1. Like we discussed yesterday,Copy !req
2. I really want you all to focus
on topic sentences more.Copy !req
3. Too many of you are rushing into
examples in your body paragraphs.Copy !req
4. It'd be good for
everyone to reviewCopy !req
5. the paragraph structure PDF
I sent you a few weeks ago.Copy !req
6. I know these rules
can feel constraining.Copy !req
7. But remember, the
point of this courseCopy !req
8. is to learn how to write
clearly and persuasively.Copy !req
9. That's how you can effectively
communicate your ideas.Copy !req
10. Chris, I imagine that was
supposed to be a private chatCopy !req
11. that you sent to the
whole class. Well done.Copy !req
12. And, yes, the camera on
my laptop still doesn't work.Copy !req
13. Believe me, you're
not missing much.Copy !req
14. Oh, and for those of you who
still haven't given me paper three,Copy !req
15. I need it by Wednesday,
no exceptions.Copy !req
16. And remember,Copy !req
17. the more you
revise these essays,Copy !req
18. the better.Copy !req
19. The more you change,Copy !req
20. chances are, you'll express
your thoughts and ideasCopy !req
21. more clearly and persuasively.Copy !req
22. All right?Copy !req
23. Oh!Copy !req
24. "Moby Dick… In the
amazing book, Moby…"Copy !req
25. Liz?Copy !req
26. Just use your
key, open the door!Copy !req
27. Oh, my God.Copy !req
28. Who are you?Copy !req
29. Gosh, are you okay?Copy !req
30. Should I call an ambulance?
I should call an am…Copy !req
31. Read this to me.Copy !req
32. Do you have a phone?
My phone's dead, I need to—Copy !req
33. - Please just read it!
- Okay!Copy !req
34. Okay.Copy !req
35. "In the amazing book, Moby Dick,
by the author, Herman Melville,Copy !req
36. the author recounts
his story of being at sea.Copy !req
37. In the first part of his book, the
author, calling himself Ishmael,Copy !req
38. is in a small seaside town,Copy !req
39. and he is sharing a bed with
a man named Queequeg."Copy !req
40. What is this? Why
am I reading this?Copy !req
41. - I-I need to—
- Just read any of it!Copy !req
42. "And I felt saddest of all
when I read the boring chaptersCopy !req
43. that were only
descriptions of whales,Copy !req
44. because I knew that the
author was just trying to save usCopy !req
45. from his own sad story…Copy !req
46. - Sad story.
- …just for a little while."Copy !req
47. Just for a little while.Copy !req
48. "This book made me think about my own life
and then it made me feel glad for my…"Copy !req
49. Did that help?Copy !req
50. Look, do you have a
phone? My phone is dead.Copy !req
51. I need to call an ambulance.Copy !req
52. - You need help.
- I don't go to hospitals.Copy !req
53. - I can't help you, I don't—
- I don't go to hospitals.Copy !req
54. I am sorry, um… You can go.Copy !req
55. Thank you for
reading that to me.Copy !req
56. Are you sure you're okay?Copy !req
57. I'm sorry, who are you?Copy !req
58. Are you acquainted with
the Gospel of Jesus Christ?Copy !req
59. - What?
- I'm sharing Christ's message of love,Copy !req
60. - and I'm showing people…
- Oh.Copy !req
61. I think I should call my friend.
She's a nurse, she takes care of me.Copy !req
62. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go.
Sorry to bother you.Copy !req
63. Wait.Copy !req
64. My phone fell under
there, can you…Copy !req
65. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
66. Here it is.Copy !req
67. Hey, listen, I don't know
what's gonna happenCopy !req
68. in the next few minutes.Copy !req
69. If you don't mind, could you…Copy !req
70. - Yeah. Yeah, of course.
- Thank you.Copy !req
71. It's Liz. I'm not around.
Leave a message.Copy !req
72. What was that thing that
you had me read to you?Copy !req
73. It's an essay.Copy !req
74. It's my job.Copy !req
75. I teach online college courses.Copy !req
76. But why did you have
me read it to you?Copy !req
77. Because I thought I was dying.
And I wanted to hear it one last time.Copy !req
78. You should have
called an ambulance.Copy !req
79. With no health insurance?Copy !req
80. Being in debt is better than being
dead. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
81. Why is there a missionary here?Copy !req
82. Someone left the door unlocked.Copy !req
83. I left after you
fell asleep earlier,Copy !req
84. I must've forgotten.Copy !req
85. Good thing, too. If I
hadn't, you might have…Copy !req
86. - Liz, I don't like it when you…
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
87. I just hate the thought of you being
sealed up in this place when I'm not here.Copy !req
88. Now shut up, I'm trying to…Copy !req
89. - What?
- Hush.Copy !req
90. Tell me what you felt.Copy !req
91. Pain, in my chest.
Hard to breathe.Copy !req
92. I couldn't intake air.Copy !req
93. - How are you sleeping?
- I'm not, really.Copy !req
94. Lean forward.Copy !req
95. You're wheezing.Copy !req
96. I always wheeze, Liz.Copy !req
97. You're wheezing
more. Deep breath.Copy !req
98. - That hurt?
- What was my blood pressure?Copy !req
99. 238 over 134.Copy !req
100. Oh.Copy !req
101. Yeah. "Oh."Copy !req
102. Hey, could you—Copy !req
103. I haven't been to the bathroom
all day, I'm ready to explode.Copy !req
104. You need help in there?Copy !req
105. No, I'm fine. Sorry.Copy !req
106. What are you sorry about?Copy !req
107. I'm sorry. I don't
know. Just sorry.Copy !req
108. - I should go.
- Thank you.Copy !req
109. You must be from New Life. You
know Doug, from the church council?Copy !req
110. Yeah, I think so?Copy !req
111. I'm not entirely sure.
I'm sort of new here, so…Copy !req
112. He's my dad.Copy !req
113. Doug and Cindy adopted
me when I was a baby.Copy !req
114. Oh, that's great. I've never
seen you there before, but,Copy !req
115. - again I'm sort of new, so…
- Fucking hate New Life.Copy !req
116. - Oh.
- My dad forced me to go when I was a kid.Copy !req
117. It was awful, growing up with
all that "end times" bullshit.Copy !req
118. You're young.Copy !req
119. Why the hell would you want to
believe that the world is about to end?Copy !req
120. I believe that when Christ
returns, it's gonna be beautiful.Copy !req
121. Look, you can go.Copy !req
122. I know Charlie appreciates the
help, but if you're here to convert him…Copy !req
123. Oh, we don't convert, our
message is a message of hopeCopy !req
124. - for people of all—
- People of all faiths.Copy !req
125. - I know. You're sweet.
- But…Copy !req
126. Believe me, he doesn't
want to hear about New Life.Copy !req
127. Why?Copy !req
128. Because it's caused
him a lot of pain.Copy !req
129. How?Copy !req
130. It killed his boyfriend.Copy !req
131. You're saying the church…Copy !req
132. Killed Charlie's boyfriend, yes.Copy !req
133. And I should add that New Life
has caused me a lot of pain in my life.Copy !req
134. So, we don't need you coming over
here, especially not now, not this week.Copy !req
135. Why?Copy !req
136. Because he probably
won't be here next week.Copy !req
137. Where's he going?Copy !req
138. I'm sorry you had
to come over, Liz.Copy !req
139. No, it's okay.Copy !req
140. I'm sorry that I
always think I'm dying.Copy !req
141. Charlie, your blood
pressure is 238 over 134.Copy !req
142. - I'm sorry.
- Go to the hospital.Copy !req
143. - I'm sorry.
- Stop saying you're sorry.Copy !req
144. Go to the hospital.Copy !req
145. You have congestive
heart failure.Copy !req
146. If you don't go to the hospital,
you'll be dead by the weekend.Copy !req
147. You will die.Copy !req
148. Well, then, I better get to work because
I have a lot of essays this week.Copy !req
149. God damn it!Copy !req
150. I know. I'm sorry, I'm
an awful person. I know.Copy !req
151. I'm sorry.Copy !req
152. Did you still want to hear about
Christ's message of love and salvation?Copy !req
153. - No, he does not!
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
154. I'll go.Copy !req
155. I still don't understand why you
had me read that essay to you.Copy !req
156. It's a really good essay.Copy !req
157. Goodbye.Copy !req
158. Charlie, you have to go to the
hospital. This has gone way too far.Copy !req
159. And rack up tens of thousands
of dollars in hospital billsCopy !req
160. I'll never be able
to pay back, ever.Copy !req
161. This affects me too, you know?Copy !req
162. You're my friend.Copy !req
163. I know.Copy !req
164. - I'm sorry.
- You say you're sorry one more time,Copy !req
165. I will shove a knife right
into you, I swear to Godl.Copy !req
166. Go ahead. What's it gonna do?Copy !req
167. My internal organs
are two feet in, at least.Copy !req
168. I've been telling you
this would happen.Copy !req
169. I know.Copy !req
170. - Haven't I been telling you?
- You have.Copy !req
171. …a new GOP presidential primary.Copy !req
172. However, they say absentee
ballots are the lowest they've seenCopy !req
173. - in recent history.
