1. I'm in.
We're on site.Copy !req
2. Affirmative, Pony Boy.Copy !req
3. We've got a lock on the target's cellphoneCopy !req
4. twenty meters northwest of you.Copy !req
5. I don't like it.Copy !req
6. He's been a ghost for three days,Copy !req
7. and suddenly we get a ping?Copy !req
8. Maybe he couldn't find his charger.Copy !req
9. Alright, team.
Eyes open!Copy !req
10. This could be a trap.Copy !req
11. Why do they always have to be pre-dawn,
these raids?Copy !req
12. I mean,
what's wrong with a nice pre-noon raid?Copy !req
13. Like a brunch raid?Copy !req
14. Oh, no.Copy !req
15. Hank?Copy !req
16. Buddy?Copy !req
17. The hell you people doin'?
Tryin' ta sleep!Copy !req
18. Negative.
It's not him.Copy !req
19. It ain't Hank.Copy !req
20. It's not him.
It's not him.Copy !req
21. Told you this was a waste of time.Copy !req
22. What would Hank be doing in Queens anyway?Copy !req
23. Nobody goes to Queens.Copy !req
24. I...
I live in Queens.Copy !req
25. My point exactly.Copy !req
26. Cut the chatter, you two!Copy !req
27. Yeah, dad!Copy !req
28. Shush me.Copy !req
29. Give.
That's mine!Copy !req
30. Where'd you get this?Copy !req
31. B... Batman gave it to me!
Give it!Copy !req
32. Where is he?
Where is Hank Ven...Copy !req
33. Samson!
Something big just went kablooey five blocks south.Copy !req
34. Heat signature's off the charts.Copy !req
35. Pull your team and check it out!Copy !req
36. Alright, you heard the man!Copy !req
37. Let's pull out, people!
Move, move!Copy !req
38. Where are they going?
W... What about Hank?Copy !req
39. Can't believe I got up early for this.Copy !req
40. — Subs ripped by WINX —
— Subs corrected and adjusted by darthfrede —Copy !req
41. No!
Absolutely not!Copy !req
42. You people broke into my home, kidnapped me,Copy !req
43. dragged me to your Honeycomb Hideout.Copy !req
44. And now you want, what?
My blood?Copy !req
45. It's just a little cheek swab.Copy !req
46. Two seconds and I'll be outta your...Copy !req
47. b...
business.Copy !req
48. Well, you're not getting a swab,Copy !req
49. so I guess our business is done here.Copy !req
50. Now if you'll excuse me,
I've a very important productCopy !req
51. launch to prepare for, and my morning'sCopy !req
52. already been shot to hell.Copy !req
53. Don't you understand?Copy !req
54. We need to determine conclusively
whether you and The Monarch are related.Copy !req
55. What?
Are you making your Christmas card list?Copy !req
56. Why should I care if your husbandCopy !req
57. is some fifth cousin thrice removed?Copy !req
58. This is a Guild matter, I'm not here asCopy !req
59. The Monarch's wife.Copy !req
60. That much is obvious.Copy !req
61. I don't see a wedding ring.Copy !req
62. I'm wearing gloves.Copy !req
63. I think I know what this is really about.Copy !req
64. You and I have had
a certain unspoken sexual tensionCopy !req
65. between us for years.Copy !req
66. - Meow.
- No!Copy !req
67. And this is where you play your part,Copy !req
68. by denying it, because you must.Copy !req
69. You're a married woman.Copy !req
70. So you come here, wishing on a swabCopy !req
71. to find some tiny speck of magicCopy !req
72. Rusty dust
deep inside that husband of yours.Copy !req
73. I can see by the look on your face
I've struck a nerve.Copy !req
74. What was that?Copy !req
75. They're calling it off!Copy !req
76. They're calling off the search for Hank!Copy !req
77. "O.S.I."
Office of... Stupid...Copy !req
78. - Idiots!
- Daddy's working, Dean.Copy !req
79. Daddy's receptionist
should've told you that.Copy !req
80. Well, I can see you're very busy,
Dr. Venture,Copy !req
81. and I'm not getting anywhere with you,Copy !req
82. so I won't take up any more of your time.Copy !req
83. They said they "don't have the resources"Copy !req
84. to keep looking for himCopy !req
85. 'cuz some frog guy blew up or something.Copy !req
86. Plus, he isn't really "missing"Copy !req
87. because he left on his own recong...
reco... recka...Copy !req
88. Recognizance.Copy !req
89. Well, they have a point...Copy !req
90. Wh...?
Didn't I have a coffee?Copy !req
91. I have to find him!Copy !req
92. We have to find him!Copy !req
93. He could be laying
dead in a ditch somewhere!Copy !req
94. Not a lot of ditches in New York, son.Copy !req
95. - Dead in a gutter, maybe.
- Pop!Copy !req
96. Why aren't you more worried about Hank?Copy !req
97. Because he's Hank.Copy !req
98. He does this.Copy !req
99. He runs off and does crazy thingsCopy !req
100. and then he comes back home again.Copy !req
101. Remember when he tried to run away
to the North PoleCopy !req
102. because Santa didn't get him a go-kart?Copy !req
103. He was gone for three whole days,Copy !req
104. until Brock finally found him in a...Copy !req
105. Wait,
he actually was dead in a ditch that time.Copy !req
106. Anyway, right now,Copy !req
107. the best thing you can do for Hank is to goCopy !req
108. back to school and live your life.Copy !req
109. How will that help?Copy !req
110. Because that school is costing me a fortune.Copy !req
111. Pop, unbelievable!Copy !req
112. Doc, we've got a huge problem
with the new product!Copy !req
113. Do I even have a receptionist?Copy !req
114. Hey, honey.Copy !req
115. Get in the car.Copy !req
116. You, too, Gary.Copy !req
117. What are you trying to prove?Copy !req
118. Exactly what I'd ask you!Copy !req
119. What are you trying to prove?Copy !req
120. The answer better be that
Dr. Venture isn't related to me!Copy !req
121. I just collected better DNA
and we'll run proper tests,Copy !req
122. then the Guild will redefine your status.Copy !req
123. I have been jerked around for years
by your Guild.Copy !req
124. They made me a Level Ten!Copy !req
125. Now I'm supposed to sit around and wait...
again!Copy !req
126. There are very specific rules.Copy !req
127. No arching Venture
till we define his relation to you.Copy !req
128. I'm sorry.Copy !req
129. You really don't get this.Copy !req
130. Get what?Copy !req
131. I am a super villain that hates Dr. Venture.Copy !req
132. That is the way it is, has been,
and will always be.Copy !req
133. That's what I do!Copy !req
134. Ever since you became
a Councilwoman for the Guild,Copy !req
135. I've been unable to be...
to be me!Copy !req
136. I know.
I swear I do.Copy !req
137. But you have to just hang on
a little longer.Copy !req
138. - Hold on.
- You said that years ago.Copy !req
139. Yes?Copy !req
140. Of course I'm sitting down.
Who stands up in a limo?Copy !req
141. No! Are you ser...
When?Copy !req
142. Call an Emergency session
of the Council of Thirteen!Copy !req
143. I'll be right there!Copy !req
144. Driver, pull over.Copy !req
145. What is this?
What's happening?Copy !req
146. I'm sorry, sweetie.Copy !req
147. I have work in the city,
so you're gonna need to take the PATH Train.Copy !req
148. Unreal!Copy !req
149. Just...
unreal.Copy !req
150. Thank you for the ride, Mrs. Monarch.Copy !req
151. Oh, God.
Has it become sentient?Copy !req
152. No, no, that's not...Copy !req
153. And my father's brain
isn't trapped inside of it?Copy !req
154. What?
No.Copy !req
155. Well then, what's the big problem?Copy !req
156. White, a demonstration?Copy !req
157. Hey, Helper...
Turn it up.Copy !req
158. Well, it sounds great.Copy !req
159. Glad I insisted on upgradingCopy !req
160. the superconductors in those speakers.Copy !req
161. Wait.Copy !req
162. Alright.Copy !req
163. Nothing a few stick'ems can't solve.Copy !req
164. When did we add that?Copy !req
165. We didn't, Rust!
That's the problem!Copy !req
166. We need to stop the launch,
open this thing up,Copy !req
167. re-tool it, and fix whatever the bug is...Copy !req
168. For the love of Benji!
This is what you're panicking about?Copy !req
169. This is a feature, not a bug.Copy !req
170. Levitating personal assistant!Copy !req
171. Who else is doing this?Copy !req
172. Hey, Helper...
Stop the music.Copy !req
173. - Son of a...
- That could've been a baby's head.Copy !req
174. Now do you get it?Copy !req
175. Well, we can't stop the launch!Copy !req
176. Look around you!Copy !req
177. We've got thousands of these things
ready to ship.Copy !req
178. The fate of the company is literally ridingCopy !req
179. on this product!Copy !req
180. Yeah, about that, Doc.Copy !req
181. Since ye insisted
on all them modifications...Copy !req
182. - ... to the original design...
- Improvements.Copy !req
183. the bleedin' things
cost more to manufactureCopy !req
184. than we was gonna sell 'em fer!Copy !req
185. VenTech'll actually lose money
on every unit she sell!Copy !req
186. So, basically you Blue Monday-ed it.Copy !req
187. You knows I hates ta say it,
I been with this companyCopy !req
188. since she first set sail,Copy !req
189. but it might be time to consider
filin' fer...Copy !req
190. Don't even!
I am not bankrupt.Copy !req
191. Here's what I am going to do...Copy !req
192. You're gonna jack up the price
and change all the advertising.Copy !req
193. And you two are gonna figure out how to...Copy !req
194. not crush babies or whatever.Copy !req
195. We're launching tomorrow, gentlemen!Copy !req
196. Get to work!Copy !req
197. Stop it!
They're not replacing you.Copy !req
198. No, no, no, it's an homage!
Helper!Copy !req
199. Hey, c'mon.Copy !req
200. You owe me $2.75.Copy !req
201. Dude...Copy !req
202. Villain!Copy !req
203. Stop pointing.Copy !req
204. So what, who cares?Copy !req
205. She's in colors!
Let's go talk to her.Copy !req
206. No, just come on, just leave it.Copy !req
207. I've never seen her before,
and she's blazing colors.Copy !req
208. I'm gonna talk to her!Copy !req
209. No, just w...
There he goes.Copy !req
210. Colors!Copy !req
211. "Hi, you're dressed like me,
will you be my friend?"Copy !req
212. "Well, of course I will,
because we have so much in common."Copy !req
213. "Do you like food?"
"I love food."Copy !req
214. "Really, me too.
