1. I've come back.Copy !req
2. Give me a drink, brother Kipling.Copy !req
3. Don't you know me?Copy !req
4. No.Copy !req
5. I don't know you.Copy !req
6. Who are you?Copy !req
7. What can I do for you?Copy !req
8. I told you, give me a drink.Copy !req
9. It was all settled...Copy !req
10. right here in this office.Copy !req
11. Remember?Copy !req
12. Danny and me signed the contract...Copy !req
13. and you witnessed it.Copy !req
14. You...Copy !req
15. stood over there.Copy !req
16. I stood there.Copy !req
17. And Daniel stood here.Copy !req
18. Remember?Copy !req
19. Carnehan.Copy !req
20. Peachy Taliaferro Carnehan.Copy !req
21. Of course.Copy !req
22. Keep looking at me.Copy !req
23. It helps to keep my soul from flying off.Copy !req
24. Carnehan.Copy !req
25. The same...Copy !req
26. and not the same who sat beside you
in the first-class carriage...Copy !req
27. on the train to Marwar Junction...Copy !req
28. three summers
and a thousand years ago.Copy !req
29. Jodhpur, please.Copy !req
30. Blast.Copy !req
31. May I?Copy !req
32. Riding in this bloody ash cart...Copy !req
33. is like getting kicked in the rear
by a battery mule every ten minutes.Copy !req
34. Mr. Clutterbury Das...Copy !req
35. failed entrance examination,
Calcutta University, 1863.Copy !req
36. Writer of correspondence
for the illiterate general public.Copy !req
37. Shut up.Copy !req
38. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
39. Out the window, babu.Copy !req
40. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
41. Outside, you inky-fingered thief.Copy !req
42. - And I hope you break your dirty neck.
Thank you. Sir.Copy !req
43. Good God, man.
you might have killed the chap.Copy !req
44. Serves him right if I had.Copy !req
45. But we're not making
five miles an hour on this grade.Copy !req
46. But why?Copy !req
47. I caught him stealing your watch.Copy !req
48. My watch?Copy !req
49. I say, it is my watch.Copy !req
50. Well.Copy !req
51. I'm very much obliged to you, Mr...?Copy !req
52. Carnehan. Former gunnery sergeant
in Her Majesty's Forces.Copy !req
53. Mine's Kipling.Copy !req
54. - May I offer you a drink?
- I don't mind if I do.Copy !req
55. You've knocked about India a bit,
I take it?Copy !req
56. You can say that twice.
On foot, on horseback and on camel.Copy !req
57. But you don't look
too green yourself, either.Copy !req
58. No, I was born in India.Copy !req
59. Great country, or was till the bureaucrats
took over and ruined everything.Copy !req
60. - I hope you're not one of them.
- No, I'm not a bureaucrat.Copy !req
61. No, I didn't think so.Copy !req
62. They're usually narrow-chested chaps
with long noses for looking down at you...Copy !req
63. and I've yet to have one of them
offer me a drink.Copy !req
64. Glenlivet, 12 years old.Copy !req
65. You've an educated taste in whiskey.Copy !req
66. I've an educated taste
in whiskey and women...Copy !req
67. waistcoats and bills of fare...Copy !req
68. but I've had few chances
to exercise it lately.Copy !req
69. Because them that governs spend
all their time making up new laws...Copy !req
70. to stop men like you and me
from getting anywhere.Copy !req
71. And who's loss is it?
Why England's, of course.Copy !req
72. If such as we were given our heads,
it wouldn't be 70 millions...Copy !req
73. she'd be making in revenues,
it'd be 700 millions. Right?Copy !req
74. Yes, I quite agree. Yes.Copy !req
75. - Where are you heading for?
- Jodhpur.Copy !req
76. Will you be travelling back
along this line?Copy !req
77. - In about ten days time.
- Could you make it eight?Copy !req
78. I must get a message to a man who'll
be travelling through Marwar Junction...Copy !req
79. on the Bombay Mail
on the night of the 24th.Copy !req
80. He expects me to meet him, but I can't.Copy !req
81. - I've got urgent business in the south.
- I'm sorry, I can't help you there.Copy !req
82. Supposing I was to ask you...Copy !req
83. as a stranger going to the west...Copy !req
84. to seek for that which was lost.Copy !req
85. What would you say then?Copy !req
86. I should answer,
"Where do you come from?"Copy !req
87. From the east, and I am hoping
that you will give my message...Copy !req
88. on the square for the sake
of the widow's son.Copy !req
89. Which lodge do you hail from?Copy !req
90. Travelling Lodge 3276,
the Fore and Fit.Copy !req
91. The Queen's Own Royal Loyal
Light Infantry, Regimental District 329A.Copy !req
92. - To whom shall I deliver the message?
- Daniel Dravot.Copy !req
93. - Dravot?
- Yes.Copy !req
94. A big man with long gray sideboards.
A great swell he is.Copy !req
95. You'll find him surrounded by
his luggage in a first-class compartment.Copy !req
96. But don't you be afraid,
just slip the window down and say:Copy !req
97. "Peachy's gone south for the week. "Copy !req
98. Peachy's gone south for the week.Copy !req
99. Yes, and he'll tumble.Copy !req
100. Well, I'll be getting off now
before we reach the station.Copy !req
101. By the way, brother Carnehan...Copy !req
102. I missed my watch
in the station at Lahore...Copy !req
103. before boarding the train.Copy !req
104. How was I to know you were a Mason?Copy !req
105. Oh!Copy !req
106. What's this?Copy !req
107. God's holy trousers, tickets again?Copy !req
108. Is your name Dravot, sir?Copy !req
109. Hm?Copy !req
110. I'm to say that Peachy
has gone south for the week.Copy !req
111. He's gone south for the week.Copy !req
112. Did he say I was to give you anything
for telling me this? Because I won't.Copy !req
113. - No, he didn't.
- Then why did you do it?Copy !req
114. For the sake of the widow's son.Copy !req
115. Oh.
- Heh. heh, heh.Copy !req
116. - He said south. Did he?
