1. Well, stop her!Copy !req
2. This is my son.Copy !req
3. Most people thought he sold
vacuum cleaners door-to-door.Copy !req
4. But as you can see,
there was more to the story.Copy !req
5. Hey, where do you think
you're going, huh?Copy !req
6. Idiot!
Huh?Copy !req
7. This is a mistake.
That— that woman
is not Bo Derek!Copy !req
8. That was close.Copy !req
9. Too close.Copy !req
10. I demand to speak
to the American embassy! Ow!Copy !req
11. Fabbrizio,
it's time your son
is told of his destiny.Copy !req
12. This is no life
for my son.Copy !req
13. I will never tell him
of his true destiny.Copy !req
14. Destiny. Destiny.
Destiny. Destiny.Copy !req
15. Fabbrizio decided to
keep the family legacy...Copy !req
16. A secret from his son.Copy !req
17. The boy never knew
the truth about his urge
to disguise himself...Copy !req
18. With anything
he could find.Copy !req
19. Pistachio, I hope you're not
making faces in the mirror...Copy !req
20. With the underwear
on the head.Copy !req
21. That would be crazy, papa.Copy !req
22. Unless, of course,Copy !req
23. I had a shaving cream beard
to go along with it.Copy !req
24. This is my grandson pistachio.Copy !req
25. He has always been
a little, uh, different.Copy !req
26. Oh!Copy !req
27. From the very beginning,
he had impulses
he could not control.Copy !req
28. You slap me,
I slap you!Copy !req
29. As pistachio grew up,
he couldn't help mimicking
the people around him.Copy !req
30. Add the copper sulfate.Copy !req
31. Add the copper sulfate.Copy !req
32. Add just a little bit
of luminol.Copy !req
33. Add just a little bit
of luminol.Copy !req
34. But... he always had
a hard time fitting in.Copy !req
35. You think you got
muscles now?Copy !req
36. Try this.Copy !req
37. Okay.Copy !req
38. Why does he have
underwear on his head?Copy !req
39. What he didn't know
was that his true adventure...Copy !req
40. Was about to begin.Copy !req
41. There's a young lady
out here to see you.Copy !req
42. For me?
Aha!Copy !req
43. Fantastico!Copy !req
44. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
45. A young lady!Copy !req
46. Hey, amico!Copy !req
47. There's a girl
waiting for me!Copy !req
48. Hey, hey, mama, I'm—Copy !req
49. oh, oh, pistachio.Copy !req
50. Why don't you ask
your nice young lady friend
to come in,Copy !req
51. and I'll make you
corned beef ravioli?Copy !req
52. What a grand idea, mama!Copy !req
53. Oh, my Sonny-son,
handsome son.Copy !req
54. Go, go, go. Oh!Copy !req
55. Naturally, pistachio wanted to
find a girl just like mama.Copy !req
56. ah, Sophia.
What an unexpected
surprise, love cake.Copy !req
57. Love cake?Copy !req
58. I so enjoyed meeting you
last evening.Copy !req
59. Yeah, listen, pistachios,
I know we had some laughs
at the bar last night,Copy !req
60. yeah.
But you're
not my type.Copy !req
61. Besides,
I have a boyfriend,
so don't call me, okay?Copy !req
62. I gotta go.Copy !req
63. Yes.Copy !req
64. Something about her
reminds me of my mama.Copy !req
65. Oh, yes, she will be
a great cook!Copy !req
66. Eh, papa.Copy !req
67. Yes, I-I straighten.Copy !req
68. I straighten the menu.Copy !req
69. I'm okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
70. Oh. Excuse, young man.
I couldn't help but notice...Copy !req
71. That you became acquainted
with the sidewalk...Copy !req
72. A moment ago.Copy !req
73. I'm not a sports kid.Copy !req
74. Pistachio, why don't you do
one of your funny voices
and cheer the kid up?Copy !req
75. What an excellent idea,
Bernardo. Yes, yes.Copy !req
76. I do for you now
a scene from the hit
motion picture Shrek.Copy !req
77. You ready? Okay.
"Why don't you get away
from me, donkey?"Copy !req
78. "What you talking about,
get away from you?
I'm makin' waffles."Copy !req
79. Eh— eh—Copy !req
80. Oh, what a cute
little puppy.Copy !req
81. Oh, I see you
like my dog, yes.Copy !req
82. His name is the cuteness.Copy !req
83. I never had a dog.Copy !req
84. Well, perhaps your papa
will buy you a dog.Copy !req
85. I never had a dad.Copy !req
86. Papa deficient, yes.Copy !req
87. You can play with the cuteness
anytime you want.Copy !req
88. Allow me to introduce myself.Copy !req
89. My name
is pistachio disguisey.Copy !req
90. My name's Barney Baker.Copy !req
91. A pleasure, Barney Baker.Copy !req
92. And now hungry patrons.
Arrivederci!Copy !req
93. Buona sera, signore.Copy !req
94. Oh!Copy !req
95. Ya-ya-ya-ya.Copy !req
96. Hey, moron,
use a tray next time.
Those are too many plates.Copy !req
97. Ah, the new waiter, Rex.Copy !req
98. So cute
in your inexperience.Copy !req
99. Watch and learn,
my friend.Copy !req
100. Oh, yes, yes.
I— yes, I clean.
I clean.Copy !req
101. Good-bye, gooey sauce.Copy !req
102. Oh, yes.Copy !req
103. Cheese, yes.
I give you cheese.Copy !req
104. Yes, nice cheese.
Yes, cheese.Copy !req
105. You like, huh?
Oh, yes.Copy !req
106. Yes, I like, I like—
papa!Copy !req
107. And finally we have
fresh, bouncing baby shrimp.Copy !req
108. I'll just take
the spaghetti.Copy !req
109. And do me a favor, buddy.Copy !req
110. Get me some
man-sized meatballs.Copy !req
111. Meatballs. Meatballs.
Meatballs.Copy !req
112. Am I going
too fast for ya?Copy !req
113. Am I going too fast for ya?Copy !req
114. Huh?
Are you mocking my husband?Copy !req
115. Are you mocking my husband?
'Cause you better not be.Copy !req
116. 'Cause you better not be.Copy !req
117. Pistachio, stop it.
No mocking.Copy !req
118. Pistachio, stop it.
No mocking.
No, no, no.Copy !req
119. I don't know why you let
that little nut ballCopy !req
120. be a waiter
in the first place.Copy !req
121. Listen, you.
You have a problem
with my son,Copy !req
122. then you have
a problem with me.Copy !req
123. You are not welcome here.
You and you, get out!Copy !req
124. Pistachio,
what did I tell you?Copy !req
125. Yes, I know, papa.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
126. I couldn't help myself.
The mocking's getting worse.Copy !req
127. Nonsense.Copy !req
128. Sometimes there's
so many voices in my head,
I don't know who I am.Copy !req
129. Listen to me.
You are pistachio disguisey,
and you are a great waiter.Copy !req
130. Yes,
that is one of the voices,Copy !req
131. I'll give you that.
Not the loudest one, but—Copy !req
132. no, no, you are my son,
you understand?Copy !req
133. And I will always
be proud of you. Eh?Copy !req
134. We should've gone
to burger king.Copy !req
135. Perhaps my destiny
is somewhere far away.Copy !req
136. No, no, no, my son,
your destiny is here, okay?Copy !req
137. Yes, destiny is here.Copy !req
138. But, papa, don't preach.
I'm in trouble deep.Copy !req
139. And I'm keeping my baby.Copy !req
140. Eh, what?
What?Copy !req
141. Excuse, waiter Rex.
What are you doing with
your arm around the cake?Copy !req
142. And, the tush queen,
what are you doing out here
with the oversized Rex?Copy !req
143. Look, pistachios,
the silly voices,
the makin' faces,Copy !req
144. it was fun for, like,
one second, okay?Copy !req
145. Only one second?
I never wanted to
go out with you.Copy !req
146. I'm in love
with Rex, okay?
