The Longest Yard (2005)

1. nails Harrison, and drags him down as if he were gonna hog-tie him, too.

2. JB Logan helped out.

3. Anderson's ninth tackle, he has two behind the line of scrimmage.

4. Give Harrison four yards to the twenty-six.

5. Stoney Walker's coming in and Rufus Middleton is going out,

6. giving Middleton a breather.

7. Boy, has he been burning up a few miles today on stadium turf.

8. Rufus Middleton. All right, it's second and six on the twenty-six.

9. Stoney Walker deployed wide right, Larry Singer left. The line is set. The snap...

10. How long do we have to keep watching this crap?

11. tumbled down on the twenty-three. A quick trap.

12. He had room to run except for that man from Jacksonville,

13. James Washington La Croix, who made a good, sure, low tackle,

14. just as Harrison was about to spurt deep into the secondary.

15. We've had quite an exciting ball game this afternoon...

16. Only a moron could sit and watch two football games one after the other.

17. Victorio covers him there. Singer left.

18. It's about time Robinson went to Singer.

19. Harrison and Mancuso are split behind Robinson.

20. Robinson gives instead to Harrison, up the middle again.

21. He may have the first down, he's close to the 20-yard line.

22. Let's see where they mark the ball.

23. Billy Jacoby and Sonny Anderson again making the tackle. It's going to be...

24. Thank God.

25. That feels so good. I feel so relaxed.

26. You know the help is off, Crewe.

27. The phones are off.

28. We're all alone.

29. Let's get it on, honey. Come on.

30. - Honey. - What?

31. Wake up, baby. Come on. You know it'll be good.

32. You know how good it is. Come on, Crewe.

33. Get off me!

34. Son of a bitch.

35. Where are you going?

36. - Splitting. - Splitting?

37. You split when I tell you to split, you All-American son of a bitch.

38. Lovely, lovely.

39. And when you walk out, stay out.

40. You're too expensive to be useless.

41. Whore!

42. - That's exactly what you are, a whore. - I never looked at it that way before.

43. Everybody's bought you.

44. Colleges, the pros, your gamblers.

45. Who bought those beautiful caps on your teeth,

46. the clothes you're wearing and the bloody tan you've got?

47. Me!

48. Have I ever neglected to thank you, Melissa?

49. You has-been.

50. Where're your keys?

51. If I took everything back... Forget my keys! You'd be bare-assed naked.

52. - Where're your goddamn keys? - Don't touch my keys.

53. I think the love has gone out of our relationship.

54. Bastard.

55. Don't you take my Masseratti.

56. I earned it.

57. I told you not to touch my goddamn car!

58. Police.

59. - Do you have a driver's licence? - What, are you taking a poll?

60. Well, look what we got here. A miniature cop.

61. Can we see your driver's licence?

62. What?

63. Can we see your driver's licence?

64. See if I can get it out.

65. It's him all right.

66. Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?

67. - What? - Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?

68. I couldn't find a car wash.

69. Step away from the bar.

70. Mister, step away from the bar!

71. Don't get pushy, cowboy.

72. - Turn it around. - Come on!

73. - Hold that son of a bitch! - Damn!

74. Now we got you for stealing a car, drunken driving,

75. drunk in public and resisting arrest.

76. - Want something else? - Yeah. I'm going to make you taller.

77. OK, men, let's go.

78. Good afternoon. Where are you from?

79. - Palm Beach County. - Thank you, sir. Second door down.

80. This way, men.

81. They gave you $10,000 for shaving off your moustache on TV?

82. How about giving me $5,000 worth?

83. Coming right off: There's about twenty-five hundred, three thousand,

84. four thousand coming up,

85. five thousand!

86. - Anything else, sir? - That's it.

87. Warden Hazen thinks you're pretty hot stuff.

88. But I'm Captain Knauer.

89. I'm going to spell things out for you. I run this prison.

90. He sits there growing old. I'm out here busting heads.

91. And I run the football team.

92. - What football team? - My football team.

