1. Downloaded from
YTS.MXCopy !req
2. Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MXCopy !req
3. Hi. I'm Doug Stauber.Copy !req
4. I'm an assistant manager
at Donaldson's Grocery,Copy !req
5. where customers come first...
even customers who are nuts.Copy !req
6. - Mr. Stauber.
- Can I help you?Copy !req
7. This guy had some complaint
about the cracker Teddy Grahams,Copy !req
8. a honey graham snack.Copy !req
9. Okay.
He spoke some other
kind of language.Copy !req
10. "Lerhman torsh."Copy !req
11. That's not Spanish, bro.
I don't know
what that is.Copy !req
12. Okay, "Lerhman."
Let's go. Sorry.Copy !req
13. Oh, no.Copy !req
14. Lerhman, man,
I don't know, Lerhman.
I don't...Copy !req
15. Holy shit!Copy !req
16. the assistant manager
deals with customer complaints.Copy !req
17. What the hell?Copy !req
18. It's my job
to keep a lid on this place.Copy !req
19. It's kind of hard.
I mean, it's not like
I have a crack staff.Copy !req
20. Outside, we have a gang problem.
And we have two 14-year-old
security guards...Copy !req
21. who stand as far away
from the store
as they possibly can.Copy !req
22. And at the end of the day,
I get reviews from customers...Copy !req
23. whose feedback
is important to us.Copy !req
24. I returned
to the lot from the grocery
and found three black guys...Copy !req
25. sitting on my car
eating snacks.Copy !req
26. They finally left,
but called me names
and words like "tasty"...Copy !req
27. and "lick" and "titties."Copy !req
28. I have to turn these cards over
to our actual manager...Copy !req
29. who's usually on his way back
from a movie.Copy !req
30. What's up?
Hey.Copy !req
31. New cards?
Yeah.Copy !req
32. Good ones?Copy !req
33. That's good.
"Lick."Titties."Copy !req
34. I'm gonna take off.Copy !req
35. So my job has challenges.Copy !req
36. So I'm not smiling here
because I'm actually happy.Copy !req
37. I'm smiling because
I'm pretty sure my manager...Copy !req
38. who probably is actually
happy... expected me to,Copy !req
39. and I want to advance
and have a good career.Copy !req
40. I'm supporting the orbital bone
with my right hand,Copy !req
41. and the other hand is right
in her chest cavity, you know?Copy !req
42. I'm manually massaging
her heart now. I thought
she was going to die.Copy !req
43. - How'd you get her back?
- Instinct.Copy !req
44. Hey, Jen.
Hey, Doug.
You remember Mark Timms.Copy !req
45. Yeah. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
46. We were just talking
about how Mark saved
a two-year-old girl's life.Copy !req
47. Good job.Copy !req
48. Oh. Tell Mark about
"Teddy Grahams."
That's all right.Copy !req
49. It's hilarious.
What?Copy !req
50. - This Teddy Grahams
"snack slap" thing.
- Oh, snack slap?Copy !req
51. - He got in
this little slap fight.
- What happened? Tell me.Copy !req
52. Tell him.
That's ok... No.Copy !req
53. No, come on, man.
I want to know.
Come on, guy.Copy !req
54. And I'm asked
to share my graham cracker slap
stories with my wife's boss...Copy !req
55. who never
remembers my name.
All right.Copy !req
56. And my name's on my shirt.
Right side.Copy !req
57. Just the first name though.
I tried to put "Mr. Stauber"
on it, but I got reprimanded.Copy !req
58. Big deal.
He saved an infant.
That's great.Copy !req
59. If I had infant-saving training,
I could probably do it.
Okay.Copy !req
60. Some days, I didn't think
anyone would call me "mister."Copy !req
61. I'd just be "Doug"...
for good.Copy !req
62. You're a shoo-in, dude.Copy !req
63. Seriously?
Seriously.Copy !req
64. Hey, do you know
where the expression
"shoo-in" comes from?Copy !req
65. No.Copy !req
66. The Romans used to...Copy !req
67. I'm the shoo-in...
the leading shoo-in.
Totally.Copy !req
68. Oh, you're
the leading shoo-in.
Yeah, totally.Copy !req
69. Come here, you sweaty bastard.
You sweaty shoo-in.Copy !req
70. I'm really sweaty.
I don't care.
Come here.Copy !req
71. Oh, Jesus!
You stink.Copy !req
72. I'll take a shower.
It's okay.Copy !req
73. - Hey, guy, can you just
give us a break? One night?Copy !req
74. My partner's coming over.Copy !req
75. - I'm supposed to have
this piece prepared.
- Man, we're trying to...Copy !req
76. have dinner.Copy !req
77. I thought you were
makin' out. "All sweaty."Copy !req
78. Compromise.
I'll do scales.Copy !req
79. Is it still
for sale?
Yeah.Copy !req
80. We should go get
that house. This week.Copy !req
81. Because I'm gonna
get that job, and I feel
really good about things.Copy !req
82. Me too.
Maybe we should wait though.Copy !req
83. I'm a shoo-in. And someone's
gonna snag that house.
Let's do it.Copy !req
84. Shoo-in?
Yeah.Copy !req
85. All right.
Let's do it.Copy !req
86. It was right there,
what we worked for.Copy !req
87. Then this guy
comes down from Canada.Copy !req
88. That's for
blue stock only.
Okay.Copy !req
89. That gets logged in
right away.
Blue stock.Copy !req
90. And if it's before
8:15 in the morning,
you've got to do it.Copy !req
91. Move it over right up there
to that first pallet.
Right.Copy !req
92. This way, as soon as it
goes back, it's rotated
back to the first...Copy !req
93. We just moved.
My wife was transferred,
so now I'm here.Copy !req
94. Richard Wehlner,
from Quebec.Copy !req
95. And that's pretty much
where it all started...Copy !req
96. some joker blowing down
from Canada...Copy !req
97. from a sister company
I didn't even know we had.Copy !req
98. Nice location.Copy !req
99. Yeah.Copy !req
100. It's a Plus?
What's that?Copy !req
101. It's gonna be full size?
Full size.Copy !req
102. This place will draw too.
There's not another grocery
till Western.Copy !req
103. I'm gonna put in for it,
full manager.Copy !req
104. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
105. - So, okay.
See you later.
- Yep. See you later.Copy !req
106. Eh, gimme five.Copy !req
107. Erickson's is
our sister company.Copy !req
108. Okay.Copy !req
109. Yeah, they're all over Canada.
Wehlner's got, like,
six years in up there.Copy !req
110. But I'm still
the shoo-in, right?Copy !req
111. I don't know.
Wehlner's kind
of a wild card.Copy !req
112. His work history
transfers clean, so...Copy !req
113. I don't know about
this shoo-in business.Copy !req
114. So there's a microchip
on the right anterior wheel
that has a sensor in it,Copy !req
115. and if it detects
an obstacle, it will engage
the self-braking mechanism.Copy !req
116. So no more scratched door
small claims, right?Copy !req
117. All right, here we go.Copy !req
118. I had to tell her
I wasn't a shoo-in...Copy !req
119. and that maybe the house
was out for now.
Whoa!Copy !req
120. That's no way
to play the banjo.Copy !req
121. I'm doing the best I can.
No, you're not.
Because you don't love me.Copy !req
122. I love you intensely.
Then show me...Copy !req
123. by playing
better banjo.
Okay.Copy !req
124. Then show me...
sexually.Copy !req
125. Dream or real?Copy !req
126. Real.Copy !req
127. Chapter Two.Copy !req
128. We'll learn the importance
of recognizing opportunities...Copy !req
129. to stand out at work
and to steer clear of trouble.Copy !req
130. We'll also learn that success
does not come to the timid...Copy !req
131. but to those like...Copy !req
132. who go out and
make things happen.Copy !req
133. It's nice when you bring your
daughter's Brownie troupe...Copy !req
134. in for cupcakes
and they learn the word "cock."Copy !req
135. - Thanks, Donaldson's.
