1. Hi, there.Copy !req
2. Hey.Copy !req
3. You've got a fair amount
of blood on you there, sir.Copy !req
4. Oh. Huh.Copy !req
5. Yeah, it's not even mine.
It was just this...Copy !req
6. Never mind.Copy !req
7. Hey, listen, I need you to take
this thing off my hands,Copy !req
8. just make it someone else's
problem, you know?Copy !req
9. I mean, I thought my boys
were gonna love it, but, uh...Copy !req
10. Let me tell you, man,
they will not.Copy !req
11. No, it's not, uh... a toy,Copy !req
12. so just don't ever call it that.Copy !req
13. It's a, uh...Copy !req
14. It's...Copy !req
15. Actually, I don't know
exactly what it is.Copy !req
16. Besides, it appears
to be broken.Copy !req
17. See, the drumstick seems
to be stuck in the up position.Copy !req
18. You do not want the goddamn
drumstick to come down.Copy !req
19. Okay?Copy !req
20. Because when it does,Copy !req
21. I promise you,
we are all fucked to hell.Copy !req
22. Okay?Copy !req
23. Woah... Oh...Copy !req
24. Okay...Copy !req
25. Well, sir, can't speak for you,Copy !req
26. but, heh, I don't feel
especially fucked to hell.Copy !req
27. Hot dog.Copy !req
28. Who's smiling now,
you infernal son of a whore?Copy !req
29. YEAH!Copy !req
30. I don't know
if every fatherCopy !req
31. passes some secret horror
onto his kids.Copy !req
32. But mine sure did.Copy !req
33. My name is Hal Shelborn.Copy !req
34. This is me
and my twin brother, Bill.Copy !req
35. Well, this is us
before everything.Copy !req
36. Bill was the kind of kid
who would say, "Shake on it,"Copy !req
37. but then pull his hand back
and pretend to slick his hair.Copy !req
38. He was older than me
by three minutesCopy !req
39. and ate most
of my mum's placenta.Copy !req
40. So that made him
my "big'brother.Copy !req
41. A role he took seriously.Copy !req
42. And he treated me like shit
whenever he got the chance.Copy !req
43. I've been
meaning to tell you...Copy !req
44. Mum says she hates you
because you made dad leave,Copy !req
45. and now she has to go on dates.Copy !req
46. But I managed
to love him anyway,Copy !req
47. even if I did
sometimes fantasiseCopy !req
48. about being an only child.Copy !req
49. I hate you,
Bill Shelborn.Copy !req
50. My mum raised us
on her ownCopy !req
51. for as long as she could,
at least.Copy !req
52. And my mum,Copy !req
53. well, I can remember
her perfectly,Copy !req
54. like it was yesterday.Copy !req
55. Your father...Copy !req
56. Well, your father went out
for a pack of cigarettesCopy !req
57. and never came back.Copy !req
58. Just made
like an egg and...Copy !req
59. scrambled.Copy !req
60. And sure, sure,Copy !req
61. I could have been
one of his stewardesses, but,Copy !req
62. of course, the deadbeat
never took me anywhere.Copy !req
63. He just brought backCopy !req
64. Swiss cuckoo clocks
and bonsai trees.Copy !req
65. Knick-knacks
and souvenirsCopy !req
66. to stuff our closet full.Copy !req
67. And one day, my darling boys,Copy !req
68. all that horse shit
will be yours.Copy !req
69. We knew my mum thought
it was a bunch of junk.Copy !req
70. But for Bill and me,Copy !req
71. Dad's closet was full of clues
to who he was.Copy !req
72. There she is.Copy !req
73. Old deadbeat's disguise.Copy !req
74. The hell's that thing from?Copy !req
75. Paris, France or something?Copy !req
76. It says, "Organ Grinder Monkey."Copy !req
77. "Like Life."Copy !req
78. You mean "lifelike," dumb shit.Copy !req
79. No.Copy !req
80. What?Copy !req
81. Give me that thing.Copy !req
82. Here.Copy !req
83. You think this does junk
if I turn this?Copy !req
84. Don't, Bill. It's Dad's.Copy !req
85. Dad's gone, fuck face.Copy !req
86. And I'm his next of "skin,"Copy !req
87. so legally,
everything in here's mine.Copy !req
88. Stupid thing's broken anyway.Copy !req
89. Don't come in our room,
dumb shit.Copy !req
90. Shotgun, obviously.Copy !req
91. Christ, what's worse
than a blind date?Copy !req
92. I'd rather take my chancesCopy !req
93. and kiss a goddamn frog
and see what happens.Copy !req
94. Okay, boys!Copy !req
95. Uh, no soda
after you brush your teeth,Copy !req
96. and no fires,Copy !req
97. and no video games
because of the last fire.Copy !req
98. I tried
to tell them no fires,Copy !req
99. but these boys
are nothing but willish.Copy !req
100. Thank you,
babysitter Annie.Copy !req
101. I'll be home by midnight.Copy !req
102. Okay, boys,Copy !req
103. I've got only
one rule for tonight.Copy !req
104. Keep your hands off
the hot parts of the table.Copy !req
105. Okay?Copy !req
106. I'll try, but...Copy !req
107. I'm just a man.Copy !req
108. Bill, knock it off.Copy !req
109. Holy sh—Copy !req
110. Maybe an experience
like thatCopy !req
111. could have brought
me and Bill closer.Copy !req
112. But it turned out
one freak tragedyCopy !req
113. wasn't going to be
nearly enough.Copy !req
114. Fuck.Copy !req
115. How is her head still together?Copy !req
116. Sh. Sh. Sh.Copy !req
117. Don't think about it too much.Copy !req
118. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
119. Uuuuhhh...Copy !req
120. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
121. Today, we are here
with Annie Wilkes.Copy !req
122. Gone by accident...Copy !req
123. rather, in an accidentCopy !req
124. because, you know,
there's no accidents.Copy !req
125. Um... Is there a divine plan?Copy !req
126. Sure, you know, uh, maybe.Copy !req
127. Call it a coin toss,
you know, heads or tails, heh.Copy !req
128. But not Annie's headCopy !req
129. because that is,Copy !req
130. uh, separate.Copy !req
131. That's a separate issue. Uh...Copy !req
132. Uh... You know,
why her, though, right?Copy !req
133. Why Annie?Copy !req
134. Why not you?Copy !req
135. Or you?Copy !req
136. Everything for a reason,
yeah, totally.Copy !req
137. And it is what it is.Copy !req
138. Uuuhhh...Copy !req
139. It is what it is.Copy !req
140. The word of the Lord.Copy !req
141. Amen.Copy !req
142. Everything is an accident.Copy !req
143. Or nothing is an accident.Copy !req
144. Either way, same thing.Copy !req
145. It's not if or even how.Copy !req
146. It's only when.Copy !req
147. Everybody dies.Copy !req
148. And that's life.Copy !req
149. I'll die.Copy !req
150. And you will both die.Copy !req
151. And all of your friends
and their parentsCopy !req
152. and all of their pets
and everybody.Copy !req
153. Some of us peacefully
in our sleep.Copy !req
154. And some of us horribly...Copy !req
155. violently, tied up
with a clothesline,Copy !req
156. and screaming through
duct tape over our mouthsCopy !req
157. and all that jazz.Copy !req
158. And to hell with it.Copy !req
159. Come on, let's go dancing.Copy !req
160. It might have been
on the day of a funeral,Copy !req
161. but that probably was
the happiest day of my life.Copy !req
162. It's funny how quickly
that can change.Copy !req
163. Hey, kid.Copy !req
164. Your brother says
your dad left your mum.Copy !req
165. Lit out to Paris, France
to buy cigarettesCopy !req
166. 'cause you're a big fat baby
who cried all the time.Copy !req
167. And man,
don't your mum deserve better?Copy !req
168. I mean, don't she?Copy !req
169. - Um...