93. Oh.

94. Now, Hazen's going to ask you to help coach.

95. And you just tell him, "No way".

96. Know something?

97. I don't like you.

98. You understand that?

99. Oh, yeah.

100. Attention Cell Block 3 A. Please report as scheduled to your period assignment,

101. except for carpentry and accounting classes.

102. All men assigned to farm detail will meet at one o'clock in the Rotunda.

103. Warden, Captain Knauer's here with inmate Crewe.

104. - Send him in. - Thank you, sir.

105. - You can go in now. - Thank you, Miss Toot.

106. Paul Crewe.

107. The Wrecking Crewe.

108. - It's good to have you here. - Thank you.

109. Young people can learn a great deal from a skilful football game.

110. Offence, defence, spirit of achievement, teamwork.

111. You might say...

112. the game embodies what has made our country great.

113. It's a great game. It's played by great men.

114. We have something of a football team here ourselves, you know.

115. First rank, semi-pro, South-eastern League.

116. Runner-up, National Champions, past five years.

117. Mister Crewe, what do you think of semi-pro ball?

118. Semi-pro's a joke.

119. Well, perhaps we could use a few pointers from the big leagues.

120. Captain, what do you say to Mister Crewe here looking in,

121. giving us the benefit of his invaluable knowledge?

122. That's a real good idea, Warden. We could use all the help we can get.

123. Well?

124. I haven't held a football in eight years. I'm not in very good shape.

125. Nobody's asked you to play, Mister Crewe.

126. What we need is a coach. New blood.

127. New game plan.

128. Anybody who was pro football's Most Valuable Player is special,

129. and I want to have that.

130. I'm not interested in football anymore.

131. Mister Crewe, I don't mind saying,

132. I pulled a lot of strings to get you down here.

133. I appreciate that.

134. Look.

135. What I want is a national title.

136. If, perchance, you should help us achieve that goal,

137. I expect your stay here with us will be very agreeable.

138. Well?

139. I just want to do my time, then get out of here.

140. Very well.

141. All right, I'll turn you over to the good hands of Captain Knauer.

142. Swamp reclamation.

143. Get him out of here.

144. - Captain. - Yes, sir.

145. I'd like a word with you.

146. For the past five years, you've promised me the national title,

147. and every year, you've come up short.

148. - I try, sir. - When I want an answer, I'll indicate.

149. Yes, sir.

150. You've asked for bonus money.

151. Certainly take their football seriously, don't they?

152. This year you've asked for new game uniforms. I've OK'ed them.

153. Everything you've asked for, I've given you.

154. Yes, sir. And I appreciate it, sir.

155. I want that title.

156. You'll give me that title, or you'll be out of a job.

157. You and all that over-priced beef you call a team.

158. We should be in the Superbowl by now!

159. I've lost patience! The gravy train is over! This year you're going to win!

160. You've lovely hair.

161. your last chance! Prison is no different from any other community.

162. Ever find any spiders in it?

163. then I haven't done my job.

164. I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

165. - No, sir. - Then you'll give me the title?

166. - Yes, sir. - Good!

167. I want that man out there.

168. And I want you to make that son of a bitch enthusiastic!

169. - Ever do it standing up? - Let's move it.

170. - I say forget football, you do it. - Why are you so mad?

171. - You better start taking life seriously. - I did exactly what you told me to do.

172. Hey, Superstar. Get a good night's sleep?

173. Too bad you missed breakfast. It was yummy!

174. Gotta get it done.

175. - This is make-work day. - What's make-work day?

176. You shovel it in and shovel back out again.

177. Hustle in there now. Cover that bank.

178. Get that wheelbarrow, Woody.

179. Let's go. Single file.

180. Hang it up, hang it up. Let's get covered.

181. All right, let's go. Come on.

182. Get a shovel.

183. Hey, Superstar.

184. I got an idea. Granny.

185. You ever work with a nigger before?

186. Get another shovel there, boy.

187. All right. Let's go.

188. Heave it up!

189. - Sitting down, boss? - Not today, boy.

