1. Hey, Kantmiss!Copy !req
2. I am the great
and powerful—Copy !req
3. Aah!Copy !req
4. Dale!Copy !req
5. Just wanted
to surprise you.Copy !req
6. You made me miss my shot.Copy !req
7. Ow.Copy !req
8. Son of a bitch!
My back!Copy !req
9. Look what I got.Copy !req
10. Is it real?Copy !req
11. Ohh!
Psych!Copy !req
12. It's gag bread!Copy !req
13. Look at you.Copy !req
14. Right.Copy !req
15. You know...Copy !req
16. we could run away
from here.Copy !req
17. We could live
someplace else.Copy !req
18. Like where?Copy !req
19. Anywhere that's
better than here.Copy !req
20. Darfur. Syria.Copy !req
21. New Jersey.Copy !req
22. Dale, that's—that's
romantic and all...Copy !req
23. but I can't leave
my sister.Copy !req
24. I can't leave either.Copy !req
25. My dear, old grandma
depends on me to feed her.Copy !req
26. God, I am never
having kids.Copy !req
27. I mean, how can
you raise a childCopy !req
28. in a world
where they televiseCopy !req
29. all of life's misery and
inhumanity and then pass it offCopy !req
30. as some sort of twisted
entertainment?Copy !req
31. "The Hunger Games."Copy !req
32. "16 and Pregnant."Copy !req
33. Good morning,Copy !req
34. hungry citizens
of District 12.Copy !req
35. In today's news,
we still have no food,Copy !req
36. and the weather
will be shitty.Copy !req
37. Oh, and don't forget,Copy !req
38. today is
the Gathering Ceremony,Copy !req
39. so, parents, please bring
your beloved childrenCopy !req
40. to the square
for a random death lottery.Copy !req
41. Thank you.Copy !req
42. I heard that some kids
are so afraidCopy !req
43. of getting picked
for the GamesCopy !req
44. that they'll actually
try to get disqualifiedCopy !req
45. by injuring or
maiming themselves.Copy !req
46. That's an urban legend.Copy !req
47. Uhh!Copy !req
48. Get in line.Copy !req
49. Oh, come on,
bitch.Copy !req
50. Ipso facto p—Copy !req
51. Your movie franchise
is over.Copy !req
52. Get back in line.Copy !req
53. Get back in line.Copy !req
54. Bloody dick.Copy !req
55. Hey, no talking.Copy !req
56. Keep it moving.Copy !req
57. I gotta find my sister.Copy !req
58. Good luck.Copy !req
59. Petunia.
Kantmiss.Copy !req
60. Hey, Mom.Copy !req
61. I'm scared, Kantmiss.
I'm scared.Copy !req
62. Hey, hey, don't be.
I got you this.Copy !req
63. It's the most courageous bird
that there is...Copy !req
64. a chicken.Copy !req
65. When you wear this,
nothing bad can happen to you.Copy !req
66. Shh. Shh.
No, don't cry.Copy !req
67. You're gonna
be fine, okay?Copy !req
68. I promise.Copy !req
69. Keep moving.Copy !req
70. Line up!Copy !req
71. Girls on the right.
Boys on the left!Copy !req
72. Welcome to the 75th annual
Starving Games.Copy !req
73. Oh. Oh! Ohh!Copy !req
74. Hey.
Ohh!Copy !req
75. But that was
my sausage!Copy !req
76. And now a video
from our esteemed leader,Copy !req
77. President Snowballs.Copy !req
78. He once killed
his own mother...Copy !req
79. because she forgot to cut
the crust off his PB&J.Copy !req
80. His only Facebook friend
is Mel Gibson.Copy !req
81. He has an online blogCopy !req
82. that gives away
the endings of moviesCopy !req
83. without ever using the
disclaimer "spoiler alert."Copy !req
84. What?
He is...Copy !req
85. the most terrible man
in the world.Copy !req
86. I don't always like beer,Copy !req
87. but when I want one,
I choose Tres Equis.Copy !req
88. Tastes like piss water.Copy !req
89. Aah!Copy !req
90. Every year, I make you
watch this video,Copy !req
91. because, well,
you're dumb.Copy !req
92. People forget
how in the pastCopy !req
93. shit really hit the fan.Copy !req
94. Corporations got too big,
and people lost trust.Copy !req
95. They staged sit-ins.
They rioted.Copy !req
96. You elected Lady Gaga
as PresidentCopy !req
97. and her running mate
Nicki Minaj.Copy !req
98. That's why we wear
these kooky clothes nowCopy !req
99. and have bizarre hairdos.Copy !req
100. Then I took overCopy !req
101. and separated the country
into districtsCopy !req
102. so that stupid shit
never happened again.Copy !req
103. Aah!Copy !req
104. You've proven that democracy
doesn't work,Copy !req
105. and I'm here, in my sixth
self-proclaimed term,Copy !req
106. to ensure that all free will
is expunged,Copy !req
107. never to rear
its ugly head again.Copy !req
108. Yes, that brings us
to today.Copy !req
109. Just to prove what
a sick, sadistic prick I amCopy !req
110. and how you have
no control...Copy !req
111. and admittedly after
watching "The Running Man"Copy !req
112. and the Japanese
cult hit "Battle Royale,"Copy !req
113. I came up with
the Starving Games.Copy !req
114. Two kids from each district
are selectedCopy !req
115. to play a game to the death
with only one survivor.Copy !req
116. The winner is to be
showered with a bounty,Copy !req
117. including an old ham...Copy !req
118. Oh, I love old ham.Copy !req
119. this coupon to Subway—Copy !req
120. buy any foot-long
for a six-inch price—Copy !req
121. and...Copy !req
122. a partially eaten pickle.Copy !req
123. So happy Starving Games,Copy !req
124. and may the odds be
never in your favor.Copy !req
125. A President Snowballs
production.Copy !req
126. Now let the gathering
begin! Ahem.Copy !req
127. Hugh Janus.Copy !req
128. Hmm?Copy !req
129. No? Yeah. All right.Copy !req
130. I'll pick again. Heh.Copy !req
131. Phil Mahooters.Copy !req
132. Please, Phil Mahooters?Copy !req
133. Dean Gullberry.Copy !req
134. Everyone look around.Copy !req
135. Check behind you
for a Dean Gullberry.Copy !req
136. This is being televised
around the country!Copy !req
137. You won't be laughingCopy !req
138. when two of you are picked
and thrown into the arenaCopy !req
139. for your
most certain deaths.Copy !req
140. Ahem.Copy !req
141. It's okay.Copy !req
142. Petunia Evershot.Copy !req
143. Whoo!Copy !req
144. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
145. I didn't get picked.Copy !req
146. Hoo-whoo!Copy !req
147. Hoo! Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
148. Whoo! Come on!
Gimme some.Copy !req
149. Yeah. One more.
Oh! Whew.Copy !req
150. But I got picked.Copy !req
151. Petunia, I am so sorry.Copy !req
152. Petunia, no. Not fair.Copy !req
153. Do not give me
those puppy-dog eyes.Copy !req
154. I volunteer!Copy !req
155. Oh.Copy !req
156. I volunteer
for the Starving Games!Copy !req