- That's not good.Copy !req
174. No, it's not. Get out
and vote tomorrow.Copy !req
175. if you want to vote in
the Republican primary.Copy !req
176. Our current polls do
show, among Republicans,Copy !req
177. - 30% favor Trump…
- Liz.Copy !req
178. …Senator Ted Cruz,Copy !req
179. 17% would vote for
Florida senator Marco Rubio,Copy !req
180. and 5% for Ohio
governor John Kasich.Copy !req
181. Liz.Copy !req
182. …for someone
else, if they could.Copy !req
183. Below a percent
that just don't know.Copy !req
184. Meanwhile, Vermont
senator Bernie SandersCopy !req
185. is expected to win the Gem
State on the Democratic side…Copy !req
186. Please.Copy !req
187. Thank you.Copy !req
188. Oh, I've seen
this one, it's good.Copy !req
189. "In the first part of
his book, the author,Copy !req
190. calling himself Ishmael,Copy !req
191. is in a small seaside townCopy !req
192. and he isCopy !req
193. sharing a bed with a manCopy !req
194. named Queequeg.Copy !req
195. The author and
Queequeg go to church,Copy !req
196. and later, they set out on a ship
captained by the pirate namedCopy !req
197. Ahab,Copy !req
198. who is missing a leg,Copy !req
199. and very much
wants to kill the whaleCopy !req
200. which is named Moby Dick,Copy !req
201. and which is white.Copy !req
202. In the course of the book,Copy !req
203. the pirate Ahab
encounters many hardships.Copy !req
204. His entire life is set around
trying to kill a certain whale.Copy !req
205. I think this is sadCopy !req
206. because the whale
doesn't have any emotions.Copy !req
207. He's justCopy !req
208. a poor, big animal.Copy !req
209. And I feel bad for Ahab as well…Copy !req
210. …because he thinks
that his life will be betterCopy !req
211. if he can just kill this whale.Copy !req
212. But in reality,Copy !req
213. it won't help him at all.Copy !req
214. This book made me thinkCopy !req
215. about my own life.Copy !req
216. This book made me
think about my own life.Copy !req
217. This book made me
think about my own life."Copy !req
218. Does this mean now
I'm gonna get fat?Copy !req
219. No, it doesn't.Copy !req
220. I was always big.Copy !req
221. I just…Copy !req
222. I let it get out of control.Copy !req
223. So, was your mom okay
with you coming over here?Copy !req
224. I didn't tell her.Copy !req
225. It's really good to see you.Copy !req
226. You look beautiful.Copy !req
227. So, how's school?Copy !req
228. - You're a senior, right?
- You actually care?Copy !req
229. Well, of course I care.Copy !req
230. I pester your mom for information
as often as she'll give it to me.Copy !req
231. Um…Copy !req
232. So…Copy !req
233. Why are you— I mean,
don't you have school?Copy !req
234. Got suspended this morning.Copy !req
235. Oh.Copy !req
236. Why?Copy !req
237. I posted something about
my stupid bitch lab partnerCopy !req
238. that the vice principal said
was "vaguely threatening."Copy !req
239. You don't like school?Copy !req
240. Only idiots like high school.Copy !req
241. But you're on track
to graduate, right?Copy !req
242. Counselor says I might not.Copy !req
243. I'm not worried.Copy !req
244. I'm a smart person.Copy !req
245. I never forget anything.
High school is just bullshit.Copy !req
246. But, Ellie, it's important. If
you don't graduate, then…Copy !req
247. Are you actually trying
to parent me right now?Copy !req
248. No, I'm… Sorry.Copy !req
249. I just…Copy !req
250. I just thought that maybe we could
spend some time with each other.Copy !req
251. I'm not spending time
with you. You're disgusting.Copy !req
252. Well, I'm a lot bigger than I
was since last time you saw me.Copy !req
253. No, I'm not talking
about what you look like.Copy !req
254. You'd be disgusting
even if you weren't this fat.Copy !req
255. You'd still be that piece-of-shit dad
who walked out on me when I was eight.Copy !req
256. All because he wanted
to fuck one of his students.Copy !req
257. Can I have one of these?Copy !req
258. Yeah.Copy !req
259. Look, it's-it's
been a long time.Copy !req
260. I just thought that maybe we
can get to know each other.Copy !req
261. I don't even know why I'm here.Copy !req
262. I can pay you.Copy !req
263. You want to pay me
to spend time with you?Copy !req
264. And I can help
you with your work.Copy !req
265. It's what I do for my job.Copy !req
266. I can help you
pass your classes.Copy !req
267. - You teach online?
- Yes.Copy !req
268. - Your students know what you look like?
- I keep the camera shut off.Copy !req
269. Yeah, that's
probably a good idea.Copy !req
270. My counselor says that if I show a
lot of improvement in one subject,Copy !req
271. I might be able to graduate.Copy !req
272. You can rewrite these essays for English.
They have to be really good, though.Copy !req
273. Well, look, um, I don't know
if I should write them for you,Copy !req
274. - but I can work with you on them.
- How much can you pay me?Copy !req
275. Everything I have. All the
money I have in the bank.Copy !req
276. How much?Copy !req
277. $120,000? Something
like that. I'd have to check.Copy !req
278. I never go out.Copy !req
279. All I pay for is food,
uh, rent, Internet.Copy !req
280. And I work all the time.Copy !req
281. And you'd give all of it to me?Copy !req
282. Not to my mom, to me?Copy !req
283. Yes.Copy !req
284. Just… don't tell
your mom, all right?Copy !req
285. And maybe you could do
some writing just for me.Copy !req
286. Why?Copy !req
287. Because you're a smart person.Copy !req
288. And I bet you'd
make a strong writer.Copy !req
289. Plus, I'm a teacher. I want to make sure
you're getting something out of this.Copy !req
290. I don't even understand you.Copy !req
291. Stand up and walk over to me.Copy !req
292. - What?
- Come over here.Copy !req
293. Walk toward me.Copy !req
294. No. No. Without this thing.Copy !req
295. Stand up and walk over here.Copy !req
296. - Ellie, I can't really…
- Shut up.Copy !req
297. Come over here.Copy !req
298. "…celebrate my soul.Copy !req
299. Sell my soul."Copy !req
300. Gambino's!Copy !req
301. Yeah, you can, um…Copy !req
302. I put a $20 in the mailbox.Copy !req
303. Sure.Copy !req
304. You can just leave it on the…Copy !req
305. Yeah, I, uh… I remember.Copy !req
306. Everything okay in there?Copy !req
307. Yeah.Copy !req
308. You sure?Copy !req
309. Yeah.Copy !req
310. I'm fine.Copy !req
311. Thank you.Copy !req
312. Breathe slowly.Copy !req
313. Relax.Copy !req
314. It measures perspiration.
It's an indicator of stress.Copy !req
315. It's about establishing a relationship
between your brain and your body.Copy !req
316. If you know how to make yourself
calm, then your blood pressure will…Copy !req
317. Here.Copy !req
318. I don't need a little
machine to tell meCopy !req
319. to take a few deep
breaths and stop sweating.Copy !req
320. Well, apparently,
you fucking do.Copy !req
321. Take another deep breath.Copy !req
322. Thank you.Copy !req
323. We're just gonna try some
different methods, or whatever.Copy !req
324. If you refuse to go to
the hospital, then you'll…Copy !req
325. I don't know.Copy !req
326. Where'd this come from?Copy !req
327. Hey.Copy !req
328. Was she here?Copy !req
329. No, I don't like this.Copy !req
330. This isn't a good idea.Copy !req
331. You know you're not
supposed to be around her.Copy !req
332. Does her mom know about this?Copy !req
333. I just wanted to see her.Copy !req
334. Mary has kept her
from me all this time.Copy !req
335. Why do you suddenly need
to see her so bad, why now?Copy !req
336. Liz.Copy !req
337. Why the hell do you have
her homework, anyway?Copy !req
338. Look, I didn't plan for this.Copy !req
339. She needs some help at school, so
I'm gonna help her with a few essays.Copy !req
340. You haven't seen her since
she was eight years old,Copy !req
341. and you're gonna reconnect with
her by doing her homework for her?Copy !req
342. - It's fine.
- It's not fine.Copy !req
343. She shouldn't be around
you when you're like this.Copy !req
344. What if something happens,
what if you need help?Copy !req
345. Charlie, calm down.Copy !req
346. Hey. No.Copy !req
347. Okay. Forget it, then.Copy !req
348. - I'm worried about her.
