1. Three minutes. The girl. Now!Copy !req
2. Let's hurry a bit, shall we?Copy !req
3. Come on! Faster, faster!Copy !req
4. Read! Or we're all gonna die!Copy !req
5. No! Come back.Copy !req
6. Well, well, well.
Are you two sitting comfortably?Copy !req
7. Good. Now. Gentlemen.Copy !req
8. Do you see these file folders?Copy !req
9. The ones with your names on them?Copy !req
10. Can you guess
what's in these file folders?Copy !req
11. I'll give you a hint.Copy !req
12. Discipline reports.
Lots of them.Copy !req
13. And some wonderful artwork as well.Copy !req
14. This is?Copy !req
15. Spiderwith human head?Copy !req
16. - I'm sorry. Spider?
- With human head.Copy !req
17. Yeah. He eats dogs and cats and rabbits.Copy !req
18. - Does he?
- Sean thought him up.Copy !req
19. You see, sir,
we kinda have this monster club, okay?Copy !req
20. And we draw those pictures
to put on our clubhouse walls.Copy !req
21. Correction, Mr. Crenshaw.Copy !req
22. You draw pictures during
Mrs. Carlson's science class...Copy !req
23. when you're supposed
to be paying attention.Copy !req
24. Wait. I just want to say one thing.Copy !req
25. I mean, Ms. Carlson's
a nice teacher and all...Copy !req
26. but she's boring and
has an odd-shaped head.Copy !req
27. That's why Sean and the guys
call her "Meow Mix"...Copy !req
28. 'cause her head's shaped like a cat head.Copy !req
29. But I don't, sir, 'cause— how rude.Copy !req
30. Boys...Copy !req
31. I hear you.Copy !req
32. I was a kid once.Copy !req
33. I thought monsters were cool.Copy !req
34. And maybe, well— well, gosh,
maybe I'm just a big kid...Copy !req
35. because, Sean, Patrick...Copy !req
36. I think science is cool.Copy !req
37. I dig it, man.Copy !req
38. Now, I'm sure both of you know
a great deal about monsters.Copy !req
39. But that's not the issue here.
The issue is...Copy !req
40. science is real.Copy !req
41. Monsters are not.Copy !req
42. We don't know that, sir.Copy !req
43. God, can you believe Mr. Metzger?Copy !req
44. Tell me about it. He was touching me.
He patted my shoulders and stuff.Copy !req
45. - The guy was fully homo-ing out.
- I smell like the '40s.Copy !req
46. When they send you to school, they should tell
you about homos and people with cat heads—Copy !req
47. Sorry, Mrs. Carlson.Copy !req
48. Meow. Meow.Copy !req
49. She's married, Sean.Copy !req
50. Oh, my God!
Some guy kisses her at night?Copy !req
51. A priest said, "I now pronounce you man
and wife," and it was okay with him?Copy !req
52. Hey. Where's Fat Kid?Copy !req
53. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to our show.Copy !req
54. Tonight's question:
What makes Fat Kid fat?Copy !req
55. - Fat kid?
- Get out of here, E.J.Copy !req
56. - "Get out of here, E.J."
- Nope.Copy !req
57. - Not a good answer.
- Doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
58. - Let's go to our man on the street. Derek.
- Hi. I'm Derek...Copy !req
59. and I'm in the street
where Fat Kid is blocking traffic.Copy !req
60. Fat Kid, can't you stop eating?Copy !req
61. Look, I have a glandular problem, okay?Copy !req
62. At least I don't have
a stupidity problem.Copy !req
63. What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?Copy !req
64. My name's Horace!Copy !req
65. Whore-ass.Copy !req
66. Oops. I tore it.Copy !req
67. I guess I must have
a stupidity problem.Copy !req
68. What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?Copy !req
69. I said, "You're an asshole."Copy !req
70. Hey, Rudy.Copy !req
71. E.J.Copy !req
72. See you met my friend Horace.Copy !req
73. You okay?Copy !req
74. You dropped your candy bar, E.J.Copy !req
75. It's his.Copy !req
76. It's your now.Copy !req
77. - Eat.
- Rudy, I'm not gonna—Copy !req
78. Eat up!
And we'll call it a day.Copy !req
79. Look, Patrick, I told you before.Copy !req
80. - Wolfman cannot drive a car.
- Yes, he can.Copy !req
81. - No, he can't!
- Yes, he can.Copy !req
82. All I'm saying is, Sean,
he could if he had to.Copy !req
83. He could not.
You're being such a dork!Copy !req
84. - I know you are, but what am I?
- A dork.Copy !req
85. - I know you are, but what am I?
- Oh, great. A feeb. A dork.Copy !req
86. - I know you are, but what am I?
- A dork.Copy !req
87. - I know you are, but what am I?
- Infinity! Look.Copy !req
88. Wolfman doesn't go to work.
He's not, like, a guy.Copy !req
89. What are you talkin' about?
He walks around. He wears pants.Copy !req
90. He had to wear pants 'cause those movies
were made in the '40s.Copy !req
91. He had to wear 'em
so you wouldn't see his... wolfdork.Copy !req
92. Wolfdork?Copy !req
93. You guys!Copy !req
94. I saw him. He was watching us.Copy !req
95. - Who?
