1. Yeah, I worked
in a barber shop,
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2. But I never considered
myself a barber.
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3. I stumbled into it well,
married into it, more precisely.
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4. It wasn't my establishment.
Like the fella says, I only work here.
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5. The dump was 200 feet square...
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6. With three chairs,
or stations, as we call 'em,
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7. Even though there are only
two of us working.
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8. But this is my point.
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9. My point is that these traders and trappers
would come to this country,
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10. Get their pelts
and their gold "ignots"
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11. Frank Raffo, my brother-in-law,
was the principal barber.
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12. Man, could he talk.
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13. Maybe if you're 11 or 12 years old,
Frank's got an interesting point of view,
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14. But sometimes
it got on my nerves.
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15. Not that I complained,
mind you.
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16. Like I said, he was
the principal Barber.
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17. Frank's father August
they called him Guzzi
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18. Had worked the heads up
in Santa Rosa for 35 years...
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19. Until his ticker stopped
in the middle of a junior flattop.
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20. He left the shop to Frankie free and clear,
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21. And that seemed to satisfy
all of Frank's ambitions
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22. Cutting the hair
and chewing the fat.
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23. Me, I don't talk much.
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24. I just cut the hair.
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25. It says here that the russians
exploded an a-bomb...
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26. And there's not a damn thing
we can do about it.
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27. How do you like them apples?
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28. Being a barber is a lot like
being a bar man or a soda jerk.
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29. There's not much to it once
you've learned the basic moves.
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30. For the kids, there's the butch,
or the heinie,
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31. The flattop, the ivy,
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32. The crew, the vanguard,
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33. The junior contour...
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34. And occasionally
the executive contour.
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35. lived in a little bungalow
on napa street.
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36. The place was okay, I guess.
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37. Had an electric icebox,
a gas hearth...
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38. And a garbage grinde
built into the sink.
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39. You might say I had it made.
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40. Oh, year,
there was one other thing.
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41. Doris kept the books
at Nirdlingers,
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42. A small department store
on main street.
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43. Doris liked the work,
accounting.
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44. She liked knowing
where everything stood
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45. And she got a ten percent employee
discount on whatever she wanted
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46. Nylon stockings,
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47. Makeup and perfume.
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48. Doris and I went to church
once a week.
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49. Usually Tuesday night.
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50. Doris wasn't big
on divine worship,
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51. And I doubt if she believed
in life everlasting.
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52. She'd most likely tell you
that our reward is on this earth,
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53. And bingo is probably
the extent of it.
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54. B-7
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55. Watch you card,
honey.
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56. I wasn't crazy
about the game,
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57. But, I don't know,
it made her happy,
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58. And I found the setting
peaceful.
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59. Jesus. Bingo.
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60. Bingo!
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61. Doris's boss,
Big Dave Brewster,
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62. Was married to Ann Nirdlinger,
the department store heiress.
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63. Tonight they were coming over for dinner.
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64. As Doris said,
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65. We were entertaining.
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66. Me, I don't like
entertaining.
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67. - How you doin', Ed?
- Okay.
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68. Take your coat, Ann?
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69. The japs had us pinned down
on Buna for somethin' like six weeks.
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70. I gotta tell ya,
I thought we had it tough,
but we had supply.
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71. The japs were eatin' bugs
and grubs and thistles.
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72. Anyway, one day
we bust off the beach...
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73. And we find Arney Bragg,
this kid missin' on recon.
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74. the japs had eaten the son of a bitch.
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75. If you'll pardon the, uh...
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76. Anyway, he was a scrawny, pimply kid,
nothin' to write home about.
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77. I mean, I never woulda,
you know.
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78. So, what do I say, honey?
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79. What do I say
when I don't like dinner?
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80. Come on.
what do I say?
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81. I say,
"Arney Bragg, again?"
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82. Arney Bragg, again?
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83. - Were you in the service, Ed?
- No, Dave, I wasn't.
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84. Ed was 4-f on account
of his fallen arches.
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85. That's tough.
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86. That's... That's tough.
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87. Yeah, I guess Doris liked
all that he-man stuff.
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88. Sometimes I had the feeling that
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89. She and Big Dave were a lot closer
than they let on.
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90. The signs were all there,
plain enough.
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91. Not that I was gonna
prance about it, mind you.
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92. It's a free country.
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93. Holdin' down the porch area, Ed?
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94. - That's some wife you got there.
- Yeah.
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95. She's a rare one.
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96. So, how's business,
Dave?
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97. Oh, uh, couldn't be better.
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98. These are boom times
in retailin', Ed.
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99. We're openin' another store
over there on carson,
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100. Big Dave's annex.
Now, this is strictly haberdashery.
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101. It's casual wear, pajamas,
ladies' undergarments and foundations,
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102. That type of thing.
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103. As a matter of fact,
I'm thinkin' of makin' Doris the comptroller.
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104. Listen, when the annex opens up,
you gotta stop by.
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105. Maybe we can update your suit
a little bit, huh?
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106. Course, you're in
the smock all day.
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107. Where do you get those things,
anyway?
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108. Specialty store
down in Sacramento.
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109. You tie your own flies.
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110. I mean, if you're really serious,
you tie your own flies.
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111. You do, uh...
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112. I know. It's meticulous.
I know.
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113. People say, hey, you can
buy flies at the store.
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114. The point is, there's a certain art
to the process.
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115. The point is not merely to provide.
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116. Let me point out, these fish are not
as dumb as you might think.
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117. Sure.
Go to the store.
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118. Describe to the man
where you will be fishing and for what,
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119. And then you might as well have the man
sell you the goddamned fish, Ed.
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120. My point is,
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121. This is a man who knows nothing,
no matter how much you tell him.
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122. - So sell him the goddamned fish, Ed.
- Yeah.
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123. Okay.
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124. Who gets the privilege?
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125. We're just closing, friend.
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126. Oh, happy days.
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127. I wish I was doing well enough
to turn away business.
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128. What's the problem, friend?
this is a business establishment with posted hours.
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129. More power to ya, brother.
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130. The public be damned.
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131. I'll take care of him.
you go ahead, Frank.
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132. Have a seat, mister.
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133. - You sure, Eddie?
- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
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134. In your ear, mister.
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135. Oh, those fiery
Mediterraneans.
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136. Uh, say, uh,
not so fast there, brother.
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137. Pretty good, eh?
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138. Fools even the experts.
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139. One hundred percent human hair.
Handcrafted by Jacques
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140. Of San Francisco.
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141. I'd hate to have to tell you
what I paid for it.
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142. Yeah, it's a nice rug.
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143. I'm payin' it down
on the installment plan.
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144. A lot of folks live
with the pate exposed.
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145. They say the dames
think it's sexy,
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146. But for my money
it's just not good groomin'.
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147. And groomin' my friend,
is probably the most important thing in business.
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148. After personality, of course.
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149. Creighton Tolliver.
Pleased to know ya.
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150. Ed Crane.
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151. So, what brings you
to Santa Rosa?
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152. A goose, my friend.
I was chasin' a wild goose.
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153. Ed, have you ever heard
of venture capital?
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154. Risk money.
very speculative.
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155. Except that in certain situations
it's not, see.
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156. I thought I had
a prospect here
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157. Well, I make the haul up...
And this lousy so-and-so tells me...
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158. That the situation has changed.
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159. All of his capital's tied up
in expansion plans of his own.
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160. Thank you mother.
Pop goes another bubble.
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161. It's only the biggest business opportunity
since Henry Ford,
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162. And I can't seem
to interest a soul.
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163. Is that right?
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164. It's called dry cleaning.
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165. You heard me right, brother.
dry cleaning.
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166. Wash without water.
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167. No suds. No tumple.
No stress on the clothes.
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168. It's all done
with chemicals, friend.
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169. And here's the capper...
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170. No shrinkage.
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171. That's right.
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172. Dry cleaning.
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173. All I need is $10,000
to open up the first store.
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174. Then I use its cash flow
to finance another, and so on,
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175. Leapfrog, bootstrap myself
to a whole chain.
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176. Well, me and a partner.
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177. Cleanliness, friend.
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178. There's money in it.
there's a future.
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179. There's room to grow.
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180. Say, that looks pretty good.
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181. Let's see it
with the hairpiece on.
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182. Dry cleaning.
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183. Was I crazy
to be thinking about it?
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184. Was he a huckster or an opportunity,
the real Mccoy?
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185. My first instinct was
no, no, the whole idea was nuts.
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186. But maybe that was the instinct
that kept me locked in the barber shop,
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187. Nose against the exit
afraid to try turning the knob.
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188. - Honey?
- Hmm?
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189. Shave my legs, will ya?
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190. What if I could
get the money?
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191. It was clean.
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192. No water.
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193. Chemicals.
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194. Gimme a drag.
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195. Love ya, honey.
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196. What you...
uh, come in.
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197. Okay, yeah.
I'll see you tomorrow.
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198. Oh. I thought
you were the porter.
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199. Can I help ya?
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200. I'm Ed.
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201. Ed Crane.
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202. Um, I cut your hair today.
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203. I'm the barber.
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204. Jesus, yeah.
The barber.
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205. I didn't recognize you
without the smock.
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206. Did I leave somethin'
at the shop?
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207. No. No,
it's nothing like that.
