The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)

1. Shouldn't be much farther

2. before we get to the cabin, Betty.

3. Gee, I like this mountain road.

4. Yes, this scenery

5. certainly is lovely to look at.

6. If you like scenery.

7. Uh, pull up here, why don't ya,

8. and I'll check the map.

9. Make sure we're not lost. Yeah.

10. Oh, seriously, Paul,

11. I do wish this was a vacation.

12. I really think you could use a break

13. from all this scientist work.

14. It's almost as if you've been doing

15. too much science.

16. Too much science? Is that possible?

17. Seriously, Betty.

18. You know what this meteor could mean to science.

19. If we find it, and it's real, it could mean a lot.

20. It could mean actual advances in the field of science.

21. Oh, I know.

22. I'm used to it, I guess.

23. You might say

24. I'm a scientist's wife.

25. There's a lot in what you say, Betty.

26. In many ways, it's hard to be

27. a scientist's wife, the wife of a scientist.

28. And yet in other ways, it's good.

29. Really good.

30. You always know the right thing to say,

31. Dr. Paul Armstrong.

32. There's a farmer up ahead there.

33. Why don't we pull up to him and ask him directions?

34. Excuse me.

35. Can you tell us the way to the old Taylor place?

36. Sure thing, mister. Stay on this road here.

37. Past Dead Man's Curve, you'll come to an old fence,

38. called the Devil's Fence.

39. From there go on foot till you come to a valley

40. known as the Cathedral of Lost Soap.

41. Smack in the center is what they call

42. Forgetful Milkman's Quadrangle.

43. Stay right on the Path of Staring Skulls,

44. and you come to a place called Death Clearing.

45. Cabin's right there. Can't miss it.

46. Boy, that doesn't sound too inviting.

47. Oh, well, lot of folks superstitious in these parts—

48. what with the legend of Cadavra Cave and all.

49. Next you'll be telling us there's monsters!

50. Quiet day.

51. I certainly hope someone needs

52. a forest ranger here sometime.

53. Hello.

54. I'm Dr. Roger Fleming

55. and I seem to have lost my way.

56. I'm Ranger Brad

57. and that's what I'm here for.

58. You can call me Ranger Brad. Most folks do.

59. Yes. Ranger Brad. Of course.

60. I like that.

61. You think you could tell me the way to Cadavra Cave?

62. Cadavra Cave? Why do you want to go there?

63. Ranger Brad,

64. do I tell you all your ranger business?

65. No, I guess not.

66. Keep going on this trail about a mile.

67. You can't miss it.

68. Thank you, Ranger Brad.

69. You've been very... helpful.

70. Anytime.

71. Oh, say,

72. you don't believe those old legends

73. about the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, do you?

74. Ha, Ranger Brad, I'm a scientist.

75. I don't believe in anything.

76. Nice fella.

77. Paul, is it much farther?

78. My legs are already starting to feel

79. like two heavy slow things.

80. Pretty soon, I won't feel like I have legs anymore.

81. They're already so tired.

82. Shouldn't be too much farther, Betty.

83. And then you can rest, and I... can do science.

84. What was that about being a scientist's wife?

85. Look. They got the right idea.

86. This looks like the cabin alright.

87. Looks okay from the outside.

88. But what's the inside like, I wonder.

89. I think the front's around here.

90. Oh, Paul, it's everything I dreamed it'd be.

91. Is it?

92. Gee, that's...

93. wonderful, honey.

94. What is it, darling?

95. Oh, I don't know.

96. As a scientist, I just wish I could appreciate

97. more things like cabins, bicycles...

98. I know.

99. You're too wrapped up in your work.

100. That's why you need to get away from this silly old meteor.

101. Get away from it?

102. I feel like I haven't even gotten near it yet.

103. This "silly old meteor," as you call it,

104. could be made of Atmosphereum.

105. Do you know what that could mean for mankind?

106. Hmm.

107. Oh... tell you what, Betty.

108. Once my meteor studying is done,

109. what say you and I take some time off,

110. take the boat out on the lake,

111. just the two of us.

112. Oh, Paul, do you really mean it?

113. Scientist's honor.

114. Oh...

115. Wait a minute!

116. We don't have a boat!

117. Oh, you!

118. I want you to know, if we did have a boat,

119. you'd be the first person I'd take out on it, kitten.

120. Oh!

121. Dinner was delicious, honey!

122. Keep cooking like that,

123. and I won't even be able to move,

124. let alone do science.

125. That'd suit me fine, Mr. Meteor.

126. Ouch! That hurt.

127. Tomorrow what say you and I go searching

128. for our rocky, glowing, radioactive friend

129. from space... together.

130. Paul Armstrong, I do believe there's hope for you yet.

131. Shake on it?

132. Why shake, when we can touch other things...

133. like lips?

134. Oh, Paul! Could that be your meteor?

135. My meteor's already landed, honey.

136. That would be scientifically impossible.

137. Right. Who ever heard of a meteor going back to space?

138. That must be another meteor altogether.

139. Hmm. I wonder.

140. Hm. I also wonder.

141. Now, see here.

142. What's got my cows all fired-riled?

143. It's okay, Bossy, I'm here now.

144. There, there, Bossy. There, there.

145. No! No! You're not Bossy! You're not... Bossy!

146. Well, time to find a meteor.

147. Looks like a perfect day

148. for hunting space rocks, wouldn't you say, Betty?

149. Oh, Paul, I'm frightened.

150. W—What is it, darling? What's the matter, tell me.

151. I don't know.

152. Nothing I can... put my finger on.

153. Not something I can see or touch or feel,

154. but something I can't quite see or touch or feel,

155. or put my finger on.

156. Oh, well. Shall we find that meteor?

157. Yes, of course.

158. According to my map, Cadavra Cave

159. should be around here somewhere!

160. Oh!

161. Any "readings," as you call them?

162. Nothing yet, Betty.

163. According to my scientific calculations,

164. the meteor must have crashed right around here.