- I guess that meansCopy !req
170. your mum would be wearing
the pants in the house now, huh?Copy !req
171. I think that's
how it works, yeah.Copy !req
172. Aw, but...Copy !req
173. see, you're wearing pants.Copy !req
174. And two people
can't be wearingCopy !req
175. the pants in the house
at the same time.Copy !req
176. So, looks like you got yourself
a bit of a pants problem, kid.Copy !req
177. Honey, I'm making PB&J.Copy !req
178. Oh, and how am I?Copy !req
179. Oh, I'm great! I love slaving
over my two sons all day long.Copy !req
180. Mum!Copy !req
181. Yeah?Copy !req
182. Why'd you put
Dad's weird monkey in our room?Copy !req
183. You know I don't go
in there anymoreCopy !req
184. since I found that stiff sock.Copy !req
185. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
186. You didn't have anything to doCopy !req
187. with my babysitter's head,
right?Copy !req
188. - That'd be like—
- Yo!Copy !req
189. You really got
the hots for that thing, huh?Copy !req
190. - I—I don't.
- It's all good.Copy !req
191. You can have it, but...Copy !req
192. all you gotta do is
say you wanna marry it.Copy !req
193. But I don't wanna marry it.Copy !req
194. Say, "I wanna be
Mrs. Stupid Monkey."Copy !req
195. I wanna be Mrs. Stupid Monkey.Copy !req
196. Now say...Copy !req
197. "I wanna suck its banana."Copy !req
198. - No, Bill, no.
