1. Good morning. It's, uh...
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2. first day of the rest of my life
right here.
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3. This is it.
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4. Hi, my name is Tom Green.
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5. You may remember me
from The Tom Green Show,
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6. or movies like Road Trip,
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7. or my rap group, Organized Rhyme.
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8. or my public access TV show,
or going on David Letterman.
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9. - How are you doing?
- Or Freddy Got Fingered.
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10. Or hosting Saturday Night Live.
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11. Well, for the last 20 years,
I've lived in Hollywood, California.
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12. That's my house. And, well, I sold it.
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13. And that's my new house.
I moved to the country in Canada.
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14. A farm not far from my hometown.
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15. That's my dog, Charlie.
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16. And I'm making a documentary
about my life.
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17. Don't make a documentary about your life.
It's weird.
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18. Uh, hilarious, sometimes crazy,
sometimes strange, anxiety inducing.
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19. But mostly, a relief to be able
to tell my story.
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20. This is not really a documentary.
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21. - What is it?
- I don't know.
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22. I don't think there's any such thing
as a true documentary.
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23. - Why? What Is it true documentary?
- The camera effects everything.
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24. Ah.
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25. As soon as you document something,
you change it.
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26. So therefore you're not really
documenting it at all, right?
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27. - Something like that.
- Mm-hmm.
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28. Is it unusual for the person
who is being, um...
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29. a biography of them,
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30. is it unusual for them to direct
their own biographical movie?
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31. Yeah. You're not supposed to do that.
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32. Well, I don't know
if there's rules, but...
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33. - I think there are.
- Are there rules? Who wrote those rules?
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34. - I don't know, somebody who knows a lot.
- But conventionally.
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35. Somebody who knows, like,
a lot about making movies.
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36. - Okay.
- There's probably a reason for it, too.
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37. Why? Because you can whitewash
what you say.
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38. - Yeah, so...
- Yeah.
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39. And you're planning to do that?
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40. - Yes.
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41. Big day, making a documentary.
This is gonna be cool.
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42. We got some big cameras here.
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43. We've done this before, right?
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44. Mm. Not quite as...
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45. - Elaborate.
- ... elaborate as this.
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46. Was there a moment
where you kind of sort of thought
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47. that I was kind of weird?
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48. You're my mommy!
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49. - Let me have a hug.
- No way.
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50. End of discussion.
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51. - You're my parents.
- That's the sad thing, Tom.
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52. - You're a creative person.
- Okay, let's say that.
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53. That's my mother.
We're gonna go shopping.
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54. My mom and I are buying a piñata.
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55. - Oh.
- Yeah.
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56. - Going to smash the crap out of it.
- No, Tom. No, we're not.
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57. Was there a moment when I was a kid
where you started to maybe
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58. worry about me?
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59. - High school, maybe.
- High school?
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60. That's when I discovered stand-up comedy.
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61. We heard about this comedy club in Ottawa
downtown called Yuk Yuk's.
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62. We were able to go. I was 15 years old.
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63. Had a restaurant license,
so you could go even though it was a bar.
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64. Felt cool because it felt like
you were in a bar.
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65. I was now going down to Yuk Yuk's
every week.
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66. My parents would let me go on school
nights because they had an amateur night.
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67. Phil, who was on The Tom Green Show,
went down with me those first many times.
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68. - Hey, Tom, how you doing?
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69. - See that nervous tension?
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70. Were you a little nervous
about the date, Phil?
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71. What's up, sweetie?
How are you doing?
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72. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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73. - You know Phil.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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74. - What's up, man? What's up?
- What's up, Phil?
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75. - How's it going?
- What's up, Chris?
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76. How's it going, man?
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77. Come on, Charlie. Come on.
You want the keys?
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78. I am Phil. Hello. This is Tom.
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79. My oldest best friend right here.
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80. - Yeah, absolutely.
- You're the oldest person I know.
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81. No, we've known each other—
We've known each other longer.
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82. Needed to get you out here
for the documentary.
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83. Just do this? There's history there.
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84. - There's a lot of stuff.
- Oh, yeah.
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85. That's how we met, skateboarding.
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86. Skateboarding.
Kind of like came across you.
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87. I was like,
"This guy's into skateboarding."
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88. It's obvious. And we kind of clicked.
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89. I remember when we first started
going to Yuk Yuk's,
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90. and obviously you were really into it.
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91. We went to watch a few shows
and we decided to try it.
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92. I remember we did amateur night
for, like, the next two years,
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93. almost every week.
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94. Before Yuk Yuk's,
you were doing stuff at your school.
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95. You were always trying
to get on a stage and, like,
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96. somehow perform one way or another.
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97. I saw a kid who was willing
to take chances, and I like that a lot.
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98. I think that comedy,
you need to shake it up once in a while.
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99. Remember when you were a kid,
you could tell who the other kids were
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100. who were the children of alcoholics?
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101. Based on the ones
who carried their marbles to school
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102. in that purple velvet whiskey bag.
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103. Is it kind of strange
that it's been how many years?
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104. Like 30-plus years
we've been doing this stuff?
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105. - 35 years. How long has it been?
- At least 35, for sure. More.
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106. About halfway through high school,
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107. I discovered that there was a university
radio station at Ottawa U, called CHUO.
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108. Welcome to CHUO FM 89.
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109. I began volunteering there
on Friday nights.
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110. Look at this. It's amazing.
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111. It's the first time
we've appeared on camera in...
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112. together in, what, 20 years?
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113. Glenn Humplik
is a money-grubbing bastard.
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114. - Oh, look at that spandex.
- God!
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115. This is a weird thing, just to...
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116. I instantly feel like something is weird
about this seating arrangement.
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117. Can you tell me what you think it is...
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118. Glenn, that camera
records our faces, okay?
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119. related to, like, the show?
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120. Oh, I was always seated on that side.
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121. - Yeah. Can we switch?
- Oh, weird. Yeah.
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122. Yeah.
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123. I was just feeling
like it didn't feel right.
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124. Oh, yeah. There we go.
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125. Well, we met at CHUO
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126. because I was doing
my radio show on Friday nights
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127. from two to six in the morning,
called Nightfall.
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128. - Mm-hmm.
- And you came in.
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129. And you started doing—
It was a rap show, right?
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130. It was a rap music show
I got asked to do.
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131. Then I just stopped
playing music and started talking.
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132. Then you were playing music,
and then you stopped playing music too.
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133. And you started hanging out
during my show.
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134. - And then it just became...
- Midnight till six in the morning.
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135. We're game to, you know, being a little
zany on the air sometimes, you know?
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136. And that was really when we knew
that I was gonna get into show business,
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137. - I guess, right? Really?
- I don't think so because—
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138. Well, I don't know
if I thought you'd be in show business,
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139. but I felt that you liked
the feeling you got.
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140. Did I say I want to do this, though?
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141. - You didn't.
- So when did I start saying that?
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142. Well, probably when you started
getting interested in music.
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143. - The band was called?
- It was called Organized Rhyme.
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144. - And it was a rap band?
- It was a rap band from Ottawa.
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145. I started a rap group
with my good friend Greg,
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146. who was a couple of years
younger than me in high school,
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147. but we both skateboarded.
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148. We both liked rap music.
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149. And at that time,
nobody was listening to rap music
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150. except for a handful
of people in my school.
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151. - MC Pin.
- MC Pin.
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152. - MC Bones.
- MC Pin, MC Bones.
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153. Rocking the microphones.
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154. - Welcome, man. Good to see you, buddy.
- Thank you.
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155. - You too.
- Been a long time.
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156. Together as a group, as Organized Rhyme,
we've been together for two years.
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157. We did the school show.
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158. And then it's just been, you know...
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159. That's changed our lives
from that point on.
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160. When I was doing Organized Rhyme,
there was no other rap groups in Ottawa.
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161. When you're doing anything
artistic in Ottawa, you kind of feel,
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162. "Wow, I'm really thinking
way out of the box here."
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163. You don't feel like other people
are judging you.
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164. We're gonna tell it how it is
growing up in suburbia.
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165. It was right around then when you, Chris,
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166. the man standing right here
behind this camera...
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167. I'd like a more flattering lens.
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168. came and did a little story
about Organized Rhyme.
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169. And that's where all this video that
you're looking at right now came from.
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170. Get up. Move it.
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171. Time to get.
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172. - Okay, you awake now?
- Oh!
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173. Because that must have been
a sort of a turning point.
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174. It was the CBC, right?
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175. It was a big television
news sort of program.
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176. I thought it was great.
I mean, you were getting success.
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177. What are you doing now?
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178. I'm cutting the apples.
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179. You remember when we went
to New York to record?
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180. - I do.
- And you guys sort of paid for that.
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181. Yeah, we did.
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182. I remember this guy
pulled up to the door in his BMW.
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183. - I think it was a Volvo, but...
- Was it?
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184. His name was Boogie, from Brooklyn,
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185. and he wanted to produce a record
with you guys.
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186. Yeah, and then we recorded
like five songs.
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187. They came to New York.
His mother, God bless her soul.
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188. She just had a beautiful presence.
She was supportive.
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189. And I was like, this is what
New York hip-hop needs.
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190. The, um... The support.
Like, that whole...
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191. Family-family.
Like, family after family.
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192. You know what I mean?
We support you in the home.
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193. But we really support you
when you're go to your dream.
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194. And when they came,
and they were really ready to...
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195. You know, I'm like,
"Y'all more serious than I am."
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196. Let me step up mine.
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197. They actually made me step up
my production and my seriousness, so...
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198. I'm born and raised in Brownsville.
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199. That's a rough neighborhood.
If you do the statistics, it's real rough.
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200. Now, I'm trying to keep an eye on them,
but you know who's missing, right?
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201. Tom. He's on Rockaway and Livonia.
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202. I can't explain his mother,
"I don't know where your son is at."
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203. Like, this dude just rode a skateboard
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204. down one of the most
dangerous neighborhoods.
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205. When he came back,
he came back with friends.
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206. I'm like, "Yo, what are you doing?"
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207. "Yo, we like this dude.
This dude is cool."
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208. We did come back from New York
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209. a little bit different.
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210. How could we not?
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211. At that age, how do you not change?
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212. Cool, cool, cool factor?
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213. If you hadn't done that,
we wouldn't have recorded that demo.
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214. - That's true, and—
- Wouldn't have gotten that experience.
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215. That's right.
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216. Wouldn't have been
taking it as seriously.
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217. - That's right.
- Might not have gotten the record deal.
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218. Yes, the record deal.
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219. It all started
when we got this big opportunity
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220. to open for this legendary
Canadian rap group, the Dream Warriors.
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221. The reason we're going to T.O.
in January now is because
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222. when we go down to do the recording,
we're also gonna do a video.
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223. Plus, we're gonna do Rap City
on MuchMusic.
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224. This group hails from Ottawa.
They call themselves Organized Rhyme.
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225. - We were nominated for a Juno.
- I know. And you went down to Toronto.
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226. That's a pretty big deal.
I've been nominated for a Juno.
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227. - Do you remember?
- I do.
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228. We won the Canadian Music Video Award
for the best rap video from MuchMusic.
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229. It did give me an early taste
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230. of what it was like
to be in show business,
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231. creating some sort of music
or silliness, putting it on TV.
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232. I remember I was really interested
in your camera,
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233. so I started probably asking you about it,
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234. and you were very generous with your time,
and you invited me over to your studio
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235. and showed me all your equipment.
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236. I was like, "Wow, man,
if this rap thing doesn't work out,
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237. I think I want to make funny videos."
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238. And the rap thing didn't work out.
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239. I don't think the station
would have let me do The Tom Green Show
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240. if it hadn't been for the rap group.
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241. Here. I know. It's true.
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242. Are you Colleen Boyle?
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243. - Yes.
- Did you write this letter, Colleen?
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244. You have a lovely room.
You have a nice room.
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245. - You didn't go in my room.
- Ask me a question about your room.
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246. You didn't go in, like, and see my...
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247. This guy right here
was sitting on your bed.
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248. Ew.
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249. Change the sheets.
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250. As a kid,
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251. I always knew
I wanted to do some kind of comedy.
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252. And then I discovered David Letterman.
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253. There was just something
about the absurdity of that.
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254. You know, I remember all the famous ones.
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255. He'd bring the fruit basket
over next door to the GE building
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256. and get kicked out
by the security guard of his own network.
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257. - Turn the cameras off, please.
- Okay, we just wanted
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258. to drop off this basket of fruit...
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259. - Okay. Cameras, please?
- ... as a gesture of goodwill.
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260. Cut the cameras, please.
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261. You have to talk to the director
right over there.
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262. And you're thinking, "How crazy is that?"
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263. Like, he's actually getting in trouble.
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264. - I wanted to be David Letterman.
- And you would listen every night,
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265. and I'd worry
that you were not getting sleep.
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266. And I would have to get up
and go downstairs and say,
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267. "Tom, turn off the TV. It's late."
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268. I remember when I did stand-up,
I wore Dad's blazer.
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269. - Yeah.
- And I wore sneakers
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270. and beige khakis like Letterman did.
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271. Right.
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272. I also loved skateboarding.
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273. There was a lot of skateboarding videos
that I would watch by Stacy Peralta,
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274. who did the Bones Brigade videos,
and they were kind of raw
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275. man-on-the-street-type things.
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276. And it was very influential, I think,
for the way that I wanted to shoot stuff.
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277. Some people stand in the shower all day,
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278. but I usually just have a short shower.
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279. Getting access to video cameras
in those early days
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280. was kind of like a magical thing.
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281. You'd shoot the video,
and then you'd put it back in
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282. and you watch it.
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283. And you sort of couldn't believe you were
looking at yourself on the television.
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284. You know, you're with your friends,
you're out there,
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285. you're pushing each other
to kind of do tricks.
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286. And there's kind of a certain
comedy culture
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287. and a razzing culture in skating,
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288. almost like punk comedy,
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289. getting yourself in trouble quite often.
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290. - Which high school?
- [man 1] Sir Robert Ford.
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291. - And you?
- [man 2] I'm just with them.
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292. Okay. Where do you work, sir?
