The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

1. Hey, Frank! Let's wrap it up and go home.

2. What do you say?

3. Well, I got another hour's work to do.

4. The kid's gonna stick with me, and then I'll show him the ropes.

5. Okay. You lock up for me before you go?

6. 4th of July weekend, buddy boy. Got to move.

7. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you have a nice 4th,

8. and I'll see you Sunday at the barbecue.

9. You'd better believe it. I'll be there with bells on.

10. Kid, I wanna tell you something, and I mean this sincerely.

11. No matter what happens, don't name it after me.

12. Take it easy, Frank.

13. That Burt's a joker.

14. OK, Freddy, follow me and learn something.

15. Okay.

16. We got an order here from the St. Louis University Medical School.

17. They want two adult female skeletons with perfect teeth.

18. That's a 2-AF-PT.

19. OK? So you come over here to the "A" section.

20. - That's "A" for adult, see? - Okay.

21. Then that's divided up into two sections.

22. That's divided into the "M" for male and the "F" for...

23. - Female. - Good boy.

24. Now the "PT."

25. Suppose you think that's "pretty tough", but no, that's...

26. - Perfect teeth. - Very good.

27. Now you get some excelsior over there and lay it in that crate.

28. Make a nice little beddy-bye for this little lady.

29. Okay.

30. Good work. We want her to be comfortable.

31. Now help me get her in. Grab her legs.

32. Okay.

33. Now you get some of that styrofoam popcorn,

34. spread it all around.

35. Don't be stingy. Uncle Burt's paying for this.

36. More, Freddy, more. OK, that's fine.

37. Now spread it around. That's right.

38. - You're doing very nice work. - Thanks.

39. You're gonna be fine in the warehouse business.

40. Where do we get all these skeletons from?

41. - Oh, they come from India. - India?

42. International treaty. All skeletons come from India.

43. No kidding. How come?

44. How the hell do I know "how come"?

45. The important question is,

46. where do they get all the skeletons with perfect teeth?

47. I'm going to ask you a serious question.

48. How many people you know die

49. with a beautiful, perfect set of choppers in their puss, huh?

50. Nobody I can think of.

51. No. I think that there's a skeleton farm over in India.

52. Jesus!

53. Come on, kid. Follow your uncle here.

54. Here we go.

55. I don't have to tell you what these are for.

56. Ba ba ba boom!

57. Here we've got the prosthetic devices, all around here.

58. Look under there. Wheelchairs.

59. Right. These are great.

60. Here's something you don't see very often.

61. You're a privileged person.

62. These are split dogs. Yep, for veterinarian schools.

63. Oh, we get a lot of orders for split dogs.

64. - That's really rad. - Yeah.

65. Don't fool around, you're learning.

66. Over here, Freddy, is where we keep the fresh cadavers.

67. We sell these to medical schools

68. and to the U.S. Army for ballistic tests.

69. Well, say hello.

70. We usually got more inventory than this,

71. but, ah, we're expecting a shipment on Monday.

72. H-how many bodies are in here usually?

73. Well, you know, you don't want to be overstocked.

74. Kind of like the restaurant business,

75. you don't want your inventory to lose its freshness.

76. Tell you what I'll do, kid.

77. Teach you how to fill out these shipping forms.

78. Look alive.

79. - We gonna party tonight or what? - Yeah, we are gonna party.

80. Well, where? Where we gonna party?

81. - I don't know. Somewhere. - Hey, we could go to the park.

82. Oh, no, we can't. The cops will shoot us if we go back to the park.

83. And I ain't in no mood to die tonight.

84. I like death.

85. I like death with sex. How 'bout you, Casey?

86. - You like sex with death? - Yeah, so fuck off and die.

87. So, when we gonna party tonight, Tina?

88. Oh you guys, that'd be really rad,

89. but I'm supposed to meet Freddy when he gets off work.

90. Yeah, where you supposed to meet him?

91. At this medical supply warehouse where he's working.

92. Oh, no, he got a job? What a dick.

93. Shit, why didn't you say so?

94. Why don't we all go pick Freddy up?

95. Freddy always knows where there's a place to party.

96. Frank?

97. Yeah, kid?

98. What's the weirdest thing you ever saw in here?

99. Oh, kid,

100. I have seen weird things come,

101. and I have seen weird things go.

102. But the weirdest thing I ever saw

103. just had to cap it all.

104. Oh, yeah? What's that?

105. Let me ask you a question, kid.

106. Did you see that movie, Night of the Living Dead?

107. Yeah, yeah, that's the one where the corpses

108. start eating the people, right?

109. Sure. Wh-what about it?

110. Did you know that movie was based on a true case?

111. Come on, you're shitting me, right?

112. I've never been more serious in my life.

113. That's not possible.

114. I mean, they showed zombies taking over the world.

115. They changed it all around. What really happened was

116. back in 1969, in Pittsburgh, at the V.A. hospital,

117. there was a chemical spill

118. and all that stuff

119. kinda leaked down into the morgue

120. and it made all the dead bodies

121. kinda jump around as though it was alive.

122. What chemical?

123. 2-4-5-Trioxin, it's called.

124. It was to kinda spray on marijuana or something.

125. And the Darrow Chemical Company

126. was trying to develop it for the Army.

127. And they told the guy who made the movie

128. that if he told the true story, they'd just sue his ass off.

129. So he changed all the facts around.

130. So what really happened?

131. Well, they closed it all down, see,

132. and the Army shipped all that contaminated dirt

133. and all those dead bodies out.

134. And they kept it a secret. Shh.

135. What...

136. So how come you know about it?

137. A typical Army fuck up.

138. The Transportation Department got the orders crossed,

139. and they shipped those bodies here

140. instead of to the Darrow Chemical Company.

141. Hello?

142. Oh, hi, honey.

143. Uh, no, I'll be home in about an hour.

144. You keep the, uh, pot roast hot, okay?

145. Yeah, sure, I love you, too, honey. Yeah. Kiss, kiss.

146. Wanna see them?

147. - See them? - The corpses.

148. What are you talking about?

149. - They're down in the basement. - No.

150. - Come on. - No way.

151. Hey, mind the third step. It's a bitch.

152. You mean, they just brought those bodies here and left them?

153. Well, you know the Army.

154. And they've been here all this time?

155. 14 years, as I recall.