- Fuck.Copy !req
136. Hey.
Any good?
No.Copy !req
137. Well, what's the problem?
We'll work on it as a team.
The box is on the lot.Copy !req
138. The lot's so fuckin' nuts.
Well, what's so f'ing
nuts about it?Copy !req
139. It's just crazy.
Lot detail means bad cards.
Oh.Copy !req
140. Scott, why is the board here?Copy !req
141. Oh, they wanna run stock for
the new Plus store in Augusta.
They want a stock list.Copy !req
142. Great.
I'm eager to meet them.Copy !req
143. I'm eager to...
too.Copy !req
144. from Donaldson's,
the champion of excellence.Copy !req
145. Whether it's
Monday morning muffins
or a pie for Sunday's supper...Copy !req
146. Hey. Those cutters
are still out there.Copy !req
147. Well, I'm on stacking.
Yeah, well, I'd go,
but I gotta get my car washed.Copy !req
148. Well, who's on lot?
Richard.Copy !req
149. Ask Richard.
Yeah, h-he's with Kev
from Pepsi.Copy !req
150. They're putting
a new product up.
He asked for Richard.Copy !req
151. He asked for him?
Yeah.Copy !req
152. Been working together
last couple of weeks.
They got friendly, so...Copy !req
153. Can you get out there?
Just, uh...Copy !req
154. Listen, I have bad cards
stacking up from the lot.
The board's here.Copy !req
155. I'll get you inside
tomorrow.Copy !req
156. from Donaldson's,
the champion of excellence.Copy !req
157. Donaldson's is committed to
offering the widestCopy !req
158. selection...Copy !req
159. You can pretty much
do what you want.
Anything?Copy !req
160. Yeah, man. That wasn't
what I meant. Come on.Copy !req
161. No, seriously.
If you want this whole section,Copy !req
162. it's Pepsi's world, right?Copy !req
163. Um, no, we got a lot of room.
I mean, if you need
to expand a little bit,Copy !req
164. if you need more,
I can...Copy !req
165. She got a fat pussy too.
I'm talkin' about a fuckin'
milk truck pussy, nigga.Copy !req
166. - Hey, guys.
- Yo, and a big-ass house made
from a chub pussy and her ass?Copy !req
167. It's, like, damn!Copy !req
168. You gotta walk around.
Uh, no cut-throughs.Copy !req
169. Whatever the fuck.Copy !req
170. - Hey, you can't
cut through, dawg.
- Ah, fuck you, whopper.Copy !req
171. - What the fuck you callin' me
"whopper."
- Whoa! Cool down.Copy !req
172. I bought a Charleston Chew.
Man, fuck you. Ask him.Copy !req
173. - Well, where is it?
- I ate it. Ain't I buy
a Charleston Chew, asshole?Copy !req
174. Your name's Stauber, right?
Doug?Copy !req
175. Yep.Copy !req
176. Did he buy
a Charleston Chew?
Like, at 2:00.Copy !req
177. Did he buy a Charleston Chew
this afternoon?
Come on, Stauber.Copy !req
178. Yeah.
All right.Copy !req
179. - Then he's a customer, Stauber.
- I'm a customer every day
buyin' Chews.Copy !req
180. Welcome, all you guys.Copy !req
181. You played this
the wrong way, Stauber.Copy !req
182. - What the frig are you doing?Copy !req
183. Here's how we're gonna fix this.
Come on.Copy !req
184. Go.Copy !req
185. Excuse me, young sir?Copy !req
186. I want to offer you...Copy !req
187. I'd like to offer you
a complimentary
strawberry Charleston Chew.Copy !req
188. I indicated the flavor:
strawberry.Copy !req
189. Thanks, strawberry faggot.Copy !req
190. I'm little Mr. Strawberries.Copy !req
191. And I was supposed
to be inside that day,
not comping the Chews.Copy !req
192. Kev, I think you're all set.
I'm gonna give you the end cap,
and... It was good to see you.Copy !req
193. It's great to see you.
I'm proud of you.
You too, man.Copy !req
194. Um, like I said, if you need
more space on the shelves,Copy !req
195. I can always squeeze
Green River a little bit.Copy !req
196. Hey, uh, were you
a male gymnastics?Copy !req
197. Was I a male gymnastics?Copy !req
198. Were you a male gymnastics
in the Junior Olympics?
Ruiz Googled you.Copy !req
199. He says you were
a male gymnastic
in Junior Olympics.Copy !req
200. No. I wasn't...
male gymnastics
in Junior Olympics.Copy !req
201. Octavio...
Come on, man.Copy !req
202. It's a joke,
for morale purposes.Copy !req
203. Wehlner didn't say nothing.
He's inside today.Copy !req
204. You're lot.Copy !req
205. We should eat. You guys want
something from the rotisserie?Copy !req
206. Let's snag somethin'
from Deli.Copy !req
207. You're gonna love
this deli.Copy !req
208. Their selection
is out of this world.Copy !req
209. We're gonna place
four lunch orders.Copy !req
210. He stole my Pepsi rep detail.Copy !req
211. No matter how you slice it,
that's a dick move.Copy !req
212. You deal with the poster.
Dick move, man. Deal.Copy !req
213. Rotating convention,
full benefits,Copy !req
214. 69,000,
a spot on the board.Copy !req
215. That's great.Copy !req
216. It is.
Hey, Doug.
Doug Stauber!Copy !req
217. Hey.
It's my wife, Lori.Copy !req
218. I was just tellin' her
about this new place.Copy !req
219. Hey, come on over
and meet Christine Wehlner.Copy !req
220. Hey.
Hi, I'm Jen.Copy !req
221. Lori.
Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
222. Hi. Doug.
What kind of accent is that?
It's really pretty.Copy !req
223. Scotland.
We met on a mission
to Scotland.Copy !req
224. - On an army mission?
- Christian, man.
Christian mission.Copy !req
225. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
226. Man, when
I cheese postered him, I didn't
know he was a family man.Copy !req
227. Also, he's Canadian.
They're not the same
as Americans. They're nicer.Copy !req
228. Oh. Hey, Paul.
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you.Copy !req
229. Good to see you too.
It's been a while.
You're lookin' great.Copy !req
230. Thank you very much.
Hot enough for ya?Copy !req
231. I like it like this.
Opens up the pores,
makes me feel really good.Copy !req
232. Listen, I gotta run,
but you're lookin' great.
Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
233. See you later.
You too. Say hello
to the wife.Copy !req
234. He was nice.
And he actually had a pretty
good little explanation...Copy !req
235. for stealing
my Pepsi rep, Kevin.Copy !req
236. So, yeah, I'm glad I saw ya,Copy !req
237. 'cause I w-wanted to talk
to you off to the side
about Kev.Copy !req
238. Pepsi rep Kev?
Yeah, about that stuff.
Yeah.Copy !req
239. Uh, when we were
puttin' up the Jazz?Copy !req
240. I wanted to tell you...Copy !req
241. you know,
off to the side... um,Copy !req
242. I'm a drug addict...
recovering...
and an alcoholic.Copy !req
243. And, uh, Kevin's
my program sponsor.Copy !req
244. Yeah, um, sponsor.Copy !req
245. Yeah. So, Wednesday,
I was havin' a...Copy !req
246. Well, I just really
needed to talk to him.Copy !req
247. So I'm sorry if...
I didn't mean to...
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
248. Come on.
Okay. Thanks, Doug.
That's awesome.Copy !req
249. Oh, hey.
No, I got it.Copy !req
250. It's okay.
I got it, Doug.
