The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

1. Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984.

2. Melvin Junko, a mop-wielding healthclub janitor,

3. a scrawny, skinny, weakling, wimp of a nerd

4. fell into a misplaced barrel of toxic chemical waste.

5. Melvin was suddenly transformed into a hideously deformed creature

6. of super-human size and strength.

7. He became the Toxic Avenger,

8. the first super-hero from New Jersey.

9. The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie, as he is affectionately called,

10. went on to crush crime,

11. beat corruption

12. and blast chemical waste in his hometown of Tromaville.

13. After cleaning-up Tromaville,

14. in 1988, the Toxic Avenger rose

15. from beneath the rubble of retirement

16. to challenge the evil chairman of Apocalypse Incorporated.

17. Toxie's awesome adventure to abolish the abominable Apocalypse

18. took him on an outrageous odyssey to Japan,

19. where Toxie continued to crush crime.

20. In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual disciplines of Sumo wrestling.

21. And the power, beauty and grace of Sumo

22. made him better able to rip bad people's heads off.

23. Now, evil has returned to Tromaville.

24. And you are about to witness what may be...

25. I can't make up my mind. I can't make up my mind.

26. - Oy, Lionstein. - What?

27. How many times I have to tell you?

28. You don't put Redneck Zombies in with the Walt Disneys.

29. Did you see the Redneck Zombies? That was gruesome.

30. Gruesome! You want gruesome, you should see my mother-in-law. That's gruesome.

31. Drop those video cassettes or I'll blow your brains out!

32. My boy, my boy, my boy.

33. Listen up. Listen up good, cause we got some big news for youse.

34. - You got it. - You guys suck.

35. Pick up the phone. Please pick up the phone.

36. Please, please don't hurt me, I'll do anything

37. I'll do anything you want. Just don't hurt me.

38. What do you guys want? - Shut the hell up!

39. There's too much variety in this store.

40. Now that this is a Company town,

41. you're all gonna rent Company tapes. Right?

42. No!

43. That's right. From now on, only the top twenty video tapes

44. will be available in this store.

45. The Top Five: The Apocalypse Self-Improvement tapes from Apocalypse Inc.

46. But we like variety. We like having a lot of choices.

47. We don't want just top twenty. We like those movies from Troma.

48. Screw Troma movies.

49. Wait a minute. Do you want variety?

50. Do you want choice?

51. Well there's plenty of variety here.

52. MGM, Columbia and Paramount.

53. And we're the Warner Brothers.

54. Tear it up!

55. No!

56. Please pick up the phone!

57. It's amazing how they make this cardboard piece of shit

58. look real.

59. This piece of shit!

60. No! No.

61. Look what they're doing.

62. You know dude, you don't have much intestinal fortitude.

63. Oy, oy, oy.

64. Tore your guts out. Skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou my darling.

65. Excuse me folks. How about checking out our adult section?

66. Good looking guy.

67. Very good.

68. Very good, very good.

69. Hey faggot!

70. You talking to me?

71. That's the way. Hit him. Kick him.

72. Alright.

73. People of Tromaville, The Toxic Avenger is back...

74. and better than ever.

75. The Toxic Avenger's back.

76. He's a real man.

77. Thank you. Thank you Toxie, you saved us.

78. Yeah. But it was a rough day, even for a hideously deformed creature

79. of super-human size and strength.

80. What a mensch.

81. Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back—

82. fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste.

83. But it wasn't always that way.

84. Who would believe that just a few short months ago

85. I had actually joined the forces of evil.

86. I had actually broken my oath to protect the little people of Tromaville.

87. I, the Toxic Avenger, had become a bad dude.

88. A toxic trouble-maker.

89. It's a long and grueling story.

90. So you better sit back.

91. This is how it all began.

92. On the surface, everything seemed terrific.

93. Tromaville was safe, Tromaville was happy, Tromaville was prosperous.

94. This period became known as "The Golden Age of Tromaville."

95. My mom was really proud of the fact that everybody in Tromaville liked me.

96. It's wonderful!

97. My mom was even prouder of the fact

98. that Claire, my non-seeing girlfriend

99. who, you remember in Toxic Avenger Part Two,

100. was now going to be my fiancée

101. and live with me forever in Toxic Avenger Part Three.

102. You got any change?

103. Mommy's little Melvin had finally grown up.

104. There you are.

105. Good day, Officer Lloyd.

106. Yes, on the surface, everything seemed wonderful.

107. But deep inside of me were swirling feelings of horrible, horrible insecurity.

108. I was now twenty-five years old.

109. But who was I?

110. What was I?

111. Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil,

112. but now I had nothing to do.

113. There weren't even any parking tickets to give out.

114. I'm in.

115. I, the Toxic Avenger,

116. was reduced to preventing old ladies

117. from cheating at cards.

118. Naughty, naughty.

119. Or, occasionally, I found myself trying to get naughty children

120. Excuse me ma'am— to eat their lima beans.

121. I couldn't even do that right.

122. Oh brother.

123. How low could a super-hero go?

124. Claire and I were living in the same old dump.

125. I wasn't bringing in any money as a super-hero

126. and I became a terrible burden

127. living off Claire's welfare check.

128. Claire had a brilliant career going as a dental hygienist

129. and she was making very good money.

130. Until one day she had a tragic accident

131. involving mouthwash... rendering her blind.