- Why?Copy !req
349. Oh, you're spying on her now?Copy !req
350. It doesn't look like
she has any friends.Copy !req
351. I don't think this is…Copy !req
352. Come on, a dead dog?Copy !req
353. I'm worried that she's forgotten
what an amazing person she is.Copy !req
354. She's just a teenager.Copy !req
355. Everyone is insane
when they're a teenager.Copy !req
356. When I was her age, when
my dad would really piss me off…Copy !req
357. I'm just lucky I didn't get
arrested, that's all I'll say.Copy !req
358. Point is,Copy !req
359. bringing her over
here is a bad idea.Copy !req
360. You have enough to deal
with right now, you hear me?Copy !req
361. Do not bring her
over here again.Copy !req
362. Okay.Copy !req
363. Okay.Copy !req
364. It's not like she's alone,
you know. She has her mom.Copy !req
365. Ugh, shit. I have to go soon.Copy !req
366. I hate these night shifts.Copy !req
367. It's just a steady parade
of dumb, drunk college kids.Copy !req
368. Did I tell you about this girlCopy !req
369. from a few nights ago?Copy !req
370. The puke was
bright purple, I swear.Copy !req
371. I mean, what is that?Copy !req
372. Why can't these kids
just drink beer, you know?Copy !req
373. Are you choking?Copy !req
374. Oh, God! Okay, lean on that arm.Copy !req
375. Lean on that arm!Copy !req
376. Okay, I need you
to rock with me.Copy !req
377. I'm okay.Copy !req
378. I'm okay.Copy !req
379. God damn it, Charlie,
what is wrong with you?Copy !req
380. Chew your food like
a normal human being!Copy !req
381. You could have just
died right in front of me!Copy !req
382. I'm sorry.Copy !req
383. I'm sorry, Liz.Copy !req
384. It's okay.Copy !req
385. I read through some of the postsCopy !req
386. in the class discussion
forum this morning.Copy !req
387. In particular, a post about
crafting a good thesis,Copy !req
388. and I quote, "Just pick a
sentence from the readingCopy !req
389. and say, 'It's
good,' or some shit."Copy !req
390. Listen, at this
point in the course,Copy !req
391. I have given you all that I can,Copy !req
392. in terms of structure, building a
thesis, paragraph organization.Copy !req
393. But if all of that isn't builtCopy !req
394. on your own original
ideas and truthful analysis,Copy !req
395. it doesn't mean anything.Copy !req
396. Think about that as
you write and revise.Copy !req
397. Think about the truth
of your argument.Copy !req
398. I know this may sound
silly, but it's important.Copy !req
399. Promise, it's important.Copy !req
400. This is…Copy !req
401. You say that Walt Whitman
wrote Song for Myself.Copy !req
402. Yeah?Copy !req
403. It's called Song of Myself.Copy !req
404. My title's better.Copy !req
405. Yeah.Copy !req
406. Well… Okay, I'll just change it.Copy !req
407. "The poem Song of Myself is in
a book called Leaves of Grass.Copy !req
408. It was written by Walt Whitman
and was published in 1855.Copy !req
409. He paid for the first
publication himself."Copy !req
410. You don't have to read
it out loud. Just rewrite it.Copy !req
411. You're supposed to analyze the
poem. This is just a list of facts.Copy !req
412. Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia.Copy !req
413. You know, it's really
an amazing poem.Copy !req
414. Whitman uses the metaphor
of "I" not to refer to himself,Copy !req
415. but to explode the very definition of
self in favor of a more all-encompassing—Copy !req
416. I really, really don't care.Copy !req
417. You know, I think you might
like it if you actually read it.Copy !req
418. You're just like my teachers.Copy !req
419. You think just because I'm not
losing my shit over the poem,Copy !req
420. it's because I didn't read it.Copy !req
421. I did read it.Copy !req
422. It's overwritten, and
dumb, and repetitive.Copy !req
423. And even though he thinks
his metaphor of "I" is deep,Copy !req
424. it's actually just a
bunch of bullshit.Copy !req
425. And, in reality, he's just some
worthless 19th century faggot.Copy !req
426. That's an interesting
perspective.Copy !req
427. It would make for
an interesting essay.Copy !req
428. Just write that thing about
exploding the definition of self.Copy !req
429. My English teacher will love it.Copy !req
430. - So, how's your mom doing?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
431. Look, if you're not gonna
write these essays for me, then…Copy !req
432. Ellie, I don't need you here
to write these essays for you.Copy !req
433. If you want to go, you can go.Copy !req
434. You can still have the money.Copy !req
435. - I thought you wanted to get to know me.
- I do,Copy !req
436. but I don't want to
force you to be here.Copy !req
437. It's up to you.Copy !req
438. She's fine.Copy !req
439. Mom. I guess.Copy !req
440. - She happy?
- When she drinks.Copy !req
441. You guys still live in that
duplex over on Orchard?Copy !req
442. You don't even
know where we live?Copy !req
443. You don't stay in
touch with Mom?Copy !req
444. Yeah, I-I check in with
her as often as she lets me.Copy !req
445. She really only tells
me things about you.Copy !req
446. Why?Copy !req
447. Because that's all I
want to know about.Copy !req
448. When I was 11, we moved
to the other side of town,Copy !req
449. near the Walmart.Copy !req
450. Is your motherCopy !req
451. - with anyone right now?
- No.Copy !req
452. Why, you interested?Copy !req
453. No, of course not.Copy !req
454. - Why'd you gain all that weight?
- I don't…Copy !req
455. If you're gonna interrogate
me, I'm gonna do the same thing.Copy !req
456. Why'd you gain all that weight?Copy !req
457. Someone close to me
passed away, and it…Copy !req
458. It had an effect on me.Copy !req
459. Your boyfriend.Copy !req
460. - My partner.
- Your student.Copy !req
461. He wasn't that young. It
was a night school course.Copy !req
462. Oh, I remember him.Copy !req
463. You had him over for dinner once when
Mom was in Montana, visiting Grandma.Copy !req
464. You made steaks.Copy !req
465. The good kind.Copy !req
466. Better meal than you
ever made for me or Mom.Copy !req
467. I remember hearing you
two talk after I went to bed.Copy !req
468. How do you remember all that?Copy !req
469. I told you, I never
forget anything.Copy !req
470. How'd he die?Copy !req
471. I— I don't…Copy !req
472. I'm— I really don't want
to talk about that right now,Copy !req
473. if that's all right with you.Copy !req
474. I'll write these essays for you.Copy !req
475. I want you to do some
writing, just for me.Copy !req
476. I hate writing essays.Copy !req
477. Just think about the poem for
a while, and write something.Copy !req
478. Be honest. Tell me
what you really think.Copy !req
479. You want me to write
what I really think?Copy !req
480. I'll be right back.Copy !req
481. Just write whatever you want.Copy !req
482. Are you okay?Copy !req
483. Unless you're dying, there's
no way I'm going in there.Copy !req
484. Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.Copy !req
485. Hi. I was looking for Charlie?Copy !req
486. He's in the bathroom.Copy !req
487. Oh, I can come back.Copy !req
488. - Are you his friend, or…
- I'm his daughter.Copy !req
489. - Oh.
- Are you surprised?Copy !req
490. - Yeah, I guess.
- What's more surprising?Copy !req
491. That a gay guy has a daughter, or
that someone actually found his penis?Copy !req
492. I'm kidding. Jesus.Copy !req
493. Um… Charlie was interested in
hearing more about my church,Copy !req
494. - and I brought some literature—
- Are you Mormon?Copy !req
495. No, I'm from New Life.Copy !req
496. Oh. That end times cult thing.Copy !req
497. It's not a cult.Copy !req
498. Tell you one thing
that I like about religion.Copy !req
499. What I like about religion is that it
assumes that everyone is an idiotCopy !req
500. and that they're all incapable
of saving themselves.Copy !req
501. I think they got
something right with that.Copy !req
502. - I don't think like that—
- What I don't like about religionCopy !req
503. is that when people
accept Jesus or whatever,Copy !req
504. they suddenly think that
they're better than everyone else.Copy !req
505. By accepting the fact
that they're stupid sinners,Copy !req
506. somehow they've become
better, and they turn into assholes.Copy !req
507. I don't really know what to
say. I have some pamphletsCopy !req
508. that I think would—Copy !req
509. - Why did you just do that?
- Are you coming back tomorrow?Copy !req
510. - I'm not sure.
- Come back tomorrow.Copy !req
511. I'll be here around
the same time.Copy !req
512. I'm sorry, what's happening?Copy !req
513. Oh!Copy !req
514. Hi. I was just coming over to
share these pamphlets with you.Copy !req
515. You'll have those
done by tomorrow?Copy !req
516. Sure.Copy !req
517. - Five-page minimum.
- It'll be good, I promise.Copy !req
518. - I'm Ellie.
- Thomas.Copy !req
519. So…Copy !req
520. Christ's return has been
promised for centuries.Copy !req
521. But there are a lot of clues in
Scripture that suggest it's imminent.Copy !req
522. So, that means we don't have time
to deny the Gospel, we don't have—Copy !req
523. Do you really think that
the world's gonna end soon?Copy !req
524. Well, the Bible says that no one
shall know the day or the hour,Copy !req
525. but, yeah, I think we're
probably living in end times.Copy !req
526. And that doesn't bother you?Copy !req
527. No. It's the idea that a better
world is coming to replace this one.Copy !req
528. That everything terrible
about this country, this planet,Copy !req
529. is gonna be wiped clean and replaced
with something pure and holy, and…Copy !req
530. I'm sorry. I don't mean to
be rude, but I know all this.Copy !req
531. What do you mean?Copy !req
532. I have probably read everything
New Life Church has ever written.Copy !req
533. Probably every pamphlet
they've ever published.Copy !req
534. Wow, that's great and everything,
but these tracts are just the beginning.Copy !req
535. There's so much
more in the BibleCopy !req
536. - that we can—
- I read the Bible.Copy !req
537. - Really?
