1. I hear you're having troubles.
No wonder! Look at you.Copy !req
2. You wanna change your life
so you come to hear the story.Copy !req
3. High school popularity
ain't a contest, it's a war.Copy !req
4. Dizzy Harrison is its greatest casualty.Copy !req
5. See, his story is really my story.Copy !req
6. Because behind every so-called hero...Copy !req
7. is a little pissed off dude
that don't get no credit!Copy !req
8. We have to go back a ways.Copy !req
9. Even as a small child, Dizzy Harrison
had his own particular style.Copy !req
10. As you can see,
I didn't have a lot to work with.Copy !req
11. I hurt myself!Copy !req
12. Things didn't get any better from there.Copy !req
13. As the years went by,
he got taller, whiter, skinnier.Copy !req
14. First day, senior year.Copy !req
15. And we're gonna be the top dogs.Copy !req
16. - I wish I'd drowned this summer.
- We all do, Kirk.Copy !req
17. We'll always be blips.Copy !req
18. - Blips?
- We're barely on the radar!Copy !req
19. - Not this year. We're seniors now.
- I'm with Dizzy on this one.Copy !req
20. It's never too late to make a change.Copy !req
21. Full metal jacket.Copy !req
22. Dad, put those away!Copy !req
23. You're such a dork!Copy !req
24. I say we bail. Home schooling?Copy !req
25. - My dad could teach drinking.
- Nobody bails, bands stick together.Copy !req
26. Guys, relax.
Music has the power to transform.Copy !req
27. - There's some pain.
- Good luck, son!Copy !req
28. Yo, Blip? Little help?Copy !req
29. I'll never get used to that.Copy !req
30. Can anyone help me?Copy !req
31. Get out of the way!Copy !req
32. - You're not going to talk to her.
- That is Tina Ass-Good, man!Copy !req
33. Like a wood elf versus Al'Kabor.
You'll get power leveled!Copy !req
34. We're not playing EverQuest,
we're on Earth.Copy !req
35. Speak for yourself.Copy !req
36. I'm going in.Copy !req
37. Take that.Copy !req
38. I know I can do this.Copy !req
39. - Tina!
- You are?Copy !req
40. Dizzy.Copy !req
41. - You gonna help me, or what?
- Yeah!Copy !req
42. You got to know your...Copy !req
43. It's very technical.Copy !req
44. A blip is talking to Tina Osgood.
Look at my boy!Copy !req
45. Didn't they tie you up last year
and make you wear rubber breasts?Copy !req
46. You remember! That's really sweet.Copy !req
47. I imagine God having an ass like that.
Did that sound gay?Copy !req
48. I've been thinking, we're seniors now...Copy !req
49. and maybe sometime,
if you wanted to drink coffee...Copy !req
50. near me...Copy !req
51. I would pay.Copy !req
52. - Truthfully?
- Yeah.Copy !req
53. - You're not my—
- Type.Copy !req
54. You know those moments when a man makes
a decision that'll change his life...Copy !req
55. and he steps up to become the hero
he was meant to be?Copy !req
56. This ain't one of those moments.Copy !req
57. I thought about this type thing.Copy !req
58. To be honest, you're not my type either.Copy !req
59. Did you think that'd work?Copy !req
60. No, but I thought it was worth
giving it a shot.Copy !req
61. You know something?Copy !req
62. Yo, freak! What are you doing?Copy !req
63. Talking. Innocent conversation.Copy !req
64. Innocent? Then what's this?Copy !req
65. - Oh, my God! That's disgusting!
- Loser, nice pup tent!Copy !req
66. We need to cover you up.Copy !req
67. What is this?Copy !req
68. Mrs. Whitman! It's my...Copy !req
69. It's mine now!Copy !req
70. Is this a weapon? You can't bring
loaded weapons to school!Copy !req
71. You're tearing the skin!Copy !req
72. My deal!Copy !req
73. I'm showing this to Principal Zaylor.Copy !req
74. Cut it out!Copy !req
75. I know what you're thinking.
It's not medically possible.Copy !req
76. But let me ask you this. Are you a doctor?Copy !req
77. I have good news.
Your son's condition is treatable.Copy !req
78. What condition?
The fact that I can pee around a corner?Copy !req
79. - Watch your mouth.
- He can't help it.Copy !req
80. What's wrong with Dizzy,
in medical terms...Copy !req
81. it's called Tourette's syndrome.Copy !req
82. Tourette's syndrome?Copy !req
83. - Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Language, son.Copy !req
84. You won't cure him with force, Papa Bear.Copy !req
85. It's going to take a lot of hugs
and a lot of drugs.Copy !req
86. Only take one of these a day. Nice pack.Copy !req
87. There he is.Copy !req
88. Diz?Copy !req
89. They gave me these pills
for my Tourette's,Copy !req
90. but they're not working.Copy !req
91. Come on, it's not that bad.Copy !req
92. Not that bad?Copy !req
93. At least as blips...Copy !req
94. we were invisible.Copy !req
95. You break your dick
in front of the whole school...Copy !req
96. people remember that.Copy !req
97. His life is ruined.Copy !req
98. I mean, I'm an idiot.Copy !req
99. I'll never be able to go back
to school again.Copy !req
100. I need more of these pills.Copy !req
101. How can you be depressed with all this
beautiful church music playing?Copy !req
102. Yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
103. Thank you, brothers and sisters
of the Sunshine Gospel Choir.Copy !req
104. Very stirring. Very hip.Copy !req
105. - Amen!
- Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
106. Now, do the rest of you young people
know what else is hip?Copy !req
107. Sexual abstinence.
Can I get an amen on that?Copy !req
108. Amen!Copy !req
109. - Glory hallelujah!
- Glory hallelujah!Copy !req
110. - I said, glory hallelujah!
- Glory hallelujah!Copy !req
111. Glory hallelujah!Copy !req
112. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
113. brothers and sisters...Copy !req
114. I'd like to talk to you all about sex!Copy !req
115. - The devil's middle name, sex!