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208. Um, I-I might be interested
in that business proposition.
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209. You got the dough?
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210. Well, I can get it.
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211. Come in. Come in!
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212. Sit down over there.
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213. - Coffee?
- No.
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214. Well, sit down,
make yourself comfortable.
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215. So tell me...
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216. Other than putting up the money, uh,
exactly what would you want the partner to, uh...
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217. Do?
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218. Hell, nothin'.
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219. You're gonna want to keep
tabs on your investment,
The running of the business,
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220. but I'm looking for a silent partner.
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221. I've done the research,
I've contacted the vendors.
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222. The deal is set.
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223. Disappear, if you'd like.
Check in whenever you want.
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224. I want the dough.
I don't take attendance.
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225. And how do we share the...
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226. Fifty-fifty,
straight down the line.
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227. You and me.
Finance and expertise.
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228. So you got the dough then,
do ya?
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229. I can have it in a week.
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230. The barber...
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231. Well, I thought this trip
was gonna be a bust.
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232. Just shows to go ya,
when one door slams shut,
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233. Another one opens.
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234. Here's to you, uh...
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235. Was that a pass?
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236. Maybe.
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237. Well, you're out of line, mister
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238. Not a problem.
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239. Way out of line.
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240. Right.
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241. Strictly business.
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242. Okay.
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243. I sent it to Dave
the next morning.
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244. Then I waited.
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245. - Frank?
- Huh?
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246. This hair.
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247. Yeah?
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248. You ever wonder about it?
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249. What do you mean?
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250. I don't know.
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251. How it keeps on coming.
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252. It just keeps growing.
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253. Yeah.
Lucky for us, huh, pal?
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254. No, I mean,
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255. It keeps growing,
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256. And it's part of us.
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257. And then we cut it off
and throw it away.
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258. Come on, Eddie.
You're gonna scare the kid.
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259. Okay, bud, you're through.
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260. I'm gonna take this hair
and throw it out in the dirt.
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261. What?
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262. I'm gonna mingle it
with common house dirt.
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263. What the hell
are you talking about?
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264. I don't know.
Skip it.
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265. Ed, gimme a zip.
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266. Where you going?
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267. Us. The party at Nirdlingers.
I told you last week.
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268. The Christmas push.
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269. Come on, get ready.
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270. It's important.
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271. Nah, you go ahead.
I'm not big on parties.
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272. Oh, don't be a grump.
Gimme a zip.
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273. Hey, uh, ain't you
in ladies' wear?
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274. Huh? Haven't I seen you
up in ladies' wear?
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275. I don't work here.
My wife does
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276. Uh-huh. Whew.
That's some beat, huh?
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277. Yeah.
Lucky for us, huh, pal?
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278. Check out the rack
on that broad in the angora.
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279. Ed, can I talk to you?
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280. Sure.
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281. Come in.
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282. Oh, sit down.
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283. Souvenired it off a jap
in New Guinea.
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284. Guess you're, uh, wonderin'
what Doris was so hot about.
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285. Havanas.
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286. My private stock.
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287. Romeo and Juliet.
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288. Ed, I...
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289. What is it, Dave?
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290. Ed, I've been weak.
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291. I've been weak.
The, uh...
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292. You're gonna burn yourself.
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293. Thanks.
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294. I, uh...
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295. Oh, Jesus.
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296. I've been carryin' on
with a married woman.
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297. No one you know.
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298. And now the, uh,
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299. The chickens are
comin' home to roost.
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300. I got a note.
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301. A blackmail note, you know.
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302. Come across,
or everybody knows.
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303. I guess you know
what that would do to me.
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304. I guess that would be
pretty awkward.
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305. Awkward?
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306. Yeah. Yeah.
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307. Ann would throw me
right out on my keister.
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308. I mean, it's her st...
It's her family's store, Ed.
It's her store.
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309. I serve at the indulgence
of the goddamn ownership.
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310. The lady's husband
would know.
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311. - How much do they want, Dave?
- Ten thousand dollars.
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312. I don't know what to do, Ed.
I don't know what I can do.
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313. You know,
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314. I know who
the son of a bitch is.
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315. You know... who who is?
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316. The son of a bitch.
The blackmailer.
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317. I know who he is.
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318. It's no one you know.
It's a businessman from Sacramento.
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319. A goddamn pansy, Ed.
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320. Tryin' to rope me
into some crackpot scheme.
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321. I heard him out,
then I told him to go to hell.
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322. The very next day
the very next day I get a note,
the blackmail note,
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323. Asking me for the same amout of money
he asked me for.
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324. The very next day.
Ten thousand dollars.
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325. How did he know that
you were seein' the woman?
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326. He stayed at the hotel
that I went to with the, uh,
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327. lady in question.
He must've seen us.
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328. Oh, Jesus.
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329. I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
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330. I don't know what to do.
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331. Why don't you just pay him. Dave?
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332. Cause that's my capitalization
on the annex.
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333. That's my operation.
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334. Christ almighty, Ed.
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335. That's what I just talkin'
to Doris about down there
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336. A way to get the money from the store
that we could hide from Ann.
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337. Doris, she was, she was pretty hot
about that, god bless her.
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338. Embezzlin', Ed.
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339. Embezzlin' from
my own goddamn wife.
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340. I'm sorry.
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341. I'm sorry.
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342. It's okay.
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343. In a way,
I felt bad for Big Dave.
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344. I knew that ten grand was going to
pinch him where it hurt,
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345. But Doris was two-timing me
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346. And I guess somewhere
that pinched a little too.
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347. That was pretty.
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348. Did you make that up?
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349. Oh, no.
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350. No, that was written
by Ludwig Van Beethoven.
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351. Well, it was quite something.
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352. Yeah, he wrote some
beautiful piano sonatas.
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353. That was really something.
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354. I'm Ed Crane.
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355. I know who you are, Mr. Crane.
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356. My father used to take me with him
when he went to get his hair cut.
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357. Walter Abundas?
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358. Oh, yeah, sure.
Walter.
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359. Yeah, I'm Rachel Abundas.
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360. But everyone call me Birdy.
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361. I'm sorry.
I just didn't remember.
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362. Oh, no, it's okay.
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363. You can't expect to remember
every skinny girl who comes in with her dad.
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364. So you don't, uh, like
that music out there?
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365. Not really.
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366. I'm not big on music, ordinarily.
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367. Ed.
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368. What a knucklehead.
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369. - Who?
- Dave.
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370. Why's that?
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371. Money problems.
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372. He's thinking about
canceling the annex.
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373. So?
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374. That means I don't run Nirdlingers.
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375. What a knucklehead.
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376. Big Dave did it, though.
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377. I sent a note telling him
where to drop the money.
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378. And he did.
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379. He came across.
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380. Yeah. Good!
How are ya?
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381. Come in.
I got everything organized.
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382. How you doin'?
You got a check?
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383. - Cash.
- Cash?
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384. Usually these kinds of things
are done with a bank draft,
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385. But cash, that's fine.
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386. It's all the same in the end.
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387. Dough is dough, huh?
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388. Whoa, nellie.
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389. I got the paperwork here.
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390. Partnership papers.
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391. They reflect our agreement.
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392. Fifty-fifty on the net.
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393. I provide professional services,
you provide the capital.
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394. I'm gonna give you a receipt
on the dough here.
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395. Uh, pretty straightforward.
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396. - I don't know whether you wanna show it to a lawyer
- No, that's okay.
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397. Yeah. Screw 'em, right?
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398. Pay them to tangle it up,
then you have to pay them to untangle them.
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399. What's the point?
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400. You just give me a second,
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401. I'll give you a receipt on the...
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402. Whoa, nellie.
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403. Okay, one thing
we didn't talk about was,
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404. I am thinking about,
uh, calling the place Tolliver's.
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405. After me, you know.
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406. I didn't think you were, uh,
much interested in, uh...
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407. - That's fine.
- Yeah, that's good. Good, good.
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408. Now, ready?
One second and I will...
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409. Okay, that's it.
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410. As per our discussion.
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411. All right, there it is,
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412. Writ large in legal escritoire.
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413. - And the, uh...
- Say, Creighton.
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414. You're not gonna screw me
on this.
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415. Screw you?
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416. Jesus.
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417. Take it to a lawyer.
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418. No, I insist!
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419. I insist!
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420. This is dry cleaning.
This is not some fly-by-night thing here.
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421. Oh, I'll tell you,
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422. I have been 13 years as an entrepreneur,
and I have never...
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423. - It's okay.
- Nobody's ever questioned me...
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424. Hey, you want the dough back?
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425. Huh? Huh? Do you know
who you're talkin' to here?
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426. Do you know who I am?
Do you have any idea who...
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427. It's okay.
Copy !req
428. So, Tolliver's is okay, then?
Copy !req
429. The next day was Saturday.
Copy !req
430. We were going to a reception
for Doris's cousin Gina...
Copy !req
431. Who just married a wop vendor
out near Modesto.
Copy !req
432. Doris didn't much feel like going,
and I didn't either.
Copy !req
433. But like she said,
we had a commitment.
Copy !req
434. I hate wops.
Copy !req
435. What's so goddamn strange
about that?
Copy !req
436. I didn't say a word.
Copy !req
437. You didn't have to
grow up with them.