- Yes.Copy !req
117. Then that'll be Degumber.Copy !req
118. Since you're a pal of Peachy's,
I don't mind telling you.Copy !req
119. We're going to put the screw on the rajah
for what he did to his mother-in-law.Copy !req
120. Filled her with red peppers. Hung her
over a beam and flogged her to death.Copy !req
121. You mean to say that you intend
to blackmail him?Copy !req
122. Man, you wouldn't get out
of Degumber alive.Copy !req
123. If they don't cut your throats,
they'll certainly poison you.Copy !req
124. Both's been tried more than once,
but Peachy and me, we don't kill easy.Copy !req
125. But the rajah's an independent ruler,
he answers to nobody. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
126. How do you hope to put
the screw on him?Copy !req
127. By telling him we're correspondents
for The Northern Star.Copy !req
128. You can't. You can't do that.
You can't do that.Copy !req
129. Because I am the correspondent
of The Northern Star!Copy !req
130. You what?Copy !req
131. I'm the correspondent
of The Northern Star!Copy !req
132. Eh? What did you say, brother?Copy !req
133. As you know, Kipling,
we took them at the Degumber Border...Copy !req
134. so there's a question
of jurisdiction involved.Copy !req
135. But a charge of conspiracy to blackmail
might be brought.Copy !req
136. I didn't lay this information
before you as a criminal prosecution, sir...Copy !req
137. only to save their lives.Copy !req
138. Then may I ask what particular interest
you have in these scoundrels?Copy !req
139. Well, they... They happen to be...Copy !req
140. Freemasons, like myself.Copy !req
141. Freemasons?Copy !req
142. Those chaps? I should think
you'd strike them off your roll.Copy !req
143. Once a Mason. Always a Mason.Copy !req
144. Never could understand
how perfectly pukka chaps, like yourself...Copy !req
145. can go about on public occasions
wearing aprons and sashes...Copy !req
146. shaking hands with total strangers.Copy !req
147. Just what is Masonry, Kipling?Copy !req
148. It's an ancient order
dedicated to the brotherhood of man...Copy !req
149. under the all-seeing eye of God.Copy !req
150. We should've done well to have left
that sort of thing behind us in England.Copy !req
151. It can never work here.Copy !req
152. There are tales that it did work here
before we ever came.Copy !req
153. Some audacious scholars can even trace it
back to the builders of Solomon's Temple.Copy !req
154. Hm. Old wives' tales, I suspect.Copy !req
155. Yes, in all likelihood, sir.Copy !req
156. Well, let's have a look
at your lodge brothers.Copy !req
157. Right turn.Copy !req
158. Halt.Copy !req
159. Hats off.Copy !req
160. You men are not under arrest...Copy !req
161. thanks to Mr. Kipling here, who happens
to be a genuine correspondent...Copy !req
162. for The Northern Star.Copy !req
163. But both of you richly deserve
to be in jail.Copy !req
164. I have your records before me.Copy !req
165. There's everything in them...Copy !req
166. from smuggling to swindling
to receiving stolen goods...Copy !req
167. to bare-faced blackmail.Copy !req
168. Sir. I resent the accusation of blackmail.Copy !req
169. It is blackmail to obtain money by threats
of publishing information in a newspaper.Copy !req
170. But what blackmail is there
in accepting a small retainer...Copy !req
171. for keeping it out of a newspaper?Copy !req
172. And how did you propose to keep it out?Copy !req
173. By telling the editor
what I know about his sister...Copy !req
174. and a certain government official
in these parts.Copy !req
175. Let him put that in his paper
if he has need of news.Copy !req
176. It would have been wiser if you had
gone home at the end of your army service.Copy !req
177. Home to what?Copy !req
178. A porter's uniform outside a restaurant and
tanner tips from belching civilians...Copy !req
179. for closing doors
on them and their blowzy women?Copy !req
180. Not after watching Afghans
come howling down out of the hills...Copy !req
181. and taking battlefield command
when the officers had copped it.Copy !req
182. Well said, brother Dravot.Copy !req
183. There may be no criminal charges
against you...Copy !req
184. but I'll see these files reach Calcutta...Copy !req
185. with the recommendation that
you be deported as political undesirables.Copy !req
186. Detriments to the dignity of the Empire
and the izzat of the Raj.Copy !req
187. Detriments you call us? Detriments?Copy !req
188. I want to remind you
it was detriments like us...Copy !req
189. that built this bloody Empire
and the izzat of the bloody Raj.Copy !req
190. Hats on.Copy !req
191. About turn.Copy !req
192. By the left, quick march.Copy !req
193. Left...Copy !req
194. turn.Copy !req
195. There's no need to let any of this
get into the Star...Copy !req
196. - ... I take it, Kipling?
- Huh?Copy !req
197. No, no.Copy !req
198. Copy.Copy !req
199. My God. You two.Copy !req
200. What do you want this time?Copy !req
201. We want to ask you a favor.Copy !req
202. Another favor?Copy !req
203. Calm yourself, brother Kipling...Copy !req
204. we've never taken advantage
of a fellow in the craft.Copy !req
205. We don't want money,
just a little of your time...Copy !req
206. a look at a book or two,
study of your maps.Copy !req
207. We'll take a drink if one's being offered,
but we won't be put out if one isn't.Copy !req
208. Peachy here is as sober as I am.Copy !req
209. It's important you have no doubts
on that score.Copy !req
210. So we'll take one of your cigars apiece...Copy !req
211. and you shall watch us light up.Copy !req
212. And now, sir, let me introduce you
to brother Peachy Carnehan, which is him.Copy !req
213. And brother Daniel Dravot, which is I.Copy !req
214. The less said about our professions.
the better...Copy !req
215. for we have been
most things in our time.Copy !req
216. We've been all over India...Copy !req
217. we know her cities, her jungles,
her jails and her passes...Copy !req
218. and we have decided that
she isn't big enough for such as we.Copy !req
219. That's what I understood
the commissioner to say.Copy !req
220. Therefore, we are going away
to another place...Copy !req
221. where a man isn't crowded
and can come into his own.Copy !req
222. We're not little men.Copy !req
223. So we're going away to be kings.Copy !req
224. Kings of Kafiristan.Copy !req
225. Oh. Kafiristan?Copy !req
226. We hear they have
two and 30 idols there.Copy !req
227. So we'll be the 33rd and 34th.Copy !req
228. It's a place of warring tribes,
which is to say...Copy !req
229. a land of opportunity for such as we...Copy !req
230. who know how to train men
and lead them into battle.Copy !req
231. We'll go there.
We'll say to any chief we can find:Copy !req
232. "Do you want to vanquish your foes?"Copy !req
233. "Of course," he'll say, "go to it. "Copy !req
234. We'll fight for him, make him king,
then we'll subvert that king.Copy !req
235. We'll seize his royal throne and loot
the country four ways from Sunday.Copy !req
236. How's that for a plan?Copy !req
237. Heh. You're both out of your minds.Copy !req
238. To start with...Copy !req
239. the only way to get there
is through Afghanistan. Hmm. Hm!Copy !req
240. Kafiristan? Heh, heh, heh.
No, no, no.Copy !req
241. Two white men on their own
would be cut to pieces...Copy !req
242. before they were five miles
into the Khyber Pass.Copy !req
243. Just suppose we managed it.Copy !req
244. Just suppose, and suppose we got
across the Afghan plains, then what?Copy !req
245. There's the Hindu Kush...Copy !req
246. a frozen sea of peaks and glaciers.Copy !req
247. A party of geographers,
a mapping expedition...Copy !req
248. tried several years ago
and vanished into thin air.Copy !req
249. No white man has ever been there
and come out since Alexander.Copy !req
250. Alexander who?Copy !req
251. Alexander the Great, King of Greece...Copy !req
252. about 300 years before Christ.Copy !req
253. Well, if a Greek can do it, we can do it.Copy !req
254. Right.Copy !req
255. I can only repeat,
you're a pair of lunatics.Copy !req
256. Would a pair of lunatics draw up
a contract like this?Copy !req
257. "This contract between me and you...Copy !req
258. pursuing witnesseth here
in the name of God, Amen, and so forth.Copy !req
259. That you and me will settle
this matter together...Copy !req
260. I. e., to be Kings of Kafiristan.Copy !req
261. That you and me will not,
while this matter is being settled...Copy !req
262. look at any liquor nor any woman,
black, white or brown...Copy !req
263. so as to get mixed up
with one or the other harmful.Copy !req
264. That we conduct ourselves
with dignity and discretion...Copy !req
265. and if one of us gets into trouble,
the other one will stay by him.Copy !req
266. Signed by you and me this day. "Copy !req
267. There's no need for the last article,
but it's got a ring to it.Copy !req
268. Ah.Copy !req
269. Daniel?Copy !req
270. Now, you witness it and it's legal.Copy !req
271. Well, gentlemen, it's 4 in the morning.Copy !req
272. Don't you stand on politeness,
brother Kipling.Copy !req
273. If you want to go to bed,
we won't steal anything.Copy !req
274. Well, thank you.Copy !req
275. We'll send word
when we're ready to push off...Copy !req
276. in case you want to bid us
a fond goodbye.Copy !req
277. Yes, well.
try not to burn the place down.Copy !req
278. Here we are.Copy !req
279. "Kafiristan, 10,000 square miles,
mountainous terrain...Copy !req
280. religion unknown,
population unknown.Copy !req
281. Conquered by Alexander in 328 B.C.Copy !req
282. According to Herioditus...Copy !req
283. he defeated King Ox Y-Artes...Copy !req
284. whose daughter Roxanne
he subsequently took to wife. "Copy !req
285. Buy for your wife, sir?Copy !req
286. Hee-yah!Copy !req
287. If you buy from me. sir,
I make you very good price, sir.Copy !req
288. Very cheap, very nice thing for you.
Specially for you, sir.Copy !req
289. Ah, ah, ah!Copy !req
290. Hee-yah, hee-yah, hee-yah.Copy !req
291. Our forward continuance is impeded by
this fellow, sir, who is begging the sahib...Copy !req
292. that you will accompany with him
that he may show to you a rare...Copy !req
293. - ... and wonderful thing.