- Amen!Copy !req
116. Do you know what the best form
of sexual abstinence is?Copy !req
117. Being me.Copy !req
118. - Can I get an amen?
- Amen!Copy !req
119. Do you wanna talk about some pain?
Let me hear you!Copy !req
120. - That boy's got the spirit!
- He's an idiot!Copy !req
121. Has a member of the opposite sex
ever told you you're not her type?Copy !req
122. Let me hear you shout "Amen"...Copy !req
123. if you ever had duct tape
ripped off your naked buttocks!Copy !req
124. Let me hear you shout "Amen"Copy !req
125. if you ever had
your manhood right-angled...Copy !req
126. in front of the entire congregation!Copy !req
127. Now let me hear you shout "Amen" up high.Copy !req
128. - Amen!
- Let me hear you shout "Amen"!Copy !req
129. Diz was in pain. He was in trouble.
He needed guidance.Copy !req
130. He's about to get a lesson in bad,
from the best in the business.Copy !req
131. What happened to Paco?Copy !req
132. - I got no answer to that question.
- Back up. The new man is mine.Copy !req
133. Not the crazy eyes, Luther.
I was just messing.Copy !req
134. Been looking at my Janet?Copy !req
135. No. No way.Copy !req
136. Eighteen years and 41 days,
it's me and you, baby.Copy !req
137. Okay, I'm scared.Copy !req
138. Guard?Copy !req
139. Relax, white boy.Copy !req
140. What'd you do to get in here?Copy !req
141. I'm not really sure.
I've been heavily medicated lately...Copy !req
142. and the last thing that I remember
is my dad dropping me off at school.Copy !req
143. - You in high school?
- Yes.Copy !req
144. I still get chills thinking about it.Copy !req
145. Fish sticks!Copy !req
146. I've officially become
the biggest loser at my school.Copy !req
147. I don't think I'll be going back there.Copy !req
148. It's okay.Copy !req
149. I know what you mean.Copy !req
150. - I see that.
- I was the bitch at the last prison!Copy !req
151. I remember, they strapped me
to a chair with duct tape...Copy !req
152. - in a dress.
- With makeup?Copy !req
153. - And fake rubber breasts.
- Rubber breasts!Copy !req
154. My brother...Copy !req
155. come on over here and sit down.Copy !req
156. A high school...Copy !req
157. it's a lot like prison.Copy !req
158. Bad food, high fences.Copy !req
159. The sex you want, you ain't getting.
The sex you getting...Copy !req
160. you don't want.Copy !req
161. I've seen terrible things.Copy !req
162. Yesterday, an 80-year-old librarian
broke my penis.Copy !req
163. You win.Copy !req
164. How did you change things?Copy !req
165. I got myself thrown out of the last prison
and I started fresh here.Copy !req
166. That worked?Copy !req
167. Watch this.Copy !req
168. Wow!Copy !req
169. That's what I gotta do.
Switch prisons and start over.Copy !req
170. You gotta tell me what you did
to get kicked out.Copy !req
171. The first thing I did...Copy !req
172. is broke all the rules.Copy !req
173. I can break all the rules.Copy !req
174. - Then I started acting crazy.
- Yeah! I can act all crazy.Copy !req
175. I grabbed a broken mop handle
and snapped it across the warden's butt.Copy !req
176. I don't have to do this alone.
Let's all get expelled together.Copy !req
177. - That's okay. You can go.
- What about you, Glen?Copy !req
178. No, I talk big,
but I'm not as tough as I look.Copy !req
179. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
180. What are you thinking, Mr. Harrison?Copy !req
181. You know, you're right.
What am I thinking?Copy !req
182. Everybody, the answer
to number 23 is Guam.Copy !req
183. - Thanks, Broke-wood.
- Mr. Luberoff?Copy !req
184. Plenty more where this came from
at finals time.Copy !req
185. My Lord, Dizzy! Cheating, bribery?
Those are grounds for expulsion!Copy !req
186. Or an obvious cry for help.Copy !req
187. What's Broke-wood doing?Copy !req
188. That's Principal Zaylor!Copy !req
189. You're a fighter!Copy !req
190. Try this!Copy !req
191. Shit it! Shit it! Say mercy!Copy !req
192. You're almost at the head of the class!Copy !req
193. And, cut!Copy !req
194. This is the part of my job I hate.Copy !req
195. Expelling people?Copy !req
196. No, silly.
We're going to double your medication...Copy !req
197. increase your therapy,
and you may have to stay another year.Copy !req
198. Loser, how's it hanging?Copy !req
199. That toilet-cam was your best work ever.Copy !req
200. Looks like I'm stuck here
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
201. Or am I?Copy !req
202. - Hey! Hey!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
203. Halt!Copy !req
204. Did you just break that mop? Give me that!Copy !req
205. Yes!Copy !req
206. You destroyed school property.
You're expelled.Copy !req
207. Yes!Copy !req
208. - I did it. I busted out.
- I knew you had it in you.Copy !req
209. - Ready to be Luthercized?
- Preach, my brother!Copy !req
210. I'm gonna take you from bitch to bull.Copy !req
211. You wanna get a reputation
at your new school...Copy !req
212. you'll have to crack open heads, day one.Copy !req
213. Find the biggest, baddest cat
and whup his ass!Copy !req
214. - Make sure everybody sees him go down.
- Everybody sees him go down. Got it.Copy !req
215. You know, some people are born
with that knowledge.Copy !req
216. - Like Barclay.