165. And that machine or whatever it is, will tell you where?

166. Yes, Betty. It's specially tuned to detect Atmosphereum,

167. which is what I'm convinced the meteor is made of.

168. Incredible.

169. Well, either you're getting a reading,

170. or that's my teeth chattering.

171. We've picked up something that's not teeth.

172. Hm, that's strange.

173. Why, I hope it doesn't mean one of us

174. ate Atmosphereum for breakfast.

175. No, this is serious, Betty!

176. The readings are getting stronger, only we're not moving.

177. But something else is moving, and it's moving right for us!

178. Oh!

179. Whatever it is, it's gone now.

180. You all right? I—I think so.

181. Whatever was watching us, seemed... pretty big.

182. Worse than that, Betty.

183. Whatever it was, it's lousy with Atmosphereum.

184. This is it. This has to be it.

185. Cadavra Cave!

186. It's you, isn't it?

187. It's really you.

188. At last, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra!

189. And this little find, this, pile of old bones,

190. as some would call it,

191. will make me, Dr. Roger Fleming,

192. the most powerful man in the world!

193. It is safe, she who is my wife.

194. You may come out now.

195. Are you certain, Kro-bar, my husband?

196. This world is strange to us, even different.

197. Yes, it is different, this "Earth" as it is called.

198. But then are we of the planet Marva, as we call our planet,

199. not also strange and different to this planet

200. and its people, also?

201. You think the Earth people think we are strange,

202. you think?

203. It is strange how the ways of different people,

204. on different planets differ, is it not?

205. Marva. Earth.

206. Marva. Earth.

207. I see what you mean.

208. Oh, well. Come. Let us ready the preparations.

209. I will get the things that we need to repair our ship

210. which is broken,

211. in the crash on this alien planet that we had.

212. You know, it's funny.

213. But in a strange way, I could feel almost at home here.

214. Oh, well.

215. Kro-bar! Kro-bar!

216. The Mutant! It's gone!

217. Well, how can this be?

218. Was not the mutant cage sealed?

219. Oh, yes, I swear it was, my husband!

220. And the mutant lock was secured.

221. Oh! Maybe the special bars on the mutant cage,

222. got bent in the crash.

223. Oh, this is fine! Fine!

224. Now, we must not only repair our ship,

225. we must find our mutant,

226. which we were to return to our planet, Marva.

227. Or who knows how many untold millions will die by its hand.

228. If only it did have hands, my woman.

229. If only it did have hands.

230. Oh, why isn't it working?

231. Why are you not coming to life, my skeleton? Why?

232. Have, have I wronged you in some way?

233. You're—you're against me, aren't you?

234. Of course you are.

235. All skeletons are against me. They always have been!

236. Even when I was a child, I was hated by skeletons.

237. Stop your blubbering, mortal fool.

238. Who—who is it?

239. Who are you? Show yourself!

240. Who do you think it is, idiot?

241. It is I, the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

242. Then—then you are alive!

243. That is how stupid you are.

244. Only my skeleton brain lives.

245. The rest of me is still just lifeless bone.

246. But there is a way to bring me completely back to life.

247. What is it?

248. You have but to say it, oh, skeleton, and I will do it.

249. There is a radioactive element known as Atmosphereum.

250. You must find this and bring it to me.

251. I—I will.

252. I'll find Atmosphereum, and bring it to you!

253. That's what I just suggested.

254. When I am brought back to life,

255. together, you and I, will rule the world together.

256. But—but how?

257. How will I find it?

258. That is for you to know.

259. That's not my problem. I sleep now.

260. No, no! T—tell me where it is!

261. Skeleton? Skeleton!

262. Where? Where can I find this Atmosphereum?

263. That's it, Paul! You've found it!

264. Yes, Betty. This meteor will be

265. the world's greatest source of Atmosphereum.

266. Look at it glow.

267. It's almost... lulling in a way.

268. Oh.

269. Careful, Betty, don't fall in love with that stuff.

270. That Atmosphereum can do some mighty powerful things.

271. Can I believe the luck?

272. Atmosphereum under my very nose!

273. If it were a woman, it could kiss me.

274. Hold on, my skeleton.

275. For soon you shall have life.

276. Sweet life.

277. Is it so hopeless, my Kro-bar?

278. Lattis, I fear our power source,

279. the power that runs this ship is gone.

280. Without it, I fear we have no hope of ever seeing Marva,

281. our planet, again.

282. Then we must find the power source.

283. Yes. We must hope that this planet, this Earth,

284. contains that rarest of all radioactive elements.

285. Atmosphereum.

286. Oh well. Meantime, I will hunt for the mutant,

287. with this Transmutatron.

288. I only hope it didn't kill already,

289. while it roamed last night.

290. Leave me now.

291. Our mutant must be around here somewhere.

292. When I find it, our Transmutatron will change it

293. into a creature that is more harmless.

294. Oh! That might be the mutant now.

295. With this Atmosphereum, Betty, mankind can benefit

296. in many ways, many of them good.

297. I know.

298. Kro-bar! Kro-bar!

299. What is it, my woman?

300. You need not yell, because of my proximity.

301. I yell not from the volume required by great distance,

302. but from happy excitement.

303. Two Earth people—

304. There are many Earth people, my wife.

305. Pray, speak more specifically.

306. What is special about these two that warrants my interest?

307. Surely nothing.

308. Because, these two, as you call them,

309. have Atmosphereum.

310. I hope the owners don't mind their good dishes holding

311. a radioactive meteor.

312. Don't eat the meteor by mistake, whatever you do.

313. Seriously, we'll clean the dishes before we go.

314. Oh, Paul, it's so exciting.

315. I know.

316. I've got to get that meteor.

317. But how? How!

318. There must be a way inside that cabin.

319. Think! Think!

320. Cabin...

321. cabin...

322. cabin!

323. What's that?

324. Good work, Lattis.

325. The Human Whereabouter led us right to where the humans are.

326. Evidently, these beings like primitive,

327. almost rustic structures.