157. Thanks, big sis.Copy !req
158. Oh! If you never make it
back from the Games,Copy !req
159. can I eat
your pet hamster?Copy !req
160. What?Copy !req
161. Come, dear.Copy !req
162. Now let's pick a boy to
join you in the games.Copy !req
163. I volunteer also!Copy !req
164. Who said that?Copy !req
165. I did.Copy !req
166. I'm Peter Malarkey.Copy !req
167. Oh.Copy !req
168. Hey, Kantmiss.Copy !req
169. I volunteered
because I like you,Copy !req
170. a lot, and I—
I'm sorry.Copy !req
171. Do I know you?Copy !req
172. Um...Copy !req
173. I'm—I'm the baker's son.Copy !req
174. I once fed you
when you were hungry.Copy !req
175. Oh, right.Copy !req
176. You gave me
that walnut bread.Copy !req
177. Yeah.Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. I have a severe
nut allergy,Copy !req
180. and I almost died.Copy !req
181. Let's hear it for
our contestants!Copy !req
182. And don't forget to tune in
to the Starving GamesCopy !req
183. after the season finale
of "Downton Abbey."Copy !req
184. Can't we say
our goodbyes?Copy !req
185. Of course, dear.Copy !req
186. The Capital isn't
completely inhumane.Copy !req
187. You got 9 seconds.Copy !req
188. Petunia!
Kantmiss!Copy !req
189. Don't worry. You're in
good hands with Mom.Copy !req
190. What's up with
that Peter dude?Copy !req
191. What?Copy !req
192. I mean he's
a total dork, right?Copy !req
193. How much do you
think he benches?Copy !req
194. Uh...Copy !req
195. Time's up!Copy !req
196. Dale!
Yeah?Copy !req
197. Promise me you'll
take care of Petunia!Copy !req
198. I will,
Kantmiss.Copy !req
199. I promise.Copy !req
200. Wait!Copy !req
201. Later.Copy !req
202. Shitheads.Copy !req
203. The Nike Swoosh?Copy !req
204. Yes, I started sellingCopy !req
205. advertising space
on my face.Copy !req
206. Your willingness to sell
out and whore yourselfCopy !req
207. is the primary reason I
made you head programmer.Copy !req
208. Thank you, Mr. President.Copy !req
209. How is
the big TV show looking?Copy !req
210. Fantastic. We've replaced Charlie
Sheen with Ashton Kutcher,Copy !req
211. and no one really
seems to give a shit.Copy !req
212. And the Starving Games?Copy !req
213. It's gonna be
a great show.Copy !req
214. We have some
very interesting contestants,Copy !req
215. with 2 volunteers
from District 12.Copy !req
216. Volunteers.Copy !req
217. R-O-T-F-L-O-L.Copy !req
218. And because
you made it lawCopy !req
219. that whoever doesn't watch the
Games would be publicly flogged,Copy !req
220. we're expecting
record high ratings.Copy !req
221. Well, after
last years debacle,Copy !req
222. I really had no choice.Copy !req
223. "Celebrity Starving
Games" was a lousy idea.Copy !req
224. No one
could have anticipatedCopy !req
225. that Oprah would eat
all the other contestants.Copy !req
226. I want this game to go
off without a hitch.Copy !req
227. I don't want
some underdogCopy !req
228. from a poor district to enter the
Games and stir up the massesCopy !req
229. with her archery skills
and her brunette hairCopy !req
230. fashioned into a
trademark single braid,Copy !req
231. inspiring revolt which will not
only overthrows my presidency,Copy !req
232. but also spawns
a successfulCopy !req
233. four-quadrant
blockbuster.Copy !req
234. Ohh!Copy !req
235. And I may need
a new gardener.Copy !req
236. I'm Stanley Ceaserman,
and this isCopy !req
237. "The Starving Games
Countdown Show!"Copy !req
238. Tomorrow, the Games begin,Copy !req
239. but tonight, we're going
to meet the contestants.Copy !req
240. You'll get to know themCopy !req
241. through their
touching backstories,Copy !req
242. where we'll manipulate you
with heavily editedCopy !req
243. home video footage
and tragic testimonials.Copy !req
244. Then, when you're emotionally
attached to them,Copy !req
245. we'll send them off
to their horrific slaughter.Copy !req
246. Let's meet
our first contestant.Copy !req
247. Going in order
from District One,Copy !req
248. he's the odds-on favorite
to win this thing.Copy !req
249. He's blond. He's Waspy.Copy !req
250. He's the Aryan youth
incarnate.Copy !req
251. He's Marco!Copy !req
252. Yeah!Copy !req
253. Ahh! Yeah!Copy !req
254. Hello, guy.Copy !req
255. Tell us
about yourself.Copy !req
256. I'm from District One.
It's a prime district.Copy !req
257. Who are you?Copy !req
258. I'm Cinnamon,Copy !req
259. your stylist.Copy !req
260. How are you
holding up?Copy !req
261. I'm scared.Copy !req
262. I don't want to die.Copy !req
263. Ahh. I'm here
to tell youCopy !req
264. that I
believe in you.Copy !req
265. You can win this.Copy !req
266. I looked
at your records,Copy !req
267. and you are smarter and
craftier than all of them.Copy !req
268. Really? You think
that I can win?Copy !req
269. Yes, Patricia.Copy !req
270. I know it.Copy !req
271. Who's Patricia?Copy !req
272. You're not the girl
from District Three?Copy !req
273. No, I'm from
District 12.Copy !req
274. You know, this is
perfectly normal.Copy !req
275. You seem like you strong—Copy !req
276. And now, from District 12,
Peter Malarkey.Copy !req
277. So, Peter, tell us,Copy !req
278. is there a special
someone in your life?Copy !req
279. Yeah.Copy !req
280. Yeah, there is someone.Copy !req
281. Aww.
Aww.Copy !req
282. Ohh.Copy !req
283. Well, do tell.Copy !req
284. The person's
actually here tonight,Copy !req
285. a person who is...Copy !req
286. also in the Games.Copy !req
287. In the Games with you?Copy !req
288. Aww.
Aww.Copy !req
289. Well, go on.Copy !req
290. Well...Copy !req
291. it's a person
I've been wantingCopy !req
292. to get closer to
for a long time.Copy !req
293. You son of a bitch.Copy !req
294. So...Copy !req
295. tall,Copy !req
296. with beautiful eyesCopy !req
297. and a smoking
hot bod, but...Copy !req
298. you know,
more than anything,Copy !req
299. this person's
got a lot of heart.Copy !req
300. Aww.
Aww.Copy !req
301. Well, you must tell us.
Who is it?Copy !req
302. It's Marco!Copy !req
303. Me?Copy !req
304. Heh.Copy !req
305. Huh?
Huh?Copy !req
306. Let's hear it
for Peter.Copy !req
307. You little shit!Copy !req
308. I'm gonna stick
a foot in your ass!Copy !req
309. Ohh! Jeez.Copy !req
310. What the hell
was that about?Copy !req
311. It's called
building an alliance.Copy !req
312. Haven't you ever watched
"Survivor" or "Big Brother"?Copy !req
313. - Aah!