- Who's Barclay?Copy !req
217. He's the bully at my last school.Copy !req
218. He might be born with it
but with my insights, street smartsCopy !req
219. and knowledge of every action movie,
we're gonna perfect it.Copy !req
220. Don't worry about that. Happens every day.Copy !req
221. Same cat. Never gets away. Come on.Copy !req
222. First thing you do is gouge
the dude's eyes outCopy !req
223. so he can't see to fight.Copy !req
224. Hey, this kid's in high school.Copy !req
225. Then you're going to want to fight dirty.
All right, set your feet.Copy !req
226. Spread your palms.Copy !req
227. Tiger Claw!Copy !req
228. Are you sure it's not Tiger Paw?Copy !req
229. Tiger Claw! Now you're ready!Copy !req
230. Just watch my hands.Copy !req
231. Grab some rope.
You gotta build some muscle.Copy !req
232. You act like you can't get up there.Copy !req
233. Motivation is on the way.Copy !req
234. Yes, indeedy, feed the needy.
There you go!Copy !req
235. Luther, what are you doing?Copy !req
236. - Get up there! That's it.
- What's that burning? It's me!Copy !req
237. Just roll around. You'll be all right.Copy !req
238. If you can't act tough,
you gotta look tough.Copy !req
239. Butch up, girlie-pants!Copy !req
240. - Got a sec?
- What?Copy !req
241. Phone call for you, warden.Copy !req
242. My wife again?Copy !req
243. I'll never get tired of that.Copy !req
244. You talk the talk,
you gotta walk the walk.Copy !req
245. Otherwise, you'll be lined in chalk.Copy !req
246. Let me introduce you to somebody.Copy !req
247. The Funkmaster.Copy !req
248. Somebody, give me a beat!Copy !req
249. Them crazy eyes?Copy !req
250. Like someone hits you in the head
and your eyes almost jump out your skull!Copy !req
251. Try it!Copy !req
252. This is the
"Brother, where my money" walk.Copy !req
253. Where it at?Copy !req
254. About to bust a cap. About to bust a cap.Copy !req
255. Flare your nostril up!
You gotta open them up.Copy !req
256. So everybody can see the rocks,
the boogers up in there.Copy !req
257. Loosen the ass.Copy !req
258. That's too loose.Copy !req
259. They'll play you like a bitch,
you gotta hit them with the bitch first!Copy !req
260. Like, "Who's the bitch now?"Copy !req
261. Watch this.Copy !req
262. Try it. Try it!Copy !req
263. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
264. Half Brad Pitt Fight Club,
half Anne Heche If These Walls Could Talk.Copy !req
265. For your student ID.Copy !req
266. Your new driver's license.Copy !req
267. This one's for the Player's Club.Copy !req
268. That ain't right.Copy !req
269. Really cock it! You know what I'm saying?
Cock it! Fire! Cock it!Copy !req
270. Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!Copy !req
271. Tiger Claw!Copy !req
272. Dude, pretty nice.Copy !req
273. Now you ready for your new prison.Copy !req
274. Mascot, you dropped your bagpipe.Copy !req
275. - Thank you.
- Suck on that, pal!Copy !req
276. Have a nice day!Copy !req
277. This place is a zoo!Copy !req
278. He did say 12:30.Copy !req
279. So where is he?Copy !req
280. What the hell is that?Copy !req
281. Good luck, kid.Copy !req
282. Flip him!Copy !req
283. Back in the truck!Copy !req
284. Is that...Copy !req
285. Diz?Copy !req
286. Oh, my God!Copy !req
287. He's got kind of a...Copy !req
288. Brad Pitt thing going there.Copy !req
289. From bitch to bull, baby.Copy !req
290. I saw a little Anne Heche there too.
Does that sound gay?Copy !req
291. "Find the biggest, baddest mother
in the yard, and knock his ass out."Copy !req
292. Lift your knees, maggots!Copy !req
293. Maybe we'll win
one sorry-ass game this year!Copy !req
294. I'm gonna puke.Copy !req
295. Use it. Keep looking
at the horse's ass and run!Copy !req
296. Biggest and baddest.Copy !req
297. More cheer, less pole dance.Copy !req
298. Don't want guys stuffing bills
down your panties.Copy !req
299. What panties?Copy !req
300. Don't I have a dreamy boyfriend?Copy !req
301. Make sure everybody sees him go down.Copy !req
302. Careful.Copy !req
303. You mind if I sit down?Copy !req
304. Wrong level, bitch.Copy !req
305. Bitch, say what?Copy !req
306. I think we got a serious problem here.Copy !req
307. If it's you, there's no prob—Copy !req
308. Dude, what's with you?Copy !req
309. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
310. You guys might want to come
scoop up your friend.Copy !req
311. Shit!Copy !req
312. Oh, God!Copy !req
313. What are you doing?Copy !req
314. Knocking you into the hall
and me into the history books.Copy !req
315. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
316. You've gotta be kidding me!Copy !req
317. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
318. Coming through!Copy !req
319. Look out! Coming through!
Take your hat off in school!Copy !req
320. Let's have a round of applause
for Conner Maguire.Copy !req
321. Everyone?Copy !req
322. Come on. Everyone? You!Copy !req
323. Come on. Don't be shy!Copy !req
324. Stop it, all of you!Copy !req
325. Hello, son.Copy !req
326. I told you last time, you start something,
you're what? You're gone!Copy !req
327. Well, my friend,
looks like it's last call.Copy !req
328. Last call?Copy !req
329. He didn't start it. I did.Copy !req
330. - Who the hell are you?
- I'm the new guy.Copy !req
331. - How's the nose?
- Shut up!Copy !req
332. Look at that freak,
sitting on top of the tower.Copy !req
333. - Move!