- Scary German Guy.Copy !req
96. Sean, he give me the creeps.Copy !req
97. He's just a dude on welfare.Copy !req
98. Maybe he's a German spy.Copy !req
99. Oh, good one.
We're not at warwith Germany anymore.Copy !req
100. We're at warwith Vietnam.Copy !req
101. - What?
- It's in Rambo.Copy !req
102. - You guys missed it!
- Fat Kid!Copy !req
103. Rudy saved my life! Do you think we
could talk him intojoining the Monster Club?Copy !req
104. Can we?Copy !req
105. Huddle.Copy !req
106. Sean, he's in junior high.Copy !req
107. I heard he killed his dad.Copy !req
108. Get out of here, Phoebe the Feeb!Copy !req
109. Okay, you guys.
We should let him in on one condition.Copy !req
110. Monster test.Copy !req
111. You guys! I saw Scary-
I saw him!Copy !req
112. I saw Scary German Guy!
He was watching!Copy !req
113. I'm depressed.Copy !req
114. What for?
What do you mean, what for?Copy !req
115. I'm flyin' a World War II bomber
with wooden crates in it and dead bodies.Copy !req
116. I should have a party?Copy !req
117. Do they complain? Do they get airsick? Do
they ask for more of the little almond things?Copy !req
118. You're right.Copy !req
119. This is a great job. I'm really happy.Copy !req
120. - I thought they were dead.
- They are.Copy !req
121. I'm goin' to...Copy !req
122. I'm gonna check it out.Copy !req
123. Okay. Good.Copy !req
124. You do that.Copy !req
125. I'll stay here and make spooky sounds.Copy !req
126. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
127. Come on. Where are you,
you son of a bitch?Copy !req
128. - Two ways to kill a vampire.
- Good one, Fat Kid. Excellent question.Copy !req
129. - Stake through the heart.
- Right.Copy !req
130. - What else?
- Oh, real good.Copy !req
131. - Eugene.
- I wasn't talking.Copy !req
132. - It was Pete.
- Get him in a muzzle, will ya?Copy !req
133. - You guys meet up here a lot, or—
- Every day.Copy !req
134. - Do we meet up here a lot?
- Eugene! Man!Copy !req
135. Eugene, make Pete shut up.Copy !req
136. Do you really think
that was a good question?Copy !req
137. Rudy! Are you gonna listen
or look out the window?Copy !req
138. - I told you he didn't want to be in the club.
- Lighten up, Patrick.Copy !req
139. No way!Copy !req
140. - We're tryin' to do the test here.
- You're gonna piss him off.Copy !req
141. - I'm beginnin' to like this club.
- Rudy!Copy !req
142. Come on. It's a monster test.
It's important. Okay?Copy !req
143. Second way to kill a vampire.Copy !req
144. I give up.Copy !req
145. Daylight.Copy !req
146. - Sunlight.
- Fat Kid...Copy !req
147. what other kind of light
is there durin' the day?Copy !req
148. - Go away, Pete!
- Okay, question two.Copy !req
149. Is Frankenstein the name of the monster
or the guy who made him?Copy !req
150. - The guy.
- Right.Copy !req
151. Can't you read?Copy !req
152. Mom said you have to let me
in the club, or else it's "prescruption."Copy !req
153. That's discrimination, jerkoid.Copy !req
154. "Prescription" is drugs, which you're on
if you think you're gettin' up here.Copy !req
155. Come on, Sean! I know about monsters.Copy !req
156. - Come on! Let me in the club!
- Two ways to kill a werewolf.Copy !req
157. - Silver bullet?
- And?Copy !req
158. That's it. Shoot him with a silver bullet.Copy !req
159. Nope. Sorry, Rudy.Copy !req
160. Okay, so, what's the otherway?Copy !req
161. - What?
- Second way to kill a werewolf?Copy !req
162. - Car crash?
- Accident with power tools?Copy !req
163. - Old age?
- Falling out of a window.Copy !req
164. - Onto a bomb!
- Sean! Phoebe! Dinner!Copy !req
165. Gotta go.Copy !req
166. Wait. Am I in orwhat?Copy !req
167. - I mean it, spaz.
- You gotta stop it.Copy !req
168. Wash up for dinner, guys.Copy !req
169. Boring guy, boring guy,
boring guy, boring guy.Copy !req
170. What's this, Mom?Copy !req
171. I got that for you today
atJane Burgess' garage sale.Copy !req
172. Says it's from that old house
up on Shadowbrook Road.Copy !req
173. Holy shit! Cow.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
174. - Mom, do you know who wrote this book?
- Yeah. It's, what, Van Helsing something.Copy !req
175. - He's the one that fights Godzilla. Right?
- Dracula, Mom.Copy !req
176. - Then which is the really tall one?
- That's Godzilla.Copy !req
177. My God! Abraham Van Helsing.
This is great!Copy !req
178. This is German.Copy !req
179. Let it begin.Copy !req
180. Hey, slick.Copy !req
181. Busy day?Copy !req
182. Not really.Copy !req
183. - Shoot any crooks today?
- Afraid not.Copy !req
184. But I still may if you don't
wash up for dinner.Copy !req
185. What's on your mind?Copy !req
186. Well, Dad, some of the guys and me...Copy !req
187. were maybe gonna go see GroundhogDay
Part 12 tonight, only if it's okay with you.Copy !req
188. - Is it? Please?