Do you like sleep and shelter?"Copy !req
215. "This is amazing,
it's like you can read my mind."Copy !req
216. You're kidding me?
How did he get her number?Copy !req
217. A thumbs up.
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
218. H...
Hi, thank you for dragging me in...Copy !req
219. Oh, my God!
Debbie?Copy !req
220. Call me!Copy !req
221. Did you see that?
That was awesome!Copy !req
222. Never saw that coming.Copy !req
223. Hey, hey, here's crazy...
That was my ex.Copy !req
224. Look at that hole.
No debris.Copy !req
225. Mapped trajectory heat laser.Copy !req
226. That's state of the art shit right there.Copy !req
227. How did she get that?
The Guild doesn't have that.Copy !req
228. The Guild has a giant boxing gloveCopy !req
229. on the end of a big rusty spring.Copy !req
230. Well, Mantilla's not Guild!Copy !req
231. She's from ARCH.
She gave me her card.Copy !req
232. And she knew who you were, which was weird.Copy !req
233. Dude, not weird!Copy !req
234. For one, I am the Mighty Monarch.Copy !req
235. And for two, that's my ex!Copy !req
236. That was your ex?
You dated Mantilla?Copy !req
237. Yes!
She wasn't Mantilla then.Copy !req
238. You should've asked her for a rideCopy !req
239. because there's no way
a train's coming after all that.Copy !req
240. There were casualties.Copy !req
241. Is it me or is every new show
about super heroes?Copy !req
242. I can't keep up!Copy !req
243. It's like a job
trying to follow this nonsense.Copy !req
244. "Inhumans"?Copy !req
245. Did I have to watch fake X-Men on the moonCopy !req
246. to understand the movies?Copy !req
247. Gentlemen, this isn't a TV show.Copy !req
248. This just happened.Copy !req
249. This is a real, unlicensed arching.Copy !req
250. And does anyone recognize
the primary antagonist?Copy !req
251. He's not one of ours.Copy !req
252. I don't recognize him.Copy !req
253. Well, how about now?Copy !req
254. You mean to tell me
that extra-cool lizard guyCopy !req
255. and H.R. Pufnstuf there
are the same antagonist?Copy !req
256. This is Brickfrog.Copy !req
257. EMA Level One,
powers include holding a brick and shouting his name.Copy !req
258. Pays his dues, keeps low.Copy !req
259. Then last week he suddenly quits
with a note stating...Copy !req
260. "Later losers," signed Brick Frog...Copy !req
261. with like ten exclamation points.Copy !req
262. Right...
"Brickfrog"!Copy !req
263. - Brickfrog!
- Yes, yes, Brickfrog!Copy !req
264. - Brickfrog!
- Brickfrog!Copy !req
265. He was jovial chap.Copy !req
266. Okay, fine!
So what?Copy !req
267. Someone had a rich aunt die
and went out on their own.Copy !req
268. How does this warrant
an emergency Council Meeting?Copy !req
269. This isn't an isolated case!Copy !req
270. In the past week,
we've received several of these notices.Copy !req
271. Yes, Red Mantle?Copy !req
272. I need answers to this age old question.Copy !req
273. How many is several?Copy !req
274. "A few" is not unlike "some."Copy !req
275. While "several" is more than "a couple,"Copy !req
276. but less than "many."Copy !req
277. Wait.
How many is "many"?Copy !req
278. This is a threat against
our very foundation.Copy !req
279. This body has guided organized villainy
for a century,Copy !req
280. and we must protect our collectiveCopy !req
281. from this clear commination!Copy !req
282. Great.
What does commination mean?Copy !req
283. Oh, my God!Copy !req
284. Commination means threat,Copy !req
285. several means about four,
and I agree with Red Death.Copy !req
286. Then you shall head up the subcommitteeCopy !req
287. to investigate this alleged commination.Copy !req
288. Come now...Copy !req
289. You just learned that word when we did.Copy !req
290. Hello?Copy !req
291. Hello?Copy !req
292. Dr. Orpheus?Copy !req
293. Anybody?Copy !req
294. Oh, my God!Copy !req
295. Greetings, Dean Venture!Copy !req
296. Mind not the Golem.
He...Copy !req
297. He...
He came with the place.Copy !req
298. He's made outta pants!Copy !req
299. Schmatte Golem!
Wouldja believe?Copy !req
300. Found him in the attic.Copy !req
301. Then Al was all...
"Hey, I know a little Hebrew."Copy !req
302. Hey, I am a little Hebrew!Copy !req
303. Easy, boy!Copy !req
304. - Easy!
- Next thing you know... Walkin' pants monster.Copy !req
305. No, that's not gonna work!Copy !req
306. Come, young Dean, and pardon the mess.Copy !req
307. - We are still moving in.
- What's a shem?Copy !req
308. Wow, looks like you've already finished.Copy !req
309. Merely an illusion of
the well-appointed study yet to be.Copy !req
310. The chair is real, however.Copy !req
311. So, you have come
to seek my aid in locating your brother.Copy !req
312. Yes!
How did you know that?Copy !req
313. You know...
"Magic Guy."Copy !req
314. Thank God.
I just knew you could help me.Copy !req
315. H... Here.
This belonged to Hank.Copy !req
316. That...
That is how this works, right?Copy !req
317. You are confusing me with a bloodhound.Copy !req
318. And quite unnecessarily so,Copy !req
319. for I already know where Hank is.Copy !req
320. - You do?
- Of course.Copy !req
321. He's right here.Copy !req
322. Come on!
What're you, E.T.?Copy !req
323. Mistake not my words for mawkishCopy !req
324. Spielbergian sentiment!Copy !req
325. You carry Hank within your heart,Copy !req
326. yet it is far heavier than his 160 pounds.Copy !req
327. What are you hiding?Copy !req
328. Wha...?
N... Nothing.Copy !req
329. This is news I can use.Copy !req
330. But no!
Hey, hey, that's personal.Copy !req
331. Precisely!
Your remorse is a direct conduit to your brother.Copy !req
332. I shall ride this info-emotional superhighway
to his whereabouts!Copy !req
333. Oh, dear.Copy !req
334. The horror!Copy !req
335. I have seen him!Copy !req
336. Hank?
You saw him? Where?Copy !req
337. The images were... distorted.
Fleeting.Copy !req
338. Past, present and yet-to-be,
all swirling together!Copy !req
339. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, but where?Copy !req
340. He is oscillating between worlds.Copy !req
341. Betwixt selves.Copy !req
342. I fear his very soul may be in peril!Copy !req
343. We must go to him at once!Copy !req
344. Jefferson!Copy !req
345. We found the off button!Copy !req
346. Super.
Jefferson?Copy !req
347. May we borrow your vehicle?Copy !req
348. Nah-ah.
Nobody drives the Blood Vessel but me!Copy !req
349. - Dr. Orpheus. Dr. Orpheus.
- I see.Copy !req
350. - Are you busy this evening?
- Dr. Orpheus!Copy !req
351. Where is Hank?Copy !req
352. Where am I?Copy !req
353. Neither here nor there.Copy !req
354. The real question is...
Who am I?Copy !req
355. A week ago, I was just a happy-go-Hanky kidCopy !req
356. living the high life,
with a girlfriend and everything.Copy !req
357. Then a blizzard of betrayal
blew through my worldCopy !req
358. and knocked me flat on my heiney.Copy !req
359. Metaphorically.Copy !req
360. I woke up with a sore head
and a busted heart.Copy !req
361. I just had to get out of there,Copy !req
362. but I had no life to go back to.Copy !req
363. The old Hank was dead.Copy !req
364. Something else was driving me now.Copy !req
365. I knew they'd come looking for me.Copy !req
366. And how could I find myself
if someone else found me first?Copy !req
367. I had to shed my skin,
slough off all the old Hank.Copy !req
368. And old Hank's stuff.Copy !req
369. T...
Take it all, I don't care anymore.Copy !req
370. I'm going off the grid!Copy !req
371. Yeah,
I'm takin' a break from social media myself.Copy !req
372. Godspeed, Batman.Copy !req
373. I hopped the first tramp steamer
headed out of town.Copy !req
374. I didn't know where it would take me...
Zanzibar?Copy !req
375. The South China seas?
Disko Island?Copy !req
376. That's a real place.
Did you know that?Copy !req
377. Welcome aboard, everyone!Copy !req
378. I'm Carter, and for the next three hours,Copy !req
379. it's my absolute pleasure to show youCopy !req
380. all the sights of New York City by water.Copy !req
381. My life just seemed to keep
going around in circles.Copy !req
382. But it did give me time to think...Copy !req
383. Why does this keep happening to me?Copy !req
384. Why do I lose all the women in my life?Copy !req
385. Why...Copy !req
386. No!
Don't think about her!Copy !req
387. Stick to the mission!Copy !req
388. The train, then!
Yeah, those go in a straight line.Copy !req
389. I'll ride the rails, hobo-style!Copy !req
390. Roughing it!Copy !req
391. This was the way to truly find myself.Copy !req
392. Stripped of everything.
Surviving on my wits alone.Copy !req
393. See what I'm really made of.Copy !req
394. And then I remembered...
I'm, like, totally rich.Copy !req
395. I mean, Bruce Wayne is rich.Copy !req
396. The Shadow is rich. James Bond is...
Wait, is he rich?Copy !req
397. I dunno.
He gets to have nice things, anyway.Copy !req
398. Whenever you're ready, sir.Copy !req
399. I'll take care of that right now,
my good man.Copy !req
400. Anyway, Pop always says,
"If you lost something,Copy !req
401. look in the last place you had it."Copy !req
402. Well, I lost myself,
so I'm headed to the last placeCopy !req
403. I had...
me.Copy !req
404. Before New York, before the penthouse,
before...Copy !req
405. W...
Why?Copy !req
406. You should look up alla you old-a flames
while you're in-a town.Copy !req
407. Ask a them why they leave Hank.Copy !req
408. Like-a John Cusack
in-sa the "High Fidelity"?Copy !req
409. Or like Zoe Kravitzes...Copy !req
410. in ze "High Fidelities."Copy !req
411. You're asking the wrong questions, boychik.Copy !req
412. There's really only one dame who left ya.Copy !req
413. The dame.Copy !req
414. W...
Who do you mean?Copy !req
415. Don't confuse him!Copy !req
416. Stick to the mission!Copy !req
417. Okay, okay!Copy !req
418. Can I have my pen back?Copy !req
419. Next stop...
Denver, Colorado!Copy !req
420. "ARCH."
It's simple.Copy !req
421. Almost elegant.Copy !req
422. Her name's not even on this thing.Copy !req
423. Just the single worst logo I've ever seen.Copy !req
424. That's a QR code.
You scan it with your phone.Copy !req
425. - Should we do it?