- We should unroll the welcome mat.Copy !req
334. I should go kick his ass.Copy !req
335. I've dreamed of dating the expelled guy.Copy !req
336. Expelled guys rock!Copy !req
337. Later.Copy !req
338. Later.Copy !req
339. You're not going over there.Copy !req
340. I wasn't.Copy !req
341. Now I am. Later.Copy !req
342. She just dissed you.Copy !req
343. Dude, shut up!Copy !req
344. Hey, new guy. Got a name?Copy !req
345. Harris, Gil Harris.Copy !req
346. I'm Courtney, that's Carmen,
that's Danielle.Copy !req
347. How do you like
our little slice of paradise?Copy !req
348. I gotta tell you...Copy !req
349. it's nice to be somewhere without bars.Copy !req
350. You were in jail?Copy !req
351. Did they give you
a full body cavity search?Copy !req
352. Forgive my friends.
They get shy around strangers.Copy !req
353. My fault, I talk too much.Copy !req
354. That's hot.Copy !req
355. There's a party tonight at my house,
if you can come.Copy !req
356. I don't make plans.Copy !req
357. Not my style.Copy !req
358. We love you, Rocky Creek!
We're here all week!Copy !req
359. We love Texas and we love you too!Copy !req
360. So I'm guessing it went well?Copy !req
361. In ten minutes, the first 18 years
of my life completely changed.Copy !req
362. - They bought it?
- Things have changed.Copy !req
363. You made it to the 50th level of Kunark.Copy !req
364. Better. I got invited to a party.
Dizzy Gillespie Harrison.Copy !req
365. - Excuse me while I do the bugaloo!
- Whoa, slow down, funky white boy.Copy !req
366. Did they invite you, or Gil Harris?Copy !req
367. Listen, the point is nobody stuffed me
in my locker or singed off my ass hair.Copy !req
368. - Please.
- No offense.Copy !req
369. Are you saying these chicks party
on a school night?Copy !req
370. Courtney does.Copy !req
371. That is without doubt
the sluttiest girl I have ever seen!Copy !req
372. - I know. Isn't it great?
- You have to do her.Copy !req
373. And while you're with her, think of me.
Okay, that sounded gay.Copy !req
374. Courtney is expecting Gil
at the party tonight.Copy !req
375. She's right, how would Gil Harris party?Copy !req
376. The question is, how would Gil
get jiggy with this chickCopy !req
377. and make her say, "Who's your daddy?"Copy !req
378. - While respecting her as a woman.
- Diz, you ready for this?Copy !req
379. - My dad loves this bike more than me.
- That's not true.Copy !req
380. No, it is. He wrote it
in my birthday card.Copy !req
381. So please be very careful.Copy !req
382. This is a vintage flat track racing bike.Copy !req
383. It's very powerful.Copy !req
384. You have to know what you're doing.Copy !req
385. Stand back.Copy !req
386. I'll start it for you.Copy !req
387. Remember, I won't always be around
to do that for you.Copy !req
388. Courtney got Tony Hawk
to come to her party?Copy !req
389. There's nothing cooler than that!Copy !req
390. That dude's crazy.Copy !req
391. Hey, man! These are Dockers!Copy !req
392. I made it.Copy !req
393. Bush!Copy !req
394. Hey!Copy !req
395. - Courtney, did you see that Indy 360?
- Tony, please.Copy !req
396. Randy, did you see that Indy Three?
I could do it again.Copy !req
397. Have any trouble finding the house?Copy !req
398. Well, aren't you the strong, silent type?Copy !req
399. - Well, I...
- Wanna come upstairs with me?Copy !req
400. Wanna make out with me?Copy !req
401. Wanna take my clothes off with your teeth?Copy !req
402. Okay, you talked me into it.Copy !req
403. Aren't you coming?Copy !req
404. Almost.Copy !req
405. - Courtney is such a slut.
- You dated her for two months.Copy !req
406. It was four.Copy !req
407. You wanna dance, new guy?Copy !req
408. Know why I like it out here?Copy !req
409. - The view?
- No, because of all these people around.Copy !req
410. Doesn't it turn you on,
knowing we could be caught at any moment?Copy !req
411. Yeah, well, that does
make things interesting.Copy !req
412. Wanna make out?Copy !req
413. Okay.Copy !req
414. I forgot something.Copy !req
415. Ready for dessert?Copy !req
416. Gil?Copy !req
417. Hello?Copy !req
418. - What's the matter?
- I can't believe it.Copy !req
419. - What happened?
- Gil blew me off.Copy !req
420. - Sucks to be you.
- Carmen, put it away.Copy !req
421. Honey, I knew that boy was trouble.Copy !req
422. I know what you're thinking,
"He's too good-looking for me."Copy !req
423. ¿Hola, habla inglès? Hello!Copy !req
424. - Where'd you come from?
- Exercising. Got a problem?Copy !req
425. No, it's cool.Copy !req
426. - What does that hit... lats, tris, bis?
- These are bat-curls, for the abs.Copy !req
427. Cool! Did you really blow off Courtney?Copy !req
428. You can tell us.Copy !req
429. - You blow her off?
- I didn't exactly blow her off.Copy !req
430. Stop right there.Copy !req
431. Any dude who disses Courtney must date
the most outrageous women on earth!Copy !req
432. - Hey, what can I say?
- "What can I say?" You are the man!Copy !req
433. You are the man!Copy !req
434. I say you're a fraud.
I don't think you've been with anyone.Copy !req
435. Yeah, you're right.Copy !req
436. She's not just anyone.Copy !req
437. - This babe's got it all!
- Yes, she does.Copy !req
438. I bet she knows how to make a guy happy!Copy !req
439. I'd love to stay and chat...Copy !req
440. but Josefina's waiting for me.Copy !req
441. You're not going anywhere.Copy !req
442. Don't make me do crazy eyes.Copy !req
443. Josefina. Exotic! ¡Me gusta Josefina!Copy !req
444. Guys! Don't you see what's going on here?Copy !req
445. Yeah, to get chicks,
we gotta work on our abs!Copy !req
446. Let's go. Come on!Copy !req
447. - Come on, up.
- Ready? One, two...Copy !req
448. I got it! Check me out, baby! Bat-wings!Copy !req
449. - Hey, chump change, get down!
- Bat-wings, baby!Copy !req
450. Watch, everyone!Copy !req
451. That bike won't even start.
He trashed it when he landed.Copy !req
452. Please start.Copy !req
453. It's a full-time job
trying to save his butt.Copy !req
454. I almost got laid!Copy !req
455. Did he say, "brake"?Copy !req
456. I almost got laid!Copy !req
457. Waiting up for me?Copy !req
458. - Yes, we are.