- Thing? What thing?Copy !req
294. Indeed. The man would not say
what thing.Copy !req
295. Therefore, sahib, sir,
I suspect his bad intentions...Copy !req
296. to entice the sahib into
a naughty house of disreputation...Copy !req
297. where he will take you
and kill you and murder you...Copy !req
298. and cut your throat and rob the money
from your pockets also.Copy !req
299. Crikey, wait for me at the office.Copy !req
300. But, sir, please. Sahib, myself, I will
take you to a loving house. More better.Copy !req
301. You will be very happy and delightful.Copy !req
302. Hey! Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
303. Morning to you, brother.Copy !req
304. Glad you stopped by
and caught the matinée performance.Copy !req
305. - What'd you think of it?
- It's convincing enough...Copy !req
306. but what the devil
are you two rascals up to now?Copy !req
307. Last week it was kings you were to be,
of Kafiristan, as I remember.Copy !req
308. Right, but we've gotta get there first.Copy !req
309. Madness is a trick.Copy !req
310. Who'd hurt some poor crazy priest
and his servant, hm?Copy !req
311. Peachy worked out this dodge. We've used
it before. He's good with the lingo.Copy !req
312. He does the talking
while I act dumb and balmy.Copy !req
313. I've got so I can do
the clowning pretty good.Copy !req
314. I can twitch so as to put the fear of Allah
into any good Muslim.Copy !req
315. I can froth at the mouth
something horrid. Want to see?Copy !req
316. Well, I can imagine.Copy !req
317. All right. Then.
Some other time, perhaps.Copy !req
318. Come over here.Copy !req
319. Give it a touch up down here.Copy !req
320. - Rifles?
- Martinis. 20 of them and ammunition.Copy !req
321. Cost us every sou we squeezed
out of the Raj of Degumber.Copy !req
322. Good heavens.Copy !req
323. - You mean, you went back there?
Of course, brother Kipling.Copy !req
324. Heaven help you
if you're caught with those at the border.Copy !req
325. Gun-running isn't exactly new to us.Copy !req
326. Well, brother Kipling,
goodbye and many thanks.Copy !req
327. Man, don't do it.Copy !req
328. The odds are too great.Copy !req
329. Wish us luck. We met upon the level.Copy !req
330. And we're parting on the square.Copy !req
331. Good luck indeed.Copy !req
332. Come along, you ugly beast.Copy !req
333. Wait.Copy !req
334. Here. Take this.Copy !req
335. Last time Danny and me came
through the Khyber Pass...Copy !req
336. we fought our way,
yard by bloody yard.Copy !req
337. And General Bobbs
called us heroes afterwards.Copy !req
338. But that was years ago...Copy !req
339. and times have changed.Copy !req
340. Blast. Look who's on sentry.Copy !req
341. Mulvaney.Copy !req
342. That loud-mouthed Mick
from the Black Tyrone.Copy !req
343. Private Mulvaney.Copy !req
344. Come to attention
when I am addressing you.Copy !req
345. Slope arms.Copy !req
346. Present arms.Copy !req
347. Mark time.Copy !req
348. At the double.Copy !req
349. Corporal of the Guard.Copy !req
350. Take three men and put Private Mulvaney
under close arrest.Copy !req
351. Bloody man's drunk again.Copy !req
352. We came through the Khyber
with that caravan...Copy !req
353. doing all sorts of antics
to amuse the people.Copy !req
354. At night he told them their fortunes
in a tongue of his own devising...Copy !req
355. and I translated.Copy !req
356. And all concerned were happy...Copy !req
357. because I promised them
that all their wishes would come true.Copy !req
358. Oh!Copy !req
359. Then at Jaedallak...Copy !req
360. we turned off towards Kafiristan.Copy !req
361. They were sad to see us leave the caravan.
We'd brought it good luck.Copy !req
362. Two she-camels had been foaled and
there was no sniping at us from the hills.Copy !req
363. They waved goodbye
to the mad priest and his servant.Copy !req
364. And Danny danced them out of sight.Copy !req
365. The country was deserty,
the inhabitants was dispersed and solitary.Copy !req
366. We traveled by night
and kept away from villages...Copy !req
367. as we didn't want to waste ammunition
in idle fighting with Afghans.Copy !req
368. The Pushtukan.Copy !req
369. A little wavy blue line on the map...Copy !req
370. but we couldn't hope
to get the camels across.Copy !req
371. So Peachy says to Danny,
"It doesn't matter what they cost us...Copy !req
372. in the Lahore Bazaar.
We'll trade them for goats. "Copy !req
373. We're playing for very high stakes.Copy !req
374. Pipe Major McCrimmon bet me
ten bob once...Copy !req
375. he could blow up
a whole goatskin with one breath...Copy !req
376. and he did.Copy !req
377. Though he'd sat down on an anthill
in his kilt unknowing-like.Copy !req
378. Ten shillings. It was ten shillings
to Pipe Major McCrimmon.Copy !req
379. Mules.Copy !req
380. Now...Copy !req
381. the problem is...Copy !req
382. how to divide five Afghans
from three mules...Copy !req
383. and have two Englishmen left over.Copy !req
384. Shoot them out their saddles.Copy !req
385. No, the mules would bolt.Copy !req
386. Sit over there. Danny.Copy !req
387. So we starts forward,
into those bitter cold mountainous parts...Copy !req
388. and never a path broader
than the back of your hand.Copy !req
389. The mountains was tall and white...Copy !req
390. like wild rams.Copy !req
391. They was always fighting so you couldn't
sleep at night for the din of their fighting.Copy !req
392. The son of God goes forth to warCopy !req
393. A kingly crown to gainCopy !req
394. His blood-red banner streams afarCopy !req
395. Who follows in his train?Copy !req
396. For God's sake, Danny, pipe down.Copy !req
397. Why? Who's going to hear us up here?Copy !req
398. These mountains, that's who.
Do you want to start an avalanche?Copy !req
399. God, you don't believe
that kind of foolishness, I hope.Copy !req
400. If a king can't sing,
it ain't worth being king.Copy !req
401. A glorious band, the chosen few...Copy !req
402. The country was most mountainous
and the mules was most contrary.Copy !req
403. They all died but one,
and she died later on.Copy !req
404. Danny went snow-blind
and clung to Jenny's tail.Copy !req
405. Up and up we went...Copy !req
406. and down, and down, through defiles...Copy !req
407. and over snowy saddles,
till all at once...Copy !req
408. two giants stood in our way.Copy !req
409. God's holy trousers.Copy !req
410. What's the matter, Peachy?Copy !req
411. Blokes twice our size,
standing guard in the snow. Like.Copy !req
412. - Two of them.
- Give them a round apiece.Copy !req
413. Not a move out of them.Copy !req
414. Stay put.Copy !req
415. I'll reconnoiter.Copy !req
416. They're not real, thank God.Copy !req
417. They're horrible.Copy !req
418. Put there by the Kafiris
to frighten the neighbors, no doubt.Copy !req
419. Peachy...Copy !req
420. that means we're in Kafiristan
or almost.Copy !req
421. So it does.Copy !req
422. What was that?Copy !req
423. Our bridges have been burnt.
so to speak.Copy !req
424. What do you mean?Copy !req
425. The bridge we crossed by
ain't there no longer.Copy !req
426. What?Copy !req
427. Now what?Copy !req
428. Well, tell me.Copy !req
429. A crevasse.Copy !req
430. We've had it. Danny, coming and going.Copy !req
431. Wide?
- Wide enough.Copy !req
432. It drops into nothing below,
straight as a beggar can spit.Copy !req
433. That's the last of them Peachy.Copy !req
434. No more gods to burn.Copy !req
435. It looks like "Last Post," Danny.Copy !req
436. I don't fancy dying by inches...Copy !req
437. feeling the cold creeping up
my arms and legs, getting all numb.Copy !req
438. I'll do the necessary
when the fire goes out.Copy !req
439. Fair enough.Copy !req
440. Ain't it a bloody shame though, eh?Copy !req
441. Our getting this close and not making it.Copy !req
442. A stone's throw away, our kingdom.Copy !req
443. I'd have like to seen you, Danny,
with a gold crown on your head...Copy !req
444. if you could've found one that fitted it.Copy !req
445. Peachy, in your opinion...Copy !req
446. have our lives been misspent?Copy !req
447. Well, that depends on how you look at it.Copy !req
448. I wouldn't say the world's a better place
for our having lived in it.Copy !req
449. No, hardly that.Copy !req
450. Nobody's gonna weep their eyes out
at our demise.Copy !req
451. And who'd want them to anyway?Copy !req
452. And we haven't many good deeds
to our credit.Copy !req
453. None. None to brag about.Copy !req
454. But how many men have been
where we've been...Copy !req
455. and seen what we've seen?Copy !req
456. Bloody few, and that's a fact.Copy !req
457. Why, even now, I wouldn't change places
with the viceroy himself...Copy !req
458. if it meant giving up my memories.Copy !req
459. Me neither.Copy !req
460. Do you remember the time the Highlanders
was retreating down the hill...Copy !req
461. - ... at Ali Masjid...