328. How foolish they are.

329. Aliens.

330. From outer space.

331. Careful, my love.

332. For we must seem to like such things now,

333. like this foolish structure, and all things human.

334. I catch on, my Kro-bar.

335. Almost as if we were... pretending.

336. "Pretending." I like the way you put things, my queen.

337. Mysterious,

338. and yet still perfectly understandable.

339. Oh, well. We waste time on amusement.

340. On with the pretending.

341. Thanks to the Transmutatron,

342. we will look exactly like the human beings.

343. How strange these beings be.

344. This neck restrainer is most uncomfortable.

345. What function must it serve?

346. I don't know, my husband.

347. I am strangely drawn to this inverted cloth funnel,

348. and its wonderful softness.

349. Careful, Lattis. You may grow to like being human.

350. My husband would joke with me. Come. Go.

351. The Atmosphereum awaits.

352. We cannot take the Transmutatron in with us.

353. It would be difficult to explain.

354. We'll leave it out here in case the mutant comes,

355. so we can render it harmless.

356. What are they, Kro-bar?

357. A series of small buildings, leading up to the main one.

358. And what are we to do?

359. Step on them, until we are high enough to enter.

360. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

361. Well, darling, have you made science history yet?

362. If you keep distracting me,

363. I'll never change the course of mankind.

364. Well, maybe we can do that without Atmosphereum.

365. Who can that be?

366. Someone who's an interrupter.

367. This appears to be an entrance of some sort.

368. Then, why isn't it opening, my love?

369. Oh, I'm scared!

370. This is insane!

371. This makes no sense, I tell you!

372. Oh, w—w—why is this happening?

373. Why is this happening!

374. Calm! Calm, Lattis!

375. There must be some explanation!

376. There has to be!

377. W—What's wrong? What's wrong?

378. Why doesn't this entrance open?

379. They'll know!

380. They'll know everything now!

381. Ohh!

382. W—W—W—What can we do!

383. What can we do to make this entrance open?

384. Hello. Hello.

385. There is a way in. I knew it!

386. Can we help you?

387. You... would help... us?

388. I—don't understand.

389. Oh! You must be the Taylors!

390. Of course!

391. Darling, these are the people that rented us the cabin.

392. They said they might stop up.

393. Oh, of course. How are you?

394. I'm Dr. Paul Armstrong. This is my wife, Betty.

395. Uh, we didn't catch your first names.

396. Our first names, are the names

397. that were given us first, obviously.

398. Well, what should we call you?

399. Oh, our Earth names.

400. I am uh, Tergasso, and this is—

401. I am Bammon.

402. Ah. Tergasso, Bammon. Won't you come in?

403. Yes, we have been desiring that.

404. Finally, we go in.

405. Won't you make yourselves comfortable?

406. I'm not sure.

407. How would one go about finding that out?

408. Please, please be seated.

409. Fold yourself in the middle.

410. Um, can we get you anything?

411. A drink perhaps?

412. Yes, liquid please.

413. A man who gets right to the point.

414. I like that.

415. How about four scotch and sodas?

416. Ahem.

417. My! That's a— a lovely dress, Tergasso.

418. Yes. Yes, I too thought this.

419. I—I almost felt it somehow.

420. That is what I told Kro-bar.

421. Who's Kro-bar?

422. Is he the designer?

423. Yes! Yes.

424. Kro-bar is the designer.

425. Well, you're going to have to tell me

426. where their store is.

427. My wife does not like to talk about a store.

428. We are just like you.

429. Really, I assure you.

430. Yes! I also appreciate your soft cloth funnel, Betty.

431. Four drinks, coming up.

432. Here's to one heck of a beautiful cabin.

433. Tergasso certainly was thirsty.

434. Who?

435. I'll seem suspicious if I come alone.

436. I know.

437. Those forest animals standing right there,

438. have given me an idea.

439. I watched the aliens work this thing.

440. Maybe, if I make myself a date, I won't seem so alone.

441. I never thought I'd have a date with an animal.

442. Relax, my pet. I am your friend.

443. More than a friend, I suppose, since I created you.

444. But I must give you a name.

445. To us, you and I, you shall be Animala.

446. I find that name appropriate, somehow.

447. But to the others, to those inferior to you and I,

448. you shall be... Pammy.

449. So, Ba—Ba—Bammon, what do you do?

450. Do? I can do anything.

451. I have no restrictions.

452. That's the spirit.

453. I'm the same way with science.

454. I like my dress so very much.

455. That's what I can do.

456. Uhm, this drink is very refreshing.

457. Thank you, Paul and Betty.

458. Oh, not at all.

459. I have an overwhelming desire to participate

460. in the purchasing of many cloth funnels.

461. Some I can't even spare the expense for.

462. Is that so very wrong?

463. Oh, shopping! Yes—no!

464. No, not at all!

465. Shopping isn't wrong at all.

466. Especially for a woman.

467. Sometimes, I wish it were. Right, Bammon?

468. I wouldn't know about that, Paul.

469. Shopping can be loads of fun.

470. With a little restraint, of course.

471. Gee, thanks, honey!

472. Obviously, there is much humor in what you say.

473. In Paul's line of work,

474. he can use a good laugh once in a while.

475. It can be so deadly boring sometimes.

476. Even I admit that.

477. Ah, well.

478. As long as everything is perfectly normal.

479. I certainly am a normal Earth woman.

480. Isn't that right, my little space comet?

481. Wooba wooba wooh! Wooba wooba wooh!

482. Stop that! My love.

483. My wife sometimes forgets she is not a space alien.

484. Won't you please be seated, my dear?

485. Rowr.

486. May I say you look lovely this evening?

487. Rowr.

488. In English, my dear.

489. Tha—thank you so very mich.

490. Would you care for a cocktail?

491. Yes, please.

492. No, no, no, no. Drink like I showed you.

493. Tip, tip, tip tip, tip, tip, tip.

494. Ah.

495. And again.

496. Tip, tip, tip tip, tip, tip, tip.

497. There.

498. Very well done, my dear.

499. Very well done, my dear.

500. Yes, I'm afraid I'm not at liberty

501. to discuss my work currently, Ban—Bannon—Bam—Bammon.