Copy !req
438. Family.
Copy !req
439. Ed! Uncle Ed!
Copy !req
440. He's riding Garibaldi!
Uncle Frankie's riding Garibaldi!
Copy !req
441. That was when
she started drinking.
Copy !req
442. Doris.
Copy !req
443. Doris!
Copy !req
444. You been okay?
Copy !req
445. Mmm. Yeah.
How you doing, Costanza?
Copy !req
446. Oh, you know.
Still got my health.
Copy !req
447. And. Uh, how you been, uh...
Copy !req
448. - Ed.
- Ed.
Copy !req
449. He's a barber, right?
Copy !req
450. It's a good trade.
So, how come you got no kids, huh?
Copy !req
451. No, come on, kids!
Copy !req
452. I-I just ate lunch!
I couldn't eat another thing.
Copy !req
453. Oh, n... Anthony!
Copy !req
454. Anthony, it's you!
Copy !req
455. Okay, kids. Ready? And...
Copy !req
456. Congratulations. Gina.
It's so goddamn wonderful.
Copy !req
457. Life is just so goddamn wonderful,
You almost won't believe it.
Copy !req
458. - It's just a bowl of goddamn cherries.
- Let' go.
Copy !req
459. Sure.
Copy !req
460. Congratulations on your goddamn cherries!
Copy !req
461. Let go of my goddamn elbow!
Copy !req
462. I never wanna see
another blueberry pie.
Copy !req
463. I never even wanna hear those words.
Copy !req
464. Don't say those words, Ed.
Copy !req
465. Don't say those words.
Copy !req
466. I'd met Doris blind
on a double date...
Copy !req
467. With a loudmouthed buddy of mine
who was seeing a friend of hers from work.
Copy !req
468. We went to a movie.
Doris had a flask.
Copy !req
469. Boy, she could put it away.
Copy !req
470. At the end of the night,
she said she liked that I didn't talk much.
Copy !req
471. It was only a couple weeks later
she suggested we get married.
Copy !req
472. Yeah.
Copy !req
473. Ed, it's Big Dave.
I gotta talk to you.
Copy !req
474. What?
Copy !req
475. Now?
Copy !req
476. Yeah. It's important.
Copy !req
477. But it-it's...
Copy !req
478. Please, Ed.
Copy !req
479. Your place?
Copy !req
480. I'm at the store.
Copy !req
481. Let yourself in.
Copy !req
482. Dave?
Copy !req
483. I'm ruined.
Copy !req
484. They've ruined me.
Copy !req
485. This money.
Copy !req
486. No annex.
Copy !req
487. I'm all shot to hell.
Copy !req
488. So, you paid the guy?
Copy !req
489. What kind of man are you?
Copy !req
490. What kind of man...
Copy !req
491. Are you?
Copy !req
492. I mean, I'd understand
if you came in here and...
Copy !req
493. Socked me in the nose, whatever.
Copy !req
494. I deserve it.
Copy !req
495. I'm not proud of what I did.
Copy !req
496. But you.
Copy !req
497. Yeah, I paid up.
Copy !req
498. As you well know.
Copy !req
499. But then I went and
found the pansy.
Copy !req
500. Oh, you got nothin' to say, huh?
Copy !req
501. Well, you know the story.
Copy !req
502. I didn't.
Copy !req
503. I had to beat it
out of the pansy.
Copy !req
504. I'm all shot to hell.
Copy !req
505. Well, Dave, uh...
Copy !req
506. It was only a couple weeks later
she suggested we get married.
Copy !req
507. I said, "Don't you want
to get to know me more?"
Copy !req
508. She said, "Why?
Does it get better?"
Copy !req
509. She looked at me
like I was a dope,
Copy !req
510. Which I never
really minded from her.
Copy !req
511. And she had a point,
I guess.
Copy !req
512. We knew each other
as well then as now.
Copy !req
513. Anyway, well enough.
Copy !req
514. Holy, moley,
do I got a headache.
Copy !req
515. - How are you today, Ed?
- Okay.
Copy !req
516. - You don't got a headache?
- No.
Copy !req
517. Damn, I got a headache
to beat the band.
Copy !req
518. Did you pump it? You can't pump it.
That'll just flood it.
Copy !req
519. No, no, no, you gotta pump it.
You can't just hold it down.
I mean that'll flood it.
Copy !req
520. You crazy?
You pump it.
Copy !req
521. You can't hold it down.
Copy !req
522. - Just turn the key.
- Not when it's cold.
Copy !req
523. Well, if it's cold, choke it.
Copy !req
524. And pump it.
Copy !req
525. How many time?
Copy !req
526. Ed Crane?
Copy !req
527. I'm Crane.
Copy !req
528. - Come on outside.
- Sure.
Copy !req
529. I'm officer Persky.
This is Krebs.
Copy !req
530. Well, we goin'?
Copy !req
531. Cigarette?
Copy !req
532. Right.
Copy !req
533. Pete's got some news for ya.
Copy !req
534. Look, pal, um,
Copy !req
535. It's a tough break, but, um,
Copy !req
536. Well, damn it,
your wife's been pinched.
Copy !req
537. They sent us around
to tell you.
Copy !req
538. They sent us around to tell you.
We pulled the detail.
Copy !req
539. My wife?
Copy !req
540. Yeah, they brung her down
to county jail.
Copy !req
541. Homicide.
Copy !req
542. Well, embezzlement...
Copy !req
543. And homicide.
Copy !req
544. Guy named David Brewster.
He's the guy she...
Copy !req
545. H-He's the decedent.
Copy !req
546. I don't understand.
Copy !req
547. He's the dead guy.
Copy !req
548. Yeah, it's a tough break.
Copy !req
549. Visiting ends at 5:00.
Copy !req
550. Oh, uh, missed it today,
but, uh,
Copy !req
551. You can go see her tomorrow.
Copy !req
552. Sorry, pal.
Copy !req
553. They sent us to tell ya.
Copy !req
554. Crab detail.
Copy !req
555. - Hello, Walter.
- Hello, Ed.
Copy !req
556. Thanks.
Thanks for seein' me at home.
Copy !req
557. Oh, hell.
Want a drink?
Copy !req
558. Uh, no, thanks.
Copy !req
559. You sure you don't need one?
Copy !req
560. I'm fine.
Copy !req
561. - Boy.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
562. Jesus.
Copy !req
563. So, uh,
What do I, uh...
Copy !req
564. Of course, uh, I, uh...
Copy !req
565. It's out of my league.
Copy !req
566. No, I... no, I-I do probate
and real estate...
Copy !req
567. And title search.
Copy !req
568. I'd be absolutely worthless,
somethin' like this. Absolutely worthless.
Copy !req
569. Excuse me.
Copy !req
570. I just finished dinner.
Copy !req
571. Frankly, Doris'd be better off
with the county defender.
Copy !req
572. - He a good man?
- Bert's okay.
Copy !req
573. Yeah, he...
he's a good man.
Copy !req
574. Listen. I won't kid you, Ed.
Copy !req
575. Uh, there's nobody around here
has any experience with this kind of thing.
Copy !req
576. I hear they're bringing a prosecutor up.
Copy !req
577. From, uh, Sacramento.
Copy !req
578. It's a capital offense.
They're taking it seriously.
Copy !req
579. - So...
- They're taking it seriously.
Copy !req
580. So, what-what, uh...
Copy !req
581. Do you want any more coffee, dad?
Oh, hi, Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
582. Hello, Rachel.
Copy !req
583. I was so sorry to hear.
Copy !req
584. Yeah, thanks.
Copy !req
585. - Coffee, Ed?
- No, thanks.
Copy !req
586. - Ah, no, thanks, honey. We're...
- Okay, dad.
Copy !req
587. It was good to see you again,
Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
588. Damn.
Copy !req
589. A good kid.
Copy !req
590. Jesus...
Copy !req
591. Who do you think?
Copy !req
592. Lloyd Garroway in San Francisco.
Copy !req
593. Probity.
Copy !req
594. You know, nobody ever said anything iffy
about Lloyd Garroway.
Copy !req
595. He's conservative.
Copy !req
596. Jury might like that.
Might like that here.
Copy !req
597. Probity.
Copy !req
598. So, he's, uh,
the best man for...
Copy !req
599. No.
Copy !req
600. The best, the money-is-no-object best,
Copy !req
601. any lawyer'll tell you,
is Freddy Riedenschneider from...
Copy !req
602. Sacramento.
Copy !req
603. I don't know
how you're fixed for money.
Copy !req
604. - But he's...
- The best.
Copy !req
605. The best, yeah.
Copy !req
606. Riedenschneider.
Copy !req
607. No question about it.
Copy !req
608. Honey.
Copy !req
609. I brought your makeup.
Copy !req
610. Glasses.
Copy !req
611. What happened to you?
Copy !req
612. I don't know
what's goin' on... I...
Copy !req
613. I don't know
what happened to Big Dave.
Copy !req
614. I know some of it.
Copy !req
615. Irregullarities in the books, they said.
Can I explain it?
Copy !req
616. You don't have to
explain anything.
Copy !req
617. I did help him cook the books, Ed.
I did do that.
Copy !req
618. Should I...
Copy !req
619. Should I tell you
why I changed the books?
Copy !req
620. You don't have to
tell me anything.