Get outta here.Copy !req
251. Get on outta here.Copy !req
252. Who else is interviewing anyway?Copy !req
253. It's really mine,
as the shoo-in.Copy !req
254. But, uh, I think they're going
to sit down with a couple
of other guys as a formality.Copy !req
255. They don't stand
a chance really.Copy !req
256. Not with you in this suit,
they don't.Copy !req
257. Is that guy still standing
on his balcony staring at us?
Yeah.Copy !req
258. That's nice.Copy !req
259. Hey, do you mind if I listen
on my headphones? 'Cause
Canadian news is on at 1:30.Copy !req
260. That's cool.Copy !req
261. Chapter Four.Copy !req
262. Chances are, you live
in a metro environment...Copy !req
263. full of men
trying their best
to get ahead.Copy !req
264. Millions.
So how do you separate yourself
from the guy next to you...Copy !req
265. who may be younger
and also wants what you want?Copy !req
266. Through the quality
of your work,
by flying higher.Copy !req
267. This chapter's entitled,
"Taking Off."Copy !req
268. Let's let this classic rock song
remind you what direction...Copy !req
269. Richard Wehlner...
is headed: up.Copy !req
270. Let's rock!Copy !req
271. Our grocery... We have
Martin's projects right there.Copy !req
272. And we're trying to draw
from pretty high-end
neighborhoods.Copy !req
273. We get a lot of cut-throughs,
but, uh, keeping the lot safe
is our number one obstacle.Copy !req
274. And I don't shy away
from the lot. It's critical.Copy !req
275. That's good. It's critical
at the Augusta Plus store too.Copy !req
276. We have public housing
right there.Copy !req
277. Yeah, it's a balancing act.
You need safety, but you also
need good community relations.Copy !req
278. I'm glad you mentioned
community relations.Copy !req
279. The housing...
those are our neighbors,
our customers too.Copy !req
280. It's important to get along.Copy !req
281. Doug, what's this?Copy !req
282. I grabbed this
on the 19th.
That's out of line.Copy !req
283. Yeah.Copy !req
284. - When did you get that?
- June 19th, at your deli,
on the refrigeration unit.Copy !req
285. - I think this is B.S.
- It is B.S.Copy !req
286. I was probably on lot that day.
I like it out there.Copy !req
287. Who was inside?Copy !req
288. Maybe... Richard?Copy !req
289. Richard Wehlner.
Yeah.
Mmm.Copy !req
290. I think so.
Yep.Copy !req
291. You think he was on Deli,
or he was on Deli?Copy !req
292. Was on Deli.Copy !req
293. Send him in.Copy !req
294. Doug, these aren't great.Copy !req
295. Bear down.
We'll get some fresh cards.
We'll take it from there.Copy !req
296. I like what you're saying.Copy !req
297. I need to like
what you're doing
a little more.Copy !req
298. Thank you.Copy !req
299. How'd it go?
Good.Copy !req
300. Hello, gentlemen.Copy !req
301. I'm Richard Wehlner.
Thank you for
your valuable time.Copy !req
302. Nice to meet you, sir.
Richard Wehlner.Copy !req
303. Hi. How do you do? Thank you
for your valuable time.Copy !req
304. In Canada, we don't say...Copy !req
305. "Cutting the cheese"
simply means cutting
the actual cheese.Copy !req
306. It doesn't have a double thing,
so I just missed it.Copy !req
307. Because in Canada,
it's "cracking."Copy !req
308. - The expression.
- It's "cracking"
in Canada. Yeah.Copy !req
309. We "crack the cheese."Copy !req
310. "Cracking it"?Copy !req
311. "Cracking the cheese"?Copy !req
312. So I simply really believed
that Rogelio...Copy !req
313. had been given
an intra-Deli award...Copy !req
314. for cutting the actual cheese.Copy !req
315. I'm sorry.Copy !req
316. I simply believed Rogelio
had been given an intra-Deli...Copy !req
317. I heard you the first time.
Listen. We have permit delays.Copy !req
318. We're on hold this month.
We won't be deciding
for a few weeks.Copy !req
319. Make up the ground.Copy !req
320. Okay?
Okay.Copy !req
321. Then that's all.Copy !req
322. Well, thank you for gimme...Copy !req
323. for giving me
your valuable time.Copy !req
324. Thank you for your time.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, sir, for your time.Copy !req
325. Thank you for this...
for this moment.Copy !req
326. Thank you very much,
Mr. Cranston.
Appreciate it.Copy !req
327. Thank you very much, sir,
for your time today.
You are a valuable person to me.Copy !req
328. And I am sorry
about this cutting business.Copy !req
329. That's the end of that.Copy !req
330. No more cheese business.Copy !req
331. Last stop, financial district.Copy !req
332. So I never got
to go over my cool bullet points
because of the fart gag joke.Copy !req
333. The whole board saw it.
It was uncool.Copy !req
334. Why don't you
forget about it
for now?Copy !req
335. I want you
to blow off some steam.
I have an idea.Copy !req
336. I signed us up
for dance lessons.Copy !req
337. Oh, I don't know.
Let's go for it.Copy !req
338. Let's do salsa.
It's so beautiful.
Not when I do it.Copy !req
339. It's gonna be,
because you're
a beautiful guy.Copy !req
340. I don't know if I can do it.
Here, sweetie. Ready?Copy !req
341. Don't worry.
I'm not gonna backslide.Copy !req
342. All right.
Let's go dancin'.Copy !req
343. Ready? Whoo!Copy !req
344. How many pages is that?
Eight pages.Copy !req
345. It's so quiet.Copy !req
346. Okay. Now we just need
that $12,000 check...
the earnest money check.Copy !req
347. If I can't make the big
10% down payment in August,
I can get this back, right?Copy !req
348. Like, uh,
if I don't get this job
that I thought I was gonna get?Copy !req
349. Um, you forfeit that.
It will be a forfeiture
in that amount.Copy !req
350. Is that bad?
Yes.Copy !req
351. "Forfeit," as in,
you don't get
the money back.Copy !req
352. The seller keeps the money.
It's so they're not
hung out to dry,Copy !req
353. and it's also a way
of preventing schmucks...Copy !req
354. from trying to purchase
houses they can't afford.Copy !req
355. Yeah. Schmucks.Copy !req
356. - What are you talking about?
- Schmucks who buy houses
they can't afford.Copy !req
357. - Are there really
schmucks like that?
- Well, every once in a while,Copy !req
358. we'll encounter
a schmuck like that...
not often.Copy !req
359. Hey! Man, what the hell?
Ah!Copy !req
360. Holy shit.Copy !req
361. - That was "Teddy"?
- Yeah.Copy !req
362. - He's smaller than I imagined.
- Yeah, well, he's got
a lot of stamina.Copy !req
363. It took us five years
to save $12,000,Copy !req
364. and I might have
just schmucked it away.Copy !req
365. So Richard might be
a nice recovering drug guy,Copy !req
366. but if I could slide ahead
of him at the company retreat,
I was going to do it.Copy !req
367. Hey, leaders in quality foods,
the Donaldson's difference...
it's people.Copy !req
368. And all of you...
here's the great news...
are people.Copy !req
369. Now concentration allows you
to shut out distraction.Copy !req
370. Shutting out distraction, gang,
allows you...Copy !req
371. to accomplish your goals
and achieve new heights!Copy !req
372. Get it in here,
Chicagoland Donaldson's.
Come on.Copy !req
373. Tout de suite it in here,
make a stack of hands.
Right here in the middle.Copy !req
374. Let's go.
Bunch of hands,
here we go. Ready?Copy !req
375. Now let's make it happen
on "one." Ready on "one"? One!Copy !req
376. Let's make it happen!Copy !req
377. Here we go. Let's go. You can
do this, Mitch. Concentration.Copy !req
378. And... block out
distraction.
