1. New York City, the world capital
of culture and industry.Copy !req
2. Here, among the towering skyscrapers,Copy !req
3. civilization is guided by men of progress
and the wonders of technology.Copy !req
4. But for all this industrial advancement,
there is a price to pay.Copy !req
5. Pollution. The unavoidable
byproduct of today's society.Copy !req
6. Every year, millions of
gallons of poisonous wastes,Copy !req
7. garbage, and radioactive chemicals
are disposed of in nearby townsCopy !req
8. such as Tromaville, the toxic waste
dumping capital of the world.Copy !req
9. Our story takes place at the Tromaville
Health ClubCopy !req
10. Where a young man named Melvin Furd works.Copy !req
11. Melvin's entire life, in factCopy !req
12. entire being was
changed by toxic chemical waste.Copy !req
13. Would you take a look at
that fucking guy?Copy !req
14. Dumb mop boy can't even mop right.Copy !req
15. He's so stupid!Copy !req
16. He's always got that
shit-eating grin on his face.Copy !req
17. What's he so happy about?Copy !req
18. I hate that mop boy.Copy !req
19. I think that creep is coming over here.Copy !req
20. Julie, you smell something?Copy !req
21. Ew! P-U! What's that stink?Copy !req
22. Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing.Copy !req
23. Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here!Copy !req
24. OK. I'll be right there!Copy !req
25. Look what you did,
you fucking asshole!Copy !req
26. Yeah, you fucking asshole!Copy !req
27. - Hey, what are you, retarded?
- Huh? retarded?Copy !req
28. I'm sorry!Copy !req
29. Sorry, huh?Copy !req
30. You want me to go and
get a fucking disease!Copy !req
31. Yeah, you want her to go and
get a fucking disease?Copy !req
32. I didn't mean it!Copy !req
33. Aw, I didn't mean it.Copy !req
34. Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna
take this mop and shove it down your throat.Copy !req
35. He is stressing me, Julie!Copy !req
36. He is stressing me!Copy !req
37. Oh, Bozo...Copy !req
38. I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie.
He is screwing up my karma!Copy !req
39. See what you did, you idiot?
See what you did!Copy !req
40. You've stressed Bozo!Copy !req
41. I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it.
He was sitting there and I—Copy !req
42. Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp!Copy !req
43. Keep it up, Bozo.
Keep it up.Copy !req
44. But remember,Copy !req
45. there is only one muscle
you gotta worry about.Copy !req
46. Hey, you know. I think you ought to
work a little bit on your gut.Copy !req
47. You're getting a little bit
flabby there.Copy !req
48. Where! What are you talking about?Copy !req
49. I don't got no fat!
There's no fat here. I don't got no f—Copy !req
50. Fat! Fat!Copy !req
51. Slug, are you sure
no one will come in?Copy !req
52. I paid Tony 15 bucks.Copy !req
53. He said the place is ours
until tomorrow morning.Copy !req
54. Relax. You want a drink?Copy !req
55. - Yeah.
- Alright.Copy !req
56. Slug, can I come again next time
you and Bozo go driving?Copy !req
57. If you want to, bad enough.Copy !req
58. I love it when we go real fast.Copy !req
59. And they never know what hit 'em.Copy !req
60. They never believe we're
going to run 'em down.Copy !req
61. We keep getting closer and closer.Copy !req
62. And faster and faster.Copy !req
63. They're just standing there and yeah.Copy !req
64. We hit them!Copy !req
65. I love the sound of breaking bones!Copy !req
66. The car driving over them,
dragging their bodies.Copy !req
67. All that beautiful blood!Copy !req
68. Slug!Copy !req
69. I want you, now.Copy !req
70. Give it to me! Give it to me!
More! More!Copy !req
71. Get out of here, you pervert!Copy !req
72. Or I'll kill ya!Copy !req
73. Julie. Julie, the points.
The rules, what are they?Copy !req
74. Let me see if I can
remember the whole list.Copy !req
75. Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks,Copy !req
76. they're all worth twenty-five points.Copy !req
77. But Puerto Ricans, they're
worth thirty points.Copy !req
78. Now kids under twelve
they're worth double points.Copy !req
79. Skippy, don't forget your helmet.Copy !req
80. OK, sis.Copy !req
81. And be careful out there.Copy !req
82. Julie, does it count if
I graze them?Copy !req
83. You got to destroy them!
Bozo, I want them dead.Copy !req
84. Now we're gonna get 'em.Copy !req
85. Come on. Come on! Come on!
Where the fuck is everybody?
Where the fuck is everybody?Copy !req
86. How much is a kid on a bicycle?Copy !req
87. Where?Copy !req
88. Twenty-eight points if you
get both the kid and the bike?Copy !req
89. Let's take a closer look.Copy !req
90. Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he?Copy !req
91. Out pretty late, aren't you, honey?Copy !req
92. The coast is clear, Bozo.Copy !req
93. We got him!Copy !req
94. We're gonna kill him!
We're gonna get him!Copy !req
95. Now you get full points!Copy !req
96. No way! The kid's still moving!Copy !req
97. We're not finished yet!Copy !req
98. He's still moving, no way
you get full points.Copy !req
99. No way, huh? No way?
I'll fucking show you no way.Copy !req
100. Give me that!
Gibe me that!Copy !req
101. Full points, my man!Copy !req
102. Look at him!
Wow, oh my God!Copy !req
103. These are gonna be the best shots
we've ever taken.Copy !req
104. Yeah, this is fun!Copy !req
105. These are great!Copy !req
106. Show me your pretty pictures!Copy !req
107. That was good!
That was good!Copy !req
108. I want to do it again!
I want to do it again!Copy !req
109. - Yeah, let's do it again!
