1. In New York City,
there's a fine line
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2. between law and chaos.
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3. On that line live
Danson and Highsmith.
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4. Tell me again why I decided
to get on this roof!
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5. I think you can chalk that
up to bad life choices.
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6. Get rid of
that asshole.
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7. - Uh-oh!
- I hate it when you say "uh-oh!"
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8. Dude, you put
a ding in my hood!
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9. Come on with
it, then!
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10. Oh! Whoa, hey!
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11. That's trouble.
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12. Did someone call
Nine-One-holy-shit?
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13. That's it. I'm sick
of all this running.
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14. Hang on!
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15. You have the right to remain silent!
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16. But I wanna
hear you scream!
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17. Down on the ground!
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18. Detective!
Yeah, yeah! Detective!
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19. One at a time,
all right?
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20. Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
New York Observer Online.
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21. These suspects were caught
with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
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22. a misdemeanor
in some states.
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23. Do you think this arrest was worth
$12 million in property damages?
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24. Why don't we let New York City
answer that question?
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25. The greatest city
on Earth, yeah!
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26. Hi, Sarah Gapone
from TMZ print edition.
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27. Danson, are the rumors about
you and Kim Kardashian true?
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28. No comment.
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29. But, yes.
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30. Danson and Highsmith,
free hot dogs for life!
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31. - No drinks. No drinks.
- Oh!
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32. I can't do it.
I can't do it.
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33. Danson and Highsmith
shoot, drive, and sex with style.
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34. They're rock stars.
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35. Then you got your jokers,
your ball busters, your vets...
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36. …and the other guys.
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37. We know, we know.
We know.
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38. All right, all right, all right.
Listen up, listen up!
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39. We're having a celebration
tonight at Butter.
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40. Brody Jenner's gonna
be there. Bai Ling.
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41. - That little short bitch from Jersey Shore.
- Yeah!
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42. And most of you
are on the list.
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43. You're the best.
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44. Guys, I'm gonna
say something right now.
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45. It's about a man who came
from Austria with a dream.
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46. Arnold Schwarzenegger!
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47. Let me finish.
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48. He became a champion
and then a movie star, all right?
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49. - Arnold Schwarzenegger!
- God damn it, let me...
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50. They ruined the story.
They ruined the story.
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51. Let... What...
The point is,
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52. we couldn't do our job if it weren't
for you guys doing all the paperwork,
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53. answering the phones, and all that
stupid shit that we don't like to do.
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54. All the gun fights,
all the car chases,
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55. all the sex we don't wanna have with
women, but we have to,
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56. all due to what
you guys do.
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57. Thank you.
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58. And we'd do it
again and again.
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59. Hey, you shut your face!
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60. If we wanna
hear you talk,
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61. I will shove my arm
up your ass
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62. and work your mouth
like a puppet!
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63. You hear me?
You hear me?
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64. - Cash bar.
- Yeah.
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65. Peace out, bitches.
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66. Hey, fellas.
All right, bring it in.
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67. Come on. Bring it
in a little bit.
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68. All right, right there.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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69. Just back up,
just like right there.
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70. All right, just one...
Just a...
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71. There you go, right there.
Right there.
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72. This is their paperwork.
You know they're not gonna do it.
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73. That's right. This paperwork
is like Bob's wife here.
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74. It's thick, ugly,
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75. got Danson's
fingerprints all over it.
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76. - No offense, Bob.
- That's all right.
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77. - Anyway, now who wants it?
- I do!
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78. All right! Paper Bitch
and Yankee Clipper on the case!
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79. - Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
- Thank you, Captain.
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80. "I'll do it!
I'll do it!"
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81. Stop humming that song!
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82. I can hum if I want to.
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83. No, I know you can.
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84. I'm asking you to stop.
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85. - Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop.
- Thank you.
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86. Could you not
smile like that?
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87. Now you're asking me
to mask my emotions
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88. because of how
it makes you feel.
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89. That I will not do.
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90. Seriously, stop
humming! Okay?
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91. This isn't accounting
or wherever the hell
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92. you and your little pocket
calculator were transferred from.
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93. Forensic accounting, okay.
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94. And it's an important
part of the job.
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95. Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly
happy about doing shit work, you moron.
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96. Hey, guys.
Reminder.
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97. The police union picnic's
coming up this weekend.
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98. Uh... My wife's making her famous
deviled eggs, again.
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99. My waistline's furious.
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100. It's a bad time, Bob!
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101. All right.
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102. Going to get a slice.
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103. You know what
I just did?
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104. I just walked out that door,
saw a couple detectives,
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105. and I was about to start bad
mouthing you behind your back,
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106. but I stopped myself,
because my pops taught me
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107. that a man who talks behind
somebody's back is a coward.
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108. Wow, I actually
appreciate that.
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109. Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell
you directly to your face.
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110. No. You don't have to.
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111. No, I don't like you.
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112. I think you're
a fake cop.
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113. The sound of your piss
hitting the urinal?
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114. - It sounds feminine.
- Mmm-mmm.
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115. If we were in the wild,
I would attack you.
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116. Even if you weren't
in my food chain,
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117. I would go out of
my way to attack you.
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118. If I were a lion,
and you were a tuna,
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119. I would swim out in the middle of
the ocean and freaking eat you!
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120. And then I'd bang
your tuna girlfriend.
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121. Okay, first off, a lion
swimming in the ocean?
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122. Lions don't like water.
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123. If you'd placed it
near a river
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124. or some sort of
fresh water source,
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125. that'd make sense.
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126. But you find yourself
in the ocean, 20-foot waves,
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127. I'm assuming it's off the
coast of South Africa,
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128. coming up against
a full-grown, 800-pound tuna
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129. with his 20
or 30 friends?
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130. You lose that battle.
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131. You lose that battle nine times
out of ten. And guess what?
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132. You've wandered into
our school of tuna,
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133. and we now have
a taste of lion.
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134. We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated.
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135. - Yeah?
- And said, "You know what?
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136. "Lion tastes good.
Let's go get some more lion."
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137. We've developed a system
to establish a beachhead
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138. and aggressively hunt
you and your family.
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139. And we will
corner your pride,
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140. - your children, your offspring.
- How you gonna do that?
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141. We will construct a series of
breathing apparatus with kelp.
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142. We will be able to trap
certain amounts of oxygen.
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143. It's not gonna be
days at a time,
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144. but an hour, hour 45,
no problem.
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145. That will give us enough time
to figure out where you live,
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146. go back to the sea,
get more oxygen,
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147. and then stalk you.
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148. You just lost
at your own game.
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149. You're outgunned
and outmanned.
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150. Did that go the way you
thought it was gonna go?
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151. Nope.
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152. Two minutes before
the markets open,
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153. Pamela Boardman, CEO of
Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell.
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154. With Boardman is investment
banker, David Ershon,
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155. who manages 40% of
Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
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156. How much
did we lose?
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157. You may ring the bell
now, Ms. Boardman.
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158. $32.
- Million?
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159. No, billion.
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160. Shit!
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161. Chinatown. Three Triad gang members.
I popped two of them off the draw.
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162. - Bang, bang.
- Yeah.
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163. Then I raise up to
take the leader out.
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164. Oh, shit, I feel
like I'm there now.
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165. I hear a whistle.
My partner's on the roof.
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166. He says, "Let's
even the odds!"
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167. He tosses me down
a Mossberg pump.
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168. I send one
through his chest.
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169. Game over, bitches.
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170. - All right.
- Yeah.
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171. Jimmy? Let's talk about how
that story made you feel.
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172. Like a Viagra pill
with a face.
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173. I know it's very tempting.
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174. You want to impress
your friends.
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175. But this is serious stuff
we're dealing with, okay?
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176. This is firing your weapon
in the line of duty.
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177. Officer Hoitz?
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178. Oh, man.
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179. Would you like to share?
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180. No, I'd rather not.
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181. Officer Hoitz, you've been coming
here for six months now,
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182. and you haven't
said a word.
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183. This is a safe environment,
no judgment here.
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184. Douche bag.
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185. That's judgment,
Jimmy. Come on.
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186. I relive it every night.
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187. Bronx, October.
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188. Game 7 of the World Series.
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189. For all the marbles. High pressure,
unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty.
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190. I mean, I saw a shadowy
figure in the tunnel.
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191. I told him to stop.
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192. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
this is a restricted area!
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193. Finally pulled my gun.
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194. Pulled a deadly weapon.
He started running at me.
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195. Don't make me shoot!
I'll do it!
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196. Are you deaf? You hear me yell,
"Freeze"?
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197. You dick! I'm Derek Jeter!
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198. You shot me!
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199. - You cost me 20 grand on that game!
- Douche bag.
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200. Cost the city
a championship.
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201. I was being groomed
for a top position in homicide.
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202. Now I'm stuck with
a desk jockey partner.
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203. Everybody calls me
the Yankee Clipper.
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204. Because you shot
Derek Jeter!
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205. He's a biracial angel.
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206. You should've
shot A-Rod.
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207. Yo, Paper Bitch.
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208. - What's up, man?
- Hey. Hey, guys.
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209. Paper Bitch.
Paper Bitch.
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210. I don't like that,
actually.
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211. I know you guys think it's fun,
but I don't like that name.
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212. Still working on the Danson and
Highsmith paperwork?
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213. - Shit.
- No, actually, actually, that's...
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214. What is this?
That looks stupid.
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215. Guys, it's illegal permitting for
construction. Specifically, scaffolding.
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216. Some of the guys
were talking.
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217. They were like,
"How come you've never
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218. "fired your weapon
in the office before?"
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219. Good point.
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220. I'm sorry,
I don't follow.
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221. You've never fired your
weapon in the office.
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222. We all have, you know.
It's called a desk pop.
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223. Fellas, look, I know you don't
respect me as a police officer.
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224. - Not true.
- I'm not stupid.
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225. I'm not gonna discharge
my firearm in the office.
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226. Gamble, listen to me.
I'll try to make it real clear.
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227. We honor the flag,
and you crap on it
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228. when you don't shoot
your gun in the office.
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229. Jimmy. When's the last time
you had a desk pop?
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230. September '08.
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231. - Be a man. Do it.
- Now.
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232. - Please, please, do it.
- Pop one off!
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233. - There you go. Pop it off!
- Don't think, just go!
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234. - Here we go.
- Do it, yes.
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235. He did it!
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236. Hey! Shots fired!
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237. Hey, Terry, I did it!
I did my first desk pop!
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238. It's a real thing,
right?
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239. - A desk pop?
- Yeah.
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240. No, that's not real!
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241. They were so convincing
in their argument,
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242. they swung me.
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243. All right, Allen, you're gonna
have to hand over your gun.
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244. Yes, sir.
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245. Captain, you really
wanna disarm this guy,
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246. take out the batteries
in the calculator.
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247. All right, I'm gonna
give you this.
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248. This is a dummy gun.
I use it for ceremony.
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249. There.
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250. You get this back when I feel
you know how to handle it.
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251. Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs.
I'm working here.
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252. And I got another job
at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
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253. I'm doing that just to
put a kid through NYU
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254. so he can explore his bisexuality
and become a deejay.
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255. Now the last thing I need
is a ballistics report in the unit.
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256. I'm just gonna ask you guys,
please, come on, really.
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257. Just think about...
Just be smart.
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258. 211 in progress.
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259. They're using a wrecking ball
to clean out Castien Jewelry.
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260. All right, we got it.
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261. Good luck, guys.
Have a good one.
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262. Allen, let's go.
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263. No, I got work to do.
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264. What? This is work!
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265. Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith.
We roll in heavy.
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266. You cream puffs,
sit tight.
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267. You gotta be shitting me!
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268. You can't keep me
cooped up in here, okay?
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269. I am a peacock!
You gotta let me fly!
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270. Did he just... Did he just call
himself a peacock?
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271. Let's go!
Let's go!
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272. Come on, fellas!
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273. Wednesday night is taco night
at Rikers Island!
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274. Oh! That's the second
one this week!
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275. Hey, you monkeys!
Stop!
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276. Let's go!
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277. Yeah!
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278. Heads up!
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279. Shit.
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280. Special Forces zipline.
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281. Cut that line!
Cut it! Let's go!
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282. These guys are pros.
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283. Let's go!
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284. You thinking what
I'm thinking, partner?
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285. Aim for the bushes.
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286. Cops still
argue to this day
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287. why Danson and
Highsmith jumped.
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288. Maybe it was just pride, having
survived so many brushes with death.
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289. Maybe their egos
pushed them off.
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290. I don't know.
But that shit was crazy.
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291. Either way, there was a hole in
New York City, and it needed to be filled.
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292. Two days ago,
this city wept.
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293. We lost two heroes
who gave everything for us,
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294. who paid that
ultimate sacrifice
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295. so that we may walk
these streets safely.
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296. There wasn't even an awning
in their direction.
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297. - No, I know.
- They just jumped 20 storeys.
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298. Doesn't make sense,
does it?
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299. I only hope God lets them
take their.357s with them to heaven.
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300. It's our moment, Allen. Our moment
to step up and be the guys.
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301. - We're at a funeral. Show some respect.
- What?
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302. You don't think every other
detective here isn't thinking the same thing?
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303. Allen, listen to me.
Danson and Highsmith are gone.
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304. Their desks are empty.
Someone has to fill those seats.
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305. That someone is us, okay?
The city's dying for a hero.
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306. - Is it?
- Yeah.
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307. What about nine million
socially-conscious and unified citizens,
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308. all just stepping up
and doing their part?
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309. As a little kid, didn't you dress up and
play cops and robbers?
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310. I'll tell you what
I did as a little kid.
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311. I went to school
and made my bed.
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312. And at age 11,
I audited my parents.
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313. And believe me, there were some
discrepancies, and I was grounded.
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314. What the hell are you?
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315. Well, well, well.
What do we got here?
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316. Look at these two
jamokes, would you?
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317. One shot Jeter and the
other shot an office.
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318. Have some decorum.
We're at a funeral. Shh.
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319. You wanna dance,
brolio? Huh?