Easy.Copy !req
379. Here we go, Aaron.
That's it. That's it. That's it!Copy !req
380. Doug, you can do it.
Block out distraction.Copy !req
381. Block out distraction.
Very good.Copy !req
382. What do you think, Richard?
Here we go. And...Copy !req
383. It's not hot! It's not hot!Copy !req
384. You've essentially
attained your goal.
Blockin' out distractions!Copy !req
385. Who's next?
Who's next?Copy !req
386. Let's do it, Steve.
You've got it. You've got it.
You've got it!Copy !req
387. This guy's done this before,
right? You did this before
on some weird island?Copy !req
388. Here we go.
Hey, burgundy jumpsuit!Copy !req
389. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.Copy !req
390. Scott, you just concentrate,
concentrate, concentrate.Copy !req
391. He didn't block out
the distractions.Copy !req
392. Just get in the pool.
You can try it again.
Stop!Copy !req
393. That's all right.
This is why we sign
waivers, everybody.Copy !req
394. All right. Put the bags
on over your head. Everyone.Copy !req
395. Right over the top.
Perfect. Okay.Copy !req
396. Now, I want you to take off
one thing that you don't need...
quickly! Come on!Copy !req
397. Let's take something else off
that you really don't need...
right away!Copy !req
398. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Something else you don't need.
Let's make it happen. Come on!Copy !req
399. - Something else you don't need.
Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
400. Something completely
unnecessary.Copy !req
401. Doug, can we take our sack off?Copy !req
402. - What?Copy !req
403. Did you take
your sack off?
I can't really hear you.Copy !req
404. People, take off
one more thing that you
simply do... not... need.Copy !req
405. - Do it.
- Fuck.Copy !req
406. Okay, um...Copy !req
407. All right, everybody
that still has a bag
on top of their heads, scream,Copy !req
408. "My concentration skills
need improvement."Copy !req
409. One, two, three.
My concentration skills
need improvement!Copy !req
410. Easy with the laughter.Copy !req
411. Easy with that.Copy !req
412. That's enough.
All right.Copy !req
413. Who's up for some team building,
huh? Let's do it!Copy !req
414. Let's head over
to the productivity
obstacle course.Copy !req
415. Guy, slap the clothes back on.Copy !req
416. Let's just watch
the assumptions.
That's all it is.Copy !req
417. Yeah, is this
Chicagoland Pepsi?Copy !req
418. Connect to Kevin Conoway,
please?Copy !req
419. Richard Wehlner.Copy !req
420. Brighten the week
with a sweet from Donaldson's,Copy !req
421. the champion of excellence.Copy !req
422. Scott, lot the full week?Copy !req
423. Pepsi's sending
a new season of stuff. Yep.
Kevin wants Richard.Copy !req
424. PepsiCo's chips and paperware...
That's six days
of bad cards from the lot.Copy !req
425. I got two weeks
before the board
decides about Augusta.Copy !req
426. That's one week
of suck cards.
Come on, Fargas.Copy !req
427. What, are you callin' me
by my last name now?
Scott.Copy !req
428. Kevin wants Richard.
That's Pepsi.
Don't make a stink about it.Copy !req
429. You know what? I'm takin' lot.
Give it to me. They got
lot concerns at Augusta.Copy !req
430. I'm gonna get
some prime lot cards.
I'm gonna show 'em I can do it.Copy !req
431. - Awesome.
- I'm gonna jam for six days.Copy !req
432. Awesome.Copy !req
433. Let's make it happen!Copy !req
434. Hey, remove yourself!
Get your pizza off there.
Get your butt off my car!Copy !req
435. Fuck you, Mr. Chopsticks.
You Chungking fuck ass.Copy !req
436. Hey, show some respect!
Where is someone?
Can someone please help me?Copy !req
437. That's addressed to the board,
for the cards.Copy !req
438. They want the fresh ones.Copy !req
439. Gordon "Jiminy."
A kid hanging out in your lot
kidney punched me...Copy !req
440. because I offended him,
I guess, by doing nothing.Copy !req
441. Kidney punched me.Copy !req
442. There's a little bit of a lack
of security in your lot...Copy !req
443. 'cause your security guy
was sleeping in my car.Copy !req
444. Okay. The, uh...
The fucking chip
is fixed,Copy !req
445. and, uh, here we go...
right towards my own
private vehicle,Copy !req
446. because that's
how much confidence
I have in this.Copy !req
447. Remember, this could be
your daughter.Copy !req
448. Fuck!Copy !req
449. as I offer you a blueprint
for success in the workplace.Copy !req
450. And, like the eagle,
you'll create a commanding
atmosphere around...Copy !req
451. Richard Wehlner.Copy !req
452. If you ever
have to choose between working
inside and outside...Copy !req
453. at a major American
grocery store, choose inside.Copy !req
454. Inside you have some freedom.
You have places to hide.Copy !req
455. You can catch a breeze
off the dairy cooler.
The girls work inside.Copy !req
456. Mmm.Copy !req
457. Outside sucks.Copy !req
458. I just wanted to let you know
that everything was top-notch.Copy !req
459. Yes.Copy !req
460. You guys are really
getting your shit together.Copy !req
461. I fuckin' had it for
a while there, but I've sensed
a shift. Hey, good shift.Copy !req
462. Keep on truckin'
in that direction.Copy !req
463. I'll be a repeat customer.Copy !req
464. cuttin' grass and shit?Copy !req
465. I can call the police. So, just
so you know, this is Donaldson's
property. You're trespassing.Copy !req
466. I'm on
a parkin' lot.
It's our lot.Copy !req
467. - Fuck you.
- Heh, your ma's courteous.
She took my ride, sissy.Copy !req
468. What does that mean?
Hey! Well, give 'em back!Copy !req
469. Fuckin' get 'em.Copy !req
470. Fuck!Copy !req
471. Fuck!Copy !req
472. Fuck you, man, you know?
Back up.Copy !req
473. Back what?
Back up.
I'm not fuckin' around, dick.Copy !req
474. What you call me, motherfucker?Copy !req
475. Get off the lot!
Get off me!Copy !req
476. Is he serious?
Hey, he can't be
fuckin' serious.Copy !req
477. Have a nice day!Copy !req
478. You have a nice day,
fuckin' assholes!Copy !req
479. Aren't you on lot?Copy !req
480. I'm tryin' to fix these cards.
They got messed up.Copy !req
481. Don't forget,
those go in today.Copy !req
482. Half hour,
I'm gonna go down there.Copy !req
483. - Who's on lot?
- Just Bredon. Keith's sick.Copy !req
484. Ah, put Octavio out.
He can come off Deli.Copy !req
485. We got it covered.
You have the vest?Copy !req
486. In my locker.Copy !req
487. Thanks, Scott.
All right.Copy !req
488. I don't know
what you say.Copy !req
489. I was trying to figure out
if Brian... "Grall's" card...Copy !req
490. said, "Your employees
were very... courageous"?Copy !req
491. I wondered,
were any of them courageous?Copy !req
492. Esteban? No.
Little Esteban? No.Copy !req
493. - Hey.Copy !req
494. I found a whole stack
of D.E.'s in your locker.Copy !req
495. Stauber.Copy !req
496. A whole stack.Copy !req
497. Scott, man,
lot's so messed up.Copy !req
498. I know it is,
but it's not about you, okay?Copy !req
499. I'm going down
to the Augusta Plus.Copy !req
500. Why don't you pack your stack
and take a ride with me?