190. - Wiping off, boss? - Not today, boy.

191. - Rolling one, boss? - Not yet, boy.

192. Now you know how black man's work feels.

193. How do you like it?

194. Oh, it sort of grows on you.

195. No talking there, Granny.

196. - Yes, boss. - You'll find yourselves in bad time.

197. Yes, boss. Sorry about that, boss.

198. What's he think this is, good time?

199. Looky, looky, looky, here comes cooky!

200. Big deal. Look at him now.

201. How do you like them apples, Superstar?

202. Move the line.

203. Real friendly types you got around here.

204. - Might be your own fault. - Oh, really?

205. Most of these old boys have nothing. Never had nothing to start with.

206. But you, you had it all.

207. Then you let your team-mates down, got caught taking bribes.

208. - I did, did I? - I ain't saying either way.

209. I'm just saying you could've robbed banks, sold dope,

210. stole your grandmother's pension, and none of us would've minded.

211. But shaving points off a football game, that's un-American.

212. You take football real serious down here.

213. - Mind if I ask you one question? - Yeah, I do.

214. Why'd you do it?

215. - It's a long story. - Well, I got eight years.

216. Oh, my God. What the hell is that?

217. That's a member of the warden's football team.

218. Some of these guards are not just everyday run-of-the-mill guards.

219. Crewe! Granville! Front and centre.

220. What now?

221. That means we don't get to finish this delicious lunch.

222. What's he looking for?

223. Snakes.

224. - Snakes? - Yeah.

225. Take five!

226. - Rolling one, boss? - Not today, boy.

227. Jeez!

228. - Terrific. - Football faggot!

229. - Salt pill up here, boss? - Go get it, boy.

230. How long you been in this asylum, Pop?

231. Thirty-four years.

232. - Thirty-four years? - Yep.

233. Last six and a half right here in the swamp.

234. Too old for reclamation, so they made me barracks chief.

235. Aren't you coming up for parole soon?

236. Thirty years ago, I made the mistake of slugging a fish bull. Hazen.

237. Just my luck he made warden.

238. Sent me out here when I was 64 to die, but I've been hanging on.

239. We'll all be in the same place a thousand years from now, so what the hell.

240. Yeah. What the hell.

241. All right, you assholes. Back to work.

242. Hey!

243. This ain't no country club, Superstar. Move your ass.

244. No, no, son. You've got to get off the bunk.

245. Man, for God's sake, get up.

246. On your feet.

247. Listen to me. Nobody's allowed on the bunks till five minutes before lights out.

248. They'll put you in the oven.

249. Man, that can kill you.

250. Did you have any supper yet?

251. No.

252. Later I'll try to get you some chow.

253. You got to eat, man, or you'll die of mono.

254. And they could care less.

255. - Get off me! - Hey, watch it, man!

256. Where the hell you going?

257. Twinkle, twinkle, little Superstar.

258. - Guard. - Yeah?

259. I want to see the warden.

260. Pass the salt.

261. Boy.

262. Come on.

263. Go, baby!

264. That's going to get you twenty-four hours in the hot box, boy.

265. I quit.

266. What makes you so tough?

267. I don't know. It just comes natural.

268. That'll cost you, boy.

269. Rise and shine.

270. Rise and shine.

271. Oh. It's room service.

272. Pretty gamey.

273. Shower and put on some clean whites. The warden wants to see you.

274. - The warden? - Get on down there.

275. Well?

276. - What do you think of my team? - Mean.

277. Crude, but mean.

278. I was depending on you, you know.

279. Well, there's so little time left now, it's quite a problem.

280. They need something before that first game.

281. - You have to win the first game? - Right.