Yeah. Got it?Copy !req
147. I see.
I can take a hint.Copy !req
148. The message
is coming through
loud and c-clear.Copy !req
149. I gotta get back
to work, baby.Copy !req
150. Okay.
Good-bye, pistachios.Copy !req
151. Hey, get in the car, huh?Copy !req
152. Oh, my little cannoli.
You'll make my pistachio
very happy.Copy !req
153. Oh!Copy !req
154. Get in the car now!Copy !req
155. Get him in there!Copy !req
156. Ransacked!Copy !req
157. Hello, police?
In my home, it is
full of ransackery.Copy !req
158. Everything different.
Where do I—Copy !req
159. my name is pistachio.
And, oh, mama's cannoli
is here.Copy !req
160. Mama! Papa!Copy !req
161. Please, heavenly father,
show me a sign.Copy !req
162. I promise I will never
mock you again.Copy !req
163. My family is missing,
and I don't know what to do.Copy !req
164. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.Copy !req
165. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.Copy !req
166. Can I help you?
I came to help you,
pistachio.Copy !req
167. Help me what?
Find your mother
and your father, my son.Copy !req
168. My father, your son.Copy !req
169. Holy cannoli,
you are my sister!Copy !req
170. You don't have a sister,
you pea brain!Copy !req
171. I am your grandfather.
Yes, that was
my next choice.Copy !req
172. It's been 23 years.
How did you know
that I needed this help?Copy !req
173. That answer and more
will be revealed shortly.Copy !req
174. But for now,
let me in. I hunger!Copy !req
175. So, I come down
from the rooftop,Copy !req
176. and then I come home
and there's no mama,Copy !req
177. no papa,
just ransackery.Copy !req
178. Did you ask jeeves?
Yes, but no such luck.Copy !req
179. When you were on the roof,
did you hear something
that sounded like this?Copy !req
180. Yes, exactly that,Copy !req
181. but without the pain
on my face.Copy !req
182. We have a clue!Copy !req
183. Grandpapa?Copy !req
184. Oh. I'm sorry.
I'm looking
for my grandfather.Copy !req
185. Grandfather not here.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
186. It's me, you idiot!Copy !req
187. Amazing. You sound
just like grandfather.Copy !req
188. Fool! I am
your grandfather.Copy !req
189. What— what—
I don't— why—Copy !req
190. oh! Yes.Copy !req
191. Latex rubber.Copy !req
192. Yes, it's so soft.Copy !req
193. It like a soft,
fat baby-bottom face.Copy !req
194. This is nothing.
I'm rusty.Copy !req
195. When I'm on
the top of my game,
my disguise is seamless!Copy !req
196. Yes, yes,
without the seams.Copy !req
197. And the place
is so incredibly clean,Copy !req
198. so tidy.Copy !req
199. Bravo, grandpa.Copy !req
200. Put a clamp
on your pastry hole.Copy !req
201. I'm going to give it
to you straight.Copy !req
202. You are a disguisey.Copy !req
203. Yes, pistachio disguisey.
I'm begging you,Copy !req
204. curb your yammering
skull cave.Copy !req
205. Now, throughout history,Copy !req
206. the disguiseys
have used their skills
as masters of disguise...Copy !req
207. For the betterment
of mankind.Copy !req
208. In Europe, they used
their power to catch thieves.Copy !req
209. Now I've got it.
It's mine.Copy !req
210. The statue is alive!Copy !req
211. They were among the world's
first environmentalists.Copy !req
212. Sorry, George Washington.
No cherry tree for you.Copy !req
213. Abraham Lincoln
was such a boring speaker...Copy !req
214. That the disguiseys
had to help him
get elected president.Copy !req
215. If you'll excuse me,
I just need a drink of water.Copy !req
216. Rough crowd.
Whoo yeah!Copy !req
217. Let's party!
Hit it, boys!Copy !req
218. vote for me,
we'll get funky this year!Copy !req
219. well, this is
your legacy, pistachio.Copy !req
220. These are your people,
and you are one of them.Copy !req
221. But my papa
just runs a restaurant.Copy !req
222. Your father was once
the world's greatest
master of disguise.Copy !req
223. But my papa
just runs a restaurant.Copy !req
224. This is what you are doing.
This is what I want you to do.
Any questions?Copy !req
225. Your parents,
despite my objections,Copy !req
226. insisted on keeping
the legacy a secret.Copy !req
227. That is why
we have not spoken
in over 20 years.Copy !req
228. But my papa—
ah-ha.Copy !req
229. Ho.Copy !req
230. It is time for you
to find your father
and mother.Copy !req
231. You mean we.
We find my father
and my mother.Copy !req
232. Impossible. Sorry.
But why?Copy !req
233. This is the sacred book
of the disguisey way.Copy !req
234. Like a boy scout
handbook, right?Copy !req
235. You cannot compare this book
to anything else known to man.Copy !req
236. Hey, it's a pop-up.Copy !req
237. "If a father
and mother are missing,Copy !req
238. "only a son who has become
a master of disguise
can save them...Copy !req
239. "Without any direct help
from the grandfather."Copy !req
240. That's one
specific farmer.Copy !req
241. Now I must find
your father's nest.Copy !req
242. Uh, come again?
A nest?Copy !req
243. Yes, is there a place
your father goes to
to spend time by himself...Copy !req
244. That is dark,
that is secretive?Copy !req
245. The attic is dark
and secretive.Copy !req
246. Show me... this attic.Copy !req
247. So, grandpa,
this is the attic.
Yeah.Copy !req
248. Well, this is
a pretty ordinary attic.Copy !req
249. There's nothing
that a— oh!Copy !req
250. Yes? What?
What?Copy !req
251. What? What?Copy !req
252. A magic ball.
What—Copy !req
253. Behold your father's nest.Copy !req
254. Heavens to Betsy!
Yes.Copy !req
255. I knew he would keep one
just in case.
Just in case.Copy !req
256. Now I can
teach you to become
a master of disguise.Copy !req
257. Really? I-I'm going to
be a master of disguise?Copy !req
258. enough! Your mother and father
are in grave danger.Copy !req
259. Your training
begins... now!Copy !req
260. That is brilliant.
You are disguised as a fatty.Copy !req
261. What is happening? Ah!
I'm getting bigger!Copy !req
262. I got so fat.
Pistachio.
Pistachio!Copy !req
263. Oh!
Aah!Copy !req
264. Remember me?Copy !req
265. Devlin bowman?Copy !req
266. We both know
you were the woman
that night in palermo.Copy !req
267. And because of you,
I spent 20 years in prison.Copy !req
268. Thanks to a special potion
in the caramel corn,Copy !req
269. she thinks she's still
at home preparing dinner.Copy !req
270. But we know better,
don't we?Copy !req
271. Okay, okay, stop!Copy !req
272. you're right.
I was Bo Derek
that night in palermo.Copy !req
273. What do you want?
I want you to drop
your pizza apron,Copy !req
274. become a master of disguise
once again...Copy !req
275. And help me obtain
the world's rarest treasures.Copy !req
276. You're a sick man, bowman.Copy !req
277. Oh, yeah?
The teeth here.
Yes.Copy !req
278. Good.
Here and here.
Yes.Copy !req
279. That's a minimal
adhesive spillage.
