1. We come in peace
for cats and mice everywhere.Copy !req
2. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming out.Copy !req
3. Itchy... Itchy...Copy !req
4. Boring!Copy !req
5. Dad, we can't see the movie.Copy !req
6. I can't believe we're paying to see
something we get on TV for free.Copy !req
7. If you ask me, everybody in this theater
is a giant sucker.Copy !req
8. Especially you.Copy !req
9. Especially you.Copy !req
10. Movie on the big screen!Copy !req
11. Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.Copy !req
12. All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.Copy !req
13. We've been playing
for three and a half hours.Copy !req
14. Now we'd like just a minute of your time
to say something about the environment.Copy !req
15. - You suck!
- Shut up and play!Copy !req
16. - Preachy!
- We're not being preachy.Copy !req
17. But the pollution in your lake,
it's dissolving our barge.Copy !req
18. I thought they touched on
a vital issue.Copy !req
19. I beg to differ.Copy !req
20. Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.Copy !req
21. For the latest rock band
to die in our town...Copy !req
22. Lord, hear our prayer.Copy !req
23. Lord, hear our prayer.Copy !req
24. I hate being late.Copy !req
25. Well, I hate going.Copy !req
26. Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way...Copy !req
27. by praying like hell on my deathbed?Copy !req
28. Homer, they can hear you inside.Copy !req
29. Relax. Those pious morons are too busy
talking to their phony-baloney God.Copy !req
30. How you doing? Peace be with you.
Praise Jebus.Copy !req
31. Today I'd like to try something
a little different.Copy !req
32. I'm going to call on one of you!Copy !req
33. Now, the word of God
dwells within everyone.Copy !req
34. I want you to let that word out.
Let your spirit...Copy !req
35. What is it, Ned?Copy !req
36. The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.Copy !req
37. Gay, gay, gay.Copy !req
38. An immodest sense of pride
in our community.Copy !req
39. Somebody else?Copy !req
40. Let the Lord's light shine upon you.Copy !req
41. Feel the spirit.Copy !req
42. Let it out!Copy !req
43. Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!Copy !req
44. And they're gonna happen to you!
And you! And you! And you.Copy !req
45. Whoa, nelly!Copy !req
46. People of Springfield,
heed this warning:Copy !req
47. Twisted tail!Copy !req
48. A thousand eyes!Copy !req
49. Trapped forever!Copy !req
50. Dad, do something!Copy !req
51. This book doesn't have any answers!Copy !req
52. Beware! Beware! Time is short!Copy !req
53. Believe me! Believe me!Copy !req
54. Thanks for listening.Copy !req
55. Okay, who wants waffles?Copy !req
56. I do, I do, I do!Copy !req
57. Wait a minute. What about Grampa?Copy !req
58. - I want syrup!
- I want strawberries!Copy !req
59. Something happened to that man.Copy !req
60. I'll tell you what happened to him.
A certain someone had a senior moment.Copy !req
61. But that's okay, because we love him
and we got a free rug out of it.Copy !req
62. What is the point of going to church
every Sunday...Copy !req
63. when if someone we love has a genuine
religious experience, we ignore it?Copy !req
64. Right, Grampa?Copy !req
65. I want bananas on my waffles.Copy !req
66. I rest my case.Copy !req
67. I'm not dropping this.Copy !req
68. Wait a minute. I'm still in the car.Copy !req
69. Oh, right.Copy !req
70. "Take out hornets' nest."Copy !req
71. Check. "Fix sinkhole."Copy !req
72. Check.Copy !req
73. "Re-shingle roof"?Copy !req
74. Steady.Copy !req
75. Steady.Copy !req
76. Why, you little...!Copy !req
77. I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!Copy !req
78. You know, we are on the roof.
We could have some fun.Copy !req
79. What kind of fun?Copy !req
80. How about a dare contest?Copy !req
81. That sounds fun. I dare you to...Copy !req
82. climb the TV antenna!Copy !req
83. - Piece of cake.
- Earthquake!Copy !req
84. Aftershock!Copy !req
85. Homer, I don't mean
to be a Nervous Pervis...Copy !req
86. but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a paraplege-arino?Copy !req
87. Shut up, Flanders.Copy !req
88. - Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
- Well said, boy.Copy !req
89. Steady. Steady.Copy !req
90. Steady...Copy !req
91. Hello. Sorry to bother you
on a Sunday...Copy !req
92. but I'm sure you're as worried about
the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am.Copy !req
93. Lake Springfield has higher levels
of mercury than ev...Copy !req
94. Why, it's the little girl
who saved my cat.Copy !req
95. Lake Springfield is...Copy !req
96. Come on over, Lisa.Copy !req
97. You can canvass me
as long as you want.Copy !req
98. Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.Copy !req
99. Hey. I am very passionate
about the planet.Copy !req
100. Say global warming is a myth.Copy !req
101. It's a myth! Further study is needed!Copy !req
102. That's for selling out your beliefs.Copy !req
103. Oh, poor Milhouse.Copy !req
104. Dream coming true.Copy !req
105. Are you aware that a leaky faucet
can waste over...?Copy !req
106. Two thousand gallons a year.Copy !req
107. - Turning off lights can save...
- Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.Copy !req
108. And if we kept our thermostats
at 68 in winter...Copy !req
109. We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years.Copy !req
110. I'm Colin.Copy !req
111. I haven't seen you at school.Copy !req
112. Moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.Copy !req
113. - Is he...?
- He's not Bono.Copy !req
114. - I just thought, because you're Irish and...
- He's not Bono.Copy !req
115. Do you play?Copy !req
116. Just piano, guitar, trumpet,
drums and bass.Copy !req
117. He's pure gold.
For once in your life, be cool.Copy !req
118. So is your name as pretty
as your face?Copy !req
119. You okay there?Copy !req
120. Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever!Copy !req
121. What could that be?Copy !req
122. I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made...Copy !req
123. when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.Copy !req
124. Yeah. Thanks for coming over.Copy !req
125. Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.Copy !req
126. Never known comfort like this.Copy !req
127. Why did I suggest this?Copy !req
128. All right, boy,
time for the ultimate dare.Copy !req
129. I dare you to skateboard
to Krusty Burger and back...Copy !req
130. naked.Copy !req
131. - How naked?