132. Hi honey, I'm home. We got the welfare check.

133. I think I'm losing my edge, Claire.

134. Oh, Toxie, don't say that.

135. If only that Lavoris hadn't splashed in my eyes,

136. I could see to help you.

137. Aw, if I could only see.

138. Ahha! Wait, wait a minute.

139. I don't believe this. Wait a, wait a minute!

140. Wait a minute!

141. You're gonna see.

142. Dr. Ron Goldberg says that your sight can be restored.

143. "Dear blind person:

144. "conditions caused by retinitis pigmentosa

145. "found in association with the wide angle glaucoma

146. "may now be successfully treated

147. due to the modification of the argon laser."

148. I can't believe it. I can't believe it!

149. This procedure has been perfected on cave bats.

150. It's been tested on them in labs and fifty percent of them lived.

151. Ah! I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

152. Uh oh.

153. Um...

154. There's a catch.

155. It doesn't matter Melvin, it's worth anything!

156. Three hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars?

157. I...

158. I actually thought I would be able to see.

159. Oh well.

160. It was a nice dream, anyway.

161. I thought at last I was gonna be able to see my dear sweet Melvin.

162. Gee... I'm not so sure you'd like what you'd see.

163. Oh Melvin, I just know I would.

164. You're the nicest boy I ever met.

165. I just know you're handsome.

166. What's the matter, baby?

167. Nothing.

168. I just don't want to lose you.

169. C'mon, we don't know this operation is dangerous.

170. And besides, at that price, it's only a dream

171. unless I win the Tromaville Times' Rich and Famous Sweepstakes.

172. I'm happy just the way I am.

173. I look at it this way, I'll never have to see uglinesss

174. or war or poverty or pollution

175. or the Cheverolet Nova.

176. No way.

177. This time we're gonna get you that operation,

178. 'cause I'm gonna get that job.

179. You're going to get a job and I'm going to be able to see.

180. Because of my love for Claire, I took the only job available.

181. The most horrifying and humiliating job known to mankind.

182. The Toxic Avenger...

183. I became a representative of the Internal Revenue Service.

184. Hello, taxman's here.

185. Hey.

186. Hey, hey!

187. Stop it. Stop. Stop throwing things. Cut it out. Watch out.

188. Oh. Oh. Ow!

189. Go back home. Go back to the jungle where you belong.

190. Since Claire and I were failing in the material world,

191. we decided to spend more time devoting ourselves

192. to the spiritual world.

193. Do not be tempted by evil.

194. The reading for today is from Mathew four, verse eight and nine, and I quote:

195. "The Devil taketh Jesus up unto an exceedingly high mountain

196. "and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world.

197. "And the Devil sayeth unto him:

198. "'All these things I will give thee

199. if thou wilt kneel down and worship me."

200. Thus endeth the lesson.

201. I was so depressed and insecure

202. that I began having nightmares.

203. Phoo! Man! Where's my deodorant?

204. Hi guy. Hey, you do stink.

205. But that deodorant's not going to help you.

206. Remember me?

207. It's Melvin, the way you used to be

208. before you fell into that toxic waste

209. and became a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength.

210. Look at ya, ya bum. Ya can't even get a job.

211. I had a job, even though I was a mop boy at a health spa. Look at ya!

212. Tromaville doesn't need you anymore.

213. I betcha can't even get it up, can ya? I betchya can't even get a woody.

214. I could always get it up, even though I was always alone.

215. Give me a shot at Claire. I wanna boff her.

216. C'mon man, c'mon. Let me boff her

217. and show you what a real man can do.

218. Homo, wimp, geek. I oughta kill you.

219. All these things I will give thee if thou will fall down and work for me.

220. Look at you. You can't get a job. You're a bum. You can't get a job.

221. You can't get a job. You can't get a job. You can't get a job.

222. Let me boff Claire. Let me boff Claire. Let me boff Claire. C'mon.

223. Melvin, what is it? What is it Melvin?

224. Oh, it was horrible. It was horrible. I couldn't stop falling.

225. I just kept falling and falling. I couldn't stop.

226. Oh, poor Melvin. You're very frustrated.

227. What can I do to relieve you, baby?

228. - Claire? - Yes, Melvin?

229. Where's my blanky?

230. Right here, Melvin.

231. I know it always makes you feel better, Toxie.

232. While my depression and insecurity led me to experience

233. unbelievably realistic nightmares,

234. they were only nightmares.

235. But across the river,

236. in the big city,

237. there was a giant corporation called Apocalypse Incorporated,

238. and it was creating nightmarish reality.

239. My good news

240. is that the newly formed Five Families Federation

241. has successfully used their drug networks

242. to sell radioactive grenades to all the third world countries.

243. Our pilot program in the North Seas is going well.

244. We're dumping thirty tons of PCB's per week.

245. And even better, we're dumping seventy-five tons

246. of radioactive isotopes per day

247. in the Atlantic.

248. An excellent record.

249. I am pleased to report that our profits from the A.L.S.,

250. the Above Land Subsidiary,

251. is real good.

252. And we are now pumping massive doses of radiation

253. high in the sky.

254. Of course there are still some Sierra Club sissies in Congress

255. who are afraid of contamination up there in space.

256. But we all know that's baloney, right?

257. - Yeah! - Right!

258. I think that at this point, if there's anyone that we still can't buy off, well...

259. we'll just have to do away with them.

260. Good. Very good. Yes. Excellent.

261. Thank you. Very impressive...

262. for a bunch of rank amateurs!

263. Who do you think you're talking to here?

264. I'm going for something bigger than that.

265. Now, ever since we lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger,

266. Apocalypse Incorporated has been

267. treading water, going nowhere.

