1. We come in peace
for cats and mice everywhere.
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2. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming out.
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3. Itchy... Itchy...
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4. Boring!
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5. Dad, we can't see the movie.
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6. I can't believe we're paying to see
something we get on TV for free.
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7. If you ask me, everybody in this theater
is a giant sucker.
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8. Especially you.
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9. Especially you.
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10. Movie on the big screen!
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11. Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.
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12. All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.
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13. We've been playing
for three and a half hours.
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14. Now we'd like just a minute of your time
to say something about the environment.
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15. - You suck!
- Shut up and play!
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16. - Preachy!
- We're not being preachy.
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17. But the pollution in your lake,
it's dissolving our barge.
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18. I thought they touched on
a vital issue.
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19. I beg to differ.
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20. Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.
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21. For the latest rock band
to die in our town...
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22. Lord, hear our prayer.
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23. Lord, hear our prayer.
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24. I hate being late.
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25. Well, I hate going.
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26. Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way...
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27. by praying like hell on my deathbed?
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28. Homer, they can hear you inside.
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29. Relax. Those pious morons are too busy
talking to their phony-baloney God.
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30. How you doing? Peace be with you.
Praise Jebus.
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31. Today I'd like to try something
a little different.
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32. I'm going to call on one of you!
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33. Now, the word of God
dwells within everyone.
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34. I want you to let that word out.
Let your spirit...
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35. What is it, Ned?
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36. The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.
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37. Gay, gay, gay.
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38. An immodest sense of pride
in our community.
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39. Somebody else?
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40. Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
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41. Feel the spirit.
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42. Let it out!
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43. Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!
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44. And they're gonna happen to you!
And you! And you! And you.
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45. Whoa, nelly!
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46. People of Springfield,
heed this warning:
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47. Twisted tail!
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48. A thousand eyes!
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49. Trapped forever!
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50. Dad, do something!
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51. This book doesn't have any answers!
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52. Beware! Beware! Time is short!
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53. Believe me! Believe me!
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54. Thanks for listening.
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55. Okay, who wants waffles?
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56. I do, I do, I do!
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57. Wait a minute. What about Grampa?
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58. - I want syrup!
- I want strawberries!
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59. Something happened to that man.
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60. I'll tell you what happened to him.
A certain someone had a senior moment.
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61. But that's okay, because we love him
and we got a free rug out of it.
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62. What is the point of going to church
every Sunday...
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63. when if someone we love has a genuine
religious experience, we ignore it?
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64. Right, Grampa?
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65. I want bananas on my waffles.
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66. I rest my case.
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67. I'm not dropping this.
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68. Wait a minute. I'm still in the car.
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69. Oh, right.
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70. "Take out hornets' nest."
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71. Check. "Fix sinkhole."
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72. Check.
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73. "Re-shingle roof"?
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74. Steady.
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75. Steady.
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76. Why, you little...!
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77. I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!
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78. You know, we are on the roof.
We could have some fun.
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79. What kind of fun?
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80. How about a dare contest?
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81. That sounds fun. I dare you to...
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82. climb the TV antenna!
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83. - Piece of cake.
- Earthquake!
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84. Aftershock!
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85. Homer, I don't mean
to be a Nervous Pervis...
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86. but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a paraplege-arino?
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87. Shut up, Flanders.
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88. - Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
- Well said, boy.
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89. Steady. Steady.
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90. Steady...
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91. Hello. Sorry to bother you
on a Sunday...
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92. but I'm sure you're as worried about
the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am.
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93. Lake Springfield has higher levels
of mercury than ev...
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94. Why, it's the little girl
who saved my cat.
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95. Lake Springfield is...
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96. Come on over, Lisa.
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97. You can canvass me
as long as you want.
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98. Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.
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99. Hey. I am very passionate
about the planet.
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100. Say global warming is a myth.
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101. It's a myth! Further study is needed!
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102. That's for selling out your beliefs.
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103. Oh, poor Milhouse.
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104. Dream coming true.
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105. Are you aware that a leaky faucet
can waste over...?
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106. Two thousand gallons a year.
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107. - Turning off lights can save...
- Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
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108. And if we kept our thermostats
at 68 in winter...
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109. We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years.
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110. I'm Colin.
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111. I haven't seen you at school.
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112. Moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.
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113. - Is he...?
- He's not Bono.
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114. - I just thought, because you're Irish and...
- He's not Bono.
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115. Do you play?
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116. Just piano, guitar, trumpet,
drums and bass.
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117. He's pure gold.
For once in your life, be cool.
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118. So is your name as pretty
as your face?
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119. You okay there?
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120. Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever!
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121. What could that be?
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122. I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made...
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123. when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.
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124. Yeah. Thanks for coming over.
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125. Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.
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126. Never known comfort like this.
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127. Why did I suggest this?
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128. All right, boy,
time for the ultimate dare.
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129. I dare you to skateboard
to Krusty Burger and back...
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130. naked.
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131. - How naked?
- Fourth base.
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132. Girls might see my doodle.
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133. Oh, I see. Then I hereby
declare you chicken for life.
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134. Every morning, you'll wake up to
"Good morning, chicken."
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135. At your wedding, I'll sing:
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136. I like men now.
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137. Don't look where I'm pointing!
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138. Stop in the name of
American squeamishness!
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139. Boys, before we eat, don't forget
to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
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140. Penis?
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141. - Bountiful penis.
- Bountiful penis.
