1. Do Not Forget To Give Ratings.
@shahriarxyz3
1
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2. Now, I know what you're thinking.
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3. "Oh, no! Thor's in a cage.
How did this happen?"
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4. Well, sometimes you have to get captured
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5. just to get a straight answer
out of somebody.
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6. It's a long story,
but basically, I'm a bit of a hero.
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7. See, I spent some time on Earth...
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8. Fought some robots,
saved the planet a couple of times.
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9. Then I went searching through the cosmos
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10. for some magic,
colorful Infinity Stone things.
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11. Didn't find any.
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12. That's when I came across
a path of death and destruction,
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13. which led me all the way here
into this cage,
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14. where I met you.
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15. How much longer do you think
we'll be here?
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16. Thor, son of Odin.
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17. Surtur, son of a bitch.
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18. You're still alive.
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19. I thought my father killed you
a half a million years ago.
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20. I cannot die.
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21. Not until I fulfill my destiny
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22. and lay waste to your home.
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23. It's funny you should mention that.
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24. Because I've been having these
terrible dreams of late.
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25. Asgard up in flames, falling to ruins.
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26. And you, Surtur,
are at the center of all of them.
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27. Then you have seen Ragnarok,
the fall of Asgard.
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28. - The great prophecy...
- Hang on.
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29. Hang on.
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30. I'll be back around shortly.
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31. I really feel like
we were connecting there.
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32. Okay, so Ragnarok.
Tell me about that. Walk me through it.
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33. My time has come.
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34. When my crown is reunited
with the Eternal Flame,
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35. I shall be restored to my full might.
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36. I will tower over the mountains,
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37. and bury my sword deep in Asgard's...
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38. Hang on. Give it a second.
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39. I swear, I'm not even moving.
It's just doing this on its own.
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40. I'm really sorry.
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41. Okay, so let me get this straight.
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42. You're going to put your crown
into the Eternal Flame
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43. and then you'll suddenly grow as big
as a house?
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44. A mountain!
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45. The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps
locked away on Asgard?
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46. Odin is not on Asgard.
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47. And your absence has left the throne
defenseless.
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48. Okay, so where is it? This crown?
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49. This is my crown,
the source of my power.
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50. Oh, that's a crown.
I thought it was a big eyebrow.
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51. It's a crown.
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52. Anyway, it sounds like
all I have to do to stop Ragnarok
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53. is rip that thing off your head.
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54. But Ragnarok has already begun.
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55. You cannot stop it.
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56. I am Asgard's doom, and so are you.
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57. All will suffer, all will burn.
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58. That's intense.
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59. To be honest,
seeing you grow really big
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60. and set fire to a planet
would be quite the spectacle.
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61. But it looks like I'm gonna have to
choose option B,
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62. where I bust out of these chains,
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63. knock that tiara off your head,
and stash it away in Asgard's vault.
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64. You cannot stop Ragnarok.
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65. Why fight it?
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66. Because that's what heroes do.
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67. Wait, I'm sorry.
I didn't time that right.
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68. And, now!
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69. You have made a grave mistake, Odinson.
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70. I make grave mistakes all the time.
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71. Everything seems to work out.
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72. Heimdall, I know it's been a while,
but I could really use a fast exit.
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73. Heimdall?
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74. Heimdall was an idiot.
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75. This job should have made him rich.
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76. Now, the job ain't easy
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77. but it does have its benefits.
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78. The Bifrost gives me access to
everything the Nine Realms has to offer.
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79. I mean, it's all mine for the taking.
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80. Behold...
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81. My stuff.
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82. I'm particularly fond of these.
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83. I pulled them out of a place on Midgard
called Texas.
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84. I even named them. Des and Troy.
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85. You see, when you put them together,
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86. they destroy.
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87. Heimdall, come on.
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88. Stay!
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89. Heimdall?
I'm running short on options.
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90. Heimdall?
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91. Skurge?
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92. Is that important?
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93. You girls are in for a treat.
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94. Girls!
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95. Well, well, well.
Look who decided to pop in.
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96. Thanks for scaring away my company
and drenching my workplace in brains.
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97. Who are you?
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98. Don't you remember? I'm Skurge.
We fought together on Vanaheim.
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99. Right. Where is Heimdall?
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100. That traitor. No one knows.
He's a fugitive of the throne.
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101. Traitor?
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102. Yeah. You see, Odin charged Heimdall
with negligence of duty
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103. but he disappeared before the trial.
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104. Hard to catch a guy who can see
everything in the universe.
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105. Sure.
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106. Hold on.
I'm supposed to announce your arrival.
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107. What the hell is that?
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108. Oh, brother. This is it.
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109. I take my leave.
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110. You fool, you didn't listen!
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111. I'm sorry.
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112. Lady Sif, get help!
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113. Somebody, help!
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114. Sorry for all I've done.
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115. It's all right. Hold on.
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116. I'm sorry I tried to rule Earth.
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117. They'd be lucky to have you.
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118. I'm sorry about that thing
with the Tesseract.
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119. - I just couldn't help myself.
- I know.
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120. I'm a trickster.
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121. So mischievous.
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122. Sorry about that time I turned you
into a frog.
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123. It was a wonderful joke.
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124. 'Twas indeed hilarious.
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125. You are the savior of Asgard.
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126. - Tell my story.
- I will.
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127. Build a statue for me.
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128. We will build a big statue for you.
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129. With my helmet on,
with the big bendy horns.
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130. I will tell Father
what you did here today.
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131. I didn't do it for him.
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132. I didn't do it for him.
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133. No!
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134. And so, Loki died of his wounds,
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135. giving his life for ours.
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136. He fought back those disgusting elves,
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137. he brought peace to the realm.
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138. Loki, my boy...
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139. 'Twas many moons ago I found you
on that frostbitten battlefield.
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140. On that day,
I did not yet see in you
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141. Asgard's savior. No.
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142. You were merely
a little blue baby icicle
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143. that melted this old fool's heart.
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144. Bravo! Bravo! Well done. Bravo.
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145. Father.
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146. Shit.
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147. My son, Thor, has returned!
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148. Greetings, my boy.
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149. It's an interesting play.
What's it called?
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150. The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard.
The people wanted to commemorate him.
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151. Indeed they should.
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152. I like the statue.
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153. A lot better looking than he was
when he was alive, though.
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154. A little less weaselly, less greasy,
maybe.
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155. Do you know what this is?
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156. The skull of Surtur.
That's a formidable weapon!
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157. Do me a favor.
Lock this away in a vault
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158. so it doesn't turn into a giant monster
and destroy the whole planet.
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159. Thank you, dear.
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160. So it's back to Midgard for you, is it?
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161. Nope.
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162. I've been having this reoccurring dream
lately.
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163. Every night,
I see Asgard fall into ruins.
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164. That's just a silly dream,
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165. signs of an overactive imagination.
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166. Possibly.
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167. But then I decide to go out there
and investigate.
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168. And what do I find,
but the Nine Realms completely in chaos.
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169. Enemies of Asgard assembling,
plotting our demise,
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170. all while you, Odin,
the protector of those Nine Realms,
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171. are sitting here in your bathrobe,
eating grapes.
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172. Yes, it is best
to respect our neighbors' freedom.
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173. Yes, of course,
the freedom to be massacred.
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174. Yes, besides I've been
rather busy myself.
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175. Watching theater.
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176. Board meetings,
and security council meetings...
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177. - You're really gonna make me do it?
- Do what?
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178. You know that nothing will stop Mjolnir
as it returns to my hand.
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179. Not even your face.
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180. You've gone quite mad.
You'll be executed for this.
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181. Then I'll see you on the other side,
brother.
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182. All right, I yield.
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183. Behold!
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184. Thor...
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185. - Odinson.
- No.
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186. You had one job. Just the one.
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187. Where's Odin?
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188. You just couldn't stay away, could you?
Everything was fine without you.
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189. Asgard was prospering.
You've ruined everything.
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190. - Ask them.
- Where's Father? Did you kill him?
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191. You had what you wanted.
You had the independence you asked for.
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192. Okay. I know exactly where he is.
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193. I swear I left him right here.
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194. Right here on the sidewalk, or right there
where the building is being demolished?
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195. Great planning.
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196. How was I supposed to know?
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197. Can't see into the future.
I'm not a witch.
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198. No? Then why do you dress like one?
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199. - Hey.
- I can't believe you're alive.
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200. I saw you die.
I mourned you, I cried for you.
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201. I'm honored.
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202. Ask him.
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203. Hi. Would you mind taking a picture
with us?
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204. Sure.
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205. Start figuring out where he is.
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206. Oh, my God.
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207. Sorry to hear that Jane dumped you.
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208. She didn't dump me, you know.
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209. I dumped her. It was a mutual dumping.
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210. What's this? What are you doing?
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211. This isn't me.
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212. Loki.
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213. Thor Odinson.
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214. God of Thunder.
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215. You can put down the umbrella.
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216. So, Earth has wizards now?
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217. The preferred term is
"Master of the Mystic Arts."
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218. You can leave that now.
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219. All right, wizard. Who are you?
Why should I care?
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220. My name is Doctor Stephen Strange,
and I have some questions for you.
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221. Take a seat.
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222. Tea?
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223. I don't drink tea.
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224. What do you drink?
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225. Not tea.
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226. So, I keep a watch list of individuals
and beings from other realms
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227. that may be a threat to this world.
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228. Your adopted brother, Loki,
is one of those beings.