- Sure. Couple times.Copy !req
538. Did you like it?Copy !req
539. I thought it was devastating.Copy !req
540. God creates us,
expels us from paradise.Copy !req
541. We wander around for thousands
of years killing each other,Copy !req
542. before He comes back
and saves 144,000 of us.Copy !req
543. Meanwhile, seven-and-a-half
billion of us fall into hell.Copy !req
544. Yeah.Copy !req
545. That's not really
how I interpret it, but…Copy !req
546. Charlie, you have to understand,Copy !req
547. God hasn't turned
His back on you.Copy !req
548. If you accept Him, He'll
release you from this.Copy !req
549. He'll take your soul out of this
body and give you a brand-new body.Copy !req
550. One made of pure light. I
mean, don't you want that?Copy !req
551. I'm not interested
in being saved.Copy !req
552. I appreciate what you did
the other day, but you can go.Copy !req
553. This doesn't sound
like something that I—Copy !req
554. Look, I really think that God
brought me here for a reason.Copy !req
555. There's a reason why
I knocked on your doorCopy !req
556. right when you needed
someone the most.Copy !req
557. Isn't there any way I can help?Copy !req
558. I mean, that's the entire reasonCopy !req
559. why I became a missionary
in the first place, right?Copy !req
560. There's something
you can do for me.Copy !req
561. - What?
- Um, nothing, I just…Copy !req
562. I hope you know I
wasn't talking about, um…Copy !req
563. - What?
- I'm not…Copy !req
564. - Oh, my God.
- I'm— I'm sorry. I just…Copy !req
565. - No.
- With what you were watchingCopy !req
566. - the first time I came in here, I just…
- I am not attracted to you.Copy !req
567. Please, you gotta believe me
when I say I'm not attracted to you.Copy !req
568. You're a fetus.Copy !req
569. I'm sorry.Copy !req
570. Thomas, tell me the truth.Copy !req
571. You find me disgusting?Copy !req
572. No.Copy !req
573. I just want to help.Copy !req
574. Please, just let me help.Copy !req
575. Thank you. That's very helpful.Copy !req
576. What happened to your— Sorry.Copy !req
577. Your friend, Liz, she said
that your boyfriend, um,Copy !req
578. he used to go to New Life?Copy !req
579. - Charlie?
- Yeah.Copy !req
580. I got you this.Copy !req
581. I did some asking around, and…Copy !req
582. What the fuck is he doing here?Copy !req
583. He's just helping me with
something. Take it easy, Liz.Copy !req
584. Okay, well, you can go now.Copy !req
585. Liz.Copy !req
586. Go home.Copy !req
587. - Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Leave it.Copy !req
588. I said, leave it!Copy !req
589. Liz, would you stop?Copy !req
590. Actually, stay. We'll
have a little chat.Copy !req
591. What's this?Copy !req
592. The fuck does it look like?Copy !req
593. It's a fat-guy wheelchair.Copy !req
594. And why do I need a wheelchair?Copy !req
595. I was talking to one
of the ER doctors,Copy !req
596. he said moderate activity
would be a good idea.Copy !req
597. Sense of independence
might help you out.Copy !req
598. And what did you
pay for this thing?Copy !req
599. Nothing. We ordered it for
a patient a few months ago.Copy !req
600. - It's just been sitting around.
- What happened to the patient?Copy !req
601. Just try it out. Please.Copy !req
602. Beep. Beep. Beep.Copy !req
603. - Can I sit?
- I gotcha.Copy !req
604. - Good?
- Yeah, actually, this is really nice.Copy !req
605. Yeah.Copy !req
606. Let me clear some space for you.Copy !req
607. Whee.Copy !req
608. Hello?Copy !req
609. Look, no hands.Copy !req
610. Thank you, Liz. This
is great, so great.Copy !req
611. - See? I told you.
- I know.Copy !req
612. - I should go.
- Ah-pap-pap.Copy !req
613. Not until we have
our little chat.Copy !req
614. - What?
- Come on.Copy !req
615. Liz.Copy !req
616. Just gimme a minute with him.Copy !req
617. Where are you from?Copy !req
618. What?Copy !req
619. You said you've only
been here for a little while.Copy !req
620. Where you from?Copy !req
621. Uh, Iowa. A town
called Waterloo?Copy !req
622. You asking me?Copy !req
623. No. I'm from Waterloo.Copy !req
624. Okay.Copy !req
625. Your whole family move
out here for New Life?Copy !req
626. No, it's just me.Copy !req
627. I wanted to do some
missionary work before school.Copy !req
628. You're from Iowa,Copy !req
629. and you came to Idaho
to do missionary work?Copy !req
630. Why aren't you in
Africa or something?Copy !req
631. Idaho needs the Word
as much as anywhere else.Copy !req
632. Okay, listen. I know
this is fun for you.Copy !req
633. You get to travel around, act
superior than everyone else,Copy !req
634. and eventually, you go home,Copy !req
635. get some boring job,
have too many kids.Copy !req
636. It's God's plan.Copy !req
637. But there are other
types of people.Copy !req
638. People like Charlie, for whom
this amazing plan doesn't fit.Copy !req
639. So, just stay away from him.Copy !req
640. He doesn't need this right now.Copy !req
641. I disagree.Copy !req
642. - Excuse me?
- Sorry, I just, uh…Copy !req
643. He's dying.Copy !req
644. He's refusing to go to the hospital.
What he needs is spiritual guidance.Copy !req
645. And you're gonna give him that?Copy !req
646. No. God will.Copy !req
647. I see.Copy !req
648. My big brother did some
missionary work for New Life.Copy !req
649. Went to South America.Copy !req
650. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
651. I was the black sheep.Copy !req
652. I refused to go to church
ever since I was 12.Copy !req
653. Dad knew I was
a lost cause, but…Copy !req
654. not my brother,
he loved New Life.Copy !req
655. He wrote me a letter a
few months after he left,Copy !req
656. told me he was
tired, and lonely,Copy !req
657. but he didn't want to come home
because he didn't want to get married.Copy !req
658. He didn't want to get married?Copy !req
659. Dad had set it all up.Copy !req
660. Pushed him into getting marriedCopy !req
661. to this girl from the
church he barely knew.Copy !req
662. But when he came back,
he met someone else.Copy !req
663. Fell in love, started
a whole new life.Copy !req
664. And Dad kicked
him out of the church.Copy !req
665. And the family.Copy !req
666. I thought he was gonna be able
to get over all that religious stuff,Copy !req
667. but it was like a cancer.Copy !req
668. He couldn't shake it.Copy !req
669. He just caved in on himself,
stopped sleeping, stopped eating.Copy !req
670. Lost a ton of weight.Copy !req
671. One night, he doesn't come home.Copy !req
672. Couple weeks later, this guy
is out jogging on a bike pathCopy !req
673. near the river in Lewiston, sees
something washed up on shore,Copy !req
674. and that was Alan.Copy !req
675. The love of Charlie's
life, and my brother.Copy !req
676. - Oh.
- Yeah. "Oh."Copy !req
677. To this day, my
dad won't admit it.Copy !req
678. Told the whole congregation
Alan's death was…Copy !req
679. just an unfortunate accident.Copy !req
680. Denying him to the end.Copy !req
681. Look, I know that
you don't trust me.Copy !req
682. And I know that I haven't
known him for very long,Copy !req
683. but I really think that
God brought me here,Copy !req
684. right when Charlie
needs it the most.Copy !req
685. I just want him to
be saved, that's all—Copy !req
686. You listen to me!Copy !req
687. He doesn't need saving!Copy !req
688. In a few days, he's
probably going to be dead,Copy !req
689. so what he needs is for
you to leave him alone.Copy !req
690. I'm the only one
who can help him.Copy !req
691. - You understand me?