Copy !req
621. No, no, no!
Copy !req
622. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
623. My books used to be perfect.
Copy !req
624. Anyone could open 'em up
and make sense of the whole goddamn store.
Copy !req
625. I knew we'd pay for it.
Copy !req
626. I don't care what it costs!
Copy !req
627. This is when you come together.
Copy !req
628. Well, that's awfully
generous of you, Frank.
Copy !req
629. The hell with it.
The hell with it, Eddie.
Copy !req
630. This is when you come together.
Copy !req
631. This is family.
Copy !req
632. They're just people
like you and me, Ed.
Copy !req
633. Remember that.
Copy !req
634. Just people.
Copy !req
635. They gotta put up the big front
so that people will trust 'em with their money.
Copy !req
636. This is why the big lobby, Ed.
Copy !req
637. But they put their pants on
one leg at a time just like you and me.
Copy !req
638. They, too, use the toilet, Ed,
in spite of appearances.
Copy !req
639. And their money will be secured
by the barber shop.
Copy !req
640. A rock.
A rock, the barber shop.
Copy !req
641. Mr. Raffo.
Copy !req
642. Yes, sir?
Copy !req
643. Could you come with me,
please?
Copy !req
644. Sure.
Can Ed come too?
Copy !req
645. Mister...
Copy !req
646. Crane.
Ed Crane.
Copy !req
647. You also have an interest
in the securing porperty?
Copy !req
648. He's a barber.
Copy !req
649. - Second chair.
- Not an owner.
Copy !req
650. No, he's, uh, family.
He's my brother-in-law.
Copy !req
651. It would be best
if he waited here.
Copy !req
652. The barber shop.
Copy !req
653. Doris and Frank's father had worked
30 years to own it free and clear.
Copy !req
654. Now it got signed over to the bank,
and the bank signed some over to Frank.
Copy !req
655. And Frank signed the money
to Freddy Riedenschneider.
Copy !req
656. Who got into town
two days later...
Copy !req
657. And told me to meet him
at Da Vinci's for lunch.
Copy !req
658. Not fried, poached.
Three of 'em for two minutes.
Copy !req
659. Strip steak, medium rare,
flapjacks, potatoes, tomato juice...
Copy !req
660. And plenty of hot coffee.
Copy !req
661. - You have any Prairie Oysters?
- No, sir.
Copy !req
662. Then bring me a fruit cocktail
while I wait.
Copy !req
663. - You're Crane?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
664. Barber, right?
Copy !req
665. I'm Freddy Riedenschneider.
Hungry?
Copy !req
666. Uh, not really.
Copy !req
667. They tell me the chow's okay here.
I made some inquiries.
Copy !req
668. Look, I don't want to waste your time,
so I'll eat while we talk.
Copy !req
669. Do you mind?
You don't mind.
Copy !req
670. While I'm in town
I'm staying at the Hotel Metropole.
Copy !req
671. Turandot Suite. Yeah, it's goofy.
They named their suites after operas.
Copy !req
672. Room's okay, though.
I poked around.
Copy !req
673. I'm having 'em hold it for me.
I'll be back and forth.
Copy !req
674. So, in addition to my retainer,
you're paying hotel,
Copy !req
675. Living expenses, secretarial,
Copy !req
676. Private eye, if we need to make inquiries,
head shrinker, should we go that way.
Copy !req
677. We'll talk about appeals
if, as and when.
Copy !req
678. - For now, has she confessed?
- No, of course not. She didn't do it.
Copy !req
679. Good. That helps. Not that she didn't do it
That she didn't confess.
Copy !req
680. Course, There's ways to deal with a confession,
but that's one less thing to think about.
Copy !req
681. Now, interview. I'm seeing her tomorrow.
You sholud be there 3:00.
Copy !req
682. One more thing.
you keep your mouth shut.
Copy !req
683. I get the lay of the land,
I tell you what to say.
Copy !req
684. No talking out of school.
What's out of school?
Everything's out of school.
Copy !req
685. I do the talking.
You keep your trap shut.
Copy !req
686. I'm an attorney. You're a barber.
You don't know anything.
Copy !req
687. Okay.
Copy !req
688. Good. Any questions,
give me a ring.
Copy !req
689. Turandot suite.
If I'm out, leave a message.
Copy !req
690. Sure you don't want anything?
No? Okay.
Copy !req
691. You're okay, pal.
Copy !req
692. You're okay, she's okay,
everything's gonna be hunky...
Copy !req
693. And the...
and the flapjacks, honey.
Copy !req
694. There they were,
Copy !req
695. All going about their business.
Copy !req
696. It seem like I knew a secret,
Copy !req
697. A bigger one, even,
than what had really happened to Big Dave,
Copy !req
698. Something none of them knew.
Copy !req
699. Like I had made it to the outside somehow,
Copy !req
700. And they were all still struggling
way down below.
Copy !req
701. Ann.
Copy !req
702. Hello, Ed.
Copy !req
703. Would you like to come in, Ann?
Copy !req
704. No. No, it's very late.
Copy !req
705. I'm so sorry about your loss.
Copy !req
706. Course you know that Doris
had nothing to do with it.
Copy !req
707. Nothing at all.
Copy !req
708. I know.
Copy !req
709. Don't worry, Ed.
Copy !req
710. I came to tell you...
Copy !req
711. And you should tell Doris...
Copy !req
712. Yeah?
Copy !req
713. You know how Big Dave loved camping
and the out of doors?
Copy !req
714. Yeah.
Copy !req
715. We went camping last summer
in Eugene, Oregon.
Copy !req
716. Outside Eugene, Ed.
Copy !req
717. Yeah?
Copy !req
718. At night there were lights.
We both saw them.
Copy !req
719. We never told anyone
outside of our official report,
Copy !req
720. Our report to the government.
Copy !req
721. There was a spacecraft.
Copy !req
722. I saw the creatures.
Copy !req
723. They led Big Dave onto the craft.
Copy !req
724. He never told anyone
what they did.
Copy !req
725. Ann, would you like to...
Copy !req
726. I cannot repeat it to you,
but this thing goes deep, Ed.
Copy !req
727. It goes deep
and involves the government.
Copy !req
728. This was not your wife.
There's a great deal of fear.
Copy !req
729. You know how certain circles
would-would find it,
Copy !req
730. The knowledge, a threat.
Copy !req
731. They-they try to limit it, and...
Copy !req
732. Ann, would you like to come in,
Copy !req
733. Sit down?
Copy !req
734. Maybe have a drink.
Copy !req
735. Sometimes knowledge
is a curse, Ed.
Copy !req
736. After this happened,
Copy !req
737. Things changed.
Copy !req
738. Big Dave...
Copy !req
739. He never touched me again.
Copy !req
740. Tell Doris not to worry.
Copy !req
741. I know it wasn't her.
Copy !req
742. Perhaps this will
bring it out
Copy !req
743. Finally.
Copy !req
744. Perhaps now
it will all come out.
Copy !req
745. It stinks.
Copy !req
746. But it's true.
Copy !req
747. I don't care it's true, it's not true.
It stinks.
Copy !req
748. You say he was being blackmailed?
By who? You don't know.
Copy !req
749. For having an affair.
With who? You don't know.
Copy !req
750. Did anyone else know about it?
Probably not. You don't know.
Copy !req
751. I knew about it.
Copy !req
752. Big Dave told me about it...
Copy !req
753. And the spot he was putting himself in
by getting the money.
Copy !req
754. Terrific! Your husband backs you up.
That's terrific.
Copy !req
755. And you gotta give me
something to work with.
Copy !req
756. Freddy Riedenschneider is good,
but he's not a magician.
Copy !req
757. He can't just wave his little wand in the air
to make a plausible defense materialize.
Copy !req
758. Look at what the other side
is gonna run at us.
Copy !req
759. They got the company books
prepared by you,
Copy !req
760. Cooked by you.
That's motive.
Copy !req
761. They got a murder scene you had access to.
That's opportunity.
Copy !req
762. They got that little trimmer thing he was
stabbed in the throat with.
Copy !req
763. - A dame's weapon.
- It was Big Dave's.
Copy !req
764. Don't interrupt me.
That's means.
Copy !req
765. They got a fine, upstanding pillar
of the business community as a victim,
Copy !req
766. And then they got you,
Copy !req
767. A disgruntled, number-juggling underling,
Copy !req
768. Who on the day in question
was drunk as a skunk...
Copy !req
769. And whose alibi for the time in question
is being passed out at home, alone.
Copy !req
770. I was with her.
Copy !req
771. Like I say,
Copy !req
772. It stinks.
Copy !req
773. I killed him.
Copy !req
774. Okay. You killed him.
Copy !req
775. Okay, we forget the blackmail thing.
You killed him.
Copy !req
776. How come?
Copy !req
777. He and Doris, uh,
were having an affair.
Copy !req
778. Okay.
Copy !req
779. How did you know?
Copy !req
780. I just knew.
Copy !req
781. A husband knows.
Copy !req
782. Will anyone else say they knew?
Copy !req
783. And don't say your wife.
Copy !req
784. I don't know.
Copy !req
785. I don't think so.
Copy !req
786. How did you get into the store?
Copy !req
787. I took Doris's keys.
Copy !req
788. Will anyone say they saw you there,
on your way there, in there, on your way back?
Copy !req
789. I don't think so.
Copy !req
790. Will anyone corroborate any goddamn part
of your story at all?