That's not bad.Copy !req
280. Yes, good.
Now, now all I have to do
is disguise my voice, right?Copy !req
281. Open sesame!
Open sesame!Copy !req
282. Buffoon. Clown.
You look like
a cheap mimic.Copy !req
283. Anyone can
put on a disguise
or change his voice.Copy !req
284. Anybody? But you said
that was the secret power
of the disguiseys.Copy !req
285. Not exactly.
It's time for you
to learn...Copy !req
286. About the invisible
energy field...Copy !req
287. That bonds all disguiseys,
past and present.Copy !req
288. It is called
energico.Copy !req
289. Energico.Copy !req
290. When you learn
to tap into energico,Copy !req
291. you will be able to access
words, skills, ideas...Copy !req
292. That you never dreamed
were possible.Copy !req
293. You can think
like another person.Copy !req
294. You will be able to act
like another person.Copy !req
295. To feel like another person.
You will become...Copy !req
296. Another person.Copy !req
297. Become another person.Copy !req
298. Yes!
But first, you must
repeat the mantra.Copy !req
299. "Become another person."Copy !req
300. Become another person.
Nothing's happening.Copy !req
301. Again!
Become another person.Copy !req
302. Repeat!
Become another person.Copy !req
303. Become another person.
Become another person.Copy !req
304. Good.
Who are you now?Copy !req
305. The question is not
"who I am?"
The question is "who are you?"Copy !req
306. I know who I am.
I am prince lali jhamba...Copy !req
307. From the ringy dingy heights,
near Bombay, Calcutta...Copy !req
308. And new Delhi, India,
India, India, India.Copy !req
309. It is time to test that.Copy !req
310. What is it?Copy !req
311. Oh, yeah.
That is a big reptile.Copy !req
312. Not a problem.Copy !req
313. Oh, yes, he wouldn't hurt
anybody now.Copy !req
314. I'm going to
call him buttercup.Copy !req
315. Oh, so cute, eh?Copy !req
316. Tickle, tickle, tickle.Copy !req
317. Oh!Copy !req
318. Energico!
God help me,
I love it!Copy !req
319. Down, boy. Down, boy.Copy !req
320. A complete transformation.
Goochie-goochie-goo.Copy !req
321. Yeah, you like the cheese.
Go get the cheese, buttercup.Copy !req
322. You know you love it.
Oh!Copy !req
323. Now, pistachio,
sometimes during your travels,Copy !req
324. you may be required
to defend yourself.
Yes.Copy !req
325. Now the disguiseys
do not believe in hitting
with a closed fist.Copy !req
326. You must always hit
with an open hand.Copy !req
327. You make your point,
but you give the man
his dignity.Copy !req
328. Dignity.
Observe.Copy !req
329. Ah! Eh?Copy !req
330. Elbows in, extend.
Now you try it.Copy !req
331. Elbow in, extend.Copy !req
332. Okay, slapping dummy man.Copy !req
333. There!
Well, I think I've got—Copy !req
334. pistachio, no, no.
You must learn
to empty your mind...Copy !req
335. And allow energico
to flow through you.Copy !req
336. Yes, yes. Well,
is there a mantra
for the hitting part?Copy !req
337. No, but it is demoralizing
to your opponent...Copy !req
338. To repeat the phrase
"who's your daddy?"
In mid-slap.Copy !req
339. Okay.
Watch.Copy !req
340. Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?Copy !req
341. Hey, guys,
thanks for letting me
borrow the constitution.Copy !req
342. Are you kidding?
You're Michael Johnson,
the fastest man alive.Copy !req
343. Yeah, well.
You ready?Copy !req
344. Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson.Copy !req
345. Go!Copy !req
346. Thanks, guys!Copy !req
347. You should read this,
bowman.Copy !req
348. You might
learn something.Copy !req
349. I love having
a master of disguise
do my bidding.Copy !req
350. That's it!
Tut-tut-tut.
Have you forgotten something?Copy !req
351. My men are ready to pounce
on my command.Copy !req
352. No more.
Please! Stop!
All right. All right.Copy !req
353. Okay, so you want
to play games?
Let's play games.Copy !req
354. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
355. Who is your daddy?Copy !req
356. I'm your daddy.
I'm your daddy.Copy !req
357. I'm your daddy.
I'm your daddy.Copy !req
358. I'm your daddy.
I'm your daddy.Copy !req
359. I'm your daddy.
I'm your daddy.Copy !req
360. Hey, look it.
Huh?Copy !req
361. She could be
a good wife for you.Copy !req
362. Well, am I truly
a master of disguise now?Copy !req
363. Not exactly.Copy !req
364. You are a level-one
apprentice.Copy !req
365. White belt.
Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
366. A level one.
I like the sound of that.Copy !req
367. How many levels
are there?
Seven thousand.Copy !req
368. That's many
colored belts.Copy !req
369. Yes, you are a rookie.Copy !req
370. Listen. It is
a disguisey tradition...Copy !req
371. At this point in time
that we hire you an assistant.Copy !req
372. An assistant?
Yes, I'm going to
get an assistant.Copy !req
373. Well,
I was executive secretary
for Jensen and loeb.Copy !req
374. Get out!
I beg your pardon?Copy !req
375. Out now!Copy !req
376. Get out.Copy !req
377. What are you doing here?
History!Copy !req
378. Wrong! Take her away!
Get out!Copy !req
379. Idiot, get out!
Freak, get out!Copy !req
380. Leave! Get out!
Leave! Out! Out!Copy !req
381. Fifty applicants,
fifty losers.Copy !req
382. Yes.
Perhaps my destiny...Copy !req
383. Does not come
with an assistant.Copy !req
384. I'm okay.
I'm okay.Copy !req
385. You're too young for this job.
Do yourself a favor.Copy !req
386. Go home and tell your mommy
to change your diaper.
Get out!Copy !req
387. I don't wear a diaper.
Hey, pistachio,
you gotta see this.Copy !req
388. There's a talking baby here.
I want to see
the talking baby.Copy !req
389. Goochie-goochie-goo.
Brave Barney Baker,
good to see you again.Copy !req
390. You know this baby?
Yes, of course.Copy !req
391. I was potty-trained
when I was two.Copy !req
392. Of course.
You are the conductor
of the potty train.Copy !req
393. Barney,
is this the place?Copy !req
394. Hi. Oh, I'm sorry.
I just came from a yoga class.
I hope that's okay.Copy !req
395. Grandpa, this is Barney
and—Copy !req
396. oh, I'm his mom,
Jennifer. Hi.Copy !req
397. Jennifer.
A pleasure. Yes.
Um—Copy !req
398. sweetie, um,
go practice your ollies,
and I'll see you later, okay?Copy !req
399. Bye.
Please. Come in.Copy !req
400. Measurements.
Measurements? What for?Copy !req
401. It's for a uniform.
Oh, oh, yeah. Okay.Copy !req
402. It's 35-24-34.Copy !req
403. A little bottom.
You said 34?Copy !req
404. I don't know if I'm right
for this. Barney told me
that you were looking, so—Copy !req
405. I'm sorry. He's only seven.
He thinks your name
is pistachio.Copy !req
406. That is my name.
Oh. That's nice.Copy !req
407. Um, so okay, what is—
what is the job?Copy !req
408. What exactly
do you guys do?Copy !req
409. I'm a master of disguise.
He is also a master
of disguise.Copy !req
410. Yeah, well, technically,
he's a level-one apprentice.Copy !req
411. Excuse me? I'm sorry.
Master of disguise?
I don't get it.Copy !req
412. You got a problem
with the word "master"
or the word "disguise"?Copy !req
413. Or the word "of"?Copy !req
414. Well, what would
I have to do?Copy !req
415. What does
she have to do?