502. Oh, that is unfortunate, Paul.

503. I like work very much.

504. I'm very interested in it.

505. That's a very healthy attitude, Bam.

506. If more Americans thought like that,

507. a whole lot more work would sure get done.

508. Do you like to cook, Tergasso?

509. I—I don't really know.

510. I'll get it.

511. This is a day for visitors.

512. I wouldn't know, Paul.

513. Good evening. My name is Rudolph Yaber,

514. and this is my wife, Pammy Yaber.

515. Our car broke down and I fear, I'm afraid

516. we're dreadfully lost, I'm afraid.

517. Isn't that right, my dear?

518. Always agree.

519. Please, come in.

520. We've plenty of room here.

521. You're welcome to stay the night.

522. I'm Dr. Paul Armstrong and this is Bammon Taylor.

523. Hello! Ha, ha. I couldn't help overhearing.

524. I'm Betty Armstrong and, and this is Tergasso Taylor.

525. Hello.

526. Won't you join us for dinner?

527. My charming wife and I would be delighted.

528. Rowr.

529. Oop! Ha, ha.

530. Oh, thank you.

531. After the eating is done,

532. I must look for the Atmosphereum.

533. How do we know their eating customs?

534. Do exactly as they do, Lattis,

535. and we cannot fail to convince them.

536. Tip, tip, tip tip, tip, tip, tip.

537. Ah.

538. Tip, tip, tip tip, tip, tip, tip.

539. This meal looks quite delightful, Betty.

540. Oh, it's just something I threw together, that's all.

541. Well, shall we... dig in?

542. Everyone's so hungry.

543. I think somebody ate too fast.

544. Uh, no. No, my Pammy is very attuned to the ways of nature.

545. Well, she must have pretty good hearing.

546. Let's go see what it is.

547. Just the men go.

548. You ladies stay here.

549. Um, Bammon? Will you join us?

550. Unless there's something we should know about.

551. No. You know everything.

552. I will go also.

553. I hope it's nothing too dangerous.

554. Careful. It could be a mutant.

555. Sorry, folks.

556. I didn't mean to startle you.

557. I'm Ranger Brad.

558. Oh, thank goodness it's only a forest ranger, honey.

559. Hi, I'm Dr. Paul Armstrong.

560. The meteor specialist? Say, this is an honor.

561. Oh, hello, Dr. Fleming. I see we meet again.

562. Dr. Fleming?

563. Oh, just an old nickname of mine.

564. I'm really Rudolph Yaber

565. and this is my wife, Pammy.

566. She's lost her purse again.

567. We'll find it later, sweetheart. All right?

568. Crumbs.

569. Please, Ranger Brad, won't you have a seat?

570. I don't mind sitting, sometimes.

571. Now!

572. Say, I didn't know anyone

573. was staying at the old Taylor place.

574. Yes. We are.

575. Oh, and here's the Taylors right here.

576. The Taylors? I recall they were older folks.

577. We're a younger version.

578. Oh, say, I didn't know the Taylors had any kids.

579. That's swell.

580. Listen, I don't want to frighten you folks

581. but a farmer nearby was horribly mutilated.

582. And I thought I should tell other folks,

583. folks like yourselves, so that maybe, just maybe,

584. you wouldn't be horribly mutilated, too.

585. Well. I've certainly never been horribly mutilated,

586. but I don't want to start now, thank you.

587. Well, this certainly throws a damper on the evening.

588. Well, again, I didn't mean to throw a damper.

589. Believe me that's the last thing I'd like to throw.

590. I don't want to throw anything at all, really.

591. But when folks are horribly mutilated,

592. I feel it's my job to tell others.

593. We take our horrible mutilations seriously up in these parts.

594. I'm sure you do.

595. Honey, the ranger's just doing his job.

596. Of course he is.

597. I'm sorry, Ranger Brad.

598. I guess all this talk of horrible mutilation

599. has me on edge.

600. That's all right, Dr. Armstrong.

601. This horrible mutilation has a whole lot of people

602. on a whole lot of edges.

603. Well, if there's no more talk for us now,

604. I guess I'll be on my way.

605. I'll see you to the door.

606. Tell me, Ranger.

607. Any idea what might have caused this...

608. horrible mutilation,

609. as you call it?

610. Oh, probably nothing to worry about.

611. Could be a bear, I suppose.

612. Can a bear do that?

613. I mean, horribly mutilate?

614. Dr. Armstrong, in my time I guess I've seen bears

615. do some things that even a bear wouldn't do.

616. Well, good night.

617. Nice meeting you, Mrs. Yaber.

618. Mutilate, mutant. Hm, I wonder.

619. Oh, well.

620. Oh, well. Better get home.

621. Say, I must be crazy walking out in these woods,

622. alone at night with a horrible mutilation,

623. practically around the corner.

624. Oh, well.

625. Hoo! What a night!

626. Glad I don't believe in things.

627. What's that?

628. W—This is crazy.

629. Things like this just don't happen.

630. Noises?

631. Noises in the woods?

632. Stay away! Stay away!

633. What's that? What's that?

634. No! No!

635. Ahh!

636. Goodness! What in heaven's name was that?

637. Sounded like an Earth scream.

638. It's too late.

639. There's nothing you can do for him now.

640. I might be just a test-tube tipping lab jockey,

641. who's looked at too many shiny rocks for far too long,

642. but something tells me you know more about this,

643. than you're letting on, Bammon.

644. No, Paul Armstrong.

645. I know only what my ears tell me,

646. and what my eyes see me.

647. Now, wait a second.

648. Surely, you don't believe those old legends,

649. about the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra?

650. Surely, those are old wives tales.

651. And believe me, I've known plenty of old wives.

652. Seriously, Bammon, is that what you're suggesting?

653. A living skeleton?

654. Did I say that?

655. Did I say anything about a skeleton?

656. No one mentioned a skeleton.

657. Why, we don't even know about skeletons.

658. My husband spoke not of skeletons,

659. but of another more different thing,

660. which he was speaking of.