- Fourth base.Copy !req
132. Girls might see my doodle.Copy !req
133. Oh, I see. Then I hereby
declare you chicken for life.Copy !req
134. Every morning, you'll wake up to
"Good morning, chicken."Copy !req
135. At your wedding, I'll sing:Copy !req
136. I like men now.Copy !req
137. Don't look where I'm pointing!Copy !req
138. Stop in the name of
American squeamishness!Copy !req
139. Boys, before we eat, don't forget
to thank the Lord for this bountiful...Copy !req
140. Penis?Copy !req
141. - Bountiful penis.
- Bountiful penis.Copy !req
142. Amen.Copy !req
143. Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes
in public, but, you know, it's the law.Copy !req
144. Lunchtime!Copy !req
145. You can't just leave me out here.Copy !req
146. Don't worry, we found
a friend for you to play with.Copy !req
147. Nelson, honey, where have you been?Copy !req
148. - Dad!
- What seems to be the problem, officers?Copy !req
149. Tell him you dared me to do it.Copy !req
150. If that's true, then you should be
taking the rap here, not your son.Copy !req
151. And what happens to me
if it's my fault?Copy !req
152. You'll have to attend
a one-hour parenting class.Copy !req
153. It was all his idea!
He's out of control, I tell you!Copy !req
154. I'm at my wits' end.Copy !req
155. It's so...Copy !req
156. See you in court, kid.Copy !req
157. Okay, son, let's get some lunch.Copy !req
158. Did you at least bring my clothes?Copy !req
159. Shirt, socks, everything you need.Copy !req
160. - You didn't bring my pants.
- Who am I, Tommy Bahama?Copy !req
161. This is the worst day of my life.Copy !req
162. The worst day of your life so far.Copy !req
163. - Say, Bart?
- What do you want, Flanders?Copy !req
164. If you need pants,
I carry an extra pair.Copy !req
165. You know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.Copy !req
166. Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.Copy !req
167. We're neighbors. I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.Copy !req
168. Thank you.Copy !req
169. - Hey, what's with you?
- You really wanna know?Copy !req
170. Of course I do.Copy !req
171. What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...?Copy !req
172. A pig wearing a hat!Copy !req
173. Action.Copy !req
174. Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger.Copy !req
175. If you can find a greasier sandwich,
you're in Mexico!Copy !req
176. And we're clear.Copy !req
177. Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.Copy !req
178. What...? You can't kill him
if he's wearing people clothes!Copy !req
179. You're coming home with me.Copy !req
180. "A thousand eyes."
What could that be?Copy !req
181. I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.Copy !req
182. Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?Copy !req
183. Actually, it's aged me horribly.Copy !req
184. Then say hello
to the newest Simpson.Copy !req
185. Homer!Copy !req
186. I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.Copy !req
187. Please, get rid of that pig.Copy !req
188. Oh, you're gonna love him.
Look, he does an impression of you.Copy !req
189. You nailed her.Copy !req
190. He also does me.Copy !req
191. You smiled. I'm off the hook.Copy !req
192. Oh, you have so many looks.Copy !req
193. So that's what snug is.Copy !req
194. Who's a good pig?Copy !req
195. Who's a good pig?Copy !req
196. Rough day, huh, son?Copy !req
197. You don't know what rough is, sister.Copy !req
198. Bart, you know, whenever my boys
bake up a batch of frownies...Copy !req
199. I take them fishing.Copy !req
200. Does your dad ever take you fishing?Copy !req
201. Dad, it's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.Copy !req
202. If you love fish like I do,
you want them to die with dignity.Copy !req
203. I think I have a nibble.Copy !req
204. I think fishing might be
more fun with you.Copy !req
205. Oh, great. Now, how about
I fix you some cocoa?Copy !req
206. No way. Cocoa's for wusses.Copy !req
207. Well, sir, if you change your mind,
it's on the windowsill.Copy !req
208. Oh, my God.Copy !req
209. Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the best part.
He loves the environment.Copy !req
210. Oh, wait! I still didn't tell you
the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.Copy !req
211. No, no, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part.Copy !req
212. He's not imaginary!Copy !req
213. Oh, honey, that's great.Copy !req
214. But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.Copy !req
215. Because nothing means more
than for a man to...Copy !req
216. How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?Copy !req
217. Spider-Pig, Spider-PigCopy !req
218. Does whatever a Spider-Pig doesCopy !req
219. Can he swing from a web?Copy !req
220. No, he can't, he's a pigCopy !req
221. Look out
He is the Spider-PigCopy !req
222. Are we having fun yet?Copy !req
223. We are now. You've got a bite.Copy !req
224. Whoa, mama!Copy !req
225. Oh, no, my good pole!Copy !req
226. You're not strangling me.Copy !req
227. What the...?
Strangling's only good for...Copy !req
228. Well, it's not good for anything.Copy !req
229. The only time you should
lay hands on a boy...Copy !req
230. is to give him
a good pat on the back.Copy !req
231. Hey, what the hell are you...?Copy !req
232. One more time.Copy !req
233. Honey, I'm home.Copy !req
234. We are at the tipping point, people.Copy !req
235. If we don't do something now...Copy !req
236. I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Isn't he dreamy?Copy !req
237. Agreed.Copy !req
238. Okay, so here's the bottom line:Copy !req
239. If we don't change our ways
right now...Copy !req
240. pollution in Lake Springfield
will be at this level.Copy !req
241. That's not so bad.Copy !req
242. No, the lift is stuck.Copy !req
243. Am I getting through to anyone?Copy !req
244. Hell, yeah.
We need a new one of those things.Copy !req
245. All in favor of a new scissor lift,
say "aye."Copy !req
246. - Aye.