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293. - [man 2] Uh, it's none of your business.
- Okay, that's fine.
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294. I went back to school.
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295. I studied television broadcasting
at Algonquin College,
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296. where I learned
how to edit and shoot video,
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297. do lighting and do photography.
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298. Comin' in here with your guns all...
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299. All the things
that I would have needed to know
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300. if I wanted to make my own
television show.
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301. At least Brian's still with us...
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302. I'm glad I did focus in school.
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303. And that's where I met Trevor Cavanaugh,
Darcy DeToni.
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304. I'm hunting for moths.
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305. I'm Burning Feet Man!
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306. I'll bring you light to attract the moths!
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307. - How you doing?
- Good.
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308. A little grayer.
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309. - A little bit.
- A little heavier.
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310. - Good. Looks good on you, though.
- Okay.
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311. - I'm a little heavier. Am I heavier, too?
- Yeah.
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312. - Yeah? We both gained weight?
- I think we have, yeah.
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313. Trevor Cavanaugh, ladies and gentlemen.
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314. Hi.
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315. I'm Barry Manilow.
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316. - Yo! How are you?
- Tom.
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317. - How you doing?
- How's it going, man?
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318. - Good to see you.
- Good to see you, man.
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319. Remember this guy? When was last time
you guys saw each other?
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320. Been in a few years.
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321. That's a good tactic, Trev.
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322. Check this out.
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323. - Oh, no! I think I know what that is.
- You know what this is?
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324. Volunteer award for outstanding
community producer, The Tom Green Show.
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325. Tom Green, Darcy DeToni,
Trevor Cavanaugh.
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326. - Glenn Humplik.
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327. - Wow.
- Nice.
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328. I'd never been
so focused in my life on anything.
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329. In high school, nothing.
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330. I did very well.
I got great grades in college.
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331. I did not have good grades in high school.
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332. You're in college all week,
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333. and then on my Friday night,
I would then go to the radio station.
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334. I'd be on the air,
and the kids at school would listen to it.
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335. And I remember Trevor and Darcy
were listening to the radio show,
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336. and we started talking about it one day,
and I was like,
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337. "Why don't we go do a TV show at Rogers?"
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338. - What's that?
- Pitch documents.
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339. - Wow.
- Handwritten pitch documents.
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340. target audience. Yeah.
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341. We pitched the show to this guy,
Ray Hagel.
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342. He had been listening
to my college radio show.
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343. They gave us a four-episode test.
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344. So we ended up shooting segments
all summer.
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345. The first video we ever shot
for The Tom Green Show.
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346. The idea was,
I have meat taped to my head.
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347. What are you doing
out in the ByWard Market?
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348. That's so cruel.
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349. - How's the ice cream?
- Fine. This is art?
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350. - What's that?
- This is art?
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351. - Art?
- Yes.
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352. - The ice cream is art?
- No, your head.
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353. - Oh, okay, my head is art.
- Yes.
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354. Thank you, that's the best compliment
anyone's ever given me.
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355. Meathead was probably the one
that sort of almost became
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356. kind of a style of video
that we did on the show,
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357. going out on the street,
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358. doing something weird,
getting a reaction from people.
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359. Three, two, one!
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360. Experimentation. No rules.
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361. No commercial advertisers telling us
what we could or couldn't do.
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362. Back then, like, video cameras
were basically brand-new
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363. and they were really expensive.
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364. Or you'd sign one out at school,
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365. but you'd get it for the day
for a school project.
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366. All of a sudden,
the idea of like taking an idea
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367. out into the real world
became a possibility.
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368. That's when real people
became unwitting performers
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369. in television shows.
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370. You could argue
that Tom was the first person
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371. to really do reality.
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372. Uh, first person in a long, long time
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373. to do man-on-the-street kind of stuff.
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374. Now, Steve Allen,
way back when in the '50s,
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375. did some man-on-the-street kind of things.
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376. But Tom took it
to a whole different level.
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377. Remember, before 1999,
most comedy shows were scripted
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378. except for Candid Camera
and variety shows and talk shows.
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379. But there wasn't anyone
going out in the street
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380. with a video camera
without a professional crew,
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381. just some kid goofing around on people
and putting it on TV.
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382. We built our own set.
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383. The idea was,
it was an upside-down set, right?
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384. I actually think that the first set
Copy !req
385. was the best set that there ever was
in the history of the show.
Copy !req
386. The bright green walls.
Copy !req
387. - The fishbowl upside down.
- Right.
Copy !req
388. Hey, folks, how are you doing?
Welcome to The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
389. This is Tom Green.
Let's give him a big hand.
Copy !req
390. Rob Forest and Sean Potvin.
Copy !req
391. They are stunt performers.
Copy !req
392. This is an over the shoulder.
Copy !req
393. All right, this is a punch to the stomach.
Copy !req
394. Glenn Humplik,
who I'd met at the radio station,
Copy !req
395. and I asked him if he wanted to come down
and be my sidekick.
Copy !req
396. Hi, you're on the air
talking to Glenn Humplik.
Copy !req
397. Hi. Hey, Glenn.
Copy !req
398. I just wondered,
do you want a bigger role in this show?
Copy !req
399. - You have a small role.
- You have a small, boring role.
Copy !req
400. - No. Oh!
Copy !req
401. You remember like I asked you
to do the show?
Copy !req
402. - Yes.
- Okay.
Copy !req
403. It was a pretty clear, mapped-out idea.
Copy !req
404. Like, it's gonna be like Letterman
or Johnny Carson,
Copy !req
405. and you're gonna be...
Copy !req
406. You had a good idea of what the show
was going to be in your head.
Copy !req
407. Did you notice that Glenn and I
are all snuggled up?
Copy !req
408. - Yes.
- It's kind of strange right now.
Copy !req
409. That's because I noticed the camera
was pointing more at Glenn,
Copy !req
410. and I like to get my face on TV.
Copy !req
411. - Boy, we know that.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
412. Was there a moment when you thought,
"No, I don't want to do that?"
Copy !req
413. Oh, absolutely. The second you asked me.
Copy !req
414. - Oh, really? Really?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
415. - It's a $50 shirt.
- Just take it off quick.
Copy !req
416. - That was a good shirt!
- It was a good shirt.
Copy !req
417. Look at the way it burns.
Copy !req
418. - Nerve-racking?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
419. I've never felt comfortable on camera.
Copy !req
420. You just unplug it.
Unplug it before you burst into flames.
Copy !req
421. - Why did you do it then?
- Oh, I think I told you.
Copy !req
422. I said, you know, I'll give it a try,
Copy !req
423. and if this sucks
or if I don't like it then...
Copy !req
424. - Glenn Humplik exercising tonight.
Copy !req
425. Then I went on my radio show
at the university
Copy !req
426. and I told everybody listening
to come down to the public access station.
Copy !req
427. And, like, a hundred kids showed up.
Copy !req
428. Guess they figured if it was anything
like the goofy radio show I was doing,
Copy !req
429. it was gonna be pretty weird.
Copy !req
430. And it was.
It was me with meat on my head.
Copy !req
431. - How's it—
- Going under.
Copy !req
432. You're having a poop-it party
or something?
Copy !req
433. By the time we'd done the four episodes,
Copy !req
434. a local reporter named Ken Rockburn
Copy !req
435. wanted to do a piece
about The Tom Green Show,
Copy !req
436. and he compared it to a crazy
indie version
Copy !req
437. of David Letterman, my hero.
Copy !req
438. And that kind of sealed our fate.
Copy !req
439. The powers that be at the public access
station gave us the go-ahead
Copy !req
440. to keep making episodes.
Copy !req
441. And we did.
Copy !req
442. - They picked up the show.
- I know.
Copy !req
443. I would spend late nights
at the public access station by myself
Copy !req
444. editing videos,
Copy !req
445. my days on the streets shooting new ones.
Copy !req
446. I hardly stopped.
Copy !req
447. I had to make the show work.
Copy !req
448. I couldn't imagine being happy in life
doing anything else.
Copy !req
449. This was a fight for survival.
Copy !req
450. I was driven by fear
and a manic sense of urgency.
Copy !req
451. I had no plan B.
Copy !req
452. - Don't hurt him!
Copy !req
453. Don't hurt him! Wait!
Copy !req
454. Wait!
Copy !req
455. And people started talking
about this weird show
Copy !req
456. that was on late at night in Ottawa
Copy !req
457. on public access TV.
Copy !req
458. Shinny up the glass!
Copy !req
459. - Shinny up the glass!
Copy !req
460. I thought it was just
gonna be another student thing.
Copy !req
461. - You know, they're never really...
- I mean, honestly,
Copy !req
462. I probably didn't know
it was gonna work either.
Copy !req
463. I'm burning as it is.
Copy !req
464. People started talking about it.
Copy !req
465. "You see that crazy guy
on The Tom Green Show?"
Copy !req
466. And this would be some colonel at work.
Copy !req
467. - Really? A colonel in the military.
- In the military.
Copy !req
468. "That guy is funny as hell."
Copy !req
469. And while all this was going on,
we just kept experimenting
Copy !req
470. and trying weird things.
Copy !req
471. I remember going out in the street
and taping bread to my head.
Copy !req
472. It was all about the reaction.
Copy !req
473. Going on the street,
putting bread on my head.
Copy !req
474. Why not?
Copy !req
475. I make boys out of wood.
Copy !req
476. I call them wooden boys.
Copy !req
477. I don't know what to make of this, so...
Copy !req
478. I'd lie down on my face in the market.
Copy !req
479. We were shooting a hidden camera,
which we rarely did,
Copy !req
480. from the rooftop of a parking garage
across the street.
Copy !req
481. We took the time to get a wireless mic
Copy !req
482. so you could hear the people around me
talking when they came up to say...
Copy !req
483. Are you okay?
Copy !req
484. And this kind of went on and on,
people come check on me.
Copy !req
485. Finally, someone said,
"Someone call an ambulance."
Copy !req
486. And then I just slowly got up
and I walked away.
Copy !req
487. But that was one of the ones
where we realized,
Copy !req
488. "Oh, sometimes they get a big reaction."
Copy !req
489. How about Bon Jovi?
Copy !req
490. That was a huge moment because that was
the first time we woke up my parents.
Copy !req
491. We were driving back from shooting.
It was like...
Copy !req
492. 3:30 in the morning right now.
Sunday night.
Copy !req
493. We're gonna go in and wake them up
and see if they want to watch
Copy !req
494. a Bon Jovi Live in New Jersey
videotape with me, let's go.
Copy !req
495. You would try to sneak in,
and the dog would start to bark.
Copy !req
496. Hello? Mom?
Copy !req
497. You said, "We need a prop.
We need like a reason."
Copy !req
498. I looked in the back seat of his car,
Copy !req
499. and there was a Bon Jovi
Live in New Jersey videocassette.
Copy !req
500. You guys want to go watch Bon Jovi?
Copy !req
501. - No.
Copy !req
502. Your head was under the covers
and I was saying,
Copy !req
503. "You want to watch
Bon Jovi Live in New Jersey?"
Copy !req
504. - Tom—
- Come on, can we just go and watch it?
Copy !req
505. Tom, would you turn off the camera?
What the hell time is it?
Copy !req
506. Ten to 3:00. Forget it.
I have to get up in about three hours.
Copy !req
507. Really? I have to get up early
tomorrow too.
Copy !req
508. And the crowd went crazy,
everyone loved it
Copy !req
509. because you were upset.
Copy !req
510. Because I was upset,
you decided to do it several more times.
Copy !req
511. Do you want to just go watch
a couple minutes?
Copy !req
512. We quickly realized that was very
relatable to people watching.
Copy !req
513. "Are those your real parents?
Are your parents gonna kill you?"
Copy !req
514. You prank your parents, and I think
that's something everybody loves.
Copy !req
515. But the first big eventful one
was probably when I...
Copy !req
516. - Painted their house plaid once.
Copy !req
517. Yeah, that was pretty dramatic.
Copy !req
518. I think my parents will be happy
when they come home and see I've done
Copy !req
519. some work around the house and not just
lazed around on my ass all week.
Copy !req
520. I hoped my parents
would like their surprise.
Copy !req
521. I painted, I worked all week
while they were gone on their trip.
Copy !req
522. Mom said they wanted us to do chores
around the house while they were gone.
Copy !req
523. Never said to do that.
Copy !req
524. I thought it'd be nice to go
above and beyond the call of duty.
Copy !req
525. There he was. The car pulled up.
It looked like he liked it at first.
Copy !req
526. I thought my mom kind of liked it too,
but, well, I, well...
Copy !req
527. You painted the house?
Copy !req
528. I think your dad then took your car.
Copy !req
529. - And he hid it.
- The car is gone.
Copy !req
530. Car is gone.
Copy !req
531. - I did all the lawn too...
- My car.
Copy !req
532. My car. My car will be sold.
I'm calling the guy.
Copy !req
533. What do you mean?
Copy !req
534. You have two days
to get that painted back.
Copy !req
535. You knew it was funny.
Copy !req
536. I knew it was funny,
but it was funny at my expense.
Copy !req
537. - Right.
- So I was sort of torn, you know.
Copy !req
538. Starting out innocent enough at first,
Copy !req
539. but then later barging into their room
with all sorts of ridiculous scenarios.
Copy !req
540. It's 3:00 in the morning.
Copy !req
541. Well, see, my mother's gone away to Barrie
to visit relatives.
Copy !req
542. And my father's really lonely.
Copy !req
543. So then we surprised you
with dancing girls.
Copy !req
544. - Not again.
- Dad.
Copy !req
545. That part I enjoyed, yeah.
Copy !req
546. - Of course you did.
Copy !req
547. Hi, I'm Lisa, and I'm a Taurus,
and I love camping.
Copy !req
548. Oh, yeah? Great.
Copy !req
549. Well, you'd be mad at first,
but then you would...
Copy !req
550. You wouldn't shut down the whole shoot.
Copy !req
551. And then there'd be funny lines
you would throw in.
Copy !req
552. Whoo!
Copy !req
553. A little Tuesday night, eh?
Copy !req
554. You had a cyst
being removed on the top of your head.
Copy !req
555. - Yeah.