- "Should we do it?"Copy !req
426. What allegiance do we have to the Guild?Copy !req
427. They made us a Level 10, then they handed meCopy !req
428. some horse shit
about Venture being related to me.Copy !req
429. Yeah, nah, I'm tired of their crap.Copy !req
430. Yeah, but, dude, that was your ex!Copy !req
431. Your wife is gonna flip out.Copy !req
432. Relax.
It's nothing.Copy !req
433. I dated her right before I met my wife.Copy !req
434. She dumped me!Copy !req
435. Yeah, she dumped me because
she was screwing that ass-hat VentureCopy !req
436. while we were together.Copy !req
437. Oh, my God!Copy !req
438. That's like origin myth stuff!Copy !req
439. The truth has been revealed.Copy !req
440. Dude, that's like
reason number one hundred I hate Venture.Copy !req
441. That's not "the" reason I hate Venture.Copy !req
442. You're making way too big a deal
out of this.Copy !req
443. Well, then if it's not a big dealCopy !req
444. we should see what ARCH is all about.Copy !req
445. Not a big deal.
Little deal.Copy !req
446. Just scan it or whatever.Copy !req
447. Crap.
It's loading tons of data.Copy !req
448. It's downloading my data!Copy !req
449. If they get into my porn!Copy !req
450. My spank bank is super specific.Copy !req
451. It's very hard to explain.Copy !req
452. Do you hear a car or something?Copy !req
453. Minions!
Battle stations!Copy !req
454. Ready the...!Copy !req
455. - Ready the... Ready...
- We have nothing to ready.Copy !req
456. We don't really have
battle stations anymore.Copy !req
457. Gentlemen, nice to see you again so soon.Copy !req
458. What can ARCH do for you?Copy !req
459. Alright, everybody.Copy !req
460. Bag 'em up, and tag 'em up, people.Copy !req
461. Antagonists go in that pile,
scientists get the body-bags.Copy !req
462. We ran out of body-bags
so we're using tarps.Copy !req
463. If Fort Brocks says tarps then it's tarps.Copy !req
464. Let's get 'em out of here.Copy !req
465. And you should be wearing gloves.Copy !req
466. This is a crime scene, formal attire only!Copy !req
467. Sir!
Unbidden counter agents on premises!Copy !req
468. Guten tag, Frau Schmetterling.Copy !req
469. I figured,
you'd show up to our little barbecue.Copy !req
470. It's not one of ours.Copy !req
471. Yeah, when we didn't see any anvilsCopy !req
472. or guys with pianos on their heads
we figuredCopy !req
473. this was a little too upscale for the Guild.Copy !req
474. You...
know anything?Copy !req
475. The antagonist is Brickfrog.Copy !req
476. He was a Guild Willy LomanCopy !req
477. punching the clock till a couple days ago.Copy !req
478. I don't know how he pulled this off.Copy !req
479. Who's the protagonist?Copy !req
480. Professor Vigo Dale.Copy !req
481. He was working on a building materialCopy !req
482. that's supposed to be indestructible.Copy !req
483. Clearly he didn't use it to build his lab.Copy !req
484. Because...
Hole.Copy !req
485. You can't do that!Copy !req
486. Evidence.
We need to analyze this.Copy !req
487. I'll save you some time.
They're dead people.Copy !req
488. Analyzed.Copy !req
489. Now put 'em down before I put you down.Copy !req
490. Where's your money on that?Copy !req
491. Brock, all the way.Copy !req
492. I'll go twenty bucks on it.Copy !req
493. Can't call it.
So, you wanna share intel on this?Copy !req
494. Yeah, sure but we gotta keep it soft.Copy !req
495. Off the wire.Copy !req
496. - Too much...
- Red tape. Yeah, same here.Copy !req
497. Okay, why don't you take him
back to his haunted castleCopy !req
498. and let us get back to work?Copy !req
499. Could you take him?Copy !req
500. What? Red Death?
He's like seventy-three.Copy !req
501. Are you joking?
He scares the crap out of me.Copy !req
502. Alright, fine, yeah he's a little...Copy !req
503. just a little bit scary.Copy !req
504. Pretty sure I could take him.Copy !req
505. Red, what was all that about?Copy !req
506. Simply a distraction.Copy !req
507. I found this phone on one of the henchmen.Copy !req
508. That poor guy's hand was blown off.Copy !req
509. No, of course not.Copy !req
510. I ripped it off his corpse...Copy !req
511. in case he had
a fingerprint lock on his phone.Copy !req
512. Hibiscus tea with lemon and acai berry?Copy !req
513. Thank you...Copy !req
514. Hench...?Copy !req
515. You call them Acolytes.Copy !req
516. Thousands of them are at your disposal.Copy !req
517. Just bring up the ARCH app on your phone
and enter an amount.Copy !req
518. Voila, instant army.Copy !req
519. Watch this...
Acolyte, Kill!Copy !req
520. Oh, my God!
What the fuck!Copy !req
521. Acolyte, stop!Copy !req
522. Go ahead and give her a kick.Copy !req
523. Just go ahead and kick her...
right in the throat meat.Copy !req
524. - Hard as you want.
- What? No.Copy !req
525. I... I don't want to kick anyone in the...
throat meat.Copy !req
526. Your loss.Copy !req
527. Can I get a refresh!Copy !req
528. One hundred thousand vanquished!Copy !req
529. Great job, team.
Now let's get back work.Copy !req
530. Our clients need us.Copy !req
531. There are one one hundred thousand rivalries
in this city?Copy !req
532. City?
ARCH is global.Copy !req
533. Seven continents, seven seas,
and five oceans.Copy !req
534. ARCH is the largest and most effectiveCopy !req
535. antagonist solution resource known.Copy !req
536. By who?
I've never even heard of ARCH.Copy !req
537. Because we're perfect.Copy !req
538. Quiet, efficient, deadly.Copy !req
539. We work behind the scenes for you.Copy !req
540. You get all the glory,
and we do all the dirty work.Copy !req
541. Let me show you around.Copy !req
542. So, what do you need?Copy !req
543. This isn't the Guild of Calamitous Intent,Copy !req
544. this is ARCH.
We're here to help you.Copy !req
545. You need a grapple gun?Copy !req
546. Voila, grapple gun brought to youCopy !req
547. by focused beam teleportationCopy !req
548. exacted by thought-accessed
inventory request.Copy !req
549. In short, if you can think of it,
we can get it for you.Copy !req
550. It's an ARCH exclusive.Copy !req
551. Totally want that grapple gun.Copy !req
552. So, what do you need?Copy !req
553. Or did life already give you everything.Copy !req
554. Never made a misstep or a bad choice.Copy !req
555. Perfect life.
Or do you want more?Copy !req
556. You deserve everything
and I want to give it to you.Copy !req
557. This is your moment to finally have it all.Copy !req
558. What do you need?Copy !req
559. Malcolm.Copy !req
560. Debra.Copy !req
561. Name it, Malcolm.Copy !req
562. What do you need?Copy !req
563. Well, for starters, new costumes,Copy !req
564. and two of those sliding poles!Copy !req
565. Like, for firemen, you know, in batmen.Copy !req
566. All yours.Copy !req
567. Just pull out your porn-stuffed phone
and hit "accept."Copy !req
568. It'll load everything you need.Copy !req
569. We've done all the intel,
we've done all the research.Copy !req
570. We know what you want...Copy !req
571. even if you don't.Copy !req
572. Give me your phone.Copy !req
573. Don't go into the gallery.Copy !req
574. I'm not gonna look at your porn.Copy !req
575. You have no idea how much
you don't wanna see his porn.Copy !req
576. Just scroll down to the bottom
and hit "accept."Copy !req
577. Done.Copy !req
578. Alright, Chicago!Copy !req
579. Makin' good time.Copy !req
580. We get an early start tomorrow,
we'll there by mid-day.Copy !req
581. W...
Wait, we're gonna stop?Copy !req
582. We can't stop!
What about Hank?Copy !req
583. Shoulda thought of that
before you poached the pooty.Copy !req
584. "Poached the p...
poo..."?Copy !req
585. Stealing your own brother's girlfriend, man.Copy !req
586. - That's lowdown.
- You told?Copy !req
587. Don't you have a vow of secrecy
or something?Copy !req
588. I am not your Catholic priest.Copy !req
589. Know what kinda people do that?Copy !req
590. Take other folks' lives for their own?Copy !req
591. Vampire people.Copy !req
592. Don't be so hard on the boy, Jefferson.Copy !req
593. He's tormented enough.Copy !req
594. Alright, sorry.Copy !req
595. I'm just beat.Copy !req
596. I got a place we can crash nearby.Copy !req
597. This does not look like a motel.Copy !req
598. You want to work pro-bono,
we can't afford one.Copy !req
599. This was my old base of operations
back in the day.Copy !req
600. I like your new place better.Copy !req
601. Jefferson Twilight!Copy !req
602. What're you doing here?Copy !req
603. Clayton!Copy !req
604. Just passing though on our way to Colorado.Copy !req
605. Got any room for some overnight guests?Copy !req
606. We've still got your room.Copy !req
607. C'mon the heck up, fellas.Copy !req
608. So, you two must be
the rest of the famous Order of the Triad.Copy !req
609. Only myself.Copy !req
610. Our tertiary member
is back at our New York headquarters.Copy !req
611. The boy here is our...Copy !req
612. client.Copy !req
613. Heya, Seth.
S'up?Copy !req
614. Hey, Jefferson!Copy !req
615. Long time.Copy !req
616. Shit.Copy !req
617. Guys!
We have roaches!Copy !req
618. So are you guys, like...
Mr. Jefferson's old team?Copy !req
619. - Nah, no, no, no, we were never a team.
- We're not a team.Copy !req
620. It's more of a shared live work space deal.Copy !req
621. We're all obsessive loners
who need the space and privacyCopy !req
622. of an abandoned factory.Copy !req
623. But like to keep expenses down.Copy !req
624. And here you are.Copy !req
625. Just like you left it.Copy !req
626. Thanks, again, man.Copy !req
627. Hey, you wanna grab a nightcap
before we turn in?Copy !req
628. Nah, you know me.Copy !req
629. Night's my busy time.Copy !req
630. Think you packed enough stuff?Copy !req
631. One must be prepared for anything.Copy !req
632. And my cloak gets all wrinkly
if I wear it in the car.Copy !req
633. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...Copy !req
634. I'll take the couch.
You two can share the bed.Copy !req
635. We're leavin' at first light.Copy !req
636. Hey.Copy !req
637. You blocked my battle van in.Copy !req
638. Gracias, señor!Copy !req
639. Okay, Hank.Copy !req
640. Ready for this?Copy !req
641. Well, that's new.Copy !req
642. Didn't plan for this contingency.Copy !req
643. If only I'd packed my grapple gun.Copy !req
644. Damn it!
We should turn back.Copy !req
645. I got this one.Copy !req
646. What the...?Copy !req
647. W...
What happened to it all?Copy !req
648. A... All those memories!
My whole life!Copy !req
649. And it's just one big...Copy !req
650. nothing-hole?Copy !req
651. All the answers are right in front of you.Copy !req
652. You just gotta look.Copy !req
653. Scamp!Copy !req
654. Here, boy!
Here, Scamp!Copy !req
655. Alright,
you really gotta pound that hip in there.Copy !req
656. Break his balance.
You can't just pull the guy over.Copy !req
657. You have to roll him over your hip.Copy !req
658. Mecha-Shiva!
Mecha-Shiva!Copy !req
659. You are an Immortal.Copy !req
660. Like, the Highlander?Copy !req
661. Yes, like the Highlander.Copy !req
662. We are clones, Hank.Copy !req
663. Dean, that is...
awesome!Copy !req
664. Dance!
Dance, little man!Copy !req
665. - I think we're being shut down!