- Yeah, let's go for it again!Copy !req
110. No, no I can't.
I've got to go home.Copy !req
111. What?Copy !req
112. Well, I got to get up early
in the morning.Copy !req
113. Got to go to church.Copy !req
114. Oh!Copy !req
115. And up! Up! Up! Up!Copy !req
116. Now kick! Out! Out! Out!Copy !req
117. Now arms up! Stop. Stop.Copy !req
118. That's really pitiful.
Just stop. Just stop a second.Copy !req
119. Look how many times do
I have to tell you people?Copy !req
120. Do exactly what I do.Copy !req
121. If I kick my right foot,
you kick your right foot.Copy !req
122. If I kick my left foot,
you kick your left foot.Copy !req
123. Okay? Whatever I do,
you do exactly the same thing.Copy !req
124. Okay? Now how about we start again?
You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing.Copy !req
125. Okay guys, you know
what I'm talking about?Copy !req
126. Let's go, let's do it this time.
Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey...Copy !req
127. Watch what I'm doing here.
Watch how I hit this ball.Copy !req
128. Are you watching me!
Are you watching me!Copy !req
129. I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it!
I'm going to kill it!Copy !req
130. Aah!
I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in!Copy !req
131. Bozo, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey, guys, come here.Copy !req
132. Have I got a plan to fix
that mop boys wagon.Copy !req
133. Great!
What is it?Copy !req
134. Well...Copy !req
135. Hi, Melvin.Copy !req
136. Whoa!Copy !req
137. Melvin. Melvin, it's okay.
It's okay.Copy !req
138. Hey, I just came to apologize.
Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday.Copy !req
139. Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind.Copy !req
140. In fact, I was hoping
you could help me,Copy !req
141. with a little problem.
I've been having.Copy !req
142. - Who, me?
- Yes but...Copy !req
143. I can't talk about here
with all these people around.Copy !req
144. Hey, I got a great idea.Copy !req
145. Why don't you meet me
in the girls locker room?Copy !req
146. Girls' locker room?Copy !req
147. Yes.
Then we can discuss it alone.Copy !req
148. Oh, oh!Copy !req
149. Okay.Copy !req
150. Great! Let's say 7 o'clock.Copy !req
151. Okay. That'll be good for me, too,
'cause I gotta to clean the toiletsCopy !req
152. in there around that time anyway.Copy !req
153. Good. It's a date. See you then.Copy !req
154. Okay.Copy !req
155. 490... 491... 492...Copy !req
156. 493... 494... 495...Copy !req
157. Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell
for it. Hook line and sinker.Copy !req
158. Great!Copy !req
159. We've been driving for
two whole hours.Copy !req
160. Let's pull this rig over
and take a break.Copy !req
161. Hey, the boss'll have our asses.Copy !req
162. You know he don't want us
to stop in habitated areasCopy !req
163. with this radioactive chemical
waste we got on the back.Copy !req
164. It's dangerous.
It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know.Copy !req
165. Hey Joey, you remember that dope
we were snorting last week?Copy !req
166. - Do I?
- Well, buddy boy. Check this out.Copy !req
167. Holy shit! Why didn't you say so.Copy !req
168. Let's pull it over!Copy !req
169. Julie.Copy !req
170. - Hi, Melvin.
- Hi, Julie.Copy !req
171. Come in, don't be shy.Copy !req
172. So, what was it that
you wanted me to help you with?Copy !req
173. - Well, it's about Bozo.
- Bozo?Copy !req
174. Yeah, you see, I'm so sick
of the way he goes aroundCopy !req
175. pushing people around all the time.Copy !req
176. He's so immature.Copy !req
177. In fact, I don't like to go out
with him anymore.Copy !req
178. But I don't know quite
how to tell him.Copy !req
179. In fact, Melvin, I think
you're handsome,Copy !req
180. and sensitive and kind.
Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible.Copy !req
181. - Me?
- Yes.Copy !req
182. Melvin, I want to do it with you.Copy !req
183. Do it?Copy !req
184. Do it!Copy !req
185. Do what?Copy !req
186. Do it, Melvin, do it!Copy !req
187. Do it? Okay.Copy !req
188. Wait a minute.
Have I got a great idea, Melvin.Copy !req
189. What is it?Copy !req
190. We'll go down by the pool.Copy !req
191. And afterward we can take a cool dip.Copy !req
192. Alright.Copy !req
193. There's one other little thing, Melvin.Copy !req
194. You're not wearing pink.Copy !req
195. - Pink?
- It's my favorite color.Copy !req
196. I have my pink on.Copy !req
197. So, I brought this for you.Copy !req
198. - But this is sissy stuff.
- Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot.Copy !req
199. - It does.
- Yes.Copy !req
200. If you put on your pink,
I'll take off my pink.Copy !req
201. - I love pink!
- Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you.Copy !req
202. - And bring your mop.
- I will!Copy !req
203. - Julie?