I wanna see you hand these over.Copy !req
501. Pack your stack.Copy !req
502. A lot of the guys,
when they're goin' out to assist
customers with their bags,Copy !req
503. they're doin'
some lollygaggin' outside.Copy !req
504. And everyone wants
to get fresh air.Copy !req
505. Don't get me wrong.
I like fresh air,Copy !req
506. but we need you inside,
or else we're short...Copy !req
507. Several young men taunted me
with chants...Copy !req
508. of "ching chong Chinaman"
and "cinnamon face"!Copy !req
509. You know what?
I'd like you to read them
to me right now.Copy !req
510. Out loud?
No, read them
to me silently.Copy !req
511. "My grocery list didn't include
sexual harassment, but thanks.Copy !req
512. Beth Kopins, 84."Copy !req
513. You want me to read
all of these?
Yes.Copy !req
514. Fuck.
- I'm sorry?Copy !req
515. That's on the card.Copy !req
516. "Fuck, that was a great
shopping experience."Copy !req
517. It doesn't say that,
does it?
No.Copy !req
518. What does it say then?Copy !req
519. Not a good demonstration
of my managerial skills.Copy !req
520. But I just decided to bear down,
motivate my staff
to raise their game...Copy !req
521. and just get more hands-on.Copy !req
522. I was going to handle it.
I was going to keep my cool
and handle anything.Copy !req
523. Then something happened:
the Tater Tot incident...
You're on the lot.Copy !req
524. provoked by what I call
the "Yoo-hoo smash."Copy !req
525. Full Yoo-hoo.Copy !req
526. Fuck!Copy !req
527. That's assault! I'm callin'
the police. You're gone!
Suck my dick.Copy !req
528. You're fucking gone.
All spiced up
with a little Mace.Copy !req
529. - I mean, what did he do?
Did he grab you?
- He, like...Copy !req
530. A bottle hit me,
and then he tugged at my shirt.Copy !req
531. He threw it?
I don't know,
someone in the group!Copy !req
532. Hey, you Maced him
full in the face.
He's in the hospital.Copy !req
533. Why don't you calm down?
He hit me in the head
with a bottle. It's out there.Copy !req
534. Look, pal, there's a lot
of bottles out there.Copy !req
535. What I know is,
he's got a face
full of liquid frenzine,Copy !req
536. his mom and dad are upset,
and I'm tryin' to figure out
what he did to you.Copy !req
537. They wanna talk to somebody...
an owner, they said.Copy !req
538. I have to call the board.Copy !req
539. - Man, he grabbed me.
- Are you going
to press charges?Copy !req
540. I don't know.
I have to talk to the board.
Are they? Can they?Copy !req
541. I don't know.
The parents are upset.Copy !req
542. Javier, what are you...
You just left these here?Copy !req
543. The bag's damaged.Copy !req
544. What, are they gonna melt?
Come on, man.Copy !req
545. This is bullshit.Copy !req
546. This... is...Copy !req
547. bull...Copy !req
548. - shit!
- Ow!Copy !req
549. - Hey! Whoa!
- What?Copy !req
550. - He's whippin' stuff at me.
- I was tossing them out.
He walked right in front of me.Copy !req
551. It hit me in the wrist.
They're heavy.Copy !req
552. Ow. They're frozen.Copy !req
553. - Fuck you, Wehlner.
- What is your problem?Copy !req
554. You want to file an in-store?Copy !req
555. What?
An in-store.
An in-store complaint?Copy !req
556. Geez. I don't know.
It just...Copy !req
557. They're pretty dense.
They're frozen potatoes.Copy !req
558. - Man, fuck you, Richard.
- What is your f'ing problem?Copy !req
559. Something's wrong.
What's been bothering you?Copy !req
560. You know, in the case
I don't get this job...Copy !req
561. in a weird case
I don't get this job...Copy !req
562. it's going to be
four more years, because
there's no new store planned.Copy !req
563. You're making too much
of this new job. I mean,
I can go back to school...Copy !req
564. there's night school...
and be a practitioner.Copy !req
565. You don't need this pressure.
We can do it together, just like
we've done everything so far.Copy !req
566. Jen, I don't want you
waiting for the bus
at night in February.Copy !req
567. You already work two shifts.
Night school?
You don't want to go back.Copy !req
568. - I don't want to, but I will.
- You're not going to.Copy !req
569. - Doug, look out!
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
570. Hey! Hey!
Hey.Copy !req
571. Hey! Hey!
What's your fucking problem?Copy !req
572. He has an issue
with the coupons.Copy !req
573. What, man? What issue?
Y-You do not honor the coupons
anymore for his snacks, yeah?Copy !req
574. All right. I'll honor
your coupons. Stop slapping me.
Okay? Stop?Copy !req
575. You can't go around
slapping people. What country
are you from, Insane Land?Copy !req
576. Hey, Jen.Copy !req
577. - Hey, guy.
- Hey.Copy !req
578. I wonder if anyone else here...Copy !req
579. got slapped
in the eyes yesterday
over a graham cracker snack?Copy !req
580. Probably not.Copy !req
581. I'm just gonna try to forget
about that particular
embarrassment...Copy !req
582. via some beers.Copy !req
583. Hey. Wanna
top me off there,
Teddy Grahams?Copy !req
584. Are you enjoying
your drink?Copy !req
585. Then I started working
at the grocery, and...Copy !req
586. You know, that's been
pretty okay.Copy !req
587. Because you can have
a family, you know?Copy !req
588. And, uh, move up
in administration.Copy !req
589. Save a little money.
You know what
I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
590. Yeah.
You know?Copy !req
591. So it's been good...Copy !req
592. till this guy from Quebec
comes along.Copy !req
593. You told me about that
already.Copy !req
594. I did?
Yeah.Copy !req
595. Hey, I have an idea.Copy !req
596. Let's get down sexually
right now...Copy !req
597. while you play the banjo.Copy !req
598. - Good idea.
- Is that even possible?Copy !req
599. Oh, that's the spot, dude.Copy !req
600. Oh, right on.
I guess so.Copy !req
601. I had to get up early
that morning, too,Copy !req
602. to write a Mace apology speech
for the community center.Copy !req
603. I hadn't written a speech
since Webelos.Copy !req
604. "While on a courtesy patrol,
the group of young men...Copy !req
605. "approached a Donaldson's
customer and me
while making threats,Copy !req
606. and I was struck in the head
by a bottle of Yoo-hoo."Copy !req
607. How do you know
who threw that Yoo-hoo?Copy !req
608. I noticed, um,
previous to the thing,Copy !req
609. that the young man that I had
the altercation with
was drinking Yoo-hoo.Copy !req
610. After I was struck,
I noticed that he wasn't
drinking Yoo-hoo anymore.Copy !req
611. And there was no one else
in the lot, so...Copy !req
612. "I discharged
a single pull of Mace
in his direction."Copy !req
613. I'm glad he's recovered.Copy !req
614. "But the incident only occurred
because customer care
is priority one at Donaldson's.Copy !req
615. "It would have happened
if the customer's safety
was threatened...Copy !req
616. "by a group
of any creed or color.Copy !req
617. "We at Donaldson's are proud
of our ties to the community.Copy !req
618. "We think it's a great one.Copy !req
619. "We intend to continue
to provide a courteous and safe
shopping atmosphere for you,Copy !req
620. "and we intend to continue
to provide shopping carts...Copy !req
621. "with that one wheel
that just won't work right.Copy !req
622. "We understand
that the young men
involved in the incident...Copy !req
623. "are not good examples
of the community,
but are troublemakers,Copy !req
624. "who there are a lot of
everywhere in this day.Copy !req
625. "The incident was unfortunate
for both parties,Copy !req
626. "but we won't let
a few bad apples
spoil the batch.Copy !req
627. You can be sure of that.
Thank you for coming."Copy !req
628. I think everybody's feeling
pretty good about it.