- Jacket!Copy !req
666. Employee Dean,
isn't that your make-believe girlfriend?Copy !req
667. Oh, crap!
Where?Copy !req
668. Ma Venture didn't raise no fools.Copy !req
669. W...
We don't have a mom, Hank.Copy !req
670. We don't have a mom, Hank.Copy !req
671. We don't have a mom.Copy !req
672. Mom...Copy !req
673. Are you talking about my mom?Copy !req
674. Yeah.
Damn it, Hank, you're missing my point!Copy !req
675. What was my mom's name?Copy !req
676. It's Bobbi St. Simone!Copy !req
677. - Bobbi?
- Bobbi St. Simone!Copy !req
678. That's a dumb name!Copy !req
679. She was an actress!Copy !req
680. She was an actress...Copy !req
681. Halt!
In the name of the Office of Secret Intelligence!Copy !req
682. Bobbi St. Simone.
She was an actress.Copy !req
683. Hank?
Dude, what're you, high?Copy !req
684. - D... Dermott?
- Dude, what're you doing here?Copy !req
685. I totally coulda shot you.Copy !req
686. W...
With a super-soaker?Copy !req
687. It's not a...
I haven't got my lethal firearms rating yet!Copy !req
688. Friggin' red tape and shit.Copy !req
689. But it is filled with pee
and I am authorized to...Copy !req
690. Dermott!
Listen, I need your help!Copy !req
691. Fuck, yeah!
We're gettin' the band back together!Copy !req
692. Testing...
One, two...Copy !req
693. One, two, three...Copy !req
694. Ladies and gentlemen, members of the press,Copy !req
695. VenTech is proud to presentCopy !req
696. its revolutionary new product...
The Helper Pod!Copy !req
697. The cutting edge of...Copy !req
698. Are we in still love with that name?Copy !req
699. "Helper Pod"?Copy !req
700. The name stays.Copy !req
701. Ain't changin' all these slides again.Copy !req
702. Maybe we shorten it to...
"Help Pod"?Copy !req
703. That's catchier, right?Copy !req
704. Nah, nah, sounds like "Hell Pod."Copy !req
705. Wasn't asking you, Hatred.Copy !req
706. Aren't you done down there yet?Copy !req
707. It'd go a heckuva lot faster
if I had get a li'l help here...Copy !req
708. fellas.Copy !req
709. Where do you two think you're going?Copy !req
710. My mom made chicken piccata!Copy !req
711. And if you want this thing ready by tomorrowCopy !req
712. morning, which is impossible,Copy !req
713. by the way,
we're gonna need to fuel up for an all-nighter.Copy !req
714. Well, hide that thing under your coat.Copy !req
715. There might be paparazzi outside!Copy !req
716. And make your mother sign an NDA!Copy !req
717. What?
What's the problem?Copy !req
718. Dude,
our suits have giant outie belly buttons!Copy !req
719. They're worse than
the nipple suit in "Batman Forever"!Copy !req
720. And they catch the light when you gyrate!Copy !req
721. It's a horror show!Copy !req
722. - Yes!
- Yes!Copy !req
723. Zing!Copy !req
724. Swimming.Copy !req
725. Garçon!Copy !req
726. What's on tonight's menu?Copy !req
727. For the main course,
our chef recommends stealingCopy !req
728. Dr. Venture's latest invention.Copy !req
729. That sounds tasty.Copy !req
730. That comes with one battle-tank garnishedCopy !req
731. with a top mounted laser
that shoots your logo.Copy !req
732. And it's served with a side of
five armed henchmen.Copy !req
733. How about ten?Copy !req
734. I've worked up quite an appetite.Copy !req
735. Excellent choice, sir.
Ten.Copy !req
736. Shall I put your order in?Copy !req
737. Absolutely.Copy !req
738. I am famished.Copy !req
739. Dude, for real?Copy !req
740. That's her!Copy !req
741. She's hot!
I'd do her.Copy !req
742. Dude!
That's my mom!Copy !req
743. Why?
Cuz Chewbacca told you in a dream?Copy !req
744. He wasn't Chewbacca,
he was Mark Hand the Catchman,Copy !req
745. as played by The Action Man.Copy !req
746. And it wasn't a dream.Copy !req
747. It was Coma Town.Copy !req
748. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I know this chick!Copy !req
749. What?
You do?Copy !req
750. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
751. Hold on here.Copy !req
752. Yep.
Yeah, fuckin' knew it!Copy !req
753. Check it out.Copy !req
754. This proves it!Copy !req
755. They totally XO'ed each other!Copy !req
756. Wait, why do you have this?Copy !req
757. Hey, Fictel!
Fictel!Copy !req
758. Who the heck is that?Copy !req
759. Nuthin', he's just a crazy old hippieCopy !req
760. who's always trespassing on the compound.Copy !req
761. You're the trespasser,
ya sticky-fingered little fascist!Copy !req
762. Hey, it's Old Man Potter.Copy !req
763. He lives in that haunted house
on the edge of the compound.Copy !req
764. Hi, Mr. Potter!Copy !req
765. Ben. M'name's Ben.
Not Potter.Copy !req
766. - How many times I gotta...
- Dude, we're busy!Copy !req
767. - Whaddya need?
- Polyphase Venturilium converter?Copy !req
768. Blue, kinda looks like a car batteryCopy !req
769. with a funnel on one end?Copy !req
770. - 'Bout yay big?
- Fine. One sec'.Copy !req
771. Think fast, old man.Copy !req
772. Who...
Damn it! How much?Copy !req
773. I dunno...
Like two hundred?Copy !req
774. Two hundred?
Why, you greedy little...Copy !req
775. Fine.
Put it...Copy !req
776. Put it on my tab.Copy !req
777. Minus the beer!Copy !req
778. Dermott,
did you steal all this stuff from our compound?Copy !req
779. Excuse me?
I secured it.Copy !req
780. For the O.S.I.!Copy !req
781. They don't want your dad's old techCopy !req
782. falling into the wrong hands.Copy !req
783. Sure.
Can we get back to my Mommy Quest?Copy !req
784. Maybe one of these videos'll
tell me where she is now.Copy !req
785. We all know animals
make wonderful companions.Copy !req
786. But far too many of them
are being turned intoCopy !req
787. sidekicks and hench-beasts every day,Copy !req
788. and they need your help.Copy !req
789. Hello, I'm Bobbi St. Simone.Copy !req
790. I saw him again!Copy !req
791. With the awful Fictel boy.Copy !req
792. He's inching closer to his fate!Copy !req
793. We must stop him!Copy !req
794. We haven't a moment to lose!Copy !req
795. Gimme a second.
I think I pulled something.Copy !req
796. Shouldn'a come back here, Hunter.Copy !req
797. Chi-Town belongs to the Blood Brothers now!Copy !req
798. Get in the Blood Vessel!Copy !req
799. Yes, sir!Copy !req
800. - You, too, O.
- Nay, we shall fight them together!Copy !req
801. Magic cloak, I thee invoke!Copy !req
802. Your magic don't work on us, fool!Copy !req
803. - Is that true?
- 'Fraid so.Copy !req
804. You might wanna...Copy !req
805. Off I go!Copy !req
806. No!
Lock everything!Copy !req
807. Can they turn into smoke?Copy !req
808. Can they get in through the air conditioner?Copy !req
809. - Oh, no!
- Orpheus, clean that bug off my windshield!Copy !req
810. Clean what...?Copy !req
811. Oh, yes.Copy !req
812. Holy water.Copy !req
813. Whoa, now!Copy !req
814. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
815. No, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
816. The Hunter's mine!Copy !req
817. But first...
we make him watch while we turn his friendsCopy !req
818. into that which he hates the most.Copy !req
819. Oh, you can try.Copy !req
820. But I don't think
they can pull off that New Jack style.Copy !req
821. Hey, no fair!Copy !req
822. Did that son of a bitch just bail on us?Copy !req
823. Unhand my friends, blood-suckers!Copy !req
824. Nah, you don't get to do that.Copy !req
825. W...
What the hell is that?Copy !req
826. Wha...
What the fuck is that shit?Copy !req
827. An' you all are getting killed by this?Copy !req
828. You're really gonna
let that thing kick your ass.Copy !req
829. Move, move, move!
You wanna get bit? Let's go!Copy !req
830. - I knew it. I knew. You all are punks!
- Move your narrow ass!Copy !req
831. Everybody is getting...
You getting fucked up, too?Copy !req
832. Now you gettin' fucked up!
now you gettin' fucked up!Copy !req
833. Wait a minute.
It's comin' over here.Copy !req
834. Now I'm gettin' fucked up!Copy !req
835. That was so close!Copy !req
836. So nice of your old team
to lend us a hand back there.Copy !req
837. I told you, we were never a team!Copy !req
838. Wh...
Wha...?Copy !req
839. It's The Police!Copy !req
840. Oh, my God!
It's The Police!Copy !req
841. It's not The Police!Copy !req
842. Of course it's The Police!Copy !req
843. It's so obviously The Police!Copy !req
844. Toto!
It's Toto!Copy !req
845. Everyone knows it's Toto!Copy !req
846. Toto?
Toto did "Rosanna"!Copy !req
847. "Roxanne" is The Police!Copy !req
848. Right!Copy !req
849. Ya see where I got it all mixed up.Copy !req
850. "Roxanne"... "Rosanna"...
I mean...Copy !req
851. Alright, let's just...
siege.Copy !req
852. Ya know, they're both really great songs.Copy !req
853. Now I'm way off my game.Copy !req
854. Yeah, you really dug in there.Copy !req
855. I don't know why I dig in like that.Copy !req
856. - You really dig in.
- I just dig in.Copy !req
857. Alright!
Okay!Copy !req
858. Shake it off.Copy !req
859. Laser cannon ready!Copy !req
860. Okay, okay, okay, okay, 'kay.Copy !req
861. No, no, I...
I really don't wanna do the speech.Copy !req
862. - Fire?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, fire. Whatever.Copy !req
863. - Dude, come on.
- Fine!Copy !req
864. For you.Copy !req
865. Fire!Copy !req
866. We can't fit through that.Copy !req
867. Great siege!
This is great!Copy !req
868. Don't blame me!Copy !req
869. That's a really delicate logo.Copy !req
870. Okay,
it's my fault we can't fit through our logo?Copy !req
871. There is a breach in sector A-11.Copy !req
872. Wha...?Copy !req
873. Come on!Copy !req
874. Penthouse Emergency Mode!Copy !req
875. Come on!Copy !req
876. I gotta take the ding-dong stairs!Copy !req
877. Seriously?Copy !req
878. It's the middle of the night,Copy !req
879. my husband snuck out, now I gotta...Copy !req
880. Wh...
What?Copy !req
881. Why are you all looking at me weird?Copy !req
882. Welcome to ARCH headquarters.Copy !req
883. Or what's left of it, at least.Copy !req
884. We de-encrypted the data from the phoneCopy !req
885. we took off that agent.Copy !req
886. It led us right here.Copy !req
887. I'm sorry Madam.Copy !req
888. For what?
Come on. What's going on?Copy !req
889. - This is weird.