Eh, not so fast.Copy !req
416. Answer me this first.
Do you fold easily
under pressure?Copy !req
417. What kind of pressure
are you talking about?Copy !req
418. The kind that makes you
cry out in the night
like a little baby.Copy !req
419. Like a little baby
in its crib.Copy !req
420. What's it pay?
Pay? What about being
paid in honor, dignity, pride?Copy !req
421. Honor, dignity, pride.
In its crib.Copy !req
422. Actually, I need cash.Copy !req
423. Oh, this cat has claws.Copy !req
424. Me like it.
Me like it too.Copy !req
425. But this cat's
got no mama caboose.Copy !req
426. You guys know
I can hear you, right?Copy !req
427. God bless you.
It pays $417 a week,
plus delta dental.Copy !req
428. I'll take it.
It's yours. But hear me true.Copy !req
429. Assistants
commonly fall in love
with their disguisey masters.Copy !req
430. Can you resist pistachio?Copy !req
431. Yes, can you resist me?Copy !req
432. So, listen to me true,
pistachio.Copy !req
433. You are now
a level-1.5 apprentice.Copy !req
434. But, master,
without your guidance,Copy !req
435. how will I know
what to disguise myself as?Copy !req
436. You will have to listen to
your disguisey instincts.Copy !req
437. Answer these questions
for yourself:
Who? Why? Where?Copy !req
438. How would they take
your mother, the cuteness
and your father, my son?Copy !req
439. Yes, yes, yes.
Who, why, where and why.
No.Copy !req
440. Wrong!
Who, why, where and how.Copy !req
441. Oh, yes.
Who, why, what...Copy !req
442. And what and what
and what and what?Copy !req
443. Wrong!
Who, why, where, how!Copy !req
444. Yes, yes, yes.
Who, why, where, how.Copy !req
445. That's it. You got it!
Yes. Who, why, where, how.Copy !req
446. You, employee.Copy !req
447. My grandson is still raw.
He's unfocused.Copy !req
448. When he becomes
another person,
he may be unpredictable.Copy !req
449. About the dental.
When I get stuff done,
when Barney gets stuff done,Copy !req
450. do I pay it
and then you reimburse me,Copy !req
451. or do I bill
delta dental directly?Copy !req
452. I'm just not sure
how it works.Copy !req
453. You sicken me. Oh!Copy !req
454. I almost forgot.Copy !req
455. Here is your nest
in a box.Copy !req
456. Nest in a box?Copy !req
457. You may need it.
It comes with instructions.Copy !req
458. Oh, and there is
something else.Copy !req
459. The disguisey
ball of knowledge.Copy !req
460. When you are
in dire straits...Copy !req
461. And you don't know what to do,
this will come in handy.Copy !req
462. I won't let you down,
master.Copy !req
463. Ah, I hope not.Copy !req
464. This disguisey thing
sure comes with
a lot of accoutrements.Copy !req
465. So long, master!Copy !req
466. Bye-bye.
All right, now.Copy !req
467. Where to begin
our search?Copy !req
468. Well, I guess we could
look around at the spot
your father was taken.Copy !req
469. That's your idea?
That's it?
Yeah.Copy !req
470. To look around at the spot
where my father was taken?Copy !req
471. Oh, that's crazy.Copy !req
472. So crazy
it just might work.Copy !req
473. You know,
this could be something.Copy !req
474. Please, assistant,
don't play in the trash...Copy !req
475. While I am in full
father-finding mode, okay?Copy !req
476. All I'm saying
is I dated a guy
who used to smoke these.Copy !req
477. This is a handmade cigar
from the turtle club.
Look at the label.Copy !req
478. You want to play games?
I'll play games with you.Copy !req
479. There we go.Copy !req
480. All I'm saying is I dated
a guy who used to smoke these.Copy !req
481. This is a handmade cigar
from the turtle club.Copy !req
482. Eh, Jennifer,Copy !req
483. do you remember
that thing you once said...Copy !req
484. About the guy
you used to date
from the turtle club?Copy !req
485. Yeah?Copy !req
486. Yes. Well,
my disguisey instincts
are going crazy.Copy !req
487. Perhaps we should
pay a visit
to this turtle club.Copy !req
488. Well, it's impossible
to get in there though.
You have to be a member.Copy !req
489. You make me laugh sometimes.Copy !req
490. We will see
what is impossible,
my ever-doubtful assistant.Copy !req
491. Now, quickly,
to the nest!Copy !req
492. You know, I don't mean
to keep harping, but...Copy !req
493. The name "the turtle club,"
it's just a name.Copy !req
494. I think you're taking it
a little bit too literally.
Turtle.Copy !req
495. May I help you?
Are you a member
of the turtle club?Copy !req
496. Well, not exactly.
Not exactly.Copy !req
497. But am I not turtly enough
for the turtle club?Copy !req
498. Is he okay?
He's fine.Copy !req
499. He's fine. Turtle.Copy !req
500. He's dreamt of this place
ever since he was a child.
Turtle.Copy !req
501. Do you think we can
go in for a moment?Copy !req
502. We'll be out
in five minutes. Please?Copy !req
503. All right.Copy !req
504. Turtle!Copy !req
505. Turtle.
Not turtle?
It's okay. No.Copy !req
506. Turtle?
Not turtle.
No.Copy !req
507. Hi. Um, could you tell me,
do you recognize this?
Turtle!Copy !req
508. Shh!
I'd recognize
that label anywhere.Copy !req
509. I made that cigar
for the private collection
of devlin bowman.Copy !req
510. Oh, devlin bowman.
Tur... tle!Copy !req
511. Turtle. Turtle.
Turtle. Turtle. Turtle!Copy !req
512. Eee!
Um—Copy !req
513. is he okay?
Oh, he's fine.Copy !req
514. I'm fine. Turtle.
Do you think
you can give me...Copy !req
515. An address
or a phone number
for Mr. bowman?Copy !req
516. Are you crazy? I can't
give you that information.Copy !req
517. Oh, okay.
No information.Copy !req
518. Hmm. What if harm
found its way to you?Copy !req
519. Terrible, terrible
turtle harm.
Would that change your mind?Copy !req
520. Perhaps it's time to go
into my shell. Turtle.
No. No shell. No.Copy !req
521. Shell time coming.
Um, you know what?Copy !req
522. A name is just fine.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
523. Terrible harm.
The kind of harm
that makes you cry out...Copy !req
524. In the night
like a little baby.Copy !req
525. Hey, baby, can I, uh,
buy you a drink?Copy !req
526. And maybe some pond water
for your friend?Copy !req
527. Very funny.Copy !req
528. Turtle!
Where'd he go?Copy !req
529. Huh?Copy !req
530. I don't even really
know what to say...Copy !req
531. About what went on
back there.
I know.Copy !req
532. It was like a dream,
but real.Copy !req
533. I think I'm over my head.
Tomorrow we will find out just
who this devlin bowman is.Copy !req
534. The turtle thing and—
then we will find
the mama and the papa.Copy !req
535. Um.Copy !req
536. Look,
if I'm gonna work tomorrow,
I'm gonna need a lift,Copy !req
537. because my boyfriend
has my car.Copy !req
538. A boyfriend.
Yes, a boyfriend.Copy !req
539. It's getting late.
I'm gonna go in, okay?Copy !req
540. Okay. Good night,
my love cake.Copy !req
541. Love cake?
What?Copy !req
542. You said "love cake."
But why would I
call you "love cake"?Copy !req
543. Your hind quarters
are hideously scrawny.
What?Copy !req
544. What I—
what I was trying
to say is that, uh,Copy !req
545. I have a present
for Barney, yes.Copy !req
546. Will you give these
to him? From his dad.Copy !req
547. What?
Dad, dad, dad—Copy !req
548. that Italian guy, me.Copy !req
549. Oh, okay.
This is very sweet of you.
Knee pads.Copy !req
550. He could use these.
Oh, thank you.
Yes.Copy !req
551. Yes, yes.
Nighty night.
Good night.Copy !req
552. Sleepy time, she comes.Copy !req
553. Thanks for
the liberty bell, guys.