- No!Copy !req
247. This lake is just one piece of trash
away from a toxic nightmare.Copy !req
248. But I knew you wouldn't listen.Copy !req
249. So I took the liberty of pouring water
from the lake in all your drinking glasses.Copy !req
250. This is why we should hate kids.Copy !req
251. This is serious, people.Copy !req
252. No more dumping in the lake.
I hereby declare a state of emergency.Copy !req
253. Code black.Copy !req
254. Black? That's the worst color there is.Copy !req
255. - No offense there, Carl.
- I get it all the time.Copy !req
256. Sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.Copy !req
257. Fine. I will put my yard trimmings
in a car compactor.Copy !req
258. Chief, I think there was
a dead body in there.Copy !req
259. I thought that too,
until he said "yard trimmings."Copy !req
260. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.Copy !req
261. Let us now make sure
this barrier is completely idiot-proof.Copy !req
262. - Cletus.
- Yessum?Copy !req
263. Try to dump something in the lake.Copy !req
264. Okay.Copy !req
265. I can't. I simply can't.Copy !req
266. - Brilliant.
- Very effective.Copy !req
267. Don't get any ideas.Copy !req
268. Maybe we should kiss,
just to break the tension.Copy !req
269. What's going on here?Copy !req
270. Nothing. Nothing.Copy !req
271. I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.Copy !req
272. And by the way,
what are you doing with his leavings?Copy !req
273. Don't worry.
I've devised a most elegant solution.Copy !req
274. It's leaking.Copy !req
275. It's not leaking, it's overflowing.Copy !req
276. He filled up the whole silo
in just two days?Copy !req
277. Well, I helped.Copy !req
278. Homer, stop! Stop. I know it's easy
for your mind to wander...Copy !req
279. but I want you to
really concentrate on me.Copy !req
280. I can't escape the feeling that this
is the crisis Grampa warned us about.Copy !req
281. You have to dispose
of that waste properly.Copy !req
282. Okay, Marge. I will.Copy !req
283. You can take Spider-Pig with you.Copy !req
284. He's not Spider-Pig anymore,
he's Harry Plopper.Copy !req
285. Hello.Copy !req
286. Homer, you gotta get over here.Copy !req
287. Health inspector shut down the doughnut
store, they're giving out free doughnuts!Copy !req
288. Oh, my God, oh, my God!
I just got one thing I gotta do first.Copy !req
289. Well, you better hurry.
They're going fast.Copy !req
290. Whoa, that was close.Copy !req
291. Evil!Copy !req
292. Drive, drive, drive!Copy !req
293. Oh, right.Copy !req
294. Look at that. You can see
the four states that border Springfield:Copy !req
295. Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.Copy !req
296. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
297. And if you look real close,
you can almost...Copy !req
298. Well, this certainly seems odd...Copy !req
299. but who am I to question
the work of the Almighty?Copy !req
300. We thank you, Lord,
for this mighty fine intelligent design.Copy !req
301. Good job.Copy !req
302. Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!Copy !req
303. Hey! Jab one more eye
and it's a federal crime.Copy !req
304. - Who are you?
- Environmental Protection Agency.Copy !req
305. Russ Cargill, head of the EPA,
here to see the president.Copy !req
306. Mr. President.Copy !req
307. Ja, that is me.Copy !req
308. Pollution in Springfield
has reached crisis levels.Copy !req
309. I hate this job. Everything's "crisis" this
and "end of the world" that.Copy !req
310. Nobody opens with a joke.
I miss Danny De Vito.Copy !req
311. You want a joke, huh?
Stop me if you've heard this one.Copy !req
312. Look at those angry eyes
and giant teeth.Copy !req
313. It's like Christmas
at the Kennedy compound.Copy !req
314. You know, sir, when you
made me head of the EPA...Copy !req
315. you appointed one of
the most successful men in America...Copy !req
316. to the least successful agency
in government.Copy !req
317. And why did I take the job?Copy !req
318. Because I'm a rich man
who wanted to give something back.Copy !req
319. Not the money, but something.Copy !req
320. So here is our chance to
kick some ass for Mother Earth.Copy !req
321. - I'm listening.
- Well, I've narrowed your choices down...Copy !req
322. to five unthinkable options.Copy !req
323. Each will cause untold misery...Copy !req
324. I pick number three.Copy !req
325. You don't wanna read them first?Copy !req
326. I was elected to lead, not to read.
Number three!Copy !req
327. We're being sealed in a dome!Copy !req
328. What do I do?
I don't know what to do!Copy !req
329. If I stay, I'm trapped.
If I leave, I'm alone.Copy !req
330. Oh, God. In, out, in, out!Copy !req
331. I never saw Venice.Copy !req
332. "Trapped forever."Copy !req
333. It's all come true.Copy !req
334. That crazy old man in church
was right.Copy !req
335. Dome!Copy !req
336. All right, men, open fire.Copy !req
337. Who's hurt? Raise your hands.Copy !req
338. Without the attitude.Copy !req
339. People, people.
I have an important announcement.Copy !req
340. I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill...Copy !req
341. - which can cut through anything.
- Hey, that's cool.Copy !req
342. It's right there.Copy !req
343. Just outside of the dome.Copy !req
344. What ruthless madmen
could have done this to us?Copy !req
345. The United States government.Copy !req
346. My name is Russ Cargill
and I'm head of the EPA.Copy !req
347. The what?Copy !req
348. - Environmental Protection Agency.
- Come again?Copy !req
349. Look, I'm a man on a big TV.
Just listen.Copy !req
350. - Springfield has become...
- Springfield!Copy !req
351. The most polluted city
in the history of the planet.Copy !req
352. Drama queen!Copy !req
353. To keep your poisons
from spreading...Copy !req
354. your government has sealed you
in this dome.Copy !req
355. It's the last thing we wanted to do.Copy !req
356. I own the company that makes
the dome, but that's beside the point.Copy !req
357. You mean we're trapped like rats?Copy !req
358. No, rats can't be trapped this easily.
You're trapped like carrots.Copy !req
359. Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.
Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.Copy !req
360. Apparently someone
didn't get the message.Copy !req
361. Act natural.Copy !req
362. Hey, buddy, sooner or later,
people are gonna discover this.Copy !req
363. Don't worry about that. We found
a way to take you off the map.Copy !req
364. Coming up on your right:Copy !req
365. Nothing.Copy !req
366. This is Kent Brockman,
reporting to you on a crisis so serious...Copy !req
367. it has its own name
and theme music.Copy !req
368. The dome has put an end
to life as we know it.Copy !req
369. The town is running low on supplies of
everything from gasoline to Botox.Copy !req
370. Moment, please.Copy !req
371. Now, as always, we end our news
on "The Lighter Side."Copy !req
372. It's the time of year when
the swallows return to Springfield.Copy !req
373. I think the thing I miss most
is a simple summer breeze.Copy !req
374. Maggie?Copy !req
375. We've got dome wax, dome polish,
dome freshener, all your dome needs...Copy !req
376. at Dome Depot,
located at the 105 and the dome.Copy !req
377. Dome Depot!Copy !req
378. Maggie got out! Maggie got out!Copy !req
379. Maggie was right there,
just outside the dome.Copy !req
380. Marge, she's right here.Copy !req
381. This dome can play tricks on you.
You just have to keep calm and...Copy !req
382. Oh, my God.Copy !req
383. I'm out of the dome.
Fresh air! Freedom!Copy !req
384. I'll write you. Lead good lives!Copy !req
385. Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.Copy !req
386. Efforts to find out
whose selfish crime...Copy !req
387. caused our entrapment
have been fruitless.Copy !req
388. Until moments ago!Copy !req
389. A shocking discovery has been made
here at Lake Springfield.Copy !req
390. That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.Copy !req
391. Homer, it was you.Copy !req
392. You single-handedly killed this town.Copy !req
393. I know. It's weird.Copy !req
394. Just a reminder, this station does not
endorse vigilante justice.Copy !req
395. Unless it gets results. Which it will.Copy !req
396. You didn't listen to me
after I warned you.Copy !req
397. Don't worry,
nobody watches this stupid show.Copy !req
398. What's that ominous glow
in the distance?Copy !req
399. Kill! Kill! Kill!Copy !req
400. Marge, look. Those idiots
don't even know where we live.Copy !req
401. Kill! Kill! Kill!Copy !req
402. We want Homer! We want Homer!Copy !req
403. You monster. You monster!Copy !req
404. Did you see the news?Copy !req
405. Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.Copy !req
406. But I'm so angry.Copy !req
407. You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.Copy !req
408. Okay.Copy !req
409. Homer, you have to go out there,
face that mob...Copy !req
410. and apologize for what you did.Copy !req
411. I would, but I'm afraid if I open
the door, they'll take all of you.Copy !req
412. No, we won't. We just want Homer!Copy !req
413. Well, maybe not you,
but they'll kill Grampa.Copy !req
414. I'm part of the mob!Copy !req
415. Teeny! Take out the baby.Copy !req
416. Here, let me get that for you.Copy !req
417. Stay back. I got a chain saw.Copy !req
418. Bart!Copy !req
419. Crawl across. Hurry.Copy !req
420. But if they see you helping us,
they'll kill you.Copy !req
421. I'm sure your father would
do the same for...Copy !req
422. Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.Copy !req
423. Archers.Copy !req
424. I'm using a red arrow
so I know who I kill.Copy !req
425. No, Plopper.
If you push that, Daddy will die.Copy !req
426. Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.Copy !req
427. Wait! There's something I have to get.Copy !req
428. - What'd you get?
- Our wedding video.Copy !req
429. - We have a wedding video?
- Torch his gas tank!Copy !req
430. We lost them.Copy !req
431. Up here.Copy !req
432. Get them! Get them!Copy !req
433. Little help?Copy !req
434. You know, the word "apology"...Copy !req
435. is tossed around a lot these days,
but when it comes from in here...Copy !req
436. Mom, what are we gonna do?Copy !req
437. Maggie, not now.Copy !req
438. We'll play later.Copy !req
439. The sinkhole. Follow me, kids!Copy !req
440. - Geronimo!
- Sacajawea!Copy !req
441. So long, losers!Copy !req
442. The top of his head is still showing.
Claw at it!Copy !req
443. Well, they're China's problem now.Copy !req
444. Colin!Copy !req
445. I can't hear you!Copy !req
446. I never thought my life would have an
absolutely perfect moment, but this is...Copy !req
447. Lisa's got a boyfriend
that she'll never see again!Copy !req
448. Perfect.Copy !req
449. - What do we do?
- Now we run.Copy !req
450. I'm afraid we lost them, sir.Copy !req
451. Damn it!Copy !req
452. Well, then, you find them
and you get them back in the dome.Copy !req
453. And so nobody else gets out...Copy !req
454. I want roving death squads
around the perimeter 24/7.Copy !req
455. I want 10,000 tough guys...Copy !req
456. and I want 10,000 soft guys
to make the tough guys look tougher.Copy !req
457. And here's how I want them arranged:
Tough, tough, soft, tough...Copy !req
458. soft, soft, tough, tough,
soft, soft, tough, soft.Copy !req
459. Sir, I'm afraid you've
gone mad with power.Copy !req
460. Of course. Ever try going mad without
power? It's boring. No one listens to you.Copy !req
461. - Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
- I'm troubled.Copy !req
462. - Bart.
- I promise, I'll stop tomorrow.Copy !req
463. You'll stop right now.Copy !req
464. You come back here, little man.Copy !req
465. I miss Flanders. There, I said it!Copy !req
466. - Where's your father?