Copy !req
791. Oh, come on! People,
you can't help each other like that.
Copy !req
792. Let's be realistic, now.
Copy !req
793. Let's look at our options.
Well, frankly, I don't see any options.
Copy !req
794. Look, I cannot present story "A."
I cannot present
Copy !req
795. story "B."
Copy !req
796. I could plead you for a nutcase,
but you look too composed.
Copy !req
797. I could offer a guilty plea,
and in return they don't give you the juice,
Copy !req
798. But I don't think you want to spend
the rest of your life in chino.
Copy !req
799. I know you didn't hire Freddy Riedenschneider
Copy !req
800. To hold your hand at a sentencing hearing.
Copy !req
801. You could have gotten
Lloyd Garroway for that.
Copy !req
802. No, no, no, no.
We're not giving up yet.
Copy !req
803. You hired Freddy Riedenschneider,
It means you're not throwing in the towel.
Copy !req
804. I litigate.
Copy !req
805. I don't capitulate.
Copy !req
806. All right. No options?
We gotta think.
Copy !req
807. All right. We go back
to the blackmail thing. Yeah, it titillates.
Copy !req
808. It's open-ended,
and it makes him the bad guy.
Copy !req
809. You dig around, you never know.
Something unsavory from his past.
Copy !req
810. He approaches you to help him with the money,
his past comes back to haunt him. Who's to say?
Copy !req
811. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Forget the jealous husband thing. That's just silly.
Copy !req
812. We're going with the blackmail.
I'll be in touch.
Copy !req
813. I'm comin' out!
Copy !req
814. Of course there was one person
who could confirm Doris's story,
Copy !req
815. Or plenty of it.
Copy !req
816. The dry-cleaning pansy.
Copy !req
817. But he'd left the hotel,
skipped out on his bill.
Copy !req
818. He'd also disappeared
from the residence he gave me,
Copy !req
819. Owing two months'rent.
Copy !req
820. How could I have been so stupid?
Copy !req
821. Handing over $10,000
for a piece of paper.
Copy !req
822. And the man gone,
like a ghost.
Copy !req
823. Disappeared into thin air
vaporized like the nips at Nagasaki.
Copy !req
824. Gone now.
Copy !req
825. All gone.
Copy !req
826. The money gone,
Big Dave gone,
Copy !req
827. Doris going.
Copy !req
828. How could I have been so stupid?
Copy !req
829. Sooner or later,
everyone needs a haircut.
Copy !req
830. We were working for the bank now.
Copy !req
831. We kept cutting the hair,
trying to stay afloat,
Copy !req
832. Make the payments,
tread the water day by day,
Copy !req
833. Day by day.
Copy !req
834. Most people think someone's
accused of a crime,
Copy !req
835. They haul 'em in and bring 'em to trial,
But it's not like that.
Copy !req
836. It's not that fast.
Copy !req
837. The wheels of justice turn slow.
Copy !req
838. They have the arraignment,
then the indictment,
Copy !req
839. And they entertain motions to dismiss
and postpone and change the venue...
Copy !req
840. And alter this and that
and the other.
Copy !req
841. They impanel a jury,
which bring more motions.
Copy !req
842. Then they set a trial date,
and then they change the date.
Copy !req
843. And then, often as not,
they'll change it again.
Copy !req
844. Not guilty, your honor.
Copy !req
845. And through all of it,
we cut the hair.
Copy !req
846. Meantime, Freddy Riedenschneider
slept at the Metropole...
Copy !req
847. And shoveled it in
at Da Vinci's.
Copy !req
848. He'd brought in a private investigator
from Sacramento...
Copy !req
849. To nose around
into Big Dave's past.
Copy !req
850. I found myself, more and more,
going over to the Abundas's.
Copy !req
851. It was a routine we fell into
most every evening.
Copy !req
852. I even went when Walter was away
on his research trips.
Copy !req
853. He was a genealogist,
Copy !req
854. Had traced back his side of the family
seven generations,
Copy !req
855. His late wife's eight.
Copy !req
856. It seemed like a screwy hobby,
Copy !req
857. But then maybe all hobbies are.
Copy !req
858. Maybe Walter found something there
in the old county courthouses,
Copy !req
859. Hospital file rooms,
Copy !req
860. City archives, property rolls,
Copy !req
861. Registries.
Copy !req
862. Something maybe like what I found
listening to Birdy play.
Copy !req
863. Some kind of escape.
Copy !req
864. Some kind of peace.
Copy !req
865. They got this guy in Germany.
Copy !req
866. Fritz something or other.
Copy !req
867. Or is it...
Maybe it's Werner.
Copy !req
868. Anyway...
He's got this theory.
Copy !req
869. You want to test something,
you know, scientifically...
Copy !req
870. How the planet
go 'round the sun,
Copy !req
871. What sunspots are made of,
Copy !req
872. Why the water
comes out of the tap...
Copy !req
873. Well, you gotta look at it.
Copy !req
874. But sometimes
you look at it...
Copy !req
875. Your looking changes it.
Copy !req
876. You can't know the reality
of what happened,
Copy !req
877. Or what would have happened,
Copy !req
878. If you hadn't stuck in
your own goddamn schnozz.
Copy !req
879. So there is no
"What happened."
Copy !req
880. Looking at something...
Copy !req
881. Changes it.
Copy !req
882. They call it
the uncertainty principle.
Copy !req
883. Sure, it sound screwy,
but even Einstein says
the guy's onto something.
Copy !req
884. Science.
Copy !req
885. Perception.
Copy !req
886. Reality.
Copy !req
887. Doubt.
Copy !req
888. Reasonable... doubt.
Copy !req
889. I'm saying that sometimes
the more you look,
Copy !req
890. the less you really know.
Copy !req
891. It's a fact, a proved fact.
Copy !req
892. In... In a way,
Copy !req
893. It's the only fact there is.
Copy !req
894. This Heinie even
wrote it out in numbers.
Copy !req
895. Burns?
Copy !req
896. David Allen Brewster,
Copy !req
897. Born Brooklyn, 1911.
Copy !req
898. Subject educated public schools.
One year case western university.
Copy !req
899. Flunks out.
Copy !req
900. 1931, Retail appliance salesman
in Barnhoff's department store, Cincinnati.
Copy !req
901. 1933, Meets Ann Nirdlinger.
They marry that year.
Copy !req
902. 1935, Arrested
on assault complaint.
Copy !req
903. Complainant has a broken nose,
couple of broken ribs.
Copy !req
904. '36, Another assault beef
at a bar room altercation.
Copy !req
905. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Couple of fistfights, right?
Go to his service record.
Copy !req
906. Inducted march 15, 1942.
Copy !req
907. Served in a clerical capacity
in the U.S. Naval shipyards at San Diego.
Copy !req
908. One fistfight,
broken up by the M.P.S.
Copy !req
909. No court-martial.
Honorable discharge, may 8, 1945.
Copy !req
910. - Since then, he's been clean.
- Thank you, Barns. Get lost.
Copy !req
911. So?
Copy !req
912. This could be your Dolly's
ticket out of the death house.
Copy !req
913. So!
Copy !req
914. I don't get it.
Copy !req
915. Look, chump.
Copy !req
916. This is a guy, from what I understand,
told everybody he was a war hero, right?
Copy !req
917. Island-hopping,
Copy !req
918. Practically liberated,
the pacific all by himself,
Copy !req
919. With a knife in one hand,
a gun in the other,
Copy !req
920. And 20 yards of jap guts
between his teeth.
Copy !req
921. and now it turns out this dope
spent the war sitting on his ass...
Copy !req
922. In some boat yard
in San Diego.
Copy !req
923. You asked for blackmail.
Copy !req
924. Mr. Hail-fellow-well-met,
about to open his own business here,
Copy !req
925. Has been lying to everybody in this town
for the last four years,
Copy !req
926. Probably including half the people
sitting on that jury.
Copy !req
927. Well, it finally caught up with him.
Copy !req
928. Somebody knew his dirty little secret,
just like your wife says.
Copy !req
929. They called,
they demanded money.
Copy !req
930. Did Big Dave say he'd recently
heard from an old friend?
Copy !req
931. Did Big Dave mention it was something
about his war service?
Copy !req
932. I don't know.
I wasn't there.
Copy !req
933. You have to tell us.
Copy !req
934. Maybe he specified,
maybe he didn't.
Copy !req
935. I'm not putting words
in your mouth, no.
Copy !req
936. But the point is that this liar,
this cynical manipulator,
Copy !req
937. Turns to you to help him
out of his jam.
Copy !req
938. Fat-assed son of a bitch.
Copy !req
939. - So who... who actually...
- Who?
Copy !req
940. Who?
Copy !req
941. I don't know who.
Copy !req
942. But the point is that
if Mr. Prosecutor over there...
Copy !req
943. Had devoted half the time
he's spent persecuting this woman...
Copy !req
944. To even the most cursory investigation
of this schmo's past,
Copy !req
945. Then we might know who.
Copy !req
946. But we can't know who.
We can't know what really happened.
Copy !req
947. Because the more you look,
the less you know.
Copy !req
948. But the beauty of it is...
Copy !req
949. We don't gotta know.
Copy !req
950. We just gotta show that,
god damn it, they don't know.