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320. I will rock your body
with big, nasty hooks.
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321. You'll be pissing blood
out of your ass.
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322. That's horrible.
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323. Why don't you
step back, man?
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324. You touch him,
I swear to God
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325. I'm gonna beat the shit out
of you with Allen's head.
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326. He's not gonna do that.
That's hyperbole.
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327. But that's a weird example.
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328. - You wanna go?
- I wanna go!
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329. Get him off.
Kick his ass, Martin.
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330. Yeah.
How do you like that?
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331. Pull his hair!
I love it.
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332. This hurts so good.
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333. Shh.
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334. - Very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
- What a lovely hat.
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335. I love your shoes.
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336. - It's fine, it's fine.
- Go, go.
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337. Punish him!
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338. Oh, man.
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339. Do it. That's how
we do it in the hood.
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340. Punish him.
That's not even a move.
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341. I'm the winner.
I'm the winner, everybody saw it.
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342. What the hell
is going on here?
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343. Two good men are dead,
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344. and you guys are fighting over
who's gonna be the next hotshot?
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345. Is that
what's happening?
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346. Yes, that's exactly
what's happening.
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347. Let me tell you something
about those guys.
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348. They knew that
to become a good cop,
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349. you had to solve
cases. Okay?
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350. Okay, and maybe you start
with the Castien robbery.
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351. Okay? So just watch it.
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352. Next time, me,
you, library.
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353. - Not even close.
- Come on, guys. Guys, come on.
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354. You are...
I'm the winner!
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355. I didn't need you
to stick up for me, okay?
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356. I could've handled
that myself.
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357. Hey, don't flatter yourself.
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358. It's the partner's code.
I had no choice.
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359. Move.
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360. 9:15, let's have
a great day, everybody!
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361. Cut the shit!
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362. Good morning.
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363. We've got
shots fired. 509 East 10th Street.
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364. There are large amounts
of cocaine on the scene.
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365. Try to stay out
of trouble, boys.
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366. There's no chance you'd
wanna go on that call, right?
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367. No chance.
Too busy.
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368. All right, ladies.
Starting to get the picture?
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369. We're about to
lock shit down.
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370. - That's right.
- You girls stay here and get your type on.
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371. Go get them, guys.
Lot of energy, lot of focus.
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372. Shut up!
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373. Allen, could I see you
in the hallway for a second?
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374. I... I'm super busy
right now, Terry.
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375. No, no, no, I know.
This'll be real quick.
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376. It's about the construction permits
you were talking about.
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377. - The scaffolding violations?
- This is our thing, yeah.
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378. So, what do you got?
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379. I got this! I'll put one
right in your neck.
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380. What are you doing?
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381. Let's go. We're going
to that call.
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382. - What is this?
- Shut up.
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383. We're going to the car,
and we're going after this case.
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384. - You're not gonna shoot me.
- I won't?
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385. - No.
- I shot Jeter.
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386. - That was an accident.
- Was it?
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387. - Now move.
- Okay.
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388. Hey.
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389. Does anybody see this?
He's got a gun on me.
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390. I'm being kidnapped.
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391. Really, we're in
a police station
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392. and no one is
interested in this?
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393. - So, then what happened?
- What do you think happened?
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394. I woke up, I took the belt off my neck,
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395. and I got in my car,
and I got out of there.
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396. Talk about a wild
weekend, right?
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397. I thought I was gonna have to
shoot my way out.
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398. What are you gonna do,
though, you know? Bar mitzvahs.
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399. What the hell is this?
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400. It's my car.
It's a Prius.
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401. I feel like we're literally
driving around in a vagina.
Copy !req
402. Detective Hoitz and Gamble
are on that 518 on East 10th.
Copy !req
403. Negatory, Martin and Fosse,
two minutes out.
Copy !req
404. We'll just see
who's there first.
Copy !req
405. You stay out of our crime
scene! You hear me?
Copy !req
406. Go, go, go!
Copy !req
407. You feel that, Allen? Huh?
That tingling in your balls?
Copy !req
408. Big metal butterflies
fluttering around in your stomach?
Copy !req
409. Are you sure you don't
have testicular cancer?
Copy !req
410. I got something
to get you going.
Copy !req
411. Let's go do some damage!
Copy !req
412. Nope.
Copy !req
413. What the hell is that?
Copy !req
414. LRB. Little River Band.
Copy !req
415. This music makes me feel like I'm going
shopping for a training bra.
Copy !req
416. You know what? We go with no music, okay?
Copy !req
417. - Fine.
- Say bye.
Copy !req
418. No, no, no,
don't say bye...
Copy !req
419. You just signed
your own death warrant, Hoitz!
Copy !req
420. Allen, punch that accelerator or I will
shoot you in the foot!
Copy !req
421. America!
Copy !req
422. Allen! Allen,
hit the brake!
Copy !req
423. Seriously, slow
the car down!
Copy !req
424. We're approaching
the crime scene!
Copy !req
425. Terry, I'm coming in.
Copy !req
426. You're gonna smash
right through the tape! Allen!
Copy !req
427. Dude! What...
Copy !req
428. That's a lot of cocaine.
Copy !req
429. Did you yell "America"
when you hit the accelerator?
Copy !req
430. Nope. No. No.
Copy !req
431. I've never actually
put my foot all the way down
Copy !req
432. to the ground with
the accelerator like that.
Copy !req
433. It got me
slightly aroused.
Copy !req
434. Here we go.
Copy !req
435. Way to put your stamp
on the crime scene, guys.
Copy !req
436. Prius, huh?
Yep, yep.
Copy !req
437. Good mileage?
Copy !req
438. - Oh! Outstanding.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
439. Did this come with a dental dam?
Copy !req
440. - No.
- Get it?
Copy !req
441. My Suburban shit
one of these last night.
Copy !req
442. I didn't know
they put tampons on wheels.
Copy !req
443. We've had our fun, huh?
Copy !req
444. Looks like Scarface
sneezed on your car.
Copy !req
445. All right, everybody!
Copy !req
446. I'm gonna need you all
to back up now. We're taking over.
Copy !req
447. "At the crime scene, LOL."
Copy !req
448. - Good tweet, good tweet.
- Yeah, thanks.
Copy !req
449. America has always been
defined by its excess.
Copy !req
450. The Grand Canyon,
professional sports contracts.
Copy !req
451. Wendy's Baconator,
extra bacon.
Copy !req
452. I myself have
18 Lamborghinis
Copy !req
453. and a Subaru
station wagon.
Copy !req
454. And it's because of this excess
that I have flourished.
Copy !req
455. I implore you, please,
do not stop profiting.
Copy !req
456. Live for excess.
It's the American way.
Copy !req
457. Hello.
Copy !req
458. Mr. Ershon? I believe
this call's for you.
Copy !req
459. Sir David.
Copy !req
460. David. You're not
returning my calls,
Copy !req
461. so I'd like you to
meet Roger Wesley.
Copy !req
462. - G'day, mate.
- Hey.
Copy !req
463. Roger and his team are gonna
babysit you because I don't trust you,
Copy !req
464. because I think
you're going to take off.
Copy !req
465. Pamela, this is ridiculous.
I'm not going anywhere.
Copy !req
466. David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies
come out on the 26th.
Copy !req
467. You have until then
to give me my money.
Copy !req
468. I'm not reporting
any losses, David.
Copy !req
469. I have zeroed in
on a new investor.
Copy !req
470. Well, then,
you get their money,
Copy !req
471. make it disappear,
and then pay us back.
Copy !req
472. Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't
need to keep watching me.
Copy !req
473. - David!
- Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
Copy !req
474. Yeah. She overreacted. She's a
woman. So, you're good to go.
Copy !req
475. Heard everything, mate.
Copy !req
476. Ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
477. guess who gave me the secrets
to making my first billion dollars.
Copy !req
478. That man there.
Copy !req
479. Go! Go!
Copy !req
480. Side!
Step aside, please.
Copy !req
481. You don't think
I'm a real cop, do you?
Copy !req
482. No, I don't. I've said that directly to
your face numerous times.
Copy !req
483. I was really
honest about that.
Copy !req
484. I'm working on
a huge case, all right?
Copy !req
485. Property owner with seven
buildings under construction.
Copy !req
486. He hasn't applied for
a single scaffolding permit.
Copy !req
487. Now, according
to Ask Jeeves,
Copy !req
488. this perp is at the Plaza Hotel
speaking right now.
Copy !req
489. That's your big case?
Scaffolding permits?
Copy !req
490. Yeah.
Copy !req
491. Guess what?
You're coming with me.
Copy !req
492. It's a wooden gun.
Copy !req
493. Oh!
Copy !req
494. That hurts, man!
Copy !req
495. I've always got Little River
Band loaded up here.
Copy !req
496. I've got six
discs in here.
Copy !req
497. Claude, meet me outside,
at the back of the service entrance.
Copy !req
498. I'm flying
Air Singapore.
Copy !req
499. - Hey, Douglas. How's the wife?
- She died.
Copy !req
500. Attaboy!
Copy !req
501. I'll be there in
two minutes exactly.
Copy !req
502. Another thing
I hate about you?
Copy !req
503. You always pay
in exact change.
Copy !req
504. You're just mad
because I have a nice change purse.
Copy !req
505. Why do you even care?
Copy !req
506. How can I help it? You know what?
You know what's worse?
Copy !req
507. The way you fart. Even your farts,
they're not manly.
Copy !req
508. You're being ridiculous.
Copy !req
509. They sound like a baby blowing
out the candles on a birthday cake.
Copy !req
510. - What?
- Like a little...
Copy !req
511. - You know what bugs me about you?
- What?
Copy !req
512. I'm pretty sure
you've never voted.
Copy !req
513. No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880.
Play of the week.
Copy !req
514. You're like a child in a leather jacket.
That's what you're like.
Copy !req
515. Get out of the way, man!
Copy !req
516. Wait. Are you
David Ershon?
Copy !req
517. Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon,
but I don't bother with the...
Copy !req
518. Anyway, little bit of a rush,
gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you.
Copy !req
519. Excuse me, but you're
under arrest, okay?
Copy !req
520. What?
Copy !req
521. You have the right
to remain silent.
Copy !req
522. Anything you do or say
can be used... Um...
Copy !req
523. - What's the next part?
- As a floatation device.
Copy !req
524. As a floatation device.
Copy !req
525. Oh. You know what?
That's very funny.
Copy !req
526. I have never
Miranda-ed anyone before.
Copy !req
527. - Really?
- Are you guys for real?
Copy !req
528. Am I being punk'd?
Copy !req
529. Detective Allen Gamble.
Copy !req
530. We are in
a cocaine-covered car,
Copy !req
531. and we are
bringing in a perp.
Copy !req
532. One David Ershon.
Copy !req
533. 175 pounds.
Copy !req
534. - Thank you. 175 pounds.
- Shut up, man, shut up!
Copy !req
535. Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
talking to Shepard Smith right now.
Copy !req
536. We arrest this jerkoff
for a scaffolding permit?
Copy !req
537. Wait, wait, wait,
what am I being arrested for?
Copy !req
538. For scaffolding
permit violation...
Copy !req
539. - I got my insurance card. Somewhere.
- Easy, mate.
Copy !req
540. What the hell?
You ran right into us!
Copy !req
541. - Stand over there.
- Huh?
Copy !req
542. Wood?
Copy !req
543. What the...
Copy !req
544. - Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate.
- What?
Copy !req
545. Do not let
these men take me.
Copy !req
546. Hi.
Copy !req
547. Why's she looking
at you like that?
Copy !req
548. That's my car!
Copy !req
549. Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange
insurance information!
Copy !req
550. Hey! Excuse me!
Copy !req
551. Why did they
take our shoes?
Copy !req
552. What the hell
just happened?
Copy !req
553. Where's my iPhone?
Copy !req
554. I think we've walked
30 blocks, man.
Copy !req
555. I don't get why we can't
just call the office
Copy !req
556. and have a squad car
come pick us up.
Copy !req
557. No. They took our shoes,
our guns, and our car.
Copy !req
558. There's no way that's
going out on the radio.
Copy !req
559. Look, if we're gonna
do this together,
Copy !req
560. there's some issues
we need to settle, okay?
Copy !req
561. I mean, you said
I had a weak chin.
Copy !req
562. You said the way
I pee is feminine.
Copy !req
563. How do you think
that makes me feel?
Copy !req
564. I mean,
that list you have,
Copy !req
565. you put a lot of
thought in. It's weird.
Copy !req
566. I hear you.
Copy !req
567. Let's clean the slate
right now. Fresh start.
Copy !req
568. All right.
Fresh start.
Copy !req
569. Maybe we should call ourselves
the Febreze Brothers,
Copy !req
570. 'cause it's feeling
so fresh right now.
Copy !req
571. Right?
Copy !req
572. Let's do another fresh start, 'cause
I just wanted to punch you in the face.
Copy !req
573. Fine, fresh start.
Copy !req
574. It's the last one.
Copy !req
575. I have to be able to express
myself and say things, you know.
Copy !req
576. - Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up!
- Listen up!
Copy !req
577. Got a high
profile kidnapping.
Copy !req
578. David Ershon, wealthy banker,
multinational team.
Copy !req
579. Maybe a sleeper cell,
but it's too early to tell.
Copy !req
580. Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your
shoes? 'Cause your feet are black.
Copy !req
581. Who cares?
It's not important, okay?
Copy !req
582. Hoitz, Gamble,
Captain. Not good.
Copy !req
583. - Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.
Copy !req
584. Come on.
Copy !req
585. Guys, this is Don Beaman,
the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
Copy !req
586. Roger Wesley, head of
his private security.
Copy !req
587. - Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
588. Hey, Terry!
Take it easy!
Copy !req
589. - That's the guy who took our guns, Captain.
- And my shoes!
Copy !req
590. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify
yourselves as police officers?
Copy !req
591. What is this?
Copy !req
592. Allen, tell me.
Did you?
Copy !req
593. No, we did not.
Copy !req
594. Sorry, gentlemen.
Copy !req
595. We thought you were
abducting Mr. Ershon.