156. No kidding?

157. There they are.

158. There's bodies in there?

159. Oh, shit. Look at that.

160. - You say that thing was alive? - So they say.

161. Oh, God.

162. - Hey, these things don't leak, do they? - Leak? Hell, no.

163. These things were made by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

164. Oh, fuck!

165. Hello, dear. How was your day?

166. The usual, crap.

167. Oh, I'm sorry.

168. What's for dinner?

169. Your favorite, lamb chops.

170. I had them for lunch.

171. Yes, it's me, checking in from Station 3 at 1600—

172. uh, make that 1601 hours.

173. I'll be home all evening. Right.

174. It's nerve-racking to live around that equipment all the time.

175. They have to be able to reach me 24 hours a day, wherever I am.

176. You know that.

177. All that microwave stuff affects my oven.

178. When we find them, you can have the equipment taken out.

179. But when will you find them?

180. Christ, Ethel, I don't know!

181. Maybe we'll never find them.

182. Look, we've been through all this before.

183. They could be anywhere.

184. Where the fuck we going, anyway?

185. - To party! - To pick up Freddy.

186. Oh, yeah, what the fuck is Freddy up to these days, anyway?

187. - He got himself a job. - Oh, no shit? What job?

188. - He's a stockroom clerk. - Yeah? That sounds like a shitty job.

189. Well, it isn't the President of the United States,

190. but at least he makes money to buy stuff.

191. Oh, yeah, maybe he'll buy something from me?

192. He don't like your kind of stuff, Suicide.

193. How come you guys only come 'round when you need a ride someplace?

194. 'Cause you one spooky motherfucker, Suicide.

195. Oh, you think I'm spooky, huh? What the fuck!

196. Man, what a hideous, ugly place.

197. - I like it. It's a statement. - Come on, let's go get the prick.

198. - No. - Why not?

199. - You might freak out his boss. - Well, that's not nice.

200. Yeah, what does he think we are, weird or something?

201. - What time does Freddy get off? - 10:00.

202. I ain't sittin' here two fuckin' hours.

203. We could always go drive around.

204. I don't got gas. You wanna buy some gas, idiot?

205. I was kidding.

206. We could go fool around in there for a while.

207. You mean that cemetery? Ahh.

208. Oh, let's do that.

209. What do you want to do, Scuz, turn over gravestones?

210. No, I just want to look around the graveyard.

211. I ain't never seen one before.

212. Ain't you never been to a funeral?

213. I never knew nobody that died.

214. I don't think this is such a good idea.

215. - What's that? - Road flares, asswipe.

216. - What do you want those? - I just want to party.

217. What are the road flares for?

218. This place is a mess.

219. This looks like your pad, Scuz.

220. I heard that.

221. Frank?

222. Are you okay, kid?

223. I don't know. I don't— I don't feel so good.

224. Christ, what a stink.

225. What the hell happened to the body?

226. It must have melted when it hit the air.

227. Close the goddamn thing.

228. Christ, I never smelled anything like that before.

229. I think I'm gonna be sick.

230. Listen, I don't guess we'd better tell Burt about this.

231. It makes us look stupid or something.

232. I can still smell that stuff.

233. It must either be in my nose, either that or it's all over everything.

234. Yeah, I'd better spray some deodorant around here.

235. Oh.

236. What was that?

237. - Sounds like a dog. - A dog?

238. Wait a second. Listen. Listen.

239. You hear that?

240. What the hell's going on here?

241. What's wrong with him?

242. Oh, shit!

243. What are we gonna do?

244. We're gonna kill it!

245. What are you doing? Stop!

246. Aah!

247. Oh, Jesus! Jesus!

248. Are we fucked? What's happening?

249. It's the cadaver! The cadaver!

250. - What's it doing in there? - I don't know. It sounds sore!

251. Well, what are we going to do?

252. - Lock it in. - Yeah! Yeah!

253. Oh, Jesus!

254. Hurry! Jesus Christ!

255. We gotta think! We gotta think!

256. Come on, son, get in there!

257. Oh, Jesus Christ!

258. Are we going crazy?

259. No, it's that crap from the tanks.

260. The goddamn chemicals, it's all over everything.

261. Stupid asshole!

262. Watch your tongue, boy, if you like this job.

263. Like this job?

264. - Think! Think! - We gotta call the cops.

265. No, you don't want to call the cops.

266. You know what they'd do to this company?

267. - Who cares about the company? - Well, think of our reputation!

268. Fuck your reputation.

269. Think! Think!

270. What about the number on the side of the tank?

271. The one that said to, "Call in case of an emergency."

272. No, that's the Army.

273. You don't want the goddamn Army around this place.

274. - Think! - Well, what are we gonna do?

275. What are we gonna do? We're gonna call the boss.

276. Burt? Frank.

277. We have a little problem.

278. Do you ever fantasize

279. about being killed?

280. Never.

281. Do you ever wonder

282. about all the different ways of dying,

283. you know, violently

284. and wonder, like,

285. what would be the most horrible way to die?

286. I try not to think about dying too much.

287. Mmm.

288. Well, for me

289. the worst way

290. would be for a bunch of old men

291. to get around me

292. and start biting

293. and eating me alive.

294. I see.

295. First,

296. they would tear off my clothes.

297. Let's get some light over here.

298. Trash is taking off her clothes again.

299. That's right. Throw it, baby.

300. Hey, are you high on anything?

301. You did what?

302. You opened it? You stupid moron.

303. You idiot. What's the matter with you, Frank?

304. Haven't I always told you never to even

305. go near those goddamn tanks?

306. What are we gonna do, Burt?

307. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

308. I'm gonna be sued by the Darrow Chemical Company,

309. I'm gonna be investigated by the government.

310. I might become famous, Frank, I might even lose my business.

311. I might even go to jail, goddamn it.

312. That's what I'm gonna do.

313. On the other hand, we destroy all this evidence around here

314. and we keep our mouths shut.

315. That's it! Let's do that, Burt!

316. Yeah, Frank, you're right. That's what we got to do.

317. One question, Frank.

318. This guy screaming in here, you're sure he's a dead cadaver?

319. Why don't you open the door and find out?

320. I'm sorry, Frank. I'll take your word for that.

321. If it is a reanimated body, we're going— we'll have to kill it.

322. How do you kill something that's already dead?

323. Well, how do I know, Fred? I don't know, let me think.

324. It's not a bad question, Burt.

325. In that movie, they destroyed the brain to kill them.

326. - Is that what they did? - The brain, right. Yeah.