- Here I am, Melvin.Copy !req
204. It's so dark in here,
where are you? I can't see youCopy !req
205. I'm right here, Melvin. Come here.Copy !req
206. My lips are waiting for you, Melvin.Copy !req
207. Whoa, put your arms around me.Copy !req
208. Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie!
I'm here!Copy !req
209. Okay! Turn on the light!Copy !req
210. You're so soft, Julie.Copy !req
211. Baaa.Copy !req
212. Ooh!Copy !req
213. Ooh, he doesn't
look very good to me.Copy !req
214. Aaahh!Copy !req
215. He's faking it, Julie!
He's faking it.Copy !req
216. I think he's in trouble.Copy !req
217. Julie, this guy,
if he can't take a joke, he stinks.Copy !req
218. Get back! Get back!
Step off! Get back!Copy !req
219. Get out of here!Copy !req
220. Easy, guy.Copy !req
221. Melvin's on fire!
Melvin's on fire!Copy !req
222. Melvin, dear, are you alright?Copy !req
223. Is anything the matter?Copy !req
224. God, my arms!
Ow! Ow!Copy !req
225. Oh my feet!Copy !req
226. Oh my God!
Ahhhhhh!Copy !req
227. Aaahhh!Copy !req
228. Are you okay?Copy !req
229. Melvin, dear, are you alright?Copy !req
230. My little Melvin! He must
have finally reached puberty.Copy !req
231. Grrrr!Copy !req
232. One. Two.Copy !req
233. Three. Four. Five.Copy !req
234. When we lay this wad on, old Clancy.Copy !req
235. The boss is going to
have him by the balls.Copy !req
236. I don't think old Clancy
will take the money.Copy !req
237. Everyone says he's an honest cop.Copy !req
238. If he don't take the dough,
I'm gonna give him a blow.Copy !req
239. Ha ha!Copy !req
240. A pair of knuckles.Copy !req
241. Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are
you and your friends up to?Copy !req
242. We brought you a little
present from the boss.Copy !req
243. Here.Copy !req
244. No way.
You're wasting your time.Copy !req
245. No. That's where you're wrong.Copy !req
246. You're wasting our time.Copy !req
247. Now we're going to waste you!Copy !req
248. Ow!Copy !req
249. Now you're going to find out
why they call me Cigar Face.Copy !req
250. Aaahh!Copy !req
251. Get him Nipples, yeah!Copy !req
252. Come on, now. Come on!Copy !req
253. What the matter, Clancy?Copy !req
254. Get him!Copy !req
255. Honest cops are all alike!
A bunch of fuckin' fagots!Copy !req
256. What do you say, shall
I blow his nose off or what?Copy !req
257. Boss says if he doesn't
want to cooperate,Copy !req
258. we should make love to him.Copy !req
259. Well, whatever the boss says, goes.Copy !req
260. No... No, no, please!
Please, oh God, please.Copy !req
261. No, no. No, please. Come on.
I've got a family!Copy !req
262. Say your prayers, copper!Copy !req
263. Holy shit!Copy !req
264. Could that be the,
O'Shanahee boy back from school.Copy !req
265. No! No!Copy !req
266. Grrr!Copy !req
267. Ow!Copy !req
268. Aaahhh!Copy !req
269. Aaaahhhh!Copy !req
270. Aaahhh!Copy !req
271. I'll get you for this,
you monster faggot!Copy !req
272. Grrrr!Copy !req
273. Don't worry.
Don't worry, I won't hurt you.Copy !req
274. I don't know what came over me.Copy !req
275. I just couldn't control myself.Copy !req
276. I've never done anything
like this before.Copy !req
277. Bye.Copy !req
278. Quiet!Copy !req
279. Quiet!Copy !req
280. Now, you will raise your hand
and you will ask one question at a time.Copy !req
281. Exactly where did it happen?Copy !req
282. It happened in Shinbone Alley.Copy !req
283. These three guys were
going to kill me, see.Copy !req
284. And then of nowhere comes
this thing, this monster,Copy !req
285. I never seen anything like it before.Copy !req
286. Because it took the three guys
and threw them away.Copy !req
287. I don't know what it was but,
but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life.Copy !req
288. Alright, boys.Copy !req
289. Chief, what have you got?Copy !req
290. That alleyway was the most
gruesome sight I have ever seen.Copy !req
291. Gruesome, huh?Copy !req
292. Have you ever met
my mother-in-law?Copy !req
293. Now, that's gruesomeCopy !req
294. What about Cigar Face?Copy !req
295. Have we gotten anything
out of him yet?Copy !req
296. He must still be in shock.
All he does is sit aroundCopy !req
297. all day babbling about
some seven foot monster.Copy !req
298. Yeah, and the only other clue
we've got are those mops,Copy !req
299. stuffed in their mouths.Copy !req
300. Mops... It must be some sort of political statement.
Do we have any suspects?Copy !req
301. Nah, the whole town is suspect.
Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone.Copy !req
302. Not by me. They were
our two best producers.Copy !req
303. Speaking of which, I almost forgot.Copy !req
304. The boys made their rounds last
night and here is the collection.Copy !req
305. Yeah, and it would've been
double if it wasn't for thisCopy !req
306. devastating tragic turn of events.Copy !req
307. Yeah.Copy !req
308. Aah!Copy !req
309. Slug, will you stop with that
Elephant Man bullshit.Copy !req
310. I am not an animal.
I'm Melvin, the mop boy.Copy !req
311. - Who is it?