- We got a problem.Copy !req
189. - No way!
- Yes, way.Copy !req
190. I gotta go out
with your mother tonight.Copy !req
191. You got a certain 5-year-old sister
who needs baby-sitting.Copy !req
192. Oh, come on, Dad!
I've waited all year to see this movie!Copy !req
193. Easy, pal. It's only a movie. Look, tomorrow
night, you and I'll go see Groundhog Day.Copy !req
194. I'll get home early.Copy !req
195. Tomorrow night? That'll be too late!Copy !req
196. The guys will blab the entire plot!Copy !req
197. Plot? Did I hear "plot"?Copy !req
198. Sean, it is a guy with an ax.Copy !req
199. Anyway, I thought
they killed him in the last one.Copy !req
200. They did.
And he returns from his grave.Copy !req
201. He returns from the grave?
Sean, he always returns from the grave.Copy !req
202. If they blew him up, put his head in a blender,
and mailed the rest of the pieces to Norway...Copy !req
203. he would still return from the grave.Copy !req
204. That was part seven.Copy !req
205. You want to know what the plot is?
The plot separates you from my five bucks.Copy !req
206. - I want to see a stupid movie.
- Well, you can't. You're baby-sitting.Copy !req
207. Fine. Can I have five bucks anyway?Copy !req
208. Absolutely.Copy !req
209. - So, where you two goin' tonight?
- Marriage counselor.Copy !req
210. Again?
I thought you quit smoking.Copy !req
211. Son, I love you dearly, but do me a favor.
Put your basic lid on it.Copy !req
212. Now, get outta here.Copy !req
213. Hello. Yeah?Copy !req
214. Officer, please! Lock me up!
I'm a werewolf! I'm a werewolf!Copy !req
215. - I know it sounds crazy- Full moon—
- Hey, Del. Bad news.Copy !req
216. Listen, I gotta go downtown.Copy !req
217. Can you reschedule that appointment?Copy !req
218. Honey, I'm a cop, okay?Copy !req
219. You knew that
when you bought the package.Copy !req
220. Look. It's important.Copy !req
221. I'm important.Copy !req
222. - I love you.
- Prove it.Copy !req
223. I'll see you in a few hours.Copy !req
224. Just for a night!
You see, it's a full moon!Copy !req
225. - And I'm a werewolf!
- Take it easy.Copy !req
226. You don't understand! You gotta lock me up!
You gotta put me in a cage!Copy !req
227. Buddy, I'd like nothin' better!
Hold onto your pants!Copy !req
228. Oh, God! You don't understand!
You've gotta—Copy !req
229. Anything you say, fella.Copy !req
230. - Put the cuffs on him.
- I got it.Copy !req
231. All right. I got him now.Copy !req
232. Jesus Christ! We need some backup!Copy !req
233. Bon voyage!Copy !req
234. Lock me up!Copy !req
235. So, let me get this straight.Copy !req
236. You tellin' me there was
this 2,000-year-old mummy here, right?Copy !req
237. Yes, sir.Copy !req
238. But now he's not here. He's gone.
Vanished. History.Copy !req
239. Yes, sir.Copy !req
240. And you're sayin' you didn't hear anybody
come in here or leave. Is that right?Copy !req
241. Can you hear me now? Hello?Copy !req
242. I can hear you fine.Copy !req
243. So, nobody took the mummy.Copy !req
244. I would've heard them.Copy !req
245. Of course he would've.
What a stupid question.Copy !req
246. - Did you take him?
- No, sir!Copy !req
247. Just a shot. That's it, Del.Copy !req
248. This case is too hard, man.Copy !req
249. Let's be firemen instead.Copy !req
250. I'm glad you're gettin'
major laughs out of this, Rich.Copy !req
251. The problem is,
2,000-year-old dead guys...Copy !req
252. do not get up
and walk away by themselves!Copy !req
253. Accident patrol,
request confirmation.Copy !req
254. You have the 915-H
officer-involved shooting en route?Copy !req
255. My God! You scared me!Copy !req
256. - Where are Steve and Judy?
- I thought they were with you.Copy !req
257. Not funny.Copy !req
258. Well, something's funny.Copy !req
259. What did I miss?Copy !req
260. Hey!Copy !req
261. - Oh, sheriff. You scared us.
- Never mind about that.Copy !req
262. This is the best part.Copy !req
263. Lieutenant, you wanna come over
and take a look at this?Copy !req
264. Dispatch, Unit 7.Copy !req
265. Unit 7, come in, please.
Please copy.Copy !req
266. Wonderful. Great! Just what I need.Copy !req
267. - Come again? You're—
- What?Copy !req
268. Request cadaver—Copy !req
269. I can't hear you!
No, no, no! I said "missing"!Copy !req
270. The body's missing!
It's the second one tonight.Copy !req
271. Confirmed. That makes two tonight,
right, Lieutenant?Copy !req
272. That's very funny.
And you want to shut up about it?Copy !req
273. It has been so long.Copy !req
274. So very long.Copy !req
275. Wake up, old friend.Copy !req
276. It is our time.Copy !req
277. Long time.Copy !req
278. Master.Copy !req
279. And you put the candle
next to your bed like this.Copy !req
280. Your mom did this
when you were a little girl?Copy !req
281. Uh-huh.
It means "I love you."Copy !req
282. And as long as it's here,
nothing bad can happen.Copy !req
283. Sean says when it lightnings,
monsters come.Copy !req
284. Oh, he's just trying to scare you, honey.Copy !req
285. - Will lightning hit the house?