- When's—Copy !req
314. When was the last time
you trimmed your toenails?Copy !req
315. Ohh.Copy !req
316. And now, for our
final contestant,Copy !req
317. from District 12,Copy !req
318. Kantmiss Evershot.Copy !req
319. Whoo!Copy !req
320. Let's take a look.Copy !req
321. Kantmiss is the best
big sister in the world.Copy !req
322. She takes care of me.
She feeds me. She clothes me.Copy !req
323. She even reads to me.Copy !req
324. Ever since Dad died,Copy !req
325. Mom's been
a little bummed out,Copy !req
326. but that doesn't stop the three of
us from having a whole lot of fun.Copy !req
327. From the first time
I saw Kantmiss, I knew.Copy !req
328. I knew she was
the one for me.Copy !req
329. She's got class.Copy !req
330. She's a real lady.Copy !req
331. Oh, my God.Copy !req
332. Ohh!
Oh, my God.Copy !req
333. Ohh!
Ohh!Copy !req
334. Isn't that
just touching?Copy !req
335. Aww.
Aww.Copy !req
336. Let's bring her out,
shall we?Copy !req
337. Kantmiss Evershot!Copy !req
338. So, Kantmiss,
that's quite a dress.Copy !req
339. Give us a little spin.Copy !req
340. Heh. Go on.Copy !req
341. Don't be shy.Copy !req
342. Very nice.Copy !req
343. Oh.Copy !req
344. Wow, I'm getting word
that flamesCopy !req
345. actually ignite
from the dress.Copy !req
346. Flames?Copy !req
347. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
348. - Oh, my God.
- Oh,Copy !req
349. Oh, Aah!Copy !req
350. Why are you clapping,
you stupid?Copy !req
351. Aah!Copy !req
352. - I'm on fire!
- I'm on fire!Copy !req
353. Let's hear it for Kantmiss,
the girl on fire!Copy !req
354. Ah,
It's on fire!Copy !req
355. It's on fire! It burns!Copy !req
356. I'm on fire!Copy !req
357. Good morning, sport fans,Copy !req
358. and welcome to the 75th
annual Starving Games.Copy !req
359. I'm your host Bob Hylox,Copy !req
360. and with me is my sidekickCopy !req
361. and color commentator,
Cleaver Williams.Copy !req
362. Cleaver, how you doing?Copy !req
363. Excited about
today's Games?Copy !req
364. Fantastic.Copy !req
365. Cleaver is a past
Games winner, of course.Copy !req
366. In fact, Cleaver,
why don't you tell everybodyCopy !req
367. in the district watching,Copy !req
368. how you got
that delightful nickname.Copy !req
369. I used a meat cleaver
to kill everyone.Copy !req
370. Still got the old moves.Copy !req
371. Hello, Siri.Copy !req
372. Hello, Seleca.Copy !req
373. How's it hanging, boo?Copy !req
374. Low and to the left.Copy !req
375. Good one.Copy !req
376. All right.
Looks like the contestantsCopy !req
377. have taken the field.Copy !req
378. All right, Siri,
cut to the field.Copy !req
379. Say your prayers, my son,
'cause you are dead.Copy !req
380. And the countdown
has begun.Copy !req
381. 30,Copy !req
382. 29...Copy !req
383. Oh, God.
28...Copy !req
384. 27...Copy !req
385. Hmm?Copy !req
386. 26...Copy !req
387. 25...Copy !req
388. 24,Copy !req
389. 23,Copy !req
390. 22...Copy !req
391. 21...Copy !req
392. Now, it's very importantCopy !req
393. that the contestants
don't moveCopy !req
394. off the silver circles
before zero.Copy !req
395. Otherwise, kablammo,Copy !req
396. as the field is booby-trapped
with explosives.Copy !req
397. Don't need to remind me.Copy !req
398. I went too soon, and I
still can't poop right.Copy !req
399. How 'bout that?Copy !req
400. 13,Copy !req
401. 12...Copy !req
402. 11...