- Ali Masjid.Copy !req
462. and Pipe Major McCrimmon
got his sporran shot off? Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
463. Half a crown was in it, right?Copy !req
464. So back he goes after it without even
looking to see if that was all he'd lost.Copy !req
465. - And then he got the Victoria Cross...
- Victoria Cross.Copy !req
466. because the bloody Highlanders turned
around and followed him up the hill.Copy !req
467. Danny.Copy !req
468. We could get on.Copy !req
469. Kafiristan.Copy !req
470. The promised land.Copy !req
471. Hee-yah!Copy !req
472. Must be their Halloween.Copy !req
473. Upsadaisy, lad.Copy !req
474. Brass band and all.
Hail the conquering heroes.Copy !req
475. Bloody cheek.Copy !req
476. Where's their gratitude?Copy !req
477. I say...Copy !req
478. I say there...Copy !req
479. Are you Englishmen, please?Copy !req
480. Stone the bleeding crows.Copy !req
481. Yes, mate.Copy !req
482. And who might you be?Copy !req
483. Peachy, it's a Gurkha.Copy !req
484. Rifleman Machendra Bahadur Garung,
known to my regimen as Billy Fish.Copy !req
485. Is that right?Copy !req
486. Well, report, rifleman. What are
you doing here, wherever here is?Copy !req
487. I come with Colonel Robertson, sir.Copy !req
488. The geographer's party?Copy !req
489. Dear me, alas, by Jove.Copy !req
490. Party not reaching Er Heb
for very misfortunate reasons.Copy !req
491. Large mountain is falling on the heads
of Colonel Robertson and others.Copy !req
492. Everybody buried alive,
except your servant.Copy !req
493. What about them up there,
banging drums and blowing horns...Copy !req
494. and then shooting arrows at us?Copy !req
495. Oh. Big noise,
intended to scare away devils.Copy !req
496. Many devils here these days, you know?Copy !req
497. They thought we was devils?Copy !req
498. Kafiristan peoples very ignorant.Copy !req
499. I say to Headman Ootah...Copy !req
500. I say, oh, no, by Jove,
they're not devils...Copy !req
501. they gorasahibs,
British soldiers.Copy !req
502. Good man, Billy Fish.Copy !req
503. And now, if you will take us
to this Ootah bloke...Copy !req
504. we will begin his education.Copy !req
505. Ootah!Copy !req
506. Ootah!Copy !req
507. Ootah!Copy !req
508. Ootah!Copy !req
509. Tell him we won't hurt him, not to worry.Copy !req
510. He wants to know where you come from.Copy !req
511. Tell him we tumbled from the skies.Copy !req
512. Ah.Copy !req
513. He wants to know are you gods?Copy !req
514. Not gods. Englishmen,
which is the next best thing.Copy !req
515. I ofttimes tell Ootah
about Englishmans...Copy !req
516. how they give names to dogs
and take off hats to womans...Copy !req
517. and march into battle, left, right,
with rifles on their shoulders.Copy !req
518. Bringing enlightenment
to the darker regions of the earth.Copy !req
519. He wants to know how rifle works.Copy !req
520. Show him, Peachy.Copy !req
521. We are not gods exactly...Copy !req
522. but we are heaven-sent to deliver you
from your enemies.Copy !req
523. Enemies all around.Copy !req
524. The Bashkai are the worst.Copy !req
525. Whole town comes out and pisses
downstream when we go bathing.Copy !req
526. Shocking.Copy !req
527. They are always killing our womans.Copy !req
528. Putting on masks...Copy !req
529. so Er Heb chap is thinking them devils
and running like the bloody hell away.Copy !req
530. War. Red war we'll give them.Copy !req
531. He says he give you two goats
for each Bashkai man you're killing.Copy !req
532. One goat for each womans and childs.Copy !req
533. A handsome offer.Copy !req
534. But rather than knocking them over
one at a time...Copy !req
535. we'd like to do the whole thing
in one foul swoop.Copy !req
536. Serve him up a proper victory.
Storm Bashkai. Take the city.Copy !req
537. He says how much for all that?Copy !req
538. Only the honor...Copy !req
539. of leading the brave men
of Er Heb into battle.Copy !req
540. Plus whatever we may fancy
in the way of souvenirs.Copy !req
541. A bauble here and a bangle there.Copy !req
542. Bashkai is only the beginning.
We hope to go on from victory to victory...Copy !req
543. until he runs out of enemies.Copy !req
544. And a monarch of all you survey.Copy !req
545. All he surveys?Copy !req
546. From the highest place in the valley.Copy !req
547. The mountains will echo your name.Copy !req
548. Ootah the Great.Copy !req
549. He says he prefers Ootah the Terrible.Copy !req
550. Then Ootah the Terrible it shall be.Copy !req
551. And take him in token of our earnest.Copy !req
552. And now the womans of Er Heb
will cut his bullocks off. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
553. Couldn't happen in a better cause.Copy !req
554. - Contract.
- Contract.Copy !req
555. Ootah say, "You no like?"Copy !req
556. Tell His Highness
we've given up strong drink...Copy !req
557. until we've conquered all his enemies.Copy !req
558. Boil them once or twice in hot water and
they'll come out like chicken and ham.Copy !req
559. You wouldn't know them
from the Gaiety chorus.Copy !req
560. Ootah says take your pick.Copy !req
561. He does?Copy !req
562. Tell His Majesty...Copy !req
563. one's prettier than another.Copy !req
564. I couldn't choose.Copy !req
565. Take two, take three,
take as many as you like.Copy !req
566. There are more where they came from.Copy !req
567. He has 27 daughters.Copy !req
568. They're his daughters?
His own daughters?Copy !req
569. The dirty old brute.Copy !req
570. Different countries, different customs.
Mustn't be prejudiced, Peachy.Copy !req
571. Thank His Majesty
but tell him we've also taken a vow...Copy !req
572. not to dally with females
till all his enemies are vanquished.Copy !req
573. He has 32 sons if you're liking boys.Copy !req
574. Tell him he makes my gorge to rise.
Go on.Copy !req
575. Hold on, Peachy, he's only being
hospitable according to his likes.Copy !req
576. Polo.Copy !req
577. Everything's the same as ours
except the ball. It's bigger.Copy !req
578. Do they always use that bigger ball?Copy !req
579. It depend on size of man's head. Big
head, big ball. This your Bashkai man.Copy !req
580. Big damn head.Copy !req
581. The bloody heathens.Copy !req
582. Different countries, different customs.
Mustn't be prejudiced, Danny.Copy !req
583. Now, listen to me,
you benighted muckers.Copy !req
584. We're gonna teach you soldiering,
the world's noblest profession.Copy !req
585. When we've done with you,
you'll be able to stand up...Copy !req
586. and slaughter your enemies
like civilized men.Copy !req
587. But first, you'll have to learn
to march in step.Copy !req
588. Do the manual of arms
without even having to think.Copy !req
589. Good soldiers don't think,
they just obey.Copy !req
590. Do you suppose if a man thought twice,
he'd give his life for queen and country?Copy !req
591. Not bloody likely.
He wouldn't go near the battlefield.Copy !req
592. One look at your foolish faces...Copy !req
593. tells me you're going to be
crack troops.Copy !req
594. Him there with a five-and-a-half
hat size has the makings of a bloody hero.Copy !req
595. Now the timing in the British army
has always been one. Two, three.Copy !req
596. One, two. Three.Copy !req
597. One, two. Three.Copy !req
598. Say after me: One, two, three.Copy !req
599. One, two. Three.Copy !req
600. Ready, steady, go.Copy !req
601. One, two. Three.Copy !req
602. One, two. Three.Copy !req
603. You say it at the same time
as all the others, right?Copy !req
604. Tell him to say it the same time
as all the others.Copy !req
605. Right. Go.Copy !req
606. - One, two, three.