Copy !req
951. Because of Fritz, or Werner,
whatever the hell his name is.
Copy !req
952. Freddy Riedenschneider sees daylight.
Copy !req
953. We got a real shot at this, folks.
Let's not get cocky.
Copy !req
954. Comin' out!
Copy !req
955. Big Dave.
Copy !req
956. What a dope.
Copy !req
957. So maybe Riedenschneider
could fix it for Doris.
Copy !req
958. Maybe it would all work out.
Copy !req
959. And I thought,
Copy !req
960. I hoped,
Copy !req
961. That maybe there was a way out
for me as well.
Copy !req
962. He was deaf
when he wrote this.
Copy !req
963. Who?
Copy !req
964. Beethoven.
Copy !req
965. He created it, but he never
actually heard it.
Copy !req
966. I guess he just heard it all
in his head somehow.
Copy !req
967. The girl had talent.
Anyone could see that.
Copy !req
968. And she wasn't
some fly-by-nighter.
Copy !req
969. She was just a good, clean kid.
Copy !req
970. If she was going to have a career,
she'd need a responsible adult...
Looking out for her,
Copy !req
971. Some kind of manager.
Copy !req
972. She'd have contracts to look at,
be going out on tours,
Copy !req
973. Playing on the radio, maybe.
Copy !req
974. I could help her sort through all that without
charging her an arm and a leg.
Copy !req
975. Just enough to get by.
Copy !req
976. Then I could be with her,
Copy !req
977. Enough to keep myself
feeling okay.
Copy !req
978. Why couldn't that work?
Copy !req
979. Why not?
Copy !req
980. - Hi, Mr. Crane.
- Hello, Birdy.
Copy !req
981. I thought that was real good.
Copy !req
982. Yeah, I messed up a little bit
on the, um, on the agitato,
Copy !req
983. But if nobody noticed,
then it's okay.
Copy !req
984. Oh, this is, um,
a friend of mine.
Copy !req
985. Tony, um, Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
986. Hello, Tony.
Copy !req
987. Hello, sir.
Copy !req
988. Congratulations.
Copy !req
989. Think I'll be getting home now.
Copy !req
990. It was...
nice to meet you, sir.
Copy !req
991. You too, Tony.
Copy !req
992. Why couldn't it work?
Copy !req
993. Anyway, that's what I was thinking in the days
leading up to the trial.
Copy !req
994. It seemed like once that was over,
I'd be ready for a new start.
Copy !req
995. Freddy Riedenschneider
was busy preparing.
Copy !req
996. He was very optimistic.
Copy !req
997. And finally it came...
the first day of the trial,
Copy !req
998. What Riedenschneider called
'The big show. "
Copy !req
999. Where's the judge?
How come there's no judge?
Copy !req
1000. Where's the judge, Ed?
Copy !req
1001. Riedenschneider.
Copy !req
1002. How come the judge
doesn't come out?
Copy !req
1003. The judge comes in last.
He'll come in when Doris gets here.
Copy !req
1004. So where's Doris?
I thought we started at 10:00.
Copy !req
1005. Hey, Riedenschneider.
Where's Doris?
Copy !req
1006. She's late.
Copy !req
1007. Late?
How can she be late?
Copy !req
1008. She's in prison, Ed.
None of us are in prison.
Copy !req
1009. And yet we're not late.
We're on time, Ed.
Copy !req
1010. How can Doris be late?
Copy !req
1011. What, they don't have
wake-up calls?
Copy !req
1012. - All rise.
- No, no.
Copy !req
1013. Counselors.
Copy !req
1014. What's going on, Ed?
Copy !req
1015. I thought there
would be arguments,
Copy !req
1016. The bailiff and so forth.
Copy !req
1017. Ed, what is this?
Copy !req
1018. Is this procedure?
Copy !req
1019. In the matter of the people v. Doris Crane,
Copy !req
1020. Case number SR-87249,
Copy !req
1021. Cause now pending
is hereby dismissed...
Copy !req
1022. I don't understand it.
Copy !req
1023. Had a real shot at this.
I could've won this thing.
Copy !req
1024. Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
Copy !req
1025. Your service is no longer needed...
And you are now discharge.
Copy !req
1026. she's hanged herself.
Copy !req
1027. I'd brought her a dress to wear to court,
and she'd used the belt.
Copy !req
1028. At first I thought she'd figured out somehow
how I fit into it...
Copy !req
1029. And couldn't stand it,
couldn't stand knowing.
Copy !req
1030. But that wasn't it, I'd find out later.
Copy !req
1031. For now, everything
just seemed ruined.
Copy !req
1032. Freddy Riedenschneider
went back to Sacramento,
Copy !req
1033. Still shaking his head,
saying it was the biggest disappointment
Copy !req
1034. Of his professional career.
Copy !req
1035. Frankie fell to pieces.
Copy !req
1036. I suspect he was drinking.
Copy !req
1037. Anyway, he stopped
coming in to work.
Copy !req
1038. That left me to keep the place going,
or the bank would've taken it.
Copy !req
1039. I was the principal barber now.
Copy !req
1040. I hired a new man
for the second chair.
Copy !req
1041. I'd hired the guy who did the least gabbing
whie he came in for an interview,
Copy !req
1042. But I guess the new man had only kept quiet
because he was nervous.
Copy !req
1043. Once he had the job, he talked from the minute
I opened the shop in the morning...
Copy !req
1044. Until I locked up at night.
Copy !req
1045. For all I know, he talked to himself
on the way home.
Copy !req
1046. When I walked home, it seemed like everyone
avoided looking at me,
Copy !req
1047. As if I'd caught some disease.
Copy !req
1048. This thing with Doris,
nobody wanted to talk about it.
Copy !req
1049. It was like I was a ghost
walking down the street.
Copy !req
1050. And when I got home now,
Copy !req
1051. The place felt empty.
Copy !req
1052. I sat in the house,
Copy !req
1053. But there was nobody there.
Copy !req
1054. I was a ghost.
Copy !req
1055. I didn't see anyone.
Copy !req
1056. No one saw me.
Copy !req
1057. I was the barber.
Copy !req
1058. Some bacon and potatoes,
which are supposed to come with it.
Copy !req
1059. So I pay for it, and I
put the change in my pocket
without really looking...
Copy !req
1060. 'Cause, gosh,
who looks at the change
when you eat there every day?
Copy !req
1061. Two blocks later I look
at the change she gave me.
Golly, I'm two bits short.
Copy !req
1062. So I walk back over to Linton's,
find this gal, big argument.
Copy !req
1063. She doesn't even recall
the transaction.
Copy !req
1064. Doesn't recall the transaction.
No recollections.
Copy !req
1065. So I said, "Look, dear.
Go ahead. Look at the menu."
Copy !req
1066. If you're in before 6:00,
it's the whatchamacallit...
Copy !req
1067. - The early bird special.
- Yeah, the early riser.
Copy !req
1068. Crane?
Copy !req
1069. I'm Crane.
Copy !req
1070. My name's Diedrickson,
county medical examiner.
Copy !req
1071. Yeah?
Copy !req
1072. I just came by
for an informal chat.
Copy !req
1073. Why don't I
buy you a drink?
Copy !req
1074. Rye.
Copy !req
1075. Just coffee.
Copy !req
1076. You sure you don't want
something stiffer?
Copy !req
1077. Coffee it is.
Copy !req
1078. County M.E. does an autopsy
on anyone who dies in custody.
Copy !req
1079. I don't know
if you knew that.
Copy !req
1080. It's routine.
Copy !req
1081. Doesn't become a matter of public record
unless there's been foul play.
Copy !req
1082. However,
Copy !req
1083. I don't think I'm prohibited
from telling you this.
Copy !req
1084. Of course, I'm not
obliged to either.
Copy !req
1085. I just don't know.
Copy !req
1086. But if I were the man,
Copy !req
1087. I'd want to be told.
Copy !req
1088. Told what?
Copy !req
1089. I'm not here to add to your...
Copy !req
1090. Thanks.
Copy !req
1091. Your wife was pregnant.
Copy !req
1092. First trimester.
Copy !req
1093. There it is.
Copy !req
1094. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1095. Hell, I hope I've done
the right thing.
Copy !req
1096. My wife and I had not performed
the sex act in many years.
Copy !req
1097. Well,
Copy !req
1098. That's really none of my business.
Copy !req
1099. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1100. There it is.
Copy !req
1101. Good luck, Crane.
Copy !req
1102. Doris and I had never
really talked much.
Copy !req
1103. I don't think that's
a bad thing necessarily.
Copy !req
1104. But it is funny.
Now I wanted to talk.
Copy !req
1105. Now, with everyone gone,
Copy !req
1106. I was alone with secrets
I didn't want...
Copy !req
1107. And no one
to tell 'em to anyway.
Copy !req
1108. I went to see a woman who was supposed
to have powers in communicating...
Copy !req
1109. With those who had "Passed across",
as she called it.
Copy !req
1110. She said that people who had passed across
were picky about
Copy !req
1111. Who they'd communicate with.
Copy !req
1112. Not like most people
you run into on this side.
Copy !req
1113. So you needed a guide,
someone with a gift for talking to souls.
Copy !req
1114. Give me your hand.
Copy !req
1115. Well, first she told me that
my wife was in a peachful place,
Copy !req
1116. That our souls
were still connected,
Copy !req
1117. That she'd never
stopped loving me...
