1. Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984.Copy !req
2. Melvin Junko, a mop-wielding
healthclub janitor,Copy !req
3. a scrawny, skinny, weakling,
wimp of a nerdCopy !req
4. fell into a misplaced barrel of
toxic chemical waste.Copy !req
5. Melvin was suddenly transformed
into a hideously deformed creatureCopy !req
6. of super-human size and strength.Copy !req
7. He became the Toxic Avenger,Copy !req
8. the first super-hero
from New Jersey.Copy !req
9. The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie,
as he is affectionately called,Copy !req
10. went on to crush crime,Copy !req
11. beat corruptionCopy !req
12. and blast chemical waste in his
hometown of Tromaville.Copy !req
13. After cleaning-up Tromaville,Copy !req
14. in 1988, the Toxic Avenger roseCopy !req
15. from beneath
the rubble of retirementCopy !req
16. to challenge the evil chairman
of Apocalypse Incorporated.Copy !req
17. Toxie's awesome adventure to abolish
the abominable ApocalypseCopy !req
18. took him on an outrageous
odyssey to Japan,Copy !req
19. where Toxie continued
to crush crime.Copy !req
20. In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual
disciplines of Sumo wrestling.Copy !req
21. And the power, beauty
and grace of SumoCopy !req
22. made him better able
to rip bad people's heads off.Copy !req
23. Now, evil has
returned to Tromaville.Copy !req
24. And you are about to witness
what may be...Copy !req
25. I can't make up my mind.
I can't make up my mind.Copy !req
26. - Oy, Lionstein.
- What?Copy !req
27. How many times I have to tell you?Copy !req
28. You don't put Redneck Zombies
in with the Walt Disneys.Copy !req
29. Did you see the Redneck Zombies?
That was gruesome.Copy !req
30. Gruesome! You want gruesome, you should
see my mother-in-law. That's gruesome.Copy !req
31. Drop those video cassettes
or I'll blow your brains out!Copy !req
32. My boy, my boy,
my boy.Copy !req
33. Listen up. Listen up good, cause we
got some big news for youse.Copy !req
34. - You got it.
- You guys suck.Copy !req
35. Pick up the phone.
Please pick up the phone.Copy !req
36. Please, please don't hurt me,
I'll do anythingCopy !req
37. I'll do anything you want.
Just don't hurt me.Copy !req
38. What do you guys want?
- Shut the hell up!Copy !req
39. There's too much
variety in this store.Copy !req
40. Now that this
is a Company town,Copy !req
41. you're all gonna
rent Company tapes. Right?Copy !req
42. No!Copy !req
43. That's right. From now on,
only the top twenty video tapesCopy !req
44. will be available in this store.Copy !req
45. The Top Five: The Apocalypse
Self-Improvement tapes from Apocalypse Inc.Copy !req
46. But we like variety.
We like having a lot of choices.Copy !req
47. We don't want just top twenty.
We like those movies from Troma.Copy !req
48. Screw Troma movies.Copy !req
49. Wait a minute.
Do you want variety?Copy !req
50. Do you want choice?Copy !req
51. Well there's plenty of variety here.Copy !req
52. MGM, Columbia and Paramount.Copy !req
53. And we're the Warner Brothers.Copy !req
54. Tear it up!Copy !req
55. No!Copy !req
56. Please pick up the phone!Copy !req
57. It's amazing how they make
this cardboard piece of shitCopy !req
58. look real.Copy !req
59. This piece of shit!Copy !req
60. No! No.Copy !req
61. Look what they're doing to him!Copy !req
62. You know dude, you don't
have much intestinal fortitude.Copy !req
63. Oy, oy, oy.Copy !req
64. Tore your guts out. Skip to my Lou,
skip to my Lou my darling.Copy !req
65. Excuse me folks.
How about checking out our adult section?Copy !req
66. Good looking guy.Copy !req
67. Very good.Copy !req
68. Very good, very good.Copy !req
69. Hey faggot!Copy !req
70. You talking to me?Copy !req
71. That's the way.
Hit him. Kick him.Copy !req
72. Now don't touch that dial.Copy !req
73. Alright.Copy !req
74. People of Tromaville,
The Toxic Avenger is back...Copy !req
75. and better than ever.Copy !req
76. The Toxic Avenger's back!Copy !req
77. He's a real man.Copy !req
78. Thank you.
Thank you Toxie, you saved us.Copy !req
79. Yeah. But it was a rough day,
even for a hideously deformed creatureCopy !req
80. of super-human size and strength.Copy !req
81. What a mensch.Copy !req
82. Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back—Copy !req
83. fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste.Copy !req
84. But it wasn't always that way.Copy !req
85. Who would believe that
just a few short months agoCopy !req
86. I had actually joined
the forces of evil?Copy !req
87. I had actually broken my oath
to protect the little people of Tromaville.Copy !req
88. I, the Toxic Avenger, had
become a bad dude.Copy !req
89. A toxic trouble-maker.Copy !req
90. It's a long and grueling story.Copy !req
91. So you better sit back.Copy !req
92. This is how it all began.Copy !req
93. On the surface,
everything seemed terrific.Copy !req
94. Tromaville was safe, Tromaville was happy,
Tromaville was prosperous.Copy !req
95. This period became known as
"The Golden Age of Tromaville."Copy !req
96. My mom was really proud of the fact
that everybody in Tromaville liked me.Copy !req
97. It's wonderful!Copy !req
98. My mom was
even prouder of the factCopy !req
99. that Claire,
my non-seeing girlfriendCopy !req
100. who, you remember in
Toxic Avenger Part Two,Copy !req
101. was now going
to be my fiancéeCopy !req
102. and live with me forever
in Toxic Avenger Part Three.Copy !req
103. You got any change?Copy !req
104. Mommy's little Melvin
had finally grown up.Copy !req
105. There you are.Copy !req
106. Good day, Officer Lloyd.Copy !req
107. Yes, on the surface, everything
seemed wonderful.Copy !req
108. But deep inside of me were swirling
feelings of horrible, horrible insecurity.Copy !req
109. I was now twenty-five years old.Copy !req
110. But who was I?Copy !req
111. What was I?Copy !req
112. Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil,Copy !req
113. but now I had nothing to do.Copy !req
114. There weren't even any parking tickets
to give out.Copy !req
115. I'm in.Copy !req
116. I, the Toxic Avenger,Copy !req
117. was reduced to
preventing old ladiesCopy !req
118. from cheating at cards.Copy !req
119. Naughty, naughty.Copy !req
120. Or, occasionally, I found myself trying
to get naughty childrenCopy !req
121. Excuse me ma'am—
to eat their lima beans.Copy !req
122. I couldn't even do that right.Copy !req
123. Oh brother.Copy !req
124. How low could a super-hero go?Copy !req
125. Claire and I were living in
the same old dump.Copy !req
126. I wasn't bringing in any money
as a super-heroCopy !req
127. and I became a terrible burdenCopy !req
128. living off Claire's welfare check.Copy !req
129. Claire had a brilliant career going
as a dental hygienistCopy !req
130. and she was making
very good money.Copy !req
131. Until one day
she had a tragic accidentCopy !req
132. involving mouthwash...