One, two, three.Copy !req
607. One, two. Three.Copy !req
608. Billy. Tell him to say it with the others.
With the others.Copy !req
609. One, two. Three.Copy !req
610. All right. Now ready, steady, go.Copy !req
611. One, two. Three.Copy !req
612. You don't say it before the others.
He's saying it before the others, Billy.Copy !req
613. Not before the others, not after
the others. With the bloody others.Copy !req
614. Right. Attention.Copy !req
615. Now, you, look...Copy !req
616. That one goes to there.
Say that one goes to there, that's it.Copy !req
617. Down there like that.
There we are. You okay? Right.Copy !req
618. Blimey.Copy !req
619. Come on, smarten up.
you horrible lot.Copy !req
620. Attention.Copy !req
621. That's better.Copy !req
622. Troops, march.Copy !req
623. Regiment, quick march.Copy !req
624. Left, left, left, right, left.Copy !req
625. Now, wait a minute, ducks, you're
a handsome piece. That I don't deny...Copy !req
626. but the contract clearly states...Copy !req
627. that the party of the first part,
which is Danny...Copy !req
628. and the party of the second part,
which is me...Copy !req
629. shall nowise compromise ourselves...Copy !req
630. with parties of the third part,
which is you.Copy !req
631. All binding, properly sworn to...Copy !req
632. witnessed and attested.Copy !req
633. - Danny.
- Shaw.Copy !req
634. Thank God you arrived.Copy !req
635. Let's go and seek safety in battle.Copy !req
636. Trumpeter, sound your trumpet.Copy !req
637. Billy Fish.Copy !req
638. Blood is what we want, the bloodier
the better. So see that it is so.Copy !req
639. So it shall be, huzoor.Copy !req
640. Like old times, Peachy.
Reminds me of Ali Masjid.Copy !req
641. It's a good job,
the odds are only 10-to-1.Copy !req
642. Halt.Copy !req
643. Line up in a straight line here.Copy !req
644. Present.Copy !req
645. Aim!Copy !req
646. Who are they?Copy !req
647. What's happening?Copy !req
648. Very holy men. They make walks
through all Kafiristan...Copy !req
649. collecting offerings for Holy City.Copy !req
650. Battle is postponed...Copy !req
651. until priests are passed.Copy !req
652. Why have they got their eyes closed?Copy !req
653. They do not wish to see any badness,
so keep eyes closed...Copy !req
654. until they return
to beauties of Sikandergul.Copy !req
655. Fire!Copy !req
656. Aim! Fire!Copy !req
657. Reload!Copy !req
658. Forward!Copy !req
659. Mutiny!Copy !req
660. The great bloody show-off.Copy !req
661. Rifle section, form line.Copy !req
662. Fix bayonets.Copy !req
663. Advance.Copy !req
664. Volley fire.Copy !req
665. Commence fire.Copy !req
666. Charge!Copy !req
667. And what. May I ask,
did you think you were playing at...Copy !req
668. charging the enemy single-handed?Copy !req
669. I got carried away, heat of the moment,
the blood was up.Copy !req
670. Acting like some green lieutenant
hoping to be mentioned in dispatches.Copy !req
671. A man of your age,
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.Copy !req
672. Sorry.Copy !req
673. Supposing you got killed?
Supposing that? Where would I be at?Copy !req
674. It won't happen again.Copy !req
675. See it don't. And what are you carrying
that arrow around for?Copy !req
676. No particular reason.
- I've never seen anything like it in me life.Copy !req
677. Hold on, laddy buck. What's he up to?Copy !req
678. He say he great warrior.
He win this big battle...Copy !req
679. and now according to custom
he lop off their heads.Copy !req
680. Great warrior. Eh? Well, I never saw him
in the thick of the fray.Copy !req
681. There'll be no execution
of prisoners in this army.Copy !req
682. Tell him to put that sword away.Copy !req
683. He says once sword unsheathed.
it must taste blood.Copy !req
684. Just as I thought,
he hasn't had it out until now.Copy !req
685. He says watch out or he get very angry
and lop your head off.Copy !req
686. All right. Up you get, off your hunkers.Copy !req
687. No more groveling.Copy !req
688. We ain't gonna put your city
to the torch...Copy !req
689. or hang you in chains
nor rape your daughters.Copy !req
690. Tell them to divide their goods in half...Copy !req
691. and we will choose
which half we want, in the way of spoils.Copy !req
692. Henceforth, let the men of Er Heb
and the men of Bashkai be as brothers.Copy !req
693. Brothers in arms.Copy !req
694. Let them march together
under one banner...Copy !req
695. and share and share alike
in the victories to come.Copy !req
696. Have the Bashkai any enemies
to speak of?Copy !req
697. Oh, enemies all around.Copy !req
698. The Bhardoks, the Ghundaras.
the Shus, the Khawaks.Copy !req
699. The Bhardoks people coming out and
pissing downstream on Bashkai people...Copy !req
700. when they go bathing.Copy !req
701. Shocking.Copy !req
702. We'll strike them down
and grind them into dust.Copy !req
703. Silver bracelet, ten shillings.Copy !req
704. A good heavy necklace of the same.
worth a fiver at least.Copy !req
705. Earring with bangles.Copy !req
706. One pig sticker with plain handle.Copy !req
707. A gold coin, worn pretty thin.Copy !req
708. A rosy red ring
and a few other ones. Plain.Copy !req
709. The whole lot should fetch ten
or fifteen quid in an able shop in London.Copy !req
710. Not too bad for the back of beyond.Copy !req
711. Sikander, Sikander, Sikander.Copy !req
712. They're calling for you.Copy !req
713. For me?Copy !req
714. Sikander, Sikander, Sikander.Copy !req
715. Sikander. Sikander.Copy !req
716. What does Sikander mean, Billy?Copy !req
717. Sikander a god.
Come here long ago from the west.Copy !req
718. Yeah, that'll be the Greek bloke
brother Kipling told us about.Copy !req
719. Alexander?Copy !req
720. Alexander. Sikander.Copy !req
721. Yeah. Alexander.Copy !req
722. He builded great city...Copy !req
723. Sikandergul. High in mountains.Copy !req
724. Sit on throne, all peoples worship him.Copy !req
725. Then one day, time comes,
he say he must go to east.Copy !req
726. People pull their hairs out. Tear clothes...Copy !req
727. so Sikander promise to send back son.Copy !req
728. 328 B.C...Copy !req
729. the encyclopedia said.Copy !req
730. Soldiers saw arrow go
into Danny's chest...Copy !req
731. him pluck it out and not bleeding.Copy !req
732. So?Copy !req
733. So son of Sikander.Copy !req
734. They think I'm a god?Copy !req
735. A god. Put your foot out
that I may kiss your big toe.Copy !req
736. You may kiss my royal arse.Copy !req
737. Not royal, holy.
You're a deity, remember?Copy !req
738. Peachy?
- Yes, Billy.Copy !req
739. Is Danny not son of Sikander?Copy !req
740. No, Billy, he's a man like you and me.Copy !req
741. He can break wind
at both ends simultaneous.Copy !req
742. Which, I'm willing to bet,
is more than any god can do.Copy !req
743. But the arrow...Copy !req
744. The arrow stuck in the bandoleer.Copy !req
745. There was no miracle. Billy,
so you'd better tell them out there.Copy !req
746. And my dad's name was
Herbert Dravot, Esquire...Copy !req
747. and he was bar steward
in a knocking shop in Durham.Copy !req
748. Hang on a minute, Danny.Copy !req
749. Maybe we're missing a bet here.Copy !req
750. What do you mean?Copy !req
751. Supposing you was an ignorant Kafiri...Copy !req
752. who would you rather follow.
a god or a man?Copy !req
753. Now, we're here to conquer
this country, ain't we?Copy !req
754. Well, with you as a god. It would take
half the time and half the trouble.Copy !req
755. The idea's a bit blasphemous-like.Copy !req
756. No, Danny, blaspheming is
when you take his name in vain...Copy !req
757. God Almighty's.Copy !req
758. And what if they found out
we was having them on?Copy !req
759. Why should they? We won't tell them.Copy !req
760. And you won't tell them, will you, Billy?Copy !req
761. Oh, no, indeed by Jove, no.Copy !req
762. Polo?Copy !req
763. Polo.Copy !req
764. Er Heb and Bashkai people
celebrate new brotherhood.Copy !req
765. - With whose head?