Copy !req
596. It's only protocol.
Copy !req
597. Mr. Ershon has
agreed to correct
Copy !req
598. this scaffolding situation.
The case is closed.
Copy !req
599. I've taken care of
all necessary paperwork.
Copy !req
600. And you fellas, at this point,
should just be glad that
Copy !req
601. Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges
for excessive use of force.
Copy !req
602. - Thank you, Captain.
- You bet.
Copy !req
603. Australian?
Copy !req
604. Special Forces, right?
Copy !req
605. Best watch your step,
Detective.
Copy !req
606. There are three things
I love in this world.
Copy !req
607. Kylie Minogue,
Copy !req
608. small dimples just above
a woman's buttocks...
Copy !req
609. Beautiful features.
Copy !req
610. and the fear in a man's eye who
knows I'm about to hurt him.
Copy !req
611. Hey! Shake your dicks.
This pissing contest is over.
Copy !req
612. Come on, man.
Copy !req
613. All right, look,
they returned your shoes.
Copy !req
614. And they returned
your weapons.
Copy !req
615. Here you go, Terry.
Copy !req
616. Allen, someone was nice enough
to put linseed oil on it,
Copy !req
617. some kind of stain on that,
dark walnut or something.
Copy !req
618. You might wanna think about
dropping them a thank you note.
Copy !req
619. Okay.
Copy !req
620. You're mad at us,
huh, Gene?
Copy !req
621. First off, don't call me Gene.
I'm your captain.
Copy !req
622. Guys, do you remember
the "Be Smart" speech?
Copy !req
623. - Sure.
- All right.
Copy !req
624. Well, what did you do?
What'd you do about it?
Copy !req
625. The opposite. We were
not smart, Captain Gene.
Copy !req
626. It's just "Captain."
Copy !req
627. Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene."
I don't have a kiddie show.
Copy !req
628. That sounds creepy,
"Captain Gene."
Copy !req
629. Police mistakenly arrest
investment banker,
Copy !req
630. David Ershon.
Copy !req
631. Was he the victim of
financial profiling?
Copy !req
632. Financial profiling?
That's crazy.
Copy !req
633. He broke the law
and we arrested him.
Copy !req
634. That wasn't
a security team.
Copy !req
635. He said, "Don't let
these people take me."
Copy !req
636. I mean, when you hear hooves,
you think horses, not zebras.
Copy !req
637. What about donkeys
or deer?
Copy !req
638. They have hooves.
What about bovine creatures?
Copy !req
639. Were you just thinking
to yourself, "Fresh start"?
Copy !req
640. Yeah.
Copy !req
641. Yeah. I could see it.
Copy !req
642. Listen, why don't we just
go over to my place?
Copy !req
643. We'll talk the case down.
Copy !req
644. We can have a little dinner.
You can meet Sheila.
Copy !req
645. Two cops talking down a case
while eating food, all right?
Copy !req
646. - It's not dinner.
- Fine.
Copy !req
647. And let me apologize
in advance, okay,
Copy !req
648. in case my wife acts
like a world-class bitch.
Copy !req
649. She's a big old broad,
Copy !req
650. and she
likes to wield it.
Copy !req
651. Okay, so I put
together a little bio,
Copy !req
652. complete with pictures
of Mr. David Ershon.
Copy !req
653. I used Adobe Premiere.
I like to do a little weekend editing.
Copy !req
654. I recently just cut three
minutes out of Goodfellas.
Copy !req
655. David Ershon is currently
the CEO of Ershon Consortium.
Copy !req
656. Who's that talking?
Copy !req
657. It's the Frontline Narration App.
It's only 99 cents.
Copy !req
658. Ershon Consortium, current
financial investments exceed $70 billion.
Copy !req
659. His largest clients include
Schering-Plough and Lendl Global.
Copy !req
660. Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't
figure out what they do.
Copy !req
661. Yeah, oil, media,
health care,
Copy !req
662. you've probably
heard their jingle.
Copy !req
663. David Ershon is often
found in the company of Judge Scalia…
Copy !req
664. - Yeah.
- …and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
Copy !req
665. I mean, this guy could be
connected to drug cartels,
Copy !req
666. black market organ sales,
human trafficking, all of it.
Copy !req
667. How do you get that
from anything I just said?
Copy !req
668. Hey, guys!
Soup's on.
Copy !req
669. What do you mean?
Copy !req
670. Hi.
Copy !req
671. - Hi.
- You must be Terry.
Copy !req
672. I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey,
but this dinner was tricky.
Copy !req
673. Oh!
Copy !req
674. - Who are you?
- I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
Copy !req
675. - Come on, seriously. Who is that?
- His old lady.
Copy !req
676. - Sweetie, it's a workstation.
- Got it.
Copy !req
677. And you come in here,
dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.
Copy !req
678. I know you're working.
I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
679. - Come on, seriously.
- Come on, what?
Copy !req
680. Who is that?
Copy !req
681. That's the old... That's the old
ball and chain.
Copy !req
682. Get over here.
Copy !req
683. - Not... Not right now.
- Okay.
Copy !req
684. Look, they're not all
first-round picks, okay?
Copy !req
685. Come on, are you gonna
tell me who that is?
Copy !req
686. Are you really
Allen's wife?
Copy !req
687. Mmm. I know.
Copy !req
688. People are shocked because he's
Episcopalian and I'm Catholic,
Copy !req
689. but somehow it works.
Copy !req
690. Are you gonna change?
Copy !req
691. Oh. I already did.
Copy !req
692. It's no big deal.
You look really, really nice.
Copy !req
693. Terry, you don't have
to be polite, okay?
Copy !req
694. She looks kind of shitty.
Copy !req
695. Don't speak to her
like that, Allen.
Copy !req
696. Look, if I put that in my Cosmo
Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-.
Copy !req
697. Ooh! Allen and his apps.
He loves them.
Copy !req
698. You know he's designed
three of his own? One of them...
Copy !req
699. - Can I tell him?
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
700. One of them, you can take
a picture of anybody's face,
Copy !req
701. and it'll tell you what the
back of his head looks like.
Copy !req
702. - Faceback.
- Faceback.
Copy !req
703. Got some horrible reviews
coming out of the gate.
Copy !req
704. - It's gonna hit.
- It's gonna catch.
Copy !req
705. Why are you with Allen?
Copy !req
706. I mean, that's not
what I meant.
Copy !req
707. I meant, how did
you guys meet?
Copy !req
708. It's a really typical
"how we met" story, Terry.
Copy !req
709. You're gonna be
bored by it.
Copy !req
710. I was a dancer for the Knicks while
finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
Copy !req
711. Allen came into the ER
with poison ivy on his rectum.
Copy !req
712. Yes.
Copy !req
713. Needless to say,
I fell for him immediately.
Copy !req
714. It's funny, it's like a scene
from that one movie,
Copy !req
715. always forget
the name of it.
Copy !req
716. - With Meg Ryan.
- Yes.
Copy !req
717. I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
Copy !req
718. - I'll think of it. I'll think of it.
- Okay.
Copy !req
719. So, what about you, Terry?
Do you have a girl?
Copy !req
720. I did, yeah.
Copy !req
721. We were supposed
to get married,
Copy !req
722. but she backed out.
It's complicated.
Copy !req
723. Terry shot Derek Jeter.
Copy !req
724. Shut up, Allen.
This was before.
Copy !req
725. That's okay.
Copy !req
726. Oh! She's Got Mail.
That's the name of the movie.
Copy !req
727. That's it! Honey!
Copy !req
728. - With Tom Hanks?
- Right.
Copy !req
729. - And Meg Ryan.
- Meg Ryan.
Copy !req
730. He didn't have
poison ivy up his ass.
Copy !req
731. - Yes, he did.
- Yes, he did. Yeah.
Copy !req
732. Way up there.
Copy !req
733. Well, Terry, can't thank you enough
for coming by. What a...
Copy !req
734. What a wonderful,
lovely evening. Thank you.
Copy !req
735. It was so, so nice
meeting you, Terry.
Copy !req
736. It was my pleasure.
Thank you.
Copy !req
737. And remember,
all I ask of you is,
Copy !req
738. you don't let him
get hurt, Terry.
Copy !req
739. - She tells me that every day before I leave.
- Yep, I do.
Copy !req
740. I come downstairs
and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries,
Copy !req
741. and I say, "Listen, my little sugar
balls, whatever you do today,
Copy !req
742. "you just
don't get hurt."
Copy !req
743. Yeah. Every morning.
Copy !req
744. And then I show him my breasts, and I say,
"These are waiting for you
Copy !req
745. - "when you get back home."
- Right.
Copy !req
746. You know, Terry, they're not the
biggest breasts he's ever seen,
Copy !req
747. but, man, are they perky.
Copy !req
748. Not by along shot.
Copy !req
749. And they are firm,
and they are yours.
Copy !req
750. You're a nice lady.
Copy !req
751. Ohhh!
Copy !req
752. Thank you for coming.
Copy !req
753. Detectives Hoitz and Gamble?
Copy !req
754. Detectives Hoitz
and Gamble? Over.
Copy !req
755. Go for Hoitz.
Copy !req
756. - We found your red Prius.
- Great.
Copy !req
757. It was trying to vote
for Ralph Nader.
Copy !req
758. - Come on.
- Okay, sugar balls, listen up.
Copy !req
759. There's gonna be
fingerprints on that car.
Copy !req
760. Tomorrow, we're gonna run those
fingerprints through the system.
Copy !req
761. And if we get a hit,
Copy !req
762. this case is gonna heat up
faster than a junkie's spoon.
Copy !req
763. You do one thing when you
wake up tomorrow, bring it.
Copy !req
764. - Okay.
- Thank you, Sheila.
Copy !req
765. Oh. He'll bring it.
Copy !req
766. - Good night!
- Good night.
Copy !req
767. Thank you, Sheila.
Copy !req
768. Bye, Terry!
Copy !req
769. Bye, Sheila!
I'll never forget tonight.
Copy !req
770. - Bye, Terry!
- All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside.
Copy !req
771. Bye, Sheila!
Copy !req
772. - Night!
- See you... See you, Terry!
Copy !req
773. Bye, Sheila.
Copy !req
774. I don't know if he
heard me. Bye, Terry!
Copy !req
775. Bye, Sheila!
Copy !req
776. Well, here she is.
Copy !req
777. They left her under
an overpass for the night.
Copy !req
778. You find anything?
Copy !req
779. Yeah. We found
a lot of stuff.
Copy !req
780. From bodily fluid
and hair samples,
Copy !req
781. we determined that
a bunch of old,
Copy !req
782. homeless dudes had
an orgy in the car.
Copy !req
783. - Oh, God.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
784. You know what that's called
when they do that in there?
Copy !req
785. That's called a soup kitchen.
Copy !req
786. It's pretty rough stuff.
Copy !req
787. Not long after that,
a mama raccoon came along
Copy !req
788. and gave birth
on the floor.
Copy !req
789. What about fingerprints?
You find any fingerprints?
Copy !req
790. - Nope, couldn't get a one.
- Found a cell phone.
Copy !req
791. Yeah, that's mine.
Copy !req
792. Any signs of
a struggle or spent shells?
Copy !req
793. No. Believe me, everybody that was
in on this orgy was more than willing.
Copy !req
794. In fact, they even
left you a note here.
Copy !req
795. "Thanks for the F-shack. Love,
Dirty Mike and the boys."
Copy !req
796. Here's something we found.
Copy !req
797. We found about a dozen
unscratched lottery tickets.
Copy !req
798. No fingerprints or nothing.
Check that out.
Copy !req
799. Yeah, it's a real shame,
you know. I got myself a Prius.
Copy !req
800. It's a hell of a machine.
Copy !req
801. It's my first brand-new car.
I've never owned a new car.
Copy !req
802. Watch out. In the back, there's a baby
mouse in a used condom.
Copy !req
803. Really gross.
Copy !req
804. Not even a free ticket.
Copy !req
805. What are we gonna do?
Copy !req
806. We got no fingerprints,
a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
Copy !req
807. Look at this, there's a two-minute
phone call made after we were jumped.
Copy !req
808. - They used your phone?
- They ghost dialed.
Copy !req
809. Someone probably sat on it.
Copy !req
810. It could have recorded some of their
conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
Copy !req
811. We gotta hear the other
side of that call.
Copy !req
812. Nope, no, it's nothing.
Copy !req
813. - Nothing? It's the only lead we have.
- It's nothing. It's nothing.
Copy !req
814. Why did you just
get super jumpy?
Copy !req
815. What?
Copy !req
816. It's an ex-girlfriend,
okay?
Copy !req
817. What's the matter?
What happened with you guys?
Copy !req
818. She was just a bit of
a handful, that's it.
Copy !req
819. Allen, it's the only
lead we have.
Copy !req
820. We either go with this or we walk away
from this case right now.
Copy !req
821. Fine. Let's go see her.
Copy !req
822. Hello, Christinith.
Copy !req
823. Hello, Allen.
Copy !req
824. That's my partner, Terry.
Copy !req
825. Hi, Telly.
Copy !req
826. Holy shit. Dude.
Copy !req
827. Just relax, relax.
Copy !req
828. I waited for you
in Tower Records
Copy !req
829. for four hours.
Copy !req
830. That was 13 years ago.
Copy !req
831. Arnold Palmer alert.
Arnold Palmer alert.
Copy !req
832. Who wants some
Arnie Palmies?
Copy !req
833. Sweetie, this one has
the vodky, right here.
Copy !req
834. Hal, just place it
down, please.
Copy !req
835. All righty.
Copy !req
836. Okay.
Copy !req
837. I did things in bed with you that I haven't
done with anyone since.
Copy !req
838. No.
Copy !req
839. Christinith, your husband,
it's awkward.
Copy !req
840. Oh, no,
he knows all of this.
Copy !req
841. You're a lucky dog.
Copy !req
842. It's true.
Copy !req
843. Christine, this is
a lovely house.