- It's me, Ma. Melvin.Copy !req
312. Aah!Copy !req
313. Ma? Ah, Ma!Copy !req
314. Tom. Tom, is he dead?Copy !req
315. Hey, Tom.Copy !req
316. Yeah, over here. Tom,
the zoning board has designatedCopy !req
317. the old Rawlins Chemical Plant
as the new toxic waste dump site.Copy !req
318. Now that's contaminated, but
valuable waterfront property.Copy !req
319. We think it's a crime to let that
property go to waste as a dump.Copy !req
320. You are aware, of course, that that would
place our new toxic chemical dumpCopy !req
321. just 20 feet from the
reservoir for the entire area.Copy !req
322. Gentlemen, I think we have a deal.Copy !req
323. Here to better living through chemistry.Copy !req
324. Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred,
what's wrong with this thing!Copy !req
325. Alright, everybody!Copy !req
326. Drop your tacos or
I'll blow your brains out!Copy !req
327. Rico, get the cash register!Copy !req
328. Okay, you got it!Copy !req
329. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
330. We are the entertainment
for this afternoon.Copy !req
331. Now on shotgun,
we've got my man Leroy.Copy !req
332. On cash register
we've got magic fingers, Rico!Copy !req
333. That's me.Copy !req
334. And last but not least, yours truly Frank.Copy !req
335. On the stick.Copy !req
336. Shut up!Copy !req
337. Now if you all do just
what we tell you,Copy !req
338. you just might, just might
get your asses home all intact.Copy !req
339. Look who we got here!
A little mother, and a littler baby.Copy !req
340. Do you like Mexican food, little baby?Copy !req
341. Well, How'd you like to
have this hot tamaleCopy !req
342. shoved down your throat?Copy !req
343. What are you looking at?Copy !req
344. Hey, Frank, teeny boppers!Copy !req
345. You like video games,
teeny boppers?Copy !req
346. Your mom give you
quarters for video games?Copy !req
347. Well, cough them up!Copy !req
348. Hey, this one's cute, Frank.Copy !req
349. Look how cute she is, Frank.Copy !req
350. Say, Leroy, I think she likes you.Copy !req
351. Hey, why don't you leave her alone?Copy !req
352. We'll give you our money,
if you want money.Copy !req
353. Hey, look, pal, why don't
you just let everyone goCopy !req
354. and keep me as a hostage, huh?Copy !req
355. Huh?Copy !req
356. That's an idea, ainft it, Frank?Copy !req
357. - Yeah.
- No, thanks.Copy !req
358. Shut up! It was self defense.Copy !req
359. Yo, Leroy, check out
this pretty little thing,Copy !req
360. and the bitch got a dog.Copy !req
361. Hey, wait a minute.
I think this bitch is blind.Copy !req
362. Are you sure she is blind, Frank?Copy !req
363. Yeah, the bitch is blind.Copy !req
364. Ow!Copy !req
365. Hey, what are you doing?
Don't do that!Copy !req
366. Let go of me!Copy !req
367. Yo, Leroy, you want to
walk this damn dog!Copy !req
368. Yeah, sure, Frank.Copy !req
369. Gary?Copy !req
370. Harry!
What have you done to my dog?Copy !req
371. I didn't do anything to the dog,
but listen...Copy !req
372. Gary! Gary!Copy !req
373. You wanna meet my friend, Ben?Copy !req
374. We's make everything alright.
Just let me introduce you to Ben.Copy !req
375. Ben who!Copy !req
376. Ben Dover!Copy !req
377. Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want
to cornhole me a blind bitch.Copy !req
378. Ow!Copy !req
379. I'm going to enjoy this!Copy !req
380. Yeah, it's going to be nice.Copy !req
381. What the shit!Copy !req
382. Okay, you motherfucker!Copy !req
383. Aah! Aahh!Copy !req
384. No, no, no! We were only kidding!Copy !req
385. What's the matter?
You can't take a joke?Copy !req
386. We were only kidding.Copy !req
387. Please, no!
You can't do this to me!Copy !req
388. No! Please! Please, stop it!Copy !req
389. Stop, no! No!Copy !req
390. No! We were, we were only kidding!Copy !req
391. Grrr! Grrrrr!Copy !req
392. Please, please don't touch me!Copy !req
393. Please!Copy !req
394. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright.
I'm not going to hurt you.Copy !req
395. Are you okay?Copy !req
396. Yes, I think so. My dog!Copy !req
397. Those men killed my dog!
They shot my dog!Copy !req
398. Could you take me out of here, please?Copy !req
399. Please. I'll never make it
by myself without my dog.Copy !req
400. Please.Copy !req
401. Okay, alright, but come on,
let's go out the back way.Copy !req
402. Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you.
Come on, I'll help you up.Copy !req
403. - Don't trip over the step, Melvin.