- Say it!Copy !req
199. Or I'll eat the rest
of your placenta, bitch.Copy !req
200. I wanna suck its banana.Copy !req
201. All right. We have a deal.Copy !req
202. You can have the monkey.Copy !req
203. Idiot.Copy !req
204. Between the ages of 12 and 15,Copy !req
205. the penis takes on
a life of its ownCopy !req
206. and becomes sensitiveCopy !req
207. to physical
and emotional horseplay.Copy !req
208. Around this time,Copy !req
209. the opposite sex becomes
both appealing and horrifying.Copy !req
210. Yo, Mrs. Torrance!Copy !req
211. Hal Shelborn's jerking
his monkey under his desk!Copy !req
212. Honey, I'm making devil's food.Copy !req
213. I don't fucking want any!Copy !req
214. Language!Copy !req
215. What are you,
a sailor in a shipyard?Copy !req
216. You.Copy !req
217. It's because of you
that deadbeat Bill this to me.Copy !req
218. You know who I'm talking about,
don't you?Copy !req
219. That arsehole kid
who lives in here with me...Copy !req
220. that's Bill.Copy !req
221. You wanna know something else?Copy !req
222. I wish Bill was dead.Copy !req
223. Hey, Mum, you home?Copy !req
224. Is dinner ready?Copy !req
225. Mum?Copy !req
226. Mum?Copy !req
227. You're not even making it yet?Copy !req
228. What the fuck?Copy !req
229. Oh, shit.Copy !req
230. MUMMY!Copy !req
231. The doctors called
what happened to my mumCopy !req
232. a boomerang aneurysm.Copy !req
233. But I was the only one
who knew what it really was.Copy !req
234. They said chances
of it happeningCopy !req
235. were one in 44 million.Copy !req
236. And that's just
another way to sayCopy !req
237. it has to happen to somebody.Copy !req
238. And that's how it works.Copy !req
239. You turn the key
and the drumsticks go up.Copy !req
240. They come down again
when it choosesCopy !req
241. who it wants to kill next.Copy !req
242. It kills who it wants
when it feels like it.Copy !req
243. And it doesn't owe you
an explanation.Copy !req
244. It doesn't take requests.Copy !req
245. It's true
what it says on the box.Copy !req
246. It's just like life.Copy !req
247. Uh... son,Copy !req
248. - perhaps it's best if you—
- Shut up!Copy !req
249. Hey, Mum!Copy !req
250. Mum, wake up!Copy !req
251. Mum?Copy !req
252. Mum, that's a funny joke!Copy !req
253. MUM!Copy !req
254. Wake up.Copy !req
255. Okay, you can keep talking.Copy !req
256. Oh...Copy !req
257. You know, your Aunt Ida
and your Uncle Chip...Copy !req
258. never wanted kids.Copy !req
259. Nah.Copy !req
260. Always just kind of preferred
a life where you sit downCopy !req
261. and you don't stand up again
until you want to.Copy !req
262. Also, we're swingers, but...Copy !req
263. Oh, well.Copy !req
264. And I want you to knowCopy !req
265. we're gonna do our very best
with you boys.Copy !req
266. It's just that our very best
might be...Copy !req
267. pretty bad.Copy !req
268. Oh... oh, fuck.Copy !req
269. Fuck!Copy !req
270. What the fuck?Copy !req
271. Fuck.Copy !req
272. I put the pieces
in a garbage bagCopy !req
273. and made sure
it got on a garbage truck.Copy !req
274. And I assumed that would be
the end of it.Copy !req
275. But after that,Copy !req
276. Bill and I were never the same.Copy !req
277. I mean, we looked the same
because we were twins,Copy !req
278. and, well, you know what I mean.Copy !req
279. Aunt Ida and Uncle Chip
picked up Bill and meCopy !req
280. and moved us to Maine.Copy !req
281. And I guess I hoped we'd left
the worst of it behind us.Copy !req
282. You going to take off
your suit, Bill?Copy !req
283. If I take it off,
then I'll have to put it back onCopy !req
284. as soon as there's
another funeral.Copy !req
285. But if I don't take it off,Copy !req
286. then I won't have
to put it back on.Copy !req
287. So there won't be
any more funerals.Copy !req
288. Sleep tight, you two.Copy !req
289. Here comes trouble,
here it comes!Copy !req
290. Why the hell
did you bring it?Copy !req
291. I didn't. I chopped it up.Copy !req
292. Don't look chopped up to me.Copy !req
293. I'm telling you, Bill,Copy !req
294. it's a bad monkey.Copy !req
295. It's a bad, magic,
killer monkey.Copy !req
296. You think it killed
Baby sitter Annie?Copy !req
297. Maybe. Probably.
I—I don't know.Copy !req
298. I was going to marry that girl.Copy !req
299. I know you were, Bill.Copy !req
300. We should try it on purpose to
see if anyone else we know dies.Copy !req
301. No, we shouldn't. I mean,
what if it gets one of us?Copy !req
302. Then I promise to pretend
to be sad when you're dead.Copy !req
303. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
304. You think it could kill the
person who turns the key or not?Copy !req
305. How the hell should I know?Copy !req
306. Do you think Mum turned it?Copy !req
307. I'm gonna try it.Copy !req
308. Don't, Bill—Copy !req
309. It was a hunting accident,
but not the usual kind.Copy !req
310. Uncle Chip was trampled
by a stampede of 67 wild horsesCopy !req
311. in his sleeping bag
on a camping trip.Copy !req
312. I overheard the undertaker
say that,Copy !req
313. when they dumped
the body out,Copy !req
314. it looked like someone
had drop-kicked a cherry pie.Copy !req
315. I don't mind much
that Uncle Chip's gone.Copy !req
316. He was kind of an arsehole.Copy !req
317. I just mind more that I feel
pretty good it wasn't me.Copy !req
318. But it's got to be done,
you know?Copy !req
319. To keep it away
from the peopleCopy !req
320. who might feel really good
about using it,Copy !req
321. like the Nazis and RussiansCopy !req
322. and "Iran-qis" and whatnot.Copy !req
323. We knew that
it couldn't be destroyed,Copy !req
324. so we hoped
that we could maybe contain it.Copy !req
325. Just get rid of it.Copy !req
326. Make it go the fuck away.Copy !req
327. And for a long time, anyway,Copy !req
328. it really seemed like it had.Copy !req
329. Ah!Copy !req
330. I haven't seen the monkey
since we threw it down the well,Copy !req
331. but it feels like only a matter
of time before it comes back.Copy !req
332. This is me today.Copy !req
333. I pretty much lost
all contact with Bill,Copy !req
334. and I'm good with that.Copy !req
335. He was kind of
an arsehole anyways.Copy !req
336. I don't have any friends,Copy !req
337. and I do my best
to stay away from familyCopy !req
338. for fear that
if the monkey returns,Copy !req
339. it'll kill someone close to me.Copy !req
340. But staying away from family,Copy !req
341. Excuse me!Copy !req
342. that's easier said than done.Copy !req
343. Well, fuck your mother!Copy !req
344. Hey, Dwayne.Copy !req
345. - Oh, man!
- Come in, come in.Copy !req
346. Oh no, it's cool.Copy !req
347. I gotta run early today.
I gotta pick up my kid.Copy !req
348. Wait, you got a kid?Copy !req
349. Shit, man, that sucks.Copy !req
350. Does it live with you?Copy !req
351. Uh, no, no he doesn't,Copy !req
352. but I get to see him
once a year,Copy !req
353. so I'm taking him
to Horror Heaven.Copy !req
354. Yeah.Copy !req
355. Roller coasters, I guess.Copy !req
356. Once a year?Copy !req
357. Shit, man, that sucks.Copy !req
358. I bet your ex-wife's
some type of mega bitch, huh?Copy !req
359. Huh?Copy !req
360. Oh! No, the once-a-year thing,
that was my idea.Copy !req
361. It turns out I'm kind of
a bad influence, you know.Copy !req
362. "Here comes trouble."Copy !req
363. Who, you?Copy !req
364. It's not like, you know,Copy !req
365. I beheld a pale horse,
and on it was a pale rider,Copy !req
366. and the rider's name was,
you know, Death.Copy !req
367. But, uh...Copy !req
368. Yeah, there has been some death.Copy !req
369. Shit, man, that sucks.Copy !req
370. Pff! Jet skis, come on.
Douchebag.Copy !req
371. "Love... Hal."Copy !req
372. Fuck.Copy !req
373. Feel that
parental energy...Copy !req
374. transferred from you to me.Copy !req
375. Petey's been asking about you
more and more, Hal.Copy !req
376. And it's breaking our hearts.Copy !req
377. About me?Copy !req
378. What about me? Why?Copy !req
379. Because
you're his father.Copy !req
380. And he's doing
a family tree school project.Copy !req
381. And like it or not,
you're one of the branches.Copy !req
382. Look, I—Copy !req
383. I care about Petey.Copy !req
384. I do. Like, I...Copy !req
385. I care about him a lot,
like, a lot, lot.Copy !req
386. Just now, when we were
on the couch together,Copy !req
387. I took your power.Copy !req
388. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said
you could take my power.Copy !req
389. It doesn't matter anymore.Copy !req
390. Ted has decidedCopy !req
391. - to legally adopt Petey.
- What?Copy !req
392. And once
the adoption's finalised...Copy !req
393. it won't be necessary
for you to see Petey at all.Copy !req
394. But you can't just do that.Copy !req
395. He can't just do that.Copy !req
396. As the leading expert
in my field,Copy !req
397. can't I?Copy !req
398. Listen, you and Petey
have this time.Copy !req
399. So just take the week,Copy !req
400. lock in some nice memories,Copy !req
401. and then cleanly cut it off.Copy !req
402. Like a vestigial tail.Copy !req
403. That's what you want. Isn't it?Copy !req
404. No. It's not what I want.Copy !req
405. I want to spend time with Petey.
It's just, you know...Copy !req
406. Vestigial?Copy !req
407. It means something
that has become functionless,Copy !req
408. and as a result,
is no longer necessary.Copy !req
409. - I know what it means, Ted.
- I'm sure you do.Copy !req
410. - I do.