- No.Copy !req
286. The candle keeps it away?Copy !req
287. That's right.Copy !req
288. Say good night to Scraps.Copy !req
289. Good night, Scraps.Copy !req
290. Good night, Emily.Copy !req
291. Good night, sweetheart.Copy !req
292. Are you gonna yell at him?Copy !req
293. Honey, I love your father.Copy !req
294. What?Copy !req
295. I mean Sean, for scaring me.Copy !req
296. Of course you did.Copy !req
297. I'll talk to him about it, sweetheart.
Sweet dreams.Copy !req
298. You're thinkin' about your job,
isn't that right? I can see it in your eyes, Del.Copy !req
299. Yeah! I'm glad you can see it in my eyes, 'cause
for a minute there I thought I had you fooled.Copy !req
300. - Come on. This isn't—
- Look in my eyes. Look in my eyes!Copy !req
301. I'll think about stuff, and you can tell me
when I'm thinking correctly!Copy !req
302. Keep your voice down.
I don't want the children—Copy !req
303. - I had a lousy night, all right?
- Every night I have a lousy night.Copy !req
304. I'm sorry it's such a pain in the ass
for you with my stupid littlejob!Copy !req
305. I am trying to explain—Copy !req
306. Some guy steals a priceless
Egyptian mummy. Well, excuse me.Copy !req
307. That happens every day. Skip that.Copy !req
308. Then I get a call from some nutcase
who's shouting he's a werewolf!Copy !req
309. You like that?Copy !req
310. What do they do? They blow him away
right there in the police station!Copy !req
311. Wait a minute! There is more to this!Copy !req
312. Marriage counseling! Forwhat?Copy !req
313. What?Copy !req
314. There's a monster in my closet.Copy !req
315. Damn, son,
look at all of these monsters!Copy !req
316. Come on,
all of you monsters, outta here!Copy !req
317. Everyone, out of this room!
Come—Copy !req
318. You, on the bed. Come on.
Out. Out. Take a hike.Copy !req
319. There he goes.Copy !req
320. You see any more monsters?Copy !req
321. In the closet?Copy !req
322. Sure. We can go into the closet.
We can do that.Copy !req
323. Okay, monsters!Copy !req
324. Look at that big, scary monster!Copy !req
325. Listen. You are not gonna sleep
with your mother and me tonight.Copy !req
326. So you can forget it.
And keep this up...Copy !req
327. and you're not gonna look
at those monster magazines.Copy !req
328. Understand?Copy !req
329. Okay. We're all here.
What's the deal?Copy !req
330. Yeah. What the hell's Monster Squad?Copy !req
331. It's us. We're the Monster Squad.Copy !req
332. - Since when?
- Since now!Copy !req
333. - What's a "squad"?
- It's like Miami Vice, I think.Copy !req
334. Look. I think there's monsters.
Like, real ones.Copy !req
335. I heard my dad talking on the telephone
to a guy down at the police station.Copy !req
336. There was a guy screaming
he was a werewolf.Copy !req
337. And they shot him. And the body
disappeared from the coronervan.Copy !req
338. And the coroner guy was dead.Copy !req
339. So what? He got shot,
and the werewolftook his body?Copy !req
340. No, you pinhead!
He was a werewolf! Maybe.Copy !req
341. - But ifthey shot him—
- Must've been regular bullets, not silver ones.Copy !req
342. Look, I know this will sound
pretty stupid...Copy !req
343. but a mummy disappeared
from the museum tonight.Copy !req
344. Mummy came in my house.Copy !req
345. And, guys, Dracula might be here too.Copy !req
346. - Man, Fat Kid farted! Oh, God.
- Did not.Copy !req
347. - Can't you hold it? God!
- It was Pete.Copy !req
348. Goddamn it, would you shut up?Copy !req
349. Did you hear a word I said?
The guys are dead! Get a clue!Copy !req
350. Something's out there,
and it's killin' people!Copy !req
351. And if it's monsters, nobody's gonna
do a thing about it but us.Copy !req
352. So, what do we do?Copy !req
353. I think this book
might be important.Copy !req
354. Look. It's Van Helsing's diary.Copy !req
355. Mom said they found it
in an old house on Shadowbrook Road.Copy !req
356. But I can't read it. It's all in German.Copy !req
357. My sister takes German in high school.Copy !req
358. Your sister doesn't speak German.Copy !req
359. All she does is hang around
and let guys touch her tits.Copy !req
360. Your sister wouldn't happen
to live next door?Copy !req
361. So what?Copy !req
362. That girl's your sister?Copy !req
363. So, what do you say?
Are we Monster Squad...Copy !req
364. or what?Copy !req
365. - Cool.
