the name of El Guapo
will be hanging on everyone's lips.Copy !req
486. He will be here, Guapo.Copy !req
487. But I think you will like
your other presents, too.Copy !req
488. I have put many beautiful piñatas
in the storeroom...Copy !req
489. each of them filled
with little surprises.Copy !req
490. - Many piñatas?
_ Oh! YES,Copy !req
491. Would you say
I have a plethora of piñatas?Copy !req
492. - A what?
- A plethora.Copy !req
493. Oh, yes, you have a plethora.Copy !req
494. Jefe, what is a plethora?Copy !req
495. - Why, Guapo?
- Well, you told me I have a plethora...Copy !req
496. and I just would like to know
if you know what a plethora is.Copy !req
497. I would not like to think that a person
would tell someone he has a plethora...Copy !req
498. and find out that,
that person has no idea...Copy !req
499. what it means
to have a plethora.Copy !req
500. Forgive me, El Guapo.
I know that I, Jefe...Copy !req
501. do not have your superior intellect
and education.Copy !req
502. But could it be that, once again,
you are angry at something else...Copy !req
503. - and are looking to take it out on me?
- Like what, Jefe?Copy !req
504. Could it be because
you are turning 40 today?Copy !req
505. No...!Copy !req
506. Could it be because Carmen chooses
to sleep in her cell instead of with you?Copy !req
507. Why don't you just take her?Copy !req
508. When you want cattle,
you take the cattle.Copy !req
509. When you want food,
you take the food.Copy !req
510. When you want a woman,
you just take the woman.Copy !req
511. - Why don't you just take her?
- Jefe...Copy !req
512. you do not understand women.Copy !req
513. You cannot force open
the petals of a flower.Copy !req
514. When the flower is ready,
it opens itself up to you.Copy !req
515. When do you think
Carmen will open up her flower to you?Copy !req
516. Tonight, or I will kill her.Copy !req
517. El Guapo!Copy !req
518. There is the German now,
right on time.Copy !req
519. We must make him welcome.Copy !req
520. Hold!Copy !req
521. This way, boys.Copy !req
522. Sta)'-Copy !req
523. Down.Copy !req
524. My God!Copy !req
525. We're gonna have to figure out a way
to get inside.Copy !req
526. It looks impossible.Copy !req
527. Lucky, those walls are 25 feet high.
There's a guard at every post.Copy !req
528. - There's no way we'll ever get in there.
- I think Dusty's right.Copy !req
529. Well, we're just gonna have
to use our brains.Copy !req
530. - Damn it!
- Damn it!Copy !req
531. El Guapo!Copy !req
532. Here come the guns!Copy !req
533. Jefe, what's his name?Copy !req
534. - That's Paco.
- Paco!Copy !req
535. Take off your hat!Copy !req
536. Hold it up!Copy !req
537. Higher!Copy !req
538. You lived up to your promise!
You will be my guest at the celebration today.Copy !req
539. A little party
my men are throwing for me.Copy !req
540. LEESCopy !req
541. - This is where we'll climb up.
- What about that guard?Copy !req
542. - I'll throw a rock and distract him.
- Okay.Copy !req
543. But I would throw it out there somewhere,
maybe toward that tree.Copy !req
544. Try and hit that...
No, in the dry riverbed.Copy !req
545. There's...Copy !req
546. LEESCopy !req
547. You like it, El Guapo?Copy !req
548. Seize him!Copy !req
549. So far, so good.Copy !req
550. What was that noise?Copy !req
551. I do not know.Copy !req
552. I have three demands.Copy !req
553. One, that you stop harassing
the people of Santa Poco.Copy !req
554. Two, that all the land of Mexico
be redistributed equally among the people...Copy !req
555. and a proportional system of government
be established...Copy !req
556. consisting of three separate,
but equal, branches:Copy !req
557. The legislative, the executive,
and the judicial.Copy !req
558. And three, that the girl Carmen
be returned to me unharmed.Copy !req
559. Amigo, why you come here?
You don't belong.Copy !req
560. Now we have to kill you.Copy !req
561. - Take him away.
- Excuse me, did you say kill me?Copy !req
562. You see, under my system, you would
no longer be under the thumb of El Guapo...Copy !req
563. but you would be free
to determine your own destiny.Copy !req
564. You see, under a strong federal system,
you would have certain rights.Copy !req
565. For example, owning property.Copy !req
566. You two could have
a beautiful little castle on the mesa.Copy !req
567. You know, I can see it now, with your
little bandidos running everywhere...Copy !req
568. playing in the yard.Copy !req
569. - We have a plan.
- What is it?Copy !req
570. - First, we break into El Guapo's fortress.