661. Which he and I know, and you do not.

662. Animala... Animala...

663. Skeleton... Skeleton...

664. Animala...

665. You must find the Atmosphereum.

666. Stop it! Stop it!

667. W—What are you doing?

668. She can't help you!

669. You must find the Atmosphereum.

670. Amish terrarium. Must find Amish terrarium.

671. I—I don't understand.

672. Why does she need an Amish terrarium?

673. Don't the Amish live in open air, like us?

674. Of course, Betty, it's absurd.

675. Putting the Amish in glass cases would be inhumane.

676. Surely, Pammy doesn't realize what she's saying.

677. Obey me... Obey me or I'll—

678. You fool! You skinny, bony jackass!

679. Stop it or you'll spoil everything!

680. I will get the—

681. Amish terrarium, myself.

682. I cannot wait so long.

683. She—she will help me.

684. The housewifely one.

685. Hi, Betty.

686. It's I, the Skeleton.

687. Fetch the meteor, Betty.

688. Fetch the meteor.

689. The Betty one looks drowsy.

690. Now is the time to exert Marvan mind power on her.

691. Very well.

692. I must go to bed and make some coffee now.

693. Darling, what are you saying?

694. I don't think I understand.

695. How can you make coffee if you're in bed?

696. Bring the meteor to the Skeleton.

697. Bring the meteor to the Skeleton.

698. Bring the Atmosphereum to us.

699. Bring the Atmosphereum to Kro-bar and Lattis.

700. Bring the meteor to the Skeleton.

701. Bring the meteor to the Skeleton.

702. Bring the Atmosphereum to us.

703. Bring the Atmosphereum to Kro-bar and Lattis.

704. Bring the meteor to the Skeleton.

705. Bring the Atmosphereum to Kro-bar and Lattis.

706. I must make a skeleton meteor

707. using a crowbar, covered in lettuce.

708. Darling, please!

709. You're not making any sense.

710. Betty.

711. Betty, what are you doing?

712. What I should have done a long time ago, Paul.

713. What are you saying?

714. Leave her, Paul.

715. It's dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.

716. Sleepwalker? she hasn't even gone to bed yet, Rudolph. Betty!

717. Betty, you little fool!

718. Where are you bringing that to?

719. Betty! Betty!

720. Where—where am I?

721. What happened?

722. It's all right, Betty.

723. You were just doing some very stupid things.

724. It's all over now.

725. Don't move or try to do anything.

726. All right if I breathe?

727. Seriously Paul, what came over me?

728. I was hoping you could tell me.

729. It was... so strange.

730. All I know is I had an overwhelming desire

731. to take the meteor.

732. Hm. Anything else?

733. Just, vague things, strange.

734. A skull smiling at me.

735. Oh! And something alien.

736. Like another brain,

737. in my own head.

738. That doesn't make any sense.

739. Brains, head.

740. First of all, skulls don't smile, they're dead.

741. And it's more of a grin, really.

742. Believe me, I know.

743. As a scientist, I've looked plenty of skulls

744. in the socket in my time.

745. Not a pretty sight.

746. Oh, Paul, what can it mean?

747. I don't know.

748. But as a precaution, I'm putting that meteor

749. in a drawer where even you can't find it.

750. Oh, Paul I—

751. I'm sorry, Betty, but until you can explain to me

752. what you mean by... brains and head,

753. even you can't be trusted.

754. Not until you're yourself again, kitten.

755. The only one I want in that pretty little head

756. of yours is me.

757. Oh, Paul.

758. Now, never mind "Oh, Paul."

759. It's going to be all right. You'll see.

760. Oh, Paul.

761. Don't think I don't know who you are.

762. Pray, do not seek to tell us what we do and do not think.

763. You are different from the other humans.

764. More disgusting, I think.

765. If disgusting means smart and ambitious on your planet,

766. I would agree wholeheartedly.

767. I would hardly expect aliens such as yourselves

768. to have a full grasp of the English language.

769. Aliens? Us?

770. Is this one of your Earth jokes?

771. See? See?

772. Oh, you should not have said Earth jokes, my loved one.

773. Don't you see how that gave us away?

774. Very well, clever brain.

775. You have found us out.

776. What do you intend to do?

777. Do? Do?

778. Absolutely nothing.

779. Nothing?

780. It seems we are working to a similar purpose,

781. you and I.

782. And that purpose is... Atmosphereum.

783. So you know!

784. Yes, for you see, I also need this Atmosphereum

785. for my very own reasons.

786. Then surely there is enough for both of us.

787. That's what I am thinking.

788. We shall share the Atmosphereum.

789. If you help us, and we help you—

790. Why, of—of course!

791. We'll be helping each other.

792. Almost like an alliance.

793. You could say that.

794. As if we were actually working together.

795. Atmosphereum for me. Atmosphereum for you.

796. Some for you and some for us.

797. Each of us would have it.

798. We will... split it, I suppose your Earth slang would say.

799. Very good, Tergasso.

800. You learn our ways quickly.

801. This way, neither of us will lack for Atmosphereum.

802. Of course!

803. You two catch on quickly.

804. I can see I've chosen my partners wisely.

805. Yes. Yes, we would be partners, wouldn't we?

806. Partners who share?

807. Partners who share.

808. I like that.

809. I like the way aliens think.

810. You Earth fools are not so lacking in

811. the thinking-and-then-being- triumphant area also.

812. Not at all.

813. In fact, I would say you rather excel in it.

814. How do we get the meteor?

815. Well.

816. I see the brainy types are up bright and early this morning.

817. They say that's the best time to look at little glowing rocks.

818. Huh? What the—? Huh?

819. Oh, sorry, honey.

820. I guess I must have been really involved

821. in my scientific work there for a minute.

822. I guess that's what they mean when they say scientists

823. have rocks in their heads.

824. Ha, ha. It just so happens that thanks to science,

825. we're finally starting to understand Atmosphereum.