- Well, I have your power, so...Copy !req
411. Well, I peed in one of
your bushes on the way in, so...Copy !req
412. Well, this is the part where
I suggest that we arm wrestle.Copy !req
413. What? Arm wrestle for what?Copy !req
414. For all the marbles.Copy !req
415. And by marbles, I am, of course,
referring to your little balls.Copy !req
416. - My—
- Hey.Copy !req
417. Honey...Copy !req
418. Oh, Petey. Hey.Copy !req
419. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
420. What are you guys talking about?Copy !req
421. What do you mean,Copy !req
422. it reminds you of your dad?Copy !req
423. You talking
about the shit-eating grinCopy !req
424. or the hairy back and arms?Copy !req
425. Do you ever
wonder where he is?Copy !req
426. Dad, I mean.Copy !req
427. Baby, that ain't worth it.Copy !req
428. But if you're really looking
for an answer,Copy !req
429. I'd have to go with either...Copy !req
430. at a card table
or under a hooker.Copy !req
431. Oh, sick, Ma. Come on.Copy !req
432. Gross.Copy !req
433. Hey, Beauchamps, honey,Copy !req
434. you want a drag?Copy !req
435. But are you still thinking
of selling that monkey thingCopy !req
436. to the nut
who never leaves his house?Copy !req
437. I mean, have you ever
even met this guy face to face?Copy !req
438. Sounds like a real
fucking pervert to me.Copy !req
439. So, do you have
any brothers or sisters?Copy !req
440. Is that your family tree thing?Copy !req
441. What gave it away?Copy !req
442. Okay.Copy !req
443. So, um...Copy !req
444. brothers, sisters?Copy !req
445. Yes, no?Copy !req
446. Uh... no.Copy !req
447. No to both?Copy !req
448. Yeah, no, neither.Copy !req
449. Only child... just like me.Copy !req
450. And, uh, what's your mum's name?Copy !req
451. Um...Copy !req
452. Lois.Copy !req
453. My mum's name was...Copy !req
454. Lois.Copy !req
455. Hey, uh... Oof.Copy !req
456. It's getting kind of late, darn.Copy !req
457. I should get you some, uh,
some dinner, huh?Copy !req
458. Only if you want me
to, like, survive.Copy !req
459. Cool.Copy !req
460. Say it, or I'll eat
the rest of your placenta...Copy !req
461. I promise
to pretend to be sadCopy !req
462. when you're dead.Copy !req
463. What the fuck?Copy !req
464. Christ.Copy !req
465. What the fuck?Copy !req
466. Hello.Copy !req
467. Well, hello, dumb shit.Copy !req
468. Bill.Copy !req
469. Can't be the only person
who calls you dumb shit.Copy !req
470. How did you know
how to reach me, Bill?Copy !req
471. I haven't heard from you
in, what, five years?Copy !req
472. Haven't seen you
in something like 10?Copy !req
473. Nine and eleven,
and those are just numbers.Copy !req
474. The police gave me yours.Copy !req
475. What do you mean, the police?Copy !req
476. I have news.Copy !req
477. Aunt Ida is no more.Copy !req
478. Oh, shit.Copy !req
479. Well, I guess
she was kind of old.Copy !req
480. Was she sick or something?Copy !req
481. Actually,
it seems the old girlCopy !req
482. was having somewhat
of a renaissance,Copy !req
483. putting her house on the market,
cleaning out her closet.Copy !req
484. The nice young policewoman
I spoke to...Copy !req
485. used the phrase,
"freak accident."Copy !req
486. Okay, and? What?Copy !req
487. Someone has to go
through her belongings,Copy !req
488. and you're the next of kin.Copy !req
489. Technically,
you're the next of kin, Bill.Copy !req
490. This is my week with Petey,
so no.Copy !req
491. Your week? That's
all you get with yours on?Copy !req
492. - Also, you're weak.
- What do you want, Bill?Copy !req
493. Go to Aunt Ida's house
and make sure "it'isn't there.Copy !req
494. "It" is at the bottom of a well.Copy !req
495. "It" can teleport
and you know it.Copy !req
496. Why don't you bring
Petey along, hmm?Copy !req
497. Let him see you
being brave for a change.Copy !req
498. Jesus.Copy !req
499. What do fathers
and their estranged sonsCopy !req
500. say to each other?Copy !req
501. Road trip?Copy !req
502. Why would it be
at Aunt Ida's anyway?Copy !req
503. Because it's
attached itself to our familyCopy !req
504. and likes to kill us.Copy !req
505. And I don't want to die,
and presumablyCopy !req
506. you don't want Petey
to die either.Copy !req
507. And what if
I find it, huh?Copy !req
508. What am I supposed to do,Copy !req
509. drop it from a fucking plane?
It'll probably bounce!Copy !req
510. No, you never let it out
of your sight again,Copy !req
511. so no one turns the key.Copy !req
512. Presumably you don't want
Petey to—Copy !req
513. Stop talking about Petey.Copy !req
514. The monkey
must be vanquished.Copy !req
515. Why don't you vanquish it,
huh, Bill?Copy !req
516. You're smaller, you go.Copy !req
517. Bill. Bi... Fuck!Copy !req
518. Fuck!Copy !req
519. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!Copy !req
520. Fuck! What the fuck?Copy !req
521. Is that a leg? Fuck!Copy !req
522. Okay, okay.Copy !req
523. - Petey, wake up. Come on.
- What?Copy !req
524. - We gotta go. Let's go.
- What time is it?Copy !req
525. What the fuck?Copy !req
526. Hey, language.Copy !req
527. And we gotta go, all right?Copy !req
528. There was a thing outside.Copy !req
529. It wasn't a thing.Copy !req
530. It was a woman,
and either way, we gotta split.Copy !req
531. All right? So come on, let's go.Copy !req
532. It's the middle of the night.
Are you high?Copy !req
533. No, I wish, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
534. No, don't do drugs. I mean it.Copy !req
535. But come on,
let's go. Hurry up.Copy !req
536. I'm going to bed.Copy !req
537. WE GOTTA MAKE LIKE EGGS
AND SCRAMBLE!Copy !req
538. Hey, Petey, uh...
sorry about that.Copy !req
539. It's just that
my aunt Ida died,Copy !req
540. and I gotta deal
with a lot of her stuff.Copy !req
541. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
542. I'd really rather you didn't.Copy !req
543. How'd your mum die?Copy !req
544. Is this
for your family tree thing?Copy !req
545. Because usually family trees
are about the whosCopy !req
546. and the whens, not the whys
and the, you know, how.Copy !req
547. Was your aunt the one that
raised you after your mum died?Copy !req
548. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
549. Yeah, yeah, she did.Copy !req
550. Maybe you could, uh,Copy !req
551. take me to your aunt's house
with you.Copy !req
552. I could help you
with her stuff and—Copy !req
553. You're not coming
with me, Petey.Copy !req
554. Why not?Copy !req
555. Because it's depressing,
all right?Copy !req
556. We were supposed to go
to a theme park,Copy !req
557. not into, you know...Copy !req
558. darkness and death.Copy !req
559. I know about the adoption, Hal.Copy !req
560. Oh.Copy !req
561. And so you can either just...Copy !req
562. cut me off and cut this off,Copy !req
563. or we can spendCopy !req
564. the rest of the little time
that we have left together...Copy !req
565. together.Copy !req
566. I wonder which one
Lois would have chosen.Copy !req
567. What are you doing
in here all alone, Hal?Copy !req
568. Or do I not want to know?Copy !req
569. Just thinking, I guess.Copy !req
570. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
571. - About what?