- I'll say it.Copy !req
890. We've got tons of evidence here
that closes this case.Copy !req
891. And it all leads to you.Copy !req
892. W...
What are you talking about?Copy !req
893. You're not serious, right?Copy !req
894. We're dead serious.Copy !req
895. That's you.Copy !req
896. This is a hard one to get out of.Copy !req
897. And this video's just one tube of lube
in an orgy of evidence.Copy !req
898. The Guild and the O.S.I.
both have enough on youCopy !req
899. to hang you for treason.Copy !req
900. This is a set up!Copy !req
901. You can't possibly think I did this!Copy !req
902. Be fucking reasonable!Copy !req
903. It's all right here.Copy !req
904. The evidence speaks for itself.Copy !req
905. It's too bad that we can't find you.Copy !req
906. You're just too clever.Copy !req
907. You slipped away.Copy !req
908. But we will hunt you down.Copy !req
909. I'm sorry, Sheila,
but you're gonna have to run away.Copy !req
910. What?Copy !req
911. Run!Copy !req
912. Dude, our ride just left with our troops.Copy !req
913. Come on now!Copy !req
914. You know,
we should just take an I on this crap.Copy !req
915. ARCH fuckin' sucks.Copy !req
916. We got played.Copy !req
917. Nobody...Copy !req
918. No...
Nobody move.Copy !req
919. So many stairs.Copy !req
920. Suck on this, fatty!Copy !req
921. Feel the sting of the...Copy !req
922. Oh, shi...Copy !req
923. Hey... Hey...
Hey, time out!Copy !req
924. I think it's an Amber alert
or a silver alert.Copy !req
925. Is no one else getting this?Copy !req
926. Right about now...Copy !req
927. What did...?
What're ya...?Copy !req
928. What is this now?Copy !req
929. Emcee Rob Base and D.J. E-Z Rock.Copy !req
930. Hit it!Copy !req
931. Three o'clock, Brock of Seagulls.Copy !req
932. Isn't that your house?Copy !req
933. Holy fuck!Copy !req
934. Pilot!
Follow that...Copy !req
935. skyscraper!Copy !req
936. Doc!
Are you okay?Copy !req
937. What the hell is going on over there?Copy !req
938. I'm fine.Copy !req
939. Hatred pulled the alarm or something.Copy !req
940. You know how paranoid he can get.Copy !req
941. Paranoid?
Do you not...? What the...?Copy !req
942. Have you looked out a window?Copy !req
943. No, silly-billy, I'm in the panic room.Copy !req
944. - There aren't any win...
- Go look out the fuckin' window!Copy !req
945. Fine.Copy !req
946. Second night in a row I'm getting no sleepCopy !req
947. because of you people.Copy !req
948. Okay, what am I supposed to be looking at,Copy !req
949. a double rainbow or something?Copy !req
950. All I see is...Copy !req
951. - Hey, Helper!
- Helper!Copy !req
952. Stop the music!Copy !req
953. It's not working.
Hit the power button!Copy !req
954. - That racket!
- I'm hitting the power button!Copy !req
955. Don't just whack it,
you gotta hold it down for three seconds!Copy !req
956. Party's over, laddies.Copy !req
957. I...
It's not a party, we're working.Copy !req
958. And that's why we don't bring
our super-science work home with us!Copy !req
959. Ma, don't clean.Copy !req
960. White'll do it.
Just a quick tidy...Copy !req
961. No, Ma, please.Copy !req
962. Doc!
I was about to call you.Copy !req
963. We absolutely cannot launch tomorrow!Copy !req
964. We're way past "launch."Copy !req
965. I apologize for that kerfuffle back there.Copy !req
966. We know you're innocent,
so we gave you the chance to prove it.Copy !req
967. And you're a talking horse?
Great.Copy !req
968. No, it's me, Red Death,
but I'm a horse, too.Copy !req
969. D...
Daisy is connected to me by a neurotransmitter.Copy !req
970. We are one.Copy !req
971. I understand...
Wait.Copy !req
972. You named a flaming hell-horse "Daisy"?Copy !req
973. No, my daughter Lila named me.Copy !req
974. I wanted to call me Lady Disaster.Copy !req
975. But in retrospect
it's more of a name for band.Copy !req
976. Well, Daisy, where are we going?Copy !req
977. I've got good news and bad news.Copy !req
978. - Which do you want first?
- I need some good news.Copy !req
979. A rental agreement
found at the remains of ARCHCopy !req
980. led to a woman called Mantilla.Copy !req
981. I'm riding you to her apartment now.Copy !req
982. Is it riding?
Or am I flying you there?Copy !req
983. Carrying, maybe? Riding's fine.Copy !req
984. What's the bad news?Copy !req
985. Your husband's joined ARCH, and he appearsCopy !req
986. to be flying a building to the moon.Copy !req
987. - What?
- And there is an O.S.I. Interceptor about to shoot us down.Copy !req
988. Hang on!Copy !req
989. Dermott Fictel!
We need your help!Copy !req
990. No,
you need to learn to use a friggin' door, dude.Copy !req
991. Get outta my room!Copy !req
992. Time is of the essence.Copy !req
993. Where is Hank Venture?Copy !req
994. - I ain't seen him.
- Liar!Copy !req
995. Pants aflame!Copy !req
996. His psychic residue
permeates the air about you!Copy !req
997. I sense it still!Copy !req
998. Yeah,
I dropped a big deuce before you got here,Copy !req
999. you're probably smellin' that.Copy !req
1000. Wh...?
Foul boy!Copy !req
1001. Master Venture is in grave danger!Copy !req
1002. Tell us where he is, Dermott!Copy !req
1003. What is this?
The Good Cop-Unabomber routine?Copy !req
1004. Well, I ain't no snitch.Copy !req
1005. Where is Hank?Copy !req
1006. Alright, fine!
He went to look for your mom.Copy !req
1007. Bullpucky!
We don't have a mom!Copy !req
1008. W... We Googled her!
She's down the road in some shitty zoo!Copy !req
1009. D...
Dean?Copy !req
1010. It's starting.
I can feel it!Copy !req
1011. I...
I'm turning.Copy !req
1012. Th...
The change!Copy !req
1013. Oh, God!Copy !req
1014. What's eatin' him?Copy !req
1015. What shitty zoo?Copy !req
1016. This is crazy.Copy !req
1017. Your whole life you've wondered about her,Copy !req
1018. and she's been right here the whole time?Copy !req
1019. This was the place in the video.Copy !req
1020. Yeah, but how do you know it's her joint?Copy !req
1021. She was an actress.Copy !req
1022. 'Coulda been jobbing on a commercial gig.Copy !req
1023. She's here.Copy !req
1024. I can just feel it.Copy !req
1025. Looks like it's closed.Copy !req
1026. That's-a never stop you before.Copy !req
1027. Love can-a open all-a doors.Copy !req
1028. Go!
Meet-a you mama!Copy !req
1029. You sure you want to do that?Copy !req
1030. This woman abandoned you!Copy !req
1031. What do you know?Copy !req
1032. Batman's mom's dead.Copy !req
1033. Some mystery.Copy !req
1034. I always thought
the missing mom'd turn out to beCopy !req
1035. the Queen of Atlantis or some other swell.Copy !req
1036. I had-a my money on-aCopy !req
1037. "she was-a trapped in-a the quantum realm."Copy !req
1038. I thought she is prostitute.Copy !req
1039. M...
Mom?Copy !req
1040. Buddy, no!Copy !req
1041. Go play your drums.Copy !req
1042. If it isn't Hank Venture.Copy !req
1043. You're younger than I expected.Copy !req
1044. Y...
You were expecting me?Copy !req
1045. I've come to.
Is your brother with you?Copy !req
1046. We had a...
falling out.Copy !req
1047. That's a shame.Copy !req
1048. Family is...Copy !req
1049. It's everything really.Copy !req
1050. Is that supposed to be a fucking joke?Copy !req
1051. Language, Hank.Copy !req
1052. Language, shmanguage!Copy !req
1053. Where have you been all my life?Copy !req
1054. Right.Copy !req
1055. 'Guess you're gonna want to hear
the whole sordid story?Copy !req
1056. Alright, Doc,
we figured out what's going on.Copy !req
1057. The magnets in the Pods' speakersCopy !req
1058. are made of cutting edge super-conductors.Copy !req
1059. And, thanks to a software glitch...Copy !req
1060. - It's not my fault.
- It's your fault.Copy !req
1061. When the volume goes up, so do theyCopy !req
1062. by generating a powerful magnetic field.Copy !req
1063. It's actually kind of amazing.Copy !req
1064. We accidentally built
a miniature anti-gravity engine.Copy !req
1065. Go Team Venture.Copy !req
1066. So can White fix the glitch?Copy !req
1067. Not a problem.Copy !req
1068. If I could get into the software that is.Copy !req
1069. But someone locked me out of the system,
so...Copy !req
1070. - Problem.
- So what do I do? Cut the power?Copy !req
1071. That's the last thing you want to do!Copy !req
1072. VenTech would plummet
like a bag of hot rocks!Copy !req
1073. Or, you know,
a five hundred thousand ton skyscraper.Copy !req
1074. Exactly why
I'm getting the hell out of here,Copy !req
1075. if Hatred would get his fat assCopy !req
1076. up to the hangar already.Copy !req
1077. I...
Stairs...Copy !req
1078. Doc, from that height,
if VenTech crashes downCopy !req
1079. it'll take out half of Manhattan!Copy !req
1080. Well,
I definitely don't want to be in it when that happens.Copy !req
1081. No, you can't let that happen!Copy !req
1082. Y... Y...
You just can't bail, you have to fix this!Copy !req
1083. You have a responsibility, we all do!Copy !req
1084. This is our fault!Copy !req
1085. I didn't even want to
make these goddamn things!Copy !req
1086. You people talked me into
this "lifestyle products" crap!Copy !req
1087. I was happier as a middling super-scientistCopy !req
1088. in the middle of nowhere!Copy !req
1089. You done feeling sorry for yourself?Copy !req
1090. Yeah.
What do we do?Copy !req
1091. Your only hope is to
shut the Helper pods down manually,Copy !req
1092. one by one, until you start to level off.Copy !req
1093. Then gradually turn more off
to control your descent.Copy !req
1094. Okay.
And how do I do that?Copy !req
1095. We've found shooting them
to be pretty effective.Copy !req
1096. Yeah, but the thing is,
with all that electromagnetic energy...Copy !req
1097. Doc?
Doc?Copy !req
1098. Billy?
Hello, Billy?Copy !req
1099. I lost you.Copy !req
1100. Hello?Copy !req
1101. You get all that, Hatred?Copy !req
1102. Turn around and head back downstairs.Copy !req
1103. I'll meet you by the mezzanine elevator.Copy !req
1104. - Hey, hey, hey!