Copy !req
844. It's Christinith. Are you stupid,
or are you deaf?
Copy !req
845. Christinith,
you idiot!
Copy !req
846. You come to our house,
you get my wife's name right!
Copy !req
847. - What?
- Christinith!
Copy !req
848. Look, we really
appreciate the hospitality.
Copy !req
849. We'd just love to get
the message off your cell phone.
Copy !req
850. We believe it might give us
information regarding a kidnapping.
Copy !req
851. Okay. Why don't you
come to the kitchen,
Copy !req
852. and I will let you
listen to it
Copy !req
853. and everyone else
stay here.
Copy !req
854. Okay, sweetie.
Copy !req
855. Come on.
Copy !req
856. Oh! There's my phone.
Copy !req
857. Oh! Great, thank you for...
Copy !req
858. I hate you,
you son of a bitch!
Copy !req
859. You're so strong.
Copy !req
860. I'm stronger than
you will ever know!
Copy !req
861. I hate you! I hate you!
Copy !req
862. You're so adorable.
Look at your face. Look at your face.
Copy !req
863. You go, "I wuv you."
Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith."
Copy !req
864. Mmm.
Copy !req
865. You probably think because of
the beard that I'm really hairy.
Copy !req
866. But I'm not.
Copy !req
867. Shaved.
Copy !req
868. Allen!
Copy !req
869. Allen! Allen!
Copy !req
870. This is police evidence.
Terry! Let's go!
Copy !req
871. Hey!
Copy !req
872. You get back here
and you make love to my wife!
Copy !req
873. Allen! Allen!
Copy !req
874. I don't get it, man.
I just do not get it.
Copy !req
875. I mean, that girl Christinith
was seriously hot.
Copy !req
876. Your wife is crazy hot.
Copy !req
877. I mean, even that
Brazilian security chick,
Copy !req
878. she threw you
a "Do me" vibe.
Copy !req
879. What is it with you
and hot ladies?
Copy !req
880. First off, my wife is cute,
but she's not hot.
Copy !req
881. Dude, you're insane.
Your wife is scalding hot.
Copy !req
882. - You wanna listen to this message or not?
- Yeah, whatever.
Copy !req
883. You have
one job, mate.
Copy !req
884. Find a sucker to
invest with you
Copy !req
885. so you can pay my boss
back the money you lost.
Copy !req
886. And I don't care who.
Copy !req
887. Right. I actually
think I found a sucker…
Copy !req
888. He's talking to Ershon.
Copy !req
889. …to invest $32 billion.
Copy !req
890. Who's got $32
billion to rob?
Copy !req
891. Once I get the money,
I'll falsify the records
Copy !req
892. to show their massive losses
and then repay your employer.
Copy !req
893. Now, since
you're following me,
Copy !req
894. I need to go to
2300 Park Avenue,
Copy !req
895. and after that…
Copy !req
896. I told you it wasn't
a security team.
Copy !req
897. He was being abducted.
Copy !req
898. Obviously, but
what kind... Holy...
Copy !req
899. Nobody leaves our house
without making love to my wife!
Copy !req
900. - Is that him?
- Yeah!
Copy !req
901. Oh, my God,
they came out of nowhere!
Copy !req
902. - Holy shit!
- They chased us 20 miles.
Copy !req
903. - You come back here! You get back here!
- Allen!
Copy !req
904. 2300 Park Avenue.
It's the offices of the lottery.
Copy !req
905. Holy shit, the lottery
tickets we found.
Copy !req
906. Ershon is using the lottery money
to cover his losses.
Copy !req
907. $32 billion. That's
the state's money.
Copy !req
908. Well, what do we tell Mauch?
A guy lost some money.
Copy !req
909. We have a scratchy cell phone
message and an address.
Copy !req
910. It's still half a case.
Copy !req
911. There's gotta be some
sort of paper trail.
Copy !req
912. If we can find that,
we can track it,
Copy !req
913. then we can go to Mauch.
Copy !req
914. So, I did some more research
on Ershon's accounting firm,
Copy !req
915. and I found some
pretty interesting stuff.
Copy !req
916. It turns out that Gretchel
and Dawson has...
Copy !req
917. Hold on, I'm up.
Copy !req
918. Done?
Copy !req
919. Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm
in Fair Lawn, New Jersey
Copy !req
920. has only one client,
David Ershon.
Copy !req
921. Pretty rinky-dink operation
for a guy like that.
Copy !req
922. Looks like we're going to
Jersey to visit an accounting firm.
Copy !req
923. That's a shitty day.
Copy !req
924. Do you have fun singing those songs?
They're really depressing.
Copy !req
925. I do. They're full
of rich history.
Copy !req
926. Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed
to go meet my lady.
Copy !req
927. I thought you said
you guys split up.
Copy !req
928. Let's just keep our thing
about work, okay?
Copy !req
929. All right. Goodbye, buddy.
Copy !req
930. Hey, get off me, man.
Copy !req
931. I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell
are you doing here?
Copy !req
932. I love you, Francine.
Copy !req
933. If you were with me, you wouldn't
be here in this strip club,
Copy !req
934. shaking it for
dollar bills!
Copy !req
935. This is a ballet
studio, Terry.
Copy !req
936. Okay? These poles
are horizontal.
Copy !req
937. He loves you
very much, Francine.
Copy !req
938. Who is this guy?
Copy !req
939. What are you
doing here, Allen?
Copy !req
940. It's the code.
I'm your partner.
Copy !req
941. I'm here to support a friend
and a work colleague.
Copy !req
942. Francine, is this
guy bothering you?
Copy !req
943. Who's this,
your new boyfriend?
Copy !req
944. Great. You got
a new boyfriend.
Copy !req
945. He is my dance partner,
Terry. Okay?
Copy !req
946. I know that this
is a big surprise,
Copy !req
947. but there are other things in the
world besides being a cop. Okay?
Copy !req
948. Now, if you will excuse me,
I'm gonna dance.
Copy !req
949. What, you don't think
I can do this shit? Huh?
Copy !req
950. That was surprisingly
good, Terry.
Copy !req
951. I love you, Francine.
Copy !req
952. You don't know
what love is.
Copy !req
953. He loves you
very much, Francine!
Copy !req
954. I heard it when
he said it. Thank you.
Copy !req
955. You know what you're doing to me?
You're killing me inside.
Copy !req
956. And don't
eyeball me, man!
Copy !req
957. You're running around
with this crack-dealing drug addict?
Copy !req
958. Terry!
Copy !req
959. He does not approve
of your behavior!
Copy !req
960. Can you please go?
Copy !req
961. And you, too, creepy guy
standing in the door?
Copy !req
962. Let's go, Allen.
Copy !req
963. I think we all experienced
our own ballet today.
Copy !req
964. The ballet of emotion
and feelings.
Copy !req
965. You're kind of
making things worse.
Copy !req
966. You okay?
Copy !req
967. Yeah, I'm fine.
Copy !req
968. Hey, I didn't know
you could dance.
Copy !req
969. We used to do
those dance moves
Copy !req
970. to make fun of guys
when we were kids,
Copy !req
971. show them how queer
they were, okay?
Copy !req
972. You learned to dance
like that sarcastically?
Copy !req
973. Yeah, I guess.
Copy !req
974. Stay out of my
personal life, okay?
Copy !req
975. The kid flies private.
Copy !req
976. Stay focused
on the case, man.
Copy !req
977. I'll see you in
Jersey tomorrow.
Copy !req
978. All right, Terry.
Copy !req
979. Hey, that was
liberating for me.
Copy !req
980. I don't know
how it felt for you.
Copy !req
981. Here, check this out.
Copy !req
982. Article from
six months ago.
Copy !req
983. Talking about how
the lottery is looking
Copy !req
984. to invest their $30-billion fund
more aggressively.
Copy !req
985. So he's dealing drugs?
Copy !req
986. No, it's not drugs.
This isn't Miami Vice.
Copy !req
987. Hey, I got you a gift.
Copy !req
988. I just saw something,
and I thought of you,
Copy !req
989. and so, I don't
want it to be weird.
Copy !req
990. I just wanted
to be nice.
Copy !req
991. Of course it's weird.
Copy !req
992. It's a grown man
giving another man a present.
Copy !req
993. There you go.
Open it up.
Copy !req
994. It's okay,
you're welcome.
Copy !req
995. I like to do
things like that.
Copy !req
996. Take a look what it says.
Copy !req
997. You know, because we're both
in law enforcement.
Copy !req
998. We both like women.
Copy !req
999. But I got a weird
sense of humor.
Copy !req
1000. I'm a sick puppy.
Copy !req
1001. I can't look at it.
It makes me laugh so hard.
Copy !req
1002. Me, too.
Copy !req
1003. Real nice. You know,
it's all class.
Copy !req
1004. - Okay.
- Don't do that shit any more.
Copy !req
1005. Yeah, believe me,
I won't.
Copy !req
1006. Do you understand what's
so funny about it, though?
Copy !req
1007. 'Cause it's the FBI, right?
Copy !req
1008. It has the same logo,
the same shield.
Copy !req
1009. And at first glance, you're like, it's just
a mug that says "FBI."
Copy !req
1010. But then at second glance,
you're like, "Female Body Inspector"?
Copy !req
1011. Get out of town.
This is outrageous...
Copy !req
1012. Shut up!
Copy !req
1013. I'm gonna climb over
that anger wall of yours
Copy !req
1014. one of these days,
Copy !req
1015. and it's gonna
be glorious.
Copy !req
1016. Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're
going to check this place out?
Copy !req
1017. For what? We're just
going to check it out.
Copy !req
1018. I know,
but it's procedure.
Copy !req
1019. Terry answers to no one.
Copy !req
1020. I do what I do.
Copy !req
1021. What accounting firm is
closed at 11:00 a.m. On a Tuesday?
Copy !req
1022. Oh. This is a shithole.
Copy !req
1023. I love bombs.
Copy !req
1024. I can't hear!
I can't hear!
Copy !req
1025. There's blood blisters
on my hands!
Copy !req
1026. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1027. How do they walk
away in movies without flinching
Copy !req
1028. when it explodes
behind them?
Copy !req
1029. There's no way!
I call bullshit on that!
Copy !req
1030. When they flew the Millennium Falcon
outside of the Death Star,
Copy !req
1031. and it was followed by the
explosion, that was bullshit!
Copy !req
1032. Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars!
That was all accurate!
Copy !req
1033. I need an MRI.
Copy !req
1034. I need an MRI!
I've got soft tissue damage.
Copy !req
1035. There's no way I don't have
soft tissue damage.
Copy !req
1036. Please stop.
Copy !req
1037. I just wanna go somewhere
and breastfeed right now!
Copy !req
1038. Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
but no way. That was timed.
Copy !req
1039. They didn't wanna kill us,
but they wanted to scare us.
Copy !req
1040. Yeah, well,
they succeeded, okay?
Copy !req
1041. I'm tired of this.
All right?
Copy !req
1042. I'm tired of explosions
and people pointing guns at me.
Copy !req
1043. I wanna go back
to my desk.
Copy !req
1044. Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes
and messes with your ears.
Copy !req
1045. You can't escape it by hiding at
your desk for your whole life.
Copy !req
1046. You know what?
Yes, you can.
Copy !req
1047. I've done it
for years, okay?
Copy !req
1048. There's no explosions
at my desk.
Copy !req
1049. There's no explosions
at my home
Copy !req
1050. with my plain wife,
in my plain house.
Copy !req
1051. What are you
afraid of, man?
Copy !req
1052. I'm your partner.
You can tell me.
Copy !req
1053. What the hell
are you hiding from?
Copy !req
1054. I was a sophomore
in college.
Copy !req
1055. The university I went to decided
they needed to raise tuition.
Copy !req
1056. A classmate
of mine, Brenda,
Copy !req
1057. in an effort to raise money
and stay in school,
Copy !req
1058. came up with a nifty plan
Copy !req
1059. where she thought she'd date
guys and charge them money.
Copy !req
1060. I go on dates
all the time,
Copy !req
1061. with a whole bunch of,
you know, boys and stuff.
Copy !req
1062. And I kind of need somebody to help me
out, like, you know, my partner in crime.
Copy !req
1063. Yeah, I could
make a schedule.
Copy !req
1064. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what I was thinking.
Copy !req
1065. Provide transportation
services.
Copy !req
1066. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1067. - It's gonna be a good time.
- Thanks so much for asking me.
Copy !req
1068. She said she needed
my help to make sure
Copy !req
1069. that the dates went okay
Copy !req
1070. and that the guys paid her.
Copy !req
1071. She said she'd give me
a percentage.
Copy !req
1072. Oh, my God.
You were a pimp.
Copy !req
1073. What? God, no.
Copy !req
1074. No, I was just trying
to help a friend.
Copy !req
1075. We started making
a lot of money.
Copy !req
1076. And wouldn't you know it,
some of Brenda's girlfriends
Copy !req
1077. decided they wanted
to be a part of it.
Copy !req
1078. Pretty soon, there were about 14
ladies that I was protecting
Copy !req
1079. while they gave me money.
Copy !req
1080. That's called
a stable of whores.
Copy !req
1081. We decided I shouldn't
use my real name.
Copy !req
1082. So we came up
with the name "Gator."
Copy !req
1083. I'm telling you,
you were a pimp.
Copy !req
1084. No! Are you even
listening to the story?
Copy !req
1085. Anyway, one day, I wake up
and I look in the mirror,
Copy !req
1086. and I don't like what I see.
Copy !req
1087. I mean, I had gotten out of control,
and I didn't even realize it.
Copy !req
1088. You can't have a conscience
in the pimp game.
Copy !req
1089. One night, two of
my favorite girls,
Copy !req
1090. Candy and Jolene, said,
"We gotta take you in,"
Copy !req
1091. and they dropped me off
at the emergency room.
Copy !req
1092. That's where I met Sheila.
I was a mess.
Copy !req
1093. I made a promise
to myself and to her
Copy !req
1094. that I would never get
out of control again.