Yeah.Copy !req
629. It's isolated.
Oh, yeah.
It's a one-time thing.Copy !req
630. What's that?Copy !req
631. I agree. It's isolated.
I think it was just
some black apples.Copy !req
632. We won't be seeing
that happen again.Copy !req
633. Black apples.Copy !req
634. - What's that?
- You said "black apples."Copy !req
635. I said "bad" ones.
The fuck you said "bad."Copy !req
636. - Bad apples.
- You said "black."Copy !req
637. I'm sorry if there's
some confusion.
Maybe in the confusion, I...Copy !req
638. Hey, come on.
It's been a long day.
That was a slip.Copy !req
639. This is a lot of shit.Copy !req
640. You are not
a black apple to me.Copy !req
641. I said that possibly
there was one black one
in the batch. Not you.Copy !req
642. And I didn't mean
to say black.
I meant "back."Copy !req
643. "Blatch."Blad."Copy !req
644. "Blapples."Copy !req
645. Where'd you get
this fucker?Copy !req
646. Let's catch up outside.
I'll hit you with some
gift certificates.Copy !req
647. You hear that guy?Copy !req
648. "Where'd you get
this fucker?"Copy !req
649. Maybe I don't belong here.
Maybe he's right.Copy !req
650. You... You just...Copy !req
651. You said "blapples," hon.
It was weird.Copy !req
652. Let's... Let's find a way
for you to spend
some time alone,Copy !req
653. get cooled down.Copy !req
654. No payments, right?
No pressure.Copy !req
655. Right.
We'll find you something
to get lost in.Copy !req
656. Chapter Eight.Copy !req
657. "Keeping Your Cool."
Fuck.Copy !req
658. Have you ever seen
an eagle blow his top?Copy !req
659. - Do your best
to keep your cool.Copy !req
660. Stay loose.Copy !req
661. Fuck.Copy !req
662. Every life
has its frustrations,Copy !req
663. but be careful not to let them
get the best of you
in front of your family.Copy !req
664. Instead of curses, find
a more family-friendly wayCopy !req
665. to express life's frustrations.Copy !req
666. Fuck you! Ship fuck!
Asshole ship!Copy !req
667. Seven seas fucker!
Jolly fucker!Copy !req
668. - For Chrissake.
- No one can do that!
It's impossible!Copy !req
669. Not even a guy
with tiny hands!Copy !req
670. Not even a guy
with a child's hands!Copy !req
671. - Fuck that!Copy !req
672. I guess it was mean
enjoying a rainbow cone...Copy !req
673. to celebrate
Richard's racial slur.Copy !req
674. But I had a feeling
he was starting to crack.Copy !req
675. A couple more little things...
he might just fall apart.Copy !req
676. Black apples?
What an a-hole.Copy !req
677. What do you have?Copy !req
678. Hey. Oh, almeja sauce.Copy !req
679. Yeah, I'm gonna
make dinner tonight.Copy !req
680. We've been stressed
about getting this job,
so...Copy !req
681. I wanna make something.
We're just gonna
take it easy.Copy !req
682. It's supposed to be good,
Mateo and those guys said.Copy !req
683. - You got that clam sauce?
- Yeah.Copy !req
684. - You should ask Sylvia Rojas
about her almeja sauce.
- Yeah? She makes it?Copy !req
685. Almeja? That means "clam"
in Spanish.Copy !req
686. It also means something
dirty... P-U-S-S-Y.Copy !req
687. The baggers say it all day...
the dirty way.Copy !req
688. Yeah, okay, guys.Copy !req
689. Ask her, papa.
She's got a good recipe.Copy !req
690. Should I tell him
it means P-U-S-S-Y?Copy !req
691. Or should I break him down?
He put me on lot for a week.Copy !req
692. Go ahead, learn some Spanish...
the inappropriate way.Copy !req
693. Sylvia.Copy !req
694. Um...Copy !req
695. Mmm!Copy !req
696. Richard.Copy !req
697. Did you ask Sylvia
about her clam sauce?Copy !req
698. Yeah.Copy !req
699. You say it was the best?Copy !req
700. Yeah.Copy !req
701. That's pussy sauce.Copy !req
702. What?Copy !req
703. That's pussy sauce.Copy !req
704. It's her pussy.Copy !req
705. The Good Life. Chapter Nine.Copy !req
706. "Dignity and Respect
and Their Importance
in the Workplace."Copy !req
707. Gaining the respect
of colleagues
does not happen overnight,Copy !req
708. but these feelings...
dignity and respect...Copy !req
709. are a necessary part
of a good life.Copy !req
710. - Just frustrated.
- Are you going to slide back
to a bad place?Copy !req
711. Not by a long shot.
Lori, not by a mile.Copy !req
712. I've just had a bad day.Copy !req
713. I'm feeling a little
turned around here.Copy !req
714. Maybe I'm missing home.
It's the home
of the eagle.Copy !req
715. "It's a great place
to soar," you said.
Yeah.Copy !req
716. Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
717. I just feel
like I'm at camp
and I want to come home.Copy !req
718. You did male gymnastics
in the Junior Olympics?Copy !req
719. What?
You were a male gymnast?
Lopez said.Copy !req
720. I don't know what they're
saying. Name same as mine popped
up on Google or something.Copy !req
721. Hey, watch your soups.Copy !req
722. What about my soups?Copy !req
723. Your soups are sloppy.Copy !req
724. We're gonna be okay.
Thanks, Lori.Copy !req
725. - I love you.
- I love you too.Copy !req
726. - I'll see you at home.
- I'll see you.Copy !req
727. I just have to log
these Mesquite Crunchers.Copy !req
728. Bye.Copy !req
729. Hey.Copy !req
730. Are you gonna
write me up, Doug?Copy !req
731. No, man.Copy !req
732. Yeah, I just...
I just feel like
everything's getting to me.Copy !req
733. I know.Copy !req
734. Hey, smoke it down, bro.
I would, too, but I get
bad headaches.Copy !req
735. I had some, like,
lost years.Copy !req
736. Man, I was in
a motorcycle gang.Copy !req
737. Fuck you!Copy !req
738. I guess I'll just
get everybody.Copy !req
739. Have a nice day, hon.
You too.Copy !req
740. Man, come on!Copy !req
741. We found each other
and started a family.Copy !req
742. We said we were gonna
make a go of it.Copy !req
743. It's just hard.Copy !req
744. I mean, day care's 300.
Our premiums are 400.Copy !req
745. This dance class
is $280 U.S.Copy !req
746. Yeah.Copy !req
747. This is what I did.Copy !req
748. I bought a house
that I can't even...Copy !req
749. I can't even
nearly afford.Copy !req
750. I'm gonna tell Lori
I toked up.Copy !req
751. Yeah. I'm gonna tell Jen.
I have to.Copy !req
752. Because that's how
you get happy...Copy !req
753. leading an honest life
no matter what your life's
like beside.Copy !req
754. So I'm telling her.
Because that's a man.Copy !req
755. Because...Copy !req
756. If you have that
"to the max" clean love...Copy !req
757. man, that-that
"all the way" love...Copy !req
758. then you could be even,
like, a midget or something...Copy !req
759. and still light it up
with a smile.Copy !req
760. So go on, let it shine.Copy !req
761. I'm not bullshittin'.
Lori, I can make
a go of it.Copy !req
762. We're goin'.
We're goin' to Glasgow,
fuckin' like it or not.Copy !req
763. Okay, great.
Yeah, go visit your grammy.
And then come on back, yeah?Copy !req
764. Make it a holiday.
I'll show you I can make
a big dancing go of it.Copy !req
765. Tell your grammy I said hi.
I'll be seeing her.Copy !req
766. I'll tell Grammy
that you're a doper.