268. Am I getting through to you? Is-is there something that's unclear?

269. - No. -No. -No - No!

270. Good. Then it's settled then.

271. You know what I want ladies and gentlemen.

272. Toxic Avenger delendus est.

273. Claire gave me an appreciation of her most important hobby, music.

274. And I gave her an appreciation of my favorite pastime...

275. video games.

276. And she learned to play very skillfully

277. by ear.

278. Hey, Toxie baby. How's it hanging?

279. See this new video game, Five Levels of Doom?

280. It kicks!

281. Meanwhile, at the headquarters of Apocalypse Incorporated,

282. the plot was thickening

283. and I was to be the cornstarch.

284. Silence!

285. With all the evil, rotten, corrupt,

286. despicably low people in the world,

287. why is it so difficult for me to get some help? Mmm?

288. Well..it's because... I mean... I tried... to find... and I...

289. Stop babbling, Malfaire!

290. You better get your own Toxic Avenger on the payroll boss.

291. Mmmm... we can work with that.

292. We can work with that.

293. Ah, with some clever maneuvering.

294. We can have this monster working on our very own payroll.

295. Have the legal department draw up a contract.

296. But how are you going to convince him to work with us?

297. Aah! No beast so fierce

298. but knows a touch of pity.

299. Mmm?

300. He has a girlfriend, does he not? - Ah hah.

301. And that girlfriend needs an eye operation, doesn't she?

302. Yeah

303. Two eyes coming up.

304. As my emotional tailspin spiralled downward,

305. the radioactive chemicals inside my body were going nuts.

306. Finally, I decided to end it all.

307. Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars by donating my body to science.

308. But even at suicide, I was a toxic flop.

309. Oh, Melvin. How could you even think of taking your own life?

310. I know. It's these chemicals.

311. They've taken over my life.

312. What am I saying? I don't have a life,

313. I have a half-life.

314. What's to become of me?

315. Of us?

316. Don't talk like that Melvin.

317. It scares me.

318. Anyway,

319. this came for you while you were gone.

320. It smells important.

321. It's probably more bad news.

322. They probably want to repossess this dump.

323. Here, you read it.

324. Okay.

325. It says, uh,

326. you, you just won the Nobel Peace Prize

327. and ah. the Tromaville Times Rich and Famous Sweepstakes

328. and they're going to give you your own Toxic Avenger TV show.

329. What?

330. Give me that you crazy, silly goose.

331. Dear out-of-work Super-Hero.

332. Great opportunity?

333. High salary?

334. Benefits out of this world?

335. What is it, Melvin?

336. It's a job opportunity.

337. They want me to—

338. to represent their company and be their spokesman or something.

339. I can't believe it.

340. Claire, this is what I've been praying for.

341. I'm so exited. Yeah!

342. Look, I'd better jump over there right now.

343. But Melvin, you should put on a fresh tutuuuuu...

344. Mr. Chairman,

345. Mr. Chairman.

346. The Toxic Avenger is here

347. and his smelly mop is dripping

348. all over our reception area.

349. Melvin Junko!

350. Yes sir, That's me, sir.

351. Right on time. And you brought your resumé.

352. Uh, yes sir, right here. Whoah!

353. Health club mop boy, mm, good.

354. First super-hero from New Jersey, even better.

355. Special skill, leaping relatively tall buildings with a running start

356. and playing video games.

357. Fantastic, very impressive.

358. Mr. Junko, we're looking for a special person

359. to be the spokesman for the Apocalypse Corporation.

360. Someone with charm, charisma and a nice appearance

361. to act as ah, the spokesman

362. and to spread the good news of our policies to the people.

363. Just what are your policies?

364. Our policy, Mr.

365. giving, that's our policy.

366. Giving to the people what they want.

367. Giving to the people what they need.

368. fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko.

369. That's what I've always done best.

370. But you ask yourself,

371. How?

372. It's just words, but how do you do it?

373. By building,

374. by growing, by taking small towns like Tromaville

375. and revitalizing them into thriving industrial metropolises.

376. But I always thought Tromaville was nice the way it was.

377. But any place can be nicer. Everything can be better.

378. I mean, don't we all strive for more? Don't you deserve more?

379. I am a man of wealth and taste.

380. I want for you— wealth and...

381. your taste is something we can work on.

382. Melvin Junko, come on up!

383. Look out there, my boy.

384. Let me show you your future.

385. Ta da!

386. Toxic shock!

387. No, no, no, no. No toxic shock.

388. Just your imagination set free.

389. Look out there, Melvin. More than you've ever dreamed of.

390. A proud shining world

391. with a Porsche in every driveway.

392. Chicken McNuggets in every pot. And you,

393. you Melvin, smack dab in the middle of it

394. with more than you ever wished for. Loved by millions the world over.

395. You will be more popular than the Beatles and Elvis combined.

396. That sounds like an awful lot on minumum wage.

397. Who said minimum wage? Did I say minimum wage? I didn't say minimum wage.

398. Melvy, baby,

399. what self-respecting, hideously deformed

400. creature of super-human size and strength

401. works for peanuts? Hmm?

402. Uh, none I guess.

403. Melvy, you're a star, bubbale.

404. All these things I will give thee

405. if thou will fall down and work for me. Hmm?