- Liz.Copy !req
692. You wanna watch some Maury?Copy !req
693. Sounds good, right?Copy !req
694. Actually, I got another night
shift tonight. I better, uh…Copy !req
695. You good for the night?Copy !req
696. I'll leave the remote here.Copy !req
697. Gambino's!Copy !req
698. Yeah. You can, uh…Copy !req
699. Money in the mailbox,
leave it on the bench.Copy !req
700. Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
701. I'm Dan.Copy !req
702. What?Copy !req
703. I just— My name, it's Dan.Copy !req
704. I've been coming
here for a while now.Copy !req
705. Just thought you'd
wanna know my name.Copy !req
706. Charlie.Copy !req
707. Hey, Charlie.Copy !req
708. Have a good night, okay?Copy !req
709. …it sure did. More Idaho Republicans
want to see Senator Ted CruzCopy !req
710. in the White House
than any other candidate.Copy !req
711. Cruz will split Idaho's 32
delegates with Donald Trump,Copy !req
712. the only other candidate
to clear that 20% threshold.Copy !req
713. It was a disappointing night
for Senator Marco RubioCopy !req
714. who failed to win any delegatesCopy !req
715. in the four states that
held primaries, while…Copy !req
716. "This apartment smells.Copy !req
717. This notebook is
retarded. I hate everyone."Copy !req
718. This apartment smells.Copy !req
719. This notebook is retarded.Copy !req
720. I hate everyone.Copy !req
721. "And I felt saddest of allCopy !req
722. when I read the boring chaptersCopy !req
723. that were only
descriptions of whalesCopy !req
724. because I knewCopy !req
725. that the author was
just trying to save usCopy !req
726. from his own sad story,Copy !req
727. just for a little while."Copy !req
728. "This apartment smells.Copy !req
729. This apartment smells."Copy !req
730. "The author was just trying to
save us from his own sad story."Copy !req
731. "I hate everyone."Copy !req
732. "I hate everyone."Copy !req
733. Do you have it?Copy !req
734. It's almost done.Copy !req
735. You can wait
while I finish it up,Copy !req
736. print it out.Copy !req
737. Maybe while you're waiting, you
can write some more in your notebook.Copy !req
738. Oh, my God.Copy !req
739. You've only written a
couple sentences so far.Copy !req
740. - Can you write more?
- I kind of hate you.Copy !req
741. Yeah. Well, you hate everyone.Copy !req
742. Listen, just keep going.Copy !req
743. Forget about the poem.Copy !req
744. Write whatever you want,
whatever you're thinking.Copy !req
745. Okay. Be quiet, just…Copy !req
746. You know, I was in a
really strange place in my lifeCopy !req
747. - when I married your mom.
- Did I fucking ask?Copy !req
748. I just wish…Copy !req
749. I'm so… I'm sorry.Copy !req
750. I understand that you're angry.Copy !req
751. But…Copy !req
752. you don't have to be
angry at the whole world.Copy !req
753. You can just be angry at me.Copy !req
754. Okay, you know what?Copy !req
755. You can't throw me away
like a piece of garbage,Copy !req
756. and then suddenly just want
to be my dad eight years later.Copy !req
757. You left me for your boyfriend.Copy !req
758. It's that simple.Copy !req
759. And if you've been telling
yourself anything different,Copy !req
760. then you're lying to yourself.Copy !req
761. But you know
what? I'm glad. I'm—Copy !req
762. I'm glad, because you taught
me something very important.Copy !req
763. People are assholes.Copy !req
764. Most people learn
that way too late.Copy !req
765. You— You taught me
that when I was eight.Copy !req
766. Thank you for that.Copy !req
767. You know, you could've—Copy !req
768. What?Copy !req
769. You could've been
sending us money.Copy !req
770. If you had all that money saved up, and
wanted to be a part of my life so bad,Copy !req
771. - you could've been sending money to Mom.
- I did.Copy !req
772. Yeah, I mean more
than just child support.Copy !req
773. I did.Copy !req
774. When I left your mom, she
did not want me around you.Copy !req
775. I hoped that she would change
her mind eventually, but she…Copy !req
776. You could have just
fucking called me.Copy !req
777. All this time, you…Copy !req
778. You could have
been a part of my life.Copy !req
779. Ellie.Copy !req
780. Look at me.Copy !req
781. Who would want me
to be a part of their life?Copy !req
782. I'm hungry.Copy !req
783. There's some stuff for
sandwiches in the fridge.Copy !req
784. I'll make you one, but
it's going to be small.Copy !req
785. And I'm only using turkey,Copy !req
786. and no mayonnaise.Copy !req
787. - What?
- Nothing.Copy !req
788. You're an amazing person, Ellie.Copy !req
789. I hope you know what an
amazing person you are.Copy !req
790. I couldn't ask for a
more incredible daughter.Copy !req
791. I'll print that out for you now.Copy !req
792. Yeah?Copy !req
793. Uh… Hello?Copy !req
794. Hi.Copy !req
795. Come on.Copy !req
796. Is he… Is he okay?Copy !req
797. I don't know. I ground up some
Ambien and I put it in his sandwich.Copy !req
798. - What?
- I only gave him a couple. He's fine.Copy !req
799. - I can take, like, three at a time.
- Where did you get Ambien?Copy !req
800. I had sex with a pharmacist.Copy !req
801. I'm kidding. Gross. My
mom pops them like Tic Tacs.Copy !req
802. I don't know if he
should be taking Ambien.Copy !req
803. Does this make you
nervous? 'Cause it's just pot.Copy !req
804. It's not like I'm smoking
meth or anything.Copy !req
805. I know. I-I know
what pot is, okay?Copy !req
806. No. You only think
you know what pot isCopy !req
807. because your parents told
you a bunch of lies about it.Copy !req
808. Don't. I know what drugs
are. I've smoked pot before.Copy !req
809. - Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed.
- I wasn't trying to impress you.Copy !req
810. - You've not smoked pot before.
- Yes, I have. It…Copy !req
811. It was kind of a problem.Copy !req
812. That is the stupidest fucking thing
I've ever heard in my entire life.Copy !req
813. I was smoking every
day. I had a problem.Copy !req
814. You were a stoner.
You had a hobby.Copy !req
815. All right, I'm gonna go. Just
tell him I was here and I'll…Copy !req
816. If you leave, I'll feed him the
rest of the pills I have in the bottle.Copy !req
817. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
818. There's, like, 20,
30 more in here.Copy !req
819. I'll crush them up,Copy !req
820. I'll put them in some water,Copy !req
821. and I'll pour it
down his throat.Copy !req
822. You wouldn't actually
do that, would you?Copy !req
823. Sit down.Copy !req
824. So, why do you keep
coming back here?Copy !req
825. He needs help. He needs
God in his life right now.Copy !req
826. That's a stupid reason.Copy !req
827. Do you think he wants
to have sex with you?Copy !req
828. That is so gross, oh, my God.Copy !req
829. - Take a hit.
- I don't want—Copy !req
830. If you don't take a hit,
I'm gonna call the policeCopy !req
831. and I'm gonna tell them that
you tried to rape me. Take a hit.Copy !req
832. - I don't understand you at all.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
833. - Is there a carb on this?
- Ooh, I'm impressed.Copy !req
834. - I wasn't trying to impress you.
- There isn't a carb.Copy !req
835. Calm down.Copy !req
836. - What are you gonna do with that picture?
- I'm gonna masturbate to it.Copy !req
837. Is that what you want me to say?
You're a pervert. Take another hit.Copy !req
838. Look, I'm just fucking
with you, all right?Copy !req
839. I'm not gonna kill anyone,Copy !req
840. I'm not gonna tell anyone
that you tried to rape me.Copy !req
841. You're not going to give
him any more Ambien?Copy !req
842. No.Copy !req
843. Why do you keep
coming back here?Copy !req
844. I don't know.Copy !req
845. Seriously, if you hate
him so much, then why—Copy !req
846. I'm done answering
questions now.Copy !req
847. Can I take another hit?Copy !req
848. It goes against your religion,Copy !req
849. and that makes you a hypocrite.Copy !req
850. Go ahead.Copy !req
851. I really wish that
you wouldn't do that.Copy !req
852. Yeah, I know. I heard
you the first time.Copy !req
853. Do you find me attractive?Copy !req
854. Because I'm not attracted to
you at all, just to let you know.Copy !req
855. I'm not trying to be
mean or anything.Copy !req
856. I just don't think you're very
good-looking, or interesting.Copy !req
857. Or intelligent.Copy !req
858. Oh, my God, grow up. Maybe
someone else finds you attractive.Copy !req
859. - Maybe my dad finds you attractive.
- I really wish you—Copy !req
860. You know, it is so easy to
make you uncomfortable.Copy !req
861. It's honestly… It's a little
sad. You can cash that out.Copy !req
862. If my parents knew
I was getting high,Copy !req
863. getting high while out
witnessing for the church…Copy !req
864. You're not from New Life.Copy !req
865. What?Copy !req
866. There's a kid in the grade
below me who goes there.Copy !req
867. He told me that they stopped
doing door-to-door stuff last yearCopy !req
868. when some woman was
out preaching or whatever,Copy !req
869. and a guy answered the
door with no clothes on.Copy !req
870. - I gotta go.