I'll bring it right back.Copy !req
554. Oh, and, uh, remember,
that's an action figure,
not a doll.Copy !req
555. Sure thing, governor ventura.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
556. Who would have thought
that governor Jesse venturaCopy !req
557. would be
the perfect disguise...Copy !req
558. To abscond
with the liberty bell?Copy !req
559. Me.Copy !req
560. My skills were meant
for the betterment of mankind,Copy !req
561. not for greed and evil.
Oh, please.Copy !req
562. You should see your hair.Copy !req
563. You've got
serious mask-head.Copy !req
564. Hey, pistachio.
I want you to meet
my boyfriend, Trent.Copy !req
565. Hey, there he is.Copy !req
566. Heard a lot
about you, "pisatche."Copy !req
567. Ow— are you?Copy !req
568. Oh, I forgot my purse.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
569. Lay off my lady, you freak.
My, you are
a touchy-feely guy, Trent.Copy !req
570. Saved by the uncoordinated
little brat. Hey, barn.Copy !req
571. Grind that curb,
buddy. Yeah!Copy !req
572. I'm okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
573. What a loser.
Thanks for the pads,
pistachio. They really help.Copy !req
574. You will learn with practice,
brave Barney Baker.
I'll keep trying.Copy !req
575. What kind of crap are
you putting in his head?
What, uh— eh, niceness?Copy !req
576. "Niceness"?
What are you, his dad?Copy !req
577. You are trying to horn in
on my action, aren't you?Copy !req
578. You are trying to horn in
on my action, aren't you?Copy !req
579. What?
What?Copy !req
580. Are you mocking me?
Are you mocking me?Copy !req
581. Oh, okay.
Okay-kay.Copy !req
582. But I warn you, Trent,
my slap practice dummy gets
quite a workout lately, okay?Copy !req
583. You want to fight?
See what awaits you, huh?Copy !req
584. First you watch the feet.
Oh, so fast. Look at them.Copy !req
585. Hands. Look at it.
Oh, too fast.Copy !req
586. Yes, yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
587. Yes, yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
588. Yes, yes, yes— hey!Copy !req
589. Hey, barn. Don't worry.
Just keep practicing and
you'll just be fine, okay?Copy !req
590. I'm ready.Copy !req
591. How come I can't
do it and you can?Copy !req
592. Baby, I'll see you
after work, okay? Bye.
Okay.Copy !req
593. Oh, he is so good
with children.Copy !req
594. I'm never gonna find
anything about this
devlin bowman guy.Copy !req
595. Oh, oh, oh! Listen.
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?Copy !req
596. A classmates.Com thing.Copy !req
597. What? This guy is crazy.
Did you hear this?
Who's your daddy?Copy !req
598. Ouch, ouch.
I can't believe he would
try something like this.Copy !req
599. Freaky, freaky guy.Copy !req
600. Yes, yes.
We now know
the who and the why.Copy !req
601. But where do we find a man
obsessed with such a rarity?
Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
602. Well, there's this
memorobilias fair that
I know about tomorrow...Copy !req
603. With rare toys
and stuff.Copy !req
604. Maybe bowman
will be there.Copy !req
605. So you think
that bowman would go...
He, he, he.Copy !req
606. To see these fair items?Copy !req
607. He—
that's crazy. So crazy...Copy !req
608. It just might work.Copy !req
609. Pistachio and Jennifer went
to the antique show...Copy !req
610. Hoping to find
this devlin bowman.Copy !req
611. My grandson decided
to disguise himself as a lady.
Appraise this!Copy !req
612. What are you doing?
That's the nest in a box.Copy !req
613. It appears to be
of tuscan design.Copy !req
614. I would say
early 12th century.
I knew it was old, you fool.Copy !req
615. Let me appraise you.
You're an idiot,
a complete and total idiot.Copy !req
616. How does it feel?
What is this,
12th-century tuscan?Copy !req
617. Nice.
I think that's him.Copy !req
618. That's bowman.
Oh, well.Copy !req
619. You're a tall drink of water.Copy !req
620. And I just love moisture.
What?Copy !req
621. Allow me
to introduce myself.Copy !req
622. My name is gammy,
gammy num num.Copy !req
623. Devlin bowman.
Don't be ashamed
of your feelings.Copy !req
624. Your desires are
perfectly normal,
I assure you.Copy !req
625. What desires?
Well, guess what,
backstreet boy.Copy !req
626. This is one girl scout
that isn't content...Copy !req
627. To be the Malcolm
in your middle.Copy !req
628. Run along, gammy, huh?
Run along.
Hmm. Touching me.Copy !req
629. Gammy, run along.
Pushing me.
There's pressure.Copy !req
630. Pressure moving me back,
touching.
All right, go. Go, go, go.Copy !req
631. What's your name?
Uh, I-I'm bar... bra.Copy !req
632. Hmm, nice to
meet you, barbsie.Copy !req
633. We're never
going to make babies.Copy !req
634. I'm having some
South American art dealers
to my house on Sunday.Copy !req
635. We don't want to go anywhere
with you, melon head.Copy !req
636. I'd love it if you joined us.
And I'd love it
if you'd shut up.Copy !req
637. No need to bring anything...Copy !req
638. Except that beautiful smile.Copy !req
639. Ciao.
"Ciao."
Did you hear that? Italian.Copy !req
640. Look out
for the Italian man.Copy !req
641. Fetch. Come on, fetch.Copy !req
642. I'm just not comfortable
with the new plan.Copy !req
643. It's very easy. Listen,
if you will distract
bowman at the party,Copy !req
644. I will disguise
myself as a—
no!Copy !req
645. I will disguise.
I am master of disguise.
No, no.Copy !req
646. I-I'm sorry.
What you sorry?Copy !req
647. In the job description,
it didn't say anything
about dating weird, old guys.Copy !req
648. Dating weird old guy.
What, yeah, what, uh, yes.Copy !req
649. What? Look.Copy !req
650. Look what the cuteness
found on page 52.Copy !req
651. The scary monsters say—Copy !req
652. Well, there you have it.Copy !req
653. Jennifer would sneak
into the mansion and look
for clues about mama and papa,Copy !req
654. while pistachio
would distract bowman.Copy !req
655. Gentlemen. Sorry
to keep you waiting.Copy !req
656. My dear,
I'm delighted you came.Copy !req
657. Excuse me, but where
is the ladies room?
Aw.Copy !req
658. In the main house,
down the hall,
first door on your left.Copy !req
659. Would you like me
to show you?
Oh, no, no, no. No, it's okay.Copy !req
660. Hurry back. Nice.
Okay.Copy !req
661. Lovely woman.Copy !req
662. Will you gentlemen
excuse me, please?Copy !req
663. Yeah, we're gonna
party all night long.
That's right.Copy !req
664. Having fun. Yes.
That's great. You have fun.
I've gotta speak to someone.Copy !req
665. Say hello
to my little friend.Copy !req
666. What is that?
Don't touch.Copy !req
667. See that, my friend?
That is a rare shrunken
head right there...Copy !req
668. Of a tribal chieftain
from the village
of constopolocolus.Copy !req
669. I'm telling you, Scooby doo
is computer generated.Copy !req
670. No way. He looked so real.Copy !req
671. I'm very interested in this,
but I have to check
on something first.Copy !req
672. Choking?
Heimlich maneuver.
Wait a minute!Copy !req
673. Not gonna choke.
Not gonna choke.
I'm not— I'm not— I'm not—Copy !req
674. not gonna choke.
Not gonna choke.
I'm not— I'm not choking!Copy !req
675. Are you choking
or not choking?
I gotta know.Copy !req
676. I'm not choking.
Not choking.
My mistake. That's important.Copy !req
677. He was not choking and I was
doing the heimlich maneuver.
That could be dangerous.Copy !req
678. I'm sorry.
That's my fault.Copy !req
679. When someone's not
choking, no maneuver!Copy !req
680. No maneuver!Copy !req
681. Robin, Ricky, Tim.
I'd better take these.Copy !req
682. Chicken satay?
And get a little stick
stuck in my esophagus?Copy !req
683. Not a chance.
What else you got?