- All right.Copy !req
366. How does that dog get up here, anyways?Copy !req
367. Old friend.Copy !req
368. How do you like your new home?Copy !req
369. Home.Copy !req
370. I must sleep soon,
so listen very carefully.Copy !req
371. Van Helsing's diary...Copy !req
372. is missing.Copy !req
373. I want you to retrieve it for me.Copy !req
374. You understand?Copy !req
375. Yes, Master.Copy !req
376. Children possess it.Copy !req
377. I want you to find them
and take the diary.Copy !req
378. If they do not cooperate...Copy !req
379. you will kill them.Copy !req
380. Gentlemen, I'd just like
to say three words:Copy !req
381. Scary German Guy.Copy !req
382. Who else are we gonna
get to translate this thing?Copy !req
383. Come on.
Somebody go up and knock.Copy !req
384. You knock. You're our leader.Copy !req
385. Firstly, he's scary, okay?Copy !req
386. And "B," he's German.Copy !req
387. Maybe he doesn't even speak English.Copy !req
388. Okay, so what's German for
"Please don't murder us"?Copy !req
389. Boys...Copy !req
390. time is almost up.Copy !req
391. It's your last chance for pie.Copy !req
392. - Thanks, mister guy.
- Now, here we go.Copy !req
393. - I mean—
- No, thanks.Copy !req
394. Now, where were we?Copy !req
395. "The amulet itself is fairly small...Copy !req
396. and carved with intricate symbols."Copy !req
397. Rather an odd-looking thing,
don't you think?Copy !req
398. Scary German Guy's bitchin'.Copy !req
399. Sir, the thing I don't understand
is the part about the equilibrium.Copy !req
400. Well, according to this rather curious book
you have brought me...Copy !req
401. "The forces of good and evil"—Copy !req
402. That is a B-17,
in case you are wondering.Copy !req
403. It's rad!Copy !req
404. "Good and evil are in constant flux,
back and forth.Copy !req
405. Only once, every hundred years...Copy !req
406. are these forces balanced."Copy !req
407. And what about the amulet?Copy !req
408. The amulet,
so nearly as I can translate...Copy !req
409. is "concentrated good.Copy !req
410. It is a talisman...Copy !req
411. which wards offevil and is"—Copy !req
412. howyou say...Copy !req
413. "indestructible"?Copy !req
414. That means it can't be destroyed.Copy !req
415. Or, in any case, normally destroyed.Copy !req
416. However, and this part is underlined...Copy !req
417. "Once every hundred years...Copy !req
418. at the stroke of midnight...Copy !req
419. the amulet becomes vulnerable...Copy !req
420. and at that moment...Copy !req
421. it can be shattered."Copy !req
422. And if it is?Copy !req
423. Then the balance
between good and evil will shift...Copy !req
424. and evil will rule.Copy !req
425. However, our friend
Mr. Van Helsing claims...Copy !req
426. there is a way
to stop the forces ofdarkness.Copy !req
427. How?Copy !req
428. "Ifone could gain possession...Copy !req
429. of the amulet before those forces"—Copy !req
430. "then every hundred years,
at midnight...Copy !req
431. there is another option:Copy !req
432. a ceremony which,
when followed to the letter...Copy !req
433. will open a hole...Copy !req
434. into Limbo itself...Copy !req
435. where dwell the damned;
a vortex...Copy !req
436. which like a great whirlwind...Copy !req
437. can swallow the forces ofevil forever."Copy !req
438. Well, does it describe
the procedure at all?Copy !req
439. In detail.
This was the last entry.Copy !req
440. On this date...Copy !req
441. he was to battle those forces himself.Copy !req
442. Interesting.Copy !req
443. It is tomorrow's date...Copy !req
444. one hundred years ago!Copy !req
445. A hundred years ago?Copy !req
446. Tomorrow night.Copy !req
447. Thank you very much.Copy !req
448. Thank you very much
for all your time. Thank you.Copy !req
449. I expect you boys thought
I was some kind of monster myself.Copy !req
450. A vampire, perhaps?Copy !req
451. That's quite all right.Copy !req
452. But I am not, you know.Copy !req
453. If I were a vampire...Copy !req
454. then I wouldn't have a reflection.Copy !req
455. Now, would I?Copy !req
456. Man, you sure know a lot
about monsters.Copy !req
457. Now that you mention it...Copy !req
458. I suppose I do.Copy !req
459. Guys, wait up!Copy !req
460. Tomorrow night?
What do we have to do again?Copy !req
461. - Blow a hole in Dumbo?
- Limbo, stupid.Copy !req
462. So, how do we know
he amulet's there anyway?Copy !req
463. Because, you dweeb,
Dracula's obviously here looking for it.Copy !req
464. If we don't find it before he does,
we're beast bait.Copy !req
465. Okay, so, say we get the amulet.
Then what?Copy !req
466. - Wait till midnight, and?
- We get a virgin.Copy !req
467. - A virgin?
- Yeah.Copy !req
468. Okay, right. Then what?Copy !req
469. Well, our virgin takes the amulet...Copy !req
470. reads the magic spell from the book,
and, blamo, we blow a hole in Limbo.Copy !req
471. - That's so easy.
- A cinch.Copy !req
472. Piece ofcake.Copy !req
473. Rudy. Question.Copy !req
474. - Shoot.
- Know any virgins?Copy !req
475. Okay. Rudy, find some silver bullets.Copy !req
476. And where the hell am I supposed
to find silver bullets? Kmart?Copy !req
477. I don't know. Gimme a break.Copy !req
478. Fat Kid, get a map.
Find Shadowbrook Road.Copy !req
479. What, do I look in the index
for "big, scary mansion"?Copy !req
480. - You're a riot.