327. What do doctors use to crack skulls with?

328. - Surgical drills. - Here, hold this, Frank.

329. Now listen to me, both of you, very carefully.

330. Freddy, you're gonna open that door.

331. Come here, you stand right over here. Frank, right here.

332. When it comes out, you brain it with that axe.

333. Oh, Jesus!

334. Well, how am I gonna stop it from moaning?

335. What's the matter with you, Frank?

336. Fred, come here. Get down there. Please, stand by the door.

337. It's gonna be all right, son.

338. I don't think I can do this, Burt.

339. Well, you damn well better. You got us into this.

340. Oh, Jesus!

341. All right, Freddy. 22, right.

342. Oh!

343. Be brave, Frank, goddamn it!

344. 4, left.

345. 10, right.

346. Aah!

347. Get him off, Frank!

348. Aah!

349. Coming, Frank.

350. Hold it!

351. Aah!

352. Oh!

353. What the hell's going on, Burt?

354. The brain! The brain!

355. I hit the fucking brain!

356. Then do something else, for goddamn-it-to-hell's sake.

357. Hold him down, Frank.

358. I can't stand this any longer.

359. - Oh, shit! - Hold him down, now, hold him down,

360. What are you gonna do? Oh!

361. Be a man, Frank! Be a man!

362. I can't stand this, you son of a bitch.

363. Hurry up!

364. Oh, God!

365. - I'll get him! - Get him!

366. - I got him. - Get a rope!

367. Where the fuck's a rope?

368. I don't know. Get one. Hold him down!

369. - Are you hanging on? - Got him!

370. Hang on to the son of a bitch!

371. Christ, it ain't dying.

372. I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die!

373. - It worked in the movie. - Well, it ain't working now, Frank.

374. You mean the movie lied?

375. Oh, Jesus.

376. Ah!

377. How are we gonna kill it?

378. Maybe you can't kill it. Maybe it won't die.

379. Then we just got to destroy it completely

380. until there's nothing left.

381. Acid.

382. What kind of acid would dissolve a body?

383. Sulfuric acid, maybe.

384. No, no, aqua regia, that's stronger.

385. But what if it doesn't dissolve everything, like the bones?

386. Shit!

387. What are we gonna do?

388. Burt?

389. Where are you going?

390. Sometimes Ernie Kaltenbrunner works late on Friday nights.

391. Well, who's Ernie Kaltenbrunner?

392. He's the embalmer at the mortuary across the street.

393. What the hell's he gonna do for us?

394. His light's on. He's in.

395. Ernie's got a crematorium across the street, Frank.

396. A crematorium, that's beautiful.

397. You think you can get him to go along with it?

398. I don't know. I've known Ernie about 25 years.

399. He might do it out of friendship. I'm not sure.

400. Yeah, but what the hell are you gonna tell him?

401. I mean, can you trust that bastard?

402. I don't think we have a choice, Frank.

403. How we—how we gonna get this thing over there?

404. Give me the bone saw.

405. Why don't you put your clothes on? The show's over.

406. What's the matter? does it make you nervous?

407. I'm hot.

408. Yeah. You are hot.

409. Scram, wimp.

410. Nobody understands me, you know that?

411. I fuckin' bust my ass for you guys, and what do I get?

412. "You're spooky."

413. Fuck you, man. Fuck you all.

414. I like it spooky.

415. I mean, I got somethin' to say, you know?

416. What do you think this is all about?

417. You think this is a fuckin' costume?

418. This is a way of life!

419. Oh, yes.

420. Hey, what's wrong with you, man?

421. Show some fucking respect for the dead, will ya?

422. - Hey, is that Freddy? - Where?

423. Over there, going in the building.

424. Nope. That is not Freddy.

425. How would you know?

426. Because. Why would Freddy be going into a mortuary?

427. Damn!

428. What do you say, Ernie?

429. Hey, Ernie.

430. Whoa!

431. - Take it easy. - Sorry, I didn't hear you.

432. Fast on the draw.

433. Whew.

434. You are working late tonight.

435. Oh, yeah, yeah. Pretty much. Kind of...

436. What time is it? You want a cup of coffee?

437. Uh, no. No, thank you. I'm all right.

438. I do, and I need it.

439. What, uh, what are— what are you doing there, Ernie?

440. Breaking out the rigor mortis.

441. Oh, yeah?

442. Come here.

443. - Huh? - Come on.

444. You see, rigor mortis starts in the brain.

445. And it spreads down to the internal organs,

446. and it finally settles in the muscles.

447. It, uh,

448. loosens up after a while, but, uh, you can, uh,

449. you can break it out manually, as they say

450. by flexing the muscles. See that?

451. Yeah.

452. You'll not find that in a book, my friend.

453. The embalming business is basically passed on by word of mouth.

454. I'll tell you, that's fascinating, Ernie, that's really something.

455. Well, he's dead now. And I am bushed.

456. Hey, uh, buddy boy. Uh,

457. how long we been friends, Ernie? About how long? About...

458. - 25 years, give or take. - Yeah.

459. Uh, if I ask you a favor, could you keep it quiet?

460. Sure. What is it?

461. Well, I'm gonna need some help, Ernie,

462. in a pretty big way, really.

463. You can depend on me. Why? What's wrong?

464. Uh, I got a couple of my men out here, y-you mind if I let them in?

465. B-Burt, that's illegal.

466. You can bring it on in now, please.

467. Fred, you can put it right over here. Right here.

468. What is that?

469. Right there, please.

470. - Here? - Yeah.

471. I got to...

472. Yeah.

473. What the hell is in those bags?

474. - Rabid weasels. - What?

475. What the hell are you doing with rabid weasels?

476. I was trying to explain it to you. They came as a shipment.

477. 'Course, they weren't supposed to be rabid,

478. you know, but you know how these things happen.