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229. He's a worthy inclusion.
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230. Then why bring him here?
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231. We're looking for my father.
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232. So, if I were to tell you
where Odin was,
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233. all parties concerned
would promptly return to Asgard?
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234. Promptly.
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235. Great! Then I'll help you.
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236. If you knew where he was,
why didn't you call me?
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237. I have to tell you, he was adamant
that he not be disturbed.
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238. Your father said he had chosen
to remain in exile.
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239. And you don't have a phone.
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240. No, I don't have a phone,
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241. but you could have sent an electronic
letter. It's called an email.
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242. - Yeah, do you have a computer?
- No. What for?
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243. Anyway, my father is no longer in exile.
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244. So if you could tell me where he is,
I can take him home.
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245. Gladly. He's in Norway.
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246. I'm just seeing whether this incantation
requires any Asgardian modifications.
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247. Nope.
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248. We don't need that.
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249. Will you stop doing that?
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250. I need just one strand of your hair.
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251. Let me explain something.
My hair is not to be meddled with.
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252. We could have just walked.
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253. He's waiting for you.
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254. All right.
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255. Don't forget your umbrella.
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256. Yes.
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257. Sorry.
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258. There we go.
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259. I suppose I'll need my brother back.
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260. Yeah. Right.
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261. I have been falling for 30 minutes!
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262. You can handle him from here.
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263. Yes. Of course.
Thank you very much for your help.
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264. Good luck.
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265. Handle me? Who are you?
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266. Loki.
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267. You think you're some kind of sorcerer?
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268. Don't think for one minute,
you second-rate...
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269. Bye-bye.
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270. Father?
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271. Look at this place. It's beautiful.
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272. Father, it's us.
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273. My sons.
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274. I've been waiting for you.
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275. I know. We've come to take you home.
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276. Home, yes.
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277. Your mother, she calls me.
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278. Do you hear it?
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279. Loki, lift your magic.
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280. Took me quite a while
to break free from your spell.
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281. Frigga would have been proud.
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282. Come and sit with me.
I don't have much time.
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283. I know we failed you.
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284. But we can make this right.
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285. I failed you.
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286. It is upon us. Ragnarok.
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287. No, I've stopped Ragnarok.
I put an end to Surtur.
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288. No.
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289. It has already begun. She's coming.
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290. My life was all that held her back.
But my time has come.
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291. I cannot keep her away any longer.
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292. Father, who are you talking about?
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293. Goddess of Death. Hela.
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294. My firstborn.
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295. Your sister.
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296. Your what?
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297. Her violent appetites
grew beyond my control.
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298. I couldn't stop her, so I imprisoned her.
Locked her away.
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299. She draws her strength from Asgard,
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300. and once she gets there,
her powers will be limitless.
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301. Whatever she is, we can stop her together.
We can face her together.
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302. No, we won't.
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303. I'm on a different path now.
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304. This you must face alone.
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305. I love you, my sons.
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306. Look at that.
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307. Remember this place.
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308. Home.
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309. Brother.
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310. This was your doing.
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311. So he's gone.
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312. That's a shame.
I would've liked to have seen that.
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313. You must be Hela.
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314. I'm Thor, son of Odin.
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315. Really? You don't look like him.
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316. Perhaps we can come to an arrangement.
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317. You sound like him.
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318. Kneel.
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319. Beg your pardon?
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320. Kneel.
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321. Before your queen.
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322. I don't think so.
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323. It's not possible.
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324. Darling, you have no idea
what's possible.
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325. Bring us back!
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326. No!
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327. Loki!
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328. Who are you?
What have you done with Thor?
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329. I'm Hela.
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330. I'm just a janitor.
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331. You look like a smart boy
with good survival instincts.
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332. How would you like a job?
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333. Are you a fighter?
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334. Or are you food?
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335. I'm just passing through.
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336. It is food.
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337. On your knees.
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338. He's mine.
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339. Wait!
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340. Wait!
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341. He's mine.
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342. So if you want him, you go through me.
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343. But we've already got him.
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344. All right, then.
I guess I go through you.
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345. More food.
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346. Thank you.
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347. Scrapper 142. I need clearance
and an audience with the boss.
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348. I've got something special.
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349. Hey! Where are you taking me?
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350. Answer me!
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351. Hey!
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352. I am Thor, son of Odin.
I need to get back to Asgard.
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353. Many apologies, your majesty.
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354. It's come to my attention
that you don't know who I am.
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355. I am Hela, Odin's firstborn,
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356. the commander
of the Legions of Asgard,
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357. the rightful heir to the throne,
and the Goddess of Death.
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358. My father is dead.
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359. As are the princes.
You're welcome.
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360. We were once the seat
of absolute power in the cosmos.
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361. Our supremacy was unchallenged.
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362. Yet Odin stopped at Nine Realms.
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363. Our destiny is to rule over all others.
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364. And I am here to restore that power.
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365. Kneel before me
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366. and rise into the ranks
of my great conquest.
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367. Whoever you are,
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368. whatever you've done, surrender now!
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369. Or we will show you no mercy.
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370. Whoever I am?
Did you listen to a word I said?
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371. This is your last warning!
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372. I thought you'd be happy to see me.
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373. Fine.
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374. Charge!
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375. I've missed this.
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376. Still, it's a shame.
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377. Good soldiers dying for nothing,
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378. all because
they couldn't see the future.
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379. Sad.
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380. Look, still alive.
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381. Change of heart?
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382. Go back to whatever cave
you crept out of.
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383. You evil demoness!
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384. Let's go see my palace.
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385. Fear not, for you are found.
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386. You are home,
and there is no going back.
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387. No one leaves this place.
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388. But what is this place?
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389. The answer is Sakaar.
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390. Surrounded by cosmic gateways,
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391. Sakaar lives on the edge
of the known and unknown.
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392. It is the collection point
for all lost and unloved things.
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393. Like you.
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394. But here on Sakaar, you are significant.
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395. You are valuable.
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396. Here you are loved.
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397. What the hell?
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398. And no one loves you more
than the Grandmaster.
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399. He is the original,
the first lost and the first found.
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400. The creator of Sakaar,
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401. and father of the Contest of Champions.
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402. Where once you were nothing,
now you are something.
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403. You are the property of the Grandmaster.
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404. Congratulations!
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405. You will meet the Grandmaster
in five seconds.
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406. Prepare yourself.
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407. Prepare yourself.
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408. You are now meeting the Grandmaster.
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409. He's wonderful.
It is a he?
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410. It is a he.
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411. Yeah.
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412. I love when you come to visit, 142.
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413. You bring me the best stuff.
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414. Whenever we get to talking, Topaz,
about Scrapper 142,
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415. what do I always say? "She is the..."
And it starts with a "B."
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416. Trash.
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417. No, not trash.
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418. Were you waiting just to call her that?
It doesn't start with a "B."
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419. Booze hag.
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420. I'm so sorry. No, "best."
I was thinking about "best."
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421. 'Cause I always say you're the best.
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422. She brought me my beloved champion,
you know.
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423. You say that every time she's here.
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424. What have you brought today? Tell me.
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425. A contender.
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426. A what?
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427. I need to go closer.
I want to get a closer look at this.
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428. Can you take us closer? Thank you.
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429. Pay this lady.
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430. Just wait a damn minute.
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431. I'm not for sale.
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432. Man, he's a fighter.
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433. I take 10 million.
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434. Tell her she's dreaming.
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435. For heaven's sakes, transfer the units.
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436. You'll pay for this.
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437. No, I got paid for this.
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438. Here's what I wanna know.
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439. Who are you?
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440. I am the God of Thunder.
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441. I didn't hear any thunder, but out of your
fingers, was that sparkles?
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442. We've located your cousin.
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443. Good!
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444. Yeah, come on.
I think you're gonna like this.
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445. There he is.
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446. Hey, cuz.
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447. We almost couldn't find you.
What, you been hiding?
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448. Hi.
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449. So...
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450. Please.
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451. I'm sorry.
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452. Yeah.
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453. Carlo...
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454. I pardon you.
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455. Thank you.
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456. Thank you.
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457. You're officially pardoned.
From life.
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458. Help me.
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459. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
460. I'm stepping in it.
I'm stepping in it. Look!
Copy !req
461. The smell.
Copy !req
462. What does it smell like?
Copy !req
463. Burnt toast.
Copy !req
464. What happened to my manners?
Copy !req
465. I haven't properly introduced myself.
Copy !req
466. Come on. Follow me.
Copy !req
467. My name is Grandmaster.
Copy !req
468. I preside over a little harlequinade
called the Contest of Champions.
Copy !req
469. People come from far and wide
to unwillingly participate in it.
Copy !req
470. And you, my friend,
might just be part of the new cast.
Copy !req
471. What do you say to that?
Copy !req
472. We're not friends and I don't give a shit
about your games.
Copy !req
473. I'm going back to Asgard.
Copy !req
474. Ass-gard.
Copy !req
475. One, two, three, four.
Copy !req
476. There was a wormhole
in space and time beneath me.
Copy !req
477. At that moment, I let go.
Copy !req
478. Loki?
Copy !req
479. Loki! Loki!
Copy !req
480. Over here. Over here.
Copy !req
481. - Excuse me one second.
- Loki!
Copy !req
482. - What?
- You're alive?
Copy !req
483. - Yes, of course I'm alive.
- What are you doing here?
Copy !req
484. What do you mean, what am I doing?
I'm stuck in this stupid chair.