406. Work for me.

407. Where have I heard that before?

408. Work for me. Work for me.

409. Work for me. Work for me.

410. Work for me.

411. Where have I heard that before?

412. Must be some sort of flashback from that

413. Iron Maiden concert I was at when I was fifteen.

414. Now this is no flashback.

415. Three hundred and fifty-seven thousand dollars.

416. And it's all yours.

417. Count it, boy. Smell it.

418. I bet a smart kid like you could put it to good use.

419. Buy something nice for your girlfriend.

420. Something she's had her... eye on?

421. Her eyes, I could pay for her operation!

422. You got a deal Mr. Chairman.

423. Just sign on the dotted line, right here.

424. Woops. Sorry the pen slipped.

425. Welcome aboard and ah...

426. we'll see you on ah, Monday.

427. Oh, and ah, Melvin

428. Yes, Mr. Chairman?

429. Get rid of that mop.

430. It looks like hell.

431. Here comes Mommy, Melvin.

432. Melvin it's your mommy.

433. I brought all your favorite snacks. Melvin!

434. Wait a second, Mom. I'm on the bowl.

435. I'll be right there.

436. Just let me wipe.

437. Darling, what's that smell?

438. Whoo! it stinks in here.

439. Melvin, have you been eating properly?

440. You look mighty thin to me.

441. Mom, Mom, never mind that, mom.

442. Look, look look at this. I got my own business card.

443. Your own card.

444. Why, Mr. Melvin Junko, assistant to the Chairman!

445. Yeah Mom, isn't it great!

446. And Mom, I get to make special appearences.

447. And I get to talk to people.

448. And I get to use all my charm just like you taught me, Mom.

449. Oooh, it's wonderful!

450. Oh Mom, I almost forgot the best part.

451. The pièce de résistance,

452. the bank book.

453. Your own bank book?

454. What?

455. Three hundred and fifty-seven thousand dollars?

456. Oh, I don't believe it.

457. And mom, feel the numbers. I had them raised so Claire could feel them.

458. Aw, you're such a darling boy. You're so sweet.

459. Now we can get Claire that eye operation she needs.

460. And a microwave oven for me!

461. Oh, I'm so proud of you darling!

462. I love you Mommy.

463. I love you too darling.

464. Oh, but Claire, I think I should stay here with you.

465. And miss your first day at work?

466. Oh, Melvin. It's okay.

467. It's just going to be tests today, anyway.

468. And I have the doctor and Mother Junko here.

469. It'll be okay.

470. That's right, Mr. Junko. Don't you worry about a thing.

471. I'll take good are of her.

472. He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of the country club.

473. Are you sure you want me to go, Claire?

474. Oh, Melvin. I love you.

475. I love you too, Claire.

476. And I'll be back for the operation.

477. Ladies and gentlemen,

478. You haven't waited for nothing.

479. Soon you'll be in the presence of a real leader.

480. And here he is.

481. Right on time.

482. And he's brought you a special surprise,

483. a new employee, whom you all know and love.

484. Someone you and I can trust and depend on.

485. Someone who really knows how to clean up this town.

486. Hi everyone. Hi Mom.

487. Now citizens, the Chairman.

488. Hello, how ya doin'? Hi, how are ya?

489. Hi people of Tromaville.

490. Hi everybody. Hi mom.

491. Hi everybody.

492. Look, I got a job.

493. Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville:

494. Listen to me. Before you pass any quick judgements,

495. who are you going to listen to?

496. A bunch of whining environmentalists,

497. who claim to be so afraid of toxic waste,

498. when we know

499. that waste is the natural by-product

500. of every organic process.

501. Or, are you going to listen to me?

502. The one who cares enough about you... and your families

503. to build for you a new and better Tromaville.

504. No. Up yours, up yours!

505. On so noble an enterprise as this,

506. a profit there will be.

507. Yes ladies and gentlemen,

508. dioxin means dollars.

509. Chemicals are cash.

510. Say it to yourselves.

511. Hold it down, hold it down. Just listen.

512. Ahh! Ohh!

513. He knows what he's talking about.

514. I know that some of you out there seem to think

515. that chemicals are bad.

516. I submit to you, you are chemicals.

517. Everything is made of chemicals.

518. And join me now in embracing dioxin

519. and all her sister chemicals

520. and everything they represent.

521. Happiness,

522. prosperity,

523. life.

524. That, people of Tromaville,

525. is the Apocalypse way.

526. On my first big day working for Apocalypse,

527. I was so excited about my good fortune

528. that I didn't notice that the Tromavillians

529. were actually hostile to the Chairman.

530. Had I known then what I know now about the evil excesses of capitalism

531. and the power elite, I surely would never have joined Apocalypse Incorporated

532. but I didn't even read Mad Magazine much less Forbes,

533. or the Wall Street Journal.

534. How was I to know that the true agenda for Apocalypse, Incorporated

535. was to take over Tromaville

536. and enslave its people?

537. No. No. No. No!

538. Let go of her. Let go, ow!

539. I have to admit, I did think that it was a bit strange

540. that the Apocalypse employees in the gas masks

541. were beating my friends senseless

542. and dragging away even my mother into rehabilitation camps.

543. But the chairman said that these were just the usual malcontents

544. who turn-up for any cause or function;

545. just there to interfere with progress.

546. And I bought it hook, line and sinker.

547. When my new company put the children to work making agent orange

548. and other toxic chemicals, they told me it was a wonderful thing

549. because all the children would be earning minimum wage.

550. And besides, it would develop their small motor skills.

551. And they would really learn their primary colors.

552. Come on. Get up. Get up.

553. So you think this is going to be the new home for the blind, do ya?

554. Well, you're wrong. This is the new nerve gas dump site.

555. Looks great. I better go check out our boy.

556. How's he doing? - Okay. Let's see.

557. Mmmh. That's not so heavy.

558. There you go.

559. Be careful.

560. One of my responsibities was to get the Tromavillians

561. to join the Apocalypse Incorporated Self-Improvement Seminars.