Copy !req
1095. So, as soon as
I graduated from college,
Copy !req
1096. I became an accountant
for the police department.
Copy !req
1097. The most stable job
I could think of.
Copy !req
1098. An accountant
for law and order.
Copy !req
1099. I just don't wanna ever feel out
of control like that ever again.
Copy !req
1100. Don't worry.
I got your back.
Copy !req
1101. Now I say we go get in Ershon's
grill and see if he cracks.
Copy !req
1102. I'm tired of all this
tippy-toeing around.
Copy !req
1103. Okay.
Copy !req
1104. You can either
walk the plank or take your panties off.
Copy !req
1105. The choice is yours.
Copy !req
1106. I want to take my panties off.
Copy !req
1107. You've made a wise
choice, you have.
Copy !req
1108. Mr. Ershon,
Detective Gamble
Copy !req
1109. and the officer who shot
Derek Jeter are here.
Copy !req
1110. Gentlemen, please.
Copy !req
1111. Remember us, hotshot?
Copy !req
1112. Of course I do.
Please, sit.
Copy !req
1113. There she blows.
Copy !req
1114. Two of those
Russian waters, please.
Copy !req
1115. No lime wedges,
just cucumber.
Copy !req
1116. Guess where
we just came from?
Copy !req
1117. An explosion at
your accounting office.
Copy !req
1118. Yes, that awful
gas leak.
Copy !req
1119. Gas leak?
The only gas leak
Copy !req
1120. is the one coming out
of your mouth right now.
Copy !req
1121. I just thank God no one was hurt
or injured in a bad way.
Copy !req
1122. I absolutely abhor death.
Copy !req
1123. Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The jig is up, okay?
Copy !req
1124. We know that wasn't your security
team that grabbed you.
Copy !req
1125. And we know you're targeting
a big fish to cover losses.
Copy !req
1126. You talk or I beat you
so it don't show no bruises.
Copy !req
1127. God, this water is good.
Terry, have you tried the water?
Copy !req
1128. Shut up, Allen.
Copy !req
1129. I assure you, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
1130. I understand there was
a bit of a mix-up
Copy !req
1131. with the whole
scaffolding business.
Copy !req
1132. The cucumber accents the water
in such a way that...
Copy !req
1133. Perhaps by way of apology, I can
offer you my personal courtside seats
Copy !req
1134. for the Knicks game, with
access to the Ambassador Club.
Copy !req
1135. Come on, Knicks!
Come on!
Copy !req
1136. I got Knicks' fever
and it's catching!
Copy !req
1137. Hey. This feels
weird sitting here.
Copy !req
1138. It feels like
it's a bribe.
Copy !req
1139. It is a bribe.
Copy !req
1140. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw
courtside and I went blind.
Copy !req
1141. Come on.
Copy !req
1142. Call me!
Copy !req
1143. - Excuse me.
- That was a trick.
Copy !req
1144. No more.
Copy !req
1145. Gentlemen, you have a choice.
Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.
Copy !req
1146. Fantastic! You're
so unbelievable!
Copy !req
1147. Damn it.
He did it again.
Copy !req
1148. - Excuse me.
- No more tickets.
Copy !req
1149. Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep
them in the waiting room.
Copy !req
1150. That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters
with Mediterranean limes.
Copy !req
1151. No, no, no. No more water.
We're not here for that.
Copy !req
1152. No, I was very much looking
forward to having a water.
Copy !req
1153. How great is Jersey Boys?
Copy !req
1154. It's not great.
It's fantastic!
Copy !req
1155. You totally undersold it.
The pageantry, the costumes.
Copy !req
1156. Wow, what a musical.
Copy !req
1157. Hey. Get over here.
Copy !req
1158. What's wrong with you?
What?
Copy !req
1159. That's not what
we're here for.
Copy !req
1160. We're gonna do good cop,
bad cop. Okay?
Copy !req
1161. It's the oldest game
in the book for a reason, it works.
Copy !req
1162. I come strong,
then you come in.
Copy !req
1163. - You got it?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1164. I come strong,
then you come in.
Copy !req
1165. Right. Got it.
Copy !req
1166. Now you listen to me,
you piece of shit.
Copy !req
1167. It's just you and me,
and I'm gonna rip you apart!
Copy !req
1168. How did you cover
your losses up? Huh?
Copy !req
1169. What drug cartel
are you working with now?
Copy !req
1170. Okay, I'll talk to you,
you're reasonable!
Copy !req
1171. No, no, look at me!
Copy !req
1172. You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me?
Copy !req
1173. Allen, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Allen!
Copy !req
1174. I'm gonna make you eat
a plate of human shit!
Copy !req
1175. Get away from me!
Copy !req
1176. Where is he?
Copy !req
1177. Look, I'm really
sorry about that.
Copy !req
1178. I saw how aggressive
you were being, and I thought,
Copy !req
1179. "Wow, I gotta go
even bigger than that,
Copy !req
1180. "since we're doing
bad cop, bad cop."
Copy !req
1181. What? No, I said,
"Good cop, bad cop."
Copy !req
1182. I'm the bad cop,
you're the good cop.
Copy !req
1183. Okay, then there it is.
That's it.
Copy !req
1184. I thought you said,
"Bad cop, bad cop."
Copy !req
1185. Well, while you
were going crazy,
Copy !req
1186. look what I snagged
from his desk.
Copy !req
1187. - Think it's his phone sheet.
- Oh. Nice.
Copy !req
1188. Seven calls
to the lottery office.
Copy !req
1189. That could be the evidence
we need for Mauch.
Copy !req
1190. Get back.
Colombian drug lords.
Copy !req
1191. Where are you
getting that from?
Copy !req
1192. Jesus!
Copy !req
1193. Can you imagine where
you'd be in your career
Copy !req
1194. if you hadn't shot Jeter?
Copy !req
1195. We call this in, right?
Copy !req
1196. Looks like we got
all the evidence we need.
Copy !req
1197. I'm sorry,
my butterfly.
Copy !req
1198. We'll load them up,
send them back to go.
Copy !req
1199. Holy shit.
Copy !req
1200. What?
Copy !req
1201. What do you mean,
what? Where are we?
Copy !req
1202. We're in the high desert.
Copy !req
1203. They took
my shoes again, man!
Copy !req
1204. What the hell is it
with taking shoes?
Copy !req
1205. - They took your wooden gun?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1206. - Hello?
- Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain.
Copy !req
1207. Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
Copy !req
1208. Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
What's going on?
Copy !req
1209. Captain, it's a long story,
but I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
Copy !req
1210. We are in Las Vegas,
all right?
Copy !req
1211. We were kidnapped, put on a
freight train, and shipped out here.
Copy !req
1212. Let me just stop you right there.
Don't bullshit me.
Copy !req
1213. Captain, I am being
straight with you.
Copy !req
1214. Look, we think
something's going on, okay?
Copy !req
1215. We think Ershon is targeting the
lottery to cover his losses.
Copy !req
1216. Wait. How many times did I explicitly
say to you, "Lay off Ershon"?
Copy !req
1217. Terry, Captain wants to know
Copy !req
1218. how many times has he
asked us to lay off Ershon.
Copy !req
1219. Twice.
Copy !req
1220. Twice. Terry says twice.
I agree.
Copy !req
1221. I'm hanging up.
I'm done.
Copy !req
1222. I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand
for that, a taste for that Pai Gow.
Copy !req
1223. Martin and Fosse,
super cops, in three, two...
Copy !req
1224. So, we busted that junkie.
Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou.
Copy !req
1225. Solved the Castien case.
Copy !req
1226. $74,000?
That's all they took?
Copy !req
1227. There's millions of dollars
of diamonds in that place.
Copy !req
1228. How about this, Gamble?
How about you shut your face?
Copy !req
1229. All right?
Just shut it.
Copy !req
1230. Hoitz, Gamble,
Captain's looking for you.
Copy !req
1231. I know it's off the subject,
but is Kevlar copyrighted?
Copy !req
1232. - Captain?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1233. - Is it a bad time?
- No, come on. Come on.
Copy !req
1234. - Not me, right?
- Yeah, and you.
Copy !req
1235. Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with
the venerable DA Radford.
Copy !req
1236. He wanted to come down
and pay us a visit.
Copy !req
1237. Hello, gentlemen.
Copy !req
1238. - Hello, sir.
- Hey.
Copy !req
1239. You know, I was
talking to Gene here.
Copy !req
1240. He prefers "Captain."
Copy !req
1241. Yes, I was talking to Gene here,
and, you know, it's funny.
Copy !req
1242. I don't know what you two
have been up to,
Copy !req
1243. but I've been getting calls from people
I don't ever get calls from.
Copy !req
1244. In 40 years of enforcing the law,
I've learned one thing.
Copy !req
1245. When that happens, stop.
Copy !req
1246. Gene, how's the family?
Copy !req
1247. Good, good, Louis,
thanks for asking.
Copy !req
1248. - My son's bisexual, so...
- Tremendous.
Copy !req
1249. Gentlemen, do we
understand each other?
Copy !req
1250. Cut the crap!
Copy !req
1251. Will do.
Copy !req
1252. Guy never comes down here.
Copy !req
1253. Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy
in this building one time.
Copy !req
1254. He's a heavyweight cat,
that guy.
Copy !req
1255. He was sitting right here.
Copy !req
1256. Yeah. I think you missed
the point. Anyway, look.
Copy !req
1257. Blue and white found
your firearms down
Copy !req
1258. by the Hudson River.
Here you go, Terry.
Copy !req
1259. You know what?
Copy !req
1260. I'm gonna hang on
to the wooden gun.
Copy !req
1261. - To give me back my real gun?
- No.
Copy !req
1262. 'Cause I'm gonna
give you this.
Copy !req
1263. It's a rape whistle. You blow that
if you run into any trouble
Copy !req
1264. and someone with an actual gun
will come and help you out.
Copy !req
1265. We were abducted, Captain!
This shit is real!
Copy !req
1266. Ershon's dirty.
He's targeting the lottery!
Copy !req
1267. Next, I want you guys
to hand in all the evidence
Copy !req
1268. you think you have
to the SEC.
Copy !req
1269. The financial district's
under their jurisdiction.
Copy !req
1270. Don't you get it?
This case is talking to us!
Copy !req
1271. I'm a peacock, Captain!
You gotta let me fly on this one!
Copy !req
1272. You know what, Terry?
Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly.
Copy !req
1273. They fly, they fly
a little bit.
Copy !req
1274. Yeah, about
as much as a penguin.
Copy !req
1275. One more thing, do me a favor,
don't go chasing waterfalls.
Copy !req
1276. Was that accidental, or were you trying
to quote TLC on purpose?
Copy !req
1277. I don't even understand
the reference.
Copy !req
1278. - You don't understand what you said?
- I don't know what that is.
Copy !req
1279. Get out. Go.
Copy !req
1280. How did they get
that story?
Copy !req
1281. I'm tired of being
treated like a jerk
Copy !req
1282. for trying
to do the right thing.
Copy !req
1283. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
1284. There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment
of the pension coming up,
Copy !req
1285. so if you just wanna
come by the old...
Copy !req
1286. Damn it, Bob!
Copy !req
1287. Let me ask you something.
Copy !req
1288. What do you even do around here
besides interrupt people?
Copy !req
1289. Well, I serve as
treasurer to the union.
Copy !req
1290. I make a wicked
pot of decaf.
Copy !req
1291. Exactly! You're a worthless
piece of shit!
Copy !req
1292. Probably right, Terry. That's why
I feel so sad all the time.
Copy !req
1293. I'm gonna go for a walk.
Copy !req
1294. - Bob!
- Say something.
Copy !req
1295. Come on! Bob!
Copy !req
1296. I didn't mean it,
all right? I'm upset.
Copy !req
1297. These braised short ribs taste
like a dog's asshole.
Copy !req
1298. - Sweetie.
- You know what, I'm sitting here thinking,
Copy !req
1299. "Who in the world would
slow roast a dog's asshole
Copy !req
1300. "and serve it
to their husband?"
Copy !req
1301. You would.
Copy !req
1302. You are being awful.
What's wrong?
Copy !req
1303. Captain took us
off the case.
Copy !req
1304. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1305. I told Terry about
my dark days in college,
Copy !req
1306. and it brought up
some feelings.
Copy !req
1307. Well, honeydick,
that was a long time ago.
Copy !req
1308. You're not that
same person you were.
Copy !req
1309. No, you don't get it.
There is a darkness inside of me.
Copy !req
1310. It wants to get out.
It wants to walk around.
Copy !req
1311. It wants some
walking around money,
Copy !req
1312. and it wants to
buy some shoes.
Copy !req
1313. And it wants to walk up
with the people
Copy !req
1314. and say, "Hey, Gator
don't play no shit."
Copy !req
1315. - You feel me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1316. Gator never been
about that,
Copy !req
1317. never been about
playing no shit.
Copy !req
1318. - Sweetie, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
1319. I just...
Copy !req
1320. Remember that night we met?
Copy !req
1321. The attending physician
told me,
Copy !req
1322. "We got a drugged-out
pimp in the back."
Copy !req
1323. And I went back there,
and I pulled open that curtain,
Copy !req
1324. and I saw you.
Copy !req
1325. You were weak, scared,
Copy !req
1326. ass up, inflamed, crying.
Copy !req
1327. At that moment, I knew.
Copy !req
1328. "Hey, he's no pimp.
Pimps don't cry."
Copy !req
1329. Come lay with me. Be safe,
and let's make love. Come on.
Copy !req
1330. Every time you say,
"Be safe," it tears me apart.
Copy !req
1331. You gotta let me be
who I'm gonna be.
Copy !req
1332. Allen, I'm pregnant.
Copy !req
1333. Whose baby is that?
Copy !req
1334. Who's the man
who did that to you?
Copy !req
1335. Gator's bitches better
be using jimmies!
Copy !req
1336. I'm sorry. See, that's
what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
1337. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1338. You need to leave.
Copy !req
1339. Get out! Get out,
Allen! Get out!