- Help us!Copy !req
1105. - Help us!
- Get us outta here!Copy !req
1106. - Help us, baldy!
- Please take us with you!Copy !req
1107. You're gonna shoot 'em down?
You can't do that!Copy !req
1108. If it's between them
and millions of citizensCopy !req
1109. nestled snuggly in their beds,
I can and will.Copy !req
1110. The second they tumble into
Uncle Sam's airspace.Copy !req
1111. Just give me a chance.Copy !req
1112. Put me in a shuttle and get me up there!Copy !req
1113. No dice, Samson.Copy !req
1114. This is one cluster
you can't un-fuck with a Bowie knife.Copy !req
1115. ARCH ain't playing by the rules.Copy !req
1116. We're in uncharted territory here.Copy !req
1117. Not entirely true, Sir.Copy !req
1118. September 1962, Fantastic Four number six.Copy !req
1119. Dr. Doom lifted the Baxter BuildingCopy !req
1120. into space with a device called...
"The Grabber."Copy !req
1121. Really?
And how'd ol' Reed and F.F.Copy !req
1122. get outta that sticky wicket?Copy !req
1123. They had help, sir.Copy !req
1124. From Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner.Copy !req
1125. Last I checked,
Dr. Venture doesn't have one of those, does he?Copy !req
1126. No.
He's only one of the foremostCopy !req
1127. super-scientists on the planet,Copy !req
1128. with a seasoned super-soldier at his sideCopy !req
1129. who used to be one of ours.Copy !req
1130. That's a team you can bet on.Copy !req
1131. - You guys suck!
- You are adorable.Copy !req
1132. Fine, if you don't trust them to fix this,Copy !req
1133. then trust the agent
we have working the ARCH angle.Copy !req
1134. If ARCH is pulling the strings here...
she'll cut 'em.Copy !req
1135. Alright, I'm gonna look around.Copy !req
1136. Watch your head.Copy !req
1137. Looks like
an episode of "Intervention" in here.Copy !req
1138. Or an episode of "C.S.I."Copy !req
1139. Man, someone is obsessed with your husband.Copy !req
1140. Oh, my God.
How'd she even get these?Copy !req
1141. That's a picture of us eating dinner.Copy !req
1142. There's one of you both asleep in your bed.Copy !req
1143. It's like she was always there.Copy !req
1144. I was.Copy !req
1145. I was there for all of it.Copy !req
1146. It should have been me.Copy !req
1147. You dropped your gun when you landed on me.Copy !req
1148. Nice job, you two.Copy !req
1149. Now the knife you keep in your boot, please.Copy !req
1150. I know you.Copy !req
1151. You're that girl
that my husband used to date.Copy !req
1152. Debbie, right?
You're Debbie!Copy !req
1153. Trying to erase me and steal my husband?Copy !req
1154. Okay, first of all, it's Debra, not Debbie,Copy !req
1155. and second of all, you got it all wrong.Copy !req
1156. The crime scene cliché here
tells a different story.Copy !req
1157. Yeah, it started as kind of a checklist,Copy !req
1158. then I had all these pictures, then I got some...
yarn.Copy !req
1159. You never set out
to make an "I'm crazy" wall,Copy !req
1160. but ya know.Copy !req
1161. They happen.
It's an organic thing.Copy !req
1162. You insinuated yourself
into the sanctity of matrimony.Copy !req
1163. I took some pictures, go cry about it.Copy !req
1164. - Who is the talking horse?
- Daisy.Copy !req
1165. Well, Daisy,
why don't you sit down and shut up,Copy !req
1166. because this has nothing to do with you.Copy !req
1167. And I'm not obsessed with The Monarch.
Seriously?Copy !req
1168. Right now that evil genius
and his brilliant arch enemyCopy !req
1169. are flying haplessly into space
in overpriced real estate.Copy !req
1170. No offense to morons, but...Copy !req
1171. your husband is their king.Copy !req
1172. I don't know what you even see in him.Copy !req
1173. Of course!Copy !req
1174. It's you.Copy !req
1175. She's obsessed with you.Copy !req
1176. Daisy, seriously, shut your mouth.Copy !req
1177. I have no problem shooting a robot horse.Copy !req
1178. The year was nineteen-I'd-rather-not-say,Copy !req
1179. and I was shooting "Follow That Bikini"Copy !req
1180. on the Isotope lot.Copy !req
1181. Your grandfather was consultingCopy !req
1182. on some hush-hush project
on the next sound stage,Copy !req
1183. and I guess our little movie
piqued his curiosity.Copy !req
1184. He told me he knew
a much more convincing wayCopy !req
1185. to make me look invisible,Copy !req
1186. and invited me back to his compound
to show me.Copy !req
1187. Well, it sure was convincing!Copy !req
1188. And so was Jonas.Copy !req
1189. I ended up staying the night,Copy !req
1190. which is how I met your father.Copy !req
1191. And that's when you fell in love...
and had me and Dean?Copy !req
1192. No, cuckoo-pants.Copy !req
1193. He was just a little kid at the time.Copy !req
1194. Adorable little Rusty.Copy !req
1195. Such a sweetie.Copy !req
1196. 'Little bit sad, too.Copy !req
1197. I think he asked if I was his mommy.Copy !req
1198. Anyway,
"Follow That Bikini" was a certified bomb.Copy !req
1199. Talk about a fading star!Copy !req
1200. I couldn't even
make it through an audition without fading.Copy !req
1201. I begged Jonas to fix me, but instead,Copy !req
1202. he and his O.S.I. cronies offered me a job.Copy !req
1203. And just like that,
I went from an actress...Copy !req
1204. to a spy.Copy !req
1205. Cool!Copy !req
1206. It ain't like it is in the movies, kid.Copy !req
1207. They threw me to the wolves.Copy !req
1208. But I guess they knew their wolves,Copy !req
1209. because it wasn't long
before I caught the eye of the alpha.Copy !req
1210. Force Majeure.Copy !req
1211. Number One on the O.S.I.'s Most Wanted List,Copy !req
1212. Sovereign of the Guild of Calamitous IntentCopy !req
1213. and Jonas Venture's arch enemy.Copy !req
1214. Gaining his trust was easy-peasy.Copy !req
1215. My "special talent"
made me a natural for super-crime.Copy !req
1216. And truth is,
I was attracted the Guild lifestyle...Copy !req
1217. and to him, meow.Copy !req
1218. It didn't matter how many dumb namesCopy !req
1219. I crossed off their Most Wanted list,Copy !req
1220. the O.S.I. only wanted Force Majeure.Copy !req
1221. But how could I betray
the man I'd fallen in love with?Copy !req
1222. The father of my child?Copy !req
1223. Force Majeure is my real father?Copy !req
1224. No, Hank.
I was talking about my daughter.Copy !req
1225. I have a sister?Copy !req
1226. Does my dad know?Copy !req
1227. Your father comes later.Copy !req
1228. After Force Majeure was usurped,Copy !req
1229. I knew I was next
on the new Sovereign's hit list.Copy !req
1230. So I grabbed little Debbie
and got the heck outta Dodge.Copy !req
1231. And after a decade on the run,Copy !req
1232. I just wanted to live a normal life again.Copy !req
1233. Jonas was dead by then,
so I found your fatherCopy !req
1234. and asked for his help.Copy !req
1235. And...?Copy !req
1236. And... he helped me.
That's it.Copy !req
1237. - That's it?
- Nothing else happened...Copy !req
1238. between your father and me, Hank.Copy !req
1239. I'm not your mother.Copy !req
1240. And...
I've already told you all of this.Copy !req
1241. W...
What do you mean?Copy !req
1242. This ain't the first time
you've come looking for me, kid.Copy !req
1243. Heck, it isn't even the second.Copy !req
1244. Wha...?Copy !req
1245. Shi...Copy !req
1246. Hank?
Hank?Copy !req
1247. Buddy, fetch the smelling salts!Copy !req
1248. No need, Buddy.Copy !req
1249. I shall take it from here.Copy !req
1250. I can't believe we stayed for
your over-the-hill rent-a-cop.Copy !req
1251. Why didn't we just leave him
and get the hell out of here?Copy !req
1252. We didn't stay for Hatred!
We stayed because if we leave,Copy !req
1253. the building'll kill a bunch of people.Copy !req
1254. - So?
- Dude.Copy !req
1255. And that's why I'm always the heroCopy !req
1256. and you're always the villain.Copy !req
1257. Don't flatter yourself, slick.Copy !req
1258. And don't think this is some
buddy-buddy comic book team-up crap.Copy !req
1259. - I still hate you.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1260. Well I hate you, too.Copy !req
1261. But I don't walk around
obsessing about it all day.Copy !req
1262. It's not why
I put on my speedsuit every morning.Copy !req
1263. - Why'd you fuck Debbie?
- Debbie?Copy !req
1264. - Debbie who?
- Debbie St. Simone!Copy !req
1265. She was my girlfriend.Copy !req
1266. Debbie from twenty years ago Debbie?Copy !req
1267. We never voh-dee-oh-doh-doh'ed,Copy !req
1268. I did some work for her and her mother.Copy !req
1269. Fine.Copy !req
1270. Hey...
You hear this crap about how we might be related?Copy !req
1271. - Ridiculous.
- Ridiculous, right?Copy !req
1272. Yeah, that's what I said.Copy !req
1273. I mean, maybe you go back likeCopy !req
1274. twenty generations or something.Copy !req
1275. - Sure, sure.
- Yeah, they say like half the world...Copy !req
1276. can trace their roots to Genghis Khan.Copy !req
1277. - Exactly.
- Exactly.Copy !req
1278. Then again, my dad did get around.Copy !req
1279. And he did know your mom, so...Copy !req
1280. Say it again!
Say that about my mother one more time!Copy !req
1281. I will kick you in your fucking throat meat!Copy !req
1282. What the hell?Copy !req
1283. The elevators work?Copy !req
1284. What?
Of course, you just override the...Copy !req
1285. Never mind, get in.Copy !req
1286. Geez.Copy !req
1287. You've been waiting all day for this,
haven't you?Copy !req
1288. Okay, it's gonna be loud in there,Copy !req
1289. and probably a little disorienting.Copy !req
1290. So get in and get out.Copy !req
1291. Start in the corners, pick off a few pods,Copy !req
1292. then regroup in here to reload.Copy !req
1293. We'll work in waves.Copy !req
1294. - What?
- What?
- Doc, what?Copy !req
1295. Just follow my lead!Copy !req
1296. No!Copy !req
1297. Abort!
Abort the mission!Copy !req
1298. Grab him!Copy !req
1299. Come on now!
Pull!Copy !req
1300. Pull!Copy !req
1301. - Come on.