rendering her blind.Copy !req
133. Hi honey, I'm home.
We got the welfare check.Copy !req
134. I think I'm losing my edge, Claire.Copy !req
135. Oh, Toxie, don't say that.Copy !req
136. Oh,Copy !req
137. If only that Lavoris
hadn't splashed in my eyes,Copy !req
138. I could see to help you.Copy !req
139. Oohhh!Copy !req
140. If I could only see.Copy !req
141. Wait, wait a minute.Copy !req
142. I don't believe this.
Wait a, wait a minute!Copy !req
143. Wait a minute!Copy !req
144. You're gonna see.Copy !req
145. Dr. Ron Goldberg says
that your sight can be restored.Copy !req
146. "Dear blind person:Copy !req
147. "conditions caused by
retinitis pigmentosaCopy !req
148. "found in association
with the wide angle glaucomaCopy !req
149. "may now be successfully treatedCopy !req
150. due to the modification
of the argon laser."Copy !req
151. I can't believe it.
I can't believe it!Copy !req
152. This procedure has been perfected on
cave bats.Copy !req
153. It's been tested on them in labs and
fifty percent of them lived.Copy !req
154. Ah! I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.Copy !req
155. Uh oh.Copy !req
156. Um...Copy !req
157. There's a catch.Copy !req
158. It doesn't matter Melvin,
it's worth anything!Copy !req
159. Three hundred and fifty seven
thousand dollars?Copy !req
160. I...Copy !req
161. I actually thought I would
be able to see.Copy !req
162. Oh well.Copy !req
163. It was a nice dream, anyway.Copy !req
164. I thought at last I was gonna be able
to see my dear sweet Melvin.Copy !req
165. Gee... I'm not so sure
you'd like what you'd see.Copy !req
166. Oh Melvin, I just know I would.Copy !req
167. You're the nicest boy
I ever met.Copy !req
168. I just know you're handsome.Copy !req
169. What's the matter, baby?Copy !req
170. Nothing.Copy !req
171. I just don't want to lose you.Copy !req
172. C'mon, we don't know
this operation is dangerous.Copy !req
173. And besides, at that price,
it's only a dreamCopy !req
174. unless I win the Tromaville Times'
Rich and Famous Sweepstakes.Copy !req
175. I'm happy the way I am.Copy !req
176. I look at it this way: I'll never have to see uglinesssCopy !req
177. or war or poverty or pollutionCopy !req
178. or the Cheverolet Nova.Copy !req
179. No way.Copy !req
180. This time we're gonna get
you that operation,Copy !req
181. 'cause I'm gonna get that job.Copy !req
182. You're going to get a job and I'm going
to be able to see!Copy !req
183. Because of my love for Claire, I took
the only job available.Copy !req
184. The most horrifying and humiliating
job known to mankind.Copy !req
185. The Toxic Avenger...Copy !req
186. I became a representative
of the Internal Revenue Service.Copy !req
187. Hello, taxman's here.Copy !req
188. Hey.Copy !req
189. What - Hey, hey!Copy !req
190. Stop it! Stop - stop throwing things.
Cut it out. Watch out!Copy !req
191. Ah. Oh. Ow!Copy !req
192. Go back home.
Go back to the jungle where you belong.Copy !req
193. Since Claire and I were failing in the material worldCopy !req
194. We decided to spend more time devoting ourselves... to the spiritual worldCopy !req
195. Do not be tempted by evil!Copy !req
196. The reading for today is from Matthew 4, verse 8 and 9, and I quote,Copy !req
197. "The Devil taketh Jesus up unto an exceedingly high mountain,Copy !req
198. and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world,Copy !req
199. and the Devil sayeth unto him,Copy !req
200. 'All these things I will give thee if thou wilt kneel down and worship me.' "Copy !req
201. I was so depressed and insecureCopy !req
202. That I began having nightmares!Copy !req
203. Ooh wee!Copy !req
204. Where's my deodorant?Copy !req
205. Hi, guy! *sniff* Hey, you do stink!Copy !req
206. But that deodorant's not gonna help you!Copy !req
207. Remember me? It's Melvin, the way you used to be!Copy !req
208. Before you fell into that toxic waste
and became a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strengthCopy !req
209. Look at you, you bum!Copy !req
210. You can't even get a job!Copy !req
211. I had a job, even though I was a mop boy in a health spa.Copy !req
212. Look at you; Tromaville doesn't need you anymore!Copy !req
213. I bet you can't even get it up, can you?Copy !req
214. I bet you can't even get a woody!Copy !req
215. I could always get it up!Copy !req
216. Even though I was always alone...Copy !req
217. Give me a shot at Claire, I wanna boff herCopy !req
218. uh uh, come on man, come on, let me boff her, show you what a real man can do!Copy !req