- He went out.Copy !req
467. Let's quickly rebuild our lives
while he's gone.Copy !req
468. Hey, guys?Copy !req
469. What's the secret knock, again?Copy !req
470. Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.Copy !req
471. It's huge! We're homeless!Copy !req
472. Our friends wanna kill us!Copy !req
473. Before we can even stay
in the same room with you...Copy !req
474. I need to know what was
going through your mind...Copy !req
475. when you didn't listen to me...Copy !req
476. and dumped that silo in the lake.Copy !req
477. Homer!Copy !req
478. I don't know what to tell you, Marge.
I don't think about things.Copy !req
479. I respect people who do...Copy !req
480. but I just try to make the days not hurt
until I get to crawl in next to you again.Copy !req
481. I mean, oh.Copy !req
482. Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry...Copy !req
483. I'm prepared with a solution.Copy !req
484. I've always been afraid I'd screw up our
lives so badly we'd need a backup plan.Copy !req
485. And that plan is right here!Copy !req
486. No.Copy !req
487. Nope.Copy !req
488. Bingo.Copy !req
489. Bear with me.Copy !req
490. Alaska?Copy !req
491. Alaska. A place where you can't be
too fat or too drunk.Copy !req
492. Where no one says things like:Copy !req
493. "Let's see your high school
equivalency certificate."Copy !req
494. I don't know, Homie.Copy !req
495. I'm not saying it right.Copy !req
496. Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.Copy !req
497. And I've really come to like you guys.Copy !req
498. I just don't see it.Copy !req
499. Marge, in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:Copy !req
500. "I need you to do this with me."Copy !req
501. And there's only one answer
when somebody says that.Copy !req
502. Okay, Homie, I'm with you.Copy !req
503. Thank you, my sweetheart.Copy !req
504. - Mom?
- Yes, honey?Copy !req
505. You just bought
another load of crap...Copy !req
506. from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.Copy !req
507. You'll pay for ruining
this golden family moment!Copy !req
508. Homer!Copy !req
509. How are we supposed to get to Alaska
without any money?Copy !req
510. All right, son. If you don't believe in me,
believe in America.Copy !req
511. America. Where any man can make
quick money with no questions asked.Copy !req
512. Step right up and win my truck!Copy !req
513. All you have to do is conquer
the Ball of Death.Copy !req
514. - What's the catch?
- No catch.Copy !req
515. Just ride the motorcycle
all the way around just one time.Copy !req
516. Three tries for $ 10.Copy !req
517. - Marge, how much money do we have?
- Ten dollars.Copy !req
518. That counts as a try.Copy !req
519. That's two.Copy !req
520. And that's three.Copy !req
521. Here's what I'll do,
because I like seeing you hurt yourself:Copy !req
522. I'll give you one on the house.Copy !req
523. - You're the best.
- Dad!Copy !req
524. When you get to the top,
don't slow down, speed up!Copy !req
525. - But that's when it's the scariest.
- Just do it!Copy !req
526. Yes!Copy !req
527. Yay, Dad!Copy !req
528. I'll take that truck now.Copy !req
529. Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.Copy !req
530. Next stop, Alaska!Copy !req
531. Day 37 under the dome.Copy !req
532. We are facing intermittent
power failures which...Copy !req
533. Okay, very funny.
I'm gonna turn the lights off again.Copy !req
534. When they come back on,
I want all my booze back the way it was.Copy !req
535. Yeah, okay. Okay.Copy !req
536. I'm very proud of you, Bart.
Over 24 hours sober.Copy !req
537. - You are, aren't you?
- I'll prove it.Copy !req
538. We're giving your father another chance,
and we owe it to him to...Copy !req
539. - Oh, my God.
- Can I help you?Copy !req
540. We need diapers.Copy !req
541. - Okay.
- No. No, we don't. We don't.Copy !req
542. - Ladies' razorblades.
- Right.Copy !req
543. No! No. No, we don't.
I forgot, we're European.Copy !req
544. Just give us beef jerky.Copy !req
545. Lots and lots of beef jerky.Copy !req
546. That's right. That's what we need.
That's all we came in for.Copy !req
547. Sure.Copy !req
548. Oh, my God. There they are!Copy !req
549. So you want some of my electricity,
do you?Copy !req
550. Well, for once,
the rich white man is in control.Copy !req
551. I have two buttons behind this desk.Copy !req
552. One will supply your town with power,
the other releases the hounds.Copy !req
553. Reach me. Make me your brother.Copy !req
554. The hospital's generator
is about to give out.Copy !req
555. Lives will be lost.Copy !req
556. "Lives lost." Go on.Copy !req
557. We got a convict we were gonna
fry tomorrow, but now we can't.Copy !req
558. Tempting. Tempting.Copy !req
559. Look, all our reasons mean nothing.Copy !req
560. Just look into your heart
and you'll find the answer.Copy !req
561. - First door on the right.
- Thank you.Copy !req
562. What...? This isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!Copy !req
563. Oh, that's better.Copy !req
564. Homer!Copy !req
565. Well, at least my poster
didn't get torn.Copy !req
566. Welcome to Alaska. Here's $ 1000.Copy !req
567. Well, it's about time! But why?Copy !req
568. We pay every resident $ 1000...Copy !req
569. to allow oil companies to ravage
our state's natural beauty.Copy !req
570. I'm home!Copy !req
571. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
572. What are you doing, Bart?Copy !req
573. Just passing the time.Copy !req
574. My boy loves Alaska so much,
he's applauding it.Copy !req
575. - Lisa, why aren't you clapping?
- But, Dad...Copy !req
576. Clap for Alaska!Copy !req
577. Well, Marge, we're separated
from the kids by a wall of snow.Copy !req
578. All my dreams are coming true.Copy !req
579. We're going to need more birds.Copy !req
580. Day 93 under the dome.Copy !req
581. With necessities growing
dangerously low...Copy !req
582. who knows what spark will set off
this powder keg?Copy !req
583. - Let's discuss TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE.
- Again?Copy !req
584. If we don't get a new book,
I'm going to puke.Copy !req
585. You're the five people
I'm going to meet in hell!Copy !req
586. We're out of coffee!Copy !req
587. I can't take another minute
in this dome!Copy !req
588. Take that.Copy !req
589. Oh, no! Blowback!Copy !req
590. Look what they're doing to our dome.Copy !req
591. You know what that is, sir?Copy !req
592. - A crack?