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142. Amen.
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143. Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes
in public, but, you know, it's the law.
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144. Lunchtime!
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145. You can't just leave me out here.
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146. Don't worry, we found
a friend for you to play with.
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147. Nelson, honey, where have you been?
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148. - Dad!
- What seems to be the problem, officers?
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149. Tell him you dared me to do it.
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150. If that's true, then you should be
taking the rap here, not your son.
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151. And what happens to me
if it's my fault?
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152. You'll have to attend
a one-hour parenting class.
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153. It was all his idea!
He's out of control, I tell you!
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154. I'm at my wits' end.
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155. It's so...
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156. See you in court, kid.
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157. Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
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158. Did you at least bring my clothes?
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159. Shirt, socks, everything you need.
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160. - You didn't bring my pants.
- Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
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161. This is the worst day of my life.
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162. The worst day of your life so far.
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163. - Say, Bart?
- What do you want, Flanders?
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164. If you need pants,
I carry an extra pair.
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165. You know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.
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166. Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.
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167. We're neighbors. I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.
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168. Thank you.
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169. - Hey, what's with you?
- You really wanna know?
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170. Of course I do.
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171. What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...?
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172. A pig wearing a hat!
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173. Action.
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174. Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger.
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175. If you can find a greasier sandwich,
you're in Mexico!
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176. And we're clear.
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177. Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
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178. What...? You can't kill him
if he's wearing people clothes!
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179. You're coming home with me.
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180. "A thousand eyes."
What could that be?
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181. I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.
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182. Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
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183. Actually, it's aged me horribly.
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184. Then say hello
to the newest Simpson.
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185. Homer!
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186. I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.
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187. Please, get rid of that pig.
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188. Oh, you're gonna love him.
Look, he does an impression of you.
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189. You nailed her.
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190. He also does me.
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191. You smiled. I'm off the hook.
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192. Oh, you have so many looks.
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193. So that's what snug is.
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194. Who's a good pig?
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195. Who's a good pig?
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196. Rough day, huh, son?
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197. You don't know what rough is, sister.
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198. Bart, you know, whenever my boys
bake up a batch of frownies...
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199. I take them fishing.
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200. Does your dad ever take you fishing?
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201. Dad, it's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.
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202. If you love fish like I do,
you want them to die with dignity.
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203. I think I have a nibble.
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204. I think fishing might be
more fun with you.
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205. Oh, great. Now, how about
I fix you some cocoa?
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206. No way. Cocoa's for wusses.
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207. Well, sir, if you change your mind,
it's on the windowsill.
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208. Oh, my God.
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209. Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the best part.
He loves the environment.
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210. Oh, wait! I still didn't tell you
the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
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211. No, no, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part.
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212. He's not imaginary!
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213. Oh, honey, that's great.
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214. But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.
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215. Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
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216. How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
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217. Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
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218. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
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219. Can he swing from a web?
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220. No, he can't, he's a pig
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221. Look out
He is the Spider-Pig
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222. Are we having fun yet?
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223. We are now. You've got a bite.
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224. Whoa, mama!
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225. Oh, no, my good pole!
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226. You're not strangling me.
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227. What the...?
Strangling's only good for...
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228. Well, it's not good for anything.
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229. The only time you should
lay hands on a boy...
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230. is to give him
a good pat on the back.
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231. Hey, what the hell are you...?
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232. One more time.
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233. Honey, I'm home.
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234. We are at the tipping point, people.
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235. If we don't do something now...
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236. I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Isn't he dreamy?
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237. Agreed.
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238. Okay, so here's the bottom line:
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239. If we don't change our ways
right now...
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240. pollution in Lake Springfield
will be at this level.
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241. That's not so bad.
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242. No, the lift is stuck.
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243. Am I getting through to anyone?
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244. Hell, yeah.
We need a new one of those things.
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245. All in favor of a new scissor lift,
say "aye."
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246. - Aye.
- No!
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247. This lake is just one piece of trash
away from a toxic nightmare.
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248. But I knew you wouldn't listen.
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249. So I took the liberty of pouring water
from the lake in all your drinking glasses.
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250. This is why we should hate kids.
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251. This is serious, people.
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252. No more dumping in the lake.
I hereby declare a state of emergency.
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253. Code black.
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254. Black? That's the worst color there is.
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255. - No offense there, Carl.
- I get it all the time.
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256. Sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.
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257. Fine. I will put my yard trimmings
in a car compactor.
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258. Chief, I think there was
a dead body in there.
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259. I thought that too,
until he said "yard trimmings."
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260. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.
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261. Let us now make sure
this barrier is completely idiot-proof.
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262. - Cletus.
- Yessum?
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263. Try to dump something in the lake.
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264. Okay.
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265. I can't. I simply can't.
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266. - Brilliant.
- Very effective.
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267. Don't get any ideas.
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268. Maybe we should kiss,
just to break the tension.
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269. What's going on here?
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270. Nothing. Nothing.
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271. I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.
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272. And by the way,
what are you doing with his leavings?
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273. Don't worry.
I've devised a most elegant solution.
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274. It's leaking.
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275. It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
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276. He filled up the whole silo
in just two days?
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277. Well, I helped.
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278. Homer, stop! Stop. I know it's easy
for your mind to wander...
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279. but I want you to
really concentrate on me.
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280. I can't escape the feeling that this
is the crisis Grampa warned us about.
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281. You have to dispose
of that waste properly.