- Followed you to the doctor's office.
Copy !req
556. And I had an electric frying pan with me.
Copy !req
557. And I asked the doctor
Copy !req
558. if I could fry up your cyst
after he removes it and eat it.
Copy !req
559. - Oh, yeah.
- Remember that?
Copy !req
560. But I always remember
you had a funny line.
Copy !req
561. - Oh, really? Okay.
- So I showed up. I had the frying pan.
Copy !req
562. I said, "I'm gonna go to your surgery.
I'm gonna eat your cyst."
Copy !req
563. You said, "No, no,
today's my hemorrhoid operation."
Copy !req
564. Really? Okay.
Copy !req
565. People weren't just laughing
at what I was doing.
Copy !req
566. They were laughing at the reaction to it.
That was the funny part.
Copy !req
567. Just a second. I'll be right back, okay?
Copy !req
568. We didn't have a lot of money for props,
Copy !req
569. so a lot of times we'd go
to the grocery store before the show.
Copy !req
570. Kitty litter.
Copy !req
571. Oh, God.
Copy !req
572. Nice substance
to pour all over myself
Copy !req
573. to confuse everybody at home watching.
Copy !req
574. Bags of milk.
Copy !req
575. I got a bag of milk in my pants!
Copy !req
576. I got a bag of milk in my pants!
Copy !req
577. And the show became a big hit locally.
Copy !req
578. This guy is a clown.
Copy !req
579. Let's go over to the storage space
where I kept all of my videotapes
Copy !req
580. of Tom Green Show archives
and everything I've shot.
Copy !req
581. The movies and videos
for the last 30 years.
Copy !req
582. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
583. The Tom Green Show, episode one.
Copy !req
584. We're looking at probably
a few thousand videotapes.
Copy !req
585. It's almost like looking at these tapes
is gonna be looking at a different person.
Copy !req
586. The opinions expressed
in the following program
Copy !req
587. are those of the participants
and do not necessarily reflect
Copy !req
588. the opinions of the Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation.
Copy !req
589. The show got bigger and bigger and bigger,
Copy !req
590. eventually catching the eye of the CBC.
Copy !req
591. We shot a pilot for the CBC.
We thought we had made it.
Copy !req
592. - Look at them all!
Copy !req
593. There's a whole bunch of them!
Copy !req
594. Glenn Humplik!
Copy !req
595. What a band, eh?
Copy !req
596. What a band.
They make sounds with their instruments.
Copy !req
597. - They make me want to boogie.
- They make you want to boogie.
Copy !req
598. Glenn, this is great, eh?
Copy !req
599. And we have Punchbuggy, and we have
some guests on the show today as well.
Copy !req
600. - Joe Flaherty is gonna be on the show.
- Yes.
Copy !req
601. Tom was always driven
from the beginning
Copy !req
602. about making a funny show,
Copy !req
603. but also taking it
to a broadcaster somewhere.
Copy !req
604. What are you, a snake or something
for God's sakes?
Copy !req
605. For years it was like, how are we gonna
get someone to pick up the show?
Copy !req
606. Who wants to see Adam, the drummer,
go skateboarding?
Copy !req
607. - Okay, let's go.
Copy !req
608. We worked on that for a year.
Copy !req
609. We made all of our videos
just as perfect as we could.
Copy !req
610. I'm actually a health inspector
during the day.
Copy !req
611. You don't want to buy bad mustard.
Copy !req
612. Has anyone ever come in the store
and gotten mustard in their eye?
Copy !req
613. I got mustard in my eye!
Copy !req
614. Hey!
Copy !req
615. - Those days must have been great.
- Oh, yeah, they were great.
Copy !req
616. - Must have been nuts for you.
- Oh, yeah. Nuts.
Copy !req
617. - Dave Thomas.
- Yes, yes.
Copy !req
618. Martin Short, Eugene Levy, of course,
we're seeing all the time.
Copy !req
619. What is your point?
Copy !req
620. Are you saying I'm not doing well?
Copy !req
621. - What are you up to these days?
- I'm in movies. Big movies.
Copy !req
622. - Oh, okay. Tell us about—
- All right?
Copy !req
623. - Okay.
- How about Speed?
Copy !req
624. I was in the movie with a piano.
Copy !req
625. A piano.
Copy !req
626. - We didn't see you in that anywhere.
- What?
Copy !req
627. - I don't want to call you a liar.
- Don't go there, Green.
Copy !req
628. - This is my first big show.
- I was in Speed, okay? I was cut out.
Copy !req
629. You're calling me a liar,
and I don't think that's a good idea.
Copy !req
630. You're not very experienced. You're green.
Copy !req
631. I'd like you to know I've actually done
shows before on the community channel.
Copy !req
632. I did 50, and they were an hour long.
Copy !req
633. I'm sorry!
Well, I've been in big movies!
Copy !req
634. Yeah, oh, Mr. SCTV!
Copy !req
635. Mr. SCTV!
Copy !req
636. - Mr. Big Time!
- Oh, shut up!
Copy !req
637. Just shut the hell up! Shut up!
Copy !req
638. You idiot!
Copy !req
639. - Sorry, man.
- I'm sorry, too.
Copy !req
640. - What's your name?
- My name's Tom.
Copy !req
641. - Really— This is different.
- I can't believe—
Copy !req
642. It was a really exciting time.
Copy !req
643. This was real television.
They aired the show on Halloween.
Copy !req
644. - Tom the bomb.
- Dan the Man.
Copy !req
645. Tom the bomb.
Copy !req
646. Punchbuggy, Joe Flaherty,
and Dan the Man.
Copy !req
647. Thank you very much.
See you next time, if there is one.
Copy !req
648. Okay.
Copy !req
649. Then we waited.
We waited almost a year.
Copy !req
650. Only to find out
they weren't gonna go forward.
Copy !req
651. They decided not to continue
with the show.
Copy !req
652. I was devastated.
Copy !req
653. I thought,
"How am I going to recover from this?"
Copy !req
654. But we didn't quit.
Copy !req
655. My friends and I, we persevered.
Copy !req
656. We looked at our options,
Copy !req
657. and there was a new network
called the Canadian Comedy Network,
Copy !req
658. which we managed
to get a small deal on to do 13 episodes.
Copy !req
659. We filmed them,
we shot them in a little theater
Copy !req
660. with the equipment
that the public access station lent us.
Copy !req
661. Hi, you're watching The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
662. And my name is Tom Green.
Copy !req
663. And this is Glenn Humplik right here.
Copy !req
664. - Hey, Tom.
Copy !req
665. Oh! Ow!
Copy !req
666. Oh!
Copy !req
667. Why are you filming this? Keep straight.
Copy !req
668. - Why are you filming this?
- Get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
669. Turn the camera off, you know?
Copy !req
670. - Can I stick my head in that?
- I don't think it's safe.
Copy !req
671. - Mommy.
- I'm not your mommy, to start off with.
Copy !req
672. I'm just gonna rub my face on the ground
here while you eat your brownie.
Copy !req
673. I'm not your mother.
Copy !req
674. I'm a man, not a woman.
Copy !req
675. We had to do something big,
so we did Hockey Guy in Chicago.
Copy !req
676. You sure I'm not bleeding?
Copy !req
677. All right! It's all right, buddy.
It's all right.
Copy !req
678. It's all right.
Copy !req
679. We did this bit called...
Copy !req
680. Funnier when I'm drunk.
Copy !req
681. You got to be careful and responsible
when you drink.
Copy !req
682. I know in my brain the segment is called
"Let's Get Drunk."
Copy !req
683. I've had, like, seven fucking jam jars
Copy !req
684. filled with rum and Coke.
Copy !req
685. We should...
Copy !req
686. Now, I'm like...
Copy !req
687. I remember at the time
when people saw that,
Copy !req
688. they couldn't believe
what they were looking at.
Copy !req
689. I like to say that this was real.
Copy !req
690. The first time somebody
really vomited on camera.
Copy !req
691. Pretty proud of that.
Copy !req
692. - Um...
Copy !req
693. There's nothing funny about this.
Copy !req
694. It's really embarrassing
buying condoms sometimes.
Copy !req
695. So I'm gonna bring the camera with me
just so it's less embarrassing.
Copy !req
696. Just gonna buy some of these condoms
Copy !req
697. because I'm planning on making love
to a woman tonight,
Copy !req
698. and I'm really excited about that.
Copy !req
699. So what are you guys up to today?
Copy !req
700. And we put all these episodes together.
Copy !req
701. It's just some cream
that came from my body.
Copy !req
702. And we made a show...
Copy !req
703. We will be having the cow brought in.
Copy !req
704. Humans usually drink milk out of glasses.
Copy !req
705. unlike anything
that anybody had ever seen.
Copy !req
706. I like the way milk tastes!
Copy !req
707. It was weird.
Copy !req
708. It's time to clean the city.
Copy !req
709. Oxyman...
Copy !req
710. Ha-ha! Pretty.
Copy !req
711. I can't clean anymore.
Copy !req
712. My English, it's very bad.
Copy !req
713. Oh, no, you're good at English.
Copy !req
714. So do the sailors on the boat,
do they do they masturbate a lot, or...
Copy !req
715. - Yeah.
- A lot of masturbating.
Copy !req
716. All right.
Copy !req
717. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
718. Oh, my God.
That's my parents right there.
Copy !req
719. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
720. - You okay?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
721. That bail was nuts.
Copy !req
722. I mean, The Slutmobile
was the classic episode.
Copy !req
723. It's 3:00 in the morning.
Copy !req
724. So to show my parents
how much I love them,
Copy !req
725. I've turned my parents' vehicle
into more than just a vehicle.
Copy !req
726. I've turned it into The Slutmobile.
Copy !req
727. This bit became infamous immediately,
Copy !req
728. and comedian friends of mine
still talk about it to this day.
Copy !req
729. He put "Slutmobile" on his dad's—
the hood of his car.
Copy !req
730. Oh, my God, on his parents'...
Copy !req
731. - And then hid in the bushes.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
732. He didn't just like,
"Let me fuck with random people."
Copy !req
733. My mommy and daddy.
Copy !req
734. Holy Christ.
Copy !req
735. - You like it, Dad? Come look at it.
- Go talk to your mother.
Copy !req
736. "Go talk to your mother."
Like what was I supposed to do?
Copy !req
737. - It's permanent. Come look at it.
- That's permanent.
Copy !req
738. - What do you mean?
- Walking down to the police right now.
Copy !req
739. You're walking?
Why can't you take the car?
Copy !req
740. Don't walk to work.
Copy !req
741. It's not obscene. It's... It's love.
Copy !req
742. Those women are in love, Dad.
Copy !req
743. You like it? Mom?
Copy !req
744. My mom has no intention
of talking to me on camera
Copy !req
745. about The Slutmobile.
Copy !req
746. Fortunately, she left a few messages
on my answering machine.
Copy !req
747. Tom, it's your mother.
Copy !req
748. Did you do that to our car?
Copy !req
749. Uh, Dad can't take the bus to work.
Copy !req
750. I'm gonna take The Slutmobile
to the bus stop.
Copy !req
751. Wow, there's a lot of people
at the bus stop.
Copy !req
752. I hope my dad's not embarrassed
by his Slutmobile.
Copy !req
753. Come on, I'll drive you to work.
Copy !req
754. - Come on.
- What?
Copy !req
755. That thing better be washed up.
Copy !req
756. I don't know how you got it on there.
Copy !req
757. It's permanent. It's a present.
Copy !req
758. Were you embarrassed?
Or did you think it was funny?
Copy !req
759. By this stage of the game,
I was beginning to think it was funny
Copy !req
760. because I'd see them laughing
and I thought, "Oh, okay."
Copy !req
761. Dad, don't worry
if your neighbors see The Slutmobile.
Copy !req
762. I mean, it's just your Slutmobile, right?
Copy !req
763. You understand, though,
that the reaction shot,
Copy !req
764. like, when you're not happy
about something is kind of funny, right?
Copy !req
765. - Well, not really.
- Like, you can't always be happy about it.
Copy !req
766. How many bits were there
that you don't like?
Copy !req
767. Do you remember?
Is there more than one?
Copy !req
768. Well, the one where you put
the frigging cow's head in my bed.
Copy !req
769. - Okay. Okay.
- That, I didn't like.
Copy !req
770. My parents loved the movie The Godfather.
Copy !req
771. What the hell is that?
Copy !req
772. You're going to get bloodstains
on this bedspread.
Copy !req
773. - That's not real.
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
774. Get it off this bed!
Copy !req
775. That was the first time
you got really mad.
Copy !req
776. I thought I was gonna throw up.
Copy !req
777. Tasty corn.
Copy !req
778. I don't want you doing that on my PA.
Copy !req
779. - Not allowed to do that?
- No.
Copy !req
780. But if you want to do it,
just pick up the phone,
Copy !req
781. hit the button that says "page."
Copy !req
782. Mom, I'm up at the front.
Mom, I don't know where you are.
Copy !req
783. We're not allowed cameras in the store,
so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Copy !req
784. My brother's lost.
I'm really worried about that.
Copy !req
785. - Please.
- Probably back by the girls' sweatpants.
Copy !req
786. - Doing some shopping, I guess?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
787. So how do you know where the—
Copy !req
788. - You're not allowed on our PA system.
- Oh, no?
Copy !req
789. - This way, please.
- Oh, okay.
Copy !req
790. - First of all, this is private property.
- Well, I'm gonna leave.
Copy !req
791. - Yeah, let's go over here.
- Okay.
Copy !req
792. I'll just go over here.
I'll just go this way.
Copy !req
793. There are certain bits
that people would just keep bringing up.
Copy !req
794. Where are you off to?
Copy !req
795. - Where I'm off to?
- Where are you going?
Copy !req
796. I don't know if it's any
of your damn business.
Copy !req
797. - I was just wondering where you're going.
- You do, eh?
Copy !req
798. - I'm wondering where you're going, yeah.
- You wonder?
Copy !req
799. - Yeah.
- That's too freaking bad, eh?
Copy !req
800. You don't want to tell me
where you're going?
Copy !req
801. None of your damn business
where I'm going.