479. No, I don't. How do they happen?

480. Watch out! Watch out, Ernie. Don't get bit.

481. Yeah.

482. Anyway, we got them, and we need your help.

483. How?

484. We got to get rid of these things.

485. Well, why don't you call an animal shelter?

486. Well, word'd get out, hurt my business.

487. You know, that's a bad scene, rabies.

488. I don't think so.

489. I mean, so what? You don't run a pet store.

490. So, some lab animals got rabies.

491. Come on, guys, take them to the pound.

492. Well, I just can't do that.

493. You got to—you got to take my word for it.

494. What the hell do you want me to do?

495. - You have a crematorium, right? - You wanna burn them?

496. Yeah, that's what I had in mind, actually.

497. That's cruel.

498. I can't think of anything else to do.

499. Y-y-you just can't burn animals alive.

500. It's just too hideous.

501. At least let me kill them first.

502. Take 'em out in the parking lot, and put 'em out of their misery.

503. I don't think that'd work, Ernie.

504. I don't‒I don't u-understand what's going on. W-why not?

505. Can you swear to keep a secret, Ernie?

506. At this point, I don't know.

507. No, no, y-you got to swear.

508. You got to, or I just— I can't tell you.

509. All right, I swear.

510. Good.

511. It's not weasels in the bags.

512. No. No kidding. Look here.

513. Oh!

514. Get it off!

515. Get it off! Get it off!

516. Frank!

517. I'm sorry, Ernie.

518. No, it's all right.

519. Ernie, we got a...

520. We got a long story to tell you.

521. Oh, great. Some party.

522. What happened to Trash and Suicide?

523. Probably getting it on somewhere.

524. Don't even think it, Chuck.

525. Oh, God, when's 10:00 gonna come?

526. Hey, if you wanna split, we could both go somewhere.

527. You'd really like to do it with me, wouldn't you?

528. Hey, I mean, a girl like you and a guy like me.

529. Go choke a chicken.

530. Oh, come on, Casey. I was only kidding.

531. Oh, great, here's your friend and mine.

532. Hey, fuck you, ball buster.

533. Hey, my watch stopped. What time is it?

534. Going on 10:00.

535. Oh, fudge. I'd better get over and find Freddy.

536. He's gonna be getting off any time now.

537. OK. Go ahead, we'll wait for you.

538. - Don't go anywhere, okay? - All right.

539. Come on, Freddy, where are you?

540. Frankly, Burt,

541. I think you acted precipitously in cutting up the corpse.

542. Well, you may be right, I don't know, but I did it.

543. So what—what are we gonna do about it, Ernie?

544. If I let you use the crematorium, what's in it for me?

545. What do you want?

546. Well, uh,

547. the way I see it, this is a pretty big favor.

548. Well, Ernie, you got it! Whatever it is you want,

549. so help me, I'll— I'll do it. I promise.

550. I'm sorry about that.

551. All right. Let's take care of your problem.

552. Yes siree,

553. you're gonna owe me a big one.

554. Now buddy-boy, you go get rid of everything for me. Nothing left.

555. - Is that right? - Everything'll go.

556. What about the bones?

557. Bones are no problem.

558. The hardest thing to burn is the heart.

559. The heart? Why?

560. 'Cause it's just one big, tough muscle.

561. Yeah, but Ernie, I mean, come on. We don't—

562. We don't want the heart sticking around.

563. Then I'll turn it up hotter for the heart.

564. And what about the split dogs? They got to go, too.

565. The split dogs will go, too.

566. Come on, just give me a hand. It's your mess.

567. Oh.

568. Some big favor.

569. I can operate that goddamn thing.

570. You're absolutely certain

571. that this will get rid of everything and do the trick?

572. - I mean, nothing left? - Nothing but a little pile of ashes.

573. We don't even want the ashes, Ernie.

574. Well, then I'll turn it up higher, and we'll burn up the ashes, too.

575. Dust to dust.

576. - Oh, my radio. - Come on, you guys.

577. Let's get back to the car. Damn it.

578. Come on.

579. Freddy?

580. Anybody?

581. Get the fuckin' top! Fuck.

582. Get the fuckin' top, man!

583. Come on!

584. Close the motherfuckin' windows.

585. I don't have any windows. I busted them.

586. - Hey, my skin burns. - Me, too. Damn it.

587. It's that rain, it's like acid rain.

588. Start the car!

589. It's all over me. A towel, somebody give me a towel.

590. - We ain't got no towel! - Well, then give me something.

591. - Give me that. - No!

592. Give me something!

593. Come on, start!

594. - Suicide, get the car going. - I'm trying.

595. Oh, crap, I wonder what's in that rain.

596. Look at it.

597. It's coming down like, einen getrunken soldat.

598. - Is the heart gone, Ernie? - It's all burned up.

599. - Are you sure? - Right up the chimney.

600. Goddamn, that's all we need. We're home free, Frank.

601. We got it made. You just saved our ass, buddy boy,

602. and I owe you one. Goddamn!

603. Yes, you do.

604. Alright, let's get back to that warehouse, clean up the mess,

605. and get the hell out of there.

606. What do you say, Frank?

607. Okay, just—just give me a second to rest,

608. catch my breath. Then we'll do it, okay?

609. Frank, I don't know about you, but I'm really sick.

610. Why? What's wrong, Fred?

611. I feel like hell is what's wrong.

612. - I'm really sick. - I'm sick, too, Burt.

613. Sick, like how?

614. I feel like my head's going to bust wide open.

615. And I want to puke.

616. And I'm weak, too.

617. Me, too. I got the chills.

618. It's that stuff, Burt.

619. It's that goddamn stuff we breathed.

620. What stuff? What are you talking about, Frank?

621. When that canister cracked, this gas squirted out.

622. It hit us right in the face.

623. We breathed it.

624. It knocked us out.

625. We were out cold, unconscious for a while.

626. Oh, Christ! Ernie.

627. Shouldn't we get to a doctor or— or something like that?

628. Yeah, Burt, I need a doctor.

629. Man, I'm getting the car

630. and taking these guys to the emergency ward right now.

631. Let's go, Frank. You're gonna be alright.

632. We're gonna get you there.

633. Hey, Frank!

634. Frank!

635. Come here, Ernie.

636. What's the matter? Talk to me. Get him out of the rain.

637. I gotta‒I gotta call my wife. I gotta go to the hospital!

638. You can't run around in this storm. You're too sick.

639. Burt.

640. Take it easy. Take it easy.

641. I'm gonna call an ambulance.

642. Paramedics. Paramedics.

643. It's all right. How do you feel now?

644. Hello. Yes.

645. Uh, can we get some paramedics over here right away?

646. That's the Resurrection Funeral Home

647. at 21702 East Central.