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282. Okay, Marge. I will.
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283. You can take Spider-Pig with you.
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284. He's not Spider-Pig anymore,
he's Harry Plopper.
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285. Hello.
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286. Homer, you gotta get over here.
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287. Health inspector shut down the doughnut
store, they're giving out free doughnuts!
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288. Oh, my God, oh, my God!
I just got one thing I gotta do first.
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289. Well, you better hurry.
They're going fast.
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290. Whoa, that was close.
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291. Evil!
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292. Drive, drive, drive!
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293. Oh, right.
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294. Look at that. You can see
the four states that border Springfield:
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295. Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
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296. Oh, yeah.
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297. And if you look real close,
you can almost...
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298. Well, this certainly seems odd...
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299. but who am I to question
the work of the Almighty?
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300. We thank you, Lord,
for this mighty fine intelligent design.
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301. Good job.
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302. Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!
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303. Hey! Jab one more eye
and it's a federal crime.
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304. - Who are you?
- Environmental Protection Agency.
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305. Russ Cargill, head of the EPA,
here to see the president.
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306. Mr. President.
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307. Ja, that is me.
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308. Pollution in Springfield
has reached crisis levels.
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309. I hate this job. Everything's "crisis" this
and "end of the world" that.
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310. Nobody opens with a joke.
I miss Danny De Vito.
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311. You want a joke, huh?
Stop me if you've heard this one.
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312. Look at those angry eyes
and giant teeth.
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313. It's like Christmas
at the Kennedy compound.
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314. You know, sir, when you
made me head of the EPA...
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315. you appointed one of
the most successful men in America...
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316. to the least successful agency
in government.
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317. And why did I take the job?
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318. Because I'm a rich man
who wanted to give something back.
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319. Not the money, but something.
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320. So here is our chance to
kick some ass for Mother Earth.
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321. - I'm listening.
- Well, I've narrowed your choices down...
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322. to five unthinkable options.
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323. Each will cause untold misery...
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324. I pick number three.
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325. You don't wanna read them first?
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326. I was elected to lead, not to read.
Number three!
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327. We're being sealed in a dome!
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328. What do I do?
I don't know what to do!
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329. If I stay, I'm trapped.
If I leave, I'm alone.
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330. Oh, God. In, out, in, out!
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331. I never saw Venice.
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332. "Trapped forever."
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333. It's all come true.
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334. That crazy old man in church
was right.
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335. Dome!
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336. All right, men, open fire.
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337. Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
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338. Without the attitude.
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339. People, people.
I have an important announcement.
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340. I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill...
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341. - which can cut through anything.
- Hey, that's cool.
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342. It's right there.
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343. Just outside of the dome.
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344. What ruthless madmen
could have done this to us?
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345. The United States government.
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346. My name is Russ Cargill
and I'm head of the EPA.
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347. The what?
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348. - Environmental Protection Agency.
- Come again?
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349. Look, I'm a man on a big TV.
Just listen.
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350. - Springfield has become...
- Springfield!
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351. The most polluted city
in the history of the planet.
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352. Drama queen!
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353. To keep your poisons
from spreading...
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354. your government has sealed you
in this dome.
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355. It's the last thing we wanted to do.
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356. I own the company that makes
the dome, but that's beside the point.
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357. You mean we're trapped like rats?
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358. No, rats can't be trapped this easily.
You're trapped like carrots.
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359. Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.
Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.
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360. Apparently someone
didn't get the message.
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361. Act natural.
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362. Hey, buddy, sooner or later,
people are gonna discover this.
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363. Don't worry about that. We found
a way to take you off the map.
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364. Coming up on your right:
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365. Nothing.
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366. This is Kent Brockman,
reporting to you on a crisis so serious...
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367. it has its own name
and theme music.
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368. The dome has put an end
to life as we know it.
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369. The town is running low on supplies of
everything from gasoline to Botox.
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370. Moment, please.
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371. Now, as always, we end our news
on "The Lighter Side."
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372. It's the time of year when
the swallows return to Springfield.
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373. I think the thing I miss most
is a simple summer breeze.
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374. Maggie?
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375. We've got dome wax, dome polish,
dome freshener, all your dome needs...
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376. at Dome Depot,
located at the 105 and the dome.
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377. Dome Depot!
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378. Maggie got out! Maggie got out!
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379. Maggie was right there,
just outside the dome.
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380. Marge, she's right here.
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381. This dome can play tricks on you.
You just have to keep calm and...
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382. Oh, my God.
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383. I'm out of the dome.
Fresh air! Freedom!
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384. I'll write you. Lead good lives!
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385. Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.
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386. Efforts to find out
whose selfish crime...
Copy !req
387. caused our entrapment
have been fruitless.
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388. Until moments ago!
Copy !req
389. A shocking discovery has been made
here at Lake Springfield.
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390. That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.
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391. Homer, it was you.
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392. You single-handedly killed this town.
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393. I know. It's weird.
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394. Just a reminder, this station does not
endorse vigilante justice.
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395. Unless it gets results. Which it will.
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396. You didn't listen to me
after I warned you.
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397. Don't worry,
nobody watches this stupid show.
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398. What's that ominous glow
in the distance?
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399. Kill! Kill! Kill!
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400. Marge, look. Those idiots
don't even know where we live.
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401. Kill! Kill! Kill!
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402. We want Homer! We want Homer!
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403. You monster. You monster!
Copy !req
404. Did you see the news?
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405. Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.