219. Homo wimp geek! I oughtta kill you!Copy !req
220. Hey hey hey hey!Copy !req
221. All these things I will give theeCopy !req
222. if thou will fall down, it works for me!Copy !req
223. Look at you! You can't get a job!Copy !req
224. You're a bum!Copy !req
225. You can't get a job! You can't get a job! You can't get a job! You can't get a job!Copy !req
226. Let me boff Claire! Let me boff Claire! Let me boff Claire! Come on!Copy !req
227. Melvin! What is it?Copy !req
228. What is it, Melvin?Copy !req
229. OhCopy !req
230. It was horrible, it was horrible!Copy !req
231. I couldn't stop falling, I just kept fallingCopy !req
232. and falling, I couldn't stop!Copy !req
233. Oh poor Melvin, you're very frustrated, what can I do to relieve you, baby?Copy !req
234. Claire - Yes, Melvin?Copy !req
235. Where's my blankie?Copy !req
236. Right here, Melvin.Copy !req
237. OhCopy !req
238. OohhhhhhCopy !req
239. I know what always makes you feel better,
Toxie.Copy !req
240. While my depression and insecurity
led me to experienceCopy !req
241. unbelievably realistic nightmares,Copy !req
242. they were only nightmares.Copy !req
243. But across the river,Copy !req
244. in the big city,Copy !req
245. there was a giant corporation
called Apocalypse Incorporated,Copy !req
246. and it was creating
nightmarish reality.Copy !req
247. My good newsCopy !req
248. is that the newly formed
Five Families FederationCopy !req
249. has successfully used their
drug networksCopy !req
250. to sell radioactive
grenades to all the third world countries.Copy !req
251. Our pilot program in the North Seas
is going well.Copy !req
252. We're dumping thirty tons
of PCB's per week.Copy !req
253. And even better, we're
dumping seventy-five tonsCopy !req
254. of radioactive isotopes per dayCopy !req
255. in the Atlantic.Copy !req
256. An excellent record.Copy !req
257. I am pleased to report that
our profits from the A.L.S.,Copy !req
258. the Above Land Subsidiary,Copy !req
259. is real good.Copy !req
260. And we are now
pumping massive doses of radiationCopy !req
261. high in the sky.Copy !req
262. Of course there are still
some Sierra Club sissies in CongressCopy !req
263. who are afraid of
contamination up there in space.Copy !req
264. But we all know
that's baloney, right?Copy !req
265. - Yeah! - Right!Copy !req
266. I think that at this point, if there's
anyone that we still can't buy off, well...Copy !req
267. we'll just have
to do away with them.Copy !req
268. Good. Very good.
Yes. Excellent.Copy !req
269. Thank you.
Very impressive...Copy !req
270. for a bunch of rank amateurs!Copy !req
271. Who do you think
you're talking to here?Copy !req
272. I'm going for something
bigger than that.Copy !req
273. Now, ever since we
lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger,Copy !req
274. Apocalypse Incorporated has beenCopy !req
275. treading water, going nowhere.Copy !req
276. Am I getting through to you?
Is-is there something that's unclear?Copy !req
277. - No. -No. -No
- No!Copy !req
278. Good. Then it's settled then.Copy !req
279. You know what I want
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
280. Toxic Avenger delendus est.Copy !req
281. Claire gave me an appreciation of her
most important hobby, music.Copy !req
282. And I gave her an appreciation
of my favorite pastime...Copy !req
283. video games.Copy !req
284. And she learned to play
very skillfullyCopy !req
285. by ear.Copy !req
286. Hey, Toxie baby. How's it hanging?Copy !req
287. See this new video game,
Five Levels of Doom?Copy !req
288. It kicks!Copy !req
289. Meanwhile, at the headquarters of
Apocalypse Incorporated,Copy !req
290. the plot was thickeningCopy !req
291. and I was to be the cornstarch.Copy !req
292. Silence!Copy !req
293. With all the evil, rotten, corrupt,Copy !req
294. despicably low people in the world,Copy !req
295. why is it so difficult for me to
get some help? Mmm?Copy !req
296. Well..it's because... I mean...
I tried... to find... and I...Copy !req
297. Stop babbling, Malfaire!Copy !req
298. You better get your own Toxic Avenger
on the payroll boss.Copy !req
299. Mmmm... we can work with that.Copy !req
300. We can work with that.Copy !req
301. Ah, with some clever maneuvering.Copy !req
302. We can have this monster working on
our very own payroll.Copy !req
303. Have the legal department draw up a
contract.Copy !req
304. But how are you going to convince him
to work with us?Copy !req
305. Aah! No beast so fierceCopy !req
306. but knows a touch of pity.Copy !req
307. Mmm?Copy !req
308. He has a girlfriend, does he not?
- Ah hah.Copy !req
309. And that girlfriend needs
an eye operation, doesn't she?Copy !req
310. YeahCopy !req
311. Two eyes coming up.Copy !req
312. As my emotional tailspin
spiralled downward,Copy !req
313. the radioactive chemicals
inside my body were going nuts.Copy !req
314. Finally, I decided to end it all.Copy !req
315. Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars
by donating my body to science.Copy !req
316. But even at suicide,
I was a toxic flop.Copy !req
317. Oh, Melvin. How could you even think
of taking your own life?Copy !req
318. I know.
It's these chemicals.Copy !req
319. They've taken over my life.Copy !req
320. What am I saying?
I don't have a life,Copy !req
321. I have a half-life.Copy !req
322. What's to become of me?Copy !req
323. Of us?Copy !req
324. Don't talk like that Melvin.Copy !req
325. It scares me.Copy !req
326. Anyway,Copy !req
327. this came for you
while you were gone.Copy !req
328. It smells important.Copy !req
329. It's probably more bad news.Copy !req
330. They probably want to
repossess this dump.Copy !req
331. Here, you read it.Copy !req
332. Okay.Copy !req
333. It says, uh,Copy !req
334. you, you just won the
Nobel Peace PrizeCopy !req
335. and ah. the Tromaville Times
Rich and Famous SweepstakesCopy !req
336. and they're going to give you
your own Toxic Avenger TV show.Copy !req
337. What?Copy !req
338. Give me that you crazy,
silly goose.Copy !req
339. Dear out-of-work Super-Hero.Copy !req
340. Great opportunity?Copy !req
341. High salary?Copy !req
342. Benefits out of this world?Copy !req
343. What is it, Melvin?Copy !req
344. It's a job opportunity.Copy !req
345. They want me to—Copy !req
346. to represent their company
and be their spokesman or something.Copy !req
347. I can't believe it.Copy !req
348. Claire, this is what
I've been praying for.Copy !req
349. I'm so exited.
Yeah!Copy !req
350. Look, I'd better
jump over there right now.Copy !req
351. But Melvin, you should
put on a fresh tutuuuuu...Copy !req
352. Mr. Chairman,Copy !req
353. Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
354. The Toxic Avenger is hereCopy !req
355. and his smelly mop
is drippingCopy !req
356. all over our reception area.Copy !req
357. Melvin Junko!Copy !req
358. Yes sir, That's me, sir.Copy !req
359. Right on time.
And you brought your resumé.Copy !req
360. Uh, yes sir, right here.
Whoah!Copy !req
361. Health club mop boy,
mm, good.Copy !req
362. First super-hero from New Jersey,
even better.Copy !req
363. Special skill, leaping relatively
tall buildings with a running startCopy !req
364. and playing video games.Copy !req
365. Fantastic, very impressive.Copy !req
366. Mr. Junko, we're looking
for a special personCopy !req
367. to be the spokesman for
the Apocalypse Corporation.Copy !req
368. Someone with charm, charisma
and a nice appearanceCopy !req
369. to act as ah, the spokesmanCopy !req
370. and to spread the good news
of our policies to the people.Copy !req
371. Just what
are your policies?Copy !req
372. Our policy, Mr.Copy !req
373. giving, that's our policy.Copy !req
374. Giving to the people
what they want.Copy !req
375. Giving to the people what
they need.Copy !req
376. fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko.Copy !req
377. That's what
I've always done best.Copy !req
378. But you ask yourself,Copy !req
379. How?Copy !req
380. It's just words,
but how do you do it?Copy !req
381. By building,Copy !req
382. by growing, by taking
small towns like TromavilleCopy !req
383. and revitalizing them into
thriving industrial metropolises.Copy !req
384. But I always thought Tromaville was
nice the way it was.Copy !req
385. But any place can be nicer.
Everything can be better.Copy !req
386. I mean, don't we all strive for more?
Don't you deserve more?Copy !req
387. I am a man of wealth
and taste.Copy !req
388. I want for you— wealth
and...Copy !req
389. your taste is
something we can work on.Copy !req
390. Melvin Junko, come on up!Copy !req
391. Look out there, my boy.Copy !req
392. Let me show you your future.Copy !req
393. Ta da!Copy !req
394. Toxic shock!Copy !req
395. No, no, no, no.
No toxic shock.Copy !req
396. Just your
imagination set free.Copy !req
397. Look out there, Melvin. More than
you've ever dreamed of.Copy !req
398. A proud shining worldCopy !req
399. with a Porsche
in every driveway.Copy !req
400. Chicken McNuggets in every pot.
And you,Copy !req
401. you Melvin,
smack dab in the middle of itCopy !req
402. with more than you ever wished for.