282. Well, it's relatively simple.

283. Yeah. Get yourself a tune-up game, you know?

284. A what?

285. A tune-up game, like the pros have, with a hungry team not in your league.

286. You bring them here and kick the shit out of them.

287. Well.

288. How do you think we'd do against the pros?

289. - That team against the pros? - Yeah.

290. You'd have a real problem.

291. Well, how do you think we'd do against the cons?

292. - I didn't know they had a team. - They don't.

293. But you've given me an inspiration.

294. I've decided, Mister Crewe, that you're going to put one together for me.

295. For that little tune-up game, you know?

296. And you're going to play quarterback.

297. I can't.

298. Why? They're semi-pro, you said yourself. A big joke.

299. That's why people like me around, my sense of humour.

300. Mister Crewe, as old Mister Sam used to say,

301. "In this institution, to get along, you go along."

302. Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

303. I'm just going to do what's left of my eighteen months quietly,

304. and I'm out of here.

305. Oh, yes. Eighteen months.

306. But that is to make parole.

307. That was before you struck Captain Knauer.

308. Your basic sentence is from two to five years.

309. You could be here a long time.

310. If I get this team together, how long do I have to get them organized?

311. Four weeks.

312. - We're talking about early parole? - I believe we are.

313. All right. I'll play.

314. What? I didn't hear.

315. - I'll play. - Sir.

316. I'll play, sir.

317. History. I read you like a book, Mister Crewe.

318. One more thing.

319. What is it?

320. You keep Knauer off my back.

321. Give us a game, Mister Crewe.

322. I'll give you a game.

323. "Hit and be hit".

324. "Anyone with any experience or desire. Prison football team sign-up".

325. - Well, what do you think? - No!

326. - Maybe I'll get annihilated. Forget it. - He's right.

327. Now, wait a second. Hey!

328. Here's how I look at it.

329. Suppose you break your leg or something.

330. That's six weeks easy time in the hospital. That's biscuits and gravy.

331. Tell me something. Would they let me play tackle?

332. Sure.

333. So I'd spend half the time looking directly into Walking Boss's eyes?

334. - Now you got it. - I've always had a thing for him.

335. Walking Boss always had a thing for you.

336. Hold it! Don't you guys know a good thing when you see it?

337. You get a free crack at the guards, even a chance to kill one.

338. - Legal! - Bullshit! I ain't signing that damn thing.

339. Come on, everybody. When Rotka's right, he's right.

340. This honky golden boy sold out his own team-mates, didn't he?

341. Damn sure did.

342. - Did it once, he'll do it again. - Right.

343. Hi.

344. Hi.

345. - You know you're doing it all wrong? - Yeah?

346. Yeah. You'll never put a team together with that bunch.

347. Well, I appreciate the advice.

348. I can help you. I'm Nate Scarboro.

349. - Nate Scarboro, Giants? - Yeah.

350. - Step into my office. - Thank you.

351. - I'm Paul Crewe. - Yeah, I know.

352. - You made All Pro, didn't you? - Right.

353. - Why'd you quit? - It was simple.

354. Doc said, "Quit football or walking". Too many knee operations.

355. I figured walking was better than sitting.

356. Maybe I made the wrong choice.

357. You got about 15 guys worth a damn. The rest... How long did Hazen give you?

358. - A month. - Oh, you bought a bill of goods!

359. Didn't have any choice.

360. You don't have one black player.

361. There are at least 15 here with enough experience to make this club.

362. None signed up.

363. I played eleven years in the league, never even got a hangnail.

364. I'm not going to get hurt in this game.

365. I'm getting the biggest guys I can and surrounding myself.

366. I've watched the guards play for eleven years.

367. I've seen how they won and why they lost.

368. I know those bums better than they know themselves.

369. You just got yourself a job. Head coach.

370. Great bunch of guys you got.

371. "Strangled both wives with panty hose".

372. "Triple murder including body dismemberment".