Copy !req
802. People have been coming up to me on
the street the last 25 years, saying...
Copy !req
803. None of your damn business
where I'm going.
Copy !req
804. So where are you going then?
Copy !req
805. I don't think it's any
of your damn business!
Copy !req
806. - No, I know, it's not my business.
- No.
Copy !req
807. - I'm actually—
- Do I ask you where you're going?
Copy !req
808. Answer my question!
Where the hell are you going?
Copy !req
809. - Um...
- Answer my question.
Copy !req
810. Where are you going, eh? Hey?
Copy !req
811. When somebody come up and ask me
where I'm going,
Copy !req
812. that's nobody else's business but my own.
Copy !req
813. Russell Chuadary is here, everyone.
He's a butcher.
Copy !req
814. The episode we had a butcher as our guest
Copy !req
815. became a memorable episode
for quite a few people.
Copy !req
816. And it wasn't because of the butcher.
Copy !req
817. It was because I decided
to destroy the set.
Copy !req
818. It was flattering years later
Copy !req
819. to have Eric André
thank me for the inspiration.
Copy !req
820. - Set destruction is really your baby.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
821. Our producer, Merilyn Read,
Copy !req
822. was very upset after this
Copy !req
823. because we had not planned
on jumping through and destroying the set.
Copy !req
824. I was devastated for, like, 60 seconds.
Copy !req
825. And then I realized it's just part
of the whole scene here.
Copy !req
826. They didn't tell me it was gonna happen,
but they never told me anything anyway.
Copy !req
827. I just decided to jump through the set.
Copy !req
828. But the fact that that was not planned,
you know what I mean?
Copy !req
829. I just kinda got caught up in the moment.
Copy !req
830. And I didn't really realize it
until later.
Copy !req
831. People were always like,
"Where'd you get the idea for the show?"
Copy !req
832. But then just one day, I was like,
Copy !req
833. "Oh, that's from Tom's show. Tom Green."
Copy !req
834. And then I was like,
"Oh, I'm just biting Tom Green."
Copy !req
835. So thank you for your brain.
Copy !req
836. Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Copy !req
837. You look back at your life
and you go like, "Wow, holy crap."
Copy !req
838. "I put that on television."
Copy !req
839. I'm humping a dead moose.
Copy !req
840. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
841. You know what's kinda interesting
about this, if anything,
Copy !req
842. is that we were just kids
figuring this out on our own.
Copy !req
843. I am Scuba Hood.
Copy !req
844. I steal from the poor
and give to the rich.
Copy !req
845. There wasn't some adult there saying,
"This is how we do it."
Copy !req
846. "Write it like this and do it like this."
Copy !req
847. We did the show from 1994 till 1999,
Copy !req
848. before it was really being done
in any sort of professional capacity.
Copy !req
849. Turn the camera off.
Copy !req
850. - What's your name?
- Scuba Hood.
Copy !req
851. - No, what is your real name?
- Scuba Hood.
Copy !req
852. By making fun of an authority figure,
Copy !req
853. you're sort of punching up.
Copy !req
854. - What is his real name?
- Okay, I'll give you my real name.
Copy !req
855. Doug Fisher.
Copy !req
856. Doug...
Copy !req
857. Fisher.
Copy !req
858. - Get out of here.
- Just playing the game.
Copy !req
859. - What the hell you doing?
- It's my radio.
Copy !req
860. - Get off the field.
- Why are you pushing me?
Copy !req
861. This is a kid's league game.
Copy !req
862. - We're leaving. You're stalling us.
- Yeah, keep going.
Copy !req
863. - Turn the fucking thing off.
- Don't touch him.
Copy !req
864. Soccer fans are insane.
You're just a bunch of English hooligans!
Copy !req
865. Sorry about that.
Copy !req
866. Yeah!
Copy !req
867. Pierce...
Copy !req
868. Please welcome Tom Green!
Copy !req
869. You were down at Mike Bullard's show,
Copy !req
870. and Howard Lapides became your manager.
Copy !req
871. - Howard Lapides.
- May he rest in peace.
Copy !req
872. We were representing Mike Bullard,
Copy !req
873. and Mike had a talk show in Canada.
Copy !req
874. And Howard went up to deal with Mike
on a few things,
Copy !req
875. and Tom was a guest on Mike's show.
Copy !req
876. Howard and Tom clicked immediately.
Copy !req
877. Crowds of kids showed up with signs,
Copy !req
878. and they knew every bit that we'd done
on the Comedy Network.
Copy !req
879. He came back and told me about Tom,
Copy !req
880. and he said, "I want to sign this guy."
Copy !req
881. "There's something really special
about him."
Copy !req
882. I sent him some tapes
Copy !req
883. of some of our wildest moments
from the show,
Copy !req
884. and he marched them into MTV.
Copy !req
885. And MTV had never seen anything like it.
Copy !req
886. They flew me to Los Angeles.
Copy !req
887. They had me pitch the show in person.
Copy !req
888. Are we all going?
Copy !req
889. And the next thing you know,
I was being flown to New York.
Copy !req
890. And away we went.
Copy !req
891. It's The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
892. We had writers, producers,
camera people in New York City.
Copy !req
893. They built us a studio in Times Square.
Copy !req
894. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven.
Copy !req
895. My dreams were really coming true.
Copy !req
896. Before you know it,
the show was on the air.
Copy !req
897. - Wow, what an audience. Wow.
Copy !req
898. Holy doodle.
Copy !req
899. - Listen to them.
- Yeah, it's a great audience out there.
Copy !req
900. Listen to them roar.
Welcome to The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
901. I'm Tom, and this is Glenn Humplik.
Copy !req
902. Glenn Humplik!
Copy !req
903. A good friend of mine.
Copy !req
904. Been friends a long time.
Copy !req
905. - You're a good friend of mine, right?
- Good friend.
Copy !req
906. - And Phil right behind me in the window.
Copy !req
907. He laughs a lot.
Copy !req
908. We've been doing a show like this together
on cable access for a few years now.
Copy !req
909. - Four years now.
- Yeah, and now we're here on MTV.
Copy !req
910. It's really...
Copy !req
911. We couldn't believe
how quickly things took off.
Copy !req
912. You take your pants off your now.
Copy !req
913. You're clapping?
You're the only one clapping right now.
Copy !req
914. MTV.
Copy !req
915. Music Television.
Copy !req
916. MTV took the place of what
almost like the entire internet does now.
Copy !req
917. If you cared about music,
Copy !req
918. if you cared about pop culture,
Copy !req
919. you go to MTV.
Copy !req
920. So all young people would go watch MTV.
Everybody would watch MTV.
Copy !req
921. So it was sort of a shell shock, you know.
Copy !req
922. When you were 15 years old,
you worked at a hamburger chain.
Copy !req
923. - Why are you doing this?
- Just tell the people what you did.
Copy !req
924. I went for a...
Copy !req
925. A piss in this big bucket of pickles.
Copy !req
926. We're gonna teach you
how to play a game of pickle...
Copy !req
927. roulette.
Copy !req
928. Before the show,
Copy !req
929. I, uh, urinated in one of these pickle...
Copy !req
930. So this is lesson-teaching time.
Copy !req
931. If there's a yellow dot,
you've got urine, okay?
Copy !req
932. It really wasn't a game of roulette here.
Copy !req
933. We wanted to make sure you learned
your lesson, so actually, all the jars...
Copy !req
934. We're learning a lot
about camouflage today.
Copy !req
935. I'm in the bushes.
Copy !req
936. You can't see me in the bushes
because I'm camouflaged.
Copy !req
937. When the show got picked up by MTV,
Copy !req
938. it had to be one of the most exciting
moments of my entire life.
Copy !req
939. At least up to that point.
Copy !req
940. Maybe ever.
Copy !req
941. Put your mouth on it and suck it. Yes.
Copy !req
942. It's time for one of my favorite
sporting events.
Copy !req
943. It only happens once every four years.
Copy !req
944. It's the cockroach Olympics.
Copy !req
945. We were trying to smash
the conventions of traditional comedy.
Copy !req
946. I get it now, that sounds, like,
a bit naive and a bit arrogant
Copy !req
947. and youthful, wide-eyed, but you
got to have that kind of confidence.
Copy !req
948. You know what I love about your story
is that you did that self-hustle in an era
Copy !req
949. where it kind of wasn't as easy
as it is now.
Copy !req
950. Like, you hear kids complaining, like,
"How do I..."
Copy !req
951. It's like, bro, you've got this.
This is all you fucking need now.
Copy !req
952. You can make a TV show on this.
Copy !req
953. There's no excuse to not do it now,
but to do it—
Copy !req
954. - "What do I do?"
- How punk rock is it
Copy !req
955. that you did it in a time
where it was fucking so hard to do it?
Copy !req
956. Today, we're gonna investigate guarantees
and whether or not they're effective.
Copy !req
957. Oh, this has a one-year guarantee on it.
Copy !req
958. You will have to pay for it.
Copy !req
959. - Can I use my guarantee here?
- No, you can't.
Copy !req
960. - There's a 90-day guarantee on this?
- Everything is 90 days in the store.
Copy !req
961. - "For a period of one year."
- I understand that.
Copy !req
962. You can even
break your head too like that.
Copy !req
963. Thanks anyways.
Copy !req
964. If you walk out of the store,
I'm gonna f*** you up.
Copy !req
965. This says "guaranteed for a year."
Copy !req
966. We're making a movie about guarantees.
Copy !req
967. I wouldn't give a f ♪
if you were making it about Moses.
Copy !req
968. I will kick your m*********** ass
on camera.
Copy !req
969. Give me $50.
Copy !req
970. Tom is an extraordinary trailblazer.
Copy !req
971. He did a lot in comedy,
and he paved a lot of paths.
Copy !req
972. And he's a young guy.
That's the thing that's so astounding.
Copy !req
973. Everybody forgets that he really started
Copy !req
974. as a very young man
because he's a young guy now.
Copy !req
975. This is wild, man. This is where I lived
when I moved to New York City.
Copy !req
976. I lived right down the street here.
Copy !req
977. That used to be the studio right up there,
but the studio's not there anymore.
Copy !req
978. So it's pretty cool being back here.
Copy !req
979. - I absolutely loved your show.
- Yeah. It was right here.
Copy !req
980. - Did you watch it a lot? Cool, man.
- Oh, absolutely.
Copy !req
981. Undercutter pizza was amazing.
Copy !req
982. We're gonna follow that pizza guy
to his next delivery,
Copy !req
983. and we're gonna try and undercut
the competition.
Copy !req
984. - Did you order the pizza?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
985. What toppings did you guys want
on your pizza?
Copy !req
986. - Extra cheese.
- Extra cheese. Okay.
Copy !req
987. - Where's my pizza?
- This is it here.
Copy !req
988. No, we're from Undercutters.
Copy !req
989. - How much is yours?
- Get the hell away from me.
Copy !req
990. - You get it cheaper from me, though.
- I really don't give a f***. Get out.
Copy !req
991. Let the f***** dog out.
Copy !req
992. Yeah, but this is a new business—
Copy !req
993. I'll get a new business
that's right up your ass.
Copy !req
994. - Hey.
- Get your f***** out of here.
Copy !req
995. No, don't...
Copy !req
996. Don't...
Copy !req
997. - Get this s*** out of here now.
- Okay.
Copy !req
998. - We were gonna give it to you cheaper.
- Whatever.
Copy !req
999. Do me a favor, take your s ♪
and f*** somewhere else.
Copy !req
1000. I'm sorry. But, you know,
we just go up to where the pizza people—
Copy !req
1001. - Shut your f***** mouth and go!
- Okay.
Copy !req
1002. He's got a hammer. Go.
Copy !req
1003. - Is that a pizza you got there?
- You're Tom Green, right?
Copy !req
1004. Yes, sir.
How are you doing, my friend?
Copy !req
1005. By the time we got to MTV,
Copy !req
1006. we've been messing around
with a lot of stuff for a long time.
Copy !req
1007. We'd figured out a lot of things
that worked and what didn't work.
Copy !req
1008. Ten episodes of shows
that were edited out of six,
Copy !req
1009. seven years of experimentation.
Copy !req
1010. From New York,
Copy !req
1011. home to last year's Grammy Awards,
Copy !req
1012. it's the Late Show with David Letterman.
Copy !req
1013. We got a call from David Letterman.
Copy !req
1014. From MTV's
The Tom Green Show, Tom Green.
Copy !req
1015. He asked me to come on his show.
Copy !req
1016. I couldn't believe it.
Copy !req
1017. MTV couldn't believe it.
Copy !req
1018. David Letterman was the king of New York.
Copy !req
1019. He was the king of television,
Copy !req
1020. and I'm going on his show.
Copy !req
1021. Our next guest has a brand-new
television program on MTV.
Copy !req
1022. It's called The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
1023. Here's the host of The Tom Green Show,
Tom Green.
Copy !req
1024. - Tom, come on out here.
Copy !req
1025. Wow.
Copy !req
1026. - Welcome to the show.
- Wow.
Copy !req
1027. Welcome to... Well, just welcome.
How are you doing?
Copy !req
1028. - I got a new sweater for the show.
- It's nice. It's handsome.
Copy !req
1029. It's got that stripe.
What is it, Gap, 40 bucks?
Copy !req
1030. Something like that, yeah.
Copy !req
1031. I could actually say that I'd maybe
achieved my dream in life.
Copy !req
1032. - To be on the David Letterman show.
- Right.
Copy !req
1033. When you were a kid
growing up in Ottawa, in Canada,
Copy !req
1034. was this something
you always wanted to do?
Copy !req
1035. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Copy !req
1036. And we got picked up
by this network in Canada,
Copy !req
1037. and then MTV brought us down here
and it's crazy.
Copy !req
1038. I've been here for five,
no, two months now.
Copy !req
1039. This is like one of those
stories that you hear
Copy !req
1040. every couple of decades
and it's just, "Oh, my God,
Copy !req
1041. they picked a guy
out of obscurity in Canada,
Copy !req
1042. and the next thing you know,
he's on the MTV. And look out."
Copy !req
1043. Well, this is weird to be here,
you know, in New York City.
