1. The world of investing can be a jungle.
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2. Bulls. Bears.
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3. Danger at every turn.
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4. That's why we at Stratton Oakmont
pride ourselves on being the best.
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5. Trained professionals to guide you
through the financial wilderness.
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6. Stratton Oakmont.
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7. Stability.
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8. Integrity.
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9. Pride.
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10. one!
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11. Two!
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12. Three!
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13. Twenty-five grand to the first
cocksucker to nail a bull's-eye!
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14. Come on! Let's go!
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15. One!
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16. Two!
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17. Three!
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18. My name is Jordan Belfort.
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19. Not him.
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20. Me. That's right.
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21. I'm a former member
of the middle class
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22. raised by two accountants
in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens.
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23. The year I turned 26,
as the head of my own brokerage firm,
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24. I made $49 million,
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25. which really pissed me off because
it was three shy of a million a week.
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26. No, no, no. My Ferrari was white,
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27. like Don Johnson's in Miami Vice.
Not red.
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28. See that humongous estate down there?
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29. That's my house.
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30. For millionaires whose ships...
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31. My wife, Naomi,
the Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn,
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32. a former model and Miller Lite girl.
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33. Yeah.
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34. She was the one with my cock
in her mouth in the Ferrari.
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35. So put your dick back in your pants.
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36. In addition to Naomi
and my two perfect kids,
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37. I own a mansion, private jet,
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38. six cars, three horses,
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39. two vacation homes,
and a 170-foot yacht.
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40. Anchors aweigh!
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41. I also gamble like a degenerate.
I drink like a fish.
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42. I fuck hookers maybe
five, six times a week.
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43. I have three different federal agencies
looking to indict me.
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44. Oh, yeah, and I love drugs.
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45. Okay.
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46. - One more round.
- Oh, yeah.
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47. - Oh, you like it?
- Yeah.
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48. Pull up. Pull up!
We're gonna crash, for Christ sake!
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49. Relax!
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50. Just relax.
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51. - You okay?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
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52. Good job.
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53. You get in there safe, all right?
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54. Till the next time, brother.
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55. Till next time.
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56. Yup, on a daily basis
I consume enough drugs
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57. to sedate Manhattan,
Long Island and Queens for a month.
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58. Okay, Mr. Jordan.
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59. I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day
for my "back pain,"
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60. Adderall to stay focused,
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61. Xanax to take the edge off,
pot to mellow me out,
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62. cocaine to wake me back up again
and morphine, well,
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63. because it's awesome.
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64. Good morning, Nathan.
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65. But of all the drugs
under God's blue heaven,
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66. there is one that is my absolute favorite.
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67. You see,
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68. enough of this shit'll
make you invincible.
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69. Able to conquer the world,
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70. and eviscerate your enemies.
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71. And I'm not talking about this.
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72. I'm talking about this.
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73. See, money doesn't
just buy you a better life,
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74. better food, better cars, better pussy.
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75. It also makes you a better person.
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76. You can give generously to the church
or political party of your choice.
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77. You can save the fucking
spotted owl with money.
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78. I always wanted to be rich.
So let me go back.
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79. I'm 22 years old, newly married,
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80. and already a money-crazed little shit.
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81. So what do I do?
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82. I go to the one place on Earth
that befit my high-minded ambitions.
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83. I love you.
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84. You are lower than pond scum.
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85. You got a problem with that,
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86. Jordan?
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87. No. No problem at all.
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88. Good. Because that is what you are.
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89. Pond scum.
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90. Your job is connector,
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91. which means that you'll be dialing
the phone over 500 times a day
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92. trying to connect me
with wealthy business owners.
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93. And until you pass your Series 7,
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94. that is all you're gonna
fucking be doing. Sit.
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95. Sit!
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96. Now just so you know,
last year I made over $300,000.
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97. The other guy you'll be working for,
he made over a million.
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98. A million dollars?
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99. I could only imagine
what a douchebag that guy must be.
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100. - Jordan Belfort.
- Yes, sir.
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101. - Mark Hanna.
- A pleasure to meet you.
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102. And you as well. I see you've
already met the village asshole.
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103. Smile and dial.
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104. And don't pick up
your fucking head until 1:00.
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105. Hey, fuck him.
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106. I'm the senior broker here.
He's just a worthless piker.
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107. Why don't you blow me, Hanna?
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108. Now did you really pitch
a stock in your job interview?
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109. I had to do something
to stand out. Right, sir?
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110. I fucking love that.
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111. - Lunch. Today.
- Yeah.
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112. We don't start dialing at 9:30
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113. because our clients
are already answering the phone.
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114. Three. Two. One.
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115. Let's fuck!
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116. You want to know
what money sounds like?
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117. Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.
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118. "Fuck" this, "shit" that.
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119. "Cunt,"cock,"asshole."
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120. I couldn't believe
how these guys talked to each other.
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121. - Good fucking package...
- Piece of shit!
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122. I was hooked in seconds.
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123. It was like mainlining adrenaline.
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124. Yeah. Fuckface, look at
where the stock's at today, huh?
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125. You motherfucker,
you can't get any at 44...
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126. - Pick up the cocksucking phone!
- Sorry...
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127. You are such
a fucking douchebag, Hanna.
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128. We don't give two shits
about how technology works
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129. because all we care about
is getting fucking rich.
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130. - Solid, 2,000.
- Jordan Belfort.
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131. Done!
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132. Time to paint the tape.
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133. 2,000. Microsoft. Going in the hole!
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134. Come on.
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135. Live. Live. Hold on, that is hot.
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136. In. In. Shut that motherfucker.
Shut it! Shut it! Shut it!
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137. Sold!
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138. Yeah.
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139. Tootski?
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140. Oh, no. Thank you, though.
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141. Mr. Hanna, what can I bring for you
on this glorious afternoon?
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142. Well, Hector, here's the game plan.
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143. You're gonna bring us
two Absolut martinis.
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144. You know how I like them. Straight up.
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145. And then precisely seven
and one half minutes after that,
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146. you're gonna bring us two more.
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147. Then two more after that
every five minutes
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148. until one of us passes the fuck out.
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149. Excellent strategy, sir.
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150. I'm good with water for now.
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151. Thank you.
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152. It's his first day on Wall Street.
Give him time.
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153. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
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154. Mr. Hanna?
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155. You're able to do drugs during the day
and then still function, still do your job?
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156. How the fuck else
would you do this job?
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157. Cocaine and hookers, my friend.
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158. Right.
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159. Well, I got to say, I'm incredibly excited
to be a part of your firm. I mean...
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160. The clients you have are absolutely...
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161. Fuck the clients.
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162. Your only responsibility
is to put meat on the table.
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163. You got a girlfriend?
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164. I'm married. I have a wife.
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165. Her name is Teresa. She cuts hair.
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166. - Congratulations.
- Thank you.
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167. Think about Teresa.
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168. Name of the game.
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169. Move the money from
your client's pocket into your pocket.
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170. Right.
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171. But if you make your clients
money at the same time,
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172. it's advantageous to everyone. Correct?
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173. No.
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174. Number one rule of Wall Street.
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175. Nobody...
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176. I don't care if you're Warren Buffett
or if you're Jimmy Buffett.
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177. Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up,
down, sideways, or in fucking circles.
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178. Least of all stockbrokers, right?
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179. It's all a fugazi.
You know what a fugazi is?
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180. Fugayzi. It's a fake.
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181. Fugayzi, fugazi,
it's a whazy, it's a woozy, it's...
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182. Fairy dust. It doesn't exist.
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183. It's never landed. It is no matter.
It's not on the elemental chart.
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184. It's not fucking real.
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185. - Right?
- Right.
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186. Stay with me.
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187. We don't create shit.
We don't build anything.
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188. No.
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189. So if you got a client
who bought stock at eight
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190. and it now sits at 16,
he's all fucking happy.
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191. He wants to cash in, liquidate,
take his fucking money and run home.
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192. - You don't let him do that.
- Okay.
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193. - 'Cause that would make it real.
- Right.
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194. No. What do you do?
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195. You get another brilliant idea.
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196. A special idea.
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197. Another "situation." Another stock
to reinvest his earnings and then some.
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198. And he will, every single time.
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199. 'Cause they're fucking addicted.
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200. And you just keep doing this,
again and again and again.
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201. Meanwhile, he thinks
he's getting shit rich,
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202. which he is, on paper.
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203. But you and me, the brokers,
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204. we're taking home cold hard cash
via commission, motherfucker.
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205. Right.
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206. That's incredible, sir.
I can't tell you how excited I am.
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207. You should be.
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208. There's two keys to success
in the broker business.
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209. First of all...
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210. - You gotta stay relaxed.
- Yeah.
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211. Do you jerk off?
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212. Do I... Do I jerk off?
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213. Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off. Yeah.
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214. How many times a week?
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215. Like three or four.
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216. - Three or four times, maybe five.
- Gotta pump those numbers up.
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217. Those are rookie numbers
in this racket.
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218. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.
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219. - Wow.
- Once in the morning
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220. right after I work out,
then once right after lunch.
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221. Really?
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222. I want to. That's not why I do it.
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223. I do it 'cause I fucking need to.
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224. Think about it.
You're dealing with numbers.
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225. All day long, decimal points,
high frequencies.
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226. Bang, bang, bang.
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227. Fucking digits.
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228. All very acidic
above-the-shoulders mustard shit.
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229. All right?
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230. It kind of wigs some people out. Right.
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231. You got to feed the geese
to keep the blood flowing.
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232. I keep the rhythm below the belt.
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233. Done.
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234. This is not a tip, this is a prescription.
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235. Trust me.
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236. If you don't, you will fall out of balance,
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237. split your differential
and tip the fuck over.
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238. Or worse yet,
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239. I've seen this happen, implode.
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240. No, I don't want to implode, sir.
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241. No. No, you don't.
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242. I'm in it for the long run, you know?
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243. - Implosions are ugly.
- Yeah.
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244. Pop off to the bathroom,
work one out any time you can.
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245. When you get really good at it,
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246. you'll fucking be stroking it
and you'll be thinking about money.
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247. Second key to success in this racket
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248. is this little baby right here.
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249. It's called cocaine.
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250. Right.
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251. It'll keep you sharp between the ears.
It'll also help your fingers dial faster.
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252. And guess what?
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253. That's good for me.
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254. Yes, sir.
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255. Revolutions. You follow?
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256. Revolutions.
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257. Keep the clients on the Ferris wheel.
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258. And it goes. The park is open 24/7, 365,
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259. every decade, every goddamn century.
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260. That's it.
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261. The name of the game.
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262. Halkidiki?
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263. Thank you.
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264. Come on.
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265. We're the common denominator.
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266. Keep it up for me.
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267. You've seen the echo
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268. And the money comes in
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269. The parade comes to town
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270. Going down Broadway
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271. It's a one-way street
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272. Whichever way I go
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273. The next six months,
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274. I got to know the ins
and outs of Wall Street.
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275. Earning shit money as I geared up
to take my Series 7.
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276. Oh, fuckers.
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277. Then I was a licensed broker at last,
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278. ready to make my fortune.
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279. My first day as a future
Master of the Universe.
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280. I have Exxon at 861/4 six months ago.
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281. Today it is trading at 361/2.
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282. Mr...
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283. They called it Black Monday.
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284. No shit.
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285. By 4:00 p.m., the market
had dropped 508 points.
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286. The biggest plummet
since the crash of '29.
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287. I know your family, you know mine.
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288. No, I don't know. Some fucking
country in Europe took a shit.
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289. Let them do
what they want to fucking do.
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290. Our market's solid.
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291. This is not something
that you want to sell.
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292. You know what happened?
A fucking tsunami.
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293. I think you're making a big mistake.
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294. Yes, I will talk to your wife.
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295. Trust me, do not answer the phone.
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296. A lot of people are gonna be calling you,
trying to get your dirty laundry.
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297. We don't know what's going on here.
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298. I know. I know.
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299. Holy
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300. fucking shit!
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301. Unbelievable.
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302. My first shitty day as a broker.
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303. Within a month, L.F. Rothschild,
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304. an institution since 1899,
closed its doors.
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305. Wall Street had swallowed me up
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306. and shit me right back out again.
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307. We could pawn my engagement ring
if we needed to.
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308. - Babe...
- Because I don't mind.
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309. If we needed to, I'm saying...
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310. - Will you listen to me?
- Okay.
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311. You're not pawning anything. Okay?
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312. - Okay.
- What do I always tell you?
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313. You're gonna be a millionaire.
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314. That's right. Okay? Just let me look.
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315. We'll find something.
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316. - How about this?
- What?
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317. Nobody Beats the Wiz,
the electronics store.
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318. Stock boy. What do you think?
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319. You're not gonna work at that place.
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320. Yeah, but, you know, you start off...
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321. Jordan, you're gonna be
miserable at that place
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322. - if you go there.
- I know.
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323. It's sales. You work your way up,
you'll be a general manager.
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324. - You're not gonna be a stock boy.
- Why not?
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325. 'Cause you're a stockbroker.
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326. You understand that
nobody's hiring stockbrokers right now?
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327. You understand that?
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328. Okay?
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329. This place is.
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330. - What?
- What's that say?
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331. "Stockbrokers."
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332. In Long Island?
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333. - Stockbrokers in Long Island?
- Yeah.
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334. It's in Long Island. So what?
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335. Hey, I'm looking for Investor's Center.
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336. What's that? You want to invest?
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337. No. Investor's Center.
I'm looking for Investor's Center.
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338. Yeah, yeah, that's us. Hey.
This is it. This is it.
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339. - I'm Dwayne. Yeah.
- You're Dwayne?
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340. Hi, Dwayne. We spoke on the phone.
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341. I'm Jordan Belfort.
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342. I'm the broker from
Rothschild in New York.
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343. Yes, yeah. Have a seat. How are you?
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344. We had a conversation...
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345. We spoke on the phone earlier, right?
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346. - Two hours ago.
- Right.
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347. Yeah.
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348. They're up and comers.
That's what that means.
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349. It's three cents a share, that's $3!
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350. You cheap fuck!
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351. So...
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352. So where are your Quotrons here?
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353. - Quotrons?
- Yeah. Your computers.
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354. No, no. We don't even
need computers here.
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355. We just trade right off
the pink sheets here.
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356. - Pink sheets?
- Yeah, they're penny stocks.
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357. You know, companies that
can't get listed on NASDAQ,
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358. they don't have enough capital?
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359. Their shares trade here.
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360. - Penny stocks?
- Yeah.
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361. This one, Aerodyne,
is a really interesting...
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362. Or Aerotyne...
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363. Aerotyne, yeah.
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364. Aero... Aerotyne...
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365. Aerotyne. Yeah.
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366. Very hot stock right now.
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367. Oh, yeah?
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368. They're just a couple
of brothers that are making
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369. radar detectors out of their garage.
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370. They're out in Dubuque.
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371. Maybe it's microwaves. I'm not sure.
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372. But you call the company's main line,
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373. their mom, Dorothy, answers
and she is so sweet.
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374. - Good company.
- I actually don't know what else to...
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375. I don't know anything else
about them other than that.
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376. Six cents a share?
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377. Hey, come on. Who buys this crap?
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378. Well, I mean...
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379. Honestly, mostly schmucks.
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380. Postmen, there's always postmen.
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381. Plumbers.
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382. They see our ads "m the back
of Hustler and Popular Mechanics.
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383. Our ads actually say
they can get rich quick.
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384. - Hustler?
- Yeah.
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385. You know, those girlie magazines.
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386. Yeah, yeah. Nudie mag.
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387. - A lot.
- Yeah.
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388. We're helping them finance houses,
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389. we're helping them
buy their wife a diamond ring...
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390. A boat maybe.
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391. Is this... Is this stuff regulated
or are you guys...
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392. What are you doing here?
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393. Sort of.
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394. Sort of?
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395. Jesus Christ,
the spread on these is huge.
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396. Yeah. And that's the point, that's...
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397. What's your name again?
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398. Mine... Jordan Belfort.
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399. Jordan, what do you get
on that blue chip stock?
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400. I make one percent.
Or I did make one percent.
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401. Pink sheets, it's 50.
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402. It's 50%?
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403. 50% commission?
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404. - Yup.
- For what?
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405. It's our markup for our services.
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406. And so if I... If I...
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407. If I sell a stock at $10,000,
my commission is 5,000 bucks?
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408. If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock,
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409. I will personally give you
a blowjob for free.
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410. And I hope it happens.
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411. Hello, John, how are you doing today?
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412. You mailed in my company
a postcard a few weeks back
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413. requesting information on penny stocks
that had huge upside potential
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414. with very little downside risk.
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415. - Does that ring a bell?
- Yeah, I may have sent something.
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416. Okay, great.
The reason for the call today, John, is,
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417. something just came
across my desk, John.
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418. It is perhaps the best thing
I've seen in the last six months.
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419. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share
the idea with you. You got a minute?
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420. Actually, I'm really very...
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421. The name of the company,
Aerotyne International.
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422. It is a cutting edge
high-tech firm out of the Midwest
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423. awaiting imminent patent approval
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424. on the next generation
of radar detectors
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425. that have both huge military
and civilian applications now.
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426. Right now, John,
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427. the stock trades over-the-counter
at 10 cents a share.
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428. And by the way, John,
our analysts indicate
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429. it could go a heck
of a lot higher than that.
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430. Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment
would be upwards of $60,000!
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431. Jesus! That's my mortgage, man.
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432. Exactly. You could
pay off your mortgage.
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433. This stock will pay off my house?
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434. John, one thing I can promise you,
even in this market,
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435. is that I never ask my clients
to judge me on my winners.
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436. I ask them to judge me on my losers
because I have so few.
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437. And in the case of Aerotyne,
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438. based on every technical factor
out there, John,
Copy !req
439. we are looking at
a grand slam home run.
Copy !req
440. Okay, let's do it. I'll do four grand.
Copy !req
441. $4,000? That'd be 40,000 shares, John.
Copy !req
442. Let me lock in that trade right now
Copy !req
443. and get back to you with my secretary
Copy !req
444. with an exact confirmation.
Sound good, John?
Copy !req
445. - Yeah, sounds good.
- Great.
Copy !req
446. Hey, John.
Copy !req
447. Thank you for your vote of confidence.
Copy !req
448. And welcome to the Investor's Center.
Copy !req
449. Yeah, thanks a lot, man.
Copy !req
450. BYE-bye.
Copy !req
451. How'd you fucking do that?
Copy !req
452. Just like that, I made two grand.
Copy !req
453. The other guys looked at me
like I'd just discovered fire.
Copy !req
454. Great! Even better!
Copy !req
455. I was selling garbage to garbage men
and making cash hand over fist.
Copy !req
456. The only problem you're gonna have
is that you didn't buy more.
Copy !req
457. So I was selling them shit.
Copy !req
458. But the way I looked at it,
their money was better off in my pocket.
Copy !req
459. I knew how to spend it better.
Copy !req
460. Excuse me. Is that your car in the lot?
Copy !req
461. Yeah.
Copy !req
462. - It's a nice ride.
- Thanks, man.
Copy !req
463. Donnie Azoff.
Copy !req
464. Hey. I'm Jordan Belfort.
Copy !req
465. - Nice to meet you.
- How you doing?
Copy !req
466. You know, actually,
I see that car around.
Copy !req
467. - I see it around a lot.
- Oh, yeah, where?
Copy !req
468. I think we live in the same building.
Copy !req
469. - No shit?
- Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
470. - Twelfth floor?
- Yeah. What floor are you on?
Copy !req
471. Fourth floor.
Copy !req
472. - I have two little kids. Ugly wife.
- Right.
Copy !req
473. What do you do, bro?
Copy !req
474. What do you mean, what do I do?
Copy !req
475. For work, what do you do?
Copy !req
476. I'm a stockbroker.
Copy !req
477. - Stockbroker?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
478. Children's furniture.
Copy !req
479. Oh, good for you.
Copy !req
480. It's all right.
Copy !req
481. You make a lot of money?
Copy !req
482. Yeah, I do all right for myself.
Copy !req
483. I'm trying to put it together.
Copy !req
484. You got your fucking nice car,
we live in the same building. I just...
Copy !req
485. I'm not understanding...
How much money do you make?
Copy !req
486. I don't know. $70,000 last month.
Copy !req
487. Get the fuck...
Copy !req
488. Get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
489. No, I'm serious.
Copy !req
490. Yeah, no, I'm serious, too.
Copy !req
491. Seriously, how much money
do you make?
Copy !req
492. I told you. $70,000.
Copy !req
493. Well, technically, $72,000.
Copy !req
494. Last month. Something like that.
Copy !req
495. You made 72 grand in one month?
Copy !req
496. Yeah.
Copy !req
497. I'll tell you what.
Copy !req
498. You show me a pay stub
for $72,000 on it,
Copy !req
499. I quit my job right now
and I work for you.