373. "Hacked mother with meat cleaver".

374. Charming.

375. Double-check the ones with two stars. They're the most violent.

376. Got any three-stars?

377. Damn it, Warden, I think this game's a big mistake.

378. Captain, not only will you have the chance to hone our team to a fine edge,

379. you'll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life.

380. Why is it, do you suppose,

381. that I can walk through this yard,

382. surrounded by hate,

383. and in total command?

384. Because you've got fifteen gun turrets all around you that say you can.

385. Partly, partly.

386. They could grab us right now and slit our throats, but they don't.

387. We get the right person, right place, right time, we can surprise them.

388. One game, one time. We can do it.

389. Hey, you guys about through? Time's almost up.

390. OK, Pop. Hold on.

391. You better hurry up. What have you got for me, Sunshine?

392. I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want.

393. I'm the best hustler in the joint.

394. How much of what he says can he do?

395. He can get you laid in here.

396. With a woman.

397. - What more can I tell you? - Oh, yeah?

398. But can you get me the guards' medical files?

399. - What for? - To find out who's had broken bones.

400. Sonny Tannen, strong as an ox. You'll love him.

401. - That him? - That's him.

402. Hello, Sonny. How'd you like to play some football?

403. Football?

404. Would you like that?

405. You mean, we'd really get to hit the guards?

406. You like that, Sonny?

407. Report to the practice field tomorrow morning, nine o'clock.

408. Cool it!

409. - What's his name? - Indian.

410. - That makes sense. - Now, don't do any ethnic jokes.

411. - Indian, this is Paul Crewe. - Hi.

412. I hear you play some football.

413. - Little bit. - Where?

414. - Oklahoma State. - Oklahoma State U?

415. - Prison. - Yeah.

416. First, we get you out of here and on the football team.

417. How?

418. Well, we'll work on it.

419. That pretty heavy?

420. About 400 pounds.

421. That's pretty heavy.

422. George Samson Granada. Mister Florida 1964.

423. Paul Crewe.

424. - You know Florida? - Yeah.

425. Yeah, they got tough cops here. Small, but tough.

426. We're getting up a football game against the guards.

427. Wondered if you and some of your buddies here would like to join in.

428. With the guards?

429. I'd like that.

430. - Sign him up. - I'm way ahead of you.

431. - See you around. - Look forward to it.

432. Samson, huh?

433. - Samson. - Don't cut your hair.

434. What do you think?

435. Defensively, we can hold them to two or three touchdowns.

436. But we need better pass receiving and more speed to win.

437. To win?

438. I'm just talking about surviving. Who's talking about winning?

439. So am I. This isn't just a football game to the warden.

440. He shows you and this team up, he's showing up all the prisoners.

441. It's just a game.

442. All I want is to survive it. It's just a game.

443. Not to him it isn't. It's a fear and violence philosophy:

444. A chance to be free for a few hours,

445. to try and be men again, so he can destroy us.

446. Nate, if you're thinking about winning the game,

447. you're as crazy as he is.

448. Maybe so.

449. But you spend 14 years in this tank

450. and you realise there's only two things they can't sweat or beat out of you.

451. Your balls.

452. Better hang onto them because they're all you'll have when you get out.

453. - Goodnight, Nate. - Goodnight.

454. Use of toilet facilities is suspended for two hours until repairs are complete.

455. Sorry, men.

456. - Mace. - Yeah.

457. Follow my lead. We're going to do this sucker.

458. Yeah, we got a line-up, we'd jam him.

459. Yeah, let's go see what this boy wants.

460. Pretty boy, we know what you want. We don't play no ball.

461. - Figured you did. - We do but we don't.

462. There it is.

463. - Weren't you two drafted by the pros? - The pros.

464. I understand that, but we no longer perform for the honkies' amusement.

465. Hey, man, I'll play.

466. But guarantee me that I'll start.

467. - You got it. - All right.