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406. But I'm so angry.
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407. You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.
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408. Okay.
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409. Homer, you have to go out there,
face that mob...
Copy !req
410. and apologize for what you did.
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411. I would, but I'm afraid if I open
the door, they'll take all of you.
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412. No, we won't. We just want Homer!
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413. Well, maybe not you,
but they'll kill Grampa.
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414. I'm part of the mob!
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415. Teeny! Take out the baby.
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416. Here, let me get that for you.
Copy !req
417. Stay back. I got a chain saw.
Copy !req
418. Bart!
Copy !req
419. Crawl across. Hurry.
Copy !req
420. But if they see you helping us,
they'll kill you.
Copy !req
421. I'm sure your father would
do the same for...
Copy !req
422. Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
Copy !req
423. Archers.
Copy !req
424. I'm using a red arrow
so I know who I kill.
Copy !req
425. No, Plopper.
If you push that, Daddy will die.
Copy !req
426. Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.
Copy !req
427. Wait! There's something I have to get.
Copy !req
428. - What'd you get?
- Our wedding video.
Copy !req
429. - We have a wedding video?
- Torch his gas tank!
Copy !req
430. We lost them.
Copy !req
431. Up here.
Copy !req
432. Get them! Get them!
Copy !req
433. Little help?
Copy !req
434. You know, the word "apology"...
Copy !req
435. is tossed around a lot these days,
but when it comes from in here...
Copy !req
436. Mom, what are we gonna do?
Copy !req
437. Maggie, not now.
Copy !req
438. We'll play later.
Copy !req
439. The sinkhole. Follow me, kids!
Copy !req
440. - Geronimo!
- Sacajawea!
Copy !req
441. So long, losers!
Copy !req
442. The top of his head is still showing.
Claw at it!
Copy !req
443. Well, they're China's problem now.
Copy !req
444. Colin!
Copy !req
445. I can't hear you!
Copy !req
446. I never thought my life would have an
absolutely perfect moment, but this is...
Copy !req
447. Lisa's got a boyfriend
that she'll never see again!
Copy !req
448. Perfect.
Copy !req
449. - What do we do?
- Now we run.
Copy !req
450. I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
Copy !req
451. Damn it!
Copy !req
452. Well, then, you find them
and you get them back in the dome.
Copy !req
453. And so nobody else gets out...
Copy !req
454. I want roving death squads
around the perimeter 24/7.
Copy !req
455. I want 10,000 tough guys...
Copy !req
456. and I want 10,000 soft guys
to make the tough guys look tougher.
Copy !req
457. And here's how I want them arranged:
Tough, tough, soft, tough...
Copy !req
458. soft, soft, tough, tough,
soft, soft, tough, soft.
Copy !req
459. Sir, I'm afraid you've
gone mad with power.
Copy !req
460. Of course. Ever try going mad without
power? It's boring. No one listens to you.
Copy !req
461. - Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
- I'm troubled.
Copy !req
462. - Bart.
- I promise, I'll stop tomorrow.
Copy !req
463. You'll stop right now.
Copy !req
464. You come back here, little man.
Copy !req
465. I miss Flanders. There, I said it!
Copy !req
466. - Where's your father?
- He went out.
Copy !req
467. Let's quickly rebuild our lives
while he's gone.
Copy !req
468. Hey, guys?
Copy !req
469. What's the secret knock, again?
Copy !req
470. Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
Copy !req
471. It's huge! We're homeless!
Copy !req
472. Our friends wanna kill us!
Copy !req
473. Before we can even stay
in the same room with you...
Copy !req
474. I need to know what was
going through your mind...
Copy !req
475. when you didn't listen to me...
Copy !req
476. and dumped that silo in the lake.
Copy !req
477. Homer!
Copy !req
478. I don't know what to tell you, Marge.
I don't think about things.
Copy !req
479. I respect people who do...
Copy !req
480. but I just try to make the days not hurt
until I get to crawl in next to you again.
Copy !req
481. I mean, oh.
Copy !req
482. Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry...
Copy !req
483. I'm prepared with a solution.
Copy !req
484. I've always been afraid I'd screw up our
lives so badly we'd need a backup plan.
Copy !req
485. And that plan is right here!
Copy !req
486. No.
Copy !req
487. Nope.
Copy !req
488. Bingo.
Copy !req
489. Bear with me.
Copy !req
490. Alaska?
Copy !req
491. Alaska. A place where you can't be
too fat or too drunk.
Copy !req
492. Where no one says things like:
Copy !req
493. "Let's see your high school
equivalency certificate."
Copy !req
494. I don't know, Homie.
Copy !req
495. I'm not saying it right.
Copy !req
496. Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.
Copy !req
497. And I've really come to like you guys.
Copy !req
498. I just don't see it.
Copy !req
499. Marge, in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:
Copy !req
500. "I need you to do this with me."
Copy !req
501. And there's only one answer
when somebody says that.
Copy !req
502. Okay, Homie, I'm with you.
Copy !req
503. Thank you, my sweetheart.
Copy !req
504. - Mom?
- Yes, honey?
Copy !req
505. You just bought
another load of crap...
Copy !req
506. from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.
Copy !req
507. You'll pay for ruining
this golden family moment!
Copy !req
508. Homer!
Copy !req
509. How are we supposed to get to Alaska
without any money?
Copy !req
510. All right, son. If you don't believe in me,
believe in America.