Copy !req
500. Hey, Paulie, what's up?
Copy !req
501. No, yeah, yeah. No, everything's fine.
Copy !req
502. Hey, listen, I quit.
Copy !req
503. And he did quit his job.
Copy !req
504. Which I thought was a little weird.
I mean, I just met this fucking guy.
Copy !req
505. Don't fucking tell Susan.
It's none of her business.
Copy !req
506. There were other things about him, too.
Copy !req
507. Like his phosphorescent white teeth.
Copy !req
508. wife! I gotta fucking
deal with your wife?
Copy !req
509. The fact that he wore
horn rims with clear lenses
Copy !req
510. just to look more WASP-y.
Copy !req
511. And then, there were these rumors.
Copy !req
512. I heard some stupid shit. I don't know.
Copy !req
513. Fuck, I didn't even want
to bring it up. It's just...
Copy !req
514. - it's stupid.
- Shit with me?
Copy !req
515. You know, people say shit.
I don't even know.
Copy !req
516. I don't even listen to it half the time.
Copy !req
517. What are they saying?
Copy !req
518. Shit about you and your cousin
or something like that.
Copy !req
519. I don't even listen to it.
Copy !req
520. Bro, it's not like that.
Copy !req
521. It's not like that.
Copy !req
522. Like you married your cousin
or some stupid shit. No?
Copy !req
523. Yeah, my wife. Yeah.
Copy !req
524. My wife is my cousin, or whatever.
Copy !req
525. But it's not like what you think,
or whatever, you know.
Copy !req
526. Is she like a first cousin, or is she...
Copy !req
527. Yeah, no, she's, you know...
Copy !req
528. Her... Her father
Copy !req
529. is the brother of my mom.
Copy !req
530. It's not like, what... You know.
Copy !req
531. Look, we grew up together.
Copy !req
532. And she grew up hot, you know.
She fucking grew up hot.
Copy !req
533. And all my friends were
trying to fuck her, you know.
Copy !req
534. And I'm not gonna let someone...
Copy !req
535. You know, one of these assholes
fuck my cousin,
Copy !req
536. so, you know, I used the cousin thing
as like an in with her.
Copy !req
537. I'm not gonna let
someone else fuck my cousin.
Copy !req
538. You know, if anyone's
gonna fuck my cousin,
Copy !req
539. it's gonna be me,
out of respect. You know?
Copy !req
540. No, I get it. Yeah.
Copy !req
541. I mean, you're not afraid of like
the whole kid thing, right?
Copy !req
542. - What? Having kids with her?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
543. No. We have two kids.
Copy !req
544. And they're... I mean...
Copy !req
545. I don't want to get personal,
but they're okay?
Copy !req
546. No, they're not retarded
or anything like that.
Copy !req
547. But there's a big chance, right, if...
Copy !req
548. Yeah, there's like a 60%, you know,
Copy !req
549. 60 to 65% chance the kid's
gonna be fucking retarded or whatever.
Copy !req
550. That'd scare the shit out of me, buddy.
Copy !req
551. Look, man, a lot of having a kid,
or whatever, takes risk,
Copy !req
552. whether you're fucking cousins or not.
Copy !req
553. What if something like that happened?
Copy !req
554. Basically, you know,
if the kid was retarded,
Copy !req
555. I would, you know,
drive it up to the country
Copy !req
556. and just, like, you know,
open the door and say,
Copy !req
557. "You're free now."
You know, like, "Run free."
Copy !req
558. You know?
Copy !req
559. You're completely fucking with me.
Copy !req
560. That's horrible. You're not gonna...
Copy !req
561. You look like you've... No.
Copy !req
562. We would take it to, like,
an institution or somewhere
Copy !req
563. that's handled to, like, you know,
raise the kid or whatever.
Copy !req
564. You know what? If you're happy,
God bless you, buddy.
Copy !req
565. No, I'm not fucking happy.
No one who's married is fucking happy.
Copy !req
566. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, buddy.
Copy !req
567. Listen, I'm really, you know...
Copy !req
568. I'm really appreciative
for this fucking job.
Copy !req
569. I'm really enjoying it.
Copy !req
570. I'm really happy with what you're doing.
Copy !req
571. Actually, I got you a little present.
Copy !req
572. - You got me a present?
- I got you something.
Copy !req
573. Oh, fuck. You're sweet.
Copy !req
574. Yeah. It's in the back though.
Copy !req
575. - What do you mean?
- You gotta go out back.
Copy !req
576. Like it's wrapped up or something?
Copy !req
577. It's wrapped up. Yeah.
Copy !req
578. - I don't get it.
- Neither do I.
Copy !req
579. Let's fucking go. Come on.
Copy !req
580. Your turn.
Copy !req
581. I'm not fucking doing this.
You're out of your fucking mind.
Copy !req
582. - Smoke this shit, bro.
- No.
Copy !req
583. No one's fucking here, bro.
Copy !req
584. Get the fuck...
Copy !req
585. Fucking smoke crack with me, bro.
Copy !req
586. I'm not fucking doing it.
Copy !req
587. Smoke crack. Smoke some
fucking crack with me, bro.
Copy !req
588. - One hit. One hit. That's it.
- Okay.
Copy !req
589. Fucking nut job.
Copy !req
590. Wow!
Copy !req
591. Wow.
Copy !req
592. Let's go run, huh?
Copy !req
593. We gotta get out of here, buddy.
Copy !req
594. We gotta get out of here.
Let's go fucking run.
Copy !req
595. Let's run like we're fucking lions
and tigers and bears!
Copy !req
596. Let's run! Let's fucking run!
Copy !req
597. Let's fucking run! Go!
Copy !req
598. Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
599. You've reached Frank's Best Auto Body.
Copy !req
600. We're closed right now.
Copy !req
601. So please leave us a message.
Copy !req
602. Hello. My name is Jordan Belfort.
Copy !req
603. My partner and I are very interested
in renting out your garage.
Copy !req
604. Donnie and I were
going out on our own.
Copy !req
605. And the first thing
we needed was brokers.
Copy !req
606. Guys with sales experience.
Copy !req
607. So I recruited
some of my hometown boys.
Copy !req
608. Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed.
Copy !req
609. Chester, who sold tires and weed.
Copy !req
610. And Robbie, who sold anything
he could get his hands on.
Copy !req
611. Mostly weed.
Copy !req
612. Can you bring me some ketchup? Okay?
Copy !req
613. This is Brad.
Copy !req
614. And Brad's the guy I really wanted.
Copy !req
615. But he didn't go along with us.
Copy !req
616. He was already making
so much money selling Quaaludes,
Copy !req
617. he'd become the Quaalude king
of Bayside.
Copy !req
618. Getting any pussy
with that thing or what?
Copy !req
619. Yeah, man, of course.
Copy !req
620. Bring some of them chicks
around here sometime, huh?
Copy !req
621. Let 'em watch.
Copy !req
622. Let 'em watch. Know what I mean?
Copy !req
623. Hey, Zip! You tell your sister
I was asking about her.
Copy !req
624. Why don't you bring me a pair of
her panties next time you come through.
Copy !req
625. Yeah, man. She said she don't want
to talk to you anymore, man.
Copy !req
626. Get the fuck out of here.
Copy !req
627. Hey, Ma, we got chicken or what?
Copy !req
628. Ma!
Copy !req
629. You listening? It's easier than you think.
Copy !req
630. Every person you're on the phone with,
Copy !req
631. they want to get rich
and they want to get rich quickly.
Copy !req
632. They all want something for nothing.
Copy !req
633. There was this one time that
I was selling pot to this Amish dude.
Copy !req
634. You know those guys
who got like the beard
Copy !req
635. with like no mustache or some bullshit?
Copy !req
636. Well, he says that he only
wants to make furniture.
Copy !req
637. I don't understand.
Copy !req
638. What's that got to do with anything?
Copy !req
639. What the fuck are you talking about?
Copy !req
640. I'm not putting words
in your mouth or nothing,
Copy !req
641. but you just said that
everybody wants to get rich.
Copy !req
642. Holy fuck, you did just say that.
Copy !req
643. What the fuck are you talking about?
Copy !req
644. Yeah, like Buddhists.
They don't give a shit about money.
Copy !req
645. They're wrapped in sheets.
They're not buying shit.
Copy !req
646. I'm not talking about
Buddhists or Amish.
Copy !req
647. I'm talking about normal people,
working-class, everyday people.
Copy !req
648. Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy?
Copy !req
649. There's no such thing
as an Amish Buddhist.
Copy !req
650. - I'm pretty fucking sure.
- There could be.
Copy !req
651. Can we get some ketchup, please?
Copy !req
652. Do you guys not want to make money?
Copy !req
653. I want to make some money.
Copy !req
654. I want to make
some fucking money, okay.
Copy !req
655. I can sell anything.
Copy !req
656. Shit, I can sell ludes
to a convent full of nuns,
Copy !req
657. and get them so horny
they'd be fucking each other.
Copy !req
658. That's the attitude.
You can sell anything?
Copy !req
659. Sell me this fucking pen right here.
Copy !req
660. You can sell anything.
Sell that. Go ahead.
Copy !req
661. Sell me the pen.
Copy !req
662. Can I finish eating first?
I haven't eaten today.
Copy !req
663. Brad, show them how it's done. Boom.
Copy !req
664. Sell me that pen. Watch. Go on.
Copy !req
665. You want me to sell this fucking pen?
Copy !req
666. That's my boy right there.
Can fucking sell anything.
Copy !req
667. Why don't you do me a favor.
Copy !req
668. Write your name down
on that napkin for me.
Copy !req
669. I don't have a pen.
Copy !req
670. Exactly. Supply and demand, my friend.
Copy !req
671. - Holy shit.
- See what I'm saying?
Copy !req
672. He's creating urgency.
Copy !req
673. Get them to want to buy the stock.
Copy !req
674. Convince them it's something
they need, you know what I mean?
Copy !req
675. And that's the thing.
Copy !req
676. All nuns are lesbians.
Copy !req
677. What the fuck
are you talking about, Otter?
Copy !req
678. Think about it. They can't keep a dude
so they're gonna start fucking chicks.
Copy !req
679. Four fucking times, Kimmie! Four times.
Copy !req
680. - He's not with us.
- Friggin' Rambo.
Copy !req
681. Now she runs.
Copy !req
682. But look. I knew these guys
weren't like Harvard MBAs.
Copy !req
683. Robbie Feinberg, the pinhead,
took five years to finish high school.
Copy !req
684. Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter,
didn't even graduate.
Copy !req
685. Chester Ming, the depraved Chinaman,
thought jujitsu was in Israel.
Copy !req
686. Smartest of the bunch
was Nicky Koskoff.
Copy !req
687. He actually went to law school.
Copy !req
688. I called him Rugrat
because of his piece of shit hairpiece.
Copy !req
689. Still, give them to me
young, hungry and stupid
Copy !req
690. and in no time, I'll make them rich.
Copy !req
691. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
692. Jordan, that...
Copy !req
693. You like it, baby?
Copy !req
694. Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
Copy !req
695. They're not the biggest stones
in the world,
Copy !req
696. but I promise they're really high quality.
Copy !req
697. It's beautiful.
Copy !req
698. They're so beautiful.
Copy !req
699. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
700. What?
Copy !req
701. I know that look. What is it? Go ahead.
Copy !req
702. I don't know, it's... You know...
Copy !req
703. These stocks... These companies...
Copy !req
704. They're like crappy companies.
Copy !req
705. - Well, yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
706. Yeah, they're terrible.
Copy !req
707. Don't worry about it. I told you,
what I'm doing is completely legal.
Copy !req
708. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
709. But they're not gonna make
anyone money though, right?
Copy !req
710. Well, sometimes they do,
sometimes they don't.
Copy !req
711. You know how it goes.
Copy !req
712. Wouldn't you feel better
if you sold that stuff to rich people
Copy !req
713. who can, like, afford
to lose all that money?
Copy !req
714. Of course.
Copy !req
715. But rich people don't buy penny stocks.
Copy !req
716. They just don't.
Copy !req
717. Why not?
Copy !req
718. Because they're too smart,
that's why not.
Copy !req
719. I mean, what person
with a college education
Copy !req
720. would trust this bunch of jerk-offs?
Copy !req
721. Hang up the phone.
Tell him you'll call him back.
Copy !req
722. I got five fucking grand
on the phone right now!
Copy !req
723. Hey!
Copy !req
724. But what if they didn't sound
like a bunch of jerk-offs?
Copy !req
725. What if I could teach them
how to sell to people with money?
Copy !req
726. Real money.
Copy !req
727. So I decided to reinvent the company.
Copy !req
728. Gentlemen, welcome
Copy !req
729. to Stratton Oakmont.
Copy !req
730. You schnooks will now be targeting
the wealthiest 1% of Americans.
Copy !req
731. We're talking about whales here.
Copy !req
732. Moby fucking Dicks.
Copy !req
733. And with this script,
which is now your new harpoon,
Copy !req
734. I'm gonna teach
each and every one of you
Copy !req
735. to be Captain fucking Ahab.
Copy !req
736. Get it? Huh?
Copy !req
737. Captain who?
Copy !req
738. Captain Ahab. From the fucking...
Copy !req
739. The book, motherfucker. From the book.
Copy !req
740. Turn your fucking brain on.
Copy !req
741. - Fuck you.
- Jesus fuck, Robbie.
Copy !req
742. Listen to me.
We're a new company with a new name.
Copy !req
743. A company that
our clients can believe in.
Copy !req
744. A company that our clients can trust.
Copy !req
745. A firm whose roots are
so deeply embedded into Wall Street
Copy !req
746. that our very founders
sailed over on the Mayflower
Copy !req
747. and chiseled the name
Stratton Oakmont
Copy !req
748. right into Plymouth fucking Rock!
Copy !req
749. You got it?
Copy !req
750. What we're gonna do is this.
Copy !req
751. First we pitch 'em Disney, AT&T, IBM,
blue chip stocks exclusively.
Copy !req
752. Companies these people know.
Copy !req
753. Once we've suckered them in,
we unload the dog shit.
Copy !req
754. The pink sheets, the penny stocks,
where we make the money.
Copy !req
755. 50% commission, baby.
Copy !req
756. Now the key to making money
in a situation like this
Copy !req
757. is to position yourself now
before the settlement.
Copy !req
758. Because by the time you read about it
in The Wall Street Journal,
Copy !req
759. it's already too late.
Copy !req
760. Then you wait.
Copy !req
761. You wait.
Copy !req
762. And whoever speaks first loses.
Copy !req
763. Sorry...
Copy !req
764. I appreciate the call.
Copy !req
765. I really have to give this some thought
and talk to my wife about it.
Copy !req
766. Can I call you back?
Copy !req
767. They don't know, right?
They gotta think about it,
Copy !req
768. they gotta talk to their fucking wives,
or the fucking Tooth Fairy.
Copy !req
769. Point is, it doesn't matter
what the fuck they say.
Copy !req
770. The only real objection that they have
is that they don't trust you guys.
Copy !req
771. And why should they trust you?
I mean, look at you.
Copy !req
772. You're a bunch of fucking
sleazy salesmen, right?
Copy !req
773. So, what do you say?
Copy !req
774. You mean to tell me that if I put you in
at Union Carbide at seven
Copy !req
775. and took you out at 32...
Copy !req
776. Texas Instruments at 11
and took you out at 47...
Copy !req
777. U.S. Steel at 16, took you out at 41
Copy !req
778. You wouldn't be saying
to me right now, "Chester,
Copy !req
779. "pick me up
a few thousand shares of Disney
Copy !req
780. "on the spot, right now. Come on."
Copy !req
781. Honestly, Kevin? Honestly? Seriously?
Copy !req
782. I don't know you.
Copy !req
783. You cold-called me.
You're a total stranger.
Copy !req
784. I am in complete agreement with you.
You don't know me, I don't know you.
Copy !req
785. Let me introduce myself to you.
My name is Alden Kupferberg.
Copy !req
786. - Robbie Feinberg.
- Chester Ming.
Copy !req
787. I'm Senior Vice President
at Stratton Oakmont...
Copy !req
788. and I plan on being one of the...
Copy !req
789. top brokers in my firm next year.
Copy !req
790. And I'm not gonna get there
by being wrong, Stanley.
Copy !req
791. I do wanna say that you sound like a...
Copy !req
792. You sound like a pretty sincere guy.
Copy !req
793. It's not gonna make you rich
and it's not gonna make you poor.
Copy !req
794. But what this trade will do is serve as...
Copy !req
795. a benchmark for
future business, Kevin.
Copy !req
796. You feel comfortable
with me now, Scotty?
Copy !req
797. And then you'll know for sure
Copy !req
798. that you finally found
a broker on Wall Street
Copy !req
799. that you can trust,
Copy !req
800. and who can consistently
make you money.
Copy !req
801. Sound fair enough?
Copy !req
802. You know what... Yeah.
Copy !req
803. I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.
Copy !req
804. What are you thinking?
Copy !req
805. Kevin.
Copy !req
806. You give me one shot here
Copy !req
807. on a blue chip stock like Kodak,
Copy !req
808. and believe me, Kevin,
Copy !req
809. the only problem you're gonna have
Copy !req
810. is that you didn't buy more.
Copy !req
811. Sound fair enough?
Copy !req
812. Shit. My...
Copy !req
813. My wife might divorce me, but...
Copy !req
814. Yeah, let's do it.
Copy !req
815. Excellent choice, Kevin.
Copy !req
816. How much do you
want to go for this time?
Copy !req
817. Let's do five... $5,000.
Copy !req
818. Can we try 8,000, Kevin?
Copy !req
819. All right. Let's do 10.
Copy !req
820. - Ten.
- You want to do that?
Copy !req
821. Excellent choice!
Copy !req
822. Kevin, let me lock in that trade right now
and get back to you in a few minutes
Copy !req
823. with an exact confirmation, Kevin.
Copy !req
824. And welcome to Stratton Oakmont.
Copy !req
825. Thanks, man. I'm gonna have a beer.
Copy !req
826. This is fun.
Copy !req
827. Take it easy, Kev.
Copy !req
828. Hey, thanks, Jordan. Thanks a...
Copy !req
829. Fuck that motherfucker!
Copy !req
830. That's what I'm talking about!
Copy !req
831. What a fucking idiot.
Copy !req
832. The one thing I know about
in this world is airlines.
Copy !req
833. And Cuchon Airlines
is the future of airlines.
Copy !req
834. Get in now or...
Copy !req
835. - I'm Nicky Koskoff...
- Chester Ming...
Copy !req
836. and I'm a Senior Vice President
with Stratton Oakmont.
Copy !req
837. Judy, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.
Copy !req
838. When did he pass?
Copy !req
839. Just say I'm wrong, right.
Copy !req
840. And the stock goes down
a couple points...
Copy !req
841. and it makes you,
in the words of my grandfather,
Copy !req
842. God rest his soul, "A shit ton of money."
Copy !req
843. It's like getting in on fucking sunlight
Copy !req
844. before there was fucking sunlight.
You understand?
Copy !req
845. Can we do 8,000 shares?
Copy !req
846. Okay, 25,000.
Copy !req
847. That's a very intelligent decision.
Copy !req
848. I'm gonna transfer you
to my sales associate.
Copy !req
849. Rhonda!
Copy !req
850. - Rhonda!
- ... put you through to Andrea.
Copy !req
851. Has anybody fucking seen Rhonda?
Copy !req
852. Everybody have a good week?
Copy !req
853. Yeah!
Copy !req
854. The end of the month.
Copy !req
855. $28.7 million in gross commissions,
Copy !req
856. all from pink sheet stock, boys!
Copy !req
857. And to celebrate with
our weekly act of debauchery,
Copy !req
858. I have offered
our lovely sales assistant,
Copy !req
859. Danielle Harrison, here,
Copy !req
860. $10,000 to shave her fucking head!
Copy !req
861. Yeah!
Copy !req
862. Yeah, you want this?
Copy !req
863. You want this?
Copy !req
864. Let's scalp her! Scalp her!
Copy !req
865. Let the scalping begin!
Copy !req
866. Scalp! Scalp! Scalp!
Copy !req
867. FYI, boys, Danielle has promised
to use this $10,000 for breast implants!
Copy !req
868. She's already got C cups,
but now she wants fucking double D's!
Copy !req
869. Is this a great fucking
company or what?
Copy !req
870. Is this the greatest company
in the world?
Copy !req
871. Donnie!
Copy !req
872. Blow the roof off this motherfucker!
Copy !req
873. Champagne?
Copy !req
874. Send in the stripees!
Copy !req
875. Mine!
Copy !req
876. Word about us spread
throughout Wall Street.