- What?Copy !req
404. I'd better get my cane.Copy !req
405. Why don't you have a seat?Copy !req
406. There's a place for you on your left.Copy !req
407. Right over there.Copy !req
408. Ow!Copy !req
409. Would like you like something to eat?Copy !req
410. Uh-huh.Copy !req
411. Is peanut butter and jelly, okay?Copy !req
412. Uh-huh.Copy !req
413. Good.Copy !req
414. Grr!Copy !req
415. Now, boys, what have we got here?Copy !req
416. Looks like we got a nice crispy taco
supreme over here, chief.Copy !req
417. Looks like I got a a
strawberry thickshake over here.Copy !req
418. What have you got?Copy !req
419. I've got a pizza with
the works to go, Jimmy.Copy !req
420. Chief, it was unbelievable.
It had an eye up over here,Copy !req
421. His nose was twisted to the side.Copy !req
422. Huh?Copy !req
423. It was the strangest thing
I ever saw in my life.Copy !req
424. Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too.Copy !req
425. I'm telling ya, these guys
were going to kill us.Copy !req
426. It saved our lives. It was a hero.Copy !req
427. A hero!Copy !req
428. This guy is drunk.Copy !req
429. Would you mind if
I touched your face?Copy !req
430. No!Copy !req
431. No? Why not?
I won't hurt you, Melvin.Copy !req
432. It's not that. It's just that
I have a rash on my face.Copy !req
433. A rash? You mean acne?Copy !req
434. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
It's nothing to worry aboutCopy !req
435. but I wouldn't want you to touch it.Copy !req
436. You shouldn't be ashamed of acne.Copy !req
437. Everybody's had acne at
one time or another.Copy !req
438. Hey, I know. Would you
like me to tell your fortune?Copy !req
439. Huh?Copy !req
440. I read palms. Give me your hand.Copy !req
441. What big hands you have.Copy !req
442. I bet you're very strong.Copy !req
443. Hmm. Let me see.
You're going to haveCopy !req
444. a lot of good things coming
too you in the future.Copy !req
445. You're going to become
a very important man.Copy !req
446. Let me see your other hand.Copy !req
447. Grr?
Grrrrr!Copy !req
448. Oops! Sorry.Copy !req
449. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
450. With us this afternoon is,
Dr. Mertyn SnodbergerCopy !req
451. from the Garden State State Cerebral
Reflex Research Center.Copy !req
452. Ah, can you tell me, sir,Copy !req
453. is it true that the monster
only attacks bad people?Copy !req
454. Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil
people have been destroyedCopy !req
455. by the monster, I would have
to answer your question. Ja.Copy !req
456. From traces that have
been found on the scenesCopy !req
457. of the crime, and analyzed,
we have determinedCopy !req
458. that whatever it is,
this monster has been exposedCopy !req
459. to toxic chemical waste.Copy !req
460. Achoo!Copy !req
461. It is also highly probable
that this monster mayCopy !req
462. have developed a very
basic instinct which draws him,Copy !req
463. or should I say, commands
him to destroy evil.Copy !req
464. That new camera really
captures the moment!Copy !req
465. I know. The reds are so red!
Really get me hot!Copy !req
466. Mr. Mayor?Copy !req
467. Yeah?Copy !req
468. I got todayfs receipts from
the drug division. Ha ha!Copy !req
469. Good boy, Dennis.
Put it over there on the table.Copy !req
470. Bookie will get to it later.Copy !req
471. Grr!Copy !req
472. Aahhh!Copy !req
473. Grrr!Copy !req
474. Listen, you asshole, how many
times are you going toCopy !req
475. pull that Elephant Man joke?Copy !req
476. - Grrr!
- Aahhh!Copy !req
477. Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!Copy !req
478. This monster may have
developed a very basic instinct,Copy !req
479. to destroy evil.Copy !req
480. Hey, you! In the alley!Copy !req
481. Hey, knucklehead! How about
some nice young poontang, huh?Copy !req
482. No! No, take me home!
No, take me home!Copy !req
483. No, you lied to me!Copy !req
484. You said you were going to take
me to see the David Bowie concert!Copy !req
485. He's not David Bowie!Copy !req
486. Only twelve years old,
and only twelve dollars!Copy !req
487. Boys! Boys! Help!Copy !req
488. Help, boys! Help!Copy !req
489. Aaahh!Copy !req
490. And you can tell all your
scum friends that thingsCopy !req
491. are going to change in this town!Copy !req
492. I'm not just another pretty face!Copy !req
493. Grrr!Copy !req
494. Two prime candidates.Copy !req
495. Yeah.Copy !req
496. Rack 'em up!Copy !req
497. I hear the monster is so big.Copy !req
498. Well, I bet he's got his eye on me.Copy !req
499. For your information, everyone
knows Monster Prefer Blondes!Copy !req
500. There's a feeling going
around town that this monsterCopy !req
501. is here to protect the people.Copy !req
502. And the jail's are becoming overcrowded.Copy !req
503. This monster has cleaned
the streets of every criminal.Copy !req
504. Almost all the criminals.
He hasn't gotten us yet.Copy !req
505. What the hell are we going
to do about this monster, eh?Copy !req
506. I'll tell you what we're going
to do. We're going to kill him.Copy !req
507. Because if we don't kill him,
he's going to kill us.Copy !req
508. Grrr!Copy !req
509. I owe you for the other
night, monster fagot!Copy !req
510. Grrr!Copy !req
511. So now we're going to give
you six new assholes,Copy !req
512. compliments of me, Cigar Face!Copy !req
513. Grrr!Copy !req
514. Grr!Copy !req
515. Boom! You should've seen it!
His teeth was everywhere!Copy !req
516. They looked like Chiclets!Copy !req
517. Hey, what are you doing, blondie?Copy !req
518. I'm waiting for my boyfriend.Copy !req
519. She's waiting for her boyfriend.Copy !req
520. Well, maybe I'm going to
be your boyfriend, baby!Copy !req
521. Hey, stop that!
My boyfriend won't like that!Copy !req
522. Maybe we'll have to take care
of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh?Copy !req
523. Melvin! Melvin!Copy !req
524. Melvin!Copy !req
525. Melvin!Copy !req
526. Melvin!Copy !req
527. Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?Copy !req
528. Aah!Copy !req
529. Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.