468. What's wrong with you, nigger? We don't fuck with them.

469. - I'm going to play football. - But not with them honkies.

470. You better leave. We'll talk later.

471. Yeah, leave. You look better going than you did coming, anyway.

472. What's wrong with you?

473. I'm going to play football.

474. - Look, brother... - I ain't your goddamn brother.

475. You know what, Granville? You're nothing but a big old dumb stupid fool.

476. Makes more sense for me to be busting their heads, than busting yours.

477. Oh, nigger, please. Shit.

478. Where are they?

479. They're not due for another five minutes. What's the matter?

480. We're in big trouble.

481. I don't even know if these clowns played high school football,

482. and we're playing a semi-pro team.

483. Plus, I haven't touched a ball in seven years.

484. Don't worry. Once you've got it, you've got it.

485. Throw one at that tyre over there. It's just like making love.

486. Once you've done it, you never forget how.

487. See?

488. All right, men. We're not going to have time to run any complicated patterns.

489. So we're going to concentrate on the basic plays.

490. But we might learn a few "specialty plays", if you know what I mean.

491. Naturally, we're going to try to get away with as much as possible.

492. My executive assistant, Mr Nate Scarboro, will be more than happy

493. to show you just exactly how much you can try to get away with.

494. The one thing that you're going to have to remember, the most important factor,

495. is to protect your quarterback, me.

496. Wait a minute. That's no bullshit.

497. If anything happens to me,

498. if I get hurt, we're going to have to live with the fact that we had one chance,

499. one chance in a million, to humiliate those bastards,

500. and we blew it.

501. - Is that clear? - Yeah!

502. All right. We're going to hurt them, right?

503. Right!

504. All right. We're going to kick the shit out of them, right?

505. - Right! - What?

506. Right!

507. Right, right, all right!

508. Now, backs and ends come with me, the rest stay here.

509. OK, linemen. Come on, linemen. Come on out here.

510. - What's the agility rating? - Maximum is 10.

511. All right, just hit the holes, I don't want to hear you hit any rubber.

512. Knees high!

513. Come on, let's go, let's go... That's a two.

514. Let's go! Very good! Knees high!

515. Seven. Let's go! Hubba, hubba! Knees high!

516. OK, let's move over to the blocking dummies.

517. Come on, Sonny. Sonny, over here.

518. All right, Granny.

519. - What do I give Granny? - Six.

520. Seven.

521. - Would that be a ten? - That's a ten.

522. All right. I want to see you really hit.

523. On three. Hut one.

524. Hut two. Hut three!

525. All right. Let's protect the passer this time.

526. Good idea!

527. Set!

528. Hut one. Hut two. Hut three!

529. - Sorry, man. - Nice tackle.

530. Hey, Coach.

531. Where are all those specialists you promised me?

532. Jesus Christ!

533. There he is, Connie Shokner.

534. The very baddest cat in the joint.

535. Even the guards are terrified of him.

536. He killed five people on the outside and two in here, with his bare hands.

537. That karate's bad.

538. - That's before he learned karate. - Oh.

539. What's he doing now?

540. Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.

541. Paul. Paul.

542. - I smell a rat. - Hello, Unger.

543. Paul.

544. I've got something important to ask you.

545. I want to be manager.

546. - Caretaker's manager. - I'm better than him. Let me prove it.

547. - Beat it, Unger. - Fuck off!

548. Paul, why don't you like me?

549. I'm crazy about you. I think you're terrific.

550. Friendship is something that should never be taken lightly, Paul.

551. I really want people to like me, but they never do.

552. I'd like very much to be your friend, Paul.

553. Well, it would be an honour and a privilege, Unger.

554. Now, if you'll just excuse me.

555. Paul.

556. You sure about that? I can't be manager?

557. Caretaker's manager.

558. If I'd have only found you sooner, you know?

559. Good thing he loves you. He burnt to death five people he didn't like.

560. Putty in my hands.

561. Come out, boy. Come out.

562. Hello, Mister Shokner.

563. - Know how to play football? - Yeah.