562. I did everything I could to help these volunteers

563. find their way to the right classrooms.

564. Stop pushing! Stay in line.

565. - There you go. - Thanks.

566. Apocalypse Incorporated

567. had me doing a little bit of everything. - Have a nice day.

568. C'mon, c'mon. Watch your step.

569. We'll tear down these crummy homes.

570. Yeah, they're in the way of the nuclear missile silo.

571. Thanks potato head. - Bye Bye!

572. Why don't you nail that sign down the block.

573. Have a nice day.

574. Nurse, would you dispose of this please.

575. Of course doctor.

576. Thank you.

577. Melvin Junko?

578. Melvin? - Yes Claire. I'm here.

579. Doctor?

580. I'm over here Claire... I'm over here, relax.

581. Mother Junko?

582. I'm here dear.

583. Melvin?

584. Yoo-hoo.

585. Claire, nothing to be afraid of.

586. You're going to be seeing all those wonderful things very soon.

587. Just hold very still.

588. I don't want to poke your new eyes out

589. with these scissors.

590. Hold very still. I'm getting there.

591. Just another moment. - Melvin?

592. Just another moment.

593. Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them.

594. Okay, very very slowly.

595. Very slowly.

596. That's it.

597. That's it. That's it Claire.

598. Melvin it's too horrible.

599. No Claire, calm down. Melvin's over there.

600. Melvin?

601. Melvin. Melvin, you're beautiful.

602. Claire. You can see. You can finally see.

603. I can see. This is the happiest day of my life.

604. Oh Melvin. Oh darling!

605. Look at this beautiful place Ohh I love it

606. Ohh, Ohh look at all these beautiful things

607. Ohh, ohh

608. Roses I recognize them by the smell

609. Ohh baby The roses I can see them

610. I can see, look Ohh they're so beautiful

611. Ohh, Ohh Everything is so pretty

612. Whoa, What's this?

613. Ohh, This is so beautiful

614. Well that's Tide its a detergent

615. Ohh Melvin I just love it

616. Look over here

617. What's this?

618. So Exquisite

619. So perfect

620. Now that is a dust ball

621. Whose that man? That's Benjamin Franklin

622. He's my hero

623. But he's so old and wrinkly I like the way you look

624. You look so rugged and handsome

625. Oh, squeeze me. Oh, squeeze me. Oh, squeeze me.

626. Oh, Melvy!

627. Oh, squeeze me baby.

628. Oh that's right baby.

629. No I want to see everything.

630. So this is your big, beautiful love machine.

631. Yes. That's one of the advantages of being a hideously deformed creature

632. of super-human size and strength.

633. Oh, that's nice. Hold still.

634. Oh touch me! Touch me!

635. Oh, honey, oh!

636. Yes!

637. I love you.

638. I guess I won't need these canes anymore.

639. When this land-fill is created,

640. it will be the largest chromium waste dump

641. within a thousand miles.

642. The Toxic Avenger

643. is one of Apocalypse's most promising young executives.

644. Yea! - Yeah.

645. Well done, Melvin.

646. - Yeah! - Yea.

647. Melvin. Here honey, I made your favorite breakfast.

648. Radioactive oatbran.

649. Melvin? Melvin!

650. Melvin!

651. Your breakfast is ready, sweetie.

652. Heey. No time babe.

653. Anyway, I gotta do an egg with the chairman this morning!

654. like wow, okay, look at this.

655. Waste Vacuum's up three pointers.

656. Huh?

657. Hey, hey. Don't be so glum.

658. Soon, it's the weekend.

659. We'll do brunch. What are you gonna do this morning, babe?

660. Well, I thought I'd take a nice long walk...

661. and go over and see the environmentalists.

662. They want me to help them save the Tromaville bird santuary.

663. But Melvin, what kind of talk is that?

664. "Do an egg. Do brunch."

665. That doesn't sound like New Jersey talk to me.

666. That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know?

667. But listen, I got to go, go, go!

668. So, like he said, okay. S'okay? Okay. So listen, I got to go.

669. Oh. Kisses and hugs. Remember, you gotta go, go, go!

670. Heh, hey. Yeah! Ooo, I gotta check that tutu.

671. There it is. There it is! It looks great.

672. Bye-bye. Heh, heh, heh, hah.

673. Babe?

674. Do an egg?

675. Waste Vacuum?

676. Mmm.

677. Can you believe it?

678. I don't know.

679. Oh my God!

680. Hey girls. What's up? - Hey, hey. - Give me some.

681. The worst of it was poor Claire.

682. The operation opened her eyes

683. just in time to see her beloved Tromaville

684. overrun with the parasites of corporate greed

685. and the vermin of political corruption.

686. - Huh! - And I was the cause of it.

687. C'mon over here baby.

688. - How much will it take to get both of you off the street? Whoah! - Lousy pimp!

689. What's going on here? Hey you hookers. Get out of here.

690. Yes sir. Yes sir.

691. Leave this young man alone. Whaddya think your doin' here!

692. You, you, you, you and you gotta— ah— go— ooo—

693. C'mon. C'mon. Don't you know the babes are checked. C'mon. Move it!

694. Echh!

695. Vomit break. Vomit break.

696. C'mon. Puke or die, you bastards.

697. Get it up. let's go. C'mon, c'mon. Wheel out that stomach.

698. C'mon, c'mon. Alright. Tromavillian Aaaah. Go Home, puke,

699. come back in 20 minutes. I don't want to see anybody without puke stains on 'em.