- Ootah's.Copy !req
766. We marched and fought
and took more villages.Copy !req
767. Our ranks swelled.Copy !req
768. They were well-trained and disciplined...Copy !req
769. but with Danny at their head,
Sikander the Second...Copy !req
770. they were also inspired.Copy !req
771. Sikander, Sikander, Sikander.Copy !req
772. After half a dozen victories...Copy !req
773. his fame was such
that there was no more fighting.Copy !req
774. We was met with gifts
and bevies of maidens...Copy !req
775. who danced and threw flowers.Copy !req
776. Girl.Copy !req
777. Venus de Milo in the flesh, if flesh it is,
and not Guinness and champagne.Copy !req
778. Billy. Tell her to stand up
and turn around.Copy !req
779. Just gazing. Peachy, just gazing.Copy !req
780. There's such a thing as enjoying beauty
for its own sake.Copy !req
781. Being only human...Copy !req
782. one thing leads to another.Copy !req
783. Give her a hat with
an ostrich feather in it...Copy !req
784. and there'll be no girl in Brighton on
a bank holiday could hold a candle to her.Copy !req
785. I must admit...Copy !req
786. she really is an eyeful.Copy !req
787. What's your name, girl?Copy !req
788. Roxanne.Copy !req
789. Roxanne.
Hey.Copy !req
790. Wasn't that the name
of the princess that Alexander married?Copy !req
791. It was that.Copy !req
792. Hold your head up.Copy !req
793. Girl afraid.
Of what?Copy !req
794. If god takes a girl,
she catches fire and go up in smoke.Copy !req
795. They do what?Copy !req
796. God's heart a burning torch,
his veins run fire, not blood.Copy !req
797. If god makes love to girl,
she goes "Kaa-choom!"Copy !req
798. In one flash. Not even any ashes left.Copy !req
799. I bet that was made up
by some jealous goddess.Copy !req
800. They come from Holy City
of Sikandergul...Copy !req
801. with a message for the one
who calls himself Son of Sikander.Copy !req
802. Tell them they're looking at him,
or would be if they opened their eyes.Copy !req
803. The message comes from Kafu Selim.Copy !req
804. - Who?
Kafu Selim.Copy !req
805. High priest of all Kafiristan.Copy !req
806. What's the message?Copy !req
807. Kafu Selim says come.Copy !req
808. Come?Copy !req
809. - Is that all?
That's all, just come.Copy !req
810. Doesn't waste words, does he?Copy !req
811. You tell Kafu Selim
that we appreciate the invitation...Copy !req
812. and that we will avail ourselves of it
one of these days.Copy !req
813. - No, come means come now. Today.
- Oh.Copy !req
814. What does he want to see us about,
or didn't he say?Copy !req
815. He just says come.Copy !req
816. I see.Copy !req
817. All right. Well, tell him to stand by...Copy !req
818. and the army will be ready
by first light.Copy !req
819. He says no. You come alone,
him and you.Copy !req
820. Without the army?Copy !req
821. You tell Kafu Selim
or whatever his name is...Copy !req
822. Peachy and me don't go anywhere
without the army goes with us.Copy !req
823. Shut up, Danny.Copy !req
824. We have to go.Copy !req
825. Have you gone starky?Copy !req
826. Keep your voice down
and put a smile on your face.Copy !req
827. We've got an audience, remember?Copy !req
828. Peachy, we'd be stone bonkers...Copy !req
829. to walk into a strange city
by our lonesomes.Copy !req
830. Either we do what they say
or we pull stumps and run.Copy !req
831. Make a beeline for the mountains
as soon as it's dark...Copy !req
832. and never look back at Kafiristan.Copy !req
833. Run? Not bloody likely.
Run from the likes of them?Copy !req
834. No...Copy !req
835. from our blokes.Copy !req
836. We're over a barrel, Danny.Copy !req
837. If we break away from a meeting
with old Kafu Selim...Copy !req
838. we'll lose face and that is the one thing
a god cannot afford.Copy !req
839. What to do?Copy !req
840. Bluff it out.Copy !req
841. Polish our buttons and leather, stuff
ramrods up our jacksies and look bold.Copy !req
842. Like we did when we were on charges
for drunk and resisting the guard.Copy !req
843. Sikandergul.Copy !req
844. God's holy trousers.Copy !req
845. No weapons allowed in holy city.Copy !req
846. All right. You've got us here.Copy !req
847. Now what? Hm?Copy !req
848. Where's your High Panjandrum? Hm?Copy !req
849. Afternoon, Your Reverence.
You said you wanted to see me?Copy !req
850. Tell him he can keep it, Billy.
Tell him I'm making him a present of it.Copy !req
851. What did he say, Billy?Copy !req
852. He say now we shall see.Copy !req
853. You mortals wait down there.Copy !req
854. Tell your filthy sods to take
their paws off me double quick...Copy !req
855. or by God,
I'll have their guts for garters!Copy !req
856. I'll pluck out your livers
and feed them to the kites.Copy !req
857. How dare you lay your hands on me...Copy !req
858. Daniel Dravot. Esquire.Copy !req
859. Sikander.Copy !req
860. Sikander.Copy !req
861. Sikander.Copy !req
862. Now what the bleeding hell?Copy !req
863. One minute he's about to cut
my bloody heart out...Copy !req
864. the next minute
he's flat on his bleeding face.Copy !req
865. He saw that...Copy !req
866. and he dropped like he was poleaxed.Copy !req
867. What do you make of it?Copy !req
868. He says that is mark of Sikander.Copy !req
869. They're Masons.Copy !req
870. By the square, by the level,
by the plumb rule, by the compasses...Copy !req
871. and by the all-seeing eye.
The craft, Danny, the craft.Copy !req
872. - That's what saved us.
Blimey.Copy !req
873. Only highest of high priests
knows about this sign...Copy !req
874. put in stone long ago by Sikander.Copy !req
875. Now Kafu Selim rejoicing
at the coming of his son.Copy !req
876. Sikander, Sikander, Sikander!Copy !req
877. It ain't brass, Danny.Copy !req
878. Sikander?Copy !req
879. Belong to Sikander.
now Son of Sikander's.Copy !req
880. These here make the jewels
in the Tower of London...Copy !req
881. look like cheap family heirlooms.Copy !req
882. God's holy trousers.Copy !req
883. Look at the size of that ruby.Copy !req
884. There's a bigger one.Copy !req
885. Why, Danny. We only have to fill
our pockets and walk out of here...Copy !req
886. to be millionaires.Copy !req
887. And all of it...Copy !req
888. all...Copy !req
889. would make us
the two richest men in England.Copy !req
890. - The Empire.
- The world.Copy !req
891. But will they let us take it?Copy !req
892. Take it away, I mean?Copy !req
893. Ask him, Billy.Copy !req
894. He says belong to Son of Sikander,
can do with it what he likes.Copy !req
895. Leave it here, take away, no matter.
His will be done.Copy !req
896. We've mules enough, thank God...Copy !req
897. and riflemen to guard them
when the time comes.Copy !req
898. What month is it?Copy !req
899. January, I make it,
or maybe February.Copy !req
900. March, April, May, June...Copy !req
901. four months of winter monsoon. Then...Copy !req
902. Four long months.Copy !req
903. What'll we do with the time?Copy !req
904. Add up our blessings here...Copy !req
905. divide them by two...Copy !req
906. not forgetting you, Billy...Copy !req
907. and multiply that
by the years we've got left.Copy !req
908. Tell His Reverence...Copy !req
909. he has my thanks...Copy !req
910. for discharging his trust so correctly...Copy !req
911. and delivering to me what is mine.Copy !req
912. And tell him I'm also grateful
to all them other holy men...Copy !req
913. who waited for me,
from one generation to another...Copy !req
914. down the centuries to this present day
and fortuitous occasion.Copy !req
915. My lord, these people are
from village of Kamdesh.Copy !req
916. This man owns 60 cows...Copy !req
917. all cows in the village.Copy !req
918. Very enterprising of him.Copy !req
919. Enterprise is not his, enterprise is hers.Copy !req
920. She's his wife. You see, and every time
he catches her with other mans...Copy !req
921. other mans has to pay a forfeit
of six cows. Is Kafiri custom.Copy !req
922. Use other man's wife, pay him six cows.Copy !req
923. You mean, he's piled up a fortune
of 60 cows out of her infidelities?Copy !req
924. And 32 goats.Copy !req
925. - She ain't a wife, she's a going concern.