Copy !req
877. Even the places I didn't want it to.
Copy !req
878. It wasn't long before Forbes magazine,
Copy !req
879. the flagship of Wall Street,
called to do a profile on me.
Copy !req
880. Let me ask you, how do you see
the future for Stratton Oakmont?
Copy !req
881. One word?
Copy !req
882. Diversification.
Copy !req
883. Sounds good. Thank you so much.
I have more than enough.
Copy !req
884. - I appreciate your time.
- Fantastic.
Copy !req
885. Can we get a quick picture?
Copy !req
886. A total fucking hatchet job.
Copy !req
887. This conniving little twat! Look at this!
Copy !req
888. "The Wolf of Wall Street"
they call me. Look.
Copy !req
889. Your hair looks good.
Copy !req
890. - Well, my hair looks good.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
891. "Jordan Belfort, sounding like
a kind of twisted Robin Hood
Copy !req
892. "who takes from the rich
and gives to himself
Copy !req
893. "and his merry little band of brokers."
Copy !req
894. - Read that. Read it.
- Listen.
Copy !req
895. There is no such thing
as bad publicity, sweetheart.
Copy !req
896. Read the article, babe.
Copy !req
897. Jordan, you look great!
You're in a huge magazine.
Copy !req
898. Big fucking deal I look great.
Copy !req
899. Mr. Belfort! Can you
look at my resume, please?
Copy !req
900. Excuse me, excuse me, sir!
Copy !req
901. Calm the fuck down!
Copy !req
902. What the hell's all this?
Copy !req
903. It's the Forbes article.
They all want to work for you now.
Copy !req
904. Hey! What did I say?
Copy !req
905. I'm just trying to be nice.
Copy !req
906. Hey, you want a job, you talk to me!
Copy !req
907. - Mr. Belfort!
- Give me one minute.
Copy !req
908. Forbes made me a superstar.
Copy !req
909. Every day, dozens of money-crazed
kids beat a path to my door.
Copy !req
910. If we hired 'em, they dropped
straight out of college overnight
Copy !req
911. and spent whatever allowance they had
on a new suit from our Stratton tailor.
Copy !req
912. Are you fucking serious right now?
Copy !req
913. I mean, we were literally
putting clothes on these kids' backs.
Copy !req
914. And here comes this jerk-off
sniffing around.
Copy !req
915. But, you know, every time
someone rises up in this world,
Copy !req
916. there's always gonna be
some asshole trying to drag him down.
Copy !req
917. Within months, we doubled in size,
moved to even bigger offices.
Copy !req
918. It was a madhouse.
Copy !req
919. A greed-fest,
Copy !req
920. with equal parts cocaine,
testosterone, and body fluids.
Copy !req
921. Yes!
Copy !req
922. It got so bad, I had to declare
the office a fuck-free zone
Copy !req
923. between the hours of 9:00 and 7:00.
Copy !req
924. But I'm telling you, even that didn't help.
Copy !req
925. Actually, the madness started
on our very first day,
Copy !req
926. when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner,
Copy !req
927. christened the elevator
by getting a blowjob
Copy !req
928. from a sales assistant.
Copy !req
929. Her name was Pam, and to her credit,
Copy !req
930. she did have this amazing technique,
with this wild twist and jerk motion.
Copy !req
931. About a month later,
Copy !req
932. Donnie and I decided
to double-team her
Copy !req
933. on a Saturday afternoon
Copy !req
934. while our wives were out
shopping for Christmas dresses.
Copy !req
935. Eventually, Ben married her,
Copy !req
936. which was pretty amazing
considering she blew
Copy !req
937. every single guy in the office.
Copy !req
938. Then he got depressed
and killed himself three years later.
Copy !req
939. Anyway, I hired my dad, Max,
to maintain order as the Enforcer.
Copy !req
940. Stratton's very own Gestapo.
Copy !req
941. We called him Mad Max
because of his hair-trigger temper,
Copy !req
942. which could be set off by something
as innocuous as a ringing telephone.
Copy !req
943. Who the fuck has the goddamn gall
Copy !req
944. to call this house on a Tuesday night?
Copy !req
945. God damn it!
Copy !req
946. You're gonna miss it!
Copy !req
947. Please, tell me something I don't know.
Copy !req
948. I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer
Copy !req
949. and they have to fucking... Hello.
Copy !req
950. But as soon as
he picked up the phone...
Copy !req
951. Gene. How are you, Gene?
Copy !req
952. he'd affect this weird British accent.
Copy !req
953. Right-o, Gene, that'd be great.
Copy !req
954. Cheerio.
Copy !req
955. It was absolutely bizarre.
Copy !req
956. The fucking halfwit!
Copy !req
957. - He'd hang up...
- You missed it!
Copy !req
958. and then he's Mad Max all over again.
Copy !req
959. Damn it!
Copy !req
960. All right, tell me what happened.
What happened?
Copy !req
961. Well, he discovered
it was the mother's sister.
Copy !req
962. Who's he? Who? Tell me who...
Copy !req
963. The main guy.
You know who the main...
Copy !req
964. The main guy...
Copy !req
965. It was his mother's sister.
She showed up dead.
Copy !req
966. Of course, Mad Max didn't have to know
Copy !req
967. everything we were doing at Stratton.
Copy !req
968. And then there's a big target and we...
Copy !req
969. They get launched at the target.
They stick.
Copy !req
970. There's a bull's-eye and
the bull's-eye's a dollar sign.
Copy !req
971. Whoever gets closer to the dollar sign
Copy !req
972. gets the most points.
Copy !req
973. I'm gonna throw the shit out
of this little fucking thing.
Copy !req
974. So if it gets hurt, what happens?
Copy !req
975. 'Cause we're gonna get fucking nuts.
Copy !req
976. I don't think he's gonna get hurt.
They're like...
Copy !req
977. They got like superhuman strength.
Copy !req
978. I think he's gonna be fine.
Copy !req
979. You can't look him right in the eyes.
Copy !req
980. You can't look him in the eye?
Copy !req
981. That's a fact. I saw it on PBS.
Copy !req
982. They get confused
and their wires get crossed.
Copy !req
983. You gotta look at their chin.
Copy !req
984. Like it looks like I'm looking at you
Copy !req
985. but I'm looking at your chin.
Copy !req
986. I feel like you're addressing me
right now, but you're not, are you?
Copy !req
987. They're like the Mona Lisa.
They find eye contact,
Copy !req
988. like, wherever you are
standing in the room.
Copy !req
989. And they lock in.
Copy !req
990. No, but there is a limit
to what we can do with them?
Copy !req
991. We're allowed to throw shit at 'em.
Copy !req
992. We're allowed to throw food? Bananas.
Copy !req
993. Any food. Correct.
Copy !req
994. But, for example, what I wouldn't do is
Copy !req
995. maybe like tell him to pull his cock out
Copy !req
996. and like get some
of the girls to, you know,
Copy !req
997. fondle him and shit like that.
Copy !req
998. That would be... That's unacceptable?
Copy !req
999. Let's keep that in our back pocket.
Copy !req
1000. This guy is more about
throwing at the dartboard.
Copy !req
1001. Correct. Yes, yes, yes.
Copy !req
1002. The thing is, this is their gift, okay.
Copy !req
1003. They're built to be thrown
like a lawn dart.
Copy !req
1004. They're top heavy like a lawn dart.
Copy !req
1005. So they're built for accuracy.
Copy !req
1006. Oh, my God. Can we bowl with this guy?
Copy !req
1007. That's his fucking brother, Rob.
Copy !req
1008. His brother's the bowling ball.
Copy !req
1009. The brother, you put
a skateboard on him,
Copy !req
1010. you strap him to a skateboard,
Copy !req
1011. you toss him down
an alley at some pins.
Copy !req
1012. - No shit. That's interesting.
- Swear to fucking God.
Copy !req
1013. - Can we get that guy?
- Yeah, we'll get that guy, too.
Copy !req
1014. But it says here this guy
will show his cock. Yeah.
Copy !req
1015. - Instead of growing up. Yeah.
- He will?
Copy !req
1016. They are very ornery by the way,
Copy !req
1017. so you gotta be very careful
with these little guys.
Copy !req
1018. Safety first.
Copy !req
1019. Safety is first, all right?
Copy !req
1020. I want somebody with
a fucking tranquilizer gun
Copy !req
1021. ready to knock this fucker out.
Copy !req
1022. - Do we want to get like a...
- Mace. Taser guns.
Copy !req
1023. A pellet gun maybe?
Copy !req
1024. No, a pellet gun is gonna hurt him.
Copy !req
1025. I just want him out. Knocked out cold.
Copy !req
1026. But I say we stick with the loophole.
Right? Okay?
Copy !req
1027. If we don't consider him a human,
Copy !req
1028. we just consider it an act,
I think we're in the clear.
Copy !req
1029. Like The Flying Wallendas.
Copy !req
1030. You know, a lot of those guys died
but they never sued anybody.
Copy !req
1031. The important thing
you guys gotta keep in mind
Copy !req
1032. is that these things gossip.
Copy !req
1033. They get together and they gossip.
Copy !req
1034. - That's a good point.
- And the last thing
Copy !req
1035. that we need is them
getting together and saying,
Copy !req
1036. "Oh, they made fun of us."
Copy !req
1037. Like, it's gonna make Stratton look bad.
Copy !req
1038. That's why I love you.
You think of shit like that.
Copy !req
1039. When they come in,
we treat it just like one of us. Okay?
Copy !req
1040. One of us. Gooble gobble, one of us.
Copy !req
1041. We accept them, one of us!
Copy !req
1042. Gooble gobble, one of us.
Copy !req
1043. We accept them, one of us.
Copy !req
1044. Gooble gobble, one of us!
Copy !req
1045. Jordan! Your dad's coming.
Copy !req
1046. Something about
the American Express bill.
Copy !req
1047. Can you get him out of here?
Copy !req
1048. Yeah. Lick my twat.
Copy !req
1049. No, I'm serious!
Copy !req
1050. Fuck. Guys, act like we're working.
Copy !req
1051. You got any fucking stock forms?
Copy !req
1052. He's coming, he's coming.
Copy !req
1053. Make some shit up.
Copy !req
1054. I think if we short Pfizer...
Copy !req
1055. $430,000 in one month, Jordy, huh?
Copy !req
1056. Four hundred and fucking 30,000
fucking dollars in one fucking month!
Copy !req
1057. Good morning.
They're business expenses. Relax.
Copy !req
1058. - Business expenses?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1059. - Jordy, look what you got here.
- What?
Copy !req
1060. Look at this. $26,000
for one fucking dinner!
Copy !req
1061. Okay. No, no. This could be explained.
Copy !req
1062. Dad, we had clients. The Pfizer clients.
Copy !req
1063. Right. The porterhouse from Argentina.
Copy !req
1064. Expensive champagne and...
We had to buy champagne.
Copy !req
1065. And you ordered all the fucking sides.
Copy !req
1066. - Tell him about the sides.
- I ordered sides, so...
Copy !req
1067. Sides? $26,000 worth of sides?
Copy !req
1068. What are these sides?
They cure cancer?
Copy !req
1069. The sides did cure cancer.
That's the problem.
Copy !req
1070. That's why they were expensive.
Copy !req
1071. - Shut the fuck up.
- I'm serious.
Copy !req
1072. - Stop.
- And EJ Entertainment?
Copy !req
1073. What the fuck is EJ Entertainment?
Copy !req
1074. Well, that's...
Copy !req
1075. Yeah, Jordy, what's EJ Entertainment?
Copy !req
1076. How do I describe this?
Copy !req
1077. Jord, what is that?
Copy !req
1078. - It's a fucking prostitution ring, Jordy!
- I know.
Copy !req
1079. - That's what it is!
- That is what it is.
Copy !req
1080. Isn't that the perfect description for it?
Copy !req
1081. That is what it is.
But none of these were charged to me.
Copy !req
1082. This is all of them.
Copy !req
1083. - Oh, that was all us?
- It wasn't me though.
Copy !req
1084. Fucking explain this shit to him!
Copy !req
1085. These are all of your
fucking charges right here!
Copy !req
1086. The IRS, they allow for T&A. It's fine.
Copy !req
1087. T&E!
Copy !req
1088. T&E!
Copy !req
1089. Yeah. I said T&E.
Copy !req
1090. - No, no. You said T&A.
- No, I didn't.
Copy !req
1091. Yeah, you did.
Copy !req
1092. - When did I say that?
- You said T&A. It's T&E.
Copy !req
1093. I know you're upset about the dinner,
Copy !req
1094. and that makes sense because we did
spend too much money. But I said T&E.
Copy !req
1095. Don't tell me what you said.
I heard what you said.
Copy !req
1096. - Dad. He said T&A.
- He did?
Copy !req
1097. Absolutely, no question.
Copy !req
1098. I'm trying to...
Copy !req
1099. I'm getting this close!
Copy !req
1100. - Dad, relax.
- I'm getting this close.
Copy !req
1101. That's what I'm saying.
I want you to open up more, Max.
Copy !req
1102. He's gonna fucking kill you.
Copy !req
1103. Why do you hold it in? Why do you...
Copy !req
1104. Max, why do you hold it in?
Copy !req
1105. That's it. Get the fuck out of here!
Copy !req
1106. - No, no, no!
- Asshole, get out of here.
Copy !req
1107. What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
Copy !req
1108. A rich one.
Copy !req
1109. At Stratton, there were
three kinds of hookers.
Copy !req
1110. The Blue Chips, top of
the line, model material.
Copy !req
1111. They cost between $300 and $500
Copy !req
1112. and you had to wear a condom
unless you gave them a hefty tip,
Copy !req
1113. which, of course, I always did.
Copy !req
1114. Then came the NASDAQs,
who were pretty, not great.
Copy !req
1115. They cost between 200 and 300 bucks.
Copy !req
1116. Finally, there were
the Pink Sheets. Skanks.
Copy !req
1117. They cost about 100 or less.
If you didn't wear a condom,
Copy !req
1118. you'd have to get a penicillin shot
Copy !req
1119. the next day
and pray your dick didn't fall off.
Copy !req
1120. Not that we didn't fuck them, too.
Copy !req
1121. Believe me, we did.
Copy !req
1122. It's that slipped disc thing again.
Copy !req
1123. I know what it is. You know, too much...
Copy !req
1124. with EJ Entertainment.
Copy !req
1125. Pops.
Copy !req
1126. How are things at home?
Copy !req
1127. Well, not the best.
Copy !req
1128. She just doesn't...
You know what I'm saying?
Copy !req
1129. It's like the smell...
Copy !req
1130. There's a smell,
there's an attraction thing.
Copy !req
1131. After a while it kind of
fades away a little bit.
Copy !req
1132. Yeah, well. It's supposed to fade away.
Copy !req
1133. - Supposed to?
- That's marriage. You know...
Copy !req
1134. Your mother and I, we've been
married a long, long time.
Copy !req
1135. What do you think? We're...
Copy !req
1136. We're jumping into bed
every two minutes?
Copy !req
1137. - It doesn't work that way.
- I love her to death.
Copy !req
1138. I want to stay married, Dad, but...
Copy !req
1139. It's crazy out there.
Copy !req
1140. Some of these girls...
You should see them.
Copy !req
1141. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1142. They're fucking...
Copy !req
1143. The things they're doing now, Pops.
Copy !req
1144. I mean... I mean, it's on
a whole other level.
Copy !req
1145. - Really?
- And they're all shaved, too.
Copy !req
1146. - Get out of here!
- All shaven.
Copy !req
1147. - Are you kidding me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1148. - Bald as a china doll.
- No bush?
Copy !req
1149. - No bush.
- Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1150. All of a sudden, one week, nobody
had anything down there anymore.
Copy !req
1151. It's a new world.
Copy !req
1152. They're bald from the eyebrows down.
Copy !req
1153. - Wow.
- Nothing. Not a stitch. It's like lasers.
Copy !req
1154. Wow. A new world.
Copy !req
1155. I was born too... Too early.
Copy !req
1156. I've never been a fan
of the bush, to be honest.
Copy !req
1157. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1158. I don't mind it.
Copy !req
1159. Dad.
Copy !req
1160. I don't want you stressing out
about any of this.
Copy !req
1161. How can I not get stressed out?
Copy !req
1162. Look at the knuckleheads
you got working for you.
Copy !req
1163. I know they're knuckleheads
Copy !req
1164. but I need them to want
to live like me, you get it?
Copy !req
1165. To live like me.
Copy !req
1166. Jordy.
Copy !req
1167. One of these days, the chickens
are gonna come home to roost.
Copy !req
1168. You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Copy !req
1169. Crazy? This is obscene.
Copy !req
1170. It was obscene.
Copy !req
1171. In the normal world.
Copy !req
1172. But who the fuck wanted to live there?
Copy !req
1173. Go party your fucking cocks off!
Copy !req
1174. We are about to become
fucking legends
Copy !req
1175. on Wall Street!
Copy !req
1176. We got plans up here
that's gonna take this company
Copy !req
1177. into the fucking stratosphere!
Copy !req
1178. Wolfie! Wolfie!
Copy !req
1179. Fuck Merrill Lynch. Fuck them.
Copy !req
1180. Why should they be taking all our
fucking money all the fucking time?
Copy !req
1181. This way we become the underwriters.
Copy !req
1182. It was our next big move.
Copy !req
1183. Finding companies to take public. IPOs.
Copy !req
1184. It was the only way
these Wall Street pricks
Copy !req
1185. would ever stop thinking of us
as some shitkicker bucket shop.
Copy !req
1186. We got Arncliffe International.
Copy !req
1187. See, we were a little different.
Copy !req
1188. We liked to get as fucked up as
possible during our business powwows
Copy !req
1189. in order to stimulate
our free-flowing ideas,
Copy !req
1190. which is why we were popping
these ludes like they were M&M's.
Copy !req
1191. Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1192. We own the fucking companies...
Copy !req
1193. We own the companies...
Copy !req
1194. Don't know what a lude is? I'll tell you.
Copy !req
1195. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
1196. Looks like those ludes are working
their magic on Donnie right now.
Copy !req
1197. The Quaalude,
Copy !req
1198. or lude, as it is commonly referred to,
Copy !req
1199. was first synthesized in 1951
Copy !req
1200. by an Indian doctor,
that's dots, not feathers,
Copy !req
1201. as a sedative,
Copy !req
1202. and was prescribed to stressed-out
housewives with sleep disorders.
Copy !req
1203. But pretty soon someone figured out
Copy !req
1204. that if you resisted the urge to sleep
for just 15 minutes,
Copy !req
1205. you got a pretty kick-ass high from it.
Copy !req
1206. Didn't take long for people
to start abusing ludes, of course.
Copy !req
1207. And in 1982,
the U. S. government Schedule 1 'd them.
Copy !req
1208. Along with the rest of the world.
Copy !req
1209. Which meant there was
only a finite amount of these things left.
Copy !req
1210. No shit, you can't
even buy 'em anymore.
Copy !req
1211. You people are all shit out of luck.
Copy !req
1212. What are you saying? What is it?
Copy !req
1213. Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1214. Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1215. Steve.
Copy !req
1216. Steve.
Copy !req
1217. You remember those ads?
Copy !req
1218. Those giant-headed girls
with the bug eyes
Copy !req
1219. wearing those big clunky shoes?
Copy !req
1220. My friend from school, Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1221. His friend from school, Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1222. Steve Madden was the name
in women's shoes at the moment.
Copy !req
1223. And all of Wall Street was
begging to take his company public.
Copy !req
1224. Go ahead, go ahead, what is it?
Copy !req
1225. Except, guess who grew up with him?
Copy !req
1226. - Women's shoes.
- Women's shoes.
Copy !req
1227. My very own Vice President.
Copy !req
1228. Women's shoes!
Copy !req
1229. Diamond Donnie Azoff.
Copy !req
1230. - Steve Madden.
- Steve.
Copy !req
1231. Steve.
Copy !req
1232. Hey, JB, JB, JB, JB.
Copy !req
1233. You gotta come check
this fucking chick out.
Copy !req
1234. Look at this. Look.
Copy !req
1235. I would fuck that girl
if she was my sister.
Copy !req
1236. I would let that girl
give me fucking AIDS.
Copy !req
1237. You want to see the Wolf handle this?
Copy !req
1238. She's hot.
Copy !req
1239. Cristy.
Copy !req
1240. Jordan, this is my friend Naomi.
Copy !req
1241. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Naomi.
Copy !req
1242. Naomi, nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1243. You got an awesome place here.
Copy !req
1244. I've don't think I've ever been
in a house this big before.
Copy !req
1245. - Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1246. Beautiful beach out there.
Copy !req
1247. Blair Hollingsworth.
Copy !req
1248. Hi, Blair. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1249. - Your name's Blair, right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1250. You like to Jet Ski?