648. Uh, well, tell them to come around the back, to the embalming room.

649. Uh, no, no, um...

650. Poison. We have two men poisoned here.

651. Uh, well, no, we—we don't know what kind of poison.

652. Right.

653. Thank you very much. Bye.

654. Burt, they're on their way.

655. This car ain't going nowhere.

656. - Damn it. - Shh-shh!

657. Do you hear something?

658. Hear what?

659. Something.

660. No, I don't hear nothing.

661. This roof's leaking.

662. - There's a rip, damn it. - Shit.

663. Oh, don't do that!

664. - Shit! - I'm sorry.

665. Shit, Scuz!

666. Hello, there?

667. Freddy?

668. Anybody?

669. Freddy? Are you here?

670. Anybody here?

671. Who's there?

672. Brains!

673. Brains!

674. Hey, I got to get out of here.

675. Let's go to where Tina and Freddy are.

676. - Damn right. - Fuckin' A.

677. Live brain.

678. Come on, quick!

679. God, my skin's really burning.

680. Hey, Tina!

681. Yes! Oh, God! Help me!

682. - That's Tina. - What's she yelling about?

683. - What's that sound? - Through that door!

684. Watch the fuckin' step!

685. Help me!

686. What the fuck?

687. Brains!

688. More brains.

689. Where the fuck you going?

690. Help me bar the door! Stupid fuckers!

691. It's them.

692. Who took the poison?

693. Right over there.

694. Stick your tongue out for me.

695. What did you guys take?

696. It was some kind of industrial chemical,

697. I think, something in a tank.

698. What tank? Where?

699. Well, we—we're not sure, really.

700. Well, can you find out?

701. I mean, your friends' lives may depend on it.

702. Yeah, well, I got to make some phone calls,

703. but I‒I can't do that before morning. I'm sorry.

704. Let's take some vital signs.

705. - Can I borrow your stethoscope? - What's the matter?

706. I can't hear anything through mine.

707. Well, are you sure it's the equipment?

708. What do you mean?

709. Well, I'm not getting anything on this, either.

710. What do you mean? What's wrong?

711. What's wrong?

712. It's all right. We just need to double check a couple things.

713. - No blood pressure. - No pulse.

714. Well, what do you mean, "No blood pressure, no pulse"?

715. Shh. Take it easy. Take it easy.

716. - What do you have? - 70.

717. - 70 what? - 70 degrees.

718. - Well, what's that? - Room temperature.

719. Come over here for a second. I want to talk to you.

720. What are you guys saying?

721. What are you guys saying?

722. What was that thing down there?

723. - What the fuck are we gonna do? - Hey, Suicide's down there.

724. No way man, he's gone. That thing ate his head.

725. Jesus!

726. I don't hear anything down there, do you?

727. Oh, we got to call somebody.

728. - Who? - The cops.

729. I don't wanna call no cop. The cops are just gonna kick our ass.

730. Just let's get out of here, okay?

731. No! We gotta call somebody.

732. Wait a minute, where's Freddy?

733. He was gone, he wasn't here when I showed up.

734. Holy shit. We're gonna have to swim to get over there.

735. What the fuck was that?

736. Look! There!

737. Hey, wait up, you guys! Wait, I got no shoes!

738. No! No!

739. You have no pulse, your blood pressure's zero over zero,

740. you have no pupillary response,

741. no reflexes, your temperature is 70 degrees.

742. W-what does that mean?

743. It's a puzzle, because technically, you're not alive.

744. Except you're conscious, so we don't know what it means.

745. - Are you saying we're dead? - Let's not jump to conclusions.

746. Obviously, I didn't mean you were really dead.

747. Dead people don't move around and talk.

748. - What's the hell's that? - Front door.

749. - What the fuck are they doing? - I'll find out.

750. Listen we're gonna go get a couple of stretchers.

751. Just hang in there. W-we won't be a second.

752. Open the door.

753. Open the door, please.

754. Help!

755. Hey! Open the door!

756. Open the door!

757. Hurry up!

758. Freeze, or you're dead!

759. Don't shoot, man!

760. Are you crazy? Are you on PCP?

761. None of us are on any drugs, man. Just let us in!

762. All right, come in, come in. But no funny moves.

763. Shit, no.

764. You gotta lock all your doors and your windows,

765. and call the cops! They're out there!

766. - What? Who's out there? - Don't you hear that?

767. - What? - Shut up and listen, man!

768. What is it?

769. - It's dead people screaming. - What dead people?

770. They came from out of the ground.

771. And they're after us.

772. Out of the ground?

773. Our friends took off the other way. And they're out there now!

774. Brains!

775. Brains!

776. Brains!

777. Brains!

778. - Trash? Where's Trash? - Didn't she go with them?

779. I thought she was with us.

780. - Hey, do you hear that? - Hear what?

781. Christ, Jesus.

782. What is that?

783. It sounds like people screaming.

784. You get the stretchers, I'll get on the radio and phone this in.

785. Jerry?

786. Brain!

787. Brain! Brain!

788. What? What kind of a problem?

789. Take a look at it.

790. Why, what the hell's going on out here?

791. That graveyard out there's full of people

792. coming out of the ground.

793. Whaddya mean "out of the ground"?

794. Yes, out of the ground.

795. They're horrible, they scream, you've got to do something.

796. Scream—?

797. Yes, mister, they're out there.

798. And there's one of them in that warehouse.

799. - Which— which warehouse? - The medical supply house.

800. Oh, shit! Shit!

801. - And they're— - Goddamn!

802. I-I-I think things are getting out of hand.

803. Mister, there's 100 of those things out there.

804. 100?

805. The cops. We got to call the cops.

806. Yeah. No shit.

807. Phone. Where the fuck is the phone?

808. There! There's an office!

809. Hello, operator, give me the police. This is an emergency.

810. Grab the hammer and nails! Casey!

811. Quiet! Let's just get the hell out of here, Ernie.

812. - You got a car? - I got a car.

813. Get your keys. Let's get out of here.

814. My clutch is shot.

815. We'll use the paramedic ambulance.

816. Freddy! Oh!

817. - Ernie? - Yeah?