- I don't know.Copy !req
572. The future.Copy !req
573. You got any advice?Copy !req
574. Um, well...Copy !req
575. take care of your teeth.Copy !req
576. And take care of your gut.Copy !req
577. And take life as it comes.Copy !req
578. You know, the worst thing
you can do is try to force it.Copy !req
579. But really, I think
that the most important thingCopy !req
580. for you to remember is...Copy !req
581. try not to kill
everybody around you.Copy !req
582. Petey? Pe...Copy !req
583. Petey?Copy !req
584. Petey?Copy !req
585. Hey, Petey, buddy?Copy !req
586. Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.Copy !req
587. Fuck, fuck, fuck.Copy !req
588. Check it out.
There's a place in town.Copy !req
589. They do skydiving lessons.Copy !req
590. I feel like
it's one of those thingsCopy !req
591. where you're either
really good at it or you aren't.Copy !req
592. It only takes
one lesson to find out.Copy !req
593. Hey, funny.Copy !req
594. That's... that's funny.Copy !req
595. Yeah? Well, you're
kind of funny too, Hal.Copy !req
596. Oh,
and they do weddings.Copy !req
597. Hey, uh, do me a favour,
all right?Copy !req
598. Uh, wait in the car
while I deal with this.Copy !req
599. What? No way.Copy !req
600. I want to see your old room
like they do in the movies.Copy !req
601. No, Petey.Copy !req
602. Why not?Copy !req
603. Just because...
because I said so.Copy !req
604. All right. Fine.Copy !req
605. Then I have to go number two.Copy !req
606. What? Why didn't you go
at the motel?Copy !req
607. There's a lot you don't know
about me, Hal.Copy !req
608. For instance,Copy !req
609. I'm one of those kids
that can only go poo in a house.Copy !req
610. Are you being serious?Copy !req
611. It's a tough bet to lose, Hal.Copy !req
612. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
613. Hi.Copy !req
614. Hey there. Sorry. Ah.Copy !req
615. Oh, window won't go down.Copy !req
616. - Yeah, okay.
- Hey there.Copy !req
617. - How are you?
- Hi! I'm Barbara.Copy !req
618. - Hi.
- You must be Hal Shelborn.Copy !req
619. Your brother Bill Shelborn
said you'd be coming.Copy !req
620. Oh, yeah, right, right.Copy !req
621. Uh, hi, Barbara. Yeah.Copy !req
622. That
brother Bill of yoursCopy !req
623. is quite the character,
isn't he?Copy !req
624. - Yeah.
- Your brother Bill, I mean!Copy !req
625. Yes, yes.
He's quite the character. Yeah.Copy !req
626. Yeah. Wow,
who's this little slugger?Copy !req
627. Oh, this is, uh,
this is my son, Petey.Copy !req
628. Oh, hello there.Copy !req
629. Oh, no, thanks, Barbara.Copy !req
630. I'm just a kid
who doesn't buy many houses.Copy !req
631. But I also didn't know
that I have an uncle.Copy !req
632. So, yeah, thanks for that.Copy !req
633. Um, it's funny, because
I actually asked Hal hereCopy !req
634. if he had any siblings
yesterday.Copy !req
635. But he flat out lied
to my face.Copy !req
636. - Well...
- But it's cool.Copy !req
637. He's only going
to be my dad for, like,Copy !req
638. a few more days anyway,Copy !req
639. 'cause he's being swapped out
for a leading expert.Copy !req
640. - Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
641. - Well...
- So no card. Okay.Copy !req
642. - No card, yeah.
- Let's see the house.Copy !req
643. Were you and your aunt
very close?Copy !req
644. Uh, sure. Very.Copy !req
645. Is this all her stuff?Copy !req
646. I felt like she had more stuff.Copy !req
647. Oh, well,
we did have that estate saleCopy !req
648. the day after she died.Copy !req
649. We had a great turnout, too.Copy !req
650. We must have made over $100, ha!Copy !req
651. Right...Copy !req
652. Okay.Copy !req
653. Now, let's see,
that would have been on Sunday,Copy !req
654. because ever since Monday,Copy !req
655. things have been
a bit, uh, messy around here.Copy !req
656. Yeah. Your aunt, of course,
was Monday.Copy !req
657. And then, oh Lord,Copy !req
658. first thing Tuesday,
it was Mitch McDonald.Copy !req
659. And then Wednesday
was Burt Burgerson.Copy !req
660. And then Nancy Risoli.Copy !req
661. But there aren't any cobras
in Maine, I mean, are there?Copy !req
662. Well, there was the one.Copy !req
663. No, every day since Monday,Copy !req
664. at least one Casco local
has just... poof!Copy !req
665. Sometimes two or three or fourCopy !req
666. or even five Casco locals
have just poof...Copy !req
667. - Right. OK.
- And poof and poof!Copy !req
668. Great, yeah, yeah, no, I get it.Copy !req
669. Could we look at the other
closet? It's this way, I think.Copy !req
670. Absolutely, follow me.Copy !req
671. Poof!Copy !req
672. You're fucking twins?Copy !req
673. You know, my mother
used to always sayCopy !req
674. whenever there was a plane crashCopy !req
675. or a school bus going off
into the riverCopy !req
676. and mass fatalities
or what have you...Copy !req
677. She used to always say,Copy !req
678. "Looks like God's
bowling strikes tonight."Copy !req
679. Oh, that's odd.Copy !req
680. I don't remember locking this.Copy !req
681. Hey, you wouldn't happen
to rememberCopy !req
682. if my aunt had a wind-up
toy monkey at the yard sale?Copy !req
683. Oh, no, I don't think so.Copy !req
684. Oh, not a cherished
childhood memory, now, was it?Copy !req
685. Oh, a first little furry friendCopy !req
686. filled with whimsy and wonder?Copy !req
687. No, it's no big deal. Thanks.Copy !req
688. Okay.Copy !req
689. Nope, not that one.Copy !req
690. How are we doing
with that key?Copy !req
691. Oh... Don't you worry
your pretty little head.Copy !req
692. Oh mercy,
did I say that out loud?Copy !req
693. Watch out!Copy !req
694. You are pretty, though.Copy !req
695. - Oh!
- You know what?Copy !req
696. - I think we should go down...
- It looks like I didCopy !req
697. my own little process
of elimination!Copy !req
698. No, no, no!Copy !req
699. Everything
okay up there?Copy !req
700. Yeah, everything's fine.Copy !req
701. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
702. And you were
just standing there,Copy !req
703. hands to yourself,
is that right?Copy !req
704. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
705. And you knew there was a gun
in the house, or not so much?Copy !req
706. Uh, no.Copy !req
707. Okay.Copy !req
708. I'm gonna have to ask
you don't leave townCopy !req
709. until we can figure
a few things out.Copy !req
710. What? No, no, no, officer.Copy !req
711. I promised my son
that I was gonna take himCopy !req
712. - to Horror Heaven.
- Actually, officer,Copy !req
713. we moved off
going to Horror Heaven.Copy !req
714. This is obviously
far more important.Copy !req
715. - Smart kid.
- Hmm.Copy !req
716. Find a motel.Copy !req
717. I'd say stay here, but it's
a goddamn mess in there.Copy !req
718. I mean, have you actually
been up there?Copy !req
719. It's like that restaurant...Copy !req
720. Spaghetti City.Copy !req
721. Hey, bud, you wanna go
wait in the car?Copy !req
722. Yeah, that's your favourite thing
for me to do anyway, isn't it?Copy !req
723. Just stay away.Copy !req
724. They're bringing
the body out!Copy !req
725. Let's go, Casco!
Let's go, Casco! Let's go!Copy !req
726. Hello?Copy !req
727. Hal Shelborn, please,
if he's available.Copy !req
728. - Bill?