Copy !req
1251. I've never done it before.
Copy !req
1252. You've never Jet Ski'd in your life?
Copy !req
1253. No, I've never Jet Ski'd.
Copy !req
1254. You've never been on a Jet Ski?
Copy !req
1255. How many times
are you gonna ask her?
Copy !req
1256. She's never been on a Jet Ski.
Copy !req
1257. I don't know.
Might ask her a couple more times.
Copy !req
1258. Okay. Sure.
Copy !req
1259. Hi. I'm Hildy. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1260. - Hi.
- Jordan, Teresa needs your help.
Copy !req
1261. Yeah, I'll be out in a couple of minutes.
Copy !req
1262. Just tell her I'll be
out in a couple of minutes.
Copy !req
1263. Why don't you tell your wife that?
Copy !req
1264. I might do that, but I'm having
Copy !req
1265. - a conversation right now.
- What am I, your secretary?
Copy !req
1266. You know what,
I think we should get going.
Copy !req
1267. Wait, wait. Where you guys going?
Copy !req
1268. We gotta go.
We got two other parties to go to.
Copy !req
1269. - We can stay for a drink.
- Yeah, stay for a drink.
Copy !req
1270. No. We got two other parties
we're supposed to get to.
Copy !req
1271. But we can stay for a drink...
Copy !req
1272. She's
Copy !req
1273. perfect.
Copy !req
1274. - You like champagne?
- I do.
Copy !req
1275. She's perfect.
Copy !req
1276. Donnie, what the fuck are you doing?
Copy !req
1277. You piece of...
Copy !req
1278. You're gonna have
to excuse my friend. He gets...
Copy !req
1279. Get the fuck out!
Copy !req
1280. Jordan, you gotta fuck her, bro.
She's so hot!
Copy !req
1281. Yeah, Donnie!
Copy !req
1282. Let him fucking finish, Hildy.
Copy !req
1283. That's fucking rude.
Copy !req
1284. Have some fucking manners.
Copy !req
1285. So, Bay Ridge,
that's near Staten Island, right?
Copy !req
1286. Brooklyn, across the Verrazano Bridge.
Copy !req
1287. Saturday Night Fever territory.
Copy !req
1288. That's right. Guinea Gulch.
Copy !req
1289. We call the Verrazano Bridge
the Guinea Gangplank.
Copy !req
1290. Right.
Copy !req
1291. So I presume you're Italian?
Copy !req
1292. On my dad's side.
Copy !req
1293. I'm also Dutch, German, English.
Copy !req
1294. I'm a mutt.
Copy !req
1295. Yeah. You're a mutt.
Copy !req
1296. Yeah, I still have family
over there though, in London.
Copy !req
1297. My Aunt Emma. She's the best.
Copy !req
1298. Very British, you know.
She's a classy lady.
Copy !req
1299. That explains it then.
Copy !req
1300. Explains what?
Copy !req
1301. It explains you. I mean,
you're a duchess, right?
Copy !req
1302. The Duchess of Bay Ridge.
Copy !req
1303. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1304. Could I get a straw, please?
Copy !req
1305. Thank you.
Copy !req
1306. So I was a little surprised
you asked Cristy for my number.
Copy !req
1307. Why is that?
Copy !req
1308. Aren't you married?
Copy !req
1309. Well... Yeah, but what?
Copy !req
1310. Married people can't have friends?
Copy !req
1311. We're gonna be friends?
Copy !req
1312. Yeah. You don't want to be my friend?
Copy !req
1313. We're not gonna be friends.
Copy !req
1314. And at night I work on my designs.
Copy !req
1315. I have an entire line of lingerie.
Copy !req
1316. You know, camisoles, bustiers, panties.
Copy !req
1317. She designs women's panties, too?
Copy !req
1318. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1319. Come on, Jordan, think of a way
to get up to her apartment.
Copy !req
1320. You wanna come up for
some tea or something?
Copy !req
1321. Tea? Yeah.
Copy !req
1322. - Like hot tea?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1323. Oh, yeah. That sounds nice. Yeah.
Copy !req
1324. Tea. Fuck, yeah, I wanted
to come up for tea.
Copy !req
1325. Like Darjeeling or rose hip,
something nice like that?
Copy !req
1326. Sure.
Copy !req
1327. This is Rocky.
Copy !req
1328. Oh, who's this? Say hi, Rocky.
Copy !req
1329. Hi, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1330. Okay.
Copy !req
1331. Why don't you light a fire or something
and I'll be right out.
Copy !req
1332. - Yeah. Fire, here?
- Sure.
Copy !req
1333. I like your painting here. It's...
Copy !req
1334. God, help me. How do I fuck this girl?
Copy !req
1335. You all right?
Copy !req
1336. Yeah, yeah. Just trying
to light the fire here.
Copy !req
1337. That's it. That's it, you're leaving.
Copy !req
1338. Don't get involved.
Go home to your wife.
Copy !req
1339. As you can probably guess,
Copy !req
1340. I fucked her goddamn brains out...
Copy !req
1341. Jesus Lord!
Copy !req
1342. For 11 seconds.
Copy !req
1343. Did you just come?
Copy !req
1344. Oh, yeah, I just came.
Copy !req
1345. Did you? Did you come?
Copy !req
1346. - No.
- No?
Copy !req
1347. Okay.
Copy !req
1348. I'm still hard so just give me a sec.
Copy !req
1349. Sure.
Copy !req
1350. Come on, baby, come on.
Copy !req
1351. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1352. Oh, God!
Copy !req
1353. Fuck off, Rocky! Bad dog.
Copy !req
1354. You have a biscuit
or something like that?
Copy !req
1355. It's okay.
Copy !req
1356. - Just keep going.
- Rocky, go play.
Copy !req
1357. Go play, Rocky. Go, go, go, go.
Copy !req
1358. You're crazy.
Copy !req
1359. I couldn't get enough.
Copy !req
1360. I mean, her pussy
was like heroin to me.
Copy !req
1361. And it wasn't just about the sex, either.
Copy !req
1362. Naomi and I got along. I mean, we...
Copy !req
1363. We had similar interests and shit.
Copy !req
1364. Choc-choc tram.
Copy !req
1365. Yeah.
Copy !req
1366. I think I can. I think I can.
I think I can. I think I can.
Copy !req
1367. Yeah, yeah.
Let's toke it all on there, huh?
Copy !req
1368. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1369. You!
Copy !req
1370. Get out of the fucking car!
Copy !req
1371. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
1372. Son of a bitch! Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
1373. Relax, sweetheart. Relax.
Copy !req
1374. - Son of a fucking bitch!
- Okay, okay... Geez!
Copy !req
1375. Okay, babe, stop!
Copy !req
1376. Please.
Copy !req
1377. Bitch!
Copy !req
1378. - What are you doing...
- That whore from the party?
Copy !req
1379. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
1380. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Copy !req
1381. I thought you were at the fucking beach!
Copy !req
1382. I didn't know you were here!
Copy !req
1383. That's where you've fucking been?
Copy !req
1384. With that fucking whore from the party?
Copy !req
1385. I thought you were at the beach house.
Copy !req
1386. How could you do this to me?
Copy !req
1387. - Sweetie, come on...
- Who the fuck are you, Jordan?
Copy !req
1388. You're like a completely
different fucking person!
Copy !req
1389. I made a mistake.
I don't know what to tell you, babe. I...
Copy !req
1390. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1391. - I'm sorry.
- Is that who... Is that what you want?
Copy !req
1392. Do you love her?
Copy !req
1393. Answer me.
Copy !req
1394. I felt horrible.
Copy !req
1395. Three days later, I filed for a divorce
Copy !req
1396. and moved Naomi into the apartment.
Copy !req
1397. Say what you will,
but the Duchess did have style.
Copy !req
1398. She brought in a decorator,
feng shui'd the whole place.
Copy !req
1399. She even hired a gay butler.
Copy !req
1400. This guy was smart,
sophisticated, professional.
Copy !req
1401. Really, really great.
Copy !req
1402. Is that jasmine?
Copy !req
1403. Yes, sir. I tried to stump you
this evening. Very good.
Copy !req
1404. Very good. Great nose.
Copy !req
1405. Except for that one time.
Copy !req
1406. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1407. Oh, hey.
Copy !req
1408. Is it Wednesday already?
Copy !req
1409. Oh, don't stop.
Copy !req
1410. What the fuck!
Copy !req
1411. That is fucked up!
Copy !req
1412. He must have thought we were still
Copy !req
1413. at the Hamptons
this weekend, you know.
Copy !req
1414. Where were they doing it,
sweetheart? In the bedroom?
Copy !req
1415. They were everywhere. There were
two guys over there on the table.
Copy !req
1416. There were more over here.
Copy !req
1417. There were four right here.
Copy !req
1418. Are you fucking serious? Right there?
Copy !req
1419. - Why didn't you tell me?
- Oh, baby, it gets worse.
Copy !req
1420. After they left, I checked the apartment.
Copy !req
1421. Right. What?
Copy !req
1422. What is it, babe? What?
Copy !req
1423. Where's my money?
Copy !req
1424. I don't know where your money...
Copy !req
1425. Where is my fucking money?
Where is it?
Copy !req
1426. I don't know where
your money is, Mr. Belfort.
Copy !req
1427. - I didn't do anything.
- If you don't get...
Copy !req
1428. He's lying through his fucking teeth.
Copy !req
1429. Let's start from the beginning.
Copy !req
1430. Let's start from the beginning, all right?
Copy !req
1431. You invited some friends over, right?
Copy !req
1432. One thing led to another.
Things got out of hand.
Copy !req
1433. We understand that, we do.
Copy !req
1434. We do blow all the time.
We're fucking degenerates ourselves.
Copy !req
1435. Look at us, right?
Copy !req
1436. But money was stolen
from my apartment.
Copy !req
1437. Right from my sock drawer. All right?
Copy !req
1438. Like I said, I don't know
where your money is.
Copy !req
1439. Just start from the beginning.
Who came over?
Copy !req
1440. It was just a normal day.
Copy !req
1441. I knew you were coming home
the next day.
Copy !req
1442. So everything would be fine.
It'd be cleaned up.
Copy !req
1443. I got a little high at breakfast.
Copy !req
1444. So I got a little happy. I had some eggs,
Copy !req
1445. I had a little bit of ice cream.
Copy !req
1446. And then I said,
"Who do I know that likes ice cream?"
Copy !req
1447. It's my friend, Rudy. So I called Rudy.
Copy !req
1448. - Who's Rudy?
- Yeah, who's Rudy?
Copy !req
1449. - You know who Rudy is. Come on.
- Me? I don't...
Copy !req
1450. - You know...
- Who the fuck is Rudy?
Copy !req
1451. I don't know anyone named Rudy.
Copy !req
1452. Last month. The Lollipop Club.
Copy !req
1453. You know who Rudy was. Dancing...
Copy !req
1454. You know who Rudy is?
Copy !req
1455. I don't fucking know any...
Copy !req
1456. What do you mean?
Copy !req
1457. So he went to The Lollipop Club?
Copy !req
1458. Oh, he was
at The Lollipop Club for sure.
Copy !req
1459. On the stage, grinding with everybody.
Copy !req
1460. I got fucked up. I like to dance.
Copy !req
1461. I don't know.
Maybe I met him, maybe I didn't.
Copy !req
1462. I meet a lot of fucking people.
Copy !req
1463. - What are you saying?
- $50,000 was stolen
Copy !req
1464. from my fucking sock drawer!
Copy !req
1465. All my girlfriend's jewelry is gone.
Copy !req
1466. - Where the fuck is it?
- ... Rudy. What the fuck?
Copy !req
1467. Did your fucking little faggot
friend Rudy take my shit?
Copy !req
1468. Did he? Answer me!
Copy !req
1469. Okay. Now I get it. Now I get why I'm...
Copy !req
1470. This is a gay thing.
Copy !req
1471. See, all of you...
Copy !req
1472. You think this is 'cause you're a fag?
Copy !req
1473. My cousin's a fucking faggot.
Copy !req
1474. And I go on vacation with him
and his boyfriend. I love fags.
Copy !req
1475. You were in charge, right?
Copy !req
1476. I will not be stolen from. You get that?
Copy !req
1477. I fucking like gay people. I don't like you.
Copy !req
1478. He should've hired a fucking Mexican
like I have in my fucking house.
Copy !req
1479. Shit! What the fuck...
Copy !req
1480. Talk, you fuck, talk!
Copy !req
1481. I'm gonna drop you, you faggot!
Copy !req
1482. Where is it?
Copy !req
1483. Chester and Toby,
they went all yakuza on Nicholas.
Copy !req
1484. You know, they got crazy.
Copy !req
1485. I don't know!
Copy !req
1486. I had to call the cops just to keep
them from killing the poor guy.
Copy !req
1487. I gave them each 1,000 bucks
and told them what Nicholas had done.
Copy !req
1488. Then they kicked his ass.
Copy !req
1489. Thanks again, Officer.
Copy !req
1490. It's not like I cared about
the 50 grand anyway.
Copy !req
1491. I was making that much
almost every day
Copy !req
1492. through one rathole or another.
Copy !req
1493. Now a rathole is a friend,
like Brad here,
Copy !req
1494. who held stock in his name for me.
Copy !req
1495. Who are you supposed to be, huh?
Jack Nickle-Jew?
Copy !req
1496. I 'd drive the price up then he'd sell
and kick most of the profits back to...
Copy !req
1497. You guessed it, me.
Copy !req
1498. All cash. None of it's on the books.
Copy !req
1499. A big no-no, of course,
in the eyes of the law.
Copy !req
1500. Enter our new securities
attorney, Manny Riskin.
Copy !req
1501. 700 bucks an hour
to be the voice of doom.
Copy !req
1502. Listen to me. You piss up the SEC's leg,
Copy !req
1503. you end up with your tits in a ringer.
Copy !req
1504. Do not worry about it.
I have the SEC under control.
Copy !req
1505. What the fuck
are these imbéciles doing?
Copy !req
1506. Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
1507. What are you doing? Hey!
Copy !req
1508. We got the SEC in here.
Copy !req
1509. The Securities
and Exchange Commission
Copy !req
1510. sent two lawyers down
to review our files.
Copy !req
1511. So I set them up in our conference room
Copy !req
1512. and I had it bugged
Copy !req
1513. and the air conditioning
turned up so high
Copy !req
1514. that it felt like Antarctica in there.
Copy !req
1515. Is it always this cold in here?
Copy !req
1516. I don't know.
Copy !req
1517. Then, while they were looking
Copy !req
1518. for a smoking gun in that room...
Copy !req
1519. Arncliffe International is on fire.
Copy !req
1520. I was gonna fire off a bazooka in here,
Copy !req
1521. offering up our latest IPO.
Copy !req
1522. An IPO is an initial public offering.
Copy !req
1523. It's the first time a stock is offered
for sale to the general population.
Copy !req
1524. Now, as the firm taking
the company public,
Copy !req
1525. we set the initial sales price
Copy !req
1526. then sold those shares
right back to our friends. The...
Copy !req
1527. Look.
Copy !req
1528. I know you're not following
what I'm saying anyway, right?
Copy !req
1529. That's okay. That doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1530. The real question is this.
Copy !req
1531. "Was all this legal?"
Copy !req
1532. Absolutely fucking not.
Copy !req
1533. But we were making more money
than we knew what to do with.
Copy !req
1534. And what do you do when you're making
Copy !req
1535. more money
than you know what to do with?
Copy !req
1536. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1537. Will you marry me?
Copy !req
1538. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1539. Is that a yes?
Copy !req
1540. Are you sure?
Copy !req
1541. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure.
Copy !req
1542. - Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1543. I held my bachelor party
at the Mirage in Las Vegas.
Copy !req
1544. The flight there alone was a bacchanal.
Copy !req
1545. One last blowout for the gods
before I settled down for good.
Copy !req
1546. A hundred Strattonites,
Copy !req
1547. 50 hookers, plus 50 more waiting
once we landed.
Copy !req
1548. Oh, and the drugs.
Copy !req
1549. I mean, I tell you, our plane was
like a pharmacy with wings.
Copy !req
1550. All told, the weekend
cost me two million bucks,
Copy !req
1551. including the cost
of refurbishing the entire 28th floor.
Copy !req
1552. kiss the bride.
Copy !req
1553. But the wedding
was something out of a fairy tale.
Copy !req
1554. With Naomi, my Duchess,
Copy !req
1555. me, her handsome Duke,
Copy !req
1556. and The Bahamas Ocean Club,
our castle.
Copy !req
1557. Of course, after the bachelor party,
me, the Duke,
Copy !req
1558. needed a few penicillin shots
so he could
Copy !req
1559. safely consummate the marriage.
Copy !req
1560. Hey! Barry Kleinman,
filming the wedding.
Copy !req
1561. A few words for your son?
Copy !req
1562. Jordan. Remember what I told you.
Copy !req
1563. It involves your penis and her vagina.
Copy !req
1564. And you know, you know
what you can do, Jordy.
Copy !req
1565. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1566. Aunt Emma?
Copy !req
1567. I can't believe you came!
Copy !req
1568. Jordan! Jordan! Look who came!
Copy !req
1569. It's Aunt Emma.
Copy !req
1570. Aunt Emma.
Copy !req
1571. - Oh, Jordan, dear, how lovely.
- Hey, how you doing?
Copy !req
1572. It's a pleasure
to finally meet you in person.
Copy !req
1573. Into the donuts, I see.
Copy !req
1574. Oh, I... I...
Copy !req
1575. Well...
Copy !req
1576. I lived through the '60s, my dear.
Copy !req
1577. Enjoy the day.
Copy !req
1578. She surprised me. I didn't even know.
Copy !req
1579. Just one more step. Are you ready?
Copy !req
1580. - Where are we going?
- Keep your eyes closed.
Copy !req
1581. One, two, three!
Copy !req
1582. What is this?
Copy !req
1583. - It's your wedding present.
- What?
Copy !req
1584. It's your wedding present, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1585. What?
Copy !req
1586. - Are you serious?
- I'm serious.
Copy !req
1587. A fucking yacht?
Copy !req
1588. For millionaires
whose ships have come in,
Copy !req
1589. pricey pleasure boats
are for the most fun afloat.
Copy !req
1590. It's no coincidence that
its 150 feet of green hull
Copy !req
1591. is the color of cash. Anchors aweigh!
Copy !req
1592. Oh, my God! Baby!
Copy !req
1593. - I think you like it?
- You're crazy.
Copy !req
1594. - You like it?
- Yes!
Copy !req
1595. For three weeks, we sailed
the Naomi through the Caribbean,
Copy !req
1596. eventually taking her home
to Long Island,
Copy !req
1597. where we bought a house.
Copy !req
1598. Seven acres on
the Gold Coast of Long Island.
Copy !req
1599. The most expensive
real estate in the world.
Copy !req
1600. With maids, cooks, landscapers,
you name it.
Copy !req
1601. We even had two guards
who worked in shifts.
Copy !req
1602. Both named Rocco.
Copy !req
1603. It was heaven on earth.
Copy !req
1604. Wake up, you piece of shit!
Copy !req
1605. Who's Venice?
Copy !req
1606. - Huh?
- 'Who?
Copy !req
1607. Who? Who?
Copy !req
1608. "Who?" What are you, a fucking owl?
Copy !req
1609. Who is she?
Copy !req
1610. Some little hooker
you were fucking last night?
Copy !req
1611. What the fuck are
you talking about? No.
Copy !req
1612. No way, baby, no!
Copy !req
1613. You were calling
her name in your sleep!
Copy !req
1614. Are you out of your
fucking mind? I don't...
Copy !req
1615. I don't even know who Venice is.
Copy !req
1616. What the fuck does that
even mean? Venice.
Copy !req
1617. That's the stupidest shit
I've ever heard in my fucking life!
Copy !req
1618. Venice...
Copy !req
1619. Venice, baby, where are you?
Copy !req
1620. Venice!
Copy !req
1621. Venice!
Copy !req
1622. Where'd you go?
Copy !req
1623. Oh, baby.
Oh, you're gonna play rough, huh?
Copy !req
1624. - Oh, Jesus Christ!
- You like that?
Copy !req
1625. I like it. I like it.
Copy !req
1626. Wolfie, Wolfie, Wolfie, Wolfie.
Copy !req
1627. Wolfie?
Copy !req
1628. Yeah, it's my safe word, baby.
It's my safe word.
Copy !req
1629. I don't give a fuck about your safe word!
Copy !req
1630. - Come on!
- Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
1631. Shut up, you little bitch!
Copy !req
1632. You're a fucking dirty little birdy!
Copy !req
1633. That's right.
Copy !req
1634. That's right! I forgot.
Copy !req
1635. I forgot, baby.
Copy !req
1636. Donnie and I were investing
in a condominium complex in Venice.