You're a beautiful person.Copy !req
530. You're so muscular. It's been
two years since I touched a man.Copy !req
531. What are you doing to me?
I've never felt like this before.Copy !req
532. Murderer!Copy !req
533. - Aaahhh!
- Grrrrrr!Copy !req
534. I'm gonna teach you a lesson
you'll never forget!Copy !req
535. Aaahh!Copy !req
536. No!Copy !req
537. Sorry, madam.Copy !req
538. Open up please, open up!Copy !req
539. Help me! Oh, please open up!
Help me!Copy !req
540. Grrr!Copy !req
541. Aaahh!Copy !req
542. Going up?Copy !req
543. Let me out Let me out!
Please, someone help me!Copy !req
544. Aaahh!Copy !req
545. Aaahhh!Copy !req
546. Aah! She's stressing me, Slug!
Julie is stressing me, Slug!Copy !req
547. I can't take it!
I cannot take this, Slug!Copy !req
548. She's not here with car
and I've got to drive.Copy !req
549. I gotta drive, Slug!
I gotta drive!Copy !req
550. Alright, already. Alright.
Will you chill out?Copy !req
551. Hey, how would you like
to be behind the wheelCopy !req
552. of a beautiful Japanese import?Copy !req
553. Oh, that would be good!Copy !req
554. Hi, can we help?Copy !req
555. Oh, you sure can.Copy !req
556. Thank you so much.
Oh, it's so nice to have youCopy !req
557. boys like you here
in the neighborhood.Copy !req
558. Aahh!Copy !req
559. Aahhh!Copy !req
560. Oh, what a feeling, today!Copy !req
561. Did you see her face
when I punched her?Copy !req
562. I beat that old lady like a dog!Copy !req
563. Slug, there's that thing again!Copy !req
564. Let's get it!Copy !req
565. Shit! he's on the roof!
He's on the roof!Copy !req
566. Get him off!
He's going to kill both of us!Copy !req
567. Swerve the car, Bozo!
Swerve the car!Copy !req
568. I can't control the car!Copy !req
569. He's still there, swerve it again!
Swerve it again!Copy !req
570. I can't get him off the car, Slug!
I can't get him off!Copy !req
571. Slug, I'm going to die!Copy !req
572. Take the wheel, Slug!
Take the wheel!Copy !req
573. I'm stressed!Copy !req
574. Ah, what?Copy !req
575. What?Copy !req
576. Aaaahhh!Copy !req
577. Get out of here!Copy !req
578. No!Copy !req
579. See how you like this face, huh, Bozo?Copy !req
580. You know who this is?
It's Melvin, that's who it is!Copy !req
581. Hey, hey, hey, what about the
kid on the bike, Bozo?Copy !req
582. How does it feel to hit
a kid on a bike? Feels good!Copy !req
583. I've got problems! I've got problems!
I'm a stressed person!Copy !req
584. No, no!Copy !req
585. Give me the wheel!Copy !req
586. Just give me the wheel!
You'll going to kill both of us!Copy !req
587. You want the wheel?
Here, take the wheel!Copy !req
588. Aaahhh!Copy !req
589. Grrr! Ha ha!Copy !req
590. Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!Copy !req
591. Mrs Haskel, how are you?Copy !req
592. Fine, thank you.Copy !req
593. How are the boys?Copy !req
594. Those boys are such terrors.
Especially Scott.Copy !req
595. He took his best girl out
last night and he came homeCopy !req
596. with these stains, all over his pants.Copy !req
597. I don't know what they are.Copy !req
598. I don't either.Copy !req
599. Do you think you can get them out?Copy !req
600. My car! They're putting
a ticket on my car!Copy !req
601. Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move.