Loved by millions the world over.Copy !req
403. You will be more popular than
the Beatles and Elvis combined.Copy !req
404. That sounds like an awful lot
on minumum wage.Copy !req
405. Who said minimum wage? Did I say
minimum wage? I didn't say minimum wage.Copy !req
406. Melvy, baby,Copy !req
407. what self-respecting,
hideously deformedCopy !req
408. creature of super-human
size and strengthCopy !req
409. works for peanuts? Hmm?Copy !req
410. Uh, none I guess.Copy !req
411. Melvy, you're a star, bubbale.Copy !req
412. All these things I will give theeCopy !req
413. if thou will fall down
and work for me. Hmm?Copy !req
414. Work for me.Copy !req
415. Where have I heard that before?Copy !req
416. Work for me.
Work for me.Copy !req
417. Work for me. Work for me.Copy !req
418. Work for me.Copy !req
419. Where have I
heard that before?Copy !req
420. Must be some sort
of flashback from thatCopy !req
421. Iron Maiden concert I was at
when I was fifteen.Copy !req
422. Now this is no flashback.Copy !req
423. Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars.Copy !req
424. And it's all yours.Copy !req
425. Count it, boy. Smell it.Copy !req
426. I bet a smart kid like you
could put it to good use.Copy !req
427. Buy something
nice for your girlfriend.Copy !req
428. Something she's
had her... eye on?Copy !req
429. Her eyes, I could pay for her operation!Copy !req
430. You got a deal Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
431. Just sign on the dotted line, right here.Copy !req
432. Woops. Sorry the pen slipped.Copy !req
433. Welcome aboard
and ah...Copy !req
434. we'll see you
on ah, Monday.Copy !req
435. Oh, and ah, MelvinCopy !req
436. Yes, Mr. Chairman?Copy !req
437. Get rid of that mop.Copy !req
438. It looks like hell.Copy !req
439. Here comes Mommy, Melvin.Copy !req
440. Melvin it's your mommy.Copy !req
441. I brought all your
favorite snacks. Melvin!Copy !req
442. Wait a second, Mom.
I'm on the bowl.Copy !req
443. I'll be right there.Copy !req
444. Just let me wipe.Copy !req
445. Darling, what's that smell?Copy !req
446. Whoo! it stinks in here.Copy !req
447. Melvin, have you been eating properly?Copy !req
448. You look mighty thin to me.Copy !req
449. Mom, Mom, never mind that, mom.Copy !req
450. Look, look look at this.
I got my own business card.Copy !req
451. Your own card.Copy !req
452. Why, Mr. Melvin Junko,
assistant to the Chairman!Copy !req
453. Yeah Mom, isn't it great!Copy !req
454. And Mom,
I get to make special appearences.Copy !req
455. And I get to talk to people.Copy !req
456. And I get to use all my charm
just like you taught me, Mom.Copy !req
457. Oooh, it's wonderful!Copy !req
458. Oh Mom, I almost forgot the best part.Copy !req
459. The pièce de résistance,Copy !req
460. the bank book.Copy !req
461. Your own bank book?Copy !req
462. What?Copy !req
463. Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars?Copy !req
464. Oh, I don't believe it.Copy !req
465. And mom, feel the numbers. I had them
raised so Claire could feel them.Copy !req
466. Aw, you're such a darling boy.
You're so sweet.Copy !req
467. Now we can get Claire
that eye operation she needs.Copy !req
468. And a microwave oven
for me!Copy !req
469. Oh, I'm so proud of you darling!Copy !req
470. I love you Mommy.Copy !req
471. I love you too darling.Copy !req
472. Oh, but Claire,
I think I should stay here with you.Copy !req
473. And miss your first day at work?Copy !req
474. Oh, Melvin. It's okay.Copy !req
475. It's just going
to be tests today, anyway.Copy !req
476. And I have the doctor
and Mother Junko here.Copy !req
477. It'll be okay.Copy !req
478. That's right, Mr. Junko.
Don't you worry about a thing.Copy !req
479. I'll take good are of her.Copy !req
480. He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of
the country club.Copy !req
481. Are you sure
you want me to go, Claire?Copy !req
482. Oh, Melvin. I love you.Copy !req
483. I love you too, Claire.Copy !req
484. And I'll be back
for the operation.Copy !req
485. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
486. You haven't waited for nothing.Copy !req
487. Soon you'll be in the presence
of a real leader.Copy !req
488. And here he is.Copy !req
489. Right on time.Copy !req
490. And he's brought you
a special surprise,Copy !req
491. a new employee,
whom you all know and love.Copy !req
492. Someone you and I can
trust and depend on.Copy !req
493. Someone who really knows how to clean
up this town.Copy !req
494. Hi everyone. Hi Mom.Copy !req
495. Now citizens, the Chairman.Copy !req
496. Hello, how ya doin'?
Hi, how are ya?Copy !req
497. Hi people of Tromaville.Copy !req
498. Hi everybody.
Hi mom.Copy !req
499. Hi everybody.Copy !req
500. Look, I got a job.Copy !req
501. Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville:Copy !req
502. Listen to me. Before you pass
any quick judgements,Copy !req
503. who are you going
to listen to?Copy !req
504. A bunch of
whining environmentalists,Copy !req
505. who claim to be
so afraid of toxic waste,Copy !req
506. when we knowCopy !req
507. that waste is
the natural by-productCopy !req
508. of every organic process.Copy !req
509. Or, are you
going to listen to me?Copy !req
510. The one who cares enough
about you... and your familiesCopy !req
511. to build for you
a new and better Tromaville.Copy !req
512. No.
Up yours, up yours!Copy !req
513. On so noble
an enterprise as this,Copy !req
514. a profit there will be.Copy !req
515. Yes ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
516. dioxin means dollars.Copy !req
517. Chemicals are cash.Copy !req
518. Say it to yourselves.Copy !req
519. Hold it down, hold it down.
Just listen.Copy !req
520. Ahh! Ohh!Copy !req
521. He knows
what he's talking about.Copy !req
522. I know that some of you out there
seem to thinkCopy !req
523. that chemicals are bad.Copy !req
524. I submit to you,
you are chemicals.Copy !req
525. Everything is made of chemicals.Copy !req
526. And join me now
in embracing dioxinCopy !req
527. and all her sister chemicalsCopy !req
528. and everything they represent.Copy !req
529. Happiness,Copy !req
530. prosperity,Copy !req
531. life.Copy !req
532. That, people of Tromaville,Copy !req
533. is the Apocalypse way.Copy !req
534. On my first big day
working for Apocalypse,Copy !req
535. I was so excited
about my good fortuneCopy !req
536. that I didn't notice
that the TromavilliansCopy !req
537. were actually
hostile to the Chairman.Copy !req
538. Had I known then what I know now about
the evil excesses of capitalismCopy !req
539. and the power elite, I surely would never
have joined Apocalypse IncorporatedCopy !req
540. but I didn't even read Mad Magazine
much less Forbes,Copy !req
541. or the Wall Street Journal.Copy !req
542. How was I to know that the true agenda
for Apocalypse, IncorporatedCopy !req
543. was to take over TromavilleCopy !req
544. and enslave its people?Copy !req
545. No. No. No.
No!Copy !req
546. Let go of her.
Let go, ow!Copy !req
547. I have to admit,
I did think that it was a bit strangeCopy !req
548. that the Apocalypse employees
in the gas masksCopy !req
549. were beating my friends senselessCopy !req
550. and dragging away even my mother
into rehabilitation camps.Copy !req
551. But the chairman said that these were
just the usual malcontentsCopy !req
552. who turn-up for any cause or function;Copy !req
553. just there to interfere with progress.Copy !req
554. And I bought it hook, line and sinker.Copy !req
555. When my new company put the children
to work making agent orangeCopy !req
556. and other toxic chemicals,
they told me it was a wonderful thingCopy !req
557. because all the children would
be earning minimum wage.Copy !req
558. And besides, it would develop
their small motor skills.Copy !req
559. And they would
really learn their primary colors.Copy !req
560. Come on. Get up. Get up.Copy !req
561. So you think this is going to be the new
home for the blind, do ya?Copy !req
562. Well, you're wrong.
This is the new nerve gas dump site.Copy !req
563. Looks great.
I better go check out our boy.Copy !req
564. How's he doing?
- Okay. Let's see.Copy !req
565. Mmmh. That's not so heavy.Copy !req
566. There you go.Copy !req
567. Be careful.Copy !req
568. One of my responsibities
was to get the TromavilliansCopy !req
569. to join the Apocalypse Incorporated
Self-Improvement Seminars.Copy !req
570. I did everything I could
to help these volunteersCopy !req
571. find their way
to the right classrooms.Copy !req
572. Stop pushing!
Stay in line.Copy !req
573. - There you go.
- Thanks.Copy !req
574. Apocalypse IncorporatedCopy !req
575. had me doing a little bit of everything.