- We?Copy !req
459. Hi. Hey.Copy !req
460. - Dad, what is Miss Pierce doing here?
- Kiki's here to help.Copy !req
461. - With what?
- An intervention.Copy !req
462. We're surrounding you with love.Copy !req
463. Now sit.Copy !req
464. Okay. Dramatic change in appearance,
lack of communication...Copy !req
465. altered patterns of behavior.Copy !req
466. What're you on?Copy !req
467. Is it crystal meth?Copy !req
468. Is it the crank?
Are you riding the white pony, son?Copy !req
469. No, I'm not on drugs, Dad. I'm happy.Copy !req
470. For the first time in
I can't remember when, I'm happy.Copy !req
471. It occurs to me to tell you
that denial is not just a river in Egypt!Copy !req
472. Look, son, it's all my fault.Copy !req
473. I was so worried about alarms going off
at work, I missed the ones at home.Copy !req
474. I'll make it up to you.Copy !req
475. I'm quitting my job
so we can be together 24/7.Copy !req
476. - How will you pay the mortgage?
- I'll sell the house.Copy !req
477. Dad, do not, I repeat, do not do that.Copy !req
478. There's no way for you to understand this.
But when things get truly bad,Copy !req
479. you got to make a drastic change.Copy !req
480. Completely revamp everything in your life
to get what you want.Copy !req
481. I do understand. I'm not sick.Copy !req
482. I'm revamped!Copy !req
483. It's very sweet.
Underneath the Tourette's and the crank...Copy !req
484. he still wants to be like his daddy.Copy !req
485. - I'm so on to you.
- You are?Copy !req
486. You pretend
you're not part of this school,Copy !req
487. but you like being a badass.Copy !req
488. - You caught me.
- And that's why I want to use you.Copy !req
489. Okay, but only for a couple of years.Copy !req
490. Come to the football game
this weekend. Nobody shows.Copy !req
491. It's more acceptable to drink and puke
than it is to watch a game.Copy !req
492. It's hard work, not caring.Copy !req
493. If you show up,
maybe some of these other fools would.Copy !req
494. I'm in.Copy !req
495. What?Copy !req
496. My grandmother's Albanian.
It means, I owe you one.Copy !req
497. - What's that about?
- Just asking the new guy a favor.Copy !req
498. What could you need from him?Copy !req
499. Just things I'm not getting elsewhere.Copy !req
500. Come on, East Highlands! Okay, ready?Copy !req
501. Danielle finally dragged you to a game.Copy !req
502. I'm not at the game, I'm with you guys.
I just like to watch her jump around.Copy !req
503. Yeah, right!Copy !req
504. - Ride him, cowboy!
- Will you shut up?Copy !req
505. Man, that's not funny.Copy !req
506. Come on, East Highland!
Come on, people. Guys?Copy !req
507. Hello?Copy !req
508. One. One, two, three.
Two. One, two, three.Copy !req
509. This is bullshit! We haven't won
in five years. Let's forfeit.Copy !req
510. - We're dead anyway.
- Ten, hut!Copy !req
511. He's out of his mind.Copy !req
512. Dead? Did you say dead?Copy !req
513. All this hoo-hah about being dead
and not wanting to fightCopy !req
514. is a load of crap!Copy !req
515. Did we give up
when Pearl Harbor was bombed?Copy !req
516. Didn't that movie make money?Copy !req
517. We didn't give up then,
and we're not going to give up now!Copy !req
518. American high school students
traditionally love to fight!Copy !req
519. All real football players
love the sting of battle!Copy !req
520. The only thing we have to fear is...Copy !req
521. fear itself.Copy !req
522. What is wrong with you people?Copy !req
523. Where's the hunger?
Where is the school spirit?Copy !req
524. Washington High? We're gonna beat them!Copy !req
525. Lincoln High? We're gonna beat them!Copy !req
526. Harding High?Copy !req
527. We're gonna beat them.Copy !req
528. Yes!Copy !req
529. - Let's do it.
- Let's do it!Copy !req
530. That's my goddamn horse!Copy !req
531. Hit them high, hit them low!Copy !req
532. Break!Copy !req
533. - Yes!
- Touchdown! Touchdown!Copy !req
534. How about that, Highlander fans?Copy !req
535. That's our first victory
since the last Bush was president.Copy !req
536. We won a game!Copy !req
537. Can you believe it?
We actually won a game!Copy !req
538. Go, Highland!Copy !req
539. What the hell's going on?Copy !req
540. You're insane, but thank you.Copy !req
541. - How'd you learn to say "you're welcome"?
- From an Albanian chat room.Copy !req
542. - You're impressed by a guy on a horse?
- No, because he showed up for me.Copy !req
543. Let's go.Copy !req
544. - She just dissed you again.
- Dude, do you ever shut up?Copy !req
545. - Most guys would never go shopping.
- Well, I'm not most guys.Copy !req
546. You did say swimsuits, right?Copy !req
547. Thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
548. Sorry about that.
I've been in prison a long time.Copy !req
549. - Now this is real music.
- If I listen to this, I'll get you?Copy !req
550. That's what I'm talking about. All right.Copy !req
551. Danielle, I didn't see you come in.Copy !req
552. Hey, Emily.Copy !req
553. How's it going?Copy !req
554. - Great. How about you?
- Great.Copy !req
555. Hey, do you have the new Creed CD?Copy !req
556. Yeah, I'll check for you.Copy !req
557. - Who's that?
- Emily. We used to be friends.Copy !req
558. - What happened?
- I started dating Conner,Copy !req
559. - you know how things go.
- I understand.Copy !req
560. Come on, you're not the type
who'd drop your friends.Copy !req
561. - Time to go!
- I'm shopping here!Copy !req
562. You've been listening to this song
for hours! You're squatting!Copy !req
563. Listen, bro, I've had a bad day,
so squat on this, pukeface!Copy !req
564. - That's it!