I'll tell Grammy that.Copy !req
767. Whoa. Lori, don't.Copy !req
768. Okay, Chrissie.
Have a little holiday
with your grammy.Copy !req
769. All right. Let's go.
I'll be seein' ya.Copy !req
770. Lori, make it a holiday.Copy !req
771. Will you get the mail in
when you get home?
Yeah. No problem.Copy !req
772. I gotta tell you something.
Mark,
you remember Doug.Copy !req
773. Yeah. Hey.
Teddy Grahams.
Yeah, hey.Copy !req
774. We got surgery at 10:00.
A cleft palate... two-year-old.
Okay.Copy !req
775. - What's a cleft palate?
- It's a deformation of
the "mascus"... the lower face.Copy !req
776. Medically, it's
"masculari horriblus,"Copy !req
777. which is Latin
for "monster face."Copy !req
778. And I guess some of
these kids really do
feel like monsters.Copy !req
779. But we restore them
to normalcy.Copy !req
780. You should see it, man.
It's beautiful.Copy !req
781. - Man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
782. - What? Tell me what.
- Nothing. I'll see you tonight.Copy !req
783. Okay.Copy !req
784. Let me show you
something.
Yeah.Copy !req
785. One way to go
from planning to tell the truth
to telling another lie...Copy !req
786. is to find a gift
from your wife...
who has no money...Copy !req
787. of some long-sleeved shirts...Copy !req
788. because she believes
you'll dress more formally...Copy !req
789. as the shoo-in boss
of a large grocery
because you said this.Copy !req
790. When the truth is you might
stay a "short sleever"...Copy !req
791. for the foreseeable future
of thousands of days.Copy !req
792. Hey.
I like my shirts.
Hey.Copy !req
793. What are you doing?Copy !req
794. It's for night school...
for the school thing,
for just in case.Copy !req
795. I thought I should do it.Copy !req
796. Are you worried?
No. But just in case.Copy !req
797. I didn't want
to miss the sign-up.
I want to save a spot.Copy !req
798. - You have to write
a check?
- 180.Copy !req
799. Don't. Because
I got the job.Copy !req
800. - They decided?
- Yeah. I got the job.Copy !req
801. - Doug! You are great!
- Yeah.Copy !req
802. Good-bye, banjo fuckers!Copy !req
803. Yeah.Copy !req
804. I don't know what that was.Copy !req
805. A lie wish?Copy !req
806. Way to go, Doug!Copy !req
807. Whoo.Copy !req
808. Hey,
Scott, I wanted
to mention, um...Copy !req
809. My wrist is acting up
a little...Copy !req
810. from the Tater Tot
thing.Copy !req
811. So I think I should
probably do that in-store.Copy !req
812. The in-store complaint?Copy !req
813. Yeah.
All right.Copy !req
814. That circulates
through the company...Copy !req
815. to the board, everywhere.Copy !req
816. Are you sure?
Yeah. I think that's
probably for the best.Copy !req
817. You know,
in case he does it
to somebody else.Copy !req
818. Okay. I'll get the forms.
Thanks, Scott.Copy !req
819. Because
it's flaring up.Copy !req
820. In-store complaints
are for real.Copy !req
821. They're for gross
and flagrant violation
of company conduct.Copy !req
822. It says it on the paperwork.Copy !req
823. Goddamn it.
Guys get fired for them,
not promoted...Copy !req
824. to jobs their wives already
think they have.Copy !req
825. Oye.
I heard from Scott.Copy !req
826. He say you into gymnastics
all the way for males.Copy !req
827. Our classes
are a "no refund" policy.Copy !req
828. Right. Uh...Copy !req
829. My wife...Copy !req
830. Due to circumstances,
my wife won't be able
to be my partner anymore,Copy !req
831. and that's cash money.Copy !req
832. You can transfer
your deposit
if you like.Copy !req
833. We have one class
available for singles.Copy !req
834. - Hey, Mr. Wehlner.
- Hey, Hardy.Copy !req
835. How you doin'?
Doin' good.Copy !req
836. - What'd you do last night?
- Went to the movies
with my sister.Copy !req
837. You did?
That sounds awesome.
Yeah.Copy !req
838. Guess what.
What?Copy !req
839. - I'm growing a mustache.
- All right. That's cool.Copy !req
840. Hey, Hardy,
you're doing a great job
in the store here.Copy !req
841. Thanks.
You too, man.
Keep it up.Copy !req
842. What's going on?
Oh, nothing.Copy !req
843. Just... Hardy.Copy !req
844. It just gets sad
sometimes.Copy !req
845. Do you know
why Hardy's hand
is powdered?Copy !req
846. Why?Copy !req
847. 'Cause retarded guys
masturbate so much...Copy !req
848. that they rub the skin
off their penises.Copy !req
849. It's just...
They don't know better.Copy !req
850. Just... They have a hard time
not jerkin' off.Copy !req
851. Hey.
Hey, guys.Copy !req
852. - Scott in?
- Yeah.Copy !req
853. I think Scott's
in Receiving.
Okay.Copy !req
854. I wanted to ask you a question
about the application.
No problem.Copy !req
855. I'll see you guys
later, all right?Copy !req
856. Hey, fellas.Copy !req
857. What was he doing?Copy !req
858. Was he talking
about jacking off?
Richard?Copy !req
859. He was talking
about jacking it?Copy !req
860. In front of customers?
Jacking dicks?Copy !req
861. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.Copy !req
862. F. you!Copy !req
863. What?
I didn't say that.Copy !req
864. They asked me
what you said.
That's what you said.Copy !req
865. You know what?
Fuck you, Doug.
That's what you said.Copy !req
866. How's your wrist?
How's your wrist,
Richard?Copy !req
867. You're bogus.
I'm bogus?Copy !req
868. You lace that thing on,
try to fuck me out of a job...
out of money for me and my wife.Copy !req
869. Those things weigh
62 grams.Copy !req
870. I don't know what a gram is,
but I guess that's a lot
'cause you're hurt.Copy !req
871. Get off me, Wehlner!Copy !req
872. See you later, Tappy.Copy !req
873. What, are you wearing
tap shoes?Copy !req
874. Lori left me, little boy.Copy !req
875. It's the only class
I can attend as a single.Copy !req
876. Goddamn!
Come on!Copy !req
877. Is that guy
wearing tap shoes?Copy !req
878. Come on!Copy !req
879. Fuck off!
Yeah?Copy !req
880. Come on, dick!
Come on!Copy !req
881. Fuck you!
Hold it!
Not cool!Copy !req
882. Not cool!
Go inside.Copy !req
883. Sorry, Scott.Copy !req
884. Dancing bear.Copy !req
885. I was lunching with Jen...Copy !req
886. trying to forget about it
and roll into the crucial
second interview.Copy !req
887. Then I spied that Big World.Copy !req
888. Remember Do-Good and Dodo?Copy !req
889. Dodo makes lunchtime
unpleasant for everyone.Copy !req
890. Do-Good shares
his peanut brittle
with the new... Negro.Copy !req
891. "Negro"?Copy !req
892. What the fuck?Copy !req
893. Hey, babe.
Hey.Copy !req
894. Sometimes, Do-Good
cleans up a mess...Copy !req
895. even if he didn't make it.Copy !req
896. Dodo is sometimes simply
not a good young man.Copy !req
897. Hey, Lori.
It's me.Copy !req
898. Hey, uh, tomorrow's
the big day...
the final sit-down.Copy !req
899. You know, the final
interview thing.Copy !req
900. Then they make
their decision.Copy !req
901. Hey, guess what.
I'm taking
tap dancing.Copy !req
902. The studio wouldn't
give me the deposit back,
so I'm tappin'.Copy !req
903. I've gotta say
I really like it.
It's real...Copy !req
904. It's a real
dance style.