- Have a nice day.Copy !req
576. C'mon, c'mon.
Watch your step.Copy !req
577. We'll tear down
these crummy homes.Copy !req
578. Yeah, like this
old silo.Copy !req
579. Thanks potato head.
- Bye Bye!Copy !req
580. Why don't you nail that sign
down the block.Copy !req
581. Have a nice day.Copy !req
582. Nurse, would you dispose of this please.Copy !req
583. Of course doctor.Copy !req
584. Thank you.Copy !req
585. Melvin Junko?Copy !req
586. Melvin?
- Yes Claire. I'm here.Copy !req
587. Doctor?Copy !req
588. I'm over here Claire...
I'm over here, relax.Copy !req
589. Mother Junko?Copy !req
590. I'm here dear.Copy !req
591. Melvin?Copy !req
592. Yoo-hoo.Copy !req
593. Claire, nothing to be afraid of.Copy !req
594. You're going to be seeing all those
wonderful things very soon.Copy !req
595. Just hold very still.Copy !req
596. I don't want to
poke your new eyes outCopy !req
597. with these scissors.Copy !req
598. Hold very still.
I'm getting there.Copy !req
599. Just another moment.
- Melvin?Copy !req
600. Just another moment.Copy !req
601. Keep your eyes closed
until I tell you to open them.Copy !req
602. Okay, very very slowly.Copy !req
603. Very slowly.Copy !req
604. That's it.Copy !req
605. That's it.
That's it Claire.Copy !req
606. Melvin it's too horrible.Copy !req
607. No Claire, calm down.
Melvin's over there.Copy !req
608. Melvin?Copy !req
609. Melvin. Melvin, you're beautiful.Copy !req
610. Claire. You can see.
You can finally see.Copy !req
611. I can see.
This is the happiest day of my life.Copy !req
612. Oh Melvin.
Oh darling!Copy !req
613. Look at this beautiful place we live in!Copy !req
614. Oh, I love it! Oh!Copy !req
615. Oh look at all these beautiful things!Copy !req
616. Oh god, oh!Copy !req
617. Roses!Copy !req
618. I recognize them by the smell!Copy !req
619. Oh, baby!Copy !req
620. These are roses, I can see them!Copy !req
621. I can see, look!Copy !req
622. Oh they're so beautiful!Copy !req
623. Oh, oh, everything's so pretty!Copy !req
624. What's this?Copy !req
625. Oh!Copy !req
626. This is so beautiful!Copy !req
627. Well that's Tide, it's a detergent.Copy !req
628. Oh Melvin I just love it!Copy !req
629. Look over here!Copy !req
630. What's this?Copy !req
631. It'sCopy !req
632. It's so exquisiteCopy !req
633. So perfectCopy !req
634. Heh hehCopy !req
635. Now that, is a dust ballCopy !req
636. Heh heh
- Oh!Copy !req
637. Heh heh!Copy !req
638. Who's that man?Copy !req
639. That's Benjamin FranklinCopy !req
640. He's my heroCopy !req
641. But he's so old and wrinklyCopy !req
642. I like the way you look!Copy !req
643. You look so...Copy !req
644. Rugged, and...Copy !req
645. HandsomeCopy !req
646. Oh baby. Oh, squeeze me.
Oh, squeeze me.Copy !req
647. Oh, Melvin!Copy !req
648. Oh, squeeze me baby.Copy !req
649. Oh that's right baby.Copy !req
650. No I want to see everything.Copy !req
651. Heh heh!Copy !req
652. Heh heh, heh hehCopy !req
653. So this is your big,
beautiful love machine.Copy !req
654. Yes. That's one of the advantages
of being a hideously deformed creatureCopy !req
655. of super-human size and strength.Copy !req
656. Oh, that's nice.
Hold still.Copy !req
657. Oh touch me!
Touch me!Copy !req
658. Oh, honey, oh!Copy !req
659. Yes!Copy !req
660. I love you.Copy !req
661. I guess I won't
need these canes anymore.Copy !req
662. When this land-fill is created,Copy !req
663. it will be the largest
chromium waste dumpCopy !req
664. within a thousand miles.Copy !req
665. The Toxic AvengerCopy !req
666. is one of Apocalypse's
most promising young executives.Copy !req
667. Yea!
- Yeah.Copy !req
668. Well done, Melvin.Copy !req
669. - Yeah!
- Yea.Copy !req
670. Melvin. Here honey,
I made your favorite breakfast.Copy !req
671. Radioactive oatbran.Copy !req
672. Melvin? Melvin!Copy !req
673. Melvin!Copy !req
674. Your breakfast is ready, sweetie.Copy !req
675. Heey. No time babe.Copy !req
676. Anyway, I gotta do an egg
with the chairman this morning!Copy !req
677. like wow, okay, look at this.Copy !req
678. Waste Vacuum's up
three pointers.Copy !req
679. Huh?Copy !req
680. Hey, hey. Don't be so glum.Copy !req
681. Soon, it's the weekend.Copy !req
682. We'll do brunch.
What are you gonna do this morning, babe?Copy !req
683. Well, I thought
I'd take a nice long walk...Copy !req
684. and go over and see the
environmentalists.Copy !req
685. They want me to help them save the
Tromaville bird santuary.Copy !req
686. But Melvin,
what kind of talk is that?Copy !req
687. "Do an egg. Do brunch."Copy !req
688. That doesn't sound
like New Jersey talk to me.Copy !req
689. That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know?Copy !req
690. But listen,
I got to go, go, go!Copy !req
691. So, like he said, okay. S'okay? Okay.
So listen, I got to go.Copy !req
692. Oh. Kisses and hugs. Remember, you
gotta go, go, go!Copy !req
693. Heh, hey. Yeah!
Ooo, I gotta check that tutu.Copy !req
694. There it is. There it is!
It looks great.Copy !req
695. Bye-bye. Heh, heh, heh, hah.Copy !req
696. Babe?Copy !req
697. Do an egg?Copy !req
698. Waste Vacuum?Copy !req
699. Mmm.Copy !req
700. Can you believe it?Copy !req
701. I don't know.Copy !req
702. Oh my God!Copy !req
703. Hey girls. What's up?
- Hey, hey. - Give me some.Copy !req
704. The worst of it was poor Claire.Copy !req
705. The operation opened her eyesCopy !req
706. just in time to see
her beloved TromavilleCopy !req
707. overrun with the parasites
of corporate greedCopy !req
708. and the vermin
of political corruption.Copy !req
709. - Huh!