Ha.Copy !req
926. And these are the unfaithful husbands?Copy !req
927. And these the wives?Copy !req
928. Those four wives of one man.Copy !req
929. These three wives of another.
Those six of another.Copy !req
930. This ain't no laughing matter.Copy !req
931. Without cattle, there ain't no meat,
nor hides, nor hooves, nor horns.Copy !req
932. Without milk there ain't no butter nor
cheese and the children's bowls go empty.Copy !req
933. Outrageous it is.Copy !req
934. Now, for encouraging his wife
to comport herself like Jezebel...Copy !req
935. one cow shall be paid
each of the other wives.Copy !req
936. For using a good law
for a bad purpose, another.Copy !req
937. For causing the young and innocent
to go without, a third.Copy !req
938. And for thinking he can
get away with it, a fourth.Copy !req
939. He shall pay 22 cases of compensation...Copy !req
940. of four cows to each wife.Copy !req
941. Which means, she's got...Copy !req
942. Fourteen and two-thirds.Copy !req
943. Fourteen and two-thirds more
infidelities to commit, to come out even.Copy !req
944. Let her husband see how he likes it when
she's earning cows for somebody else.Copy !req
945. Next case.Copy !req
946. What's the charge?Copy !req
947. No charge, this chief from Agatsi...Copy !req
948. which village have big fire and
winter supply of grains go up in smoke.Copy !req
949. Now chief want permission to raid
another village for to steal grain.Copy !req
950. They don't have to raid
and they won't starve neither.Copy !req
951. Make a proclamation, Billy.
What number is it?Copy !req
952. Thirty-one, my lord.Copy !req
953. Each and every village will bring
one-tenth of its crop here...Copy !req
954. to my royal city of Sikandergul...Copy !req
955. where same will be suitably stored.Copy !req
956. Henceforth, any village
suffering from privation...Copy !req
957. shall have grain issued to it
in accordance with its needs.Copy !req
958. I now pronounce this law enacted.
Selah.Copy !req
959. I also pronounce a five-minute recess
in this durbar.Copy !req
960. Yes, my lord.Copy !req
961. If we're gonna make it stick
that I'm a god...Copy !req
962. you ought to bow when you pass
in front of me like everybody else.Copy !req
963. All right. Danny.Copy !req
964. You understand, for appearance's sake.Copy !req
965. Yeah.Copy !req
966. No offense.Copy !req
967. No, no, of course not, Danny.Copy !req
968. You'd have to take your hat off
to Daniel Dravot.Copy !req
969. He dealt out justice as though
he wrote the book.Copy !req
970. Peachy was the general
of all his armies...Copy !req
971. but there was no more
battles to be fought.Copy !req
972. So Danny put him to building a bridge...Copy !req
973. that would span the chasm
below the holy city.Copy !req
974. It'd help keep Peachy occupied
till the spring came.Copy !req
975. Look, Danny, the geese.
Skeins of them flying north.Copy !req
976. Another fortnight
and the pass will be open.Copy !req
977. Now, what we ought to do is
make camp high up on the mountain...Copy !req
978. and wait on the weather.Copy !req
979. - I ain't going, Peachy.
- What?Copy !req
980. You heard me.Copy !req
981. - Not going?
- Correct.Copy !req
982. Have you gone barmy?Copy !req
983. No. I ain't been drinking neither.Copy !req
984. I see things clear.Copy !req
985. It's like bandages have been removed
from my eyes.Copy !req
986. Have you ever walked
into a strange room...Copy !req
987. - ... and it's like you've been there before?
- Uh...Copy !req
988. - I know what you mean, yes.
- Let me tell you something.Copy !req
989. This isn't the first time
I wore a crown.Copy !req
990. There's more to this than meets the eye.Copy !req
991. It all adds up.Copy !req
992. What does?Copy !req
993. Everything that's happened from the time
we decided to come here.Copy !req
994. No, before that...Copy !req
995. beginning with your taking
brother Kipling's watch.Copy !req
996. More than chance has been at work here.Copy !req
997. More than mere chance.Copy !req
998. Why his watch
and not somebody else's?Copy !req
999. And what made him
give me the emblem?Copy !req
1000. One thing after the other.Copy !req
1001. The avalanche, the arrow...Copy !req
1002. the mark on the stone,
and not to mention, another Roxanne.Copy !req
1003. Roxanne?Copy !req
1004. The Venus de Milo?Copy !req
1005. The same.Copy !req
1006. One more thing is needful
for my destiny to be fulfilled.Copy !req
1007. That I take her to wife.Copy !req
1008. For God's sake, leave the women alone.Copy !req
1009. Who's talking of women? I said wife.Copy !req
1010. A queen to breed a king's son
for the king.Copy !req
1011. What about the contract?Copy !req
1012. The contract only lasted
until such time as we was kings...Copy !req
1013. and king I've been these months past.Copy !req
1014. The first king here since Alexander,
the first to wear his crown in 2200 and-Copy !req
1015. - Fourteen.
- Fourteen years.Copy !req
1016. Him...Copy !req
1017. and now me.Copy !req
1018. They call me his son and I am...Copy !req
1019. in spirit, anyway.Copy !req
1020. It's a hugeous responsibility.Copy !req
1021. The bridge we're building,
it's only the first of many.Copy !req
1022. They'll tie the country together.Copy !req
1023. A nation I shall make of it,
with an anthem and a flag.Copy !req
1024. I shall treat on equal terms
the viceroy and other kings and princes.Copy !req
1025. And when I've accomplished
what I set out to do...Copy !req
1026. I'll stand one day before the queen...Copy !req
1027. not kneel, mind you,
but stand like an equal.Copy !req
1028. And she'll say, "I'd like you to accept
the Order of the Garter...Copy !req
1029. as a mark of my esteem, cousin. "Copy !req
1030. And she'll pin it on me herself.Copy !req
1031. It's big, I tell you, it's big.Copy !req
1032. And I tell you. You need a physic.Copy !req
1033. I'm fair disappointed in you, Peachy.
You of all men...Copy !req
1034. who followed me
and helped to make me what I am.Copy !req
1035. Followed you? Me? Who had hold
of the mule's tail, tell me that?Copy !req
1036. The jenny also done her bit.Copy !req
1037. Danny. Danny, we've had
this rare streak of luck.Copy !req
1038. Let's quit winners for once.
Cut and run while the running's good.Copy !req
1039. You call it luck.Copy !req
1040. - I call it destiny.
- Ha, ha.Copy !req
1041. Pardon me
while I fall down laughing.Copy !req
1042. Whatever you may think...Copy !req
1043. and however you may feel,
I'm a king and you're a subject.Copy !req
1044. So don't you provoke me,
Peachy Carnehan.Copy !req
1045. Or you'll do what?Copy !req
1046. You've got me trembling
in my boots here. What'll you do?Copy !req
1047. You have our permission to bugger off.Copy !req
1048. That I'll do, with or without
your bleeding permission.Copy !req
1049. And may you rot in hell, Daniel Dravot.Copy !req
1050. From Sikander the First...Copy !req
1051. to Sikander the Second...Copy !req
1052. was a long time between kings...Copy !req
1053. and a country needs a king,
like a king needs a crown.Copy !req
1054. The one is the glory of the other.Copy !req
1055. Therefore, I shall leave a son
behind me...Copy !req
1056. who will, in his turn,
beget other sons...Copy !req
1057. so the royal succession
will be unbroken...Copy !req
1058. and kings will be guaranteed
to you forever.Copy !req
1059. To which end...Copy !req
1060. I have chosen a wife.Copy !req
1061. Roxanne of Khawak.Copy !req
1062. Let her be brought here,
attended by members of her family.Copy !req
1063. I want flowers strewed along her way...Copy !req
1064. and the wedding ceremony will be
surrounded by pomp and circumstance.Copy !req
1065. Let messengers be sent forth
and summon my people from near and far.Copy !req
1066. Selah.Copy !req
1067. What are they saying, Billy Fish?Copy !req
1068. How can daughters of men
marry gods or devils?Copy !req
1069. - A god can do anything.