Copy !req
511. America. Where any man can make
quick money with no questions asked.
Copy !req
512. Step right up and win my truck!
Copy !req
513. All you have to do is conquer
the Ball of Death.
Copy !req
514. - What's the catch?
- No catch.
Copy !req
515. Just ride the motorcycle
all the way around just one time.
Copy !req
516. Three tries for $ 10.
Copy !req
517. - Marge, how much money do we have?
- Ten dollars.
Copy !req
518. That counts as a try.
Copy !req
519. That's two.
Copy !req
520. And that's three.
Copy !req
521. Here's what I'll do,
because I like seeing you hurt yourself:
Copy !req
522. I'll give you one on the house.
Copy !req
523. - You're the best.
- Dad!
Copy !req
524. When you get to the top,
don't slow down, speed up!
Copy !req
525. - But that's when it's the scariest.
- Just do it!
Copy !req
526. Yes!
Copy !req
527. Yay, Dad!
Copy !req
528. I'll take that truck now.
Copy !req
529. Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.
Copy !req
530. Next stop, Alaska!
Copy !req
531. Day 37 under the dome.
Copy !req
532. We are facing intermittent
power failures which...
Copy !req
533. Okay, very funny.
I'm gonna turn the lights off again.
Copy !req
534. When they come back on,
I want all my booze back the way it was.
Copy !req
535. Yeah, okay. Okay.
Copy !req
536. I'm very proud of you, Bart.
Over 24 hours sober.
Copy !req
537. - You are, aren't you?
- I'll prove it.
Copy !req
538. We're giving your father another chance,
and we owe it to him to...
Copy !req
539. - Oh, my God.
- Can I help you?
Copy !req
540. We need diapers.
Copy !req
541. - Okay.
- No. No, we don't. We don't.
Copy !req
542. - Ladies' razorblades.
- Right.
Copy !req
543. No! No. No, we don't.
I forgot, we're European.
Copy !req
544. Just give us beef jerky.
Copy !req
545. Lots and lots of beef jerky.
Copy !req
546. That's right. That's what we need.
That's all we came in for.
Copy !req
547. Sure.
Copy !req
548. Oh, my God. There they are!
Copy !req
549. So you want some of my electricity,
do you?
Copy !req
550. Well, for once,
the rich white man is in control.
Copy !req
551. I have two buttons behind this desk.
Copy !req
552. One will supply your town with power,
the other releases the hounds.
Copy !req
553. Reach me. Make me your brother.
Copy !req
554. The hospital's generator
is about to give out.
Copy !req
555. Lives will be lost.
Copy !req
556. "Lives lost." Go on.
Copy !req
557. We got a convict we were gonna
fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
Copy !req
558. Tempting. Tempting.
Copy !req
559. Look, all our reasons mean nothing.
Copy !req
560. Just look into your heart
and you'll find the answer.
Copy !req
561. - First door on the right.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
562. What...? This isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!
Copy !req
563. Oh, that's better.
Copy !req
564. Homer!
Copy !req
565. Well, at least my poster
didn't get torn.
Copy !req
566. Welcome to Alaska. Here's $ 1000.
Copy !req
567. Well, it's about time! But why?
Copy !req
568. We pay every resident $ 1000...
Copy !req
569. to allow oil companies to ravage
our state's natural beauty.
Copy !req
570. I'm home!
Copy !req
571. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
572. What are you doing, Bart?
Copy !req
573. Just passing the time.
Copy !req
574. My boy loves Alaska so much,
he's applauding it.
Copy !req
575. - Lisa, why aren't you clapping?
- But, Dad...
Copy !req
576. Clap for Alaska!
Copy !req
577. Well, Marge, we're separated
from the kids by a wall of snow.
Copy !req
578. All my dreams are coming true.
Copy !req
579. We're going to need more birds.
Copy !req
580. Day 93 under the dome.
Copy !req
581. With necessities growing
dangerously low...
Copy !req
582. who knows what spark will set off
this powder keg?
Copy !req
583. - Let's discuss TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE.
- Again?
Copy !req
584. If we don't get a new book,
I'm going to puke.
Copy !req
585. You're the five people
I'm going to meet in hell!
Copy !req
586. We're out of coffee!
Copy !req
587. I can't take another minute
in this dome!
Copy !req
588. Take that.
Copy !req
589. Oh, no! Blowback!
Copy !req
590. Look what they're doing to our dome.
Copy !req
591. You know what that is, sir?
Copy !req
592. - A crack?
- Exactly.
Copy !req
593. People got out of the dome before,
they're gonna get out again.
Copy !req
594. When they do, there's gonna be
hearings, investigations...
Copy !req
595. I'll have to go back to
making family comedies.
Copy !req
596. Don't worry,
I have a solution for you, sir.
Copy !req
597. In fact, I have five solutions.
Copy !req
598. You don't have to read them.
You'll have deniability.
Copy !req
599. I'll take care of it. You know nothing.
Copy !req
600. No. I need to know
what I'm approving.
Copy !req
601. Absolutely. But on the other hand,
knowing things is overrated.
Copy !req
602. Anyone can pick something
when they know what it is.
Copy !req
603. It takes real leadership to pick
something you're clueless about.
Copy !req
604. - Okay, I pick three.
- Try again.
Copy !req
605. - One. Five?
- Go higher. Too high.
Copy !req
606. - Three?
- You said three.
Copy !req
607. - Six? Two?