- And I was the cause of it.Copy !req
710. C'mon over here baby.Copy !req
711. - How much will it take to get both of you
off the street? Whoah! - Lousy pimp!Copy !req
712. What's going on here? Hey you hookers.
Get out of here.Copy !req
713. Yes sir. Yes sir.Copy !req
714. Leave this young man alone.
Whaddya think your doin' here!Copy !req
715. You, you, you, you
and you gotta— ah— go— ooo—Copy !req
716. C'mon. C'mon. Don't you know
the babes are checked. C'mon. Move it!Copy !req
717. Echh!Copy !req
718. Vomit break. Vomit break.Copy !req
719. C'mon. Puke or die, you bastards.Copy !req
720. Get it up. let's go. C'mon, c'mon.
Wheel out that stomach.Copy !req
721. C'mon, c'mon. Alright. Tromavillian
Aaaah. Go Home, puke,Copy !req
722. come back in 20 minutes. I don't want
to see anybody without puke stains on 'em.Copy !req
723. Before I knew it, I'd become
a toxic yuppie on the fast track.Copy !req
724. The Tromavillians
tried to put on a brave face,Copy !req
725. and made the best
of their mutated environment.Copy !req
726. But what does one feed to a creature that
is half frog and half duck?Copy !req
727. Worse yet,
what would you call it?Copy !req
728. Listen. Listen!
I don't care if she's 80.Copy !req
729. If she doesn't have the rent
at the end of the month,Copy !req
730. I want her out of there.Copy !req
731. Larry, bubbale, baby!
How are ya?Copy !req
732. Melvin. I want to talk to you.Copy !req
733. Can't it wait?
I'm on the phone.Copy !req
734. No.Copy !req
735. Well, I gotta go.
Claire's being a nudge.Copy !req
736. Ah, yes.Copy !req
737. Melvin, something's very wrong.Copy !req
738. This company you're working for,Copy !req
739. I think they're doing evil things.Copy !req
740. Don't be silly.Copy !req
741. You've changed so much, lately.Copy !req
742. You seem so different.Copy !req
743. You're just not yourself, lately.Copy !req
744. Well, yes, but...
how could you badmouth Apocalypse?Copy !req
745. I mean, c'mon.
If it wasn't for them,Copy !req
746. you would still be
stumbling around on that cane.Copy !req
747. I know,Copy !req
748. but I'd rather be,
I'd rather be blind in heavenCopy !req
749. than sighted in hell.Copy !req
750. Tromaville's being destroyed.Copy !req
751. And all you can do is listen to executapes
morning, noon and night.Copy !req
752. Melvin,Copy !req
753. I think someone is trying to
brainwash you.Copy !req
754. I don't have to listen
to this garbage.Copy !req
755. You just remember, I signed that
contract for YOU!Copy !req
756. And I gave up my blindnessCopy !req
757. to see you get involved in a plot
to pollute the world!Copy !req
758. Haah!Copy !req
759. What about all the people who counted
on you to clean-up evil?Copy !req
760. What about all the kids
who believed in you?Copy !req
761. What about all those people
in reel 9 of the first movieCopy !req
762. who stood up for you?Copy !req
763. What about the messengers, Melvin?
You're their hero.Copy !req
764. What about all those marvelous people
out there in the dark?Copy !req
765. What about your
favorite patriots, Melvin?Copy !req
766. Is life so dear,
or peace so sweetCopy !req
767. as to be purchased
at the price of slavery?Copy !req
768. I know not what course
others may take... but as for me,Copy !req
769. Give me liberty,
or give me death!Copy !req
770. I'm outta here.Copy !req
771. Just walk out the door and...Copy !req
772. and turn your back on humanity.Copy !req
773. Phooey on you, toxic traitor.Copy !req
774. Boo, toxic bad guy.Copy !req
775. Pick on Donald Trump.Copy !req
776. Why don't you
go out to Exxon.Copy !req
777. I felt that my whole world was
caving in around me.Copy !req
778. I went to my favorite place
to sit and think:Copy !req
779. the junkyard.Copy !req
780. Coming to this place had
always comforted me.Copy !req
781. But now, the old cars,Copy !req
782. the headlights
were staring at me.Copy !req
783. The grills were grinning
and mocking me.Copy !req
784. Oh, oh, oh. Whoah, whoah.Copy !req
785. 300 and 57,000 dollars.
It's all yours.Copy !req
786. 300... ... ... for you.
- 300 and 57,000 dollars, its all yours.Copy !req
787. Wooh, ha, ha, ha.
- Whoah.Copy !req
788. All these things...Copy !req
789. Whoa... whoa...Copy !req
790. Let me boff Claire.Copy !req
791. Whoa, oh, oh...Copy !req
792. Let me boff Claire...Copy !req
793. We won't rescue you...
let me boff Claire.Copy !req
794. $357, OOO. Ha, Ha, Ha.Copy !req
795. $357, OOO.
$357, OOO. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
796. All this can be yours!
If you will work for me.Copy !req
797. All this,Copy !req
798. if you will fall down
and worship me!Copy !req
799. Wait a minute!
You said worship me.Copy !req
800. You said worship me!Copy !req
801. Not work for me.Copy !req
802. Where have I heard
that before?Copy !req
803. All these things I will give thee,Copy !req
804. if thou wilt kneel down
and worship me!Copy !req
805. Oh, nooo!Copy !req
806. Nooo!Copy !req
807. How could I have thought
that I was helping Tromaville?Copy !req
808. How could I have been so deluded?Copy !req
809. Oh, I can't believe it.Copy !req
810. Claire was right.Copy !req
811. What have I done?Copy !req
812. Have I sold my soul?Copy !req
813. What have I become?Copy !req
814. I'm evil.
Evil.Copy !req
815. How can I face her again?Copy !req
816. What can I say
to make it up to her?Copy !req
817. I can't believe it.Copy !req
818. Claire,Copy !req
819. Claire,Copy !req
820. Claire,Copy !req
821. Claire.Copy !req
822. Wake up.Copy !req
823. Wake up.Copy !req
824. Melvin, what's wrong?Copy !req
825. You're shaking.Copy !req
826. Don't worry. I'll be alright.Copy !req
827. I think your eye operation
has helped me to see.Copy !req
828. You were right.Copy !req
829. Apocalypse is evil.Copy !req
830. They do horrible things.Copy !req
831. I've got to stand up and fight them.Copy !req
832. But how? How are you going to do that?Copy !req
833. Well, the sumos taught meCopy !req
834. that when you
face a formidable opponent,Copy !req
835. you must make the first move.Copy !req
836. I'm so proud of you, baby.Copy !req
837. But how will
you fight Apocalypse?Copy !req
838. How will I fight them?Copy !req
839. How will I fight them?
How will I fight them?Copy !req
840. The old fashioned way, that's how!Copy !req
841. Oh, Melvin!Copy !req
842. Well, that's the whole, horrible,
terrible truth.Copy !req
843. What a mensch!Copy !req
844. But now I was ready
to make amends.Copy !req
845. Now I would show the good
people of TromavilleCopy !req
846. that they could look up to me once
again as their very own,Copy !req
847. newly reformed, hideously deformed,
super-hero.Copy !req
848. But first I had to earn their respect.Copy !req
849. As quick as my two feet
would take me,Copy !req
850. I was out there
giving them my toxic all.Copy !req
851. The Toxic Avenger is coming.Copy !req
852. Melvin's back.Copy !req
853. The Toxic Avenger is backCopy !req
854. The Toxic Avenger's coming.Copy !req
855. Melvin, bbbbbb.Copy !req
856. Thank you for saving my dog. Toxie.Copy !req
857. Here's your doggie, good junior citizens.Copy !req
858. Helping to undo all the
horrible wrongs I had committedCopy !req
859. during my descent
into the Chairman's clutches.Copy !req
860. But now, I was ready to confront the
evil chairman on his own turf.Copy !req
861. I would mop up
the evil in TromavilleCopy !req
862. and make room for
"The Toxic Avenger Part Four!"Copy !req
863. Aah, my new assistant.Copy !req
864. Still carrying that mop I see.Copy !req
865. Here to ah, clean up
the new headquarters?Copy !req
866. Ha, ha, ha...Copy !req
867. Here to clean 'em out!Copy !req
868. Ho, ho. It was a joke!Copy !req
869. Melvin, Melvin, Melvin.
What's wrong?Copy !req
870. I thought, uh, we were partners.
You and I had a deal, hm-hm?Copy !req
871. Toxic Avenger
doesn't deal with evil.Copy !req
872. Well, well. I think our boy
knows something.Copy !req
873. I think I know who you are!Copy !req
874. - Whooo.