Copy !req
485. - Where's your chair?
- I didn't get a chair.
Copy !req
486. - Get me out of this one. Get me out.
- I can't.
Copy !req
487. - I can't.
- What?
Copy !req
488. I've made friends with this man.
He's called the Grandmaster.
Copy !req
489. - He's crazy!
- I've gained his favor.
Copy !req
490. The Bifrost brought me out here
weeks ago.
Copy !req
491. - Weeks ago?
- Yes.
Copy !req
492. I just got here.
Copy !req
493. What are you whispering about?
Copy !req
494. Time works real different
around these parts.
Copy !req
495. On any other world, I'd be, like,
millions of years old.
Copy !req
496. But here on Sakaar...
Copy !req
497. In any case, you know this...
Copy !req
498. You call yourself Lord of Thunder?
Copy !req
499. God of Thunder.
Tell him.
Copy !req
500. I've never met this man in my life.
Copy !req
501. - He's my brother.
- Adopted.
Copy !req
502. Is he any kind of a fighter?
Copy !req
503. You take this thing out of my neck
and I'll show you.
Copy !req
504. Now, listen to that.
He's threatening me.
Copy !req
505. Hey, Sparkles, here's the deal.
Copy !req
506. If you wanna get back to Ass-place,
Assberg...
Copy !req
507. Asgard.
Copy !req
508. Any contender who defeats my champion,
Copy !req
509. their freedom they shall win.
Copy !req
510. Fine. Then point me in the direction
of whoever's ass I have to kick!
Copy !req
511. That's what I call, contender.
Copy !req
512. Direction would be this way, Lord.
Copy !req
513. Loki!
Copy !req
514. Hey. Take it easy, man.
Copy !req
515. Over here.
Copy !req
516. The pile of rocks waving at you. Here.
Copy !req
517. Yeah, I'm actually a thing. I'm a being.
Copy !req
518. Allow me to introduce myself.
Copy !req
519. My name is Korg.
I'm kind of like the leader in here.
Copy !req
520. I'm made of rocks, as you can see.
But don't let that intimidate you.
Copy !req
521. You don't need to be afraid
unless you're made of scissors.
Copy !req
522. Just a little rock-paper-scissor joke
for you.
Copy !req
523. This is my very good friend over here,
Miek.
Copy !req
524. He's an insect and has knives for hands.
Copy !req
525. You're a Kronan, aren't you?
Copy !req
526. - That I am.
- How'd you end up in here?
Copy !req
527. Well, I tried to start a revolution,
but didn't print enough pamphlets.
Copy !req
528. So hardly anyone turned up, except for
my mum and her boyfriend, who I hate.
Copy !req
529. As punishment, I was forced
to be in here and become a gladiator.
Copy !req
530. Bit of a promotional disaster, that one.
Copy !req
531. But I'm actually organizing
another revolution.
Copy !req
532. I don't know if you'd be interested
in something like that.
Copy !req
533. Do you reckon you'd be interested?
Copy !req
534. How did you...
Copy !req
535. Yeah, no. This whole thing is a circle.
Copy !req
536. But not a real circle,
more like a freaky circle.
Copy !req
537. - This doesn't make any sense.
- No, nothing makes sense here, man.
Copy !req
538. The only thing that does make sense
is that nothing makes sense.
Copy !req
539. Has anyone here fought
the Grandmaster's champion?
Copy !req
540. Doug has.
Copy !req
541. Doug!
Copy !req
542. Our luck, Doug's dead.
Copy !req
543. That's right.
Copy !req
544. Everyone who fights
the Grandmaster's champion perishes.
Copy !req
545. What about you? You're made of rocks.
Copy !req
546. Perishable rock.
There you go. Another one gone.
Copy !req
547. Yeah, no, I just do the smaller fights,
warm up the crowd and whatnot.
Copy !req
548. Wait. You're not gonna face him,
are you?
Copy !req
549. Yes, I am.
Copy !req
550. Gonna fight him, win,
and get the hell out of this place.
Copy !req
551. That's exactly what Doug used to say.
Copy !req
552. See you later, new Doug.
Copy !req
553. Does no one remember me?
Copy !req
554. Has no one been taught our history?
Copy !req
555. Look at these lies.
Copy !req
556. Goblets and garden parties?
Copy !req
557. Peace treaties?
Copy !req
558. Odin...
Copy !req
559. Proud to have it,
Copy !req
560. ashamed of how he got it.
Copy !req
561. We were unstoppable.
Copy !req
562. I was his weapon in the conquest
that built Asgard's empire.
Copy !req
563. One by one, the realms became ours.
Copy !req
564. But then,
simply because my ambition outgrew his,
Copy !req
565. he banished me, caged me,
locked me away like an animal.
Copy !req
566. Before that,
Asgard's warriors were honored,
Copy !req
567. their bodies buried as heroes
beneath this very palace.
Copy !req
568. - Odin's treasures.
- Fake.
Copy !req
569. Most of the stuff in here is fake.
Copy !req
570. Or weak.
Copy !req
571. Smaller than I thought it would be.
Copy !req
572. That's not bad.
Copy !req
573. But this...
Copy !req
574. The Eternal Flame.
Copy !req
575. Want to see what true power
really looks like?
Copy !req
576. Fenris, my darling,
what have they done to you?
Copy !req
577. With the Eternal Flame, you are reborn.
Copy !req
578. I've missed you.
Copy !req
579. I've missed you all.
Copy !req
580. Odin,
Copy !req
581. I bid you take your place
in the halls of Valhalla,
Copy !req
582. where the brave shall live forever.
Copy !req
583. Nor shall we mourn but rejoice,
Copy !req
584. for those that have died
the glorious death.
Copy !req
585. Hurts, doesn't it?
Copy !req
586. Being lied to.
Copy !req
587. Being told you're one thing
and then learning it's all a fiction.
Copy !req
588. You didn't think
I'd really come and see you, did you?
Copy !req
589. This place is disgusting.
Copy !req
590. Does this mean you don't want my help?
Copy !req
591. Look, I couldn't jeopardize my position
with the Grandmaster.
Copy !req
592. It took me time to win his trust.
He's a lunatic, but he can be amenable.
Copy !req
593. What I'm telling you is, you could
join me at the Grandmaster's side.
Copy !req
594. Perhaps, in time, an accident befalls
the Grandmaster, and then...
Copy !req
595. You're not seriously thinking
of going back, are you?
Copy !req
596. Our sister destroyed your hammer
like a piece of glass.
Copy !req
597. She's stronger than both of us.
She's stronger than you.
Copy !req
598. You don't stand a chance.
Copy !req
599. Do you understand
what I'm saying here?
Copy !req
600. Fine.
Copy !req
601. I guess I'll just have to go it alone.
Copy !req
602. Like I've always done.
Copy !req
603. Would you say something?
Copy !req
604. Say something!
Copy !req
605. What would you like me to say?
Copy !req
606. You faked your own death,
Copy !req
607. you stole the throne,
stripped Odin of his power,
Copy !req
608. stranded him on Earth to die,
releasing the Goddess of Death.
Copy !req
609. Have I said enough or would you like me
to go back further than the past two days?
Copy !req
610. You know, I haven't seen this
beloved champion he talks of,
Copy !req
611. but I've heard
he is astonishingly savage.
Copy !req
612. I've placed a large wager against you
tomorrow.
Copy !req
613. Don't let me down.
Copy !req
614. Piss off, ghost!
Copy !req
615. He's freaking gone.
Copy !req
616. Yuck!
Copy !req
617. There's still someone's hair and blood
all over this.
Copy !req
618. Guys, can you clean up the weapons
once you finish your fight?
Copy !req
619. Disgusting slobs.
Copy !req
620. Thor,
Copy !req
621. wanna use a big wooden fork?
Copy !req
622. No.
Copy !req
623. Yeah, not really useful.
Copy !req
624. Unless you're fighting off three vampires
that were huddled together.
Copy !req
625. I really wish I had my hammer.
Copy !req
626. Hammer?
Copy !req
627. Quite unique.
Copy !req
628. It was made from this special metal
from the heart of a dying star.
Copy !req
629. And when I spun it really, really fast,
it gave me the ability to fly.
Copy !req
630. You rode a hammer?
Copy !req
631. No, I didn't ride the hammer.
Copy !req
632. The hammer rode you on your back?
Copy !req
633. No. I used to spin it really fast,
and it would pull me off the...
Copy !req
634. Oh, my God. A hammer pulled you off?
Copy !req
635. The ground. It would pull me off the
ground, up into the air, and I would fly.
Copy !req
636. Every time I threw it,
it would always come back to me.
Copy !req
637. Sounds like you had a pretty special
and intimate relationship with this hammer
Copy !req
638. and that losing it was almost comparable
to losing a loved one.
Copy !req
639. That's a nice way of putting it.
Copy !req
640. I said they're mine.
Copy !req
641. See her,
that's the one that put me in here.
Copy !req
642. Yeah. Scrapper 142.
Copy !req
643. Gotta watch out
for those Asgardians, man.
Copy !req
644. They are hard to perish.
Copy !req
645. Asgardian?
Copy !req
646. Hey.
Copy !req
647. Hey.
Copy !req
648. Hey.
Copy !req
649. Do not zap me with that thing.
I just wanna talk.
Copy !req
650. Asgard is in danger.
Copy !req
651. My God, you're a Valkyrie.
Copy !req
652. I used to wanna be a Valkyrie
when I was younger,
Copy !req
653. until I found out that
you were all women.