Copy !req
1044. I live three blocks away from here
in a hotel, and, um...
Copy !req
1045. In a hotel. And, um...
Copy !req
1046. But you guys picked me up in a car today
and brought me here in the car.
Copy !req
1047. - I only live three blocks away.
- All right.
Copy !req
1048. I thought maybe...
Copy !req
1049. And it was like it's a really long car.
Like, it's a gorgeous car.
Copy !req
1050. All tinted windows and everything.
Copy !req
1051. And I wanted to ask them to take me
around the block a few times
Copy !req
1052. - and have a little more time in it, but...
Copy !req
1053. I remember after the interview,
before I left the stage,
Copy !req
1054. I did sort of a literally
like a Mary Tyler Moore kind of pirouette.
Copy !req
1055. - I just looked around.
- Throw your hat in the air?
Copy !req
1056. Yeah, kind of.
I just didn't want to leave the stage.
Copy !req
1057. Wasn't the first American show
that I did, though.
Copy !req
1058. The first American show
that I did was Oprah.
Copy !req
1059. My friend Tom Segura recently talked about
this on The Joe Rogan Experience.
Copy !req
1060. When Tom Green was on, I couldn't...
It was stuff I couldn't even believe.
Copy !req
1061. Tom Green did Oprah.
Copy !req
1062. - Wow. Did he really?
- Oprah. Yes.
Copy !req
1063. Oprah was like...
Copy !req
1064. It was such a phenomena,
what was going on.
Copy !req
1065. The show was so big.
Copy !req
1066. Tom Green has been pulling pranks
on his own parents
Copy !req
1067. since his days on radio.
Copy !req
1068. How'd it start?
Copy !req
1069. Started doing a show on a community
TV station a few years ago, and...
Copy !req
1070. basically I realized
they were really good targets.
Copy !req
1071. And then what happened after
we did a few of these pranks to them,
Copy !req
1072. is I realized they actually
kind of secretly like it.
Copy !req
1073. Wrong.
This is where they got it wrong.
Copy !req
1074. They showed a lot of your...
Copy !req
1075. They showed clips from the show.
Copy !req
1076. You saw Oprah laughing
at all these clips, right?
Copy !req
1077. And then she surprised you guys with what?
Copy !req
1078. I love you very much,
Copy !req
1079. and I just want to send you somewhere
far away from me.
Copy !req
1080. You know, you can have some relax time.
Copy !req
1081. And I want to send you on a cruise,
a Renaissance cruise
Copy !req
1082. to Tahiti for 12 days, okay?
Copy !req
1083. - Yeah.
- It's true. It's really true.
Copy !req
1084. This is all—
Oprah helped set all this up.
Copy !req
1085. Oprah was so nice. She had—
Copy !req
1086. She put her arm around me
because she knew I was nervous, you know.
Copy !req
1087. - Yeah, she was lovely.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1088. Here I am at the University of Cincinnati,
Copy !req
1089. continuing to prove that everyone
loves the taste of Pepsi One.
Copy !req
1090. Ready? Open up.
Copy !req
1091. I couldn't believe it.
Copy !req
1092. Pepsi hired me to do Pepsi commercials
Copy !req
1093. directed by Todd Phillips,
Copy !req
1094. and they aired during the NCAA Finals.
Copy !req
1095. Millions and millions of new people
Copy !req
1096. discovered The Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
1097. Go! Go! Go! Go!
Copy !req
1098. It changed everything.
Copy !req
1099. Please welcome, everybody,
Janeane Garofalo.
Copy !req
1100. - Come out from under the desk, Janeane.
Copy !req
1101. You might not know this,
but Glenn Humplik is a huge fan of yours.
Copy !req
1102. And I, his. No offense.
You are the reason why I watch this show.
Copy !req
1103. Wow.
Copy !req
1104. Whenever you're ready!
Copy !req
1105. I just want to say thanks, Janeane,
for coming on the show.
Copy !req
1106. Thank you for having me on the show, Tom.
Copy !req
1107. - Thanks for getting in the porridge.
- I was my pleasure.
Copy !req
1108. Your show was the first of its kind.
Copy !req
1109. Like, you're a true original,
Copy !req
1110. and that was must-see television for us.
Copy !req
1111. - Oh, my God.
- I mean, I'm sure you realize it, but...
Copy !req
1112. - And it was blew our fucking minds.
- It blew our minds, man.
Copy !req
1113. At one point off the website,
I had a general email,
Copy !req
1114. and I got an email from Tony Hawk.
Copy !req
1115. I remember you were in shock
when I told you about that.
Copy !req
1116. Yeah, and then he came to New York
and did the show.
Copy !req
1117. He did the show.
Copy !req
1118. I remember that clear as day
because Tony Hawk was like my idol.
Copy !req
1119. Idol, yeah.
Copy !req
1120. He said, "I'll meet you at the studio."
I said, "What hotel are you staying at?"
Copy !req
1121. I said, "Do you want
to skate to the studio?"
Copy !req
1122. And he said, "I'm staying at this hotel."
Copy !req
1123. I said, "Okay, I'll meet you at the hotel
and we'll skate to the studio."
Copy !req
1124. And he said, "Sure." We skated through
New York to the studio, me and him.
Copy !req
1125. - A dream come true.
- Oh, my God, it was crazy.
Copy !req
1126. I couldn't even believe it.
Copy !req
1127. Pretty cool when your heroes
can become your friends.
Copy !req
1128. Tony and I hit it off,
Copy !req
1129. and he'd come on my talk shows
over the years,
Copy !req
1130. and we'd reminisce
about that first appearance.
Copy !req
1131. This is exciting for me
to talk about this stuff.
Copy !req
1132. - Me too.
- Remember we were doing the jumpy thing.
Copy !req
1133. Yeah.
Copy !req
1134. Wow.
Copy !req
1135. And you got on your stomach
and literally swam through
Copy !req
1136. and made me follow you,
and I was like, "This is insane."
Copy !req
1137. "We're gonna get arrested here."
Copy !req
1138. And you're like,
"Why did I email this goof?"
Copy !req
1139. - I love you, man.
- I love Tom Green.
Copy !req
1140. - When's your show gonna be on?
- What's that?
Copy !req
1141. When's your show? How come there aren't
any new episodes on Monday nights?
Copy !req
1142. It increasingly became more difficult
Copy !req
1143. to do jokes on the street
Copy !req
1144. because people were recognizing Tom
all over the place.
Copy !req
1145. Yeah! Tom Green rocks!
Copy !req
1146. - All right!
Copy !req
1147. Yeah!
Copy !req
1148. Yeah!
Copy !req
1149. We were gonna shoot a segment
out there today, but then...
Copy !req
1150. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
1151. - What's going on, man?
- Not much.
Copy !req
1152. - Cool, man.
- Happy St. Paddy's Day, man.
Copy !req
1153. You too, guys.
Copy !req
1154. That's why we shot
"The Bum Bum Song" in Seattle.
Copy !req
1155. Because we had to take our whole crew
and fly to cities
Copy !req
1156. where there weren't
as many people on the streets.
Copy !req
1157. We wrote and recorded a song, Glenn.
Copy !req
1158. I have high hopes
that this song will place me
Copy !req
1159. alongside the likes of Bryan Adams
and Celine Dion.
Copy !req
1160. And we've actually made a video
for the song, Glenn.
Copy !req
1161. Okay.
Copy !req
1162. And we're going to world-premiere it
right now.
Copy !req
1163. The following is your first
shocking glimpse into the latest
Copy !req
1164. top secret project from one
of the world's most notorious stars.
Copy !req
1165. We dropped our song
that we recorded three days ago
Copy !req
1166. off in the studio
at a radio station here in Seattle.
Copy !req
1167. And it just hit number two.
Copy !req
1168. MTV took note.
Copy !req
1169. Before we went back,
we shot a video the next day in Seattle
Copy !req
1170. for "The Bum Bum Song."
Copy !req
1171. We went on our show that week
and I said...
Copy !req
1172. Call the radio station, say,
"I want to hear 'The Bum Bum Song.'"
Copy !req
1173. And call Total Request Live and say,
Copy !req
1174. "Carson, Carson, I want to hear
'The Bum Bum Song.'"
Copy !req
1175. Okay?
Copy !req
1176. The very next day, "The Bum Bum Song"
was the number one song
Copy !req
1177. on Carson Daly's Total Request Live.
Copy !req
1178. It was the number one song
all week that week.
Copy !req
1179. Now, maybe you're not expecting that
then this new emerging artist, Eminem,
Copy !req
1180. will come out
and make his big single all about it.
Copy !req
1181. Referencing your moose humping
and your "Bum Bum Song."
Copy !req
1182. Let's check out what that little joker
Tom Green has to offer for us.
Copy !req
1183. Everyone thinks they're the real
Slim Shady, but they're not.
Copy !req
1184. Everyone thinks I'm a stupid dummy.
My mom, my dad.
Copy !req
1185. But I'm gonna show them.
I'm the real Slim Shady.
Copy !req
1186. - Please, say "I'm the real Slim Shady."
- I'm the real Slim Shady.
Copy !req
1187. You're a liar!
Copy !req
1188. After about six months,
Copy !req
1189. we couldn't shoot
in New York City anymore,
Copy !req
1190. so we moved to Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1191. Welcome to the show.
Copy !req
1192. I don't know if you noticed that things
look a little bit different here
Copy !req
1193. but I'm in California right now.
Copy !req
1194. We've actually been doing the shows
in New York City for the past year,
Copy !req
1195. and I get a sense
that people might be a little bit worried
Copy !req
1196. because they don't see Glenn
and they don't see Phil,
Copy !req
1197. and they're probably saying,
Copy !req
1198. "Maybe Glenn and Phil
won't be able to make it to the show
Copy !req
1199. because they live in Canada."
Copy !req
1200. Yeah. You're worried, right?
Copy !req
1201. That's why you all did
that sound with your mouths.
Copy !req
1202. Wait, what's that?
Copy !req
1203. Oh, they're here? Oh, okay.
Copy !req
1204. Let's welcome, all the way
from a little place called Canada...
Copy !req
1205. Tonight, I invite you to listen
to an interesting story.
Copy !req
1206. The story of an adventure
with Miss Monica Lewinsky.
Copy !req
1207. The moment that I realized
that Tom was one of my heroes
Copy !req
1208. was when he did a show
with Monica Lewinsky.
Copy !req
1209. We just landed in Ottawa.
We're here with Monica.
Copy !req
1210. For the longest time,
Copy !req
1211. Monica was the subject
of a lot of ridicule,
Copy !req
1212. and people just made fun of her
because, you know, she was the hot topic,
Copy !req
1213. and it was easy to punch down.
Copy !req
1214. Today is Monica Day, of course,
across the United States.
Copy !req
1215. Is it a federal holiday, I think?
Copy !req
1216. - Probably.
- All zippers at half-mast.
Copy !req
1217. I don't know.
Copy !req
1218. This is my parents' house, okay?
Copy !req
1219. - Dad?
Copy !req
1220. Monica, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1221. Hi.
Copy !req
1222. I mean, I know a lot of people
are probably wondering
Copy !req
1223. why is Monica Lewinsky in Ottawa with Tom?
Copy !req
1224. We can't really answer
that question today.
Copy !req
1225. We're gonna answer that question tomorrow
at Le P'Tit Castor restaurant.
Copy !req
1226. - Small Beaver?
- Yeah, the Little Beaver restaurant.
Copy !req
1227. We can't talk about anything more now.
Copy !req
1228. There's paparazzi showing up at the house.
We got to go.
Copy !req
1229. - Is he still behind us?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1230. If we could ask you
to stop following us now.
Copy !req
1231. Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
1232. Can't you just leave us alone?
Copy !req
1233. Leave us be! You're scaring my mother!
Copy !req
1234. You're scaring my mother!
Copy !req
1235. Such a play into how
the news media is just so desperate
Copy !req
1236. and looking for a story.
Copy !req
1237. And Tom screwed around with them
so much on that.
Copy !req
1238. Monica Lewinsky is making headlines
Copy !req
1239. with a surprise appearance
north of the border.
Copy !req
1240. Welcome, Monica Lewinsky.
Copy !req
1241. Monica Lewinsky.
Copy !req
1242. We love you, Monica!
Copy !req
1243. There's a way to be a good person
and still be goofy,
Copy !req
1244. and Tom Green's that guy.
Copy !req
1245. Whoo!
Copy !req
1246. Osteoporosis rules!
Copy !req
1247. I-27.
Copy !req
1248. Whoa!
Copy !req
1249. Crotch!
Copy !req
1250. Ball! Some sex.
Copy !req
1251. Joshua!
Copy !req
1252. Thank you.
Copy !req
1253. Oh!
Copy !req
1254. - Oh, my...
- Oh, wow.
Copy !req
1255. - What are the odds on that happening?
- That is embarrassing.
Copy !req
1256. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
1257. No, no, because I wanted
to talk to you, Conan,
Copy !req
1258. about something
that's very important to me.
Copy !req
1259. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1260. Camouflage.
Copy !req
1261. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1262. Sometimes I think, you know,
I feel like maybe I should have
Copy !req
1263. just showed up and just been
a normal human or something.
Copy !req
1264. Yeah!
Copy !req
1265. Conan did tell me that it was
one of his favorite appearances ever.
Copy !req
1266. - It was hilarious.
- But sometimes,
Copy !req
1267. I think when I'd go on the shows,
Copy !req
1268. I would just try to go so crazy
Copy !req
1269. because I was so desperate to make it work
Copy !req
1270. because I was so terrified
that it wasn't gonna work...
Copy !req
1271. - Right.
- ... that I would maybe overdo it.
Copy !req
1272. You know, just...
Copy !req
1273. I thought you guys would have laughed
at the bacon thing, now I'm embarrassed.
Copy !req
1274. - We did laugh.
- I was thinking,
Copy !req
1275. I wanted to come out
and do something really wacky.
Copy !req
1276. And I started doing wacky thing
with the bacon.
Copy !req
1277. I'm realizing I'm sitting
between Ed Grimley and the Jerk.
Copy !req
1278. - First of all, you have—
- What else is in the box?