- A contract is a contract.Copy !req
875. And you're a man of your word.Copy !req
876. Right, Melvinnnnn!Copy !req
877. I don't care
about your dumb contract.Copy !req
878. We want you out of Tromaville.Copy !req
879. Good citizens of Tromaville,
Apocalypse is through.Copy !req
880. Chairman, you're history.Copy !req
881. Yes, Melvin.Copy !req
882. I am history.
Muahahahaha!Copy !req
883. - What's happening? - Oh my God,
- Look at that!Copy !req
884. Oh, you still don't realizeCopy !req
885. whom you're dealing with,
do you?Copy !req
886. See me as I am!Copy !req
887. Ahhrgh!Copy !req
888. Stay back. Stay back.Copy !req
889. - Whoo! Ooo, what fun!Copy !req
890. Oh, oh, my purpose! Ooo!Copy !req
891. Ooo...Copy !req
892. Ewww!Copy !req
893. I'm totally confused.Copy !req
894. Oh! The Devil.Copy !req
895. Ah, ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
896. Yewch!Copy !req
897. Uugghh, you are one ugly amphibian!Copy !req
898. Alright, Junko.Copy !req
899. Let's party.Copy !req
900. No problem.
I meant to do that.Copy !req
901. What will it be?
Dark places?Copy !req
902. Magic swords?Copy !req
903. Choose your weapon
and your arena.Copy !req
904. Oh, I know.Copy !req
905. You play video games,
don't you Melvin?Copy !req
906. I'm going to show you the
Five Levels of Doom.Copy !req
907. Earth,Copy !req
908. wind,Copy !req
909. fire,Copy !req
910. waterCopy !req
911. and the last one.Copy !req
912. But nobody gets to the last
one anyway.Copy !req
913. Then let
the battle begin.Copy !req
914. Ready or not,
here we go!Copy !req
915. Oooo.
Level One: Earth.Copy !req
916. Oh, Melvin!Copy !req
917. Oh no, oh. Oh! I don't believe it!Copy !req
918. Just murder him!Copy !req
919. Oh no, oh!Copy !req
920. This is one load of toxic waste
that won't stay buried.Copy !req
921. Hey you!
Hey lawn-mower face!Copy !req
922. Get him! I'll give you
a thousand dollars to run that guy over.Copy !req
923. Wait, the budget for this movie is
only two million.Copy !req
924. Thirty! Thirty dollars... I'll give you
thirty dollars to run over that guy.Copy !req
925. Get him! Get him!
Run him over now.Copy !req
926. Melvin, watch out!Copy !req
927. Stop!
Stop it!Copy !req
928. The Devil has paralyzed me,
I can't move.Copy !req
929. I can't move!
- Save my son.Copy !req
930. Melvin!Copy !req
931. My baby! Don't hurt my baby!Copy !req
932. Huh?
- Oh.Copy !req
933. That's my son, my boy!Copy !req
934. Ah! You did it!Copy !req
935. Mmmh.
Nice work, Melvin.Copy !req
936. But now, we're up to level two.Copy !req
937. A personal favorite of mine...Copy !req
938. Fire.Copy !req
939. I'll turn Tromaville into ashes.Copy !req
940. Have a taste of hell.Copy !req
941. Oh please,
carry him some water.Copy !req
942. Please, put him out.
Water!Copy !req
943. Somebody help!Copy !req
944. Oh no we're out of water.Copy !req
945. C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry.Copy !req
946. Now I'm pissed.Copy !req
947. Your friends saved you.Copy !req
948. But can you
save your friends?Copy !req
949. Oh, see the little children getting
on the school bus.Copy !req
950. It's fun and games time.Copy !req
951. Don't make a fuss.
Leave the driving to us.Copy !req
952. All aboard.Copy !req
953. Melvin look!Copy !req
954. They're all going my way.Copy !req
955. No, not the children.Copy !req
956. Your battle is with me.Copy !req
957. Safety first kids.Copy !req
958. Hold on kiddies,
we're going through a curve.Copy !req
959. Stay calm good citizen.Copy !req
960. Da dum, da da de dum,
da dum, da dum...Copy !req
961. This is so good.
- Marvelous. -Yeah good.Copy !req
962. This is good pie.Copy !req
963. That's pork, Rabbi!Copy !req
964. Hey look!Copy !req
965. No!Copy !req
966. What?Copy !req
967. No.Copy !req
968. Watch out.Copy !req
969. No.Copy !req
970. Watch out.
Get out of the way.Copy !req
971. Oy.Copy !req
972. Gotcha.Copy !req
973. C'mon, c'mon.
Break some legs, let's go!Copy !req
974. No...Copy !req
975. No!Copy !req
976. That got 'emCopy !req
977. Don't be frightened.
I'm coming!Copy !req
978. How do you like this level of Doom?Copy !req
979. Wind.Copy !req
980. Oh, give up now Melvin,
and they live.Copy !req
981. Never!Copy !req
982. Let's go.Copy !req
983. - Help! - Help! - Help!
- Help! - Help!Copy !req
984. I've got to save 'em.Copy !req
985. Ow, uh, ouch, ow, oh...Copy !req
986. No!Copy !req
987. Have no fear children.
Toxic's here!Copy !req
988. I can't do this.
I'm not Superman.Copy !req
989. I got it!Copy !req
990. Door!Copy !req
991. Don't just stand there, Malfaire.
Shoot him!Copy !req
992. Aw, it's jammed.Copy !req
993. There. Alright, everybody out.
Quick! Move it.Copy !req
994. Fall, bus, fall!Copy !req
995. Hurry. The bus is about to fall.Copy !req
996. Thanks Toxie.Copy !req
997. There you go.Copy !req
998. Thank you Melvin.Copy !req
999. Don't mention it Glenn.Copy !req
1000. Get out now or you won't be around to
see how this movie ends.Copy !req
1001. Hurry. C'mon.Copy !req
1002. I'm melting.Copy !req
1003. The witch is dead.
Yeah!Copy !req
1004. Ding dong, the witch is dead.
- Yay!Copy !req
1005. Melvin! Yay!Copy !req
1006. Oh my God,
the Devil's fixing the bus.Copy !req
1007. He's putting it
back together again.Copy !req
1008. What's going on?Copy !req
1009. Ah, you may have
left Malfaire flat.Copy !req
1010. But now
you will perish, Avenger.Copy !req
1011. This next level of Doom
is a doosie.Copy !req
1012. Water.Copy !req
1013. Stop that bus.Copy !req
1014. Banzai.Copy !req
1015. You devil you.Copy !req
1016. Don't slip you.Copy !req
1017. Hang on Melvin.Copy !req
1018. Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous
Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs.Copy !req
1019. - Oh no. - No!
- Oh no, no!Copy !req
1020. - Yah! - Yay!
- Yeah.Copy !req
1021. Oh God.Copy !req
1022. It's an old Sumo trick.Copy !req
1023. They use it whenever they're in
a runaway school busCopy !req
1024. that plunges
into a deadly pool ofCopy !req
1025. muddy, murky water.Copy !req
1026. 'Scuse me. Excuse me, people.