Copy !req
1340. Hey.
Copy !req
1341. Hey. What are you
doing here?
Copy !req
1342. Come here when
I have lady troubles,
Copy !req
1343. which means I come here
about every night.
Copy !req
1344. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1345. Sheila and I got
into it tonight.
Copy !req
1346. She threw me out.
Copy !req
1347. Well, you're not a cop till your wife
throws you out of the house, partner.
Copy !req
1348. Does it bother you
that the Castien robbers
Copy !req
1349. only took 74 grand
in diamonds?
Copy !req
1350. They're junkies.
Who cares? I mean...
Copy !req
1351. I don't know if a junkie can go down
a 20-story zipline, though.
Copy !req
1352. How you fellas doing?
Copy !req
1353. We're about to have us a little screw
party in this red Prius over here
Copy !req
1354. if you wanna join us.
Copy !req
1355. Hey, are you Dirty Mike
and the boys?
Copy !req
1356. How do you know
who we are?
Copy !req
1357. You left
a note in that car.
Copy !req
1358. Police, shithead.
Copy !req
1359. He's a copper.
We gotta go. Come on!
Copy !req
1360. Hey! Goose it, boys!
They're cops!
Copy !req
1361. You turned my beautiful
Prius into a nightmare!
Copy !req
1362. We are gonna have
sex in your car! It will happen again!
Copy !req
1363. I don't know where
I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Copy !req
1364. Fortunately, I know where
you're gonna be drinking.
Copy !req
1365. Jack of All Trades.
Drinks on me. Come on.
Copy !req
1366. - No, I already have a beer.
- No, no, no, no.
Copy !req
1367. I'm talking about doing
some serious drinking.
Copy !req
1368. Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
Copy !req
1369. This sucks, man.
Work our ass off on this case,
Copy !req
1370. now we gotta hand over
all of our evidence?
Copy !req
1371. Yeah, it's not right.
Copy !req
1372. Oh, my God,
I'm hungover.
Copy !req
1373. So, you guys are
law enforcement?
Copy !req
1374. Yeah, we're an independent
government agency who,
Copy !req
1375. along with the FBI
and the Federal Reserve,
Copy !req
1376. regulate the stock market
and corporate fraud.
Copy !req
1377. And the Federal Reserve
is a prison?
Copy !req
1378. No, basically, it's a held-for-profit
bank that sets interest rates
Copy !req
1379. and loans money
to other banks.
Copy !req
1380. - Is that a wastebasket?
- Yeah, right there.
Copy !req
1381. Thank you.
Copy !req
1382. You all right?
Copy !req
1383. Holy hell!
Copy !req
1384. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
1385. I got so drunk last night.
Copy !req
1386. I think I thought a tube of
toothpaste was astronaut food.
Copy !req
1387. Come on in, fellas.
Copy !req
1388. You gotta be kidding me.
You're Ershon's lawyer.
Copy !req
1389. We're turning over
our investigation to you?
Copy !req
1390. Let me assure you there will
be no conflict of interest
Copy !req
1391. between me
and David Ershon.
Copy !req
1392. And if this were
an actual investigation,
Copy !req
1393. I would immediately
recuse myself.
Copy !req
1394. This is all the evidence
we have,
Copy !req
1395. and I truly hope
you take this seriously.
Copy !req
1396. Yes. Very much so.
Copy !req
1397. From everything I've heard,
I understand
Copy !req
1398. you guys are the best
at these types of investigations.
Copy !req
1399. Outside of Enron and AIG
Copy !req
1400. and Bernie Madoff,
Copy !req
1401. WorldCom, Bear Stearns,
Lehman Brothers.
Copy !req
1402. Okay. Thank you.
Thank you, Detective.
Copy !req
1403. - Would you like a seat, or you're fine?
- No, I'm good.
Copy !req
1404. Okay. Let me just
assure you fellas,
Copy !req
1405. David Ershon is
an upstanding citizen.
Copy !req
1406. I am playing squash with him
tonight at the club,
Copy !req
1407. and we're having dinner.
Copy !req
1408. You listen to me, you Windsor
knot-wearing monkey,
Copy !req
1409. you play squash
with Ershon, right?
Copy !req
1410. Your kids go
to school with his?
Copy !req
1411. How would you know
if he's clean or not?
Copy !req
1412. I will take a look
at your evidence,
Copy !req
1413. and I will take a second look
at the financials.
Copy !req
1414. And when I come back
and bust your ass,
Copy !req
1415. we're locking David Ershon
in the Federal Reserve!
Copy !req
1416. He still doesn't
understand the concept.
Copy !req
1417. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1418. We just handed all of our evidence
over to the bad guy's lawyer!
Copy !req
1419. Are you a big man, huh?
Copy !req
1420. - I'm talking to you.
- What?
Copy !req
1421. You wake up in the morning, you say,
"I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
Copy !req
1422. "Look, I'm wearing a belt!
Copy !req
1423. "I've got big boy
pants on!"
Copy !req
1424. - Stop!
- We don't, we don't do this!
Copy !req
1425. You're scaring the shit
out of me, man! Stop it!
Copy !req
1426. Is this how you conduct
yourself? In a democracy?
Copy !req
1427. What the hell
are you doing, man?
Copy !req
1428. I'm so tired of you getting angry
and yelling all the time.
Copy !req
1429. It's exhausting.
Copy !req
1430. I feel like I'm partners
with the Hulk.
Copy !req
1431. You wanna know why
I'm so angry all the time?
Copy !req
1432. 'Cause the more I try and do right,
the more I screw things up.
Copy !req
1433. We've got a possible jumper
at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.
Copy !req
1434. All units, fire department,
en route.
Copy !req
1435. SEC.
Copy !req
1436. Beaman's office.
Copy !req
1437. We have to go.
Copy !req
1438. - But the Captain.
- We have to go, Allen.
Copy !req
1439. All units,
I need a respondent.
Copy !req
1440. Possible jumper,
3 World Financial Center.
Copy !req
1441. Shit. It's Beaman!
Copy !req
1442. - He's gotta know something.
- Wesley!
Copy !req
1443. Detective Hoitz and Gamble.
We got this.
Copy !req
1444. I took an online class
at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
Copy !req
1445. I'm gonna need
a priest and a bullhorn.
Copy !req
1446. - I got no bullhorn.
- Does anyone have a bullhorn?
Copy !req
1447. Bullhorn, anyone?
Copy !req
1448. Truck.
Copy !req
1449. Police business.
I need to use your PA system.
Copy !req
1450. Okay, let me
turn it on.
Copy !req
1451. Mr. Beaman?
Mr. Don Beaman?
Copy !req
1452. It's Wesley. I know
Ershon's Wesley's...
Copy !req
1453. Look, there's a lot
to live for in this life.
Copy !req
1454. A lot of great things,
like soda pop,
Copy !req
1455. big fresh can of soda pop.
Copy !req
1456. They do not care!
Copy !req
1457. Give me this. I know how
to talk to him.
Copy !req
1458. Listen, we all know
you're a scumbag,
Copy !req
1459. and nobody cares about you.
Copy !req
1460. Rotten piece of shit.
Copy !req
1461. That's worse than
what I was saying.
Copy !req
1462. I'm not gonna
lie to you, Don.
Copy !req
1463. People down here are starting to
murmur that you don't have the balls to do it.
Copy !req
1464. - I don't care!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1465. I say you can do it.
Copy !req
1466. I mean, I don't
want you to jump.
Copy !req
1467. I'm just saying
you have the capability.
Copy !req
1468. Look, he's flying!
Copy !req
1469. Stop that.
Copy !req
1470. Half empty bottle of gin.
Chair knocked over.
Copy !req
1471. Look at this, it's a clear sign
of a struggle.
Copy !req
1472. Make sure you get
this, all right?
Copy !req
1473. Detectives, all your work's
done here. You can go.
Copy !req
1474. What about Ershon
targeting the lottery?
Copy !req
1475. You know why Ershon was calling
down to the lottery offices
Copy !req
1476. all those times?
Copy !req
1477. Because he was hooking up
with the Powerball girl,
Copy !req
1478. the one on TV with
all the numbered balls.
Copy !req
1479. Yeah. She filed a restraining
order on him last week.
Copy !req
1480. It was right there in front
of you the whole time.
Copy !req
1481. - Can't be.
- You guys are getting transferred.
Copy !req
1482. - What?
- Traffic.
Copy !req
1483. Yeah, that's right.
Copy !req
1484. You, you're gonna
walk a beat downtown.
Copy !req
1485. You're gonna walk
a beat downtown.
Copy !req
1486. It's done. No, no.
It's done.
Copy !req
1487. Captain, what are
you talking about?
Copy !req
1488. - Save yourselves some gas.
- Captain!
Copy !req
1489. Is there an appeal
process we can...
Copy !req
1490. Had to do what
you had to do, Captain.
Copy !req
1491. Ouch!
Copy !req
1492. Wow! That hurt.
Copy !req
1493. Excuse me.
Where's my car?
Copy !req
1494. Oh. They towed it.
Copy !req
1495. Couple of homeless people
were messing around in it.
Copy !req
1496. That's an official
police car.
Copy !req
1497. Could have fooled me.
Copy !req
1498. Wow, Mauch
was upset, huh?
Copy !req
1499. Really?
Copy !req
1500. The only thing I had to be proud of in
my life was being a detective.
Copy !req
1501. That was all I had.
Now it's gone.
Copy !req
1502. I know. I know.
You still got me.
Copy !req
1503. Don't you get it?
I don't want you, Allen, okay?
Copy !req
1504. I never did.
Copy !req
1505. I told you that scaffolding
violation was dogshit.
Copy !req
1506. I can't believe you still doubt me
after everything we've seen.
Copy !req
1507. It's a real case,
and I'm a real cop.
Copy !req
1508. We just got the wrong
target for Ershon.
Copy !req
1509. You carry a rape whistle.
Copy !req
1510. This is real cop work.
Copy !req
1511. There is nothing about you
that makes a man a man, okay?
Copy !req
1512. You got no gun, no car,
no wife, and now you got no partner.
Copy !req
1513. Leave me alone.
Copy !req
1514. A mutt case.
Copy !req
1515. Terry, I am a cop,
for your information, okay?
Copy !req
1516. A broken partnership.
Copy !req
1517. I'm a cop!
Copy !req
1518. And getting busted down
to a shitty assignment.
Copy !req
1519. Allen and Terry
hit the trifecta.
Copy !req
1520. But sometimes
when you get your ass kicked,
Copy !req
1521. that's when you find out
what's real…
Copy !req
1522. …and what needs doing.
Copy !req
1523. Whether it's
directing traffic…
Copy !req
1524. Come on!
Copy !req
1525. …or cracking
a multibillion dollar fraud.
Copy !req
1526. - Do you work here?
- Yeah, I do.
Copy !req
1527. The wrecking ball that
crashed into Castien down there.
Copy !req
1528. They also did damage
to your office?
Copy !req
1529. Some police officers
came by and sealed it off.
Copy !req
1530. Do you recall what
they looked like?
Copy !req
1531. One of them had
an Australian accent.
Copy !req
1532. You don't happen
to do any business
Copy !req
1533. for the state lottery,
do you?
Copy !req
1534. No. Our main client
is Lendl Global.
Copy !req
1535. Can I ask what
this is about?
Copy !req
1536. Gator needs his gat,
you punkass bitch!
Copy !req
1537. 'Cause that's
what a real cop is.
Copy !req
1538. No, I didn't say
"Lock her up."
Copy !req
1539. I never said,
"Look her up."
Copy !req
1540. A guy who does
what needs to be done.
Copy !req
1541. A guy who knows how
to use his dark side for good.
Copy !req
1542. And then you move
to Florida.
Copy !req
1543. One, two, three, attack!
Copy !req
1544. Terry, it's me.
Copy !req
1545. - Tap out. Tap out.
- It's me, Allen.
Copy !req
1546. Are you tapping out,
or are you hitting me in the face?
Copy !req
1547. I'm tapping you out!
Copy !req
1548. - You crazy? What are you doing, man?
- Shh!
Copy !req
1549. - They might be watching us.
- Could've killed you.
Copy !req
1550. - Turn out the lights.
- What?
Copy !req
1551. - They could be watching us.
- Who?
Copy !req
1552. I found some big
information, okay?
Copy !req
1553. About what?
Copy !req
1554. Some scary shit,
Terry. This is big.
Copy !req
1555. How'd you get in here?
This place is foolproof.
Copy !req
1556. We can't be too careful.
Copy !req
1557. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
1558. This place might be bugged.
Copy !req
1559. There's no bugs in here.
Copy !req
1560. First off, I missed you.
Copy !req
1561. What's going on?
Copy !req
1562. Did you hear
what I said?
Copy !req
1563. Fine, I kind of
missed you, too.
Copy !req
1564. Thank you.
Copy !req
1565. Okay. I found out whose
losses Ershon has to cover.
Copy !req
1566. - It's Lendl Global.
- What?
Copy !req
1567. Lendl staged the Castien
robbery as a distraction
Copy !req
1568. so they could break into
their own accounting firm next door.
Copy !req
1569. They then altered all the records
to cover the losses
Copy !req
1570. that Ershon had
cost them
Copy !req
1571. through all of his
bad investments.
Copy !req
1572. You're not supposed
to be doing this.
Copy !req
1573. You're supposed to
be walking the beat.
Copy !req
1574. I know. Pretty tricky,
though, huh?
Copy !req
1575. This is bad, Allen.
This is bad.
Copy !req
1576. No wonder the captain
wanted us to stay out of this.
Copy !req
1577. Yeah, I bet Beaman
started asking questions.
Copy !req
1578. - That's why they killed him.
- Oh, man.
Copy !req
1579. Here's the other thing.
Copy !req
1580. Tomorrow, there's a massive
business deal going down.
Copy !req
1581. Ershon's leading it.
Copy !req
1582. I still can't figure out who the poor
sucker is they're making the deal with,
Copy !req
1583. but we gotta stop it.
Copy !req
1584. It's time to let
the peacock fly.