- You guys!Copy !req
481. How can we trust Scary German Guy?Copy !req
482. Why would he lie
about a thing like this?Copy !req
483. Phoebe, have a life.
You're being a spaz!Copy !req
484. Ow! God! You bit me, you brat!
I'm tellin' Mom on you!Copy !req
485. Would ya look?Copy !req
486. It's okay, you guys!Copy !req
487. He's friends with us.Copy !req
488. Come on! Don't be chickenshit!Copy !req
489. Come on.
I want to show you my friends.Copy !req
490. - Sean, no.
- Oh, go for it.Copy !req
491. Sean, are you crazy?
That's a walkin' dead guy.Copy !req
492. Sean, please don't die.Copy !req
493. Are you dead?Copy !req
494. Dead?Copy !req
495. Does Mom know about him?Copy !req
496. No. Only us.Copy !req
497. Hey, guys, get over here!
He's great!Copy !req
498. Now can I be
in the Monster Club?Copy !req
499. I can't believe it.
Frankenstein's monster in our clubhouse.Copy !req
500. - Let's ask him to leave, okay?
- You're not still scared, are you?Copy !req
501. Well, he is a little bit gross, Sean.Copy !req
502. Scraps.Copy !req
503. I taught him to talk.Copy !req
504. Bogus.Copy !req
505. Give me a break.Copy !req
506. Huddle up, you guys.Copy !req
507. Sean, we gotta get an adult.Copy !req
508. And your dad's a cop,
so if we get your dad—Copy !req
509. Absolutely no grown-ups. Okay?Copy !req
510. They'll lock him up in a cage or something.
Dissect him.Copy !req
511. - Or put him on TV!
- Fat Kid.Copy !req
512. - Why are you such a lame-oid?
- You're the lame-oid.Copy !req
513. Bogus! Bogus.Copy !req
514. Dudes, check it out.Copy !req
515. Scary?Copy !req
516. The amulet is in here. Very near, yes.Copy !req
517. Oh, Van Helsing,
your disciples were very clumsy...Copy !req
518. trying to hide from me
the very thing that is mine.Copy !req
519. No hiding, never, from me.Copy !req
520. It's here!Copy !req
521. My prize.Copy !req
522. Soon, Van Helsing...Copy !req
523. soon, the creatures of the night
shall rule the world.Copy !req
524. And there is no one to stop us!Copy !req
525. I do regret the dosage, my friend.Copy !req
526. Most lethal...Copy !req
527. by human standards.Copy !req
528. But then, human standards
do not apply, do they?Copy !req
529. Well, I'll go have a bite...Copy !req
530. while you change
into something more...Copy !req
531. comfortable.Copy !req
532. Last night,
near the ambulance crash...Copy !req
533. get this— eyewitness report:
long black hearse.Copy !req
534. No plates. You wanna ask me
about the hood ornament?Copy !req
535. - What about the hood ornament?
- I thought you'd never ask.Copy !req
536. A silver skull.Copy !req
537. I consider this an exciting lead.
I am excited. Are you excited?Copy !req
538. I'm thrilled. Put out an APB.Copy !req
539. I already did.
I'm a very good policeman. You know?Copy !req
540. Crenshaw.Copy !req
541. Hurry! Get all your men and send
them down to 666 Shadowbrook Road!Copy !req
542. It's an old mansion!Copy !req
543. He's found the amulet!
There's no time!Copy !req
544. - Who the hell is this?
- I'm the one they shot last night!Copy !req
545. - I'm a werewolf now, but—
- Have a nice night.Copy !req
546. No! No! No! No! Don't hang up!Copy !req
547. He's gonna kill your son!Copy !req
548. Patrick! Come in. Patrick.Copy !req
549. - Patrick, come in.
- Yeah, we're here. Where are you?Copy !req
550. We're almost there.
Everything set with you?Copy !req
551. Know in a minute. Rudy?Copy !req
552. This babe is major.Copy !req
553. Rudy's in love.Copy !req
554. Well, good for Rudy.Copy !req
555. Thanks a lot, Pete.Copy !req
556. Okay, remember—
rendezvous position "A," 2200 hours.Copy !req
557. - Say what?
- 10:00, doofus.Copy !req
558. How do we know
the amulet's there anyway?Copy !req
559. - We don't, but it's all we have to go on.
- Okay. Well, good luck, butt love.Copy !req
560. I know you are,
but what am I? Out.Copy !req
561. - What, Eugene?
- Creature stole my Twinkie.Copy !req
562. So, what did you
want to ask me?Copy !req
563. What do we want to ask you.Copy !req
564. Okay. Sis, me and Ru—Copy !req
565. - Your show, Ace.
- Okay.Copy !req
566. Wejust wanted to know...Copy !req
567. if you're a virgin.Copy !req
568. What?Copy !req
569. Okay. What we want to know is
are you a—Copy !req
570. Look.Copy !req
571. What your brother
is so delicately attempting to inquire...Copy !req
572. and let me, out of my own
personal curiosity...Copy !req
573. is the degree to which you may have or...Copy !req
574. have not, at some point in time...Copy !req
575. been dorked?Copy !req
576. You guys are sick!Copy !req
577. Guess what.Copy !req
578. Fox Photo's got
a two-for-one deal this week...Copy !req
579. and wouldn't you know it,
there's a space on the bulletin board...Copy !req
580. right between
the prom committee notes...Copy !req
581. and the football roster.Copy !req
582. About this Monster Squad thing.Copy !req
583. Maybe we could go back to the clubhouse
and rethink it with the other guys.Copy !req
584. Fat Kid, you're bein' a wuss.Copy !req
585. - Wuss?