564. Good. Would you like to play football with us inmates?

565. - No. - Oh.

566. We're playing the guards.

567. Yeah. I want to play.

568. He wants to play.

569. Thank you, Mister Shokner.

570. Now, remember, nobody hits the quarterback.

571. Blue 28!

572. Set! Hut!

573. He broke my fucking nose!

574. You bastard, you broke my fucking nose!

575. Calm down. I'll fix it.

576. I don't want to play this game.

577. - He broke my nose. - I'm going to fix it, OK? Here we go.

578. - How does it look? - It looks 100% better, doesn't it?

579. - 100%. - It does?

580. Yeah.

581. - He did that on purpose. - No, he didn't.

582. - Yes, he did. - Tell him you...

583. Tell him you're sorry.

584. Please.

585. OK. I'm sorry.

586. OK, everybody. Huddle up, let's go.

587. He said sorry.

588. - Bullshit! - He said he was sorry.

589. You dumb pussy!

590. - Try it again. - Three, twenty-five, hut, hut!

591. All right. What about the rest of the team?

592. Outside of Crewe, the only one who looks like anything is Granville.

593. - Granville could give you real trouble. - All right, that's all.

594. - Well? - It's going to be a turkey shoot.

595. He's right, sir. We're going to destroy 'em.

596. It's a cinch, boss. A cinch.

597. Cinch.

598. Destroy 'em.

599. Too cute.

600. That's what you said last year before we lost to Endicott Steel, remember?

601. There's no sense us taking any chances, letting ourselves get hurt.

602. - So see what we can do about Granville. - Yes, sir.

603. Granville, get your ass over here.

604. Yes, sir, Lieutenant.

605. What the hell you think you're doing, boy?

606. You pick that up.

607. Yes, sir.

608. What is your problem, fat man?

609. Know why you spades always calling each other "brother"?

610. No, sir.

611. 'Cause half of you don't know who your daddy is, so you might be brothers.

612. Yes, sir, Lieutenant.

613. - You think that's funny? - Yes, sir.

614. You want to hit me, don't you?

615. No, sir, Lieutenant.

616. You're too ignorant to know when a man's calling you a stupid, uneducated nigger.

617. Yes, sir, Lieutenant. May I go now, sir?

618. Yeah, get out of my sight.

619. Blue 48!

620. Blue 48!

621. Set! Hut one!

622. Shit.

623. Hey, lightweight.

624. What the hell is this?

625. Here come the rain-clouds.

626. What do they want?

627. Granny tells us you need a little help. Says you can guarantee no work detail.

628. - Yeah. - Guarantee special food like Granny gets?

629. Yeah.

630. We get to hit those guards like Granny said?

631. You get to hit 'em.

632. What else can we offer them?

633. having a Geneva conference about playing with us.

634. What is this bullshit?

635. Well, Mister Crewe.

636. We've come to terms.

637. Compliments from the Greater Chicago Youth Authority.

638. There goes the neighbourhood.

639. You wanted to see me?

640. Yes, sir.

641. especially Unger.

642. - Unger? - Yes.

643. Unger has a direct pipeline to Captain Knauer.

644. It's impossible for me to have a secret practice while Unger's around.

645. I'm supposed to reschedule the yard activities

646. for three uninterrupted hours of secret practice?

647. - That right? - Yes, sir. Right.

648. And you will talk to Captain Knauer?

649. - I'll speak to the captain on matters. - Thank you, sir.