826. Did you know there's enough Atmosphereum in one teaspoon

827. to go to the moon and back six times?

828. Moon, teaspoons.

829. That's all gibberish to me, I'm afraid.

830. Just as long as I don't have to go back and forth

831. to the kitchen six times to tell you breakfast is ready.

832. Okay. Say, speaking of early risers,

833. where have our unexpected guests gotten off to?

834. They certainly are odd ducks.

835. You know, I don't know.

836. Something about, uh, hiking or exploring,

837. or something.

838. Oh, well.

839. Well, just as long as they don't hike too far

840. and fall off a cliff.

841. That would be a hike.

842. You said it.

843. Now.

844. Let's see what happens when I add water to it.

845. Good old fashioned H20, I call it.

846. Rowr.

847. Oh, hello, Pammy.

848. I didn't see you come in.

849. Now, how come you're not out hiking with the others?

850. I don't have answers, Paul. Paul.

851. Well, you've probably seen plenty of woods.

852. You seem like the outdoor type.

853. Always agree.

854. Uh, you can watch me experiment, if you want,

855. if you promise to be quiet.

856. Be quiet.

857. Well, I don't mean stop breathing,

858. but don't exactly do a big dance number, either.

859. Now, that's almost exactly the kind of thing

860. I was saying you shouldn't do.

861. Seriously, Pammy, I don't know if I can do science

862. with you dancing like that.

863. Please stop.

864. Quit it, Pammy. Quit it.

865. Don't make me bring my wife in here.

866. She can be a real—

867. Animala. Dance with Animala.

868. Rock dance. Do the rock dance.

869. All right, Mr. Shiny Rocks, breakfast!

870. Paul?

871. Hm, that's funny.

872. Paul!

873. Paul?

874. Now where could he have gone?

875. Not another meteor!

876. Paul?

877. Rock dance. Pauly do the rock dance.

878. Oh, yeah!

879. Paul?

880. Paul?

881. Paul?

882. Where are you, for goodness sakes?

883. Come, Animala. That's my pet.

884. Is she not special, this one?

885. She is truly special, this Earth woman.

886. Or should I say animal?

887. It's hard to decide.

888. Yes, it is.

889. Since she's made from forest animals.

890. She must teach me this dance.

891. But, later.

892. Now there is much to be done.

893. That's good, Animala, my pet.

894. Stop him right there.

895. Now, take the box and give it to me.

896. Excellent. Let the sharing begin.

897. The Mutant! It must have Betty!

898. No matter!

899. There are more important things to settle.

900. Now, Skeleton!

901. Freeze where you are, Lattis and Kro-bar!

902. Not moving very fast now, are you, my interplanetary friends?

903. So this is your idea of sharing!

904. It's not like Marvan sharing at all!

905. This must be Earth sharing!

906. You'll find much of Earth's sharing works this way.

907. It's really more like I'm sharing with myself!

908. If I could only reach you, we'd share pain.

909. Sorry, I'd love to stay.

910. But I have a skeleton to bring to life.

911. That would be me!

912. And I cannot spare the Atmosphereum.

913. Animala? Animala, come!

914. Come, Animala!

915. What are you doing?

916. Rowr.

917. Phew! Anyone get the number of the rocket that clobbered me?

918. Speaking of rockets!

919. Holy moly!

920. There's no time to explain now, Paul.

921. The mutant has Betty.

922. Please, get these ropes off me!

923. Take them off now!

924. There are no ropes.

925. My wife panics.

926. These ropes are mental.

927. I—I think it's a skeleton or something.

928. Aw, that's crazy.

929. Skeletons can't mentally hold anyone.

930. I sleep now.

931. Gee, I guess they can.

932. Now, for the love of Mike, would someone mind telling me

933. what the heck's going on around here?

934. The mutant's got Betty.

935. We're aliens.

936. Whoa, whoa. Slow down.

937. I'm a scientist and that was still fast.

938. We had a mutant.

939. It got loose. It has Betty.

940. Hey, hold on. One at a time.

941. I'm going to get whiplash here.

942. Now just suppose you start at the beginning, and,

943. and tell me what happened before I get one whopper of a headache.

944. We are from the planet Marva.

945. We crashed here.

946. Planet? Marva?

947. Look, you're going to have to do a lot better than that

948. if you want me to help you.

949. Just suppose you take a deep breath, relax,

950. and tell me all about it.

951. The universe is a very large place...

952. Soon, very soon, we will be

953. at Cadavra Cave, my love.

954. Then you will see, your eyes will behold

955. the wonder of the Skeleton.

956. The Skeleton...

957. And so you can well understand the need for urgency.

958. Phew! I certainly can.

959. No wonder you were excited.

960. But there's still one thing I can't quite understand.

961. And that's why you tried to take the meteor.

962. I'm certain as a scientist that there's enough Atmosphereum

963. to power your ship and still have enough left

964. for me to do science with.

965. You mean you would... share the Atmosphereum... with us?

966. Oh! Kro-bar!

967. There's water on my cheeks.

968. I have never felt it before.

969. Oh, what a strange and wondrous thing it is, surely.

970. I too am feeling this new sensation of Earth weeping.

971. Something very alien to Marva.

972. Oh, yes. We gave up weeping eons ago. Oh!

973. Kro-bar, maybe this is one advance even science

974. couldn't make for you.