- Seth, you're not a bouncer anymore.Copy !req
565. - You've moved up.
- Who can toss her better?Copy !req
566. - Would you relax?
- Come on, I'm sick of this!Copy !req
567. - Diz, you made it!
- Perfect timing.Copy !req
568. I thought you never check
the EQ message boards.Copy !req
569. Gil, do you know these people?Copy !req
570. No.Copy !req
571. Let's go.Copy !req
572. We've found a pair of balls.
Wait, there's a name here.Copy !req
573. Dizzy Harrison,
pick up your balls and scrotum.Copy !req
574. That's balls and scrotum, at counter five.Copy !req
575. You know what? I have all these.Copy !req
576. That's my microphone!Copy !req
577. Oh, no. Please don't!Copy !req
578. Harris, get your punk ass in here!Copy !req
579. - What are you doing here?
- You stole my horse, maggot!Copy !req
580. You know the penalty in this state
for stealing another man's horse?Copy !req
581. Death?Copy !req
582. This isn't Iraq, son.Copy !req
583. But I can tell you,
it's probably a hefty fine!Copy !req
584. You know what this is?Copy !req
585. It's a bill for manure clean up,
resodding the football field.Copy !req
586. To top it off, somebody urinated
all over Mrs. Campanella's rose garden.Copy !req
587. That was me, sir.Copy !req
588. And you wanna know something else?Copy !req
589. It was all worth it!Copy !req
590. Come here! Come here!Copy !req
591. That was our first victory in five years,
and it's all because of you!Copy !req
592. I love you more than
my own good-for-nothing son.Copy !req
593. Sit down, take a load off.Copy !req
594. We got a homecoming dance coming up
in a month and it has been the most...Copy !req
595. God-awful experience
for everyone involved.Copy !req
596. Right, Coach?Copy !req
597. You have any ideas on how we might
turn this thing around?Copy !req
598. - Good music.
- Music!Copy !req
599. Hey.Copy !req
600. That is a fantastic idea, son.
You see that? Hey!Copy !req
601. What kind of music?Copy !req
602. The only music worth being called music.
I'm talking about the funk.Copy !req
603. Hello, singing?Copy !req
604. We can't play funk without a bass line.Copy !req
605. Or black guys.Copy !req
606. We'll find someone. We don't need Ditz.Copy !req
607. Oh, you don't? So somebody else
is getting you paying gigs?Copy !req
608. We headline at homecoming in two weeks.Copy !req
609. - Someone talking to us?
- I don't hear anything.Copy !req
610. It's Diz. What's wrong with you people?Copy !req
611. I was an asshole at the mall.Copy !req
612. World-class asshole.Copy !req
613. They're scouting me for Asshole Olympics.
I'm carrying the torch.Copy !req
614. Come on, you guys, I'm sorry.Copy !req
615. I got no good excuse for what I did.Copy !req
616. It's not easy being the big bull.Copy !req
617. You're the big bullshit!
Gil's the big bull.Copy !req
618. - Yeah, but that's me.
- Is it?Copy !req
619. So, what makes you any different
from any other high school thug?Copy !req
620. - Quit it!
- It wasn't me?Copy !req
621. - Then who was it?
- Him.Copy !req
622. Hi, guys. Ed Ligget. Tuba!Copy !req
623. The marching band is collecting bottles
for the homeless.Copy !req
624. Ironically, taking away their only job.Copy !req
625. Any donations would be appreciated.Copy !req
626. You know what the homeless need?Copy !req
627. A midget.Copy !req
628. Why would they need a midget?Copy !req
629. Shut up!Copy !req
630. Hey! Quit it!Copy !req
631. What a throw.Copy !req
632. Little Ed, are you okay?Copy !req
633. Yeah, I'm from a rodeo family.Copy !req
634. You remembered my name.Copy !req
635. Come on.Copy !req
636. - What's Gil doing?
- He's taking him up the tower.Copy !req
637. Ed Ligget's gonna get
his little ass kicked.Copy !req
638. Who's that little dude?Copy !req
639. Hey, Conner.Copy !req
640. What did Ed ever do to you?Copy !req
641. All right, freak.Copy !req
642. We don't call people that here.Copy !req
643. Danielle?Copy !req
644. She's going down there with the geeks!Copy !req
645. - Emily.
- Danielle.Copy !req
646. - Look, Emily...
- I know.Copy !req
647. - You backed him instead of me?
- Caught that?Copy !req
648. Bullshit! My girlfriend's
supposed to back me up!Copy !req
649. You're right.
Your girlfriend should back you up.Copy !req
650. Find one.Copy !req
651. I don't need you! I could have anyone!Copy !req
652. Look, man.Copy !req
653. I'm sorry, me and the guys
pissed in your tuba.Copy !req
654. You did?Copy !req
655. - Yeah.
- I thought it tasted funny.Copy !req
656. Another win for the Highlanders!Copy !req
657. Mark's gonna help you pass trig.Copy !req
658. You don't remember me, do you?Copy !req
659. "Stop! Please!
Your ass is crushing my head!"Copy !req
660. Oh! Was that you?Copy !req
661. Highland wins again!Copy !req
662. Damn! That's what I'm talking about!Copy !req
663. I'd like to introduce you
to a few old buddies of mine.Copy !req
664. Hi, I'm...Copy !req
665. Hawk.Copy !req
666. And I'm...Copy !req
667. Apache.Copy !req
668. - Hawk, Apache and I—
- Were in prison together.Copy !req
669. Mostly in the shower.Copy !req
670. Can you just smell the playoffs?Copy !req
671. Before I met Gil,
I'd have looked at you and walked awayCopy !req
672. wiggling my ass to show what you missed.Copy !req
673. Yeah, well, the universe is upside down.Copy !req
674. And in a few minutes, you will be, too.Copy !req
675. I finally understand the song.Copy !req
676. Touchdown!Copy !req
677. Unbelievable!Copy !req
678. We're going to the State Championship!Copy !req
679. The Highlanders are on fire!Copy !req
680. Little spill.Copy !req
681. Remember...Copy !req
682. turn, don't burn.Copy !req
683. I want you to know
that when you go off to college,Copy !req
684. me and this house...Copy !req
685. - roll with you.