818. Where are the paramedics?

819. I'll get them. Get my own car started.

820. Oh, my god, Freddy! What did they do to you?

821. - Oh, God! - What was that shooting?

822. - Oh, God! - What? What, Ernie?

823. God!

824. - Oh, God! - What the hell?

825. It...

826. It!

827. "It"? It what? What is "it"?

828. They're all over the cars.

829. It's horrible. They're out there. They're...

830. Paramedics are dead. And we—we can't take the cars. We— I‒ Burt,

831. we've gotta—we've gotta call the police.

832. Set him down. Set him down.

833. Set him down. Easy.

834. It's not—not—not it's not working.

835. Come on.

836. - What's the matter? - Dead.

837. Brains! Brains!

838. Help me.

839. You got some hammer and nails?

840. Where else can they get in here?

841. The windows in the chapel.

842. Is there anything to bar these windows with?

843. I don't think we have to. I put boards outside the glass.

844. Rescue 7, Rescue 7, come in. This is dispatch. Over.

845. Rescue 7, come in. This is dispatch. Do you copy? Over.

846. Come in, dispatch.

847. Send

848. more

849. paramedics.

850. How many fuckin' windows you got in this place?

851. No more windows.

852. The embalming room has steel shutters.

853. Well, let's get the hell back to the embalming room then. Come on.

854. Man, my arms are dead.

855. Put that goddamn thing down, Ernie,

856. before you hurt somebody with it.

857. - How they doing? - Buddy, are you all right?

858. - It hurts. - What did you do to Freddy?

859. What's wrong with him? And this man?

860. I think it's time you tell us what the fuck's going on.

861. I don't have to tell you anything, dick brain.

862. We think you should.

863. Tell them, goddamn it!

864. Tell us!

865. There was a chemical.

866. It was some chemical that soaked into the soil

867. of the graveyard and made the corpses come back to life.

868. Yeah? What fucking chemical?

869. I don't know what chemical, goddamn it!

870. It was ordered by the military, I think. I think it was.

871. Would you tell me me how the fuck did it get all over the graveyard?

872. I don't know. I just...

873. All I know is that it was stored

874. over at the medical supply warehouse

875. where you were, and these two geniuses

876. managed to open the goddamn container

877. and let the son of a bitch out. Let 'em out!

878. Is that why Freddy's sick?

879. I breathed it, Tina.

880. So did—so did Frank there.

881. What did it do to you, Freddy?

882. I'm freezing.

883. My muscles are stiffening up.

884. Stiffening up?

885. Stiffening up how, Freddy?

886. First, I got a really fucked headache.

887. Then—then my—my stomach started cramping—cramping up.

888. Now my arms and legs are cramping.

889. Let's take a look. Let's take a look.

890. Oh, God!

891. Let's get his shirt up, huh?

892. What are you doing, Ernie?

893. Oh, God.

894. Uh, the bruises where he's lying down,

895. uh,

896. that's blood pooling up.

897. Easy. Easy. Easy!

898. Okay.

899. You know, it looks like

900. rigor mortis is setting in.

901. Rigor mortis? What do you mean, rigor mortis?

902. Hey, God, you're dead.

903. You're dead, and you're gonna turn into one of those things out there!

904. No!

905. - No! - No!

906. - Let him go! - Son of a bitch!

907. Shut— Just shush!

908. Do you hear that?

909. What is that?

910. It's another paramedic ambulance.

911. Watch out! Watch out!

912. Hey! Don't go over there!

913. Brains!

914. God damn!

915. Fuck. They're gonna kill everybody that comes here.

916. Watch out, I'm going to put the board back up.

917. It's got me!

918. Get this thing out of here!

919. Pull her off! Pull her off!

920. Christ.

921. Damn, he's dead. Shit. Shit.

922. What do we do with this thing?

923. What do we do with this?

924. Just—just wait there a second.

925. Let's get out of here.

926. Where the fuck is he going?

927. Ernie, what are you doing?

928. Hey!

929. Let me take it! Let me take it!

930. You can let go of it now.

931. Are you crazy?

932. Look at it. She looks better now.

933. Better.

934. We got to get out of here, Ernie.

935. Ernie, we got to get the fuck out of here.

936. Leave it.

937. What are you doing? Goddamn it, Ernie!

938. I don't understand what you want with it, Ernie.

939. - What are we doing with it? - I want to examine it.

940. You make sure it's tied right.

941. It's being tied right.

942. I mean, it's not gonna get loose, right?

943. No, it's not gonna get loose.

944. They're no stronger than humans.

945. Don't be afraid.

946. I'll bust it in the damn head.

947. Now, you sure that thing's tied good?

948. - You can hear me? - Yes.

949. Why do you eat people?

950. Not people, brains.

951. Brains only?

952. Yes.

953. Why?

954. The pain.

955. What about the pain?

956. The pain of being dead.

957. It hurts to be dead.

958. I can feel myself rot.

959. Eating brains

960. how does that make you feel?

961. It makes the pain go away.

962. Hey, look, man, fuck this.

963. I got to talk to you. Now.

964. Come on, I got to talk. We got to talk.

965. No, let's talk out in the hall.

966. Look, how can we kill those things?

967. You don't.

968. What the fuck do you mean, "you don't"?

969. You can't kill those mothers, they're already dead.

970. You've gotta understand they're not living creatures, they're animated.

971. You can chop them up into pieces, the pieces will still come after you.

972. All you can do is just burn them.

973. You got to totally reduce them to ashes,

974. so there's nothing left to come after you.

975. How you gonna burn all those things?

976. Man, there's 100 of those fuckers.

977. Yeah, that is the question.

978. We have a 10-32 from EMS.

979. Two, repeat, two paramedic vehicles

980. missing in the East Piedmont district.

981. Request a 10-51, code 3.

982. Available units near the 20,000 block

983. of East Central, please respond, over.

984. Do you think they'll rescue us?

985. They better, man. That's all I got to say.

986. Oh, God, please.

987. But do you think they will?

988. Chuck?

989. I never did like you.

990. Oh, my God, hold me tight.

991. Look, I think it'd be a lot wiser

992. if we, say, contained Frank and Freddy.

993. You know what I'm saying?

994. No, what do you mean, "contained"?

995. What I mean is lock them in a room, so if they started

996. acting funny, they wouldn't hurt anybody.