- Can it, Frank.Copy !req
586. Time's runnin' out.Copy !req
587. Sean, no!Copy !req
588. Scary house, real monsters...Copy !req
589. us,12 years old?Copy !req
590. Remember?Copy !req
591. Midnight, end ofworld.
Remember?Copy !req
592. Master is near.Copy !req
593. Master wants children dead.Copy !req
594. Maybe we could be
like Math Squad instead, you know.Copy !req
595. Do math problems. Stay home.Copy !req
596. Or Nature Squad.
We could look at rocks, collect birds.Copy !req
597. Not be dead. See, it's this whole
death thing I'm not crazy about.Copy !req
598. Well, no amulet. Let's go.Copy !req
599. Look. We got two consolations.Copy !req
600. Number one,
Frankenstein's on our side.Copy !req
601. And number two, my dad's a cop.Copy !req
602. Anybody fools around with us,
he kicks their ass.Copy !req
603. Hey, Frankie.Copy !req
604. Come on.Copy !req
605. Frank!Copy !req
606. Wake up! Wake up!Copy !req
607. Eugene, get away from there!Copy !req
608. He won't wake up!Copy !req
609. Fat Kid, use your eyes.
Does it look like you can help him?Copy !req
610. But what do I do, Sean?
The monster!Copy !req
611. Don't call him a monster.
But what if he's dead?Copy !req
612. Then he died to help us.Copy !req
613. Now, look.Copy !req
614. I'm the leader of this squad...Copy !req
615. so listen up.Copy !req
616. He said Dracula knows we're here.Copy !req
617. So let's just try to find the amulet...Copy !req
618. and get the hell outta here.Copy !req
619. - Kick him in the nards!
- What?Copy !req
620. - Kick him in the nards!
- He doesn't have nards!Copy !req
621. Do it! Do it!Copy !req
622. Wolfman's got nards!Copy !req
623. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
624. - What are you doin'?
- Haven't you read The Hardy Boys?Copy !req
625. You pull some lever down
and a secret door opens!Copy !req
626. - You gotta be kidding!
- You have a better idea?Copy !req
627. Come on, Sean.Copy !req
628. Damn! Where is he?Copy !req
629. Where are you? Come in!Copy !req
630. Where are you, Sean?Copy !req
631. 10:00. They're late.Copy !req
632. Maybe the monsters got them.Copy !req
633. "Maybe the monsters got them."Copy !req
634. - Can we go home, Sean?
- Oh, great.Copy !req
635. - Please? Can't we go home?
- Just great.Copy !req
636. Frankenstein's dead,
Eugene's whining...Copy !req
637. and we're sitting here
with Pirate Bill.Copy !req
638. - Come on, Sean.
- Man, we're dead.Copy !req
639. Eugene, stop it.Copy !req
640. Bingo.Copy !req
641. You guys, I got it!Copy !req
642. Give it to me. Give it to me!Copy !req
643. Get out of here! Get out of here!Copy !req
644. Help!Copy !req
645. Give it to me!Copy !req
646. Garlic! Come on! Get outta here!Copy !req
647. You guys, we got
Scary German Guy to help us!Copy !req
648. The cavalry! Thank Christ.Copy !req
649. We figured you guys were in trouble.Copy !req
650. It was boss! I saw Dracula!Copy !req
651. - And I kicked Wolfman in the nards—
- Fat Kid, bag it.Copy !req
652. - Is she a virgin?
- Put it on the 6:00 news, you little shit.Copy !req
653. - Yeah, she is.
- Perhaps we should all...Copy !req
654. go back to my place for some pie.Copy !req
655. The book was right.Copy !req
656. Don't you see? It's all true!Copy !req
657. We found the amulet,
but now there's monsters after us.Copy !req
658. We gotta go to a place
where there's a lot of people.Copy !req
659. - Church.
- What?Copy !req
660. - Church!
- He's right.Copy !req
661. - There's an old church in the town plaza.
- Perfect.Copy !req
662. Monsters hate religious stuff.Copy !req
663. Del. Del. Del! Look, I'm sorry.Copy !req
664. You tryin' to tell me we're gonna
go all the way out to Shadowbrook Road...Copy !req
665. because you get a call from some guy
who tells you he's a werewolf?Copy !req
666. Look, I'm sorry.
I guess it's feasible, Del.Copy !req
667. Listen to me. Come on, man.
I apologize. All right?Copy !req
668. Look! It's 20 minutes till midnight!Copy !req
669. We pull this off, I'm gonna shit!Copy !req
670. Holy shit!Copy !req
671. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
672. - Give me some slack!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
673. - Patrick, just give me some slack!
- No!Copy !req
674. - You're closer! Just give me some slack!
- No way!Copy !req
675. - Don't be a wuss!
- Okay!Copy !req
676. Come on! Hurry!Copy !req
677. - Yes!