Crab cakes.Copy !req
684. With your attitude,
they should be called
"crabby cakes."Copy !req
685. Okay.
Now I'm going to ask you.Copy !req
686. Have you got a little wiener
and some tiny nuts?
Sorry?Copy !req
687. You know, I could tell
just by looking at you.Copy !req
688. You had a little wiener
and some tiny nuts.Copy !req
689. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
690. Oh, hi. Hi.Copy !req
691. I-I was just looking
for the bathroom.
In the living room?Copy !req
692. Oh, well, you had lovely
furniture and I just thought—
shh, shh, shh, shh.Copy !req
693. I'll show you.Copy !req
694. After you freshen up,
why don't you join meCopy !req
695. on the terrace
for an aperitif?Copy !req
696. It's lovely
out there.
Oh.Copy !req
697. Oh, yeah.
Gotta dance.Copy !req
698. oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
699. Who is this guy?Copy !req
700. This idiot
is ruining my party.
Bring him to me.Copy !req
701. yeah, watch your back.
Here I go.Copy !req
702. Hey, did you see
a dark-haired guy run by here?Copy !req
703. Dark-haired guy
run by, chief?Copy !req
704. Dark-haired guy
go in the water.
Shark in the water.Copy !req
705. what are you talking about?Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. What?
I'm talking about
a great white, chief.Copy !req
708. Two ton of him. Twenty,
maybe twenty-five footer.Copy !req
709. There's no shark here.Copy !req
710. You're sure
about that, chief?Copy !req
711. Ever seen
a shark's eyes, chief?Copy !req
712. Kind of like doll's eyes,
all black and lifeless-like.Copy !req
713. Twenty-nine kids
go in the water.Copy !req
714. Twenty-two kids
come out of the water.Copy !req
715. The ice-cream man,
he take the rest.Copy !req
716. April the ninth,
half past 4:00 P.M.Copy !req
717. Wait, show me your arm.Copy !req
718. You wanna see my arm, chief?
That's my arm right there,
chiefy.Copy !req
719. Stop becoming another person.
Stop becoming another person.Copy !req
720. It is him.
Stop becoming another person.Copy !req
721. Stop becoming another person.
I run away from
the big blue henchies.Copy !req
722. Oh, man. I just
stepped on a cow pie.Copy !req
723. Forget about it, all right?
I told you he wasn't here.
Let's go back.Copy !req
724. Fresh air.Copy !req
725. I told you. There he is.Copy !req
726. oh, hello.Copy !req
727. My name's constable Mueller,
from the bavarian
tax authority.Copy !req
728. And I'm here looking
for a Ms. Jennifer Baker.Copy !req
729. She owes a substantial
amount of back taxes...Copy !req
730. From her time
as an exchange studentCopy !req
731. at the university
of heidelstrudel.Copy !req
732. I just need to ask her
a couple of questions,Copy !req
733. little questions.Copy !req
734. I'm not going to bite her.Copy !req
735. Could I just speak with her
for just one moment?Copy !req
736. I'm not going to bite.Copy !req
737. Hey, freak.
Yes?Copy !req
738. Don't move.
Oh.Copy !req
739. Wait right here.
Yes, of course.Copy !req
740. Wait right here.
Doesn't sound too promising.Copy !req
741. Maybe it's time
to go to plan "b."Copy !req
742. You need to relax.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
Oh, God, no.Copy !req
743. I just— I don't really
like being touched.Copy !req
744. Oh. Oh, you dropped
your purse.
Yeah, I— thank you.Copy !req
745. I-I got it.
I got it.
Okay.Copy !req
746. Let's see what's
in here, shall we?
Well, that's just—Copy !req
747. there's nothing inside.Copy !req
748. I had a little cold,
so there's some kind of
medicine for that.Copy !req
749. So it's just—
it's really gross in there.Copy !req
750. Why don't you come
with me, my dear?
All right.Copy !req
751. This way. Yes.Copy !req
752. Where did you come from?
Where's the other guy?Copy !req
753. Suave, Terry suave's the name.
London, Scotland yard,
that sort of thing.Copy !req
754. What do you want?
It's not what I want
that matters.Copy !req
755. It's what the British
government wants.Copy !req
756. And that's
a miss Jennifer Baker,
at her service.Copy !req
757. Mmm.Copy !req
758. In regards
to operation minty hippo.Copy !req
759. Minty hippo?
What is that?Copy !req
760. I could tell you,
but it'd be a real ding-dong,
dingy-dingy-ding-wad.Copy !req
761. Hut one, hut two.
I need a Charleston chew.Copy !req
762. Get it? Got it? Doubt it.
I think it's time
for you to go.Copy !req
763. And I think it's time
for you to put a squeeze
on your chatbox.Copy !req
764. What?
This is what you're doing.Copy !req
765. This is what I want you to do.
Any questions?Copy !req
766. Did you just
tell me to shut up?Copy !req
767. Yes.
You catch on straightaway.Copy !req
768. Ah, the muscle.
Yes, of course.
Familiar scenario.Copy !req
769. You want to get
physical, physical?Copy !req
770. Well, a sharp blow
to the "Dewey gumbel" would
get the festivities started.Copy !req
771. And finally,
a smack to the "didgy-dodge."Copy !req
772. Did someone yell, "timber"?
Oh, listen.Copy !req
773. It is okay.
I-I did receive a letter.Copy !req
774. She received a letter.Copy !req
775. Get it? Got it? Doubt it.Copy !req
776. Good day to you, sir.Copy !req
777. Follow them.Copy !req
778. I believe
that devlin bowman...Copy !req
779. Has forced my papa
to become a master
of disguise once more...Copy !req
780. In order to steal
rare treasures
from around the world.Copy !req
781. Yes. My disguisey
instincts tell me...Copy !req
782. That they are
in the mansion somewhere.Copy !req
783. My tight blue sweater!Copy !req
784. Sorry, Trent.
Trent?Copy !req
785. Who-who is this?
Hey, baby, we were just ha—Copy !req
786. Sophia, you here
now with Trent?
What are the odds?Copy !req
787. Shut up, clown.Copy !req
788. Leave him alone, you bully.
Don't worry, Jennifer.Copy !req
789. The slapping time,
she comes.Copy !req
790. Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.
Pistachio,Copy !req
791. it is demoralizing
to your opponent
to repeat the phrase,Copy !req
792. "who's your daddy?"Copy !req
793. Yes. Who's your daddy, Trent?Copy !req
794. Who's your daddy?Copy !req
795. Having fun now, Trent?Copy !req
796. How do you do?Copy !req
797. Yes.Copy !req
798. Oh, pistachio.Copy !req
799. Thank you for saving me
from that horrible person.Copy !req
800. Let's go, Jennifer.Copy !req
801. Hey, my little
waiter friend, pista—Copy !req
802. Thanks for letting me borrow
the Apollo lunar module
for my tour, you guys.Copy !req
803. No problem,
miss Simpson.Copy !req
804. Thanks for the cds.
I hope you like them.Copy !req
805. Jessica Simpson, whoa.Copy !req
806. You seem tired,
fabbrizio.Copy !req
807. Don't worry.
It's almost over.Copy !req
808. You're insane.Copy !req
809. Truly insane.
Am I?Copy !req
810. Oh.Copy !req
811. He's okay.
He's asleep with the cuteness.Copy !req
812. I wanna get something
off my chest.Copy !req
813. Today when-when
I-I saw you dressed up...Copy !req
814. Like that crazy, hairy guy,Copy !req
815. at that moment,
I really thought
you were this-this pathetic,Copy !req
816. insane, absurd,Copy !req
817. spastic little man.Copy !req
818. And now I believe...Copy !req
819. That you can do anything.Copy !req
820. That's very nice,
but not exactly true.Copy !req
821. I can't turn mud
into oatmeal, for example.Copy !req
822. I can't build a spaceship
that will travel to pluto.Copy !req
823. No, but you can
find a way...Copy !req
824. To rescue your mama
and your papa.Copy !req
825. Yes. Yes,
I believe now too.Copy !req
826. Your pep talk
has transformed me,
my tiny butter bottom—Copy !req
827. I mean, Jennifer.
You said
"tiny butter bottom."Copy !req
828. Did I, the future
mother of my babies—Copy !req
829. I mean, Jennifer.
You said "future
mother of my babies."Copy !req
830. Did I, fat cat mama
with a red dress on?Copy !req
831. I-I mean—
you said "fat cat—"Copy !req
832. I know. I don't know
why I said that.