Copy !req
654. There's nothing wrong with women,
of course. I love women.
Copy !req
655. Sometimes a little too much.
Copy !req
656. Not in a creepy way,
just more of a respectful appreciation.
Copy !req
657. I think it's great that there is
an elite force of women warriors.
Copy !req
658. It's about time.
Copy !req
659. Are you done?
Copy !req
660. Lord of Thunder, you're up.
Copy !req
661. Please, help me. I need your help.
Copy !req
662. Bye.
Copy !req
663. Fine, then you must be a traitor
or a coward.
Copy !req
664. Because the Valkyrie is sworn to protect
the throne.
Copy !req
665. Listen closely, your majesty.
This is Sakaar, not Asgard.
Copy !req
666. And I'm a Scrapper, not a Valkyrie.
Copy !req
667. Bring him in for processing.
Copy !req
668. And no one escapes this place.
So you're gonna die anyway.
Copy !req
669. Now, don't you move.
Copy !req
670. My hands ain't as steady
as they used to be.
Copy !req
671. By Odin's beard,
you shall not cut my hair,
Copy !req
672. lest you feel the wrath
of the mighty Thor.
Copy !req
673. Please.
Please, kind sir, do not cut my hair.
Copy !req
674. Please! No!
Copy !req
675. No!
Copy !req
676. Look at all of you.
What a show! What a night!
Copy !req
677. Who's having fun?
Copy !req
678. Please, I'm your host.
Copy !req
679. Big round of applause
for all of our undercard competitors,
Copy !req
680. who today died so gruesomely.
Copy !req
681. Good sports.
Copy !req
682. What a show! What a night!
Copy !req
683. This is what you've come for,
and so have I.
Copy !req
684. And now, without further ado,
Copy !req
685. it's main event time.
Copy !req
686. Making his first appearance,
though he looks quite promising,
Copy !req
687. got a couple of tricks up his sleeve.
Copy !req
688. I'll say no more, see what you think.
Copy !req
689. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
Copy !req
690. Lord of Thunder.
Copy !req
691. Watch out for his fingers.
They make sparks.
Copy !req
692. Okay, this is it.
Copy !req
693. Let's get ready to welcome this guy.
Here he comes.
Copy !req
694. He is a creature.
Copy !req
695. What can we say about him?
Copy !req
696. Well, he's unique.
There's none like him.
Copy !req
697. I feel a special connection with him.
Copy !req
698. He's undefeated.
Copy !req
699. He's the reigning.
Copy !req
700. He's the defending.
Copy !req
701. Ladies and gentlemen...
Copy !req
702. I give you...
Copy !req
703. Your Incredible...
Copy !req
704. Hulk!
Copy !req
705. Yes!
Copy !req
706. I have to get off this planet.
Copy !req
707. Hey, hey, hey. Where you going?
Copy !req
708. Hey!
Copy !req
709. We know each other.
Copy !req
710. He's a friend from work.
Copy !req
711. Where have you been?
Copy !req
712. Everybody thought you were dead.
Copy !req
713. But so much has happened
since I last saw you.
Copy !req
714. I lost my hammer.
Copy !req
715. Like, yesterday,
so that's still pretty fresh.
Copy !req
716. Loki. Loki's alive. Can you believe it?
Copy !req
717. He's up there.
Copy !req
718. Loki! Look who it is!
Copy !req
719. Banner,
I never thought I would say this,
Copy !req
720. but I'm happy to see you.
Copy !req
721. Hulk! Hulk! Hulk!
Copy !req
722. Banner.
Copy !req
723. Hey, Banner!
Copy !req
724. No Banner. Only Hulk.
Copy !req
725. What are you doing?
Copy !req
726. It's me. It's Thor!
Copy !req
727. Banner, we're friends.
Copy !req
728. This is crazy.
I don't want to hurt you!
Copy !req
729. Here we go.
Copy !req
730. What?
Copy !req
731. Hey, big guy.
Copy !req
732. The sun's getting real low.
Copy !req
733. That's it.
The sun's going down.
Copy !req
734. I won't hurt you anymore.
Copy !req
735. No one will.
Copy !req
736. Yes!
Copy !req
737. That's how it feels!
Copy !req
738. I'm just a huge fan of the sport.
Copy !req
739. All right. Screw it.
Copy !req
740. I know you're in there, Banner.
I'll get you out!
Copy !req
741. What's the matter with you?
You're embarrassing me!
Copy !req
742. I told them we were friends!
Copy !req
743. Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!
Copy !req
744. Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!
Copy !req
745. Another day, another Doug.
Copy !req
746. What is that noise?
Copy !req
747. The common folk aren't exactly
falling in line.
Copy !req
748. There's a resistance trying to knock down
the front gates.
Copy !req
749. Tell me about yourself, Skurge.
Copy !req
750. Well, me dad was a stonemason.
Me mum was...
Copy !req
751. Right, yeah, I'll just stop you there.
What I meant was,
Copy !req
752. what's your ambition?
Copy !req
753. I just want a chance to prove myself.
Copy !req
754. Recognition.
Copy !req
755. When I was young,
Copy !req
756. every great king had an executioner.
Copy !req
757. Not just to execute people,
Copy !req
758. but also to execute their vision.
Copy !req
759. But mainly to execute people.
Copy !req
760. Still, it was a great honor.
Copy !req
761. I was Odin's executioner.
Copy !req
762. And you shall be my executioner.
Copy !req
763. Let's begin our conquest.
Copy !req
764. Skurge, where's the sword?
Copy !req
765. That sword is the key
to opening the Bifrost.
Copy !req
766. Those people you mentioned,
the ones who aren't falling into line...
Copy !req
767. Round them up.
Copy !req
768. Excuse me.
Copy !req
769. Sorry about that.
These bloody things are everywhere.
Copy !req
770. Come on.
Copy !req
771. You'll be safe here.
Copy !req
772. Are we cool?
Copy !req
773. It's Hulk in a hot tub.
Copy !req
774. So how long
have you been like that?
Copy !req
775. Like what?
Copy !req
776. Like this. Big, and green, and stupid.
Copy !req
777. Hulk always Hulk.
Copy !req
778. How'd you get here?
Copy !req
779. Winning.
Copy !req
780. You mean cheating?
Copy !req
781. Were they wearing one of these
when you won?
Copy !req
782. How'd you arrive here?
Copy !req
783. Quinjet.
Copy !req
784. Yes. Now, where is the Quinjet now?
Copy !req
785. That's naked.
Copy !req
786. He's very naked.
Copy !req
787. It's in my brain now.
Copy !req
788. Quinjet.
Copy !req
789. Yes!
Copy !req
790. I'm getting us out of here.
Copy !req
791. This terrible, awful place.
Copy !req
792. You're gonna love Asgard.
It's big. It's golden. Shiny.
Copy !req
793. Hulk stay.
Copy !req
794. No, no, no. My people need me
to get back to Asgard.
Copy !req
795. We must prevent Ragnarok.
Copy !req
796. Ragnarok?
Copy !req
797. The prophesied death of my home world.
The end of days, it's the end of...
Copy !req
798. If you help me get back to Asgard,
Copy !req
799. I can help you get back to Earth.
Copy !req
800. Earth hate Hulk.
Copy !req
801. Earth loves Hulk. They love you.
Copy !req
802. You're one of the Avengers.
One of the team, one of our friends.
Copy !req
803. This is what friends do.
They support each other.
Copy !req
804. You're Banner's friend.
Copy !req
805. I'm not Banner's friend. I prefer you.
Copy !req
806. Banner's friend.
Copy !req
807. I don't even like Banner.
Copy !req
808. "I'm into numbers and science
and stuff."
Copy !req
809. Thor go. Hulk stay.
Copy !req
810. Fine.
Copy !req
811. Stay here.
Copy !req
812. Stupid place. It's hideous, by the way.
Copy !req
813. The red, the white. Just pick a color.
Ridiculous.
Copy !req
814. Smash you.
Copy !req
815. You didn't smash anything.
I won that fight.
Copy !req
816. - I smashed you.
- Yeah, sure, sure.
Copy !req
817. - Baby arms.
- What?
Copy !req
818. Baby.
Copy !req
819. Moron! You big child.
Copy !req
820. Thor go!
Copy !req
821. I am going.
Copy !req
822. Thor go again.
Copy !req
823. Thor home.
Copy !req
824. Hulk trains.
Copy !req
825. That's great. Have fun.
Copy !req
826. - Hey, big guy.
- Angry girl.
Copy !req
827. What have you been up to?
Copy !req
828. Winning.
Copy !req
829. Heimdall, I know you can see me.
Copy !req
830. I need you to help me.
Copy !req
831. Help me see.
Copy !req
832. I see you, but you're far away.
Copy !req
833. What's going on here?
Copy !req
834. Come see for yourself.
Copy !req
835. I'm providing refuge in a stronghold
built by our ancestors.
Copy !req
836. But if the garrison falls,
our only escape is Bifrost.
Copy !req
837. You're talking about evacuating Asgard?
Copy !req
838. We won't last long if we stay.
Copy !req
839. She draws her power from Asgard
and grows stronger every day.
Copy !req
840. Come on.
Copy !req
841. Hela is ravenous.
Copy !req
842. If I let her leave, she'll consume
Nine Realms and all the cosmos.
Copy !req
843. We need you.
Copy !req
844. I'm working on it. But I don't even know
where the hell I am.