- Exactly.Copy !req
593. People got out of the dome before,
they're gonna get out again.Copy !req
594. When they do, there's gonna be
hearings, investigations...Copy !req
595. I'll have to go back to
making family comedies.Copy !req
596. Don't worry,
I have a solution for you, sir.Copy !req
597. In fact, I have five solutions.Copy !req
598. You don't have to read them.
You'll have deniability.Copy !req
599. I'll take care of it. You know nothing.Copy !req
600. No. I need to know
what I'm approving.Copy !req
601. Absolutely. But on the other hand,
knowing things is overrated.Copy !req
602. Anyone can pick something
when they know what it is.Copy !req
603. It takes real leadership to pick
something you're clueless about.Copy !req
604. - Okay, I pick three.
- Try again.Copy !req
605. - One. Five?
- Go higher. Too high.Copy !req
606. - Three?
- You said three.Copy !req
607. - Six? Two?
- There is no six. Double it.Copy !req
608. - Four!
- As you wish, sir.Copy !req
609. Are you tired of
the same old Grand Canyon?Copy !req
610. Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.Copy !req
611. It's so old and boring.
I want a new one. Now!Copy !req
612. Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.Copy !req
613. The U.S. Government
has lost its credibility...Copy !req
614. so it's borrowing some of mine.Copy !req
615. Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.Copy !req
616. Sure thing, son.Copy !req
617. Now, I'm pleased to tell you all
about the New Grand Canyon.Copy !req
618. This weekend. East of Shelbyville
and south of Capitol City.Copy !req
619. That's where Springfield is!Copy !req
620. It's nowhere near where
anything is or ever was.Copy !req
621. This is Tom Hanks, saying:Copy !req
622. If you're going to pick a government
to trust, why not this one?Copy !req
623. Did you see that?Copy !req
624. Yes, they're going
to destroy Springfield.Copy !req
625. But we're going to stop them.Copy !req
626. Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?Copy !req
627. I'm happy here. Screw Springfield!Copy !req
628. I can't believe you'd say
something so selfish.Copy !req
629. Marge, those people chased us
with pitchforks and torches.Copy !req
630. Torches! At 4 in the afternoon!Copy !req
631. - It was 7 at night.
- It was during ACCESS HOLLYWOOD:Copy !req
632. Which is on at 4 and 7.Copy !req
633. Dad, how can you turn your back
on everyone who loved us?Copy !req
634. Flanders helped
when we were in trouble.Copy !req
635. Who cares what he did?
He's not your father.Copy !req
636. I wish he was.Copy !req
637. You don't mean that.
You worship me.Copy !req
638. Oh, yeah?
Look what I did to your picture.Copy !req
639. Look at it.Copy !req
640. How-dilly-doo-dilly.
How-dilly-doo-dilly.Copy !req
641. Why, you little...!Copy !req
642. I'll strangle-angle you!Copy !req
643. Diddily-diddily.Copy !req
644. Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.Copy !req
645. Homer...Copy !req
646. in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:Copy !req
647. "I need you to do this with me."Copy !req
648. That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
649. Homer Simpson!Copy !req
650. We're saving Springfield!Copy !req
651. Listen to me, all of you.
We are staying.Copy !req
652. We have a great life in Alaska...Copy !req
653. and we're never going
back to America again.Copy !req
654. I have spoken!Copy !req
655. Well, I guess I've let her
worry about me long enough.Copy !req
656. Marge? Kids?Copy !req
657. Okay, here goes.Copy !req
658. Homer...Copy !req
659. I've always stood up for you.Copy !req
660. When people point out your flaws...Copy !req
661. I always say:Copy !req
662. "Well, sometimes you have to
stand back to appreciate a work of art."Copy !req
663. Way back.Copy !req
664. Lately, what's keeping us together...Copy !req
665. is my ability to overlook
everything you do.Copy !req
666. And I overlook these things
because...Copy !req
667. Because?Copy !req
668. Well, that's the thing.Copy !req
669. I just don't know how to finish
that sentence anymore.Copy !req
670. So I'm leaving with the kids
to help Springfield...Copy !req
671. and we're never coming back.Copy !req
672. And to prove to myself
that this is the end...Copy !req
673. I taped this over our wedding video.Copy !req
674. Goodbye, Homie.Copy !req
675. I love you.Copy !req
676. Marge? Kids?Copy !req
677. - So, Mom, what's our plan?
- What are you doing up there?Copy !req
678. Looking through people's luggage.Copy !req
679. I'm the mascot of an evil corporation.Copy !req
680. Get down from there.
We have to keep a low profile...Copy !req
681. till we get to Seattle to tell the world
of the plot to destroy Springfield.Copy !req
682. I don't know if you guys
should be talking so loud.Copy !req
683. Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government
is listening to everybody's conversation.Copy !req
684. Hi, I'm calling about
your Meat Lover's pizza.Copy !req
685. I like meat, but I don't know
if I'm ready to love again.Copy !req
686. - You hang up first.
- No, you hang up first.Copy !req
687. Okay.Copy !req
688. She hung up on me!Copy !req
689. But we're fugitives. We should
just lay low till we get to Seattle.Copy !req
690. Hey, everybody, I found one!Copy !req
691. The government actually found
someone we're looking for!Copy !req
692. Yeah, baby, yeah!Copy !req
693. Homer Simpson...Copy !req
694. do you know why you are here?Copy !req
695. Because my family cares more about
other people than they do about me.Copy !req
696. Drink this liquid.Copy !req
697. More, please.Copy !req
698. Now we will cleanse your spirit...Copy !req
699. by the ancient Inuit art
of throat singing.Copy !req
700. Throat singing?Copy !req
701. How long are we doing this?Copy !req
702. - Until you have an epiphany.
- Okay.Copy !req
703. - Until you have an epiphany.