- And that you've done. Now what?Copy !req
571. Well, we really didn't expect the first part of
the plan to work, so we have no further plan.Copy !req
572. Sometimes you can over-plan
these things.Copy !req
573. So give me a second to talk to Lucky,
and I'll get back to you.Copy !req
574. Wait!
There's a guard outside the door.Copy !req
575. Quick!
You must dress in his clothes.Copy !req
576. Then, you will be able
to move freely in the courtyard.Copy !req
577. Good idea.Copy !req
578. Easy!Copy !req
579. Come and get them, guerito!Copy !req
580. So, I just wait here then?Copy !req
581. Okay, you go get the horses.
Meet us out front.Copy !req
582. That's a good plan.Copy !req
583. Thank you.Copy !req
584. Rodriguez!Copy !req
585. A toast... to El Guapo!Copy !req
586. Today... he is...Copy !req
587. 33 years old!Copy !req
588. On behalf of myself...Copy !req
589. Jefe...
and the rest of the boys...Copy !req
590. we chipped in
and got you this gift.Copy !req
591. Conchita!Copy !req
592. What can you say
about such men?Copy !req
593. It's a sweater!Copy !req
594. Jefe!Copy !req
595. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
596. Gonna make it! Gonna make it!
Gonna make it! Gonna make it!Copy !req
597. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
598. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
599. Gonna make it!
Gonna make it!Copy !req
600. Gonna make it!Copy !req
601. Gonna make it!Copy !req
602. I made it!Copy !req
603. My men...Copy !req
604. my compadres...Copy !req
605. what we have done,
we have done together.Copy !req
606. I know each one of you
like I know my own smell!Copy !req
607. - Carlos!
- Carlos!Copy !req
608. We fought together
the priests of this mission.Copy !req
609. - Pedro!
- Pedro!Copy !req
610. We crushed the federales
on the plains of Oaxaca.Copy !req
611. - And you...!
- José!Copy !req
612. José!Copy !req
613. - Together, we...
- burned the village!Copy !req
614. Burned the village!Copy !req
615. - And, uh...
- Raped the horses!Copy !req
616. Raped the horses!Copy !req
617. And we...Copy !req
618. - rode off on the women!
- Rode off on the women!Copy !req
619. - And, uh...
- We plundered!Copy !req
620. Plundered!Copy !req
621. - And, uh...
- Pruned!Copy !req
622. Pruned the, uh...Copy !req
623. - the hedges...
- Hedges...Copy !req
624. - Of many small villages!
- Of many small villages.Copy !req
625. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
626. Another one
of the goddamn gringos.Copy !req
627. Take this monkey away!
Put him with the other Yankee maricón.Copy !req
628. What is happening around here today?
Are gringos falling from the sky?Copy !req
629. Yes, El Guapo.Copy !req
630. Now we have all the Amigos.
Take them away.Copy !req
631. One moment, please.Copy !req
632. - I know who this man is.
- You do?Copy !req
633. Yes, it is Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
634. Who?Copy !req
635. You... You...Copy !req
636. You...Copy !req
637. You are my favorite star
of the silver screen!Copy !req
638. Really?Copy !req
639. In Germany, the cinema is very popular!
I have seen all of your films.Copy !req
640. Including when you were known as
Little Neddy Knickers.Copy !req
641. Well, that was a long time ago.Copy !req
642. It was this man who inspired me
to learn the art of the quick draw.Copy !req
643. I looked up to this man.
I studied his every move.Copy !req
644. It was my dream
to be as fast as Ned Nederlander.Copy !req
645. I practiced every clay
for hours and hours.Copy !req
646. He was a god to me!Copy !req
647. A god?
Well, I don't know about that.Copy !req
648. But it is nice to meet a fan.
You know, often I think...Copy !req
649. Then, I found out about movie tricks.
Trick photography. I was crushed!Copy !req
650. - I never used trick photography.
- That is impossible.Copy !req
651. No one can be as fast
as you appear to be.Copy !req
652. I am that fast.Copy !req
653. - We shall see.
- Happy to.Copy !req
654. Does anybody have a watch,
preferably one with a second hand?Copy !req
655. - I got a stopwatch.
- No stopwatch.Copy !req
656. As you Americans say,
"We will play for keeps."Copy !req
657. Give me back his gun.Copy !req
658. Leave him here.Copy !req
659. He might like
to see his friend die.Copy !req
660. I've seen it.Copy !req
661. You don't understand...
I don't shoot at people.Copy !req
662. You see,
it's against my upbringing.Copy !req
663. Call it etiquette, whatever.
You know, I was thinking...Copy !req
664. I've waited for years
for this moment.Copy !req
665. You wanna die
with a man's gun...Copy !req
666. not a little sissy gun like this.Copy !req
667. Enough!
Take the gun! Let's go!Copy !req
668. - I have had enough of these Yankees!
- Not so fast, El Guapo!Copy !req
669. Or I'll fill you so full of lead,
you'll be using your click for a pencil!Copy !req
670. - What do you mean?
- I don't know!Copy !req
671. - I think he means that if you...
- Shut up!Copy !req
672. So, you thought
you could outsmart the Amigos.Copy !req
673. Well, not this time.
Dusty, cover El Guapo!Copy !req
674. Now, everybody,
throw down your guns.Copy !req
675. Do as he says!Copy !req
676. - Not you, DUSTY!