- Thank goodness.Copy !req
729. And Petey? Is he available, too?Copy !req
730. Yeah, look,
we're fine, but, um...Copy !req
731. The monkey's not here.Copy !req
732. Aunt Ida had a goddamn
yard sale, so it could've been,Copy !req
733. but now it could be
anywhere with anyone.Copy !req
734. Well, that's not good.
That's bad.Copy !req
735. Yeah, there's all kinds of shit
happening in town,Copy !req
736. people dying in not normal ways.Copy !req
737. Police told me I can't leave.Copy !req
738. Go to the motel.
Await my signal.Copy !req
739. Await your fucking signal?Copy !req
740. Wait, Bill, where are you?Copy !req
741. Bill, are you living in town?Copy !req
742. Stupid.Copy !req
743. Shelborn, Shelborn...
Argh. Nope.Copy !req
744. "Mrs. Monkey"?Copy !req
745. Hello.Copy !req
746. If this is in regards to my ad,Copy !req
747. I'm happy to report
that my questCopy !req
748. for finding my beloved toy
monkey is over.Copy !req
749. Thank you for calling
and be safe out there.Copy !req
750. At the very moment
you slipped from my fingers,Copy !req
751. I suddenly knew the terrible
truth about everything.Copy !req
752. That my dumb shit brotherCopy !req
753. had turned your key
and killed my mum.Copy !req
754. So I went back to get you
as soon as I could.Copy !req
755. But you were gone.Copy !req
756. Leaving behind a sign
for me and only me.Copy !req
757. That one day, you'd be back.Copy !req
758. And so I waited.Copy !req
759. And for the longest time,Copy !req
760. there was nothing.Copy !req
761. A hundred percent, pure,
medical-grade nothingness.Copy !req
762. But then...Copy !req
763. there you were.Copy !req
764. Suddenly, everywhere
I looked, you were there.Copy !req
765. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
766. As constant as the sun,
the moon, and the stars.Copy !req
767. As if you had always been
looking down on me.Copy !req
768. Letting me know what I had
always wanted to be true.Copy !req
769. That you'd come back
to help me seek my revenge.Copy !req
770. I returned to the places
where I thought you might be.Copy !req
771. Foolishly believing that I could
make you appear again.Copy !req
772. Fuck.Copy !req
773. That it was I
who might find you again.Copy !req
774. So I made myself ready
for your return.Copy !req
775. Reworking my old
childhood funeral suitCopy !req
776. in anticipation of...Copy !req
777. more funerals.Copy !req
778. And so that I might once againCopy !req
779. bear witness
to your terrible glory.Copy !req
780. Fuck!Copy !req
781. So I looked, and behold,
a pale horse,Copy !req
782. and his name that sat on him
was Death.Copy !req
783. Mrs. Monkey.Copy !req
784. And now, here we are.Copy !req
785. Together at last.Copy !req
786. With only one thing left to do.Copy !req
787. In your infinite wisdom,Copy !req
788. I trust your flaming sword
of righteousnessCopy !req
789. will cut the foul airCopy !req
790. and smite the right person.Copy !req
791. And I know you know exactly
who I'm talking about.Copy !req
792. Shit, man, that sucks.Copy !req
793. Shit, man, that sucks! Ah!Copy !req
794. What?Copy !req
795. Um, uh, it's Ricky.Copy !req
796. What is it?
I'm extremely busy.Copy !req
797. Okay, yeah, so...Copy !req
798. I hope this isn't weird,
but I was wondering,Copy !req
799. you know, if maybe I could
give you your 15 bucks backCopy !req
800. and instead I could just keep
the toy monkey thing.Copy !req
801. It's not a toy,
don't ever call it that.Copy !req
802. Right, yeah, no,
I thought the same thing too.Copy !req
803. It just sort of makes me think
about my dad,Copy !req
804. which I know
is kind of a weird thingCopy !req
805. for, like, a guy to say, like,
to another guy.Copy !req
806. Does it hurt very much
when you think, Ricky?Copy !req
807. - Well—
- "Uh... Well, well... "Copy !req
808. Did you know that 27%
of all English-speaking peopleCopy !req
809. will either say, "oh, shit"