Huh?Copy !req
403. What are you
doing here?Copy !req
404. We were asked
to performCopy !req
405. at the opening
ceremony.Copy !req
406. This is the arena.Copy !req
407. Oh, you're looking
for stage two.Copy !req
408. Oh. Thanks.
Thanks.Copy !req
409. Oops.Copy !req
410. Wow! What a way
to start the Games!Copy !req
411. 10,Copy !req
412. 9...Copy !req
413. 8...Copy !req
414. 7...Copy !req
415. 6,Copy !req
416. 5...Copy !req
417. 4...Copy !req
418. 3...Copy !req
419. 2...Copy !req
420. 1.Copy !req
421. Siri, more blood.Copy !req
422. Oh.Copy !req
423. Much better.Copy !req
424. Ooh!
Ooh!Copy !req
425. Yeah, Marco! Yeah!Copy !req
426. Let go!Copy !req
427. I got here first!Copy !req
428. Yaah!
Now give it to me!Copy !req
429. No. I'm not letting go.Copy !req
430. There is a dagger
in your back!Copy !req
431. I'm okay!Copy !req
432. What?Copy !req
433. It's fine.Copy !req
434. It's fine?Copy !req
435. Seriously?
You're not letting go?Copy !req
436. I want this backpack!Copy !req
437. I want this backpack!Copy !req
438. I want it. It's mine!Copy !req
439. I'm not letting go!Copy !req
440. That was my backpack!Copy !req
441. What was that sound?Copy !req
442. It's the cannon.
They shoot it offCopy !req
443. to announce whenever
someone is killed.Copy !req
444. Nice.
Looks like the oddsCopy !req
445. just got better
for me, then.Copy !req
446. My balls!Copy !req
447. Oh! That has
got to hurt.Copy !req
448. Let's see
an instant replay.Copy !req
449. My balls!Copy !req
450. My balls!Copy !req
451. My balls!Copy !req
452. My ball—Copy !req
453. My ball—
My—My ball—Copy !req
454. My ball—Copy !req
455. My balls!Copy !req
456. That makes me
laugh, Bob.Copy !req
457. Get away from me!Copy !req
458. Wow!Copy !req
459. Who is this girl?Copy !req
460. What district
is she from?Copy !req
461. I'm standing here
in scummy District 12,Copy !req
462. where people can't believe
that Peter and KantmissCopy !req
463. have actually survived
the opening.Copy !req
464. You can see
the excitement is high,Copy !req
465. as no one from this district
has won in a very long time.Copy !req
466. Yeah!
Unh!Copy !req
467. Go, Kantmiss! Whoo!Copy !req
468. That's my girl!Copy !req
469. That's my girl!Copy !req
470. Yeah!Copy !req
471. Back to you
in the studio.Copy !req
472. I'm on TV!Copy !req
473. Thanks, Stanley.Copy !req
474. And how's the scoreboard
looking, Cleaver?Copy !req
475. Got a lot
of people dead.Copy !req
476. Still,
lot of people alive.Copy !req
477. Enlightening.Copy !req
478. Oh, looks like Kantmiss
is making her wayCopy !req
479. to the outer edge
of the arena.Copy !req
480. Siri, slow her down.Copy !req
481. Ow.Copy !req
482. Now let's get Kantmiss back
to the center of the action.Copy !req
483. Holla!Copy !req
484. And cue the thrilling
action music.Copy !req
485. Ooh.Copy !req
486. Hmm.Copy !req
487. Oh, you want
to play, huh? Okay.Copy !req
488. Siri.Copy !req
489. Yeah, what you need?Copy !req
490. Attack her
with the latestCopy !req
491. technological weaponry
we have.Copy !req
492. Whoo-hah!Copy !req
493. Oh, shit!Copy !req
494. Yah! Whee hee hee!Copy !req
495. Hee hee hee!Copy !req
496. No.Copy !req
497. What? What?Copy !req
498. Orange you glad
to see me?Copy !req
499. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
500. What do you get
when you cross an orangeCopy !req
501. with Quentin Tarantino?Copy !req
502. "Pulp Fiction."