Copy !req
1279. - Yeah, maybe there's more stuff.
- I mean, the box was just the box.
Copy !req
1280. I was gonna do a robot.
I was gonna, like...
Copy !req
1281. Well, I'm glad you didn't do it.
Copy !req
1282. Now listen...
Copy !req
1283. Please welcome Tom Green.
Copy !req
1284. Look at that.
Copy !req
1285. That's pretty good.
Copy !req
1286. Lookit. All my cans on the ground.
Copy !req
1287. MTV picking up The Tom Green Show
Copy !req
1288. opened up an entire world
of possibilities for me.
Copy !req
1289. Your dreams are happening,
but then all of a sudden,
Copy !req
1290. you're getting pulled in all different
directions from MTV executives,
Copy !req
1291. from movie studios,
Copy !req
1292. from advertisers.
Copy !req
1293. I have to say, Starfish,
that I am honored...
Copy !req
1294. It was around that time
I got a call from Drew Barrymore.
Copy !req
1295. Starfish, where are you going?
Copy !req
1296. At the time, I was somewhat amazed
Copy !req
1297. that Drew Barrymore would reach out to me
because she was a fan
Copy !req
1298. of The Tom Green Show,
and the Chad was born.
Copy !req
1299. Chad.
Copy !req
1300. I remember after working together
on the set of Charlie's Angels,
Copy !req
1301. I asked her if she'd like to go out
for a bite to eat after work.
Copy !req
1302. And we did.
Copy !req
1303. I have to go now.
Copy !req
1304. We kind of sort of hit it off
right away, pretty much.
Copy !req
1305. We had a lot of laughs together.
Copy !req
1306. We met on Charlie's Angels, actually.
Copy !req
1307. She asked me to be in that movie,
and then we met.
Copy !req
1308. It's going to the next level.
Copy !req
1309. Oh, God.
Copy !req
1310. Playing a little guitar over here.
Copy !req
1311. Oh, no, Glenn, don't say that!
Copy !req
1312. I thought you were my confidante.
Copy !req
1313. Like...
Copy !req
1314. Well, um, I got lucky.
Copy !req
1315. I got a disease, right?
Copy !req
1316. Cancer, right?
Copy !req
1317. - Testicular cancer, right?
- Yep.
Copy !req
1318. And that's what today's show is all about.
Copy !req
1319. It's a pretty delicate thing
to talk about, you know?
Copy !req
1320. Yeah.
Copy !req
1321. We did our final episode
of The Tom Green Show for MTV,
Copy !req
1322. documenting my battle with cancer.
Copy !req
1323. And you guys flew down to Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1324. Then the doctor came to me
after looking at my testicle
Copy !req
1325. and he said that the cancer
might have spread to my lymph nodes,
Copy !req
1326. and I'd have to go in
for a second major surgery,
Copy !req
1327. where they cut me wide open and took
my intestines and lymph nodes out.
Copy !req
1328. When he told me
that he wanted to do a show about it,
Copy !req
1329. I was like... At first, I didn't get it.
Copy !req
1330. I was like, "Why would you
want to do that?"
Copy !req
1331. That's the scar
where my testicle was removed.
Copy !req
1332. It was pulled out of my body right there.
Copy !req
1333. What did you think about the decision
to film my cancer and air it?
Copy !req
1334. Well, at first I didn't want you to
because I thought,
Copy !req
1335. gosh, you know, this is gonna be
not a pleasant experience for you.
Copy !req
1336. And did you really want a bunch of cameras
and people around
Copy !req
1337. when you're going through
something like this?
Copy !req
1338. Back then, I had two testicles
at that time.
Copy !req
1339. - Mm-hmm.
- And, uh...
Copy !req
1340. now I have one.
Copy !req
1341. It's kind of gone to the middle,
and it's the middle one now, I call it.
Copy !req
1342. I call it the middle one, but, uh...
Copy !req
1343. I thought I was gonna die
because I just figured if I was so unlucky
Copy !req
1344. to get testicular cancer
at that moment in time,
Copy !req
1345. when everything was going so well...
Copy !req
1346. - Mm-hm.
that I figured I'm obviously...
Copy !req
1347. Obviously, I'm gonna die too.
Copy !req
1348. The odds are against you, eh?
Copy !req
1349. - You want to wear suspenders?
- Probably a belt.
Copy !req
1350. - It's a good-looking suit, though, right?
- It's a beautiful suit.
Copy !req
1351. Let's got a nice picture of it.
Copy !req
1352. A nice last picture of me alive
with my mother in a nice suit.
Copy !req
1353. - Tom, you're going to live.
- What's that?
Copy !req
1354. I felt it was easier
to deal with the cancer diagnosis
Copy !req
1355. by sort of making a joke out of it.
Copy !req
1356. Yes, you did. And I didn't like that.
Copy !req
1357. - Mm-hmm.
- Because I didn't find it funny.
Copy !req
1358. - Hi there.
- Hi.
Copy !req
1359. I have cancer.
Copy !req
1360. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1361. We're having a big celebration tonight.
Copy !req
1362. - Yeah.
- To celebrate the cancer
Copy !req
1363. that I found out
that I have five days ago.
Copy !req
1364. - What kind?
- Uh, testicular, actually.
Copy !req
1365. I had one of my balls removed
four days...
Copy !req
1366. And, uh, they think they got most of it,
although it spread to the lymph nodes.
Copy !req
1367. So I'm gonna be having an operation
Copy !req
1368. where they're gonna remove my lymph nodes,
and hopefully I'm not gonna die.
Copy !req
1369. - Do you want to see the wine list?
Copy !req
1370. Absolutely, we want to see the wine list.
Copy !req
1371. - Thanks, Mom.
- See you later.
Copy !req
1372. See you in an hour or so.
Copy !req
1373. - Thanks.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1374. Take care. Good luck.
Copy !req
1375. We now can bring the intestines
out of the abdomen.
Copy !req
1376. - That's my body.
- Yeah. That was it.
Copy !req
1377. I was kind of hoping
it would have been funnier inside my body.
Copy !req
1378. Look what he did.
Copy !req
1379. I mean, he taped a special for MTV
Copy !req
1380. that nobody would have ever thought
about doing back then,
Copy !req
1381. and made his whole audience
and many and millions of more people
Copy !req
1382. aware of what this was—
Of what this was all about.
Copy !req
1383. It looks like the lymph nodes appear
to be all negative as far as we can tell.
Copy !req
1384. Nothing grossly was involved,
and we were able to save the nerves.
Copy !req
1385. I guess he was really worried
about being able to ejaculate properly.
Copy !req
1386. I think that should be no problem.
Copy !req
1387. It wasn't Tom thinking,
"Hey, I'm gonna save a lot of lives."
Copy !req
1388. It was Tom being Tom.
Copy !req
1389. Just Tom being very innovative,
Copy !req
1390. wanting to share his life
with his audience.
Copy !req
1391. I guess what we're looking at right here,
Tom's testicle.
Copy !req
1392. Cancerous tumor.
Copy !req
1393. - You were playing with my testicle?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1394. The doctor let me play with it.
Copy !req
1395. Remember the old days
when you used to play with my testicles?
Copy !req
1396. Well, seems to be okay.
Copy !req
1397. He got television and gets television
Copy !req
1398. more than any comedian
that I can think of
Copy !req
1399. off the top of my head.
Copy !req
1400. That's really when my life really changed,
Copy !req
1401. because there was a lot of extreme pain,
a long recovery.
Copy !req
1402. It really did affect my mental health.
Copy !req
1403. It was terrifying
to have to battle cancer,
Copy !req
1404. especially at this time
when everything was going so well.
Copy !req
1405. You know, your life flashing
before your eyes.
Copy !req
1406. Your entire life.
Copy !req
1407. I've been working on this show.
Copy !req
1408. Finally, I'd made it to the mountaintop.
Copy !req
1409. And, just kidding!
Let's pull the rug out from under you.
Copy !req
1410. And it felt very unfair.
Copy !req
1411. I prayed to God
that they would let me survive.
Copy !req
1412. And, uh, I guess they heard me,
because here I am.
Copy !req
1413. Cancer is no longer something
I think about every day,
Copy !req
1414. but in recent interviews,
I've had the chance to
Copy !req
1415. reflect on the profound impact
that it's had on my life.
Copy !req
1416. It did change my perspective on work.
Copy !req
1417. You remember the line where,
you know, seconds earlier,
Copy !req
1418. the most important thing to you
was the show and how are we gonna,
Copy !req
1419. you know, get the ratings up,
or how are we gonna get this movie going,
Copy !req
1420. or all these things
that seem so, so important.
Copy !req
1421. And then immediately,
that just all goes silent.
Copy !req
1422. But then, Tom, you used it for good
Copy !req
1423. and you went down
to what university in Florida?
Copy !req
1424. - Yeah. University of Florida.
- And...
Copy !req
1425. In Gainesville. Go, Gators.
Copy !req
1426. - You filmed that.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1427. 19,000 people came out.
Copy !req
1428. I just had cancer.
Copy !req
1429. Cancer, cancer.
Copy !req
1430. Testicular cancer.
I had a ball removed.
Copy !req
1431. I had one of my nuts removed.
Copy !req
1432. - Yeah, that's right.
Copy !req
1433. Yeah.
Copy !req
1434. You support Tom Green's nuts.
Copy !req
1435. Good for you, yeah,
it's a nice thing that it turned out well
Copy !req
1436. and a nice that you called
attention to this.
Copy !req
1437. How many people have told you
Copy !req
1438. - that you saved their life?
- Hundreds.
Copy !req
1439. Even though the trauma of cancer
had not subsided,
Copy !req
1440. I put my game face on, and as planned,
Copy !req
1441. accompanied Drew to the Academy Awards.
Copy !req
1442. The red carpet's
most courageous appearance
Copy !req
1443. undoubtedly belonged
to MTV comic Tom Green,
Copy !req
1444. who joined girlfriend
Drew Barrymore at the Oscars
Copy !req
1445. just five days after surgery
in his fight against cancer.
Copy !req
1446. It feels a little weird for me.
Copy !req
1447. It makes me feel a little sad, actually,
just thinking how much time has passed,
Copy !req
1448. you know, and how long ago that was.
Copy !req
1449. And after I got sick, okay,
Copy !req
1450. I was physically drained.
Copy !req
1451. Energy-wise, drained.
Copy !req
1452. Not just—
Copy !req
1453. Not just emotionally drained,
but physically drained.
Copy !req
1454. The show had gone off the air.
Copy !req
1455. There was now sometimes
negative media coverage of me,
Copy !req
1456. which was, I found
emotionally difficult to deal with.
Copy !req
1457. And I...
Copy !req
1458. became a different person
Copy !req
1459. than the person that I'm looking at there.
Copy !req
1460. And I look at that person and I go...
Copy !req
1461. I remember being that guy, you know?
Copy !req
1462. - I had to quit the show.
- I know you did.
Copy !req
1463. And then all those people lost their jobs.
Copy !req
1464. Sometimes people think
the show got canceled.
Copy !req
1465. I know, well, people think
whatever they want, even if they know.
Copy !req
1466. - The show didn't get canceled.
- No, I know it didn't get canceled.
Copy !req
1467. Taking time off while recovering
Copy !req
1468. meant MTV no longer
had its top comedy series.
Copy !req
1469. So they picked up a new show,
called Jackass.
Copy !req
1470. Never forget, there would be no Jackass
if there was no Tom Green.
Copy !req
1471. Don't fucking forget that. Nobody.
Copy !req
1472. I actually sat at my VCR,
Copy !req
1473. um, recording Tom's shows.
Copy !req
1474. And when the commercial break
would come on,
Copy !req
1475. I would hit pause and I'd wait there.
Copy !req
1476. And then when the show came back on,
I would unpause it
Copy !req
1477. so as to record the complete
Tom Green season
Copy !req
1478. without commercials.
Copy !req
1479. But he did the old-man skit
before Jackass did.
Copy !req
1480. Nobody lets an old man shop anymore.
Copy !req
1481. Get up and get out.
Copy !req
1482. I just want to do my groceries.
Copy !req
1483. Help me!
Copy !req
1484. He did a lot of stuff before Jackass did.
Copy !req
1485. And then
Todd Phillips' Road Trip came out,
Copy !req
1486. and my life changed in other ways.
Copy !req
1487. Can I feed Mitch?
Copy !req
1488. Yes, actually, you can. You can feed him.
But not till tomorrow.
Copy !req
1489. There's a brown box full of mice
next to his cage.
Copy !req
1490. Give him one tomorrow.
Copy !req
1491. Somebody's gonna die tomorrow.
Copy !req
1492. That's right.
Copy !req
1493. One of you is marked for death.
Copy !req
1494. And first thing tomorrow morning,
Copy !req
1495. the chosen one
will experience nature's wrath.
Copy !req
1496. The movie Road Trip was a massive success,
Copy !req
1497. grossing $118 million worldwide.
Copy !req
1498. I didn't lie.
Copy !req
1499. Every major studio
was sending me scripts
Copy !req
1500. and offering me lucrative movie deals.
Copy !req
1501. I signed on to several films,
Copy !req
1502. and my agents negotiated for more money
than I'd ever imagined.
Copy !req
1503. I'm not the one who needs the money.
Why should I assume the risk?
Copy !req
1504. While reading all these scripts,
Copy !req
1505. we got the idea of writing our own comedy.
Copy !req
1506. The comedy went on
to confuse a lot of people.
Copy !req
1507. but looking back on it now,
Copy !req
1508. I wouldn't have changed a thing.
Copy !req
1509. Freddy Got Fingered, by the way,
is out a week from today.
Copy !req
1510. - Not only do you act in it...
- Freddy Got Fingered.
Copy !req
1511. And you co-wrote it, you directed it.
Where do we get the title?
Copy !req
1512. Freddy Got Fingered?
Copy !req
1513. Uh, it kind of gives away
the ending a little bit.
Copy !req
1514. - I'd rather not say here.
- Then let's not talk about it.
Copy !req
1515. Tom came in and he said,
"I want to direct this."