975. The advance of emotional expression.

976. Though it isn't considered very manly.

977. There'll be time enough for weeping later.

978. Right now, your mate is—

979. Betty!

980. Skeleton? Hello, my Skeleton.

981. I've brought you back a present.

982. It's a rock. It glows.

983. Hello, Skeleton.

984. Who wakes the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra?

985. Oh, it's you.

986. The stupid one.

987. Oh, you'll like me better now.

988. A whole lot better.

989. Shut up!

990. Stop that giggling.

991. It makes me uncomfortable.

992. We have much work to be done.

993. Hello, Animala.

994. Rowr.

995. Oh. What happened to me?

996. Betty, Betty! It's, it's all right now.

997. It's, it's me, Paul.

998. Dr. Paul Armstrong, your husband.

999. Oh, Paul!

1000. There, there. It's all right now.

1001. You're among friends, now.

1002. Alien friends.

1003. Aliens?

1004. My God! Where am I?

1005. It's all right, Betty.

1006. You're just in a spaceship now.

1007. Yes, Betty. It's just like your house.

1008. Only it travels through space.

1009. Please, Betty, try and remember what happened.

1010. I know it's painful.

1011. Oh, it was, it was horrible.

1012. Horrible!

1013. Ah! Ah!

1014. Betty! Betty! It's all right now.

1015. Calm yourself.

1016. Please, Mrs. Armstrong.

1017. There are delicate instruments aboard.

1018. I—I remember.

1019. It came out of nowhere.

1020. It was huge! It had—

1021. It was so ugly!

1022. I—I must have fainted, and—

1023. The next thing I know, it was carrying me.

1024. Like I was a child.

1025. A small child.

1026. And it looked at me, with those eyes,

1027. those ugly eyes.

1028. And they looked deep into me.

1029. Deeper than any human ever has,

1030. with a kind of understanding,

1031. that frightened me to my very soul.

1032. Gosh, Betty.

1033. It almost sounds like you like the mutant.

1034. Like a mutant?

1035. Can anyone like a mutant?

1036. I wonder.

1037. The mutant is strange.

1038. We keep it merely as a pet to us.

1039. I have never looked in its eyes. Have you?

1040. No.

1041. Paul? What happened to you?

1042. I—I went looking.

1043. I—I—I don't know.

1044. All I remember was... Pammy.

1045. No, she's really Animala, part woman,

1046. part four different forest animals.

1047. And she can dance.

1048. Oh, how she can dance!

1049. Like I've never seen a woman dance before.

1050. Well, we've certainly had quite a morning, haven't we?

1051. We certainly have.

1052. Do it! Do it!

1053. Interesting, Paul, so you would be a meteorologist?

1054. Ha, ha. No, Kro-bar.

1055. Believe it or not, a meteorologist is

1056. actually another name for a weatherman.

1057. I study meteors, so I'm actually a meteographer.

1058. A lot of people don't know that.

1059. Hmph.

1060. Are you enjoying the cranberroids, Betty?

1061. You know, I am.

1062. And I can't get over how similar they are to something we have.

1063. Only we call them cranberries.

1064. Cranberries!

1065. Yes, it is interesting, the differences and similarities

1066. we have, is it not?

1067. Why, on our home planet, Marva, we have a custom of actually

1068. eating outside if weather is pleasant and acceptable.

1069. Why, we have that!

1070. We call it a picnic!

1071. "Picnic." How delightful.

1072. We call it cooty-lana.

1073. Cooty-lana. That's fun to say.

1074. Many things on Marva are fun to say, Paul.

1075. This space wine is delicious.

1076. Heavenly bouquet.

1077. Is it like our Earth wine, made out of grapes, Lattis?

1078. Grapes! Oh, surely no, Betty.

1079. Grapes on Marva are far too sacred to step on, on Marva.

1080. We make our wine from cherries, which we call linbooba.

1081. Cherry wine. What a delight!

1082. And, and do your people love to get intoxicated,

1083. as our people love to do?

1084. No, Betty, we gave up getting drunk eons of your years ago.

1085. You know, this talking that we're doing is very helpful

1086. in getting to know your people and mine.

1087. Why, as we observed you from afar,

1088. we thought of you as little more,

1089. than pleasant, entertaining monkeys.

1090. So dirty and foul.

1091. You have taught us a lot, Paul and Betty Armstrong.

1092. And you us.

1093. But there is one more thing we would be taught now.

1094. And that's how to get the Atmosphereum back.

1095. So that my planet might benefit,

1096. and your ship might return you home.

1097. You have a device, do you not?

1098. A... detector of Atmosphereum?

1099. The Atmosphereum detector! of course!

1100. And, unless I miss my guess,

1101. Kro-bar, alien being

1102. of the planet Marva, is about to suggest that

1103. we use that very device to track the meteor

1104. that Rudolph Yaber stole.

1105. Well.

1106. I didn't know you were all mind readers on the planet Earth.

1107. Remember, Paul.

1108. We may also come across the Mutant.

1109. As I told you, it is also rich in Atmosphereum.

1110. I know, Kro-bar.

1111. I'm hoping the radiation we find is on something

1112. that's not moving.

1113. Like a rock.

1114. Yes, indeed.

1115. Lattis, I just have to ask you.

1116. Yes, Betty?

1117. After meals on Marva, who cleans up?

1118. The men, or the women?

1119. Cleans up?

1120. Why, Betty, on Marva there is no cleaning up.

1121. Because there's never a mess.

1122. We gave up messes eons ago.

1123. Think of it!

1124. A world without messes, no ground-in dirt,

1125. no ugly grease stains, no—no burned pans,

1126. or hard to reach corners.

1127. Oh, Lattis, Marva sounds like such a wonderful place.

1128. Excellent.

1129. You have done well, my pigeons.

1130. Already I feel the life returning

1131. to my tired and aching bones.

1132. I can feel it!

1133. I'm sitting!

1134. I'm sitting up!

1135. Do you know how long it's been since I sat up?

1136. Pigeons.

1137. I'm yours to command, oh, Lost Skeleton of Cadavra!

1138. I have risen!

1139. Something's coming!

1140. The Mutant!

1141. Fire! Fire, Kro-bar!

1142. Make it something harmless!

1143. Something's wrong! I think it's jammed!

1144. I think dirt got into it!

1145. No, Paul! No, Paul!

1146. No! No!

1147. Paul! Paul! Oh!

1148. I—I wonder why it changed its mind?

1149. Oh, well. Paul!

1150. Paul, you crazy, stupid, wonderful man?

1151. Why did you do it?

1152. I—I don't know, Betty.

1153. I guess from now on, I should stick to science

1154. and leave battling alien mutants to the experts.