- Damn it.Copy !req
1302. Get far away.Copy !req
1303. You'll never take-a me alive, Bat-a fool!Copy !req
1304. No fair!Copy !req
1305. It's all in my eye slits now...Copy !req
1306. No, no, no.
Clients like petite girl.Copy !req
1307. You make good money, you do this.Copy !req
1308. I only keep fifty percent.
Think about.Copy !req
1309. Call me daffy, but...Copy !req
1310. I'd bet dollars to donuts
we're not in Colorado anymore.Copy !req
1311. Hank?Copy !req
1312. Hank?Copy !req
1313. Hank?Copy !req
1314. Master Venture, are you here?Copy !req
1315. Doctor Orpheus?Copy !req
1316. What are you doing here?Copy !req
1317. Are you in a coma, too?Copy !req
1318. No, young Hank.Copy !req
1319. We have come to rescue you.Copy !req
1320. - Why're you dressed as Borat?
- I know not.Copy !req
1321. But I deduce your comatose delusionsCopy !req
1322. are somehow drawn from
half-remembered cinema.Copy !req
1323. You're Zed, man!
From "Zardoz"!Copy !req
1324. Sci-fi classic!Copy !req
1325. Be that as it may,Copy !req
1326. you must come back with us, young Hank.Copy !req
1327. Back?
To what?Copy !req
1328. There's nothing there for me.Copy !req
1329. I don't have a girlfriend anymore.Copy !req
1330. My mommy isn't even my mommy.Copy !req
1331. And my own brother stabbed me in the back.Copy !req
1332. Who do you think brought me here,Copy !req
1333. some seventeen hundred miles
through dark of nightCopy !req
1334. and threat of desanguination,
just to find you?Copy !req
1335. It was Dean.Copy !req
1336. I drove!Copy !req
1337. Jefferson drove.Copy !req
1338. But your brother's love for you and his deepCopy !req
1339. and earnest remorse were our compass.Copy !req
1340. He is waiting out there to make amends.Copy !req
1341. Your whole life is waiting!Copy !req
1342. So...
am I calling an ambulance, or...?Copy !req
1343. No, no.
They can fix him.Copy !req
1344. Mr. Jefferson's
kind of a conduit between realms,Copy !req
1345. so he's taking Dr. Orpheus
into Hank's coma world.Copy !req
1346. So, that one's a doctor.
Okay.Copy !req
1347. I'm...
I'm not your mother, by the way.Copy !req
1348. I know.Copy !req
1349. So you remember me, then?Copy !req
1350. Have we met?Copy !req
1351. So you ruin my life,Copy !req
1352. you launch my husband into space,Copy !req
1353. then suddenly you and I
are listening to Dolly Parton,Copy !req
1354. kicking it as
"Sheila and the Invisible Debbie"?Copy !req
1355. You chose a ridiculous
twenty-year revenge planCopy !req
1356. over asking me to team up?Copy !req
1357. When?
Seriously, Sheila, when?Copy !req
1358. You went from Truckules, to Phantom Limb,Copy !req
1359. right to The Monarch.Copy !req
1360. Always a number two
for some incompetent man.Copy !req
1361. I'm saving you from that system!Copy !req
1362. Me!
You're welcome!Copy !req
1363. Screw you, Debbie.Copy !req
1364. I'm not gonna thank you and join ARCH.Copy !req
1365. ARCH?
There is no ARCH.Copy !req
1366. But there could be.Copy !req
1367. Do you know how easy it was
to poach from the Guild?Copy !req
1368. We could have their entire rosterCopy !req
1369. if we just gave them
a better insurance packageCopy !req
1370. and donuts every Friday.Copy !req
1371. They're hungry!Copy !req
1372. For more than just donuts.Copy !req
1373. They want efficiency donuts!Copy !req
1374. Effective leadership donuts!Copy !req
1375. "Sixteen Candles"!Copy !req
1376. Horse!
What? What now? What?Copy !req
1377. You sitting on that table.Copy !req
1378. I was trying to remember
what it reminded me of.Copy !req
1379. It's the end of "Sixteen Candles."Copy !req
1380. It was killing me.Copy !req
1381. Thanks.
Very helpful.Copy !req
1382. Debbie, wake up!Copy !req
1383. This is nuts.Copy !req
1384. Let's go back to the Guild and fix it.Copy !req
1385. It's not too late.
There should be a cake.Copy !req
1386. You're Guild persona non grata!Copy !req
1387. There's no going back to that mess.Copy !req
1388. The Council of Thirteen is now what,
seven old men?Copy !req
1389. There's no Sovereign.Copy !req
1390. You have no choice but to start again!Copy !req
1391. - You and me!
- No.Copy !req
1392. I have always had a choice.Copy !req
1393. You followed me for years,Copy !req
1394. and you know my life isn't perfect,Copy !req
1395. but I don't need to be saved from it.Copy !req
1396. Yes, the Guild is a mess,
and we're trying to make it better.Copy !req
1397. But I'm not a victim.Copy !req
1398. I chose my life.Copy !req
1399. I never chose my life.Copy !req
1400. My mother chose my life.Copy !req
1401. You know why I broke up with The Monarch?Copy !req
1402. He told me it was because
you slept with Dr. Venture.Copy !req
1403. Gross!
No!Copy !req
1404. I never slept...
Go...Copy !req
1405. God, that was business.Copy !req
1406. Rusty just took away my mom's invisibility
and gave it to me.Copy !req
1407. And I gave him my...Copy !req
1408. stuff I wasn't planning on using.Copy !req
1409. I can't believe he told you
I slept with Rusty.Copy !req
1410. Well, then why did you break up with him?Copy !req
1411. Please!Copy !req
1412. My mom took one look at his costume
and was like...Copy !req
1413. "No way!
You're not dating a super villain!Copy !req
1414. We gave all that up!"Copy !req
1415. Your mom was an antagonist?
Who?Copy !req
1416. Honey, my mom was "the" antagonist!Copy !req
1417. Madam Majeure.Copy !req
1418. I'm the daughter of Force Majeure.Copy !req
1419. The last true Sovereign of The Guild!Copy !req
1420. And my mom has me shoveling monkey shit?Copy !req
1421. I'm Debra... fuckin'... Majeure!Copy !req
1422. You are the rightful heir to
the Guild of Calamitous Intent.Copy !req
1423. My Liege, I am at your service.Copy !req
1424. Rise, humble servant.Copy !req
1425. You shall be my steed and be at my side
as I take my birthright...Copy !req
1426. Shut that noise up!Copy !req
1427. That's not how this ends!Copy !req
1428. I'm done with your plan, Debbie.Copy !req
1429. Here's my plan.
Non-negotiable.Copy !req
1430. I'll save your ass from
the Guild and O.S.I.,Copy !req
1431. and make you a super villain.Copy !req
1432. Simply bring down
that flying building my husband's in,Copy !req
1433. and untie us.Copy !req
1434. Now!
Don't fucking listen to that horse!Copy !req
1435. Seriously, I need to shut my mouth.Copy !req
1436. I knew that wasn't gonna fly.Copy !req
1437. Yeah, deal.
I'll bring it down.Copy !req
1438. I'm not nuts, ya know?Copy !req
1439. Despite the...Copy !req
1440. I just wanted...Copy !req
1441. Or thought maybe we could've...Copy !req
1442. - I wanna blame my mom here, but I gotta...
- Oh, my God, whatever!Copy !req
1443. Bring the building down!Copy !req
1444. Oh shit, yeah, sorry.Copy !req
1445. Just gotta turn off the...Copy !req
1446. Done.Copy !req
1447. That was...
That was so much wrong...Copy !req
1448. New...
Need new plan...Copy !req
1449. I think all my organs are inside out.Copy !req
1450. I think...
mine came out my ass.Copy !req
1451. Wait, wait.Copy !req
1452. - The music stopped.
- Thank-fucking-God.Copy !req
1453. No.
That's a bad thing.Copy !req
1454. That's very ba...Copy !req
1455. Shit!
I'm weightless!Copy !req
1456. Well, duh!
We're in space, right?Copy !req
1457. No, we're in free fall.Copy !req
1458. We're falling.Copy !req
1459. Oh, my God, the building is falling!Copy !req
1460. Wait! Wait! Wait!
Think!Copy !req
1461. We've still got your plane.Copy !req
1462. Can we get back to the hangar from here?Copy !req
1463. I don't know!
I don't even know what part of the building this is!Copy !req
1464. Well, we know the hangar's up, right?Copy !req
1465. So let's go up!Copy !req
1466. H... H...
How long have we got?Copy !req
1467. Let's see...Copy !req
1468. Felix Baumgartner
took just over four minutes.Copy !req
1469. But he started in the stratosphere,Copy !req
1470. and the air's thinner in the mesosphere
and the thermosphere.Copy !req
1471. - So terminal velocity...
- Ballpark it, egghead!Copy !req
1472. Less than five minutes!Copy !req
1473. Can't see a goddamn thing.
Doesn't anybody have a light?Copy !req
1474. I think my costume had headlight goggles.Copy !req
1475. But your angry robot DJs ate it.Copy !req
1476. Hang on, I think I got some matches.Copy !req
1477. You know, for my stogies.Copy !req
1478. And...
bathroom odors.Copy !req
1479. What the fuck was that?Copy !req
1480. Our way out.Copy !req
1481. I mean,
I guess I could give it another try out there.Copy !req
1482. But I don't think
they're gonna want to go back.Copy !req
1483. Look at 'em.Copy !req
1484. Then leave them.Copy !req
1485. They are the stuff of fantasy,Copy !req
1486. conjured by a hurt and frightened boyCopy !req
1487. who's outgrown his need for them.Copy !req
1488. They belong in this place.Copy !req
1489. But they're...
me.Copy !req
1490. No more than the Hank whose diapersCopy !req
1491. your father once changed.Copy !req
1492. Or the Hank who lost his first tooth,Copy !req
1493. or scanned the December sky
for Santa's sleigh.Copy !req
1494. You will carry them inside you always,Copy !req
1495. but their time has passed.Copy !req
1496. He's really cute.Copy !req
1497. He likes you.Copy !req
1498. You know, if you ever want to come visit...Copy !req
1499. t...
to see the animals...Copy !req
1500. you're welcome anytime.Copy !req
1501. Your brother, too.Copy !req
1502. Well, thanks.
That sounds... nice.Copy !req
1503. But we don't really
live around here anymore.Copy !req
1504. Ya see, we moved to the...Copy !req
1505. - Goodbye!
- Good-a-bye, Hank-a Venture!Copy !req
1506. - Goodbye!
- Arrivederci!Copy !req
1507. Dean?Copy !req
1508. Dean!Copy !req
1509. Here's what's coming to you!Copy !req
1510. - How about a little chin music?
- Hanks!Copy !req
1511. - No, no, no, no, no!