700. Before I knew it, I'd become a toxic yuppie on the fast track.

701. The Tromavillians tried to put on a brave face,

702. and made the best of their mutated environment.

703. But what does one feed to a creature that is half frog and half duck?

704. Worse yet, what would you call it?

705. Listen. Listen! I don't care if she's 80.

706. If she doesn't have the rent at the end of the month,

707. I want her out of there.

708. Larry, bubbale, baby! How are ya?

709. Melvin. I want to talk to you.

710. Can't it wait? I'm on the phone.

711. No.

712. Well, I gotta go. Claire's being a nudge.

713. Ah, yes.

714. Melvin, something's very wrong.

715. This company you're working for,

716. I think they're doing evil things.

717. Don't be silly.

718. You've changed so much, lately.

719. You seem so different.

720. You're just not yourself, lately.

721. Well, yes, but... how could you badmouth Apocalypse?

722. I mean, c'mon. If it wasn't for them,

723. you would still be stumbling around on that cane.

724. I know,

725. but I'd rather be, I'd rather be blind in heaven

726. than sighted in hell.

727. Tromaville's being destroyed.

728. And all you can do is listen to executapes morning, noon and night.

729. Melvin,

730. I think someone is trying to brainwash you.

731. I don't have to listen to this garbage.

732. You just remember, I signed that contract for YOU!

733. And I gave up my blindness

734. to see you get involved in a plot to pollute the world!

735. Haah!

736. What about all the people who counted on you to clean-up evil?

737. What about all the kids who believed in you?

738. What about all those people in reel 9 of the first movie

739. who stood up for you?

740. What about the messengers, Melvin? You're their hero.

741. What about all those marvelous people out there in the dark?

742. What about your favorite patriots, Melvin?

743. Is life so dear, or peace so sweet

744. as to be purchased at the price of slavery?

745. I know not what course others may take... but as for me,

746. Give me liberty, or give me death!

747. I'm outta here.

748. Just walk out the door and...

749. and turn your back on humanity.

750. Phooey on you, toxic traitor.

751. Boo, toxic bad guy.

752. Pick on Donald Trump.

753. Why don't you go out to Exxon.

754. I felt that my whole world was caving in around me.

755. I went to my favorite place to sit and think:

756. the junkyard.

757. Coming to this place had always comforted me.

758. But now, the old cars,

759. the headlights were staring at me.

760. The grills were grinning and mocking me.

761. Oh, oh, oh. Whoah, whoah.

762. 300 and 57,000 dollars. It's all yours.

763. 300... ... ... for you. - 300 and 57,000 dollars, its all yours.

764. Wooh, ha, ha, ha. - Whoah.

765. All these things...

766. Whoa... whoa...

767. Let me boff Claire.

768. Whoa, oh, oh...

769. Let me boff Claire...

770. We won't rescue you... let me boff Claire.

771. $357, OOO. Ha, Ha, Ha.

772. $357, OOO. $357, OOO. Ha, ha, ha.

773. All this can be yours! If you will work for me.

774. All this,

775. if you will fall down and worship me!

776. Wait a minute! You said worship me.

777. You said worship me!

778. Not work for me.

779. Where have I heard that before?

780. All these things I will give thee,

781. if thou wilt kneel down and worship me!

782. Oh, nooo!

783. Nooo!

784. How could I have thought that I was helping Tromaville?

785. How could I have been so deluded?

786. Oh, I can't believe it.

787. Claire was right.

788. What have I done?

789. Have I sold my soul?

790. What have I become?

791. I'm evil. Evil.

792. How can I face her again?

793. What can I say to make it up to her?

794. I can't believe it.

795. Claire,

796. Claire,

797. Claire,

798. Claire.

799. Wake up.

800. Wake up.

801. Melvin, what's wrong?

802. You're shaking.

803. Don't worry. I'll be alright.

804. I think your eye operation has helped me to see.

805. You were right.

806. Apocalypse is evil.

807. They do horrible things.

808. I've got to stand up and fight them.

809. But how? How are you going to do that?

810. Well, the sumos taught me

811. that when you face a formidable opponent,

812. you must make the first move.

813. I'm so proud of you, baby.

814. But how will you fight Apocalypse?

815. How will I fight them?

816. How will I fight them? How will I fight them?

817. The old fashioned way, that's how!

818. Oh, Melvin!

819. Well, that's the whole, horrible, terrible truth.

820. What a mensch!

821. But now I was ready to make amends.

822. Now I would show the good people of Tromaville

823. that they could look up to me once again as their very own,

824. newly reformed, hideously deformed, super-hero.

825. But first I had to earn their respect.

826. As quick as my two feet would take me,

827. I was out there giving them my toxic all.

828. The Toxic Avenger is coming.

829. Melvin's back.

830. The Toxic Avenger is back

831. The Toxic Avenger's coming.

832. Melvin, bbbbbb.

833. Thank you for saving my dog. Toxie.

834. Here's your doggie, good junior citizens.

835. Helping to undo all the horrible wrongs I had committed

836. during my descent into the Chairman's clutches.

837. But now, I was ready to confront the evil chairman on his own turf.

838. I would mop up the evil in Tromaville

839. and make room for "The Toxic Avenger Part Four!"