Copy !req
1637. That's why all this confusion.
Copy !req
1638. Oh, you're investing in Italy?
Copy !req
1639. Not Italy. California.
Copy !req
1640. - Oh, California?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1641. You're a lying piece of shit!
Copy !req
1642. Duchess, baby, come on.
Copy !req
1643. Don't you fucking "Duchess" me.
Copy !req
1644. Don't you "Duchess" me!
Copy !req
1645. Do you really think that
I don't know what you're up to?
Copy !req
1646. - You're a father now, Jordan.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1647. - You're a father now.
- I know...
Copy !req
1648. And you're still acting like an infant!
Copy !req
1649. God damn it!
Copy !req
1650. Baby, you know,
you got real anger issues.
Copy !req
1651. Who is the one who flew in here
Copy !req
1652. at 3:00 in the morning
on their stupid helicopter
Copy !req
1653. and woke up Skylar? That was you!
Copy !req
1654. Oh, Skylar! Oh, fucking bullshit!
Copy !req
1655. Does it even matter to you
that I just had that driving range
Copy !req
1656. sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan,
Copy !req
1657. - and now you fucking wrecked it!
- Oh, my God... Bermuda grass.
Copy !req
1658. No, you didn't research the whole thing
Copy !req
1659. and deal with the fucking
golf course people!
Copy !req
1660. Oh, my God,
Copy !req
1661. you had to deal
with the golf course people, too!
Copy !req
1662. What a Greek tragedy, honey!
Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1663. You probably had to pay them
in cash with your hands!
Copy !req
1664. What a fucking burden.
Copy !req
1665. And actually do some work
besides swiping
Copy !req
1666. my fucking credit card all day, huh?
Copy !req
1667. Because I can't keep track
of your professions, honey.
Copy !req
1668. 'Cause last month
you were a wine connoisseur.
Copy !req
1669. Now you're an aspiring
landscape architect!
Copy !req
1670. - Let me get that right... No!
- Fuck you!
Copy !req
1671. Don't fucking dare throw that
Copy !req
1672. fucking water at me.
Don't you fucking dare.
Copy !req
1673. All right, honey?
Copy !req
1674. Now will you just...
Copy !req
1675. We could talk this out, all right?
Copy !req
1676. We just use our words. You know?
Copy !req
1677. Communicate.
Copy !req
1678. Okay?
Copy !req
1679. Come on, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1680. Talk to me. Talk to me.
Copy !req
1681. Stop flexing your muscles, Jordan.
Copy !req
1682. You look like a fucking imbecile.
Copy !req
1683. Babe, come on.
Copy !req
1684. You should feel happy
you got a husband
Copy !req
1685. who's in such great shape
like this, huh?
Copy !req
1686. Come here.
Copy !req
1687. Come on, give me a kiss.
Copy !req
1688. You look so beautiful right now.
Copy !req
1689. - Come on.
- Kiss you?
Copy !req
1690. - You look so beautiful...
- Kiss you?
Copy !req
1691. Yeah, give me one...
Copy !req
1692. FUCK you!
Copy !req
1693. Ah, yes, my morning ritual.
Copy !req
1694. First I'd get up and fight with Naomi
Copy !req
1695. about whatever it is
I did the night before.
Copy !req
1696. Next was a steam so I could sweat out
Copy !req
1697. the drugs still in my system.
Copy !req
1698. Then I'd assess the damage.
Copy !req
1699. Drown out my eyeballs.
Copy !req
1700. Take my "back pills"
to get the day started,
Copy !req
1701. then seek to make up with Naomi.
Copy !req
1702. Good morning, Daddy.
Copy !req
1703. Where's my kiss?
Copy !req
1704. Hey, sweetheart.
Copy !req
1705. Does Daddy get a kiss from
both of his little girls, huh?
Copy !req
1706. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1707. No, Daddy doesn't even
get to touch Mommy
Copy !req
1708. for a very, very,
Copy !req
1709. very long time.
Copy !req
1710. Daddy's really sorry
about what he said in the other room.
Copy !req
1711. He didn't mean any of it.
Copy !req
1712. Daddy shouldn't waste his time.
Copy !req
1713. And from now on,
Copy !req
1714. it's gonna be nothing but short,
Copy !req
1715. short skirts around the house.
Copy !req
1716. And you know something else, Daddy?
Copy !req
1717. Mommy is just so sick
and tired of wearing panties.
Copy !req
1718. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1719. In fact,
Copy !req
1720. she's decided to throw them
Copy !req
1721. all away.
Copy !req
1722. So take a good look, Daddy.
Copy !req
1723. You're gonna be seeing
an awful lot of this around the house.
Copy !req
1724. On, baby...
Copy !req
1725. Yeah, Mommy.
Copy !req
1726. - Yeah...
- But no touching.
Copy !req
1727. Oh, gosh.
Copy !req
1728. What's wrong, Daddy?
Copy !req
1729. Baby.
Copy !req
1730. God!
Copy !req
1731. Look at this shit.
Copy !req
1732. Okay. Mommy likes to
play games with Daddy.
Copy !req
1733. Mommy, have you ever noticed
anything odd about Mr...
Copy !req
1734. Mr. Fuzzy Bear over there?
Copy !req
1735. His eyes seem
to be a little bit odd, don't they?
Copy !req
1736. Yeah, there's something
a little bit different about his eyes.
Copy !req
1737. Yes! I think it's true. Say "Hi," Mommy.
Copy !req
1738. Say "Hi" to Rocco and Rocco.
Copy !req
1739. Say "Hi." Hi, fellas.
Copy !req
1740. See that, huh?
Copy !req
1741. Of all the fucking days,
Copy !req
1742. she chooses today
to give me blue balls!
Copy !req
1743. I mean, today was
the biggest day in Stratton's history,
Copy !req
1744. and I needed to be thinking straight.
Copy !req
1745. Hey, Jordan!
Copy !req
1746. - Welcome.
- Steve here yet?
Copy !req
1747. This was the day that
we launched the Steve Madden IPO.
Copy !req
1748. Troops are all here,
everyone's all rallied, excited.
Copy !req
1749. Everything had to run tight.
Copy !req
1750. It had to be perfect.
Copy !req
1751. What the fuck is that kid doing?
Copy !req
1752. What's he doing?
Copy !req
1753. The biggest IPO in this firm's history.
Copy !req
1754. What the fuck is he doing?
Copy !req
1755. Is he... Is he wearing a bow tie?
Copy !req
1756. Hi.
Copy !req
1757. How're you doing?
Copy !req
1758. Good.
Copy !req
1759. You cleaning the fish bowl?
Copy !req
1760. I just... I had a minute and...
Copy !req
1761. You had a minute.
Copy !req
1762. And today you needed
to clean the fish bowl? Today?
Copy !req
1763. I had finished my paperwork
and I had a couple of minutes.
Copy !req
1764. Okay. Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
1765. On new issue day?
Copy !req
1766. On cocksucking,
motherfucking new issue day?
Copy !req
1767. This is what you do?
Copy !req
1768. Hey, everybody, listen up!
Copy !req
1769. This is what happens when you fuck
with your pets on new issue day!
Copy !req
1770. Take your little bow tie, get your shit,
Copy !req
1771. and get the fuck out of my office!
You understand?
Copy !req
1772. Get the fuck out!
Copy !req
1773. Everybody on point!
Copy !req
1774. We are here to make money.
Everybody on point.
Copy !req
1775. A real wolf pit,
which is exactly how I liked it.
Copy !req
1776. Jordan, look what I caught in the lobby.
I caught a genius.
Copy !req
1777. Enter Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1778. The great American cobbler.
Copy !req
1779. Red-hot ladies footwear impresario.
Copy !req
1780. And thanks to Donnie,
we were taking his company public.
Copy !req
1781. Stratton Oakmont was crawling out
of the primordial ooze.
Copy !req
1782. Pond scum no more.
Copy !req
1783. That's why they gotta see your face.
Copy !req
1784. You get them fired up so they push
the shit out of this stock. Okay?
Copy !req
1785. And not only that,
Donnie and I secretly owned
Copy !req
1786. 85% of Steve Madden Shoes,
Copy !req
1787. which legally speaking was a big no-no,
Copy !req
1788. but we'd get filthy fucking rich
if our troops got behind it.
Copy !req
1789. Our job was to get them worked up.
Copy !req
1790. But not too worked up.
Copy !req
1791. Hello. If...
Copy !req
1792. For those of you who don't know me...
Copy !req
1793. My name's Steve Madden.
Copy !req
1794. Yeah, we know who you are.
Copy !req
1795. Your name is on the box.
Copy !req
1796. Get the shoes. Show them the shoes.
Copy !req
1797. - Show them the shoes.
- Okay. Yeah.
Copy !req
1798. Anyway, you know,
this shoe is pretty cool.
Copy !req
1799. This is the Mary Lou, which is really
the shoe that put me on the map.
Copy !req
1800. Without it, I wouldn't be here.
Copy !req
1801. It's a fat girls' shoe!
Copy !req
1802. Believe it or not...
Believe it or not though,
Copy !req
1803. the Mary Lou is actually the same
as the Mary Jane, but it's black leather.
Copy !req
1804. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Copy !req
1805. Fight back! Come on!
Where you at? Where you at?
Copy !req
1806. All right!
Copy !req
1807. Let's give it up for Steve Madden
and his awesome Mary Lou!
Copy !req
1808. Hold that up. Hold that up.
Hold that up proud!
Copy !req
1809. Give him a round of applause!
Copy !req
1810. You guys got that
out of your systems, huh?
Copy !req
1811. You having a good afternoon or what?
Copy !req
1812. I wanna take a moment
and tell you why Steve here is so
Copy !req
1813. absolutely off the fucking wall.
Copy !req
1814. It's because this man
is a creative genius.
Copy !req
1815. This ability, this gift that Steve has,
Copy !req
1816. it goes beyond just
spotting the hottest shoe trends.
Copy !req
1817. Steve's power is that he creates trends.
Copy !req
1818. You understand?
Copy !req
1819. Artists like Steve
come along once every decade.
Copy !req
1820. I'm talking Giorgio Armani,
Gianni Versace, Coco Chanel,
Copy !req
1821. Yves Saint Laurent.
Copy !req
1822. Steve, come over here for a second.
Copy !req
1823. I don't think you all realize
Copy !req
1824. that Steve Madden
Copy !req
1825. is the hottest person
in the women's shoe industry,
Copy !req
1826. with orders going through the roof
Copy !req
1827. at every department store
in North America right now.
Copy !req
1828. We have him here in our office!
Copy !req
1829. We should thank
our fucking lucky stars this man is here!
Copy !req
1830. We should be on our hands
and knees right now,
Copy !req
1831. getting ready to suck this guy off!
Copy !req
1832. Like this! Okay?
Copy !req
1833. I wanna suck you off, Steve!
Copy !req
1834. Everyone's gonna suck you off!
Copy !req
1835. This is our golden ticket
Copy !req
1836. to the fucking chocolate
factory right here!
Copy !req
1837. And I wanna meet
Copy !req
1838. Willy fucking Wonka, okay?
Copy !req
1839. I wanna be with the fucking
Oompa Loompas like this!
Copy !req
1840. All right, get off this fucking stage!
Get out of here.
Copy !req
1841. All right, I want all of you
to focus for a second.
Copy !req
1842. See those little black boxes?
Copy !req
1843. They're called telephones.
Copy !req
1844. I'm gonna let you in on a little
secret about these telephones.
Copy !req
1845. They're not gonna dial
themselves. Okay?
Copy !req
1846. Without you, they're just
worthless hunks of plastic.
Copy !req
1847. Like a loaded M16 without
a trained Marine to pull the trigger.
Copy !req
1848. And in the case of the telephone,
Copy !req
1849. it's up to each and every one of you,
Copy !req
1850. my highly-trained Strattonites.
Copy !req
1851. My killers!
Copy !req
1852. My killers, who will not
take no for an answer!
Copy !req
1853. My fucking warriors,
Copy !req
1854. who will not hang up the phone
Copy !req
1855. until their client either buys
Copy !req
1856. or fucking dies!
Copy !req
1857. Let me tell you something.
Copy !req
1858. There is no nobility in poverty.
Copy !req
1859. I have been a rich man
and I have been a poor man.
Copy !req
1860. And I choose rich every fucking time.
Copy !req
1861. Because at least as a rich man,
when I have to face my problems,
Copy !req
1862. I show up in the back of a limo,
wearing a $2,000 suit
Copy !req
1863. and a $40,000 gold fucking watch!
Copy !req
1864. Duke it out! Hit him!
Copy !req
1865. Get the fuck off me!
Copy !req
1866. And if anyone here thinks
I'm superficial or materialistic,
Copy !req
1867. go get a job at fucking McDonald's,
Copy !req
1868. 'cause that's where you fucking belong!
Copy !req
1869. But before you depart
this room full of winners,
Copy !req
1870. I want you to take a good look
at the person next to you. Go on.
Copy !req
1871. Because sometime in
the not-so-distant future,
Copy !req
1872. you're gonna be pulling up to a red light
in your beat-up old fucking Pinto,
Copy !req
1873. and that person's gonna be
pulling up right alongside you
Copy !req
1874. in their brand new Porsche
Copy !req
1875. with their beautiful wife by their side,
Copy !req
1876. who's got big voluptuous tits.
Copy !req
1877. And who're you gonna be sitting next to?
Copy !req
1878. Some disgusting wildebeest
with three days of razor-stubble,
Copy !req
1879. in a sleeveless muumuu,
Copy !req
1880. crammed in next to you
in a carload full of groceries
Copy !req
1881. from the fucking Price Club!
Copy !req
1882. That's who you're gonna
be sitting next to!
Copy !req
1883. So you listen to me and you listen well.
Copy !req
1884. Are you behind on your credit card bills?
Copy !req
1885. Good! Pick up the phone
and start dialing!
Copy !req
1886. Is your landlord ready
to evict you? Good!
Copy !req
1887. Pick up the phone and start dialing!
Copy !req
1888. Does your girlfriend think
you're a fucking worthless loser?
Copy !req
1889. Good! Pick up the phone
and start dialing!
Copy !req
1890. I want you to deal with your problems
by becoming rich!
Copy !req
1891. All you have to do today
is pick up that phone
Copy !req
1892. and speak the words
that I have taught you.
Copy !req
1893. And I will make you richer
Copy !req
1894. than the most powerful CEO
in the United States of fucking America!
Copy !req
1895. Yeah!
Copy !req
1896. Fuck, yeah!
Copy !req
1897. I want you to go out there
Copy !req
1898. and I want you to ram
Copy !req
1899. Steve Madden stock
down your clients' throats
Copy !req
1900. until they fucking choke on it!
Copy !req
1901. Till they choke on it and they buy
100,000 shares! That's what I want.
Copy !req
1902. Yeah! Fuck, yeah.
Copy !req
1903. You be ferocious!
Copy !req
1904. - You be relentless!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
1905. You be telephone fucking terrorists!
Copy !req
1906. Now let's knock this motherfucker
out of the park!
Copy !req
1907. At 1:00 p.m., we opened
the stock for sale at $4.50 a share.
Copy !req
1908. By 1:03, it was over $18.
Copy !req
1909. Even the big Wall Street
firms were buying.
Copy !req
1910. Of the two million shares
offered for sale,
Copy !req
1911. a million belonged to me,
held in phony accounts by my ratholes.
Copy !req
1912. Now once the price hit the high teens...
Copy !req
1913. You know what? Who gives a shit?
Copy !req
1914. As always, the point is this.
Copy !req
1915. $22 million in three fucking hours!
Copy !req
1916. Can you believe this shit?
Copy !req
1917. - I fucking love this, baby!
- It's amazing!
Copy !req
1918. Jordan!
Copy !req
1919. Barry Kleinman's on the phone
Copy !req
1920. - from Future Video.
- Who?
Copy !req
1921. I don't know. He shot at your wedding.
Copy !req
1922. He says it's urgent.
Copy !req
1923. Urgent? Who the fuck
is Barry Kleinman?
Copy !req
1924. Oh, my God, you wanna marry me?
Copy !req
1925. You're in love with me?
Copy !req
1926. Yeah. Go fuck your cousin!
Copy !req
1927. Hey, Barry, what's up?
Copy !req
1928. Listen, I got this subpoena.
Copy !req
1929. Subpoena? What the fuck
are you talking about?
Copy !req
1930. Yeah, the FBI, they want
a copy of your wedding video.
Copy !req
1931. The fucking FBI?
Copy !req
1932. - You fucking kidding me?
- Listen to me.
Copy !req
1933. His name is Denham.
Copy !req
1934. He's an agent with the New York office.
Copy !req
1935. What's his problem?
Copy !req
1936. He's a Boy Scout.
He thinks you're fucking Gordon Gekko.
Copy !req
1937. What does he want
with my wedding video?
Copy !req
1938. It's like an invasion of my privacy.
Copy !req
1939. You know what I'm saying? It's like...
Copy !req
1940. It's intrusive, you know.
Copy !req
1941. He's got pictures of your
whole inner fucking circle.
Copy !req
1942. Pictures, names of the people.
Copy !req
1943. You know what he's trying to do?
Copy !req
1944. Exactly what he's doing.
Look at yourself.
Copy !req
1945. He's trying to rattle you,
Copy !req
1946. he's trying to rattle your old lady,
Copy !req
1947. so she nags you until
you become a fucking witness.
Copy !req
1948. He wants me to rat on myself?
Copy !req
1949. He wants me to
give information about my...
Copy !req
1950. Listen. The good fucking news is,
Copy !req
1951. you know I know everybody downtown,
Copy !req
1952. I call up the Justice Department,
the DEA,
Copy !req
1953. nobody even knows you fucking exist,
so calm down!
Copy !req
1954. They don't know I exist?
Copy !req
1955. - No.
- That's good.
Copy !req
1956. But you...
Copy !req
1957. You know who he is, right?
Copy !req
1958. - Yeah.
- So, if I just wanted to get
Copy !req
1959. some more information,
just find out what he knows,
Copy !req
1960. you could go to his house, right?
Copy !req
1961. Tap his phones a little bit, bug him.
Copy !req
1962. You could get some information...
Copy !req
1963. You don't fuck with these guys like that.
Copy !req
1964. You don't fuck with them like that.
Copy !req
1965. What are you, nuts or something?
Copy !req
1966. This is what you fucking do.
What do I pay you for?
Copy !req
1967. I have a fucking P.I. License, you know?
I make a living at this.
Copy !req
1968. I'm not a cop anymore.
Copy !req
1969. They'll take my fucking license
away from me, all right?
Copy !req
1970. Okay.
Copy !req
1971. Okay, if I can't do that, can I just...
Copy !req
1972. Can I give the guy a call?
Copy !req
1973. - Why? Is that...
- Jordan. Jordan.
Copy !req
1974. Do me a favor?
Copy !req
1975. The only one who calls this guy
is your fucking lawyer.
Copy !req
1976. I can't call him, right?
Copy !req
1977. - It's against the rules?
- I told you,
Copy !req
1978. whatever the fuck you say to him,
Copy !req
1979. he's gonna use against you.
Don't you understand?
Copy !req
1980. He's smart, you're dumb.
Copy !req
1981. Fucking bullshit.
Copy !req
1982. Are we fucking talking tonight,
or are you gonna get schwacked?
Copy !req
1983. The last time you
took these fucking pills,
Copy !req
1984. you put your head in the
fucking macaroni. I had to pick it up.
Copy !req
1985. All right.
Copy !req
1986. Okay, I won't call him.
Copy !req
1987. Hey, fellas! Come on board.
The plank's right around there.
Copy !req
1988. Welcome!
Copy !req
1989. What a nice day.
Copy !req
1990. Hey.
Copy !req
1991. Welcome aboard.
Copy !req
1992. Jordan. Welcome aboard the Naomi.
Pleasure to meet you.
Copy !req
1993. Agent Denham. This is Agent Hughes.
Copy !req
1994. Hi, how are you?
Copy !req
1995. Let me introduce you. This is Nicole,
Heidi. Come on. Don't be shy.
Copy !req
1996. What are you guys all shy for?
Don't be scared.
Copy !req
1997. These are friends of Stratton.
Copy !req
1998. - It's a pleasure.
- Hello.
Copy !req
1999. Your message said that
you wanted to speak privately.
Copy !req
2000. Right. I do want to speak privately.
Copy !req
2001. Give us a minute, huh, ladies?
Copy !req
2002. Let me know if I can get you anything.
Copy !req
2003. We'd be happy to help.
Copy !req
2004. You guys hungry?
Copy !req
2005. Want something to eat?
Got some pasta, shrimp, lobster.
Copy !req
2006. I got whiskey.
Any kind of booze you want.
Copy !req
2007. You know what?
The Bureau doesn't allow us
Copy !req
2008. to drink while we're at sea.