You get it?Copy !req
503. Pulp.Copy !req
504. Hey, Kantmiss,Copy !req
505. last time I saw
tits that small,Copy !req
506. I was staring
at a pair of kumquats.Copy !req
507. Aah!Copy !req
508. Go, Kantmiss!Copy !req
509. Ooh,Copy !req
510. she sure showed
yo' sorry ass up!Copy !req
511. You—You shut up, Siri.
You shut up!Copy !req
512. Shit. Don't hate
the player.Copy !req
513. You—
Hate the game!Copy !req
514. Wow! I've never seen
anyone do that before.Copy !req
515. She's badass.Copy !req
516. Respect.Copy !req
517. Reminds me
a little bit of myself.Copy !req
518. I'll stop now before
I get too emotional.Copy !req
519. Eat my ass!Copy !req
520. Think you're so tough?Copy !req
521. Well, come back
from this, bitch!Copy !req
522. Hey, guys, come on!
Let's go this way!Copy !req
523. Come on. Hurry!Copy !req
524. Let's go!Copy !req
525. When I see her,
she's mine.Copy !req
526. She's gotta be
around here somewhere.Copy !req
527. You sure Kantmiss
came this way?Copy !req
528. Uh, I know it.Copy !req
529. How can we be so sure
that we can trust you?Copy !req
530. I mean, didn't you volunteer
to be in the gamesCopy !req
531. just so you can get
closer to Kantmiss?Copy !req
532. No.Copy !req
533. I mean, maybe at first,Copy !req
534. but I don't
like her anymore.Copy !req
535. Really?Copy !req
536. Well, you know,Copy !req
537. back in District 12,
she's—Copy !req
538. she's known
as quite the whore.Copy !req
539. Ahh.Copy !req
540. There.Copy !req
541. Heh.Copy !req
542. Nice work, Peter.Copy !req
543. Thanks.Copy !req
544. I'm gonna bust her gut
wide open.Copy !req
545. This little princess
is all mine.Copy !req
546. Raah!Copy !req
547. And there's
Kantmiss!Copy !req
548. Oh, no.
We're gonna kill you.Copy !req
549. Right after we eat
our delicious treats.Copy !req
550. Huh?Copy !req
551. How can you
be with them?Copy !req
552. I don't know.Copy !req
553. I—I guess I just...Copy !req
554. really like them.Copy !req
555. Th-They're so cool
and popular.Copy !req
556. I mean, I'm in
the high school A/V club.Copy !req
557. I've never been able to hang
with the in crowd before.Copy !req
558. Mmm.
Stay with us.Copy !req
559. So good.Copy !req
560. Mmm. Oh.Copy !req
561. Hey, they said they want
to go to prom with me.Copy !req
562. We're gonna rent a limo
and everything.Copy !req
563. Isn't that awesome?Copy !req
564. Peter, they are
just using you.Copy !req
565. There can only be one winner
of the Starving Games.Copy !req
566. Right.Copy !req
567. All right, Kantmiss,
game over.Copy !req
568. Glammer, you're up.Copy !req
569. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
570. Oh! Looks like we got
ourselves a streaker.Copy !req
571. Happens every Game.Copy !req
572. What a yahoo.Copy !req
573. Get out of here, man.
Get out of here!Copy !req
574. Come back here.
Come back here.Copy !req
575. Give me that.Copy !req
576. Nice impaling.
Yeah.Copy !req
577. He did this.Copy !req
578. Then it did that.Copy !req
579. Indeed, Cleaver.Copy !req
580. And that's
definitely gonna beCopy !req
581. our Kill of the Day!Copy !req
582. Kill of the Day!Copy !req
583. Kill of the Day—
of the Day!Copy !req
584. Our Kill of the Day
is brought to youCopy !req
585. by BetLife
insurance.Copy !req
586. Because life
is precious...Copy !req
587. BetLife.Copy !req
588. How are we going
to kill her?Copy !req
589. Ahem.Copy !req
590. Uh...Copy !req
591. why don't
we just take off,Copy !req
592. uh, go kill
some other kidsCopy !req
593. and come back later?Copy !req
594. We'll wait.Copy !req
595. She has to come down
sooner or later.Copy !req
596. Gross.Copy !req
597. Hey.Copy !req
598. Shh.Copy !req
599. Oh.Copy !req
600. Have the bees
land on their heads.Copy !req
601. Okay. No, shh. Shh.Copy !req
602. Those are tracker bees.Copy !req
603. Getting stung causes
serious hallucinations.Copy !req
604. Or death.Copy !req
605. Oh!Copy !req
606. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
607. Oh! My ass! Aah!Copy !req
608. I think I
just swallowed one!Copy !req
609. Whoa.Copy !req
610. Ooh.Copy !req
611. Whoa. Ooh.Copy !req
612. What—Copy !req
613. Oh, my God. Oh!Copy !req
614. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
615. Whoo.Copy !req
616. Oh.Copy !req
617. No way.Copy !req
618. Double rainbow.Copy !req
619. Whoo!Copy !req
620. Double rainbow! Ha!Copy !req
621. Oh.Copy !req
622. It's starting to lookCopy !req
623. like a quadruple rainbow!Copy !req
624. Oh, my Gooood!Copy !req
625. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
626. Ah ha ha!Copy !req
627. Oh, taste the rainbow.Copy !req
628. Ooh.Copy !req
629. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
630. Oh. Wha?Copy !req
631. Oh, my—Copy !req
632. What is...Copy !req
633. Oh.Copy !req
634. Do not make
any sudden movements.Copy !req
635. What's wrong?Copy !req
636. I've never
seen this happen before.Copy !req
637. What are they?Copy !req
638. Soul keepers.Copy !req
639. Soul keepers!Copy !req
640. Ah! Oh, my God! Get 'em off!
Get 'em off!Copy !req
641. Get 'em off!
Get 'em off!Copy !req
642. You are not
keeping my soul!Copy !req
643. Oh! Why?Copy !req
644. Right above your head.Copy !req
645. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
646. Whew.Copy !req
647. I think
I got 'em all.Copy !req
648. Soul Keepers hold all of the
souls of our ancient ancestors.Copy !req
649. There goes my sister,Copy !req
650. my grandmaCopy !req
651. and my drunk
Aunt Sheila.Copy !req
652. Oops.Copy !req
653. Who are you?Copy !req
654. We are a proud
and ancient peopleCopy !req
655. created by James Cameron.Copy !req
656. I'm the king
of the world!Copy !req
657. Here.Copy !req
658. Give me your hair.Copy !req
659. We'll join the ends
and make love,Copy !req
660. Na'vi style.Copy !req
661. Okay.Copy !req
662. Ohh.Copy !req
663. Yeah.Copy !req
664. Oh, yes.Copy !req
665. Kantmiss.Copy !req
666. Kantmiss!Copy !req
667. Kantmiss!Copy !req
668. Kantmiss!Copy !req
669. Yes.Copy !req
670. Kantmiss! Kantmiss!Copy !req
671. Kantmiss!Copy !req
672. Are you trying
to hook up with me?Copy !req
673. What? No!Copy !req
674. No, no, no, no. Um...Copy !req
675. I think that I was
just hallucinating.Copy !req
676. You better not be.
I'm only 12.Copy !req
677. The way I see it,
if we're gonna survive,Copy !req
678. we should
work together.Copy !req
679. But what happens if we're
the last two standing?Copy !req
680. I won't hesitate.Copy !req
681. This competition
is kill or be killed,Copy !req
682. and I will kill you
where you stand,Copy !req
683. dead, end of story.Copy !req
684. Shit ain't personal,Copy !req
685. strictly business
ya dig?Copy !req
686. Okay. Here's what
I was thinking.Copy !req
687. I could set some firesCopy !req
688. to flush Marco and his crew
out into the clearing,Copy !req
689. and if you find
a bow and arrow,Copy !req
690. you could pick 'em off.Copy !req
691. No, no. That's—
That's a great idea,Copy !req
692. and Marco
will never see it coming.Copy !req
693. Hello?Copy !req
694. I'm right here.Copy !req
695. Run! Run!Copy !req
696. Get her!Copy !req
697. Shit.Copy !req
698. Totally outnumbered.Copy !req
699. What do I do?
What do I do?Copy !req
700. Think, Kantmiss. Think.Copy !req
701. Hemorrhoidal irritation.Copy !req
702. Aggravate with a swift
kick to the posterior.Copy !req
703. Raah!Copy !req
704. Low-hung scrotum.
Debilitate withCopy !req
705. concise rabbit punch