- But it is not proper.Copy !req
1070. Who says it isn't?Copy !req
1071. All the priests.Copy !req
1072. Would they put their word
against that of a god?Copy !req
1073. They say let Imbra decide.Copy !req
1074. Imbra is highest god of all.Copy !req
1075. And what if Imbra should
hold against me?Copy !req
1076. What'll they do about it?Copy !req
1077. Am I a dog or a god?Copy !req
1078. Haven't I put the shadow of my hand
over this country?Copy !req
1079. Do as I say. Send for the girl.Copy !req
1080. Tell them that's an order.Copy !req
1081. Well, Billy, what's going on?Copy !req
1082. Signs very bad. Peachy.Copy !req
1083. Priests open up birds,
all green inside and stinking most horrid.Copy !req
1084. Imbra very angry.Copy !req
1085. They probably cut the spleen,
the green's only bile.Copy !req
1086. Don't worry. Billy...Copy !req
1087. the girl won't go up in smoke,
I'll guarantee you that.Copy !req
1088. Girl don't matter...Copy !req
1089. many girls here, no difference.Copy !req
1090. Few girls more or less.Copy !req
1091. But cows now, they dry up...Copy !req
1092. and goats throw babies too soon.Copy !req
1093. And corn do not ripen.Copy !req
1094. Everybody go hungry.Copy !req
1095. Now, Billy, you know as well as I do...Copy !req
1096. that Dravot's no god.Copy !req
1097. He himself told you about the arrow.Copy !req
1098. But then priests must be
mistaken about Imbra.Copy !req
1099. He not angry because...Copy !req
1100. god marrying a mortal...Copy !req
1101. but because son of man
pretend to be a god.Copy !req
1102. Roxanne, don't be afraid...Copy !req
1103. I wouldn't harm you.Copy !req
1104. When the time comes,
you'll catch fire, I warrant...Copy !req
1105. like all women should
when their husbands hold them close.Copy !req
1106. But you won't perish, girl,
I promise you that.Copy !req
1107. Well, Danny...Copy !req
1108. the time has come, as the saying goes.Copy !req
1109. When do you leave?Copy !req
1110. At first light.Copy !req
1111. I thought you might like to take a peek
in the boxes before I nail them shut...Copy !req
1112. see what I'm taking.Copy !req
1113. Take what you like.Copy !req
1114. I weighed the gold out,
pound for pound.Copy !req
1115. The gems, ounce for ounce,
every jot and tittle.Copy !req
1116. Right.Copy !req
1117. I'll only need half the mules
we planned...Copy !req
1118. but I would like to take
all 20 riflemen...Copy !req
1119. to see me safe
through the Khyber Pass.Copy !req
1120. Take them. Take them.Copy !req
1121. God's holy trousers.Copy !req
1122. What is that?Copy !req
1123. They're savages here, one and all.Copy !req
1124. Leave them to go back
to slaughtering babes...Copy !req
1125. and playing stick and ball
with one and other's heads...Copy !req
1126. and pissing on their neighbors.Copy !req
1127. Please, Danny...Copy !req
1128. for the last time of asking...Copy !req
1129. come back with me.Copy !req
1130. For the last time of answering, I won't.Copy !req
1131. Peachy, I know you've got
my best interests at heart...Copy !req
1132. but the choice has been made.Copy !req
1133. Well, I'll be seeing you, then.Copy !req
1134. In London maybe...Copy !req
1135. when the queen gives you
the Order of the Garter.Copy !req
1136. Peachy?Copy !req
1137. - Yes, Danny.
- I'm to be married mid-morning.Copy !req
1138. Could you not wait
and leave afterwards?Copy !req
1139. See me up the aisle
for old times' sake, huh?Copy !req
1140. If you like.Copy !req
1141. Peachy, the ring.Copy !req
1142. I. Sikander the Second.
hereby take thee, Roxanne...Copy !req
1143. to be my lawful wedded wife...Copy !req
1144. and Queen of Kafiristan.Copy !req
1145. Selah.Copy !req
1146. Ahh!
Argh!Copy !req
1147. She bit me.Copy !req
1148. The slut bit me.Copy !req
1149. What's he saying, Billy?Copy !req
1150. Danny's bleeding. They know.
He says not god. Not devil, but man.Copy !req
1151. They've twigged it, Danny. You've had it.Copy !req
1152. The jig's up.Copy !req
1153. - I, Sikander-
- For God's sake.Copy !req
1154. We've got to brass it out, Danny.
Danny, brass it out.Copy !req
1155. Bags of swank.Copy !req
1156. We'll get your riflemen, Peachy,
we'll come back and slaughter the dogs.Copy !req
1157. A drenching in their own blood,
we'll give them.Copy !req
1158. Riflemen, prepare to advance.Copy !req
1159. Too many for that, Danny.
Retire in sections.Copy !req
1160. Retire? Retire be damned.Copy !req
1161. We've gotta make a run for it.Copy !req
1162. Front section.Copy !req
1163. Fire!Copy !req
1164. Back!Copy !req
1165. Front rank. Fire!Copy !req
1166. Back!Copy !req
1167. Break ranks!Copy !req
1168. Billy Fish, mount the mule and ride.Copy !req
1169. There's a chance you'll make it.Copy !req
1170. Gurkha foot soldier, not cavalry.Copy !req
1171. Rifleman Machendra Bahadur Garung
wishing you many good lucks.Copy !req
1172. - Out of bloody ammo.
- Me too.Copy !req
1173. Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed
for getting you killed...Copy !req
1174. instead of going home rich
like you deserved to...Copy !req
1175. on account of me being
so bleeding high and bloody mighty.Copy !req
1176. Can you forgive me?Copy !req
1177. That I can...Copy !req
1178. and that I do, Danny.Copy !req
1179. Free and full
and without let or hindrance.Copy !req
1180. Everything's all right, then.Copy !req
1181. The son of God goes forth to warCopy !req
1182. A kingly crown to gainCopy !req
1183. His blood-red banner...Copy !req
1184. Cut you buggers, cut.Copy !req
1185. A glorious band, the chosen fewCopy !req
1186. On whom the spirit cameCopy !req
1187. Twelve valiant saints, their hope they knewCopy !req
1188. And mocked the cross and flameCopy !req
1189. He met the tyrant's brandished steelCopy !req
1190. The lion's gory maneCopy !req
1191. He bowed his head, his death to feelCopy !req
1192. Who followed in his train?Copy !req
1193. And old Danny fell...Copy !req
1194. round and round
and round and round...Copy !req
1195. like a penny whirligig.Copy !req
1196. Twenty thousand miles.Copy !req
1197. For it took him half an hour to fall
before he struck the rocks.Copy !req
1198. And do you know
what they did to Peachy?Copy !req
1199. They crucified him, sir...Copy !req
1200. between two pine trees...Copy !req
1201. as Peachy's hands...Copy !req
1202. will show.Copy !req
1203. Poor Peachy. Who'd never
done them any harm.Copy !req
1204. He just hung there and he screamed,
but he didn't die.Copy !req
1205. And the next day they come
and they took him down and they said...Copy !req
1206. it was a miracle he wasn't dead,
and they let him go.Copy !req
1207. And Peachy come home in about a year...Copy !req
1208. and the mountains,
they tried to fall on old Peachy...Copy !req
1209. but he was quite safe because
Daniel walked before him.Copy !req
1210. And Daniel never...Copy !req
1211. let go...Copy !req
1212. of Peachy's hand...Copy !req
1213. and Peachy never let go...Copy !req
1214. of Daniel's head.Copy !req
1215. His head?Copy !req
1216. - You knew Danny, sir.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
1217. You knew...Copy !req
1218. most worshipful brother...Copy !req
1219. Daniel Dravot. Esquire.Copy !req
1220. Well, he became...Copy !req
1221. the King of Kafiristan...Copy !req
1222. with a crown on his head.Copy !req
1223. And that's all there is to tell.Copy !req
1224. I'll be on my way now. Sir.
I've got urgent business in the south.Copy !req
1225. I have to meet a man at Marwar Junction.Copy !req