Copy !req
2009. Duh! Of course.
Copy !req
2010. Ever been on one of these before?
Copy !req
2011. A boat?
Copy !req
2012. I learned how to sail when I was six.
Copy !req
2013. No shit. Is that right? Really?
Copy !req
2014. On one like this, though?
Copy !req
2015. I had the whole front extended in order
to fit the chopper up there.
Copy !req
2016. See that?
Copy !req
2017. Anyway, this is for you.
Copy !req
2018. It's a complete list of every person
that was at my wedding.
Copy !req
2019. I understand you wanted
the whole wedding video.
Copy !req
2020. Figured this would help expedite
the whole process, right?
Copy !req
2021. - There you go.
- Look,
Copy !req
2022. my point is that
I know you're investigating Stratton.
Copy !req
2023. But for the life of me,
I can't figure out why.
Copy !req
2024. I know we're a little unorthodox,
Copy !req
2025. we're a little loud in
the way we do things.
Copy !req
2026. But you gotta understand,
Copy !req
2027. we're the new guys
on the block, you know,
Copy !req
2028. we're trying to make
a name for ourselves.
Copy !req
2029. But I want you to understand,
we don't do anything illegal.
Copy !req
2030. Whatsoever.
Copy !req
2031. I mean, you could talk to the SEC.
Copy !req
2032. They were at my office 15 times
over the last six months.
Copy !req
2033. I mean, I got... I got nothing to hide.
Copy !req
2034. Well, you know the SEC
is a civil regulatory agency.
Copy !req
2035. We pursue criminal activities.
Copy !req
2036. Exactly! You go after real criminals,
Copy !req
2037. which makes me wonder what
the hell you're investigating me for?
Copy !req
2038. I mean, honestly...
Copy !req
2039. What is it that you think
that we did or do? I don't get it.
Copy !req
2040. Well, I...
Copy !req
2041. Look, Jordan, I can't discuss
an ongoing investigation.
Copy !req
2042. No, I get that. No, I understand.
Copy !req
2043. With that said...
Copy !req
2044. This case got dumped on my desk...
Copy !req
2045. - Did it?
- You know, by a higher-up
Copy !req
2046. who needs to make a show of looking
into the new company on the block,
Copy !req
2047. - with all the press and everything.
- New loud guys.
Copy !req
2048. And then I end up being the schmuck
who does the looking. Exactly.
Copy !req
2049. It's just, you know... It bothers me.
Copy !req
2050. We're the new guy. We're the one
that's banging on Wall Street's door.
Copy !req
2051. I mean, you should...
Copy !req
2052. You should see what's going on
at the bigger firms.
Copy !req
2053. I mean, I know all the information.
Copy !req
2054. It's true! Goldman,
Lehman Brothers, Merrill...
Copy !req
2055. Collateralized debt obligations?
Copy !req
2056. This Internet stock bullshit?
Copy !req
2057. I mean, it's a fucking travesty.
Copy !req
2058. I could take you step-by-step
through what exactly is occurring.
Copy !req
2059. All you have to do is ask.
Copy !req
2060. I'm available.
Copy !req
2061. That's exactly what I wanted to hear.
Copy !req
2062. I don't see why a little sitdown like this
Copy !req
2063. can't be profitable for the both of us.
Copy !req
2064. It should. Right?
It should profit the both of us.
Copy !req
2065. - It should.
- Look.
Copy !req
2066. I'm gonna give you my personal line.
Copy !req
2067. Five days a week,
you just call me, feel free.
Copy !req
2068. - I'll do that.
- Great.
Copy !req
2069. Are you sure you guys
don't want something to drink?
Copy !req
2070. You're not hungry? Nothing?
Copy !req
2071. - Nothing? No?
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
2072. Let me ask you,
and if you don't wanna get too personal,
Copy !req
2073. just tell me to shut up at any time.
Copy !req
2074. Did you try to get your
broker's license at one time?
Copy !req
2075. Did I hear that right? Were you trying
to take a stab at Wall Street?
Copy !req
2076. - No?
- Who you been talking to?
Copy !req
2077. Who the fuck you been talking to?
Copy !req
2078. Well, you're investigating me.
I hear things.
Copy !req
2079. You know what I mean?
Copy !req
2080. You ever think about
what would've happened
Copy !req
2081. if you would have stayed the course?
Copy !req
2082. You know what?
When I'm riding home on the subway
Copy !req
2083. and my balls are fucking sweating,
Copy !req
2084. I'm wearing the same suit
three days in a row...
Copy !req
2085. Yeah, you bet I do.
Copy !req
2086. I've thought about it before.
Who wouldn't, right?
Copy !req
2087. Right, who fucking wouldn't?
Copy !req
2088. What do you get...
Copy !req
2089. Another personal question,
no need to answer...
Copy !req
2090. No, that's all right, Jordan.
Copy !req
2091. What do you pull in? 50, 60K?
Something like that?
Copy !req
2092. A year? In the ballpark?
Copy !req
2093. Well, I...
Copy !req
2094. Let's put it this way.
Copy !req
2095. You get a free handgun
when you sign up for the Bureau.
Copy !req
2096. No, but it fucking pisses me off.
You know what I mean?
Copy !req
2097. You think about the people
that built this country,
Copy !req
2098. hardworking people like you.
Copy !req
2099. Firefighters, teachers, FBI agents.
Copy !req
2100. End of the day, you guys get
fucking skinned alive financially.
Copy !req
2101. It fucking makes me angry.
Copy !req
2102. Now the one thing about
Wall Street and this market is,
Copy !req
2103. for me, I feel
Copy !req
2104. it's good to give back.
You know, there's...
Copy !req
2105. There are situations where I can
Copy !req
2106. make those situations better for people.
You know?
Copy !req
2107. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
2108. Opportunity
Copy !req
2109. is everything.
Copy !req
2110. Exactly.
Copy !req
2111. Take for example,
I got this one kid, right?
Copy !req
2112. Went to school for environmental
science, something like that.
Copy !req
2113. He was bogged down by student loans.
Copy !req
2114. Turns out, his mother
needed triple bypass surgery.
Copy !req
2115. - Jesus.
- Right. Horrible situation.
Copy !req
2116. Sure.
Copy !req
2117. But we got him into the market
Copy !req
2118. at the right time
and chose the right stock.
Copy !req
2119. We gave him the right guidance.
Copy !req
2120. Boom! Overnight,
changed his entire life.
Copy !req
2121. Got to put his mother into
the best hospital in New York City.
Copy !req
2122. It didn't work out for her, granted,
she passed away, unfortunately.
Copy !req
2123. But we gave him that opportunity.
Copy !req
2124. You know what I'm saying?
Copy !req
2125. It's just about setting up the right team,
and then overnight your life can change.
Copy !req
2126. What does... What does an intern...
Copy !req
2127. What does an intern
make in a deal like that?
Copy !req
2128. Well, in that situation,
Copy !req
2129. in that particular trade,
and it was one trade,
Copy !req
2130. north of half a million dollars.
Copy !req
2131. And I'd do that for anybody, you know,
Copy !req
2132. anybody that needs
the proper guidance.
Copy !req
2133. Can you say that again,
just the way you said it?
Copy !req
2134. Just the same way.
Copy !req
2135. I don't know what you're talking about.
Copy !req
2136. Oh, come on! You know
what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
2137. I think what Jordan just did is he...
Copy !req
2138. - If I'm not mistaken...
- No.
Copy !req
2139. you just tried to bribe a federal officer.
Copy !req
2140. No, technically I didn't bribe anybody.
Copy !req
2141. No, no, that's not
the conversation I heard, Jordan.
Copy !req
2142. No, no, according
to the U.S. criminal code,
Copy !req
2143. there needs to be an exact dollar figure
for the exchange of services.
Copy !req
2144. That would not hold up in a court of law.
Copy !req
2145. Nah, it's not how I heard it.
Copy !req
2146. No, no, no, that's the truth.
But I want to tell you this.
Copy !req
2147. Yeah.
Copy !req
2148. The same gentleman that told me
Copy !req
2149. that you tried to get
your broker's license
Copy !req
2150. also told me that
you are a straight arrow.
Copy !req
2151. He ran a security check on me.
Copy !req
2152. Well...
Copy !req
2153. Yeah, when you sail
on a boat fit for a Bond villain,
Copy !req
2154. sometimes you need to
play the part. Right?
Copy !req
2155. I think it's time you both
get the fuck off my boat.
Copy !req
2156. What do you say?
Copy !req
2157. You know, Jordan,
I'll tell you something.
Copy !req
2158. Most of the Wall Street
jackasses that I bust,
Copy !req
2159. they're to the manor born.
Copy !req
2160. - Is that right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
2161. Their fathers are douchebags,
just like their fathers before them.
Copy !req
2162. But you...
Copy !req
2163. You, Jordan,
you got this way all on your own.
Copy !req
2164. Did I?
Copy !req
2165. - Good for you, little man.
- Little man?
Copy !req
2166. Good for you.
Copy !req
2167. Me, the little man?
Copy !req
2168. And let me tell you something.
Copy !req
2169. Let me tell you something else.
Copy !req
2170. Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here,
Copy !req
2171. this is one of the nicest boats
Copy !req
2172. - that I've ever been on, I gotta tell you.
- I bet it is.
Copy !req
2173. And you know
what I was just thinking, too?
Copy !req
2174. The fucking hero that I'm gonna be
back at the office
Copy !req
2175. when the Bureau seizes
this fucking boat.
Copy !req
2176. Because, I mean,
fuckety-fuck-fuck, Jordan,
Copy !req
2177. look at this thing!
Copy !req
2178. It's beautiful!
Copy !req
2179. And you got the beautiful girls there.
It's wonderful.
Copy !req
2180. All right, get the fuck off my boat.
Copy !req
2181. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other
Copy !req
2182. - real soon.
- I'm sure.
Copy !req
2183. Good luck on that subway ride home
to your miserable, ugly fucking wives.
Copy !req
2184. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar
off my balls in the meantime.
Copy !req
2185. Hey, you guys want to take
some lobsters for your ride home?
Copy !req
2186. Fucking miserable pricks,
I know you can't afford them!
Copy !req
2187. Fucking cheap fucks.
Copy !req
2188. Fucking miserable pricks.
Copy !req
2189. Hey, fellas! Look what
I found in my pocket! Look!
Copy !req
2190. A year's salary right here.
Copy !req
2191. You know what I call them?
Fun coupons!
Copy !req
2192. See that!
Copy !req
2193. They're fun coupons!
Copy !req
2194. Switzerland?
What the fuck is in Switzerland?
Copy !req
2195. Swiss fucking banks, that's what.
Copy !req
2196. It was ass-covering time.
I had to hide my money.
Copy !req
2197. Enter Rugrat.
Copy !req
2198. He knew this Swiss banker
from law school.
Copy !req
2199. That's for European pussy!
Copy !req
2200. But he was in Geneva.
Copy !req
2201. And there was no way
I was gonna make that flight sober.
Copy !req
2202. So I knew if I took my drugs right,
Copy !req
2203. I could sleep through the entire flight.
Copy !req
2204. But I had to take them just right.
Copy !req
2205. At 4:00 p.m., I popped a few more ludes,
Copy !req
2206. which started kicking in by the time
Copy !req
2207. I finished my sales meeting.
Copy !req
2208. My tingle phase.
Copy !req
2209. By dinner, I popped a few more
Copy !req
2210. on top of some cocktails
and a Valium or two.
Copy !req
2211. My slur phase.
Copy !req
2212. By 8:30, I took a few more ludes
Copy !req
2213. and pretty much lost all my motor skills.
Copy !req
2214. This was the drool phase.
Copy !req
2215. And by 10:00, I didn't know
who or what the fuck I was.
Copy !req
2216. The amnesia phase.
Copy !req
2217. We boarded the plane
just before midnight.
Copy !req
2218. Wow! Look at you!
Copy !req
2219. - You're beautiful.
- Excuse me, sir.
Copy !req
2220. His sleeping pills just kicked in.
He's all right.
Copy !req
2221. May I see your boarding passes, sir?
Copy !req
2222. We have the boarding passes.
Copy !req
2223. Jesus Christ, I wanna fuck her.
Copy !req
2224. Hey! Fucking relax.
Copy !req
2225. Oh, my God!
You got your hand on my fucking cock!
Copy !req
2226. I don't. Cut it out.
Copy !req
2227. He's got his hand on my dick again.
Copy !req
2228. I'm just trying to buckle you up.
Copy !req
2229. You got your hand on his dick?
Copy !req
2230. You gotta stop doing that
in public places.
Copy !req
2231. Oh, my God. Take it off!
Copy !req
2232. Take it off!
Copy !req
2233. I heard there's
a treasure map under here.
Copy !req
2234. - Stop! I know, miss.
- Excuse me, sir.
Copy !req
2235. Please sit down.
Copy !req
2236. - Watch it.
- Go back to your seat, please.
Copy !req
2237. - What are you upset about?
- Please go back to your seat.
Copy !req
2238. I will have to call the captain.
Copy !req
2239. Please, sir, please, sir. Sit down.
Copy !req
2240. Please sit down!
Copy !req
2241. - I'm going! Stop.
- Okay, sorry.
Copy !req
2242. We apologize. We're gonna go to sleep.
Copy !req
2243. Question. I wanna ask you a question.
Copy !req
2244. Fasten your seat belt, sir.
Copy !req
2245. We cannot take off
if you haven't fastened
Copy !req
2246. - your seat belt.
- I'm really horny, too.
Copy !req
2247. Sit down. Fasten it.
Copy !req
2248. - Right. Okay, I'll sit down...
- I will do it for you.
Copy !req
2249. - What?
- I'll do it for you.
Copy !req
2250. You gotta speak English.
Copy !req
2251. We don't understand
this language you're speaking.
Copy !req
2252. I Will help him With his seat belt.
Copy !req
2253. - You gotta put it on right.
- Sit back. Sit back, sir.
Copy !req
2254. - There you go.
- All right. I'll just lean back...
Copy !req
2255. Bitte, Hilfe!
Copy !req
2256. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
2257. Fuck!
Copy !req
2258. Donnie...
Copy !req
2259. Donnie, this isn't funny.
You gotta untie me, buddy.
Copy !req
2260. I can't untie you.
Copy !req
2261. The captain tied you up.
He almost fucking tasered you.
Copy !req
2262. Why?
Copy !req
2263. Why?
Copy !req
2264. He's got a fear of flying.
Copy !req
2265. He's very nervous on planes, I'm sorry,
Copy !req
2266. it's not you, sweetheart,
don't beat yourself up.
Copy !req
2267. Easy, easy. He's fine.
He's just a nervous flyer.
Copy !req
2268. You were screaming at people.
Copy !req
2269. Oh, fuck off.
Copy !req
2270. You were on the floor
rolling around and shit.
Copy !req
2271. Oh, Jesus.
Copy !req
2272. You called the captain the N-word.
Copy !req
2273. I called the captain the N-word?
Copy !req
2274. - Yeah, he was very upset.
- Really?
Copy !req
2275. - Luckily we're in first class.
- Jesus.
Copy !req
2276. Jesus Christ, I think
you have a fucking drug problem.
Copy !req
2277. Where are the ludes?
Copy !req
2278. Where are the ludes?
Copy !req
2279. They're up my ass. Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
2280. - I got it.
- Okay.
Copy !req
2281. Thank God.
Copy !req
2282. Jesus Christ, what are we gonna do
when we get to Switzerland, buddy?
Copy !req
2283. This is bad.
Copy !req
2284. Fucking things are against
my chest. I can't breathe.
Copy !req
2285. Come on, do something
to calm me down. Please.
Copy !req
2286. Okay, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Copy !req
2287. Okay.
Copy !req
2288. - That's good.
- Go to sleep.
Copy !req
2289. Rub it harder, buddy.
Copy !req
2290. You're all right.
Copy !req
2291. We all love you. Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
2292. Mr. Belfort, you're free to go.
Copy !req
2293. Really?
Copy !req
2294. - Hey, Donnie.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
2295. When we get out there,
try not to act like yourself.
Copy !req
2296. Okay? Let's make Geneva
an asshole-free Donnie zone, all right?
Copy !req
2297. What are you fucking coming at me for?
Copy !req
2298. Hey, listen. The only reason
you're sitting in this limo
Copy !req
2299. and not in a Swiss jail
is because of my friend. Okay?
Copy !req
2300. Hilfe!
Copy !req
2301. We're here. We're here.
Everyone calm down.
Copy !req
2302. Jordan Belfort!
Copy !req
2303. At last.
Copy !req
2304. Nicholas has told me
so much about you.
Copy !req
2305. Jordan, Jean Jacques Saurel.
Copy !req
2306. - Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
- Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
2307. It's a joke.
Copy !req
2308. You'll understand
when you're in the fucking seat.
Copy !req
2309. You need a bigger couch. For guests.
Copy !req
2310. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I don't understand. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
2311. I'm curious about
your bank secrecy laws here.
Copy !req
2312. Wait. Yes. Excusez-moi, Jordan.
Copy !req
2313. Swiss custom requires 10 minutes of...
Copy !req
2314. Blah, blah, blah.
Copy !req
2315. - Chit chat.
- Yeah, chit chat, thank you.
Copy !req
2316. before business can be discussed.
Copy !req
2317. Yeah.
Copy !req
2318. Of course.
Copy !req
2319. Let's get down to it.
What would you like to know?
Copy !req
2320. Under what circumstances
would you be obligated
Copy !req
2321. to cooperate with an FBI
Copy !req
2322. or a U.S. Justice Department
investigation, for example?
Copy !req
2323. Ça depend.
Copy !req
2324. Ca depend?
Copy !req
2325. Oui.
Copy !req
2326. Ça depend on what, exactly?
Copy !req
2327. Whether America plans
to invade Switzerland
Copy !req
2328. in the coming months.
Copy !req
2329. Shall I check if tanks
are rolling down the Rue de la Croy?
Copy !req
2330. - Yes. Rue de la Croix.
- Croix. Croix.
Copy !req
2331. Not Croy. Not Rue de la Croy. It's Croix.
Copy !req
2332. See, this is what he used to do
back in law school. Check me.
Copy !req
2333. - Champagne. Champagne.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
2334. Yeah, yeah.
French fries, pommes frites.
Copy !req
2335. - And that kind of stuff.
- That's funny.
Copy !req
2336. What I'm asking, you Swiss dick,
is are you going to fuck me over?
Copy !req
2337. I understand perfectly,
you American shit.
Copy !req
2338. The only way
the Banque Réal de Genéve
Copy !req
2339. would cooperate
with a foreign legal body
Copy !req
2340. is if the crime being pursued
is also a crime in Switzerland.
Copy !req
2341. But there are very few Swiss laws
which apply to your practices.
Copy !req
2342. From a financial standpoint,
Copy !req
2343. you are now in heaven.
Copy !req
2344. See, I told you he was fantastic, right?
Copy !req
2345. If the U.S. Justice Department
sent us a subpoena, it would become
Copy !req
2346. papier toilette.
Copy !req
2347. We would wipe our ass with it.
Copy !req
2348. Unless, of course,
it was an investigation
Copy !req
2349. into stock fraud,
Copy !req
2350. which is a crime here in Switzerland,
if I'm correct.
Copy !req
2351. Then there would
have to be cooperation on your part,
Copy !req
2352. - if I'm not mistaken.
- Yes.
Copy !req
2353. Yes, we would.
Copy !req
2354. Assuming the account
is under your name.
Copy !req
2355. If it were another name,
Copy !req
2356. a friend's, camarade...
Copy !req
2357. Cousin?
Copy !req
2358. - Relative?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
2359. Was that yodeling I just heard
Copy !req
2360. or did you just say
what I thought you said?
Copy !req
2361. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
2362. He's telling me to use a fucking rathole.
Copy !req
2363. But a U.S. rathole would never get
Copy !req
2364. into Switzerland with all that money.
Copy !req
2365. What I needed was a rathole
with a European passport.
Copy !req
2366. Jordan.
Copy !req
2367. Hey. How's my favorite aunt, huh?
Copy !req
2368. Welcome. Was the traffic terrible?
Copy !req
2369. Oh, no, not at all.
Copy !req
2370. Jordan, come in.
Copy !req
2371. Thank God Aunt Emma
didn't need too much convincing.
Copy !req
2372. Turned out the British
weren't too different from the Swiss.
Copy !req
2373. Money talks and bullshit takes the bus.
Copy !req
2374. How do you say "rathole" in British?
Copy !req
2375. If you get into any trouble whatsoever,
Copy !req
2376. I'll come forth immediately.
I'll say that I duped you.
Copy !req
2377. That I promise.
Copy !req
2378. Risk is what keeps us young,
isn't it, darling?
Copy !req
2379. Sometimes I wonder
Copy !req
2380. if you let money get
the best of you, my love.