997. They don't want to hurt anybody.

998. You bastard! Why don't you lock yourselves up?

999. Look, lady, we're not proposing doing anything to them, for Christ's sake.

1000. We just want to lock them in another room so we can figure out

1001. how to get the hell out of here. Alright?

1002. Tina, that really is a good idea.

1003. Where can we put them, Ernie?

1004. Uh, yeah, well, uh, the chapel.

1005. All right, help me with Frank, please.

1006. - Lift his feet. - Come on.

1007. On the rug.

1008. Lay them on the carpet, gently.

1009. Easy.

1010. Easy, Frank. It's all right. Can you hear me, Frank?

1011. Oh, boy, he's gone.

1012. Oh, Freddy.

1013. Look, let's just leave them and get out.

1014. I'm not leaving Freddy.

1015. We got to lock the door, you know that?

1016. I'm staying.

1017. Okay. Come on.

1018. Come on, Ernie.

1019. Dispatch, dispatch. This is bravo 751.

1020. We're at the mortuary.

1021. We see two, that is two,

1022. paramedic vehicles parked in the rear parking lot.

1023. The doors on one vehicle are hanging open.

1024. Stand by while we investigate. Over.

1025. I got a man down.

1026. Ah, Jesus!

1027. Hold it right there!

1028. Freeze or I'll blow your fucking brains out!

1029. This place...

1030. Everybody that comes in gets swallowed up.

1031. Send more cops.

1032. Well, what are we gonna do? Stand here, beating our meat till

1033. the corpses bust in this damn place?

1034. There ain't no way to stop those things. We gotta get the fuck out.

1035. We got to get to the cars.

1036. There's corpses all over the cars.

1037. - I know that. - What are you proposing?

1038. What am I proposing? I think we all should do some damn proposing.

1039. The crawlspace in the ceiling.

1040. We could go up, barricade ourselves in.

1041. The only way up is the hatch, and we could nail that shut.

1042. You must be out of your fuckin' mind.

1043. I'm not barricading myself in no damn roof.

1044. Shit, I'd rather take my chances with the cars.

1045. We need a way to fight them.

1046. How about this?

1047. What is that?

1048. It's nitric acid. Pretty much destroy anything.

1049. Yeah, but there's not— not enough of it, Ernie.

1050. It hurts!

1051. It hurts more than you can imagine.

1052. I know.

1053. Freddy!

1054. I can finally see

1055. the one thing

1056. the one thing that can relieve this horrible suffering.

1057. What, Freddy? What?

1058. Live brains!

1059. Let's go.

1060. Get the girl!

1061. Run!

1062. Put her on the couch.

1063. They got Freddy.

1064. It was horrible, ugly, man.

1065. His face was all fucked up.

1066. His face—

1067. He's not Freddy.

1068. Brains. Brains. Brains.

1069. Make her shut up. Make her shut up!

1070. Brains.

1071. Brains. Brains. Brains.

1072. Shit, he's trying to get out.

1073. Get a bench, come on.

1074. Ernie!

1075. Ernie, out of the way!

1076. Bring it against it. It's all right.

1077. I can't.

1078. Yes, you can. Get up!

1079. We can't stay here, man. It's gonna bust through that door.

1080. We got to run for the cars.

1081. There's zombies all over the cars outside.

1082. Got to fight our way through them, there's no other way.

1083. Once we're in the car and moving, I think we'll be all right.

1084. That's a big fucking "if," man.

1085. I can't walk, much less run.

1086. How bad is your foot, Ernie?

1087. Broke.

1088. Spider and I'll get one of the cars, we'll bring it up near the door.

1089. Police car. It should still have the keys in the ignition.

1090. Son of a bitch. The motor is still running.

1091. Good. I'll drive.

1092. - No, I'll drive. - Hey, fuck you.

1093. When we drive up, I don't want to hang out there longer than necessary.

1094. Young lady, you stand right here. Put one hand here, one hand here.

1095. When I say "now," you open that door fast.

1096. The minute we're through, you slam that door hard and lock it.

1097. Ernie,

1098. get your ass over here at the door.

1099. Burt...

1100. That favor that you owe me. Watch your ass out there.

1101. All right, you stand by.

1102. Now!

1103. Run! Run!

1104. Get 'em!

1105. You got to get closer, man. They'll never make it like this.

1106. We got to split. We got to split.

1107. No, we can't split.

1108. They left us, those jerks!

1109. They left us!

1110. They had to.

1111. Burt will send help.

1112. I know him.

1113. They left us.

1114. What are you doing? We can't just leave 'em!

1115. They'd have turned the goddamn car over.

1116. We'll send help.

1117. Bullshit! Those are my fucking friends.

1118. I said we'll send help, man.

1119. - Coward! - Fuck you!

1120. Hang on, here we go!

1121. What the fuck are we gonna do now?

1122. Find a phone, call the cops.

1123. What the fuck?

1124. Jesus H. Christ!

1125. Shit!

1126. Back to the warehouse!

1127. Shit!

1128. This way, you stupid honky!

1129. That's Spider.

1130. Shit! Hey, Spider!

1131. Hey, hey! Where is everybody?

1132. I don't know.

1133. - Who's he? - He owns this place.

1134. That fucking car is totaled, man.

1135. That's all right. My car is still out there. So is Frank's.

1136. Not anymore.

1137. Tina!

1138. Tina!

1139. Tina, where are you?

1140. Forgive me.

1141. - Brains! - Cops! Get 'em!

1142. Ground, this is air 3, we got a bad situation.

1143. We've got officers down.

1144. We have just witnessed ground units attacked. Repeat, attacked.

1145. Helicopter!

1146. Attention. Attention. This is the police.

1147. This area is under police blockade.

1148. All persons within this area

1149. wishing to surrender should make their way

1150. to the perimeter at once.

1151. Jesus.

1152. It sounds like the shit's really hitting the fan out there.

1153. Man, we got to let them know we're in here.

1154. You better believe it.

1155. Hey, mister!

1156. Don't go in there.

1157. There's a thing in there, and it ripped out the phone.

1158. There's another phone in the basement.

1159. The basement's fucked! You know what's in the basement?

1160. - What do you mean? - One of those corpses, man.