to the testicular sac.Copy !req
706. Awkward metallic orthodontic
corrective device.Copy !req
707. Snap rubber bands to create
blunt force to the cranium.Copy !req
708. Rampant adolescent
acne vulgaris.Copy !req
709. Ah.Copy !req
710. Prescribe
topical acne cream.Copy !req
711. Pubescent boy
with raging hormones.Copy !req
712. Disarm with natural assets.Copy !req
713. Allow to motorboat.Copy !req
714. You're pretty.Copy !req
715. Raah!Copy !req
716. Hee.Copy !req
717. You ready to die?Copy !req
718. Not really!Copy !req
719. I mean, kind of hopingCopy !req
720. I could stick around
for the sequel?Copy !req
721. Huh?
Huh?Copy !req
722. Mm!Copy !req
723. All right!
We know what that sound is.Copy !req
724. It's the end of the half.Copy !req
725. Ah, that sucks.Copy !req
726. I wanted
to see her die.Copy !req
727. HalftimeCopy !req
728. with the Starving Games
cheerleaders,Copy !req
729. presented by Viagra.Copy !req
730. Eh, I like it, Siri,
but it's not—Copy !req
731. it's not popping.Copy !req
732. Don't worry, boo.
I got you.Copy !req
733. More filthy and
gratuitous T&A coming up.Copy !req
734. Kantmiss, what an
exciting first half.Copy !req
735. Tell us what you're
thinking right now.Copy !req
736. First off, I want to thank my
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.Copy !req
737. And, uh, I'm thinking
about winning, Stanley.Copy !req
738. I just want to win.Copy !req
739. Bob.Copy !req
740. Stanley, do you get
a sense that KantmissCopy !req
741. is aware of the frenzy
she's creating?Copy !req
742. I don't think so, Bob.Copy !req
743. She's electrifying.Copy !req
744. Cleaver's Electrifying
Halftime Highlights.Copy !req
745. Aah!Copy !req
746. Take a look at what's trending
right now on Twitter.Copy !req
747. Helen in District 7 tweets,
"Kantmiss gives me hope!"Copy !req
748. And Thomas
in District 11 writes,Copy !req
749. "Kantmiss rocks,
UR sooooo hot!"Copy !req
750. And Tyrone in the District
of Compton tweets,Copy !req
751. "Yo, that ho Kantmiss
is da bomb,Copy !req
752. she's mad blowin' up
in da hood, yo!"Copy !req
753. Smiley face emoticon.Copy !req
754. She is blowin' up,Copy !req
755. and I had
the chance to beCopy !req
756. on the ground in
Kantmiss' own district,Copy !req
757. where Kantmiss fever is
at an all-time high!Copy !req
758. I'm here in District 12,Copy !req
759. where everyone
is going nuts.Copy !req
760. It's the ultimate
underdog Cinderella story,Copy !req
761. and the po' folks here
is eating it up,Copy !req
762. buying up merchandise with any
and everything that has to doCopy !req
763. with Kantmiss
or the Starving Games.Copy !req
764. T-shirts, mugs,Copy !req
765. totes, kooziesCopy !req
766. and bobbleheads.Copy !req
767. Look at me.
I'm just like Kantmiss.Copy !req
768. Ohh!Copy !req
769. Mis cojones.Copy !req
770. Yes! Direct hit!Copy !req
771. I'm gonna
shoot him again.Copy !req
772. Ai! Cheese enchilada!Copy !req
773. Oh, that felt good.Copy !req
774. That was a close one.
Yeah.Copy !req
775. I almost got you.Copy !req
776. I know.
I was like, "Ohh."Copy !req
777. Take previous positions.Copy !req
778. Game on!Copy !req
779. Yay!Copy !req
780. You ready to die?Copy !req
781. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
782. You little turd!Copy !req
783. Hey!Copy !req
784. Hey!Copy !req
785. Aah!Copy !req
786. Rudy.Copy !req
787. Rudy.Copy !req
788. Sing me a lullaby.Copy !req
789. Okay.Copy !req
790. Not you!Copy !req
791. Her!Copy !req
792. Am I gonna die?Copy !req
793. No. No, no, no.Copy !req
794. Of course
you're not gonna die.Copy !req
795. Worms? Isn't that
a little dramatic?Copy !req
796. Damn you, Taylor Swift.Copy !req
797. What an emotional and...Copy !req
798. moving death, Cleaver.Copy !req
799. It would bring
a tear to my eyeCopy !req
800. if my tear ducts
weren't lacerated.Copy !req
801. Ohh.
Ohh.Copy !req
802. I'm sorry.Copy !req
803. This is bullshit.Copy !req
804. The Capital can't just
treat us like pawns.Copy !req
805. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
806. Our life is our own,Copy !req
807. and they can't just
make us kill each otherCopy !req
808. for their own
sick amusement!Copy !req
809. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
810. What do you say?Copy !req
811. Let's riotCopy !req
812. and overthrow this
totalitarian governmentCopy !req
813. once and for all!Copy !req
814. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
815. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
816. We take a half-pound
of grade-A beef...Copy !req
817. and top it with cheese.Copy !req
818. Then we top it with chili...Copy !req
819. and a hot dog and ribsCopy !req
820. and smother it with
low-cal ranch dressing.Copy !req
821. Then we top it with a slice
of pepperoni pizza,Copy !req
822. with a sesame-seed bun.Copy !req
823. Mmm, mmm.Copy !req
824. Hey, uh...Copy !req
825. are we still
gonna riot?Copy !req
826. Maybe later.Copy !req
827. I'm too hungry now.Copy !req
828. Then we add
barbeque sauce...Copy !req
829. tomato, onion and lettuce.Copy !req
830. Then we add pork rinds,Copy !req
831. Funyuns, broccoli,
nacho cheese,Copy !req
832. Spam and wings...Copy !req
833. and ham hocks, chitlins.Copy !req
834. Don't forget
the watermelon wedge.Copy !req
835. Top it all off with two scoops
of pistachio ice cream,Copy !req
836. and finish it with
another sesame-seed bun.Copy !req
837. The 600,000 calorie
triple bypass burger.Copy !req
838. Starbucks?Copy !req
839. Got a free latte for it.Copy !req
840. Kantmiss fever is causing
a serious problem.Copy !req
841. We almost
had a riot.Copy !req
842. What should we do?Copy !req
843. Give them more.Copy !req
844. I don't understand.Copy !req
845. The Starving Games
is a hit.Copy !req
846. Just look at the trades.Copy !req
847. We could finally
win an Emmy.Copy !req
848. But the show's missing
one important thing.Copy !req
849. What does
every successful show needCopy !req
850. to bring it
to the next level?Copy !req
851. I know exactly
what you mean.Copy !req
852. A love story!
A lesbian love story!Copy !req
853. Wait.
Lesbian love story?Copy !req
854. Who doesn't like to see
two chicks get it on?Copy !req
855. I know I do, big time.Copy !req
856. But there aren't
any other womenCopy !req
857. left alive
in the Games.Copy !req
858. Fine.Copy !req
859. Do your normal
straight love story.Copy !req
860. Bor-ing.Copy !req
861. Oh, and, Seleca...Copy !req
862. throw in a surprise twist
at the end,Copy !req
863. like she dies or something.Copy !req
864. I like that.Copy !req
865. Attention, contestants.Copy !req
866. Attention, contestants.Copy !req
867. Attention, contestants.Copy !req
868. We have a rule change.Copy !req
869. There can now be two winners
of the Starving Games.Copy !req
870. Great.
So Marco and PeterCopy !req
871. can team up
to kill me.Copy !req
872. Uh, specifically two people
of different genders.Copy !req
873. Oh.Copy !req
874. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
875. So I hook up
with Marco,Copy !req
876. and we kill
Peter together.Copy !req
877. Yes!Copy !req
878. Yeah. I like that.Copy !req
879. No, we were thinking more like
you could team up with Peter.Copy !req
880. No!
No!Copy !req
881. No!
No!Copy !req
882. No, no, I, um—Copy !req
883. I like the whole
Marco idea better.Copy !req
884. Hey, Kantmiss,
do me a favor here,Copy !req
885. and hook up with Peter.