Copy !req
2381. Among other substances.
Copy !req
2382. It's that obvious, huh?
Copy !req
2383. It's chilly, darling,
and you're sweating bullets.
Copy !req
2384. What can I say? I'm...
Copy !req
2385. I'm a drug addict.
Copy !req
2386. I really am.
Copy !req
2387. Cocaine, pills,
Copy !req
2388. whatever it is, I'll fucking do it.
Copy !req
2389. Now that's the truth.
Copy !req
2390. I mean...
Copy !req
2391. I'm a sex addict, too.
Copy !req
2392. Well, there are worse things
to be addicted to than sex.
Copy !req
2393. Jesus, why am I telling you all this?
Why am I...
Copy !req
2394. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
2395. Because I'm very easy to talk to.
Copy !req
2396. You are. You are easy to talk to.
Copy !req
2397. I suppose it's...
Copy !req
2398. Just my job, you know.
Copy !req
2399. All these people dependent on me.
Copy !req
2400. Tens of millions of dollars
at stake, you know.
Copy !req
2401. Sometimes I feel like I...
Copy !req
2402. I've bitten off more than
I can chew, you know.
Copy !req
2403. You're a man with large appetites.
Copy !req
2404. Yeah.
Copy !req
2405. Is she fucking hitting on me?
Copy !req
2406. Yeah.
Copy !req
2407. Yeah, I am.
Copy !req
2408. I suppose I put that
on myself though, right?
Copy !req
2409. My decision.
Copy !req
2410. It's just hard to...
Copy !req
2411. Hard to learn to control
the anxiety sometimes, you know?
Copy !req
2412. You know, to...
Copy !req
2413. Learn to relax and let go and...
Copy !req
2414. To release the tension.
Copy !req
2415. She is hitting on me.
Copy !req
2416. Holy shit!
Copy !req
2417. Yeah, to release the tension.
Copy !req
2418. I suppose we...
Copy !req
2419. We all just need to learn...
Copy !req
2420. Learn to do what
comes naturally in life, you know?
Copy !req
2421. Is he fucking hitting on me?
Copy !req
2422. Stability, dear.
Copy !req
2423. Family.
Copy !req
2424. You take care of my niece, my love.
Copy !req
2425. I'll take care of everything over here.
Copy !req
2426. Deal.
Copy !req
2427. Come on! There you go.
Copy !req
2428. We had, literally, a fuckload of money.
Copy !req
2429. Aunt Emma could never
carry all this by herself.
Copy !req
2430. So I thought to myself,
who else has a European passport?
Copy !req
2431. Brad, you're making this
too fucking tight!
Copy !req
2432. Now Brad, as a successful drug dealer,
Copy !req
2433. spent his winters in the south of France,
Copy !req
2434. which is where
he met his wife, Chantalle,
Copy !req
2435. a stripper of Slovenian origin
Copy !req
2436. born, in of all places,
Copy !req
2437. Switzerland.
Copy !req
2438. Well, this is fucked.
Copy !req
2439. No shit.
Copy !req
2440. Like, this will take her like 50 trips.
Copy !req
2441. I know.
Copy !req
2442. Let me ask you something?
Copy !req
2443. What about her family? Right?
Copy !req
2444. I mean, they all got
Swiss passports, right.
Copy !req
2445. She's got parents,
she's got a brother, right?
Copy !req
2446. The brother's got a wife.
That's five fucking people.
Copy !req
2447. Six, seven trips, boom, right?
Copy !req
2448. They're all fucking
Swiss nitwits like her.
Copy !req
2449. - They'll do it.
- We could do that.
Copy !req
2450. At least I have a family,
you crooked-nose fuck!
Copy !req
2451. Hey, don't forget about my money.
Copy !req
2452. I'm sorry, what's that?
Copy !req
2453. Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
He's got some...
Copy !req
2454. - He's got some money.
- My money.
Copy !req
2455. I got a couple of mil
coming in like a week.
Copy !req
2456. When it gets in, I'll give you a call,
you come pick it up.
Copy !req
2457. You give me a call?
Copy !req
2458. When it gets here, I'll give you a call
and you'll come pick it up.
Copy !req
2459. Well, we don't fucking
work for you, man!
Copy !req
2460. Sweetheart,
you have my money taped to your tits.
Copy !req
2461. Okay? Technically, you do work for me.
Copy !req
2462. Hey, Jordan, we're gonna need to talk.
Copy !req
2463. If I fucking do this,
I'm telling you right now,
Copy !req
2464. I ain't going to him, okay.
Copy !req
2465. - I'm not a fucking shvartze.
- I got it.
Copy !req
2466. I don't do fucking pickups, all right?
Copy !req
2467. - I got it.
- Well, listen to me.
Copy !req
2468. We meet someplace that I fucking say.
Copy !req
2469. And you tell that fucking piece of shit,
Copy !req
2470. - he comes correct.
- I will.
Copy !req
2471. He comes in all fucking loopy
and fucked up, I swear to God
Copy !req
2472. I'll mash that douchebags teeth in.
Copy !req
2473. You're gonna mash
whose fucking teeth in?
Copy !req
2474. Whose fucking teeth
are you gonna mash in?
Copy !req
2475. I put the money on that
fucking table! Not you!
Copy !req
2476. I'm the reason
we have this whole fucking deal!
Copy !req
2477. - He's got a gun, you fucking idiot!
- Fuck his gun!
Copy !req
2478. I put that money in there!
Copy !req
2479. You know what?
You're a fucking pill dealer.
Copy !req
2480. I got five more just like you, bro.
Copy !req
2481. Keep talking, you fucking piece of shit!
Copy !req
2482. You know what else?
You dress like shit!
Copy !req
2483. So fuck you!
Copy !req
2484. - Fucking motherfucker!
- Oh! Jesus!
Copy !req
2485. How about that, faggot?
Who's a faggot?
Copy !req
2486. You okay? Hey, 93'-
Copy !req
2487. The next day,
Aunt Emma flew to Geneva.
Copy !req
2488. Two million in cash in her carry-on,
Copy !req
2489. which in the big picture
was a drop in the Swiss bucket.
Copy !req
2490. 'Cause the following month,
Copy !req
2491. over the course of six round trips,
Copy !req
2492. Chantalle's family and friends
smuggled in over 20 million in cash
Copy !req
2493. without even a hiccup.
Copy !req
2494. - And I have some more.
- Really?
Copy !req
2495. - Here.
- Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
2496. And here.
Copy !req
2497. - Welcome.
- Welcome.
Copy !req
2498. Yeah, like four bags of it.
Copy !req
2499. Are you Swiss-Slovakian
or Swiss-Slovenian?
Copy !req
2500. - Slovenian.
- Slovenian?
Copy !req
2501. Who cares. You're blonde.
Copy !req
2502. Oh, stop.
Copy !req
2503. Shit.
Copy !req
2504. Just put the fucking car in park,
Copy !req
2505. you dumb fucking idiot!
Copy !req
2506. I can't close this briefcase.
Copy !req
2507. One fucking day.
Copy !req
2508. One fucking day,
you couldn't keep it together?
Copy !req
2509. I'm fucked up, Brad.
Copy !req
2510. - Gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Fucked up.
Copy !req
2511. - It's a joke.
- It's a joke?
Copy !req
2512. - I'm sober.
- Jesus fucking Christ!
Copy !req
2513. It's a fucking joke.
Copy !req
2514. - Are you fucking stupid?
- I'm not stupid.
Copy !req
2515. You fucking drive in here
like a fucking maniac,
Copy !req
2516. you know the attention that
that fucking draws?
Copy !req
2517. - I'm not stupid. I'm smart.
- Smart?
Copy !req
2518. - I make million-dollar deals.
- That right?
Copy !req
2519. With smart important people,
unlike you.
Copy !req
2520. People who don't sucker-punch people
when they're scared. Okay?
Copy !req
2521. - I'm scared, huh?
- And by the way,
Copy !req
2522. I haven't gotten an apology yet for that.
Copy !req
2523. You want an apology, okay.
Copy !req
2524. I check my fucking messages every day
Copy !req
2525. - when I come home from work.
- Did you?
Copy !req
2526. - My answering machine. Zero.
- Didn't get one, huh?
Copy !req
2527. I got a blinking light,
Copy !req
2528. because I don't have shit from you.
Copy !req
2529. You know what, you got
a big fucking mouth, okay?
Copy !req
2530. I got my wife checking the messages
Copy !req
2531. every 45 minutes
calling the office, saying,
Copy !req
2532. "Has Brad apologized yet?
Copy !req
2533. "Is there an apology message
on the machine?"
Copy !req
2534. I don't have jack shit. You know what?
Copy !req
2535. That's not how you treat people.
Copy !req
2536. You got a big fucking mouth, you know.
Copy !req
2537. I'm gonna give you a fucking pass.
Just give me the case.
Copy !req
2538. You're gonna give me a pass?
Copy !req
2539. Look, it's a figure of fucking speech.
Copy !req
2540. Oh, my gosh. The Emperor of Fucksville
Copy !req
2541. came down from Fucksville
to give me a pass!
Copy !req
2542. From Fucksville, huh?
Copy !req
2543. Hey, what are the citizens
of Fucksville doing today
Copy !req
2544. when their Emperor's gone?
Copy !req
2545. Is it mayhem?
Copy !req
2546. Are people looting and raping?
Copy !req
2547. What are all the little fuckheads
doing while you're here?
Copy !req
2548. Go fuck yourself! Give me the bag.
Copy !req
2549. You back the fuck up.
Copy !req
2550. I'll cause the biggest fucking scene
that I've ever caused in my life
Copy !req
2551. if you come at me again.
Copy !req
2552. - You know what?
- Just fucking keep it down.
Copy !req
2553. I got...
Copy !req
2554. I don't wanna be out of line or anything,
but I think you like, like me. Like you...
Copy !req
2555. Like when you come at me...
Copy !req
2556. What's the matter with you?
What the fuck is...
Copy !req
2557. and you look at me.
I swear I just noticed it.
Copy !req
2558. You have like a fucking, like...
Copy !req
2559. Like a twinkle. You have like a twinkle.
Copy !req
2560. Are you trying to kiss me, bro?
Copy !req
2561. Jesus fucking Christ.
Copy !req
2562. - What's with you?
- I have a... I don't know.
Copy !req
2563. - It's not a homophobic thing.
- All right...
Copy !req
2564. You're just not the one for me, pal.
Copy !req
2565. You know what I mean? It's not...
Copy !req
2566. - it's not about that for me, you know.
- I've heard enough.
Copy !req
2567. Please, I'm begging,
give me the fucking case.
Copy !req
2568. - I'm gonna give you the case.
- Give me the case.
Copy !req
2569. - You gotta do me one favor.
- What's that?
Copy !req
2570. You gotta take this case,
you gotta drive straight home,
Copy !req
2571. need you to open up the briefcase,
and you take out every single dollar.
Copy !req
2572. Don't leave one dollar
inside the briefcase.
Copy !req
2573. And once you have it all
Copy !req
2574. neatly organized outside the briefcase,
Copy !req
2575. I need you to take it
and I need you to shove it right up
Copy !req
2576. your wife's Latvian cunt,
you understand?
Copy !req
2577. - My fucking wife!
- Chill! Chill, bro.
Copy !req
2578. Fuck. You motherfucking piece of shit!
Copy !req
2579. How about now?
Copy !req
2580. - Go, go!
- Fuck!
Copy !req
2581. Motherfuck! You're fucking dead!
Copy !req
2582. Stop! Don't move! Don't move!
Copy !req
2583. Stop, or I will blow you the fuck away!
Copy !req
2584. Drop the case!
Put your hands in the air!
Copy !req
2585. Get down.
Copy !req
2586. Get down on your knees!
Get down on your knees!
Copy !req
2587. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
2588. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
2589. Jordan, do I have a surprise for you!
Copy !req
2590. - What's that?
- Twenty real Lemmons.
Copy !req
2591. Retired pharmacist's client of mine,
Copy !req
2592. they've been in the safe for 15 years.
Copy !req
2593. Are you fucking kidding me? Lemmons?
Copy !req
2594. They're gonna knock us
on our fucking heads.
Copy !req
2595. When it comes to Quaaludes,
the Lemmon 714 was the Holy Grail.
Copy !req
2596. - Can you believe it?
- Oh, my God.
Copy !req
2597. I thought they were like a myth.
Copy !req
2598. Three times as powerful
as anything available today.
Copy !req
2599. Look at these babies.
Copy !req
2600. Boy, Donnie really knew
how to celebrate.
Copy !req
2601. He said he was saving these
for a special occasion.
Copy !req
2602. Like a birthday, or being clap free,
Copy !req
2603. or our money arriving
safely in Switzerland.
Copy !req
2604. So that night,
Copy !req
2605. I cleared my schedule and I rid my body
Copy !req
2606. of anything that could fuck with my high.
Copy !req
2607. It was celebration time.
Copy !req
2608. Okay.
Copy !req
2609. Start off with one, see how it goes?
Copy !req
2610. My guy says all we'll need is one.
Copy !req
2611. Here you go.
Copy !req
2612. - Salud!
- Cheers.
Copy !req
2613. Maybe if I pull it again, it'll go down.
Copy !req
2614. Steve! Steve!
Copy !req
2615. I gotta get out of here!
Copy !req
2616. Carl, I think I got it figured out.
Copy !req
2617. It must be one pull for up
and two pulls for down.
Copy !req
2618. Okay-
Copy !req
2619. Do you feel anything?
Copy !req
2620. No.
Copy !req
2621. It's been 35 minutes.
Copy !req
2622. Maybe we've built up a tolerance
after all these years, huh?
Copy !req
2623. This is bullshit!
Copy !req
2624. My metabolism's pumping.
I can't feel shit!
Copy !req
2625. They're old.
Copy !req
2626. You think they lost their potency, huh?
Copy !req
2627. Check the bottle!
Copy !req
2628. January '81.
Copy !req
2629. They're fucking duds.
Copy !req
2630. Fuck!
Copy !req
2631. Let's take...
Copy !req
2632. Let's take two more each.
Copy !req
2633. - Jordan.
- Yeah, baby.
Copy !req
2634. What are you two retards doing?
Copy !req
2635. We're working out, honey.
Copy !req
2636. Well, Bo Dietl's on the phone.
Copy !req
2637. Okay.
Copy !req
2638. - Okay?
- Okay.
Copy !req
2639. Hey, Bo, what's going on?
Copy !req
2640. Jordan, listen to me clearly.
Copy !req
2641. I cannot talk to you on this phone,
I have to talk to you.
Copy !req
2642. Get out of here. What's going on?
Copy !req
2643. Listen to me!
Leave the fucking house, Jordan,
Copy !req
2644. and then call me from a pay phone.
Copy !req
2645. This is not a fucking joke, Jordan.
Copy !req
2646. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
2647. - Shit.
- What'd he say?
Copy !req
2648. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Copy !req
2649. - I gotta go!
- ls everything okay, Jordan?
Copy !req
2650. The closest pay phone I could get to
Copy !req
2651. was at the Brookville Country Club.
Copy !req
2652. It was a real WASP stronghold,
Copy !req
2653. just a mile down the road
from my house.
Copy !req
2654. Hey, Bo, what's up, it's me.
What's going on?
Copy !req
2655. I'm at a pay phone. What's going on?
Copy !req
2656. Listen to me carefully.
Copy !req
2657. Please. Your little friend there, Brad,
your little buddy, he's in jail.
Copy !req
2658. What the fuck's he in jail for?
Copy !req
2659. - What'd he do?
- I don't know what he did.
Copy !req
2660. My friends in Long Island told me
Copy !req
2661. he got picked up
in some fucking shopping mall.
Copy !req
2662. He got locked up by...
Copy !req
2663. Wait, wait. Did you...
Did you say a shopping mall?
Copy !req
2664. - Yeah.
- He was with Donnie.
Copy !req
2665. He was supposed
to deliver some money,
Copy !req
2666. - then that fucking fat piece of shit...
- Listen to me!
Copy !req
2667. I gotta go fucking talk to him right now!
Copy !req
2668. Listen to me! Don't go! Listen to me.
Copy !req
2669. That guy Denham, that FBI agent guy,
Copy !req
2670. somebody told me
he's got your phones tapped.
Copy !req
2671. Your office and your home.
Copy !req
2672. Don't talk on the motherfucking phone!
Copy !req
2673. Okay. Fuck! I got it. I got it. I got it.
Copy !req
2674. Jordan.
Copy !req
2675. You didn't try to bribe
this fucking FBI agent, did you?
Copy !req
2676. No, I didn't try to bribe an FBI agent.
Copy !req
2677. You think I'm that fucking stupid? No.
Copy !req
2678. What the fuck did you say?
I can't understand you.
Copy !req
2679. Say that again.
Copy !req
2680. I said...
Copy !req
2681. What the fuck are you saying?
Copy !req
2682. I said...
Copy !req
2683. Are you fucking high?
Copy !req
2684. Jordan, are you fucking high?
Copy !req
2685. Jordan, do me a favor,
stay where you are.
Copy !req
2686. Don't get behind the wheel of the car.
Copy !req
2687. I'm gonna send Rocco over
to pick you up.
Copy !req
2688. Jordan! Jordan!
Copy !req
2689. After 15 years in storage,
Copy !req
2690. the Lemmons had
developed a delayed fuse.
Copy !req
2691. It took 90 minutes for
these little fuckers to kick in.
Copy !req
2692. But once they did...
Copy !req
2693. I mean, I had skipped the tingle phase
Copy !req
2694. and went straight to the drool phase.
Copy !req
2695. Tell me where you are!
Don't fucking drive...
Copy !req
2696. These little bastards were so strong,
Copy !req
2697. I discovered a whole new phase.
Copy !req
2698. The cerebral palsy phase.
Copy !req
2699. Come on, stand up!
Copy !req
2700. Okay, walking's out.
Copy !req
2701. All right, think, think.
What else is there?
Copy !req
2702. Yes! I can crawl. I can crawl like Skylar!
Copy !req
2703. Fuck! The kid makes it look
so goddamn easy!
Copy !req
2704. Think, you motherfucker, think!
Copy !req
2705. Yes!
Copy !req
2706. I got it! I've got it!
Copy !req
2707. I can roll! I can roll!
Copy !req
2708. Jordan.
Copy !req
2709. Jordan.
Copy !req
2710. Oh, Jesus. Where are you?
Copy !req
2711. I'm at a country club!
Copy !req
2712. What?
Copy !req
2713. I'm at a country club!
Copy !req
2714. I don't know what
the fuck you're saying.
Copy !req
2715. Look, you need to get home.
Copy !req
2716. Donnie is out of control!
He's on the other line
Copy !req
2717. with some Swiss guy. I don't know...
Copy !req
2718. What?
Copy !req
2719. Get him off the phone!
Copy !req
2720. I can't understand you!
Copy !req
2721. Get him
Copy !req
2722. off
Copy !req
2723. the phone!
Copy !req
2724. I don't know what the fuck
you're saying, Jordan.
Copy !req
2725. Can you just get home? Hurry!
Copy !req
2726. I was less than a mile from home.
Copy !req
2727. I drove as slow as I fucking could.
Copy !req
2728. I'd seen Jell-O move faster.
Copy !req
2729. I was gonna give you two million.
Copy !req
2730. I's gonna be lates.
Copy !req
2731. You ate two million?
Copy !req
2732. Later.
Copy !req
2733. Get off the phone.
Copy !req
2734. Get off the fucking phone! Idiot!
Copy !req
2735. Get out of the way, asshole!
Copy !req
2736. You hate two million?
Copy !req
2737. No, you don't hate two million, Donnie.
Copy !req
2738. By some miracle, I made it home alive,
Copy !req
2739. not a scratch on me or the car.
Copy !req
2740. Jordan?
Copy !req
2741. Jesus fucking Christ!
Copy !req
2742. What did you take?
Copy !req
2743. What's wrong with you?
Copy !req
2744. Jor!
Copy !req
2745. It's fucking good, right?
Copy !req
2746. Fucked up!
Copy !req
2747. Get off the phone!
Copy !req
2748. What the fuck, Jordan?
Copy !req
2749. Your daughter's in the house!
Copy !req
2750. I hope you know that!
Copy !req
2751. Your fucking daughter's in the house!
Copy !req
2752. Yeah, it's real fucking funny, Donnie.
Copy !req
2753. Get off the phone!
Copy !req
2754. Jesus Christ, Jordan.
Copy !req
2755. The FBI!
Copy !req
2756. Hey!
Copy !req
2757. I'm on phone!
Copy !req
2758. Get off the fucking phone!
Copy !req
2759. - Come here!
- ... the phone.
Copy !req
2760. Come on. We're gonna
go upstairs, all right.