or "holy shit" before they die?Copy !req
810. Now it's funny, because deathCopy !req
811. is the one big thing
that'll happen to all of us,Copy !req
812. and yet we still can't help
but be somehow surprised by it.Copy !req
813. Right on, man.Copy !req
814. So anyway,Copy !req
815. I saw your brother.Copy !req
816. He looks like you.Copy !req
817. With that's, like, uh...Copy !req
818. that's, like,
your nephew then, huh?Copy !req
819. What if Petey
turned the key?Copy !req
820. So... so, can I have it back?Copy !req
821. Never. I employed you
to find the monkey,Copy !req
822. not to fall in love with it.Copy !req
823. Now fuck off.Copy !req
824. Fuck you...Copy !req
825. Hey, Ma, are you home
or are you at the factory?Copy !req
826. Lousy deadbeat.Copy !req
827. Yo, Beauchamps!Copy !req
828. You got any extra bullets?Copy !req
829. What calibre?Copy !req
830. Hey, you still got
some of Barbara's blood on you.Copy !req
831. Yeah.Copy !req
832. Accidents happen.Copy !req
833. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
834. Ha ha.Copy !req
835. Uh, nope.Copy !req
836. You ever killed a man?Copy !req
837. I...Copy !req
838. Jesus.Copy !req
839. Does Mum know?Copy !req
840. No, I haven't killed anybody.Copy !req
841. Of course I haven't
killed anybody.Copy !req
842. Look, when we get back to the
motel, I'm gonna call your mumCopy !req
843. and I'm gonna tell her
what happened.Copy !req
844. She'll think I'm not safe
to be around and...Copy !req
845. she'll be right.Copy !req
846. So Ted will just adopt me and...Copy !req
847. you'll never have
to see me again?Copy !req
848. You're better off with Ted,
all right?Copy !req
849. Fuck you, man.Copy !req
850. Hey, Petey...Copy !req
851. Well, I'm here if you need me.Copy !req
852. You just do your thing
in the bathroom, okay?Copy !req
853. And if you wanna have a talk,Copy !req
854. we can have a proper talk,
all right, buddy?Copy !req
855. Yes?Copy !req
856. It's me. You have it,
don't you?Copy !req
857. I don't know, maybe.Copy !req
858. Come on, Bill,
Mrs. Monkey?Copy !req
859. I know you are, but what am I?Copy !req
860. Stop turning the key!Copy !req
861. Its arms aren't fucking
long enough or articulate enoughCopy !req
862. to reach back there itself,
so somebody has to.Copy !req
863. And also, no.Copy !req
864. Jesus
fucking Christ, Bill,Copy !req
865. these are innocent people.Copy !req
866. Look, I...
I don't care about me.Copy !req
867. All that matters is that Petey
is safe, so stop turning it.Copy !req
868. If you want me
to stop turning the key,Copy !req
869. bring Petey to me
so he can turn it instead.Copy !req
870. What? No. Why?Copy !req
871. The person who turns
the key never dies.Copy !req
872. You've known that since
we were kids, haven't you, Hal?Copy !req
873. What?Copy !req
874. What are you talking about?Copy !req
875. Where are you, Bill?Copy !req
876. If you want Petey
to be safe,Copy !req
877. all Petey has to do
is turn the keyCopy !req
878. and keep turning the key
forever and ever and ever,Copy !req
879. and Petey will never die.Copy !req
880. Listen to me,
Bill, all right?Copy !req
881. Let me get Petey out of here,
then we'll talk, all right?Copy !req
882. We'll figure out
what we're gonna do.Copy !req
883. Either I keep turning
the key or Petey turns the key.Copy !req
884. Call me back when you made
your decision.Copy !req
885. Wait, wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
886. Bill, Bi—Copy !req
887. Fuck!Copy !req
888. Hey, Petey? Petey?Copy !req
889. Hey, Petey?Copy !req
890. Hey, buddy,
we gotta go, all right?Copy !req
891. I gotta take you back
to your mum's.Copy !req
892. Petey, open the door! Come on!Copy !req
893. Petey!Copy !req
894. Petey, open the door!Copy !req
895. Come on, we gotta go right now!Copy !req
896. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
897. Don't have a heart attack.Copy !req
898. Or do, you know?
You want out of my life so bad,Copy !req
899. it might just be
a nice shortcut.Copy !req
900. Petey, what the fuck?
Why didn't you answer the door?Copy !req
901. Why do you care?
Why would you even have a kidCopy !req
902. if all you're gonna do is just
keep yourself away from me?Copy !req
903. I didn't exactly know
what I was doing, all right?Copy !req
904. I was just a stupid, dumb kid.Copy !req
905. So I was an accident?
Is that what you're saying?Copy !req
906. Everything is an accident, yes.Copy !req
907. Wow, nice one.Copy !req
908. Great to hear.Copy !req
909. I... That's not what I...Copy !req
910. Yes, it was an accident, Petey.Copy !req
911. But you are not a mistake.Copy !req
912. I'm so glad you're here with me.Copy !req
913. You're very precious to me.Copy !req
914. But that's why I stay away,
because I...Copy !req
915. I come with all sorts
of weird baggage,Copy !req
916. and I don't want you
to have to deal with that.Copy !req
917. - Like what?
- Like...Copy !req
918. Bad stuff, Petey, like...Copy !req
919. like evil stuff.Copy !req
920. Stuff I got from my dad, and I
don't want to pass it on to you.Copy !req
921. What are you talking about?
Like what?Copy !req
922. Like...Copy !req
923. Hold on.Copy !req
924. Open up,
it's the motherfucking police!Copy !req
925. All right, all right.Copy !req
926. Shut up! Shut up and hands up!Copy !req
927. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Just relax, all right?Copy !req
928. - Sh, sh!
- Just relax, relax.Copy !req
929. - Get the keys.
- What?Copy !req
930. - COME ON!
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
931. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
932. All right, all right.Copy !req
933. We're gonna go
for a little drive, okay?Copy !req
934. Okay, all right.Copy !req
935. All right, stop here.Copy !req
936. Where are we?Copy !req
937. Huh?Copy !req
938. Where are we?Copy !req
939. That's your brother's house!Copy !req
940. Or his fortress.Copy !req
941. Don't pretend like
you don't know where we are!Copy !req
942. I don't know, all right?Copy !req
943. We're, you know,
we're estranged.Copy !req
944. - Ah, shit, man, that sucks.
- Thanks.Copy !req
945. - Shut up!
- Okay.Copy !req
946. You, you go inside,Copy !req
947. you make nice with your uncle,
you get me the monkey.Copy !req
948. - And you bring it out, okay?
- What monkey?Copy !req
949. It's... It's got
a little red vest,Copy !req
950. and it holds a drum,
and I need it.Copy !req
951. Why does this guy know
about a monkey and I don't?Copy !req
952. He doesn't know about it
and he's not going in there.Copy !req
953. It's a toy monkey?Copy !req
954. Don't call it that,
all right?Copy !req
955. It's not. It's...Copy !req
956. It's evil.Copy !req
957. It's basically the devil,
all right?Copy !req
958. It's a toy monkey.Copy !req
959. I was gonna tell you
when you were older, okay?Copy !req
960. You've been a goddamn deadbeat
dad because of a toy monkey?Copy !req
961. What the fuck?Copy !req
962. Hey, language, and yes,
but that's why we have to getCopy !req
963. as far away
from this place as possible.Copy !req
964. Seriously, kid, you gotta hope
you get that goddamn monkey,Copy !req
965. because I'm gonna
shoot this guy.Copy !req
966. All right, just let me go
in there with him.Copy !req
967. - Please.
- No!Copy !req
968. There is a doggy door
around back,Copy !req
969. and your kid better hope
that he's scrawny enough to fit.Copy !req
970. You don't call the cops
or do anything.Copy !req
971. You get in there,
you get me the monkey,Copy !req
972. or I swear I'm gonna shoot
you both, like, a lot of times.Copy !req
973. He's not going in there.Copy !req
974. - Shut up!
- All right.Copy !req
975. Go.Copy !req
976. Hal...Copy !req
977. this is some fucked up shit.Copy !req
978. I know.Copy !req
979. So whatever you do,Copy !req
980. don't turn the key
in the monkey's back.Copy !req
981. Okay, okay!Copy !req
982. Fuck...Copy !req
983. Fuck.Copy !req
984. Huh.Copy !req
985. Kinda cool... I guess.Copy !req
986. You're not really a cop,
are you?Copy !req
987. Shut up! Of course not.Copy !req
988. I hate cops.Copy !req
989. My dad was a cop.Copy !req
990. Still is, for all I know.Copy !req
991. You know, my mum said
he was out chasing pussy,Copy !req
992. but I'm all like, there's pussy
here in town, you know?Copy !req
993. - Yeah, I know.
- But whatever.Copy !req
994. He left.Copy !req
995. And that's why I hate cops.Copy !req
996. But also they're cops, you know?Copy !req
997. Which is the best reason
to hate cops.Copy !req
998. What the fuck?Copy !req
999. Uh...Copy !req
1000. What the hell
is that doing there?Copy !req
1001. Hit it with your brights.Copy !req
1002. Hit it with my brights, okay.Copy !req
1003. Oh, gross! Shut it off!Copy !req
1004. - Okay!
- Shut it off!Copy !req
1005. I'm shutting it off. Jesus!Copy !req
1006. In your
infinite wisdom,Copy !req
1007. I trust your flaming sword
of righteousnessCopy !req
1008. will cut the foul air
and strike the right personCopy !req
1009. and only the right person.Copy !req
1010. Uncle Bill?Copy !req
1011. Petey.Copy !req
1012. What a nice surprise.Copy !req
1013. - You okay?