Copy !req
1118. Even though she'd done some things
she wasn't proud of.
Copy !req
1119. Man, she was reading me
like a book.
Copy !req
1120. She was a phony,
just another gabber.
Copy !req
1121. I was turning into
Ann Nirdlinger,
Copy !req
1122. Big Dave's wife
Copy !req
1123. I had to turn my back
on the old lady,
Copy !req
1124. On the veils, on the ghosts,
Copy !req
1125. On the dead,
Copy !req
1126. Before they all sucked me in.
Copy !req
1127. Ed?
Copy !req
1128. How are you holding up?
Copy !req
1129. Okay, Walter.
Thanks.
Copy !req
1130. I, uh... I was so damn sorry
to hear about your loss.
Copy !req
1131. A terrible thing.
It's just damn terrible.
Copy !req
1132. Uh, Birdy's upstairs.
I'm on long-distance, so...
Copy !req
1133. Sure, Walter.
Copy !req
1134. Hello, Birdy.
Copy !req
1135. Hi, Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
1136. We haven't seen you since...
Copy !req
1137. We've certainly missed you.
Copy !req
1138. Birdy, I've been doing
a lot of thinking.
Copy !req
1139. There are a lot of things
that haven't worked out for me.
Copy !req
1140. Life has dealt me some bum cards.
Copy !req
1141. Or maybe I just haven't played them right.
Copy !req
1142. Pop doesn't like people
smoking in here.
Copy !req
1143. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1144. Well, sometimes I have a cigarette
when he's away, but never when he's home.
Copy !req
1145. He can smell it a mile off.
Copy !req
1146. Well, sure.
It's his house.
Copy !req
1147. That's what he
keeps telling me.
Copy !req
1148. Anyway, my point is
you're young,
Copy !req
1149. A kid, really,
your whole life ahead of you.
Copy !req
1150. But it's not too soon
to start making opportunities for yourself...
Copy !req
1151. Before it all washes away.
Copy !req
1152. Yeah, I guess.
Pop says so too.
Copy !req
1153. You know, I work
pretty hard at school.
Copy !req
1154. That's swell.
Copy !req
1155. However, the music,
if you want to pursue it...
Copy !req
1156. The lessons from Mrs. Swan,
they'll only take you so far.
Copy !req
1157. There's this guy
in San Francisco.
Copy !req
1158. I've made inquiries.
Copy !req
1159. Everybody says
he's the best.
Copy !req
1160. Trained people who've gone on to big concert
careers in symphony orchestras, the works.
Copy !req
1161. His name is Jacques...
Copy !req
1162. Carcanogues.
Copy !req
1163. I'm not sure I'm pronouncing it right.
Anyway, he's a frenchman.
Copy !req
1164. - Oh, boy. A frenchman, huh?
- You've got talent.
Copy !req
1165. Anybody can see that.
And he's the best.
Copy !req
1166. If he sees a student
that he thinks has talent,
Copy !req
1167. He takes them on for next to nothing.
So you're a cinch to be accepted.
Copy !req
1168. I could cover the costs of the lessons.
Like I said, it's pretty modest.
Copy !req
1169. - Oh, Jeez, Mr. Crane.
- No, I have to do it.
Copy !req
1170. I can't stand by and watch
any more things go down the drain.
Copy !req
1171. You're young.
You don't understand.
Copy !req
1172. Well, Jeez, Mr. Crane.
I hadn't really thought about a career or stuff.
Copy !req
1173. Well, I know you haven't.
Copy !req
1174. Look, just go see him
as a favor to me.
Copy !req
1175. I talked to this guy.
Copy !req
1176. He loosened up a little bit
when I told him how talented you were.
Copy !req
1177. He's agreed to see you
this Saturday.
Copy !req
1178. He said, uh, maybe you're
a diamond in the rough.
Copy !req
1179. His words.
Copy !req
1180. Jeez, I don't know,
Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
1181. Just go see him
as a favor to me.
Copy !req
1182. You are the father?
Copy !req
1183. No, I'm her...
I'm a family friend.
Copy !req
1184. I am Carcanogues.
You will wait, my dear.
Copy !req
1185. I speak with you
on the phone, no?
Copy !req
1186. You have a special interest
in music?
Copy !req
1187. A music lover,
alors.
Copy !req
1188. Um, I don't pretend
to be an expert.
Copy !req
1189. How did she do?
Copy !req
1190. She seemed like
a very nice girl.
Copy !req
1191. She play, monsieur,
Copy !req
1192. Like a very nice girl.
Copy !req
1193. Stinks.
Copy !req
1194. Nice girl,
Copy !req
1195. However, stinks.
Copy !req
1196. Well, I don't understand.
Copy !req
1197. Is not so hard to understand.
Copy !req
1198. Her playing, uh,
very polite.
Copy !req
1199. Did she make mistakes?
Copy !req
1200. Mistake? No.
Copy !req
1201. It say "E-flat,"
she play E-flat.
Copy !req
1202. Ping, ping. She play
the right note always.
Copy !req
1203. Well, I don't understand.
No mistakes?
Copy !req
1204. Look, she's just a kid.
I thought you taught these kids to...
Copy !req
1205. No, no, no, monsieur.
That is what I cannot teach her, huh?
I cannot teach her to have the soul.
Copy !req
1206. Hmm, voyez, monsieur.
Look.
Copy !req
1207. To play the piano
is not about the fingers.
Copy !req
1208. We make with the fingers.
Copy !req
1209. But the music, monsieur,
she come from L'interieur, from inside, huh?
Copy !req
1210. The music,
Copy !req
1211. She starts here.
Copy !req
1212. she come out through here.
Copy !req
1213. Hmm?
Then perhaps,
Copy !req
1214. Perhaps,
Copy !req
1215. She can go here.
Copy !req
1216. Like I said,
I'm not an expert.
Copy !req
1217. So you can listen to me,
for I am expert.
Copy !req
1218. Voyez, monsieur.
This girl, nice girl.
Copy !req
1219. Very clever hands.
Nice girl.
Copy !req
1220. I think, uh,
perhaps some day...
Copy !req
1221. She can make
very good typist, huh?
Copy !req
1222. Voila.
Copy !req
1223. - I stank, didn't I?
- He didn't say that.
Copy !req
1224. No, but more or less.
Copy !req
1225. I'm no expert,
Copy !req
1226. But there must be a dozen teachers
better than this clown.
Copy !req
1227. - No, look, really...
- More qualified.
Copy !req
1228. Goddamn phony.
Copy !req
1229. Really, it's okay.
Copy !req
1230. I'm not interested in
playing music pofessionally.
Copy !req
1231. You know, I'm not sure
I want a career at all,
Copy !req
1232. And if I did, I'd probably
be a veterinarian.
Copy !req
1233. - Veterinarian.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1234. But I-I do appreciate
your interest.
Copy !req
1235. It was nothing.
Copy !req
1236. I wish I'd played better for you
'cause I know it would've made you real happy.
Copy !req
1237. You know what you are?
Copy !req
1238. What?
Copy !req
1239. You're an enthusiast.
Copy !req
1240. Yeah, maybe.
Copy !req
1241. You know, I really do appreciate
the interest you've taken.
Copy !req
1242. I just wanted to make you happy.
Copy !req
1243. No, it's really okay.
I wanna do it.
Copy !req
1244. - Birdy!
- No, it's okay, really.
Copy !req
1245. Mr. Crane, I wanna do it.
Mr. Crane!
Copy !req
1246. - Birdy, please don't do that!
- Mr. Crane, please!
Copy !req
1247. - Heavens to betsy, Birdy!
- Please, Mr. Crane.
Copy !req
1248. Time slow down
right before in accident,
Copy !req
1249. And I have time
to think about things.
Copy !req
1250. I thought about what an undertaker
had told me once.
Copy !req
1251. That your hair keeps growing
for a while, anyway,
Copy !req
1252. After you die.
Copy !req
1253. And then it stops.
Copy !req
1254. I thought,
"What keeps it growing?"
Copy !req
1255. Is it like a plant in soil?
Copy !req
1256. What goes out of the soil?
Copy !req
1257. The soul?
Copy !req
1258. And when does the hair
realize that it's gone?
Copy !req
1259. Hello!
Copy !req
1260. I noticed you still have
pea stone in your driveway.
Copy !req
1261. Of course you have to rejuvenate
that every couple of years, don't you?
When the pea stone thins out?
Copy !req
1262. Ha.
Where does it go, huh?
Copy !req
1263. Like the odd sock.
Copy !req
1264. 'Course, you know where it goes.
You probably pick pieces of it
off your lawn all the time,
Copy !req
1265. Churn it up with your lawn mover,
sweep it off your porch there.
Copy !req
1266. - Pain in the neck.
- Never bothered me.
Copy !req
1267. Well, have you ever
considered tar macadam?
Copy !req
1268. People think it's just for public works
or commercial purposes,
Copy !req
1269. But we have the technology now
to bring it to the homeowner,
Copy !req
1270. Individual consumer,
at very competitive prices.
Copy !req
1271. Mind if I show you the specifications?
Afternoon, Ma'am.
Copy !req
1272. What are you selling?
Copy !req
1273. Ma'am, I was just telling your husband here
about tar macadam.