- There is no six. Double it.
Copy !req
608. - Four!
- As you wish, sir.
Copy !req
609. Are you tired of
the same old Grand Canyon?
Copy !req
610. Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.
Copy !req
611. It's so old and boring.
I want a new one. Now!
Copy !req
612. Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.
Copy !req
613. The U.S. Government
has lost its credibility...
Copy !req
614. so it's borrowing some of mine.
Copy !req
615. Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.
Copy !req
616. Sure thing, son.
Copy !req
617. Now, I'm pleased to tell you all
about the New Grand Canyon.
Copy !req
618. This weekend. East of Shelbyville
and south of Capitol City.
Copy !req
619. That's where Springfield is!
Copy !req
620. It's nowhere near where
anything is or ever was.
Copy !req
621. This is Tom Hanks, saying:
Copy !req
622. If you're going to pick a government
to trust, why not this one?
Copy !req
623. Did you see that?
Copy !req
624. Yes, they're going
to destroy Springfield.
Copy !req
625. But we're going to stop them.
Copy !req
626. Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?
Copy !req
627. I'm happy here. Screw Springfield!
Copy !req
628. I can't believe you'd say
something so selfish.
Copy !req
629. Marge, those people chased us
with pitchforks and torches.
Copy !req
630. Torches! At 4 in the afternoon!
Copy !req
631. - It was 7 at night.
- It was during ACCESS HOLLYWOOD:
Copy !req
632. Which is on at 4 and 7.
Copy !req
633. Dad, how can you turn your back
on everyone who loved us?
Copy !req
634. Flanders helped
when we were in trouble.
Copy !req
635. Who cares what he did?
He's not your father.
Copy !req
636. I wish he was.
Copy !req
637. You don't mean that.
You worship me.
Copy !req
638. Oh, yeah?
Look what I did to your picture.
Copy !req
639. Look at it.
Copy !req
640. How-dilly-doo-dilly.
How-dilly-doo-dilly.
Copy !req
641. Why, you little...!
Copy !req
642. I'll strangle-angle you!
Copy !req
643. Diddily-diddily.
Copy !req
644. Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.
Copy !req
645. Homer...
Copy !req
646. in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:
Copy !req
647. "I need you to do this with me."
Copy !req
648. That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
Copy !req
649. Homer Simpson!
Copy !req
650. We're saving Springfield!
Copy !req
651. Listen to me, all of you.
We are staying.
Copy !req
652. We have a great life in Alaska...
Copy !req
653. and we're never going
back to America again.
Copy !req
654. I have spoken!
Copy !req
655. Well, I guess I've let her
worry about me long enough.
Copy !req
656. Marge? Kids?
Copy !req
657. Okay, here goes.
Copy !req
658. Homer...
Copy !req
659. I've always stood up for you.
Copy !req
660. When people point out your flaws...
Copy !req
661. I always say:
Copy !req
662. "Well, sometimes you have to
stand back to appreciate a work of art."
Copy !req
663. Way back.
Copy !req
664. Lately, what's keeping us together...
Copy !req
665. is my ability to overlook
everything you do.
Copy !req
666. And I overlook these things
because...
Copy !req
667. Because?
Copy !req
668. Well, that's the thing.
Copy !req
669. I just don't know how to finish
that sentence anymore.
Copy !req
670. So I'm leaving with the kids
to help Springfield...
Copy !req
671. and we're never coming back.
Copy !req
672. And to prove to myself
that this is the end...
Copy !req
673. I taped this over our wedding video.
Copy !req
674. Goodbye, Homie.
Copy !req
675. I love you.
Copy !req
676. Marge? Kids?
Copy !req
677. - So, Mom, what's our plan?
- What are you doing up there?
Copy !req
678. Looking through people's luggage.
Copy !req
679. I'm the mascot of an evil corporation.
Copy !req
680. Get down from there.
We have to keep a low profile...
Copy !req
681. till we get to Seattle to tell the world
of the plot to destroy Springfield.
Copy !req
682. I don't know if you guys
should be talking so loud.
Copy !req
683. Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government
is listening to everybody's conversation.
Copy !req
684. Hi, I'm calling about
your Meat Lover's pizza.
Copy !req
685. I like meat, but I don't know
if I'm ready to love again.
Copy !req
686. - You hang up first.
- No, you hang up first.
Copy !req
687. Okay.
Copy !req
688. She hung up on me!
Copy !req
689. But we're fugitives. We should
just lay low till we get to Seattle.
Copy !req
690. Hey, everybody, I found one!
Copy !req
691. The government actually found
someone we're looking for!
Copy !req
692. Yeah, baby, yeah!
Copy !req
693. Homer Simpson...
Copy !req
694. do you know why you are here?
Copy !req
695. Because my family cares more about
other people than they do about me.
Copy !req
696. Drink this liquid.
Copy !req
697. More, please.
Copy !req
698. Now we will cleanse your spirit...
Copy !req
699. by the ancient Inuit art
of throat singing.
Copy !req
700. Throat singing?
Copy !req
701. How long are we doing this?
Copy !req
702. - Until you have an epiphany.
- Okay.
Copy !req
703. - Until you have an epiphany.
- Okay.
Copy !req
704. What's an epiphany?
Copy !req
705. Sudden realization of great truth.
Copy !req
706. Okay.
Copy !req
707. Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
Copy !req
708. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
Copy !req
709. Look out!
Copy !req
710. He's a Spider-Pig
Copy !req
711. Unless you have an epiphany...
Copy !req
712. you will spend the remainder
of your days alone.