1161. A real ugly one, all black and slimy.

1162. I don't give a shit what's in the basement, we got to get to that phone.

1163. Blinding them seems to work okay, doesn't it?

1164. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

1165. Spider, open the door.

1166. I'm going to knock his goddamn block off.

1167. Tina, it was wrong for you to lock me up.

1168. I had to hurt myself to get out.

1169. But I forgive you, darling.

1170. And I know you're here,

1171. because I can smell your brains.

1172. Go away!

1173. I'm coming up, Tina.

1174. Freddy!

1175. Freddy!

1176. See?

1177. And now you made me hurt myself again.

1178. You made me break my hand completely off this time, Tina.

1179. But I don't care, darling,

1180. because I love you.

1181. And you've got to let me eat your brain.

1182. Open the goddamn door.

1183. Brains!

1184. Get him down.

1185. All right, you guys, go. Get in there, come on, fast. Get in!

1186. Watch it, the step's out.

1187. Jesus Christ.

1188. That's our friend. The Tarman got him.

1189. Yeah. Give me the police.

1190. It's an emergency, operator.

1191. Captain, over here.

1192. Two more cars around the side.

1193. Yes, go ahead.

1194. Yeah, you've got to help us.

1195. There's a bunch of us trapped inside your barricade, and we can't get out.

1196. First of all, mister, what the hell is going on in there?

1197. I lost a dozen good men, and nobody can tell me jack shit.

1198. There are people in the cemetery

1199. who are stark, staring mad.

1200. They'll kill you and eat you.

1201. It's like a disease, like rabies, only faster. A lot faster.

1202. That's why you got to come in here now

1203. and get us the hell out of here. Please!

1204. Just a minute, I can't hear you. There's a lot of noise out here.

1205. Hey, what the hell's going on?

1206. Halt! I said halt!

1207. - Watch it. - They're crazy!

1208. Oh, shit!

1209. - No! - Fuckers!

1210. - What? - What is it?

1211. Cops. They've got the cops.

1212. That means they're breaking out of the barricade.

1213. Jesus Christ.

1214. What's he doing?

1215. What are you doing?

1216. Shh.

1217. Hello?

1218. Yeah, I'm calling the number stenciled on the side of the tank.

1219. Your name, please?

1220. Burt Wilson.

1221. Stay on the line, Mr. Wilson. You're being transferred.

1222. This is Com-Q, Denver, go ahead.

1223. Denver, this is Wichita. I've got a C-L-Y priority on a 1-1-3. Who's up?

1224. That would be Col. Glover, San Diego. I'll put you through.

1225. Yes?

1226. Yes, Captain.

1227. - I see. Very well. - Horace.

1228. - Put the call through to me. - What is it?

1229. Yes, yes, put him on.

1230. Mr. Wilson, where are you calling from?

1231. I see. When did this take place?

1232. And when was the tank first breached?

1233. Why didn't you call this number immediately?

1234. I see. It's understandable. Wh-what happened next?

1235. Uh-huh.

1236. Oh, you did? And what effect did that have?

1237. I see.

1238. So, uh, what did you do then?

1239. And what did they do?

1240. I see.

1241. Really? How many did you say?

1242. And how many acres does this cemetery cover, sir?

1243. Yes.

1244. I see.

1245. I see.

1246. Yes, I see. Of course.

1247. Uh, thank you for your assistance, Mr. Wilson.

1248. I'm going to switch you back to Captain Turner now. He'll talk to you.

1249. Sir, this is Col. Glover.

1250. I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, but we're at Q-2 status.

1251. It looks like we've found that lost consignment of Easter eggs.

1252. Yes, sir, pretty sure.

1253. They've turned up in Louisville.

1254. I'm getting confirmations on this from the Louisville Police Department.

1255. Louisville, Kentucky, sir.

1256. Well, sir, it would be good news,

1257. except that the eggs have hatched.

1258. What are they doing, man?

1259. Hang on a second, would you?

1260. I dunno. It's weird. These people seem to say

1261. th-they've been waiting for this to happen.

1262. Apparently, they've got some sort of

1263. contingency plan to deal with it.

1264. Well, that's great!

1265. What is this plan?

1266. Sgt. Jefferson, 42nd Special Mobile Artillery. Yes, sir.

1267. Good morning to you, too, sir.

1268. Yes, sir. All right, sir.

1269. Whatever you say, sir. The code numbers please, sir.

1270. Archimedes. Hotdog. Rhubarb.

1271. Niner. Zero. Niner. Gotcha, sir.

1272. Bearing. Mark 2-2-0.

1273. Bearing, 2-2-0.

1274. Range. Mark 134 miles.

1275. Range, 1-3-4 miles.

1276. Hey, listen.

1277. You hear anything?

1278. Tina-a-a-a.

1279. Spectacular result, sir.

1280. Very close to optimal placement.

1281. Well, sir, only 20 square blocks destroyed.

1282. Less than 4,000 dead, General.

1283. I wouldn't worry about the fires, General.

1284. The rain is taking care of that right now.

1285. Well, there have been complaints about burning skin,

1286. but I shouldn't worry.

1287. Minor irritation, General.

1288. The rain will wash everything away.

1289. That's correct, sir. All should be back to normal by morning.

1290. Yes, sir, I understand the President

1291. will visit Louisville tomorrow.

1292. No, no, we wouldn't want that to happen, sir.

1293. No, sir, this hasn't been very pleasant for anyone.

1294. Thank you, sir. Goodnight, sir.

1295. More brains!

1296. - What are we gonna do? - We're gonna kill it!

1297. It's all over everything.

1298. Stupid asshole!

1299. Watch your tongue, if you like this job.

1300. Like this job?

1301. Burt? Frank.

1302. We have a little problem.

1303. Ahh!

1304. Do you ever fantasize

1305. about being killed?

1306. Yeah!

1307. The brain! The brain!

1308. I hit the fucking brain.

1309. How do you kill something that's already dead?

1310. Well, how do I know, Fred? I don't know, let me think.

1311. It's not a bad question, Burt.

1312. What do you think this is about?

1313. You think this is a fuckin' costume? This is a way of life!

1314. Man, there's 100 of those fuckers.

1315. 100?

1316. Brains!

1317. Send more cops.

1318. Goddamn!

1319. I-I-I think things are getting out of hand.

1320. Oh!

1321. Get it off! Get it off!

1322. It worked in the movie.

1323. Well, it ain't working now.

1324. You mean the movie lied?

1325. It's not a bad question, Burt.