Copy !req
2761. I'm on the phone!
Copy !req
2762. On the phone!
Copy !req
2763. I know what you did,
Copy !req
2764. you piece of shit!
Copy !req
2765. What? What?
Copy !req
2766. Brad!
Copy !req
2767. Brad!
Copy !req
2768. Brad!
Copy !req
2769. You fucking cocksucker!
Copy !req
2770. What did you do,
Copy !req
2771. you piece of shit?
Copy !req
2772. FUCK you!
Copy !req
2773. I wanna fucking kill you!
Copy !req
2774. I wanna fucking kill you!
Copy !req
2775. L 9011 you!
Copy !req
2776. What the fuck happened?
Copy !req
2777. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
2778. Jordan? Jordan, are you all right?
Copy !req
2779. Donnie? Donnie?
Copy !req
2780. Donnie?
Copy !req
2781. Jordan, he's not breathing.
Copy !req
2782. Oh, fuck, I don't know what to do.
Copy !req
2783. Jordan, I don't know what the fuck to do!
Copy !req
2784. I can't help him! Oh, my God. Jordan.
Copy !req
2785. Oh, my God, I think he's choking,
Jordan. Do something.
Copy !req
2786. - Oh, God.
- Baby, I got you!
Copy !req
2787. He's not breathing, Jordan.
You gotta do something!
Copy !req
2788. Shit! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Copy !req
2789. L 9011 you.
Copy !req
2790. Step aside!
Copy !req
2791. Oh, God!
Copy !req
2792. Oh, God!
Copy !req
2793. Move aside, baby.
Copy !req
2794. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
2795. Come on!
Copy !req
2796. Jordan, he's not breathing.
You gotta do something.
Copy !req
2797. Jordan, he's a father!
He's got fucking kids!
Copy !req
2798. - Do something!
- Yeah?
Copy !req
2799. Rocco, you gotta get over here.
Copy !req
2800. - Come on.
- Call an ambulance!
Copy !req
2801. I don't fucking know!
Copy !req
2802. Just get over here! Call 911.
Copy !req
2803. Yeah.
Copy !req
2804. You all right? He's all right.
Copy !req
2805. Mr. Belfort?
Copy !req
2806. Mr. Belfort?
Copy !req
2807. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck.
Copy !req
2808. Sir, we need to ask you some questions.
Copy !req
2809. Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you.
Copy !req
2810. Come on, get up.
Copy !req
2811. Get the fuck out of my house.
Copy !req
2812. - Let's go.
- I've been here all night.
Copy !req
2813. I been sitting here all night.
Copy !req
2814. What the fuck are you talking about?
Copy !req
2815. - Where you taking him?
- Where you taking me?
Copy !req
2816. Where you taking him?
Copy !req
2817. You ain't got no warrant.
Copy !req
2818. Just come up
in people's house like that!
Copy !req
2819. Did you drive your car tonight,
Mr. Belfort?
Copy !req
2820. Well?
Copy !req
2821. Wow!
Copy !req
2822. Maybe I hadn't made it home okay.
Copy !req
2823. Get out of the fucking way!
Copy !req
2824. Fuck!
Copy !req
2825. Did you drive that car tonight?
Copy !req
2826. - Yeah.
- Yeah, right.
Copy !req
2827. I'm a family man!
Copy !req
2828. Family man. Honey!
Copy !req
2829. It was a miracle I wasn't killed,
Copy !req
2830. or that I didn't kill anybody else.
Copy !req
2831. The cops took me in for questioning,
but they couldn't charge me.
Copy !req
2832. They had no proof
I was even behind the wheel.
Copy !req
2833. Meanwhile,
Copy !req
2834. Brad did three months
in jail for contempt
Copy !req
2835. because he wouldn't rat Donnie out.
Copy !req
2836. The result, I was scat-free.
Copy !req
2837. But I had eyes on me like never before.
Copy !req
2838. You're a lucky man, Jordan.
Copy !req
2839. You're lucky to be alive,
let alone not in jail.
Copy !req
2840. You know I don't believe in luck, right?
Copy !req
2841. But it's time.
Copy !req
2842. Please, let me call the SEC
and cut a deal
Copy !req
2843. before your luck runs out.
Copy !req
2844. Wave to Daddy.
Copy !req
2845. Hey.
Copy !req
2846. Hey, sweetie.
Copy !req
2847. What kind of terms
would you be talking about if I...
Copy !req
2848. I don't know.
Copy !req
2849. You plead guilty to a handful
of securities violations,
Copy !req
2850. stock manipulation,
high-pressure sales tactics.
Copy !req
2851. Ticky-tack shit like that, you know.
Copy !req
2852. You pay a couple
million dollars in fines,
Copy !req
2853. in exchange, the SEC
fucks off till the end of time.
Copy !req
2854. And Stratton?
Copy !req
2855. What happens to Stratton?
Copy !req
2856. There's no way... I mean...
You got to walk away. Right?
Copy !req
2857. Let Donnie be in charge.
Copy !req
2858. Right. Donnie.
Copy !req
2859. Now the FBI is
another animal completely.
Copy !req
2860. They'll still be pursuing you
for criminal wrongdoing.
Copy !req
2861. However, with you
stepping down voluntarily,
Copy !req
2862. my guess is that
your best friend Agent Denham
Copy !req
2863. will be standing around
with his dick in his hand.
Copy !req
2864. Jordan.
Copy !req
2865. What do you have to think about?
Copy !req
2866. You beat them.
Copy !req
2867. You won!
Copy !req
2868. God knows you never
have to work again.
Copy !req
2869. What're you gonna do?
Spend the rest of your life in jail?
Copy !req
2870. - Is that what you want?
- No.
Copy !req
2871. - Of course not.
- Okay.
Copy !req
2872. Okay! You got
all the money in the world.
Copy !req
2873. You need everybody else's money?
Copy !req
2874. - Of course not, Pops.
- Well?
Copy !req
2875. - You know, I built it.
- I know you built it.
Copy !req
2876. You built it, so now preserve it.
Copy !req
2877. You know,
Copy !req
2878. five years ago,
when I started Stratton Oakmont
Copy !req
2879. with Donnie Azoff, I knew the day
Copy !req
2880. would eventually come
where I'd have to be moving on.
Copy !req
2881. And it's truly with a heavy heart
that I'm here to say that...
Copy !req
2882. That that day is finally here.
Copy !req
2883. I wanna... I want
to thank you all for your...
Copy !req
2884. Your years of loyalty and admiration.
Copy !req
2885. But the point is this.
Copy !req
2886. Under Donnie's leadership,
Copy !req
2887. along with Nicky Koskoff
and Robbie Feinberg
Copy !req
2888. moving into key management positions,
this place really
Copy !req
2889. is gonna be better than ever!
Copy !req
2890. That I promise you. Okay?
Copy !req
2891. Give them a round of applause.
Come on.
Copy !req
2892. This is Ellis Island here, people.
Copy !req
2893. I don't care who you are,
where you're from,
Copy !req
2894. whether your relatives
came over on the fucking Mayflower
Copy !req
2895. or on an inner tube from Haiti,
Copy !req
2896. this right here is the land of opportunity.
Copy !req
2897. Stratton Oakmont is America!
Copy !req
2898. All of you know Kimmie Belzer, right?
Copy !req
2899. Yes, we do.
Copy !req
2900. Fuck you.
Copy !req
2901. Come on, Kimmie.
Copy !req
2902. What you probably didn't know is,
Copy !req
2903. Kimmie was one of
the first brokers here,
Copy !req
2904. one of Stratton's original 20.
Copy !req
2905. Now most of you met Kimmie,
Copy !req
2906. the beautiful sophisticated woman
that she is today.
Copy !req
2907. A woman that wears
$3,000 Armani suits.
Copy !req
2908. Who drives a brand-new
Mercedes-Benz.
Copy !req
2909. A woman who spends
Copy !req
2910. her winters in the Bahamas
Copy !req
2911. and summers in the Hamptons!
Copy !req
2912. That's not the Kimmie that I met.
Copy !req
2913. The Kimmie that I met
didn't have two nickels to rub together.
Copy !req
2914. She was a single mom
on the balls of her ass
Copy !req
2915. with an eight-year-old son.
Copy !req
2916. Okay? She was
three months behind on her rent.
Copy !req
2917. And when she came to me
and asked me for a job,
Copy !req
2918. she asked for a $5,000 advance
Copy !req
2919. just so she could pay her son's tuition.
Copy !req
2920. And what'd I do, Kimmie?
Copy !req
2921. Go on, tell them.
Copy !req
2922. You wrote me a check
Copy !req
2923. for $25,000.
Copy !req
2924. That's right.
Copy !req
2925. Thank you.
Copy !req
2926. And you know why that is?
Copy !req
2927. It's because I believed in you.
Copy !req
2928. It's because I believed in you, Kimmie,
Copy !req
2929. just like I believe in each
and every one of you here today.
Copy !req
2930. - I fucking love you, Jordan!
- I fucking love you.
Copy !req
2931. I fucking love you! I love you.
Copy !req
2932. I fucking love you, too!
I fucking love you, too!
Copy !req
2933. And I love all of you!
Copy !req
2934. And I love all of you
from the bottom of my heart.
Copy !req
2935. - I fucking love you, too.
- I mean that.
Copy !req
2936. You are the shit.
You are the fucking shit.
Copy !req
2937. It's a shame, you know.
Copy !req
2938. For years, I've been telling you guys
never to take no for an answer, right?
Copy !req
2939. You know, to keep pushing,
to never hang up the phone
Copy !req
2940. until you get what you want.
Copy !req
2941. Because you all deserve it.
Copy !req
2942. You know, this fucking deal
that I'm about to sign
Copy !req
2943. barring me from the securities industry,
Copy !req
2944. barring me from Stratton,
Copy !req
2945. my home.
Copy !req
2946. What the fuck is that, you know?
Copy !req
2947. I'll tell you what it is. It's...
Copy !req
2948. It's me taking no
for an answer, you know.
Copy !req
2949. It's them...
Copy !req
2950. It's them selling me,
not the other way around.
Copy !req
2951. It's me being a hypocrite is what it is.
Copy !req
2952. So...
Copy !req
2953. You know what?
Copy !req
2954. I'm not leaving.
Copy !req
2955. I'm not leaving.
Copy !req
2956. I'm not fucking leaving!
Copy !req
2957. You're not getting a fucking promotion!
Copy !req
2958. The show goes on!
Copy !req
2959. This is my home!
Copy !req
2960. They're gonna need
a fucking wrecking ball
Copy !req
2961. to take me out of here!
Copy !req
2962. They're gonna need to
send in the National Guard
Copy !req
2963. or fucking SWAT team
Copy !req
2964. 'cause I ain't going nowhere!
Copy !req
2965. Fuck them!
Copy !req
2966. Fuck them!
Copy !req
2967. Jordy! Jordy!
Copy !req
2968. Jordy! Get back here!
Copy !req
2969. Hey!
Copy !req
2970. Give me that.
Copy !req
2971. What is this?
Copy !req
2972. Ramar of the Jungle, for Christ sake?
Copy !req
2973. Paddy D, mazel tov, you Irishman.
Copy !req
2974. Jordan Belfort just welched
on his deal with the SEC.
Copy !req
2975. He is back in the ocean. Happy hunting.
Copy !req
2976. It was our time to party big.
Copy !req
2977. And just as Brad
was released from jail, too.
Copy !req
2978. I apologized, even offered to
pay him for his time in the can.
Copy !req
2979. But he said no, that he was out.
Copy !req
2980. He didn't want any part of us.
Copy !req
2981. Sad thing was,
Copy !req
2982. two years later he was dead.
Copy !req
2983. Massive heart attack. Thirty-five.
Copy !req
2984. Same age Mozart died.
Copy !req
2985. Not that they have a hell
of a lot in common, but...
Copy !req
2986. Anyway, I don't know
why that came to mind.
Copy !req
2987. Within days, subpoenas started flying.
Copy !req
2988. Notices to produce documents,
depositions, you name it.
Copy !req
2989. Donnie couldn't drink water fast enough.
Copy !req
2990. United States government
wants to give me a subpoena?
Copy !req
2991. Here's what we do
with subpoenas at Stratton Oakmont!
Copy !req
2992. Fuck you, USA! Fuck you!
Copy !req
2993. Fuck you! Fuck you!
Copy !req
2994. FUCK you!
Copy !req
2995. Jordan Belfort.
Copy !req
2996. Alden. That's a nice name.
Copy !req
2997. Thank you very much for that.
Copy !req
2998. - What kind of name is that?
- That is my name.
Copy !req
2999. I do not recall that.
Copy !req
3000. I do not recall that. Okay?
Copy !req
3001. Mr. Ming, thank you for coming in today.
Copy !req
3002. Are you gonna finish
the rest of that Danish?
Copy !req
3003. - Can I have that Danish?
- No, no, go ahead.
Copy !req
3004. They interrogated everybody.
Copy !req
3005. I got a low blood sugar, thyroid thing.
Copy !req
3006. It went on for months.
Copy !req
3007. It was a total fucking harassment.
Copy !req
3008. Tell him to proceed with the questions.
Copy !req
3009. But not a single Strattonite cracked.
Copy !req
3010. Gladys Carrera?
Copy !req
3011. Doesn't ring a bell.
Copy !req
3012. Sorry, I have
no recommendation of that.
Copy !req
3013. No.
Copy !req
3014. No idea.
Copy !req
3015. I don't recall that transaction.
You guys have any milk?
Copy !req
3016. Absolutely not.
Copy !req
3017. Francis Sortigi
you called so many times
Copy !req
3018. I just thought you might remember that.
Copy !req
3019. Would you remember any of those?
Copy !req
3020. - I do not recall any of that.
- This Abdul...
Copy !req
3021. I do not... No, I don't recall.
Copy !req
3022. It was a long phone call.
Copy !req
3023. I just wondered if you have
any memory of that.
Copy !req
3024. Okay. You know we've talked to
several of the employees at this firm
Copy !req
3025. and nobody can recall anything
about this Steve Madden IPO.
Copy !req
3026. I think it's odd.
Copy !req
3027. Do you recall Cartage Corporation?
Copy !req
3028. You do recall it?
Copy !req
3029. No, I don't recall that at all.
Copy !req
3030. Excuse me. I have to ask.
Is that your real hair?
Copy !req
3031. Are you gonna say anything about that?
Copy !req
3032. Are you gonna comment on my hair?
Copy !req
3033. Is that how we're doing...
Is this personal questions?
Copy !req
3034. I'm just wondering why you would
wear something like that.
Copy !req
3035. Sorry. I don't recall that company.
Copy !req
3036. Can I get you anything else, gentlemen?
Copy !req
3037. Yes. Sweetheart, I have a rare condition
Copy !req
3038. which requires me to drink one of those
every 15 minutes, please.
Copy !req
3039. We were specifically advised
not to leave the country.
Copy !req
3040. So, we took our wives to Italy.
Copy !req
3041. We figured we were safer
working from overseas
Copy !req
3042. giving orders to Rugrat.
Copy !req
3043. Nobody could arrest us
and nobody could prove
Copy !req
3044. I was still running Stratton from a yacht.
Copy !req
3045. Hey, Rugrat.
Copy !req
3046. Bonjour.
Copy !req
3047. You bald-headed eagle, how you doing?
Copy !req
3048. Donnie, Donnie, listen!
Copy !req
3049. We have a problem, okay.
Copy !req
3050. Your friend, Steve Madden,
is unloading shares.
Copy !req
3051. What are you saying?
Who told you that?
Copy !req
3052. - What's going on?
- He's doing it, Donnie!
Copy !req
3053. He said that
Steve Madden's unloading shares.
Copy !req
3054. Who told you that? It's bullshit!
Copy !req
3055. Give me that goddamn phone.
Copy !req
3056. What's going on?
Copy !req
3057. Jordan, look. I'm watching the screen
Copy !req
3058. and huge chunks of Steve Madden
are being sold, okay.
Copy !req
3059. It's not coming from us,
so it's gotta be Steve.
Copy !req
3060. He's the only person
with that many shares.
Copy !req
3061. It's Donnie. Call me back, all right.
Copy !req
3062. Donnie, your little friend
is trying to fuck me, you know that.
Copy !req
3063. Your little friend is trying to
fuck me right in the ass.
Copy !req
3064. - Get him on the phone now!
- We don't know anything yet.
Copy !req
3065. Let's not jump to conclusions.
Copy !req
3066. Even though I owned 85%
Copy !req
3067. of Steve-cocksucking-
motherfucking-Madden Shoes,
Copy !req
3068. the shares were in his fucking name.
Copy !req
3069. This motherfucker knew
I was in trouble with the feds
Copy !req
3070. and was trying to take advantage.
Copy !req
3071. Talk to me, man.
How do you wanna play this?
Copy !req
3072. I want you to get
all our clients on the phone right now
Copy !req
3073. and have them start
selling Steve Madden.
Copy !req
3074. We're gonna drive
that fucking price down!
Copy !req
3075. Do you hear me? Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
3076. This is your fucking friend
from high school.
Copy !req
3077. If that little fucking prick
thinks he can fuck with me,
Copy !req
3078. we'll turn his company
into a penny stock! You hear me?
Copy !req
3079. - You got it?
- Yes. I got it!
Copy !req
3080. Let's just not jump to conclusions
before we know what's going on.
Copy !req
3081. Captain Ted!
Copy !req
3082. Captain Ted!
Copy !req
3083. Hang up your phones! Everybody, hey!
Copy !req
3084. Turn the boat around!
We're going home!
Copy !req
3085. Baby! Baby, what happened?
Copy !req
3086. I just...
Copy !req
3087. Sweetheart, what's going on?
Copy !req
3088. Aunt Emma...
Copy !req
3089. Just wait.
Copy !req
3090. I can't...
Copy !req
3091. What's going on? Why you crying?
Copy !req
3092. - She's dead!
- Who? Who's dead?
Copy !req
3093. I just got a call from my cousin Betty.
Copy !req
3094. Yeah?
Copy !req
3095. Aunt Emma is dead.
Copy !req
3096. - Are you fucking kidding me?
- No.
Copy !req
3097. You're serious?
Copy !req
3098. Oh, my God! Baby, that's...
Copy !req
3099. Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
3100. Oh, sweetheart, that's just...
Copy !req
3101. Fucking heart attack!
Copy !req
3102. Boom, snap, gone.
Copy !req
3103. Shuffled off her mortal coil.
Copy !req
3104. And $20 million stuck
in a Swiss bank account.
Copy !req
3105. The last time I talked
to her she was fine!
Copy !req
3106. - She's not that old.
- Oh, God! Baby, oh, God!
Copy !req
3107. That's so fucking terrible!
Copy !req
3108. Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
3109. It is terrible.
Copy !req
3110. Your aunt was such an elegant,
attractive woman.
Copy !req
3111. My condolences to you and your family.
Copy !req
3112. Yes. We're absolutely devastated.
Copy !req
3113. Thank you so much
for your condolences.
Copy !req
3114. Now where does that leave us
in regard to her account exactly?
Copy !req
3115. Does it go into probate or what?
Copy !req
3116. Not to worry, Jordan. Not to worry.
Copy !req
3117. Your aunt, before she died,
Copy !req
3118. signed a document
naming you as her successor.
Copy !req
3119. She did?
Copy !req
3120. Fantastic! Well, that's good news!
Copy !req
3121. Well, not as of yet.
Copy !req
3122. What does that mean? Not as of yet?
Copy !req
3123. I can't seem to hear you.
Copy !req
3124. I must have bad reception.
Are you speaking English?
Copy !req
3125. - Very... Now. Fast. Very fast.
- Fast?
Copy !req
3126. I have to get to Switzerland now?
Copy !req
3127. Speak English! Fucking speak English!
Copy !req
3128. Whoa! Hey, hey, hey. Hey! Quiet, okay?
Copy !req
3129. Take your suit, take your dick, okay,
Copy !req
3130. - and move your ass! Please.
- Okay.
Copy !req
3131. Move my ass! Yes!
Copy !req
3132. I gotta say, these Swiss were
some sneaky motherfuckers.
Copy !req
3133. Within minutes,
he had me set up with a forger
Copy !req
3134. who could fake Aunt Emma's signature.
Copy !req
3135. You American shit!
Copy !req
3136. I just had to get there by tomorrow,
or lose $20 million.
Copy !req
3137. We're going to Monaco!
Copy !req
3138. - Monaco? Now?
- Yes, baby.
Copy !req
3139. We're going to Monaco,
so then we can go to Switzerland, okay?
Copy !req
3140. - But her aunt just died.
- I realize that.
Copy !req
3141. But I have business in Switzerland.
I need to go to Switzerland right now.
Copy !req
3142. Bottom line. Sorry.
Copy !req
3143. We gotta get to London.
Copy !req
3144. Why? Why?
Copy !req