Please.Copy !req
886. I could lose
my job for this.Copy !req
887. And that's
my problem how?Copy !req
888. Oh, hey.Copy !req
889. Heh heh. Hey, guys.
What's going on?Copy !req
890. Nah, don't worry.Copy !req
891. I got it under control.
I swear.Copy !req
892. W-What are you—
What are you doing?Copy !req
893. Um...Copy !req
894. Ohh!Copy !req
895. I thought
we were friends.Copy !req
896. Ah, thanks.Copy !req
897. But I got us backstage
passes to Justin Bieber.Copy !req
898. Oh, my God.Copy !req
899. No. No, no,
don't you do it!Copy !req
900. Right.Copy !req
901. Um, I'm just gonna go team up
with Peter now, so...Copy !req
902. Hmm.Copy !req
903. Peter, are you here?Copy !req
904. I'm camouflaged.Copy !req
905. Where are you?Copy !req
906. I'm over here.Copy !req
907. I don't see you.Copy !req
908. I used my skills
as a bakerCopy !req
909. to seamlessly blend in
to my surroundings.Copy !req
910. Okay, well,
can you give me a hint?Copy !req
911. I'm in the cake.Copy !req
912. Oh.Copy !req
913. You're injured.Copy !req
914. Marco found out that I
really wasn't into himCopy !req
915. and that I ultimately
was protecting you.Copy !req
916. And he did this to you?Copy !req
917. No.Copy !req
918. I just got
my back waxed.Copy !req
919. Aah!Copy !req
920. Oh, that—
that looks bad.Copy !req
921. I mean, it's...Copy !req
922. Oh.
Aah!Copy !req
923. Oh, it's really oozy.
Ow. Okay.Copy !req
924. Well,
stop poking it!Copy !req
925. Okay, well, we should
take care of youCopy !req
926. before the infection
starts to take over.Copy !req
927. Come on.Copy !req
928. Ooh.Copy !req
929. Aah!Copy !req
930. Sorry.Copy !req
931. Stop poking it, please.Copy !req
932. Okay.Copy !req
933. Ah, they're
cute togetherCopy !req
934. Yeah, well, I still
want them to die.Copy !req
935. Yeah. Duh!Copy !req
936. Okay.Copy !req
937. Marco won't find us
in here. Come on.Copy !req
938. I hope
they get naked.Copy !req
939. Come on!Copy !req
940. Oh.Copy !req
941. Night's falling.
It's gonna get freezing.Copy !req
942. You've got a fever.Copy !req
943. Here.
I'll check my bagCopy !req
944. for something
for warmth.Copy !req
945. Thanks, Kantmiss.Copy !req
946. A Snuggie!Copy !req
947. Ah. Mmm.Copy !req
948. So warm and comfy.Copy !req
949. What? Huh?Copy !req
950. You know...Copy !req
951. I've had a crush on you
for the longest time.Copy !req
952. I used to follow you home
from school every day.Copy !req
953. Every day.Copy !req
954. And I remember
when you gotCopy !req
955. your first dress-up dolly
on your eighth birthday.Copy !req
956. And when you turned 12Copy !req
957. and got your first period.Copy !req
958. I watched you shower
every night,Copy !req
959. and after you got out,Copy !req
960. I would pick through the
drain and collect your hair.Copy !req
961. What?Copy !req
962. You made
a hair doll of me?Copy !req
963. Not just one.Copy !req
964. Ohh.Copy !req
965. That's you and me,Copy !req
966. and those are our six kids.Copy !req
967. And who's that?Copy !req
968. That's our puppy, Alphie.Copy !req
969. Woof woof!Copy !req
970. Woof!
Eww.Copy !req
971. She's the runt
of the litter,Copy !req
972. but we love her
all the same.Copy !req
973. Ohh.Copy !req
974. Ah, you got
a hairy chick, dude.Copy !req
975. I'm so hungry.Copy !req
976. Poor baby.Copy !req
977. Soup!
What?Copy !req
978. That'll definitely
make you feel better.Copy !req
979. Hmm?Copy !req
980. What?Copy !req
981. I—I think that they want
us to be more romantic,Copy !req
982. and, in return, they'll send
us stuff to make you better.Copy !req
983. Sounds good to me.Copy !req
984. Sorry, Dale.Copy !req
985. What?Copy !req
986. Really?Copy !req
987. Ooh.
Oh, come on.Copy !req
988. Hey, who thinks
they're gonna do it?Copy !req
989. We do!
We do!Copy !req
990. Screw you all!Copy !req
991. What is it now?Copy !req
992. All right!Copy !req
993. Peter, I don't know
if I can do this.Copy !req
994. Oh, my back.Copy !req
995. I'm dying.Copy !req
996. I don't know how much
longer I can hang on.Copy !req
997. All right. Let's...Copy !req
998. give them
what they want.Copy !req
999. Fantastic.Copy !req
1000. True dat.Copy !req
1001. Ow. Ow!Copy !req
1002. Can you not grab
my butt so hard?Copy !req
1003. I'm not touching
your butt at all.Copy !req
1004. Ohh!Copy !req
1005. Do not be afraid.Copy !req
1006. I am but
a kindly old wizard.Copy !req
1007. Get your hand
off my ass!Copy !req
1008. Right. Well...Copy !req
1009. let me explain.Copy !req
1010. You see,
we were traveling.Copy !req
1011. We were on—Copy !req
1012. We were on our wayCopy !req
1013. to the Misty—Copy !req
1014. the Misty
Mountains, yes.Copy !req
1015. And then
we heard a moanCopy !req
1016. coming from
inside this cave,Copy !req
1017. and fearing it to be
a moan of distressCopy !req
1018. and being the good
Samaritans that we are,Copy !req
1019. we came in here
to help you.Copy !req
1020. Get out!Copy !req
1021. Yes. Well. Okay.Copy !req
1022. I bid you adieu.Copy !req
1023. Ooh.
Ooh.Copy !req
1024. Whoa!Copy !req
1025. Yeah, love it!
I love it! Yeah!Copy !req
1026. Not her first trip
to the rodeo, eh?Copy !req
1027. Oh, yeah! Oh, Kantmiss!Copy !req
1028. Yeah! Oh!Copy !req
1029. Wow!
Whoa.Copy !req
1030. Ohh!
Ohh!Copy !req
1031. Oh, Peter, yes!Copy !req
1032. Score!Copy !req
1033. Even I don't get
to do that!Copy !req
1034. Oh, give me your hand.
Oh, God.Copy !req
1035. Yes!Copy !req
1036. Ride the donkey. Yes!Copy !req
1037. Ohh! Ohh!Copy !req
1038. And it's
even better in 3-D.Copy !req
1039. Ooh.
Ooh.Copy !req
1040. Ooh.
Ooh.Copy !req
1041. Thanks again
for last night.Copy !req
1042. Now that you're better,Copy !req
1043. we have to go out there.Copy !req
1044. We have to kill Marco so we can
both win the game and go home.Copy !req
1045. I—I would, but...Copy !req
1046. I think the infection's
starting to come back.Copy !req
1047. Don't push it!Copy !req
1048. Where do you think
you're going?Copy !req
1049. You can't go in there!Copy !req
1050. Whoa! Did you—Ha!Copy !req
1051. He's right there.Copy !req
1052. When are they gonna
kill each other already?Copy !req
1053. I'm getting bored.
Me, too.Copy !req
1054. Aah!Copy !req
1055. It's time to end this
once and for all.Copy !req
1056. Siri.Copy !req
1057. Dang!
What you need now?Copy !req
1058. Let's have a grand finale.Copy !req
1059. Send in the big guns.Copy !req
1060. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1061. I'll give you a war