- Who, me?Copy !req
1014. Yeah.Copy !req
1015. You.Copy !req
1016. It's been a long time
since anyone's asked me that.Copy !req
1017. Now that you mention it...Copy !req
1018. No.Copy !req
1019. I'm not okay.Copy !req
1020. This was my favourite toy
from childhood.Copy !req
1021. It's supposed to play the drums,
but I think it's stuck.Copy !req
1022. Could you fix it for me?Copy !req
1023. It was your grandfather's,
you know.Copy !req
1024. He brought it home
from one of his trips.Copy !req
1025. He was a pilot.Copy !req
1026. He was a Petey too.Copy !req
1027. Did you know that?Copy !req
1028. - Hal never tells me anything.
- No, of course, he doesn't.Copy !req
1029. So this is it then, huh?Copy !req
1030. The thing that messed
everyone up?Copy !req
1031. How could it?Copy !req
1032. It's just a toy.Copy !req
1033. Why don't you try
turning it, hmm?Copy !req
1034. Probably just needs
a different touch.Copy !req
1035. There.Copy !req
1036. Turning the key
is just simply somethingCopy !req
1037. the Shelborn men have been doing
for generations.Copy !req
1038. It's a...
A tradition, if you will.Copy !req
1039. But if it's not for you,
then it's not for you.Copy !req
1040. What does it do?Copy !req
1041. Turn the key.Copy !req
1042. See what happens.Copy !req
1043. You want me to back up?Copy !req
1044. No! Don't fucking move.Copy !req
1045. Hey, okay. Okay.Copy !req
1046. Is it working?Copy !req
1047. Man, this stupid cop hat!Copy !req
1048. It's crazy itchy.Copy !req
1049. What?Copy !req
1050. Jesus fucking Christ!Copy !req
1051. Let's be careful
with that pistol, huh?Copy !req
1052. Yeah.Copy !req
1053. - Totally.
- Yeah. Right.Copy !req
1054. Fuck.Copy !req
1055. Uh...Copy !req
1056. Holy shit!Copy !req
1057. - Shit! Shit!
- Oh!Copy !req
1058. Jesus Christ! Fuck!Copy !req
1059. Fuck! Jesus!Copy !req
1060. FUCK!Copy !req
1061. Fuck!Copy !req
1062. What the fuck?Copy !req
1063. Fuck.Copy !req
1064. PETEY, WHERE ARE YOU?Copy !req
1065. - Dad!
- Petey!Copy !req
1066. Turn it again.Copy !req
1067. Turn the goddamn key right now!Copy !req
1068. What? No!Copy !req
1069. Then give me the fucking monkey!Copy !req
1070. That's it!Copy !req
1071. I'm not asking nicely anymore.Copy !req
1072. Do it. Kill him.Copy !req
1073. Kill my dumb shit brother,
and do it now!Copy !req
1074. God... damn you!Copy !req
1075. Strike the goddamn drum!Copy !req
1076. God-fucking...Copy !req
1077. I command you!Copy !req
1078. Fuck.Copy !req
1079. Godd... Will you, please?Copy !req
1080. Goddamn it!Copy !req
1081. Godd...Copy !req
1082. How are you so goddamn strong?Copy !req
1083. Hey!Copy !req
1084. Huh? Petey!Copy !req
1085. Oh, Jesus Christ!Copy !req
1086. Ah, thank God. Come on.Copy !req
1087. God... damn it!Copy !req
1088. What did I do wrong?Copy !req
1089. What is that?Copy !req
1090. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
1091. Ah! Godd...!Copy !req
1092. What the...Copy !req
1093. Bill.Copy !req
1094. Fuck. The drumstick's
still up, Petey.Copy !req
1095. Hello, dumb shit.Copy !req
1096. That's all you can say at a time
like this, you fucker?Copy !req
1097. Dumbshit's what you are.Copy !req
1098. Fuck... You fuck!Copy !req
1099. Jesus Christ, Bill.Copy !req
1100. You were really trying
to kill me, weren't you?Copy !req
1101. Of course I was.Copy !req
1102. That's what all this carnage
was for, huh?Copy !req
1103. You could've killed Petey!Copy !req
1104. You could've killed
my fucking son!Copy !req
1105. For what? Why?Copy !req
1106. 'Cause you killed my mum.Copy !req
1107. And I know you wanted
to kill me.Copy !req
1108. But the goddamn thing doesn't
take requests, obviously.Copy !req
1109. I've been turning the key
with you in mind for days.Copy !req
1110. Nothing.Copy !req
1111. Listen, Bill.Copy !req
1112. It's not my fault.Copy !req
1113. It wasn't anybody's fault.Copy !req
1114. None of us deserved
what happened to us.Copy !req
1115. We just happened to be
there when it did.Copy !req
1116. Mummy?Copy !req
1117. I'm sorry, Bill.Copy !req
1118. But I guess I gotta go now.Copy !req
1119. Everybody dies,
and that's life.Copy !req
1120. I'm sorry your mum died.Copy !req
1121. It fucking sucks.Copy !req
1122. I know how you feel.Copy !req
1123. She was my mum, too.Copy !req
1124. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1125. I guess she was.Copy !req
1126. Never thought about it
like that.Copy !req
1127. Innocent mistake,
I guess.Copy !req
1128. Sure.Copy !req
1129. Makes sense, though, you know.Copy !req
1130. We're brothers.Copy !req
1131. Twins.Copy !req
1132. Right.Copy !req
1133. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1134. I wish we could have been there
for each otherCopy !req
1135. when we were kids.Copy !req
1136. But we're here now.Copy !req
1137. What do you say, Bill?Copy !req
1138. Brothers again?Copy !req
1139. Sure.Copy !req
1140. Nah...Copy !req
1141. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1142. So what, you two are on some
kind of road trip or something?Copy !req
1143. Yeah.Copy !req
1144. A kind of...Copy !req
1145. father-son road trip, right?Copy !req
1146. Cool.Copy !req
1147. I would like to have done thatCopy !req
1148. with somebody at least once.Copy !req
1149. So come with us.Copy !req
1150. Jesus!Copy !req
1151. Fuck.Copy !req
1152. So Uncle Bill pretty muchCopy !req
1153. wiped out half the town
where you grew up, huh?Copy !req
1154. Yeah.Copy !req
1155. I mean,
I get that everybody dies,Copy !req
1156. and that's life, but...Copy !req
1157. it's just, like, everybody dies,Copy !req
1158. you know, at the same time.Copy !req
1159. So, uh...Copy !req
1160. what do you want to do now?Copy !req
1161. I guess we gotta figure out what
we're gonna do with the monkey.Copy !req
1162. We keep it close.Copy !req
1163. We accept that it's ours...Copy !req
1164. and we hold on tight.Copy !req
1165. Hey, I just got an idea
of what we should do right now.Copy !req
1166. Let's go dancing.Copy !req
1167. - Dancing?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1168. Like, with our bodies?Copy !req
1169. Where did that shit come from?Copy !req
1170. It comes from your grandmother.Copy !req
1171. From Lois.Copy !req
1172. Cool.Copy !req
1173. Yeah, it is cool.Copy !req
1174. Shit, man, that sucks.Copy !req