- Dad.Copy !req
686. Do not, I repeat, do not do that!Copy !req
687. Just roll around, Dad,
you'll be all right.Copy !req
688. We're closed.Copy !req
689. Hey, it's okay. He's with me.Copy !req
690. You're really good!Copy !req
691. Best part of working here.
I ride the bull for free.Copy !req
692. And I get good tips for wearing
a bandanna as a shirt.Copy !req
693. Watch it, hoodlum.Copy !req
694. That's Estelle. She must like you.Copy !req
695. Hi, Estelle.Copy !req
696. Hi.Copy !req
697. Don't mind Estelle.
She's like my big sister. She worries.Copy !req
698. - What could she worry about?
- That I'll end up like my mom.Copy !req
699. Working days here
and raising three kids by myself.Copy !req
700. I didn't know that.Copy !req
701. It's hard to keep track
of the white trash clichés.Copy !req
702. I'm not worried.Copy !req
703. - You're not?
- No.Copy !req
704. - That's a relief. You want a pad?
- For what?Copy !req
705. - Estelle!
- Look.Copy !req
706. If I can do what I've done,
you can do anything.Copy !req
707. - I wish I had your confidence.
- Don't ever wish that.Copy !req
708. Why? You know exactly who you are.Copy !req
709. But you don't know who I am.Copy !req
710. Before I came to East Highland...Copy !req
711. You get good distance
with the skinny ones.Copy !req
712. Are you okay?Copy !req
713. That's just it.Copy !req
714. I'm not—Copy !req
715. They killed Paco.Copy !req
716. - Paco?
- Paco!Copy !req
717. Black Spiders.Copy !req
718. - See this tattoo?
- I don't need to hear it.Copy !req
719. There's things about me I need to tell
that you won't like.Copy !req
720. It doesn't matter! Anything in your past,
I don't need to know.Copy !req
721. Let's just think about now.Copy !req
722. But I'm really Dizzy.Copy !req
723. So am I.Copy !req
724. She is going to college, punk!Copy !req
725. Hey, lady, nobody's stopping her!Copy !req
726. That's a buzz-kill. Night, Estelle.Copy !req
727. - Ready for State Finals?
- All I do is ride a horse.Copy !req
728. I'm worried. Those Drillers can be brutal.Copy !req
729. The Drillers?Copy !req
730. Rocky Creek High. You know where it is?Copy !req
731. I do.Copy !req
732. Look, Danielle.Copy !req
733. I can't go to that game.
I hate that school.Copy !req
734. Wait a minute. How can you not come?Copy !req
735. It's complicated.Copy !req
736. I hate it, too,
but if you don't show up, nobody will.Copy !req
737. Please, don't bail now.Copy !req
738. Let's welcome our undefeated
defending State Champions...Copy !req
739. the Rocky Creek Drillers!Copy !req
740. And from East Highland High...Copy !req
741. the Highlanders.Copy !req
742. I can't believe those kilt-wearing wussies
aren't gonna show up.Copy !req
743. Hold!Copy !req
744. What's going on?Copy !req
745. Kirk, you're falling behind.
Come on, hurry! Go, go!Copy !req
746. What a miraculous, momentous occasion
in Highlander history, sports fans!Copy !req
747. With eight ticks left on the clock,
the score is tied, 24 all!Copy !req
748. The Drillers are at the 50-yard line.Copy !req
749. There's only time for one last play!Copy !req
750. If the Highlanders can stop the Drillers,
we're looking at overtime!Copy !req
751. Who's that little dude?Copy !req
752. - Let's go, Highland!
- Let's go, Highland!Copy !req
753. This is the biggest day
for Texas Five-A footballCopy !req
754. since Johnson killed Kennedy!Copy !req
755. Come on, Highland!Copy !req
756. Highland! Highland!Copy !req
757. You understand what's going on?Copy !req
758. Their team isn't killing us,
their fans are!Copy !req
759. Put your heads in the game
and concentrate!Copy !req
760. We got a split left quick toss,
29 on one-on-one. Duncan gets the ball.Copy !req
761. No way, asshole! Not Duncan!Copy !req
762. My team, my game,
my championship, my ball!Copy !req
763. Just do your job, and I'll do the rest!Copy !req
764. Watch the back!Copy !req
765. Red, 71, down!Copy !req
766. Go, Rocky Creek!Copy !req
767. Get out of here, Rocky Creek!Copy !req
768. Defense! Defense! Defense!Copy !req
769. Fumble!Copy !req
770. Go!Copy !req
771. Highland wins!Copy !req
772. This is for you, son.Copy !req
773. Thank you.Copy !req
774. Go Highland!Copy !req
775. No!Copy !req
776. Is that...Copy !req
777. Hi!Copy !req
778. Hey, Dizzy dipshit!Copy !req
779. Where are you?Copy !req
780. Yo, dipshit!Copy !req
781. How you doing, buddy?Copy !req
782. How's it going?Copy !req
783. - Who is he?
- Just an old friend.Copy !req
784. A friend of Gil is one of mine. Travis.Copy !req
785. - Lonnie.
- Pete.Copy !req
786. Ed Ligget, tuba. How you doing, man?Copy !req
787. - Better now.
- What's wrong with you?Copy !req
788. - So I tossed a freak.
- We discourage name-calling here.Copy !req
789. - What do you want?
- You stole my championship, asshole!Copy !req
790. If you must talk like that,
I'll have to ask you to leave.Copy !req
791. I'll leave as soon as I tell
the truth about your leader.Copy !req
792. - We know he was in prison.