Copy !req
845. You're on a planet surrounded
by doorways. Go through one.
Copy !req
846. - Which one?
- The big one.
Copy !req
847. Thor sad.
Copy !req
848. Shut up.
Copy !req
849. Thor sad.
Copy !req
850. I'm not sad, you idiot.
Copy !req
851. I'm pissed off!
Copy !req
852. Angry. I lost my father.
Copy !req
853. I lost my hammer.
Copy !req
854. - Whining and crying. Cry like baby.
- You're not even listening.
Copy !req
855. Don't kick stuff.
Copy !req
856. You're being a really bad friend.
Copy !req
857. You bad friend!
Copy !req
858. - You know what we call you?
- No.
Copy !req
859. We call you the stupid Avenger.
Copy !req
860. You're tiny Avenger!
Copy !req
861. What, are you crazy?
Copy !req
862. Yes.
Copy !req
863. You know what? Earth does hate you.
Copy !req
864. No.
Copy !req
865. I'm sorry I said those things.
Copy !req
866. You're not the stupid Avenger.
Nobody calls you the stupid Avenger.
Copy !req
867. It's okay.
Copy !req
868. You just can't go around throwing shields
at people. Could have killed me.
Copy !req
869. I know. I'm sorry.
I just get so angry all the time.
Copy !req
870. Hulk always, always angry.
Copy !req
871. I know.
We're the same, you and I.
Copy !req
872. We're just a couple of hot-headed fools.
Copy !req
873. Yeah, same.
Hulk like fire, Thor like water.
Copy !req
874. We're kind of both like fire.
Copy !req
875. But Hulk like real fire.
Copy !req
876. Hulk like raging fire.
Copy !req
877. Thor like smoldering fire.
Copy !req
878. Hulk, I need you to do something for me.
Copy !req
879. Angry girl.
Copy !req
880. What's going on? What are you...
Copy !req
881. You're so thick-headed
that you can't tell
Copy !req
882. when someone's hiding all the way across
the universe and wants to be left alone?
Copy !req
883. - We need to talk.
- No, you wanna talk to me.
Copy !req
884. I need her to stay.
Copy !req
885. Stay?
Copy !req
886. Block.
Copy !req
887. Stay.
Copy !req
888. - Please.
- Please.
Copy !req
889. All right.
Copy !req
890. Here's the deal.
Copy !req
891. I'll listen to you
Copy !req
892. till this is empty.
Copy !req
893. Asgard is in danger and
people are dying.
Copy !req
894. We need to get back there.
I need your help.
Copy !req
895. Finished. Bye.
Copy !req
896. Odin is dead.
Copy !req
897. Hela, the Goddess of Death,
has invaded Asgard.
Copy !req
898. If Hela's back,
then Asgard's already lost.
Copy !req
899. I'm going to stop her.
Copy !req
900. - Alone?
- Nope.
Copy !req
901. I'm putting together a team.
Copy !req
902. It's me, you, and the big guy.
Copy !req
903. No. No team. Only Hulk.
Copy !req
904. It's me and you.
Copy !req
905. I think it's only you.
Copy !req
906. Please, listen.
The Valkyrie are legend.
Copy !req
907. Elite warriors of Asgard
sworn to defend the throne.
Copy !req
908. I'm not getting dragged into
another one of Odin's family squabbles.
Copy !req
909. - What's that supposed to mean?
- Your sister.
Copy !req
910. Her power comes from Asgard,
same as yours.
Copy !req
911. When it grew beyond Odin's control
she massacred everyone in the palace
Copy !req
912. and tried to seize the throne.
Copy !req
913. When she tried
to escape her banishment
Copy !req
914. he sent the Valkyrie in
to fight her back.
Copy !req
915. I only survived because...
Copy !req
916. Look, I already faced her once
back when I believed in the throne,
Copy !req
917. and it cost me everything.
Copy !req
918. That's what's wrong with Asgard.
Copy !req
919. The throne, the secrets,
the whole golden sham.
Copy !req
920. I agree.
Copy !req
921. Don't get familiar.
Copy !req
922. I agree.
Copy !req
923. That's why I turned down the throne.
Copy !req
924. But this isn't about the crown.
This is about the people.
Copy !req
925. They're dying
and they're your people, too.
Copy !req
926. Forget it.
Copy !req
927. I have.
Copy !req
928. - Okay.
- Okay.
Copy !req
929. - Good. Great.
- Great.
Copy !req
930. Thank you.
Copy !req
931. - For what?
- For this.
Copy !req
932. Didn't see that, did you?
Copy !req
933. There... That's better.
Copy !req
934. You know, go ahead.
Copy !req
935. Stay here and enslave people
for that lunatic.
Copy !req
936. Keep drinking, keep hiding.
Copy !req
937. But me...
Copy !req
938. I choose to run toward my problems
and not away from them.
Copy !req
939. Because that's what...
Copy !req
940. Because that's what heroes do.
Copy !req
941. Friend stay!
Copy !req
942. Yes!
Copy !req
943. All right.
Copy !req
944. Come on.
Copy !req
945. Welcome. Voice activation required.
Copy !req
946. Thor.
Copy !req
947. Access denied.
Copy !req
948. Thor, son of Odin.
Copy !req
949. Access denied.
Copy !req
950. God of Thunder.
Copy !req
951. Access denied.
Copy !req
952. Strongest Avenger.
Copy !req
953. Access denied.
Copy !req
954. Strongest Avenger.
Copy !req
955. Access denied.
Copy !req
956. Damn you, Stark.
Copy !req
957. Point Break.
Copy !req
958. Welcome, Point Break.
Copy !req
959. Friend stay!
Copy !req
960. No, no, no!
Copy !req
961. Stop!
Copy !req
962. Stay!
Copy !req
963. Hulk, stop breaking everything!
Copy !req
964. Don't go!
Copy !req
965. Nice work, big guy.
Copy !req
966. We don't know where Ultron's headed,
but you're going very high, very fast.
Copy !req
967. So, I need you to turn this bird around,
okay?
Copy !req
968. We can't track you in stealth mode,
Copy !req
969. so I need you to help me out. Okay?
Copy !req
970. I need you to...
Copy !req
971. No! No, Banner!
Copy !req
972. Oh, jeez.
Copy !req
973. Banner.
Copy !req
974. Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
975. You all right, Banner?
Copy !req
976. Sun's going down. Sun's going down.
Copy !req
977. That's it, breathe.
Copy !req
978. I won't hurt you.
Copy !req
979. Sun's going down.
Copy !req
980. - Thor.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
981. What happened to your hair?
Copy !req
982. Some creepy old man cut it off.
Copy !req
983. - It looks good.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
984. Where are we? How's Nat?
Copy !req
985. - Nat is good, I'm sure.
- Is she okay?
Copy !req
986. - And what about Sokovia?
- Sokovia?
Copy !req
987. The city, Sokovia. Did we save it?
Copy !req
988. - Banner, listen.
- What?
Copy !req
989. Sokovia. Ultron. That was two years ago.
Copy !req
990. What are you saying?
Copy !req
991. What?
Copy !req
992. I've been Hulk for two years?
Copy !req
993. I'm afraid so.
Copy !req
994. What the hell happened?
Copy !req
995. Banner, there's something
you should know.
Copy !req
996. Voice activation required.
Copy !req
997. Banner.
Copy !req
998. Welcome, strongest Avenger.
Copy !req
999. What?
Copy !req
1000. Ship's log.
Copy !req
1001. Thor, where are we?
Copy !req
1002. Yeah, about that.
Copy !req
1003. Sakaar, hear ye.
Attention please. I have some bad news.
Copy !req
1004. My beloved exalted champion
has turned up missing.
Copy !req
1005. Take to the streets.
Celebrate my champion.
Copy !req
1006. Who's that?
Copy !req
1007. He kind of runs the place.
Copy !req
1008. You actually lived at his house
for awhile.
Copy !req
1009. - I did?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1010. Quite a lot's happened.
You and I had a fight recently.
Copy !req
1011. - Did I win?
- No, I won. Easily.
Copy !req
1012. Doesn't sound right.
Copy !req
1013. Well, it's true.
Copy !req
1014. It seems that that criminally seductive
Lord of Thunder has stolen him away.
Copy !req
1015. Seductive God of Thunder.
We need to move.
Copy !req
1016. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1017. This is bad.
Copy !req
1018. This is really, really bad.
Copy !req
1019. Thor, I think I'm freaking out.
Copy !req
1020. No, no, no.
Copy !req
1021. Don't freak out. You're okay.
Put these on.
Copy !req
1022. These are Tony's clothes.
Copy !req
1023. - I know, come on.
- Is he here?
Copy !req
1024. No, he's not here.
But listen. Just stay calm, okay?
Copy !req
1025. The sun's going down. The sun's getting
really low. Sun's going down.
Copy !req
1026. I'm upset!
Copy !req
1027. I'm very upset.
Copy !req
1028. You know what I like about being upset?
The blame.
Copy !req
1029. Right now, that's the mindset that I'm in.
And you know who I'm blaming?
Copy !req
1030. - Grandmaster, I can...
- Hey!
Copy !req
1031. Don't interrupt me!
Copy !req
1032. Here you go.
Copy !req
1033. Why are you handing me
the melt stick?
Copy !req
1034. He was interrupting.
Copy !req
1035. That's not a capital violation.
Copy !req
1036. Where was I?
Copy !req
1037. My precious champion
has come up missing,
Copy !req
1038. and it's all because of that
Lord of Thunder. It's all because of him.