It just was the emotion.Copy !req
833. You just— ah.Copy !req
834. My first kiss.Copy !req
835. I must apologize.
I was a little forward,Copy !req
836. but, uh, perhaps
you enjoyed a little bit.Copy !req
837. You know what time it is?Copy !req
838. No, I don't know.
I don't know what time it is.Copy !req
839. Time to make a plan.Copy !req
840. Ah, yes.
Yes, yes.Copy !req
841. Yes. Back to business.
The planning time,
she comes.Copy !req
842. Okay. Oh, oh.
You don't—
oh, all right.Copy !req
843. Is okay. Is okay.
Nice. Yes. Fresh too.Copy !req
844. Good night.
Good night.Copy !req
845. Night now.Copy !req
846. The cuteness was on guard.Copy !req
847. But of course
he would be no match
against bowman's henchmen,Copy !req
848. who had orders
to kidnap Jennifer.Copy !req
849. Time was running out
for fabbrizio...Copy !req
850. As bowman put
the final touches
on his evil scheme.Copy !req
851. Grandfather, please,
I need your help.Copy !req
852. I am out of ideas.Copy !req
853. Grandfather,
you are big floating head.Copy !req
854. I'm a prerecorded hologram.
What is your question?Copy !req
855. I feared I have not
mustered enough energico
to overcome our enemies.Copy !req
856. Pistachio, I was
hoping you'd be here.Copy !req
857. What are you doing here?Copy !req
858. My mom's missing.
But I found this.Copy !req
859. Bowman's cigar.Copy !req
860. Is my mom okay?Copy !req
861. She's probably just
out buying cigars right now.Copy !req
862. We have work to do here.Copy !req
863. Yes, brave Barney Baker.Copy !req
864. I need a disguise to get
into the bowman mansion.Copy !req
865. How about if you dress—
silence!Copy !req
866. Grandpa, why don't
we give him a chance?Copy !req
867. Sometimes out
of the mouth of babies—Copy !req
868. all right, but quietly.Copy !req
869. You never know
who might be listening.Copy !req
870. That's crazy, so crazy—Copy !req
871. it just might work.Copy !req
872. Feast your eyes.
Some of the world's
greatest treasures.Copy !req
873. Like the liberty bell.
There's Mona Lisa.Copy !req
874. Ah, the Ruby slippers.
A Betsy Ross original.Copy !req
875. How about that David?
Oh, we got Bruce Willis'
hairpiece from die hard ii.Copy !req
876. Oh, wow!
One of my prized possessions,
the Apollo 11 lunar module.Copy !req
877. Yep, one small step for man.Copy !req
878. We at black mark ebay
have a policy of not asking
how items are obtained,Copy !req
879. but in your case,
I am curious.Copy !req
880. Italy's own
fabbrizio disguisey.Copy !req
881. Okay, okay. So it is
the master of disguise.Copy !req
882. Wanna see him?Copy !req
883. Okay, so you're
gonna auction him off?Copy !req
884. Too easy.Copy !req
885. It's you.
Right.Copy !req
886. I'm going to krazy glue this
to fabbrizio's head.Copy !req
887. Then tomorrow, I'm going
to push him over a cliff.Copy !req
888. Everyone will think
I'm dead.Copy !req
889. It's called the perfect crime.
Ever heard of it?Copy !req
890. Let me show you
the rest of the items.Copy !req
891. Mr. bowman,
no cherry pie?Copy !req
892. Later, Palmer.
Come on.Copy !req
893. I don't even know
where this cherry pie
came from. Go figure.Copy !req
894. Oh, these cherries
are so ticklish...Copy !req
895. And slippery.Copy !req
896. Cuteness, this is dangerous.
Go home.Copy !req
897. It's cherry pie man.
Get him!