Very expressive.Copy !req
905. Um, anyway, whatever.
I'm still dancin',
practicin'.Copy !req
906. And, uh...Copy !req
907. Listen, Lori.Copy !req
908. I love you,
and I miss you.Copy !req
909. Bye.Copy !req
910. A man probably has just
a half dozen or so...Copy !req
911. really critical days
in his life... that's all...Copy !req
912. a few days
that can totally determine
the quality of his future.Copy !req
913. This chapter is dedicated
to helping you...
Richard Wehlner...Copy !req
914. to make the most of the few
really golden opportunities
many of us will actually have.Copy !req
915. So let's let this classic track
take us into Chapter 10.Copy !req
916. "Time for Me to Fly."Copy !req
917. By the way, don't tell anyone
that track's on here.Copy !req
918. Because I didn't pay
for the licensing.Copy !req
919. You have to pull
the card back out.Copy !req
920. Orange Line, Midway.
Now changing to direct.Copy !req
921. Orange Line, Midway.
Now changing to direct.Copy !req
922. We have a temporary delay.Copy !req
923. Chapter 12. "Finishing Strong."Copy !req
924. I've written this chapter
as a reminder of your
new skills.Copy !req
925. Perhaps you'll choose
to listen to this passage...Copy !req
926. on the morning
of your most important day.Copy !req
927. So here it goes,
because you're ready.Copy !req
928. Richard Wehlner...Copy !req
929. is totally number one.Copy !req
930. Because...
Richard Wehlner...Copy !req
931. shows true grit.Copy !req
932. Richard Wehlner... is not afraid
to put others under his thumb...Copy !req
933. because... Richard Wehlner...
totally does more
than what's expected.Copy !req
934. Is there anything
you'd like to add?Copy !req
935. Just that I'd give
the new store my all.Copy !req
936. I think you would.Copy !req
937. Good. So if there's
nothing else,Copy !req
938. send in jack apples.Copy !req
939. Let's get apple jacker's
interview over with.Copy !req
940. That cheese cracker.Copy !req
941. Good luck.Copy !req
942. Because you're
gonna need it.Copy !req
943. Before I get Richard,
I just...Copy !req
944. We have this bag boy... Hardy.
I wanted to tell you that,
when you thought...Copy !req
945. that Richard Wehlner
was talking trash talk,
as you said,Copy !req
946. Richard was just letting me
know there are parts of Hardy's
life that made him sad.Copy !req
947. - That's all.
- Which parts?Copy !req
948. Um, the parts where Hardy
can't stop masturbating
his penis.Copy !req
949. So he has a powdered
right hand for a deterrent.Copy !req
950. Wouldn't powder make
the experience better?Copy !req
951. Uh, probably, but...Copy !req
952. This is a specific powder
with sandpaper-like qualities,
I think.Copy !req
953. All I'm saying is that...
Richard is a good guy.Copy !req
954. He's not out of line
or inappropriate.Copy !req
955. I wanted you to know.Copy !req
956. He's a real good grocer.Copy !req
957. So if there was
no inappropriate talk,Copy !req
958. I guess that leaves you guys
on equal footing.Copy !req
959. Yeah. I guess.Copy !req
960. Tell Richard
we'll be with him
in five minutes.Copy !req
961. Are you all done?Copy !req
962. They said
wait around.Copy !req
963. For what?
They didn't say.Copy !req
964. They just said
wait around.Copy !req
965. I'm fucked.Copy !req
966. Hey. Richard.Copy !req
967. Doug.Copy !req
968. We're all just out here
tryin' to get some food.Copy !req
969. Sometimes we bump
into each other.Copy !req
970. Stay loose, Doug.Copy !req
971. Hey. I've enjoyed
our time together.Copy !req
972. But now it's time
for you to get out there...Copy !req
973. and just kick
everyone's ass.Copy !req
974. See you at the yacht club,
my good friend...
Richard Wehln...Copy !req
975. - Do one thing for me.
- Yeah, babe.Copy !req
976. You fix
that little ship,Copy !req
977. and you keep it cool
and keep it clean,
mister.Copy !req
978. - Chrissie's sleepin'.
- Okay.Copy !req
979. Don't get f'ing tangled.
Come on.Copy !req
980. Tell me again
why you're not at work.Copy !req
981. I carved out
some free time.Copy !req
982. On your first day?
Yep.Copy !req
983. You didn't start
your new job today,
did you?Copy !req
984. No.Copy !req
985. You didn't actually
get it yet, did you?Copy !req
986. No.Copy !req
987. Doug, why did you
tell me that?Copy !req
988. I said I could go
back to school.Copy !req
989. I want to be the primary
breadwinner, Jen.
Come on.Copy !req
990. Female lions do the hunting.Copy !req
991. I'm not a lion.Copy !req
992. I'm a guy.Copy !req
993. Get up there,
son of a b.Copy !req
994. I was embarrassed.
About what?Copy !req
995. Our life.Copy !req
996. And George Washington
Carver.
George...Copy !req
997. Who made all this stuff
out of peanuts...Copy !req
998. blankets,
peanut silverware,Copy !req
999. a peanut car,
a peanut gun.Copy !req
1000. No, he didn't.
He made some
peanut stuff.Copy !req
1001. And he was a slave.Copy !req
1002. I should've made
something by now.Copy !req
1003. I'm 33 years old.
I sell peanuts.Copy !req
1004. I am peanuts.Copy !req
1005. You're such a guy.Copy !req
1006. Hey.Copy !req
1007. Fuck!Copy !req
1008. - I tried, babe.
- I know.Copy !req
1009. I'll get the next one,
babe, all the way.Copy !req
1010. I know.Copy !req
1011. Love you too.Copy !req
1012. Hello.
Doug. Mitch
from Donaldson's.Copy !req
1013. Hey.
We've made our choice.Copy !req
1014. Between you and me, Richard
failed his drug test...
spectacularly.Copy !req
1015. So it was you
and Donnie Wahls
from Lakeview.Copy !req
1016. But he's pretty junior.Copy !req
1017. So I'm calling to say
welcome aboard.Copy !req
1018. Oh, man.
Yeah.Copy !req
1019. I just wanted to say
welcome aboard.Copy !req
1020. Oh, hey. Welcome aboard
to you too, Mitch.Copy !req
1021. Yeah. Doug, we'll see you
on the seventh at 8:00 a.m.
Okay, yeah.Copy !req
1022. Hey-Hey, Mitch.
Thanks.
See you, Doug.Copy !req
1023. Standing downtown, I thought
of everything that happened.Copy !req
1024. Was I the better man?Copy !req
1025. I don't know.
I just know
I started running.Copy !req
1026. Maybe because
I got something I needed.Copy !req
1027. And if I met Richard
in the street or somewhere,Copy !req
1028. I think I could still
shake his hand.Copy !req
1029. So was I the better man?Copy !req
1030. I don't know.
I just felt like a man.Copy !req
1031. Man, I hadn't felt that good
since I placed silver
in Boys' Apparatus...Copy !req
1032. in the Junior Olympics.Copy !req
1033. Yeah!Copy !req
1034. I never saw Richard again,
but I heard he went back
to Canada with his family,Copy !req
1035. back to his old grocery.Copy !req
1036. I also heard he put out
a storage room fire withCopy !req
1037. his bare hands or something...Copy !req
1038. and got promoted to manager.Copy !req
1039. There are rumors
he started the fire himself
for self-promotion purposes.Copy !req
1040. But either way,
he's a higher-up now.Copy !req
1041. And that's cool,
because he can get a place
for his wife and girl.Copy !req
1042. He can save a little something
off to the side for himself too.Copy !req
1043. I don't know,
maybe a new chopper.Copy !req
1044. Shh. Turn it on.Copy !req