Copy !req
1516. Tom was very persuasive.
Copy !req
1517. We said, "You know what, Tom?"
Copy !req
1518. "We're gonna send you over to New Regency
Copy !req
1519. and let you have the conversation
with Sanford and the guys over there."
Copy !req
1520. Oh, we're having roast beef?
Copy !req
1521. - I'm eating a chicken sandwich.
- No, you're not.
Copy !req
1522. Holy shit, this is crazy.
I'm a 28-year-old man.
Copy !req
1523. I should be able to eat
a chicken sandwich if I want.
Copy !req
1524. Tom went and met them,
Copy !req
1525. and we got the call at the end of the day
that they agreed to let Tom direct it.
Copy !req
1526. I'm really excited about the movie,
Freddy Got Fingered.
Copy !req
1527. You wrote and directed the film?
Copy !req
1528. And you know how to do that stuff?
Copy !req
1529. You know... kinda.
Copy !req
1530. You know,
I go back to the same thing as Tom,
Copy !req
1531. always goes into things with a vision.
Copy !req
1532. And even if we get a little sidetracked,
or the producers get a little sidetracked,
Copy !req
1533. he's kind of the one
that kinda pulled you back in
Copy !req
1534. because he's got a vision.
Copy !req
1535. I wasn't expecting that to happen.
Copy !req
1536. That's mainly what it is.
I want to surprise people.
Copy !req
1537. I want people to sit down
and not know what to expect.
Copy !req
1538. I wanted to do my own stunt in the movie,
paying homage to Buster Keaton's stunt
Copy !req
1539. in Steamboat Bill, Jr.
Copy !req
1540. The studio definitely did not
want me to do it.
Copy !req
1541. The studio said absolutely not.
Insurance said absolutely not.
Copy !req
1542. Tom insisted that he do his own stunt.
Copy !req
1543. I think ultimately,
it was the right way to go.
Copy !req
1544. Studio, producers,
they all have to make that final decision.
Copy !req
1545. - They'll ask my opinion—
- But we're not gonna ask them.
Copy !req
1546. You know they're all
gonna be down here.
Copy !req
1547. - I don't want him to do it.
- Everybody else does.
Copy !req
1548. Three, two, one!
Copy !req
1549. That's a rush, man.
Copy !req
1550. I was hosting Saturday Night Live
Copy !req
1551. still recovering from cancer surgeries
Copy !req
1552. and in unbearable physical pain.
Copy !req
1553. The pain burned up and down my legs
and through my spine all day,
Copy !req
1554. every day.
Copy !req
1555. The pain was a secret.
Copy !req
1556. This was the moment
I'd worked so hard for.
Copy !req
1557. There was no time to rest.
Copy !req
1558. It's Saturday Night Live.
Copy !req
1559. When I hosted Saturday Night Live,
obviously I was completely, like...
Copy !req
1560. I couldn't even believe that I was hosting
Saturday Night Live.
Copy !req
1561. You were on Saturday Night Live.
Copy !req
1562. - That's true.
- That was a lot of fun, actually.
Copy !req
1563. I want to say hello
to my fiancée here, Drew.
Copy !req
1564. Despite being in a lot of pain
from my cancer surgery,
Copy !req
1565. we still had a crazy show.
Copy !req
1566. We did a fake wedding with Drew.
Copy !req
1567. It was one of the wild
and crazy episodes of the year.
Copy !req
1568. And I was thinking that instead
of doing it in the summer,
Copy !req
1569. we get married here tonight.
Copy !req
1570. Tom, we shoulda talked about this.
Copy !req
1571. Don't say no.
Copy !req
1572. Don't say no.
I got the cake. I got the arch.
Copy !req
1573. You said you would marry me,
and I thought it'd be fun to do it on TV.
Copy !req
1574. And you said you would support me
when you said—
Copy !req
1575. And you call this support?
Copy !req
1576. Embarrassing me
in front of all these people?
Copy !req
1577. In front of America?
Copy !req
1578. This is public humiliation!
Copy !req
1579. - All right.
- You're making me look like a buffoon!
Copy !req
1580. - A buffoon!
- Okay, okay, okay.
Copy !req
1581. Okay, I'll marry you right here on TV.
Copy !req
1582. - I think he's got a vision.
- Yeah, exactly.
Copy !req
1583. Nobody teaches you how to act
when your dreams come true.
Copy !req
1584. But the world changes overnight
and so do the rules.
Copy !req
1585. After our make-believe wedding
on Saturday Night Live,
Copy !req
1586. Drew and I got married for real.
Copy !req
1587. I was happy to be married,
but things were not going well.
Copy !req
1588. Both Drew and I were going through
a lot of our own individual stresses
Copy !req
1589. in our careers,
Copy !req
1590. and with the cancer
and the media scrutiny,
Copy !req
1591. it may have just been too much to bear.
Copy !req
1592. It took its toll, but I survived.
Copy !req
1593. Our marriage did not.
Copy !req
1594. What is the most disgusting film of 2001?
Copy !req
1595. The champion is Freddy Got Fingered
with Tom Green.
Copy !req
1596. It's a vomitorium of a movie,
Copy !req
1597. starring Green as Gord,
Copy !req
1598. who makes it his life's work
to freak out his dad,
Copy !req
1599. played with teeth-gnashing scorn
by Rip Torn.
Copy !req
1600. The reaction to Freddy Got Fingered
was swift and brutal.
Copy !req
1601. I was shocked at how mean
these critics could be.
Copy !req
1602. It was hurtful and devastating.
Copy !req
1603. They took aim not just at the movie,
but at me.
Copy !req
1604. Why?
Copy !req
1605. I was just a kid in his 20s
Copy !req
1606. who was trying to make
a goofy and strange movie.
Copy !req
1607. Somehow, it felt personal.
Copy !req
1608. There's such a formula
to making comedy movies in Hollywood
Copy !req
1609. that people have become used to watching
a certain format of comedy movie.
Copy !req
1610. And if you do something that's not that,
it rubs them the wrong way.
Copy !req
1611. Favorite Tom Green moment?
Obviously all of Freddy Got Fingered.
Copy !req
1612. My favorite movie in the world
is Freddy Got Fingered.
Copy !req
1613. I saw Freddy Got Fingered
and fell in love.
Copy !req
1614. Man, I love him. He's fucking crazy.
And it is...
Copy !req
1615. It was like he was doing shit
that people are doing now,
Copy !req
1616. like full blast on YouTube,
and I fucking love that, how he's like...
Copy !req
1617. I think he's ahead of his time.
Copy !req
1618. A big part of the reason why the movie
got reviewed badly was, A, it's shocking.
Copy !req
1619. Cut the cord.
Copy !req
1620. But also,
I was very overexposed at the time.
Copy !req
1621. You know, I just had cancer.
Copy !req
1622. You know, I was all over the media.
Copy !req
1623. And rather than putting out a nice, easy,
accessible film that mainstream people
Copy !req
1624. would be able to process,
Copy !req
1625. you put out this button-pushing,
polarizing movie.
Copy !req
1626. My daughter and her two friends,
it's their favorite movie.
Copy !req
1627. Being a guest on Howard Stern
was always stressful
Copy !req
1628. because you never know
how he's gonna come at you.
Copy !req
1629. Let's just say
it was a difficult conversation,
Copy !req
1630. having to navigate through, uh,
Copy !req
1631. a lot of intense questioning
from him and Robin
Copy !req
1632. without looking like I was too upset
Copy !req
1633. about what had happened
with Freddy Got Fingered.
Copy !req
1634. When your movie bombed...
Copy !req
1635. - It really bombed too.
- And I'm sure that—
Copy !req
1636. It was like a Scud missile
gone the wrong way.
Copy !req
1637. I thought it was funny.
Copy !req
1638. Yeah, no, it was a disaster.
Copy !req
1639. Eight Raspberry nominations.
I won five.
Copy !req
1640. - And everybody gets a Raspberry Award.
- It's interesting, sure.
Copy !req
1641. It doesn't mean
you have to bring it up, though.
Copy !req
1642. I was the first actor, "actor"
Copy !req
1643. in the history of Hollywood, "Hollywood,"
to accept a Raspberry.
Copy !req
1644. I accepted all five. I went down.
Copy !req
1645. - Sylvester Stallone never gets his.
- I brought my own red carpet.
Copy !req
1646. They must have been thrilled.
Copy !req
1647. They were very happy.
Copy !req
1648. Why did you decide to show up?
You're the first star to ever show up.
Copy !req
1649. Well, this is an exciting day for me,
you know?
Copy !req
1650. I, uh, I made a great movie, you know.
Copy !req
1651. And I set out to make a crazy movie,
and here I am.
Copy !req
1652. I'm getting a lot of attention for it,
and it's exciting.
Copy !req
1653. I'm getting acclaim
that I'm overwhelmed by.
Copy !req
1654. You know, when I made this movie,
Copy !req
1655. I didn't think
that I was gonna get this much,
Copy !req
1656. um, you know, praise and adulation.
Copy !req
1657. For a guy like me who, you know,
Copy !req
1658. was living in my parents' basement
just about four years ago.
Copy !req
1659. And now to be up against
all these big movie stars
Copy !req
1660. and things like that
at a real awards show,
Copy !req
1661. this is certainly very overwhelming.
Copy !req
1662. The New York Times
did give it a good review.
Copy !req
1663. I saw it
and thought it was really interesting.
Copy !req
1664. I thought that it was
conceptually interesting,
Copy !req
1665. and I thought it wasn't
just gross-out humor, in a way,
Copy !req
1666. but that there was a kind of rigor
and inventiveness
Copy !req
1667. and ingenuity
to some of these comic set pieces.
Copy !req
1668. And I said that I thought it was, um,
Copy !req
1669. a work of art.
Copy !req
1670. Are you serious?
Copy !req
1671. Get out of the car, Glenn.
Get out of the car.
Copy !req
1672. I swear to God, I'm gonna fucking cry.
Copy !req
1673. Yeah, I hope you're not razzing me.
Copy !req
1674. Obviously, I should kill this shoot
and get back to the office.
Copy !req
1675. Howard Lapides
is the best manager in the business.
Copy !req
1676. No idea what's going on.
Copy !req
1677. I'm hosting Letterman.
Copy !req
1678. What?
Copy !req
1679. When?
Copy !req
1680. I'm getting on a plane today.
I'm hosting fucking Letterman.
Copy !req
1681. Holy shit.
Copy !req
1682. - The dream come true, man.
- Yeah, no, I'm seriously—
Copy !req
1683. I'm embarrassed
because I'm, like, tearing up.
Copy !req
1684. When am I doing it? Tomorrow?
Copy !req
1685. I'm doing it tomorrow!
Copy !req
1686. Great, so not only am I hosting Letterman,
Copy !req
1687. I'm bombing on Letterman.
Copy !req
1688. Well, that's a good rehearsal.
Fuck this pit.
Copy !req
1689. Get ready for my new show.
Copy !req
1690. If it's as bad as this...
Copy !req
1691. Well, tell them I'll do it.
Copy !req
1692. - My fucking God.
- Yeah!
Copy !req
1693. - Oh, God.
Copy !req
1694. From New York,
Copy !req
1695. it's the Late Show with David Letterman.
Copy !req
1696. Dave's guest host tonight is Tom Green.
Copy !req
1697. Yeah.
Copy !req
1698. Thank you.
Copy !req
1699. Yeah.
Copy !req
1700. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1701. You're probably all looking
at your TV right now saying,
Copy !req
1702. "How the hell did this happen?"
Copy !req
1703. Uh, or maybe you're just saying, uh,
Copy !req
1704. "Oh, I guess Dave's taking a vacation
Copy !req
1705. along with everyone else
in the entertainment business."
Copy !req
1706. Yeah.
Copy !req
1707. Nice to see you.
Copy !req
1708. Damien Rice.
Good night, everyone.
Copy !req
1709. From beautiful midtown Burbank,
Copy !req
1710. it's The New Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
1711. And now, Tom Green!
Copy !req
1712. I had to get back to work.
Copy !req
1713. My agent at the time, John Ferriter,
Copy !req
1714. and my manager, Howard Lapides, and I,
Copy !req
1715. we assembled a team
and started a production company.
Copy !req
1716. And our first guest,
please welcome Ludacris.
Copy !req
1717. And MTV bought The New Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
1718. I am so glad this guy's
back on television where he belongs.
Copy !req
1719. I couldn't believe it.
Copy !req
1720. My dream had come true.
Copy !req
1721. Our Big Monster Spectacular Friday!
Copy !req
1722. Burt Dubrow, producer of the show.
Copy !req
1723. Can you just tell Glenn quickly?
Because he doesn't believe me.
Copy !req
1724. We hired a great producer.
Burt really put Tom to the test.
Copy !req
1725. He... He wanted Tom
to be the best he could be
Copy !req
1726. at being a talk show host.
Copy !req
1727. Tom became almost a fanatic,
Copy !req
1728. and wanting to become better at it.
Copy !req
1729. Fred Durst... Carson Daly... Gene Simmons.
Copy !req
1730. Tom just has the meat on his bone
to know how to do this.
Copy !req
1731. He just innately knows it
because he studied it.
Copy !req
1732. He and I literally would go
to the Museum of Broadcasting
Copy !req
1733. and just watch clips over and over.
Copy !req
1734. Linkin Park.
Copy !req
1735. I considered Tom to be
one of the better talk show hosts
Copy !req
1736. that we've seen in years.
Copy !req
1737. He really, really is excellent,
and in my opinion,
Copy !req
1738. wasn't given
the appropriate opportunities.
Copy !req
1739. I mean, you got Jimmy Fallon
and Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert now.
Copy !req
1740. You sure could have put Tom in there
in a minute.
Copy !req
1741. - My chin has never been that wet in life.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1742. "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Copy !req
1743. It's like a lifelong dream of mine
to be on The New Tom Green Show.
Copy !req
1744. This is amazing.
Copy !req
1745. One of the better talk show hosts,
Copy !req
1746. and I don't think anybody
understands the medium
Copy !req
1747. as well as Tom Green does.
Copy !req
1748. And now, here's...
Copy !req
1749. Tommy!
Copy !req
1750. Ho!
Copy !req
1751. Ed McMahon! Wow.
Copy !req
1752. I love the show,
Copy !req
1753. and so does the New York Post.