840. Aah, my new assistant.

841. Still carrying that mop I see.

842. Here to ah, clean up the new headquarters?

843. Ha, ha, ha...

844. Here to clean 'em out!

845. Ho, ho. It was a joke!

846. Melvin, Melvin, Melvin. What's wrong?

847. I thought, uh, we were partners. You and I had a deal, hm-hm?

848. Toxic Avenger doesn't deal with evil.

849. Well, well. I think our boy knows something.

850. I think I know who you are!

851. - Whooo. - A contract is a contract.

852. And you're a man of your word.

853. Right, Melvinnnnn!

854. I don't care about your dumb contract.

855. We want you out of Tromaville.

856. Good citizens of Tromaville, Apocalypse is through.

857. Chairman, you're history.

858. Yes, Melvin.

859. I am history. Ah, ha, ha, ha. ha...

860. - What's happening? - Oh my God, - Look at that!

861. Oh, you still don't realize

862. whom you're dealing with, do you?

863. See me as I am!

864. Ahhrgh!

865. Stay back. Stay back.

866. - Whoo! Ooo, what fun!

867. Oh, oh, my purpose! Ooo!

868. Ooo...

869. Ewww!

870. I'm totally confused.

871. Oh! The Devil.

872. Ah, ha, ha, ha.

873. Yewch!

874. You are one ugly amphibian.

875. Alright, Junko.

876. Let's party.

877. No problem. I meant to do that.

878. What will it be? Dark places?

879. Magic swords?

880. Choose your weapon and your arena.

881. Oh, I know.

882. You play video games, don't you Melvin?

883. I'm going to show you the Five Levels of Doom.

884. Earth,

885. wind,

886. fire,

887. water

888. and the last one.

889. But nobody gets to the last one anyway.

890. Then let the battle begin.

891. Ready or not, here we go!

892. Oooo. Level One: Earth.

893. Oh, Melvy!

894. Oh, oh. I don't believe it!

895. Oh no, oh!

896. This is one load of toxic waste that won't stay buried.

897. Hey you! Hey normal face!

898. Get him! I'll give you a thousand dollars to run that guy over.

899. Wait, the budget for this movie is only two million.

900. Thirty! Thirty dollars... I'll give you thirty dollars to run over that guy.

901. Get him! Get him! Run him over now.

902. Melvin, watch out!

903. Stop! Stop it!

904. The Devil has paralyzed me, I can't move.

905. I can't move! - Save my son.

906. Melvin!

907. Huh? - Oh.

908. That's my son.

909. Ah! You did it!

910. Mmmh. Nice work, Mevlin.

911. But now, we're up to level two.

912. A personal favorite of mine...

913. Fire.

914. I'll turn Tromaville into ashes.

915. Have a taste of hell.

916. Oh please, carry the water.

917. Please, put him out. Water!

918. Please, somebody help.

919. Oh no we're out of water.

920. C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry.

921. Now I'm pissed.

922. Your friends save you.

923. But can you save your friends?

924. Oh, see the little children getting on the school bus.

925. It's fun and games time.

926. Don't make a fuss. Leave the driving to us.

927. All aboard.

928. Melvin look!

929. They're all going my way.

930. No, not the children.

931. Your battle is with me.

932. Safety first kids.

933. Hold on kiddies, we're going through a curve.

934. Stay calm good citizen.

935. Da dum, da da de dum, da dum, da dum...

936. This is so good. - Marvelous. -Yeah good.

937. This is good pie.

938. That's pork, Rabbi!

939. Hey look!

940. No!

941. What?

942. No.

943. Watch out.

944. No.

945. Watch out. Get out of the way.

946. Oy.

947. Gotcha.

948. C'mon, c'mon. Break some legs, let's go!

949. No, Nooo

950. That got 'em

951. Don't be frightened. I'm coming!

952. How do you like this level of Doom?

953. Wind.

954. Oh, give up now Melvin, and they live.

955. Never.

956. Let's go.

957. - Help! - Help! - Help! - Help! - Help!

958. I've got to save 'em.

959. Ow, uh, ouch, ow, oh...

960. No!

961. Have no fear children. Toxic's here!

962. I can't do this. I'm not Superman.

963. I got it!

964. Don't just stand there, Malfaire. Shoot him!

965. Aw, it's jammed.

966. There. Alright, everybody out. Quick! Move it.

967. Fall bus fall.

968. Hurry. The bus is about to fall.

969. Thanks Toxie.

970. There you go.

971. Thank you Melvin.

972. Don't mention it Glenn.

973. Get out now or you won't be around to see how this movie ends.

974. Hurry. C'mon.

975. I'm melting.

976. The witch is dead. Yeah!

977. Ding dong, the witch is dead. - Yay!

978. Melvin! Yay!

979. Oh my God, the Devil's fixing the bus.

980. He's putting it back together again.

981. What's going on?

982. Ah, you may have left Malfaire flat.

983. But now you will perish, Avenger.

984. This next level of Doom is a doosie.

985. Water.

986. Stop that bus.

987. Banzai.

988. You devil you.

989. Don't slip you.

990. Hang on Melvin.

991. Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs.

992. - Oh no. - No! - Oh no, no!

993. - Yah! - Yay! - Yeah.

994. Oh God.

995. It's an old Sumo trick.

996. They use it whenever they're in a runaway school bus

997. that plunges into a deadly pool of

998. muddy, murky water.

999. 'Scuse me. Excuse me, people. Get out of the way.

1000. I've gotta clean up this dirty mess in Tromaville.

1001. You are becoming an annoying horsefly.

1002. But swatting time is here.

1003. I bring you, courtesy of hell,

1004. the final level of Doom.

1005. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

1006. And I...

1007. am going to waste yours.