- Prison? Are you shitting me?Copy !req
793. All right, buddy-boy!
That doesn't fly around—Copy !req
794. Okay, you guys, back it up.Copy !req
795. This is my fight.Copy !req
796. Oh, baby! Come on, make my day!Copy !req
797. Get him!Copy !req
798. I'm gonna go rodeo on your ass!Copy !req
799. Take this! And this!Copy !req
800. I wanna know what you know.Copy !req
801. Someone spread the word about our band.Copy !req
802. - That was us.
- But half of Rocky Creek is here.Copy !req
803. What? How did they hear?Copy !req
804. - Hey, guys. Check this out.
- Creed?Copy !req
805. What idiot would fall for this?
There's a menu on the other side.Copy !req
806. Anybody know where the VIP room is?
Excuse me, ladies? Hello?Copy !req
807. Thank you. Who did that?Copy !req
808. - Hey, fat-ass.
- Quiet, Billy.Copy !req
809. Hi.Copy !req
810. I didn't think I'd live to see us win
the State Championship.Copy !req
811. Quiet!Copy !req
812. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
813. Suburban Funk!Copy !req
814. We can do this.Copy !req
815. Ladies and gentlemen, Creed...Copy !req
816. will not be here tonight.
Repeat, will not be here.Copy !req
817. And drop curtain.Copy !req
818. Cue.Copy !req
819. Mrs. Whitman, it's my—Copy !req
820. - It's mine, now!
- No—Copy !req
821. Yo, East Highland, you know Gil Harris.Copy !req
822. Hey, Rocky Creek,
you remember Diz Harrison?Copy !req
823. Guess what, folks?Copy !req
824. Gil and Diz are the same guy.Copy !req
825. He made fools of you.
You don't believe me, ask him yourself.Copy !req
826. Maybe for once, he'll tell the truth.Copy !req
827. This sucks! What's going on?Copy !req
828. - Hey!
- Nora, it's all right.Copy !req
829. I can handle this.Copy !req
830. I can explain.Copy !req
831. - Let the brother speak!
- Luther.Copy !req
832. Not just Luther. Spiders.Copy !req
833. You play my kind of music.Copy !req
834. Out of the way, Red.
I've been in the pen a while.Copy !req
835. Everything you saw on that screen
was completely...Copy !req
836. true.Copy !req
837. They're right. I'm a liar.Copy !req
838. I don't know what I was thinking.Copy !req
839. Actually, I do know what I was thinking.Copy !req
840. I was trying to become something more thanCopy !req
841. just a blip on the radar screen.Copy !req
842. So, I made someone up.Copy !req
843. Someone I thought you'd all like.Copy !req
844. And all because I cared more about
what other people thought of me...Copy !req
845. than what I thought of me.Copy !req
846. But I bet I'm not the only person here
who's ever let that happen.Copy !req
847. What is this?Copy !req
848. - Broke-dick, Broke-dick!
- Broke-dick, Broke-dick!Copy !req
849. Better come scoop up your friend.Copy !req
850. Move it!Copy !req
851. Anybody got a staple gun?Copy !req
852. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
853. - Diz! Oh, my God, you're bleeding!
- My nose.Copy !req
854. The crowd, they're animals!Copy !req
855. No, animals are kinder. They don't boo
when they're killing something.Copy !req
856. Diz, you are amazing.Copy !req
857. - What was that for?
- Can't I appreciate you?Copy !req
858. You're scaring me. What's going on?Copy !req
859. You've inspired me.Copy !req
860. I have to do something
I've wanted to do a long time.Copy !req
861. I have to let somebody know
how I feel about him.Copy !req
862. You know, Nora—Copy !req
863. Better than PlayStation 2?Copy !req
864. Now it is.Copy !req
865. - Yo, I guess it's me and you.
- And us.Copy !req
866. And me.Copy !req
867. Would you two get a room?Copy !req
868. I'm sorry.Copy !req
869. - I don't know what to call you.
- Broke-dick seems to be popular.Copy !req
870. You're the biggest liar I've ever met.Copy !req
871. You're right, I'm a liar.Copy !req
872. They called me "Dan the Man."Copy !req
873. What?Copy !req
874. That was before I lost the braces
and grew boobs.Copy !req
875. Then I became "Danielle the Body."Copy !req
876. I dropped all the friends I had
because they looked like the old me.Copy !req
877. And very selfish and mean,Copy !req
878. but I just wanted so badly to fit in.Copy !req
879. Been there.Copy !req
880. Do you even ride the motorcycle?Copy !req
881. Yeah, actually I do.Copy !req
882. But it usually takes a station wagon
or a bush to stop me.Copy !req
883. So, what do we do now?Copy !req
884. Don't ask me. The last plan
I had blew up pretty badly.Copy !req
885. No kidding.Copy !req
886. So, you see...Copy !req
887. I saved his narrow behind.Copy !req
888. And he got to kiss the girl.Copy !req
889. I hope that inspires you.Copy !req
890. It has. It's taught me a lot.Copy !req
891. It's easy for a man like me to forget
what most slobs will do to get a woman.Copy !req
892. My fault, I talk too much.
That really did burn me, sorry.Copy !req
893. Oh, God!Copy !req
894. - You okay?
- No, he clipped it.Copy !req
895. That's why I wanna use you.Copy !req
896. - You staring at my Janet?
- No. No way, man!Copy !req
897. Can we do that again?
He couldn't understand what I said.Copy !req
898. I'm sorry, that sucked!Copy !req
899. Look at that!Copy !req
900. Don't yell for mercy.Copy !req
901. Oh, God, I blew the line.Copy !req
902. Check me out! Bat-wings!Copy !req
903. Cut! Cut!Copy !req
904. I need three gallons of mineral water...Copy !req
905. 16 martini olives...Copy !req
906. and enough hummus
to cover this beautiful girl's body.Copy !req
907. You got that?Copy !req
908. Who's the bitch now?Copy !req
909. Hey, man. You got a smoke?Copy !req
910. How you doing?Copy !req
911. - Better now.
- Okay, cut.Copy !req