Hey!Copy !req
898. Jennifer
was forced to become the
black mark ebay spokes model,Copy !req
899. as our nation's treasures
were being auctioned off.Copy !req
900. Famous "we the people"--Copy !req
901. yo, Doug. Check this out.Copy !req
902. Did it ever occur to you,
that this cherry pie thing
was fabbrizio's son?Copy !req
903. No matter.Copy !req
904. Oh, by the way, Steve,
your wife called.Copy !req
905. Oh, that's great.
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
906. Sure.Copy !req
907. You're not married!Copy !req
908. Pistachio?Copy !req
909. Now we got you.Copy !req
910. How did you know it was me?Copy !req
911. Who's your daddy?Copy !req
912. now this little dude
is slapping these ninja guys
senseless.Copy !req
913. yes. Jennifer,
I set you free.Copy !req
914. That's my belt!Copy !req
915. Wait, wait, ninjas.
Run away. Run away.Copy !req
916. anyone who stays gets a raise.Copy !req
917. No way. He slap us silly.Copy !req
918. You may wanna see this.Copy !req
919. mama, look out.Copy !req
920. No more caramel corn for me.Copy !req
921. Ah.Copy !req
922. Pistachio.
Grandpapa.Copy !req
923. I wanted to be here
to witness your first
disguisey victory.Copy !req
924. Hey, disguiseys,
it's not over yet.Copy !req
925. First, you will see
who is your daddy.Copy !req
926. I was going
to throw him off a cliff.Copy !req
927. Instead, I think
I'll have him kill you.Copy !req
928. Papa, papa.Copy !req
929. I'm not your papa.Copy !req
930. In his weakened state,
he must have been pulled over
to the dark side of energico.Copy !req
931. There's a dark side,
exactly like star wars?Copy !req
932. I am devlin bowman.Copy !req
933. No, papa,
you-you are not bowman.Copy !req
934. Take off your mask
and let's all go
grab a bite to eat...Copy !req
935. At the olive garden.Copy !req
936. I am devlin bowman.Copy !req
937. I have a secret,
underground lair...Copy !req
938. Filled with rare objects.Copy !req
939. Because of you disguiseys,Copy !req
940. I spent 20 years
in the palermo
state penitentiary.Copy !req
941. I hate you.Copy !req
942. Papa.Copy !req
943. Pistachio!
No, no, no.Copy !req
944. This is between
father and son.Copy !req
945. I am not your papa.Copy !req
946. Pistachio, be careful!Copy !req
947. You are. You are my papa.Copy !req
948. No. I am not.
I swear, you are.Copy !req
949. Good-bye, peanut.
No, papa bowman, no.Copy !req
950. Use the energico, pistachio.Copy !req
951. Yes.Copy !req
952. But papa bowman, please.
Don't you remember?Copy !req
953. I would put
the underwear on my head
and you would take it off.Copy !req
954. Oh, those were the days.
Right?Copy !req
955. What are you talking about?Copy !req
956. Underwear coming.
Stuck in butt crack.Copy !req
957. Yes. Yes.
His underwear on his head.Copy !req
958. Just like when
he was a little boy.Copy !req
959. Take those underwear
off your head.Copy !req
960. Take that mask off your face.Copy !req
961. Papa.Copy !req
962. Mustache, papa.
Yes. Good.Copy !req
963. Oh, the nose. Yes.Copy !req
964. Take the eye. Another.Copy !req
965. Oh, yes. Papa!
Papa, yes.Copy !req
966. My son.Copy !req
967. It's fabbrizio.Copy !req
968. Pull him up.Copy !req
969. Papa.Copy !req
970. The disguisey tradition.Copy !req
971. Papa free.Copy !req
972. So we freed mama,Copy !req
973. Jennifer became Mrs. disguisey
and Barney got a papa.Copy !req
974. Finally, pistachio became
a master of disguise.Copy !req
975. But there was
one thing left to do.Copy !req
976. We had to get the constitution
back from bowman.Copy !req
977. Hola, senor.Copy !req
978. Mmm.Copy !req
979. Hola, muchachita.Copy !req
980. Can I get you anything?Copy !req
981. Well, what do you get
a man who has everything?Copy !req
982. I can't believe it.
It's president bush.Copy !req
983. Mr. president?Copy !req
984. Folks around here
call me "w."Copy !req
985. But you can
call me king George.Copy !req
986. That was a joke, son.Copy !req
987. Would you mind
if we had
a picture together?Copy !req
988. Now, take your time.
Now I'm ready.
Yes, sir.Copy !req
989. Just say,
"who's your daddy?"
It's an honor.Copy !req
990. Sir?
This is what you're doing.Copy !req
991. This is what I want you to do.
Any questions?Copy !req
992. It's you!Copy !req
993. Yes. Yes. It is me,
the master of disguise.Copy !req
994. Get him.
You're surrounded
by disguiseys.Copy !req
995. I think I stepped in
a cow pie.Copy !req
996. Forget about it.Copy !req
997. Bring on the heat.Copy !req
998. Came to get
the constitution back.Copy !req
999. Oh, yeah.
And this one's
for you, chiefy.Copy !req
1000. Is he dead?Copy !req
1001. Bowman, he make the stinky.Copy !req
1002. Who's—
your—Copy !req
1003. daddy?Copy !req
1004. say hello.
And to my little friend, eh?Copy !req
1005. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1006. By the authority vested in me
by the disguisey tradition,Copy !req
1007. page 73 of the pop-up book,Copy !req
1008. I hereby pronounce you
wife, son and...Copy !req
1009. Master of disguise.Copy !req
1010. Bravo, my son. Bravo.Copy !req
1011. once, I shot an elephant
in my pajamas.Copy !req
1012. How he got in my pajamas,
I'll never know.Copy !req
1013. I'd like to spin you
on your spinely-spobbly-
spibbly-spibbly.Copy !req
1014. Oh, baby gonna cry?
His mommy called?Copy !req
1015. And, cut.Copy !req
1016. Oh, run, Jennifer, run!Copy !req
1017. Pistachio, oh!Copy !req
1018. And, action.Copy !req
1019. I like the juice.
You like the juice?Copy !req
1020. Sometimes that master
of disguise go away.Copy !req
1021. Sometimes
he don't go away.Copy !req
1022. Now, uh,
the master of disguise,Copy !req
1023. can he change into, say,Copy !req
1024. uh, Barbra Streisand?Copy !req
1025. Of course.Copy !req
1026. Britney Spears?Copy !req
1027. You're a sick man.Copy !req
1028. The Olsen twins?Copy !req
1029. Make a nice, cool
river mustache there...Copy !req
1030. On the big, bald,
mean guy's face.Copy !req
1031. Ooh. That's refreshing.Copy !req
1032. Hold. Hold. Hold.Copy !req
1033. Unleash hell.Copy !req
1034. I never knew
if I'd see Jenny again.Copy !req
1035. Yes, I've seen
your type before.Copy !req
1036. What are you doing?
Yes, I'm gammy num nums and
take a gammy of my nummynum.Copy !req
1037. We don't wanna go anywhere
with you, melon head.Copy !req
1038. What? You filthy thief.Copy !req
1039. Take that,
and that and that.Copy !req
1040. Buttercup says
you are a bad man.Copy !req
1041. I'm not the dummy.
He's the dummy.Copy !req
1042. Can you believe
how stiff he is?Copy !req
1043. And I'm the one
made of wood.Copy !req
1044. I don't want
any "trou-bubbles."Copy !req
1045. Have you got
a little wiener
and some— wait.Copy !req
1046. Get the bee out
of there. I'm not
gonna play games.Copy !req
1047. Have you got
a little wiener
and some little—Copy !req
1048. get out of here.
I got a little bee.Copy !req
1049. There's no wiener
and there's just a bee.Copy !req
1050. I still have the greatest
anti-disguisey weapon of all.Copy !req
1051. There's a dark side
exactly like star wars?Copy !req
1052. What's going on?Copy !req
1053. Pistachio's in grave danger.Copy !req
1054. Pistachio, come back.Copy !req
1055. Uh, but—Copy !req
1056. No!Copy !req
1057. Yes, I see now.Copy !req
1058. Love is thicker
than your behinds.Copy !req
1059. Look what daddy
made for you,
a little sweater.Copy !req
1060. I knitted last
night for you,
little buttercup.Copy !req
1061. My name is
gluteus Maximus.Copy !req
1062. Are you not
entertained?Copy !req
1063. Why are your arms
around the tush queen?Copy !req
1064. Wait, I screwed it up.
She's the cake.Copy !req
1065. You're the queen.
Whatever. All right.
Here we go.Copy !req
1066. And remember,
humpty dumpty
sat on the wall.Copy !req
1067. No one really had a clue
what he was doing up there
in the first place.Copy !req
1068. now show me some toys.
Toys, yes, of course.
Toys. Here.Copy !req
1069. How about this?
This is the world's
first giant yo-yo.Copy !req
1070. Oh, whoopsie-cadabra.
It looks more like a no-yo.Copy !req
1071. hello?Copy !req
1072. What?Copy !req
1073. Hello?Copy !req
1074. What?Copy !req
1075. Who? Who are you?Copy !req
1076. What— what were you doing
in the slapping dummy?Copy !req
1077. Slap!Copy !req
1078. Come back here,
slapping dummy man.
It was you all along.Copy !req
1079. All the time.
You were the one, huh?Copy !req
1080. I going to get you.
I'm going to get you.Copy !req
1081. Now, all right.
All right. Let's not fight.Copy !req
1082. I just want to talk, okay?Copy !req
1083. Now, listen.
I just want to talk to you.Copy !req
1084. I slap you.Copy !req
1085. Come back here.Copy !req
1086. Come back here,
slapping dummy man.Copy !req
1087. Please.Copy !req
1088. I'll get you, pistachio.Copy !req
1089. Please, slapping dummy man.Copy !req
1090. I'll get you, pistachio.Copy !req
1091. I didn't mean it,
slapping dummy man.Copy !req
1092. I'll get you, pistachio.Copy !req
1093. I did not mean it,
slapping dummy man.Copy !req
1094. I'll get you, pistachio.Copy !req
1095. So we find the nest,
which was amazing.Copy !req
1096. And then we started training.
And then we go to—
to the slapping dummy.Copy !req
1097. No offense,
but you gave me quite
a workout a couple times.Copy !req
1098. I'm telling, you must
really love to slap.Copy !req
1099. I love to slap.
Yes, you love to slap. Yes.Copy !req
1100. What you people
still doing here?Copy !req
1101. You just saw the movie, okay?
I'm trying to talk, all right?Copy !req
1102. Good-bye.
All right. So, anyway—Copy !req
1103. pistachio, I'm sad.Copy !req
1104. What is the matter?Copy !req
1105. I want to say good-bye.Copy !req
1106. All right.
We fade up.Copy !req
1107. Good-bye.
Good-bye.Copy !req
1108. no more dog food.Copy !req