- Who are you, really?Copy !req
871. Come on, just tell me!Copy !req
872. Why do you care?Copy !req
873. Because I think we have
a blossoming friendship.Copy !req
874. You're just messing with me.Copy !req
875. No, I'm not.Copy !req
876. You're not going to tell anyone?Copy !req
877. Who am I gonna tell?Copy !req
878. I was on a mission.Copy !req
879. With a group from my
church, back in Waterloo,Copy !req
880. my hometown in Iowa.Copy !req
881. When my dad caught me smoking pot, he
thought a mission would be a good idea.Copy !req
882. I mean, the truth is, he's
just embarrassed by meCopy !req
883. and wanted me gone for a while.Copy !req
884. Anyway, I just left.Copy !req
885. I couldn't do it anymore.Copy !req
886. Why?Copy !req
887. The mission leader,Copy !req
888. this guy, Jerry, all he had us
doing was standing on cornersCopy !req
889. and handing out pamphlets.Copy !req
890. The end of each
day, he'd be like,Copy !req
891. "Look how many people
we're helping," but…Copy !req
892. I tried to talk to him about
different ways we can minister.Copy !req
893. I mean, different ways that we
could actually help people. But…Copy !req
894. You could just tell that
he didn't need to earnCopy !req
895. or prove his faith at all.Copy !req
896. After a while, I was just
like, "Am I really helping?"Copy !req
897. No. You were not.Copy !req
898. Yeah, I started to
feel that way, too.Copy !req
899. I don't feel that way, I know
that you weren't helping people.Copy !req
900. It doesn't help people to tell them
that they should believe in God.Copy !req
901. Why would that help people?Copy !req
902. I just thought… I see
all my family, my friends,Copy !req
903. they're all just so happy.Copy !req
904. I just want to be like that.Copy !req
905. So, why'd you leave, then?Copy !req
906. I was worried I was
gonna get arrested.Copy !req
907. For smoking pot?Copy !req
908. For stealing from the mission.Copy !req
909. One day, I ditched the
pamphlets. I went door-to-door.Copy !req
910. I started actually
engaging with people.Copy !req
911. Finally. I mean, it felt like I was
doing something, helping someone.Copy !req
912. And that night, I went
back to the mission meeting,Copy !req
913. and I told everyone
what I did that day,Copy !req
914. and Jerry was like, "That's
not what we do, buddy."Copy !req
915. And I was like, "Well, why not?"Copy !req
916. And we got in this huge
argument in front of everyone, and…Copy !req
917. And that night, I
decided to leave.Copy !req
918. And when everyone
went to sleep, I…Copy !req
919. I took the petty cash.Copy !req
920. How much?Copy !req
921. $2,436.Copy !req
922. - Oh.
- Yeah. "Oh."Copy !req
923. I got on a bus.Copy !req
924. Jerry and my parents were
calling me over and over again.Copy !req
925. I just tossed my phone.Copy !req
926. After a while, I wound up here.Copy !req
927. I thought I could use this
money for my own mission.Copy !req
928. You know, see my faith
save just one person.Copy !req
929. But now I'm almost
out of money. I just…Copy !req
930. I can't go home, and…Copy !req
931. My parents probably
wanna disown me.Copy !req
932. I don't know what to do.Copy !req
933. You're more
interesting to me now.Copy !req
934. Thanks.Copy !req
935. So, that's why you
wanna save my dad.Copy !req
936. Mom?Copy !req
937. - Don't freak out.
- Shut up.Copy !req
938. You again?Copy !req
939. Charlie?Copy !req
940. Charlie?Copy !req
941. Charlie?Copy !req
942. Charlie.Copy !req
943. Not with the oxygen tank.Copy !req
944. I'll stand by the window.Copy !req
945. Ellie told you she
was coming over?Copy !req
946. No. I did. And just
in time, looks like.Copy !req
947. You having any more pain?Copy !req
948. How easy is it to move?Copy !req
949. Not very.Copy !req
950. Any confusion? Have
you felt disoriented,Copy !req
951. forgotten where you
are or what you're doing?Copy !req
952. - Am I okay?
- No, you're not okay.Copy !req
953. But as far as the
sleeping pills, you're fine.Copy !req
954. - I don't think she gave you much.
- Yeah, that's what I told you.Copy !req
955. You know, I was a very angry,
very stupid little girl once, too,Copy !req
956. but if you would've given
him any more pills than that—Copy !req
957. Yeah, but I didn't give
him more pills than that,Copy !req
958. - I gave him two pills.
- Ellie?Copy !req
959. How much money did he offer you?Copy !req
960. - All of it?
- How do you know about the money?Copy !req
961. You think I'm an idiot?Copy !req
962. You think I would believe
that you were coming over hereCopy !req
963. out of the kindness
of your heart?Copy !req
964. Charlie doesn't have any money.Copy !req
965. - She doesn't know?
- Mary.Copy !req
966. Where do you think all the money
from his teaching has been going?Copy !req
967. The account for Ellie?Copy !req
968. By now, it has to be huge.Copy !req
969. Over $100,000 at least, right?Copy !req
970. That's not true, is it?Copy !req
971. Charlie.Copy !req
972. We could have gotten
you anything you needed.Copy !req
973. Special beds, physical
therapists, fucking health insurance!Copy !req
974. Last winter, when my pickup broke
down and I had to walk through the snowCopy !req
975. - to get your groceries for you…
- I offered to get your truck fixed.Copy !req
976. Yeah, and I refused because
I thought you had $700Copy !req
977. - in your bank account.
- The money is for Ellie.Copy !req
978. It's always been for Ellie.Copy !req
979. If there was ever any kind of emergency,
I would have given you the money.Copy !req
980. Would you?Copy !req
981. Wait.Copy !req
982. Wait— Wait.Copy !req
983. - Mom, you're not getting any of my money.
- Oh, shut up, Ellie.Copy !req
984. Leave, right now.Copy !req
985. Wait. Ellie, I know you
didn't mean to hurt me.Copy !req
986. - I know that you didn't—
- Okay, you know what? Listen to me.Copy !req
987. Listen. I don't care about you!Copy !req
988. Get that through
your fucking skull.Copy !req
989. - Ellie, please.
- Just fucking die already!Copy !req
990. Enough!Copy !req
991. Ellie, your— your essay.Copy !req
992. So… It's…Copy !req
993. It's a really good essay!Copy !req
994. Jesus, Charlie.Copy !req
995. Do you have anything?Copy !req
996. It's above the sink, the
kitchen counter on the left.Copy !req
997. The other one. Yup.Copy !req
998. Our deal was to wait until she's out
of the house to give her the money.Copy !req
999. What's the difference?Copy !req
1000. The difference is she's
17 and still in high school.Copy !req
1001. She's gonna spend it on face
tattoos or ponies, or something.Copy !req
1002. I think that she's a
lot smarter than that.Copy !req
1003. So…Copy !req
1004. How's it been?Copy !req
1005. Getting to know her.Copy !req
1006. She's amazing.Copy !req
1007. You still do that.Copy !req
1008. What?Copy !req
1009. That positivity.Copy !req
1010. It's so annoying.Copy !req
1011. You're a complete cynic.Copy !req
1012. Just trying to balance us out.Copy !req
1013. Yeah. I guess I do miss that.Copy !req
1014. That one thing.Copy !req
1015. Just that?Copy !req
1016. That, and the cooking.Copy !req
1017. Last month,Copy !req
1018. - tried to make a stir-fry thing.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1019. Almost set the entire
apartment building on fire.Copy !req
1020. I never knew you were
doing this to yourself.Copy !req
1021. Well, you never
asked how I was doing.Copy !req
1022. You never asked
how I was doing either.Copy !req
1023. Every month, it's just,Copy !req
1024. "How much money do you
need?" or, "How's Ellie?"Copy !req
1025. You didn't tell me that
she's flunking out of school.Copy !req
1026. I guess I just didn't need the lecture
about my involvement in her education.Copy !req
1027. That is not what I…Copy !req
1028. How are you doing, Mary?Copy !req
1029. I know I'm not supposed
to be around her.Copy !req
1030. You could probably call
the police if you wanted to.Copy !req
1031. Oh, Christ. You
really think I'd do that?Copy !req
1032. You fought me pretty
hard for full custody.Copy !req
1033. And I don't blame you
for keeping her from me.Copy !req
1034. Charlie, need I remind
you that you left us.Copy !req
1035. - I know.
- And I was left raising our kidCopy !req
1036. and explaining to people that
my husband left me for a man.Copy !req
1037. But you didn't have to cut
me out of her life like that.Copy !req
1038. Oh, please.Copy !req
1039. You were more than happy
to forget about us for a while.Copy !req
1040. You know that.Copy !req
1041. I know I made a lot of mistakes.Copy !req
1042. But I just wanted
to see her, Mary.Copy !req
1043. I've always just… Just
wanted to see her.Copy !req
1044. It's all about you.Copy !req
1045. Even now, huh?Copy !req
1046. Now you know why
I kept you from her.Copy !req
1047. What?Copy !req
1048. She's awful. Isn't she?Copy !req
1049. She's a terror. And
you think it's my fault.Copy !req
1050. Wait, is that why you kept
her from me all this time?Copy !req
1051. Because you thought that I would
think that you're a bad mother?Copy !req
1052. At first.Copy !req
1053. But later, when she was 15, 16,Copy !req
1054. - I was worried she would hurt you.
- Hurt me?Copy !req
1055. It's ridiculous.Copy !req
1056. I don't take any pleasure in admitting
it. I'm her mother, for Christ's sake.Copy !req
1057. You know, I spent way too
much time telling myself, you know,Copy !req
1058. "She's just rebellious,
she's just difficult."Copy !req
1059. Charlie, she's evil.Copy !req
1060. She's not evil.Copy !req
1061. What are you doing?Copy !req
1062. You think it's just me?Copy !req
1063. "There'll be a grease fire in
hell when he starts to burn."Copy !req
1064. Don't feel bad.Copy !req
1065. I've made quite a few
appearances on that thing.Copy !req
1066. She's a strong writer.Copy !req
1067. - That's your response?