Stay right where you are.Copy !req
602. I'll be right back.Copy !req
603. You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket!
I have to go to a funeral—Copy !req
604. Hey, who do you think you're pushing?Copy !req
605. What do you want?Copy !req
606. Stay away from me!
Stay away from me!Copy !req
607. Help! Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
608. Stay away from me!
Stay away from me! Help!Copy !req
609. Help! Help!Copy !req
610. What the...?Copy !req
611. Put me down!
I didn't do anything!Copy !req
612. No Dickie here. No washie.Copy !req
613. Please, don't give me a ticket!
Please, don't give me a ticket!Copy !req
614. Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what
we can do with these stains.Copy !req
615. Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel,
what are you doing back there?Copy !req
616. You know customers are
not allowed on that machine.Copy !req
617. Mrs. Haskel.Copy !req
618. Aah!Copy !req
619. Melvin, is that you?Copy !req
620. Melvin?Copy !req
621. Who's there?Copy !req
622. Who is that?Copy !req
623. It's me, Sarah. Only me.Copy !req
624. You scared me.
Is something wrong?Copy !req
625. Everything is wrong.Copy !req
626. What the matter?
What have I done?Copy !req
627. No, it's not what you've done.
It's what I've done.Copy !req
628. I think I'm out of control.Copy !req
629. You see, you're blind, Sara.
You don't know who I am.Copy !req
630. I'm really the monster
hero you heard about.Copy !req
631. And everyday I go out
and I mash people.Copy !req
632. I tear them apart and I can't stop.Copy !req
633. You better move back
to your apartment.Copy !req
634. I don't think its safe
for you to be around me.Copy !req
635. Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave
you now. I love you, Melvin.Copy !req
636. I wish we could go somewhere.Copy !req
637. Yeah, some far away place.
Where there are no people.Copy !req
638. Where I can't kill anybody.Copy !req
639. What about that spot near Millers
farm that you told me about?Copy !req
640. Where you used to go to be alone.Copy !req
641. You said that was a very special place.Copy !req
642. Well, we could try it.Copy !req
643. Do you think I look
inconspicuous enough?Copy !req
644. I'll feel better when
we get to the campsite.Copy !req
645. Mayor, Mayor!Copy !req
646. Chief, look. Our monster
made a little bit of a mistake.Copy !req
647. You can't go around dry
cleaning little old ladiesCopy !req
648. the public won't stand for it.Copy !req
649. We can kill him now with
no flack from anybody.Copy !req
650. Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor,Copy !req
651. That old lady was hardly
a pillar of the community.Copy !req
652. In fact, she can a head of an
international white slavery ring.Copy !req
653. Shit...Copy !req
654. And she had a police record a mile long.Copy !req
655. We've got to cover this up.Copy !req
656. If it ever gets out to
the press we're sunk.Copy !req
657. And I want you to do me a favor.
Kill that bastard for me! You got it?Copy !req
658. Kill him!Copy !req
659. Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor!Copy !req
660. Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention please.Copy !req
661. Mayor Peter Bellgoode
will now take questionsCopy !req
662. from the ladies and gentlemen
of the press.Copy !req
663. Uh, Miss Fink.Copy !req
664. What your administration stance
in regards to this alleged monster?Copy !req
665. Is he a menace or a miracle?Copy !req
666. He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink.
Right now therefs a massiveCopy !req
667. search underway to find
the thing and destroy it.Copy !req
668. Yes, Mr. Leonard?Copy !req
669. Instead of trying to kill him,
shouldn't we be tryingCopy !req
670. to capture him,
bring him in, study him?Copy !req
671. It is not a human being.
It is an it. You kill an it.Copy !req
672. Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor.Copy !req
673. Yes, Mr. Williams?Copy !req
674. The victim killed in the dry
cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel.Copy !req
675. What's her background?
What do we know about her?Copy !req
676. Mrs. Haskel was a member of
our community for over 30 years.Copy !req
677. Also a member of the PTA.
She had two fine sons.Copy !req
678. Everyone that know her, loved her.Copy !req
679. Question! Question!
Are you certain, Mr. Mayor,Copy !req
680. that the chief Himmel
and the police departmentCopy !req
681. can handle the situation in Tromaville?Copy !req
682. I have the utmost regard for
the chief, and his department.Copy !req
683. As I've said, he's conducting
a massive searchCopy !req
684. for the monster right now.Copy !req
685. I want this thing found
and I want this thing killed!Copy !req
686. The mayor has notified the
governor and he's preparedCopy !req
687. to give us all the assistance we need.Copy !req
688. Should we break out
the heavy weapons?Copy !req
689. Come on, boys.Copy !req
690. I'd be dead right now if
it wasn't for the monster!Copy !req
691. Don't you think you're
being a bit hasty?Copy !req
692. Clancy, you will do as you're
told or you'll find yourselfCopy !req
693. walking a beat in the city dump!Copy !req
694. Now I want this thing shot
and I want you to shoot to kill!Copy !req
695. That monster saved my life.
He's done a lot of good for this town.Copy !req
696. Why are they going to kill him?Copy !req
697. We should speak out!
Do something!Copy !req
698. Roy, why don't you do something!
Speak out!Copy !req
699. You want me to speak up?
If I speak up,Copy !req
700. I lose my business license.
If I lose my business license,Copy !req
701. I'm dead.
Do you want another shake?Copy !req
702. No! I want them
not to kill the monster.Copy !req
703. I want us to do something!Copy !req
704. Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid.Copy !req
705. People can't go around doing
things just because they're right.Copy !req
706. We have to leave these
decisions up to the mayorCopy !req
707. - and the police chief.
- That's right.Copy !req
708. But why would the mayor
want to destroy somethingCopy !req
709. that does more good than
the entire police force?Copy !req
710. No offense.Copy !req
711. I know how you feel, Johnny,
he saved my life too.Copy !req
712. But us, little guys, are just not
qualified to make these decisions.Copy !req
713. That's why he's the mayor.Copy !req
714. Right?Copy !req
715. We're gonna find that bastard, now.
Come on. Come on, girl!Copy !req
716. Heel. Come on.Copy !req
717. My first day on the force
and I'm chasing monsters!Copy !req
718. The dogs got a scent!Copy !req
719. I'm missing the ball
game for this bullshit!Copy !req
720. We ain't going to find
no monster out here,Copy !req
721. all we're going to find is a bunch
of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole!Copy !req
722. Shut your fuckin' mouth!Copy !req
723. Hold on a second,
I think I see something.Copy !req
724. You don't see nothing but a coupleCopy !req
725. of campers humping each other.