- Come on! Let go! Let go!Copy !req
678. Let go of her! Let go!Copy !req
679. Go! Go!
Go! Look at that! It's dust!Copy !req
680. Come on! Yes! Come on!Copy !req
681. Go!Copy !req
682. See you later, Band-Aid breath.Copy !req
683. Del, I don't know if you're aware of this,
but we're going a hundred miles an hour!Copy !req
684. I notice little things like that.
I'm a very good policeman. You know that?Copy !req
685. I'm not sayin' anything.Copy !req
686. - Not a single word.
- I appreciate that.Copy !req
687. Meeting adjourned.Copy !req
688. - Dispatch to Unit 28.
- Freeze!Copy !req
689. You move, and I'll kill you!Copy !req
690. Dispatch, we got a 10-35.Copy !req
691. Send backup! Hurry it up!Copy !req
692. Get outta there!Copy !req
693. That's enough.Copy !req
694. I will have your son.Copy !req
695. Del, what's happening?Copy !req
696. - What?
- The kids.Copy !req
697. Sean, can you hear me?
Where are you?Copy !req
698. Sean! Can you hear me?
Where are you?Copy !req
699. Dad! I'm here!
We're almost to Town Square. Hurry up!Copy !req
700. Don't kick the church! It's religious!Copy !req
701. - It's locked is what it is.
- Fine.Copy !req
702. Okay.Copy !req
703. - We'll just have to do it right here.
- Like, really religious, Sean.Copy !req
704. Why don't we just go over
and do it in Burger King?Copy !req
705. You guys!Copy !req
706. Oh, shit!Copy !req
707. - Patrick, come on!
- Come on. Read the book. Go!Copy !req
708. - Read! Go!
- Wait!Copy !req
709. - Read!
- I'm flunking German!Copy !req
710. Read it in German. Try.Copy !req
711. Damn! Really, you should read it!Copy !req
712. - He's not a virgin, you stupid!
- Did you ask him?Copy !req
713. - Where you goin', Rudy?
- I'm in the goddamn club, aren't I?Copy !req
714. I don't believe this!Copy !req
715. Will you speak English?
I can't understand you!Copy !req
716. - Come on!
- Drunken munchkin warehouse!Copy !req
717. Yeah, yeah, what he said!Copy !req
718. Okay, skanks...Copy !req
719. come and get it.Copy !req
720. I don't believe this.Copy !req
721. - Please read!
- Oh, shit!Copy !req
722. Sean, look out!Copy !req
723. - Dad!
- You stay there!Copy !req
724. My God.Copy !req
725. Suck on this, you son of a bitch.Copy !req
726. Hey, asshole.Copy !req
727. You looked.Copy !req
728. It's okay.Copy !req
729. All right, let's try it again now, shall we?Copy !req
730. Look, you've got me upset!Copy !req
731. - Read it!
- Come on. Read!Copy !req
732. Oh, my God! I said it!Copy !req
733. All right!Copy !req
734. You did!
I have absolutely no idea how!Copy !req
735. Where's Limbo?Copy !req
736. Wejust went through some major shit,
and where's the big Limbo thing?Copy !req
737. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
738. - Holy shit!
- Kid, watch it!Copy !req
739. What the hell is that thing?Copy !req
740. Let's get him! Let's go!Copy !req
741. Go! Go!Copy !req
742. Are you absolutely sure that she is—Copy !req
743. You're not a virgin, are you?Copy !req
744. No? No, what do you mean, no?Copy !req
745. - Well, Steve, but he doesn't count!
- Doesn't count?Copy !req
746. Bang.Copy !req
747. God.Copy !req
748. Thank you.Copy !req
749. Told ya.Copy !req
750. Only one way to kill a werewolf.Copy !req
751. What?Copy !req
752. Is she a virgin?Copy !req
753. She? A virgin?Copy !req
754. Yes! A virgin! We'll use the girl!Copy !req
755. She can't read! She's five years old!Copy !req
756. I'll help her!Copy !req
757. Let me in, E.J.! Let me in!Copy !req
758. Hey! Fat Kid!Copy !req
759. Good job.Copy !req
760. My name is Horace.Copy !req
761. Don't look up. Don't look up.Copy !req
762. Hey! Hey, hold
it right there a minute.Copy !req
763. Hey! I said to stop right there.Copy !req
764. Dad, no!Copy !req
765. Give me the amulet, you bitch!Copy !req
766. Phoebe! That's my daughter!Copy !req
767. Bogus.Copy !req
768. Die!Copy !req
769. Dad!Copy !req
770. Sean! Please!Copy !req
771. Don't go!Copy !req
772. Don't go away!Copy !req
773. Don't go! Don't go!Copy !req
774. Bye.Copy !req
775. Don't go away, Frankenstein!Copy !req
776. Please don't go! Please!Copy !req
777. Please don't go away, Frankenstein!Copy !req
778. Bye.Copy !req
779. Mommy!Copy !req
780. She's fine.Copy !req
781. Hey, sweetheart. Oh, my-Copy !req
782. Who's Eugene?Copy !req
783. All right, son, where are they?
Where are the monsters?Copy !req
784. The mummy came in my house.Copy !req
785. Can somebody tell me what the Sam Hill
is goin' on around here?Copy !req
786. Well, we can, sir.Copy !req
787. Well, who are you?Copy !req
788. We're the Monster Squad.Copy !req
789. All right, pal! Yeah!Copy !req