- This isn't evil.Copy !req
1068. This is honesty.Copy !req
1069. Do you know how much
bullshit I've read in my life?Copy !req
1070. My God, I don't
understand you, Charlie!Copy !req
1071. Every time I call and ask you how
she's doing, you say, "She's fine."Copy !req
1072. - If she's so evil, then—
- What was I supposed to tell you? Huh?Copy !req
1073. That she was off making her classmates
cry or slashing her teachers' tires?Copy !req
1074. - You didn't want to hear that stuff!
- I could have helped her!Copy !req
1075. She doesn't want your help!
She doesn't want anyone!Copy !req
1076. You think I didn't want
her to have a dad?Copy !req
1077. She adored you!Copy !req
1078. The only reason you
married me in the first placeCopy !req
1079. was to have a kid, I know that!Copy !req
1080. Mary, please!Copy !req
1081. Well, this brings back
memories, doesn't it?Copy !req
1082. Listen.Copy !req
1083. I never got to say
that I was sorry.Copy !req
1084. What would you have
to be sorry about?Copy !req
1085. That's not what I mean.Copy !req
1086. I mean…Copy !req
1087. About your friend.Copy !req
1088. Oh.Copy !req
1089. - His name was Alan.
- I know his fucking name, Charlie.Copy !req
1090. I saw him once,Copy !req
1091. in the Walmart parking lot.Copy !req
1092. He wasn't looking too good, and I
don't think it was long before he…Copy !req
1093. Anyway, I had all these things
that I… I wanted to say to him,Copy !req
1094. you know, hurl
at him like bricks.Copy !req
1095. But I…Copy !req
1096. I asked if he wanted some help.Copy !req
1097. He let me carry a
couple of bags to his car,Copy !req
1098. he said thank you,Copy !req
1099. and I left.Copy !req
1100. I never even told him who I was.Copy !req
1101. You're wheezing.Copy !req
1102. Yeah, it's gotten worse.Copy !req
1103. Should I call someone?Copy !req
1104. No. Um…Copy !req
1105. You'll let me hear?Copy !req
1106. How do I sound?Copy !req
1107. That was the first time
we've all been togetherCopy !req
1108. in almost nine years.
Do you realize that?Copy !req
1109. When Ellie was little,Copy !req
1110. when we took that trip to
the Oregon Coast together,Copy !req
1111. Ellie played in the sand, and…Copy !req
1112. …we laid out on the beach.Copy !req
1113. I went swimming in the ocean.Copy !req
1114. That was the last time I
ever went swimming, actually.Copy !req
1115. I kept cutting my
legs on the rocks.Copy !req
1116. The water was so cold.Copy !req
1117. And you were so
mad that my legs bledCopy !req
1118. and stained the
seats in the minivan.Copy !req
1119. And you said, for days after
that, I smelled like seawater.Copy !req
1120. You remember that?Copy !req
1121. You sound awful.Copy !req
1122. I'm dying, Mary.Copy !req
1123. Fuck you.Copy !req
1124. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1125. Fuck you.Copy !req
1126. For sure?Copy !req
1127. Yeah. For sure.Copy !req
1128. Listen to me.Copy !req
1129. I need to make certain
that she's going to be okay.Copy !req
1130. We can't give up on her.Copy !req
1131. You a ready gave up on her!Copy !req
1132. You gave up on her when
she was eight years old!Copy !req
1133. I wish I could have been
a part of her life, Mary,Copy !req
1134. a part of both of your lives.Copy !req
1135. Go to the hospital.Copy !req
1136. You have money,
just go to the hospital!Copy !req
1137. We both know that
that money is for Ellie.Copy !req
1138. But beyond that,Copy !req
1139. I need to know that she's
gonna have a decent life.Copy !req
1140. Where she cares about people
and other people care about her.Copy !req
1141. And she's gonna be okay.Copy !req
1142. - I need to go.
- Mary.Copy !req
1143. - She doesn't have anyone else!
- I have to go.Copy !req
1144. I need to know that I have
done one thing right with my life!Copy !req
1145. We both played our parts.Copy !req
1146. I raised her, and you're
giving her the money.Copy !req
1147. It's the best we could do.Copy !req
1148. Do you need anythingCopy !req
1149. before I leave?Copy !req
1150. Water, or something.Copy !req
1151. Gambino's!Copy !req
1152. Yeah.Copy !req
1153. Charlie?Copy !req
1154. You okay?Copy !req
1155. Yeah.Copy !req
1156. The money is in the, um…Copy !req
1157. Sure.Copy !req
1158. You sure you're doing okay?Copy !req
1159. Yeah. Thanks, Dan.Copy !req
1160. Have a good night, okay?Copy !req
1161. What…Copy !req
1162. Fuck these essays.Copy !req
1163. Fuck these readings.Copy !req
1164. Just write something
fucking honest.Copy !req
1165. Liz?Copy !req
1166. Can I come inside?Copy !req
1167. It's not locked.Copy !req
1168. - Hi.
- What's wrong?Copy !req
1169. - Thank you.
- For what?Copy !req
1170. Look, I'm not exactly who I
said I was. I'm not from New Life.Copy !req
1171. What? I— I don't…Copy !req
1172. I've been in a pretty
bad place recently.Copy !req
1173. I… I stole some money, and I ran
away from home a few months ago.Copy !req
1174. And your daughter, she took
these pictures of me smoking pot,Copy !req
1175. and a recording or
something like that,Copy !req
1176. and she found my church
in Waterloo somehow,Copy !req
1177. and then she sent it to them,
and they sent it to my parents…Copy !req
1178. - Wait.
- …and you know what they said?Copy !req
1179. "It's just money."Copy !req
1180. And they forgive me.Copy !req
1181. And they love me, and
they want me to come home.Copy !req
1182. How awful is that?Copy !req
1183. Ellie, she… She did all that?Copy !req
1184. I can't tell if she was trying
to help me or hurt me, or…Copy !req
1185. Do you ever get
that feeling from her?Copy !req
1186. How did she even— She…Copy !req
1187. She found your church, she
tracked down your parents.Copy !req
1188. She really did all that?Copy !req
1189. Yeah. I mean, I'm
going home tomorrow.Copy !req
1190. But, Charlie, before I go,
I have to show you this.Copy !req
1191. What— what's wrong?Copy !req
1192. Wait, are you okay?Copy !req
1193. It just hurts.Copy !req
1194. Charlie, I want to help
you. I know I can help you.Copy !req
1195. I'm not going to the hospital.Copy !req
1196. No, I know. I'm not gonna
make you go. But I can help you.Copy !req
1197. - "Therefore, brothers and sisters…
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1198. …we have an obligation,Copy !req
1199. but it is not to the flesh,
to live according to it.Copy !req
1200. For if you live according
to the flesh, you will die.Copy !req
1201. But if by the Spirit you put to
death the misdeeds of the body,Copy !req
1202. - then you will live."
- I— I don't understand.Copy !req
1203. Charlie, when I read
this, I finally got it.Copy !req
1204. I finally understood why
God brought me here to you.Copy !req
1205. So I could help you understand
what happened to Alan,Copy !req
1206. so it doesn't
happen to you, too.Copy !req
1207. How did you get this?Copy !req
1208. Charlie, Alan tried
to escape God's will.Copy !req
1209. He chose his life
with you over God.Copy !req
1210. But this is why he was so
obsessed with this verse.Copy !req
1211. He knew that he was living in
the flesh, and not in the Spirit.Copy !req
1212. He never prayed for salvation,
but it's not too late for you.Copy !req
1213. Through the Spirit, you can put
to death the misdeeds of the body,Copy !req
1214. and you will live.Copy !req
1215. You think Alan died because
he chose to be with me?Copy !req
1216. You think God turned his back on
him because he and I were in love?Copy !req
1217. Yes.Copy !req
1218. You know something?
I wasn't always this big.Copy !req
1219. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1220. I mean, I wasn't the
best-looking guy in the room, but…Copy !req
1221. Alan loved me.Copy !req
1222. He thought I was beautiful.Copy !req
1223. Okay.Copy !req
1224. Halfway through the semester,Copy !req
1225. he started meeting me
during my office hours.Copy !req
1226. And we were… We were
crazy about one another.Copy !req
1227. But we waitedCopy !req
1228. until the class was over before…Copy !req
1229. This isn't, uh…Copy !req
1230. It was just after classes
had ended for the year.Copy !req
1231. It was perfect
temperature outside.Copy !req
1232. We took a walk in the arboretum,Copy !req
1233. - and we kissed.
- Charlie, stop.Copy !req
1234. We would spend entire
nights lying together, naked.Copy !req
1235. We would make love.Copy !req
1236. We would make love.Copy !req
1237. Do you find that disgusting?Copy !req
1238. Charlie, God is
ready to help you.Copy !req
1239. Oh, I hope that
there isn't a God,Copy !req
1240. because I hate to think
that there's an afterlife,Copy !req
1241. and that Alan can see
what I have done to myself.Copy !req
1242. - Charlie…
- That he can see my swollen feetCopy !req
1243. and the sores on my skin,Copy !req
1244. and the patches of
mold in between the flaps.Copy !req
1245. - Stop.