Come on, let's go home!Copy !req
726. Holy shit! It's the monster!Copy !req
727. Oh, sure!Copy !req
728. And he's got a bimbo with him!Copy !req
729. Oh, he's got your Mama with him!Copy !req
730. And she's wearing a bikini! Wow!Copy !req
731. Wait, let me see!Copy !req
732. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
733. Come on, let's go tell the chief!
I'm going to get me a medal for this!Copy !req
734. Mayor! Mayor! Mayor!Copy !req
735. The monster has been sighted
in a field near Miller farm.Copy !req
736. That's wonderful!Copy !req
737. I'll have the National Guard
meet us out there in full force.Copy !req
738. You leave now!Copy !req
739. Ja!Copy !req
740. Hello, Mr. Governor,
how are you, sir?Copy !req
741. Fine, just fine.Copy !req
742. Governor, I need your help, sir.Copy !req
743. It's about this monster that's
been terrorizing my town.Copy !req
744. The local authorities can no
longer handle the situation.Copy !req
745. That's why I need your help.Copy !req
746. The National Guard?Copy !req
747. I was hoping you'd say that,
so we can kill it.Copy !req
748. Capture it? Well, I was
thinking the very same thing.Copy !req
749. Yes, capture would be fine.
Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor.Copy !req
750. Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir.Copy !req
751. Capture, my ass!Copy !req
752. I don't like the way
this is going sargent.Copy !req
753. I know.Copy !req
754. The little people think he's
done a lot for this town.Copy !req
755. Oh, my God! They're calling
in the National Guard!Copy !req
756. Oh, look at all those men!Copy !req
757. Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster.Copy !req
758. Monster, they aught to give
him a medal, not kill him.Copy !req
759. They're going to nuke him!
They're going to nuke the monster!Copy !req
760. - They found the monster!
- He's at the Miller Farm!Copy !req
761. They're going to kill him!Copy !req
762. Holy cow! We can't let him die!Copy !req
763. Let's go!Copy !req
764. Out of the way!Copy !req
765. Stand aside.Copy !req
766. Tent's in the clearing, Mayor.
My troops have it surrounded.Copy !req
767. We think he's still asleep.Copy !req
768. Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out.Copy !req
769. You can't do that, Mayor.
I've rechecked with headquartersCopy !req
770. They want us to
take him alive, not kill him.Copy !req
771. Your in charge, Pete.
Come on, give the orders!Copy !req
772. Mr. mayor, please, please, think of
what you are doing!Copy !req
773. There's an innocent girl
in there with him!Copy !req
774. Just one life for the whole town!Copy !req
775. But, Mr Mayor,
you don't understand!Copy !req
776. He saved my life!
He doesn't deserve to die!Copy !req
777. Shut up!Copy !req
778. Now you don't understand the
seriousness of this situation here, boy!Copy !req
779. How dare you discuss my
son's life or death like this.Copy !req
780. I'm Melvin's mother.
He's a good boy.Copy !req
781. He's never hurt anybody!Copy !req
782. Silence! Silence!
The orders have been given!Copy !req
783. It is our destiny to follow the orders!Copy !req
784. You in the tent, come out
with your hands up!Copy !req
785. You are surrounded!Copy !req
786. Grrr?Copy !req
787. The minute he comes out, kill him.Copy !req
788. - I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
789. You've got to stay here.Copy !req
790. No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero.
I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it!Copy !req
791. Don't shoot him! Don't shoot!Copy !req
792. If you want to shoot my son,
you'll have to shoot me first!Copy !req
793. Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there!Copy !req
794. It's okay, Mom. Kids.Copy !req
795. Shoot it!Copy !req
796. Run! Run! Grrr!Copy !req
797. Fire!Copy !req
798. No, I won't do it.Copy !req
799. These kids are right.Copy !req
800. Captain, have your men fire!Copy !req
801. No, I can't.Copy !req
802. Shoot them! You shoot!Copy !req
803. Fire!Copy !req
804. Melvin!Copy !req
805. Alright, I'll do it myself!Copy !req
806. No!Copy !req
807. You touch me again and I'll kill you!Copy !req
808. Get away from me!Copy !req
809. Get away from me!Copy !req
810. No!
Ah, get away from me!Copy !req
811. Leave me alone!
Look, I'll make you a deal!Copy !req
812. I'll give you 10%, anything,
just leave alone!Copy !req
813. Grr!Copy !req
814. Don't hurt me!
I'm too young to die!Copy !req
815. Please don't hurt me!Copy !req
816. Please!Copy !req
817. You fat slob,
let's see if you have any guts!Copy !req
818. Aaahhh!Copy !req
819. Officer O'Clancy,
take care of this toxic waste.Copy !req
820. Melvin!Copy !req
821. Sarah!Copy !req
822. Melvin!Copy !req
823. Sara!Copy !req
824. Melvin! Ah!Copy !req
825. Sarah!Copy !req
826. Melvin!Copy !req
827. Sarah!Copy !req
828. Melvin?Copy !req
829. Sarah!Copy !req
830. So, Melvin, the monster hero,
rid Tromaville of all of it's evils,Copy !req
831. so the good citizens could live
their lives in peace and happiness.Copy !req
832. And the next time you're in
danger or in need to help,Copy !req
833. look to the horizon and
maybe, just maybe...Copy !req
834. The Toxic Avenger will be there.Copy !req