Copy !req
1039. Your brother.
Copy !req
1040. Whatever the story is.
Adopted, or complicated, or you know.
Copy !req
1041. I'm sure there's a big history.
Copy !req
1042. And your contender...
Copy !req
1043. My dear friend,
Copy !req
1044. if you were to give me 12 hours, I could
bring them both back to you. Alive.
Copy !req
1045. I could do it in two.
Copy !req
1046. I could do it in one.
Copy !req
1047. Let's stop there.
Copy !req
1048. You know what? I woke up this morning
thinking about a public execution.
Copy !req
1049. But for now,
I'll settle for this sweet little
Copy !req
1050. "Who's gonna get him first?"
Copy !req
1051. So, you're on the clock.
Copy !req
1052. What have you done?
Copy !req
1053. I don't answer to you, lackey.
Copy !req
1054. It's Loki.
Copy !req
1055. And you will answer to the Grandmaster.
Copy !req
1056. Why would you help my brother escape
with that green fool?
Copy !req
1057. I don't help anyone.
Copy !req
1058. You're a Valkyrie.
Copy !req
1059. I thought the Valkyrie had all died
gruesome deaths.
Copy !req
1060. Choose your next words wisely.
Copy !req
1061. I'm terribly sorry.
Must be a very painful memory.
Copy !req
1062. The sun's going down.
It's getting really low.
Copy !req
1063. The sun's going down.
It's getting real low.
Copy !req
1064. Oh, shoot.
Copy !req
1065. - Sun's getting low.
- Would you stop saying that?
Copy !req
1066. I just need you to stay calm.
Copy !req
1067. Calm? I'm on an alien planet!
Copy !req
1068. It's just a planet.
You've been on a planet before.
Copy !req
1069. Yeah. One.
Copy !req
1070. Now you've been on two.
That's a good thing.
Copy !req
1071. It's a new experience.
Copy !req
1072. My neurons, they're firing faster
than my brain can handle the information.
Copy !req
1073. The whole thing
is totally different this time.
Copy !req
1074. In the past, I always felt like Hulk
and I each had a hand on the wheel.
Copy !req
1075. But this time, it's like he had the keys
to the car and I was locked in the trunk.
Copy !req
1076. All right, well, you're back now.
That's all that matters.
Copy !req
1077. No, it's not what matters.
Copy !req
1078. What I'm trying to tell you, is that
if I turn into the Hulk again,
Copy !req
1079. Banner may never come back.
Copy !req
1080. And we're stranded on a planet
that is designed to stress me out.
Copy !req
1081. We're not stranded. I'm gonna figure out
a way to get us home.
Copy !req
1082. Thank you.
Copy !req
1083. Not your home, though. Asgard.
My home.
Copy !req
1084. What?
Copy !req
1085. Listen, my people are in great danger.
Copy !req
1086. You and I, we have to fight
this really powerful being,
Copy !req
1087. who also happens to be my sister.
Copy !req
1088. Okay, that is so wrong on so many...
Copy !req
1089. I don't wanna fight your sister.
That's a family issue.
Copy !req
1090. No, she's an evil being.
Copy !req
1091. I don't care what she is.
Copy !req
1092. I'm not fighting any more beings.
I'm sick of it.
Copy !req
1093. - What?
- I just told you.
Copy !req
1094. If I turn into the Hulk,
I am never gonna come back again.
Copy !req
1095. And you don't care.
Copy !req
1096. No, no. I'm putting together the team.
Copy !req
1097. The Hulk is the fire.
Copy !req
1098. Wait, you're just using me
to get to the Hulk.
Copy !req
1099. - What? No!
- It's gross.
Copy !req
1100. You don't care about me.
You're not my friend.
Copy !req
1101. No! I don't even like the Hulk.
He's all like...
Copy !req
1102. "Smash, smash, smash."
Copy !req
1103. I prefer you.
Copy !req
1104. Thanks.
Copy !req
1105. But if I'm being honest,
when it comes to fighting evil beings,
Copy !req
1106. he is very powerful and useful.
Copy !req
1107. Yeah, Banner's powerful and useful, too.
Copy !req
1108. Is he though?
Copy !req
1109. How many PhDs
does Hulk have? Zero.
Copy !req
1110. How many PhDs does Banner have?
Seven.
Copy !req
1111. Fine, you don't have to fight anyone.
Copy !req
1112. But we're in danger here,
so we have to move.
Copy !req
1113. What are you doing with that?
Copy !req
1114. I need a disguise. I'm a fugitive.
Copy !req
1115. - I need a disguise.
- You are the disguise.
Copy !req
1116. - I'll be Tony Stark.
- What?
Copy !req
1117. Yeah. Tony and the gypsy.
Copy !req
1118. No, no, you're not Tony.
You're Bruce. Bruce Banner.
Copy !req
1119. Then why did you dress me up
like Tony?
Copy !req
1120. Because you were naked.
Copy !req
1121. Okay, I'll give you that.
Copy !req
1122. What are you doing?
Stop doing that!
Copy !req
1123. Tony wears his pants super tight.
Copy !req
1124. - Stop it!
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1125. - Why are you being so weird?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
1126. Maybe the fact that I was trapped
for two years
Copy !req
1127. inside of a monster
made me a little weird.
Copy !req
1128. Hey. It's okay.
Copy !req
1129. You're good. Calm down. Come on.
Copy !req
1130. Listen, we're gonna go to Asgard
Copy !req
1131. and you're not gonna have to think about
the Hulk ever again. All right?
Copy !req
1132. All right.
Copy !req
1133. This is bad.
Copy !req
1134. Banner! Banner!
Copy !req
1135. Banner!
Copy !req
1136. Banner!
Copy !req
1137. Thor!
Copy !req
1138. Hi.
Copy !req
1139. Hi.
Copy !req
1140. I was gonna do that.
Copy !req
1141. Yeah, well, I did it first.
Copy !req
1142. That's good. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1143. What are you doing here?
I thought you were leaving.
Copy !req
1144. I got sidetracked.
Copy !req
1145. What's with the...
Copy !req
1146. It's my disguise.
Copy !req
1147. But I can see your face.
Copy !req
1148. Not when I do this, you can't.
Copy !req
1149. Your hair looks nice. I like what you did
with it. Change it? Washed it maybe?
Copy !req
1150. What are those things on her eyes?
Are those people that she's killed?
Copy !req
1151. She's so beautiful and strong
and courageous.
Copy !req
1152. Who is this guy?
Copy !req
1153. - He's a friend.
- Who? Me?
Copy !req
1154. - I'm Bruce.
- I feel like I know you.
Copy !req
1155. I feel like I know you, too.
Copy !req
1156. Look, I've spent years in a haze,
trying to forget my past.
Copy !req
1157. Sakaar seemed like the best place
to drink and forget, and to die one day.
Copy !req
1158. I was thinking that you drink too much,
and that probably was gonna kill you.
Copy !req
1159. I don't plan to stop drinking.
Copy !req
1160. But I don't wanna forget.
Copy !req
1161. I can't turn away anymore,
Copy !req
1162. so if I'm gonna die,
Copy !req
1163. well, it may as well be driving my sword
through the heart of that murderous hag.
Copy !req
1164. - Good.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1165. So, I'm saying
that I wanna be on the team.
Copy !req
1166. Has it got a name?
Copy !req
1167. Yeah, it's called the Revengers.
Copy !req
1168. Revengers?
Copy !req
1169. Because I'm getting revenge.
You're getting revenge.
Copy !req
1170. Do you want revenge?
Copy !req
1171. I'm undecided.
Copy !req
1172. Okay.
Copy !req
1173. Also, I've got a peace offering.
Copy !req
1174. Surprise.
Copy !req
1175. Just had to be sure.
Copy !req
1176. Hello, Bruce.
Copy !req
1177. So, last time I saw you,
you were trying to kill everybody.
Copy !req
1178. Where are you at these days?
Copy !req
1179. It varies from moment to moment.
Copy !req
1180. Is that a Dragonfang?
Copy !req
1181. It is.
Copy !req
1182. My God.
Copy !req
1183. This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie.
Copy !req
1184. So, Sakaar and Asgard are about as far
apart as any two known systems.
Copy !req
1185. Our best bet is a wormhole
just outside of city limits.
Copy !req
1186. Refuel on Xandar, and
we can be back in Asgard in 18 months.
Copy !req
1187. Nope. We are going through the big one.
Copy !req
1188. The Devil's Anus?
Copy !req
1189. Anus?
Copy !req
1190. Wait, wait, wait. Whose anus?
Copy !req
1191. For the record, I didn't know
it was called that when I picked it.
Copy !req
1192. That looks like
a collapsing neutron star
Copy !req
1193. inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.
Copy !req
1194. We need another ship.
That will tear mine to pieces.
Copy !req
1195. She's right. We need one that can
Copy !req
1196. withstand the geodetic strain
from the singularity.
Copy !req
1197. And has an offline
power steering system
Copy !req
1198. that could also function
without the on board computer.
Copy !req
1199. And we need one with cup holders,
because we're gonna die. So, drinks!
Copy !req
1200. Do I know you? I feel like I know you.
Copy !req
1201. I feel like I know you, too. It's weird.
Copy !req
1202. What do you say?
Copy !req
1203. Uncharted metagalactic travel
through a volatile cosmic gateway.