1155. I'm sorry about the Transmutatron,

1156. my Earth friend.

1157. I'll take a look at it and see if I can fix it in the shop,

1158. so that another of us doesn't almost die.

1159. You two better go back to the cabin so that Paul can rest.

1160. I think I have a bottle of Transmutatron cleaner

1161. in the ship.

1162. Come, Lattis.

1163. Kro-bar, be careful.

1164. I'm an alien, Paul. Remember?

1165. Look at it go.

1166. What a skeleton!

1167. Paul, please try and rest that scientific mind

1168. and body for once.

1169. Rest? How can I rest when the two best alien friends

1170. a guy ever had may be in danger.

1171. Paul, those two came over a thousand miles.

1172. Surely they can take care of a little problem

1173. like a Mutant.

1174. Besides, nothing's going to happen to Lattis.

1175. She promised to show me some space recipes.

1176. Oh, that reminds me.

1177. My tapioca!

1178. What orders do you have for us, my bony wonder?

1179. Shut up.

1180. Very well.

1181. Follow me.

1182. Climb down these rocks, like I do.

1183. Paul! Paul, you're not well enough.

1184. You hardly touched your pudding.

1185. If I'm wrong about my hunch, Betty,

1186. I'll buy you enough pudding to go to the moon and back!

1187. I sense Lattis and Kro-bar are in great danger.

1188. Oh!

1189. Say hello to your new master, the Skeleton.

1190. It may be dangerous, Betty. I wish you wouldn't tag along.

1191. I'm tagging, Paul! I'm tagging!

1192. Well, I can't stop a woman from tagging.

1193. No one ever has.

1194. Listen.

1195. It isn't possible!

1196. Dance! Dance!

1197. Meow.

1198. You can't make aliens dance!

1199. This is just wrong!

1200. You don't know what you're tampering with!

1201. And you don't know the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

1202. But you will. You will!

1203. Enough.

1204. Yes, my skull.

1205. Bring the female to me.

1206. It's horrible. Horrible!

1207. I can't watch this— this dancing!

1208. And I cannot not watch it.

1209. May God have mercy on us all.

1210. You!

1211. You shall become...

1212. the Bride of the Lost Skeleton!

1213. No!

1214. Fiend!

1215. What was that?

1216. Let the dancing resume.

1217. You swine!

1218. So, anyway—

1219. After Kro-bar is dead, Lattis will be free to marry

1220. the King of Cartilage himself!

1221. Betty, I've got an—

1222. I've got an idea.

1223. It means finding the mutant with the Transmutatron.

1224. But it also means danger.

1225. Real danger, kitten.

1226. Are you game?

1227. I can't force you.

1228. Well, if I wanted to have a safe life,

1229. I guess I wouldn't have married a man who studies rocks.

1230. And you know, the way I figure,

1231. if it's a way to stop

1232. my new alien best friend from becoming a widow,

1233. and married to a skeleton then,

1234. well just count me in, Mr. Scientist!

1235. That's my little meteorite.

1236. Come on!

1237. I guess we both have rocks in our heads.

1238. I think he's sleeping.

1239. How can you tell that, Roger?

1240. I don't know.

1241. Hey! Hey! Skeleton? Skeleton?

1242. Stop it! Stop it, I say!

1243. If he wakes, it'll be your fault!

1244. But it'll be you he yells at.

1245. It's always you.

1246. He hates you, Rawww-ger.

1247. Alright, Animala.

1248. Just go see to the wedding plans.

1249. Prepare the alien to be the Skeleton's bride.

1250. How do I that?

1251. Just do it!

1252. Woof.

1253. Hmm.

1254. Once this baby starts ticking, we're in business.

1255. Right. That's where I come in.

1256. It's your show then.

1257. Hopefully, I'll get a curtain call.

1258. I hope you're around to enjoy it.

1259. Let the Skeleton wedding begin.

1260. Behold, the skeletal bride herself!

1261. The alien himself will present the bride.

1262. Such irony.

1263. No, you can't make me!

1264. I won't present the bride!

1265. I won't present the bride!

1266. You will, and you'll like it.

1267. I won't like it!

1268. I won't like it!

1269. I won't like it!

1270. Mind if I crash?

1271. Sorry if I'm not on the guest list.

1272. Seize her!

1273. Hold her!

1274. I guess this is a day for wedding crashers.

1275. I never even got an invitation.

1276. You two shall pay dearly for ruining my special day.

1277. With your lives!

1278. Master! My bony master!

1279. What shall we do?

1280. Skeleton? Lost Skeleton, No!

1281. Why me?

1282. I always hated you.

1283. Stupid Skeleton!

1284. Stupid Skeleton!

1285. You cannot strangle me!

1286. How can you strangle that which does not breathe?

1287. I hate you! I hate you!

1288. Bony idiot!

1289. Foolish mutant!

1290. You have spoiled my plans.

1291. Now you must pay.

1292. No! No!

1293. I—I cannot lose!

1294. I cannot! Obey me, Mutant!

1295. Obey the Lost Skeleton!

1296. He cannot, Skeleton.

1297. Mutants are basically dumb brutes.

1298. They don't have the mental capacity.

1299. I will—I will return!

1300. No! No! Noo...!

1301. It's strange, Paul.

1302. So very strange.

1303. I—I don't think it ever meant to kill.

1304. It just didn't know not to.

1305. Look! Kro-bar is changing Animala back into four animals.

1306. Goodbye!

1307. Bye, forest animals!

1308. Bye, animals!

1309. Bye!

1310. Bye, animals!

1311. You know, a part of me is going to miss Animala.

1312. Not the part that's coming home with me, I hope.

1313. Kro-bar? Will you come down with me,

1314. and remove our meteor from the Skeleton?

1315. Gladly, Paul.

1316. You know, it's funny,

1317. but when the kind of understanding

1318. that you and I have, over a little piece of rock,

1319. spreads throughout the universe,

1320. then and only then will there be understanding amongst

1321. all peoples, alien and alike, in all kinds of places,

1322. at the same time.