Copy !req
1754. Wait till you see this.
Copy !req
1755. Total comparison to Johnny Carson
Copy !req
1756. and a four-star rating.
Copy !req
1757. Wow.
Copy !req
1758. Yeah.
Copy !req
1759. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1760. The word "genius"
comes to mind with technology.
Copy !req
1761. Tom was always very, very on top
of technology, ahead of the game.
Copy !req
1762. You want to be the central person
that is part of the convergence
Copy !req
1763. - of the internet and television.
- It's called convergence.
Copy !req
1764. The convergence of the internet
and television.
Copy !req
1765. Basically, video is getting so much faster
on the internet now.
Copy !req
1766. But you can now watch it
basically like television.
Copy !req
1767. In your estimation,
Copy !req
1768. how long until this convergence
fully takes place?
Copy !req
1769. - It's happening right now.
- I know, but when will it be converged?
Copy !req
1770. I think it's probably
about two or three years.
Copy !req
1771. I think it's gonna be so fast
that someone like Steve Jobs
Copy !req
1772. will put out a flat-screen TV
that's basically a computer,
Copy !req
1773. you hang it on your wall,
and it does everything.
Copy !req
1774. We're here in the studio.
Copy !req
1775. It's a little late-night Webovision,
Copy !req
1776. showing you a little behind the scenes
of the studio here,
Copy !req
1777. which is, of course,
actually my living room
Copy !req
1778. here in Los Angeles, California.
Copy !req
1779. And when Tom came to us and said,
Copy !req
1780. "I want to shoot a show out of my house
and I'm gonna call it Webovision,"
Copy !req
1781. um, I think most people looked at him
like he was a little crazy.
Copy !req
1782. These are the cameras here
we use at the channel.
Copy !req
1783. The show that you do is a talk show.
Copy !req
1784. It's in your living room,
in your home here in LA.
Copy !req
1785. Yeah, there are eight cameras,
Copy !req
1786. and they're running through
this cool switcher, and then...
Copy !req
1787. - You can go live on the internet.
- Any time I want.
Copy !req
1788. That's a great idea.
A talk show on the internet.
Copy !req
1789. So I've moved the desk
from my old MTV show into the house.
Copy !req
1790. So people can watch it
and see you sitting at your desk.
Copy !req
1791. It is 8:00.
We're live on the national Webovision.
Copy !req
1792. - Thanks for coming.
- This is awesome.
Copy !req
1793. And we just go.
Copy !req
1794. We put a camera in my refrigerator.
Copy !req
1795. - You have a fridge cam?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1796. Look, there's the inside of the fridge.
Copy !req
1797. - You started a show on the web.
- Mm-hm.
Copy !req
1798. And now there's a new frontier.
Copy !req
1799. Live on the internet,
live on the world wide web.
Copy !req
1800. Not again. Sorry.
Copy !req
1801. Lifetime Public Enemy fan.
I've never met them before.
Copy !req
1802. - Hey, Flav.
- Yo, yo, Tom!
Copy !req
1803. Yeah, boy!
Copy !req
1804. Any major network
could never have the vibe, the view—
Copy !req
1805. - You're a very lucky man.
- It's kinda neat.
Copy !req
1806. I don't think I've ever
talked about it on the show.
Copy !req
1807. When we're sitting here,
we're looking out at Hollywood.
Copy !req
1808. - I think this is fucking awesome.
- Thank you, man.
Copy !req
1809. This is the craziest thing ever.
Copy !req
1810. You have so many people
watching this show, okay?
Copy !req
1811. Why are you trying
to freak me out, Tom Green?
Copy !req
1812. - Little bit.
- You're responsible.
Copy !req
1813. You're responsible for me doing this.
How about that?
Copy !req
1814. Joe Rogan's got the biggest broadcast
in the world of any kind.
Copy !req
1815. And I think to myself,
"Man, that's pretty cool."
Copy !req
1816. Somehow, I think I might have
been part of that.
Copy !req
1817. I was recently on his podcast and we
talked about the time he was on my show.
Copy !req
1818. It's ultimately you. I'm like your kid.
Copy !req
1819. Yeah, you know, Patrice used to say that
about comedians that imitated him.
Copy !req
1820. "They're my babies."
Copy !req
1821. - How about that?
Copy !req
1822. That's very nice of you to say.
Copy !req
1823. It really is different,
you know, than television.
Copy !req
1824. - This is way better.
- There isn't that time constraint.
Copy !req
1825. There isn't that pressure.
You know, we want to keep it moving...
Copy !req
1826. Not only that,
there's not a corporate pressure.
Copy !req
1827. Your show in 2007,
when I went on your show,
Copy !req
1828. that was 100% a major inspiration.
Copy !req
1829. I remember very clearly, like,
sitting next to you on that chair going,
Copy !req
1830. "Dude, this is it." Like, this is it.
Copy !req
1831. All you have to do is figure out
how you make money from this.
Copy !req
1832. - And then you figured that out, yeah.
Copy !req
1833. I think Entertainment Tonight
was there that day or something like that.
Copy !req
1834. - That's right.
- And you made this quote to them.
Copy !req
1835. And that went out,
and it was defining what's happened.
Copy !req
1836. And anybody through the internet
can become famous.
Copy !req
1837. That's really what's gonna happen.
Copy !req
1838. if you have something and you put it
out there and people are interested in it,
Copy !req
1839. a viral growth of whatever
you're putting out there will spread
Copy !req
1840. and it will get out there,
and people will know what you're doing
Copy !req
1841. if it's funny, if it's entertaining.
And it's a way for people
Copy !req
1842. to broadcast entertainment.
Copy !req
1843. A way for anybody to broadcast
something entertaining to the whole world.
Copy !req
1844. And when you had me as a guest on,
Copy !req
1845. it changed the course of my life.
Copy !req
1846. Because it really did,
it really was like—
Copy !req
1847. I remember light bulbs
going off in my head, like,
Copy !req
1848. "Why don't I do this?"
Copy !req
1849. The idea came out of you, man.
Copy !req
1850. Webovision was the original podcast.
Copy !req
1851. - Thank you so much for coming by.
- Thank you for having me as always, sir.
Copy !req
1852. Always nice to see you.
Copy !req
1853. My living room here...
Copy !req
1854. Unfortunately,
the show was ahead of its time.
Copy !req
1855. It just began to cost
way too much to keep it operating.
Copy !req
1856. I started doing stand-up again.
Copy !req
1857. That was an immediate success,
Copy !req
1858. eventually doing a complete world tour.
Copy !req
1859. This is my first show in the UK!
Copy !req
1860. You know how to work a stage,
how to create excitement in a crowd.
Copy !req
1861. And you don't see that much with comics.
Copy !req
1862. He's a legend in the game.
Two words: Tom Green.
Copy !req
1863. I got to say, I've never seen a guy
Copy !req
1864. go on stage
that in command of the audience.
Copy !req
1865. You went on stage
Copy !req
1866. with complete control of the audience.
Copy !req
1867. You hear in green rooms,
people like, you know,
Copy !req
1868. "Tom Green started doing stand-up again."
You're like, "Yeah, how is it?"
Copy !req
1869. - Everybody was, like, complimenting you.
- Oh, that's really—
Copy !req
1870. That's good to hear.
Copy !req
1871. I did a USO tour about four years ago.
Copy !req
1872. - Have you gone over more than once?
- Yeah, I've been over a couple of times.
Copy !req
1873. - Tom Green!
Copy !req
1874. How you doing, man?
Copy !req
1875. - It's an overwhelming experience.
- That's a good word for it.
Copy !req
1876. I don't think I fully even understood
Copy !req
1877. what it meant to be a comic
till you do that.
Copy !req
1878. And by the time I'd finished,
Copy !req
1879. I was a seasoned stand-up comedian.
Copy !req
1880. I didn't give up the dream of hosting
a late-night talk show.
Copy !req
1881. It's Tom Green Live.
Copy !req
1882. All you do, Tom, is blow over the hole.
Copy !req
1883. That's what she said.
Copy !req
1884. Mark Cuban's AXS TV channel
Copy !req
1885. was filming a show called
Gotham Comedy Live.
Copy !req
1886. I did stand-up there.
Copy !req
1887. They saw my set
and offered me a show, and I said,
Copy !req
1888. "Well, hey, you know,
I can bring my Webovision studio back."
Copy !req
1889. We built a brand-new TV studio
in a warehouse, not in my house.
Copy !req
1890. I can't believe I got to have Carl Reiner,
a show business legend,
Copy !req
1891. and incredible legend of comedy,
on my show.
Copy !req
1892. Uh, a true genius,
the creator of the Dick Van Dyke Show.
Copy !req
1893. Man gets here to make himself comfortable.
He takes his shoes off.
Copy !req
1894. I've seen that a hundred times.
Copy !req
1895. And then puts on exactly the same.
Copy !req
1896. That's inspirationally brilliant.
Copy !req
1897. Wow. Well, that really...
Copy !req
1898. - You are either an idiot or a genius.
Copy !req
1899. I would put a check
in the "A" box on that one.
Copy !req
1900. That's why—
And that's why you're a genius.
Copy !req
1901. Deal just closed. Sold my house.
Copy !req
1902. Let's have a drink.
Copy !req
1903. 18 years. 18 years.
Copy !req
1904. Wow, my last sunset
at my house in Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1905. Hi, Charlie.
We're gonna go to Canada, Charlie,
Copy !req
1906. and you're gonna like that better
than this house in the hills.
Copy !req
1907. Cheers.
Copy !req
1908. Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1909. Webovision Studios.
Copy !req
1910. It's been fun.
Copy !req
1911. Time for a new adventure.
Copy !req
1912. This is where I grew up.
Copy !req
1913. This is where I feel comfortable.
Copy !req
1914. This is where I want to be.
Copy !req
1915. And here we are,
my first day in my home.
Copy !req
1916. We're out in the country,
Copy !req
1917. and I feel I'm really lucky
that I found this property.
Copy !req
1918. Hundred-year-old log cabin,
Copy !req
1919. nice picnic table, nice cedar deck,
Copy !req
1920. nice pond for swimming,
Copy !req
1921. nice firepit, and then a nice grill.
Copy !req
1922. I don't feel like I've made a mistake.
Copy !req
1923. I feel like this was
a pretty good move, right?
Copy !req
1924. He really loves where he's living.
Copy !req
1925. It gave him a chance to just kind of...
Copy !req
1926. take a breath
and think about things creatively.
Copy !req
1927. I'm driving to New York City tomorrow
Copy !req
1928. to go on the Drew Barrymore Show.
Copy !req
1929. Oh, my God. Wow.
Copy !req
1930. Face-to-face?
Copy !req
1931. Yeah. First time in 18 years.
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1932. - Little nervous about it.
- Yeah.
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1933. We got the Taj Mahal here.
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1934. - This is nice.
- Very nice, yeah.
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1935. Yeah.
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1936. We have not seen each other face-to-face,
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1937. actually, in almost 20 years.
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1938. Please welcome comedian,
adventurer, pioneer,
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1939. and someone so dear to me, Tom Green.
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1940. How are you doing? Nice.
Thanks for having me on the show.
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1941. - And you smell so minty fresh.
- Oh, yeah.
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1942. Okay, well, yeah,
I took a mint right before I came out.
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1943. I just ate, like, cucumbers and celery
with some really weird sauce.
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1944. Oh, okay. Yeah.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
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1945. Okay, good!
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1946. Congratulations on your show.
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1947. He looked a little nervous
when he started.
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1948. That made sense. I would have.
You would have.
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1949. What does it feel like
almost 20 years later to be face-to-face?
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1950. I kind of feel like
I'm watching this too right now.
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1951. But he quickly morphed into comfort,
a comfort zone.
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1952. Sort of a little bit
like an out-of-body experience.
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1953. I feel sort of—
It's very nice to see you.
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1954. Really, it does feel weird, though.
Not weird in a bad way. In a good way.
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1955. Appreciate it, Drew.
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1956. This is cool, I mean,
I actually think this is kind of a...
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1957. A nice way of reconnecting, actually.
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1958. Ladies and gentlemen...
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1959. - Tom...
- Green.
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1960. Cancer.
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1961. Help me!
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1962. I've been back here
for just a very short period of time.
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1963. - I already feel like I'm home.
- Oh, really?
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1964. You're a lucky man.
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1965. - Wow.
- How's the water?
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1966. It's nice.
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1967. Guess it can't be too cold.
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1968. It'd be cool to get, like, a nice...
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1969. The most extreme wide we can get.
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1970. Thanks, everyone.
Let's set up the cameras.
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1971. I'm so happy with my decision
to leave Los Angeles
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1972. and move to the country.
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1973. With my family down the road,
I no longer feel isolated.
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1974. Good girl, Charlie.
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1975. Living in Hollywood
for all those years was a great way
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1976. to learn about show business.
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1977. But now that I'm home,
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1978. I can feel the real me returning.
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1979. I'm comfortable here.
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1980. Hello.
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1981. - Hello.
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1982. Hi. Wow.
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1983. - Okay, Charlie.
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1984. It's exciting, huh?
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1985. - Thing works. Yeah!
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1986. Technology now allows us
to communicate worldwide
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1987. in more ways than ever.
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1988. We can live our lives and our dreams
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1989. wherever we choose.
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1990. Whole new adventure.
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1991. Oh, you're going right for that grass.
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1992. And even though making this documentary
was not easy,
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1993. it was a cathartic exercise.
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1994. Try to be in a longer lens there.
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1995. Reliving all those amazing
experiences has felt at times unreal.
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1996. Mm!
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1997. It actually tastes good.
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1998. What do you mean they actually taste good?
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1999. But also, it's given me a chance
to contemplate
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2000. and learn and prepare
for this next chapter of my life.
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2001. Now, both personally and professionally,
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2002. I truly believe
that I'm just getting started.
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2003. It's okay.
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2004. And the best is yet to come.
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2005. Would you please
help me welcome to the stage
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2006. the one, the only, Ottawa's own...
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2007. Tom Green!
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