- Sorry.Copy !req
677. Okay, now, everybody lay down
and put your hands behind your head.Copy !req
678. Ned, open the gates!Copy !req
679. And don't try to touch
those guns!Copy !req
680. Kill them!Copy !req
681. Hurry up! Hurry up!Copy !req
682. Ride, Amigos, ride!Copy !req
683. Ned, what luck!
It's a Tubman 601! You can fly one.Copy !req
684. Yeah. Didn't you fly one in
"Little Neddy Goes to War"?Copy !req
685. Well, not exactly.
Actually, my stuntman did.Copy !req
686. But I'm pretty sure
I can remember.Copy !req
687. Ned! Ned! Ned! Ned!Copy !req
688. Oh, God, Ned!
Oh, God!Copy !req
689. Oh, my God!Copy !req
690. - So long, El Guapo!
- I will see you in Santa Poco!Copy !req
691. Santo Poco!Copy !req
692. Ned, land!Copy !req
693. Hold it!Copy !req
694. El Guapo is on his way.Copy !req
695. Someday the people of this village
will have to face El Guapo.Copy !req
696. We might as well do it now.Copy !req
697. In a way, all of us
have an El Guapo to face someday.Copy !req
698. For some,
shyness might be their El Guapo.Copy !req
699. For others, a lack of education
might be their El Guapo.Copy !req
700. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy
who wants to kill us.Copy !req
701. But as sure as my name
is Lucky Day,Copy !req
702. the people of Santa Poco
can conquer their own personal El Guapo...Copy !req
703. who also happens to be
the actual El Guapo!Copy !req
704. We want to defend ourselves.
But how?Copy !req
705. By using the skills and the talents
of the people of Santa Poco!Copy !req
706. This is not a town of weaklings.Copy !req
707. You can turn your skills
against El Guapo.Copy !req
708. Now, what is it
that this town really does well?Copy !req
709. - We can sew.
- There you go! You can sew!Copy !req
710. - If only we had known this earlier!
- Ned, Dusty.Copy !req
711. Sewing...Copy !req
712. Remember our film,
"Amigos, Amigos, Amigos"?Copy !req
713. - Yes...
- Remember what we did in that movie?Copy !req
714. - Do you think it could work?
- It's got to work.Copy !req
715. It's our only hope.Copy !req
716. Sew, very old one.
Sew like the wind.Copy !req
717. Okay, dig here.Copy !req
718. Where are you?Copy !req
719. There they are, El Guapo!Copy !req
720. Now they're over there,
El Guapo.Copy !req
721. Now they're over there!Copy !req
722. Shoot them!Copy !req
723. They're over there!Copy !req
724. - Now they're over there!
- Now they're over here!Copy !req
725. What the hell
is happening around here?Copy !req
726. Shoot, shoot!Copy !req
727. Now they're over there,
on top of the church!Copy !req
728. El Guapo,
they are everywhere!Copy !req
729. They're over there, too!Copy !req
730. Come back, you cowards!Copy !req
731. You traitors!Copy !req
732. I'm still here, El Guapo!Copy !req
733. You stupid horse!Copy !req
734. That was some good trick.Copy !req
735. Come closer.
I have something to tell you.Copy !req
736. That was a good trick, too!Copy !req
737. I'm gonna miss you,
señor Dusty.Copy !req
738. I'm gonna miss you, too, Pablo.Copy !req
739. Here.Copy !req
740. I want you to have my watch.Copy !req
741. I wanna go with you.Copy !req
742. No, no, no, Pablo,
there's still much to be done here.Copy !req
743. Your village needs you.
And your family needs you.Copy !req
744. We are men without homes.Copy !req
745. We were meant to wander.Copy !req
746. You will always have a home
here with us in Santa Poco.Copy !req
747. Goodbye, Dusty.Copy !req
748. You have done
what you said you would do.Copy !req
749. Long will the memory of the Three Amigos
live in the hearts of the people of Santa Poco.Copy !req
750. I'll come back one clay.Copy !req
751. Why?Copy !req
752. Well, I thought
that maybe you and I could...Copy !req
753. Let's ride!Copy !req
754. We are proud
to give you all that we have.Copy !req
755. Here, I'll take that.Copy !req
756. Our reward is
that justice has been done.Copy !req
757. And remember, wherever there is injustice,
you will find us.Copy !req
758. Wherever there is suffering,
we'll be there.Copy !req
759. Wherever liberty is threatened,
you will find...Copy !req
760. the Three Amigos!Copy !req
761. Let's ride!Copy !req
762. Let's ride!Copy !req
763. Whoa, horsie!Copy !req
764. One for each other and all for oneCopy !req
765. The three brave amigos are weCopy !req
766. Brother to brother and everyoneCopy !req
767. A brave amigoCopy !req
768. Wherever they need us,
our destinies lead usCopy !req
769. Amigos, we're always togetherCopy !req
770. Wherever we go,
we're three brave amigosCopy !req
771. And will be amigos foreverCopy !req
772. We are the Three AmigosCopy !req
773. We are the Three...Copy !req
774. A...Copy !req
775. migos!Copy !req
776. And amigos forever we'll beCopy !req