1008. Stop it! Stop it!

1009. What's happening to me? I don't feel so well.

1010. You ought to treat those boils.

1011. Oh, what's the matter, Melvin? Got a headache?

1012. No!

1013. Losing weight the easy way, Melvin.

1014. Pull yourself together, Melvin.

1015. Oh, no. Oh Toxie.

1016. Oh no. No!

1017. Oh, my God. What's happening to Toxie?

1018. Melvin, Melvie. Melvie!

1019. Claire, Mommy, Claire.

1020. Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'.

1021. Mommy!

1022. Mommy! What happened to me? What happened to me?

1023. Oy vey! You look just like your father.

1024. Oh, my poor boy.

1025. Melvin, Melvin, here's your Sumo diaper.

1026. Put it on. Put it on this way.

1027. Maybe this will help you.

1028. Remember what your sumo friends taught you?

1029. Remember?

1030. Oh, little Melvin. You don't even know where you are.

1031. Are you in Tromaville? Are you in Japan?

1032. Where are you?

1033. Oh look, look. Little Melvin. Your girlfriend wants to help.

1034. I denounce you, Satan.

1035. Oh! Oh my God! My eyes. I'm blind.

1036. I'm blind again.

1037. Help me. Melvin.

1038. Melvin.

1039. Melvin.

1040. It's your mother. Melvin.

1041. Ooo, what are doing to her?

1042. After all, a boy's best friend is his mummy.

1043. If only I could find that contract.

1044. Ah, if I could find that contract

1045. then maybe I could help Melvin.

1046. I don't know where he put it.

1047. If I could just find that contract

1048. then we could clean this whole thing up.

1049. Get out of my way, worm.

1050. Look. Look at him.

1051. Look what's become of the Toxic Avenger.

1052. He's back to the sniveling mop boy

1053. you all made fun of.

1054. Where's that braille version of the contract Toxie made for me?

1055. If I could just find that contract,

1056. then we could clean up this mess.

1057. That's it.

1058. Aw, look. Isn't he ready for destruction?

1059. Aren't you tired of this pink tutu'd pansy?

1060. We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman!

1061. And ve're tired of vat you're company is doing to our Tromaville!

1062. We're tired of ground water pollution.

1063. And your sludge.

1064. And the PCBs!

1065. We're tired of your filthy lawyers and accountants

1066. and we're fed up with your perverted investment bankers.

1067. The Toxic Avenger has always played fair with us.

1068. And he's the only toxic waste we need around here.

1069. If you want him, you've got to go through us.

1070. This town has never had it so good.

1071. I order you to go back to your hovels

1072. and jump in your beds.

1073. I just might be willing to forget all this

1074. and let you show up for work tomorrow.

1075. Please let us through.

1076. Claire has found a way out of the contract.

1077. Excuse me. Excuse me. She's found an escape clause.

1078. Please let me through.

1079. Claire has found a way out.

1080. Oh, oh my God. There's an escape clause.

1081. You, you tell them about it.

1082. It's very important.

1083. The force majeure states:

1084. "Clause Eleven: Termination.

1085. "The employee's obligations hereunder

1086. "shall remain in full force and effect for all enternity.

1087. "However, said obligations shall be terminated,

1088. "and this agreement shall be rendered immediately null and void,

1089. upon a miraculous act of God."

1090. And God is in the hearts of the people.

1091. It's an escape clause. It's an escape clause!

1092. What about this?

1093. It's an escape clause, see? What about that, huh?

1094. So where is He?

1095. On vacation in the Grand Bahamas?

1096. I don't see Him around protecting His interests.

1097. I'm the only one interested in this dirty little town.

1098. And you're yesterday's waste, pal.

1099. Excuse me, excuse me.

1100. Message for Mr. Junko.

1101. I have a message for Mr. Junko.

1102. Urgent message for Mr. Melvin Junko.

1103. Can't you see we're busy here?

1104. I think this takes priority.

1105. No one takes priority over me.

1106. Oh?

1107. Ahum, ahum, ahum.

1108. Um, maybe one.

1109. Let's get the hell outta here.

1110. Cheese it, it's the big guy. Let's get out of here.

1111. Claire. Claire.

1112. Madonna mia. Gott in himmel. Was ist das?

1113. It's raining.

1114. It's wonderful.

1115. It feels tingly on my body.

1116. It's nectar from God.

1117. It's some healing liquid.

1118. Oh, it's sweet, it's sour, it's warm.

1119. What's happening little Melvin?

1120. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening?

1121. Melvin, what, what... oh!

1122. Beautiful Melvin.

1123. Oh, Melvin you're back.

1124. You're back Melvin, oh!

1125. There's my son.

1126. I can see. I can see.

1127. I am back. But now I feel like kickin' some devil ass.

1128. This has gone on long enough, Devil.

1129. I think it's about time that somebody put the fear of God in you.

1130. Be reasonable. Think of what you're giving up, Melvin.

1131. That's Mr. Melvin to you!

1132. Oy Gevalt!

1133. Oh! This is more disgusting than General Hospital.

1134. Are you okay?

1135. Up you go reverend.

1136. Gee whiz!

1137. I've only had my eyes a short time

1138. and already I've seen everything.

1139. I do.

1140. Then I now pronounce you man...

1141. uh, monster and wife.

1142. You may now kiss the bride.

1143. Oh, my baby boy.

1144. Oooo.

1145. Thank you.

1146. I'm so delighted. Thank you.

1147. So me and Mommy... and Claire

1148. walked off into that toxic sunset.