Copy !req
1204. Talk about an adventure.
Copy !req
1205. - We need a ship.
- Need a ship.
Copy !req
1206. There are one or two ships.
Absolute top of the line models...
Copy !req
1207. I don't mean to impose...
Copy !req
1208. But the Grandmaster
has a great many ships.
Copy !req
1209. I may even have stolen the access codes
to his security system.
Copy !req
1210. And suddenly you're overcome
with an urge to do the right thing.
Copy !req
1211. Heavens, no.
Copy !req
1212. I've run out of favor
with the Grandmaster,
Copy !req
1213. and in exchange for codes
and access to a ship,
Copy !req
1214. I'm asking for safe passage
through the Anus.
Copy !req
1215. You're telling us that you can get us
access into the garage
Copy !req
1216. without setting off any alarms?
Copy !req
1217. Yes, brother. I can.
Copy !req
1218. Okay, can I just... A quick FYI.
Copy !req
1219. I was just talking to him
just a couple minutes ago
Copy !req
1220. and he was totally ready
to kill any of us.
Copy !req
1221. He did try to kill me.
Copy !req
1222. Yes, me too. On many, many occasions.
Copy !req
1223. There was one time
when we were children,
Copy !req
1224. he transformed himself into a snake,
and he knows that I love snakes.
Copy !req
1225. So, I went to pick up the snake
to admire it,
Copy !req
1226. and he transformed back into himself
and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!"
Copy !req
1227. And he stabbed me.
We were eight at the time.
Copy !req
1228. If we're boosting a ship
Copy !req
1229. we're gonna need to draw some guards
away from the palace.
Copy !req
1230. Why not set the beast loose?
Copy !req
1231. Shut up.
Copy !req
1232. You guys have a beast?
Copy !req
1233. No, there's no beast.
He's just being stupid.
Copy !req
1234. We're going to start a revolution.
Copy !req
1235. - Revolution?
- I'll explain later.
Copy !req
1236. - Who's this guy again?
- I'll explain later.
Copy !req
1237. Is that some sort of protoplasm,
all the stuff that's coming out of you,
Copy !req
1238. or are they eggs?
Copy !req
1239. Looks like eggs.
Copy !req
1240. I'm looking for Korg.
Copy !req
1241. Who's asking?
Copy !req
1242. I know you're asking.
Copy !req
1243. Is there anyone else asking,
or is it just you?
Copy !req
1244. The Lord of Thunder sends his best.
Copy !req
1245. The revolution has begun.
Copy !req
1246. Revolution? How did this happen?
Copy !req
1247. Don't know.
Copy !req
1248. But the arena's mainframe for the
Obedience Disks have been deactivated
Copy !req
1249. and the slaves have armed themselves.
Copy !req
1250. I don't like that word.
Copy !req
1251. Which? Mainframe?
Copy !req
1252. No. Why would I not like "mainframe"?
Copy !req
1253. No, the "S" word.
Copy !req
1254. Sorry, the prisoners with jobs
have armed themselves.
Copy !req
1255. Okay, that's better.
Copy !req
1256. Hey, so, listen. We should talk.
Copy !req
1257. I disagree.
Copy !req
1258. Open communication
was never our family's forte.
Copy !req
1259. You have no idea.
Copy !req
1260. Been quite the revelation
since we last spoke.
Copy !req
1261. Hello.
Copy !req
1262. Hi.
Copy !req
1263. Odin brought us together.
Copy !req
1264. It's almost poetic that his death
should split us apart.
Copy !req
1265. We might as well be strangers now.
Copy !req
1266. Two sons of the crown, set adrift.
Copy !req
1267. Thought you didn't wanna talk about it.
Copy !req
1268. Here's the thing.
Copy !req
1269. I'm probably better off staying here
on Sakaar.
Copy !req
1270. That's exactly what I was thinking.
Copy !req
1271. Did you just agree with me?
Copy !req
1272. Come on, this place is perfect for you.
Copy !req
1273. It's savage, chaotic, lawless...
Copy !req
1274. Brother, you're gonna do great here.
Copy !req
1275. Do you truly think so little of me?
Copy !req
1276. Loki, I thought the world of you.
Copy !req
1277. I thought we were gonna fight
side by side forever.
Copy !req
1278. But at the end of the day,
you're you and I'm me.
Copy !req
1279. I don't know,
maybe there's still good in you.
Copy !req
1280. But let's be honest,
our paths diverged a long time ago.
Copy !req
1281. Yeah.
Copy !req
1282. It's probably for the best
that we never see each other again.
Copy !req
1283. It's what you always wanted.
Copy !req
1284. Hey, let's do "Get Help."
Copy !req
1285. - What?
- "Get Help."
Copy !req
1286. No.
Copy !req
1287. - Come on, you love it.
- I hate it.
Copy !req
1288. - It's great. It works every time.
- It's humiliating.
Copy !req
1289. - Do you have a better plan?
- No.
Copy !req
1290. We're doing it.
Copy !req
1291. We are not doing "Get Help."
Copy !req
1292. Get help! Please!
Copy !req
1293. My brother, he's dying.
Copy !req
1294. Get help! Help him!
Copy !req
1295. Classic.
Copy !req
1296. Still hate it.
Copy !req
1297. - It's humiliating.
- Not for me, it's not.
Copy !req
1298. Now, which one's the ship
she told us to get?
Copy !req
1299. The Commodore.
Copy !req
1300. Right.
Copy !req
1301. Though I feel it won't make
much of a difference.
Copy !req
1302. Loki.
Copy !req
1303. I know I've betrayed you many times
before,
Copy !req
1304. but this time
it's truly nothing personal.
Copy !req
1305. The reward for your capture
will set me up nicely.
Copy !req
1306. Never one for sentiment, were you?
Copy !req
1307. Easier to let it burn.
Copy !req
1308. I agree.
Copy !req
1309. That looks painful.
Copy !req
1310. Dear brother,
you're becoming predictable.
Copy !req
1311. I trust you, you betray me.
Copy !req
1312. Round and round in circles we go.
Copy !req
1313. See, Loki, life is about...
It's about growth.
Copy !req
1314. It's about change.
Copy !req
1315. But you seem to
just wanna stay the same.
Copy !req
1316. I guess what I'm trying to say
Copy !req
1317. is that you'll always be
the God of Mischief,
Copy !req
1318. but you could be more.
Copy !req
1319. I'll just put this over here for you.
Copy !req
1320. Anyway, all got places to be,
so good luck.
Copy !req
1321. All right, I can figure this out.
Copy !req
1322. It's just another spaceship.
Copy !req
1323. Loyal Sakaarians,
Copy !req
1324. Lord of Thunder has stolen my ship
and my favorite champion.
Copy !req
1325. Sakaarians, take to the skies.
Bring him down.
Copy !req
1326. Do not let him leave this planet.
Copy !req
1327. - Good shot!
- Thanks.
Copy !req
1328. Open the doors.
Copy !req
1329. Okay.
Copy !req
1330. I hope that you're tougher
than you look.
Copy !req
1331. Why?
Copy !req
1332. Shouldn't we be shooting back
or something?
Copy !req
1333. Yes, we should.
Copy !req
1334. Where are the guns on this ship?
Copy !req
1335. There aren't any.
Copy !req
1336. - It's a leisure vessel.
- What?
Copy !req
1337. Grandmaster uses it for his good times,
orgies and stuff.
Copy !req
1338. Did she just say the Grandmaster
uses it for orgies?
Copy !req
1339. Yeah.
Copy !req
1340. Don't touch anything.
Copy !req
1341. No!
Copy !req
1342. - No!
- No!
Copy !req
1343. Get inside!
Copy !req
1344. In a minute.
Copy !req
1345. I should probably go and help.
Here, take the wheel.
Copy !req
1346. No. I don't know
how to fly one of these.
Copy !req
1347. You're a scientist.
Use one of your PhDs.
Copy !req
1348. None of them are for flying
alien spaceships!
Copy !req
1349. Okay, come on.
Copy !req
1350. There's gotta be a gun on this thing.
Copy !req
1351. That looks like a gun.
Copy !req
1352. It's my birthday
It's my birthday
Copy !req
1353. It's my birthday
Copy !req
1354. Yeah!
Copy !req
1355. Guys, we're coming up
on the Devil's Anus!
Copy !req
1356. There she is.
Copy !req
1357. Our ticket out of here.
Copy !req
1358. Hey, what's this?
Copy !req
1359. Thank you.
Copy !req
1360. Hey, man. We're about to jump
on that ginormous spaceship.
Copy !req
1361. You wanna come?
Copy !req
1362. You do seem like you're
in desperate need of leadership.
Copy !req
1363. Why, thank you.
Copy !req
1364. Here we go.
Copy !req
1365. Shit.
Copy !req
1366. Asgardians...
Copy !req
1367. Some misguided soul
Copy !req
1368. has stolen the Bifrost sword.
Copy !req
1369. Tell us where it is
Copy !req
1370. or there will be consequences.
Copy !req
1371. Bad ones.
Copy !req
1372. Well?
Copy !req
1373. You.
Copy !req
1374. Well? Executioner?
Copy !req
1375. Wait!
Copy !req
1376. Wait!
Copy !req
1377. I know where the sword is.
Copy !req
1378. I never thought I'd be back here.
Copy !req
1379. I thought it'd be a lot nicer.
Copy !req
1380. I mean, not that it's not nice.
It's just, it's on fire.