Get out of the way.Copy !req
1027. I've gotta clean up
this dirty mess in Tromaville.Copy !req
1028. You are becoming
an annoying horsefly.Copy !req
1029. But swatting time is here.Copy !req
1030. I bring you,
courtesy of hell,Copy !req
1031. the final level of Doom.Copy !req
1032. The mind is a terrible thing
to waste.Copy !req
1033. And I...Copy !req
1034. am going to waste yours.Copy !req
1035. Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
1036. What's happening to me?
I don't feel so well.Copy !req
1037. You ought to
treat those boils.Copy !req
1038. Oh, what's the matter, Melvin?
Got a headache?Copy !req
1039. No!Copy !req
1040. Losing weight
the easy way, Melvin.Copy !req
1041. Pull yourself together, Melvin.Copy !req
1042. Oh, no. Oh Toxie.Copy !req
1043. Oh no. No!Copy !req
1044. Oh, my God. What's happening to Toxie?Copy !req
1045. Melvin, Melvie.
Melvie!Copy !req
1046. Claire, Mommy, Claire.Copy !req
1047. Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'.Copy !req
1048. Mommy!Copy !req
1049. Mommy! What happened to me?
What happened to me?Copy !req
1050. Oy vey!
You look just like your father.Copy !req
1051. Oh, my poor boy.Copy !req
1052. Melvin, Melvin,
here's your Sumo diaper.Copy !req
1053. Put it on.
Put it on this way.Copy !req
1054. Maybe this will help you.Copy !req
1055. Remember what
your sumo friends taught you?Copy !req
1056. Remember?Copy !req
1057. Oh, little Melvin. You don't even know
where you are.Copy !req
1058. Are you in Tromaville?
Are you in Japan?Copy !req
1059. Where are you?Copy !req
1060. Oh look, look. Little Melvin.
Your girlfriend wants to help.Copy !req
1061. I denounce you, Satan.Copy !req
1062. Oh! Oh my God!
My eyes. I'm blind.Copy !req
1063. I'm blind again.Copy !req
1064. Help me. Melvin.Copy !req
1065. Melvin.Copy !req
1066. Melvin.Copy !req
1067. It's your mother.
Melvin.Copy !req
1068. Ooo, what are doing to her?Copy !req
1069. After all, a boy's best friend
is his mummy.Copy !req
1070. If only I could find that contract.Copy !req
1071. Ah, if I could find that contractCopy !req
1072. then maybe
I could help Melvin.Copy !req
1073. I don't know where he put it.Copy !req
1074. If I could just find that contractCopy !req
1075. then we could
clean this whole thing up.Copy !req
1076. Get out of my way, worm.Copy !req
1077. Look. Look at him.Copy !req
1078. Look what's become
of the Toxic Avenger.Copy !req
1079. He's back to
the sniveling mop boyCopy !req
1080. you all made fun of.Copy !req
1081. Where's that braille version of the
contract Toxie made for me?Copy !req
1082. If I could just find that contract,Copy !req
1083. then we could clean up this mess.Copy !req
1084. That's it.Copy !req
1085. Aw, look.
Isn't he ready for destruction?Copy !req
1086. Aren't you tired of this pink
tutu'd pansy?Copy !req
1087. We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman!Copy !req
1088. And ve're tired of vat you're company
is doing to our Tromaville!Copy !req
1089. We're tired of ground water pollution.Copy !req
1090. And your sludge.Copy !req
1091. And the PCBs!Copy !req
1092. We're tired of your
filthy lawyers and accountantsCopy !req
1093. and we're fed up with your
perverted investment bankers.Copy !req
1094. The Toxic Avenger has always
played fair with us.Copy !req
1095. And he's the only toxic waste
we need around here.Copy !req
1096. If you want him,
you've got to go through us.Copy !req
1097. This town has
never had it so good.Copy !req
1098. I order you
to go back to your hovelsCopy !req
1099. and jump in your beds.Copy !req
1100. I just might be willing
to forget all thisCopy !req
1101. and let you
show up for work tomorrow.Copy !req
1102. Please let us through.Copy !req
1103. Claire has found
a way out of the contract.Copy !req
1104. Excuse me. Excuse me.
She's found an escape clause.Copy !req
1105. Please let me through.Copy !req
1106. Claire has found a way out.Copy !req
1107. Oh, oh my God.
There's an escape clause.Copy !req
1108. You, you tell them about it.Copy !req
1109. It's very important.Copy !req
1110. The force majeure states:Copy !req
1111. "Clause Eleven: Termination.Copy !req
1112. "The employee's obligations hereunderCopy !req
1113. "shall remain in full force and effect
for all enternity.Copy !req
1114. "However, said obligations
shall be terminated,Copy !req
1115. "and this agreement shall be rendered
immediately null and void,Copy !req
1116. upon a miraculous act of God."Copy !req
1117. And God is in the
hearts of the people.Copy !req
1118. It's an escape clause.
It's an escape clause!Copy !req
1119. What about this?Copy !req
1120. It's an escape clause, see?
What about that, huh?Copy !req
1121. So where is He?Copy !req
1122. On vacation in the
Grand Bahamas?Copy !req
1123. I don't see Him around protecting
His interests.Copy !req
1124. I'm the only one interested in this
dirty little town.Copy !req
1125. And you're yesterday's waste, pal.Copy !req
1126. Excuse me, excuse me.Copy !req
1127. Message for Mr. Junko.Copy !req
1128. I have a message
for Mr. Junko.Copy !req
1129. Urgent message for
Mr. Melvin Junko.Copy !req
1130. Can't you see
we're busy here?Copy !req
1131. I think this takes priority.Copy !req
1132. No one takes priority
over me.Copy !req
1133. Oh?Copy !req
1134. Ahum, ahum, ahum.Copy !req
1135. Um, maybe one.Copy !req
1136. Let's get the hell outta here.Copy !req
1137. Cheese it, it's the big guy.
Let's get out of here.Copy !req
1138. Claire. Claire.Copy !req
1139. Madonna mia. Gott in himmel.
Was ist das?Copy !req
1140. It's raining.Copy !req
1141. It's wonderful.Copy !req
1142. It feels tingly on my body.Copy !req
1143. It's nectar from God.Copy !req
1144. It's some healing liquid.Copy !req
1145. Oh, it's sweet,
it's sour, it's warm.Copy !req
1146. What's happening little Melvin?Copy !req
1147. What's happening? What's happening?
What's happening?Copy !req
1148. Melvin, what, what... oh!Copy !req
1149. Beautiful Melvin.Copy !req
1150. Oh, Melvin you're back.Copy !req
1151. You're back Melvin, oh!Copy !req
1152. There's my son.Copy !req
1153. I can see. I can see.Copy !req
1154. I am back. But now I feel like
kickin' some devil ass.Copy !req
1155. This has gone on long enough, Devil.Copy !req
1156. I think it's about time that somebody
put the fear of God in you.Copy !req
1157. Be reasonable. Think of what you're
giving up, Melvin.Copy !req
1158. That's Mr. Melvin to you!Copy !req
1159. Oy Gevalt!Copy !req
1160. Oh! This is more disgusting
than General Hospital.Copy !req
1161. Are you okay?Copy !req
1162. Up you go reverend.Copy !req
1163. Gee whiz!Copy !req
1164. I've only had my eyes
a short timeCopy !req
1165. and already I've seen everything.Copy !req
1166. I do.Copy !req
1167. Then I now pronounce you man...Copy !req
1168. uh, monster and wife.Copy !req
1169. You may now kiss the bride.Copy !req
1170. Oh, my baby boy.Copy !req
1171. Oooo.Copy !req
1172. Thank you.Copy !req
1173. I'm so delighted.
Thank you.Copy !req
1174. So me and Mommy...
and ClaireCopy !req
1175. walked off
into that toxic sunset.Copy !req