Copy !req
1585. I'm not going, Allen.
I like what I do.
Copy !req
1586. So do I. We're cops.
Copy !req
1587. No. I like what I do now.
Copy !req
1588. I like working traffic.
It's a great gig.
Copy !req
1589. What?
Copy !req
1590. I like working traffic.
I'm not going with you.
Copy !req
1591. What is this
traffic bullshit?
Copy !req
1592. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
1593. I'm talking about my life.
Copy !req
1594. The corner I run on
54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums.
Copy !req
1595. It's Terry's intersection.
Copy !req
1596. And the traffic guys?
They're good guys.
Copy !req
1597. There's this
one guy, Phillip?
Copy !req
1598. He can pee in the urinal
from 20 feet.
Copy !req
1599. You've gotta see it,
Allen. You've got to.
Copy !req
1600. What happened to you?
What happened to this being our time?
Copy !req
1601. No way, Allen.
I'm out. I'm done.
Copy !req
1602. Get in the car.
Copy !req
1603. Come on, Allen.
We both know it's wooden.
Copy !req
1604. Apartment pop.
Now get in the car.
Copy !req
1605. You're not
gonna shoot me.
Copy !req
1606. Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the
second time I've ever fired this.
Copy !req
1607. So stop pointing it at me.
Copy !req
1608. Look, tomorrow morning, all I know
is I'm going to Mauch, all right?
Copy !req
1609. For what?
He doesn't care.
Copy !req
1610. He's been dodging
this case for too long
Copy !req
1611. and I want answers.
Copy !req
1612. I want him to look me
in the eye and tell me why.
Copy !req
1613. Turn on the news,
man. Nobody cares.
Copy !req
1614. I hope I'm not alone.
Copy !req
1615. Hope you bring it.
Copy !req
1616. We got a big day
out there. Big one.
Copy !req
1617. We got a full moon. People are
gonna be amped, all right?
Copy !req
1618. Let's see what we got
on hot tips, all right?
Copy !req
1619. Whoa.
Copy !req
1620. The new bathmats are in.
Copy !req
1621. One more thing. We got a serial
rapist in Crown Heights.
Copy !req
1622. Oh. Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my
other job. Ignore that. Forget that.
Copy !req
1623. Well, don't ignore it.
Copy !req
1624. If you live in Crown Heights,
you know, walk in pairs.
Copy !req
1625. Gene Mauch
to kitchen accessories.
Copy !req
1626. Gene Mauch to
kitchen accessories.
Copy !req
1627. I gotta go. Go get 'em.
Let's be careful out there.
Copy !req
1628. The oak.
Copy !req
1629. I like to keep
the oak together
Copy !req
1630. and the maple
separately, okay?
Copy !req
1631. And these
chopping boards?
Copy !req
1632. Hey, Captain.
Copy !req
1633. Hey, Allen. Hey,
how you doing?
Copy !req
1634. What are you doing here?
Are you here for the bathmats?
Copy !req
1635. I need you to be
straight with me.
Copy !req
1636. Straight with us.
Copy !req
1637. Hey, Terry.
Look at this.
Copy !req
1638. I thought you were
working traffic today.
Copy !req
1639. Let them block the box.
Copy !req
1640. Besides,
partners' code, right?
Copy !req
1641. - Thanks.
- Wow.
Copy !req
1642. Hey, why have you worked your
ass off trying to kill this case?
Copy !req
1643. All right, fine.
Copy !req
1644. I'm gonna tell you
guys something.
Copy !req
1645. You really went into
deep water on this one.
Copy !req
1646. You really went in deep.
Copy !req
1647. Ershon's connected to
all the higher ups,
Copy !req
1648. and I gotta save what little
ass I have left, okay?
Copy !req
1649. You keep hiding from
shit in the world,
Copy !req
1650. and eventually the world
comes to your front door.
Copy !req
1651. Nice.
Copy !req
1652. That's very nice.
Copy !req
1653. I heard it in an episode
of Touched By An Angel.
Copy !req
1654. You keep this thing
real quiet,
Copy !req
1655. and you make sure
you have real evidence,
Copy !req
1656. and maybe I'll see
what I can do.
Copy !req
1657. But if you make
a lot of noise
Copy !req
1658. and you attract
the media attention,
Copy !req
1659. and you bring
the DA in on this,
Copy !req
1660. I am out, okay?
Copy !req
1661. Yeah, we'll go in there
like church mice.
Copy !req
1662. But there's one case,
Copy !req
1663. one case in a career
where you go all in.
Copy !req
1664. This is it.
Copy !req
1665. All right. Then you
do us proud.
Copy !req
1666. 'Cause I don't
want no scrubs.
Copy !req
1667. Really?
Copy !req
1668. No.
Copy !req
1669. You're not aware
that's a TLC song?
Copy !req
1670. I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
1671. Second time.
You said chasing waterfalls,
Copy !req
1672. now you're saying
you don't want no scrubs.
Copy !req
1673. - I don't even understand the reference.
- It's like a tic.
Copy !req
1674. I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
1675. Remember, this thing gets
messy, we never talked.
Copy !req
1676. - You can trust us.
- Real quiet.
Copy !req
1677. You gotta creep.
Creep.
Copy !req
1678. Come on.
Copy !req
1679. You don't say "Creep-creep"
unless you're quoting TLC.
Copy !req
1680. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
1681. You know Danson and Highsmith
were not good cops, right?
Copy !req
1682. Yeah, I guess we kind of
knew that, but it's a drag.
Copy !req
1683. I mean, at a certain point,
who's left to be a hero?
Copy !req
1684. Not to be corny,
maybe it's you guys.
Copy !req
1685. You ready?
Copy !req
1686. - Yeah.
- Let's go.
Copy !req
1687. - No, but the highlights are great.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1688. - Sexy but serious.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1689. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1690. Who the hell are
all these people?
Copy !req
1691. I was only
expecting one man.
Copy !req
1692. You know, they're
just some people
Copy !req
1693. I owe money to who
wanted to be here.
Copy !req
1694. Who are they?
Copy !req
1695. Well, they are some Chechen
patriots, entrepreneurs.
Copy !req
1696. And the black chaps are some
businessmen from Nigeria.
Copy !req
1697. You owe money to the
Nigerians and Chechens?
Copy !req
1698. Yes. Yes, I do.
Copy !req
1699. You're a piece of work.
Copy !req
1700. Thank you.
Copy !req
1701. Probably best
to get started.
Copy !req
1702. This is good, baby. We're in the
game, we know the score.
Copy !req
1703. The only thing that bugs me is we still
don't know who Ershon's targeting.
Copy !req
1704. Is it the lotto?
Who is it?
Copy !req
1705. Who cares?
Some rich prick.
Copy !req
1706. I have to tell you, I am tremendously
excited by this deal.
Copy !req
1707. And I can assure you
that every dime of your money
Copy !req
1708. will be invested
with the utmost diligence.
Copy !req
1709. Your rates of return
are really exciting.
Copy !req
1710. We think our members
are gonna be just thrilled.
Copy !req
1711. Yeah. I mean, we've averaged,
like, 18% over the last 10 years.
Copy !req
1712. All right. Quiet as
a church mouse, in and out.
Copy !req
1713. I can feel that tingling in my balls
you were talking about.
Copy !req
1714. Beautiful.
Copy !req
1715. All right, listen up.
Copy !req
1716. I am Detective Gamble.
This is Detective Hoitz.
Copy !req
1717. We need your cooperation.
Copy !req
1718. David Ershon.
Copy !req
1719. You're under arrest
for fraud, embezzlement,
Copy !req
1720. and in connection to the
murder of Don Beaman.
Copy !req
1721. This is a bad idea.
Copy !req
1722. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
1723. Bob? What are
you doing here?
Copy !req
1724. I'm investing.
Copy !req
1725. Do you remember we talked about
that proxy vote a while back?
Copy !req
1726. - That is what it was for.
- Holy shit.
Copy !req
1727. It's a more aggressive investment
strategy for the pension.
Copy !req
1728. Allen! We're the suckers. They're
targeting the police pension fund.
Copy !req
1729. Gentlemen, you're here illegally
and without a warrant.
Copy !req
1730. We are within our rights
to take action.
Copy !req
1731. So much for quiet
as church mice!
Copy !req
1732. Go!
Copy !req
1733. Who the hell
are those guys?
Copy !req
1734. Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed
view tickets for Rock of Ages.
Copy !req
1735. Even I admit that's
not very tempting,
Copy !req
1736. but I'm not made of tickets,
God damn it!
Copy !req
1737. Jeanie! Get over here!
You, go get in the bloody car.
Copy !req
1738. That's it, mate.
Copy !req
1739. I have had it with this joker
and his wooden gun.
Copy !req
1740. They're gonna kill me.
And then they will kill you.
Copy !req
1741. Well, I'm gonna
kill you first!
Copy !req
1742. And then they will kill me.
Copy !req
1743. We have
two rogue police officers.
Copy !req
1744. They are armed
and dangerous,
Copy !req
1745. - and holding David Ershon hostage.
- Stupid pricks!
Copy !req
1746. It's us, we're good guys!
Copy !req
1747. Exactly. They're
the good guys.
Copy !req
1748. Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Copy !req
1749. I have a small apartment.
No one knows about it.
Copy !req
1750. I use it mainly for my
parents and prostitutes.
Copy !req
1751. Not at the same time.
That would be wrong.
Copy !req
1752. Let's hear it from
the top, every detail.
Copy !req
1753. I think the best way
to tell the story
Copy !req
1754. is by starting at
the end, briefly,
Copy !req
1755. then going back
to the beginning,
Copy !req
1756. and then periodically
returning to the end,
Copy !req
1757. maybe giving different characters'
perspectives throughout.
Copy !req
1758. Just to give it
a bit of dynamism,
Copy !req
1759. otherwise, it's just
sort of a linear story.
Copy !req
1760. Just tell us
what happened.
Copy !req
1761. I lost a bunch of money from some
people and now they want it back.
Copy !req
1762. What about Don Beaman?
Copy !req
1763. Beaman knew that I had
falsified my financials,
Copy !req
1764. so they sent down Wesley
to try and keep him quiet.
Copy !req
1765. He forced him at gunpoint
to drink a bunch of gin
Copy !req
1766. and then forced him
onto the ledge.
Copy !req
1767. It was only a matter
of time before he fell.
Copy !req
1768. At least we stopped you
from getting the pension fund.
Copy !req
1769. Well, but, yeah,
but you didn't.
Copy !req
1770. It's already in my account.
Copy !req
1771. By 9:00 in the morning,
it goes into the Lendl equity fund
Copy !req
1772. and from there
it's transferred
Copy !req
1773. to a dozen
offshore accounts.
Copy !req
1774. By 9:01, it's gone.
Copy !req
1775. Well, what if we stop
the transfer?
Copy !req
1776. But you can't.
I mean, there's a...
Copy !req
1777. What if we stop
the transfer?
Copy !req
1778. You'd have to be at
Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly,
Copy !req
1779. find the clerk,
get the routing number.
Copy !req
1780. We gotta stop it.
Copy !req
1781. There's no way.
Copy !req
1782. Every cop, the crazy Australian and
his crew, they'll all be after us.
Copy !req
1783. You could let me go, and I'll
give you $10 million each.
Copy !req
1784. It's not a bribe.
Copy !req
1785. Of course it's a bribe.
Copy !req
1786. You're offering to pay us
money to not do our job.
Copy !req
1787. It's not a bribe.
Copy !req
1788. We hang low here tonight.
Nobody knows about this place.
Copy !req
1789. We'll be safe.
And tomorrow, we hit it.
Copy !req
1790. First things first,
I gotta go see Sheila.
Copy !req
1791. No way,
it's too dangerous.
Copy !req
1792. Look, Terry, we don't know
what's gonna happen to us tomorrow,
Copy !req
1793. but tonight, I need to make
things right with Sheila.
Copy !req
1794. All right, go.
Go. Be careful.
Copy !req
1795. Thanks, I will.
Copy !req
1796. Will you say hi
to Sheila for me?
Copy !req
1797. - Okay.
- Okay-
Copy !req
1798. Tell her. Say Terry
was asking about you.
Copy !req
1799. He wants to make
sure you know
Copy !req
1800. that he'll be there for you
if anything happens.
Copy !req
1801. - Yeah.
- Drop of a hat, I'm there.
Copy !req
1802. Look, it's starting to get
a little weird, man.
Copy !req
1803. If something
happens to you,
Copy !req
1804. I need to be there
to take care of her.
Copy !req
1805. All of her wants,
her needs, and desires
Copy !req
1806. are now my responsibility.
Copy !req
1807. Why do you say it like
it's a predetermined thing?
Copy !req
1808. Just go, man.
Copy !req
1809. Okay. Thanks.
Copy !req
1810. Go.
Copy !req
1811. Janeco Gallery.
Copy !req
1812. Francine, it's Terry.
Please don't hang up.
Copy !req
1813. Please pick up.
Copy !req
1814. Hello.
Copy !req
1815. Hey, sweetie. I was praying
you'd be at your mom's house.
Copy !req
1816. You know what,
I can't talk any more.
Copy !req
1817. I think the phone's
being tapped.
Copy !req
1818. Oh! Baby, where are you?
I wanna see you.
Copy !req
1819. I'm near the place where we
did it three Halloweens ago.
Copy !req
1820. Do you remember?
Copy !req
1821. Okay, yeah, I got it.
Copy !req
1822. I'm just warning
you, though.
Copy !req
1823. Watch out. I think
they're watching the house.
Copy !req
1824. Don't worry, sweetie. I think I
have a way of talking to you.
Copy !req
1825. I have to admit, I wasn't
gonna come. I mean...
Copy !req
1826. After all those years,
after the restraining order.
Copy !req
1827. I was worried I might
not see you again.
Copy !req
1828. There's some very dangerous
people after him,
Copy !req
1829. and now
they're after us.
Copy !req
1830. It's just the old lady.
Copy !req
1831. Hello, Allen.
Copy !req
1832. Hello, Mama Ramos.
What are you doing out here?