- Okay.Copy !req
704. What's an epiphany?Copy !req
705. Sudden realization of great truth.Copy !req
706. Okay.Copy !req
707. Spider-Pig, Spider-PigCopy !req
708. Does whatever a Spider-Pig doesCopy !req
709. Look out!Copy !req
710. He's a Spider-PigCopy !req
711. Unless you have an epiphany...Copy !req
712. you will spend the remainder
of your days alone.Copy !req
713. Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany.Copy !req
714. Bananas are an excellent source
of potassium.Copy !req
715. Americans will never embrace soccer?Copy !req
716. More than two shakes
and it's playing with yourself?Copy !req
717. Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
718. Oh, do whatever you want to me.
I don't care about myself anymore.Copy !req
719. Because...?Copy !req
720. Because other people
are just as important as me.Copy !req
721. Without them, I'm nothing.Copy !req
722. In order to save myself...Copy !req
723. I have to save Springfield!Copy !req
724. That's it! Isn't it?Copy !req
725. That was the most
incredible experience of my life.Copy !req
726. And now to find my family,
save my town and drop 10 pounds!Copy !req
727. Thank you, boob lady.Copy !req
728. This is it, kids. Seattle.Copy !req
729. Russ Cargill! Do you think he saw us?Copy !req
730. Yes, I did.Copy !req
731. Run! Run!Copy !req
732. Run! Run!Copy !req
733. Run! Run!Copy !req
734. Jump! Jump!Copy !req
735. Land! Land!Copy !req
736. Rest! Rest!Copy !req
737. Run! Run!Copy !req
738. Now, I know we've had a rough day...Copy !req
739. but I'm sure we can put all that
behind us and...Copy !req
740. That's my whipping arm!Copy !req
741. Why does everything I whip leave me?Copy !req
742. Must keep going. Must keep going.Copy !req
743. No, I can't. I can't keep going.Copy !req
744. Yes, you can.Copy !req
745. No, I can't!Copy !req
746. Oh, shut up!Copy !req
747. You shut up.Copy !req
748. No, you. No, you.Copy !req
749. No, you. Oh, real mature.Copy !req
750. How could you say that?Copy !req
751. Oh, what's the point?Copy !req
752. It's hopeless.Copy !req
753. Don't give up, Homer.
You are closer than you think.Copy !req
754. But which way do I go?Copy !req
755. Much obliged.Copy !req
756. Ten-hut!Copy !req
757. Lisa! Knock off that racket.Copy !req
758. Lisa!Copy !req
759. They captured my family.
What do I do? What do I do?Copy !req
760. There's something strange
about that "sop" sign.Copy !req
761. - Did you hear something?
- Probably just a moth.Copy !req
762. I hope it's okay.Copy !req
763. Look, we can't keep stopping at
every "sop,"yeld" or "one vay" sign.Copy !req
764. Just move on.Copy !req
765. Let us out! Let us out!Copy !req
766. Stop that.
You'll scratch your shackles.Copy !req
767. I hope I do.Copy !req
768. Oh, way to go, Bart.Copy !req
769. You stink.Copy !req
770. No, you stink.Copy !req
771. Springfield.Copy !req
772. I can't believe it,
but it got even crappier.Copy !req
773. Oh, man.Copy !req
774. Oh, hi, Midge.Copy !req
775. Moe, what happened?Copy !req
776. With the town sealed off from the rest of
the world, things got a little nutty here.Copy !req
777. Why are you dressed like that?Copy !req
778. Well, I don't like to brag,
but I am now the emperor of Springfield.Copy !req
779. No, you're not!Copy !req
780. Yes, I am!Copy !req
781. Okay. Hail, emperor.Copy !req
782. Attention, Springfield.Copy !req
783. Your government realized that putting you
inside this dome was a terrible mistake.Copy !req
784. Therefore, we're commencing with
Operation Soaring Eagle.Copy !req
785. Which involves killing you all.Copy !req
786. As I speak, we're lowering a small
but powerful bomb into your midst.Copy !req
787. Despite everything, I miss your father.Copy !req
788. Me too.Copy !req
789. His big, fat ass could shield us all.Copy !req
790. Ten-hut!Copy !req
791. At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites...Copy !req
792. and I have an urgent note
from the president.Copy !req
793. It says to release
this town immediately.Copy !req
794. Why is it written on a leaf?Copy !req
795. Perfect.Copy !req
796. Now Homer Simpson's gonna show
he has cojones!Copy !req
797. Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.Copy !req
798. Not now, sweetie.
Doomsday is family time.Copy !req
799. Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill,
the rest of us can climb up that thing.Copy !req
800. Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind
while we escape with our lives?Copy !req
801. My time to shine.Copy !req
802. Hey, Mr. Big TV Man, lookie here!Copy !req
803. What do you want?Copy !req
804. Look what I can do with my thumb.Copy !req
805. You wanna know how I do it?Copy !req
806. Four generations of inbreeding?Copy !req
807. I can smell fresh air.Copy !req
808. I can hear birds.Copy !req
809. I taste freedom.Copy !req
810. Excuse me!
Watch out! Coming through!Copy !req
811. I was tricked by an idiot.Copy !req
812. Hey, I know how you feel.
I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.Copy !req
813. Goodbye.Copy !req
814. Homer do good?Copy !req
815. Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
Nice knowing you, Homer.Copy !req
816. But I...Copy !req
817. I can't do anything right.Copy !req
818. Get out of here!Copy !req
819. I've spent my entire life doing nothing
but collecting comic books.Copy !req
820. And now there's only time to say:Copy !req
821. Life well spent!Copy !req
822. Okay, boys. When you meet Jesus,
be sure to call him Mr. Christ.Copy !req
823. Will Buddha be there too?Copy !req
824. No.Copy !req
825. - Hey, Flanders.