Copy !req
1381. Here, up here in the mountains.
Copy !req
1382. Heat signatures.
People clustered together.
Copy !req
1383. She's coming for them.
Copy !req
1384. Okay, drop me off at the palace
and I'll draw her away.
Copy !req
1385. And get yourself killed?
Copy !req
1386. The people trapped down there
are all that matters.
Copy !req
1387. While I'm dealing with Hela, I need you
two to help get everyone off Asgard.
Copy !req
1388. How the hell are we supposed to do that?
Copy !req
1389. I have a man on the ground.
Copy !req
1390. Asgard.
Copy !req
1391. She's here.
Copy !req
1392. Now the ship has a gun.
Copy !req
1393. I'll take it from here.
Copy !req
1394. I found this in the armory.
Copy !req
1395. Good luck.
Copy !req
1396. Your Majesty...
Copy !req
1397. Don't die.
Copy !req
1398. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
1399. We must keep moving!
Copy !req
1400. Go to the Bifrost!
Copy !req
1401. Sister.
Copy !req
1402. You're still alive.
Copy !req
1403. I love what you've done with the place.
Redecorating, I see.
Copy !req
1404. It seems our father's solution
to every problem was to cover it up.
Copy !req
1405. Or to cast it out.
Copy !req
1406. He told you you were worthy.
He said the same thing to me.
Copy !req
1407. You see?
Copy !req
1408. You never knew him.
Copy !req
1409. Not at his best.
Copy !req
1410. Odin and I drowned entire civilizations
in blood and tears.
Copy !req
1411. Where do you think all this gold
came from?
Copy !req
1412. And then, one day,
Copy !req
1413. he decided to become a benevolent king.
Copy !req
1414. To foster peace, to protect life.
Copy !req
1415. To have you.
Copy !req
1416. I understand why you're angry.
Copy !req
1417. And you are my sister, and technically
have a claim to the throne.
Copy !req
1418. And believe me, I would love
for someone else to rule.
Copy !req
1419. But it can't be you.
Copy !req
1420. You're just the worst.
Copy !req
1421. Okay, get up.
Copy !req
1422. You're in my seat.
Copy !req
1423. You know, Father once told me
Copy !req
1424. that a wise king never seeks out war.
Copy !req
1425. But must always be ready for it.
Copy !req
1426. Go back!
Copy !req
1427. Go!
Copy !req
1428. To be honest, I expected more.
Copy !req
1429. Heimdall!
Copy !req
1430. The sword!
Copy !req
1431. Here's the difference between us.
Copy !req
1432. I'm Odin's firstborn,
Copy !req
1433. the rightful heir, the savior of Asgard.
Copy !req
1434. And you're nothing.
Copy !req
1435. So simple,
even a blind man could see it.
Copy !req
1436. Now you remind me of Dad.
Copy !req
1437. The stupid dog won't die!
Copy !req
1438. Everything's gonna be all right now.
I got this.
Copy !req
1439. You wanted to know who I am?
Copy !req
1440. What the hell are you talking about?
Copy !req
1441. You'll see!
Copy !req
1442. You see? No one's going anywhere.
Copy !req
1443. I'll get that sword,
Copy !req
1444. even if I have to kill every
single one of them to do it.
Copy !req
1445. Hey, man.
Copy !req
1446. I'm Korg. This is Miek.
Copy !req
1447. We're gonna jump on that spaceship
and get out of here. Wanna come?
Copy !req
1448. Your savior is here.
Copy !req
1449. Did you miss me?
Copy !req
1450. Everyone, on that ship now.
Copy !req
1451. Welcome home. I saw you coming.
Copy !req
1452. Of course you did.
Copy !req
1453. It's a valiant effort,
but you never stood a chance.
Copy !req
1454. You see...
Copy !req
1455. I'm not a queen or a monster.
Copy !req
1456. I'm the Goddess of Death.
Copy !req
1457. What were you the god of, again?
Copy !req
1458. Even when you had two eyes,
Copy !req
1459. you'd see only half the picture.
Copy !req
1460. She's too strong.
Without my hammer, I can't.
Copy !req
1461. Are you Thor, the God of Hammers?
Copy !req
1462. That hammer was to help you
control your power, to focus it.
Copy !req
1463. It was never your source of strength.
Copy !req
1464. It's too late.
She's already taken Asgard.
Copy !req
1465. Asgard is not a place. Never was.
Copy !req
1466. This could be Asgard.
Copy !req
1467. Asgard is where our people stand.
Copy !req
1468. Even now, right now,
those people need your help.
Copy !req
1469. I'm not as strong as you.
Copy !req
1470. No...
Copy !req
1471. You're stronger.
Copy !req
1472. Tell me, brother.
Copy !req
1473. What were you the god of, again?
Copy !req
1474. - You're late.
- You're missing an eye.
Copy !req
1475. This isn't over.
Copy !req
1476. I think we should disband the Revengers.
Copy !req
1477. Hit her with a lightning blast.
Copy !req
1478. I just hit her with the biggest lightning
blast in the history of lightning.
Copy !req
1479. It did nothing.
Copy !req
1480. We just need to hold her off
until everyone's on board.
Copy !req
1481. It won't end there.
Copy !req
1482. The longer Hela's on Asgard,
the more powerful she grows.
Copy !req
1483. She'll hunt us down.
Copy !req
1484. We need to stop her here and now.
Copy !req
1485. So what do we do?
Copy !req
1486. I'm not doing "Get Help."
Copy !req
1487. Asgard's not a place, it's a people.
Copy !req
1488. Loki,
Copy !req
1489. this was never about stopping Ragnarok.
Copy !req
1490. This was about causing Ragnarok.
Copy !req
1491. Surtur's crown, the vault.
Copy !req
1492. It's the only way.
Copy !req
1493. Bold move, brother.
Copy !req
1494. Even for me.
Copy !req
1495. Shall we?
Copy !req
1496. After you.
Copy !req
1497. This is madness.
Copy !req
1498. Go! Go, now!
Copy !req
1499. For Asgard.
Copy !req
1500. Hela!
Copy !req
1501. With the Eternal Flame, you are reborn.
Copy !req
1502. Hela, enough!
Copy !req
1503. You want Asgard, it's yours.
Copy !req
1504. Whatever game you're playing,
it won't work.
Copy !req
1505. You can't defeat me.
Copy !req
1506. No, I know.
Copy !req
1507. But he can.
Copy !req
1508. No.
Copy !req
1509. Tremble before me, Asgard!
Copy !req
1510. I am your reckoning!
Copy !req
1511. The people are safe.
Copy !req
1512. That's all that matters.
Copy !req
1513. We're fulfilling the prophecy.
Copy !req
1514. I hate this prophecy.
Copy !req
1515. So do I, but we have no choice.
Copy !req
1516. Surtur destroys Asgard,
Copy !req
1517. he destroys Hela,
so that our people may live.
Copy !req
1518. But we need to let him finish the job,
otherwise...
Copy !req
1519. No!
Copy !req
1520. Hulk, stop, you moron!
Copy !req
1521. Hulk, stop.
Copy !req
1522. Just for once in your life, don't smash.
Copy !req
1523. Big monster!
Copy !req
1524. Let's go!
Copy !req
1525. Fine.
Copy !req
1526. I am Asgard's doom!
Copy !req
1527. The damage is not too bad.
Copy !req
1528. As long as the foundations
are still strong,
Copy !req
1529. we can rebuild this place.
Copy !req
1530. It will become a haven
Copy !req
1531. for all peoples and aliens
of the universe.
Copy !req
1532. Now those foundations are gone. Sorry.
Copy !req
1533. What have I done?
Copy !req
1534. You saved us from extinction.
Copy !req
1535. Asgard is not a place...
Copy !req
1536. It's a people.
Copy !req
1537. It suits you.
Copy !req
1538. Maybe you're not so bad after all,
brother.
Copy !req
1539. Maybe not.
Copy !req
1540. Thank you.
Copy !req
1541. If you were here,
I might even give you a hug.
Copy !req
1542. I'm here.
Copy !req
1543. Your throne.
Copy !req
1544. So, King of Asgard.
Copy !req
1545. Where to?
Copy !req
1546. I'm not sure.
Copy !req
1547. Any suggestions?
Copy !req
1548. Miek, where are you from?
Copy !req
1549. Miek's dead.
Copy !req
1550. Yeah, no, I accidentally stomped on him
on the bridge.
Copy !req
1551. I've just felt so guilty,
I've been carrying him around all day.
Copy !req
1552. Miek, you're alive!
Copy !req
1553. He's alive, guys.
What was your question again, bro?
Copy !req
1554. Earth it is.
Copy !req
1555. Do you really think it's a good idea
to go back to Earth?
Copy !req
1556. Yes, of course. The people of Earth
love me. I'm very popular.
Copy !req
1557. Let me rephrase that.
Copy !req
1558. Do you really think it's a good idea
to bring me back to Earth?
Copy !req
1559. Probably not, to be honest.
Copy !req
1560. I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel like
everything's gonna work out fine.
Copy !req
1561. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1562. I just gotta say, I'm proud of you all.
Copy !req
1563. This revolution has been
a huge success. Yay, us!
Copy !req
1564. Pat on the back.
Pat on the back.
Copy !req
1565. Come on. No?
Copy !req
1566. Me too.
'Cause I've been a big part of it.
Copy !req
1567. Can't have a revolution
without somebody to overthrow.
Copy !req
1568. So, you're welcome.
Copy !req