Copy !req
713. Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany.
Copy !req
714. Bananas are an excellent source
of potassium.
Copy !req
715. Americans will never embrace soccer?
Copy !req
716. More than two shakes
and it's playing with yourself?
Copy !req
717. Hey, what are you doing?
Copy !req
718. Oh, do whatever you want to me.
I don't care about myself anymore.
Copy !req
719. Because...?
Copy !req
720. Because other people
are just as important as me.
Copy !req
721. Without them, I'm nothing.
Copy !req
722. In order to save myself...
Copy !req
723. I have to save Springfield!
Copy !req
724. That's it! Isn't it?
Copy !req
725. That was the most
incredible experience of my life.
Copy !req
726. And now to find my family,
save my town and drop 10 pounds!
Copy !req
727. Thank you, boob lady.
Copy !req
728. This is it, kids. Seattle.
Copy !req
729. Russ Cargill! Do you think he saw us?
Copy !req
730. Yes, I did.
Copy !req
731. Run! Run!
Copy !req
732. Run! Run!
Copy !req
733. Run! Run!
Copy !req
734. Jump! Jump!
Copy !req
735. Land! Land!
Copy !req
736. Rest! Rest!
Copy !req
737. Run! Run!
Copy !req
738. Now, I know we've had a rough day...
Copy !req
739. but I'm sure we can put all that
behind us and...
Copy !req
740. That's my whipping arm!
Copy !req
741. Why does everything I whip leave me?
Copy !req
742. Must keep going. Must keep going.
Copy !req
743. No, I can't. I can't keep going.
Copy !req
744. Yes, you can.
Copy !req
745. No, I can't!
Copy !req
746. Oh, shut up!
Copy !req
747. You shut up.
Copy !req
748. No, you. No, you.
Copy !req
749. No, you. Oh, real mature.
Copy !req
750. How could you say that?
Copy !req
751. Oh, what's the point?
Copy !req
752. It's hopeless.
Copy !req
753. Don't give up, Homer.
You are closer than you think.
Copy !req
754. But which way do I go?
Copy !req
755. Much obliged.
Copy !req
756. Ten-hut!
Copy !req
757. Lisa! Knock off that racket.
Copy !req
758. Lisa!
Copy !req
759. They captured my family.
What do I do? What do I do?
Copy !req
760. There's something strange
about that "sop" sign.
Copy !req
761. - Did you hear something?
- Probably just a moth.
Copy !req
762. I hope it's okay.
Copy !req
763. Look, we can't keep stopping at
every "sop,"yeld" or "one vay" sign.
Copy !req
764. Just move on.
Copy !req
765. Let us out! Let us out!
Copy !req
766. Stop that.
You'll scratch your shackles.
Copy !req
767. I hope I do.
Copy !req
768. Oh, way to go, Bart.
Copy !req
769. You stink.
Copy !req
770. No, you stink.
Copy !req
771. Springfield.
Copy !req
772. I can't believe it,
but it got even crappier.
Copy !req
773. Oh, man.
Copy !req
774. Oh, hi, Midge.
Copy !req
775. Moe, what happened?
Copy !req
776. With the town sealed off from the rest of
the world, things got a little nutty here.
Copy !req
777. Why are you dressed like that?
Copy !req
778. Well, I don't like to brag,
but I am now the emperor of Springfield.
Copy !req
779. No, you're not!
Copy !req
780. Yes, I am!
Copy !req
781. Okay. Hail, emperor.
Copy !req
782. Attention, Springfield.
Copy !req
783. Your government realized that putting you
inside this dome was a terrible mistake.
Copy !req
784. Therefore, we're commencing with
Operation Soaring Eagle.
Copy !req
785. Which involves killing you all.
Copy !req
786. As I speak, we're lowering a small
but powerful bomb into your midst.
Copy !req
787. Despite everything, I miss your father.
Copy !req
788. Me too.
Copy !req
789. His big, fat ass could shield us all.
Copy !req
790. Ten-hut!
Copy !req
791. At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites...
Copy !req
792. and I have an urgent note
from the president.
Copy !req
793. It says to release
this town immediately.
Copy !req
794. Why is it written on a leaf?
Copy !req
795. Perfect.
Copy !req
796. Now Homer Simpson's gonna show
he has cojones!
Copy !req
797. Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.
Copy !req
798. Not now, sweetie.
Doomsday is family time.
Copy !req
799. Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill,
the rest of us can climb up that thing.
Copy !req
800. Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind
while we escape with our lives?
Copy !req
801. My time to shine.
Copy !req
802. Hey, Mr. Big TV Man, lookie here!
Copy !req
803. What do you want?
Copy !req
804. Look what I can do with my thumb.
Copy !req
805. You wanna know how I do it?
Copy !req
806. Four generations of inbreeding?
Copy !req
807. I can smell fresh air.
Copy !req
808. I can hear birds.
Copy !req
809. I taste freedom.
Copy !req
810. Excuse me!
Watch out! Coming through!
Copy !req
811. I was tricked by an idiot.
Copy !req
812. Hey, I know how you feel.
I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.
Copy !req
813. Goodbye.
Copy !req
814. Homer do good?
Copy !req
815. Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
Nice knowing you, Homer.