- Bart.Copy !req
826. How good to see you.
And how terrible you're here.Copy !req
827. Thanks.Copy !req
828. Listen. I was just wondering if...Copy !req
829. before I died...Copy !req
830. I could pretend I had a father who...Copy !req
831. cared for me.Copy !req
832. Come here, son.Copy !req
833. There's always room for one more
in the Flanders clan.Copy !req
834. Come on, bomb-disarming robot.
You're our last hope.Copy !req
835. Red wire. Blue wire.
Black is usually the ground.Copy !req
836. So much pressure.Copy !req
837. Pressure!Copy !req
838. He'd been talking about it,
but I didn't take him seriously.Copy !req
839. Marge.Copy !req
840. Marge! Marge!Copy !req
841. Oh, no, the "epipha-tree"!Copy !req
842. Hey, I tried my best.
What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
843. But how am I
supposed to get up there?Copy !req
844. Here. Buy yourself something nice.Copy !req
845. Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?Copy !req
846. Risking my life to save people I hate...Copy !req
847. for reasons I don't quite understand.
Gotta go!Copy !req
848. But first, one stop.Copy !req
849. Bart? Son?Copy !req
850. You think you could find it
in your heart...Copy !req
851. to give your foolish old man
one more chance?Copy !req
852. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
853. It seems to me, son,
that your father's saying that...Copy !req
854. he wants to spend
his last minute with you.Copy !req
855. No. I can't do it.Copy !req
856. I want a father who's the same
in the morning as he is at night.Copy !req
857. What's that word?Copy !req
858. - Consistency.
- Consistency.Copy !req
859. Thanks, losers.Copy !req
860. Sorry, Homer.Copy !req
861. I'll let you hold the bomb.Copy !req
862. The man knows me.Copy !req
863. I wish Homer was my father.Copy !req
864. And I wish you didn't have
the devil's curly hair.Copy !req
865. I've been taking your crap all my life!Copy !req
866. This feels good. No wonder you do it.Copy !req
867. Okay, you've only got one shot
to throw that bomb through the hole.Copy !req
868. Dad, in case I miss...Copy !req
869. I'm sorry I said I wished
you weren't my father.Copy !req
870. I don't blame you, son.
I wasn't much of a father.Copy !req
871. Maybe it starts with the way
my dad raised me.Copy !req
872. Yes. It's clear to me. It's just been
one long, unbroken cycle of...Copy !req
873. Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!Copy !req
874. What? What's going on?Copy !req
875. We did it, boy!Copy !req
876. Dad?Copy !req
877. It's amazing no one was hurt.Copy !req
878. Bye, everybody.Copy !req
879. Now, that was
a great father-son activity.Copy !req
880. Hello, Homer.Copy !req
881. So we meet at last, whoever you are.Copy !req
882. There's two things they don't teach you
at Harvard Business School.Copy !req
883. How to cope with defeat,
and how to handle a shotgun.Copy !req
884. I'm going to do both right now.Copy !req
885. Wait! If you kill my dad...Copy !req
886. you'll never know
where the treasure is buried.Copy !req
887. What treasure?Copy !req
888. The Treasure of Imawiener.Copy !req
889. I'm a wiener?Copy !req
890. Classic.Copy !req
891. Well, always leave them laughing.Copy !req
892. Goodbye, sir.Copy !req
893. Maggie! What a great little accident
you turned out to be.Copy !req
894. Colin? Colin!Copy !req
895. Lisa? Colin's dead.Copy !req
896. But his last words were:Copy !req
897. "Milhouse, take care of Lisa.
Hold her hand."Copy !req
898. I got her all warmed up for you.Copy !req
899. Colin. Hi.Copy !req
900. - Hey, you wanna go...?
- Clean up the lake?Copy !req
901. Well, I was gonna say
get some ice cream, but okay.Copy !req
902. I like ice cream.Copy !req
903. Kind of sweaty. Sorry.Copy !req
904. Boy! You survived! How?Copy !req
905. I did things no dog should do.Copy !req
906. They will haunt me forever.Copy !req
907. I love you too.Copy !req
908. Best kiss of my life.Copy !req
909. Best kiss of your life so far.Copy !req
910. Steady.Copy !req
911. Steady.Copy !req
912. Steady.Copy !req
913. Dad?Copy !req
914. Thanks, boy.Copy !req
915. Steady.Copy !req
916. They've taken everything, sir.Copy !req
917. Smithers, I don't believe in suicide...Copy !req
918. but if you'd like to try it,
it might cheer me up to watch.Copy !req
919. This is Tom Hanks, saying:Copy !req
920. If you see me in person,
please, leave me be.Copy !req
921. Spider-Pig, Spider-PigCopy !req
922. Does whatever a Spider-Pig doesCopy !req
923. Can he swing from a web?Copy !req
924. No, he can't, he's a pigCopy !req
925. Look out!Copy !req
926. He is a Spider-PigCopy !req
927. Look out!Copy !req
928. He is a Spider-PigCopy !req
929. Come on, Dad, let's go. I've been holding
it since they put the dome over the town.Copy !req
930. You can wait. A lot of people
worked really hard on this film...Copy !req
931. and all they ask is for you
to memorize their names.Copy !req
932. Well, I wanna make sure
no animals were harmed...Copy !req
933. during the filming of this movie.Copy !req
934. Okay.Copy !req
935. Floor popcorn.Copy !req
936. Wait, wait, wait! It looks like
Maggie has something to say.Copy !req
937. Oh, my God. Her first word.Copy !req
938. Sequel?Copy !req
939. Springfield doesn't have an anthemCopy !req
940. We thought we had one
But we don'tCopy !req
941. We paid a short guy to write itCopy !req
942. But we never saw him againCopy !req
943. The tune we stole from the FrenchCopy !req
944. There's a few things they do wellCopy !req
945. Like making love, wine and cheeseCopy !req
946. Like Roqueforts, Camemberts and BriesCopy !req
947. Springfield, we're going to dieCopy !req
948. Springfield, I'm scared, goodbyeCopy !req
949. Assistant manager
isn't all it's cracked up to be.Copy !req
950. Four years of film school for this?Copy !req