you wouldn't believe.Copy !req
1062. Hasta la vista, baby.Copy !req
1063. Yippie-ki-yay—Copy !req
1064. Oh.Copy !req
1065. Damn it. I don't
have a catchphrase.Copy !req
1066. Ha ha ha!
I have so many of them.Copy !req
1067. I'll be back.Copy !req
1068. You know what
I mean, Chuck?Copy !req
1069. No.Copy !req
1070. Because I'm
Chuck Norris,Copy !req
1071. and catchphrases
need me!Copy !req
1072. Enh.Copy !req
1073. Why don't you shut up,Copy !req
1074. you smarty-pants wisenheimer
piece of shit?Copy !req
1075. Let's just kill 'em.Copy !req
1076. Oh.Copy !req
1077. Ready!Copy !req
1078. Aim.Copy !req
1079. Yes!Copy !req
1080. Yo, Adrian!Copy !req
1081. Fire!Copy !req
1082. Gah!Copy !req
1083. Dale?Copy !req
1084. Dale?Copy !req
1085. What's going on
with you and this guy?Copy !req
1086. I'll talk to you
about it later.Copy !req
1087. I saw you kiss him.Copy !req
1088. I am in the middle
of a death match.Copy !req
1089. Do you like him?Copy !req
1090. Dale, you are
embarrassing me.Copy !req
1091. Go home.
Nyah.Copy !req
1092. No! If anyone
should leave...Copy !req
1093. he should.Copy !req
1094. Okay. Yeah.
I-I'll leave.Copy !req
1095. Now, Dale!
Fine.Copy !req
1096. Fine!Copy !req
1097. But I'm changing my
Facebook status to single.Copy !req
1098. Sorry about that.Copy !req
1099. He's always
been really clingy.Copy !req
1100. That's cool.Copy !req
1101. Unbelievable.Copy !req
1102. What are you
gonna do, Kantmiss?Copy !req
1103. You shoot and miss,
lover boy here is dead.Copy !req
1104. Yes!Copy !req
1105. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
1106. Huh?
Huh?Copy !req
1107. Yeah.Copy !req
1108. Yeah.Copy !req
1109. Oh!
Oh!Copy !req
1110. That'll work.Copy !req
1111. How about that, Cleaver?Copy !req
1112. Against all odds,
they've done it. They've won.Copy !req
1113. Yay.Copy !req
1114. Whew!Copy !req
1115. Peter, we won.Copy !req
1116. We survived!Copy !req
1117. We're both going home.Copy !req
1118. Attention, contestants.Copy !req
1119. There has been
yet another rule change.Copy !req
1120. And if you're thinking
what I'm thinking,Copy !req
1121. you're right.Copy !req
1122. There again
can be only one winner.Copy !req
1123. Good luck.Copy !req
1124. What if we don't give
'em the satisfaction?Copy !req
1125. What if we
both kill ourselvesCopy !req
1126. and there
are no victors?Copy !req
1127. We'll ruin the Games,Copy !req
1128. and we'll show
th-that the Capital,Copy !req
1129. they can't control us!Copy !req
1130. I found these poisonous
berries in the woods.Copy !req
1131. W-We can eat them
a-and die.Copy !req
1132. Shit ain't personal,Copy !req
1133. strictly business,
ya dig?Copy !req
1134. Whaah! Whoa!Copy !req
1135. Fuck me!Copy !req
1136. Best Starving Games ever!Copy !req
1137. It's a nice shot,
Kantmiss.Copy !req
1138. What're you
doing here?Copy !req
1139. I practically show upCopy !req
1140. at the end
of every movie.Copy !req
1141. Superhero movies,
yeah, but—Copy !req
1142. Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.Copy !req
1143. We could use
some fresh, young blood.Copy !req
1144. I mean, shit!Copy !req
1145. Just how many sequels
to "Iron Man,"Copy !req
1146. "Thor" and "Captain America"
can we make, right?Copy !req
1147. And you're pretty handy
with that bow and arrow.Copy !req
1148. Ahem!Copy !req
1149. Uh, Nick, the, uh,Copy !req
1150. bow and arrow
is sort of my thing.Copy !req
1151. Shut your ass, Hawkeye!Copy !req
1152. You're lucky you
even in the Avengers!Copy !req
1153. Yeah, but—
And don't you thinkCopy !req
1154. for one goddamn minuteCopy !req
1155. that Marvel is gonna
spin off your character!Copy !req
1156. "Hawkeye, colon,Copy !req
1157. The Avenger Nobody
Gives a Shit About,"Copy !req
1158. will definitely not be coming
soon to a theater near you!Copy !req
1159. Burn!Copy !req
1160. Burn.Copy !req
1161. Ow.Copy !req
1162. Oh, stop being
such a cherry!Copy !req
1163. So what do you say,
Kantmiss?Copy !req
1164. I'm in.Copy !req
1165. But, um,
I'm kind of hungry.Copy !req
1166. Do you mind if we get
something to eat first?Copy !req
1167. Let's go get
some shawarma.Copy !req
1168. Avengers assemble!Copy !req
1169. Wait, don't step
off those—Copy !req
1170. Oops.Copy !req
1171. Oh! You know
what that sound means?Copy !req
1172. Bob's Post-Game Bloopers.Copy !req
1173. Aah!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
1174. Good.Copy !req
1175. Blooper reel.Copy !req
1176. Ohh.Copy !req
1177. Sorry.Copy !req
1178. Blooper reel!Copy !req
1179. Cutting!
Yeah!Copy !req
1180. Oh.Copy !req
1181. And the wig is down.Copy !req
1182. Okay. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1183. I gotta get
more excited about you.Copy !req
1184. Let's do it.Copy !req
1185. Touch my leg.Copy !req
1186. Here we go.Copy !req
1187. Dude, stop.Copy !req
1188. Prank, take one.Copy !req
1189. Ohh!Copy !req
1190. Look at you!Copy !req
1191. Dale, that's
romantic and all.Copy !req
1192. Yes, why don't you
give me a little dance?Copy !req
1193. On the down, not the up.Copy !req
1194. That's good.
Now like a penguin.Copy !req
1195. That's the worst penguin I've ever seen.
Do it again.Copy !req
1196. Do you like
watching Pygmies?Copy !req
1197. Oh, yeah. Oh.
That looks good.Copy !req
1198. Look at that dripping.Copy !req
1199. I just got
my back waxed.Copy !req
1200. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1201. Kick.
Hah!Copy !req
1202. Sorry.Copy !req
1203. I kicked your ass.Copy !req
1204. No, that's fine.
Don't...Copy !req
1205. And this
is my sidekick.Copy !req
1206. Mother pus.
What'd I say?Copy !req
1207. With me.Copy !req
1208. And this is...Copy !req
1209. Shh.
my sidekick.Copy !req
1210. And this is my sidekick.Copy !req
1211. Yeah. That's funny.
You got one line.Copy !req
1212. You do.Copy !req
1213. Ready?Copy !req
1214. And I have
another Tess Tickles.Copy !req
1215. I need to see a bi—Copy !req
1216. No, it's not,
"I need to see."Copy !req
1217. Stop hiding, and show me—Copy !req
1218. God damn it.Copy !req
1219. I need a pair
of Tess Tickles!Copy !req
1220. Shit.Copy !req
1221. For bug zapper.Copy !req
1222. Contact.Copy !req
1223. Contact.
Contact. Contact.Copy !req
1224. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1225. Hold on.Copy !req
1226. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1227. A partially
eaten pickle.Copy !req
1228. So happy Starving Games,Copy !req
1229. and may the odds
be never in your favor.Copy !req
1230. That is the worst pickle
I've ever had.Copy !req
1231. We have to kill Marco
and win the games.Copy !req
1232. Sorry. Ahh. Sorry.Copy !req
1233. We have to kill Marco
so we can both go homeCopy !req
1234. and win the ga—
God damn it. Sorry.Copy !req
1235. Wow, that's amazing.Copy !req
1236. That is good.
What is that?Copy !req
1237. It's a divine mixtureCopy !req
1238. of fox blood
and bear.Copy !req
1239. Delicious. Right?Copy !req
1240. Hey!Copy !req
1241. Hey, Phil, stay down thereCopy !req
1242. and put your finger
in his mouth.Copy !req
1243. Okay. We're done.Copy !req
1244. We're done with this.Copy !req
1245. Blooper reel.Copy !req
1246. Blooper reel.Copy !req
1247. Cutting!Copy !req