- Guys! Guys, quit it!Copy !req
1512. Stop!
Forgive him!Copy !req
1513. We forgive him!Copy !req
1514. Jefferson!Copy !req
1515. Exeunt, s'il vous plaît!Copy !req
1516. Thank God...Copy !req
1517. Sorry, Deano.Copy !req
1518. Guess I had a little residual anger there?Copy !req
1519. No, I...
kinda deserved that.Copy !req
1520. Hey, thanks for coming to rescue me.Copy !req
1521. Did Pop come, too?Copy !req
1522. Well, he...Copy !req
1523. y'know, he...
he had a thing.Copy !req
1524. Brock?
You guys bring Brock?Copy !req
1525. W...
What is it?Copy !req
1526. Is it a missile?Copy !req
1527. It's...Copy !req
1528. It's coming down!Copy !req
1529. We have target lock.Copy !req
1530. Awaiting your order, General.Copy !req
1531. Sorry, Samson.Copy !req
1532. Artillery!Copy !req
1533. On my mark...Copy !req
1534. Something's happening to it.Copy !req
1535. Ventronic Red is go!Copy !req
1536. Ventronic Gold is go!Copy !req
1537. Ventronic Blue is go!Copy !req
1538. Nuh-uh...
Not saying that shit.Copy !req
1539. I remember that fuckin' thing.Copy !req
1540. Sgt. Gold, get us down there!Copy !req
1541. Henchman Blue,
get ready to grab that building.Copy !req
1542. Easy, Godzilla!Copy !req
1543. That's my house!Copy !req
1544. Sorry! Sorry!
I've never driven a...Copy !req
1545. giant arm before!Copy !req
1546. Hatred, back it up!Copy !req
1547. I don't know if I can hold it!Copy !req
1548. Monarch!
Help me out here!Copy !req
1549. Help how?
I'm a fucking clown!Copy !req
1550. Yeah, ya can say that again.Copy !req
1551. "You can say that again."
Fuck you!Copy !req
1552. Do these things even do anything?Copy !req
1553. General?
Are we firing, or...?Copy !req
1554. Belay that order!Copy !req
1555. By golly, they have a fightin' chance!Copy !req
1556. Artillery!
Switch to harpoon cannons!Copy !req
1557. Snoopy!Copy !req
1558. Find somewhere safe to put her down!Copy !req
1559. We're goin' in!Copy !req
1560. Yeah!Copy !req
1561. Is this...
real life?Copy !req
1562. Are we moving back?Copy !req
1563. We...Copy !req
1564. We did it!Copy !req
1565. Monarch?Copy !req
1566. Monarch?Copy !req
1567. Dude, are you awake?Copy !req
1568. Oh, my God, he's really hurt!Copy !req
1569. Medic!
We need a medic here!Copy !req
1570. Medic!Copy !req
1571. No, I'm not that kind of doctor, but...Copy !req
1572. Jesus, look at that!Copy !req
1573. My Dad clearly wants him dead.Copy !req
1574. - Boys? What are you doing here?
- Well, where should we be?Copy !req
1575. If we were home right now...
home wouldn't be.Copy !req
1576. What're you all standing around for?Copy !req
1577. We gotta get this thing off him.Copy !req
1578. Everybody!
On three!Copy !req
1579. One...Copy !req
1580. Two...Copy !req
1581. Three!Copy !req
1582. That's a lotta blood!Copy !req
1583. B...
Blood?Copy !req
1584. - No, no, no, no, no!
- I seen a lotta battlefield injuries.Copy !req
1585. That is a ruptured liver right there!Copy !req
1586. Sergeant!
I can enter the inter-dimensional etherCopy !req
1587. and procure a liver from
one of Mr. Monarch's other dimensional selves,Copy !req
1588. returning with the organ
before this event has transpired!Copy !req
1589. P... P...
Please don't kill me!Copy !req
1590. What?
Now, why would I...?Copy !req
1591. I got bit back in Chicago.Copy !req
1592. I can feel the change coming.Copy !req
1593. I don't wanna be a vampire!Copy !req
1594. Boy, you got nicked by my necklaceCopy !req
1595. when I tackled your ass, is all.Copy !req
1596. Hey...Copy !req
1597. Always gotta make it about you.Copy !req
1598. All I can smell is blood!Copy !req
1599. I have a liver!
I have a liver!Copy !req
1600. What the hell is that?
That's disgusting.Copy !req
1601. It has inverted.Copy !req
1602. The time shift part inverts matter.Copy !req
1603. - My bad.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
1604. You guys, he's totally dying!
What do we do?Copy !req
1605. I can fix him.Copy !req
1606. There.
You're vanquished.Copy !req
1607. And I guess I'm a hero for saving the Guild.Copy !req
1608. These records will be intercepted by O.S.I.Copy !req
1609. Case closed.Copy !req
1610. And I'm set up with a sweet villain gig?Copy !req
1611. I already have costume ideas!Copy !req
1612. The Peril Partnership will be expecting you.Copy !req
1613. Daisy'll fly you to
their Toronto headquarters.Copy !req
1614. It's time you lived up to your pedigree.Copy !req
1615. You make me sound like a poodle.Copy !req
1616. Or a...
Or a Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen!Copy !req
1617. Stupidest dog name.Copy !req
1618. Don't drink that!
Watch and Ward pee in bottles.Copy !req
1619. That's probably pee.Copy !req
1620. When guys get comfortable somewhere,Copy !req
1621. they always start peeing in bottles.Copy !req
1622. What is wrong with them?Copy !req
1623. Who the hell knows?Copy !req
1624. Hey, how long does your...
invisible blood last?Copy !req
1625. Like another day or so?
Why?Copy !req
1626. Do you wanna go do invisible stuff
and freak people out?Copy !req
1627. No, I gotta go get my husb...Copy !req
1628. Sorry, just a sec, these are...Copy !req
1629. Venture's DNA results from the mug.Copy !req
1630. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1631. The Phantom of the Guild!Copy !req
1632. The legends are true!Copy !req
1633. My dad...Copy !req
1634. What a dick.Copy !req
1635. I mean our dad.Copy !req
1636. Crazy, right?Copy !req
1637. Yep.Copy !req
1638. It figures.Copy !req
1639. I swear, we should've expected this.Copy !req
1640. Yeah, I...Copy !req
1641. wasn't expecting this.Copy !req
1642. I had done this before, when I was younger,Copy !req
1643. but it was quite messy this time.Copy !req
1644. I...
I didn't have my gloves with me...Copy !req
1645. All stitched up!
He'll be fine.Copy !req
1646. They're just finishing up
the blood transfusion.Copy !req
1647. I was so worried.Copy !req
1648. I'm just glad he had his brother's blood.Copy !req
1649. Brother's blood?
That's what you guys think?Copy !req
1650. - Brothers?
- They are not brothers?Copy !req
1651. They are not brothers.Copy !req
1652. They're the same guy.Copy !req
1653. Or clones of the same guy, at least.Copy !req
1654. Other than a pinch of baboon DNA
we spliced into R-22Copy !req
1655. to counteract the premature balding,
they're identical.Copy !req
1656. They're both Rusty clones.Copy !req
1657. Monarch has baboon in him?Copy !req
1658. - Cool!
- Two percent!Copy !req
1659. I told Jonas,
"Don't put that monkey junk in there,Copy !req
1660. it'll make him more aggressive,"
but did he listen?Copy !req
1661. No.Copy !req
1662. Pawned R-22 off on that Morpho couple.Copy !req
1663. Couldn't have kids of their own,
poor bastards.Copy !req
1664. Felt sorry for 'em.Copy !req
1665. Where are the boys?Copy !req
1666. I gotta blow their little minds.Copy !req
1667. Again.Copy !req
1668. How's my king butterfly?Copy !req
1669. S... Sweetie?
W... Where are you?Copy !req
1670. I'm...
invisible.Copy !req
1671. Your ex-girlfriend?Copy !req
1672. Yeah, she gave me some of her blood.Copy !req
1673. It should wear off soon.Copy !req
1674. I...
I'm so sorry about all that.Copy !req
1675. Every stupid idea I have, I just...
I just dig in.Copy !req
1676. You dig in.
I know who you are, baby.Copy !req
1677. So you know I'm Dr. Venture...
plus baboon?Copy !req
1678. Fuckin' baboon.Copy !req
1679. You are The Monarch.Copy !req
1680. That Dr. Venture makes my skin crawlCopy !req
1681. and you make feel like
the luckiest person alive.Copy !req
1682. You're not the same.Copy !req
1683. So, what now?Copy !req
1684. Spent my entire life arching...
me.Copy !req
1685. I'm pathetic.Copy !req
1686. Honey, you're a Greek myth.Copy !req
1687. You're pitted in the eternal battleCopy !req
1688. against the worst aspects of yourself.Copy !req
1689. The Guild,
it can't touch a rivalry like that.Copy !req
1690. He's all yours, if ya want.Copy !req
1691. Or...Copy !req
1692. maybe I should just...Copy !req
1693. give this all up.Copy !req
1694. It's your choice.Copy !req
1695. I'll stand by you either way.Copy !req
1696. Tell me what to do.Copy !req
1697. Hey, kid, wanna give you something.Copy !req
1698. Your Grandpap gave me this
before your dad was born.Copy !req
1699. Is it more dumb news?Copy !req
1700. You gonna tell me who my mom isn't?Copy !req
1701. Nah, just a watch.Copy !req
1702. GMT Master, Venture blue dial.Copy !req
1703. Tells the time in two time zones.Copy !req
1704. It's heavy.Copy !req
1705. Yeah, that fourth hand there?
Little date window?Copy !req
1706. Those are called complications.Copy !req
1707. Complications make a watch special.Copy !req
1708. The more complications, the more valuable.Copy !req
1709. Read the engraving
Jonas put on the back there.Copy !req
1710. "EE-LIE-GHEE TUA"?Copy !req
1711. Close enough.Copy !req
1712. It's Latin for "choose your family."Copy !req
1713. Blood doesn't make a family.
Love does.Copy !req
1714. Your Grandpap knew that.Copy !req
1715. Choose your family.Copy !req
1716. And remember that
complications make it special.Copy !req
1717. Well, yeah,
surprisingly uncomfortable, but...Copy !req
1718. Okay, so...
who is our mom?Copy !req
1719. Seriously, Dean, haven't we hadCopy !req
1720. enough family history for one day?Copy !req
1721. I don't even know who my mom is.Copy !req
1722. All you need to know is that the personCopy !req
1723. who gave birth to you loves you.Copy !req
1724. I promise they do.Copy !req
1725. I love you, Pop.Copy !req
1726. Watch the arm, son.Copy !req
1727. Come on!
Who did that?Copy !req
1728. Who's there?Copy !req
1729. Feel the sting of The Mighty Monarch!Copy !req
1730. Yes!
We are back!Copy !req
1731. Mark my words!Copy !req
1732. I will get you, Dr. Venture!Copy !req
1733. You can't hide from the villainous wrathCopy !req
1734. of your better self!Copy !req
1735. I am radiant and vitalizedCopy !req
1736. by the blood of the ferocious baboon!Copy !req
1737. Now somebody call me an Uber!Copy !req
1738. I knew this was coming.Copy !req
1739. Brock, aren't you gonna get him?Copy !req
1740. Yeah, I've had enough for tonight.Copy !req
1741. I'ma just get him an Uber.Copy !req
1742. Pwned!Copy !req
1743. Well, looks like they're about done, Helper.Copy !req
1744. Are you ready to meet The Venture Brothers?Copy !req