Copy !req
816. But I...
Copy !req
817. I can't do anything right.
Copy !req
818. Get out of here!
Copy !req
819. I've spent my entire life doing nothing
but collecting comic books.
Copy !req
820. And now there's only time to say:
Copy !req
821. Life well spent!
Copy !req
822. Okay, boys. When you meet Jesus,
be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
Copy !req
823. Will Buddha be there too?
Copy !req
824. No.
Copy !req
825. - Hey, Flanders.
- Bart.
Copy !req
826. How good to see you.
And how terrible you're here.
Copy !req
827. Thanks.
Copy !req
828. Listen. I was just wondering if...
Copy !req
829. before I died...
Copy !req
830. I could pretend I had a father who...
Copy !req
831. cared for me.
Copy !req
832. Come here, son.
Copy !req
833. There's always room for one more
in the Flanders clan.
Copy !req
834. Come on, bomb-disarming robot.
You're our last hope.
Copy !req
835. Red wire. Blue wire.
Black is usually the ground.
Copy !req
836. So much pressure.
Copy !req
837. Pressure!
Copy !req
838. He'd been talking about it,
but I didn't take him seriously.
Copy !req
839. Marge.
Copy !req
840. Marge! Marge!
Copy !req
841. Oh, no, the "epipha-tree"!
Copy !req
842. Hey, I tried my best.
What am I supposed to do?
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843. But how am I
supposed to get up there?
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844. Here. Buy yourself something nice.
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845. Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?
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846. Risking my life to save people I hate...
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847. for reasons I don't quite understand.
Gotta go!
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848. But first, one stop.
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849. Bart? Son?
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850. You think you could find it
in your heart...
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851. to give your foolish old man
one more chance?
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852. Oh, I don't know.
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853. It seems to me, son,
that your father's saying that...
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854. he wants to spend
his last minute with you.
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855. No. I can't do it.
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856. I want a father who's the same
in the morning as he is at night.
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857. What's that word?
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858. - Consistency.
- Consistency.
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859. Thanks, losers.
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860. Sorry, Homer.
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861. I'll let you hold the bomb.
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862. The man knows me.
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863. I wish Homer was my father.
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864. And I wish you didn't have
the devil's curly hair.
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865. I've been taking your crap all my life!
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866. This feels good. No wonder you do it.
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867. Okay, you've only got one shot
to throw that bomb through the hole.
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868. Dad, in case I miss...
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869. I'm sorry I said I wished
you weren't my father.
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870. I don't blame you, son.
I wasn't much of a father.
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871. Maybe it starts with the way
my dad raised me.
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872. Yes. It's clear to me. It's just been
one long, unbroken cycle of...
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873. Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
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874. What? What's going on?
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875. We did it, boy!
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876. Dad?
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877. It's amazing no one was hurt.
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878. Bye, everybody.
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879. Now, that was
a great father-son activity.
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880. Hello, Homer.
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881. So we meet at last, whoever you are.
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882. There's two things they don't teach you
at Harvard Business School.
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883. How to cope with defeat,
and how to handle a shotgun.
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884. I'm going to do both right now.
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885. Wait! If you kill my dad...
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886. you'll never know
where the treasure is buried.
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887. What treasure?
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888. The Treasure of Imawiener.
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889. I'm a wiener?
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890. Classic.
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891. Well, always leave them laughing.
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892. Goodbye, sir.
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893. Maggie! What a great little accident
you turned out to be.
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894. Colin? Colin!
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895. Lisa? Colin's dead.
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896. But his last words were:
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897. "Milhouse, take care of Lisa.
Hold her hand."
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898. I got her all warmed up for you.
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899. Colin. Hi.
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900. - Hey, you wanna go...?
- Clean up the lake?
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901. Well, I was gonna say
get some ice cream, but okay.
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902. I like ice cream.
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903. Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
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904. Boy! You survived! How?
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905. I did things no dog should do.
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906. They will haunt me forever.
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907. I love you too.
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908. Best kiss of my life.
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909. Best kiss of your life so far.
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910. Steady.
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911. Steady.
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912. Steady.
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913. Dad?
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914. Thanks, boy.
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915. Steady.
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916. They've taken everything, sir.
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917. Smithers, I don't believe in suicide...
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918. but if you'd like to try it,
it might cheer me up to watch.
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919. This is Tom Hanks, saying:
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920. If you see me in person,
please, leave me be.
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921. Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
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922. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
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923. Can he swing from a web?
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924. No, he can't, he's a pig
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925. Look out!
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926. He is a Spider-Pig
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927. Look out!
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928. He is a Spider-Pig
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929. Come on, Dad, let's go. I've been holding
it since they put the dome over the town.
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930. You can wait. A lot of people
worked really hard on this film...
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931. and all they ask is for you
to memorize their names.
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932. Well, I wanna make sure
no animals were harmed...
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933. during the filming of this movie.
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934. Okay.
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935. Floor popcorn.
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936. Wait, wait, wait! It looks like
Maggie has something to say.
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937. Oh, my God. Her first word.
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938. Sequel?
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939. Springfield doesn't have an anthem
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940. We thought we had one
But we don't
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941. We paid a short guy to write it
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942. But we never saw him again
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943. The tune we stole from the French
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944. There's a few things they do well
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945. Like making love, wine and cheese
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946. Like Roqueforts, Camemberts and Bries
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947. Springfield, we're going to die
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948. Springfield, I'm scared, goodbye
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949. Assistant manager
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
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950. Four years of film school for this?
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