- The infected ulcers on my ass,Copy !req
1246. and the sack of fat on my
back that turned brown last year.Copy !req
1247. - Okay, stop!
- This is disgusting?Copy !req
1248. - Yes!
- I'm disgusting?Copy !req
1249. Yes, you're
disgustingl. You're—Copy !req
1250. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1251. What?Copy !req
1252. Go home to your family.Copy !req
1253. Well, your complaints
have been heard.Copy !req
1254. I've been replaced by
someone who will, no doubt,Copy !req
1255. have you rewrite, and
rewrite, and rewrite,Copy !req
1256. be more objective,Copy !req
1257. less authentic, less
you, with every draft.Copy !req
1258. But some of you saw my postCopy !req
1259. about writing something honest.Copy !req
1260. And…Copy !req
1261. …the things that
some of you wrote…Copy !req
1262. Kristy, you wrote,Copy !req
1263. "My parents want
me to be a radiologist,Copy !req
1264. but I don't even
know what that is."Copy !req
1265. Julian, you wrote,Copy !req
1266. "I'm sick of people telling
me that I have promise."Copy !req
1267. Adam, you wrote,Copy !req
1268. "I think I need to accept that my
life isn't going to be very exciting."Copy !req
1269. You all wrote these
amazing, honest things, and…Copy !req
1270. you've been so honest
with me that I— I…Copy !req
1271. I just want to beCopy !req
1272. honest with you, too.Copy !req
1273. These assignments don't matter.Copy !req
1274. This course doesn't matter.Copy !req
1275. College doesn't matter.Copy !req
1276. These amazing, honest
things that you wrote…Copy !req
1277. they matter.Copy !req
1278. - I'm sorry.
- Don't.Copy !req
1279. I really hate you for putting me
through this again, you know that?Copy !req
1280. Those last few
months before Alan…Copy !req
1281. I'd come over here,
shake him, scream at him,Copy !req
1282. just trying to get him to
fucking eat something.Copy !req
1283. - God, that was awful!
- It was awful for me, too.Copy !req
1284. Yeah? Well, you weren't the
one who had to identify his body,Copy !req
1285. - all bloated—
- They wouldn't let me.Copy !req
1286. I wasn't family.Copy !req
1287. I got you two meatball
subs. Extra cheese.Copy !req
1288. I don't know what I'm doing.Copy !req
1289. I'm not going to the hospital.Copy !req
1290. I'm not asking you to.Copy !req
1291. I can't do this anymore.Copy !req
1292. I tried to save him, Liz.Copy !req
1293. I thought that if
I just loved him,Copy !req
1294. that he wouldn't
need anyone else.Copy !req
1295. I told him he didn't need God,Copy !req
1296. he didn't need anyone but me.Copy !req
1297. Charlie,Copy !req
1298. all I know is that you gave
Alan the best years of his life.Copy !req
1299. If it weren't for you, he would have
jumped off that bridge years earlier.Copy !req
1300. Nobody could've saved him.
Believe me, I spent years trying.Copy !req
1301. I don't think I believe
anyone can save anyone.Copy !req
1302. She saved him.Copy !req
1303. She wasn't trying to hurt him.
She was trying to help him.Copy !req
1304. Who are you talking about?Copy !req
1305. He's going home. She did that.Copy !req
1306. - Charlie…
- She didn't do it to hurt him,Copy !req
1307. she did it to send him home.Copy !req
1308. Do you feel light-headed?
Charlie, look at me.Copy !req
1309. - She was trying to help him.
- Who?Copy !req
1310. Ellie. She was
trying to help him.Copy !req
1311. She just wanted
to send him home.Copy !req
1312. Do you ever get
the feeling that…Copy !req
1313. people are incapable
of not caring?Copy !req
1314. People are amazing.Copy !req
1315. What the fuck did you do?Copy !req
1316. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
1317. He's dying.Copy !req
1318. So, call someone.Copy !req
1319. - No.
- Call a fucking ambulance!Copy !req
1320. Liz.Copy !req
1321. - I need to talk to him.
- I'm not leaving you alone with him.Copy !req
1322. I need to talk to him alone.Copy !req
1323. Liz.Copy !req
1324. Please.Copy !req
1325. Okay.Copy !req
1326. I'll call someone.Copy !req
1327. Charlie.Copy !req
1328. I'll wait downstairs.Copy !req
1329. - Why'd you do that?
- What?Copy !req
1330. I failed.Copy !req
1331. It's a really good essay.Copy !req
1332. Are you just trying to
screw me over one last time?Copy !req
1333. I don't care about you! I
don't care that you're dying.Copy !req
1334. Do you want me to
fail out of high school?Copy !req
1335. - Is that why you did this?
- I didn't write it.Copy !req
1336. This is the essay that
you gave me yesterday.Copy !req
1337. - You didn't read it.
- I don't need to read it.Copy !req
1338. Read it.Copy !req
1339. This is…Copy !req
1340. I know what this is.Copy !req
1341. I knew you would.Copy !req
1342. I wrote this.Copy !req
1343. You never forget anything.Copy !req
1344. I wrote this in eighth grade
for English. Why do you…Copy !req
1345. "And I felt saddest of allCopy !req
1346. when I read the boring chaptersCopy !req
1347. that were only
descriptions of whales,Copy !req
1348. because I knew thatCopy !req
1349. the author was
just trying to save usCopy !req
1350. from his own sad story,Copy !req
1351. just for a little while."Copy !req
1352. - How do you have this?
- Your mother,Copy !req
1353. she sent it to me
four years ago.Copy !req
1354. I wanted to know how
you were doing in school,Copy !req
1355. and she sent it.Copy !req
1356. And it's the best
essay I've ever read.Copy !req
1357. Why are you fucking
with me like this?Copy !req
1358. I'm not.Copy !req
1359. I'm sorry for leaving you.Copy !req
1360. I was in love, and…Copy !req
1361. I left you behind.Copy !req
1362. - You did not deserve that.
- I don't…Copy !req
1363. I don't know howCopy !req
1364. I could have done such a thing.Copy !req
1365. You're so beautiful.Copy !req
1366. - You're amazing.
- Stop.Copy !req
1367. You're amazing.Copy !req
1368. This essay is amazing.Copy !req
1369. This essay is you.Copy !req
1370. Stop saying that.Copy !req
1371. - This essay is you.
- Stop saying that!Copy !req
1372. You're the best thing
I have ever done.Copy !req
1373. What's the matter?Copy !req
1374. Ellie!Copy !req
1375. No. Okay, I can't
be here right now.Copy !req
1376. - I have to go.
- You're perfect.Copy !req
1377. You'll be happy.Copy !req
1378. You care about people.Copy !req
1379. The ambulance is
coming, they'll help you.Copy !req
1380. No. They won't.Copy !req
1381. - You're going to the hospital.
- No.Copy !req
1382. You just need
surgery, or something!Copy !req
1383. - Read it to me.
- What?Copy !req
1384. If you want to
help, read it to me.Copy !req
1385. You'll help if you read it.Copy !req
1386. You asshole. You
fat fucking asshole!Copy !req
1387. - You'll help…
- Fuck you.Copy !req
1388. - Please.
- Fuck you!Copy !req
1389. Ellie!Copy !req
1390. Daddy, please.Copy !req
1391. "In the amazing book, Moby
Dick, by the author Herman Melville,Copy !req
1392. the author recounts
his story of being at sea.Copy !req
1393. In the first part of his book, the
author, calling himself Ishmael,Copy !req
1394. is in a small seaside townCopy !req
1395. and he is sharing a bed
with a man named Queequeg.Copy !req
1396. The author and
Queequeg go to churchCopy !req
1397. and later set out on a ship
captained by a pirate named Ahab,Copy !req
1398. who is missing a leg,Copy !req
1399. and very much
wants to kill the whaleCopy !req
1400. which is named Moby
Dick, and which is white.Copy !req
1401. In the course of the book, the pirate
Ahab encounters many hardships.Copy !req
1402. His entire life is set around
trying to kill a certain whale.Copy !req
1403. I think this is sad because this
whale doesn't have any emotions,Copy !req
1404. and doesn't know how
bad Ahab wants to kill him.Copy !req
1405. He's just a poorCopy !req
1406. big animal."Copy !req
1407. "And I feel bad
for Ahab as well,Copy !req
1408. because he thinks
that his life will be betterCopy !req
1409. if he can just kill this whale,Copy !req
1410. but in reality, it
won't help him at all."Copy !req
1411. "I was very
saddened by this book,Copy !req
1412. and I felt many emotions
for the characters.Copy !req
1413. And I felt saddest of all when
I read the boring chaptersCopy !req
1414. that were only
descriptions of whales,Copy !req
1415. because I knew that the
author was just trying to save usCopy !req
1416. from his own sad story,Copy !req
1417. just for a little while."Copy !req
1418. "This book made me
think about my own life,Copy !req
1419. and then it made
me feel glad for my…"Copy !req