650. Mister Crewe.

651. Just what is it you have up your sleeve?

652. I'm just trying to give you a football team, Warden.

653. And along the way, maybe give the men some pride and some dignity.

654. Of course, only for a little while.

655. I know you've got something more bouncing around inside that head of yours.

656. You want a game, right?

657. My men don't have a chance in hell of winning that game.

658. You know it, I know it, I just don't want them to know it.

659. OK?

660. Man! I ain't had steak like this in five years!

661. I ain't eaten inside in six!

662. What have you done for me lately?

663. Today may be the high point of a long and colourful career.

664. Three, count 'em, three gigantic rip-offs.

665. First, I've got a box of brand new equipment waiting to be stashed.

666. - Compliments of Captain Knauer? - No less.

667. And the piece de resistance:

668. How would you like actual game films of the guardsmen in action?

669. - Can you do that? - Warden's own home movies.

670. Caretaker, you never cease to amaze me.

671. Never. But you said three gigantic rip-offs.

672. That's only two.

673. - You don't want to ruin the surprise. - Surprise?

674. - There's one thing. - What?

675. You're going to have to perform a personal service.

676. What kind of personal service?

677. The warden's expecting you. Won't you come this way.

678. - Thank you, Captain. - Thank you.

679. I'm glad you're not in the swamp anymore. That can ruin a man.

680. Sure can.

681. We don't have a great deal of time. We have 15 minutes.

682. - The game films. - Thank you. That's terrific.

683. Like I said, we only have 15 minutes.

684. Uh-uh. Won't go over the cuffs.

685. You do this very often?

686. I'm as far from Tallahassee as you are, honey.

687. Shokner.

688. - Shokner. - Yep.

689. Hit him high like that, he'll break your back.

690. Breaks your back, he's going to break the Superstar's back.

691. Don't worry about him. I'll get that son of a bitch with an empi.

692. Kiai!

693. - Ready! Set! - Kiai!

694. - Ready! Set! - Kiai!

695. Take this bandage,

696. dip it into the plaster of Paris,

697. wrap it around the cast, and in 15 minutes it's hard as rock.

698. - Got it? - Got it.

699. - This is a picture of Walking Boss. - Yeah!

700. He once broke his right thigh-bone, maybe you can clip it.

701. - We'll break it again! - Got it?

702. - Got it! - All right. We can do it!

703. Gentlemen, what we have here, in common parlance,

704. is known as a set of brass knuckles.

705. temporary disabilities.

706. Balls. Gut. Ribs.

707. - You got it? - Got it!

708. the ball is snapped, you go into your opponent,

709. blocking him with your left arm and bring this hand up into his chin,

710. and I'll guarantee he'll be incapacitated for the next several moments.

711. - Got it? - Got it!

712. All right. Here's the play we're going to use.

713. I don't think the guards know this formation.

714. It's called "Incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead".

715. Any man you tackle gets an extra elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth. Got it?

716. Got it!

717. I am, without a doubt,

718. the finest maker of raisin jack in the entire joint.

719. I'm going to call this batch "Old Caretaker".

720. Do you always keep it in there?

721. Well, it seems like a logical place.

722. - Listen... - It does get to you.

723. you and me are buddies, ain't we? I got you laid.

724. I got you the game film. I got you all them monsters. I'm getting you drunk.

725. Yes, you are.

726. - There's one thing still bothers me. - What's that?

727. Why'd you shave them points?

728. I told you, for the money.

729. No, no. Come on. Give me the real reason.

730. You really want to know, huh?

731. I never gave a shit about football,

732. or anything else.

733. The only thing I ever cared about's my old man.

734. My old man was blind, never saw me play.

735. Shit, I've been a professional ever since I was 12 years old.

736. Hustling nickels and dimes playing pool.

737. Didn't make enough money to take care of him.

738. And I figured when I got to pro ball, I'd make one big killing.

739. One big one.

740. Make enough money to set him up,

741. take care of him the rest of his life.

742. Then the son of a bitch died.

743. Do you buy that?

744. Well, that's good because it's bullshit.

745. Why do you think I shaved points?

746. For the money.

747. One minute to lock-up. One minute.

748. Know what my problem's always been?

749. No, what?