Copy !req
1274. For your home driveway here.
Copy !req
1275. Here's the brochure.
It's the modern way to...
Copy !req
1276. Get lost.
Copy !req
1277. Jesus.
Copy !req
1278. Doris.
Copy !req
1279. Don't say anything.
I'm fine.
Copy !req
1280. Crane.
Copy !req
1281. Mr. Crane?
Copy !req
1282. Are you there?
Copy !req
1283. Are you awake?
Copy !req
1284. He's comin' around.
Copy !req
1285. Can you talk, sir?
These men have to talk to you.
Copy !req
1286. Are you awake? Sir?
Copy !req
1287. He's... he's awake.
Go ahead.
Copy !req
1288. Are you awake?
Copy !req
1289. Is he awake?
Copy !req
1290. Crane, as soon as you're conscious,
we have to tell you that...
Copy !req
1291. - Uh, is he conscious?
- His eyes are open.
Copy !req
1292. Uh, you're under arrest.
Copy !req
1293. Soon as the doctor lets us,
we gotta move you.
Copy !req
1294. Does he understand that?
We're supposed to tell him.
Are you conscious?
Copy !req
1295. - They'll take you to the prison hospital.
- Under arrest for murder.
Copy !req
1296. What?
What'd he say?
Copy !req
1297. Birdy. Uh, the girl.
No, the girl's okay.
Copy !req
1298. Broken clavicle.
Copy !req
1299. That's a collarbone, Crane.
It's broken.
Copy !req
1300. She's okay, though.
Copy !req
1301. So he understands, then,
he's under arrest for murder?
Copy !req
1302. - Big Dave.
- Huh?
Copy !req
1303. What?
What'd he say?
Copy !req
1304. He said okay.
Copy !req
1305. Is that what he said?
Copy !req
1306. You're under arrest for the murder
of Creighton Tolliver.
Copy !req
1307. You understad that?
Copy !req
1308. Does he understand?
Copy !req
1309. The pansy.
Copy !req
1310. A kid diving in a water holeoutside of town
had found his car.
Copy !req
1311. They winched it out...
Copy !req
1312. And found he'd been beaten,
just like Big Dave said.
Copy !req
1313. Beaten to death.
Copy !req
1314. Inside his briefcase
were the partnership papers I'd signed,
Copy !req
1315. Showing that I'd
given him ten grand.
Copy !req
1316. For the district attorney,
that made it fall into place.
Copy !req
1317. I'd gotten Doris
to steal the money.
Copy !req
1318. The pansy had gotten wise somehow,
so I had to kill him to cover my tracks.
Copy !req
1319. On the arraignment calendar,
Copy !req
1320. People v. Edward Crane.
Copy !req
1321. I was in a spot.
Copy !req
1322. You are charged
in a one-count complaint...
Copy !req
1323. I called in Freddy Riedenschneider
and signed the house over to him.
Copy !req
1324. He said he didn't ordinarily
work that cheap,
Copy !req
1325. But he figured he owed me something
since the last one hadn't played out.
Copy !req
1326. - How do you now plead?
- We plead not guilty, your honor.
Copy !req
1327. I tried to tell him the whole story,
but Riedenschneider stopped me.
Copy !req
1328. He said the story
made his head hurt.
Copy !req
1329. He didn't see any way of using it
without putting me on the hot seat...
Copy !req
1330. - For the murder of Big Dave.
- Trial date is set for Monday a week.
Copy !req
1331. He told me not to worry, though.
Said he'd think of something.
Copy !req
1332. They put me
on 24-hour death watch,
Copy !req
1333. So that I couldn't cheat justice
like they said my wife had done.
Copy !req
1334. But in front of the jury,
they had it that Doris was a saint.
Copy !req
1335. The whole plan had been mine.
Copy !req
1336. I was a svengali
who had forced Doris to join
Copy !req
1337. My criminal enterprise.
Copy !req
1338. On and on it went,
Copy !req
1339. How I'd used Doris,
then let her take the fall.
Copy !req
1340. That stuff smarted because some of it
was close to being true.
Copy !req
1341. And then it was
Riedenschneider's turn.
Copy !req
1342. Ladies and gentlemen, members of the jury,
citizens of Santa Rosa,
Copy !req
1343. We've just heard from the district attorney
a rather lurid description...
Copy !req
1344. Of a truly despicable man.
Copy !req
1345. I gotta hand it to him.
He tossed a lot of sand in their eyes,
Copy !req
1346. He talked about how
I'd lost my place in the universe,
Copy !req
1347. How I was too ordinary to be
the criminal mastermind...
Copy !req
1348. The D.A. made me out to be,
Copy !req
1349. How there was some greater scheme at work
that the state had yet to unravel.
Copy !req
1350. And he threw in some of the old truth stuff
he hadn't had the chance to trot out for Doris.
Copy !req
1351. May at first look at these lines
and see only the chaos
of a work of modern art.
Copy !req
1352. He told them to look at me,
look at me close.
Copy !req
1353. That the closer they looked,
the less sense it would all make.
Copy !req
1354. This human, this barber.
Copy !req
1355. That I wasn't the kind of guy
to kill a guy,
Copy !req
1356. That I was the barber,
for Christ's sake.
Copy !req
1357. I was just like them,
an ordinary man.
Copy !req
1358. Guilty of living in a world
that had no place for me, yeah.
Copy !req
1359. Guilty of wanting to be
a dry cleaner, sure.
Copy !req
1360. But not of murder.
Copy !req
1361. But most specifically,
this is a barber's dilemma.
Copy !req
1362. For he is modern man.
Copy !req
1363. He said I was modern man.
Copy !req
1364. He is your reflection.
Copy !req
1365. And if they voted to convict me,
Copy !req
1366. They'd be practically cinching the noose
around their own necks.
Copy !req
1367. He told them to look not at the facts,
but at the meaning of the facts.
Copy !req
1368. And then he said
the facts had no meaning.
Copy !req
1369. It was a pretty good speech
and even had me going,
Copy !req
1370. Until Frankie interrupted it.
Copy !req
1371. What kind of man are you?
Copy !req
1372. Move for a mistrial!
Your honor!
Copy !req
1373. What kind of man are you?
Copy !req
1374. Move for a mistrial.
Copy !req
1375. Well, he got his mistrial,
but the well had run dry.
Copy !req
1376. There was nothing left to mortgage.
Copy !req
1377. Riedenschneider went home,
and the court appointed Lloyd Garroway,
Copy !req
1378. Who threw me
on the mercy of the court.
Copy !req
1379. Your honor,
we plead guilty...
Copy !req
1380. With extenuating circumstances.
Copy !req
1381. It was my only chance,
he said.
Copy !req
1382. I guess that meant
I never had a chance.
Copy !req
1383. He wasn't buying any of that
modern man stuff, or the uncertainty stuff,
Copy !req
1384. Or any of the mercy stuff either.
Copy !req
1385. This man is a menace
to society.
Copy !req
1386. Nope, he was going
by the book,
Copy !req
1387. And the book said
I got the chair.
Copy !req
1388. He has forfeited the right
to his own life.
Copy !req
1389. So here I am,
Copy !req
1390. At first I didn't know
how I got here.
Copy !req
1391. I knew step by step,
of course,
Copy !req
1392. Which is what I've told you,
step by step.
Copy !req
1393. But I couldn't see any pattern.
Copy !req
1394. Now that I'm near the end,
Copy !req
1395. I'm glad that this men's magazine
paid me to tell my story.
Copy !req
1396. Writing it has helped me
sort it all out.
Copy !req
1397. They're paying me
flve cents a word,
Copy !req
1398. So you'll pardon me if sometimes I've told you
more than you wanted to know.
Copy !req
1399. But now all the disconnected
things seem to hook up.
Copy !req
1400. That's the funny thing
about going away,
Copy !req
1401. Knowing the date
you're going to die.
Copy !req
1402. And the men's magazine
wanted me to tell how that felt.
Copy !req
1403. Well, it's like pulling away
from the maze.
Copy !req
1404. While you're in the maze,
you go throught willy-nilly,
Copy !req
1405. Turning where you think
you have to turn,
Copy !req
1406. Banging into the dead ends,
Copy !req
1407. One thing after another.
Copy !req
1408. But you get
some distance on it,
Copy !req
1409. And all those twists
and turns...
Copy !req
1410. Why, they're the shape
of your life.
Copy !req
1411. It's hard to explain.
Copy !req
1412. But seeing it whole
gives you some peace.
Copy !req
1413. The men's magazine
also asked about remorse.
Copy !req
1414. Yeah, I guess I'm sorry
about the pain I caused other people.
Copy !req
1415. But I don't regret anything.
Copy !req
1416. Not a thing.
Copy !req
1417. I used to.
Copy !req
1418. I used to regret
being the barber.
Copy !req
1419. I don't know
where I'm being taken.
Copy !req
1420. I don't know what I'll find
beyond the earth and sky,
Copy !req
1421. But I'm not afraid to go.
Copy !req
1422. Maybe the things I don't understand
will be clearer there,
Copy !req
1423. Like when a fog blows away.
Copy !req
1424. Maybe Doris will be there.
Copy !req
1425. And maybe there
I can tell her...
Copy !req
1426. All those things...
Copy !req
1427. They don't have words for here.
Copy !req