Copy !req
1833. Sheila said she doesn't know what
happened and she wants you back.
Copy !req
1834. - She also says...
- Yes.
Copy !req
1835. she wants you on top
of her, holding her hair,
Copy !req
1836. and riding her like
a bucking bronco
Copy !req
1837. while she sucks your thumb
and says, "Mommy Iikey."
Copy !req
1838. You, you tell
your daughter...
Copy !req
1839. He said he'll
always love you.
Copy !req
1840. And he's so happy
that you're having his child.
Copy !req
1841. Allen.
Copy !req
1842. He also says that
Copy !req
1843. he wants you to stare into each other's
eyes without blinking while you do it.
Copy !req
1844. I love when
we do that, Mom.
Copy !req
1845. And then afterward,
Copy !req
1846. lick the sweat off
each other.
Copy !req
1847. I don't wanna do this.
Copy !req
1848. You say things
that are too personal.
Copy !req
1849. Okay, but just
one more thing.
Copy !req
1850. She said she loves you,
Copy !req
1851. and wants to hold your hand
and have iced tea with you.
Copy !req
1852. Come on. That's not
all she said.
Copy !req
1853. No.
Copy !req
1854. She says other things,
but I don't want...
Copy !req
1855. Please, please, please.
Copy !req
1856. You don't realize,
I may be killed tomorrow.
Copy !req
1857. Okay.
Copy !req
1858. She says she wants to unplug all
the clocks and the phones
Copy !req
1859. and have a three-day
sex marathon.
Copy !req
1860. That's more like it. Yeah.
Copy !req
1861. She wants to walk
wrong for a week
Copy !req
1862. because you guys
did it so hard.
Copy !req
1863. That's just lovely.
Copy !req
1864. No more! He says
things I can't say.
Copy !req
1865. It involves
a mannequin hand
Copy !req
1866. and an electric shaver
taped to a golf club.
Copy !req
1867. Now what'd she say?
Copy !req
1868. She says she loves you.
Copy !req
1869. I'm so sorry
about everything.
Copy !req
1870. And I just had to come here
tonight to tell you that I love you.
Copy !req
1871. And the reason why I act like
you're a plain wife is that
Copy !req
1872. I'm afraid that if I admit
to how stunning
Copy !req
1873. and intelligent
and wonderful you are,
Copy !req
1874. I'd just lose you.
Copy !req
1875. Shut up, Allen.
I love you.
Copy !req
1876. We have a place
that's safe. All right.
Copy !req
1877. I'm gonna break your hip.
Copy !req
1878. I'm about to do you
grandpa-style.
Copy !req
1879. I brought some music.
Copy !req
1880. Not what I would've
chosen, but screw it.
Copy !req
1881. All right. Let's go, Monday
morning, time to go to work.
Copy !req
1882. Let's do it.
Copy !req
1883. - You want my gate code?
- Shut up, man!
Copy !req
1884. That's Wesley!
Copy !req
1885. Yes!
Copy !req
1886. Where'd you learn
to drive like that?
Copy !req
1887. Grand Theft Auto!
Copy !req
1888. Shit, Allen,
they're coming.
Copy !req
1889. - Oh, my God!
- Shit.
Copy !req
1890. - Do something, Allen!
- Hold on, hold on.
Copy !req
1891. Someone's been playing
Grand Theft Auto.
Copy !req
1892. I did that!
Copy !req
1893. - I did that!
- Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1894. That's what
I'm talking about!
Copy !req
1895. We jackknifed them!
Copy !req
1896. Did you see that? It went backwards and
then turned upside-down.
Copy !req
1897. Gator turns vans
upside-down
Copy !req
1898. like they're in a crazy
washing machine!
Copy !req
1899. Why are you calling
yourself Gator?
Copy !req
1900. It's a nickname
I had in college.
Copy !req
1901. I used to run
a dating service.
Copy !req
1902. - He was a pimp.
- Yeah, I was. I was a pimp.
Copy !req
1903. Right now the streets
are a bloodbath.
Copy !req
1904. And, statistically speaking,
there's about 30 kids in here,
Copy !req
1905. 10 of you are gonna be dead
before your next birthday.
Copy !req
1906. Got a couple of tips,
help you guys stay out of jail.
Copy !req
1907. One, try your hardest
to not be black or Hispanic.
Copy !req
1908. - It's a good tip.
- Yeah. Two...
Copy !req
1909. Gentlemen, we got a hot one.
Copy !req
1910. Hoitz and Gamble
have Ershon hostage,
Copy !req
1911. high-speed car chase
in progress.
Copy !req
1912. Yes! Gun, gun!
Copy !req
1913. Pass up the guns. Pass them up.
Let's go, people.
Copy !req
1914. There we go. Anything,
any Tasers'? No?
Copy !req
1915. Good. Who wants to go
on a ride-along?
Copy !req
1916. I do!
Copy !req
1917. All right, you, sweetie.
Come on, let's go. Move.
Copy !req
1918. - Move! Let's go.
- Come on!
Copy !req
1919. Oh. Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering
the high-speed chase.
Copy !req
1920. Jesus!
Copy !req
1921. Who are those guys?
Copy !req
1922. They're Chechen investors.
Copy !req
1923. We were gonna do a Chechen
version of Dora the Explorer.
Copy !req
1924. Anyway, it went
terribly wrong.
Copy !req
1925. I feel like it's not fair
that they have a helicopter!
Copy !req
1926. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1927. Damn it.
Copy !req
1928. Watch your head.
God, your hair is soft.
Copy !req
1929. VO5 Hot Oil.
Copy !req
1930. You're gonna wreck! There's
cars coming from both directions!
Copy !req
1931. I'm not gonna wreck!
Copy !req
1932. - I'm gonna wreck! You're right!
- You want me to drive?
Copy !req
1933. This was
a very clever idea.
Copy !req
1934. They're gone.
Copy !req
1935. Let's go.
Copy !req
1936. They are Nigerians.
Yeah, I'd forgotten about them.
Copy !req
1937. This is a shortcut.
Copy !req
1938. Are you kidding me?
You cannot go down there.
Copy !req
1939. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1940. Hit him!
Copy !req
1941. - Where are we?
- Chelsea Pier.
Copy !req
1942. What the hell?
Copy !req
1943. Ow! Jesus!
Copy !req
1944. Them having a helicopter
is definitely cheating.
Copy !req
1945. Go!
Copy !req
1946. Come on!
Copy !req
1947. We're cops!
Hit the chopper!
Copy !req
1948. This is Martin and Fosse, en route.
Copy !req
1949. Back off!
This is our collar!
Copy !req
1950. Set up a perimeter.
No arrests until we get there!
Copy !req
1951. Take the light!
Copy !req
1952. Do not authorize
that transfer.
Copy !req
1953. This is David Ershon.
The transfer is for him.
Copy !req
1954. He will tell you not to authorize
it, okay? Tell him.
Copy !req
1955. Tell him!
Copy !req
1956. Yeah, do as they say.
Stop the transfer.
Copy !req
1957. Approve it.
Copy !req
1958. Now.
Copy !req
1959. Do not touch anything!
Copy !req
1960. I swear to God I'll blow
your head all over this desk.
Copy !req
1961. Not a person in this room
believes you'll shoot this clerk.
Copy !req
1962. Yeah?
Copy !req
1963. Thank you so much,
gentlemen,
Copy !req
1964. for the prompt delivery
of Mr. Ershon.
Copy !req
1965. I have two competing bids
from jilted investors.
Copy !req
1966. They're at 30 million,
and holding.
Copy !req
1967. - Wait! Can't you let me...
- Take him away.
Copy !req
1968. But computers.
Copy !req
1969. What if, one day,
they were in charge?
Copy !req
1970. Now if you don't shut up,
Copy !req
1971. I will cut your ear off with a butter knife.
Copy !req
1972. That's blunt. Blunt's worse
than if it's sharp.
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1973. Now!
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1974. You just stood there!
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1975. I didn't know that
"now" meant that.
Copy !req
1976. How am I supposed
to know that?
Copy !req
1977. - I knew what that meant.
- Shut up.
Copy !req
1978. You kill us
and you kill Ershon.
Copy !req
1979. You're out
30 million dollars.
Copy !req
1980. - Who's got the golden goose now, huh?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1981. Shit!
Copy !req
1982. He's still valuable
with a bullet wound, mate.
Copy !req
1983. He immediately
called your bluff.
Copy !req
1984. Get up.
And kill the police.
Copy !req
1985. I just wanna make
sure I get it right.
Copy !req
1986. Did you want this transfer
approved or not approved?
Copy !req
1987. You, mate, I'm gonna
kill just for fun.
Copy !req
1988. Police, don't move!
Drop your weapons!
Copy !req
1989. Drop it, or be dropped,
homeboy!
Copy !req
1990. I hope you like
prison food and penis.
Copy !req
1991. Police! Down
on the ground!
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1992. Let me see your hands!
Copy !req
1993. Hey, hey, you okay?
Copy !req
1994. Hey.
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1995. Hey, Gene.
Captain. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1996. - I'm sorry.
- That's okay. Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
1997. You can call me Gene
when we're not in the office.
Copy !req
1998. Okay. Thanks
for coming by.
Copy !req
1999. Attaboy.
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2000. Come on, stay with me.
Stay with me.
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2001. We're losing him! We're
losing him! He's dying!
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2002. No. No, no, no, no. I'm just
resting. I'm just resting.
Copy !req
2003. - I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?
- I was just resting.
Copy !req
2004. - Are you all right?
- Just resting.
Copy !req
2005. Hey, let me
tell you something.
Copy !req
2006. As far as paperwork goes,
we'll take care of it.
Copy !req
2007. - You know why?
- Why?
Copy !req
2008. Ain't too proud to beg.
Copy !req
2009. Oh. Come on.
Copy !req
2010. - What?
- It's not funny anymore.
Copy !req
2011. I don't know what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
2012. TLC references.
Copy !req
2013. Still nothing.
I swear to you.
Copy !req
2014. I'm gonna go over
and check on Terry.
Copy !req
2015. I got a bad knee.
Hold on. There you go.
Copy !req
2016. It was the king
of the mutt cases,
Copy !req
2017. but Allen and Terry
had worked it like stars.
Copy !req
2018. Within 24 hours of learning
about Ershon's scheme
Copy !req
2019. and Lendl's massive losses,
Copy !req
2020. the government issued
TARP funds to bail out Lendl.
Copy !req
2021. Lendl is in everything,
Copy !req
2022. and we're gonna
go everywhere...
Copy !req
2023. They were too big to fail.
Copy !req
2024. Ershon now resides
in Palomino Federal
Copy !req
2025. Correctional Facility
in Florida.
Copy !req
2026. He still invests.
Currency's just different.
Copy !req
2027. Roger Wesley was linked
to the Beaman murder
Copy !req
2028. by security cam footage which
Martin and Fosse hadn't checked.
Copy !req
2029. It only showed the back
of their heads.
Copy !req
2030. But Allen's Faceback app was
able to get a match to their faces.
Copy !req
2031. Terry married Francine.
Copy !req
2032. He played harp at the reception
and it was beautiful.
Copy !req
2033. He had learned how to play it
in the eighth grade
Copy !req
2034. to make fun of the fairy
that lived up the street.
Copy !req
2035. Terry asked Sheila to be his best
man, but she declined.
Copy !req
2036. Let's be honest, we all wanna be
superstars and hotshots.
Copy !req
2037. But guess what?
Copy !req
2038. The people that
do the real work,
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2039. the ones that make
the difference,
Copy !req
2040. you don't see them on TV
or on the front page.
Copy !req
2041. I'm talking about the day-in,
day-outers, the grinders.
Copy !req
2042. Come on, man, you know who
I'm talking about: the other guys.
Copy !req
2043. Goldman Sachs. This case is
gonna be nasty.
Copy !req
2044. Hi. Cute glasses.
Copy !req
2045. - What was that?
- What?
Copy !req
2046. What? Dude, what is it
with you and hot ladies?
Copy !req
2047. What's your secret?
Copy !req
2048. Honestly, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Copy !req
2049. Tell me who you lost
your virginity to.
Copy !req
2050. She actually became a TV
actress. Heather Locklear.
Copy !req
2051. Heather Locklear, what?
Copy !req
2052. - You've heard of her?
- Come on!
Copy !req
2053. She was much chubbier back then.
Copy !req
2054. I don't get it.
I really, I don't get it.
Copy !req
2055. That was you. You don't have
a sense of humor.
Copy !req
2056. I do... I have a wonderful
sense of humor.
Copy !req
2057. All right, I'm gonna tell you
the best joke in the world.
Copy !req
2058. - We'll see if you laugh.
- Please.
Copy !req
2059. - I love jokes.
- All right.
Copy !req
2060. There was these two guys,
all right, partners, best friends.
Copy !req
2061. - Going moose hunting.
- Right.
Copy !req
2062. Looking around. Everywhere
they look, there's no moose.
Copy !req
2063. The guy's like, "You know what?
We gotta split up.
Copy !req
2064. - "You go this way. You go that way."
- Right.
Copy !req
2065. Next thing you know,
they lose sight of each other.
Copy !req
2066. All of a sudden, the guy hears
some rumbling in the bushes.
Copy !req
2067. - Sure.
- He starts heading over that way.
Copy !req
2068. Out comes his friend
in his orange suit.
Copy !req
2069. He's like, "Don't shoot.
I'm not a moose."
Copy !req
2070. And the guy
readies his weapon,
Copy !req
2071. points it right
at his face, and...
Copy !req
2072. - Shoots the guy.
- Whoa!
Copy !req
2073. So the guy runs over, he goes,
"What are you doing?
Copy !req
2074. "I told you
I wasn't a moose."
Copy !req
2075. And the guy goes, "I thought you said
you were a moose."
Copy !req
2076. But he's not a moose.
Copy !req
2077. Get the check-check from Shen-Shen.
Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
2078. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
Copy !req
2079. And cut.
Copy !req